Just Try Me...
Jill Shalvis
A red-hot adrenaline rush!Adrenaline junkie Lily is no stranger to taking chances. But that was before an accident nearly took her life. Now she has a new motto: look before you leap! And her new low-risk job, as a guide for hikers in the Sierra mountains, fits her new attitude perfectly.That is, until she meets breathtakingly gorgeous hiker Jared Skye – and wants to leap straight into his bed! Tall, dark Jared has set Lily’s pulse racing. Can she remain cautious or is now the time to succumb to her smouldering-hot fantasies?
“Come here,” Jared said,daring her to go after what heknew they both wanted.
Taking Lily’s hand, he pulled her down beside him on a rock. Looking around, Lily noticed that they were on the far side of the lake – still within earshot of the others, but just out of view.
Fog hovered over the water, drifting over them, smudging the night scenery like a glorious wet painting. With a sigh, she let it all surround her – the crickets singing, the branches brushing together in the light breeze, the others talking back at camp…
Her own heartbeat.
Lily looked at him, at his profile with his strong, masculine features and the mouth that she so desperately wanted on hers.
“I want to strip you out of your clothes and take you right here,” he growled.
“The others –”
“Can hear, I know. We’ll be quiet,” he said, his voice sharp with desire.
He looked at her then, his glasses slipping just a little, a frown on his mouth. His jaw was shadowed with stubble and his hair had been finger combed. He was definitely a bad boy. An irresistibly sexy bad boy.
And lucky for Lily, bad boys were her weakness…
JILL SHALVIS
also lives in the Sierras, where she regularly survives hiking expeditions while surrounded by quirky characters. But these characters are her family, and she hardly ever has to dive off cliffs and jump into icy rivers to rescue people. Any other similarities between her life and Just TryMe… are purely coincidental.
Look for her bestselling, award-winning novels wherever romances are sold, and check out her website at www.jillshalvis.com.
JUST TRY ME…
BY
JILL SHALVIS
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Prologue
WILDLAND FIREFIGHTER Lily Peterson stood on the edge of a cliff, surrounded by a three-hundred-and-sixty-degree vista of what should have been glorious Montana mountains. Instead, the peaks were charred black and still smoking.
She was on mop-up duty. It meant walking and investigating every little plume of smoke rising from the dead mountains; arduous, dirty, exhausting work. She was at the far end of the burn, standing between devastation and new growth. Her job—protect the unscorched areas from a flare-up. No easy feat with the earth beneath her feet still radiating heat.
Both above and below her, the trees were nothing but skeletons. Hundreds and hundreds of years of forest development destroyed because some jerk hadn’t put out his campfire properly.
But they’d saved this part of the forest. It’d taken weeks. As a result, she was exhausted, right down to the bone, practically stumbling on her feet with it, but they’d done good.
The sun was just rising. Eyes gritty from lack of sleep, Lily patted her pockets for her sunglasses, but she must have left them back at the barracks. Lifting her head, she shielded her eyes with her hand and looked around for the others. She stepped closer to the edge of the plateau on which she stood, high above the valley by a good hundred feet. Matt and Tony were far below her, at least half a mile away, separated from each other by several football fields, walking east, heads down, doing just as she was.
Watching for flare-ups.
After six straight weeks of firefighting, eating while standing up, grabbing only catnaps when they could, she felt woozy, dead on her feet.
And the sun was killing her.
She turned her back on the valley, and observed the burned area around her. There was so much to keep an eye on, too much. Budgeting and financial cutbacks kept them perpetually understaffed, resulting in too many hours on-site and too few hours off for recuperation, not to mention too few people working at any one time.
When she found herself actually weaving, practically asleep where she stood, she backed up to a tree, slowly sliding down until she sat on the ground, her head resting against the trunk.
She lowered her hand from her face and then couldn’t keep her eyes open in the bright glare. So she closed them, just for a moment.
And never saw the new, dark-black plume of smoke rising from a hot spot, only five yards away…
1
LILY LAY FLAT on her back, her physical therapist pushing her leg up over her head as though she were a pretzel, telling her to “work it, Lily, stop whining and work it,” while pain seared a fiery line from her ass to the very tip of her hair.
Lily would like to work him, all right—right into a bloody pulp.
Instead she gritted her teeth and told herself that this was the price she paid for stupidity.
No self-pity, she decided as she began to sweat like a stuck pig, her tank top sticking to her skin, her leg quivering wildly as she stretched her abused, injured muscles… Damn, she hurt.
Maybe retiring wasn’t so bad. It wasn’t as if it was the first time. From high school, she’d gone into expedition guiding, which she’d retired from to become a paramedic. And when she’d burned out scooping stab victims off the streets of Los Angeles, she’d retired again to become a wildland firefighter.
And she’d loved it. Thrived on it, actually, moving from fire to fire, exploring Montana, the Dakotas, Idaho, Wyoming…a perfect fit for her restless spirit.
Until she’d screwed up and nearly gotten herself killed.
Nope, there was no sugarcoating this retirement; she was no longer a firefighter—because of injuries, not by choice. She felt weak and insignificant, and at the age of twenty-nine-and-three-quarters, she wasn’t ready for either. She wanted to be back out there, damn it, doing her thing, going where she wished, doing something she loved and was good at.
But she couldn’t have passed an agility test to save her life. Hell, she couldn’t even touch her toes at the moment.
“Harder, Lily.”
She squeezed her eyes shut and stretched harder, feeling her muscles pull and burn. And yet still, beyond the pain, she also felt…itchy. She needed to be on the move, working with adrenaline as her daily friend. It was a pattern in her life, an affliction. It was who she was, what she did.
Or who she’d used to be anyway—a terrifying thought because…who the hell was she now? “Damn it, ow,” she said to her PT, a gorgeous man who resembled Denzel Washington.
Eric nodded in approval and backed off. “Was wondering if you even had a pain threshold there for a minute.”
“Got it, and we hit it.”
He smiled—because it wasn’t his muscles they were torturing. “Wait here. I’m going to get you some ice.”
She’d spent a lot of time in and out of the hospital since her Screw-Up. Major, life-threatening injuries did that to a person. But she’d still not learned to be a good waiter. In fact, waiting was for sissies who needed a minute, and she absolutely did not. She had things to do, places to go. Rolling over, she pushed up to her hands and knees, still trembling like a damn newborn.
Or a wildland firefighter who’d woken up in the middle of a full-blown flare-up, forced backwards by the flames, where she’d taken a fall off the cliff, hitting a few burning trees on the way down. Forty feet down. An ex-firefighter now, who couldn’t move an inch. She collapsed to her belly, and lay there like a beached whale.
Okay, so maybe she did need a minute.
Around her the PT office buzzed with the low hum of voices, the whir of equipment. More people being pushed to the edge of sanity… Someone’s cell phone rang. Lily hated cell phones. Truthfully, she wasn’t crazy about anything electronic, which she supposed made her an outcast in her own generation.
But give her a wide-open space with nothing marring the sound of a soft breeze any day. Thinking it, yearning, she looked out the window toward the Golden Gate Bridge. Unfortunately, San Francisco didn’t have a lot of wide-open spaces. Not the way she liked them anyway, the kind that took three days of walking to get to civilization.
Nearby, something else beeped—someone’s Blackberry, or a laptop—and she sighed, missing being outside. The mat beneath her smelled like the sweat and tears of all the previous patients Eric had worked over, and she crawled to one of the chairs lining the wall.
All around her were the injured and the hurting, and it depressed her enough to keep to herself. She scanned the stack of magazines. Fashion, gossip rags…then her gaze snagged on U.S. Weekly Review, and the cover article— “Adrenaline Rush.”
Huh. Interested in something for the first time in too long, she risked the pain to reach for it. “Ow, ow, ow…” The magazine opened right to the cover article. Beneath the title was a single-line testimonial from the editor of the magazine.
This article changed my life, give it a try!
No article had ever changed Lily’s life, and with no small amount of skepticism, she began to read. The author believed life was all about risk-taking, and how too few people actually risked at all, much less lived life to its fullest.
So far, Lily agreed. Hadn’t she taken more than a few risks in her life, the latest of which had resulted in her being here right this minute? As for living life to its fullest…well, she’d done that, too. In all areas.
Okay, in all areas except maybe one, but she didn’t want to think about her love life.
