Come Undone
Come Undone
Madelynne Ellis
On stage he’s dynamite. Off stage he rocks her world.From Madelynne Ellis, author of best selling Mischief books ‘Anything but Vanilla’ and ‘Her Husband’s Lover’, ‘Come Undone’ is a passionate, sexy romance that will leave you breathless.When red-hot, Goth-metal band, Black Halo, split live on stage, fate throws Daniella Fosbrook into the path of sexy vocalist Xane Geist. Initially, Xane’s only looking for a ride home, but Dani tempts him in a way a thousand other women haven’t. Determined to explore their heady chemistry and avoid hashing things out with the band, Xane whisks Dani off to Monaco for a steamy weekend.There, Dani tries her best to hang onto her heart and some clothing, while Xane soon loses both. However, Xane isn’t being entirely honest about the reason for the band’s demise. When the truth comes out, can Dani accept the facts, or will everything come undone?
Come Undone
Rock Hard: Book 1
Madelynne Ellis
Table of Contents
Cover (#uf35f5485-063c-53bc-86e8-142b571f56f0)
Title Page (#u8a130dcf-385c-5ea7-b3b1-d50817172a0e)
Chapter 1 (#ub8e4361d-ec88-51c0-b63d-68780d3e60a3)
Chapter 2 (#uf1d36ced-abb2-5788-8a45-b243279bd4e9)
Chapter 3 (#u860e0d28-671a-5a1c-a439-1444598a4f7c)
Chapter 4 (#u02962cfa-7ac1-53a1-8755-bcf31fc873bc)
Chapter 5 (#u2447e980-799a-597a-95be-8e84e48a1afa)
Chapter 6 (#u411f6d32-08b5-5be7-b225-997c3b8a29ba)
Chapter 7 (#ucb997d76-89e2-5543-9b35-3b9943d179a1)
Chapter 8 (#u9f7c577f-cefe-545d-8ecc-7c13a0fc28cd)
Chapter 9 (#u8c0a2328-9dde-5d52-9771-d57507b32547)
Chapter 10 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 11 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 12 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 13 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 14 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 15 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 16 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 17 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 18 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 19 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 20 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 21 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 22 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 23 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 24 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 25 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 26 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 27 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 28 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 29 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 30 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 31 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 32 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 33 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 34 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 35 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 36 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 37 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 38 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 39 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 40 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 41 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 42 (#litres_trial_promo)
More from Mischief (#litres_trial_promo)
About Mischief (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
About the Publisher (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 1 (#ulink_ff5a5dbd-89bd-5124-8649-88fad2ebb662)
‘Leave it – leave it. Ginny, don’t.’
Daniella struggled to keep the excitement out of her voice as Ginny seized the lanyard and tugged. It slipped readily enough from beneath the handles of the half-open handbag and slithered into her palm, bringing the prized backstage pass with it.
‘Bingo!’ Ginny took a moment to sway her hips in a triumphant wiggle, before the sound of the toilet flushing caused her eyes to widen. She and Dani lurched towards the exit and somehow managed to squeeze through together. After a ten-metre sprint down a corridor they turned a corner and collapsed against the wall with stupid grins stretched across their faces.
‘Mmmwha.’ Ginny smacked a kiss upon the stolen pass. ‘We’re in, Black Halo all-access.’ She gave Dani a thumbs-up, only to roll her eyes a second later at the sight of Dani’s frown.
‘We shouldn’t have done that,’ Dani wheezed, still bent over from the exertion. ‘Are you insane? She’ll probably get into awful trouble for losing it.’ Not that her concern was entirely for the woman in the loos. What she really meant to say was that they’d get into trouble. Arrested, probably, and definitely escorted off site. Her mum would disown her or, worse, exact sanctions, and she’d only recently managed to fly the nest and move into student digs.
‘Gin, why did you do that?’ Dani pushed away from the wall, and straightened her skirt, which had somehow got twisted during their insane flight. Even set to rights, she wasn’t entirely comfortable in the ensemble, which was one of Ginny’s and far too short and clingy. She hadn’t shown off this much leg since her pre-teen days. ‘You’re going to get us into so much shit.’
Ginny stuck her head around the corner to check the way was clear. ‘Don’t be soft. It’ll teach her to take better care of her property. She’s lucky it’s only this little baby –’ Ginny wafted the laminated card before Dani’s nose ‘– that she’s lost and not her purse and credit cards too. Admit it – it’s pretty dumb to leave your bag unattended in a public washroom.’
‘Suppose.’ Depressingly, that was true, no matter how much Dani might wish otherwise. Not that it excused their action. Now the thrill of the moment had passed, she rather wished she’d put more effort into stopping the theft, instead of behaving like a teenage mug. She was older and smarter than that, and having a crush the size of a mountain on the Black Halo front man didn’t excuse juvenile behaviour.
‘The main act’s starting,’ she said, thinking they could hand the pass in to one of the security guys working the doors before they went to their seats. They could say they found it. They might even get a legitimate reward for their honesty. ‘Let’s go in now.’
‘What’s the rush?’ Ginny stalled, dragging her heels as they walked back towards the main foyer. She stopped before a poster advertising the tour to fluff her jet-black hair.
Despite Ginny’s black-only wardrobe, Daniella suspected that her friend didn’t actually like Black Halo’s music as much as she did the band members, or at least some idea of them, or just the notion of snogging them. She’d already vetoed watching the two support acts in favour of hitting the bar and then scouting around for a route backstage. Dani hadn’t been too bothered by that. Godwatch’s lyrics strayed into uncomfortable territory for her, but she hadn’t forked out for a ticket to miss seeing her favourite band. ‘I came here to see them, please let’s just do that,’ she pleaded.
‘Don’t you want to see where this baby can get us?’ Ginny kissed the laminate again. ‘Come on, admit it, an all-access pass to the group is way more exciting than standing in a crowd and yelling, “Black is my heart” until you go hoarse.’
Actually, Dani had been looking forward to shouting along with the several-thousand-strong crowd. The resulting sore throat would be totally worth it. Plus, they had seats right at the front so she’d get to see vocalist Xane Geist close up. And oh, she had to squeeze herself just thinking about that, and how he might look at her even for a second.
Xane was Dani’s secret piece of rebellion, her Lucifer wrapped up in an unbearably erotic package. He was all tight muscle and temptation. His snaky hips alone were an enticement to sin. Then there was his voice, unique even within the gothic metal scene, and his disturbing but oh, so very pretty face.
‘Dani Fosbrook, don’t pretend you’re not up for this. We both know how wet Xane gets your knickers. You’re literally dying for him to get into them.’
OK, her not so secret fantasy. Yes, she’d struggle to say no to him if he asked her to kneel and worship him, but that didn’t make the notion of sneaking into his dressing room and throwing herself at him any less abhorrent. That was the sort of stunt that, if anyone were to find out, would earn her a one-way ticket back to St Agatha’s home for the benevolently disturbed. And she was so, so done with that messed-up place.
‘Think on it, you can have him right after he’s walked off stage.’
Nnn-gh! Dani bit down so hard her teeth hurt. She ought never to have come with Ginny, who had the morals of an alley cat and the sex drive of a Duracell bunny. Her friend’s plan for the night appeared to be not only to get laid but to do every member of Black Halo before they’d even hit the showers.
Yet until now Ginny had seemed her best option. The only other people Dani knew who were there were Ellen, Tony and Reg, and the thought of Reg accidentally on purpose nudging against her every few seconds so he could cop a feel of her butt gave her hives.
‘Come on, Saint. Don’t sweat it. Let me do the talking.’
Dani bristled at the use of her recently acquired nickname. Other people seemed to find it amusing that she’d been brought up in a religious commune. They hadn’t a blinking clue! There was absolutely nothing amusing about St Agatha’s.
Ginny linked their arms and swung them around. ‘You, me and Xane, that’s all you have to think about. Now, let’s go and grab a piece of his ass.’
And, like that, Dani allowed herself to be tugged away from the auditorium.
Chapter 2 (#ulink_610525d8-b445-59bf-8d62-7dfb639d5f6e)
There was a second, a single sprawling moment between two beats during which Xane genuinely believed he could make it through the show. He’d worked for this; no one could say he hadn’t. The crowd before him screamed his name, sometimes so loudly he could hear it over the top of the thundering guitars and the crackle of his own voice. But he could only see them in snapshots between the curls of dry ice and the near-blinding array of overhead lights, and that wasn’t enough to keep him grounded. The first time his voice cracked it was pretty easy to cover, the fifth not so much.
The lyrics, words he’d written, might sound like an incomprehensible growl to the critics, but they had meaning for him. Meanings that now bruised and bit and tore into his chest, making him feel as though his heart would rupture. Whereas in the past those words had been an emotional, sometimes sentimental, sometimes cathartic release, they were now transformed into a poisonous rehashing of the last eighteen months.
He had to stop this charade somehow. If only to make them realise he wasn’t here to be used and abused.
When, midway through ‘Perverted Wraiths’, their biggest hit to date, he skipped the first three lines of the chorus, the concerned looks that bassist Paul ‘Rock Giant’ Reed had been throwing him became truly alarmed. For a while the rest of the group were carrying him, but that couldn’t last long. The fans were watching, and they were used to a thumping, souped-up horror show that Xane led. If there were monsters in the band, then he was the biggest, and made a point of dressing the part: black leather, piercings, the sort of glassy-eyed stare that could melt steel (it certainly wet knickers) and other accoutrements of the shock-horror genre. Then there was the stuff he could do with his voice – raising hairs on the backs of necks one second, only to change into a chorus of angels the next. What he actually was, when you stripped away all the theatre, didn’t matter. Folks didn’t pay to see the real Xane Geist. They paid for a spectacle.
Unfortunately, tonight the cracks in his disguise were showing.
Given the amount of crap he endured on a daily basis, and the routine lack of respect, it was a miracle he hadn’t reached this point sooner. One human being could only take so much, and being a rock god didn’t change that.
His nose stung, and his vocal cords refused to form the lyrics. Hell, he couldn’t even scream, something he was particularly known for.
Elspeth ought to have held her tongue, but when did she ever?
Why had he believed she’d be good for him?
Maybe, if he’d been more honest with himself and how he felt, it would never have come to this?
There was no way of knowing now.
The sound of the audience’s frustrated baying was a minor thing at first, easily masked by the crash of the drums, but soon not even Ash hacking away on lead guitar could entirely drown them out.
When he mouthed, ‘We’re done’ to Steve, the drummer, he hadn’t counted on the big screen picking it up. The fact that it did brought things to an extremely swift halt.
* * *
Xane barely got off the stage before Paul and Ash were both in his face asking him what the fuck was going on. Xane was no weed but Rock Giant towered over him by a good four inches. He could probably bench-press Xane and a Ford Fiesta combined. ‘What the fuck, man? Get back out there.’
‘Is something up with your voice?’ Ash, their lead guitarist, muscled his way between them. He wasn’t quite Rock Giant sized, but he did know how to throw a mean punch. ‘You’ve been off-key all night.’
‘He’s been giving one too many blow jobs,’ one of the roadies joked.
Xane threw the guy a scathing glance.
‘Keep your dickhead remarks to yourself, Liam. Unless you’d like me to review your working hours?’ Ash snarled. He returned his attention to Xane. ‘Do you need a break to gargle some tea, or something? We can say there’re technical issues.’
‘There’s nothing wrong with my throat.’ Xane wasn’t even going to pretend that was the case. His problems were was far more deep-rooted than that. He could no longer work with these people. He didn’t want to be on the same continent as two of them. ‘Gig’s off.’ It wasn’t even a case of artistic differences. Those they could have worked out. This they’d never make right.
‘What the fuck!’ Jan ‘Spook’ Mortensen, who rarely muttered more than five sentences a week, launched into a string of Swedish expletives. Curiously, the dozen or so Swedish words that Xane knew.
‘You know he has a point, Xane.’ Ash tried to lead him off into a corner for a quiet chat, but the rest of the group followed. ‘There’s a stadium full of mad bastards out there. Do you really want to tell them the show’s over? They’re not going to slope off quietly to their homes and hotel rooms.’
He understood that. They’d come for a piece of him, and they’d insist on getting it. He, however, was damn sure they weren’t getting any more of him tonight, regardless of how many people insisted on staring at him as though he’d grown an extra head.
‘Xane, it’ll cost us millions.’
Hardly. This was one gig, and there was only one other date left on the tour. It might piss off a few people, but they’d get over it. Bands sometimes had to cancel shows at short notice. It happened. It rarely crippled anyone.
The guys parted to let Elspeth float to the fore. She looked as insubstantial as a wraith, but she had a banshee’s backbone and a scold’s tongue. Her lips were slicked red, and curved into a perfect pout around two sets of vampire fangs.
Xane’s hackles rose the moment her jasmine perfume wafted to his nostrils. He refused to look at her, focusing instead on the top of her head. She and Spook were the only blondes in the band, but Spook’s white-blond mane didn’t come out of a bottle. Elspeth was showing a quarter-inch of mousy brown roots.
When she curled her hand over his arm, he mentally pulled himself inwards. Xane stared at her black polished nails and fought the urge to physically recoil too.
‘Look, honey, I know you’re upset, but for crap’s sake think about this. You’re not just going to shaft us over this gig if you walk out. The press will hammer us into an early grave. We’ll all lose out. All of us.’
The problem was that ‘all’ didn’t seem to include him in any capacity other than as a cash cow. He knew for a fact that she didn’t give a damn about him as a person. She’d proved that resoundingly, five minutes before they’d walked out on stage.
‘Black Halo’s dead.’
He hadn’t planned to say it, to make it so final, but as soon as the words were spoken he knew it was the right decision. They were over in their current format anyway, because he couldn’t continue to work with either her or Steve. This was his band. Without him, Black Halo were nothing. He was their lyricist, their main composer, the motivating force behind it all. Their whole image had been created by him. Without his drive, nothing would ever happen. Maybe now they’d start to appreciate that.
Despite his bitterness, the shock reflected in their eyes gave him a moment’s pause, but only until he realised that the relief the announcement brought him had given his foul mood a strange little upswing. Oh, yeah, screeched the bit inside him that hurt. Chew on that, lady.
When he jerked away from Elspeth’s grasp, to his relief she didn’t attempt to touch him again.
‘No,’ Rock Giant groaned. ‘We are not done over a fucking lovers’ tiff.’ He stared at them as if he expected them to lay aside their quarrel and to kiss and make up.
It wasn’t happening.
Rock Giant held his head in his hands, which crushed several of the deranged spikes he’d moulded his hair into. ‘I can’t believe you’re doing this, Xane. The band’s more important than one individual relationship within it. Seriously, you’re throwing in the towel because she’s not warming your bed any more?’
‘Paul’s right, Xane. You’re acting way out of proportion.’ Graham Callahan, the band’s manager, had arrived, his twenty-stone frame squeezed into a corporate suit.
He was not overreacting. This wasn’t only about him and Elspeth. It was about him and Steve, and the rest of the band too, and all their shitty attitudes, which were apparently about to see another airing.
‘You need to get back on stage.’
Not bloody likely. Xane gave a swift shake of his head.
Several of the roadies formed up around him like a squad of Marines. As if marching him back onto the stage was going to achieve anything.
‘Seriously, I’m done.’
‘Xane.’
‘Really, Graham.’
Would it have hurt any of them to ask him if he was OK? It wasn’t as if they hadn’t figured out the basics of what was going on. But no, all they were concerned about was what was best for them and their wallets.
Graham raised his hand. ‘OK, let’s talk.’
He didn’t fucking want to talk. He didn’t want to explain. He just wanted out. If any of them actually wanted to know what had caused this rift then they could yap amongst themselves and figure it out. That’s if the platinum band next to the ruddy enormous diamond on Elspeth’s finger didn’t clue them in.
He wasn’t the one responsible for this. He was just the shmuck who’d been taken for granted and then unceremoniously dumped by someone he’d loved and trusted.
It was probably a good thing there were no windows backstage, because he felt like punching glass.
‘Xane, I’m sorry,’ Steve mumbled at him as Xane shouldered his way towards the greenroom. He wasn’t sticking around for a debate, and he sure as hell wasn’t singing, even if they dragged him back on stage trussed up like a Christmas turkey.
Right now, he couldn’t sing. He was too fucking choked with anger.
Steve tailed him as far as the water fountain. ‘You know it wasn’t our intention to hurt you. It doesn’t have to change things between us. It can still be like before, if you want.’
If he wanted. Nice of Steve to think of him at last. Except, of course, it was bollocks. No way could things be the same. Marriage changed things irrevocably. It involved commitment. It imposed limits. It stank of exclusivity. And Steve and Elspeth were hitched.
‘We’re for ever, man.’ Steve lifted his hand as though he intended them to brush knuckles. Instead, Xane snapped the chain he wore around his neck and dumped the contents into the callused hands of his drummer.
‘Not any more. I don’t want to see either of you again.’
Steve’s brow furrowed. ‘You don’t mean that.’
‘Weren’t you listening?’ God, it hurt his throat to speak. ‘The band’s done.’
Steve stroked his hand over his chin and his devilish goatee. ‘I didn’t think you actually meant it.’
‘We’re done.’ Xane repeated to emphasise the point.
Steve crossed his arms over his chest. ‘What would you have us do, Xane? I love her. You know I do. Was I supposed to turn her down?’
Xane’s eyes narrowed. The sting in his nose had become almost intolerable. It made him physically ill to look at this man who had been his closest friend for years. ‘Did you think for a second how I’d feel?’
Steve stretched out his arm, but Xane stepped back out of reach to avoid the contact, leaving his former friend shaking his head.
‘I’m sorry it’s happened this way. I really am. It’s not how I wanted it. I thought we were good, Xane. I thought you understood. I hope when you’ve calmed down we can –’
‘Fuck off!’ Xane snarled, tightening his fists. ‘Seriously, just eff off, before I give in to what I’d like to do and wring your bloody neck.’
Chapter 3 (#ulink_64f2d245-5a8e-5ad5-af4b-59a433478956)
Not only was Ginny’s plan the source of everything stupid, it was moronic too. Missing the show on the vague off-chance that they might meet the band sucked big time. Dani wanted to be in with the crowd, singing along with Xane’s growling vocals as Spook Mortenson went batshit on guitar. That guy could work magic on a fretboard. His textures, the way he injected primal desire into the heavy choruses from their Beyond the Lich Gate album, set vibrations running through her nerves as though it were her he was playing.
‘Can’t we just hit their hotel bar, post show?’ she whined.
They’d managed to slip into the backstage area, although bits of it looked more like a coffee shop, thanks to the leather tub chairs and cute round tables. But there’d not been so much as a sniff of testosterone, unless you counted the odd besuited member of the venue staff.
‘Know where they’re staying, do you?’ Ginny asked, planting a hand firmly on her hip.
Dani sighed at her toes. ‘Actually, I heard it was the Whyteleaf.’ The landmark family-run hotel had recently undergone an extensive refurbishment, having been purchased by a global conglomerate. What’s more, their PR man had clearly decided that having a rock band, even an extreme metal group, constituted a major scoop for business. Black Halo’s image had been splashed across all their recent advertising.
Ginny vetoed the possibility with a slash of her hand. ‘Everyone will be there. We’ll not get close.’
They didn’t seem to be getting very close anyway. ‘Ginny, are you even sure this is the right place? These rooms look like offices.’
‘What do you expect a dressing room to look like?’
‘I don’t know, stars on the doors?’ She’d never been backstage anywhere before, unless you counted performing in the school nativity play. She’d assumed it’d be full of bustling activity, whereas their current surroundings were too quiet. Only the odd vibration through the floor hinted that there was a band on the premises.
They turned yet another corner and into a broad corridor, down which there were at least a dozen doors. ‘Like these, you mean?’ Ginny crowed.
There weren’t actually stars on the doors, but there were card slots. Godwatch, Dying Pain … Ginny read them out, her voice growing louder, until she shrieked, ‘Black Halo. Yes!’ She punched the air. ‘Dani, we’re in.’
Ginny barged straight into the room. Dani followed on the balls of her feet, expecting to be challenged. Inside, dressing tables lit with hundreds of bulbs lined one wall of a roughly boot-shaped room. They’d entered at the leg end, a tight space dominated by rails full of leather coats. Where the room widened, twin squashy sofas sat either side of a coffee table littered with beer cans and half-empty bottles of spring water. A purple electric guitar lay in the centre of one sofa, and a huge display of lilies on its counterpart. The smell of flowers permeated the room, almost but not quite masking the waxy odour of white foundation, hairspray and half a dozen different deodorants.
‘Seriously, they make them all squish into one room?’ Dani had anticipated a dressing room each. Surely by the time you hit Black Halo’s level of success you were guaranteed a little privacy? ‘So, now what?’
Ginny moved the lilies onto the table alongside someone’s laptop and a stack of chocolate. Then she stretched out on that sofa. ‘We chill, silly.’
Dani flicked a glance at the clock on her phone. She had no intention of lounging around in the dressing room with Ginny for the next hour, missing all the thrill of the show. She’d bought a ticket so that she could chant along with the rest of the crowd, not to camp out in a glorified closet. ‘I’m going to go watch,’ she insisted.
‘Suit yourself.’ Ginny rolled her eyes upwards, then crossed her arms and snuggled against the leather. ‘Suppose you’d better take this, then, just so that you can get back in. And don’t lose it. I need to frame that baby later.’
Dani caught the laminated pass and slipped the lanyard around her neck, still half hoping Ginny would come with her. When it became apparent she wouldn’t, Dani headed for the door.
‘Hey, Saint,’ Ginny called. Dani turned to see her helping herself to a bar of chocolate. ‘Are you actually going to come back or shall I see you at the hotel?’
‘Um,’ Dani replied, her hand on the door knob. She worried her lower lip with her teeth. Sure, she wanted to meet the band, but not through subterfuge. Ginny’s method also required her to be somebody she wasn’t, and entailed expectations that made her uneasy. Dani didn’t put out for a guy on a first date – and she was applying the term ‘date’ very loosely in this situation. That rule didn’t change even if the guy in question was a rock star, and somehow she didn’t think any of the band members would be interested in a chat over coffee. Before she let a man between her legs, he had to prove he cared about her. She couldn’t be like Ginny, who never seemed to worry about pregnancy or disease or any other complication. Ginny didn’t need trust to get naked, only the most basic of excuses.
Dani preferred not to take all her clothes off – ever. She routinely showered with her eyes tight closed, and, if it’d been practical to leave her underwear on, would have done so. The thought of allowing a stranger to get frisky with her, especially while his mates were hanging about close enough to hear, if not see, them, made her nauseous, not horny.
‘It’s OK, Saint. I can be woman enough for them all if you’re not game.’
‘Well …’
‘Really. It’s fine. I’ll see you at the hotel.’
‘How?’ Dani asked. They’d driven to the stadium together.
Ginny laughed at her. ‘Duh, I’ll call a cab. You know, the black things with wheels on the corners that ferry people about. And don’t feel you need to wait up.’
‘All right,’ she agreed dubiously, not entirely happy about the idea of leaving Ginny to make her way alone. And she would wait up, same as she always did when Ginny stayed out late, just to make sure she actually got home.
‘Use the pass if you change your mind about scoring yourself some hot man-flesh.’
Dani left her and began retracing their steps. Naturally, she did wonder if she’d made the right decision. She did desperately want to meet Xane, and it would definitely be safer if she and Ginny stuck together, but … hell, Xane probably wouldn’t want anything to do with her anyway, especially when she wasn’t prepared to put out, and she didn’t think she could stomach that sort of rejection. Also, she didn’t want to see Ginny getting frisky with him. That’d make her puke.
Better that she stuck to seeing the gig. As it was, she was going to have to concoct a story for her mum about what she’d been up to tonight. She might have escaped the commune, but the sisterhood were still paying her university fees, and they liked to keep close tabs on her to ensure she was still upholding the precepts of the order.
Attending rock concerts, especially Black Halo gigs, definitely wasn’t on the list of acceptable activities. Black Halo epitomised just about everything the sisterhood despised most. If they found out she’d been here, they’d probably cut her off. Or, worse, drag her back to the commune to live amongst them again.
Dani paused, realising she’d taken a wrong turn in the maze of backstage corridors. Ahead, rather than the entrance hall, were crates of equipment. Several beefy guys – roadies, she guessed – were lounging around swigging tinnies. One or two were entertaining a huddle of scantily dressed rock chicks.
Ginny would have blended right in, but even decked out in Ginny’s goth gear Dani knew she’d give off the wrong vibes. Better she kept her distance than embarrassed herself by asking for directions.
Only one guy even shot a glance in her direction. His interest died away the moment he focused on her chest.
She’d have felt hurt, if she hadn’t realised he’d clocked her pass. It was white, while the ones the girls were wearing were all pink.
Having decided that she must be quite close to the stage now, Dani continued onwards. Only where was the thumping bass? Even through the walls she ought to have been able to hear that by now, if not feel the vibrations pummelling her chest. Instead, only a low-level hum of voices reached her from ahead.
Another few paces on, and she stopped to perform a double take. Hang on … wasn’t that Ash Gore, the Black Halo lead guitarist, lounging against the stacks? Why wasn’t he on stage with the rest of the band?
Unless he had an identical twin brother?
Nah – it would have cropped up in interviews. Stuff like that gave the fan girls wet dreams. Nor did it account for the thick rim of kohl around his eyes or his crazy metal-head hair. Or, indeed, why Rock Giant hunched beside him on top of a busted amp.
‘Oof!’
Dani came to an unceremonious halt, metal claws digging into her shoulder. She put out a hand for balance, only for it to meet leather – soft, supple, leather – and then hard muscle. Equally quickly, she jerked away.
‘Sorry.’
‘Just look where you’re going?’
She was. Leastways, now she was. Staring in gobsmacked disbelief, in fact. Her attention fixed upon his lamp-like cat’s eyes.
Xane. She’d walked right into Xane Geist without even seeing him. And … and … wow.
Her heart gave a fluttery drum roll, while her knees threatened to buckle.
Xane had always been her favourite. As the face of the group, he’d always drawn the bulk of the fans’ attention, but he was also the acknowledged genius behind their success. Up close, the magnetism that wowed audiences snagged her in the midriff and yanked her into closer proximity. He was … She had to touch her lips to ensure she wasn’t drooling. He was perfect.
