After Midnight
After Midnight
Katherine Garbera
Countdown to a kiss…At the stroke of midnight, Lindsey Collins will finally kiss Carter Shaw. A former championship skier, Lindsey had a life of all training and no play until a devastating injury sidelined her. Now she’s ready to put her good-girl ways behind her and kick off the New Year with a little fun…and the sexy snowboarder is the perfect distraction!Now that Carter has Lindsey in his arms for one mind-blowing night, he’s not giving up. He'll do whatever it takes to break through her Ice Queen exterior and show her he’s more than just a fun time. But how can she believe in him when she can’t even believe in herself enough to return to skiing–and all that she’s worked for?
Countdown to a kiss...
At the stroke of midnight, Lindsey Collins will finally kiss Carter Shaw. A former championship skier, Lindsey had a life of all training and no play until a devastating injury sidelined her. Now she’s ready to put her good-girl ways behind her and kick off the New Year with a little fun...and the sexy snowboarder is the perfect distraction!
Now that Carter has Lindsey in his arms for one mind-blowing night, he’s not giving up. He’ll do whatever it takes to break through her Ice Queen exterior and show her he’s more than just a fun time. But how can she believe in him when she can’t even believe in herself enough to return to skiing—and all that she’s worked for?
“The countdown is starting...”
It had already begun, Lindsey thought. It had started ten long years ago, and now it came down to this moment.
Three, two, one...
She went up on tiptoe, wrapped her arms around Carter’s neck and met his mouth with hers.
His hands on her waist tightened as he drew her closer into the curve of his body. His chest was firm against hers. Solid. He held her as if he wasn’t going to let her fall. Let her crash. And that was exactly what she needed.
Her pulse was racing, and little tingles were shooting down her body. Turning slightly, he moved them a few steps off the dance floor.
She felt the hard wall at her back and the warmth of Carter’s skin through his shirt as he pulled her closer.
She needed more. So much more from him at this moment.
“Want to get out of here?” he asked.
She nodded. Tonight, she was impulsive...
Dear Reader (#u5df39c43-8816-5d30-ac4b-6dac9cd1209c),
Happy New Year! Do you make resolutions? I do. I’m shameless in my love of making lists and then working until I can check them off. Lindsey hasn’t had the best year, and she’s determined to make this new one count. She’s starting over after a career-ending injury, and honestly, the last person she really wants to see is hotshot snowboarder Carter Shaw. But he’s been flirting with her for forever, and she’s tired of denying herself. Hey, it’s New Year’s Eve, so why not, right?
Of course, those kinds of decisions always have consequences, and one of them is the fact that Lindsey actually likes Carter more than she expected. And he’s way more into her than a playboy should be.
I hope you’ll enjoy this conclusion to the Holiday Heat series.
Happy reading!
Katherine
After Midnight
Katherine Garbera
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
KATHERINE GARBERA is a USA TODAY bestselling author of more than fifty books and has always believed in happy endings. She lives in England with her husband, children and their pampered pet, Godiva. Visit Katherine on the web at katherinegarbera.com (http://www.katherinegarbera.com), or catch up with her on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/KatherineGarberaAuthor) and Twitter (https://twitter.com/katheringarbera).
This one is for Nancy Thompson and
Mary Louise Wells. Thank you for the gift
of your friendship.
Contents
Cover (#ua93ed4d8-cbfb-5512-9277-dad4c67911a0)
Back Cover Text (#uaf0e9c40-d8dd-5592-9fdc-36ed372c6d96)
Introduction (#udaf32ea8-6347-5aa2-9520-eb49f694de28)
Dear Reader
Title Page (#ubbff8bb6-9078-5eb5-9672-69d9453ca27c)
About the Author (#uf639fedf-9b6d-5d00-88ad-2702853cac0a)
Dedication (#u45301d98-5b66-5780-8fd0-bc0af03058fc)
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Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
1 (#u5df39c43-8816-5d30-ac4b-6dac9cd1209c)
“HELLO, GORGEOUS.”
Carter Shaw.
Bad boy, snowboarder and Lindsey Collins’ worst nightmare. Carter was everything she wasn’t, and if she was being totally honest, everything she sort of wished she could be.
“Hello, trouble.”
He laughed in that husky deep-throated way of his.
She tried to ignore the fact that his eyes were a kind of blue-gray that reminded her of early mornings on the slope just after the sun came up. His dark hair was thick and curly on the top, but at this moment cut short on the back of his neck. She’d seen him wear it a lot longer, but this sportier cut called even more attention to his handsome, gorgeous face. He had that sexy stubble that made her fingers tingle with the urge to touch it each time she saw him. And it didn’t help her libido that the guy had that relaxed vibe of someone who’d grown up in California. To her, he’d always looked as if he should be on a surfboard instead of a snowboard.
“Nice shindig,” he said. “If you like glamour.”
Briefly glancing away to check out their surroundings, she smiled despite herself. The club at the Lars Usten Resort and Spa certainly did New Year’s Eve in a big way. Lots of champagne. Lots of partygoers. Hats and horns for everyone. There was a large dance floor in the middle and banquettes around the end, as well as lots of high tables.
“I can do glamour,” she replied.
“You sure can,” he said with a wink.
“Are you hitting on me?” she asked. “You’ve always said you’d rather kiss your snowboard than a Super G skier.”
“Well, you are looking a lot better than my snowboard at the moment.”
Lindsey shook her head at the way he said it. There was something different about him tonight. He wasn’t his usual cocky self. They were both here this evening because of the wedding of their two friends, Elizabeth and Bradley. The newlyweds had long since departed and she had stayed behind because it seemed a little too Bridget Jones to be sitting all alone in her barely furnished condo on New Year’s Eve.
Up till now Lindsey had never been a big fan of staying up until midnight on New Year’s Eve. What was the point? Her entire life had been spent training to win an international gold medal—and kissing someone at midnight really kind of paled in comparison to that goal. Or at least it had. But tonight...she felt a little wild. A little out of control. And if she was being completely honest, she felt like doing something she’d never do otherwise.
Last year was supposed to have been her year, and she’d crashed and burned playing by the rules and following her plan. She’d suffered a humiliating fall in a practice run in Sochi that had ended her career and changed her life. Instead of attacking the changes with her customary gusto, she’d settled into a sort of limbo here in Park City, Utah, at the Lars Usten lodge.
It had been so easy to do. The resort was cushy; her students at the lodge were cute and undemanding. The past six months or so had given her the chance to take it easy and slowly recover from more than knee surgery.
But this year... Well, this year all bets were off. Starting right here right now. The band was playing Van Morrison’s signature hit, and she shot Carter a brazen look. “This is my song.”
“Your song?”
She pointed to her eyes. Oh, God, was she really doing this? “‘Brown Eyed Girl.’”
Yes, it seemed she was.
“Then let’s dance,” he said, grabbing her wrist and leading her onto the dance floor. He swung her around to face him, and she let go and pretended she didn’t know all the things she knew about Carter.
That he played fast and loose with life and women. That he was a rebel risk taker who had caused more than one accident on the slopes. That he liked to put his hand on her hip and hold her close while they danced.
And he smelled good. A clean, crisp scent that reminded her of being outside and on the slopes.
She turned away from him.
She wasn’t herself tonight. She should dance off the dance floor and out the door. Go home and forget about trying to be something and someone she wasn’t.
Except she was lost.
Really lost...and she needed something to make her feel alive again. Something that going sixty miles per hour down the side of a mountain used to do but couldn’t anymore.
“Gorgeous? You okay?”
No. Definitely not okay, but confessing that to Carter wasn’t something she was going to do.
“Just thirsty.”
“Let me get you a drink. Grab us some seats and we can chat.”
“What would we possibly have to chat about?” she asked. “The charity event to get kids skiing that we’re both working on. I know that’s not until next November, but we are both playing a key role in it.” His eyes gleamed with mischief. “Or the fact that, come midnight, I’m going to kiss you. I’ll let you pick.”
Suddenly tongue-tied, she watched him turn away and slowly weave his way through the crowd. He was popular, and everyone stopped him to chat or snap a quick selfie. And he smiled and acted as though he enjoyed it.
Heck, he probably did. She’d heard her coach say he loved the spotlight and the spotlight loved him. And she’d never seen any evidence to the contrary. How did he do it?
She wished there was some way she could claim his confidence for herself. To make herself into the invincible badass that Carter was. But the truth was she wasn’t that type of girl, and no matter how much she tried, she wasn’t going to change overnight.
Part of the problem was that she’d just come from an incredibly romantic winter wedding that seemed to emphasize that she was alone. Added to that, the bride’s maid of honor, Penny, had recently hooked up with Will, her handsome vacation fling, which was quickly turning into something that was bound to last a lot longer.
And she was alone.
Lonely.
Desperate...
No. Not desperate. Though it did feel that way until Carter came back with a lemon-drop martini for her and some kind of mixed drink for himself. He slid in next to her at the high table instead of across from her and draped his arm along the back of the seat.
He canted his body toward hers and she thought, What the hell. She wasn’t going to start another year the way she had all the rest. This year was going to be different, and Carter Shaw would be hers tonight.
* * *
CARTER HAD WANTED Lindsey since the first time he’d seen her. They’d both been two hotshot seventeen-year-olds being interviewed on ESPN, and when she’d looked straight at him with her pretty chocolate-brown eyes, he’d felt that spark shoot through his body.
But she’d always been the ultimate ice queen. Too cool for someone as wild and risky as he’d always been. But he’d gotten to know her better now. More than ten years later, he still wanted her, but he saw her through the eyes of a man and not a lusty boy.
Though, in all honesty, gazing at her now, looking like a gorgeous goddess, she still made him horny as hell.
And it was New Year’s Eve. He’d spent more of them than he wanted to admit higher than the Rocky Mountains and with people whose names he couldn’t recall.
He knew he’d changed over the course of the past year. The winter games had given him a check in the last box of his goals list. And it had been a sobering wake-up call when he’d witnessed Lindsey crash and realized his Nordic angel had feet of clay. Seeing her career end so quickly and unexpectedly had made him understand that he needed to look at his own life. He wasn’t going to be able to snowboard forever at the top level of his event.
So he’d come here to Park City... Okay, in part to be closer to her. To see if maybe she’d be interested in him now that she wasn’t so focused on training 24/7. But she still looked straight through him, as if he was just another man in the room. He wanted to be the only man in the room she saw.
Especially tonight.
“So, gorgeous, have you been thinking about that kiss?” he asked smoothly.
He sure had. It was hard to think of anything else when he was standing so close to her. Tonight she had her long, pale hair pulled back into an elegant updo. Tendrils framed her heart-shaped face and accentuated her long neck. Her mouth was full and sensuous, and she’d coated it with a sparkly lip gloss, which made it so hard for him to tear his gaze away. He leaned in closer. Almost kissed her before he pulled back.
He was waiting for midnight.
Besides, he had more control than that. He didn’t give in to his baser instincts. Not anymore.
“I can tell it’s been on your mind,” she purred, lifting her hand and running her finger over his lower lip, back and forth, before spreading her fingers out and rubbing them over the stubble on his jaw.
She closed her eyes as she touched him for just a second, nibbling at her bottom lip before her hand dropped away.
“I have. You know I’ve been interested in you forever.”
“Forever?” she said. “That’s a bit of an exaggeration.”
Not really. But admitting to her that she’d been his obsession for the better part of ten years wasn’t something he planned to do tonight.
The band had switched to contemporary dance hits, and the loud, infectious beat pumped through the room. Lindsey swayed to it as she took a sip of her lemon-drop martini. It was sad that he knew what she liked to drink. But in a way she’d always been his safe fantasy. The one thing in his life, however distant, that was good and always just out of reach.
Until now.
He wrapped a wispy tendril of straight blond hair that was hanging along the nape of her neck around his finger. Her locks were exquisitely soft. Her skin, showed off by the stunning emerald-green dress she wore, so pale and creamy.
“Not an exaggeration. When we met at ESPN, I knew I wanted to kiss you.”
She pursed her lips and tipped her head subtly away from him. “You were a player even then. And we both know you were attempting to throw me off my game. I almost let you.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“My parents. They had sacrificed a lot for me to get where I was, and no hotshot snowboarder with a tattoo was going to change that.”
“With a tattoo. Is this a mark against me?” he asked, rubbing the side of his neck at the site of his first tattoo. It was a courage symbol that he’d seen in Japan when his father, an international businessman, had taken him there for a trip. Carter had been sixteen at the time and had snowboarded in Nagano while his father had worked. The tattoo had been his way of getting his father’s attention while also proving to himself that he hadn’t needed it. What could he say? He’d been a teenager.
She traced the design with her long, sparkly painted fingernail. “Not now. But back then you seemed wild and reckless. Too much for me. I needed to concentrate on my skiing.”
“You were the fast one,” he said with a wink. He knew that a lot of people thought what he did was dangerous—the flips and the 360s—but Lindsey had thrown her body down the mountain at speeds in excess of sixty miles per hour. Something that never failed to turn him on.
She scraped her finger down the column of his neck, sending delicious shivers through his body, and his cock stirred. Seeing his reaction, she leaned in closer, closed her eyes and released a sigh.
“Why is it that you are always racing ahead of me, then?” she asked in a soft whisper spoken right in his ear.
His ability to think was gone. Her breath was warm and her finger kept stroking his neck. All he could think about was her mouth. And how close it was to his. He turned his head to kiss her. Needed to feel her lips under his. But a waitress bumped into their table, jostling the drinks, and Lindsey pulled back.
Carter cursed under his breath but put on a smile for the cocktail waitress, who looked stricken. “No worries.”
“These are for you,” she said, setting down two cards and handing them Lars Usten Resort and Spa pens before walking away.
* * *
IT WAS ONE THING to decide she was going to spend the night with Carter, but she was finding it altogether more unnerving than she would have expected. In movies she’d seen the woman go after the guy, and then there would be a montage of kisses or dancing that ended up with the couple in bed. But she’d always been awkward at this stage.
There was something about Carter that for her was irresistible. His tattoo had fascinated her for a long time, and that stubble of his was just as a soft as she’d imagined it would be. She was letting the martini power her courage tonight...and she had to admit she liked it.
A lot.
“What is this?” She pulled the card the waitress had dropped on their table toward her. He’d been about to kiss her, and though she wanted that kiss, she was glad for the reprieve. She only needed a kiss at midnight. Not a public make-out session before that.
“Some sort of resolutions form,” he said. “So, gorgeous, what do you want for this New Year?”
She arched a brow. “Why do you keep calling me that?”
“Because you are gorgeous,” he said with another sly wink. “Plus, I’m sort of afraid if I say your name, you’ll remember you don’t like me.”
“Ah, I wouldn’t say I don’t like you,” she demurred. He was a little too wild and too out of control to be someone she felt comfortable with most of the time, but tonight that appealed to her. She wanted to forget who she was. Forget the past year had happened and wake up on January 1 as someone else.
That was pitiful, she thought. She should stop drinking. She’d had two martinis, and while she wasn’t drunk, she did have that nice little buzz. But it was the maudlin thoughts that bothered her.
“Okay. What would you say about me, then?”
“I like that tattoo,” she admitted. “And your stubble. How do you get it so soft?”
He laughed. “I’ve got more tattoos if you like that one.”
“You do?” she asked. “Where?”
“I’ll show you if you play your cards right.”
She flushed a little. Not as bold as she wanted to be, but she wasn’t backing away. She was doing this. She was going to be impulsive. And daring. Not Lindsey-like.
Needing a distraction, she glanced down at the resolution list on the card. “Do you do resolutions?”
“Seriously?” he asked with a mocking look. “Do I look like someone who wants to better myself?”
She shook her head, but realized in that instant that he was playing at being the bad-boy snowboarder she’d always thought he was. “I’m not sure about that. I think there is a big part of Carter Shaw the world never gets to see.”
He shook his head. “Nah. I mean, there are those tattoos, but otherwise, what you see is what you get.”
She doubted that. She was on to him. Why did he work so hard to be something he wasn’t? For that matter, why did she? Because it was easier than letting the world see who she truly was.
“What food do you want to try next year?” she asked, reading from the list and hoping that she could keep her courage until midnight. Only another fifteen minutes. She wanted him. She wanted this New Year’s Eve to be different from all the rest.
“Food, eh?” He wrinkled his forehead. “Not sure. I’m going with one of my cousins on a trip in Iceland to see a reindeer farm. So maybe reindeer?”
“I bet it doesn’t taste like chicken,” she said with a half smile. “When is that trip?”
“In the fall. It’s a Northern Lights trip. We spend three weeks up close to the Arctic Circle living with the locals and watching each night for the aurora borealis.”
That sounded...cold, but intriguing. “Have you done anything like that before?”
“Nah. This is the first year that I’m not competing anymore.”
She looked at him in surprise. “What? Why not?” If not for her reconstructed knee, she’d still be training and focusing on four years from now. The next winter games.
“I have gold medals and more titles that one man could ask for. It’s time to set my sights on something else.”
“Such as...?” she asked, leaning closer. This is what she was searching for. What came after competing the way they had for most of their life? It was different for Carter because he’d been born with a silver spoon in his mouth. A little rich kid who got whatever he wanted. But that had only carried him so far. She knew that he’d worked as hard as she had to get to the winter games.