Or lack thereof. Men tended to come in and out of her world like the passing of a tide, no one having made a lasting impression. She knew what it said about her that she’d never had a real long-term relationship, and she didn’t care. Her life wasn’t conducive to long-term anyway, including men.
With a sigh, she went back to the article. “Jumpstart your life” it demanded, and went on to explain that a risk didn’t have to be physical, it just had to be something off her own beaten path.
Well, since the path she’d been on had been a dizzying whirlwind of doctors and more doctors, she felt more than ready for different, thank you very much.
But how to do it? She was a mere shadow of her former self. How could she ever find the courage to risk again?
But…could she stand not to?
“Ah, here you are,” Eric said, returning with the promised icepack. He patted the mat next to him, and with a groan, she tossed the magazine aside and crawled back to work.
Two months later
LILY HAD HEALED just enough to be restless as hell. And frustrated.
And truthfully? Scared. It showed in the lingering nightmares of waking up surrounded by flames, it showed in her sudden dislike of being alone.
She could have called her mother, but her mother liked the idea of Lily “settling down,” “acting her age.” Lily had no siblings, and her father…well let’s just say she was entirely too like him.
Or so she’d been told. Since he hadn’t been around in years, she couldn’t be sure.
It didn’t matter. She was alone, and that’s just the way it was. But for the first time in her life, she wasn’t strong, and she hated that. She needed…something, something to show her she could become the person she’d been before her accident.
But more than that, she needed money. She’d been searching for a viable job for weeks now, and had found nothing to interest her. But funds were running low and the criteria was going to have to change from what interested her to what fed her.
She opened her paper to the want ads and her gaze immediately locked on one in particular. A trek guide was needed ASAP by an expedition company— Outdoor Adventures, to be exact.
Lily stared at the ad and felt a rush of emotion, along with a sense of deja vu. Outdoor Adventures, where she’d first worked as an eighteen-year-old guide, nearly twelve years ago. Jumpstart your life…take a risk… It was like a sign, right? She could start over, back at the beginning. Maybe she could become strong again. Become the person she’d once been.
Without letting herself think, she reached for the phone and called the number listed, though in truth, she somehow still had it memorized. A receptionist answered, and she heard herself ask for Keith Tyler, but when he came on the line with his low, almost unbearably familiar voice, she went still, bombarded by memories: climbing mountains, leading treks, being young and strong and…and nothing like she was now.
“Hello?” Keith said again, a hint of impatience in his tone now. “Anyone there?”
“Wow,” she finally managed. “You sound the same.”
There was a pause. Then, “Lily? Lily Peterson?”
“How are you, Keith?”
“Thrilled to hear from you. I was just thinking about you not too long ago, wondering if you remembered me.”
“Of course I remember. You were…” Would she say her first boss…or her first lover?
Both applied.
He merely chuckled. “Yeah, I always was hard to pigeon-hole. Still am, to be honest.”
Lily lay back on her bed, closed her eyes, and was transported back in time. Having just graduated high school, she’d finally been able to give in to the wanderlust bug. She’d left Los Angeles, her mother and friends, and had gone to work as an expedition guide.
Keith’s guide. Ten years her senior, he’d been gorgeously worldly, and of course, sexy as hell. All that long, hot summer, she’d worked for Outdoor Adventures, guiding hiking trips through the Sierras, teaching people about the outdoors by day, and by night…well, Keith had certainly taught her plenty by night, every night.
Until she’d moved on to her next adventure, and left him and all the memories behind.
But not too far behind, given the odd ping low in her belly just from listening to his voice. “I saw your ad in the paper,” she said.
“And I saw you, not in the want ads though, but the front page. You had quite a fall.”
After all these months, she still flinched. She hated that her mistake, her failure, had been so public. “Yeah.”
“You broke your back. You…you’re in a wheelchair now, yes?”
“No.”
“But the article said you weren’t expected to walk again, that—”
“I’m fine now.” If fine meant a stupid limp and some serious lingering aches and pains that made her feel like an old lady all the time.
“But not fine enough to fight fires?”
“And to think, once upon a time, I loved your characteristically blunt manner.”
“Yeah, I guess I haven’t changed much.” There was a smile in his voice. “So you want to trek again? But…”
“I know I can do it.” Okay, that was a little white lie. She knew no such thing. What she did know was that once upon a time, she’d been the fittest of the fit, and strong as hell. Her body had never failed her.
Until she’d failed it.
“Just try me,” she said, hating the desperation she could hear in her voice. Please just try me. She needed this, needed to be outside, needed to feel strong enough for something.
“You always were a great guide,” Keith admitted. “I guess, if you’re serious, I have a camping trek next week in the Sierras. It’s high-altitude though,” he warned. “And high summer. It’s also seven to ten miles of walking for four days running.”
“I can do it,” she said quickly, even as she paled at the thought of pushing her body that hard.
“Well, once upon a time no one knew that area better than you,” he admitted. “Should be right up your alley. Pre-trip meeting is in three days, my offices.”
She smiled, and that alone felt…amazing. She would do this, and she’d feel worthwhile again, alive. “I’ll be there.”
“I guess a trip like this will be good for you, huh?”
Good for her? Probably not.
But something to do, a direction to go in?
God, she hoped so.
OUTDOOR ADVENTURE’S offices were located in a large but old art deco building right on the bay. Twice she drove by looking for a parking spot. There wasn’t one. There was never a parking spot in San Francisco, anywhere.
She glanced at the magazine on the seat next to her— the one with the Adrenaline-Rush article, which she’d bought for herself to keep staring at.
Risk.
Yeah. She was risking, all right.
Just then a parking spot opened up right in front of Keith’s building. It was a sign, she thought, a sign that she was doing the right thing, and she put on her blinker and—
And nearly crashed into a brand-new Lexus, whose driver was going for the spot at the same time.
Her truck a mere inch from his, he looked at her through his designer sunglasses.
Oh, no you don’t, she thought, and pointed to the spot and then to herself. Mine.
Lifting a brow, he cocked his head, as if not used to being told no.
Well, she had plenty of nos for him, but then he did something she didn’t expect. He waved her into the spot.
Go ahead, he mouthed, his glasses slipping down his nose. Pushing them up, he again waved her forward. Take it.
Huh. Go figure. He wasn’t a jerk. She watched as he put his car in Reverse, giving her room to take the spot.
Still dazed by this, she pulled in. By the time she got out of her car, he was gone, probably having to drive to Seattle to get his own spot.
That’s when she looked up and saw it. The handicap tag she’d been given after her injury, hanging off her rearview mirror. The tag she hadn’t used in months but had never removed.
He’d given her the spot out of pity.
Well damn if she didn’t hate that all the way down to her toes and back, where it settled into her gut like a slow burn. She didn’t need the charity spot, damn it. Yanking the sign down, she stuffed it beneath her seat. Uncomfortably unsettled, she got out of her truck, refusing to admit to the shooting pain in her legs, the one she always got when she first stood up.
She ignored it. Her doctor had said she was healed enough to walk from here to the ends of the earth, which she’d taken to mean she could certainly lead others there, or anywhere else she chose.
Shooting pain or not.
The San Francisco night was cool for July. Summer still hadn’t really kicked into gear yet, and as usual, probably wouldn’t until it was nearly over. Didn’t matter. She loved the misty air, the salty breeze, but it was time to get back to the mountains.
Yeah, if you can really actually do this …
Swallowing the doubts, she moved up the steps. Ahead of her was a man, tall and lanky, with short dark hair, dressed in clean, neat lines that would have looked just right on the pages of a glossy men’s magazine. He held some sort of digital device in his hand, an earphone in his left ear, and was typing something at the speed of light with only his thumb as he walked and talked to himself.
No, wait. He wasn’t talking. He was singing. Singing badly off-key to…she couldn’t hear whatever it was he heard through his earpiece, but she caught his words. He was definitely screwing up a good U2 song.
He slid the Sidekick in his back pocket, the display still lit up, suggesting he had incoming messages and/or a phone call, all of which he ignored to squat and pat a stray dog on the steps of the building.
The dog, a mixture of black and white and grunge, rolled on its back and exposed its belly for more petting, its huge tongue lolling out of its head in ecstasy.
“Good boy,” the man said, taking a seat on the step in his well-fitting beige pants which meant he clearly didn’t do his own laundry. “You’re a good boy, aren’t you?”
