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His Holiday Heart
Jillian Hart
What can make a grumpy "there-is-no-Santa-Claus" kind of man smile? The sight of quirky Lucy Chapin. Something about the woman creates warm and fuzzy feelings within confirmed bachelor Spence McKaslin.So he'll just have to ignore her. Hard to do, since they're working together on a Christmas program for hospitalized children. The time with lovely Lucy soon has Spence thinking twice about spending his life alone. Because his heart is open to giving and receiving.



“You have always been safe from me, Spence. You know that, don’t you?” She tossed the ice cream scoop and it landed with a plop in the de-icer bag. “I’m not on the hunt for a husband.”
“You don’t automatically want a sparkling diamond ring?”
“I’m the exception to that rule.” She watched his shoulders visibly relax. Poor Spence. He believed that. He must have a poor opinion of women and marriage. “When I decide to hunt for a husband, I’ll set my sights on a quality man.”
“Are you suggesting I’m not?” He was grinning wide enough to show that hint of a dimple again.
She forgot to feel uncomfortable around him when he smiled like that. “I’m just saying that I’m not looking right now. But as far as quality goes, you’re a good man, Spence. You shouldn’t work so hard to hide it.”

JILLIAN HART
Jillian Hart grew up on her family’s homestead, where she raised cattle, rode horses and scribbled stories in her spare time. After earning her English degree from Whitman College, she worked in travel and advertising before selling her first novel. When Jillian isn’t working on her next story, she can be found puttering in her rose garden, curled up with a good book and spending quiet evenings at home with her family.

His Holiday Heart
Jillian Hart


www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, long-suffering, bearing with one another, and forgiving one another…but above all these things put on love.
—Colossians 3:12-14

Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Epilogue

Chapter One
“I know your secret, mister.”
Spence McKaslin jerked his attention away from the spreadsheets and frowned at his sister, Danielle. She was leaning against the doorjamb to his office with her arms crossed in front of her. Somehow she managed to look kindly and meddling all at once. He frowned. “What secret do you think you know? I don’t have any secrets. I don’t have time for any.”
“Sure. I know you’re a busy man.” She laughed. A loving soul, she always had a smile for everyone these days, especially since her hardship at home was over. Her wedding ring sparkled as she shook her head at him with utmost disapproval. Mischief flashed in her dark eyes, and she gave an eye roll. “You can’t fool me, big brother. I’m on to you.”
“Wow, I’m really worried.” What on earth was she talking about? he wondered. What did she think she knew? It had to be really good, considering the amusement on her face. He didn’t approve of amusement.
Amusement had never helped him. He shoved his chair back and moved a little. His muscles were stiff from sitting in the same position for the past hour or so.
Snow was falling harder outside his office’s corner window, obscuring the buildings across the parking lot and disguising the pavement so it looked like a winter wonderland. He scowled. He didn’t like wonderlands either. “Talk to me about something real. Something that matters. How’s the traffic?”
She flashed him that glimmer of humor. “It’s November, you know that, right? I heard that it’s snowing. This morning it was sunny, and now there’s a surprise winter storm advisory out there. The roads are a mess.”
It was his turn for an eye roll. This is what he got for working with family. Family you couldn’t choose, and they were impossible to order around. Harder to fire. He tried to hide his great affection for Danielle behind a bigger scowl. He had a reputation to protect. “I was asking about the store.”
“I know.” That stubborn cheerfulness didn’t dim one iota. “Spence, you would be an incredibly handsome man if you would just put a smile on your face.”
“Now you’re sounding like Dorrie.” Dorrie was his stepmom and Danielle’s mom. “I’m not falling for that handsome line. I don’t mind looking homely and disagreeable.”
“Sure, you don’t, but the rest of us have to look at you, brother dear.” She gave him a wink, still lighthearted and apparently distracted from the topic of his secret.
Whew. He had only one secret and no one—repeat no one—knew about that. There were days when that secret was so secret that he almost couldn’t remember it himself.
“We haven’t had a customer for the last two hours.” Danielle gave him the look—the mom look she used on her kids. “I’ve counted down the tills, I’m turning over the sign and I’m going home.”
Good thing he was immune to the mom look. “This is my store. We stay open until closing time.”
“I’m driving home while I can still navigate the roads. I sent Kelly home, too.”
“What?” That brought him to his feet. This was his store and Katherine, whom Danielle had replaced as his assistant manager, understood that. He and Dani were still figuring out how to work together. She was still new, but that didn’t mean she could go usurping his authority. “Customers depend on us to be open.”
“Customers are not going to be fighting through the snow to find us on Thanksgiving Eve.” That smile faltered, and it was replaced by something worse—sympathy, maybe even pity. “I know you don’t want to go home. I understand what it’s like to unlock the door and step into an empty house. Remember when Jonas was in the Seattle clinic?”
“I remember.” Remembering made his chest tangle up with a whole lot of feelings he had no interest in feeling. Jonas, his brother-in-law and Dani’s husband, had been shot on a routine traffic stop a year and a half ago, and no one had thought he would recover from his traumatic brain injury. But he was coming along just fine. Grateful, Spence swallowed hard, managing to beat down every emotion. “Go home to your husband and kids. They’re waiting for you. I’ll close up here.”
“I don’t want you staying late.” Her look turned to one of concern. “You’re welcome to drop by for dinner. Jonas is cooking, and he’s gotten pretty good. He’s been watching cooking shows on television. I think he’s doing homemade pizza tonight. It should be tasty.”
Sure, he knew what she was doing, offering him a balm for his loneliness. He couldn’t count the number of times he’d taken her up on it, and he liked the idea of having somewhere to be. He and Jonas could catch a sports show. There were the munchkins—his little niece and nephew—to play with. One thing he liked was Dani’s kids.
But what if he had failed to distract her? What if she really had figured out his secret? Then there was no way he was going to put himself in close proximity to her so she could bring that secret out in the open. He hated to, but he forced out the words. “No, thanks. Maybe another night.”
“Sure. Okay.” Danielle took a step back, and that mischief returned to her eyes. She disappeared into her office for a few minutes, and the next time he saw her she was wearing a black wool coat and had her purse in hand.
“Drive safe,” he called out, going back to his worrying spreadsheets.
“I will. Thanks.” Danielle stopped at his door. “I should tell you that you’re not alone in the store. Lucy came—”
“Lucy?” he interrupted. The spreadsheet numbers rolled right out of his head. His mind went blank. His lungs forgot to suck in air. “Lucy Chapin is here?”
“You don’t have to say that like she’s contagious with the bird flu. She’s signing a shipment of her latest book because I asked her to,” Danielle explained as if that was no big deal.
It was a big deal. His pulse began to thud in his ears. His palms went damp—a sure sign of panic. “Lucy is here right now?”
“She’s in the break room. Are you all right, Spence? You’ve gone beet-red.”
“Just my blood pressure.” Or worse. And in that moment his worst suspicions about Danielle had come true. Not only did she know how he felt about Lucy Chapin but she was leaving him alone with her on purpose. There was no other explanation. “How did you know?”
“Careful observation.” Danielle didn’t even look apologetic as she turned on her heels. “I’m thinking she’ll be done in a few minutes. The least you can do is thank her, and see if she needs anything else.”
“You do it.”
“Sorry. I’ve got to get home. Talking to her would do you good, Spence.” She called over her shoulder and sauntered around the front counter. “Call me, and tell me how it goes.”
He couldn’t see anything other than red. Bright crimson splashed across his field of vision. He put his hands to his face. This was too much. How had she guessed? Danielle was good; he had to give her that. Somehow she had figured out he had a tiny, miniscule, barely nothing at all crush on Lucy Chapin.
Not that you could really even call it a crush. More like a dysfunction of his eyes, which made them always turn toward her whenever they were in the same room. That was all. Nothing more. Nothing serious.
He didn’t believe in love. Not even a little bit. So he got up and closed the door. With any luck, Lucy would finish her signing and leave all on her own without a single word to him. Besides, it wasn’t as if she liked him either. She’d always done her best to steer clear of him.