“Not sure. But this is my year of adventure. My year to find out. I’m working on that charity you’re involved with to help kids get started in winter sports, because that’s new for me. The old man is glad to see me giving back. Can you believe he said that to me?” Carter scowled. “I’ve given back a lot over the years.”
For a moment she caught a glimpse of the real Carter. “You have. I’ve heard about the board you developed. It changed snowboarding.”
“Yeah, that was nothing,” he said, flashing a grin at her. And the real man disappeared behind that flirty facade. “So what new food are you going to try?”
“Nothing exotic like you. I have a thing about dairy and have usually not eaten cheese. I know that sounds silly but this year I think I’ll give it a try.”
He lifted a brow. “Cheese?”
“Yes.”
“You seriously don’t eat cheese?” he asked.
She had friends who acted the same way when she mentioned it. “I don’t like dairy stuff usually.”
“Cheeseburgers?”
“Nope.”
“Pizza?” he prodded.
“Pesto-based pizza with fresh tomatoes. No cheese.”
“Weirdo,” he said.
“Like you’re normal!”
“Who wants to be normal?” he scoffed. “Okay...all kidding aside, what new thing are you really going to try?”
She looked at him for a long minute before the two lemon-drop martinis and her courage finally caught up with her mouth. “You.”
2 (#u5df39c43-8816-5d30-ac4b-6dac9cd1209c)
“ME?”
“Yes, you. Remember all those times you badgered me for a kiss?” she asked.
He did. It had been a game for him since that first meeting. He’d wanted her, but she was out of his league. A classy woman—even at seventeen—who wouldn’t give him a second glance. Of course, that hadn’t stopped him. He’d teased her relentlessly, invaded her personal space and kept clamoring for a kiss.
“The last time I asked I thought I spooked you,” he said, getting to the heart of the reason why he was really sitting with Lindsey Collins, who, despite her request for a kiss, would more than likely not end up in his bed this evening. He’d pushed her in Sochi. Had goaded her into agreeing that she’d kiss him if he beat his world-record time, and still she hadn’t.
Not that he’d ever really expected her to fulfill her end of the bargain.
To him it had seemed like a simple little bet. Something to push her, because it had been ten years of flirting and it had seemed ridiculous to continue playing that game. And he’d been feeling trapped by his coach and sponsors, who’d wanted him to sign a new deal to keep doing the same thing he’d always done. So instead of acting like a man, he’d done what he always did and sought out Lindsey before her run to demand what he’d always wanted from her.
“It wasn’t you. God, please, don’t think that crash had anything to do with you,” she said, reaching over to put her hand on his.
She leaned in, and the scent of her perfume filled the air around him. Her brown eyes were sincere as they met his. She squeezed his hand. “My crash was... I’m not sure what, but it wasn’t you. I’ve been over the footage a million times. I wish that was an exaggeration, but it’s not. I’ve watched it over and over again, trying to figure out what I could have done differently. Did you see how smooth I was at the top?”
“I did.” He’d watched her run like everyone else. But for him, he’d felt that sense of pride he always did in her. He’d thought this time she’d beat him, and maybe that would put an end to his pursuit of her. Because she’d told him if she won that was the end of his kissing taunts.
But instead she’d crashed midway through her run. Her body and skis tumbling over each other. His heart had stopped beating for a second. She’d looked small and fragile as she’d crashed into the bright orange safety webbing. Guilt and fear had warred inside him.
“Well, it wasn’t you. I think I hit the snow wrong out of the gate. My coach has a couple of theories, as well. But, honestly, I’m not so scared of being kissed that I’d crash.
“Kissed lots of guys, have you?”
She made a face. “A lady doesn’t tell.”
“Apologies.”
“But I don’t mind telling you that the anticipation with you has been killing me. I want to believe when you do kiss me it will be spectacular. However, given that it’s been ten years of waiting, I can’t rule out the possibility that it might be a dud.”
He laughed. Threw his head back and just forgot everything else in this moment except for Lindsey. She was as nutty as he was but just covered it up better.
“It might. Or it could be the best damned thing either of us ever experiences.”
She let go of his hand and settled back against the seat. “I guess that’s why I’ve made you my resolution.”
There was something different about her tonight. The wedding earlier had made him start thinking about things that he usually ignored. That and the fact that beginning tomorrow he was no longer only an athlete. He didn’t have to train every day; he was going to chart a new path.
“Champagne or sparkling grape juice?” the cocktail waitress asked as she approached their table with a tray of drinks.
The Lars Usten Resort knew the party was going strong. Behind her was another waitress with hats with the year marked out in glitter and some kind of horn.
“Juice for me,” Carter said. He didn’t want to dull a single moment of the night with Lindsey, and although he liked to believe he could handle whatever life had thrown at him, he did it better when he was sober.
“Juice?” Lindsey asked, arching one eyebrow. “Champagne for me.”
The waitress set their drinks in front of them, and then they were each given a hat. For him a top hat. For her a tiara. She promptly put it on her head and turned to bat her eyelashes at him. “Do I look like a princess now?”
“The queen should be afraid you’re after her title,” he murmured.
“As if. I’m not after anything. You’re lucky, Carter. Lucky that you still have snowboarding. Life is very strange when you don’t have to get up every day and train,” she said, taking a sip of her champagne.
Not exactly what he’d been hoping to hear. “I think you’re supposed to wait for the toast to drink that.”
She smiled mischievously. “Going to tell on me?”
He shook his head. “Your secret’s safe with me, Linds.” How could he possibly deny this woman anything? She enchanted him. And he had to admit, she was a total mystery. He’d teased and cajoled her for his own amusement but had never really taken the time to get to know her. Tonight was showing him that all the preconceived notions he’d had were wrong.
She wasn’t the ice queen she’d always been on the snow. She was real and fragile and so damned tempting...
* * *
LINDSEY HAD NEVER worn a tiara before. Even though this one was plastic with fake gems, she was still thrilled to be wearing it. It made her feel girlie. “This is my first real New Year’s Eve party. Pitiful, isn’t it?”
“Not really. Your life was focused in a different direction.”
“Yeah, but you were training and still found time to party,” she said.
“I’m good at multitasking,” he replied.
“Most men really aren’t.”
He gave her a cynical look. “Really? You want to do the whole ‘battle of the sexes’ thing? Tonight?”
She didn’t. She wanted to enjoy the fact that she felt like a normal girl instead of someone apart from the mainstream. The Ice Queen, the media had labeled her. But the truth was, she had gotten so used to keeping her feelings hidden it was hard for her to actually show them.
“Of course not. I had no idea your ego was so thin,” she teased.
“It’s not. But you should know if you throw down what you’re going up against.”
“What? That you’re the boss?” she asked, trying not to smile. Carter had been flouting rules and tradition since the moment she’d met him. She found it really hard to believe that he’d have some hard set-in-stone ideas about anything. But she did believe that if he got into a fight, he’d go full-out and leave nothing.
She was used to winning and knew how to get what she wanted on the slopes but, one-on-one, she had a gut feeling he’d beat her every time. Hard as it was to admit, she just didn’t know how to play a game like this.
She sighed.
Who was she trying to kid here? She wasn’t going to be any different in the New Year than she’d been before. When had she ever been anything other than a stick-in-the-mud, tall, outdoorsy girl who would rather talk about skiing than anything else? Even her own family found her boring at times. Though they were kind about it and would listen to her talk about a new position or when she liked to shift her weight, she’d known they probably weren’t really all that interested.
“Want to dance?” Carter asked, bringing her back to the present. “One last spin around the dance floor to ring out the old year.”
She nodded. “I’d like that. And I’m kissing you at midnight.”
“Should I be on guard?” he murmured, stepping down from the high table and offering her his hand.
She took it and stumbled a little in her high heels. Bracing one hand on his chest, she whispered, “Not really. I know you want to kiss me.”
His blue-gray gaze slowly drifted over her lips before he locked eyes with her once again. “I’m having performance anxiety now that you mentioned it. It might not be that great.”
“I doubt that,” she said. “You never have that.”
“I wish I was as confident as you seem to think I am.”
“Aren’t you?” she breathed, reveling once again in his brisk masculine scent. They were pressed close together due to the crowds streaming in to hear the last song of the year. “You walked into a boardroom filled with executives you ticked off by campaigning to make them let you snowboard on their slopes, and then convinced them to back your charity event. You’ve got nerve, Shaw.”
He had more than that. He seemed to embrace his life in a way she only had when she’d left the gate and started down the slope. She knew people thought what she’d done was dangerous, but to her it had just felt natural. It was a tightly controlled run down the mountain, and she’d spent her lifetime training. So she didn’t credit that for anything other than being something she was good at.
She wanted to throw herself out of the gate of life, too. But she was getting a little nervous now that midnight was approaching. Carter had kissed lots of women; she knew that for a fact from all the gossip in the athlete’s village at the winter games, and from firsthand accounts from other Alpine skiers over the years. As for her... Well, she hadn’t kissed that many men. And the few sexual encounters she’d had were hurried affairs that had left her feeling cold and wanting more.
She didn’t want Carter to be the same. She’d sort of set him on the sex-god pedestal in her mind a long time ago. What if he wasn’t?
Or worse yet, what if he was great and she was the dud?
Ugh! This was what happened when she stepped outside her nice, safe, little zone. Carter stared down at her with those intense eyes of his, and she hoped she looked intriguing or inviting but was afraid she might just seem confused.
“What?”
“We don’t have to dance,” he said softly.
“I want to.” She had in her head an image of New Year’s Eve, and it involved her looking glamorous, which, thanks to the beautiful dress she wore, ticked that box. And she had a very handsome, sexy man who’d just asked her to dance.
She took his hand in hers. It would be too much for the band to play “The Way You Look Tonight,” but in her mind she wanted them to. Instead they danced to “Wrecking Ball.” Something that didn’t speak well for love.
But this wasn’t about love.
This thing between her and Carter had always been about pure lust. And tonight she was finally going to cross the finish line. Get the kiss he’d been taunting her with since they’d met.
The funny thing was, she was just as scared about that today as she had been when she was seventeen. He held her close, and for just a second she rested her head on his strong shoulder. Pretended they were that couple in her mind. The couple who could gaze lovingly into each other’s eyes at midnight and share a kiss so profound it would rock both their worlds.
But then Carter squeezed her hip and slid his hand up the middle of her back.
She tipped her head back to look up at him.
“The countdown is starting.”
It had already begun, Lindsey thought. It had started ten long years ago, and now it came down to this moment.
She licked her lips and couldn’t help but focus on his mouth. Those chiseled, full lips nestled in that closely shorn stubble.
“Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five...”
“Ready?”
“Three. Two. One.”
She went up on tiptoe, wrapped her arms around his neck and met his mouth with hers. His lips were soft, surprising her into parting hers. His breath was warm and minty, and he held her loosely, but she was rooted to the spot.
Around her people were kissing and celebrating, but her world had narrowed to just Carter. Carter Shaw.
Of course, he kissed like a dream. He was the kind of man who’d had lots of practice, but this didn’t feel routine, like something he’d done a million times before. To her it felt special and it awakened the passion she’d tucked away after her crash. It felt as though she was finally able to relax again as he kissed her.
She held his shoulders, and his hands on her waist tightened as he pulled her closer into the curve of his body. His chest was firm against hers. Solid. He held her as if he wasn’t going to let her fall. Or let her crash. And that was exactly what she needed.
She framed his face with her hands. Ran her fingers over that soft stubble of his and then pulled back. But he followed her. Kissing her again, dropping soft and tantalizing kisses along the line of her jaw before he lifted his head to look down at her.
“Not a dud,” he said.
“Not at all. That was...”
“Unexpected?” he suggested in a smooth, sexy voice.
His hands on her waist caressed her. She noticed that as the music changed to “Auld Lang Syne” and he pulled her closer, swayed with her to the music. She didn’t want him to let go. Maybe it was the drinks she’d had tonight or the fact that this was a new year. A new slate for her. But something made this moment with Carter seem almost perfect.
The rational part of her brain tried to say it wasn’t, but she shushed it. For just one night she wanted to be like every other person and not analyze her actions to death. She wanted to live.
She grabbed Carter’s shoulders and pulled him toward her. Caught his mouth with hers and kissed him the way she’d seen it done in the movies. The way she’d tried in the past. She’d found reality and movie kisses didn’t deliver in the same way; they’d always ended up tasting not quite right. But this time, as her tongue slid past his lips and into his mouth, everything felt different. Carter tasted good. His kiss was warm and...yes, perfect. Absolutely, profoundly perfect. He leaned over her and bent her back the slightest bit, angling his head to deepen the kiss. Her pulse was racing, and little tingles shot down her body. He twisted and moved them a few steps off the dance floor.
She felt the hard wall at her back and Carter’s warmth pressed into her. He pulled his mouth from hers, but only went as far as her neck, where he suckled at the skin as his hands roamed up and down her body.
She skimmed her own hands down the strong muscles of his back to his lean hips and tugged him closer. Felt the shaft of his erection against her and knew he wanted more.
She needed more. So much more from him at this moment.
“Want to get out of here?” she asked.
“I’ve got a room at the lodge.” He exhaled roughly. “Is that what you want?”
She nodded.
She didn’t want to talk about it or to discuss it too much or she might change her mind.
And tonight she was being impulsive.
“Yes, I want you.”
“I want you, too. I have for a long time,” he said, taking her hand and leading her out of the dance club. The lobby was quiet, almost shockingly so after the noise in the club. But there were a few staff members who smiled at them and wished them a happy New Year.
She kept her hand laced tightly with Carter’s; trusted him to lead her through this night. This new beginning. The one she’d wanted for so long but hadn’t been sure how to find.
They were alone in the elevator car, and Carter dropped her hand and stood a few inches from her. “Are you sure about this? I don’t want you to have any regrets.”
“I promise you I won’t.” That much she knew was true. She’d regret it more if she walked away from him. If she let this moment pass.
Suddenly she realized that it had been fear holding her here. Fear that had motivated everything she’d done since the crash. The crash that had taken her career and could have taken her life.
She’d been lucky.
Now she wanted to make up for lost time, wanted to make the most of her life, but had been struggling to get over the hump and actually do it.
Figured it would be Carter Shaw who’d push her and get her moving again.
She cupped his butt and squeezed. “Are you having doubts?”
He turned around, and she hadn’t realized how turned on he was by her until that moment. He moved toward her, backed her up against the side of the elevator car and kissed her full-on, his entire body pressing provocatively against hers.
His chest rubbed over her breasts, his hips canted in toward her and she felt the brush of his erection at her center. His hands went to the back of her head as his mouth hungrily claimed hers. He kissed her with a long, deep kiss that left her trembling and wanting so much more.
The bell dinged and the elevator doors slid open. But still he kissed her as if he couldn’t let her go. The doors started to slide shut, and he pulled back and cursed. He shoved his foot out to stop them from closing and tugged her behind him as he stepped into the hallway.
“I’m not changing my mind, gorgeous. I can promise you that.”
3 (#u5df39c43-8816-5d30-ac4b-6dac9cd1209c)
CARTER LED HER into his suite. He’d left the light on over the bed because he had never been a fan of a dark room. Kissing Lindsey was like the first time he’d hopped in the half-pipe and had the ride of his life.
She’d awakened something inside him that was so much more than physical. It was easy to say the affection and lust roiling through him right now was due to the day he’d spent with her. They’d both been in the bridal party. Lindsey as a bridesmaid and Carter as a groomsman. The other couple standing up for Elizabeth and Bradley was a real couple, so she and Carter had sort of been forced together. In spite of all his faults, he’d never been a big fan of lying, even to himself.
She cupped his butt again and groaned. He wanted to take this slow, but if she kept fondling him it was going to be a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am encounter up against the wall of his hotel room.
Even the thought of that made him shiver. God, he wanted her.
“Want a drink?” he asked, forcing himself to take a few steps from her. He hoped the distance would clear his head and maybe penetrate the red haze of lust that was surrounding him. Make him remember he’d wanted her for a long time. Their first time should be epic.
“There is only one thing in this room that I want, Carter Shaw, and I’m looking straight at him.”
She kicked off her high heels as she sauntered toward him, her hand under her arm. For a moment it looked as if she was cupping her own breast. He groaned as she slowly dragged her hand down the side of her own body. The dress gaped and he realized she was getting naked.
“Slow down, gorgeous, we have all night,” he said, toeing off his shoes as she closed the distance he’d put between them.
“It’s midnight, Carter, which means we only have six more hours until morning. Until the cold light of day. I don’t want to waste a second of it.”
She was different. He wanted to be, too. He wanted to just go with it and pretend that this was the real Lindsey. Except he knew it wasn’t.
Was she playing a game tonight?
She placed her palm flat on his chest, and then leaned into him. The scent of her perfume once again surrounding him, inundating his senses. Pressing even closer, she went up on tiptoe to kiss his neck, just above his tattoo, as her hands pushed his jacket off his shoulders and down his arms.
He let the jacket fall to the floor, then slipped one of his hands into the gap in her unzipped dress. Her skin was cool and satiny smooth. He felt his way over her ribs toward her breasts. Her breath hitched, and she caught the lobe of his ear between her teeth and bit down lightly.
“I’m curious where those other tattoos of yours are,” she said, her fingers moving between them and undoing the buttons at the front of his shirt.