In answer, the dog drooled happily, his legs straight up in the air.
As Lily came level with them, they both looked up, the man letting out an easy smile.
Her parking spot savior.
2
IN RESPONSE to Lily’s surprise, the man’s mouth went from smile to grin, the kind that was instantly contagious, though she didn’t understand why. Because for her, a contagious smile came from a different sort of man entirely: a rebel, a guy who could and would transport her, make her wonder what was going to come next, give her a sense of…adventure.
This guy, in his pretty-boy clothes and pocket full of toys was cute enough, but her geek alert was beeping an alarm as loud as his Sidekick. “I didn’t need that parking spot,” she said.
“Okay.” He looked at her from hazel eyes that were more whiskey-brown than sea-green.
“You should have kept it for yourself.”
He seemed amused. “Not used to gift parking spots, huh?”
She wasn’t used to gift anythings.
Leaning in, he arched his brow. “A hint? The correct response is ‘thank you.’”
Damn it, he was right. She hated that. “Thank you,” she said, moving through the door he opened for her. “Twice.” She moved past him into the building’s lobby, refusing to notice how good he smelled, or that she could feel him watching her limp.
“You okay?” he asked, right on cue.
Her shoulders stiffened. “I’m good.” To prove it, she moved past the elevators, toward the door to the stairs. “I’m going to take these since you spared me the trouble of having to hike in from Timbuktu.”
He laughed, a sound that seemed to come easily, and for some reason, she turned to look at him. Laugh lines fanned out from those interesting eyes, assuring her that he laughed often. “Glad I could save you the trouble,” he said. “Think of how much gas you’d have used going to Timbuktu and back.” His Sidekick beeped again, and he reached for it. “Excuse me. If I don’t get that, it self-destructs.”
“Sounds dangerous.”
“Yeah, it’s not pretty.”
Probably he couldn’t make a move without something beeping or requiring his attention, and she wondered how a guy like that ever went to bed with a woman. Did he bring all his toys and leave them on the nightstand when he stripped? Not that she cared, but it was an interesting image, him naked, holding his PDA, saying “excuse me, honey, hold that thought while I get a text message.”
While he worked, she did as she usually did with things that made her uncomfortable, she walked away, letting herself into the stairwell to begin the climb. Halfway up, she thought she was going to die, and had to bend down at the knees and gasp for breath, which really pissed her off.
Damned body.
When she finally made it to the offices, she opened Outdoor Adventure’s door and immediately took a deep breath. Ah, she remembered this place fondly. There were still maps, topos and photographs of places from all over the world on the walls. The maps were dotted with pins signifying where Keith and his guides had taken people. Once upon a time, she’d been the yellow pins, but someone else had taken that color. From all around her came a familiar sense of energy and excitement, and she was assaulted with memories.
The first time she’d set foot in here, she’d been awed and thrilled and…excited. During her interview, Keith had sat on his desk, right in front of her, larger than life, gorgeous and sexy. He’d agreed to teach her to guide that day, a promise he’d kept.
After she’d lost her virginity on that desk.
Now the reception area was filled with a group of people, drinking sodas and nibbling on munchies—the custom pre-trip meeting. She took in the faces, and then one in particular—Keith’s, and just like that, she was no longer quickly approaching her thirtieth birthday without a plan, but was a nervous eighteen-year-old.
“Lily,” he said, and crossed the room toward her. His sun-kissed-wheat hair was still long to his shoulders. His baby blues, always smiling, had a few more laugh lines, but as was typical of a man, they only added character. At five-ten, his body was still whipcord-lean and tough, ready for his next trip or climb or adventure or whatever.
One never knew with Keith.
It’d been part of his appeal. She waited for the onslaught of more emotions, but interestingly enough, they didn’t come, and that disappointed her even as she knew it was silly. What had she expected, to immediately be transported back to “herself”?
Maybe a little, she admitted, no matter how unrealistic that had been.
Keith put his hands on her arms and pulled her in, kissing one cheek, then the other, lingering with both far longer than social decorum called for.
Not that Keith had ever been concerned with social decorum. He’d always done what he wanted, when he wanted, never caring what anyone thought. That had been incredibly appealing to her back then, and she smiled now, leaning into him as if he could infuse her with his strength, his zest.
“You look amazing,” he said for her ears only, handing her a drink from a nearby tray. “Now let me introduce you to your group. Everyone,” he called out, stopping the light conversation and chatter in the room with just the one word, apparently clearly still carrying charisma around in spades. “This is Lily Peterson.” He squeezed her shoulder, smiled down into her face. “I’ve put her bio in your packet, but here’s your chance to meet her in person and ask her any questions you’ve stored up.”
Everyone began chattering at once, and Keith laughed.
Not Lily. She didn’t often get nervous. After all, she’d once been stuck on a mountain in a blizzard with no hopes of survival, and she’d gone down a class-six rapid and had her kayak break apart on the rocks all around her. Hell, she’d fallen off a cliff and broken her back, to be told she’d never walk again.
But this first meeting of people…this got to her. She took a quick sip of her drink and forced a smile. “Hello, everyone.”
“Let’s start with Rose McCall.” Keith gestured to the woman closest to Lily. “Rose is a real estate agent from downtown, and is looking for something new and fun to do with herself. Hence the hike.”
Rose waggled her fingers at Lily. Her nails were long and purple-tipped, encrusted with diamonds. “Looking forward to this, let me tell you.” She wore designer jeans, low on her curvy hips and so tight Lily had no idea how the woman moved. Her black halter top was covered in sparkles that matched her five-inch heels. Her carefully applied makeup masked her age, but Lily would have guessed late thirties.
The Woman on the Prowl, Lily thought as she shook her hand. “Nice to meet you.”
Rose smiled. “Likewise. I have a question. How do you feel about sandals?”
“On the trail?”
“Yes. My feet like to be cool. My toes need to breathe.”
“Probably they’re going to want to breathe before and after the trip,” Lily said as diplomatically as she could. “Boots are definitely best.”
“Agreed,” Keith said, and with his hands on Lily’s shoulders, turned her toward the next group member. “And this here is Roland Rocklin.”
Roland was a twenty-something guy dressed in all in black from head to toe, black fatigues, black form-fitting T-shirt, black combat boots, and he was so gorgeous Lily actually blinked.
“Rock,” Roland corrected, and held out his hand, a movement that set off all kinds of rippling muscles to go with his engaging smile.
“Wrestler?” Lily asked, thinking The Hottie. She’d never say her labels out loud, but she’d always had fun characterizing her groups. And she was already— shocking—having fun.
“Boxer,” Rock told her with a quick grin. “My trainer bought me this trip for my birthday, said I was a pansy-ass—er, a wuss if I didn’t make it to the end.”
“Oh, you’ll make it to the end,” Lily assured him. No one was giving up on her watch, not even her, not if it killed her. “We all will.”
“Good to hear.” Rock’s gaze slid over to Rose, who was retying her halter top. When the material slipped, she caught it just before exposing a nipple.
“Oops.” She laughed gustily. “Sorry, don’t mind me. But let me just say, I do like the idea of all of us getting to the…grand finish.”
Rock’s tongue fell out. Lily figured he was lucky he didn’t start drooling.
Keith cleared his throat. “Moving on. Lily, meet Jack and Michelle Moore.” He gestured to the young couple on the other side of Rose. They were both dressed to the nines, and built like they lived in a gym, not to mention California-perfect blond. “The trip is their one-year anniversary present from Michelle’s father.”
“Present…or torture rack,” Michelle said as they both shook Lily’s hand.
“No torture,” Lily assured her.
“Yeah. Um, I was wondering.” Michelle leaned in. “If there’s any way you could just pretend we went on this trip. You know, if my father asked.”
Lily blinked. “Pretend?”
“Don’t listen to her,” Jack said. “We’re going.” He looked at his wife. “You agreed to go so you don’t lose your allowance. If it’s that important to you, you go.”
Michelle sighed. “Fine. But…could we arrange for a later start time so we don’t have to get up quite so early?”
Lily shook her head. “I’m sorry, no. We have to leave at eight.”
Michelle pursed her perfectly glossed lips. “Eight is ungodly.”
“That may be, but we have a schedule. It’s the start time.”
“Huh.” She considered that a moment. “Well, what happens if someone’s…say, like, late?”