Inky black hair framed his narrow face, and the ends reached midway down his chest. A spiked collar encircled his neck. Dani curled her fingers. The memory of his heat still warmed their tips. His cheekbones were shaved as if from pure marble; his nose a slender blade, above which his black eyebrows were furrowed. His crooked, kissable lips were drawn into a tight scowl that was further emphasised by the silver hoop piercing the centre of his bottom lip.
Two further hoops pierced his right eyebrow.
Beneath his leather jacket, he was dressed in a combination of rags and more form-fitting black leather. When she’d touched him, she’d hit a spot where his T-shirt was ripped away to show a painted-on version of his exposed ribs.
Dani’s lips parted in a gasp. For the first time in her life, she understood what it meant to melt, too feel so drawn to another human being that she lost control of even the most basic functions. All at once she was too jittery and hot; molten with arousal and terrified and ashamed too.
Oh, man – he smelled fab too, of good old-fashioned body scent, liberally mixed with a spritz of something expensive for men. Now it made sense why women like Ginny went to such effort to meet him, and why they were prepared to throw their morals to the wind and romp like wild things with a total stranger.
She could even picture herself sprawled across some hotel bed with him, having crazy sex.
‘Are you all right? Lost?’ He sounded pissed off, something his brittle smile corroborated. Yet Dani’s brain only processed the fact that his speaking voice was much softer than she’d anticipated, and lacked any hint of his trademark growl.
Realising she was still gaping at him, she took a moment to close her mouth. She wasn’t lost, just dazzled.
The painful bite of Xane’s claw rings restored her sanity. She coughed and straightened herself.
Xane kept his hand on her shoulder. ‘Sally?’ he said, as he lifted the backstage pass to read her name. Even hidden by opaque contact lenses, his eyes were still shrewdly intelligent as he gave her face and body a quick, appreciative sweep. ‘Were you looking for me?’ His eyebrows arched meaningfully.
‘Yes. I mean, no. I was trying to get through to the arena so I could watch the show.’
They maintained eye contact, because Dani couldn’t wrench her gaze away.
For a split second Xane’s scowl transformed into a smile. ‘The show’s over, honey. I don’t think you want to go out there.’
‘I don’t? Already?’
He rubbed his thumb across the part of her ID that said PR. ‘I’d stay back here. Safer, until you’ve a statement worked out.’
A statement! What was she supposed to give a statement about? And how was it she’d managed to miss the entire show? It wasn’t supposed to be over yet. Although now she thought about it, the roadies did appear to be packing up. ‘W–what happened?’ If she’d been an actual PR person she’d have been in full-on flap right about now. The woman whose pass she wore probably was. Ginny ought never to have taken her card.
Xane shook his head. ‘Sally.’ He snagged hold of the lanyard again, forcing her to meet his gaze. This was it. She was busted. He was going to yell for security and have her unceremoniously dumped out back. ‘Do you drive?’
‘A car, you mean?’ Why was this important? ‘Yes. I drove to the show.’
His lips quirked up at one corner, forming a rehearsed smile, which nevertheless had her creaming her knickers.
‘Good. Then you can get me out of here.’
Chapter 4 (#ulink_84fbd683-88d8-5b8d-ba59-5f9e16752191)
‘Xane. Hold up, man.’ Ash stopped him just before he hit the tarmac, by making a starfish impersonation across the exit. His original intention might have been noble – Ash, like Xane, only had one commitment in life and that was the band – but his best intentions went bye-bye as he checked out the girl.
Hell knows who she really was. For definite she wasn’t Sally Kettering, prize battle-axe and PR fiend extraordinaire. Sally had never looked half so hot. Most of the time she barely looked human, and in her case that primarily wasn’t down to stage make-up. He’d made sure Sally had plenty of work to do tonight, a fact she’d no doubt fry him for later.
This girl, now – she was exactly the right mix of hot, indecisive and innocent to get Ash completely jacked up. Pretty oval face, with big wide-set brown eyes and a slightly top-heavy figure, coupled with a fearfully delicate smile. Admittedly, pretty much anything that moved and was ostensibly female captured Ash’s interest. The lead guitarist got laid more often than the rest of the group put together, and none of them went short in that respect. The others weren’t quite such bastards about it, though. Ash liked to get his kink on, turn them out and move straight on to the next one. He consumed women in the same way he consumed booze. He’d take whatever was on offer, as long as it went down well.
The reason Xane insisted on individual hotel suites and his own tour bus wasn’t just because he needed solitude in order to compose. It saved him from being irate at Ash twenty-four seven. Patting Ash’s rejects on the back and seeing them on their way got horribly tedious. Nor did he care for the constant reminder of what his life had once been like. It wasn’t so very long ago that he’d shown similarly indiscriminate tastes. That’d changed in recent times. Having found himself a comfortable arrangement, he hadn’t felt the need to wander.
‘Hadn’t’ – the word rang in his head like a leper’s bell. He tried to shut down the thought before it doubled him over, but failed miserably. His relationship was in tatters, and what he needed right now was a hell of a lot of something to deaden the pain.
When the hell would he learn his lesson? Just because someone whispered words of love into your ear after they fucked you didn’t mean they meant it. It didn’t mean you could trust them. People said one thing and then did another all the time. It wasn’t as if he didn’t know that. It just hurt like fuck to accept it.
Xane kept his fists curled tight. It wasn’t very manly, but curling into a ball and sobbing until he was hoarse really appealed right now. Except he was too damned angry to cry, and he refused to shed a tear over that bastard and bitch.
Not that it was purely the Steve-and-Elspeth situation riling him. It was the contempt too. The fact that the rest of the band valued him so little they thought it was no big deal for him to be treated like this.
Well, it was time people started accepting that their actions had repercussions. If you pissed on the same fire often enough it went out. And right now he felt thoroughly pissed on.
‘Where you headed?’ Ash enquired nonchalantly, as though there were nothing amiss.
Xane put his arm around the girl’s shoulders. Beneath her skin, her pulse raced excitedly. She probably thought she’d won herself a grand old prize, when she couldn’t have been more wrong.
‘Sally and I are going for a drive.’
That got him a response. Ash raised both beetle-black brows in disbelief. The girl stiffened too, so much so that Xane almost withdrew his hold. It seemed the idea of getting lewd and crude with him hadn’t actually been front and centre in her thoughts. She looked up at him in stunned disbelief.
‘Really?’ Ash raked his gaze over the girl’s body from her tits to the hem of her very short skirt. ‘I know I’m always on at you to branch out more, but is now really the best time? Shouldn’t you be hashing it out with them?’
Xane flicked the tip of his tongue against the silver ring through his lip. ‘To what purpose? Everything that needs saying has already been said.’
Ash hunched his shoulders so high he was in danger of piercing his ears with the spikes on his jacket. ‘Dammit, Xane, nothing’s been said at all! It was a dumb situation to get yourself in, and it’s even dumber now. You ought to be glad you’re out of it.’
‘’Cause you’d know all about what’s best for me.’
‘I know you should have waited until the gig was over before you started your pity party.’
Yeah, and Elspeth should have held her bloody tongue until the show was done, but he didn’t suppose Ash had bothered to yell at her.
Xane moved closer to the door. His public image might be as a hard man of rock, but not even he could perform a death growl with his throat choked up and a six-foot incision in his chest.
Ash shifted to one side but slouched against the doorframe, forcing them to step over his legs to get out. ‘I’ll be in touch tomorrow. We need to talk things through.’
They didn’t need to talk about jack. Black Halo was done in its current form. ‘Whatever.’ Xane pulled his saviour into the rain.
After the heat of the arena, the cold outside came as a surprise. Xane kept hold of the girl as much for warmth as to maintain the façade that he intended to get laid. Sex was not what he needed right now. With his soul already flayed he didn’t need someone else’s expectations and emotions complicating things. And the thing about fans – which is what he gathered she was – was that they all thought they knew him, having memorised a few bits of trivia. Not only that, but they assumed, because they ‘knew’ him and loved him, he’d feel the same way in return.
He never did. They weren’t people he’d call friends. They had no life experiences in common with him. The only commonality was the music, and even then they didn’t experience it in the same way. To them it was a product; something packaged, shiny and complete. Whereas he birthed the damn stuff, taking lyrics either he or Spook had written and then scratching out the chords and rhythms that filled his head. He worked at it, transformed and nurtured it, until he had something good.
‘How far are we going?’ he asked, growing tired of the cold.
Ahead of them the car park formed a vast dark stain on the horizon, relieved only by the rainbow hues of oil-slicked puddles. Xane lifted his hand to his face to brush back his hair, whereupon streaks of kohl ran into the grooves between his fingers. ‘Where did you say you were parked?’
‘I didn’t.’ She gave him a tight smile. ‘It’s this way. I’m not in the main car park. It was full. I had to settle for a side street.’
He followed the clack of her heels for what felt like miles, while watching the sway of her butt. He’d lay money on her only dressing like this for special occasions. The clothes didn’t sit easily on her back. She was so knotted with tension she seemed in danger of snapping something. Her hemline especially was giving her issues. Her small hands constantly smoothed the cloth.
Jeans and T’s, he predicted as her usual attire. Maybe the occasional floral dress that turned her into a frump.
Xane almost fed her a corny line about how great she looked in order to get her to relax, and because even in his piss-poor mood he could acknowledge she was a knockout. The dark colours suited her peaches-and-cream complexion, while the tight cut emphasised her natural hourglass curves.
Of course, he also considered the possibility that he and not the outfit was the source of her distress. She wouldn’t be the first woman who’d landed lovely foul-mouthed him instead of kinkmeister Spook or everyone’s sweetheart, Paul.
He caught her looking back at the lights of the stadium and decided it was definitely a case of wrong-guy syndrome. Well, she was going to be doubly pissed off when she realised that not only had she landed the booby prize, but he wasn’t interested in making out. His only plan for the night was to get home and get blotto.
If that made him a bastard, then so be it.
At least he’d saved her from being screwed by Ash. Not that she’d ever thank him for it.
‘This is it.’ She stopped under a street lamp, part way along the sort of side road he’d think twice about traversing in daylight.
The wind chased the strands of her now dripping dark-brown hair across her face, giving her a solemn, slight ethereal look. She was different from the sort of girls who normally offered to take him places, but then she hadn’t actually offered, only gone along with what he’d suggested – so far.
‘This is yours?’ He’d expected her to drive a girly city runabout, not a bloody enormous sedan. Maybe she wasn’t quite as inexperienced as she looked. Her whole image might be a sham to lure guys in. Half a mile down the road, she’d probably transform into some vampire bitch queen and suck him dry.
No matter, he’d take that chance just to be away from here.
Xane settled himself into the passenger seat, from where he checked her out for fangs. No evidence of them: she had small, neat white teeth.
She nervously fussed, making multiple checks before turning on the ignition.
A powerful rumble filled the vehicle.
‘Sorry.’ She slapped a finger across the CD power button, cutting his death growl off midway through one of the band’s earliest tracks. ‘I’m sorry.’ She backed up the car and proceeded to perform the slowest turn out of a parking space he’d ever experienced, but then he was used to Rock Giant slaloming the tour bus as though it were an Aston Martin and not a converted double-decker.
‘Been driving long?’
‘Six months. How about you?’
‘I can, but I don’t very often.’
‘I don’t suppose there’s much need when you’ve people to ferry you about.’
Was that a dig? He thought it might be.
‘Where are we headed?’ she asked as they approached the first junction. ‘You’re staying at the Whyteleaf, right?’
Wrong. He might have a room booked there, but he’d never intended to occupy it. Not when he had a bolthole within an hour’s drive.
‘May I?’ He pulled his phone from his pocket and jacked it into the port on her dashboard. It was the work of moments to feed his postcode into the satnav app and have it start bleating instructions. The grating female voice made him want to cut off his ears, but it beat him having to give directions. All he wanted to do was switch off and forget.
‘Is that thing reliable?’ she asked, casting it a dubious glance. ‘It’s not likely to direct me into a ditch, or get me to do U-turns in the middle of the motorway?’
‘That’s where common sense comes in,’ he said, ticking a finger against his head. ‘You have some, right?’ Though evidently very little if she was prepared to put up with him.
‘Not sure.’ She cast him a dark look. ‘I just agreed to give a lift to a guy who looks like an axe-murderer.’
Chapter 5 (#ulink_d422d1f6-f05d-5301-8276-4d0fb1b9bb7c)
Dani tried to keep her eyes on the road, but her attention kept slipping sideward. Xane Geist was in her car.
Xane Geist, for Christ’s sake!
Insane.
She’d never imagined Ginny’s plan for them to meet the band would actually amount to anything. Of course, her friend would probably kill her the next time they met for running off with Xane. Dani rather wished her friend were here. Ginny would know what to do. Ginny wouldn’t have been driving at 50mph on the motorway because she was shit-scared of what came next. She’d probably have had the shirt off his back by now, and be well on the way to an orgasm.
Dani wasn’t nearly so bold. There’d been few men of any significance in her life. However, she knew enough about rock stars to guess where driving off with one was likely to go. The frightening bit being her apparent willingness to go along with it. She knew it wouldn’t mean anything to him. He probably had a different girl at each stop on the tour. For one night he’d get wicked with her, have his fun and then be on his way. Come morning, he probably wouldn’t even remember her name. Not that he knew her real name now.
Her experience would be very different. She’d remember tonight for ever, whatever happened. And there would be repercussions. She could already hear Sister Anna’s voice in her head pleading for her soul, like that batshit-crazy mom out of Carrie.
If the possibility of them discovering she’d attended the gig wasn’t bad enough – Black Halo were the devil’s own spawn – then confessing to sleeping with a band member would probably see her subjected to an exorcism.
She rubbed her right wrist against her thigh, and fought not to grimace over that very real possibility.
Dani sneaked a look at Xane, which instantly replaced her frown with a goofy grin. She still couldn’t believe it was him.
Xane was busy removing his cat’s-eye contact lenses. She’d always wondered what colour his eyes really were. She guessed she’d finally find out.
He turned, and caught her staring. Amusement flickered at the centre of two storm-grey eyes.
Dani hastily turned away.
‘Do you have any water?’
‘Um, yeah. In the footwell behind you. I don’t know if you’ll be able to reach.’ They both stretched to get it at the same time, bringing them into unexpectedly close contact. For a split second, his lips were level with hers and a mere inch away.
And, oh, my God, her libido abruptly revved up and started painting lewd pictures of what she’d like to do to the guy across the inside of her brain; like kissing him for starters, and tasting those crooked devil’s lips. Maybe peeling his clothes off or digging her fingernails into the pert cheeks of his butt.
Xane flicked the tip of his tongue against the ring in his lip. ‘Road,’ he reminded her. ‘I got it.’ He leaned back against the headrest, holding the bottle.
Yeah, road! She jerked upright in time to avoid drifting into the traffic occupying the middle lane. One guy beeped her, so Xane gave him the finger.
OK. She needed to concentrate. She didn’t want to be known as the girl who killed Xane Geist.
Xane popped the cap off the bottle and took a swig. He pulled a blister pack of pills from his jacket pocket and pressed out two white tabs.
‘Hey!’ she objected, as they went into his mouth, followed by another slug of water. ‘What are you doing? What are you taking?’
‘Calm down, Mum,’ he retaliated. ‘It’s legal. Here.’ He chucked the blister strip onto her lap. ‘There, you can check ’em out for yourself, make sure I’m being a good boy.’
Somehow, Dani managed to convince her fingers to uncurl from around the steering wheel to allow her to pick up the packet. ‘What is this?’ An unfamiliar brand name was embossed on the foil. ‘Are they painkillers or something?’
‘Nap time,’ he explained with a shrug and a yawn. He turned partly away from her and sank deeper into the seat with his knees drawn up. ‘Prod me when we arrive.’
‘You’re – you’re going to sleep?’ How far was he expecting her to drive?
‘Shh, don’t talk. I need to switch off.’
OK. This was one weird-ass evening. It certainly didn’t conform to any of her rock-star fantasies, which primarily involved lush beaches and eating canapés with champagne at midnight.
Maybe the backstage pass was to blame. If Xane believed her to be a member of staff, that would explain the arrogant assumption that she was available to ferry him home.
Damn, she thought, biting her lip. She’d never expected him to love her, but now she had him within her grasp, she’d hoped the whole lust thing would at least be mutual. So far, it really didn’t look as if that were so.
Chapter 6 (#ulink_66f1e90a-c3f1-5024-95fd-fb21d20e7627)
‘You have reached your destination.’
Dani cut the engine, thankful that the whiny woman had bleated her last. She unbuckled her seatbelt before turning to Xane, who hadn’t moved for the last forty minutes. He faced the door, with his knees drawn up towards his body. A shroud of black hair masked what little she could see of his profile.
Lucky for him Dani wasn’t the sort to molest a sleeping man. That was assuming he was actually asleep and not merely avoiding conversation.
Based on the fact he’d taken pills to switch off, she generously supposed the former.
Actually, thinking on those lines, it seemed a shame to wake him. Maybe exhaustion accounted for the gig being cut short, although that didn’t explain Ash Gore’s remarks as they’d left. It sounded as though the band had had a bust-up. She hoped it wasn’t serious.
Dani tentatively prodded Xane’s shoulder, hardly daring to make physical contact with him, half convinced the resulting feedback would zap through her synapses causing her to spontaneously combust. He didn’t stir, not even to grunt.
‘Xane.’ Dani risked a second jab into his shoulder. This time he yawned and stretched, so that the muscles flexed beneath his shirt, reinvigorating Dani’s pulse. Would he freak, she wondered, if she leaned over and licked the back of his neck?
What was she doing even contemplating such an act?
‘We’re here. I think.’
Xane glanced at his phone, which currently displayed an image of their current location, overlaid with the words ‘Destination Reached’.
‘Back up, and swing us round. Then take the first left. It’s just behind the rise.’
‘All right.’ Good to know their destination wasn’t actually a field. Dani restarted the car and followed his instructions.
Xane unplugged his phone from the car charger. ‘Now, turn in here. Just pull up in front of the house.’
‘House’? If you were being super-kind, maybe. The building she drew alongside could more accurately be described as a brick shed. Weren’t rock stars supposed to own swish penthouses, not ten-by-ten cattle barns?
‘What is this place?
Xane mumbled something that might have been ‘bolthole’ as he clambered out of the car.
Dani tentatively climbed out too. The night wind whipped across the open countryside and nipped her bare arms. Mud underfoot sucked at her shoes. Only the sight of Xane leaping about beneath the orange glow of the security light convinced her not to get straight back into the car.
‘Keys,’ he muttered, before launching himself towards the eaves again. His T-shirt rose as he stretched, giving her a tantalising glimpse of his torso. No doubt about it, Xane hit the gym on a regular basis. He was ripped to perfection, the muscles clearly defined. Rather intriguingly, a faint trace of hair led down from his navel, under the waistband of his leathers, and probably all the way to his loins.
OK, she was not pursuing that thought. Thinking about the package he had hidden there only raised her blood pressure.
‘Gotcha!’ Xane finally snagged the key from its hidden hook. He blew off the cobwebs before applying it to the lock.
‘Come in if you dare,’ he remarked before stepping inside, leaving her alone in the dark.
She wasn’t sure if that was a challenge or merely an invitation. Either way, she accepted.
Besides, it wasn’t as if he was welcoming her to a vampire dungeon. At worst, this would turn out to be his shagging shack, home to two thousand scented candles, an iron rack and an oversized four-poster bed. And crossing the threshold would automatically grant him licence to debauch her in whatever manner he fancied. That didn’t seem so bad, although she intended to have a nice long chat with him before any shagging took place.
If any shagging took place.
Gah – why did her brain fog up at the mere thought of him naked?
A light flickered on inside the building. Dani squelched forward onto the raised porch. She kicked off her shoes before entering.
Curiously, the interior didn’t reek of incense, nor were the walls painted black. There was no rack, or iron maiden, and no cobwebby alcoves harbouring human skulls.
A single twisted ironwork candelabrum was the only significant nod to the gothic horror genre, otherwise the place looked more like a forester’s hut, all reclaimed wood and earth tones. Maybe he hadn’t been clear on his vision when he’d spoken to the designer, or hadn’t owned the place very long.
A collection of photographic prints covered the back wall of the single-roomed building. Dani wandered over to take a closer look. The images more than made up for the general lack of demonic accoutrements. Goth porn, she supposed you’d call them: all blood, skulls and depravity.
She turned away quickly as heat infused her cheeks. It seemed Xane enjoyed some pretty extreme stuff.
‘My cousin’s a photographer,’ Xane explained, confirming her suspicion the images were of him.
He was leaning against an age-blackened cabinet. The jacket and the collar he’d worn around his neck now lay in a heap beside him. ‘I commissioned those as a photo-book accompaniment to our second album. Sadly the record company vetoed the lot – something about them being pornographic, and it being bad practice for me to get my kit off if we wanted to be taken seriously. Of course, it would have been a different story if I’d been a girl.’ He scowled. ‘Anyway, enjoy. I think my cock’s out in most of them.’
‘What makes you think I want to see it?’
Oh, God, she sounded so prudish. Ginny would laugh. Her friend would have made a detailed study of every image and then insisted on a real life comparison, and would probably have taken a few extra snaps of her own.
Xane did laugh, be it somewhat humourlessly. ‘Oh, right! You mean you’re here to enjoy my riveting company and not so that I can bang you into oblivion?’
Dani planted her hands on her hips. ‘I’m not easy.’ None of this had been her idea. Yeah, she was attracted to him, but he was being exceptionally obnoxious making such assumptions and she was tempted to call him a dick. The Xane in her head wasn’t nearly so crass. He was a gentleman, even if he looked like a scary beast. Sadly, reality wasn’t quite matching up. ‘You wanted a lift,’ she reminded him. ‘I drove you. We never discussed anything else.’ He probably didn’t need to. Likely enough he took it as read that if he went home with a girl, he’d pulled.
‘Yeah – and why is it you did that, if you’re not interested in my ass?’ He turned slightly, and probably deliberately, so that he presented her with a damn good view of his rear inside his black leather jeans. Now he was plain teasing her in addition to being an ass. And was it really necessary for him to sound so scathing?
‘What would I do with it?’
She’d curl her fingers into it. Squeeze all that tight, firm muscle, that’s what. And then maybe lick him for good measure.
‘I’m sure I can’t imagine.’ Xane eyed her thoughtfully from over his shoulder. ‘Well, now,’ he said, his tone softening. ‘If you’re really not interested, that makes you a whole lot more interesting.’ He rubbed his lower jaw, smearing the remains of the make-up the rain had already wrecked. ‘Are you staying for a drink?’
Given that her heart had already suffered one too many shocks, she’d gratefully accept a nice cup of tea.
Xane reached up and cracked open a cupboard. When he again turned to face her, he was clutching a bottle of vodka by the neck. ‘Just so you know. I intend to get completely wankered.’ He waved the bottle in her direction, before gesturing to the sofa to indicate she should sit.
Dani frowned.
One glass of vodka would get her tipsy; two would likely have her flat on her back with her thighs apart. With the exception of an occasional glass of wine with a meal, she was virtually teetotal.
Meanwhile, Xane knocked back several shots. After the fourth or fifth, when she still hadn’t replied, he poured another and offered it to her.
Dani closed her hand around the glass, already anticipating fire in her throat and Xane inside of her. The vision was so real she gave an actual gasp, as the flesh between her thighs became warm and damp.
Everything ached.
Xane smirked. ‘And that’s before you swallow.’
Dani shot him an angry glance.
He raised his hands in surrender. ‘I’m just saying, maybe you shouldn’t be on the hard stuff.’
Still vexed, Dani gulped a mouthful of vodka. The fluid ignited her taste buds, burned as it flowed down her throat bringing tears to her eyes. No matter, she refused to let them fall. ‘Don’t you have any mixers?’
Xane groped around in the cupboard and produced a bottle of cola. ‘This do? Say when.’
She gripped the glass tightly with both hands to keep it steady as he poured. Of course, he had to come closer to do so. Close enough that he was at least partially in her space, and wafting his delicious scent in her direction. It raised the hairs on the back of her neck, while further excitement pulsed between her thighs. If he touched her again, as he’d done earlier, she’d probably pass out – that or crack the goddamned glass with her grip.
‘So, Sally.’ Xane reached out, and claimed the all-access pass from around her neck. After a swift glance, he cast it into the wastepaper basket. ‘Who are you really? Give me a name. I like to know who I’m talking to.’
So he knew the pass was stolen. The realisation that she’d been caught sobered her a moment. It was hardly a surprise. Of course Xane knew his own staff. Regardless, Dani contemplated maintaining the façade. Given that Sally Kettering hung out with the band, she was probably a whole lot worldlier than Dani, and more assertive too. Sally had probably slept with most of the band three times over and didn’t see anything wrong with that. She was free, like Xane, and like Ginny. Not hung up on morality and what people thought of her, nor so scared of what might happen that she was figuring out a host of different excuses for why she might have to leave at short notice.
‘You know she has a moustache, don’t you?’
Dani blinked at him in surprise. She’d never got a proper glimpse of Sally before the theft. All she remembered was a woman in black, a description which probably described three-quarters of the women at the gig.
Xane shook his head. ‘She doesn’t really. I just made that up. She’s got at least ten years on you, though. What are you, about eighteen?’
‘Twenty,’ she replied indignantly. ‘And I’m Daniella … Dani.’ Out of habit she stuck out her hand for him to shake.
‘Hi, Daniella.’ Xane accepted her hand. His grip was pleasantly firm, although the bite of his numerous claw rings made it faintly disturbing. ‘I’m –’
‘– Xane Geist,’ she finished for him. ‘Lead singer and mastermind behind Black Halo.’
A flash of something – not appreciation, pain perhaps – swept across the surface of his eyes. He blinked, and it was gone. ‘– Alex. My real name is Alexander.’
She’d read that in an interview. ‘So do I call you Xane or Alex?’
‘Whichever.’ He released her hand. ‘I can’t say that I much care for either at the minute. Call me what the hell you like. Dickhead, was it, you were thinking a minute ago?’
‘I’ll stick with Xane.’ It’s what popped into her head complete with an exclamation mark every time she looked at him. How could one man be so bloody scrumptious? Despite him sitting close enough to touch her, he still seemed a fraction unreal.