Her breath brushed over his neck and made him throb even more. Shivers spread down his body; blood pooled in all the right places, making his skin sensitive and cock rock hard. He stopped thinking of how he wanted this to be and just followed her lead.
Lindsey wasn’t going to let him put her off her goal. And as she’d said downstairs, her resolution for the year was him. He’d never been anyone’s anything special before. Fun time, sure, but that wasn’t all he intended to be for Lindsey tonight.
He pushed his hand farther into her dress, up her back, and found the clasp of her bra. Undoing it with one hand and then rubbing his hand between her shoulder blades, pulling her closer to him as he lowered his head to take her mouth with his.
She tasted like the promise of a night he’d never forget. Her mouth was both languid and passionate under his. Her tongue tangled against his in a slow, sensuous dance that felt as though it would never end. As though it didn’t have to end tonight.
Her hands slid under his shirt, her fingers cool against the fabric of his T-shirt, and he felt the bite of her nails into his pecs. “Where is your skin? How am I going to see these rumored tattoos of I can’t get to you?”
A laugh rumbled through him. “Sit on the bed.”
“No.”
“I thought you wanted to see me?”
“I do, but that doesn’t mean you get to be bossy,” she said.
Lindsey slipped her hands up over his shoulders again and pushed his dress shirt down his arms. “You forgot my cuffs.”
“No, I didn’t,” she drawled. “I think you’ll see that you are trapped. And I am in charge.”
He wasn’t trapped at all. He might not have a full range of motion, but he could still hold on to her waist, which he did. But she stepped back and put her finger right in the center of his chest. “Why don’t you go sit on the bed?”
He laughed again, that jolt of lust and joy taking him by surprise. And he did what she asked, slowly working his hands to free them as he sat. As soon as his hands were free, he leaned back on his elbows and arched one eyebrow as he looked over at her. “Okay, now what?”
“Hmm...let me see.” She moved forward, straddled him on the bed and brought her mouth down hard on his. She sucked his tongue into her mouth, and everything inside him came to attention as she nipped his tongue and then abruptly stood. “Take off your T-shirt.”
“Take off your dress. I’m dying to see what you look like without it.”
“Can I keep my tiara on?” she asked impishly.
“Definitely. I think the Ice Queen should always wear her crown.”
She stepped away, shimmied out of her dress and then let her bra slowly slide down her torso, pulling first one arm free and then the other and dangling it from one finger. She stood there with that cool Nordic beauty. His gorgeous ice queen, very sure of herself and her appeal.
He started to get up, but she wagged her finger at him. “Did I say you could move?”
“I think you’re going to want me to move,” he told her.
“Not yet.”
He sank back on the bed and grimaced as his slacks cut into his erection. He shifted and then thought, To hell with it, and unzipped his pants, pushing them down his legs.
“You look good, Carter. You could be an underwear model.”
He’d done a few ads in his day, but lately he preferred to keep some things for himself and his lovers. His body was one of them. He stood and slowly pulled the hem of his T-shirt up past his abdomen as he closed the gap between them. She reached out and traced the tattoo on his left side. Her fingers were warm and seeking as they moved over him.
The design disappeared into the top of his boxer briefs, and she pulled the elastic waistband away from his skin, pushing the side of the briefs down so she could see the entire thing.
“Is this a mountain?”
“Yes. Nagano.”
“Why Nagano?”
He let out a groan. “Now? You want to talk now?” he asked, painfully aware that he could barely string together two words as she leaned lower to examine his ink. Her beautiful, lush breasts swayed forward and her breath brushed over his hip. She was so close to his cock, he could only think of twisting his hips so that he could feel her touch where he desired it most.
“I guess not. But later,” she said, “I want to know more about it.”
“Later,” he growled, cupping her breasts, rubbing his palm over the center of her nipples and gently fondling them.
She caressed his upper body and pushed the T-shirt up and over his head. He stopped stroking her as she tossed it aside. Again she put her hand in the center of his chest and pushed against him. He walked backward until he felt the edge of the bed at the back of his thighs, and put his arm around her waist, dragging her forward with him as he sat. Inhaling her sweet, womanly scent, he pulled her onto his lap so she straddled him.
She reached up and did something with her hair, letting it fall around her shoulders as she leaned forward. Staring at him with passion-glazed eyes, she cupped his face, rubbed her fingers through his short stubble and then leaned down to kiss him. Not a dominating one, as earlier, but one that promised that the games were over. He held her close to him with one hand on her hip, and let his other hand caress her, starting at the back of her neck and then slowly moving down the back of her spine. He felt her shiver as he traced his way around the tiny indentation right above her buttocks.
He caressed her hips, and she rocked forward against him, then winced. Her knee. He’d forgotten that she’d injured it a year ago. He scooted back on the bed and rolled them onto their sides so they were facing each other.
“Sorry,” she whispered.
“Hey, gorgeous,” he said, lightly running his hand down the side of her body over her curves. “It’s okay. How’s the knee?”
“Fine. It was just the angle.”
“Then let’s find a better angle,” he suggested. “One where we don’t have to think about anything but each other.”
She nodded. But the confidence that had been driving her had waned. He could read it in her eyes. “I guess I’m in charge now.”
Just as he suspected, the thought of the power shift was enough to nudge any embarrassment Lindsey had over her knee out of her subconscious. She gave him an arched look, raised herself up onto her elbow and put her finger to the middle of his chest again.
“Not so fast.” She leaned over him, slowly following the pattern of his chest hair as it narrowed down his belly and disappeared into the top of his boxer briefs. Then she dipped her finger under the elastic and brushed the tip of his cock, and his hips jerked forward.
He breathed in and out, struggling to stay in control. Then he reached for her and mimicked her caress. He started in the middle of her chest and traced his finger down around each of her breasts, and then lower to her belly button. He drew a small circle around it and then leaned over to trace the path with his mouth. But he lingered at her breasts, catching her nipple in his mouth and sucking as he continued to fondle her belly button.
She pushed her hand into his underwear and slid her hand up and down his shaft. He shivered in response, felt as though he was going to lose it, but instead rocked himself against her touch. He liked it. Her fingers were long, and she wrapped them around his length, stroking up and down within the confines of his underwear.
He lifted his lips from her breast to move lower, kissing each of her ribs, and her hand slid off him as he did so. She let her fingers drift up his body and around to his back. Caressing the area near his tattoo, her fingers moved gently over the imprint as he tongued her belly button and then dipped his head lower. He peeled her underwear over her hips and down her long legs, stopping to kiss the scars at her knee, and then tossed them to the floor.
He shoved his own briefs off, ready to be totally naked.
“Are you on the pill?” he asked.
“What?” She seemed dazed, and he realized that he’d jarred her.
“Are you protected from pregnancy?”
She nodded. “Are you clean?”
Fair question, given his reputation, but still... “Yes. Are you?”
“Of course,” she said.
“Good.”
He moved so that he could take her ankles in his hands to raise her legs. He smiled as she propped herself up on her elbows.
She was spread out in front of him, her tousled blond hair falling around her shoulders, her pink-tipped breasts rising and falling with each breath she took. His eyes traced her nipped-in waist and the soft blond curls at the apex of her thighs. The long smooth legs that he’d admired often when she’d worn snow pants.
She had a great ass, but he’d save that for next time. Tonight was special. It was the first time, and he wanted it to be just right. Wanted to see her face, so that in his mind he’d always have this image of Lindsey.
Naked. Wanting. Completely his.
He brought her foot to his chest and caressed her leg, starting at the ankle and working his way to her thigh, stopping just short of her center. Then he did the same with her other leg, lingering over the scars on her fully healed knee. Next he used his mouth on the same path, and when he got to the apex of her thighs, she sighed and tangled her hands in his hair as he parted her and kissed her most intimate flesh.
She shifted under him, her heels pushing down on the bed as she lifted her hips toward his mouth. He flicked his tongue over her and then moved lower to taste her. She slipped her hands across his back, her nails digging into his shoulders as his mouth took full possession of her. Her thighs came up on either side of his face as she thrashed underneath him.
She tried to pull him up over her, but the taste of her was addicting and he couldn’t get enough of it. His cock was hard and he wanted to be buried deep inside her, but he didn’t want to have to stop tasting her, either.
He swirled his tongue around the little pink bud at the center of her and felt it swell under him. Her nails dug into his shoulders, and she made a breathy sort of moaning noise that let him know she liked it. He slipped his finger inside, stroking her. He kept it up until she tugged at his hair, and he lifted his head.
“Carter.”
“Yes, gorgeous?”
“I want you inside me.”
“I am inside you,” he said.
She sighed and shifted on the bed, bending at the waist, finding his cock first with her hand and then with her mouth. He felt her tongue feather down the side of his shaft as her fingers lightly caressed his balls. She squeezed him as she took the tip of him inside her mouth, her tongue swirling all around it.
A drop left him, and he pulled back. This first time he wanted to come inside her body. Wanted to see her face as they both climaxed.
His hips jerked, and he realized that if she kept this up, he wasn’t going to last at all. He pulled his hips back, sitting up and noticing the very satisfied look on her face. Evidently she’d gotten what she wanted. She was a minx, and seeing this side of her made him wonder what else he thought he knew about Lindsey that he didn’t.
But he didn’t mind, because he was getting what he wanted, too. He took her hands in his, stretching them above her head as he levered his body over hers, shifting his hips until he felt the opening of her body.
“Got your way,” he rasped. “I hope you’re ready for me.”
“I am.” She lifted her hips as she wrapped her legs around him, and he slid into her. She held him tight to her and moved her hips to bring him closer each time. Cupping his buttocks, she pulled him.
She was tight and felt so good that he drove all the way home and immediately pulled back to do it again. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, lifting herself up to whisper hot words of need and desire in his ear. She told him how much she wanted him. How she needed him deeper and deeper.
And he did exactly what she asked. Drove himself into her again and again, deeper each time. He felt shivers run down his spine. Reached between them to caress her clit because he knew he wasn’t going to make it much longer. He was going to come and he wanted—needed—to make sure she did, as well.
She moaned his name, bit his neck and arched her body frantically underneath him and then cried out. He felt her body tighten around him, her inner walls gripping his cock and urging him on. Pounding into her, harder and faster than before, he gazed down into those big chocolate-brown eyes as he felt his orgasm rush through him.
He emptied himself inside her and then collapsed, careful to support his weight with his arms. He dragged one of his hands from where he’d held hers, caressing her arm and shoulder, and then rolled to his side, keeping their bodies joined as he cuddled her close.
She rested her head on his shoulder and ran her fingers over his chest. He felt each exhalation of her breath against his skin, and she sighed a little.
Did she regret this?
“I guess that proves it.”
“Proves what, gorgeous?” he asked, almost afraid of her answer. He wanted to lie here with her in his arms and just pretend for a moment that he didn’t have to let her go.
“That you’re not a dud,” she said.
4 (#u5df39c43-8816-5d30-ac4b-6dac9cd1209c)
HER BODY TINGLED, and she felt more alive than she had in the past year. She pushed herself from Carter and leaned back on her elbow so she could watch him. God, a man shouldn’t look like this. Not when he was lying next to her in bed. He was all sinew and muscle and, despite his reputation for being debauched, he was in very good shape.
He’d said he was retiring from snowboarding but there was no evidence of that in his lean, hard body.
His eyes were half-closed; he had one hand on her waist, idly gliding up and down her side. His hands were large but sort of soft when he touched her. The confidence and the courage that had brought her up to his room and into his bed were still there. Buzzing around in her mind, which was a little fuzzy from the drinks she’d had and the sex.
God, she’d had no idea sex could be like that. Could be that good. She understood now why so many people were tempted to miss their training schedules for it.
“Was it a surprise for you?” she asked a bit tentatively. Maybe this was the way it always was for him.
He fully opened his eyes, turning his blue-gray gaze on her. “What?”
“The sex. Or is it always like that for you?”
“Damn, gorgeous, the things you ask,” he said. Scrubbing a hand over his eyes, he grabbing a pillow from the head of the bed and bunched it up under his head.
“If I don’t ask I’ll never know. And you are a player,” she reminded him.
He arched one dark eyebrow at her.
“Not going to try to deny it, are you? I heard about many of your hook-ups over the years.”
“Why would I when you wouldn’t believe me anyway?”
“I don’t know. Actually, I really don’t know you,” she admitted. She traced the tattoo of Nagano on his hip. She’d skied there at a world-cup competition twice. She traced the path down his hip and noticed that he let her, just kept still while she ran her finger over his skin.
She didn’t know what to do next. She hadn’t been kidding when she’d said this wasn’t her kind of situation. And let’s face it, most etiquette books didn’t cover what to do when a woman ended up in bed with a bad-boy snowboarder. In fact, her mom would have probably said don’t end up there. She was practical like that.
He sat up and caught her hand in his, bringing it ever so slowly to his lips. He kissed her palm and then looked her straight in the eye. She saw the sincerity his gaze and something else. Something she couldn’t really define.
He leaned closer. She closed her eyes because it felt too intense. The room smelled of sex and Carter. That spicy aftershave she’d noticed that lingered in the air after they’d had a conversation.
“It was special for me, too.”
“Why do you think that is?” she asked, opening her eyes and almost smiling. She wanted to hear that she was different from the other women. Carter had exceeded her wildest expectations and made her realize that the safe dates and bed partners she’d had in the past weren’t the norm.
He laughed again. “Give me a minute to wash up, and then we can continue this conversation.”
He got out of the bed and padded naked to the bathroom, returning a moment later with a warm washcloth for her to use. He took it back into the bathroom, and while she was alone, she glanced around the room and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror over the desk. She notice her tiara with the year on it on its side near the bed.
She placed it on the nightstand before scooting up and getting under the covers. As she leaned back against the headboard, she realized he might not want her to stay.
This would have been easier if she’d taken him to her place. Then she maybe she wouldn’t feel so awkward.
He strode back into the room with all the grace and elegance of a tiger.
She forced a smile and what she liked to think of as her game face. The expression she used in the press room after a bad run, or when she’d had to go in front of the media and act as though it hadn’t mattered that her career in skiing was over after her fall.
Watching his muscles moving with each step he took, she realized he was a perfect specimen. Not like her body, which was broken and bore fresh scars. She envied him his healthy body. Tamping down her roiling emotions, she shook her head. She wasn’t going down that path tonight.
Instead, the sheet falling to her waist, she drank him in.
“Dammit.”
“What’s wrong?” she asked in alarm.
“You make me want to start all over again.”
“Start what?” She wasn’t following him.
“Sex,” he said. “I’ve just had you but I want you again. Want to take my time and make sure that I haven’t missed one glorious spot on your body.”
She arched one eyebrow at him. “I don’t think you did. But first I want to hear why you think I’m special.”
He rubbed a hand over his chest and came to sit next to her on the bed. “Gorgeous, you’ve always been special to me.”
That was a nonanswer if she ever heard it, but it was New Year’s Day. He was her little gift to start out a fabulous year, and she guessed from his tone that discussing their past wasn’t exactly what he had in mind.
She sighed, but the drinks and her emotions were catching up with her. She traced his tattoo and thought of all the risks she’d taken in her life and how they’d paid off for her. Carter Shaw was the biggest one. She’d come to his room for a night of pleasure and hopefully to jar herself out of the sameness that her life had taken on.
That was it.
It was hard, though, because she was a planner, and to face any situation knowing that she didn’t have a proved strategy made her edgy and scared.
* * *
IF SHE’D BEEN any other woman, he would have been happy to climb back into that bed and have another round of mind-numbing sex. But this was Lindsey. His gorgeous Nordic angel who’d always been different. And tonight was no exception.
She kept touching him in that innocent way of hers that turned him on, but more than that, she seemed to touch him as if she wasn’t thinking about it.
“Tell me about this tattoo.”
That she’d changed the subject kind of let him off the hook and also disappointed him the tiniest bit. He wanted her to demand some answers from him, not let him keep skating by on the surface. But she saw him the way every other woman did. She was different to him but he wasn’t different to her.
It hurt for a split second before he shrugged it aside and shifted to lie next to her. He pulled a couple of pillows closer and propped them under his head.
“What about it?”
“When did you get it?”
“On a trip to Japan with my dad when I was a teenager.”
“How on earth did you convince them to give you a tattoo...or did your dad okay it?” she asked with a smile.
Carter thought of his old man and how, back then, he’d been sort of his enemy. Now that he was an adult they got on well, but growing up, his dad had seemed like this guy who had never really lived or ever done anything daring. The exact opposite of everything that Carter wanted to be. His mom had died in childbirth, and his dad had never recovered.
“No, he didn’t approve. But I was on my own, spoke decent Japanese and looked like I was eighteen. I knew from the moment I’d seen the mountain that I wanted it. I wanted to snowboard down it, learn its paths and twists and turns. Try to capture some of its wildness.”
He lifted his head and stared down into her pretty brown eyes. She smiled in response. “That’s almost poetic. Watch it, Shaw, your badass image is slipping.”
“I got ink at sixteen. That’s pretty badass,” he retorted, trying to push aside the feelings she called easily to the surface. He wasn’t one of those guys who spent much time thinking heavy thoughts. So he could only blame Lindsey and this evening for stirring up those old memories.