Lily glanced at Keith, who simply raised a brow. Passing the buck. Something he was good at, she remembered. He didn’t like to be the bad guy. “If you’re late,” she said gently but firmly. “You’ll probably get left.”
Michelle looked intrigued by that, but Jack shook his head. “Michelle.”
“Oh, fine. We’ll be there.”
Behind them, the office door opened, and in came…
“Ah,” Keith said, with a welcoming smile. “The last member of the group, Jared Skye.”
The man who gave up parking spots, stopped to pet stray dogs and opened doors for temperamental women now had a name.
He smiled at Lily, and the oddest thing…something happened low in her belly. It was a pit of knowledge— by the end of this trip, they would have a history, this man and herself. Somehow, in some way, she knew it.
She just didn’t like it.
He slipped out his earpiece and shook hands with Keith, who turned to Lily and brought her close to his side. “Jared, meet Lily, your guide.”
Jared looked startled for one moment before carefully masking it, probably wondering how someone with a handicap sticker could possibly be a hiking guide. That, or worse, he was thinking she was some sort of fraud, and Lily ground her back teeth and cursed herself all over again.
Keith handed Jared a drink. “A word of warning with this one, Jared.” He said this with a warm, intimate smile for Lily. “Don’t be late for the takeoff, or trust me, your beautiful guide here will leave you standing in the dust. I’ve been there myself.”
“I’ll be on time.” Jared tipped his glass toward Lily in a toast, eyes warm, smile genuine. “To a good start and a great trip.”
Again, she experienced an unsettling little sizzle, and she gave Jared Skye a second look as they all drank to his toast. Sure his eyes were compelling with that odd mix of chocolate and sea-green, and yes, he had that contagious smile which mixed self-deprecation and good humor, but those things weren’t enough.
Right?
Keith was dividing a glance between Jared and herself, as if he could feel the inexplicable electric current. “You two know each other?”
“Not exactly.” Jared smiled into Lily’s eyes. “But I’m guessing that this time I’ll be thanking you.”
“I haven’t taken you anywhere yet,” she said. “You might hate it.”
“You think so?”
She scanned his lanky frame, and was surprised to find her gaze lingering. His face was clean-shaven, and while not exactly pale, certainly not tanned and rugged from any amount of time spent outdoors. His clean athletic shoes had clearly never seen a trail. His glasses were slipping again, and she’d bet herself he’d lose them on the first day unless he put a leash on them.
No, he didn’t look like much of an outdoor guy. He looked more like an indoor, hunched-over-a-laptop guy, but before she could find a nice way to say so, something in one of his pockets beeped.
“More digital equipment?” she asked. “What a surprise.”
With a wry smile, he reached for the offending unit, flicking it off with his thumb without even looking at it. “Sorry.”
Keith shook his head. “You’re going to want to leave all that stuff behind, man.”
“Really?” Jared slipped the PDA back in his pocket. “Why’s that?”
“It takes away from the outdoor experience.”
Jared turned to Lily, his glasses providing just enough of a glare that she couldn’t quite read his eyes, even though she had a feeling he had no such problem reading her.
And again, an inappropriate zing of…something surged through her. Crazy. She really did prefer a stronger, tougher, more seasoned man, someone who knew his way on a trail, who could climb a mountain, kayak a rapid, someone with a love of an adrenaline rush. Someone like…Keith.
And yet she didn’t experience that little frisson of heat when Keith looked at her…
Huh.
Jared was still smiling easily. “So you don’t think I look like the camping, hiking type.”
“I’m not here to judge you, just to guide you.”
“Come on, tell the truth.”
“Okay, no. Sorry. You don’t seem outdoorsy to me. But I still think you’re going to have a lot fun.”
Sipping his drink, he watched her from those intensely gripping hazel eyes. “One thing I’ve learned is that looks can be deceiving.”
And in maybe the most surprising thing of all, yet another thrill went through her, because suddenly, strangely, she hoped so.
THAT NIGHT, Jared Skye lay in his bed staring at his ceiling, thinking about what he’d done. A confirmed city rat, he’d taken a week off work, a rarity, to go on a trip. Not just any trip, but a camping trip, with rocks and bugs and no running water.
Definitely not the norm for him. In fact, he’d never slept outdoors, not once in his thirty-two years.
But if life had taught him anything lately, it was to go with the flow, and try the path less traveled. To seize whatever the day brought, especially if the day brought a slightly irritating, self-protective, sexy-as-hell guide leader into it.
This year he’d been given a second chance, a hell of a second chance, when he hadn’t died as he should have. As a result, he no longer waited for things to happen. He made them happen. And that meant when he saw something of interest, he did what it took to get it.
Lily Peterson interested him.
It wasn’t just a gotta-have-you naked interest either, though that had definitely been there, too. But a gotta-know-you-deeper interest.
With a woman his polar opposite.
It might seem completely illogical, this attraction, not to mention out of character, but since he no longer depended on logic to get him through the day, he didn’t care.
Nope, it was all about living to the fullest, logic not withstanding …
When he finally fell asleep, he dreamed—no surprise— of his trekking guide, with her vulnerable eyes, with the polite smile she wore to hide her thoughts, with her tough little body that he wanted arching and writhing beneath his…
No surprise then that he woke up hot and bothered, and he had to laugh at himself, even as he wished he could dive back into the dream…
Instead he got up. His first camping trip was going to be even more interesting than he’d thought.
LILY SAT straight up in bed, panting for breath and just a little bit sweaty.
She’d dreamed of being in a kayak, fighting another kayak for the best spot on the river. The best kayaker she knew was Keith, but it turned out not to be Keith out there with her, but a guy with impeccable dressing habits, and neat, short hair and designer glasses, a guy with a rather goofy, contagious grin and a rangy body that wasn’t sure or coordinated.
Jared Skye, still disturbing her.
She got up, showered away the aches and pains and lingering stiffness she’d never had before her forty-foot fall, telling herself better to feel pain than to be six feet under, feeling nothing at all.
She dressed and went to physical therapy, where she was laid flat as always by Eric, who’d missed his calling and should instead have been working for the government torturing war prisoners for information. She showered again, dressed again, and then shopped and packed for the trip, telling herself the butterflies in her stomach were hunger pains, not nerves.
But the nerves were there, quietly eating her alive.
After going over the topo maps, marking everywhere on the trail she wanted to hit, with alternate plans for unforeseen events such as one of the hikers not being able to get as far as she’d planned—or God forbid, herself—she drove to Outdoor Adventures to coordinate for the supply and canoe drops along the loop they’d be walking.
But instead of an assistant she got Keith himself, with his mischievous smile and teasing voice that brought her back. When they were done, he hugged her good-bye, letting his hands linger and his body press against her for just a beat longer than necessary.
And because it was what she thought she wanted, she let him.
“Maybe we should get a drink tonight,” he said against her hair. “And toast tomorrow’s trip.”
She wanted to want what he was offering, but suddenly she realized she’d spent her energy on second-and third-guessing herself and her ability to handle this trip, to lead an expedition into the wilderness…not to mention the doubts over her long-term goals, oh, and her ability to support herself.
Or to have a relationship…
She had nothing left.
“I’m leaving tonight,” she said, a decision she knew Keith wouldn’t question because most of the guides, and probably many of their guests, left the night before as well, staying at inns or hotels closer to the trailhead, three and a half hours away.
He looked disappointed, but let her go, and by late afternoon, she was making the drive from the bay area to the Sierras. Highway 80 was wide open, the July foliage and growth in full bloom on the hills. As soon as she hit the grade, she flicked off the air conditioner and opened the windows, inhaling deeply to get the scent of the mountains: sage and pine and everything else that felt so much more like home than any city.
She was doing the right thing. It felt like the right thing. Already, smiles were coming faster and easier than they had in too long. She took another deep breath and felt some of the terrible tension that had been with her begin to dissipate.
Feeling like the little engine that could, she kept repeating to herself I can do this, I can do this…
She arrived at the B&B just after dark, and got a surprise in the form of a tall, lean and lanky man sitting sprawled in a recliner in the reception area, sipping a drink.
Short, almost buzzed hair. Casual but elegant clothes. Easy I’m-comfortable-in-my-own-skin stance.
Jared Skye.