With any luck, she would avoid him, and his eyes wouldn’t malfunction and glue to her pretty face and gentle smile. Comforted, he bowed his head over his profit ratios and tried to concentrate.
The phone rang. He snatched it up. “Corner Christian Books. How can I help you?”
“Spence?”
Wait. He knew that soft voice, as melodic as lark song. Every defensive shield he had went up around his heart. “Lucy?”
“I’m calling from the break room. Danielle said you were busy in your office, and I didn’t—”
His ears stopped taking incoming information. There was just a haze of static as he digested what she’d said so far. She was calling him from the break room? He shook his head. That was something his younger sister Ava would do—the flaky sister. He adored Ava, but he didn’t trust her with a set of keys to the store. “You’re calling me when you’re what, ten yards away?”
“Sure.” She seemed unfazed by that or at least unable to see that her behavior was, well, quirky. “I didn’t want to interrupt you.”
“By knocking instead of calling?”
She was silent a moment, but when she spoke, her voice was still stubbornly meadowlarkish. “This is just a quick call. I’ve hauled the books back to the storeroom in the boxes, just like they came. I’ll go out the back, and I’ll be out of your way, but I wanted to make sure the alarm wasn’t on. I don’t have the best luck with alarms.”
“No, I haven’t set it yet.”
“But Danielle locked up and turned off the store lights, and so I just wanted to make sure—” She must have felt she had to explain.
He was probably sounding terse again. Well, better that than vulnerable, right? He was grateful for the hard-won shields he’d learned to put up around his heart—around everything. “Fine. I understand. You’re free to go.”
“Great. Thanks.” Surely he’d insulted her, but it didn’t show in her voice. “Have a good evening. Bye.”
The line went dead, but he couldn’t seem to move. Even her voice had a strange effect on him. Her kind alto seemed to circle around in his head, and he wished for one second that he was a different kind of man—one who believed in true love and happy endings and all that make-believe stuff. Because if he could, then at least he wouldn’t be alone. Instead of wishing he’d never see Lucy Chapin again; he would be hoping he could see her again. Talk to her. Take her out to dinner. But he wasn’t that kind of a man.
He was the type of man who went back to his work. To his responsibilities. The store was his parents’. Some thought that meant an easy ride, since he’d walked into this job and his parents weren’t about to find fault with him. But working for his folks meant something different to him. Commitment. Responsibility. Going beyond and doing all he possibly could. It was the least he could do for Dad and Dorrie. He disappointed a lot of people every day, but one thing he would never do was disappoint them.
The phone rang again. Good thing he’d stayed behind. He grabbed the receiver. “Corner Christian Books. How can I help you?”
“Spence?” said a familiar gentle voice. “It’s me again. Lucy.”
Lucy. He grimaced, fighting to keep his mind from going numb. His senses from going to static. To keep the steel around his heart.
“I can see you’re not thrilled I bothered you again,” she went on, apologetically but obviously not sorry enough to hang up and put him out of his misery. “Believe me, I called everyone else I know. The trouble is I don’t know all that many people, at least anyone I can call during a blizzard to come get me.”
“To come get you?” He swallowed hard, grateful his guards were still up. Now he just had to keep them there. “That sounds like car trouble. Won’t it start? I’ll call the auto club. I’ll have someone here immediately.”
“Oh, if only that was the problem. Then it would be easily solved.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“The snowplow went by and buried my car. I can’t get it out. I don’t suppose you have a shovel I can borrow.”
“A shovel?” He put a hand to his forehead and started rubbing as if he had a sudden, mammoth headache. “No. Sorry.”
“Okay. Just thought I’d ask.” She could see him across the parking lot. His forehead was still in his hand. There was no missing that grimace of his. She turned away, not wanting to see it. Not wanting to watch him when he thought he was alone. She tried to tell herself it didn’t matter. Spence McKaslin was more like the abominable snowman whenever he was around her, which is why she stayed away from him whenever possible. She knew him only in passing; she hardly knew him at all. But she did know that he was very standoffish. She should give him a break and figure out someone to call—like a cab company.
“Sorry to bother you. Goodbye.” She disconnected and pocketed her cell phone. The wind gusted, and she was shivering in her new goose down coat, which was supposed to keep her warm in minus twenty degrees. She was just a little cold. She clenched her jaw to keep her teeth from clacking together.
Her phone rang. She checked the screen. It was the bookstore. She unclenched her jaw enough to speak. “Spence?”
“Where are you?”
He sure didn’t sound happy. She glanced across the parking lot, and the light in his office was out. Her teeth were chattering again. “I’m on the n-north side of the complex. I p-parked along the street.”
“Why did you do that?”
Take a deep breath, Lucy. It wasn’t his fault that he was the one man who could make her feel, well, less than adequate. “Because I had errands in a few other stores, and I didn’t want to waste gas, so I walked.”
“Why?”
“You’ve heard about the greenhouse effect? How about that walking increases cardiovascular health?”
Total silence.
Great. She took another breath and really wanted the phone call to end. No one—no one—made her more uncomfortable than Spence McKaslin. “Anyway, thanks. Bye.”
“Wait.” He barked out the word like an order.
That annoyed her, too. She didn’t want to be annoyed, but it was almost a reflex when it came to Spence. He was a hard man to like.
“I’m not going to shovel you out with a wind chill of minus twenty and falling, but I will give you a ride home.”
Oh, joy. Beware of getting what you pray for. She’d wanted help, but she hadn’t wanted it in the form of Spence McKaslin. A grizzly bear would be a friendlier commuting buddy. If there was any simpler solution, she would take it hands down. But she’d been outside only a few minutes, and not a single soul had driven by. Everyone was gone from the other stores and shops in the shopping complex and along the opposite street, so she said the fateful words, “That would be great. Thank you.”
Accepting his offer wasn’t the most comfortable idea she’d had in awhile, but it beat standing out in an approaching blizzard.
“I’ll be right there.” He sounded so grim, he could have been accepting an appointment for five consecutive root canals. The line clicked off abruptly.
Her teeth were clacking together again, so she clenched her jaw. The wind cut through her layers of clothing, past her skin and went right into the hollow of her bones. Yikes, she was cold. But headlights flared to life at the back of the row of stores and swept around snowdrifts and parking curbs in her direction.
She was too cold to brace herself, as she always had to whenever she was in the vicinity of Mr. McKaslin. She had a short and unpleasant history with him—the unpleasant outweighed the short. When she’d moved from Portland to Bozeman, she joined a reader’s group to get to know some people and because she loved reading. She had made many friends, Katherine McKaslin Munroe, who’d been the assistant manager but who was now on leave, her sisters Danielle, Ava, Aubrey, Lauren and Rebecca. She had heard about the Gray Stone Church from Katherine, joined and made a new circle of friends. But every time she stepped foot inside the bookstore or spotted him in church, Spence scowled at her, turned his back and acted as if she did not exist.
The ride home ought to be interesting. She wondered if he would even say two words to her. She lived a long way from town. Did she really want to be in Spence’s presence the entire way?
His huge green truck skidded to a halt beside her. The door swung open. The dome light shone down on the big man, looking bigger in his thick winter coat, and seemed to emphasize his frown. He did not seem happy to see her.
He wasn’t going to be happy when he found out where she lived. Maybe having him drive out all that way was too much. She could always stay in a downtown hotel. She stepped up into the truck not too clumsily, considering how she was nearly frozen solid. She collapsed on the seat and pulled the door shut, sprinkling large chunks of snow all over the pristine interior. “Sorry,” she said.
He stared at her without acknowledging her apology. He would be totally handsome if he stopped scowling. He had wide set dark-blue eyes that would put a movie star to shame, high granite cheekbones and a straight blade of a nose. A mouth that might be bracketed by dimples, if he ever actually smiled. He had one of those strong square jaws that spoke of integrity and manliness.
“Where can I take you?” he asked in a baritone devoid of warmth or friendliness.