‘Um, aren’t your claws kind of uncomfortable?’
Xane looked at the rings, as though he barely remembered he was wearing them. ‘Most girls like them.’
‘Why? Don’t they scratch?’
He gave her a significant look. ‘I think that’s the point.’
‘You wear a lot of jewellery.’
‘Yup.’ He began stripping it off. Claw rings first. He dropped them with a thunka-thunk onto the coffee table. Numerous leather wrist straps followed. That left a stud through his tongue, in addition to the lip ring, and hoops in his ears and through one eyebrow. His throat lay surprisingly bare, now he’d removed the collar.
‘So, Dani – if you’re not here to shag me, what are you here for?’
Dani opened her mouth to begin, but Xane cut her off.
‘And don’t mention the lift again. You were hanging out backstage with a stolen pass around your neck. So you were there for a reason. Were you after one of the other guys?’
‘No.’
Xane eyed her cautiously. ‘Journalist? If you’re a journalist, I’m going to kick your butt out of here.’ He slammed his empty glass down on the table, making Dani jump.
‘I’m not a journalist.’ She shrank back against the sofa. Would anyone admit to being, after that threat? ‘I was backstage because of my friend Ginny. She really wanted to meet you guys. She got us into your dressing room, but I wanted to watch the gig, so I left her there and … and then I walked into you.’
‘I see.’ Xane dispensed with his glass in favour of swigging straight from the bottle. ‘So, you left your mate in my dressing room. Isn’t she going to wonder where you’ve gone?’
‘Um … probably not. I mean, no. We arranged to meet back at our hotel.’
‘But you’re not at your hotel.’
Yes, she had actually noticed that.
‘I doubt she is either. If she’s met one of your band mates, then she’ll probably be a while, right?’
Xane gave a half-hearted little shrug. ‘Is she hot?’
‘Um, I guess so.’ Dani got out her phone, thinking maybe she ought to call Ginny anyway, just in case she had arrived at the hotel and was wondering where she’d got to.
‘Don’t,’ Xane advised. ‘Ash’ll be shagging her.’
‘He might not be.’
Xane shook his head. ‘No, really, he will be. She’s wearing a short skirt, right? She’s in our dressing room, and she’s not like you. He’s probably had her forwards, backwards and is working on upside down by now.’
She couldn’t help laughing at the notion. ‘Does he have a set routine, then, for giving girls … what they want?’
‘How would I know? I’m a bloke.’
Good point.
‘Could I have a cup of tea, please?’
He shook his head. ‘No teabags.’
‘Oh! OK!’
‘Nip out and get some, if you like.’
‘Are you asking me to leave?’
‘Didn’t say that, did I? Stay if you want. I figure, at least if you’re here I won’t be found dead tomorrow face down in a pool of my own vomit.’
‘Oh!’ Dani shuffled forward to the edge of her seat in alarm. Was that likely? Given the way he was knocking back vodka as though it were spring water, maybe it was, and perhaps a supply run wasn’t such a bad idea. He was going to need a boat-load of painkillers in the morning. ‘Shouldn’t you slow down?’
‘I told you my aim was to get wankered.’
Why did he need to?
‘I know, but if you continue to gulp spirits like that you’re going to hurt your throat. Think of your tour dates. You’re going to disappoint a lot of people if you can’t sing.’
‘I disappoint a lot of people even when I do.’ A dark shadow swept across his face. Even through the make-up she recognised the tightening around his eyes. The set of his mouth turned particularly sour.
‘Did something happen?’ she asked. ‘I mean on stage. ’Cause the gig ended early, didn’t it?’
There was no way Black Halo had been on stage more than twenty minutes. What was that – four songs, maybe? Also, she knew enough about bands to realise they hung out together post show, talked to the fans, that sort of stuff. Xane had whisked her out of the building as fast as possible. He hadn’t even gone back to the dressing room. But it was the conversation with Ash on the way out that was the real giveaway.
‘Yeah, it ended early.’
She waited patiently a moment for Xane to elaborate, but he had his mouth glued around the bottle top again.
‘Want to talk about it? Did someone muck things up? Fry your sound boards, or something?’
Xane spluttered vodka over his lap and the nearby furnishings. ‘You think I’m swilling this muck because of a blown amp?’
‘I don’t know.’ She folded her hands into her lap. ‘I guess not. What did happen, then?’
‘We split up. It’s over. Black Halo are no more.’ He stood and gave a theatrical bow, though it was obvious his mockery was a mask.
‘No.’ Dani shook her head, praying that if she denied it then it wouldn’t be real. But his speedy getaway, not wanting to speak to Ash, and now the vodka – it all added up. So did the soul-deep hurt swimming in his eyes.
‘Dead. Dead. Dead,’ he reiterated, as if he were stabbing the remains just to make sure.
Still, for a moment her brain refused to process the message. Then her stomach lurched. The vodka she’d swallowed burned a second time as it clawed its way back up her throat. She didn’t vomit, but a cold sort of emptiness filled her chest, making it painful to fill her lungs. It couldn’t … it couldn’t be. Why would they split? They were doing so well. Their popularity and fan base grew with each successive album. She couldn’t quite make herself ask him the reason. Everyone knew he was the band’s driving force, and that he lived and breathed it. It was that passion, his dedication, which had made Black Halo into the global success story they were.
‘You’re lying,’ she said clutching at straws.
‘No.’ His lips pursed tight.
The blood drained from Dani’s face. The room swirled.
‘Hey!’ Xane nudged her shoulder. ‘I thought I was the one who got to be melodramatic about it.’ When she didn’t respond, didn’t even look at him, he leaned closer still, with his eyebrows quirked upwards. ‘It’s my band. My life that’s gone to hell. That means I’m the one who gets to have a breakdown, not you.’
Chapter 7 (#ulink_948c092f-3c28-5b2d-8255-d791e725d087)
‘No, no, no!’ Dani refused to believe that Black Halo had split, on stage. That was mega! Not some little tiff over artistic differences that would be mended in a couple of days.
‘Are you going into shock?’ Xane worried the ring in his lip. ‘Shit! You are.’ He dropped the vodka bottle in order to catch her. ‘Sit down. No. Lie down.’ He forced her onto her back along the length of the leather sofa. ‘Christ! Chill out, woman.’
Dani did feel odd, sort of hollow and prickly. Not numb though. Numb would have been preferable.
Xane swayed in and out of her field of vision. ‘Hey, it’s not that fucking big a deal. It’s just a band.’
Except she knew from the way he said it that he didn’t believe that any more than she did. It wasn’t just a band. It was his life.
‘Just don’t pass out, OK?’ He lifted her legs so that her feet rested on the sofa arm.
She didn’t want to keep still. This was a major deal. If the media had picked up on the story, the group’s demise had probably already been reported on the late-night news. Music journalists would be picking over the carcass, interviewing anyone available for their opinions. This couldn’t be. Other bands split up, but Black Halo was a constant. The only constant in her world that wasn’t associated with effing St Agatha’s.
‘You’ll re-form,’ she managed to croak. Tears were beginning to gather in her eyes. Soon enough they’d spill, and then she wasn’t sure she’d be able to stop them.
Xane shook his head. ‘No.’
Why did he have to be so blunt – so bloody honest? Couldn’t he at least pretend it was an option?
‘I ought to have known something would go wrong with this evening. I couldn’t experience an ordinary trip out to a gig to see my favourite band. Oh, no, I get punished for it. Anyone else that meets you gets their shirt signed. I get … I get … this!’ She threw her arms wide for emphasis. It wasn’t fair. Didn’t he realise that he was breaking her heart. Black Halo were her lifeline – the little bit of rebellion that made everything else, all the shit she endured, more palatable.
She began to hyperventilate.
‘Stop it,’ Xane growled. ‘I mean it. Really, fucking stop it. You’re scaring the shit out of me, lady. And I don’t let anyone scare the shit out of me.’ He was big enough and menacing enough for her to believe that. Given his six foot two frame, she doubted anyone had ever managed to truly cow him. He’d laugh off Sister Anna’s threats.
And it wasn’t that she was trying to be dramatic. She just couldn’t deal …
‘Goddammit. I was hoping we didn’t need to do this.’ Xane kissed her square on the lips. Not a peck, or anything soft, but a full-on smacker of a kiss.
He tasted of alcohol and sin and … whoa!
‘There, does that help?’
How in God’s name was that supposed to help? Now she had no breath left in her body, and her heart didn’t know what to do. It stuttered, trying to decide between triple time and cardiac arrest.
‘Again?’ Bastard smiled grimly at her, showing off his crooked demon’s teeth.
He didn’t wait for an answer, which was lucky, because she couldn’t have formed one. He just dived right in and did it, like it was no big deal to be kissing a woman he hardly knew in order to save her from passing out. Although she suspected that more often he caused women to faint.
Damn, he tasted good, of peppermint and fire; much nicer than the starched linen of her pillowcase, which had so often stood in his stead.
Xane’s fingers slid across her cheek and into her hair.
Dani closed her eyes and arched towards him. Mm, yes, that was nice. Not so shocking this time. Her brain was functioning well enough to treasure the brush of his lips against hers, and acknowledge the odd pressure of his lip ring. She responded too. Not with fire, but with total submission. She let him have his way. Let him stamp his mark on her.
Her body went limp. Her mouth opened, allowing him to slide his tongue inside. No one had ever really kissed her like this before. She’d never desired them to. Normally, kissing seemed quite messy and silly, a bit slobbery and gross.
Xane rewrote the experience as a new and fabulous thing, possessed of subtleties and glorious sensuality. He led her in a merry breathless dance, their tongues duelling for long precious moments.
Xane held himself above her, his body stretched out, though she couldn’t recall him taking that position. He just seemed to arrive, and it felt right.
Not that they were touching anywhere save their lips and where his hand cupped her head.
When he finally pulled away, Dani looked up at him with her mouth open. She wanted more. No pretences. He could sink right down onto her – into her, even, maybe … Her gaze strayed along the length of his body, taking in the tautly drawn muscles that she longed to explore.
What if she actually put her hands on him? Touched the firm stretch of skin between his belly button and the top of his fly? Something about that part of a man fascinated her.
Xane was breathing hard. His gaze locked upon her face. ‘Getting ideas?’ His lip curled slightly as he spoke. ‘Suppose I should be thankful you’re not about to expire any more.’
‘I wasn’t going to.’ She pushed at his shoulder, suddenly aware of how close they were.
‘Good. I don’t need any more drama.’
‘You didn’t have to do anything. I’d have been all right. It was just a shock.’
‘Yeah, right!’ He crossed his arm defensively, which rather suggested he didn’t believe her.
Dani couldn’t work him out. A few minutes ago he’d been annoyed over the fact that she might desire him, and now he seemed riled that he’d kissed her – but she hadn’t initiated it, and she wasn’t pressing him for more, quite the opposite, because she was scared stiff of where more would lead to.
They stared at one other uncomfortably until Xane lowered his head as if he meant to kiss her again, causing her to gasp. But he rolled off the sofa instead.
‘Stay there. I’ll fetch you a blanket.’
Dani sat up. ‘I don’t need a blanket.’ She was calm now. Well, OK, not exactly calm. Her heart rate had at least doubled in the last five minutes, but she wasn’t feeling quite so traumatised.
‘I’ll get one anyway.’ He hurried away, leaving her even more confused. Only by following Xane’s movement did she realise the cottage had another floor, accessed by a stairwell set into the wall behind the front door.
Xane returned more quickly than she’d anticipated, carrying a duvet he must have snatched straight off his bed.
‘This isn’t necessary,’ she protested, as he swaddled her in cloth.
‘Lady, you nearly passed out a minute ago. Maybe you’d like to explain what that was about? And maybe you’d like to tell me your surname before I have to accompany you to A&E.’
Dani chewed her lip. OK, maybe her reaction had been a little over the top, but he’d taken her by surprise. ‘You’ve got me through some bad times,’ she said, feeling her eyes fill up. ‘It’s hard to hear you won’t be around in the future.’
‘I’m not dead.’ Xane cleared his throat. ‘I didn’t say I was going to stop making music, just that the band’s defunct.’
Yes, but was it even possible for him to go it alone? The metal genre consisted of bands, not solo artists. Xane Geist belonged in a rock band. And that band had to be Black Halo, because when it came down to it, it wasn’t only Xane who made up the group. Ash, Spook, Rock Giant, Elspeth, even Steve Matlock on drums, they all had their roles to play. It was their combined influences that made the band. Wasn’t it?
‘Will you speak to Ash tomorrow?’ she asked, recalling the lead guitarist’s attempt, when they were leaving the arena, to set a timetable for negotiation. Not that she’d understood at the time that’s what it was.
‘No.’
‘Why not? He might have a plan to get you through this.’
‘He won’t.’
‘But how do you know if you haven’t talked …’ She stopped, Xane wasn’t listening, and he’d returned to the bottle. Only a small dribble remained in the bottom, most of the contents having spilled onto the floor. He stared morosely at the dregs, then swallowed them.
‘You know getting plastered isn’t going to help. You need a clear head to patch things up.’
‘And you need a hearing test. It’s over. And you still haven’t given me a surname.’
‘It’s Fosbrook, OK, and I’m not about to pass out.’
‘Next of kin?’
Dani shook her head. No. They weren’t going there. Xane was never, ever, ever meeting her mum, talking to her mum or getting anywhere near anyone who could be vaguely construed as her family. If something happened to her while she was with him, then it was better they weren’t informed.
You’ve kissed the devil, Dani. You’ll have to atone.
She quickly shut out the voice of Sister Anna in her head.
She hadn’t kissed the devil, only a man. And really he’d kissed her. She hadn’t initiated anything. They couldn’t chastise her for that. It was totally in the spirit of St Agatha. She’d been passive and meek.
But you enjoyed him kissing you. You want him to do it again. Admit it, you little whore, you’re dying for him to take off your shirt, fondle your breasts and pull down your knickers. You want him to shove his great big dick inside you. You’re turned on just by the idea of looking at it. That’s why you keep sneaking glances at those photographs.
Not to mention the ones she was stealing at his crotch. He might have an overly high opinion of himself and a sucky attitude, but, whether he understood it or not, he’d seen her through many lonely nights. Perhaps it was only fair that she saw him through this one in return.
‘I’ll sleep on the couch,’ she announced.
‘Will you now? I don’t remember offering.’
‘You just handed me a duvet.’
‘I’ll be needing that back on my bed. Maybe that’s what you’re angling for.’
‘No.’ She pushed herself into the corner of the sofa away from his glorious body and his heady scent, fighting the near irresistible urge to say ‘yes’ and jump right on top of him. ‘I’ll be fine here.’
‘I’m not fine,’ he said as though he didn’t expect anyone to acknowledge he’d spoken. For a moment, his mask slipped and she saw right into his heart, knew his pain, recognised him as the man who’d written all those lyrics that made so much sense to her.
Taking a deep breath, she asked, ‘Why have you split up?’ Maybe if he shared the problem it wouldn’t seem so insurmountable.
‘It doesn’t matter,’ Xane huffed, shaking his head. He chucked the empty vodka bottle in the direction of the waste bin. It missed and rolled back towards him, so he kicked it under the sofa. ‘It’s just how it is. Everything has to end sometime. Now’s that time for Black Halo.’
She didn’t buy his attempt at being philosophical.
‘But something must have caused it. Maybe if you told me what it was I could …’
Xane’s jaw locked so rigidly she could see the tick of his pulse beating beneath the skin.
OK, scratch that idea. He wasn’t going to get into the nitty-gritty of why he’d taken a machete to her dream band, because – and she had to remind herself of this fact – they weren’t actually friends. Xane didn’t know her from any of the other countless women who fought their way backstage on a nightly basis to meet him. The nights they’d spent together supporting one another through untold woes were fantasies, nothing more.
Contrary to what Ginny believed, and what Xane himself had assumed, Dani’s primary fantasy about him didn’t involve sex, although she wasn’t entire guilt-free in that department. Certainly, if he kissed her again she’d probably make a complete twit of herself, by not being able to keep her hands off him, thus destroying the façade that she wasn’t interested in screwing his pants off.
Primarily, Xane was her silent guardian. The person she spoke to in the dark when she was alone. Xane was the one who understood her pain. When he sang, he expressed all the things she couldn’t: her fears, her stolen childhood, the hollow ache left behind by her father’s departure. Xane held her hand and chased the monsters away.
One could hardly blame them for running. He was pretty scary in all his stage paint. Even now, when he was so obviously hurting, his shocking visage still had the power to scare the beejeezus out of somebody.
‘Should I phone someone for you? Maybe if you had a close friend come over, they’d be more help.’
‘I don’t have any close friends. I spend all my time with the band.’
‘OK.’ It looked as if it was her or nothing. She lifted one corner of the duvet, inviting him in. If he refused to communicate, maybe they could sit in companionable silence. They didn’t have to talk, or drink or kiss. They could simply be here together for a while. ‘How about we forget the band for a while. Why don’t you tell me what you’re feeling instead? And why you’re so chewed up inside.’
Xane contemplated her invitation without moving. He stared at her as if he wasn’t convinced she was real. After a long, uncomfortable pause he asked, ‘Do you know what it’s like to have to give something up because it’s so bad for you it’s destroying you? Has anyone betrayed you like that? Someone you thought you could trust? Someone you really loved?’
‘Yes,’ she admitted. Yes to all of it.
They way he looked at her with those pale-grey eyes, like he could see right into her, made her feel horribly exposed, but she endured it, and fought the urge to clam up.
‘I’m not suggesting what we’ve been through is the same, but you’re like me – you’re hurt in the same way. You’re tearing yourself apart trying to please people, while utterly failing to please yourself. It’s all in your lyrics. That’s why I liked you.’
She’d said it now, everything she’d ever really wanted to say to him. Admitted it all, and there was no way of taking it back.
‘I see,’ he said, biting his knuckles. He turned away.
‘Xane,’ she said tremulously.
He froze with his shoulders hunched. Very slowly, he looked back at her. ‘I need a shower. And to wash this crap off my face.’
Dani caught hold of his hand. ‘I like it, even if it’s smudged.’
His fingers curled against hers and briefly squeezed tight. She thought he was saying thank you, until she looked up and realised he was swaying and was probably just holding on for support.
‘Are you going to manage?’
‘Don’t know. Are you offering to give me a hand?’
Somehow, she didn’t think he meant with the taps. Immediately she released her grip, pulled both her hands under the duvet and tucked them under her bottom. ‘Probably best if I don’t. You said yourself, you’re not interested in being jumped.’
‘What if I’ve changed my mind?’
‘You haven’t.’ He was just feeling lonely and he was drunk.
‘Why’d I kiss you then?’
‘Because you were being kind. Kissing me was nicer than slapping me as a reminder to pull myself together.’ If he really wanted her, he’d remember that in the morning.
‘I only slap women’s bottoms,’ he remarked absently.
Even though she didn’t think he meant anything by it, the notion still left her feeling strangely tingly. Not that she found anything remotely erotic about punishment.
‘Are you sure you don’t want to get dirty with me?’
‘I thought the idea of washing was to get clean.’
A brief, wan smile stretched his lips. He turned and walked back to the stairs, only fractionally unsteady on his feet. ‘You’ll come if I holler, right? In case I slip over.’
‘I’m sure you’ll be fine.’
‘But if I’m not, you’ll come, won’t you, Dani? It probably won’t look good if I smash my head open in the shower the same night the group split.’
‘I’ll come,’ she promised, and sincerely hoped he wasn’t going to cry wolf. Seeing him naked would probably fry what few brain cells she had left.
Chapter 8 (#ulink_8b335ddf-f37e-5feb-b393-810bb3f455e8)
Xane staggered downstairs.
What the hell had happened? A short while ago, he’d been ready to swear off love for ever. He intended to lock himself in a darkened room, get blind drunk, pass out on the floor and not wake up until Thursday. Instead, there was a pleasant buzz in his veins that had very little to do with alcohol and far more to do with the girl on his sofa.
Talk about being confused.
It was probably just his battered heart looking for something, anything, to cling to; being worshipped by a pretty girl sure beat being lonely. And Dani wasn’t like the chicks that normally sneaked backstage to accost him. All they ever seemed to want was to strip him bare and use him as a life-sized masturbation aid. The fact that he was a person, with a past and a future, with opinions and sensibilities, entirely passed them by. Most of them didn’t even care which member of the band they were with. They just wanted a rock star. And, with the exception of the odd one who wanted him to sing while she went down on him, they didn’t give a fig about his music.
Not only had Dani opted to keep her clothes on, he’d also lay money on her being intimately acquainted with every word, every chord and riff that he’d ever released. Also, she seemed to see through his guise to the real him.
Maybe that’s why he was intrigued. She was right; he did pour everything into his music.
Of course, he’d spoilt things by attempting to get physical with her. He’d blame the alcohol, but actually some habits just died hard.
Not that he’d meant to kiss her. He’d … well, he’d panicked, and did what he always did, opened his mouth when he ought to have kept it closed. Even that oughtn’t to have led to anything – but the taste of her had got to him, all sweetness and innocence. He’d felt her apprehension, even as her excitement took over, and then he couldn’t stop himself. His heart might be bruised beyond recognition, and his head knew exactly how bad one-night stands were for his soul, but neither had apparently informed his cock of that fact, hence the growing wedge in his pants that was making it difficult to walk. All of which left him with a hard on and nowhere to put it.
No big surprise there either, since he’d been acting like a Grade A prick from the moment he and Dani met: accosting her, using her as a taxi cab and then lumping her in with Black Halo’s usual class of groupies. It was a miracle she hadn’t slapped him yet, and no surprise at all that she wasn’t interested in servicing his ache. It wouldn’t surprise him if she slipped into the night while he was down here, and drove home.
He’d have to applaud her good sense if she did, right after he’d lamented not grabbing her number. He paused, hands braced against either side of the narrow stairwell. Maybe he ought to get that now, except it’d make him look even more of a dick. Better to stick to plan A and clean himself up.
Xane misjudged the bottom step and landed on his arse. God, he was a mess. A stinking, fucked-up mess. And a fool too for thinking that alcohol might right everything. Alcohol had never worked for him for blotting out pain. It only added to it. If he’d really wanted to lose himself for the night, he ought to have lurched back to the hotel with Ash and double-dipped with whoever his lead guitarist had managed to pick up en route. They could have made one gloriously long and sordid night of it, and he wouldn’t once have thought about Steve, or Elspeth, or the band, or been tempted to prod his heart to see if it hurt.
It always fucking hurt! That’s what unrequited love did to you.
Nor would he be stuck in purgatory with a girl he fancied but who wasn’t going to spread her thighs on command.
He actually liked her for that.
Besides, sleeping with her because his day had been shit, and he felt like shit, and she was the only thing around in his life at the moment that didn’t start with ‘S’ and end with ‘it’, wasn’t a great plan. It’d render the act and both of them cheap.
But then, he was pretty cheap. Much as he liked to kid otherwise. Ash might be known as the Black Halo playboy, but Xane had enjoyed easily as many partners.
‘You’re screwed up, mate.’ He gurned at his reflection in the mirror. His stage face was smeared all over the place, and he’d already taken his contact lenses out, so the real him was creeping through the cracks. ‘Shower,’ he ordered himself. Then, if he was sensible, he’d crash out and leave that poor girl upstairs alone. It wasn’t like screwing her was going to mend the gaping hole in his chest. Just because she’d shown him a bit of empathy, a little compassion, didn’t mean she could fix anything.
Stripped naked, Xane stepped under the shower-head. For several minutes he let the water run over his tired limbs. Make-up washed away, the kohl leaving black tracks across his body. Only once his mask had flowed down the drain did he let his hand stray towards his remarkably stubborn erection.
Damn thing wanted some action, same as it always did when his emotions took a nosedive. Considering the years he’d spent conditioning it to do just that, he could hardly complain. Sex had always been a nice easy way of blotting out reality. He blotted out a lot of reality.
Yup, he definitely ought to have made a night of it with Ash. Pointless pleasure; his body knew all about that, even if it didn’t seem entirely right to be turned on after everything that had happened.
Xane closed his eyes tight and rewound the last ten minutes. He imagined he was back upstairs, stretched out above Dani on the sofa. Better that than dwelling on the lover he’d lost.
That kiss had seared him with its heat, but the lady had been in shock, so he’d refrained from getting gropey. Only now she was staring at him with her plump lips parted and her breathing unsteady. Desire filled her eyes. Yet she wasn’t the sort to make the first move.
‘Do it,’ he silently commanded. ‘Reach out and take what you want.’
Perhaps she heard him. Perhaps some other influence guided her hand, for she reached out to him, first touching his face, then his neck.
Xane braced one hand against the glass wall to maintain his balance, and then let his other hand wander. Each tentative caress, he imagined Dani making. She remained timid, but he liked her caution. She seemed eager to explore his body and to discover its secrets, rather than immediately zeroing in on his cock as though it were his only erogenous zone like most of the other lovers he’d known.
Her fingers lightly stroked the side of his throat. ‘Yes,’ he murmured in approval. His neck had always been sensitive. He could get off from being touched there alone. OK, from slightly more than a touch. He liked to be bitten, but even feather-light kisses were enough to make him tremble.
Her attention didn’t linger there. It swept downwards, encompassing his collarbone and shoulders, then the smooth expanse of his chest. She circled his nipples. Even wet them with her little pink tongue.
His nipples weren’t as sensitive as his neck, but no matter. Simply having her touching him was good.
Xane’s breath truly hitched when her exploration strayed just shy of his loins.
Oh, God, yes! he almost shouted.
Instead, he folded his palm around his erection. A few swipes of his thumb, and he was one hundred per cent ready for action. It sucked so much blood out of his brain, he actually felt woozy. Still, he had no worries about his ability to perform. He was ready to give her everything she wanted, and a few things she hadn’t realised she wanted yet.
Xane wanted to feel the puffs of her breath against his cheeks and hear the sharpness of her cries as she gave herself up to him. With her soft curves clinging to him, he could forget about the band and everything else. He could sink into the moment, exist for a time in a realm where there was nothing but pleasure.
However, Dani wasn’t done with her exploration yet. Instead of inviting him between her thighs, she kissed a slow pathway down his body, following the route her hands had already traversed. Her long hair tickled as it brushed his lower abs.
Fuck!