At the sight of her, he rose, tugging out his perpetual earpieces. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out an iPod and thumbed a switch, slipping it back into his pocket.
So much for leaving the electronics at home.
“Hey,” he said warmly, and the most peculiar thing happened.
She found herself smiling at him.
He smiled back, his eyes heating. “You staying here tonight, too?”
“Yes.” Okay, this was bad. She’d wanted to be alone, the last time she would be for four days. “But…”
Looking into her face, Jared laughed softly. “Look at you, ever so thrilled to see me.”
“I’m sorry,” she managed to find enough grace to say. “It’s…nothing personal.”
For some reason, that had his grin spreading. “Oh yeah, it is. But that’s okay.” He flashed that smile again, the one that was slightly crooked, the one that made her feel inexplicably feminine, and for some reason, also made her want to take off her clothes.
“Why don’t you join me,” he said. “I’ll get you a drink.”
“Uh…”
“Come on,” he said. “I promise not to ask you if I can wear open-toed sandals on the trip.” He laughed at the look on her face. “Jack and Michelle told me. It’s going to be an interesting trip, huh?”
“Very.”
He steered her to the couch, and though he surely saw her limp, he didn’t say a word.
But she had to. “About that handicap sticker,” she said. “It’s old. I don’t use it.”
He was quiet a moment while he sat. “As one who’s had his own sticker, I get the whole love/hate thing over it.”
She looked at him in surprise. He seemed perfectly healthy. His gaze met hers, dark, still warm but now filled with a whole host of memories, some painful, and in that moment, something happened. Something not physical, and not quite describable.
She didn’t understand. He looked like a professor, sitting there with those glasses, the khaki trousers, the white button down shirt. A sexy professor, she’d give him that. He was studying her in that disconcerting way he had, seeing far more than she meant him to. “You’re good now?”
“Yes.”
She nodded. “Well, you’re going to want to leave those pretty-boy clothes at home.”
He looked down at himself, then arched a brow. “Pretty-boy clothes?”
She just arched a brow back.
His eyes lit with good humor. “Pretty-boy clothes. And here I thought I was so smooth. Go figure.”
Damn, he made her want to laugh, too. “Well, they’re fine, if you want to ruin your expensive things…”
“It’s just money.”
“Spoken by a man who’s probably never had to do without.”
“Ah, there you go again. Judging a book by its cover.”
She opened her mouth, then slowly shut it. “You know, I think I’m going to bed before I put my foot in my mouth again.”
“Wait,” he said when she stood up.
“I’m sorry. I’m…not really fit for company.”
His gaze ran down the length of her, then settled on her face. “You look plenty fit to me.”
“Yeah.” If he only knew. “I should—”
“One drink. If I annoy you before you finish it, you can leave.” He slid a hand on her arm. “What do you say?”
His touch electrified, and she stared down at his fingers. “Um…” Wow.
“Now that’s interesting,” he murmured.
He was close enough that she could feel his body heat seep into her bones, and though he was touching her nowhere other than his hand on her arm, she felt surrounded by him.
Not to mention his scent—that intangible, male scent that was…yum.
What was happening here?
Slowly he lifted his other hand, settled it on her arm, too, and gently pulled her a little closer. His expression mirrored some of her own discomfort. “This isn’t the light and fluffy sort of attraction I’d told myself it was.”
“It’s nothing.”
A ghost of a smile curved his lips. “You don’t feel it.” He shook his head, laughed at himself. “Right. I should have figured that part.”
Within sharing-air distance as they were, he was close enough that she could see gold specks dancing in those hazel eyes, filled with disappointment now.
Damn. She’d have thought she’d feel this attraction for Keith, had meant to feel this for Keith, but the truth was, she hadn’t wanted to stare into Keith’s eyes, and she sure as hell hadn’t wanted to press her face to Keith’s throat and inhale deeply. Yeah, time to go. “Good night,” she said. “I’ll see you at the trailhead. In jeans, I hope.”
No smile tugged at his mouth this time. “’Night,” he said, and dropped his hands from her.
With a nod, she turned away and headed for the stairs, and then realized something. She’d come here to find herself, to find some semblance of the person she’d been.
But that person she’d once been would have never shied from anything. At that thought, she stopped. “Jared.”
“Yeah?”
“I…”
“You…”
“Feel it.” She shook her head. “I just don’t want to.”
“Huh. Have to admit, I’m not sorry.” His gaze lit with something that looked like both heat and laughter as he came toward her.
She stood her ground, her nose quivering because God, he smelled good, he smelled heavenly, and she was sniffing at him. “I really do have to go. I have to go to my room, I need to look over some maps and—” And think about you…
“I’m sure you’ve planned out this trip to the nth degree.” He snagged her hand. “You deserve a night to relax before four days of work.”
Relax? She’d been doing nothing but lying around healing for months, and if she hadn’t managed to relax by now, it wasn’t going to happen. In fact, if she stayed down here with him, with his hand downloading little electric currents of lust into hers, she knew she’d start sniffing him again, and then…who knew. “I really…” She trailed off when he waited patiently. “I really have to go.”
“All work and no play.” He laughed softly when she frowned. “I wouldn’t have guessed that about you. Come on, Lily. What’s your poison?”
“Excuse me?”
“What would you like to drink?”
“You don’t have to serve me.”
“How about, I want to?” He was close again, and she looked away because, oh boy, just looking at him smile was like looking at an unopened bag of barbecue potato chips—both irresistible and extremely bad for her.
Very bad.
“Wine?” he asked, looking at ease, looking confident, looking so freaking sexy it took her breath. “Beer? Soda? Painkiller?”
“Um, what?”
“The limp. You must be in some pain.”
“Oh. That.” The reminder slammed home all of her fears about this trip. “It’s nothing. A beer, I’ll take a beer.” She took a step back, came up against the wall with a crash. “I’ll take it to go.”
“Lily—”
“No.” She looked into his disconcertingly gorgeous eyes, and took a big step back—thankfully missing the wall this time—and an even bigger mental step. “Really. I’m sorry, I need to…” Get my bearings. “Go.”
She accepted the beer he bought her, thanked him, and ran upstairs, where she put herself to bed.
Of course she dreamed of him again. That was getting extremely unsettling, she told herself at 3:00 a.m. after waking up sweaty, hot and bothered for the second night in a row. Why did her attraction to him bother her so much she wondered.
Because she’d expected it to be Keith?
Yeah, that. She punched her pillow, flopped over, and told herself to dream about something more worth her time—such as the fact she had four great days ahead of her.
Please God, let them be great.
She gave her pillow one more punch for emphasis, and then closed her eyes. Mountains, she told herself. Think of the mountains, the wild animals…
Only problem, her brain didn’t obey, not one little bit. This time she dreamed about not taking her beer to go, but sitting downstairs with Jared, then making her way to his room, and then…
Oh boy, and then.
She should have taken Keith up on his offer for a drink with whatever else that might have entailed. It would have been easy, familiar, fast…and done.
Certainly if she had, she’d at least be sated by now.
And not still thinking, wondering, yearning about Jared.
3
JUST PAST DAWN, Lily stood at the trailhead at the basin of Balsam Peak and stared up at the vista of glory around her.
Doubt was killing her but she tried to swallow it. She could do this.
She could.
The summer hadn’t been a particularly dry one, and as a result, the green mountains seemed to pulse with life. The Sierras didn’t have a fancy name, or a photogenic centerpiece like other mountain ranges did, but man oh man, it was, in her opinion, one of the most fascinating combinations of jaw-dropping beauty and unique geology on this side of the Great Divide.
Being here, breathing in the thin but crisp, clean air, she felt great, and even greater when she realized she was way ahead of schedule.
That was old habit, being prepared beyond any shadow of a doubt. She credited that slight anal tendency in an otherwise carefree, wanderlust existence to the two years she’d spent as a Girl Scout as a young girl, when she’d been directionless and desperate to please. Her mother had worked around the clock, her father had been living in Europe somewhere, which had left her alone much of the time.
Too much of the time.
But she’d grown up fine. Or so she told herself. She was her own woman who didn’t need approval from anyone. Knowing it, she opened the tailgate on her truck, and also the shell, and began checking through the supplies she’d brought, dividing it into piles that she could help her guests load into their packs as well as her own.
“Looks heavy.”
Craning her neck, her gaze collided with Jared’s. “Not too heavy.”