She felt colder in his truck with the heat blasting almost lukewarm than she’d felt outside in the minus degree windchill. Why did she want things to be different between her and Spence? She never could explain her feelings, why she felt sad whenever he behaved this way toward her. He wasn’t the kind of man she even liked.
But he was a decent man. He was helping her when she really needed help. “Let’s head toward the university.”
“Sure.” He put the truck in gear. “I know you’re cold, but put on your seat belt.”
That almost didn’t come out sounding like an order. Wow, this was going so much better than she expected. If only she wasn’t board-stiff in the seat, she would be able to get the seat belt around the fluff of her inches thick coat.
Take a deep breath, Lucy, she instructed herself. Maybe the problem with Spence McKaslin was that he had always been a total stranger. So what if he had taken care to keep things this way. Maybe this was a God-given opportunity. Maybe her car was snowplowed under several feet of snow for a higher purpose.
She dropped her bag on the floor, latched the buckle and attempted to relax against the seat. The windows were fogged up and before Spence would drive an inch, he switched the heater to defrost and pulled a folded towel from beneath the seat to wipe the glass.
The way Spence leered at her out of the corner of his eye made her feel like a slacker.
“If I reach under my seat, will I find a nifty towel, too?” She asked, wanting to help out.
“No.”
That made her wonder what he kept under the passenger seat. Something sensible, she figured, because this was Spence McKaslin—the man who she’d seen crack a smile once, but it had been short-lived and she had been way across the room from him. Definitely something practical, she decided. Probably an emergency tool kit or a first aid kit. It was unlike the mess of books she had beneath hers, which had slipped beneath the seat one by one after she’d left each of them on the floor.
“Here. If you don’t mind.” He folded the towel over to a dry side and handed it to her.
Talk about scintillating conversation. For once couldn’t a handsome man—even a scowling, bad-tempered handsome man—look at her and say, “You look lovely, Lucy, even with a frozen nose and your eyelashes iced together”?
She took the towel from him. “Sure, I’d be happy to.”
He grunted, nodded once and put the truck in gear. The vehicle rolled forward, and he expertly managed a huge slick of solid ice and turned onto the main road.
He remained silent as she wiped at the foggy glass. He didn’t say, “This is great. We’ve never really had the chance to get to know one another, so let’s do that now. How about a romantic dinner? Maybe some hot tea afterward in front of a roaring fireplace, and we can talk for hours.”
No, he didn’t say anything like that. He stared straight ahead as if he were pretending she wasn’t seated right beside him. He didn’t even sneak a look at her. She knew, because she was watching him. It was as if she didn’t exist to him at all.
Bummer. She wished she could explain what it was about Spence that made her want to like him. It was just her romantic heart, she thought as she folded the towel a final time. The window was clear so she set the towel next to her bag instead of on the leather upholstery. She was a writer for a reason, mostly because this was her life—dull, staid and quiet. If she didn’t have an imagination to spice it up, she’d be lethally bored.
But not even her imagination was strong enough to figure out how to turn Spence’s silence into polite conversation.
So she contented herself with watching the windshield wipers swipe from side to side and the huge snowflakes evading them.

Chapter Two
Spence squinted through the snow on the window and couldn’t believe his eyes. “This can’t be right. You don’t live in a hotel, do you?”
“No, but I live way out on Blackhawk Hill, and that’s too far to ask you to drive.”
“You should have asked me,” he said. The shields were up around his heart, so he was certain he was immune to her incredible loveliness. Even with her hair wet from the snow and straggling against the sides of her face, she was breathtaking. Not that he wanted her to know that’s what he thought. “I’m not leaving you here. I said I’d take you home, and I meant it.”
“Did you hear the road report? Half the county roads are closed down. I should have left sooner, but I promised Danielle I would get those signed before your Thanksgiving week sale, and it’s been one of those days. It’s my fault, so you shouldn’t be punished for offering to take me home.”
That was a woman’s logic for you. Spence scowled harder. He respected women and he liked them, but as the older brother of six sisters, he’d learned girls were a puzzle—and not logical in the slightest. “I’m taking you home where I know you’re safe.”
“Really? And here I thought you would be in a hurry to get rid of me.” She said it with a smile, with understanding, as if she thought she knew why he always kept his distance.
She knew nothing. Nothing at all. All it took was one glance into her unguarded green eyes and his Adam’s apple stuck in his throat and wouldn’t budge. Emeralds would be considered dull and worthless when compared to that deep, stunning green. He couldn’t speak. He couldn’t swallow. He was lucky to breathe, which meant he was staring at her like a fool as she gave a little shoulder shrug.
“Spence, I’m not going to let you drive on unplowed roads the state patrol is about ready to close down anyway. I’ll be fine here. Look, there’s a vacancy sign. It’s a nice place.”
He tore his gaze from hers and stared at the stately hotel sign. Any second now the effects of Lucy would wear off and he would be able to speak again like a normal man. “What if the power goes off?”
“They probably have a generator.”
“What about dinner? Have you had dinner?”
“Uh, no. There’s a restaurant next door, oh, that’s closed. No surprise there. Don’t worry. I’m sure there’s room service in a place like this.” Kindly, she laid her gloved fingertips on his forearm. “Thanks for your concern, but I’ll be fine. You can leave with a clear conscience. Really.”
“Maybe I don’t want a clear conscience.” Even through the layers of down of his sleeve, he could feel the weight of her fingertips, the impact of her touch. It was like a mortar blast against the shields of his heart.
Wasn’t that just his luck? She was the only woman who had ever made a dent in his defenses. A smart man would trust a grown woman to take care of herself, drop her off and drive away. But he’d never been a smart man. Doing the right thing wasn’t always smart. He didn’t like the idea of Lucy being alone in a hotel room when a blizzard hit the city. Sometimes electricity and services were running by the next day. Sometimes it took much longer. She didn’t even have a change of clothes with her.
“Wait.” He reached to turn on the radio and scanned for a road report. He found one of the local stations and listened. They were in the middle of listing all the county road closures. He thought of his brother-in-law, Jack, who would probably be called out on patrol tonight. The storm had come in fast, to everyone’s surprise.
He could feel Lucy’s gaze on him. His palms broke out in a sweat. There was that panic again, settling in because she was too close. Only the console separated them, but it wasn’t only physical distance. He’d stopped barking at her and started caring, and he wasn’t even sure when he’d allowed that to happen.
Maybe it was inevitable. He’d been watching Lucy from afar for a long, long time.
“I have three options,” he told her, down to business and determined to stay there. That way he didn’t have to notice how honest her eyes were. “One, we call my brother-in-law with the state patrol.”
“Katherine’s husband, Jack?”
“Yep. If he’s not out on an emergency, he can probably take you home.”
“I’d hate to trouble him. Someone might need him more than I do.”
Sincerity. It made her seem flawless and even more beautiful. He swallowed hard, wiped his palms on his knees and stared at the hotel’s sign again. “Option two: we take you over to stay with Rebecca. She’s in a two-bedroom condo with a spare guest room. She’s not far from here, and I’m sure she’ll be glad to have you.”
“Then I’m inconveniencing her.”
“Lucy, you’ll be inconveniencing me worse if you stay here. Hotels are fine, but tomorrow is Thanksgiving. What about your family? Here’s your third option: I take you home. I’ve got four-wheel drive, and I’m not scared of a little snow.”
“So I see. Actually, I’m surprised snow doesn’t melt at your command.”
“Actually, me too.”
“Spence, I can’t believe this. You’re actually almost smiling.”
“I’ve been known to smile.”
“Not that I’ve ever seen. Sure, in theory of course you are capable of smiling, but not even I could imagine it.” Were they having a moment together, Lucy wondered. Were they really getting along? “I’m guessing that you even have dimples.”
“Shh, don’t go around saying things like that. A man like me can’t have dimples. That will ruin my reputation.”
“Oh, so that’s the secret to Spence McKaslin. The growling personality is all for the sake of your reputation.” Lucy rolled her eyes. Men. “Don’t worry. Your secret is safe with me.”