She paused, painfully close to his cock. If he persuaded her to turn her head a fraction, he could pump right into her mouth. Xane held back, stifling his urge to direct her. He suffered her teasing instead, imagining countless whisper-soft kisses on his inner thighs and around the base of his cock.
He wondered if she’d ever gone down on a guy before. His instincts said probably not.
God, to be her first … to feel her heat and her kiss, and know he was the only person she’d trusted like this. Most of the mouths he’d fucked were as dirty as their owners. Sometimes he figured that was all he deserved. Even his regular lovers were downright filthy beasts, but then, if he was being honest, so was he.
Xane pointed the shower spray at his stomach while he stroked faster.
‘Xane, I can’t.’ In his mind she was on her knees, her eyes shiny and bright when she looked up at him. ‘I do want to, but I can’t.’
‘One kiss,’ he coaxed. ‘I dare you. Just one dry press of your lips. You don’t even have to suck me. Just touch me. Draw your tongue along the slit.’
If she even did that much, he’d probably explode.
Desire and fear warred within her expression. ‘Like this?’ she asked. Her lips met the side of his shaft, then the underside. The tip of her tongue traced a vein upward to the tip. She didn’t suck him. She toyed with him, until he was nearly ready to grab hold of her hair and force the issue. If she’d only open her mouth instead of delivering all those infuriating kisses.
Xane reached for her, only for Dani to rise to her feet. Still, her merciless tease continued. Now with her hand she clasped his shaft and rode up and down the length until his need became so maddening, he lifted up onto his toes.
‘Are you going to come over my belly?’ she asked.
If she continued to stroke her thumb over his slit like that, he very well might.
‘Wouldn’t you like to feel how wet I am?’
Greatly.
She guided his hand, the one he’d been using to brace himself upright against the cubicle, between her legs, where he found her slick heat, and made her swoon in turn.
‘I’m all ready for you, if you’d like to come inside.’
If he’d like to! ‘Babe, I’m desperate to.’
‘Then don’t wait.’
He wouldn’t. He wasn’t.
Their lips locked as his cock found its goal.
Wet. Slick. Glorious heat surrounded him. She was slender and so tight it almost hurt too well to move. Not that he could stop himself, the motion as instinctive as breathing. His need was too strong. It overwhelmed him, drove him, so that he shouted out her name, over and over, and she called out too, pouring words of need and encouragement into his ears, begging him to go deeper, to give it to her harder.
Even though he felt it coming, Xane’s orgasm still caught him like a whiplash. He roared as his cock jerked. The sound came from deep in his belly and he couldn’t seem to stop it, not until he was good and properly done.
His legs buckled beneath him, landing him on his knees in the shower tray. Pain screamed inside his legs, but he paid it no heed. For several minutes he rested, forehead pressed to the glass wall of the cubicle, trying to suck a lungful of air out of the humid environment.
‘You sad fuck,’ he muttered when he finally managed it, while the taste of his own tears mixed with the water spray.
When he eventually crawled out of the cubicle and through into the bedroom, it was on legs still composed of jelly.
The patter of feet sounded on the stone stairs. Then Dani stood right by him. ‘Are you all ri –’ She bent, but he still had to tilt his head to see her properly. Her heavenly legs went on for ever.
‘I heard a noise.’ She briefly pressed the tips of two fingers against his shoulder, and then equally quickly withdrew.
‘What noise?’ A loud buzzing filled his ears, but he guessed she couldn’t hear that.
‘A howl. It sounded as if you were hurt. You were yelling for me.’
‘I stubbed my toe,’ he lied, which naturally accounted for why he was on the floor. She didn’t need to know the sordid truth. That he’d been screaming over a fantasy he’d constructed about fucking her, because screaming in passion beat screaming in pain.
Xane got to his feet, using the foot of the bed for leverage. ‘It’s nothing. I’m OK.’
‘Um … Oh … All right.’
His movement seemed to be causing her some problems.
‘What I mean is …’ She clammed up. Xane watched in appreciation as her tongue peeped out and swept across her dry lips. ‘Um, do you … that is … do you need a towel?’ She gestured to the one lying on the bed within reach of his hand.
Xane picked it up and used it on his hair. He had no issues with showing a bit of skin, and he liked the way his full frontal nudity seemed to hijack her capacity for speech. ‘What?’ he asked innocently, in response to her wide-eyed stare.
He liked distractions. Distractions were good. Distractions meant he didn’t slip into a vat of poisonous memories that would only make him sick with loss.
‘Nothing.’ She half-turned away. ‘That is … you’re blond.’ She blushed a furious and deeply appealing shade of red.
Xane glanced down at his body. Sure, he was blond, but he’d spent so long dyeing his hair jet-black he often forgot that other people didn’t know that. ‘Nice to see you’re taking a meticulous account of my assets.’ He laughed, actually rediscovering his sense of humour from somewhere. It made the salt tracks on his face pull against the skin.
‘It’s not easy to avoid,’ Dani snapped defensively. ‘Oh, God, what am I saying?’ She covered her face with her hands. ‘I think I’d better wait upstairs.’
‘You could help me dry my back.’ He turned, presenting her with a rear view, and held out the towel.
‘Um, I’m not sure I should do that.’
What had ‘should’ to do with it? Fantasising wasn’t enough, Xane decided. He wanted to drown his sorrows with this girl. He wanted to know if she really was interested in him – Xane the person, not Xane the rock god. ‘My back doesn’t bite.’
‘The rest of you probably does.’
True. Nice that she realised it.
‘I think I’ll leave you to get dressed.’
‘I wasn’t planning to. It’s late.’
She straightened up. A startled gaze replaced her glow of embarrassment. ‘Yes, of course. I’ve stayed too long.’ She patted her outfit, but appeared to have left her mobile upstairs, so she couldn’t check the time. ‘I ought to get off.’
Yep, he’d definitely never met a fan like her before. And he knew it wasn’t lack of attraction holding her back, because she’d admitted the desire was there, and he could see it in her eyes anyway.
‘I’ll go fetch your duvet for you and then see myself out.’
‘Wait –’ too late, she’d already scampered off ‘– you’re welcome to stay.’ He probably sounded desperate, but … if she left now, he was doomed to a lonely night in hell, with nothing to distract him from mulling over Steve and Elspeth’s happy union, and the hole it had torn in his gut. If he could just manage to work his legendary charm, instead of acting like a prick around her, then …
Urgh! He bent over the sink feeling nauseous. A swarm of insane hornets had taken up residence in his skull. OK, he just needed to lie down a minute.
Xane flopped down on the bed and rolled onto his back.
Two seconds, and then he’d find some slouch pants and talk to her. Maybe she’d even listen and believe him when he told her what a bunch of arseholes the rest of the band were.
Chapter 9 (#ulink_9d4cf8c1-808c-565f-9251-98494341fcb0)
‘I brought you some water.’
Xane lay spread-eagled across the centre of the bed when Dani returned with the duvet. He didn’t move to acknowledge her arrival. Just lay there exposed with – how had he put it? – all his assets on display. And pretty glorious assets they were too. Not just his … his male bits, but the rest of him, pierced nipples, washboard abs, the swirls of black ink tattooed across his right thigh and other parts, and his … his cock. OK, her attention kept focusing in that direction, but how was any red-blooded woman supposed to resist when their idol was laid out like a gift? Most would have their phones out by now, capturing pictures. Dani didn’t require a photographic reminder; Xane’s image was now burned into her brain alongside the memory of him kissing her.
It didn’t matter that it hadn’t meant anything to him, because – oh, my fucking God – Xane Geist had kissed her.
Nope, she corrected herself. He hadn’t just kissed her. He’d outright propositioned her, and even knowing he was a player – hello, rock star – and regardless of what he’d said when he’d first invited her into his place, she was still ready to let him break her heart.
Dani bit her lip, trying to suppress the urge to molest him while he slept. She particularly wanted to follow that fascinating golden line of hairs that led down from his navel to the thicker bush around his cock. In fact, damn if she didn’t want to push her nose up against him and breathe in his scent too.
What the hell was wrong with her, thinking lewd thoughts about a comatose man? Remain calm, Dani. Keep it together. You’ve played it cool so far.
She tiptoed to the bedside and set down the drink she’d brought him. What a shame he hadn’t stayed awake to swallow it. He’d have a thumping headache in the morning.
‘Here.’ She tucked the duvet around his body. ‘You’ll get cold otherwise.’
Xane didn’t respond.
Maybe she ought to roll him into the recovery position, in case he was sick.
No. She’d leave him. That would be best. She’d go now and not touch him. Better that than for him to wake while she was manhandling him into position and had him across her lap.
‘Well, goodnight, Xane. I’ve enjoyed meeting you.’ She bent and pressed a dry kiss to his brow. ‘I won’t forget this.’
No, she’d be reliving tonight on a daily basis, imagining how things might have gone if he hadn’t passed out, and if she hadn’t been so timid. If she’d only touched him after he’d kissed her, or followed him into the shower, or even dried his back for him instead of standing dreaming of licking the water droplets from between his shoulder blades …
Damn him for sleeping. She wanted another chance. It wasn’t enough to say she’d met him, or that the sensation of his kiss had been imprinted onto her lips.
Maybe he’d forgive her for stealing one last keepsake. It wasn’t as if she intended to take anything that hadn’t already been offered.
Dani kissed her fingertips, meaning to blot them against Xane’s lips. But as she leaned towards him, she recalled the soft trace of his tongue and the odd pressure of his lip ring, and somehow her mouth met his. Even then, she meant only to press lightly before slipping away into the night.
One taste and her resolve broke. A tight spasm gripped her pussy. If only he’d awaken and kiss her back.
A mournful groan escaped her throat.
Xane stirred. Half-opened an eye.
Dani’s cheeks flamed and she tried to step backwards, but Xane’s hand slid into her hair and drew her closer again. ‘Hey,’ he drawled sleepily. ‘That’s not a proper goodbye kiss. Not that I know why you’d be giving such a thing.’ His lips parted beneath hers and sucked her with a firm but gentle pressure. The barest hint of his tongue tickled her senses. This is bad, she thought, even as she continued to fall deeper into his embrace. Her insides were molten. Dani longed to sink down on top of him so their bodies met, to feel his skin against hers. She wanted him to roll them both over so that he laid on top and his dark hair fell around them like a shroud. She wanted him. All of him. Wanted to know what bliss felt like, and not to be ashamed that she’d sought it out. Most of all, she wanted him to desire her as much as she desired him.
Xane took control. Sucking. Teasing her with tender nibbles.
Somehow, even though she knew this wasn’t sensible and though she tried – well, a little – she couldn’t pull away from his embrace. They might only have met for the first time tonight, but Dani couldn’t escape the belief that this man knew her. He understood. And the way he was kissing her, that wasn’t meaningless. It wasn’t only lust. He felt something, didn’t he? He kissed as if he was desperate, as if he was determined to cling on.
‘Stay,’ he urged. ‘Please.’
Dani took a deep steadying breath. She needed to get her brain switched on again.
‘I don’t know.’ Did he even properly remember who he was with? He was acting as if the love of his life were trying to leave him.
‘I do.’ His lips tipped upwards into a smile that showed just the tips of his eye teeth. ‘Just lie down beside me. If it’s what it takes, I’ll even promise to behave.’ He rolled, pulling her with him, so that she landed on her side in the middle of the bed. They faced one another, nose to nose. His hot breath puffed against her cheek.
‘Do you even know how to behave?’
‘Do I need to? Can you swear, hand on heart –’ he clasped her hand and pressed it to her chest ‘– that you want me to be … good?’
No. No way.
She guessed her lack of answer, or the sheen in her eyes, gave her away, for Xane pulled her tight against his body.
‘Wait,’ she gasped, before he devoured her. ‘Earlier you were adamant you didn’t want this.’
‘I never said that. I said, I didn’t want to be groped by someone who didn’t know crap about me.’
‘I don’t know you.’ She didn’t. Not really.
An irritable scowl briefly contorted his expression. ‘Don’t you? You seem to know me more than most.’ He coaxed her under the covers, where he sucked on her lips again, this time stealing both her breath and her senses. ‘Stay.’ He rolled onto his back, pulling her with him so that her head rested upon his chest. His hand remained in her hair, combing through the silken strands in a reassuring manner. ‘Please.’
Dani lifted her chin in order to look at him and caught another glimpse of his inner sadness. She knew then that she couldn’t leave. She’d always wanted to know the real him. The man behind the stage mask; the person responsible for all those impassioned lyrics she related to on so many levels. How could she not take the opportunity to know him better, even if she wasn’t entirely sure he was completely himself?
‘What are you so afraid of?’ he asked.
That their entire relationship would be played out in one paltry night, or even an hour. That he’d hurt her without ever meaning to. And that she’d be found out and punished for it.
‘I’m not actually a prince of darkness. That is, unless you want me to be.’
‘I’d rather you were just you.’
‘Would you?’ he whispered into her hair, so low she strained to hear him. ‘Then you’re the only one.’ He swept a hand down her arm, until he found her hand and clasped it tight. ‘Hold me, Dani.’
‘I’m not sure I …’ Daringly, she spread her fingers wide across his chest. Xane smiled encouragingly. He squeezed her arm. ‘Kiss me.’
She dropped a kiss upon his nose; rained soft kisses upon his face. Xane caught her, supped upon her lips. Boy, did this man know how to kiss. He turned her insides to jelly with only the curl of his tongue.
Dani shrugged aside her normal reserve. The skin across Xane’s chest was smooth and firm, warm too, animated by the persistent thump of his heartbeat. He seemed to like the way her caresses skittered over his body. Leastways, he did nothing to stop her exploration, until her attention wandered below his navel, stroking that slender line of golden fuzz. Then his stomach muscles abruptly twitched.
‘Careful,’ he warned.
Dani snatched her hand away.
‘I didn’t say don’t. Put your hand back. Just be aware of where you’re headed, that’s all.’
‘I am aware.’
‘Sure about that? Then you’d better know that I’m wide-awake.’
Dani rose up on her elbows so that she could look down at his face. ‘You don’t seem very awake.’ Actually, while his eyes still possessed a slightly glazed sheen, he did seem significantly more conscious than he’d been a few minutes ago.
‘Some bits are more alert than others.’
‘Then maybe I shouldn’t touch you there.’
‘I think you definitely should.’
He stroked a hand through her long hair until his palm rested over her lower back. The pressure set Dani’s tensed nerves ablaze.
What was she doing, pretending she could flirt with this man and in any way hope to win? He had the potential to burn her so badly there’d be nothing left but a melted gooey blob.
‘You’re trembling,’ he observed.
‘Am not.’ She cuffed him lightly, although it was true.
‘I dare you.’
‘You dare me to what?’
‘Act on the naughty thoughts you’re thinking.’
Dani put her hand back where it had been on his stomach, which caused Xane to suck in air between his teeth. His eyelids closed, as she began tracing concentric circles around his belly button. She knew this wasn’t what he’d meant, but she’d never really done this before. She’d hardly dared to move with the other guys she’d been with.
‘What do you want me to do?’
‘Whatever you’re comfortable with. It’s nice being with somebody who actually wants me.’
Dani rubbed her cheek against his chest. Even after his shower, the scent of his body proved enough to intoxicate. OK. She was going to take him at his word and seize this opportunity. She leaned over him and tongued the silver hoop through his nipple.
The ring turned beneath her mouth.
‘Yeah,’ he groaned. ‘Again.’
‘You like that?’
‘I like you.’
‘How much?’
His hands skimmed over her lower back, coming to rest across the top of her ass. ‘Keep doing that and maybe I’ll demonstrate.’
‘Only maybe.’ She sucked harder, tugging at the cool metal. Xane’s hips bucked right off the bed, lifting her too.
‘All right, definitely. Now come up here.’ He bucked again, trying to nudge her up towards his head.
‘I like it here.’
‘You’re torment, lady. I’ve another bit that needs your attention a whole lot more than my nipples.’
‘Let me guess, it’s long and thick and …’ And somehow she was saying things that normally she only ever thought, and never actually voiced.
Xane traced a heart-shape over the pulse point in his throat. ‘Come and kiss me here.’
Dani shimmied upwards a fraction to reach.
‘Mmm.’ His appreciation rolled through his body. Shivers of ecstasy chased through his limbs, and he tightened his arms, holding her against him. ‘Harder. Go on, mark me.’
Mark him!
‘Claim me.’
Dani had never understood the appeal of love bites.
‘Please,’ Xane whimpered, then grew stiff as she obliged. ‘Make me yours.’
Even now, when he turned his head to better expose his neck, and his sighs took on the heat of orgasm, she didn’t entirely get it. Tomorrow the mark would be a solid black bruise for the whole world to see. Yet there was no denying the impact on Xane’s libido. The harder she bit, the more he seemed to like it. ‘Yes! Harder. Yes. Don’t be afraid. Give it to me.’ He’d lost all hint of civility. ‘Touch me,’ he begged.
Dani didn’t need to ask where. She understood before his hand found hers and guided her downwards. He filled her palm with his heat, while she nibbled and licked at the bruise she’d made.
He showed her how to move, how to draw her hand all the way up from base to tip and curl her thumb over the head, using the drops of moisture leaking from his body to lubricate the journey.
‘Is it only on your neck you like to be bitten?’
‘I might have a few other sweet spots.’ He lifted his hips in time with the slide of her hand.
Dani stretched upwards, seeking out his mouth, which opened eager to devour her.
Whoa – he was super-eager. His hands were all over her, making a frantic attempt to find a way inside her clothing.
‘Hands off,’ she insisted, holding his wrists still on either side of his head. ‘Slow down, you’ll get your turn. Now, me first.’
He sought her gaze, clearly comprehending her intentions.
‘Let me do this for you, Xane.’
‘You don’t have to do anything.’
No, she didn’t, but he wanted her to regardless of what he was saying. She could see it in his eyes: bold excitement, and a hint of desperation. If she didn’t touch him, he’d die, but it would be no little death. ‘I’ve dreamed about doing this.’
Without further prevarication, Dani shimmied down the bed so that her head lay level with Xane’s hip.
Whore! She could already hear her mother wailing in despair over how dirty she’d become. It’s not wrong, she wanted to yell back. It’s not. It’s perfectly normal to want to do this. Especially for him.
Xane was every fantasy she’d ever had made flesh.
‘You’re pretty big.’ No way was she going to fit all of him in her mouth.
‘Only a little above average.’ He guided her head into place. ‘Kiss me, Dani.’ She rubbed her lips against the tip, then opened her mouth and let him in. ‘Aaah! Oh, hell, yes.’
The unfamiliar taste of him filled her mouth. She sucked, aware of the pulse that throbbed hard within in his cock each time she exerted any pressure. An echoing beat soon pounded between her thighs, leaving her uncomfortably aroused.
Xane’s hands wove into her hair, stroking, kneading. She might have minimal experience at this but it didn’t seem to matter. Xane was plenty appreciative.
Suck a little, stroke a little; flick her tongue against the sensitive bit around the slit. Oh, yes, right there, like that, and he bucked right off the bed. Maybe this was a little dirty, but who damn well cared? She loved the way he jumped, and all the sounds he made deep down in his throat, like he’d lost the ability to speak.
Dani, amongst many, loved Xane’s voice, but she believed few had ever heard him croon like this. It made love knots of her insides.
‘Come up here and let me give you some fun,’ he insisted.
‘No.’ Dani resisted the tugs upon her arms, despite feeling plump and achy between her thighs, and so slick that her panties were a sodden mess.
She liked the sensation of him in her mouth too much.
‘Dani, I’m close.’ His hands fisted and released around the bottom sheet. ‘Keep it up and I’m going to come.’
That was the plan. She wanted him to let go. The taste of him was already thick on her tongue. She wanted to give him this pleasure. Have him come right in her mouth so she could swallow him down. Her head bobbed faster as he strove to pull her up into his arms.
‘Don’t fight it, Xane. I want you,’ she insisted, clasping his hands within hers to stop his tugging. ‘Let me.’
‘You’ll have no joy of me –’
‘Shhh.’ She teased his slit with one … two … three kisses, and then returned to her eager sucking. He still hadn’t entirely given in, although his movements were becoming increasingly jerky. ‘Ah, lady … you’re undoing me.’ Suddenly, his muscles locked tight.
Truly?
‘Oh, man … here it comes.’ He made a noise like a grunt, and his release poured out of him.
Warm jets of semen filled her mouth. Delighted, Dani swallowed. She stayed with him, feeling every pulse until his shaft lost its vigour and slumbered like the rest of him.
He’d passed right out. Completely comatose.
Dani gave his cock one last kiss, then his stomach several more. She shimmied her way up his body, her own arousal still eating her up. ‘Xane.’ She kissed his chin, but he didn’t stir. ‘Bugger!’ What did one do in this situation?
She’d never before slipped a hand between her thighs and sought relief, unless she was entirely alone and hidden in the depths of her walk-in closet, but damn – her front tooth punctured her lip, she bit so hard – she needed, was so very sorely tempted, to rub.
She couldn’t do that here. What would he think?
Nor did she want to leave his bed. What if he woke and found her gone? Would he then think her like all the rest?
She wanted him all over her. His hands and mouth seeking out her sweet spots, thumbs thrumming against her rock-hard nipples, Xane sucking her as she’d sucked him.
Her body didn’t know what to do with itself. It would be impossible to sleep.
‘Xane.’ She prodded his shoulder, but to no joy. He gave a soft grunt, nothing more.
How long would he sleep before he was ready for round two? Would she be insane by that point?
‘Xane.’
Tears in her eyes, Dani rolled onto her side as far away from his scrumptious body as she could get, which, given that he was sprawled right down the centre of the bed, wasn’t nearly far enough away to grant her any sort of privacy.
She needed to come so desperately …
‘Hey, why are you right over there?’ Xane followed her to the edge of the mattress, where he spooned up against her back. ‘You’ve done a right number on me. I think my brains are in my feet.’ He draped one arm over her hip.
Dani stiffened over the positioning, but need overrode her fears, and his heat against her back intensified the wildfire burning along her nerves.
Her tight-fitting clothing stuck to her feverish skin.
Xane’s fingers crept beneath the hem of her skirt, making her tense further. God – she needed him to do something before she expired.
‘Time I demonstrated a few mad skills of my own.’ He breathed close to her ear. ‘You didn’t think I’d leave you wanting, did you?’ His thumb hooked under the outer edge of her underwear, then drew back and forth, back and forth under the seam, driving her insane.
‘Xane, I need …’
‘I know, sweetheart. I’m going to take care of it.’ His index and middle fingers tucked under the inner edge of her panties, and brushed into her curls.
Down a bit, she prayed, biting her lip. Desperate, she lifted herself into his touch. Her clit throbbed. Suddenly, Xane had her sprawled on her back and his large body was over her. His hips wedged into the space between her knees, while his head lay level with her navel.
Glossy black, iron-straight hair shrouded his face, brushed his biceps and tickled her skin where he’d nudged up the hem of her top. The faint trace of stubble on his chin scraped against her belly. If she hadn’t been so desirous, then she might better have anticipated what came next. Xane didn’t understand that her need didn’t require him to peel her clothes off. He tugged. He lifted.
Dani frantically captured his hands and held them in place against her stomach. ‘Don’t take anything off,’ she insisted.
Xane rested his chin against her waistband. ‘Nothing? Are you going to undress yourself?’
Dani bit her lip hard. She shook her head.
‘So I can’t taste these?’ He flicked his index fingers across her tightly steepled nipples, which poked prominently against her clingy black top. ‘Or suck, right here?’ He tapped two fingers against the top of her mound. ‘Where’s the fun in that?’
‘You can do both those things, just don’t undress me.’
He arched an eyebrow. ‘Kinky. A bit weird … but I kind of like it.’
‘Oh, fuck!’ Dani sighed as he drew one taut nipple into the heat of his mouth in a way that shot pulses of pleasure down to her already needy pussy. If he touched her down there, she’d … she’d explode or something. She’d never experienced excitement like this: the anticipation, waiting for him to work his way down her body; the torment of each and every slow kiss. He nibbled and sucked at the edge of her tummy button, explored its depths with his tongue, until her clit grew impossibly hot and swollen.
Dani spread her thighs, opening for him as he crept lower and lower.
He sought her gaze, begged permission with two silvery-grey eyes. Please, Dani. Let me taste you.
She arched to him as Xane dipped his head. His tongue slid against the bud of her clit. Even dulled a little by the layer of sodden fabric, it electrified every cell of her body.
‘It’s no good, Dani.’ His tongue danced along the seam of her knickers, darting beneath where it could, but never seeking its true goal. ‘These pretty things have got to come off.’
He didn’t allow her to deny him, simply ripped them off and flung them away from the bed.
‘Now,’ he said, staring at her bared sex. ‘Now the real pleasure begins.’
Dani thought she knew what to expect. After all, he wasn’t the first guy to put his tongue on her clit. Only no one else had ever kissed her there with such a show of devotion. He made love to her pussy, the same way he kissed her lips, with an explosive mixture of passion and reverence. Xane teased. He nibbled, until her juices covered the whole lower half of his face and Dani had her toes stretched to points as pronounced as the peaks of her nipples.
A desperate ache built in her womb. Every time he touched her, she jumped a little. It was too much and not enough. Unable to grasp hold of Xane, she sought purchase for her hand on the pillows, and then the underside of the headboard. With her braced thus, her first climax struck her hard. It rippled through her limbs, relaxing her, only for her muscles to tense again immediately. Xane kept on riding the wave of energy with her. He shoved her legs wide, urging her to bend her knees and open up completely to him.
He pushed two fingers inside her and curled them while he drummed a rapid tattoo against her nub, then used his thumb to sweep over the delicate puckered ring of her anus.
Dani’s pulse raced, struggling to keep pace with her rapid breaths. ‘What are doing?’ she gasped, shocked by how much that filthy touch turned her on.
‘Giving you a good time, I hope.’
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Madelynne Ellis
On stage he’s dynamite. Off stage he rocks her world.From Madelynne Ellis, author of best selling Mischief books ‘Anything but Vanilla’ and ‘Her Husband’s Lover’, ‘Come Undone’ is a passionate, sexy romance that will leave you breathless.When red-hot, Goth-metal band, Black Halo, split live on stage, fate throws Daniella Fosbrook into the path of sexy vocalist Xane Geist. Initially, Xane’s only looking for a ride home, but Dani tempts him in a way a thousand other women haven’t. Determined to explore their heady chemistry and avoid hashing things out with the band, Xane whisks Dani off to Monaco for a steamy weekend.There, Dani tries her best to hang onto her heart and some clothing, while Xane soon loses both. However, Xane isn’t being entirely honest about the reason for the band’s demise. When the truth comes out, can Dani accept the facts, or will everything come undone?