“And now you’re twenty-seven and retiring? Time flies, doesn’t it?” she said, rolling onto her back and lifting her arms up above her head.
The movement forced her breasts into prominence, and he reached over and feathered his fingers across them. Slowly stroking her skin, which was very smooth and very warm. Addicting almost. He never wanted to stop touching her.
She turned over again, facing him. “I don’t want to talk about the past.”
“Me, either.”
The present was way more interesting than the things he’d done in the past. For instance, this was the first time he was close enough to hold Lindsey in his arms. Close enough to notice that on her rib cage just below her breast she had a small birthmark. He leaned in to kiss it.
“What are you doing?”
“Memorizing you. Trying to make sure I know every inch of you.”
“I thought it took guys a while to recover after sex,” she said.
He shook his head and laughed. “Some guys. Some of the time. I think it depends on the woman and man. It’s not taking me any time with you.”
“Why do you think that is?” she asked curiously. “Is it back to me being special?”
He caressed her side, starting at her shoulder and working his way slowly down to her hip. “I don’t know why. It’s not something I’ve ever analyzed. Why would I? Sex is supposed to be fun, not figures put in a spreadsheet.”
“Is it?” she mused. “That hasn’t always been my experience, but then I haven’t done the amount of experimenting you have.”
“Gorgeous, you’re pushing me. I’m not sure why.”
“I’m scared,” she admitted. “This seemed like fun in the bar, but now that I’m up here, I don’t know how to act or what to do next. I’m not used to that.”
He sighed. “There is no right or wrong action here. We make up our own rules, okay?”
He wanted her to be different, and she was. She made him feel alive in a way that only snowboarding had before. Something he’d never found in any of his personal relationships. Maybe it was just the novelty of sleeping with a girl he’d wanted since he was seventeen. Or maybe it was just the place he was in at this moment in his life.
But he didn’t want her to think they had to behave in a certain way. With other woman he’d been different—happy for the sex, but not wanting anything more. It had been casual and friendly with no feelings getting hurt. But this was Lindsey, and he needed more.
More? How much more, he had no idea. This was all new to him, too.
“Okay, so what kind of rules should we have?” she asked. “Are we going to do this again?”
“Um...I thought that was obvious,” he said, gesturing to his erection.
She laughed, and the sound washed over him like a warm bit of sunshine on a cold day.
A moment later she reached for him, stroked her hand up and down his cock, and then leaned down to kiss him. “Okay, so after that—then what?”
“We’ll figure it out. This is one thing we don’t have to train for or have a rigorous schedule about.” She nodded, and he saw that something was going on inside her head, but he had no idea what it was. What was it she was thinking? He thought maybe he shouldn’t let himself get distracted, but for tonight he’d had enough conversation.
He had a naked Lindsey in his bed and he intended to enjoy her.
* * *
THEY FELL ASLEEP in each other’s arms after making love the second time, and when Lindsey woke, it was to the soft snores coming from Carter. He was turned on his side, facing her, and their fingers were linked together. She was riveted by the sight of him, but had a little bit of a headache and was thirsty.
Really thirsty.
She carefully pulled her hand from his and made her way quietly across the bedroom into the bathroom, where she closed the door, letting just the illumination from the night-light break the darkness. She saw herself in the mirror, but avoided eye contact as she filled a glass with water and slowly drank it.
Lost in thought, she closed the lid on the toilet and sat on it.
She was no closer now to knowing what to do next than she had been six hours earlier. She noticed she had a little bit of razor burn on her neck, remembered the feel of him in her arms and shivered. Carter Shaw. Who’d have guessed?
She finished her water and then stood to lean in over the sink.
Her previous sexual experiences had been less than stellar. Did she look different now that she’d had an orgasm with a man rather than by her own hand? She searched her face for some sign, but there wasn’t one. She still looked like Lindsey. Like herself. But inside something had awakened. Something was changing, and she had no clue what she was going to do next.
She bit her lip. Staying here and waiting for Carter to wake up sounded like a bad idea. She knew that last night was only one night. It had been fun and frivolous, two things she’d never embraced in her entire life. But she’d liked it. No regrets.
You only live once, right? But now it was a new day and time for making plans.
No matter how incredible it had been, there was no denying that this thing between her and Carter wasn’t going to last. They had nothing in common aside from sports, and skiers and snowboarders were very different. Frankly, they didn’t really even know each other that well.
Something that she intended to ensure didn’t change. Because there was no need for it to. He was going back to his wandering ways, and though she’d cross paths with him once in a while on the committee for the charity event, she doubted she’d really see that much of him.
She felt a little pang and ignored it. Of course, the thought of going back to the adversarial strangers they’d been hurt after last night. After sharing something with him she’d experienced with no other man. But it wasn’t going to happen again. Carter was a bad boy and not at all the kind of guy she was interested in trying to date. Besides, her life was a big-ass mess right now.
Lindsey sighed. Her clothes were scattered in the other room, and she needed to collect them, get dressed and beat a hasty retreat before he woke. But first she grabbed one of the robes from behind the door...because in the cold light of day walking around naked didn’t feel right.
She opened the door cautiously and heard the low rumble of Carter’s voice.
“Thank you very much.”
He was awake.
He was sitting on the edge of the bed, his back to her, his brown hair tousled and sticking up a little on the left side. He tossed the cordless phone onto the bed and stood. “I ordered breakfast.”
“I actually should probably be going,” she said hastily. “I feel like I’ve—”
“Where do you have to go? I know you’re not working today.”
“You do?” Her eyes widened. “How do you know that?”
“Because you were drinking and partying last night. I know you aren’t the type of person to ski after a night like that,” he said. “Take it from me, your concentration won’t be that great.”
“Have you done that? Snowboarded in that condition?”
“I have. I don’t recommend it.” There was a long pause. “Let me grab a robe and we can have breakfast, okay?”
She didn’t want to get to know Carter any better. Sure, she knew how that sounded, but the truth was, the more she knew him the bigger the chance of her starting to like him was. She didn’t want to change the dynamic between them that had worked so well for so long. She had figured out a way to manage him.
“I’m not sure.”
“Really? Now you’re running scared?” Crossing his arms over his bare chest, he flashed a taunting smile her way. “After all that we did to each other last night, this morning you want to retreat?”
She gave him the hardest stare she could muster. Given her headache she suspected it wasn’t as steely as she’d like. “I’m not a child to be swayed by a petty dare.”
“It wasn’t petty, gorgeous. It was a flat-out challenge. Prove you’re not a coward and stay.”
She rolled her eyes. This was the guy she had no chance of ever falling for... The one who needled her and tried to make her— “Fine. I’ll stay for breakfast.”
He nodded. “I’ll be right back.”
She walked over to the table set up in a corner of the suite with chairs that faced the plate-glass windows that provided a perfect panoramic view of the Wasatch Range. The mountains she knew like the palm of her hand. She’d skied all the different runs down that mountain. It was a constant to her. In fact, she’d trained there for so long it was like her home.
But it wasn’t anymore. And she knew that it wasn’t Carter she was angry with this morning. It wasn’t the mountain, either, although that big majestic thing did play a part in it. She was angry with herself. For falling and for failing. She’d never realized how much she’d let herself down. Hadn’t wanted to admit that to herself. As a matter of fact, she hadn’t been able to let those emotions out until this morning.
Coffee and breakfast weren’t going to sweeten her mood now. That she understood, so she got dressed as quickly as she could, gathered her clutch and her tiara and walked out the door before Carter came out of the bathroom.
She needed time and distance. Not the distraction that he provided.
5 (#u5df39c43-8816-5d30-ac4b-6dac9cd1209c)
IT DIDN’T TAKE a Stephen Hawking–level genius to figure out that Lindsey wanted to be left alone. But Carter hadn’t achieved all he had in the world of snowboarding, or in life, by not going after what he wanted. And after last night, it was pretty damned clear to him that he still wanted more from her.
He took a shower, got dressed, ate the breakfast he’d ordered and then went out to find her. She worked at the lodge, and he suspected she must live pretty close to it. They’d both been serious athletes for the majority of their lives—if Lindsey was anything like him, she’d want to be close enough to the mountains to spend all her free time on the slopes.
He texted Will Spalding, the other groomsman from the wedding, whose girlfriend, Penny, was friends with Lindsey, asking if he knew how to get in touch with Lindsey.
He put his head on the steering wheel, feeling like a complete and utter fool.
This was nuts.
Will texted back that he’d ask Penny. A few seconds later he texted a phone number and the word why.
Yeah, Shaw, why do you need her number? he asked himself.
He texted that he wanted to talk to Lindsey about the event they were working on at the lodge and wished Will and Penny safe travels as they headed home later in the day.
He was still sitting in his rented SUV, trying to figure out which of the many slopes she’d been taking a run on this morning, when he caught a glimpse of her walking from her car to the lodge. She was wearing a pair of dark pink ski bibs and a cream-colored puffy jacket. Her Nordic blond hair had been pulled back into a ponytail, her hair held back by a ski band around her head.
She looked for all the world as she always had. As if nothing had changed.
He rubbed the back of his neck, thinking that maybe for her nothing had.
It hadn’t occurred to him until that moment that prim-and-proper Lindsey Collins, darling of the Alpine ski community, might have used him to get her rocks off on New Year’s Eve. It wasn’t the first time he’d been a woman’s illicit thrill, but on every other occasion he’d known what he was getting into. And he’d been prepared for it.
He’d thought Lindsey was different. He shut off his SUV, got out and followed her across the parking lot and up to the ski lodge and the après ski café. She sat at one of the tables nestled near the big fireplace and facing the slopes. The expression on her face wasn’t peaceful or serene.
She looked angry and lost.
Why was Lindsey upset?
Maybe he’d screwed things up when he’d taken her to his bed last night. Another sin to add to his list where this woman was concerned. He walked over to the bar, ordered two hot chocolates and then went to her table.
He set one down in front of her and took the seat next to her so he, too, could look up at the mountain.
“Carter.”
“Lindsey.”
She pulled the mug closer to her and wrapped her fingers around it, staring down into the whipped cream on the top like a fortune-teller searching for answers.
“What’s this for?”
“I’m not sure.” He raked a hand through his hair and sighed. “I think I might need to apologize.”
“For what? I know I should for walking out. But my head’s not in the right place this morning. I might do or say something stupid, so I figured I better clear out until...”
He got it. This he understood. He’d spent most of his life clearing out and searching for answers that he still hadn’t found.
“No need. I get that. Let’s start over,” he said.
“How? Do we pretend we never met at seventeen? Or do we act like last night never happened?”
“None of that. Let’s just start the morning over.” He reached over and clasped her hand in his. “I’m dying to get up on the slopes. You want to go with me?”
“I... Really? I thought you’d want to take it easy.”
“I didn’t anger all the resort owners here by taking them on and demanding they let snowboarders on the slopes just to be a douchebag. I did it because when I look at that mountain I see something I wanted to conquer. Besides, it was elitist to try to keep us out.”
“I never saw it that way,” she admitted, staring down at their entwined fingers. “But then, Alpine skiing is accepted everywhere.”
“So want to take on the slopes? We can race for real this time,” he said. “Not against the clock but against each other.”
She slowly withdrew her hand and took a sip of cocoa. “I can’t.”
He leaned back in his chair and glanced at her. She wasn’t watching him but was staring at the mountains again. “I’ll go easy on you.”
“It doesn’t matter. I can’t go down the mountain.”
“Why not?”
She shook her head. “You were my bit of fun last night, Carter. We’re not friends and I—”
“I don’t see that you have any friends here right now. Not trying to be mean, but it’s obvious—even to this bit of fun—that you need someone.” He clenched his jaw, trying to keep his temper in check. “I’d like to think over the years I’ve at least showed you I’m not a total loser.”
“I never think of you that way,” she said, turning to face him.
He saw something in her expression that he’d never glimpsed there before. It was something more than fear, and if he had to define it, he’d say it looked a lot like disappointment.
“I’m scared, Carter. I can’t go down that damned mountain, because every time I’ve taken the ski lift up there I freeze. I’m fine showing kids what to do in their lessons, but I can’t go down a big slope.”
His anger instantly cooled. That wasn’t what he’d been expecting. Lindsey was afraid? It didn’t jive with the bold, fearless woman he’d always known. She’d been throwing herself down the toughest, fastest runs since she’d been ten, or something. She’d gone over sixty miles per hour routinely, and now she was afraid?
“Okay, fair enough,” he said. “But we’re going to get you over your fear.”
She shook her head and took another slip of her hot chocolate. “I don’t think so. You’re sweet to suggest it, but let’s face it, the only thing we’ve ever had between us is an adversarial—”
“We have more now. We spent the night in each other’s arms.”
“That was sex,” she reminded him. “You always act like sex is just a physical thing. Nothing emotional there.”
“Was it for you?” he asked in a low, deceptively calm voice.
“Wasn’t it for you?” she countered.
She gave nothing away. Why was he surprised? This was Lindsey Collins, and she never let him have an inch.
* * *
LINDSEY DIDN’T WANT to talk about her fears with Carter. In fact, the only thing she wanted was a distraction. God knew he provided her with that.
“I’m sorry I feel like I’m not myself this morning. That’s why I left. I can’t explain it very well, not even to myself.”
“What can’t you explain?” he asked, pinning her with his penetrating blue-gray gaze.
“Last night, until the moment you arrived at my table, I was looking at my future and trying to figure out what my next move would be.” She sighed. “Last year at this time I was gearing up for a gold medal and setting my future, you know?”
“I do know. But things changed.”
“They did, and I ended up here in the bosom of some good friends and in the valley where I first learned to ski and started my world-champion path. I thought this was the place to press the reset button, but it didn’t work out that way. I couldn’t handle the slopes... I mean, not even the kiddie ones at first. Even now they still scare me.”
She tried to stop talking, but the words were just flowing out of her as though they wouldn’t be stopped. She’d needed to share this with someone, and Carter, as unlikely as it seemed, was the one person she was finally able to do it with.
“So the reset didn’t work,” he said, tracing the rim of his mug with his finger.
An image of him doing that exact same thing to her nipple popped into her head and made her squirm in her chair. Dammit. She never thought of sex this way. But Carter had changed her.
“No, it didn’t. I have seen a therapist and he suggested it was because reset means I can go back to where I was and that maybe somewhere in my brain is the thought that I don’t want to go back there.”
He nodded. “My therapist has often said that, for me, I have to keep moving forward. Once I master a skill, I need to find a new one.”
“That’s interesting... Does he have a theory why?” Maybe there was a clue in Carter’s problems that could lead her to a solution of her own.
“He does, but it’s very personal.” There was a glimpse of the real man. The one he kept hidden behind a curtain of sexy charm and outrageous dares.
“Sorry,” she said quietly. “Didn’t mean to pry.”
“I brought it up. Just throwing it out as an option.” Resting an elbow on the table, he turned to face her. “I want to help you get back on the slopes. It will be a way for me to make up for any part of your crash.”
“I told you that wasn’t your fault.”
“I know, but I need to do this. Plus, and if you repeat this to anyone I’ll deny it, but when you ski it’s like magic. I love watching you on the slopes, and I’d hate to never see you ski again.”
“Why would you deny that?” she asked, touched more than she wanted to be.
“Because I’m a bad-boy snowboarder and I’ve got a reputation to preserve,” he said with a wink.
“Well, far be it from me to ruin that for you,” she quipped. But deep down inside the freedom she’d felt last night was starting to fade. It made her wistful and wonder how she was going to achieve what had seemed so possible last night. How could she change her life?
“You won’t,” he said slyly. “So let’s see... How’s the knee? Have you taken any runs?”
Lindsey shook her head. She thought of how she sometimes brought her skis here and sat as though she’d just taken a run, even though she clearly hadn’t.
Who the heck was she trying to fool?
“My knee is fine. No runs. I mean, I’m teaching the classes, so I am on the bunny slopes with my kids, but that’s not really skiing.”
“Not for you,” he said.
“No, not for me. But why do you care? I mean, really. Not that BS about feeling guilty about my crash—the real story.”
He leaned in close and shrugged. “Maybe I sense that’s the only way you’ll let me see you again.”
He was right, but she wasn’t about to admit it to him. “We’re on a committee together, Carter. We will have to see each other again.”
He took a sip of his hot chocolate. “I expected better—more from you than this.”
She held the same high expectation for herself. “I’m sorry. I think the combo of too much to drink, a very sexy encounter and confusion left over from last night are making this morning difficult.”
“You think too much,” he said softly. “I’ve had more mornings-after than you. Take it from me, you have to just shake it off.”
She didn’t want to shake it off. A part of her wanted to be the woman she’d been last night. That bold, self-assured, confident woman she’d been with Carter, the woman who’d believed in herself. Surely that hadn’t just been the champagne talking. The seeds of that woman had to be inside her.
She just had to figure out how to sow them.
Carter was offering her something by saying he wanted to see her ski again. He’d always been that devilish rogue who could needle her into doing things she’d otherwise pass on.
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Katherine Garbera
Countdown to a kiss…At the stroke of midnight, Lindsey Collins will finally kiss Carter Shaw. A former championship skier, Lindsey had a life of all training and no play until a devastating injury sidelined her. Now she’s ready to put her good-girl ways behind her and kick off the New Year with a little fun…and the sexy snowboarder is the perfect distraction!Now that Carter has Lindsey in his arms for one mind-blowing night, he’s not giving up. He'll do whatever it takes to break through her Ice Queen exterior and show her he’s more than just a fun time. But how can she believe in him when she can’t even believe in herself enough to return to skiing–and all that she’s worked for?