“Thanks. I appreciate that. Word like that gets out and I’ll lose all respect.”
“I don’t think you have to worry about that.” Lucy felt a little flip-flop of her heart, and that surprised her. Okay, maybe it was because she’d never seen this side of Spence before, but what she did know about him certainly made him a man to admire. He was devout and devoted to his family. He was active in his church and did extensive volunteer work. That meant he couldn’t be a bad guy, right?
He hauled his cell phone from his coat pocket and punched a number. “I’ll check with Rebecca first. Do you have family here in town that can pick you up tomorrow?”
Now was the moment of truth. “I don’t have family in town.”
“Oh, they’re flying in?”
It was an assumption she should correct, but when she opened her mouth, she hesitated. Saying the words “No I’ll be alone for the holiday” was hard. She had to gather up her gumption and just as she was opening her mouth to correct his misimpression, Rebecca must have answered her phone, because Spence started talking. Lucy could personally come up with a thousand excuses why Rebecca—she knew her from church and the bookstore, of course—wouldn’t want to have her privacy invaded, but Spence snapped off the phone.
“It’s settled.” He didn’t look at her as he put the truck in gear. “Rebecca is more than happy to have you. She got so excited I couldn’t get a word in edgewise. If you have no objections, I’ll take you there.”
She thought of how difficult and dangerous the county roads were and then of Spence fighting them back to town. She looked up at the hotel, very nice but so impersonal—so lonely. “My cat will miss me, but I always leave plenty of food out for her. If I don’t, she gets huffy.”
Spence frowned, staring intently at the hotel sign. “I’ll take that as a yes. Do you mind if I stop by the grocery store? I was going to grab a bite to eat on the way home, but most places are closed.”
“Sure, let’s stop. That way I can pick up a few things, too.” Shopping with Spence. How could that be fun? She tried to picture him doing something as ordinary as pushing a grocery cart—and she could as long as she imagined a frown on his face.
The traffic report droned on, filling the silence between them. Spence was absorbed in negotiating the slick streets. Snow fell harder with each passing minute so that by the time they climbed out of the truck three blocks away, she sank into snow up to her knees. And to think it had been sunny with blue skies only this morning.
She crunched in beside Spence, who stopped to make sure she didn’t fall on the shoveled walkway in front of the automatic doors. The rock salt was having a hard time keeping up with the gathering ice. Once inside, Spence separated a cart from the others with a snap of his wrist and, with a commanding walk, took off in the direction of the bakery.
“Due to bacterial formation, you should always buy from the meat department last,” he told her.
Yes, this was pretty much as she imagined it. She wasn’t surprised when he hauled a list out of his pocket and, with a glance, headed off for the bread aisle.
She, being much less serious, lingered by the boxes of donuts. They didn’t have the powdered sugar kind, so she chose a package of blueberry muffins with powdered sugar tops.
“Give them to me.” He held out his hand.
“Don’t tell me how bad these are for me,” she warned him with a smile as she clutched her muffins.
“They aren’t steel cut oatmeal, that’s for sure.” He took the package and set it in one corner of his cart, far away from his whole grain, extremely healthy kind of bread. “The next aisle over is coffee and tea.”
“Oh, and hot chocolate.” She led the way. The moment she turned the corner, she spotted Marin Baylor, youth pastor from the church, debating over two boxes of tea.
“Lucy.” She looked up with a welcoming smile. That smile slid from her face like snow off a tin roof when she gazed over Lucy’s shoulder. “Spence?”
Marin sounded a little shocked to see them in the same store together. It was the together part that was so shocking, apparently. “My car got plowed under. Spence is rescuing me.”
“That’s mighty Christian of him.” Marin nodded thoughtfully. “Spence, did you get my message about Project Santa? I’m sure I’m on your callback list, but since we’re face-to-face—”
“Yes, I meant to call you. The week got away from me.” Now that he was speaking with Marin, the tension eased from Spence’s jaw and broad shoulders.
He really is a handsome man, Lucy thought as she watched him reach into his other pocket and pull out a small notebook. He thumbed through it, pulled a pen out and made a note or two. It was church business, and she didn’t want to interrupt or listen in, so she let her mind wander.
When exactly had he started avoiding her? She studied the man who looked so good in his black winter coat, trousers and black boots. He was in good shape; he probably was one of those admirable individuals who worked out and ate wisely all the time.
But what was attractive to her about Spence wasn’t his physical appearance. It was how he stood soldier straight and full of honor. It was the respectful way he talked to women. It was the kindness he showed to small children. She’d seen him with his niece and nephew when they were in the store or at church. Why was a great man like him still not married? Aside from the distant and difficult personality.
“Well,” Marin said. “I’ve got to get going. They’re forecasting another six to eight inches before midnight. You two drive safe. See you on Sunday.”
Lucy had time to say goodbye and give Marin a wave before the pastor was off, hauling out her cell phone. Spence, judging by the scowl building on his face, had noticed, too. Lucy feared the ramifications. “Do you think she’ll tell Katherine?”
Spence shook his head. “This spells trouble for me, but I’m used to trouble. It’s hard not to be with so many sisters. You must have siblings, too.”
“One sister, but she and I are worlds apart.”
“Some days I think I’m on earth and my sisters are on Pluto, but I don’t think that’s what you mean.”
Who knew Spence McKaslin could quip? Lucy started down the aisle, wondering what other surprises might come her way. Spence always seemed so, well, grim. Maybe he was an interesting and potentially funny guy. “I’m the only Christian in my family. It annoys my mother to no end, who treats me as if I’ve been sucked into oblivion by a giant sea squid.”
“Is that a roundabout way of saying she does her best not to talk to you?”
“Yep. My dad pretty much follows her lead. He’s a pharmacist and somehow uses that as his reason why there can’t be a God. Anyway, I’m not exactly banned, but if I announce that I’m coming home, there’s this long silence and a polite, well, how nice. I’m sure we can make room for you.” And exactly why was she telling him this? She didn’t tell anyone this. Embarrassed when he didn’t say anything, she turned the corner and headed down the milk and eggs aisle. She grabbed a carton.
He came up beside her and took one, too. “What about Thanksgiving? They’re not flying in?”
“No.” Now he probably thought she was someone who allowed deception. Her chest bunched up, making it hard to breathe. “I don’t like to actually explain this to people.”
“You mean to someone you don’t especially like?”
“To someone I don’t especially know,” she said and wondered at the wince on his face—not a scowl. Spence might not be as grim and as emotionless as she’d always thought. “It’s painful, and so I just try not to have to talk about it. You have a wonderful family. Your sisters adore you. You have the perfect parents. You are very blessed, Spence.”
He shook his head. “Maybe you don’t know that Dorrie isn’t my real mother.”
“No.” She didn’t know the family well, only Katherine. “I guess I just assumed.”
“Nothing can hurt like family,” he said quietly.
For a nanosecond, she heard something else in his voice and then in his silence, but he broke away and headed toward the packaged shredded cheeses. She went to grab a box of butter quarters, and the span of distance was between them again—not just a physical one but one far more significant.

It was hard to see much of anything through the amazing downpour of thick, continuous, wind-driven snow, but the condominium complex looked new and snazzy. Shrouded trees and bushes lined plentiful sidewalks and walkways. Long stretches of white hinted at lush spacious lawns hidden beneath.
A front light flashed on, illuminating a snow-covered walkway and porch. Lucy unlatched her seat belt. This was it, where she and Spence parted company. At least the uncomfortable silence would be over, but that didn’t make her feel any happier.
“I’ll walk you in.” Spence pulled the e-brake and turned off the ignition. Without the engine noise, the howl of wind and the ping of snowflakes sounded loud in the silence. He cleared his throat, looking pained that she was still in his company. “I picked up a few things for Rebecca at the store.”
That was surprising. He said it casually, as if he did favors every day. Spence McKaslin was definitely a surprise. She grabbed her bag by the straps and heaved it off the floor. “Did you go shopping for anyone else?”