He’d lost the business wear but was no less put together in his expensive-looking jeans and polo shirt. He wore hiking boots, which she sincerely hoped weren’t new, even though they looked it. His designer sunglasses were firmly in place. “Need any help?” he asked.
“Not yet, thanks.”
“How did I know you’d say that?” He gestured to the goods. “Looks like a lot of stuff to carry.”
“If you’re not up for it, you could always try a different type of vacation. Say a dude ranch.”
Uninsulted, he let out a soft laugh, then shoved his sunglasses to the top of his head, revealing that mesmerizing hazel gaze as he slid his hands in his pocket. He pulled out a folded piece of paper, stared down at it, then slid it back into his pocket.
“What’s that?” she asked.
“A list.”
She waited for more, but he offered nothing. “A reminder to pick up your dry-cleaning?”
He smiled. “No.”
“Ah. A reminder to have your housekeeper pick up your dry-cleaning.”
His smile spread. “You think I’m going to be a PITA.”
“PITA?”
“Pain in the ass. Your ass.”
Not exactly. She thought he was going to be a distraction. A sexy one. “Caught me.” She went back to separating the supplies into piles, but he didn’t take the hint and leave.
“It bugs you,” he said. “Our attraction.”
“No, it doesn’t.”
He just smiled a little knowingly, and she let out a sound that she hoped managed to convey her annoyance as she went back to her work.
Okay, so despite his pretty-boy appearance, he wasn’t prissy, or afraid of confrontation. Damn it. It didn’t help that he was right.
Their attraction bugged the hell out of her.
Fine. She’d get her revenge soon enough, when she planned to see him plenty rumpled, wrinkled and pushed outside his comfort zone. “One thing’s for sure,” she said. “You’re going to get those boots dirty.”
He looked down. “I’m not going to melt with a little dirt.”
“Okay.”
He lifted his head, his eyes locked on hers. Normally she appreciated direct eye contact, but with him, the look went deeper than casual, and pushed her from her comfort zone.
“You don’t believe me,” he said.
She lifted a shoulder, and looked away because she had the uncomfortable feeling he saw far more than she allowed anyone to see. “It’s your job to have a good time,” she said. “It’s my job to make sure you get that good time. I’ll do my job.”
“And I’ll do mine,” he promised. “I signed up for this trip willingly, Lily.” He gestured with his chin toward the mountains. “I want to do this.”
“Well, then let’s get the show on the road. Oh, and though there’s no rain or snow in the forecast—”
“Snow? In July?”
“It happens. Just make sure you packed everything on the list. Including raingear.”
“Got it.”
“And spray yourself with insect repellent. You got stuff with deet?”
“Yes, ma’am, just like the list said.”
She ignored the gentle sarcasm. “It should be plenty dry, but the mosquitoes don’t seem to care one way or another. They’re vicious. Trust me, you’ll get bites everywhere.”
“Everywhere?” He asked this evenly but the humor was still swimming in his gaze, and also that unsettling heat.
Damn, he had quite the sense of humor. She loved a sense of humor. “Bites in certain places aren’t funny,” she said in the uppiest voice she could muster.
He stopped fighting his grin and let it fly.
Ah, man, he was something to look at, but she rolled her eyes and turned back to the truck. “Fine. But when you’re walking bowlegged because your bites are chafing, I’ll be getting the last laugh.”
“I’ll remember that,” he promised.
“Good.” She put her potion of the supplies into her pack, and it was a moment before she looked up again. When she did, Jared had moved back to his shiny, pretty car and was messing with something in his pack.
She let out a breath and told herself to concentrate on her fears and doubts. That should keep her nicely occupied.
But she took another peek. He was still fiddling with his stuff, and definitely not taking peeks at her. Good. Great. She went back to work, tossing the marshmallows into the pile. Which reminded her she needed to check the chocolate stash. If there was ever a trip that required extra loads of chocolate, this was it.
A truck with the Outdoor Adventures logo on the sides pulled into the dirt lot. The window went down. “Hey, gorgeous.”
In shock, she stared, waiting for the burst of happy excitement. “Keith?”
He hopped out of the truck and spread his arms wide, looking tanned, fit and mischievous. “In the flesh.”
“What are you doing here?”
He wore cargo shorts and a T-shirt with the logo on a pec, and he looked ready to guide. “You know I like to see a trip off.”
She took in his rugged features, his slight smile, his heated eyes, and knew he wasn’t here just for that. Once upon a time her sun had risen and set on him, a man ten years her senior and a hundred years older in so many other ways. He’d been the first strong male influence in her life, and for that alone, her heart warmed. “You were checking on me.”
He shifted closer and put his hand on her shoulder as he peered past her to the food and supplies she was dividing up. “Just making sure you’re okay. Should be a fairly easy trip.” He gently squeezed. “You sure you’re up for it?”
Why oh why wasn’t she getting wobbly knees? Why weren’t her nipples going happy? “I’m sure.” Liar, liar,pants on fire.
“So tough, like old times.”
She wished.
He touched her cheek and grinned, and she was reminded, vividly, of how, in the past, that grin would have melted her clothes right off. As if he was remembering the same thing, he shifted even closer. “Feels like old times.” Nudging her body with his, he moved her around the side of his truck, where they were now out of view of anyone driving into the parking lot. They were also out of view of the only other car, Jared’s Lexus.
Lily looked into Keith’s smiling eyes, trying like hell to feel it, to feel the heat. “You’re in my space.”
“But it’s such a nice space.” They were toe to toe. He was only a few inches taller than her. It used to be she’d loved that, loved the way they’d lined up.
Everywhere…
Now his close proximity felt a little bit off, especially when compared to another man’s recent close proximity—Jared’s. She’d wanted to jump Jared’s bones, which still made no sense. “Keith—”
“Hush a second.” Cupping her face, he tilted it up and stared into her eyes. “I’m trying to see something.”
“See what?”
“If it’s still there.”
“If what—”
“Shut up a sec, Lil.” And he touched his mouth to hers.
She went very still. Not because she couldn’t move away, but because she wanted to see, too. Please turnme on…
But no, nothing. Damn it. She cleared her mind and tried again, because surely it would come.
Keith slanted his head for better access, and touched his tongue to hers.
No fireworks.
No molten hot lava flowing through her veins instead of blood.
What was that about?
But deep down, she knew. It was about Jared, because he was the one she wanted. Oh, boy.
Keith lifted his head, staring sleepy-eyed down at her mouth. “That’s how I should have greeted you yesterday.” He stroked his thumb over her lip and smiled. “Have a safe journey, Lil.”
And then he got back into his truck.
Blowing out a breath, she turned, and…
And her gaze locked with Jared’s.
He’d moved around the front of her truck, raingear in his hands. Clearly he’d come to show her he was prepared, and had caught more than she’d intended him to.
Now he stood there watching her with an inscrutable gaze.
Squirming, she shoved her topo maps into her pack. She had the route all marked, had everything planned, and yet suddenly, she felt…lost.
As a woman who’d always prided herself on knowing who and where she was, she hated the feeling.
When would she find herself, damn it?
Jared turned away, and without another word, walked back to his car. She swallowed the urge to apologize. Damn it, she had nothing to apologize for.
Nothing at all.
WITHIN the next twenty minutes, the rest of the group arrived. Jack and Michelle came in a black Hummer driven by her daddy’s chauffeur. When they got out and the car drove off, Michelle stared after it longingly.
“It’s going to be fun,” Jack assured her.
“I’d rather be having fun in Bali.”
Jack sighed.
Rock showed up next, in a Jeep, and right after that Rose arrived in a taxi.
How she’d gotten a taxi up here, Lily had no idea, but Rose got out of the car, tossed the driver some cash, blew him air kisses, then straightened out her perfectly fitted, and possibly painted-on Daisy Duke shorts and barely-there camisole.
She did have on hiking boots, which she gleefully showed off to Lily by lifting a leg and waggling her foot. “Cute, huh? I got a deal.”
Her Daisy Dukes slid up an inch, to illegal heights really, revealing cheek, and quite possibly more to anyone off to the side of her.
Rock, in the exact right position off to the side of her, in the middle of an unfortunate sip of water, choked.
Rose smiled at him. “You okay, sugar?”
Rock choked some more, and Rose stroked a hand up and down his back, which didn’t seem to help.