Countdown to a kiss...
At the stroke of midnight, Lindsey Collins will finally kiss Carter Shaw. A former championship skier, Lindsey had a life of all training and no play until a devastating injury sidelined her. Now she’s ready to put her good-girl ways behind her and kick off the New Year with a little fun...and the sexy snowboarder is the perfect distraction!
Now that Carter has Lindsey in his arms for one mind-blowing night, he’s not giving up. He’ll do whatever it takes to break through her Ice Queen exterior and show her he’s more than just a fun time. But how can she believe in him when she can’t even believe in herself enough to return to skiing—and all that she’s worked for?
“The countdown is starting...”
It had already begun, Lindsey thought. It had started ten long years ago, and now it came down to this moment.
Three, two, one...
She went up on tiptoe, wrapped her arms around Carter’s neck and met his mouth with hers.
His hands on her waist tightened as he drew her closer into the curve of his body. His chest was firm against hers. Solid. He held her as if he wasn’t going to let her fall. Let her crash. And that was exactly what she needed.
Her pulse was racing, and little tingles were shooting down her body. Turning slightly, he moved them a few steps off the dance floor.
She felt the hard wall at her back and the warmth of Carter’s skin through his shirt as he pulled her closer.
She needed more. So much more from him at this moment.
“Want to get out of here?” he asked.
She nodded. Tonight, she was impulsive...
Dear Reader (#u5df39c43-8816-5d30-ac4b-6dac9cd1209c),
Happy New Year! Do you make resolutions? I do. I’m shameless in my love of making lists and then working until I can check them off. Lindsey hasn’t had the best year, and she’s determined to make this new one count. She’s starting over after a career-ending injury, and honestly, the last person she really wants to see is hotshot snowboarder Carter Shaw. But he’s been flirting with her for forever, and she’s tired of denying herself. Hey, it’s New Year’s Eve, so why not, right?
Of course, those kinds of decisions always have consequences, and one of them is the fact that Lindsey actually likes Carter more than she expected. And he’s way more into her than a playboy should be.
I hope you’ll enjoy this conclusion to the Holiday Heat series.
Happy reading!
Katherine
After Midnight
Katherine Garbera
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
KATHERINE GARBERA is a USA TODAY bestselling author of more than fifty books and has always believed in happy endings. She lives in England with her husband, children and their pampered pet, Godiva. Visit Katherine on the web at katherinegarbera.com (http://www.katherinegarbera.com), or catch up with her on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/KatherineGarberaAuthor) and Twitter (https://twitter.com/katheringarbera).
This one is for Nancy Thompson and
Mary Louise Wells. Thank you for the gift
of your friendship.
Contents
Cover (#ua93ed4d8-cbfb-5512-9277-dad4c67911a0)
Back Cover Text (#uaf0e9c40-d8dd-5592-9fdc-36ed372c6d96)
Introduction (#udaf32ea8-6347-5aa2-9520-eb49f694de28)
Dear Reader
Title Page (#ubbff8bb6-9078-5eb5-9672-69d9453ca27c)
About the Author (#uf639fedf-9b6d-5d00-88ad-2702853cac0a)
Dedication (#u45301d98-5b66-5780-8fd0-bc0af03058fc)
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Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
1 (#u5df39c43-8816-5d30-ac4b-6dac9cd1209c)
“HELLO, GORGEOUS.”
Carter Shaw.
Bad boy, snowboarder and Lindsey Collins’ worst nightmare. Carter was everything she wasn’t, and if she was being totally honest, everything she sort of wished she could be.
“Hello, trouble.”
He laughed in that husky deep-throated way of his.
She tried to ignore the fact that his eyes were a kind of blue-gray that reminded her of early mornings on the slope just after the sun came up. His dark hair was thick and curly on the top, but at this moment cut short on the back of his neck. She’d seen him wear it a lot longer, but this sportier cut called even more attention to his handsome, gorgeous face. He had that sexy stubble that made her fingers tingle with the urge to touch it each time she saw him. And it didn’t help her libido that the guy had that relaxed vibe of someone who’d grown up in California. To her, he’d always looked as if he should be on a surfboard instead of a snowboard.
“Nice shindig,” he said. “If you like glamour.”
Briefly glancing away to check out their surroundings, she smiled despite herself. The club at the Lars Usten Resort and Spa certainly did New Year’s Eve in a big way. Lots of champagne. Lots of partygoers. Hats and horns for everyone. There was a large dance floor in the middle and banquettes around the end, as well as lots of high tables.
“I can do glamour,” she replied.
“You sure can,” he said with a wink.
“Are you hitting on me?” she asked. “You’ve always said you’d rather kiss your snowboard than a Super G skier.”
“Well, you are looking a lot better than my snowboard at the moment.”
Lindsey shook her head at the way he said it. There was something different about him tonight. He wasn’t his usual cocky self. They were both here this evening because of the wedding of their two friends, Elizabeth and Bradley. The newlyweds had long since departed and she had stayed behind because it seemed a little too Bridget Jones to be sitting all alone in her barely furnished condo on New Year’s Eve.
Up till now Lindsey had never been a big fan of staying up until midnight on New Year’s Eve. What was the point? Her entire life had been spent training to win an international gold medal—and kissing someone at midnight really kind of paled in comparison to that goal. Or at least it had. But tonight...she felt a little wild. A little out of control. And if she was being completely honest, she felt like doing something she’d never do otherwise.
Last year was supposed to have been her year, and she’d crashed and burned playing by the rules and following her plan. She’d suffered a humiliating fall in a practice run in Sochi that had ended her career and changed her life. Instead of attacking the changes with her customary gusto, she’d settled into a sort of limbo here in Park City, Utah, at the Lars Usten lodge.
It had been so easy to do. The resort was cushy; her students at the lodge were cute and undemanding. The past six months or so had given her the chance to take it easy and slowly recover from more than knee surgery.
But this year... Well, this year all bets were off. Starting right here right now. The band was playing Van Morrison’s signature hit, and she shot Carter a brazen look. “This is my song.”
“Your song?”
She pointed to her eyes. Oh, God, was she really doing this? “‘Brown Eyed Girl.’”
Yes, it seemed she was.
“Then let’s dance,” he said, grabbing her wrist and leading her onto the dance floor. He swung her around to face him, and she let go and pretended she didn’t know all the things she knew about Carter.
That he played fast and loose with life and women. That he was a rebel risk taker who had caused more than one accident on the slopes. That he liked to put his hand on her hip and hold her close while they danced.
And he smelled good. A clean, crisp scent that reminded her of being outside and on the slopes.
She turned away from him.
She wasn’t herself tonight. She should dance off the dance floor and out the door. Go home and forget about trying to be something and someone she wasn’t.
Except she was lost.
Really lost...and she needed something to make her feel alive again. Something that going sixty miles per hour down the side of a mountain used to do but couldn’t anymore.
“Gorgeous? You okay?”
No. Definitely not okay, but confessing that to Carter wasn’t something she was going to do.
“Just thirsty.”
“Let me get you a drink. Grab us some seats and we can chat.”
“What would we possibly have to chat about?” she asked. “The charity event to get kids skiing that we’re both working on. I know that’s not until next November, but we are both playing a key role in it.” His eyes gleamed with mischief. “Or the fact that, come midnight, I’m going to kiss you. I’ll let you pick.”
Suddenly tongue-tied, she watched him turn away and slowly weave his way through the crowd. He was popular, and everyone stopped him to chat or snap a quick selfie. And he smiled and acted as though he enjoyed it.
Heck, he probably did. She’d heard her coach say he loved the spotlight and the spotlight loved him. And she’d never seen any evidence to the contrary. How did he do it?
She wished there was some way she could claim his confidence for herself. To make herself into the invincible badass that Carter was. But the truth was she wasn’t that type of girl, and no matter how much she tried, she wasn’t going to change overnight.
Part of the problem was that she’d just come from an incredibly romantic winter wedding that seemed to emphasize that she was alone. Added to that, the bride’s maid of honor, Penny, had recently hooked up with Will, her handsome vacation fling, which was quickly turning into something that was bound to last a lot longer.
And she was alone.
Lonely.
Desperate...
No. Not desperate. Though it did feel that way until Carter came back with a lemon-drop martini for her and some kind of mixed drink for himself. He slid in next to her at the high table instead of across from her and draped his arm along the back of the seat.
He canted his body toward hers and she thought, What the hell. She wasn’t going to start another year the way she had all the rest. This year was going to be different, and Carter Shaw would be hers tonight.
* * *
CARTER HAD WANTED Lindsey since the first time he’d seen her. They’d both been two hotshot seventeen-year-olds being interviewed on ESPN, and when she’d looked straight at him with her pretty chocolate-brown eyes, he’d felt that spark shoot through his body.
But she’d always been the ultimate ice queen. Too cool for someone as wild and risky as he’d always been. But he’d gotten to know her better now. More than ten years later, he still wanted her, but he saw her through the eyes of a man and not a lusty boy.
Though, in all honesty, gazing at her now, looking like a gorgeous goddess, she still made him horny as hell.
And it was New Year’s Eve. He’d spent more of them than he wanted to admit higher than the Rocky Mountains and with people whose names he couldn’t recall.
He knew he’d changed over the course of the past year. The winter games had given him a check in the last box of his goals list. And it had been a sobering wake-up call when he’d witnessed Lindsey crash and realized his Nordic angel had feet of clay. Seeing her career end so quickly and unexpectedly had made him understand that he needed to look at his own life. He wasn’t going to be able to snowboard forever at the top level of his event.
So he’d come here to Park City... Okay, in part to be closer to her. To see if maybe she’d be interested in him now that she wasn’t so focused on training 24/7. But she still looked straight through him, as if he was just another man in the room. He wanted to be the only man in the room she saw.
Especially tonight.
“So, gorgeous, have you been thinking about that kiss?” he asked smoothly.
He sure had. It was hard to think of anything else when he was standing so close to her. Tonight she had her long, pale hair pulled back into an elegant updo. Tendrils framed her heart-shaped face and accentuated her long neck. Her mouth was full and sensuous, and she’d coated it with a sparkly lip gloss, which made it so hard for him to tear his gaze away. He leaned in closer. Almost kissed her before he pulled back.
He was waiting for midnight.
Besides, he had more control than that. He didn’t give in to his baser instincts. Not anymore.
“I can tell it’s been on your mind,” she purred, lifting her hand and running her finger over his lower lip, back and forth, before spreading her fingers out and rubbing them over the stubble on his jaw.
She closed her eyes as she touched him for just a second, nibbling at her bottom lip before her hand dropped away.
“I have. You know I’ve been interested in you forever.”
“Forever?” she said. “That’s a bit of an exaggeration.”
Not really. But admitting to her that she’d been his obsession for the better part of ten years wasn’t something he planned to do tonight.
The band had switched to contemporary dance hits, and the loud, infectious beat pumped through the room. Lindsey swayed to it as she took a sip of her lemon-drop martini. It was sad that he knew what she liked to drink. But in a way she’d always been his safe fantasy. The one thing in his life, however distant, that was good and always just out of reach.
Until now.
He wrapped a wispy tendril of straight blond hair that was hanging along the nape of her neck around his finger. Her locks were exquisitely soft. Her skin, showed off by the stunning emerald-green dress she wore, so pale and creamy.
“Not an exaggeration. When we met at ESPN, I knew I wanted to kiss you.”
She pursed her lips and tipped her head subtly away from him. “You were a player even then. And we both know you were attempting to throw me off my game. I almost let you.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“My parents. They had sacrificed a lot for me to get where I was, and no hotshot snowboarder with a tattoo was going to change that.”
“With a tattoo. Is this a mark against me?” he asked, rubbing the side of his neck at the site of his first tattoo. It was a courage symbol that he’d seen in Japan when his father, an international businessman, had taken him there for a trip. Carter had been sixteen at the time and had snowboarded in Nagano while his father had worked. The tattoo had been his way of getting his father’s attention while also proving to himself that he hadn’t needed it. What could he say? He’d been a teenager.
She traced the design with her long, sparkly painted fingernail. “Not now. But back then you seemed wild and reckless. Too much for me. I needed to concentrate on my skiing.”
“You were the fast one,” he said with a wink. He knew that a lot of people thought what he did was dangerous—the flips and the 360s—but Lindsey had thrown her body down the mountain at speeds in excess of sixty miles per hour. Something that never failed to turn him on.
She scraped her finger down the column of his neck, sending delicious shivers through his body, and his cock stirred. Seeing his reaction, she leaned in closer, closed her eyes and released a sigh.
“Why is it that you are always racing ahead of me, then?” she asked in a soft whisper spoken right in his ear.
His ability to think was gone. Her breath was warm and her finger kept stroking his neck. All he could think about was her mouth. And how close it was to his. He turned his head to kiss her. Needed to feel her lips under his. But a waitress bumped into their table, jostling the drinks, and Lindsey pulled back.
Carter cursed under his breath but put on a smile for the cocktail waitress, who looked stricken. “No worries.”
“These are for you,” she said, setting down two cards and handing them Lars Usten Resort and Spa pens before walking away.
* * *
IT WAS ONE THING to decide she was going to spend the night with Carter, but she was finding it altogether more unnerving than she would have expected. In movies she’d seen the woman go after the guy, and then there would be a montage of kisses or dancing that ended up with the couple in bed. But she’d always been awkward at this stage.
There was something about Carter that for her was irresistible. His tattoo had fascinated her for a long time, and that stubble of his was just as a soft as she’d imagined it would be. She was letting the martini power her courage tonight...and she had to admit she liked it.
A lot.
“What is this?” She pulled the card the waitress had dropped on their table toward her. He’d been about to kiss her, and though she wanted that kiss, she was glad for the reprieve. She only needed a kiss at midnight. Not a public make-out session before that.
“Some sort of resolutions form,” he said. “So, gorgeous, what do you want for this New Year?”
She arched a brow. “Why do you keep calling me that?”
“Because you are gorgeous,” he said with another sly wink. “Plus, I’m sort of afraid if I say your name, you’ll remember you don’t like me.”
“Ah, I wouldn’t say I don’t like you,” she demurred. He was a little too wild and too out of control to be someone she felt comfortable with most of the time, but tonight that appealed to her. She wanted to forget who she was. Forget the past year had happened and wake up on January 1 as someone else.
That was pitiful, she thought. She should stop drinking. She’d had two martinis, and while she wasn’t drunk, she did have that nice little buzz. But it was the maudlin thoughts that bothered her.
“Okay. What would you say about me, then?”
“I like that tattoo,” she admitted. “And your stubble. How do you get it so soft?”
He laughed. “I’ve got more tattoos if you like that one.”
“You do?” she asked. “Where?”
“I’ll show you if you play your cards right.”
She flushed a little. Not as bold as she wanted to be, but she wasn’t backing away. She was doing this. She was going to be impulsive. And daring. Not Lindsey-like.
Needing a distraction, she glanced down at the resolution list on the card. “Do you do resolutions?”
“Seriously?” he asked with a mocking look. “Do I look like someone who wants to better myself?”
She shook her head, but realized in that instant that he was playing at being the bad-boy snowboarder she’d always thought he was. “I’m not sure about that. I think there is a big part of Carter Shaw the world never gets to see.”
He shook his head. “Nah. I mean, there are those tattoos, but otherwise, what you see is what you get.”
She doubted that. She was on to him. Why did he work so hard to be something he wasn’t? For that matter, why did she? Because it was easier than letting the world see who she truly was.
“What food do you want to try next year?” she asked, reading from the list and hoping that she could keep her courage until midnight. Only another fifteen minutes. She wanted him. She wanted this New Year’s Eve to be different from all the rest.
“Food, eh?” He wrinkled his forehead. “Not sure. I’m going with one of my cousins on a trip in Iceland to see a reindeer farm. So maybe reindeer?”
“I bet it doesn’t taste like chicken,” she said with a half smile. “When is that trip?”
“In the fall. It’s a Northern Lights trip. We spend three weeks up close to the Arctic Circle living with the locals and watching each night for the aurora borealis.”
That sounded...cold, but intriguing. “Have you done anything like that before?”
“Nah. This is the first year that I’m not competing anymore.”
She looked at him in surprise. “What? Why not?” If not for her reconstructed knee, she’d still be training and focusing on four years from now. The next winter games.
“I have gold medals and more titles that one man could ask for. It’s time to set my sights on something else.”
“Such as...?” she asked, leaning closer. This is what she was searching for. What came after competing the way they had for most of their life? It was different for Carter because he’d been born with a silver spoon in his mouth. A little rich kid who got whatever he wanted. But that had only carried him so far. She knew that he’d worked as hard as she had to get to the winter games.
“Not sure. But this is my year of adventure. My year to find out. I’m working on that charity you’re involved with to help kids get started in winter sports, because that’s new for me. The old man is glad to see me giving back. Can you believe he said that to me?” Carter scowled. “I’ve given back a lot over the years.”
For a moment she caught a glimpse of the real Carter. “You have. I’ve heard about the board you developed. It changed snowboarding.”