“Katherine needed a few things. I’ll drop her stuff by on my way home. I don’t live too far from her.”
She had never given much thought to where Spence lived—in a cave, a townhouse, a tidy home in a cul-de-sac? She couldn’t picture him anywhere. Spence McKaslin was more than a surprise, he was a genuine mystery and the opposite of what she expected. “If you live near Katherine, does that mean down the street? In the same subdivision?”
“Three streets down, five blocks over.”
A homeowner, then. She still couldn’t picture it. She was glad he hadn’t insisted on taking her all the way home. The fifteen miles out of town and then all the way back across town would have taxed her conversational skills. Spence was not an easy man to chat with. “Thanks for this. You could have left me to freeze beside my car.”
“Sure, but then I would have had to deal with all my sisters. They would have been very mad at me.” He almost smiled again.
Yep, there was a hint of dimples, just as she’d imagined. Their gazes met, and it was like a spark from a live wire against her soul. What she saw in that brief moment was Spence’s heart—good and noble and lonely.
Lonely was something she knew a lot about.
“There’s Rebecca.” Spence gave a nod in the direction of the condo and yanked open his door.
Bitter cold and bulleting snow filled the passenger compartment. Through the haze of snow coating the glass, she could see Spence’s hulking shadow cut around the front of the truck. She reached for the door handle, but then the door was already opening. Spence stood with his hand out, gloves on, to help her down.
“Careful, its slick.” That’s all he said and tersely, as if she were annoying him.
She remembered the glimpse she’d seen of him. The hint of a smile, the niceness. She didn’t take his gruff tone seriously as she placed her hand in his and launched off the truck’s high seat. She landed knee-deep in snow, nearly blown over by the gusting wind, but Spence steadied her. He was solid and reliable, refusing to let her fall.
A haze of the porch light winked like a lighthouse’s beacon on a far shore. Spence yanked his hand from hers and turned his back to gather the groceries from the backseat. He took hers, too, and walked alongside her so as to block the worst of the storm.
“Quick! Before you two freeze.” Rebecca held the door open more widely.
Since she was already about to become a snow woman in two more seconds, Lucy gladly tumbled through the doorway and into the warm condo. Spence was on her heels, groceries in the crook of his arm. The door slammed shut. The arctic blast of the wind died. The last of the snow tumbled to the entry rug, and Lucy breathed a sigh of relief. A hot current of air blew at her ankles. Blessed warmth.
“Lucy, this is going to be so much fun.” Rebecca took one of the grocery sacks from her brother. “I’ve got the fire going in the living room. The guest bed is made up with the electric blanket on high. I’ve got a pot of lemon tea steeping to warm you up. Spence, come this way and put that heavy sack on the kitchen counter.”
Spence glowered. “I’ve got to hit the road. More stops to make before I get home.”
Lucy struggled with her zipper, watching him through her lashes. The way he said it, no one would guess that he had groceries to deliver and family to check on. Or that he did so gladly. “Thanks again, Spence. You are my lifesaver.”
“Next time pay better attention to the weather reports.” He marched past her dripping snow on the carpet and disappeared into another room.
He said it as if she had majorly inconvenienced him. But she had this suspicion that wasn’t the truth at all. What was Spence’s truth? she wondered as she shucked off her coat and let Rebecca hook it over the back of a nearby chair. Spence was definitely a man of mystery.
He marched straight out of the shadows as if he were a part of it. He nodded to her once as he passed straight to the door. “Rebecca, let me know if you need anything else. I bought an extra flashlight and a pack of batteries, just in case.”
“Oh, I didn’t think about the lights going out.”
He nodded as if he wasn’t surprised by that comment and grabbed the door. The spill of overhead light shone on him just right—or maybe it was her imagination—but for one brief moment his harshness lifted, his gaze found hers and there was that vulnerable heart of his. It was simple to see his loving concern for his baby sister and his protective nature, and more.
Yes, she saw much more. Like a flash of concern for her, too. He was glad that she was safe from the hazards of the storm.
“Good night, Lucy,” he said quietly, not harshly at all. He opened the door, the storm claimed him and he was out of her sight.
But not out of her thoughts.

Chapter Three
Between the heat from the fireplace and the comfort of the electric throw she was wrapped up in, Lucy was blissful. Add to that the pair of comfy sweats and warm fuzzy socks Rebecca had lent her, and she never wanted to move.
“That was Katherine on the phone.” Rebecca swept into the living room with a tray of drinks and two plates of goodies from the grocery sacks. “She said Marin called her a while ago and said she had an interesting experience in the grocery store. I’m sorry, but she knows about you and Spence now.”
“You say that as if there is something more at work than his stalwart Christian duty.”
“There could be. Katherine couldn’t remember the last time Spence gave a woman who wasn’t family a ride, let alone went grocery shopping with one. He tends to keep his distance.”
“Tends to keep his distance? Now that’s an understatement if I’ve ever heard one.”
“He’s a pro at it. If it was an event at the Olympics, he would be a gold medal winner. For the last decade. Maybe longer.” Rebecca curled up on the opposite couch and stole a chocolate-covered marshmallow cookie from the tray. “It’s just his personality. He’s been that way as long as I can remember. He’s the nicest guy beneath all the frowning.”
“I’m beginning to notice that.” Since she had a terrible weakness for those cookies, she had to take one and ignore the fact that she was supposed to be counting calories. “I get the feeling he doesn’t want anyone to know the real Spence McKaslin.”
“So, does this mean you like him?”
“Me?” Should the fact that she dropped the cookie mean anything? She hoped not. She snatched it up, hoping that her fingers were shaking because they had been so cold only a little bit ago—and for no other reason. “Please don’t read too much into this. Spence told me the only reason he was helping me was because he didn’t want all his sisters angry at him if he left me there to freeze into an icicle.”
“Uh-huh.” Rebecca looked like she didn’t believe it not even a tiny bit.
Maybe it was the perfect time to change the subject. “How is Katherine doing? I haven’t had a chance to talk to her this week.”
“Well, don’t you think it’s time we fixed that? Come to Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow, and you can see for yourself.”
Was that a twinkle of mischief in Rebecca’s eyes or just a trick of the light? Lucy wasn’t sure, but she did know one thing. “I can’t go barging in on a family holiday. No way.”
“Well, Spence told Katherine who told me that you don’t have any family in the area.”
“Did he? So this is his idea?” Her heart gave a lurch. She had no clue if that was a good sign or a very bad one.
“Oh, no. This invitation comes from Katherine. We’re having dinner at her house this year. Besides, our family has grown so huge with everyone getting married that you won’t be barging in at all. We’ll hardly notice you in the crowd. C’mon, say yes. Please?” She polished off the last of the cookie in one big bite.
Lucy did the same. Maybe it was all that yummy chocolate and processed sugar, but she felt warm and wonderful and optimistic. What could go wrong? She could have a little turkey, have a chance to talk with some of her favorite people—Katherine and Danielle. With any luck, Ava would bring dessert—she owned the best bakery in town. It was all win-win and had nothing at all—nothing whatsoever—to do with the fact that Spence would be there, too. She didn’t want to see the man of mystery again. Really.
“Sure,” she said, reaching for another cookie. Yes, she was feeling exceptionally optimistic. “Why not?”
“Great. Everyone will be thrilled you’re coming.” Rebecca spoke around a bite of cookie. “Even Spence.”
Even Spence. Lucy felt her heart give a little flip-flop again. She tried to tell herself it was only because she was curious about the man. Only curious. But she wasn’t quite convinced that was the whole truth—at least not anymore.

The moment he caught the delighted grin on Katherine’s face, Spence knew he was in trouble. “Was it Marin or Rebecca?” he demanded over the top of the grocery bag.
“Both, actually.” Katherine’s beautiful glow wasn’t only because she was eight months pregnant but because she thought her great plan might actually be possible. “Remember last year when Lucy first joined my reader’s group, I tried to fix the two of you up?”