Come Undone
Rock Hard: Book 1
Madelynne Ellis
Table of Contents
Cover (#uf35f5485-063c-53bc-86e8-142b571f56f0)
Title Page (#u8a130dcf-385c-5ea7-b3b1-d50817172a0e)
Chapter 1 (#ub8e4361d-ec88-51c0-b63d-68780d3e60a3)
Chapter 2 (#uf1d36ced-abb2-5788-8a45-b243279bd4e9)
Chapter 3 (#u860e0d28-671a-5a1c-a439-1444598a4f7c)
Chapter 4 (#u02962cfa-7ac1-53a1-8755-bcf31fc873bc)
Chapter 5 (#u2447e980-799a-597a-95be-8e84e48a1afa)
Chapter 6 (#u411f6d32-08b5-5be7-b225-997c3b8a29ba)
Chapter 7 (#ucb997d76-89e2-5543-9b35-3b9943d179a1)
Chapter 8 (#u9f7c577f-cefe-545d-8ecc-7c13a0fc28cd)
Chapter 9 (#u8c0a2328-9dde-5d52-9771-d57507b32547)
Chapter 10 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 11 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 12 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 13 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 14 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 15 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 16 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 17 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 18 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 19 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 20 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 21 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 22 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 23 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 24 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 25 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 26 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 27 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 28 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 29 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 30 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 31 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 32 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 33 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 34 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 35 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 36 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 37 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 38 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 39 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 40 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 41 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 42 (#litres_trial_promo)
More from Mischief (#litres_trial_promo)
About Mischief (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
About the Publisher (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 1 (#ulink_ff5a5dbd-89bd-5124-8649-88fad2ebb662)
‘Leave it – leave it. Ginny, don’t.’
Daniella struggled to keep the excitement out of her voice as Ginny seized the lanyard and tugged. It slipped readily enough from beneath the handles of the half-open handbag and slithered into her palm, bringing the prized backstage pass with it.
‘Bingo!’ Ginny took a moment to sway her hips in a triumphant wiggle, before the sound of the toilet flushing caused her eyes to widen. She and Dani lurched towards the exit and somehow managed to squeeze through together. After a ten-metre sprint down a corridor they turned a corner and collapsed against the wall with stupid grins stretched across their faces.
‘Mmmwha.’ Ginny smacked a kiss upon the stolen pass. ‘We’re in, Black Halo all-access.’ She gave Dani a thumbs-up, only to roll her eyes a second later at the sight of Dani’s frown.
‘We shouldn’t have done that,’ Dani wheezed, still bent over from the exertion. ‘Are you insane? She’ll probably get into awful trouble for losing it.’ Not that her concern was entirely for the woman in the loos. What she really meant to say was that they’d get into trouble. Arrested, probably, and definitely escorted off site. Her mum would disown her or, worse, exact sanctions, and she’d only recently managed to fly the nest and move into student digs.
‘Gin, why did you do that?’ Dani pushed away from the wall, and straightened her skirt, which had somehow got twisted during their insane flight. Even set to rights, she wasn’t entirely comfortable in the ensemble, which was one of Ginny’s and far too short and clingy. She hadn’t shown off this much leg since her pre-teen days. ‘You’re going to get us into so much shit.’
Ginny stuck her head around the corner to check the way was clear. ‘Don’t be soft. It’ll teach her to take better care of her property. She’s lucky it’s only this little baby –’ Ginny wafted the laminated card before Dani’s nose ‘– that she’s lost and not her purse and credit cards too. Admit it – it’s pretty dumb to leave your bag unattended in a public washroom.’
‘Suppose.’ Depressingly, that was true, no matter how much Dani might wish otherwise. Not that it excused their action. Now the thrill of the moment had passed, she rather wished she’d put more effort into stopping the theft, instead of behaving like a teenage mug. She was older and smarter than that, and having a crush the size of a mountain on the Black Halo front man didn’t excuse juvenile behaviour.
‘The main act’s starting,’ she said, thinking they could hand the pass in to one of the security guys working the doors before they went to their seats. They could say they found it. They might even get a legitimate reward for their honesty. ‘Let’s go in now.’
‘What’s the rush?’ Ginny stalled, dragging her heels as they walked back towards the main foyer. She stopped before a poster advertising the tour to fluff her jet-black hair.
Despite Ginny’s black-only wardrobe, Daniella suspected that her friend didn’t actually like Black Halo’s music as much as she did the band members, or at least some idea of them, or just the notion of snogging them. She’d already vetoed watching the two support acts in favour of hitting the bar and then scouting around for a route backstage. Dani hadn’t been too bothered by that. Godwatch’s lyrics strayed into uncomfortable territory for her, but she hadn’t forked out for a ticket to miss seeing her favourite band. ‘I came here to see them, please let’s just do that,’ she pleaded.
‘Don’t you want to see where this baby can get us?’ Ginny kissed the laminate again. ‘Come on, admit it, an all-access pass to the group is way more exciting than standing in a crowd and yelling, “Black is my heart” until you go hoarse.’
Actually, Dani had been looking forward to shouting along with the several-thousand-strong crowd. The resulting sore throat would be totally worth it. Plus, they had seats right at the front so she’d get to see vocalist Xane Geist close up. And oh, she had to squeeze herself just thinking about that, and how he might look at her even for a second.
Xane was Dani’s secret piece of rebellion, her Lucifer wrapped up in an unbearably erotic package. He was all tight muscle and temptation. His snaky hips alone were an enticement to sin. Then there was his voice, unique even within the gothic metal scene, and his disturbing but oh, so very pretty face.
‘Dani Fosbrook, don’t pretend you’re not up for this. We both know how wet Xane gets your knickers. You’re literally dying for him to get into them.’
OK, her not so secret fantasy. Yes, she’d struggle to say no to him if he asked her to kneel and worship him, but that didn’t make the notion of sneaking into his dressing room and throwing herself at him any less abhorrent. That was the sort of stunt that, if anyone were to find out, would earn her a one-way ticket back to St Agatha’s home for the benevolently disturbed. And she was so, so done with that messed-up place.
‘Think on it, you can have him right after he’s walked off stage.’
Nnn-gh! Dani bit down so hard her teeth hurt. She ought never to have come with Ginny, who had the morals of an alley cat and the sex drive of a Duracell bunny. Her friend’s plan for the night appeared to be not only to get laid but to do every member of Black Halo before they’d even hit the showers.
Yet until now Ginny had seemed her best option. The only other people Dani knew who were there were Ellen, Tony and Reg, and the thought of Reg accidentally on purpose nudging against her every few seconds so he could cop a feel of her butt gave her hives.
‘Come on, Saint. Don’t sweat it. Let me do the talking.’
Dani bristled at the use of her recently acquired nickname. Other people seemed to find it amusing that she’d been brought up in a religious commune. They hadn’t a blinking clue! There was absolutely nothing amusing about St Agatha’s.
Ginny linked their arms and swung them around. ‘You, me and Xane, that’s all you have to think about. Now, let’s go and grab a piece of his ass.’
And, like that, Dani allowed herself to be tugged away from the auditorium.
Chapter 2 (#ulink_610525d8-b445-59bf-8d62-7dfb639d5f6e)
There was a second, a single sprawling moment between two beats during which Xane genuinely believed he could make it through the show. He’d worked for this; no one could say he hadn’t. The crowd before him screamed his name, sometimes so loudly he could hear it over the top of the thundering guitars and the crackle of his own voice. But he could only see them in snapshots between the curls of dry ice and the near-blinding array of overhead lights, and that wasn’t enough to keep him grounded. The first time his voice cracked it was pretty easy to cover, the fifth not so much.
The lyrics, words he’d written, might sound like an incomprehensible growl to the critics, but they had meaning for him. Meanings that now bruised and bit and tore into his chest, making him feel as though his heart would rupture. Whereas in the past those words had been an emotional, sometimes sentimental, sometimes cathartic release, they were now transformed into a poisonous rehashing of the last eighteen months.
He had to stop this charade somehow. If only to make them realise he wasn’t here to be used and abused.
When, midway through ‘Perverted Wraiths’, their biggest hit to date, he skipped the first three lines of the chorus, the concerned looks that bassist Paul ‘Rock Giant’ Reed had been throwing him became truly alarmed. For a while the rest of the group were carrying him, but that couldn’t last long. The fans were watching, and they were used to a thumping, souped-up horror show that Xane led. If there were monsters in the band, then he was the biggest, and made a point of dressing the part: black leather, piercings, the sort of glassy-eyed stare that could melt steel (it certainly wet knickers) and other accoutrements of the shock-horror genre. Then there was the stuff he could do with his voice – raising hairs on the backs of necks one second, only to change into a chorus of angels the next. What he actually was, when you stripped away all the theatre, didn’t matter. Folks didn’t pay to see the real Xane Geist. They paid for a spectacle.
Unfortunately, tonight the cracks in his disguise were showing.
Given the amount of crap he endured on a daily basis, and the routine lack of respect, it was a miracle he hadn’t reached this point sooner. One human being could only take so much, and being a rock god didn’t change that.
His nose stung, and his vocal cords refused to form the lyrics. Hell, he couldn’t even scream, something he was particularly known for.
Elspeth ought to have held her tongue, but when did she ever?
Why had he believed she’d be good for him?
Maybe, if he’d been more honest with himself and how he felt, it would never have come to this?
There was no way of knowing now.
The sound of the audience’s frustrated baying was a minor thing at first, easily masked by the crash of the drums, but soon not even Ash hacking away on lead guitar could entirely drown them out.
When he mouthed, ‘We’re done’ to Steve, the drummer, he hadn’t counted on the big screen picking it up. The fact that it did brought things to an extremely swift halt.
* * *
Xane barely got off the stage before Paul and Ash were both in his face asking him what the fuck was going on. Xane was no weed but Rock Giant towered over him by a good four inches. He could probably bench-press Xane and a Ford Fiesta combined. ‘What the fuck, man? Get back out there.’
‘Is something up with your voice?’ Ash, their lead guitarist, muscled his way between them. He wasn’t quite Rock Giant sized, but he did know how to throw a mean punch. ‘You’ve been off-key all night.’
‘He’s been giving one too many blow jobs,’ one of the roadies joked.
Xane threw the guy a scathing glance.
‘Keep your dickhead remarks to yourself, Liam. Unless you’d like me to review your working hours?’ Ash snarled. He returned his attention to Xane. ‘Do you need a break to gargle some tea, or something? We can say there’re technical issues.’
‘There’s nothing wrong with my throat.’ Xane wasn’t even going to pretend that was the case. His problems were was far more deep-rooted than that. He could no longer work with these people. He didn’t want to be on the same continent as two of them. ‘Gig’s off.’ It wasn’t even a case of artistic differences. Those they could have worked out. This they’d never make right.
‘What the fuck!’ Jan ‘Spook’ Mortensen, who rarely muttered more than five sentences a week, launched into a string of Swedish expletives. Curiously, the dozen or so Swedish words that Xane knew.
‘You know he has a point, Xane.’ Ash tried to lead him off into a corner for a quiet chat, but the rest of the group followed. ‘There’s a stadium full of mad bastards out there. Do you really want to tell them the show’s over? They’re not going to slope off quietly to their homes and hotel rooms.’
He understood that. They’d come for a piece of him, and they’d insist on getting it. He, however, was damn sure they weren’t getting any more of him tonight, regardless of how many people insisted on staring at him as though he’d grown an extra head.
‘Xane, it’ll cost us millions.’
Hardly. This was one gig, and there was only one other date left on the tour. It might piss off a few people, but they’d get over it. Bands sometimes had to cancel shows at short notice. It happened. It rarely crippled anyone.
The guys parted to let Elspeth float to the fore. She looked as insubstantial as a wraith, but she had a banshee’s backbone and a scold’s tongue. Her lips were slicked red, and curved into a perfect pout around two sets of vampire fangs.
Xane’s hackles rose the moment her jasmine perfume wafted to his nostrils. He refused to look at her, focusing instead on the top of her head. She and Spook were the only blondes in the band, but Spook’s white-blond mane didn’t come out of a bottle. Elspeth was showing a quarter-inch of mousy brown roots.
When she curled her hand over his arm, he mentally pulled himself inwards. Xane stared at her black polished nails and fought the urge to physically recoil too.
‘Look, honey, I know you’re upset, but for crap’s sake think about this. You’re not just going to shaft us over this gig if you walk out. The press will hammer us into an early grave. We’ll all lose out. All of us.’
The problem was that ‘all’ didn’t seem to include him in any capacity other than as a cash cow. He knew for a fact that she didn’t give a damn about him as a person. She’d proved that resoundingly, five minutes before they’d walked out on stage.
‘Black Halo’s dead.’
He hadn’t planned to say it, to make it so final, but as soon as the words were spoken he knew it was the right decision. They were over in their current format anyway, because he couldn’t continue to work with either her or Steve. This was his band. Without him, Black Halo were nothing. He was their lyricist, their main composer, the motivating force behind it all. Their whole image had been created by him. Without his drive, nothing would ever happen. Maybe now they’d start to appreciate that.
Despite his bitterness, the shock reflected in their eyes gave him a moment’s pause, but only until he realised that the relief the announcement brought him had given his foul mood a strange little upswing. Oh, yeah, screeched the bit inside him that hurt. Chew on that, lady.
When he jerked away from Elspeth’s grasp, to his relief she didn’t attempt to touch him again.
‘No,’ Rock Giant groaned. ‘We are not done over a fucking lovers’ tiff.’ He stared at them as if he expected them to lay aside their quarrel and to kiss and make up.
It wasn’t happening.
Rock Giant held his head in his hands, which crushed several of the deranged spikes he’d moulded his hair into. ‘I can’t believe you’re doing this, Xane. The band’s more important than one individual relationship within it. Seriously, you’re throwing in the towel because she’s not warming your bed any more?’
‘Paul’s right, Xane. You’re acting way out of proportion.’ Graham Callahan, the band’s manager, had arrived, his twenty-stone frame squeezed into a corporate suit.
He was not overreacting. This wasn’t only about him and Elspeth. It was about him and Steve, and the rest of the band too, and all their shitty attitudes, which were apparently about to see another airing.
‘You need to get back on stage.’
Not bloody likely. Xane gave a swift shake of his head.
Several of the roadies formed up around him like a squad of Marines. As if marching him back onto the stage was going to achieve anything.
‘Seriously, I’m done.’
‘Xane.’
‘Really, Graham.’
Would it have hurt any of them to ask him if he was OK? It wasn’t as if they hadn’t figured out the basics of what was going on. But no, all they were concerned about was what was best for them and their wallets.
Graham raised his hand. ‘OK, let’s talk.’
He didn’t fucking want to talk. He didn’t want to explain. He just wanted out. If any of them actually wanted to know what had caused this rift then they could yap amongst themselves and figure it out. That’s if the platinum band next to the ruddy enormous diamond on Elspeth’s finger didn’t clue them in.
He wasn’t the one responsible for this. He was just the shmuck who’d been taken for granted and then unceremoniously dumped by someone he’d loved and trusted.
It was probably a good thing there were no windows backstage, because he felt like punching glass.
‘Xane, I’m sorry,’ Steve mumbled at him as Xane shouldered his way towards the greenroom. He wasn’t sticking around for a debate, and he sure as hell wasn’t singing, even if they dragged him back on stage trussed up like a Christmas turkey.
Right now, he couldn’t sing. He was too fucking choked with anger.
Steve tailed him as far as the water fountain. ‘You know it wasn’t our intention to hurt you. It doesn’t have to change things between us. It can still be like before, if you want.’
If he wanted. Nice of Steve to think of him at last. Except, of course, it was bollocks. No way could things be the same. Marriage changed things irrevocably. It involved commitment. It imposed limits. It stank of exclusivity. And Steve and Elspeth were hitched.
‘We’re for ever, man.’ Steve lifted his hand as though he intended them to brush knuckles. Instead, Xane snapped the chain he wore around his neck and dumped the contents into the callused hands of his drummer.
‘Not any more. I don’t want to see either of you again.’
Steve’s brow furrowed. ‘You don’t mean that.’
‘Weren’t you listening?’ God, it hurt his throat to speak. ‘The band’s done.’
Steve stroked his hand over his chin and his devilish goatee. ‘I didn’t think you actually meant it.’
‘We’re done.’ Xane repeated to emphasise the point.
Steve crossed his arms over his chest. ‘What would you have us do, Xane? I love her. You know I do. Was I supposed to turn her down?’
Xane’s eyes narrowed. The sting in his nose had become almost intolerable. It made him physically ill to look at this man who had been his closest friend for years. ‘Did you think for a second how I’d feel?’
Steve stretched out his arm, but Xane stepped back out of reach to avoid the contact, leaving his former friend shaking his head.
‘I’m sorry it’s happened this way. I really am. It’s not how I wanted it. I thought we were good, Xane. I thought you understood. I hope when you’ve calmed down we can –’
‘Fuck off!’ Xane snarled, tightening his fists. ‘Seriously, just eff off, before I give in to what I’d like to do and wring your bloody neck.’
Chapter 3 (#ulink_64f2d245-5a8e-5ad5-af4b-59a433478956)
Not only was Ginny’s plan the source of everything stupid, it was moronic too. Missing the show on the vague off-chance that they might meet the band sucked big time. Dani wanted to be in with the crowd, singing along with Xane’s growling vocals as Spook Mortenson went batshit on guitar. That guy could work magic on a fretboard. His textures, the way he injected primal desire into the heavy choruses from their Beyond the Lich Gate album, set vibrations running through her nerves as though it were her he was playing.
‘Can’t we just hit their hotel bar, post show?’ she whined.
They’d managed to slip into the backstage area, although bits of it looked more like a coffee shop, thanks to the leather tub chairs and cute round tables. But there’d not been so much as a sniff of testosterone, unless you counted the odd besuited member of the venue staff.
‘Know where they’re staying, do you?’ Ginny asked, planting a hand firmly on her hip.
Dani sighed at her toes. ‘Actually, I heard it was the Whyteleaf.’ The landmark family-run hotel had recently undergone an extensive refurbishment, having been purchased by a global conglomerate. What’s more, their PR man had clearly decided that having a rock band, even an extreme metal group, constituted a major scoop for business. Black Halo’s image had been splashed across all their recent advertising.
Ginny vetoed the possibility with a slash of her hand. ‘Everyone will be there. We’ll not get close.’
They didn’t seem to be getting very close anyway. ‘Ginny, are you even sure this is the right place? These rooms look like offices.’
‘What do you expect a dressing room to look like?’
‘I don’t know, stars on the doors?’ She’d never been backstage anywhere before, unless you counted performing in the school nativity play. She’d assumed it’d be full of bustling activity, whereas their current surroundings were too quiet. Only the odd vibration through the floor hinted that there was a band on the premises.
They turned yet another corner and into a broad corridor, down which there were at least a dozen doors. ‘Like these, you mean?’ Ginny crowed.
There weren’t actually stars on the doors, but there were card slots. Godwatch, Dying Pain … Ginny read them out, her voice growing louder, until she shrieked, ‘Black Halo. Yes!’ She punched the air. ‘Dani, we’re in.’
Ginny barged straight into the room. Dani followed on the balls of her feet, expecting to be challenged. Inside, dressing tables lit with hundreds of bulbs lined one wall of a roughly boot-shaped room. They’d entered at the leg end, a tight space dominated by rails full of leather coats. Where the room widened, twin squashy sofas sat either side of a coffee table littered with beer cans and half-empty bottles of spring water. A purple electric guitar lay in the centre of one sofa, and a huge display of lilies on its counterpart. The smell of flowers permeated the room, almost but not quite masking the waxy odour of white foundation, hairspray and half a dozen different deodorants.
‘Seriously, they make them all squish into one room?’ Dani had anticipated a dressing room each. Surely by the time you hit Black Halo’s level of success you were guaranteed a little privacy? ‘So, now what?’
Ginny moved the lilies onto the table alongside someone’s laptop and a stack of chocolate. Then she stretched out on that sofa. ‘We chill, silly.’
Dani flicked a glance at the clock on her phone. She had no intention of lounging around in the dressing room with Ginny for the next hour, missing all the thrill of the show. She’d bought a ticket so that she could chant along with the rest of the crowd, not to camp out in a glorified closet. ‘I’m going to go watch,’ she insisted.
‘Suit yourself.’ Ginny rolled her eyes upwards, then crossed her arms and snuggled against the leather. ‘Suppose you’d better take this, then, just so that you can get back in. And don’t lose it. I need to frame that baby later.’
Dani caught the laminated pass and slipped the lanyard around her neck, still half hoping Ginny would come with her. When it became apparent she wouldn’t, Dani headed for the door.
‘Hey, Saint,’ Ginny called. Dani turned to see her helping herself to a bar of chocolate. ‘Are you actually going to come back or shall I see you at the hotel?’
‘Um,’ Dani replied, her hand on the door knob. She worried her lower lip with her teeth. Sure, she wanted to meet the band, but not through subterfuge. Ginny’s method also required her to be somebody she wasn’t, and entailed expectations that made her uneasy. Dani didn’t put out for a guy on a first date – and she was applying the term ‘date’ very loosely in this situation. That rule didn’t change even if the guy in question was a rock star, and somehow she didn’t think any of the band members would be interested in a chat over coffee. Before she let a man between her legs, he had to prove he cared about her. She couldn’t be like Ginny, who never seemed to worry about pregnancy or disease or any other complication. Ginny didn’t need trust to get naked, only the most basic of excuses.
Dani preferred not to take all her clothes off – ever. She routinely showered with her eyes tight closed, and, if it’d been practical to leave her underwear on, would have done so. The thought of allowing a stranger to get frisky with her, especially while his mates were hanging about close enough to hear, if not see, them, made her nauseous, not horny.
‘It’s OK, Saint. I can be woman enough for them all if you’re not game.’
‘Well …’
‘Really. It’s fine. I’ll see you at the hotel.’
‘How?’ Dani asked. They’d driven to the stadium together.
Ginny laughed at her. ‘Duh, I’ll call a cab. You know, the black things with wheels on the corners that ferry people about. And don’t feel you need to wait up.’
‘All right,’ she agreed dubiously, not entirely happy about the idea of leaving Ginny to make her way alone. And she would wait up, same as she always did when Ginny stayed out late, just to make sure she actually got home.
‘Use the pass if you change your mind about scoring yourself some hot man-flesh.’
Dani left her and began retracing their steps. Naturally, she did wonder if she’d made the right decision. She did desperately want to meet Xane, and it would definitely be safer if she and Ginny stuck together, but … hell, Xane probably wouldn’t want anything to do with her anyway, especially when she wasn’t prepared to put out, and she didn’t think she could stomach that sort of rejection. Also, she didn’t want to see Ginny getting frisky with him. That’d make her puke.
Better that she stuck to seeing the gig. As it was, she was going to have to concoct a story for her mum about what she’d been up to tonight. She might have escaped the commune, but the sisterhood were still paying her university fees, and they liked to keep close tabs on her to ensure she was still upholding the precepts of the order.
Attending rock concerts, especially Black Halo gigs, definitely wasn’t on the list of acceptable activities. Black Halo epitomised just about everything the sisterhood despised most. If they found out she’d been here, they’d probably cut her off. Or, worse, drag her back to the commune to live amongst them again.
Dani paused, realising she’d taken a wrong turn in the maze of backstage corridors. Ahead, rather than the entrance hall, were crates of equipment. Several beefy guys – roadies, she guessed – were lounging around swigging tinnies. One or two were entertaining a huddle of scantily dressed rock chicks.
Ginny would have blended right in, but even decked out in Ginny’s goth gear Dani knew she’d give off the wrong vibes. Better she kept her distance than embarrassed herself by asking for directions.
Only one guy even shot a glance in her direction. His interest died away the moment he focused on her chest.
She’d have felt hurt, if she hadn’t realised he’d clocked her pass. It was white, while the ones the girls were wearing were all pink.
Having decided that she must be quite close to the stage now, Dani continued onwards. Only where was the thumping bass? Even through the walls she ought to have been able to hear that by now, if not feel the vibrations pummelling her chest. Instead, only a low-level hum of voices reached her from ahead.
Another few paces on, and she stopped to perform a double take. Hang on … wasn’t that Ash Gore, the Black Halo lead guitarist, lounging against the stacks? Why wasn’t he on stage with the rest of the band?
Unless he had an identical twin brother?
Nah – it would have cropped up in interviews. Stuff like that gave the fan girls wet dreams. Nor did it account for the thick rim of kohl around his eyes or his crazy metal-head hair. Or, indeed, why Rock Giant hunched beside him on top of a busted amp.
‘Oof!’
Dani came to an unceremonious halt, metal claws digging into her shoulder. She put out a hand for balance, only for it to meet leather – soft, supple, leather – and then hard muscle. Equally quickly, she jerked away.
‘Sorry.’
‘Just look where you’re going?’
She was. Leastways, now she was. Staring in gobsmacked disbelief, in fact. Her attention fixed upon his lamp-like cat’s eyes.
Xane. She’d walked right into Xane Geist without even seeing him. And … and … wow.
Her heart gave a fluttery drum roll, while her knees threatened to buckle.
Xane had always been her favourite. As the face of the group, he’d always drawn the bulk of the fans’ attention, but he was also the acknowledged genius behind their success. Up close, the magnetism that wowed audiences snagged her in the midriff and yanked her into closer proximity. He was … She had to touch her lips to ensure she wasn’t drooling. He was perfect.
Inky black hair framed his narrow face, and the ends reached midway down his chest. A spiked collar encircled his neck. Dani curled her fingers. The memory of his heat still warmed their tips. His cheekbones were shaved as if from pure marble; his nose a slender blade, above which his black eyebrows were furrowed. His crooked, kissable lips were drawn into a tight scowl that was further emphasised by the silver hoop piercing the centre of his bottom lip.
Two further hoops pierced his right eyebrow.