“Yeah, that was nothing,” he said, flashing a grin at her. And the real man disappeared behind that flirty facade. “So what new food are you going to try?”
“Nothing exotic like you. I have a thing about dairy and have usually not eaten cheese. I know that sounds silly but this year I think I’ll give it a try.”
He lifted a brow. “Cheese?”
“Yes.”
“You seriously don’t eat cheese?” he asked.
She had friends who acted the same way when she mentioned it. “I don’t like dairy stuff usually.”
“Cheeseburgers?”
“Nope.”
“Pizza?” he prodded.
“Pesto-based pizza with fresh tomatoes. No cheese.”
“Weirdo,” he said.
“Like you’re normal!”
“Who wants to be normal?” he scoffed. “Okay...all kidding aside, what new thing are you really going to try?”
She looked at him for a long minute before the two lemon-drop martinis and her courage finally caught up with her mouth. “You.”
2 (#u5df39c43-8816-5d30-ac4b-6dac9cd1209c)
“ME?”
“Yes, you. Remember all those times you badgered me for a kiss?” she asked.
He did. It had been a game for him since that first meeting. He’d wanted her, but she was out of his league. A classy woman—even at seventeen—who wouldn’t give him a second glance. Of course, that hadn’t stopped him. He’d teased her relentlessly, invaded her personal space and kept clamoring for a kiss.
“The last time I asked I thought I spooked you,” he said, getting to the heart of the reason why he was really sitting with Lindsey Collins, who, despite her request for a kiss, would more than likely not end up in his bed this evening. He’d pushed her in Sochi. Had goaded her into agreeing that she’d kiss him if he beat his world-record time, and still she hadn’t.
Not that he’d ever really expected her to fulfill her end of the bargain.
To him it had seemed like a simple little bet. Something to push her, because it had been ten years of flirting and it had seemed ridiculous to continue playing that game. And he’d been feeling trapped by his coach and sponsors, who’d wanted him to sign a new deal to keep doing the same thing he’d always done. So instead of acting like a man, he’d done what he always did and sought out Lindsey before her run to demand what he’d always wanted from her.
“It wasn’t you. God, please, don’t think that crash had anything to do with you,” she said, reaching over to put her hand on his.
She leaned in, and the scent of her perfume filled the air around him. Her brown eyes were sincere as they met his. She squeezed his hand. “My crash was... I’m not sure what, but it wasn’t you. I’ve been over the footage a million times. I wish that was an exaggeration, but it’s not. I’ve watched it over and over again, trying to figure out what I could have done differently. Did you see how smooth I was at the top?”
“I did.” He’d watched her run like everyone else. But for him, he’d felt that sense of pride he always did in her. He’d thought this time she’d beat him, and maybe that would put an end to his pursuit of her. Because she’d told him if she won that was the end of his kissing taunts.
But instead she’d crashed midway through her run. Her body and skis tumbling over each other. His heart had stopped beating for a second. She’d looked small and fragile as she’d crashed into the bright orange safety webbing. Guilt and fear had warred inside him.
“Well, it wasn’t you. I think I hit the snow wrong out of the gate. My coach has a couple of theories, as well. But, honestly, I’m not so scared of being kissed that I’d crash.
“Kissed lots of guys, have you?”
She made a face. “A lady doesn’t tell.”
“Apologies.”
“But I don’t mind telling you that the anticipation with you has been killing me. I want to believe when you do kiss me it will be spectacular. However, given that it’s been ten years of waiting, I can’t rule out the possibility that it might be a dud.”
He laughed. Threw his head back and just forgot everything else in this moment except for Lindsey. She was as nutty as he was but just covered it up better.
“It might. Or it could be the best damned thing either of us ever experiences.”
She let go of his hand and settled back against the seat. “I guess that’s why I’ve made you my resolution.”
There was something different about her tonight. The wedding earlier had made him start thinking about things that he usually ignored. That and the fact that beginning tomorrow he was no longer only an athlete. He didn’t have to train every day; he was going to chart a new path.
“Champagne or sparkling grape juice?” the cocktail waitress asked as she approached their table with a tray of drinks.
The Lars Usten Resort knew the party was going strong. Behind her was another waitress with hats with the year marked out in glitter and some kind of horn.
“Juice for me,” Carter said. He didn’t want to dull a single moment of the night with Lindsey, and although he liked to believe he could handle whatever life had thrown at him, he did it better when he was sober.
“Juice?” Lindsey asked, arching one eyebrow. “Champagne for me.”
The waitress set their drinks in front of them, and then they were each given a hat. For him a top hat. For her a tiara. She promptly put it on her head and turned to bat her eyelashes at him. “Do I look like a princess now?”
“The queen should be afraid you’re after her title,” he murmured.
“As if. I’m not after anything. You’re lucky, Carter. Lucky that you still have snowboarding. Life is very strange when you don’t have to get up every day and train,” she said, taking a sip of her champagne.
Not exactly what he’d been hoping to hear. “I think you’re supposed to wait for the toast to drink that.”
She smiled mischievously. “Going to tell on me?”
He shook his head. “Your secret’s safe with me, Linds.” How could he possibly deny this woman anything? She enchanted him. And he had to admit, she was a total mystery. He’d teased and cajoled her for his own amusement but had never really taken the time to get to know her. Tonight was showing him that all the preconceived notions he’d had were wrong.
She wasn’t the ice queen she’d always been on the snow. She was real and fragile and so damned tempting...
* * *
LINDSEY HAD NEVER worn a tiara before. Even though this one was plastic with fake gems, she was still thrilled to be wearing it. It made her feel girlie. “This is my first real New Year’s Eve party. Pitiful, isn’t it?”
“Not really. Your life was focused in a different direction.”
“Yeah, but you were training and still found time to party,” she said.
“I’m good at multitasking,” he replied.
“Most men really aren’t.”
He gave her a cynical look. “Really? You want to do the whole ‘battle of the sexes’ thing? Tonight?”
She didn’t. She wanted to enjoy the fact that she felt like a normal girl instead of someone apart from the mainstream. The Ice Queen, the media had labeled her. But the truth was, she had gotten so used to keeping her feelings hidden it was hard for her to actually show them.
“Of course not. I had no idea your ego was so thin,” she teased.
“It’s not. But you should know if you throw down what you’re going up against.”
“What? That you’re the boss?” she asked, trying not to smile. Carter had been flouting rules and tradition since the moment she’d met him. She found it really hard to believe that he’d have some hard set-in-stone ideas about anything. But she did believe that if he got into a fight, he’d go full-out and leave nothing.
She was used to winning and knew how to get what she wanted on the slopes but, one-on-one, she had a gut feeling he’d beat her every time. Hard as it was to admit, she just didn’t know how to play a game like this.
She sighed.
Who was she trying to kid here? She wasn’t going to be any different in the New Year than she’d been before. When had she ever been anything other than a stick-in-the-mud, tall, outdoorsy girl who would rather talk about skiing than anything else? Even her own family found her boring at times. Though they were kind about it and would listen to her talk about a new position or when she liked to shift her weight, she’d known they probably weren’t really all that interested.
“Want to dance?” Carter asked, bringing her back to the present. “One last spin around the dance floor to ring out the old year.”
She nodded. “I’d like that. And I’m kissing you at midnight.”
“Should I be on guard?” he murmured, stepping down from the high table and offering her his hand.
She took it and stumbled a little in her high heels. Bracing one hand on his chest, she whispered, “Not really. I know you want to kiss me.”
His blue-gray gaze slowly drifted over her lips before he locked eyes with her once again. “I’m having performance anxiety now that you mentioned it. It might not be that great.”
“I doubt that,” she said. “You never have that.”
“I wish I was as confident as you seem to think I am.”
“Aren’t you?” she breathed, reveling once again in his brisk masculine scent. They were pressed close together due to the crowds streaming in to hear the last song of the year. “You walked into a boardroom filled with executives you ticked off by campaigning to make them let you snowboard on their slopes, and then convinced them to back your charity event. You’ve got nerve, Shaw.”
He had more than that. He seemed to embrace his life in a way she only had when she’d left the gate and started down the slope. She knew people thought what she’d done was dangerous, but to her it had just felt natural. It was a tightly controlled run down the mountain, and she’d spent her lifetime training. So she didn’t credit that for anything other than being something she was good at.
She wanted to throw herself out of the gate of life, too. But she was getting a little nervous now that midnight was approaching. Carter had kissed lots of women; she knew that for a fact from all the gossip in the athlete’s village at the winter games, and from firsthand accounts from other Alpine skiers over the years. As for her... Well, she hadn’t kissed that many men. And the few sexual encounters she’d had were hurried affairs that had left her feeling cold and wanting more.
She didn’t want Carter to be the same. She’d sort of set him on the sex-god pedestal in her mind a long time ago. What if he wasn’t?
Or worse yet, what if he was great and she was the dud?
Ugh! This was what happened when she stepped outside her nice, safe, little zone. Carter stared down at her with those intense eyes of his, and she hoped she looked intriguing or inviting but was afraid she might just seem confused.
“What?”
“We don’t have to dance,” he said softly.
“I want to.” She had in her head an image of New Year’s Eve, and it involved her looking glamorous, which, thanks to the beautiful dress she wore, ticked that box. And she had a very handsome, sexy man who’d just asked her to dance.
She took his hand in hers. It would be too much for the band to play “The Way You Look Tonight,” but in her mind she wanted them to. Instead they danced to “Wrecking Ball.” Something that didn’t speak well for love.
But this wasn’t about love.
This thing between her and Carter had always been about pure lust. And tonight she was finally going to cross the finish line. Get the kiss he’d been taunting her with since they’d met.
The funny thing was, she was just as scared about that today as she had been when she was seventeen. He held her close, and for just a second she rested her head on his strong shoulder. Pretended they were that couple in her mind. The couple who could gaze lovingly into each other’s eyes at midnight and share a kiss so profound it would rock both their worlds.
But then Carter squeezed her hip and slid his hand up the middle of her back.
She tipped her head back to look up at him.
“The countdown is starting.”
It had already begun, Lindsey thought. It had started ten long years ago, and now it came down to this moment.
She licked her lips and couldn’t help but focus on his mouth. Those chiseled, full lips nestled in that closely shorn stubble.
“Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five...”
“Ready?”
“Three. Two. One.”
She went up on tiptoe, wrapped her arms around his neck and met his mouth with hers. His lips were soft, surprising her into parting hers. His breath was warm and minty, and he held her loosely, but she was rooted to the spot.
Around her people were kissing and celebrating, but her world had narrowed to just Carter. Carter Shaw.
Of course, he kissed like a dream. He was the kind of man who’d had lots of practice, but this didn’t feel routine, like something he’d done a million times before. To her it felt special and it awakened the passion she’d tucked away after her crash. It felt as though she was finally able to relax again as he kissed her.
She held his shoulders, and his hands on her waist tightened as he pulled her closer into the curve of his body. His chest was firm against hers. Solid. He held her as if he wasn’t going to let her fall. Or let her crash. And that was exactly what she needed.
She framed his face with her hands. Ran her fingers over that soft stubble of his and then pulled back. But he followed her. Kissing her again, dropping soft and tantalizing kisses along the line of her jaw before he lifted his head to look down at her.
“Not a dud,” he said.
“Not at all. That was...”
“Unexpected?” he suggested in a smooth, sexy voice.
His hands on her waist caressed her. She noticed that as the music changed to “Auld Lang Syne” and he pulled her closer, swayed with her to the music. She didn’t want him to let go. Maybe it was the drinks she’d had tonight or the fact that this was a new year. A new slate for her. But something made this moment with Carter seem almost perfect.
The rational part of her brain tried to say it wasn’t, but she shushed it. For just one night she wanted to be like every other person and not analyze her actions to death. She wanted to live.
She grabbed Carter’s shoulders and pulled him toward her. Caught his mouth with hers and kissed him the way she’d seen it done in the movies. The way she’d tried in the past. She’d found reality and movie kisses didn’t deliver in the same way; they’d always ended up tasting not quite right. But this time, as her tongue slid past his lips and into his mouth, everything felt different. Carter tasted good. His kiss was warm and...yes, perfect. Absolutely, profoundly perfect. He leaned over her and bent her back the slightest bit, angling his head to deepen the kiss. Her pulse was racing, and little tingles shot down her body. He twisted and moved them a few steps off the dance floor.
She felt the hard wall at her back and Carter’s warmth pressed into her. He pulled his mouth from hers, but only went as far as her neck, where he suckled at the skin as his hands roamed up and down her body.
She skimmed her own hands down the strong muscles of his back to his lean hips and tugged him closer. Felt the shaft of his erection against her and knew he wanted more.
She needed more. So much more from him at this moment.
“Want to get out of here?” she asked.
“I’ve got a room at the lodge.” He exhaled roughly. “Is that what you want?”
She nodded.
She didn’t want to talk about it or to discuss it too much or she might change her mind.
And tonight she was being impulsive.
“Yes, I want you.”
“I want you, too. I have for a long time,” he said, taking her hand and leading her out of the dance club. The lobby was quiet, almost shockingly so after the noise in the club. But there were a few staff members who smiled at them and wished them a happy New Year.
She kept her hand laced tightly with Carter’s; trusted him to lead her through this night. This new beginning. The one she’d wanted for so long but hadn’t been sure how to find.
They were alone in the elevator car, and Carter dropped her hand and stood a few inches from her. “Are you sure about this? I don’t want you to have any regrets.”
“I promise you I won’t.” That much she knew was true. She’d regret it more if she walked away from him. If she let this moment pass.
Suddenly she realized that it had been fear holding her here. Fear that had motivated everything she’d done since the crash. The crash that had taken her career and could have taken her life.
She’d been lucky.
Now she wanted to make up for lost time, wanted to make the most of her life, but had been struggling to get over the hump and actually do it.
Figured it would be Carter Shaw who’d push her and get her moving again.
She cupped his butt and squeezed. “Are you having doubts?”
He turned around, and she hadn’t realized how turned on he was by her until that moment. He moved toward her, backed her up against the side of the elevator car and kissed her full-on, his entire body pressing provocatively against hers.
His chest rubbed over her breasts, his hips canted in toward her and she felt the brush of his erection at her center. His hands went to the back of her head as his mouth hungrily claimed hers. He kissed her with a long, deep kiss that left her trembling and wanting so much more.
The bell dinged and the elevator doors slid open. But still he kissed her as if he couldn’t let her go. The doors started to slide shut, and he pulled back and cursed. He shoved his foot out to stop them from closing and tugged her behind him as he stepped into the hallway.
“I’m not changing my mind, gorgeous. I can promise you that.”
3 (#u5df39c43-8816-5d30-ac4b-6dac9cd1209c)
CARTER LED HER into his suite. He’d left the light on over the bed because he had never been a fan of a dark room. Kissing Lindsey was like the first time he’d hopped in the half-pipe and had the ride of his life.
She’d awakened something inside him that was so much more than physical. It was easy to say the affection and lust roiling through him right now was due to the day he’d spent with her. They’d both been in the bridal party. Lindsey as a bridesmaid and Carter as a groomsman. The other couple standing up for Elizabeth and Bradley was a real couple, so she and Carter had sort of been forced together. In spite of all his faults, he’d never been a big fan of lying, even to himself.
She cupped his butt again and groaned. He wanted to take this slow, but if she kept fondling him it was going to be a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am encounter up against the wall of his hotel room.
Even the thought of that made him shiver. God, he wanted her.
“Want a drink?” he asked, forcing himself to take a few steps from her. He hoped the distance would clear his head and maybe penetrate the red haze of lust that was surrounding him. Make him remember he’d wanted her for a long time. Their first time should be epic.
“There is only one thing in this room that I want, Carter Shaw, and I’m looking straight at him.”
She kicked off her high heels as she sauntered toward him, her hand under her arm. For a moment it looked as if she was cupping her own breast. He groaned as she slowly dragged her hand down the side of her own body. The dress gaped and he realized she was getting naked.
“Slow down, gorgeous, we have all night,” he said, toeing off his shoes as she closed the distance he’d put between them.
“It’s midnight, Carter, which means we only have six more hours until morning. Until the cold light of day. I don’t want to waste a second of it.”
She was different. He wanted to be, too. He wanted to just go with it and pretend that this was the real Lindsey. Except he knew it wasn’t.
Was she playing a game tonight?
She placed her palm flat on his chest, and then leaned into him. The scent of her perfume once again surrounding him, inundating his senses. Pressing even closer, she went up on tiptoe to kiss his neck, just above his tattoo, as her hands pushed his jacket off his shoulders and down his arms.
He let the jacket fall to the floor, then slipped one of his hands into the gap in her unzipped dress. Her skin was cool and satiny smooth. He felt his way over her ribs toward her breasts. Her breath hitched, and she caught the lobe of his ear between her teeth and bit down lightly.
“I’m curious where those other tattoos of yours are,” she said, her fingers moving between them and undoing the buttons at the front of his shirt.
Her breath brushed over his neck and made him throb even more. Shivers spread down his body; blood pooled in all the right places, making his skin sensitive and cock rock hard. He stopped thinking of how he wanted this to be and just followed her lead.
Lindsey wasn’t going to let him put her off her goal. And as she’d said downstairs, her resolution for the year was him. He’d never been anyone’s anything special before. Fun time, sure, but that wasn’t all he intended to be for Lindsey tonight.