“How could I forget?” Lucy was the last woman he wanted to talk about. “Don’t get carried away. She needed a ride. I gave her one. She needed a place to stay. I found her one.”
“Awfully Prince Charming of you to come to her rescue.” Katherine pointed the remote at the television and clicked it off. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to tease you. I’m just so happy. Good things happen to good people, and you’re a good man, Spence. You deserve someone nice.”
He winced. He didn’t know if Lucy was nice enough. He suspected he didn’t even want to know the answer to that. He did know that he had to find everything wrong with her, every flaw, every fault so he could keep his shields ready, active and in place. Spending time with her had proved to him how necessary that was. “Do you know what I deserve? A quiet night to myself without all these errands I have to do for other people. For once I would like to be able to leave work and not have to rescue someone who got her car plowed under along the street and can’t get home.”
“Oh, no. Lucy did that? Well, she’s from Oregon. It rains most of the winter there. She probably doesn’t know.”
“Now she does.” He glowered, hoping he conveyed that he thought Lucy Chapin was nothing but trouble, which she was. Absolutely. “Is Hayden upstairs?”
“Studying for a chemistry test.”
“I brought her some of that tea she likes and those chips. Good study food.” He strode off to the kitchen, leaving his sister before she could get more information out of him. He was sorry she was put on bed rest, as ordered by her doctor, but there was a bright side to it. At least she couldn’t come trailing after him demanding to talk more about Lucy.
Lucy. Just thinking of her made confusing emotions tangle up in his chest. She was like looking at an impossible crossword puzzle. She was like looking folly in the face. No, it was worse than that, he decided as he set the bags on the kitchen counter and started putting stuff away.
If she got close enough, Lucy could strip away his tough demeanor and matching scowl, which gave him comfort and a sense of safety. He remembered how she’d made his defenses buckle. How she seemed to see too much of him when they were talking. How his eyes involuntarily followed her whenever she was near.
Not to mention the panic. Lucy Chapin was his worst nightmare. If he let himself, he would really like her. If he let himself feel those emotions knotted up in his chest, he might discover that he could more than like her.
Danger. That’s why his heart was beating like a war drum against his chest. That’s why his palms were damp and his brain was a little scrambled. He wasn’t about to let anyone get that close—not on his life.
He emptied the rest of the perishables into the refrigerator and folded up the bags. He knew Katherine was waiting for him because the television was still off. Since he had to walk through the front of the house to get to his truck, he had to face her. His motto had always been that a good defense was a stunning offense. Distraction, that was the key.
“Hey, Katherine,” he said, even before he could see her. “Have you heard from Jack?”
“Not since he went out. He said he might be late. There was a bad wreck on the highway with a tractor trailer rig, so that might tie him up until late.”
“I’m worried about you.” Which was the truth, absolutely the truth. “I know Hayden’s here, but what if the lights go out?”
“I’ve got a flashlight on my end table and a book to read when my movie is done.” She seemed wise to his ways and bursting with another question.
He had to keep talking and fast. One thing a man learned with so many sisters was how to head them off. “I’ll be just a call away. The roads will still be a mess tomorrow, so I’ll go out to pick up Gran early. We’ll probably be here around ten.”
“Sure, all of that is fine, Spence.” Katherine’s eyes were laughing at him. “You sure are trying hard to keep me from asking you about Lucy again. If it’s too hard for you, I won’t. I promise. I won’t say another word.”
“Thank you.” Relief left him dizzy. “I just helped her out. I know you’re happily married to Jack. I’m glad for you. But you’ve got to understand. Marriage isn’t for everyone.”
“So you keep telling me.” It was concern that marked her pretty face. She was just about the only one he let fuss over him, and he recognized the look.
He stared down at his snowy boots. He didn’t want her to see how much this was costing him. Nothing could hurt like family, he’d told Lucy, but it was so much more than that. He’d lost the ability to trust. To believe in another person. To really believe enough to stake everything on someone else. He was grateful his sisters had found good men they could trust, even love.
But he didn’t believe in it. Love faded. Love ended.
Love could tear a man’s heart out. He’d seen it happen to his father. Spence zipped up his coat all the way and faced the door. He braced himself because he knew Katherine’s question was still coming and it would hit him like a falling brick.
“You like Lucy, don’t you?” Her question was soft with kindness and gentle with understanding, but that didn’t stop it from being too personal.
Too touchy-feely. Too tied up in emotions. Life was better when you stayed in the concrete world. In black and white. Did he like Lucy? That was a question he couldn’t answer. Because he would have to look at his tangled-up feelings. Because he would have to admit that his well-guarded heart wasn’t defended enough.
How could he not like Lucy? She was pretty and kind and lovely. When she smiled, it was like the sun coming out on a cloudy day. Like snow on Christmas morning.
“I don’t dislike her too much,” he said instead, saying what he wanted to be true. What he had to make true. “You know I’m better off alone.”
“I know you believe that, but—” Pity for him filled her eyes.
Pity. He hated it. “Don’t look at me like that.”
“I want good things for you, Spence. You work so hard for all of us. You are such a good man.”
“If you go on about how I deserve good things, I’m not going to grocery shop for you again.” It was an empty threat, and they both knew it.
She smiled. “Love isn’t a bad thing, Spence. Look how it has changed my life. I’m happier than I ever imagined being with Jack as my husband and Hayden as my daughter. And this baby on the way.” She rubbed her round stomach, lovingly. “You don’t want to be alone forever, do you? Don’t you want to be a father?”
“No.” To be a father would mean he would need a wife, and he’d vowed never to marry. Who could he ever trust that much? There probably wasn’t a woman on the face of this earth that he could believe in. At least, he was pretty sure he would never find one.
“Fine.” Katherine wasn’t easily defeated. “Then let me tell you a little about Lucy. She didn’t have a close family growing up. Her mother hardly talks to her since she became a Christian.”
He knew that. He didn’t want to think that they had something in common—moms who had let them down.
“She volunteers a lot at the children’s wing of the local hospital. She’s very devoted to her work there. She moved here because she came here on vacation and said she could still see the old Wild West.”
Deep down he wanted to like that about Lucy, that she could see Montana’s heritage and history and respected it. But on a safer level, he couldn’t let himself admit to such a thing. “Probably because she writes those historical books, moving here makes her job easier. That’s all.”
“Even you don’t believe that one. I know you, Spence. You push everyone away. You keep all of us at a distance.” There was more than pity on Katherine’s face now. There was love. “Maybe you could try letting someone in. I’m not saying it has to be Lucy, but if you did, I don’t think it would be a mistake.”
His throat ached. He thought back over the evening with Lucy in his truck. She had a companionable air to her. She was easy to talk with—even if he didn’t talk much. She was gentle and kind and funny. He had said more to her than he’d said to any woman outside his family in a good decade. She’d made him almost smile. At least twice. Maybe more. She made the cold places in his heart ache to be less lonely.
She was definitely a woman he needed to stay away from. He swallowed hard against the emotion bunched in his throat and lifted his hand in farewell. “See you tomorrow, Kath.”
The moment he felt the driving snow beat against his face, he tried to tell himself that Katherine might mean well, but she was wrong. He didn’t need anyone. He was happy with his life. He was glad to be alone.
The trouble was that loneliness was getting bigger and bigger, and tonight it felt enormous. The wind howled, chasing snow into drifts as he fought through the accumulation to his waiting truck. The lights behind him faded into darkness. By the time he’d tumbled into the cab and started the engine, he was colder than he’d ever been. He wanted to tell himself it was the weather, but it was more. It was the loneliness beating at him, the loneliness that hadn’t felt so bad before tonight. Maybe it was because he’d been so numb to it.
That was Lucy’s doing, too.
He started the truck, letting the defroster blast on high as he wiped down the windows again with another towel from beneath his seat. It was impossible not to remember Lucy watching him as if he’d sprouted another ear when he’d meticulously wiped down his side of the truck.