Beneath his leather jacket, he was dressed in a combination of rags and more form-fitting black leather. When she’d touched him, she’d hit a spot where his T-shirt was ripped away to show a painted-on version of his exposed ribs.
Dani’s lips parted in a gasp. For the first time in her life, she understood what it meant to melt, too feel so drawn to another human being that she lost control of even the most basic functions. All at once she was too jittery and hot; molten with arousal and terrified and ashamed too.
Oh, man – he smelled fab too, of good old-fashioned body scent, liberally mixed with a spritz of something expensive for men. Now it made sense why women like Ginny went to such effort to meet him, and why they were prepared to throw their morals to the wind and romp like wild things with a total stranger.
She could even picture herself sprawled across some hotel bed with him, having crazy sex.
‘Are you all right? Lost?’ He sounded pissed off, something his brittle smile corroborated. Yet Dani’s brain only processed the fact that his speaking voice was much softer than she’d anticipated, and lacked any hint of his trademark growl.
Realising she was still gaping at him, she took a moment to close her mouth. She wasn’t lost, just dazzled.
The painful bite of Xane’s claw rings restored her sanity. She coughed and straightened herself.
Xane kept his hand on her shoulder. ‘Sally?’ he said, as he lifted the backstage pass to read her name. Even hidden by opaque contact lenses, his eyes were still shrewdly intelligent as he gave her face and body a quick, appreciative sweep. ‘Were you looking for me?’ His eyebrows arched meaningfully.
‘Yes. I mean, no. I was trying to get through to the arena so I could watch the show.’
They maintained eye contact, because Dani couldn’t wrench her gaze away.
For a split second Xane’s scowl transformed into a smile. ‘The show’s over, honey. I don’t think you want to go out there.’
‘I don’t? Already?’
He rubbed his thumb across the part of her ID that said PR. ‘I’d stay back here. Safer, until you’ve a statement worked out.’
A statement! What was she supposed to give a statement about? And how was it she’d managed to miss the entire show? It wasn’t supposed to be over yet. Although now she thought about it, the roadies did appear to be packing up. ‘W–what happened?’ If she’d been an actual PR person she’d have been in full-on flap right about now. The woman whose pass she wore probably was. Ginny ought never to have taken her card.
Xane shook his head. ‘Sally.’ He snagged hold of the lanyard again, forcing her to meet his gaze. This was it. She was busted. He was going to yell for security and have her unceremoniously dumped out back. ‘Do you drive?’
‘A car, you mean?’ Why was this important? ‘Yes. I drove to the show.’
His lips quirked up at one corner, forming a rehearsed smile, which nevertheless had her creaming her knickers.
‘Good. Then you can get me out of here.’
Chapter 4 (#ulink_84fbd683-88d8-5b8d-ba59-5f9e16752191)
‘Xane. Hold up, man.’ Ash stopped him just before he hit the tarmac, by making a starfish impersonation across the exit. His original intention might have been noble – Ash, like Xane, only had one commitment in life and that was the band – but his best intentions went bye-bye as he checked out the girl.
Hell knows who she really was. For definite she wasn’t Sally Kettering, prize battle-axe and PR fiend extraordinaire. Sally had never looked half so hot. Most of the time she barely looked human, and in her case that primarily wasn’t down to stage make-up. He’d made sure Sally had plenty of work to do tonight, a fact she’d no doubt fry him for later.
This girl, now – she was exactly the right mix of hot, indecisive and innocent to get Ash completely jacked up. Pretty oval face, with big wide-set brown eyes and a slightly top-heavy figure, coupled with a fearfully delicate smile. Admittedly, pretty much anything that moved and was ostensibly female captured Ash’s interest. The lead guitarist got laid more often than the rest of the group put together, and none of them went short in that respect. The others weren’t quite such bastards about it, though. Ash liked to get his kink on, turn them out and move straight on to the next one. He consumed women in the same way he consumed booze. He’d take whatever was on offer, as long as it went down well.
The reason Xane insisted on individual hotel suites and his own tour bus wasn’t just because he needed solitude in order to compose. It saved him from being irate at Ash twenty-four seven. Patting Ash’s rejects on the back and seeing them on their way got horribly tedious. Nor did he care for the constant reminder of what his life had once been like. It wasn’t so very long ago that he’d shown similarly indiscriminate tastes. That’d changed in recent times. Having found himself a comfortable arrangement, he hadn’t felt the need to wander.
‘Hadn’t’ – the word rang in his head like a leper’s bell. He tried to shut down the thought before it doubled him over, but failed miserably. His relationship was in tatters, and what he needed right now was a hell of a lot of something to deaden the pain.
When the hell would he learn his lesson? Just because someone whispered words of love into your ear after they fucked you didn’t mean they meant it. It didn’t mean you could trust them. People said one thing and then did another all the time. It wasn’t as if he didn’t know that. It just hurt like fuck to accept it.
Xane kept his fists curled tight. It wasn’t very manly, but curling into a ball and sobbing until he was hoarse really appealed right now. Except he was too damned angry to cry, and he refused to shed a tear over that bastard and bitch.
Not that it was purely the Steve-and-Elspeth situation riling him. It was the contempt too. The fact that the rest of the band valued him so little they thought it was no big deal for him to be treated like this.
Well, it was time people started accepting that their actions had repercussions. If you pissed on the same fire often enough it went out. And right now he felt thoroughly pissed on.
‘Where you headed?’ Ash enquired nonchalantly, as though there were nothing amiss.
Xane put his arm around the girl’s shoulders. Beneath her skin, her pulse raced excitedly. She probably thought she’d won herself a grand old prize, when she couldn’t have been more wrong.
‘Sally and I are going for a drive.’
That got him a response. Ash raised both beetle-black brows in disbelief. The girl stiffened too, so much so that Xane almost withdrew his hold. It seemed the idea of getting lewd and crude with him hadn’t actually been front and centre in her thoughts. She looked up at him in stunned disbelief.
‘Really?’ Ash raked his gaze over the girl’s body from her tits to the hem of her very short skirt. ‘I know I’m always on at you to branch out more, but is now really the best time? Shouldn’t you be hashing it out with them?’
Xane flicked the tip of his tongue against the silver ring through his lip. ‘To what purpose? Everything that needs saying has already been said.’
Ash hunched his shoulders so high he was in danger of piercing his ears with the spikes on his jacket. ‘Dammit, Xane, nothing’s been said at all! It was a dumb situation to get yourself in, and it’s even dumber now. You ought to be glad you’re out of it.’
‘’Cause you’d know all about what’s best for me.’
‘I know you should have waited until the gig was over before you started your pity party.’
Yeah, and Elspeth should have held her bloody tongue until the show was done, but he didn’t suppose Ash had bothered to yell at her.
Xane moved closer to the door. His public image might be as a hard man of rock, but not even he could perform a death growl with his throat choked up and a six-foot incision in his chest.
Ash shifted to one side but slouched against the doorframe, forcing them to step over his legs to get out. ‘I’ll be in touch tomorrow. We need to talk things through.’
They didn’t need to talk about jack. Black Halo was done in its current form. ‘Whatever.’ Xane pulled his saviour into the rain.
After the heat of the arena, the cold outside came as a surprise. Xane kept hold of the girl as much for warmth as to maintain the façade that he intended to get laid. Sex was not what he needed right now. With his soul already flayed he didn’t need someone else’s expectations and emotions complicating things. And the thing about fans – which is what he gathered she was – was that they all thought they knew him, having memorised a few bits of trivia. Not only that, but they assumed, because they ‘knew’ him and loved him, he’d feel the same way in return.
He never did. They weren’t people he’d call friends. They had no life experiences in common with him. The only commonality was the music, and even then they didn’t experience it in the same way. To them it was a product; something packaged, shiny and complete. Whereas he birthed the damn stuff, taking lyrics either he or Spook had written and then scratching out the chords and rhythms that filled his head. He worked at it, transformed and nurtured it, until he had something good.
‘How far are we going?’ he asked, growing tired of the cold.
Ahead of them the car park formed a vast dark stain on the horizon, relieved only by the rainbow hues of oil-slicked puddles. Xane lifted his hand to his face to brush back his hair, whereupon streaks of kohl ran into the grooves between his fingers. ‘Where did you say you were parked?’
‘I didn’t.’ She gave him a tight smile. ‘It’s this way. I’m not in the main car park. It was full. I had to settle for a side street.’
He followed the clack of her heels for what felt like miles, while watching the sway of her butt. He’d lay money on her only dressing like this for special occasions. The clothes didn’t sit easily on her back. She was so knotted with tension she seemed in danger of snapping something. Her hemline especially was giving her issues. Her small hands constantly smoothed the cloth.
Jeans and T’s, he predicted as her usual attire. Maybe the occasional floral dress that turned her into a frump.
Xane almost fed her a corny line about how great she looked in order to get her to relax, and because even in his piss-poor mood he could acknowledge she was a knockout. The dark colours suited her peaches-and-cream complexion, while the tight cut emphasised her natural hourglass curves.
Of course, he also considered the possibility that he and not the outfit was the source of her distress. She wouldn’t be the first woman who’d landed lovely foul-mouthed him instead of kinkmeister Spook or everyone’s sweetheart, Paul.
He caught her looking back at the lights of the stadium and decided it was definitely a case of wrong-guy syndrome. Well, she was going to be doubly pissed off when she realised that not only had she landed the booby prize, but he wasn’t interested in making out. His only plan for the night was to get home and get blotto.
If that made him a bastard, then so be it.
At least he’d saved her from being screwed by Ash. Not that she’d ever thank him for it.
‘This is it.’ She stopped under a street lamp, part way along the sort of side road he’d think twice about traversing in daylight.
The wind chased the strands of her now dripping dark-brown hair across her face, giving her a solemn, slight ethereal look. She was different from the sort of girls who normally offered to take him places, but then she hadn’t actually offered, only gone along with what he’d suggested – so far.
‘This is yours?’ He’d expected her to drive a girly city runabout, not a bloody enormous sedan. Maybe she wasn’t quite as inexperienced as she looked. Her whole image might be a sham to lure guys in. Half a mile down the road, she’d probably transform into some vampire bitch queen and suck him dry.
No matter, he’d take that chance just to be away from here.
Xane settled himself into the passenger seat, from where he checked her out for fangs. No evidence of them: she had small, neat white teeth.
She nervously fussed, making multiple checks before turning on the ignition.
A powerful rumble filled the vehicle.
‘Sorry.’ She slapped a finger across the CD power button, cutting his death growl off midway through one of the band’s earliest tracks. ‘I’m sorry.’ She backed up the car and proceeded to perform the slowest turn out of a parking space he’d ever experienced, but then he was used to Rock Giant slaloming the tour bus as though it were an Aston Martin and not a converted double-decker.
‘Been driving long?’
‘Six months. How about you?’
‘I can, but I don’t very often.’
‘I don’t suppose there’s much need when you’ve people to ferry you about.’
Was that a dig? He thought it might be.
‘Where are we headed?’ she asked as they approached the first junction. ‘You’re staying at the Whyteleaf, right?’
Wrong. He might have a room booked there, but he’d never intended to occupy it. Not when he had a bolthole within an hour’s drive.
‘May I?’ He pulled his phone from his pocket and jacked it into the port on her dashboard. It was the work of moments to feed his postcode into the satnav app and have it start bleating instructions. The grating female voice made him want to cut off his ears, but it beat him having to give directions. All he wanted to do was switch off and forget.
‘Is that thing reliable?’ she asked, casting it a dubious glance. ‘It’s not likely to direct me into a ditch, or get me to do U-turns in the middle of the motorway?’
‘That’s where common sense comes in,’ he said, ticking a finger against his head. ‘You have some, right?’ Though evidently very little if she was prepared to put up with him.
‘Not sure.’ She cast him a dark look. ‘I just agreed to give a lift to a guy who looks like an axe-murderer.’
Chapter 5 (#ulink_d422d1f6-f05d-5301-8276-4d0fb1b9bb7c)
Dani tried to keep her eyes on the road, but her attention kept slipping sideward. Xane Geist was in her car.
Xane Geist, for Christ’s sake!
Insane.
She’d never imagined Ginny’s plan for them to meet the band would actually amount to anything. Of course, her friend would probably kill her the next time they met for running off with Xane. Dani rather wished her friend were here. Ginny would know what to do. Ginny wouldn’t have been driving at 50mph on the motorway because she was shit-scared of what came next. She’d probably have had the shirt off his back by now, and be well on the way to an orgasm.
Dani wasn’t nearly so bold. There’d been few men of any significance in her life. However, she knew enough about rock stars to guess where driving off with one was likely to go. The frightening bit being her apparent willingness to go along with it. She knew it wouldn’t mean anything to him. He probably had a different girl at each stop on the tour. For one night he’d get wicked with her, have his fun and then be on his way. Come morning, he probably wouldn’t even remember her name. Not that he knew her real name now.
Her experience would be very different. She’d remember tonight for ever, whatever happened. And there would be repercussions. She could already hear Sister Anna’s voice in her head pleading for her soul, like that batshit-crazy mom out of Carrie.
If the possibility of them discovering she’d attended the gig wasn’t bad enough – Black Halo were the devil’s own spawn – then confessing to sleeping with a band member would probably see her subjected to an exorcism.
She rubbed her right wrist against her thigh, and fought not to grimace over that very real possibility.
Dani sneaked a look at Xane, which instantly replaced her frown with a goofy grin. She still couldn’t believe it was him.
Xane was busy removing his cat’s-eye contact lenses. She’d always wondered what colour his eyes really were. She guessed she’d finally find out.
He turned, and caught her staring. Amusement flickered at the centre of two storm-grey eyes.
Dani hastily turned away.
‘Do you have any water?’
‘Um, yeah. In the footwell behind you. I don’t know if you’ll be able to reach.’ They both stretched to get it at the same time, bringing them into unexpectedly close contact. For a split second, his lips were level with hers and a mere inch away.
And, oh, my God, her libido abruptly revved up and started painting lewd pictures of what she’d like to do to the guy across the inside of her brain; like kissing him for starters, and tasting those crooked devil’s lips. Maybe peeling his clothes off or digging her fingernails into the pert cheeks of his butt.
Xane flicked the tip of his tongue against the ring in his lip. ‘Road,’ he reminded her. ‘I got it.’ He leaned back against the headrest, holding the bottle.
Yeah, road! She jerked upright in time to avoid drifting into the traffic occupying the middle lane. One guy beeped her, so Xane gave him the finger.
OK. She needed to concentrate. She didn’t want to be known as the girl who killed Xane Geist.
Xane popped the cap off the bottle and took a swig. He pulled a blister pack of pills from his jacket pocket and pressed out two white tabs.
‘Hey!’ she objected, as they went into his mouth, followed by another slug of water. ‘What are you doing? What are you taking?’
‘Calm down, Mum,’ he retaliated. ‘It’s legal. Here.’ He chucked the blister strip onto her lap. ‘There, you can check ’em out for yourself, make sure I’m being a good boy.’
Somehow, Dani managed to convince her fingers to uncurl from around the steering wheel to allow her to pick up the packet. ‘What is this?’ An unfamiliar brand name was embossed on the foil. ‘Are they painkillers or something?’
‘Nap time,’ he explained with a shrug and a yawn. He turned partly away from her and sank deeper into the seat with his knees drawn up. ‘Prod me when we arrive.’
‘You’re – you’re going to sleep?’ How far was he expecting her to drive?
‘Shh, don’t talk. I need to switch off.’
OK. This was one weird-ass evening. It certainly didn’t conform to any of her rock-star fantasies, which primarily involved lush beaches and eating canapés with champagne at midnight.
Maybe the backstage pass was to blame. If Xane believed her to be a member of staff, that would explain the arrogant assumption that she was available to ferry him home.
Damn, she thought, biting her lip. She’d never expected him to love her, but now she had him within her grasp, she’d hoped the whole lust thing would at least be mutual. So far, it really didn’t look as if that were so.
Chapter 6 (#ulink_66f1e90a-c3f1-5024-95fd-fb21d20e7627)
‘You have reached your destination.’
Dani cut the engine, thankful that the whiny woman had bleated her last. She unbuckled her seatbelt before turning to Xane, who hadn’t moved for the last forty minutes. He faced the door, with his knees drawn up towards his body. A shroud of black hair masked what little she could see of his profile.
Lucky for him Dani wasn’t the sort to molest a sleeping man. That was assuming he was actually asleep and not merely avoiding conversation.
Based on the fact he’d taken pills to switch off, she generously supposed the former.
Actually, thinking on those lines, it seemed a shame to wake him. Maybe exhaustion accounted for the gig being cut short, although that didn’t explain Ash Gore’s remarks as they’d left. It sounded as though the band had had a bust-up. She hoped it wasn’t serious.
Dani tentatively prodded Xane’s shoulder, hardly daring to make physical contact with him, half convinced the resulting feedback would zap through her synapses causing her to spontaneously combust. He didn’t stir, not even to grunt.
‘Xane.’ Dani risked a second jab into his shoulder. This time he yawned and stretched, so that the muscles flexed beneath his shirt, reinvigorating Dani’s pulse. Would he freak, she wondered, if she leaned over and licked the back of his neck?
What was she doing even contemplating such an act?
‘We’re here. I think.’
Xane glanced at his phone, which currently displayed an image of their current location, overlaid with the words ‘Destination Reached’.
‘Back up, and swing us round. Then take the first left. It’s just behind the rise.’
‘All right.’ Good to know their destination wasn’t actually a field. Dani restarted the car and followed his instructions.
Xane unplugged his phone from the car charger. ‘Now, turn in here. Just pull up in front of the house.’
‘House’? If you were being super-kind, maybe. The building she drew alongside could more accurately be described as a brick shed. Weren’t rock stars supposed to own swish penthouses, not ten-by-ten cattle barns?
‘What is this place?
Xane mumbled something that might have been ‘bolthole’ as he clambered out of the car.
Dani tentatively climbed out too. The night wind whipped across the open countryside and nipped her bare arms. Mud underfoot sucked at her shoes. Only the sight of Xane leaping about beneath the orange glow of the security light convinced her not to get straight back into the car.
‘Keys,’ he muttered, before launching himself towards the eaves again. His T-shirt rose as he stretched, giving her a tantalising glimpse of his torso. No doubt about it, Xane hit the gym on a regular basis. He was ripped to perfection, the muscles clearly defined. Rather intriguingly, a faint trace of hair led down from his navel, under the waistband of his leathers, and probably all the way to his loins.
OK, she was not pursuing that thought. Thinking about the package he had hidden there only raised her blood pressure.
‘Gotcha!’ Xane finally snagged the key from its hidden hook. He blew off the cobwebs before applying it to the lock.
‘Come in if you dare,’ he remarked before stepping inside, leaving her alone in the dark.
She wasn’t sure if that was a challenge or merely an invitation. Either way, she accepted.
Besides, it wasn’t as if he was welcoming her to a vampire dungeon. At worst, this would turn out to be his shagging shack, home to two thousand scented candles, an iron rack and an oversized four-poster bed. And crossing the threshold would automatically grant him licence to debauch her in whatever manner he fancied. That didn’t seem so bad, although she intended to have a nice long chat with him before any shagging took place.
If any shagging took place.
Gah – why did her brain fog up at the mere thought of him naked?
A light flickered on inside the building. Dani squelched forward onto the raised porch. She kicked off her shoes before entering.
Curiously, the interior didn’t reek of incense, nor were the walls painted black. There was no rack, or iron maiden, and no cobwebby alcoves harbouring human skulls.
A single twisted ironwork candelabrum was the only significant nod to the gothic horror genre, otherwise the place looked more like a forester’s hut, all reclaimed wood and earth tones. Maybe he hadn’t been clear on his vision when he’d spoken to the designer, or hadn’t owned the place very long.
A collection of photographic prints covered the back wall of the single-roomed building. Dani wandered over to take a closer look. The images more than made up for the general lack of demonic accoutrements. Goth porn, she supposed you’d call them: all blood, skulls and depravity.
She turned away quickly as heat infused her cheeks. It seemed Xane enjoyed some pretty extreme stuff.
‘My cousin’s a photographer,’ Xane explained, confirming her suspicion the images were of him.
He was leaning against an age-blackened cabinet. The jacket and the collar he’d worn around his neck now lay in a heap beside him. ‘I commissioned those as a photo-book accompaniment to our second album. Sadly the record company vetoed the lot – something about them being pornographic, and it being bad practice for me to get my kit off if we wanted to be taken seriously. Of course, it would have been a different story if I’d been a girl.’ He scowled. ‘Anyway, enjoy. I think my cock’s out in most of them.’
‘What makes you think I want to see it?’
Oh, God, she sounded so prudish. Ginny would laugh. Her friend would have made a detailed study of every image and then insisted on a real life comparison, and would probably have taken a few extra snaps of her own.
Xane did laugh, be it somewhat humourlessly. ‘Oh, right! You mean you’re here to enjoy my riveting company and not so that I can bang you into oblivion?’
Dani planted her hands on her hips. ‘I’m not easy.’ None of this had been her idea. Yeah, she was attracted to him, but he was being exceptionally obnoxious making such assumptions and she was tempted to call him a dick. The Xane in her head wasn’t nearly so crass. He was a gentleman, even if he looked like a scary beast. Sadly, reality wasn’t quite matching up. ‘You wanted a lift,’ she reminded him. ‘I drove you. We never discussed anything else.’ He probably didn’t need to. Likely enough he took it as read that if he went home with a girl, he’d pulled.
‘Yeah – and why is it you did that, if you’re not interested in my ass?’ He turned slightly, and probably deliberately, so that he presented her with a damn good view of his rear inside his black leather jeans. Now he was plain teasing her in addition to being an ass. And was it really necessary for him to sound so scathing?
‘What would I do with it?’
She’d curl her fingers into it. Squeeze all that tight, firm muscle, that’s what. And then maybe lick him for good measure.
‘I’m sure I can’t imagine.’ Xane eyed her thoughtfully from over his shoulder. ‘Well, now,’ he said, his tone softening. ‘If you’re really not interested, that makes you a whole lot more interesting.’ He rubbed his lower jaw, smearing the remains of the make-up the rain had already wrecked. ‘Are you staying for a drink?’
Given that her heart had already suffered one too many shocks, she’d gratefully accept a nice cup of tea.
Xane reached up and cracked open a cupboard. When he again turned to face her, he was clutching a bottle of vodka by the neck. ‘Just so you know. I intend to get completely wankered.’ He waved the bottle in her direction, before gesturing to the sofa to indicate she should sit.
Dani frowned.
One glass of vodka would get her tipsy; two would likely have her flat on her back with her thighs apart. With the exception of an occasional glass of wine with a meal, she was virtually teetotal.
Meanwhile, Xane knocked back several shots. After the fourth or fifth, when she still hadn’t replied, he poured another and offered it to her.
Dani closed her hand around the glass, already anticipating fire in her throat and Xane inside of her. The vision was so real she gave an actual gasp, as the flesh between her thighs became warm and damp.
Everything ached.
Xane smirked. ‘And that’s before you swallow.’
Dani shot him an angry glance.
He raised his hands in surrender. ‘I’m just saying, maybe you shouldn’t be on the hard stuff.’
Still vexed, Dani gulped a mouthful of vodka. The fluid ignited her taste buds, burned as it flowed down her throat bringing tears to her eyes. No matter, she refused to let them fall. ‘Don’t you have any mixers?’
Xane groped around in the cupboard and produced a bottle of cola. ‘This do? Say when.’
She gripped the glass tightly with both hands to keep it steady as he poured. Of course, he had to come closer to do so. Close enough that he was at least partially in her space, and wafting his delicious scent in her direction. It raised the hairs on the back of her neck, while further excitement pulsed between her thighs. If he touched her again, as he’d done earlier, she’d probably pass out – that or crack the goddamned glass with her grip.
‘So, Sally.’ Xane reached out, and claimed the all-access pass from around her neck. After a swift glance, he cast it into the wastepaper basket. ‘Who are you really? Give me a name. I like to know who I’m talking to.’
So he knew the pass was stolen. The realisation that she’d been caught sobered her a moment. It was hardly a surprise. Of course Xane knew his own staff. Regardless, Dani contemplated maintaining the façade. Given that Sally Kettering hung out with the band, she was probably a whole lot worldlier than Dani, and more assertive too. Sally had probably slept with most of the band three times over and didn’t see anything wrong with that. She was free, like Xane, and like Ginny. Not hung up on morality and what people thought of her, nor so scared of what might happen that she was figuring out a host of different excuses for why she might have to leave at short notice.
‘You know she has a moustache, don’t you?’
Dani blinked at him in surprise. She’d never got a proper glimpse of Sally before the theft. All she remembered was a woman in black, a description which probably described three-quarters of the women at the gig.
Xane shook his head. ‘She doesn’t really. I just made that up. She’s got at least ten years on you, though. What are you, about eighteen?’
‘Twenty,’ she replied indignantly. ‘And I’m Daniella … Dani.’ Out of habit she stuck out her hand for him to shake.
‘Hi, Daniella.’ Xane accepted her hand. His grip was pleasantly firm, although the bite of his numerous claw rings made it faintly disturbing. ‘I’m –’
‘– Xane Geist,’ she finished for him. ‘Lead singer and mastermind behind Black Halo.’
A flash of something – not appreciation, pain perhaps – swept across the surface of his eyes. He blinked, and it was gone. ‘– Alex. My real name is Alexander.’
She’d read that in an interview. ‘So do I call you Xane or Alex?’
‘Whichever.’ He released her hand. ‘I can’t say that I much care for either at the minute. Call me what the hell you like. Dickhead, was it, you were thinking a minute ago?’
‘I’ll stick with Xane.’ It’s what popped into her head complete with an exclamation mark every time she looked at him. How could one man be so bloody scrumptious? Despite him sitting close enough to touch her, he still seemed a fraction unreal.
‘Um, aren’t your claws kind of uncomfortable?’
Xane looked at the rings, as though he barely remembered he was wearing them. ‘Most girls like them.’
‘Why? Don’t they scratch?’
He gave her a significant look. ‘I think that’s the point.’
‘You wear a lot of jewellery.’
‘Yup.’ He began stripping it off. Claw rings first. He dropped them with a thunka-thunk onto the coffee table. Numerous leather wrist straps followed. That left a stud through his tongue, in addition to the lip ring, and hoops in his ears and through one eyebrow. His throat lay surprisingly bare, now he’d removed the collar.