Eyes watering, gasping, he nodded that he was going to live and Rose stopped touching him.
Lily sighed. “Rose, you’re going to want to change those shorts.”
Rock, still hardly able to talk, shook his head. “Ah, don’t do that.”
Lily thought of the cliff they’d be walking along in less than an hour, and pictured the guys watching Rose’s ass instead of the trail, then falling to their certain deaths. “Well…” How to be diplomatic here? “Those shorts aren’t going to be comfortable.”
“Honey, these are as comfortable as anything I’ve got.”
Wasn’t that just perfect?
Michelle came close. She slipped into a sunshine-bright yellow rain jacket that required sunglasses just to look at. “Which direction are we traveling in?” she asked anxiously.
“It’s not going to rain, at least not today,” Lily assured her. “You don’t have to wear—”
“She’s never camped before,” Jack said. “She’s nervous.”
So that made two of them, Lily thought.
“Which direction?” Michelle asked again.
“It’s going to change quite a bit out on the trail,” Lily told her.
Michelle shook her head, her pretty blonde hair artfully layered about her face. “Can’t you estimate? I want to leave a note here at the trailhead, so that if we get lost—”
“I can promise you that won’t happen if you stick with me,” Lily said. “I know this trail—”
“Which direction?” Michelle’s voice came out high-pitched and just a little panicked.
Jared slid a palm-held unit out of his pocket and thumbed a few buttons. “North by northwest,” he said, and showed Michelle the digital compass he’d pulled up. “See?”
Everyone leaned in to see the new toy, oohing and aahing, and Lily sighed again. “I thought the digital stuff was going to stay at home.”
He looked right at her, for once his eyes not quite as warm—reminding her that he’d witnessed Keith’s kiss— and without a word slid the unit back into his pocket.
Something went through Lily at that. Her own regret? Yeah, probably. But she had plenty of other stuff to worry about. “If everyone could bring their packs,” she said. “I have the supplies divvied up for you to put away.”
JACK LIFTED Michelle’s pack for her, and shouldn’t have been surprised to find it weighed more than his wife. “Damn, Shell. What did you put in here, rocks?”
She sent him a pout over her shoulder that he recognized well as he buckled her in. “It’s way too heavy for me.”
“Uh-huh,” he agreed. “I told you that you packed too much.”
“Don’t start in on me. You want to please my daddy and his money as much as I do.”
Ah, back to their biggest bone of contention, he thought with a sigh—which was that it wasn’t just him and her in this marriage, but him, her and her daddy.
He loved Michelle, loved her more than he loved any other thing on this planet, but sometimes she drove him absolutely insane.
How could someone so smart be so incredibly dense? “I could care less about his money,” he said patiently, for what had to be the bazillionth time in their one-year marriage.
“Right.”
Jack shook his head. What made him think he could ever win this argument? He was coming to understand that what he’d heard was true—sometimes love just wasn’t enough. “At least take out the ten pounds of makeup and hair products.”
“I need it.”
“You don’t.”
“My hair fuzzes at this altitude.”
He shook his head. She was gorgeous, at any altitude. “So braid it.”
“Jack.”
He groaned and tossed up his hands in defeat. “Might as well call back our driver, you’ll be done by noon.”
She looked horrified. “You know we can’t back out. Daddy’ll cut us off.”
Right. And in her mind, that would be a fate worse than death. Heaven forbid they make this work like the rest of the world—on their own. God, she infuriated him.
But she also loved him as no one else ever had, and for that alone, he intended to give this all he had. “Look, just because your father is richer than sin, doesn’t mean he can make us—”
“He’s not making us. He just said that if we wanted to keep spending his money, we had to do this. He thinks we need the togetherness.”
“He’s making us,” Jack said flatly, and turned his back on her to tend to his own pack, frustrated and…sad. Damn sad, because as much as he didn’t want to believe it, he was afraid they—he—couldn’t fix this enough to make it work.
LILY WAS HANDING OUT the supplies for everyone’s packs when Michelle came up to her, still wearing her sunshine -yellow rain jacket. “Um…I don’t have extra room.”
Everyone had read the brochures. They’d been to the meeting, where they’d gone over the particulars of the trip in minute detail, including the fact they’d be helping carry the supplies. “Your portion isn’t more than a few extra pounds—”
“But my pack’s already too heavy.”
“Damn right, it is,” Jack said dryly, then lifted his hands when Michelle glared at him. “Hey, you needed your makeup and hair stuff, right?”
Michelle let out a huff and opened her pack. “Fine. Bye-bye hair products. But if I look like a Bohemian in a day, you all have no one but yourselves to blame.”
“We’ll keep that in mind,” Jack told her and winked at Lily.
Michelle took the supplies from Lily. “This doesn’t look like enough food for four days.”
“We’ll be getting two drops with additional supplies, so we don’t have to carry it all right now. Just your own things.”
“Right.” Michelle looked at her pack. “That’s going to be incredibly taxing.”
Jack let out a huffing laugh. “For once, baby, we’re in total agreement.”
Yeah, Lily thought, she was going to have her hands full with this group. So far, she had a couple clearly on the outs, a woman on the prowl, and a man who was going to be said woman’s lunch.
Jared, wearing his pack, moved into her line of vision, an enigmatic man of few words with a set of eyes that made her both yearn and want to run for the hills.
And a man she wanted for lunch.
“Lily, honey?” This from Rose. “I think you’re right about the shorts. I’m going to change.” She leaned in and whispered, “Wedgie City.” Straightening, she held up two choices; a denim mini-skirt, or a pair of black Spandex short shorts. “Which would you suggest?”
Lily stared at them. “Uh…I really couldn’t say—”
“No problem, I’ll wear one today, and one tomorrow.” Twirling away, she spared a moment to wink at Rock.
Rock, looking a little dazzled, shifted closer to Lily. “I could take on some extra weight for anyone who can’t handle it—”
“That’s very generous—”
“For a favor.”
Lily looked at him. “Which is?”
“My tent goes next to hers.” He nodded toward Rose and grinned, and Lily had to laugh.
“That’s not my decision,” she said. “It’s between you and her.”
“Hopefully, it’ll be my prize for making it through the day.”
She looked him over in surprise. So she wasn’t the only one nearly paralyzed with doubt. “Why wouldn’t you make it through the day? You’re the fittest one here.”
“Yes, but…” He grimaced, and spoke even more softly so no one could hear. “I’m indoor-fit, you know? Gym-rat fit. I’ve never spent much time outdoors, and I’ve certainly never spent four days straight walking through the woods.”
“You put down on your application that you’ve camped.”
Guilt flashed over his features. “Uh, yeah. I’ve camped. In my bathtub with G. I. Joe, when I was seven.”
“Oh boy.” Lily rubbed her forehead while Rock winced.
“Yeah, sorry about that,” he said. “So maybe you’d better tell me now.” He looked adorably nervous, this big hunk who’d camped with action figures. “Is this going to be too hard for me?”
“Are you kidding?” Lily gestured to Rose and Michelle. “I’m going to go out on a limb here and predict you’re still way ahead of the game.”
He flashed another grin. “Thanks.”
Lily moved to the front of the group, ready to go, but before she could say so, Michelle sidled close once again. “I’ve got to talk to you,” she said, sounding tearful. “I really don’t think I can carry everything…”
“You could lose any of the five pairs of shoes you’re toting,” Jack suggested.
“But I brought one pair for each day, and then an extra. I’m not repeating, Jack.”
“Tell you what,” Lily said. “You lose the shoes, and I’ll divide up your portion of the food and supplies between myself, Jack and Rock, who generously offered to help.”
Rose looked at Rock, shooting him a sweet smile.
Rock blushed.
“Great,” Jack muttered. “I get extra, and Rock gets lucky.”
“Oh, come on, Jack,” Michelle said. “Just help me here. After all, you like daddy’s money as much as I do.”
Jack shook his head. “There’s no arguing with you.”
They moved aside to fix her pack.
Jared shifted next to Lily, and she looked at him, already tired. “You have a request, favor or demand, too?” she asked in that voice she used sometimes, the one that said, Hurry because she was a little too busy for this.
But damn it, she didn’t want to discuss anything, especially not the kiss between her and Keith, or the fact that she wished it had been with Jared.
She really wished that.
He just arched an eyebrow.