He supposed a woman like her wasn’t used to being practical. Katherine’s words stuck with him and hurt like a blade dug deep. Maybe you could try letting someone in. I’m not saying it has to be Lucy, but if you did, I don’t think it would be a mistake.
He couldn’t imagine a bigger one. Lucy was a writer, an author. In that way, she was just like his mother had been. She was someone seeking attention and fame and all the things that didn’t matter in life.
So what if he liked her? Nothing could ever come of it. He wasn’t foolish enough to let anyone too close to him—and never a woman chasing after dreams. No, he was a man who believed in what was real, in what mattered and in what could be measured by hard work. He didn’t approve of dreams.
Snow beat with impossible force against the windshield, and he started out in low gear, going slowly. He struggled to see the road at all.
The darkness seemed endless tonight, and he felt small and alone as he drove three streets down and five blocks over.

“Let me know if you need anything, okay?” Rebecca was saying from the hallway. “There are extra towels in the side cabinets and a new toothbrush in the top drawer on the left side of the sink.”
“You are very well-equipped for visitors.” Lucy couldn’t help being impressed. “My guest room is full of cardboard boxes I haven’t unpacked yet.”
“The munchkins stay over now and then. My nephew and niece,” she explained.
“It must be wonderful that you’re so close to them.”
“And that’s the way it’s going to stay.” She stopped at the guest bathroom door and stepped inside to put a new tube of toothpaste on the counter. “I’m getting married in January, and one of the first things Chad said when we were talking about how we were going to fit all his stuff in this condo was that there had to be room for the munchkins to stay over.”
“And soon there will be more nieces and nephews to dote on.” Lucy thought of the McKaslin twins, Ava and Aubrey, who were now both expecting.
“Yes. Spence has said that we’re going to be outnumbered soon.” There was an electronic chime.
“Is that your handsome fiancé?”
“Sending me a text message.” Rebecca’s heart-shaped face brightened with unmistakable happiness from unmistakable love. “That means he’s home safe.”
“He wants you to call him. Go.” Lucy remembered what it was like to be young and in love. “I can take it from here.”
“Thanks, Lucy.” Rebecca was already heading down the hall. “Just interrupt if you need something. Promise?”
“Promise.” Lucy stepped into the guest room with twin beds against two walls and a large window framed with floral-printed curtains.
She smiled at the flannel pajamas on the foot of one bed—still in its wrapping. Rebecca was surely a thoughtful hostess. The McKaslins were a nice family. She was looking forward to tomorrow, even when it came to Spence. He was a serious mystery, and the glimpses she had seen of him had more than intrigued her. They had shown her a snapshot of sorrow she could not help being touched by.
Everyone had a story; everyone knew sorrow. She knew that, but when it came to Spence, oftentimes it was easy to believe the cold, invincible face he presented to the world. She went to close the door, and the lights blinked out. Darkness descended, blotting out every shadow. She froze, disoriented. She didn’t know her way out of the room, and if she took a step with her luck she would bang right into the door.
Rebecca’s voice floated down the hallway. She was still on the phone. “No, sweetheart, don’t come over. Stay where you’re warm. Lucy and I will be fine. I’ve got a flashlight and batteries right here, thanks to Spence.”
Spence. Thanks to him there was a small light flashing to life at the end of the hall, chasing away the darkness. Whatever his flaws, he sure took good care of his family. Why hadn’t he married? Why did a bachelor own a house in a family neighborhood? Why did he walk around like a disgruntled grinch on Christmas Eve? Like Scrooge counting his money?
It was a mystery, and there was nothing she liked more—other than a good romance, but that went without saying. She opened the door and made her way toward the light.

Chapter Four
“Oh, I can’t wait to meet this Lucy I’ve heard so much about.” Gran tossed him the merry look of hers that said she knew something he didn’t.
It was probably because she had called Katherine or Danielle or Rebecca, any of whom would have been more than happy to inform their grandmother about Lucy Chapin. Disgruntled, he gripped the steering wheel tight and took his gaze briefly from the road to give Gran the Eye, adding extra squint and heavy frown.
“What? You don’t like Lucy?” Gran’s wide-eyed innocence was not too innocent.
Yep, they had all been definitely talking about Lucy. He scowled. It was best to keep quiet. Anything he said would be misinterpreted. He knew this from vast experience. He stared at the road, hoping Gran would get a hint and change the subject.
“Lucy is quite successful, isn’t she?” Gran’s voice gave a little smile, as if that was a good thing.
“Success is a matter of opinion,” he said. Even as he said the words, they did not sound harsh enough to his own ears.
“Oh, I think a person can be successful in more ways than one.” Gran was practically singing she sounded so happy.
He rolled his eyes. What had his sisters been saying?
“Your grandfather was a very successful businessman by any standards, and yet he never once lost sight of the other ways a man can be successful.” Gran paused, as if she were waiting for him to ask what those ways could be.
“The only success is not disappointing your family or God.” Maybe that would stop her. “I’m not interested in Lucy Chapin.”
“Why not? She sounds as nice as could be.”
“Nice? Nice is not what I’m looking for.”
“You can’t fool me, dear boy. You are transparent to me.” Gran’s words warbled with love and delight.
Thank heavens the ride was over. He pulled the truck into Katherine’s shoveled driveway and cut the engine. “Conversation over, Gran. Now don’t you move a muscle until I get over there to help you down. It’s slick as can be out there, and I won’t have you falling.”
“Yes, dear.”
Her amusement followed him out into the bitter cold. Her mood seemed to hover behind him like those storm clouds overhead. There was no doubt about it now; he was in for a hard time today. The women in his family were probably planning his and Lucy’s wedding. His pulse stopped. His foot slipped. He grabbed the bumper for support.
Marriage. Now that was one trap he wasn’t going to be lured into.
He opened the passenger door and helped Gran down. Jack had been out early and shoveled and deiced, but Spence wasn’t taking any chances. He kept a good hold on his grandmother until they were safely beneath the porch’s wide roof. He raised his hand to knock, but the door was already swinging open.
Ava’s smiling face seemed to burst with secret happiness. Was it too much to hope that she was still ecstatic about her pregnancy? Or was it something else—like Lucy—that she was smiling about now?
“Gran! Right on time.” Ava kissed their grandmother’s cheek and drew her into the warm house. “You’re looking more gorgeous than ever.”
“So are you, dear.” Gran took Ava by the hands and admired her. “I never looked so lovely when I was pregnant. Oh, and Aubrey dear, you look beautiful, too.”
Spence stopped listening because his ears filled with static. That could only mean one thing—Lucy was close by. He couldn’t remember closing the door or taking off his coat. His optic nerve hardly registered the sights of his twin sisters tugging Gran into Katherine’s living room or the family greeting him. His eyes malfunctioned, and the only face he could see was Lucy’s. Her emerald eyes and the cute slope of her nose and her gentle smile were powerful enough to make his feet stop moving and his throat go dry. He could only pray no one would notice, especially his eagle-eyed sisters.
“So you’re Lucy.” Gran’s voice rose above the others. “What a pleasure to meet you. Danielle gave me one of your books just last week. I started it yesterday, and I can’t remember the last time I read something that made me laugh so hard.”
Here it came, the long stream of self-importance he knew had to be there. He turned on his heel, forced his feet to start working again and stalked from the room. He could hear his mother’s voice from long ago, still crystal clear after all these years. If it wasn’t for you, I would be a star right now. I have the face for it, everyone used to say so. Then I would be somebody. Someone important.
He was halfway to the kitchen, but was he safe? No, because Lucy’s voice was following him like a cloud of doom.
“That’s so nice of you to say. A lot of people tell me my books are funny, but they aren’t supposed to be.”
A wave of laughter followed him as he stormed into the back half of the house. Dorrie and Lauren looked up from their work at the counter.
“Hi, Spence.” Lauren repositioned her knife and kept chopping. “Happy Thanksgiving.”
“Happy Thanksgiving to you, dear.” Dorrie’s eyes were twinkling, always a bad sign. She was in such a happy mood.