‘So, Dani – if you’re not here to shag me, what are you here for?’
Dani opened her mouth to begin, but Xane cut her off.
‘And don’t mention the lift again. You were hanging out backstage with a stolen pass around your neck. So you were there for a reason. Were you after one of the other guys?’
‘No.’
Xane eyed her cautiously. ‘Journalist? If you’re a journalist, I’m going to kick your butt out of here.’ He slammed his empty glass down on the table, making Dani jump.
‘I’m not a journalist.’ She shrank back against the sofa. Would anyone admit to being, after that threat? ‘I was backstage because of my friend Ginny. She really wanted to meet you guys. She got us into your dressing room, but I wanted to watch the gig, so I left her there and … and then I walked into you.’
‘I see.’ Xane dispensed with his glass in favour of swigging straight from the bottle. ‘So, you left your mate in my dressing room. Isn’t she going to wonder where you’ve gone?’
‘Um … probably not. I mean, no. We arranged to meet back at our hotel.’
‘But you’re not at your hotel.’
Yes, she had actually noticed that.
‘I doubt she is either. If she’s met one of your band mates, then she’ll probably be a while, right?’
Xane gave a half-hearted little shrug. ‘Is she hot?’
‘Um, I guess so.’ Dani got out her phone, thinking maybe she ought to call Ginny anyway, just in case she had arrived at the hotel and was wondering where she’d got to.
‘Don’t,’ Xane advised. ‘Ash’ll be shagging her.’
‘He might not be.’
Xane shook his head. ‘No, really, he will be. She’s wearing a short skirt, right? She’s in our dressing room, and she’s not like you. He’s probably had her forwards, backwards and is working on upside down by now.’
She couldn’t help laughing at the notion. ‘Does he have a set routine, then, for giving girls … what they want?’
‘How would I know? I’m a bloke.’
Good point.
‘Could I have a cup of tea, please?’
He shook his head. ‘No teabags.’
‘Oh! OK!’
‘Nip out and get some, if you like.’
‘Are you asking me to leave?’
‘Didn’t say that, did I? Stay if you want. I figure, at least if you’re here I won’t be found dead tomorrow face down in a pool of my own vomit.’
‘Oh!’ Dani shuffled forward to the edge of her seat in alarm. Was that likely? Given the way he was knocking back vodka as though it were spring water, maybe it was, and perhaps a supply run wasn’t such a bad idea. He was going to need a boat-load of painkillers in the morning. ‘Shouldn’t you slow down?’
‘I told you my aim was to get wankered.’
Why did he need to?
‘I know, but if you continue to gulp spirits like that you’re going to hurt your throat. Think of your tour dates. You’re going to disappoint a lot of people if you can’t sing.’
‘I disappoint a lot of people even when I do.’ A dark shadow swept across his face. Even through the make-up she recognised the tightening around his eyes. The set of his mouth turned particularly sour.
‘Did something happen?’ she asked. ‘I mean on stage. ’Cause the gig ended early, didn’t it?’
There was no way Black Halo had been on stage more than twenty minutes. What was that – four songs, maybe? Also, she knew enough about bands to realise they hung out together post show, talked to the fans, that sort of stuff. Xane had whisked her out of the building as fast as possible. He hadn’t even gone back to the dressing room. But it was the conversation with Ash on the way out that was the real giveaway.
‘Yeah, it ended early.’
She waited patiently a moment for Xane to elaborate, but he had his mouth glued around the bottle top again.
‘Want to talk about it? Did someone muck things up? Fry your sound boards, or something?’
Xane spluttered vodka over his lap and the nearby furnishings. ‘You think I’m swilling this muck because of a blown amp?’
‘I don’t know.’ She folded her hands into her lap. ‘I guess not. What did happen, then?’
‘We split up. It’s over. Black Halo are no more.’ He stood and gave a theatrical bow, though it was obvious his mockery was a mask.
‘No.’ Dani shook her head, praying that if she denied it then it wouldn’t be real. But his speedy getaway, not wanting to speak to Ash, and now the vodka – it all added up. So did the soul-deep hurt swimming in his eyes.
‘Dead. Dead. Dead,’ he reiterated, as if he were stabbing the remains just to make sure.
Still, for a moment her brain refused to process the message. Then her stomach lurched. The vodka she’d swallowed burned a second time as it clawed its way back up her throat. She didn’t vomit, but a cold sort of emptiness filled her chest, making it painful to fill her lungs. It couldn’t … it couldn’t be. Why would they split? They were doing so well. Their popularity and fan base grew with each successive album. She couldn’t quite make herself ask him the reason. Everyone knew he was the band’s driving force, and that he lived and breathed it. It was that passion, his dedication, which had made Black Halo into the global success story they were.
‘You’re lying,’ she said clutching at straws.
‘No.’ His lips pursed tight.
The blood drained from Dani’s face. The room swirled.
‘Hey!’ Xane nudged her shoulder. ‘I thought I was the one who got to be melodramatic about it.’ When she didn’t respond, didn’t even look at him, he leaned closer still, with his eyebrows quirked upwards. ‘It’s my band. My life that’s gone to hell. That means I’m the one who gets to have a breakdown, not you.’
Chapter 7 (#ulink_948c092f-3c28-5b2d-8255-d791e725d087)
‘No, no, no!’ Dani refused to believe that Black Halo had split, on stage. That was mega! Not some little tiff over artistic differences that would be mended in a couple of days.
‘Are you going into shock?’ Xane worried the ring in his lip. ‘Shit! You are.’ He dropped the vodka bottle in order to catch her. ‘Sit down. No. Lie down.’ He forced her onto her back along the length of the leather sofa. ‘Christ! Chill out, woman.’
Dani did feel odd, sort of hollow and prickly. Not numb though. Numb would have been preferable.
Xane swayed in and out of her field of vision. ‘Hey, it’s not that fucking big a deal. It’s just a band.’
Except she knew from the way he said it that he didn’t believe that any more than she did. It wasn’t just a band. It was his life.
‘Just don’t pass out, OK?’ He lifted her legs so that her feet rested on the sofa arm.
She didn’t want to keep still. This was a major deal. If the media had picked up on the story, the group’s demise had probably already been reported on the late-night news. Music journalists would be picking over the carcass, interviewing anyone available for their opinions. This couldn’t be. Other bands split up, but Black Halo was a constant. The only constant in her world that wasn’t associated with effing St Agatha’s.
‘You’ll re-form,’ she managed to croak. Tears were beginning to gather in her eyes. Soon enough they’d spill, and then she wasn’t sure she’d be able to stop them.
Xane shook his head. ‘No.’
Why did he have to be so blunt – so bloody honest? Couldn’t he at least pretend it was an option?
‘I ought to have known something would go wrong with this evening. I couldn’t experience an ordinary trip out to a gig to see my favourite band. Oh, no, I get punished for it. Anyone else that meets you gets their shirt signed. I get … I get … this!’ She threw her arms wide for emphasis. It wasn’t fair. Didn’t he realise that he was breaking her heart. Black Halo were her lifeline – the little bit of rebellion that made everything else, all the shit she endured, more palatable.
She began to hyperventilate.
‘Stop it,’ Xane growled. ‘I mean it. Really, fucking stop it. You’re scaring the shit out of me, lady. And I don’t let anyone scare the shit out of me.’ He was big enough and menacing enough for her to believe that. Given his six foot two frame, she doubted anyone had ever managed to truly cow him. He’d laugh off Sister Anna’s threats.
And it wasn’t that she was trying to be dramatic. She just couldn’t deal …
‘Goddammit. I was hoping we didn’t need to do this.’ Xane kissed her square on the lips. Not a peck, or anything soft, but a full-on smacker of a kiss.
He tasted of alcohol and sin and … whoa!
‘There, does that help?’
How in God’s name was that supposed to help? Now she had no breath left in her body, and her heart didn’t know what to do. It stuttered, trying to decide between triple time and cardiac arrest.
‘Again?’ Bastard smiled grimly at her, showing off his crooked demon’s teeth.
He didn’t wait for an answer, which was lucky, because she couldn’t have formed one. He just dived right in and did it, like it was no big deal to be kissing a woman he hardly knew in order to save her from passing out. Although she suspected that more often he caused women to faint.
Damn, he tasted good, of peppermint and fire; much nicer than the starched linen of her pillowcase, which had so often stood in his stead.
Xane’s fingers slid across her cheek and into her hair.
Dani closed her eyes and arched towards him. Mm, yes, that was nice. Not so shocking this time. Her brain was functioning well enough to treasure the brush of his lips against hers, and acknowledge the odd pressure of his lip ring. She responded too. Not with fire, but with total submission. She let him have his way. Let him stamp his mark on her.
Her body went limp. Her mouth opened, allowing him to slide his tongue inside. No one had ever really kissed her like this before. She’d never desired them to. Normally, kissing seemed quite messy and silly, a bit slobbery and gross.
Xane rewrote the experience as a new and fabulous thing, possessed of subtleties and glorious sensuality. He led her in a merry breathless dance, their tongues duelling for long precious moments.
Xane held himself above her, his body stretched out, though she couldn’t recall him taking that position. He just seemed to arrive, and it felt right.
Not that they were touching anywhere save their lips and where his hand cupped her head.
When he finally pulled away, Dani looked up at him with her mouth open. She wanted more. No pretences. He could sink right down onto her – into her, even, maybe … Her gaze strayed along the length of his body, taking in the tautly drawn muscles that she longed to explore.
What if she actually put her hands on him? Touched the firm stretch of skin between his belly button and the top of his fly? Something about that part of a man fascinated her.
Xane was breathing hard. His gaze locked upon her face. ‘Getting ideas?’ His lip curled slightly as he spoke. ‘Suppose I should be thankful you’re not about to expire any more.’
‘I wasn’t going to.’ She pushed at his shoulder, suddenly aware of how close they were.
‘Good. I don’t need any more drama.’
‘You didn’t have to do anything. I’d have been all right. It was just a shock.’
‘Yeah, right!’ He crossed his arm defensively, which rather suggested he didn’t believe her.
Dani couldn’t work him out. A few minutes ago he’d been annoyed over the fact that she might desire him, and now he seemed riled that he’d kissed her – but she hadn’t initiated it, and she wasn’t pressing him for more, quite the opposite, because she was scared stiff of where more would lead to.
They stared at one other uncomfortably until Xane lowered his head as if he meant to kiss her again, causing her to gasp. But he rolled off the sofa instead.
‘Stay there. I’ll fetch you a blanket.’
Dani sat up. ‘I don’t need a blanket.’ She was calm now. Well, OK, not exactly calm. Her heart rate had at least doubled in the last five minutes, but she wasn’t feeling quite so traumatised.
‘I’ll get one anyway.’ He hurried away, leaving her even more confused. Only by following Xane’s movement did she realise the cottage had another floor, accessed by a stairwell set into the wall behind the front door.
Xane returned more quickly than she’d anticipated, carrying a duvet he must have snatched straight off his bed.
‘This isn’t necessary,’ she protested, as he swaddled her in cloth.
‘Lady, you nearly passed out a minute ago. Maybe you’d like to explain what that was about? And maybe you’d like to tell me your surname before I have to accompany you to A&E.’
Dani chewed her lip. OK, maybe her reaction had been a little over the top, but he’d taken her by surprise. ‘You’ve got me through some bad times,’ she said, feeling her eyes fill up. ‘It’s hard to hear you won’t be around in the future.’
‘I’m not dead.’ Xane cleared his throat. ‘I didn’t say I was going to stop making music, just that the band’s defunct.’
Yes, but was it even possible for him to go it alone? The metal genre consisted of bands, not solo artists. Xane Geist belonged in a rock band. And that band had to be Black Halo, because when it came down to it, it wasn’t only Xane who made up the group. Ash, Spook, Rock Giant, Elspeth, even Steve Matlock on drums, they all had their roles to play. It was their combined influences that made the band. Wasn’t it?
‘Will you speak to Ash tomorrow?’ she asked, recalling the lead guitarist’s attempt, when they were leaving the arena, to set a timetable for negotiation. Not that she’d understood at the time that’s what it was.
‘No.’
‘Why not? He might have a plan to get you through this.’
‘He won’t.’
‘But how do you know if you haven’t talked …’ She stopped, Xane wasn’t listening, and he’d returned to the bottle. Only a small dribble remained in the bottom, most of the contents having spilled onto the floor. He stared morosely at the dregs, then swallowed them.
‘You know getting plastered isn’t going to help. You need a clear head to patch things up.’
‘And you need a hearing test. It’s over. And you still haven’t given me a surname.’
‘It’s Fosbrook, OK, and I’m not about to pass out.’
‘Next of kin?’
Dani shook her head. No. They weren’t going there. Xane was never, ever, ever meeting her mum, talking to her mum or getting anywhere near anyone who could be vaguely construed as her family. If something happened to her while she was with him, then it was better they weren’t informed.
You’ve kissed the devil, Dani. You’ll have to atone.
She quickly shut out the voice of Sister Anna in her head.
She hadn’t kissed the devil, only a man. And really he’d kissed her. She hadn’t initiated anything. They couldn’t chastise her for that. It was totally in the spirit of St Agatha. She’d been passive and meek.
But you enjoyed him kissing you. You want him to do it again. Admit it, you little whore, you’re dying for him to take off your shirt, fondle your breasts and pull down your knickers. You want him to shove his great big dick inside you. You’re turned on just by the idea of looking at it. That’s why you keep sneaking glances at those photographs.
Not to mention the ones she was stealing at his crotch. He might have an overly high opinion of himself and a sucky attitude, but, whether he understood it or not, he’d seen her through many lonely nights. Perhaps it was only fair that she saw him through this one in return.
‘I’ll sleep on the couch,’ she announced.
‘Will you now? I don’t remember offering.’
‘You just handed me a duvet.’
‘I’ll be needing that back on my bed. Maybe that’s what you’re angling for.’
‘No.’ She pushed herself into the corner of the sofa away from his glorious body and his heady scent, fighting the near irresistible urge to say ‘yes’ and jump right on top of him. ‘I’ll be fine here.’
‘I’m not fine,’ he said as though he didn’t expect anyone to acknowledge he’d spoken. For a moment, his mask slipped and she saw right into his heart, knew his pain, recognised him as the man who’d written all those lyrics that made so much sense to her.
Taking a deep breath, she asked, ‘Why have you split up?’ Maybe if he shared the problem it wouldn’t seem so insurmountable.
‘It doesn’t matter,’ Xane huffed, shaking his head. He chucked the empty vodka bottle in the direction of the waste bin. It missed and rolled back towards him, so he kicked it under the sofa. ‘It’s just how it is. Everything has to end sometime. Now’s that time for Black Halo.’
She didn’t buy his attempt at being philosophical.
‘But something must have caused it. Maybe if you told me what it was I could …’
Xane’s jaw locked so rigidly she could see the tick of his pulse beating beneath the skin.
OK, scratch that idea. He wasn’t going to get into the nitty-gritty of why he’d taken a machete to her dream band, because – and she had to remind herself of this fact – they weren’t actually friends. Xane didn’t know her from any of the other countless women who fought their way backstage on a nightly basis to meet him. The nights they’d spent together supporting one another through untold woes were fantasies, nothing more.
Contrary to what Ginny believed, and what Xane himself had assumed, Dani’s primary fantasy about him didn’t involve sex, although she wasn’t entire guilt-free in that department. Certainly, if he kissed her again she’d probably make a complete twit of herself, by not being able to keep her hands off him, thus destroying the façade that she wasn’t interested in screwing his pants off.
Primarily, Xane was her silent guardian. The person she spoke to in the dark when she was alone. Xane was the one who understood her pain. When he sang, he expressed all the things she couldn’t: her fears, her stolen childhood, the hollow ache left behind by her father’s departure. Xane held her hand and chased the monsters away.
One could hardly blame them for running. He was pretty scary in all his stage paint. Even now, when he was so obviously hurting, his shocking visage still had the power to scare the beejeezus out of somebody.
‘Should I phone someone for you? Maybe if you had a close friend come over, they’d be more help.’
‘I don’t have any close friends. I spend all my time with the band.’
‘OK.’ It looked as if it was her or nothing. She lifted one corner of the duvet, inviting him in. If he refused to communicate, maybe they could sit in companionable silence. They didn’t have to talk, or drink or kiss. They could simply be here together for a while. ‘How about we forget the band for a while. Why don’t you tell me what you’re feeling instead? And why you’re so chewed up inside.’
Xane contemplated her invitation without moving. He stared at her as if he wasn’t convinced she was real. After a long, uncomfortable pause he asked, ‘Do you know what it’s like to have to give something up because it’s so bad for you it’s destroying you? Has anyone betrayed you like that? Someone you thought you could trust? Someone you really loved?’
‘Yes,’ she admitted. Yes to all of it.
They way he looked at her with those pale-grey eyes, like he could see right into her, made her feel horribly exposed, but she endured it, and fought the urge to clam up.
‘I’m not suggesting what we’ve been through is the same, but you’re like me – you’re hurt in the same way. You’re tearing yourself apart trying to please people, while utterly failing to please yourself. It’s all in your lyrics. That’s why I liked you.’
She’d said it now, everything she’d ever really wanted to say to him. Admitted it all, and there was no way of taking it back.
‘I see,’ he said, biting his knuckles. He turned away.
‘Xane,’ she said tremulously.
He froze with his shoulders hunched. Very slowly, he looked back at her. ‘I need a shower. And to wash this crap off my face.’
Dani caught hold of his hand. ‘I like it, even if it’s smudged.’
His fingers curled against hers and briefly squeezed tight. She thought he was saying thank you, until she looked up and realised he was swaying and was probably just holding on for support.
‘Are you going to manage?’
‘Don’t know. Are you offering to give me a hand?’
Somehow, she didn’t think he meant with the taps. Immediately she released her grip, pulled both her hands under the duvet and tucked them under her bottom. ‘Probably best if I don’t. You said yourself, you’re not interested in being jumped.’
‘What if I’ve changed my mind?’
‘You haven’t.’ He was just feeling lonely and he was drunk.
‘Why’d I kiss you then?’
‘Because you were being kind. Kissing me was nicer than slapping me as a reminder to pull myself together.’ If he really wanted her, he’d remember that in the morning.
‘I only slap women’s bottoms,’ he remarked absently.
Even though she didn’t think he meant anything by it, the notion still left her feeling strangely tingly. Not that she found anything remotely erotic about punishment.
‘Are you sure you don’t want to get dirty with me?’
‘I thought the idea of washing was to get clean.’
A brief, wan smile stretched his lips. He turned and walked back to the stairs, only fractionally unsteady on his feet. ‘You’ll come if I holler, right? In case I slip over.’
‘I’m sure you’ll be fine.’
‘But if I’m not, you’ll come, won’t you, Dani? It probably won’t look good if I smash my head open in the shower the same night the group split.’
‘I’ll come,’ she promised, and sincerely hoped he wasn’t going to cry wolf. Seeing him naked would probably fry what few brain cells she had left.
Chapter 8 (#ulink_8b335ddf-f37e-5feb-b393-810bb3f455e8)
Xane staggered downstairs.
What the hell had happened? A short while ago, he’d been ready to swear off love for ever. He intended to lock himself in a darkened room, get blind drunk, pass out on the floor and not wake up until Thursday. Instead, there was a pleasant buzz in his veins that had very little to do with alcohol and far more to do with the girl on his sofa.
Talk about being confused.
It was probably just his battered heart looking for something, anything, to cling to; being worshipped by a pretty girl sure beat being lonely. And Dani wasn’t like the chicks that normally sneaked backstage to accost him. All they ever seemed to want was to strip him bare and use him as a life-sized masturbation aid. The fact that he was a person, with a past and a future, with opinions and sensibilities, entirely passed them by. Most of them didn’t even care which member of the band they were with. They just wanted a rock star. And, with the exception of the odd one who wanted him to sing while she went down on him, they didn’t give a fig about his music.
Not only had Dani opted to keep her clothes on, he’d also lay money on her being intimately acquainted with every word, every chord and riff that he’d ever released. Also, she seemed to see through his guise to the real him.
Maybe that’s why he was intrigued. She was right; he did pour everything into his music.
Of course, he’d spoilt things by attempting to get physical with her. He’d blame the alcohol, but actually some habits just died hard.
Not that he’d meant to kiss her. He’d … well, he’d panicked, and did what he always did, opened his mouth when he ought to have kept it closed. Even that oughtn’t to have led to anything – but the taste of her had got to him, all sweetness and innocence. He’d felt her apprehension, even as her excitement took over, and then he couldn’t stop himself. His heart might be bruised beyond recognition, and his head knew exactly how bad one-night stands were for his soul, but neither had apparently informed his cock of that fact, hence the growing wedge in his pants that was making it difficult to walk. All of which left him with a hard on and nowhere to put it.
No big surprise there either, since he’d been acting like a Grade A prick from the moment he and Dani met: accosting her, using her as a taxi cab and then lumping her in with Black Halo’s usual class of groupies. It was a miracle she hadn’t slapped him yet, and no surprise at all that she wasn’t interested in servicing his ache. It wouldn’t surprise him if she slipped into the night while he was down here, and drove home.
He’d have to applaud her good sense if she did, right after he’d lamented not grabbing her number. He paused, hands braced against either side of the narrow stairwell. Maybe he ought to get that now, except it’d make him look even more of a dick. Better to stick to plan A and clean himself up.
Xane misjudged the bottom step and landed on his arse. God, he was a mess. A stinking, fucked-up mess. And a fool too for thinking that alcohol might right everything. Alcohol had never worked for him for blotting out pain. It only added to it. If he’d really wanted to lose himself for the night, he ought to have lurched back to the hotel with Ash and double-dipped with whoever his lead guitarist had managed to pick up en route. They could have made one gloriously long and sordid night of it, and he wouldn’t once have thought about Steve, or Elspeth, or the band, or been tempted to prod his heart to see if it hurt.
It always fucking hurt! That’s what unrequited love did to you.
Nor would he be stuck in purgatory with a girl he fancied but who wasn’t going to spread her thighs on command.
He actually liked her for that.
Besides, sleeping with her because his day had been shit, and he felt like shit, and she was the only thing around in his life at the moment that didn’t start with ‘S’ and end with ‘it’, wasn’t a great plan. It’d render the act and both of them cheap.
But then, he was pretty cheap. Much as he liked to kid otherwise. Ash might be known as the Black Halo playboy, but Xane had enjoyed easily as many partners.
‘You’re screwed up, mate.’ He gurned at his reflection in the mirror. His stage face was smeared all over the place, and he’d already taken his contact lenses out, so the real him was creeping through the cracks. ‘Shower,’ he ordered himself. Then, if he was sensible, he’d crash out and leave that poor girl upstairs alone. It wasn’t like screwing her was going to mend the gaping hole in his chest. Just because she’d shown him a bit of empathy, a little compassion, didn’t mean she could fix anything.
Stripped naked, Xane stepped under the shower-head. For several minutes he let the water run over his tired limbs. Make-up washed away, the kohl leaving black tracks across his body. Only once his mask had flowed down the drain did he let his hand stray towards his remarkably stubborn erection.
Damn thing wanted some action, same as it always did when his emotions took a nosedive. Considering the years he’d spent conditioning it to do just that, he could hardly complain. Sex had always been a nice easy way of blotting out reality. He blotted out a lot of reality.
Yup, he definitely ought to have made a night of it with Ash. Pointless pleasure; his body knew all about that, even if it didn’t seem entirely right to be turned on after everything that had happened.
Xane closed his eyes tight and rewound the last ten minutes. He imagined he was back upstairs, stretched out above Dani on the sofa. Better that than dwelling on the lover he’d lost.
That kiss had seared him with its heat, but the lady had been in shock, so he’d refrained from getting gropey. Only now she was staring at him with her plump lips parted and her breathing unsteady. Desire filled her eyes. Yet she wasn’t the sort to make the first move.
‘Do it,’ he silently commanded. ‘Reach out and take what you want.’
Perhaps she heard him. Perhaps some other influence guided her hand, for she reached out to him, first touching his face, then his neck.
Xane braced one hand against the glass wall to maintain his balance, and then let his other hand wander. Each tentative caress, he imagined Dani making. She remained timid, but he liked her caution. She seemed eager to explore his body and to discover its secrets, rather than immediately zeroing in on his cock as though it were his only erogenous zone like most of the other lovers he’d known.
Her fingers lightly stroked the side of his throat. ‘Yes,’ he murmured in approval. His neck had always been sensitive. He could get off from being touched there alone. OK, from slightly more than a touch. He liked to be bitten, but even feather-light kisses were enough to make him tremble.
Her attention didn’t linger there. It swept downwards, encompassing his collarbone and shoulders, then the smooth expanse of his chest. She circled his nipples. Even wet them with her little pink tongue.
His nipples weren’t as sensitive as his neck, but no matter. Simply having her touching him was good.
Xane’s breath truly hitched when her exploration strayed just shy of his loins.
Oh, God, yes! he almost shouted.
Instead, he folded his palm around his erection. A few swipes of his thumb, and he was one hundred per cent ready for action. It sucked so much blood out of his brain, he actually felt woozy. Still, he had no worries about his ability to perform. He was ready to give her everything she wanted, and a few things she hadn’t realised she wanted yet.
Xane wanted to feel the puffs of her breath against his cheeks and hear the sharpness of her cries as she gave herself up to him. With her soft curves clinging to him, he could forget about the band and everything else. He could sink into the moment, exist for a time in a realm where there was nothing but pleasure.
However, Dani wasn’t done with her exploration yet. Instead of inviting him between her thighs, she kissed a slow pathway down his body, following the route her hands had already traversed. Her long hair tickled as it brushed his lower abs.
Fuck!
She paused, painfully close to his cock. If he persuaded her to turn her head a fraction, he could pump right into her mouth. Xane held back, stifling his urge to direct her. He suffered her teasing instead, imagining countless whisper-soft kisses on his inner thighs and around the base of his cock.
He wondered if she’d ever gone down on a guy before. His instincts said probably not.
God, to be her first … to feel her heat and her kiss, and know he was the only person she’d trusted like this. Most of the mouths he’d fucked were as dirty as their owners. Sometimes he figured that was all he deserved. Even his regular lovers were downright filthy beasts, but then, if he was being honest, so was he.