At that, she had to let out a careful breath and remind herself that he couldn’t read her thoughts. “Is that a yes or no?”
He shook his head, looking quite comfortable in his own skin. “Nothing at the moment, thanks.”
“Uh-huh. But you’re reserving the right to make a later demand, is that it?”
His mouth curved, and he let their gazes stay locked for just a beat or so past what was comfortable.
Most definitely, he was thinking about the kiss.
And maybe, just maybe, he was thinking he’d rather it had been him, too.
He let her absorb that a moment, then turned away.
Lily let out another careful breath. Oh yeah, it was definitely going to be a hell of a trip.
4
AS LILY CHECKED and rechecked each person’s pack and straps, Jared moved to the front, just next to the trail-head sign. With some amusement, he watched his group’s fearless leader take control of the trip with clear-cut and concise directions and expectations for her guests, her fawn-colored hair pulled in a single braid that fell between her shoulder blades.
He loved how she looked, wearing cargo shorts low on the hips, fitted, but with enough pockets to outfit a third-world country, and two tank tops layered over each other, the top one with Outdoor Adventures’ logo over a breast. She was the picture of efficiency and completely in charge.
She did like to be in charge, his Lily.
He understood the need. In his life, which until recently had been consumed with work, he’d always been in charge, as CEO of an international, billion-dollar corporation that created and built parts for all things digital.
Until that control had been taken from him.
“Any last questions?” Lily asked, coming up next to him.
“Yeah.” He slid on his sunglasses and smiled. “Are you going to hurt me?”
She glanced at Michelle, flapping her lips at her husband, at Rock tying and retying his boots, at Rose applying lip gloss, and she sighed. “Somehow, I don’t think you’re going to be the one hurting.”
This close, he could see that there was something in her eyes, that light of vulnerability he’d seen last night, and also…nerves. “But you are,” he said. “Hurting.”
She looked away. “I’m fine.”
Yeah, she was pretty damn fine. But no matter what she said, she’d been hurt—the limp attested to that— and she wasn’t all better yet. He felt a hard tug of empathy, because he knew what it was like to want to get better, to try to prove everything was normal when it wasn’t. Yeah, he’d been there, done that and bought the T-shirt.
They began to walk, Lily in the lead. Her pack covered much of her from view. There was a light morning breeze which had loosened some silky strands from her braid. They flew about her head like a halo, which he imagined would piss her off but he liked it. He could see her ass, which was sweet, and her legs churning up the path ahead of him, although a bit unevenly, as if she had something to prove.
He thought maybe she did.
They all followed beneath a nicely warming morning sun touching down on the jagged peaks all around them, the rays gilding the treetops. Jared looked up and felt surrounded by them, a huge awe-inspiring circle of rocky, remote mountains he hoped to know a lot more about before he got back.
“This region is one of the most geologically young and tectonically active in North America,” Lily said, looking in charge of her world as she turned to face them, walking backwards.
Their eyes met and Jared felt the bolt he’d experienced the first time he’d seen her. Hell, every time he saw her. At first, it had been a purely physical sort of bolt, and there was still plenty of that, but somehow also more.
Much more.
Which suited him just fine. It’d been a very long time since he’d felt such a punch of attraction. Granted, he’d had other things on his mind—like surviving…
But he was past that now, and living life to its fullest, going after everything he wanted.
He wanted her.
Or he had before she’d kissed her boss…
“Are there volcanoes?” Michelle asked Lily, sounding nervous.
“Not here,” Lily assured her. “Though this mountain system does straddle several of the earth’s moving plates, huge forces that continuously build this sweeping arc of mountains—see how rugged and craggy the peaks are? It means they’re still very young, comparatively. Just babies, really.”
“Pretty big babies,” Jack said beneath his breath, making his wife laugh breathlessly in agreement.
“Were there dinosaurs here?” Rose asked.
“Oh, yes,” Lily said. “Back in the day.”
“The Mesozoic Era,” Jared offered, then smiled when Lily looked at him, clearly startled at his knowledge.
“I’m impressed,” she said. “What else do you know about this area?”
“Other than there are big bears and that I shouldn’t feed them? Not much.”
Michelle scooted closer to Jack, a bright yellow spot of sunshine in her raingear. “Bears?”
“Don’t worry,” Lily said. “No one’s going to be bear bait on this trip.”
“So how high are these babies anyway?” Jack asked, pointing to the highest peak ahead.
“Nearly fifteen thousand feet at the top.”
“That’s like, three miles high,” Rock said, with a low whistle. “Man, we’re going to be huffing and puffing.”
They were already huffing and puffing. Jared sure as hell was. But the exercise felt good. Actually, it felt amazing, especially after so many months of being able to do so little. The air held a silence that he never heard in the city, and that felt good, too. Not having to think, work…
Gradually, the distance between the group members widened as they moved up the trail that took them to breathtaking heights, along stark ridges and drop-away cliffs.
He kept up with Lily with surprising effort. “You’re looking pleased with yourself,” she said, breaking a long silence.
“I am pleased,” he said. “To be here.”
She smiled, a real one, he realized with some pleasure, and it lit up her entire face. “I know. Me, too. I’d— You know what? Never mind.”
“No, what?”
“I’d worried that I wouldn’t be able to hold up,” she admitted.
He nodded, knowing that was quite a confession for her. “You and me both.”
She smiled at him, and it was a beautiful thing.
“It’s such a perfect day for this,” she said. “Not too hot, not too cold.”
“I’m definitely just right.”
She looked him over, and bit her lip.
“Go ahead,” he said on a laugh. “Mention the clothes.”
“Okay, so you had the right clothes after all.”
She was genuinely amused, and he liked the look on her, very much. She was naturally fair-skinned, which meant she had an adorable smattering of light freckles over her high cheekbones and nose, though he doubted she’d appreciate the word adorable. Her eyes, so light brown they looked like crystal-clear amber, or a very expensive whiskey, sparkled. “Are the jeans brand spanking new?” she asked.
“I’ll have you know, I’ve owned these for years.”
She fingered his crisp T-shirt, worn beneath an open long-sleeved blue chambray shirt. “You ironed this.”
“No.” But probably his housekeeper had. “Maybe.”
She laughed and eyed his hiking boots. “Those aren’t—”
“Not new. They’re broken in, I promise.” He grinned at her inspection. “Let’s hear it. Any complaints?”
She took her gaze on a tour along his body. Did those eyes heat as she brought them back up to his, or was that his hopeful imagination?
“No complaints,” she finally said, sounding just a little breathless now.
Not his imagination…
The words dissipated any last chill from the morning air, that was for damn sure. He might have been sick this last year, very sick, but apparently certain things, like a healthy lust, never left a man.
Thank God.
That’s when the digital ring of a cell phone pierced the air.
His.
“Oh, no, you didn’t,” she said.
“Sorry.” He pulled the cell out of his pocket, eyed the ID, then sighed as he flipped the phone open. “Hey, Candace.”
“Hey right back atcha,” his fearless and irreplaceable assistant said cheerfully. “Just calling to say it’s not too late to come to your senses. I could have a helicopter there to get you in half an hour.”
“I’m doing this.”
She sighed. “Thought you’d say that. All righty then, have a safe trip. Oh, and don’t get bitten by a rattlesnake. We did not nearly lose you this year to watch you go down so easily.”
“I’ll stay away from snakes, I promise.”
Lily’s pretty eyes were narrowed when he shut the phone. “How did you get service up here?”
“Satellite.”
“No cell phones on this trek.”
“Is that a hard and fast rule?”
“It’s just that you’re paying me a lot of money to take you away from all that. If you’d wanted to talk to the girlfriend, you should have just brought her with.”
“Assistant, not girlfriend.”
“Oh.”
Was that just a smidgen of relief on her face, he wondered, or his own healthy imagination? “Don’t worry, Lily. I’m ready to be taken away.”
She looked at him for a long moment, then back at the others, who’d slowed to their own various paces. He knew she was going to move away from him and go check on each of them in turn, that he was nothing special to her, but he wanted to be. “I’m curious. Why do you guide?”
“Uh…” she looked back at him, distracted. “Because they pay me?”
“I doubt it pays that well, which means you must really love it.” He looked around at the towering trees, the mountains, the sky. “I admit, it’s beautiful, but you probably end up dealing with a lot of spoiled people.”
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