He didn’t approve of happy moods. The sound of Lucy’s voice seemed to gravitate to his ears like space dirt to the atmosphere, and while he couldn’t make out the words, he heard kindness and caring in her tone. Gran was answering her. They were hitting it off. Great. That meant everyone in the family was now in love with Lucy.
“You look in a particularly good mood this morning.” Dorrie waltzed toward him, stopping to lay a reassuring hand on Lauren’s shoulder before she circled around the counter. “And wearing the sweater I gave you for your birthday. It looks handsome on you, just like I thought.”
“It’s black. It seemed appropriate for today.”
Dorrie laughed; she always understood him even when no one did. It had always been that way, even when he’d been a hurting teenager and he’d done his best to push her away. She hadn’t been fooled then, and she wasn’t now. “It may be an occasion of mourning for you, Spence, but we like having Lucy here. You ought to try smiling a little. Show off your dimples.”
“I don’t have dimples.” It was best to deny it.
“Put your best foot forward. The girls told me everything.”
“Of course they did.” He recognized the look. Dorrie was ready to give him a hug, and physical closeness made him nervous. He stepped back. “I don’t want to put my best foot forward, sorry.”
Dorrie rolled her eyes, still not fooled. “If it makes any difference, I don’t think it matters. God makes our plans, Spence, we don’t. Don’t you forget that.”
It was his turn to roll his eyes. “God’s plan for me right now involves making sure no one falls on the sidewalk out front. I’m going to put more deicer out there before Danielle, Jonas and the kids get here. Jonas might have trouble with his cane.”
“All right.” Dorrie went back to the stove where pots were boiling, and delicious scents were rising up with the steam. “You go work on the sidewalk if that’s what you need to do, but you’re still going to have to come back into this house sometime. You can’t avoid her forever.”
His hand was on the doorknob to the garage before he realized two things. Dorrie and Lauren were exchanging looks that made him fear the worst: They were going to make sure it was impossible for him to avoid Lucy Chapin. And, worst of all, he had left his coat in the other room. He would have to walk past Lucy to get to it.
Maybe Jack had an extra coat in the garage, he thought, and yanked open the door. “Dorrie, don’t you sit me next to Lucy at the table. You hear?”
“Sure, I hear you.” Dorrie sounded as if she were enjoying this way too much. “But I am your mother, young man, and you will sit where I tell you to, and you will mind the manners I raised you with.”
He had a few things to say to that, but the truth was anything he might say would hurt Dorrie’s feelings, and he wouldn’t do that on his life. So he left her to her victory and her hopes and stalked out into the frigid garage. He was out of luck. There was no coat or anything he could use anywhere in the neatly organized shelving. Dorrie was right. He couldn’t stay outside forever. He hit the garage opener, and who was standing there holding his coat?
Lucy. He gritted his teeth and prepared for his system to go haywire. His palms went damp. His face felt hot. He suddenly seemed far too tall and big and awkward.
Dainty, petite Lucy was sweet and unruffled. She obviously wasn’t having a problem functioning. No, she looked calm and at ease, without so much as a nervous flicker. She was wrapped up warmly in her parka and fuzzy hat, scarf and mittens—in neon blue.
“Your sisters thought you might need this.” She held out his warm coat like a peace offering.
He did not want a peace offering. He wanted his system to return to normal. He wanted the static to clear from his brain and the panic to leave his bloodstream. He forced his feet toward her and plucked the coat out of her grip. “They forced you to bring this out?”
“You know they did. They all used the pregnancy excuse, and your grandmother simply shouldn’t be out in the ice.”
“It is getting colder out.” It was the closest thing he could say to thank you. He was grateful for her concern about his grandmother, but that was as far as he was willing to go. It was best to keep the status quo of him disliking her and her avoiding him. He punched his arms into the sleeves of his coat. “You can go now.”
She squinted her pretty eyes at him and folded her arms over her chest. The contemplative look on her lovely face made his stomach drop.
Uh-oh. He was going to get some comment on that. As he spotted the bag of deicer and strode toward it—alarmingly close to her—he could hear her mind working. The best defense was a good offense, so he started talking before she could start in. “Go. Just because I helped you last night doesn’t mean I want you hanging around today.”
“Sure, I see that.” She winced, and there was a shadow of hurt in her soft green eyes.
It stung his conscience, but he had to set boundaries. He had to drive her away and keep her there because of the strange weakening in the vicinity of his heart. Every instinct he had began to shout danger! Longing eased to life in his soul—a deep, quiet wish that he could not allow.
“I think I have your number, Spence McKaslin.”
“I doubt it.” He grabbed the scoop inside the deicer bag and filled it. There was no way she could know his secret. No possible way. He straightened, doing his level best to keep his focus on the concrete in front of his boots. With great effort, he was able to walk right on past her like a normal, not interested, unaffected man.
He was careful to keep his back to her, though, as he scattered the pellets across the driveway. Her boots pattered on the concrete behind him. He could feel her intake of breath. She was preparing to say whatever she had been thinking so hard about, and he wasn’t going to stand for it. He had defenses to fortify and shields to keep in place.
“Go in, Lucy. Go away.” Those words didn’t come out nearly as harsh as he wanted, and he winced. How was he going to drive her away if he didn’t sound mean and unfriendly? Where had his commanding voice gone? Where was his embittered grimace? He tried to summon them up, but they were as frozen as the wintry world around him.
“You can growl and bark all you want. I’m not going anywhere.” Lucy padded on by him in her expensive designer boots. She was holding a smaller scoop, and she had the audacity to sprinkle pellets, too. “You can’t scare me anymore.”
“Why not?” He deepened his voice and scowled extra hard.
“Because I have figured you out, Spence McKaslin.”
“Unlikely.”
“Likely,” she corrected with the sweetest grin. She faced him with her chin set and her pretty eyes laughing at him. “You always used to make my knees tremble, and I did all I could to avoid you, but no more. Growl all you want. I’m not afraid.”
His jaw dropped. He knew he was staring at her like an idiot, and if any of his family happened to be looking out of the front window at this exact moment, they would draw a much different conclusion. He probably looked like a lovelorn fool gaping at Lucy as if she were the loveliest woman on earth.
She did happen to be the loveliest woman on earth, but he didn’t want to be caught staring at her.
She sashayed on by, heading straight to the bag of deicer. “You don’t have to look so shocked. I’m glad I can now step foot inside the bookstore and the church without having to plan how to avoid you first.”
“Maybe I want you to avoid me.” His mouth felt strange in the corners, almost as if he were trying to grin. Impossible. He forced the corners of his mouth down into a severe frown and cast the last of the pellets along the corner of the driveway.
“It was nice of you to help me out yesterday.” She stopped at his side.
Way too close. His throat seized up. His lungs forgot how to work. His feet iced to the concrete. “N-no problem. I would do the same for anyone lacking good sense.”
“I know.” She didn’t seem particularly bothered by his insult, as if she knew he didn’t mean it. “I understand completely. It was nothing personal.”
“Good.” Whew. He stormed past her and commanded his eyes not to stray in her direction. He’d had enough of this malfunctioning eyeball problem. It took all of his effort to focus on the ground in front of him, and yet his vision strayed to her. He couldn’t help noticing the way she stood like sweetness itself, framed with the background of pristine snow and beheld by the white mantle of snow clouds that were gathering. Dressed in her bright blue coat, she was like a dream, too good to be real and impossible to believe in.
You don’t believe in dreams, he reminded himself as he snatched Jack’s snowblower from its place against the wall. He’d lived his life this way, from the moment Linda—his biological mother—took off. He learned how foolish dreams were. He learned how fickle love was. A smart man didn’t let his heart go warm and soft over a woman. He gave the snowblower a shove and burst back out into the driveway.
Lucy was watching him with a puzzled look. “The driveway is clear of snow. Even that little skiff of ice is gone, now that the deicer is working.”
He scowled. Scowling was one of his most effective defensive tools. “Certain neighbors have not cleared their sidewalks. They ought to be fined.”
“It’s a holiday. Perhaps they are out of town.”

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