Xane pointed the shower spray at his stomach while he stroked faster.
‘Xane, I can’t.’ In his mind she was on her knees, her eyes shiny and bright when she looked up at him. ‘I do want to, but I can’t.’
‘One kiss,’ he coaxed. ‘I dare you. Just one dry press of your lips. You don’t even have to suck me. Just touch me. Draw your tongue along the slit.’
If she even did that much, he’d probably explode.
Desire and fear warred within her expression. ‘Like this?’ she asked. Her lips met the side of his shaft, then the underside. The tip of her tongue traced a vein upward to the tip. She didn’t suck him. She toyed with him, until he was nearly ready to grab hold of her hair and force the issue. If she’d only open her mouth instead of delivering all those infuriating kisses.
Xane reached for her, only for Dani to rise to her feet. Still, her merciless tease continued. Now with her hand she clasped his shaft and rode up and down the length until his need became so maddening, he lifted up onto his toes.
‘Are you going to come over my belly?’ she asked.
If she continued to stroke her thumb over his slit like that, he very well might.
‘Wouldn’t you like to feel how wet I am?’
Greatly.
She guided his hand, the one he’d been using to brace himself upright against the cubicle, between her legs, where he found her slick heat, and made her swoon in turn.
‘I’m all ready for you, if you’d like to come inside.’
If he’d like to! ‘Babe, I’m desperate to.’
‘Then don’t wait.’
He wouldn’t. He wasn’t.
Their lips locked as his cock found its goal.
Wet. Slick. Glorious heat surrounded him. She was slender and so tight it almost hurt too well to move. Not that he could stop himself, the motion as instinctive as breathing. His need was too strong. It overwhelmed him, drove him, so that he shouted out her name, over and over, and she called out too, pouring words of need and encouragement into his ears, begging him to go deeper, to give it to her harder.
Even though he felt it coming, Xane’s orgasm still caught him like a whiplash. He roared as his cock jerked. The sound came from deep in his belly and he couldn’t seem to stop it, not until he was good and properly done.
His legs buckled beneath him, landing him on his knees in the shower tray. Pain screamed inside his legs, but he paid it no heed. For several minutes he rested, forehead pressed to the glass wall of the cubicle, trying to suck a lungful of air out of the humid environment.
‘You sad fuck,’ he muttered when he finally managed it, while the taste of his own tears mixed with the water spray.
When he eventually crawled out of the cubicle and through into the bedroom, it was on legs still composed of jelly.
The patter of feet sounded on the stone stairs. Then Dani stood right by him. ‘Are you all ri –’ She bent, but he still had to tilt his head to see her properly. Her heavenly legs went on for ever.
‘I heard a noise.’ She briefly pressed the tips of two fingers against his shoulder, and then equally quickly withdrew.
‘What noise?’ A loud buzzing filled his ears, but he guessed she couldn’t hear that.
‘A howl. It sounded as if you were hurt. You were yelling for me.’
‘I stubbed my toe,’ he lied, which naturally accounted for why he was on the floor. She didn’t need to know the sordid truth. That he’d been screaming over a fantasy he’d constructed about fucking her, because screaming in passion beat screaming in pain.
Xane got to his feet, using the foot of the bed for leverage. ‘It’s nothing. I’m OK.’
‘Um … Oh … All right.’
His movement seemed to be causing her some problems.
‘What I mean is …’ She clammed up. Xane watched in appreciation as her tongue peeped out and swept across her dry lips. ‘Um, do you … that is … do you need a towel?’ She gestured to the one lying on the bed within reach of his hand.
Xane picked it up and used it on his hair. He had no issues with showing a bit of skin, and he liked the way his full frontal nudity seemed to hijack her capacity for speech. ‘What?’ he asked innocently, in response to her wide-eyed stare.
He liked distractions. Distractions were good. Distractions meant he didn’t slip into a vat of poisonous memories that would only make him sick with loss.
‘Nothing.’ She half-turned away. ‘That is … you’re blond.’ She blushed a furious and deeply appealing shade of red.
Xane glanced down at his body. Sure, he was blond, but he’d spent so long dyeing his hair jet-black he often forgot that other people didn’t know that. ‘Nice to see you’re taking a meticulous account of my assets.’ He laughed, actually rediscovering his sense of humour from somewhere. It made the salt tracks on his face pull against the skin.
‘It’s not easy to avoid,’ Dani snapped defensively. ‘Oh, God, what am I saying?’ She covered her face with her hands. ‘I think I’d better wait upstairs.’
‘You could help me dry my back.’ He turned, presenting her with a rear view, and held out the towel.
‘Um, I’m not sure I should do that.’
What had ‘should’ to do with it? Fantasising wasn’t enough, Xane decided. He wanted to drown his sorrows with this girl. He wanted to know if she really was interested in him – Xane the person, not Xane the rock god. ‘My back doesn’t bite.’
‘The rest of you probably does.’
True. Nice that she realised it.
‘I think I’ll leave you to get dressed.’
‘I wasn’t planning to. It’s late.’
She straightened up. A startled gaze replaced her glow of embarrassment. ‘Yes, of course. I’ve stayed too long.’ She patted her outfit, but appeared to have left her mobile upstairs, so she couldn’t check the time. ‘I ought to get off.’
Yep, he’d definitely never met a fan like her before. And he knew it wasn’t lack of attraction holding her back, because she’d admitted the desire was there, and he could see it in her eyes anyway.
‘I’ll go fetch your duvet for you and then see myself out.’
‘Wait –’ too late, she’d already scampered off ‘– you’re welcome to stay.’ He probably sounded desperate, but … if she left now, he was doomed to a lonely night in hell, with nothing to distract him from mulling over Steve and Elspeth’s happy union, and the hole it had torn in his gut. If he could just manage to work his legendary charm, instead of acting like a prick around her, then …
Urgh! He bent over the sink feeling nauseous. A swarm of insane hornets had taken up residence in his skull. OK, he just needed to lie down a minute.
Xane flopped down on the bed and rolled onto his back.
Two seconds, and then he’d find some slouch pants and talk to her. Maybe she’d even listen and believe him when he told her what a bunch of arseholes the rest of the band were.
Chapter 9 (#ulink_9d4cf8c1-808c-565f-9251-98494341fcb0)
‘I brought you some water.’
Xane lay spread-eagled across the centre of the bed when Dani returned with the duvet. He didn’t move to acknowledge her arrival. Just lay there exposed with – how had he put it? – all his assets on display. And pretty glorious assets they were too. Not just his … his male bits, but the rest of him, pierced nipples, washboard abs, the swirls of black ink tattooed across his right thigh and other parts, and his … his cock. OK, her attention kept focusing in that direction, but how was any red-blooded woman supposed to resist when their idol was laid out like a gift? Most would have their phones out by now, capturing pictures. Dani didn’t require a photographic reminder; Xane’s image was now burned into her brain alongside the memory of him kissing her.
It didn’t matter that it hadn’t meant anything to him, because – oh, my fucking God – Xane Geist had kissed her.
Nope, she corrected herself. He hadn’t just kissed her. He’d outright propositioned her, and even knowing he was a player – hello, rock star – and regardless of what he’d said when he’d first invited her into his place, she was still ready to let him break her heart.
Dani bit her lip, trying to suppress the urge to molest him while he slept. She particularly wanted to follow that fascinating golden line of hairs that led down from his navel to the thicker bush around his cock. In fact, damn if she didn’t want to push her nose up against him and breathe in his scent too.
What the hell was wrong with her, thinking lewd thoughts about a comatose man? Remain calm, Dani. Keep it together. You’ve played it cool so far.
She tiptoed to the bedside and set down the drink she’d brought him. What a shame he hadn’t stayed awake to swallow it. He’d have a thumping headache in the morning.
‘Here.’ She tucked the duvet around his body. ‘You’ll get cold otherwise.’
Xane didn’t respond.
Maybe she ought to roll him into the recovery position, in case he was sick.
No. She’d leave him. That would be best. She’d go now and not touch him. Better that than for him to wake while she was manhandling him into position and had him across her lap.
‘Well, goodnight, Xane. I’ve enjoyed meeting you.’ She bent and pressed a dry kiss to his brow. ‘I won’t forget this.’
No, she’d be reliving tonight on a daily basis, imagining how things might have gone if he hadn’t passed out, and if she hadn’t been so timid. If she’d only touched him after he’d kissed her, or followed him into the shower, or even dried his back for him instead of standing dreaming of licking the water droplets from between his shoulder blades …
Damn him for sleeping. She wanted another chance. It wasn’t enough to say she’d met him, or that the sensation of his kiss had been imprinted onto her lips.
Maybe he’d forgive her for stealing one last keepsake. It wasn’t as if she intended to take anything that hadn’t already been offered.
Dani kissed her fingertips, meaning to blot them against Xane’s lips. But as she leaned towards him, she recalled the soft trace of his tongue and the odd pressure of his lip ring, and somehow her mouth met his. Even then, she meant only to press lightly before slipping away into the night.
One taste and her resolve broke. A tight spasm gripped her pussy. If only he’d awaken and kiss her back.
A mournful groan escaped her throat.
Xane stirred. Half-opened an eye.
Dani’s cheeks flamed and she tried to step backwards, but Xane’s hand slid into her hair and drew her closer again. ‘Hey,’ he drawled sleepily. ‘That’s not a proper goodbye kiss. Not that I know why you’d be giving such a thing.’ His lips parted beneath hers and sucked her with a firm but gentle pressure. The barest hint of his tongue tickled her senses. This is bad, she thought, even as she continued to fall deeper into his embrace. Her insides were molten. Dani longed to sink down on top of him so their bodies met, to feel his skin against hers. She wanted him to roll them both over so that he laid on top and his dark hair fell around them like a shroud. She wanted him. All of him. Wanted to know what bliss felt like, and not to be ashamed that she’d sought it out. Most of all, she wanted him to desire her as much as she desired him.
Xane took control. Sucking. Teasing her with tender nibbles.
Somehow, even though she knew this wasn’t sensible and though she tried – well, a little – she couldn’t pull away from his embrace. They might only have met for the first time tonight, but Dani couldn’t escape the belief that this man knew her. He understood. And the way he was kissing her, that wasn’t meaningless. It wasn’t only lust. He felt something, didn’t he? He kissed as if he was desperate, as if he was determined to cling on.
‘Stay,’ he urged. ‘Please.’
Dani took a deep steadying breath. She needed to get her brain switched on again.
‘I don’t know.’ Did he even properly remember who he was with? He was acting as if the love of his life were trying to leave him.
‘I do.’ His lips tipped upwards into a smile that showed just the tips of his eye teeth. ‘Just lie down beside me. If it’s what it takes, I’ll even promise to behave.’ He rolled, pulling her with him, so that she landed on her side in the middle of the bed. They faced one another, nose to nose. His hot breath puffed against her cheek.
‘Do you even know how to behave?’
‘Do I need to? Can you swear, hand on heart –’ he clasped her hand and pressed it to her chest ‘– that you want me to be … good?’
No. No way.
She guessed her lack of answer, or the sheen in her eyes, gave her away, for Xane pulled her tight against his body.
‘Wait,’ she gasped, before he devoured her. ‘Earlier you were adamant you didn’t want this.’
‘I never said that. I said, I didn’t want to be groped by someone who didn’t know crap about me.’
‘I don’t know you.’ She didn’t. Not really.
An irritable scowl briefly contorted his expression. ‘Don’t you? You seem to know me more than most.’ He coaxed her under the covers, where he sucked on her lips again, this time stealing both her breath and her senses. ‘Stay.’ He rolled onto his back, pulling her with him so that her head rested upon his chest. His hand remained in her hair, combing through the silken strands in a reassuring manner. ‘Please.’
Dani lifted her chin in order to look at him and caught another glimpse of his inner sadness. She knew then that she couldn’t leave. She’d always wanted to know the real him. The man behind the stage mask; the person responsible for all those impassioned lyrics she related to on so many levels. How could she not take the opportunity to know him better, even if she wasn’t entirely sure he was completely himself?
‘What are you so afraid of?’ he asked.
That their entire relationship would be played out in one paltry night, or even an hour. That he’d hurt her without ever meaning to. And that she’d be found out and punished for it.
‘I’m not actually a prince of darkness. That is, unless you want me to be.’
‘I’d rather you were just you.’
‘Would you?’ he whispered into her hair, so low she strained to hear him. ‘Then you’re the only one.’ He swept a hand down her arm, until he found her hand and clasped it tight. ‘Hold me, Dani.’
‘I’m not sure I …’ Daringly, she spread her fingers wide across his chest. Xane smiled encouragingly. He squeezed her arm. ‘Kiss me.’
She dropped a kiss upon his nose; rained soft kisses upon his face. Xane caught her, supped upon her lips. Boy, did this man know how to kiss. He turned her insides to jelly with only the curl of his tongue.
Dani shrugged aside her normal reserve. The skin across Xane’s chest was smooth and firm, warm too, animated by the persistent thump of his heartbeat. He seemed to like the way her caresses skittered over his body. Leastways, he did nothing to stop her exploration, until her attention wandered below his navel, stroking that slender line of golden fuzz. Then his stomach muscles abruptly twitched.
‘Careful,’ he warned.
Dani snatched her hand away.
‘I didn’t say don’t. Put your hand back. Just be aware of where you’re headed, that’s all.’
‘I am aware.’
‘Sure about that? Then you’d better know that I’m wide-awake.’
Dani rose up on her elbows so that she could look down at his face. ‘You don’t seem very awake.’ Actually, while his eyes still possessed a slightly glazed sheen, he did seem significantly more conscious than he’d been a few minutes ago.
‘Some bits are more alert than others.’
‘Then maybe I shouldn’t touch you there.’
‘I think you definitely should.’
He stroked a hand through her long hair until his palm rested over her lower back. The pressure set Dani’s tensed nerves ablaze.
What was she doing, pretending she could flirt with this man and in any way hope to win? He had the potential to burn her so badly there’d be nothing left but a melted gooey blob.
‘You’re trembling,’ he observed.
‘Am not.’ She cuffed him lightly, although it was true.
‘I dare you.’
‘You dare me to what?’
‘Act on the naughty thoughts you’re thinking.’
Dani put her hand back where it had been on his stomach, which caused Xane to suck in air between his teeth. His eyelids closed, as she began tracing concentric circles around his belly button. She knew this wasn’t what he’d meant, but she’d never really done this before. She’d hardly dared to move with the other guys she’d been with.
‘What do you want me to do?’
‘Whatever you’re comfortable with. It’s nice being with somebody who actually wants me.’
Dani rubbed her cheek against his chest. Even after his shower, the scent of his body proved enough to intoxicate. OK. She was going to take him at his word and seize this opportunity. She leaned over him and tongued the silver hoop through his nipple.
The ring turned beneath her mouth.
‘Yeah,’ he groaned. ‘Again.’
‘You like that?’
‘I like you.’
‘How much?’
His hands skimmed over her lower back, coming to rest across the top of her ass. ‘Keep doing that and maybe I’ll demonstrate.’
‘Only maybe.’ She sucked harder, tugging at the cool metal. Xane’s hips bucked right off the bed, lifting her too.
‘All right, definitely. Now come up here.’ He bucked again, trying to nudge her up towards his head.
‘I like it here.’
‘You’re torment, lady. I’ve another bit that needs your attention a whole lot more than my nipples.’
‘Let me guess, it’s long and thick and …’ And somehow she was saying things that normally she only ever thought, and never actually voiced.
Xane traced a heart-shape over the pulse point in his throat. ‘Come and kiss me here.’
Dani shimmied upwards a fraction to reach.
‘Mmm.’ His appreciation rolled through his body. Shivers of ecstasy chased through his limbs, and he tightened his arms, holding her against him. ‘Harder. Go on, mark me.’
Mark him!
‘Claim me.’
Dani had never understood the appeal of love bites.
‘Please,’ Xane whimpered, then grew stiff as she obliged. ‘Make me yours.’
Even now, when he turned his head to better expose his neck, and his sighs took on the heat of orgasm, she didn’t entirely get it. Tomorrow the mark would be a solid black bruise for the whole world to see. Yet there was no denying the impact on Xane’s libido. The harder she bit, the more he seemed to like it. ‘Yes! Harder. Yes. Don’t be afraid. Give it to me.’ He’d lost all hint of civility. ‘Touch me,’ he begged.
Dani didn’t need to ask where. She understood before his hand found hers and guided her downwards. He filled her palm with his heat, while she nibbled and licked at the bruise she’d made.
He showed her how to move, how to draw her hand all the way up from base to tip and curl her thumb over the head, using the drops of moisture leaking from his body to lubricate the journey.
‘Is it only on your neck you like to be bitten?’
‘I might have a few other sweet spots.’ He lifted his hips in time with the slide of her hand.
Dani stretched upwards, seeking out his mouth, which opened eager to devour her.
Whoa – he was super-eager. His hands were all over her, making a frantic attempt to find a way inside her clothing.
‘Hands off,’ she insisted, holding his wrists still on either side of his head. ‘Slow down, you’ll get your turn. Now, me first.’
He sought her gaze, clearly comprehending her intentions.
‘Let me do this for you, Xane.’
‘You don’t have to do anything.’
No, she didn’t, but he wanted her to regardless of what he was saying. She could see it in his eyes: bold excitement, and a hint of desperation. If she didn’t touch him, he’d die, but it would be no little death. ‘I’ve dreamed about doing this.’
Without further prevarication, Dani shimmied down the bed so that her head lay level with Xane’s hip.
Whore! She could already hear her mother wailing in despair over how dirty she’d become. It’s not wrong, she wanted to yell back. It’s not. It’s perfectly normal to want to do this. Especially for him.
Xane was every fantasy she’d ever had made flesh.
‘You’re pretty big.’ No way was she going to fit all of him in her mouth.
‘Only a little above average.’ He guided her head into place. ‘Kiss me, Dani.’ She rubbed her lips against the tip, then opened her mouth and let him in. ‘Aaah! Oh, hell, yes.’
The unfamiliar taste of him filled her mouth. She sucked, aware of the pulse that throbbed hard within in his cock each time she exerted any pressure. An echoing beat soon pounded between her thighs, leaving her uncomfortably aroused.
Xane’s hands wove into her hair, stroking, kneading. She might have minimal experience at this but it didn’t seem to matter. Xane was plenty appreciative.
Suck a little, stroke a little; flick her tongue against the sensitive bit around the slit. Oh, yes, right there, like that, and he bucked right off the bed. Maybe this was a little dirty, but who damn well cared? She loved the way he jumped, and all the sounds he made deep down in his throat, like he’d lost the ability to speak.
Dani, amongst many, loved Xane’s voice, but she believed few had ever heard him croon like this. It made love knots of her insides.
‘Come up here and let me give you some fun,’ he insisted.
‘No.’ Dani resisted the tugs upon her arms, despite feeling plump and achy between her thighs, and so slick that her panties were a sodden mess.
She liked the sensation of him in her mouth too much.
‘Dani, I’m close.’ His hands fisted and released around the bottom sheet. ‘Keep it up and I’m going to come.’
That was the plan. She wanted him to let go. The taste of him was already thick on her tongue. She wanted to give him this pleasure. Have him come right in her mouth so she could swallow him down. Her head bobbed faster as he strove to pull her up into his arms.
‘Don’t fight it, Xane. I want you,’ she insisted, clasping his hands within hers to stop his tugging. ‘Let me.’
‘You’ll have no joy of me –’
‘Shhh.’ She teased his slit with one … two … three kisses, and then returned to her eager sucking. He still hadn’t entirely given in, although his movements were becoming increasingly jerky. ‘Ah, lady … you’re undoing me.’ Suddenly, his muscles locked tight.
Truly?
‘Oh, man … here it comes.’ He made a noise like a grunt, and his release poured out of him.
Warm jets of semen filled her mouth. Delighted, Dani swallowed. She stayed with him, feeling every pulse until his shaft lost its vigour and slumbered like the rest of him.
He’d passed right out. Completely comatose.
Dani gave his cock one last kiss, then his stomach several more. She shimmied her way up his body, her own arousal still eating her up. ‘Xane.’ She kissed his chin, but he didn’t stir. ‘Bugger!’ What did one do in this situation?
She’d never before slipped a hand between her thighs and sought relief, unless she was entirely alone and hidden in the depths of her walk-in closet, but damn – her front tooth punctured her lip, she bit so hard – she needed, was so very sorely tempted, to rub.
She couldn’t do that here. What would he think?
Nor did she want to leave his bed. What if he woke and found her gone? Would he then think her like all the rest?
She wanted him all over her. His hands and mouth seeking out her sweet spots, thumbs thrumming against her rock-hard nipples, Xane sucking her as she’d sucked him.
Her body didn’t know what to do with itself. It would be impossible to sleep.
‘Xane.’ She prodded his shoulder, but to no joy. He gave a soft grunt, nothing more.
How long would he sleep before he was ready for round two? Would she be insane by that point?
‘Xane.’
Tears in her eyes, Dani rolled onto her side as far away from his scrumptious body as she could get, which, given that he was sprawled right down the centre of the bed, wasn’t nearly far enough away to grant her any sort of privacy.
She needed to come so desperately …
‘Hey, why are you right over there?’ Xane followed her to the edge of the mattress, where he spooned up against her back. ‘You’ve done a right number on me. I think my brains are in my feet.’ He draped one arm over her hip.
Dani stiffened over the positioning, but need overrode her fears, and his heat against her back intensified the wildfire burning along her nerves.
Her tight-fitting clothing stuck to her feverish skin.
Xane’s fingers crept beneath the hem of her skirt, making her tense further. God – she needed him to do something before she expired.
‘Time I demonstrated a few mad skills of my own.’ He breathed close to her ear. ‘You didn’t think I’d leave you wanting, did you?’ His thumb hooked under the outer edge of her underwear, then drew back and forth, back and forth under the seam, driving her insane.
‘Xane, I need …’
‘I know, sweetheart. I’m going to take care of it.’ His index and middle fingers tucked under the inner edge of her panties, and brushed into her curls.
Down a bit, she prayed, biting her lip. Desperate, she lifted herself into his touch. Her clit throbbed. Suddenly, Xane had her sprawled on her back and his large body was over her. His hips wedged into the space between her knees, while his head lay level with her navel.
Glossy black, iron-straight hair shrouded his face, brushed his biceps and tickled her skin where he’d nudged up the hem of her top. The faint trace of stubble on his chin scraped against her belly. If she hadn’t been so desirous, then she might better have anticipated what came next. Xane didn’t understand that her need didn’t require him to peel her clothes off. He tugged. He lifted.
Dani frantically captured his hands and held them in place against her stomach. ‘Don’t take anything off,’ she insisted.
Xane rested his chin against her waistband. ‘Nothing? Are you going to undress yourself?’
Dani bit her lip hard. She shook her head.
‘So I can’t taste these?’ He flicked his index fingers across her tightly steepled nipples, which poked prominently against her clingy black top. ‘Or suck, right here?’ He tapped two fingers against the top of her mound. ‘Where’s the fun in that?’
‘You can do both those things, just don’t undress me.’
He arched an eyebrow. ‘Kinky. A bit weird … but I kind of like it.’
‘Oh, fuck!’ Dani sighed as he drew one taut nipple into the heat of his mouth in a way that shot pulses of pleasure down to her already needy pussy. If he touched her down there, she’d … she’d explode or something. She’d never experienced excitement like this: the anticipation, waiting for him to work his way down her body; the torment of each and every slow kiss. He nibbled and sucked at the edge of her tummy button, explored its depths with his tongue, until her clit grew impossibly hot and swollen.
Dani spread her thighs, opening for him as he crept lower and lower.
He sought her gaze, begged permission with two silvery-grey eyes. Please, Dani. Let me taste you.
She arched to him as Xane dipped his head. His tongue slid against the bud of her clit. Even dulled a little by the layer of sodden fabric, it electrified every cell of her body.
‘It’s no good, Dani.’ His tongue danced along the seam of her knickers, darting beneath where it could, but never seeking its true goal. ‘These pretty things have got to come off.’
He didn’t allow her to deny him, simply ripped them off and flung them away from the bed.
‘Now,’ he said, staring at her bared sex. ‘Now the real pleasure begins.’
Dani thought she knew what to expect. After all, he wasn’t the first guy to put his tongue on her clit. Only no one else had ever kissed her there with such a show of devotion. He made love to her pussy, the same way he kissed her lips, with an explosive mixture of passion and reverence. Xane teased. He nibbled, until her juices covered the whole lower half of his face and Dani had her toes stretched to points as pronounced as the peaks of her nipples.
A desperate ache built in her womb. Every time he touched her, she jumped a little. It was too much and not enough. Unable to grasp hold of Xane, she sought purchase for her hand on the pillows, and then the underside of the headboard. With her braced thus, her first climax struck her hard. It rippled through her limbs, relaxing her, only for her muscles to tense again immediately. Xane kept on riding the wave of energy with her. He shoved her legs wide, urging her to bend her knees and open up completely to him.
He pushed two fingers inside her and curled them while he drummed a rapid tattoo against her nub, then used his thumb to sweep over the delicate puckered ring of her anus.
Dani’s pulse raced, struggling to keep pace with her rapid breaths. ‘What are doing?’ she gasped, shocked by how much that filthy touch turned her on.
‘Giving you a good time, I hope.’
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Madelynne Ellis
Тип: электронная книга
Жанр: Современная зарубежная литература
Язык: на английском языке
Издательство: HarperCollins
Дата публикации: 28.04.2024
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О книге: On stage he’s dynamite. Off stage he rocks her world.From Madelynne Ellis, author of best selling Mischief books ‘Anything but Vanilla’ and ‘Her Husband’s Lover’, ‘Come Undone’ is a passionate, sexy romance that will leave you breathless.When red-hot, Goth-metal band, Black Halo, split live on stage, fate throws Daniella Fosbrook into the path of sexy vocalist Xane Geist. Initially, Xane’s only looking for a ride home, but Dani tempts him in a way a thousand other women haven’t. Determined to explore their heady chemistry and avoid hashing things out with the band, Xane whisks Dani off to Monaco for a steamy weekend.There, Dani tries her best to hang onto her heart and some clothing, while Xane soon loses both. However, Xane isn’t being entirely honest about the reason for the band’s demise. When the truth comes out, can Dani accept the facts, or will everything come undone?