He pushed his hand farther into her dress, up her back, and found the clasp of her bra. Undoing it with one hand and then rubbing his hand between her shoulder blades, pulling her closer to him as he lowered his head to take her mouth with his.
She tasted like the promise of a night he’d never forget. Her mouth was both languid and passionate under his. Her tongue tangled against his in a slow, sensuous dance that felt as though it would never end. As though it didn’t have to end tonight.
Her hands slid under his shirt, her fingers cool against the fabric of his T-shirt, and he felt the bite of her nails into his pecs. “Where is your skin? How am I going to see these rumored tattoos of I can’t get to you?”
A laugh rumbled through him. “Sit on the bed.”
“No.”
“I thought you wanted to see me?”
“I do, but that doesn’t mean you get to be bossy,” she said.
Lindsey slipped her hands up over his shoulders again and pushed his dress shirt down his arms. “You forgot my cuffs.”
“No, I didn’t,” she drawled. “I think you’ll see that you are trapped. And I am in charge.”
He wasn’t trapped at all. He might not have a full range of motion, but he could still hold on to her waist, which he did. But she stepped back and put her finger right in the center of his chest. “Why don’t you go sit on the bed?”
He laughed again, that jolt of lust and joy taking him by surprise. And he did what she asked, slowly working his hands to free them as he sat. As soon as his hands were free, he leaned back on his elbows and arched one eyebrow as he looked over at her. “Okay, now what?”
“Hmm...let me see.” She moved forward, straddled him on the bed and brought her mouth down hard on his. She sucked his tongue into her mouth, and everything inside him came to attention as she nipped his tongue and then abruptly stood. “Take off your T-shirt.”
“Take off your dress. I’m dying to see what you look like without it.”
“Can I keep my tiara on?” she asked impishly.
“Definitely. I think the Ice Queen should always wear her crown.”
She stepped away, shimmied out of her dress and then let her bra slowly slide down her torso, pulling first one arm free and then the other and dangling it from one finger. She stood there with that cool Nordic beauty. His gorgeous ice queen, very sure of herself and her appeal.
He started to get up, but she wagged her finger at him. “Did I say you could move?”
“I think you’re going to want me to move,” he told her.
“Not yet.”
He sank back on the bed and grimaced as his slacks cut into his erection. He shifted and then thought, To hell with it, and unzipped his pants, pushing them down his legs.
“You look good, Carter. You could be an underwear model.”
He’d done a few ads in his day, but lately he preferred to keep some things for himself and his lovers. His body was one of them. He stood and slowly pulled the hem of his T-shirt up past his abdomen as he closed the gap between them. She reached out and traced the tattoo on his left side. Her fingers were warm and seeking as they moved over him.
The design disappeared into the top of his boxer briefs, and she pulled the elastic waistband away from his skin, pushing the side of the briefs down so she could see the entire thing.
“Is this a mountain?”
“Yes. Nagano.”
“Why Nagano?”
He let out a groan. “Now? You want to talk now?” he asked, painfully aware that he could barely string together two words as she leaned lower to examine his ink. Her beautiful, lush breasts swayed forward and her breath brushed over his hip. She was so close to his cock, he could only think of twisting his hips so that he could feel her touch where he desired it most.
“I guess not. But later,” she said, “I want to know more about it.”
“Later,” he growled, cupping her breasts, rubbing his palm over the center of her nipples and gently fondling them.
She caressed his upper body and pushed the T-shirt up and over his head. He stopped stroking her as she tossed it aside. Again she put her hand in the center of his chest and pushed against him. He walked backward until he felt the edge of the bed at the back of his thighs, and put his arm around her waist, dragging her forward with him as he sat. Inhaling her sweet, womanly scent, he pulled her onto his lap so she straddled him.
She reached up and did something with her hair, letting it fall around her shoulders as she leaned forward. Staring at him with passion-glazed eyes, she cupped his face, rubbed her fingers through his short stubble and then leaned down to kiss him. Not a dominating one, as earlier, but one that promised that the games were over. He held her close to him with one hand on her hip, and let his other hand caress her, starting at the back of her neck and then slowly moving down the back of her spine. He felt her shiver as he traced his way around the tiny indentation right above her buttocks.
He caressed her hips, and she rocked forward against him, then winced. Her knee. He’d forgotten that she’d injured it a year ago. He scooted back on the bed and rolled them onto their sides so they were facing each other.
“Sorry,” she whispered.
“Hey, gorgeous,” he said, lightly running his hand down the side of her body over her curves. “It’s okay. How’s the knee?”
“Fine. It was just the angle.”
“Then let’s find a better angle,” he suggested. “One where we don’t have to think about anything but each other.”
She nodded. But the confidence that had been driving her had waned. He could read it in her eyes. “I guess I’m in charge now.”
Just as he suspected, the thought of the power shift was enough to nudge any embarrassment Lindsey had over her knee out of her subconscious. She gave him an arched look, raised herself up onto her elbow and put her finger to the middle of his chest again.
“Not so fast.” She leaned over him, slowly following the pattern of his chest hair as it narrowed down his belly and disappeared into the top of his boxer briefs. Then she dipped her finger under the elastic and brushed the tip of his cock, and his hips jerked forward.
He breathed in and out, struggling to stay in control. Then he reached for her and mimicked her caress. He started in the middle of her chest and traced his finger down around each of her breasts, and then lower to her belly button. He drew a small circle around it and then leaned over to trace the path with his mouth. But he lingered at her breasts, catching her nipple in his mouth and sucking as he continued to fondle her belly button.
She pushed her hand into his underwear and slid her hand up and down his shaft. He shivered in response, felt as though he was going to lose it, but instead rocked himself against her touch. He liked it. Her fingers were long, and she wrapped them around his length, stroking up and down within the confines of his underwear.
He lifted his lips from her breast to move lower, kissing each of her ribs, and her hand slid off him as he did so. She let her fingers drift up his body and around to his back. Caressing the area near his tattoo, her fingers moved gently over the imprint as he tongued her belly button and then dipped his head lower. He peeled her underwear over her hips and down her long legs, stopping to kiss the scars at her knee, and then tossed them to the floor.
He shoved his own briefs off, ready to be totally naked.
“Are you on the pill?” he asked.
“What?” She seemed dazed, and he realized that he’d jarred her.
“Are you protected from pregnancy?”
She nodded. “Are you clean?”
Fair question, given his reputation, but still... “Yes. Are you?”
“Of course,” she said.
“Good.”
He moved so that he could take her ankles in his hands to raise her legs. He smiled as she propped herself up on her elbows.
She was spread out in front of him, her tousled blond hair falling around her shoulders, her pink-tipped breasts rising and falling with each breath she took. His eyes traced her nipped-in waist and the soft blond curls at the apex of her thighs. The long smooth legs that he’d admired often when she’d worn snow pants.
She had a great ass, but he’d save that for next time. Tonight was special. It was the first time, and he wanted it to be just right. Wanted to see her face, so that in his mind he’d always have this image of Lindsey.
Naked. Wanting. Completely his.
He brought her foot to his chest and caressed her leg, starting at the ankle and working his way to her thigh, stopping just short of her center. Then he did the same with her other leg, lingering over the scars on her fully healed knee. Next he used his mouth on the same path, and when he got to the apex of her thighs, she sighed and tangled her hands in his hair as he parted her and kissed her most intimate flesh.
She shifted under him, her heels pushing down on the bed as she lifted her hips toward his mouth. He flicked his tongue over her and then moved lower to taste her. She slipped her hands across his back, her nails digging into his shoulders as his mouth took full possession of her. Her thighs came up on either side of his face as she thrashed underneath him.
She tried to pull him up over her, but the taste of her was addicting and he couldn’t get enough of it. His cock was hard and he wanted to be buried deep inside her, but he didn’t want to have to stop tasting her, either.
He swirled his tongue around the little pink bud at the center of her and felt it swell under him. Her nails dug into his shoulders, and she made a breathy sort of moaning noise that let him know she liked it. He slipped his finger inside, stroking her. He kept it up until she tugged at his hair, and he lifted his head.
“Carter.”
“Yes, gorgeous?”
“I want you inside me.”
“I am inside you,” he said.
She sighed and shifted on the bed, bending at the waist, finding his cock first with her hand and then with her mouth. He felt her tongue feather down the side of his shaft as her fingers lightly caressed his balls. She squeezed him as she took the tip of him inside her mouth, her tongue swirling all around it.
A drop left him, and he pulled back. This first time he wanted to come inside her body. Wanted to see her face as they both climaxed.
His hips jerked, and he realized that if she kept this up, he wasn’t going to last at all. He pulled his hips back, sitting up and noticing the very satisfied look on her face. Evidently she’d gotten what she wanted. She was a minx, and seeing this side of her made him wonder what else he thought he knew about Lindsey that he didn’t.
But he didn’t mind, because he was getting what he wanted, too. He took her hands in his, stretching them above her head as he levered his body over hers, shifting his hips until he felt the opening of her body.
“Got your way,” he rasped. “I hope you’re ready for me.”
“I am.” She lifted her hips as she wrapped her legs around him, and he slid into her. She held him tight to her and moved her hips to bring him closer each time. Cupping his buttocks, she pulled him.
She was tight and felt so good that he drove all the way home and immediately pulled back to do it again. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, lifting herself up to whisper hot words of need and desire in his ear. She told him how much she wanted him. How she needed him deeper and deeper.
And he did exactly what she asked. Drove himself into her again and again, deeper each time. He felt shivers run down his spine. Reached between them to caress her clit because he knew he wasn’t going to make it much longer. He was going to come and he wanted—needed—to make sure she did, as well.
She moaned his name, bit his neck and arched her body frantically underneath him and then cried out. He felt her body tighten around him, her inner walls gripping his cock and urging him on. Pounding into her, harder and faster than before, he gazed down into those big chocolate-brown eyes as he felt his orgasm rush through him.
He emptied himself inside her and then collapsed, careful to support his weight with his arms. He dragged one of his hands from where he’d held hers, caressing her arm and shoulder, and then rolled to his side, keeping their bodies joined as he cuddled her close.
She rested her head on his shoulder and ran her fingers over his chest. He felt each exhalation of her breath against his skin, and she sighed a little.
Did she regret this?
“I guess that proves it.”
“Proves what, gorgeous?” he asked, almost afraid of her answer. He wanted to lie here with her in his arms and just pretend for a moment that he didn’t have to let her go.
“That you’re not a dud,” she said.
4 (#u5df39c43-8816-5d30-ac4b-6dac9cd1209c)
HER BODY TINGLED, and she felt more alive than she had in the past year. She pushed herself from Carter and leaned back on her elbow so she could watch him. God, a man shouldn’t look like this. Not when he was lying next to her in bed. He was all sinew and muscle and, despite his reputation for being debauched, he was in very good shape.
He’d said he was retiring from snowboarding but there was no evidence of that in his lean, hard body.
His eyes were half-closed; he had one hand on her waist, idly gliding up and down her side. His hands were large but sort of soft when he touched her. The confidence and the courage that had brought her up to his room and into his bed were still there. Buzzing around in her mind, which was a little fuzzy from the drinks she’d had and the sex.
God, she’d had no idea sex could be like that. Could be that good. She understood now why so many people were tempted to miss their training schedules for it.
“Was it a surprise for you?” she asked a bit tentatively. Maybe this was the way it always was for him.
He fully opened his eyes, turning his blue-gray gaze on her. “What?”
“The sex. Or is it always like that for you?”
“Damn, gorgeous, the things you ask,” he said. Scrubbing a hand over his eyes, he grabbing a pillow from the head of the bed and bunched it up under his head.
“If I don’t ask I’ll never know. And you are a player,” she reminded him.
He arched one dark eyebrow at her.
“Not going to try to deny it, are you? I heard about many of your hook-ups over the years.”
“Why would I when you wouldn’t believe me anyway?”
“I don’t know. Actually, I really don’t know you,” she admitted. She traced the tattoo of Nagano on his hip. She’d skied there at a world-cup competition twice. She traced the path down his hip and noticed that he let her, just kept still while she ran her finger over his skin.
She didn’t know what to do next. She hadn’t been kidding when she’d said this wasn’t her kind of situation. And let’s face it, most etiquette books didn’t cover what to do when a woman ended up in bed with a bad-boy snowboarder. In fact, her mom would have probably said don’t end up there. She was practical like that.
He sat up and caught her hand in his, bringing it ever so slowly to his lips. He kissed her palm and then looked her straight in the eye. She saw the sincerity his gaze and something else. Something she couldn’t really define.
He leaned closer. She closed her eyes because it felt too intense. The room smelled of sex and Carter. That spicy aftershave she’d noticed that lingered in the air after they’d had a conversation.
“It was special for me, too.”
“Why do you think that is?” she asked, opening her eyes and almost smiling. She wanted to hear that she was different from the other women. Carter had exceeded her wildest expectations and made her realize that the safe dates and bed partners she’d had in the past weren’t the norm.
He laughed again. “Give me a minute to wash up, and then we can continue this conversation.”
He got out of the bed and padded naked to the bathroom, returning a moment later with a warm washcloth for her to use. He took it back into the bathroom, and while she was alone, she glanced around the room and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror over the desk. She notice her tiara with the year on it on its side near the bed.
She placed it on the nightstand before scooting up and getting under the covers. As she leaned back against the headboard, she realized he might not want her to stay.
This would have been easier if she’d taken him to her place. Then she maybe she wouldn’t feel so awkward.
He strode back into the room with all the grace and elegance of a tiger.
She forced a smile and what she liked to think of as her game face. The expression she used in the press room after a bad run, or when she’d had to go in front of the media and act as though it hadn’t mattered that her career in skiing was over after her fall.
Watching his muscles moving with each step he took, she realized he was a perfect specimen. Not like her body, which was broken and bore fresh scars. She envied him his healthy body. Tamping down her roiling emotions, she shook her head. She wasn’t going down that path tonight.
Instead, the sheet falling to her waist, she drank him in.
“Dammit.”
“What’s wrong?” she asked in alarm.
“You make me want to start all over again.”
“Start what?” She wasn’t following him.
“Sex,” he said. “I’ve just had you but I want you again. Want to take my time and make sure that I haven’t missed one glorious spot on your body.”
She arched one eyebrow at him. “I don’t think you did. But first I want to hear why you think I’m special.”
He rubbed a hand over his chest and came to sit next to her on the bed. “Gorgeous, you’ve always been special to me.”
That was a nonanswer if she ever heard it, but it was New Year’s Day. He was her little gift to start out a fabulous year, and she guessed from his tone that discussing their past wasn’t exactly what he had in mind.
She sighed, but the drinks and her emotions were catching up with her. She traced his tattoo and thought of all the risks she’d taken in her life and how they’d paid off for her. Carter Shaw was the biggest one. She’d come to his room for a night of pleasure and hopefully to jar herself out of the sameness that her life had taken on.
That was it.
It was hard, though, because she was a planner, and to face any situation knowing that she didn’t have a proved strategy made her edgy and scared.
* * *
IF SHE’D BEEN any other woman, he would have been happy to climb back into that bed and have another round of mind-numbing sex. But this was Lindsey. His gorgeous Nordic angel who’d always been different. And tonight was no exception.
She kept touching him in that innocent way of hers that turned him on, but more than that, she seemed to touch him as if she wasn’t thinking about it.
“Tell me about this tattoo.”
That she’d changed the subject kind of let him off the hook and also disappointed him the tiniest bit. He wanted her to demand some answers from him, not let him keep skating by on the surface. But she saw him the way every other woman did. She was different to him but he wasn’t different to her.
It hurt for a split second before he shrugged it aside and shifted to lie next to her. He pulled a couple of pillows closer and propped them under his head.
“What about it?”
“When did you get it?”
“On a trip to Japan with my dad when I was a teenager.”
“How on earth did you convince them to give you a tattoo...or did your dad okay it?” she asked with a smile.
Carter thought of his old man and how, back then, he’d been sort of his enemy. Now that he was an adult they got on well, but growing up, his dad had seemed like this guy who had never really lived or ever done anything daring. The exact opposite of everything that Carter wanted to be. His mom had died in childbirth, and his dad had never recovered.
“No, he didn’t approve. But I was on my own, spoke decent Japanese and looked like I was eighteen. I knew from the moment I’d seen the mountain that I wanted it. I wanted to snowboard down it, learn its paths and twists and turns. Try to capture some of its wildness.”
He lifted his head and stared down into her pretty brown eyes. She smiled in response. “That’s almost poetic. Watch it, Shaw, your badass image is slipping.”
“I got ink at sixteen. That’s pretty badass,” he retorted, trying to push aside the feelings she called easily to the surface. He wasn’t one of those guys who spent much time thinking heavy thoughts. So he could only blame Lindsey and this evening for stirring up those old memories.
“And now you’re twenty-seven and retiring? Time flies, doesn’t it?” she said, rolling onto her back and lifting her arms up above her head.
The movement forced her breasts into prominence, and he reached over and feathered his fingers across them. Slowly stroking her skin, which was very smooth and very warm. Addicting almost. He never wanted to stop touching her.
She turned over again, facing him. “I don’t want to talk about the past.”
“Me, either.”
The present was way more interesting than the things he’d done in the past. For instance, this was the first time he was close enough to hold Lindsey in his arms. Close enough to notice that on her rib cage just below her breast she had a small birthmark. He leaned in to kiss it.
“What are you doing?”
“Memorizing you. Trying to make sure I know every inch of you.”
“I thought it took guys a while to recover after sex,” she said.
He shook his head and laughed. “Some guys. Some of the time. I think it depends on the woman and man. It’s not taking me any time with you.”
“Why do you think that is?” she asked curiously. “Is it back to me being special?”
He caressed her side, starting at her shoulder and working his way slowly down to her hip. “I don’t know why. It’s not something I’ve ever analyzed. Why would I? Sex is supposed to be fun, not figures put in a spreadsheet.”
“Is it?” she mused. “That hasn’t always been my experience, but then I haven’t done the amount of experimenting you have.”
“Gorgeous, you’re pushing me. I’m not sure why.”
“I’m scared,” she admitted. “This seemed like fun in the bar, but now that I’m up here, I don’t know how to act or what to do next. I’m not used to that.”
He sighed. “There is no right or wrong action here. We make up our own rules, okay?”
He wanted her to be different, and she was. She made him feel alive in a way that only snowboarding had before. Something he’d never found in any of his personal relationships. Maybe it was just the novelty of sleeping with a girl he’d wanted since he was seventeen. Or maybe it was just the place he was in at this moment in his life.
But he didn’t want her to think they had to behave in a certain way. With other woman he’d been different—happy for the sex, but not wanting anything more. It had been casual and friendly with no feelings getting hurt. But this was Lindsey, and he needed more.
More? How much more, he had no idea. This was all new to him, too.
“Okay, so what kind of rules should we have?” she asked. “Are we going to do this again?”
“Um...I thought that was obvious,” he said, gesturing to his erection.
She laughed, and the sound washed over him like a warm bit of sunshine on a cold day.
A moment later she reached for him, stroked her hand up and down his cock, and then leaned down to kiss him. “Okay, so after that—then what?”
“We’ll figure it out. This is one thing we don’t have to train for or have a rigorous schedule about.” She nodded, and he saw that something was going on inside her head, but he had no idea what it was. What was it she was thinking? He thought maybe he shouldn’t let himself get distracted, but for tonight he’d had enough conversation.
He had a naked Lindsey in his bed and he intended to enjoy her.
* * *
THEY FELL ASLEEP in each other’s arms after making love the second time, and when Lindsey woke, it was to the soft snores coming from Carter. He was turned on his side, facing her, and their fingers were linked together. She was riveted by the sight of him, but had a little bit of a headache and was thirsty.
Really thirsty.
She carefully pulled her hand from his and made her way quietly across the bedroom into the bathroom, where she closed the door, letting just the illumination from the night-light break the darkness. She saw herself in the mirror, but avoided eye contact as she filled a glass with water and slowly drank it.
Lost in thought, she closed the lid on the toilet and sat on it.
She was no closer now to knowing what to do next than she had been six hours earlier. She noticed she had a little bit of razor burn on her neck, remembered the feel of him in her arms and shivered. Carter Shaw. Who’d have guessed?
She finished her water and then stood to lean in over the sink.
Her previous sexual experiences had been less than stellar. Did she look different now that she’d had an orgasm with a man rather than by her own hand? She searched her face for some sign, but there wasn’t one. She still looked like Lindsey. Like herself. But inside something had awakened. Something was changing, and she had no clue what she was going to do next.
She bit her lip. Staying here and waiting for Carter to wake up sounded like a bad idea. She knew that last night was only one night. It had been fun and frivolous, two things she’d never embraced in her entire life. But she’d liked it. No regrets.
You only live once, right? But now it was a new day and time for making plans.
No matter how incredible it had been, there was no denying that this thing between her and Carter wasn’t going to last. They had nothing in common aside from sports, and skiers and snowboarders were very different. Frankly, they didn’t really even know each other that well.
Something that she intended to ensure didn’t change. Because there was no need for it to. He was going back to his wandering ways, and though she’d cross paths with him once in a while on the committee for the charity event, she doubted she’d really see that much of him.
She felt a little pang and ignored it. Of course, the thought of going back to the adversarial strangers they’d been hurt after last night. After sharing something with him she’d experienced with no other man. But it wasn’t going to happen again. Carter was a bad boy and not at all the kind of guy she was interested in trying to date. Besides, her life was a big-ass mess right now.
Lindsey sighed. Her clothes were scattered in the other room, and she needed to collect them, get dressed and beat a hasty retreat before he woke. But first she grabbed one of the robes from behind the door...because in the cold light of day walking around naked didn’t feel right.
She opened the door cautiously and heard the low rumble of Carter’s voice.
“Thank you very much.”
He was awake.
He was sitting on the edge of the bed, his back to her, his brown hair tousled and sticking up a little on the left side. He tossed the cordless phone onto the bed and stood. “I ordered breakfast.”
“I actually should probably be going,” she said hastily. “I feel like I’ve—”
“Where do you have to go? I know you’re not working today.”
“You do?” Her eyes widened. “How do you know that?”
“Because you were drinking and partying last night. I know you aren’t the type of person to ski after a night like that,” he said. “Take it from me, your concentration won’t be that great.”
“Have you done that? Snowboarded in that condition?”
“I have. I don’t recommend it.” There was a long pause. “Let me grab a robe and we can have breakfast, okay?”
She didn’t want to get to know Carter any better. Sure, she knew how that sounded, but the truth was, the more she knew him the bigger the chance of her starting to like him was. She didn’t want to change the dynamic between them that had worked so well for so long. She had figured out a way to manage him.
“I’m not sure.”
“Really? Now you’re running scared?” Crossing his arms over his bare chest, he flashed a taunting smile her way. “After all that we did to each other last night, this morning you want to retreat?”
She gave him the hardest stare she could muster. Given her headache she suspected it wasn’t as steely as she’d like. “I’m not a child to be swayed by a petty dare.”
“It wasn’t petty, gorgeous. It was a flat-out challenge. Prove you’re not a coward and stay.”
She rolled her eyes. This was the guy she had no chance of ever falling for... The one who needled her and tried to make her— “Fine. I’ll stay for breakfast.”
He nodded. “I’ll be right back.”
She walked over to the table set up in a corner of the suite with chairs that faced the plate-glass windows that provided a perfect panoramic view of the Wasatch Range. The mountains she knew like the palm of her hand. She’d skied all the different runs down that mountain. It was a constant to her. In fact, she’d trained there for so long it was like her home.
But it wasn’t anymore. And she knew that it wasn’t Carter she was angry with this morning. It wasn’t the mountain, either, although that big majestic thing did play a part in it. She was angry with herself. For falling and for failing. She’d never realized how much she’d let herself down. Hadn’t wanted to admit that to herself. As a matter of fact, she hadn’t been able to let those emotions out until this morning.
Coffee and breakfast weren’t going to sweeten her mood now. That she understood, so she got dressed as quickly as she could, gathered her clutch and her tiara and walked out the door before Carter came out of the bathroom.
She needed time and distance. Not the distraction that he provided.
5 (#u5df39c43-8816-5d30-ac4b-6dac9cd1209c)
IT DIDN’T TAKE a Stephen Hawking–level genius to figure out that Lindsey wanted to be left alone. But Carter hadn’t achieved all he had in the world of snowboarding, or in life, by not going after what he wanted. And after last night, it was pretty damned clear to him that he still wanted more from her.
He took a shower, got dressed, ate the breakfast he’d ordered and then went out to find her. She worked at the lodge, and he suspected she must live pretty close to it. They’d both been serious athletes for the majority of their lives—if Lindsey was anything like him, she’d want to be close enough to the mountains to spend all her free time on the slopes.
He texted Will Spalding, the other groomsman from the wedding, whose girlfriend, Penny, was friends with Lindsey, asking if he knew how to get in touch with Lindsey.
He put his head on the steering wheel, feeling like a complete and utter fool.
This was nuts.
Will texted back that he’d ask Penny. A few seconds later he texted a phone number and the word why.
Yeah, Shaw, why do you need her number? he asked himself.
He texted that he wanted to talk to Lindsey about the event they were working on at the lodge and wished Will and Penny safe travels as they headed home later in the day.
He was still sitting in his rented SUV, trying to figure out which of the many slopes she’d been taking a run on this morning, when he caught a glimpse of her walking from her car to the lodge. She was wearing a pair of dark pink ski bibs and a cream-colored puffy jacket. Her Nordic blond hair had been pulled back into a ponytail, her hair held back by a ski band around her head.
She looked for all the world as she always had. As if nothing had changed.
He rubbed the back of his neck, thinking that maybe for her nothing had.
It hadn’t occurred to him until that moment that prim-and-proper Lindsey Collins, darling of the Alpine ski community, might have used him to get her rocks off on New Year’s Eve. It wasn’t the first time he’d been a woman’s illicit thrill, but on every other occasion he’d known what he was getting into. And he’d been prepared for it.
He’d thought Lindsey was different. He shut off his SUV, got out and followed her across the parking lot and up to the ski lodge and the après ski café. She sat at one of the tables nestled near the big fireplace and facing the slopes. The expression on her face wasn’t peaceful or serene.
She looked angry and lost.
Why was Lindsey upset?
Maybe he’d screwed things up when he’d taken her to his bed last night. Another sin to add to his list where this woman was concerned. He walked over to the bar, ordered two hot chocolates and then went to her table.
He set one down in front of her and took the seat next to her so he, too, could look up at the mountain.
“Carter.”
“Lindsey.”
She pulled the mug closer to her and wrapped her fingers around it, staring down into the whipped cream on the top like a fortune-teller searching for answers.
“What’s this for?”
“I’m not sure.” He raked a hand through his hair and sighed. “I think I might need to apologize.”
“For what? I know I should for walking out. But my head’s not in the right place this morning. I might do or say something stupid, so I figured I better clear out until...”
He got it. This he understood. He’d spent most of his life clearing out and searching for answers that he still hadn’t found.
“No need. I get that. Let’s start over,” he said.
“How? Do we pretend we never met at seventeen? Or do we act like last night never happened?”
“None of that. Let’s just start the morning over.” He reached over and clasped her hand in his. “I’m dying to get up on the slopes. You want to go with me?”
“I... Really? I thought you’d want to take it easy.”
“I didn’t anger all the resort owners here by taking them on and demanding they let snowboarders on the slopes just to be a douchebag. I did it because when I look at that mountain I see something I wanted to conquer. Besides, it was elitist to try to keep us out.”
“I never saw it that way,” she admitted, staring down at their entwined fingers. “But then, Alpine skiing is accepted everywhere.”
“So want to take on the slopes? We can race for real this time,” he said. “Not against the clock but against each other.”
She slowly withdrew her hand and took a sip of cocoa. “I can’t.”
He leaned back in his chair and glanced at her. She wasn’t watching him but was staring at the mountains again. “I’ll go easy on you.”
“It doesn’t matter. I can’t go down the mountain.”
“Why not?”
She shook her head. “You were my bit of fun last night, Carter. We’re not friends and I—”
“I don’t see that you have any friends here right now. Not trying to be mean, but it’s obvious—even to this bit of fun—that you need someone.” He clenched his jaw, trying to keep his temper in check. “I’d like to think over the years I’ve at least showed you I’m not a total loser.”
“I never think of you that way,” she said, turning to face him.
He saw something in her expression that he’d never glimpsed there before. It was something more than fear, and if he had to define it, he’d say it looked a lot like disappointment.
“I’m scared, Carter. I can’t go down that damned mountain, because every time I’ve taken the ski lift up there I freeze. I’m fine showing kids what to do in their lessons, but I can’t go down a big slope.”
His anger instantly cooled. That wasn’t what he’d been expecting. Lindsey was afraid? It didn’t jive with the bold, fearless woman he’d always known. She’d been throwing herself down the toughest, fastest runs since she’d been ten, or something. She’d gone over sixty miles per hour routinely, and now she was afraid?
“Okay, fair enough,” he said. “But we’re going to get you over your fear.”
She shook her head and took another slip of her hot chocolate. “I don’t think so. You’re sweet to suggest it, but let’s face it, the only thing we’ve ever had between us is an adversarial—”
“We have more now. We spent the night in each other’s arms.”
“That was sex,” she reminded him. “You always act like sex is just a physical thing. Nothing emotional there.”
“Was it for you?” he asked in a low, deceptively calm voice.
“Wasn’t it for you?” she countered.
She gave nothing away. Why was he surprised? This was Lindsey Collins, and she never let him have an inch.
* * *
LINDSEY DIDN’T WANT to talk about her fears with Carter. In fact, the only thing she wanted was a distraction. God knew he provided her with that.
“I’m sorry I feel like I’m not myself this morning. That’s why I left. I can’t explain it very well, not even to myself.”
“What can’t you explain?” he asked, pinning her with his penetrating blue-gray gaze.
“Last night, until the moment you arrived at my table, I was looking at my future and trying to figure out what my next move would be.” She sighed. “Last year at this time I was gearing up for a gold medal and setting my future, you know?”
“I do know. But things changed.”
“They did, and I ended up here in the bosom of some good friends and in the valley where I first learned to ski and started my world-champion path. I thought this was the place to press the reset button, but it didn’t work out that way. I couldn’t handle the slopes... I mean, not even the kiddie ones at first. Even now they still scare me.”
She tried to stop talking, but the words were just flowing out of her as though they wouldn’t be stopped. She’d needed to share this with someone, and Carter, as unlikely as it seemed, was the one person she was finally able to do it with.
“So the reset didn’t work,” he said, tracing the rim of his mug with his finger.
An image of him doing that exact same thing to her nipple popped into her head and made her squirm in her chair. Dammit. She never thought of sex this way. But Carter had changed her.
“No, it didn’t. I have seen a therapist and he suggested it was because reset means I can go back to where I was and that maybe somewhere in my brain is the thought that I don’t want to go back there.”
He nodded. “My therapist has often said that, for me, I have to keep moving forward. Once I master a skill, I need to find a new one.”
“That’s interesting... Does he have a theory why?” Maybe there was a clue in Carter’s problems that could lead her to a solution of her own.
“He does, but it’s very personal.” There was a glimpse of the real man. The one he kept hidden behind a curtain of sexy charm and outrageous dares.
“Sorry,” she said quietly. “Didn’t mean to pry.”
“I brought it up. Just throwing it out as an option.” Resting an elbow on the table, he turned to face her. “I want to help you get back on the slopes. It will be a way for me to make up for any part of your crash.”
“I told you that wasn’t your fault.”
“I know, but I need to do this. Plus, and if you repeat this to anyone I’ll deny it, but when you ski it’s like magic. I love watching you on the slopes, and I’d hate to never see you ski again.”
“Why would you deny that?” she asked, touched more than she wanted to be.
“Because I’m a bad-boy snowboarder and I’ve got a reputation to preserve,” he said with a wink.
“Well, far be it from me to ruin that for you,” she quipped. But deep down inside the freedom she’d felt last night was starting to fade. It made her wistful and wonder how she was going to achieve what had seemed so possible last night. How could she change her life?
“You won’t,” he said slyly. “So let’s see... How’s the knee? Have you taken any runs?”
Lindsey shook her head. She thought of how she sometimes brought her skis here and sat as though she’d just taken a run, even though she clearly hadn’t.
Who the heck was she trying to fool?
“My knee is fine. No runs. I mean, I’m teaching the classes, so I am on the bunny slopes with my kids, but that’s not really skiing.”
“Not for you,” he said.
“No, not for me. But why do you care? I mean, really. Not that BS about feeling guilty about my crash—the real story.”
He leaned in close and shrugged. “Maybe I sense that’s the only way you’ll let me see you again.”
He was right, but she wasn’t about to admit it to him. “We’re on a committee together, Carter. We will have to see each other again.”
He took a sip of his hot chocolate. “I expected better—more from you than this.”
She held the same high expectation for herself. “I’m sorry. I think the combo of too much to drink, a very sexy encounter and confusion left over from last night are making this morning difficult.”
“You think too much,” he said softly. “I’ve had more mornings-after than you. Take it from me, you have to just shake it off.”
She didn’t want to shake it off. A part of her wanted to be the woman she’d been last night. That bold, self-assured, confident woman she’d been with Carter, the woman who’d believed in herself. Surely that hadn’t just been the champagne talking. The seeds of that woman had to be inside her.
She just had to figure out how to sow them.
Carter was offering her something by saying he wanted to see her ski again. He’d always been that devilish rogue who could needle her into doing things she’d otherwise pass on.
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Katherine Garbera
Тип: электронная книга
Жанр: Современные любовные романы
Язык: на английском языке
Издательство: HarperCollins
Дата публикации: 16.04.2024
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О книге: Countdown to a kiss…At the stroke of midnight, Lindsey Collins will finally kiss Carter Shaw. A former championship skier, Lindsey had a life of all training and no play until a devastating injury sidelined her. Now she’s ready to put her good-girl ways behind her and kick off the New Year with a little fun…and the sexy snowboarder is the perfect distraction!Now that Carter has Lindsey in his arms for one mind-blowing night, he’s not giving up. He′ll do whatever it takes to break through her Ice Queen exterior and show her he’s more than just a fun time. But how can she believe in him when she can’t even believe in herself enough to return to skiing–and all that she’s worked for?