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A Father in the Making
Carolyne Aarsen
Family At LastNate Lyster and Mia Verbeek are in perfect agreement–letting someone new into your life is much too risky. Mom to four kids, Mia can't let just anyone get close, while wandering cowboy Nate learned young that trusting another means chancing heartbreak. But when a fire turns Mia's life upside down, Nate is the only one who can get through to her traumatized son. Nate fits into Mia's family perfectly, and they soon realize that a loving family is what they both want. Can they put the hurts of their pasts behind them…for a chance at a perfect love?Hearts of Hartley Creek: In this small town, love is just around the corner


Family At Last
Nate Lyster and Mia Verbeek are in perfect agreement—letting someone new into your life is much too risky. Mom to four kids, Mia can’t let just anyone get close, while wandering cowboy Nate learned young that trusting another means chancing heartbreak. But when a fire turns Mia’s life upside down, Nate is the only one who can get through to her traumatized son. Nate fits into Mia’s family perfectly, and they soon realize that a loving family is what they both want. Can they put the hurts of their pasts behind them…for a chance at a perfect love?

Hearts of Hartley Creek: In this small town, love is just around the corner
“Nice to meet you, Mia,” he said.
Mia let Nate take her hand. When he let go, she felt an unexpected moment of loss.
“Nice to meet you, too,” she replied as his smile deepened.
“So you own the flower store,” he said, dropping his cowboy hat back on his head. “That’s ambitious,” he continued.
“It definitely keeps me busy.”
For this brief moment, Mia didn’t feel like a mommy weighed down with obligations. She returned his smile.
Just then her friend Sophie arrived, pushing the buggy, wails emanating from it. “I think one of your little girls is hungry,” she said to Mia.
Mia caught Nate frowning at her.
“Those are your kids?” he asked. “Sorry, I didn’t know you were—”
“A mom?” Mia couldn’t stop the hint of annoyance entering her voice. “It gets worse. There’s two more of these at home,” she said.
Nate wasn’t the first man put off by her brood.
He was, however, the first man she’d felt any attraction to in a long, long time.
CAROLYNE AARSEN
and her husband, Richard, live on a small ranch in northern Alberta, where they have raised four children and numerous foster children, and are still raising cattle. Carolyne crafts her stories in an office with a large west-facing window, through which she can watch the changing seasons while struggling to make her words obey.
A Father in the Making
Carolyne Aarsen


www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.
—Isaiah 43:18
For Lorna Strydhorst, faithful reader and friend.
Contents
Chapter One (#ufbf9ca6c-f0fe-5332-81be-e815a9880f38)
Chapter Two (#uc65ce12b-fd27-567d-b5d1-83054f3d67fd)
Chapter Three (#u1429f8a7-40e9-5ccc-b117-9fa2293e11c0)
Chapter Four (#u991aba8d-bed9-59f8-abc9-27b0a8280f0e)
Chapter Five (#u685a937a-e4e2-5242-9680-e35bbbe8ba35)
Chapter Six (#u9e46793d-f185-57ee-a5d5-b07ea46522b8)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fifteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Epilogue (#litres_trial_promo)
Dear Reader (#litres_trial_promo)
Questions for Discussion (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter One
“Go to sleep. Please go back to sleep,” Mia pleaded as she dragged the stroller holding her twin toddlers backward into the bookstore. Jennifer had been fussing for the past twenty minutes. She couldn’t be hungry. Mia had given both baby girls and her two sons a good supper before heading out the door into the cool of the late-fall evening. A better supper than she managed to wolf down before her babysitter, Angie, showed up. Though Angie wasn’t her regular babysitter, she had offered to take the two boys and the twins. Mia took care of four children all the time, but she didn’t feel right doing that to a temporary babysitter so she had taken the twins with her.
Fatigue dragged at her, and for a moment Mia entertained the idea of skipping the bookstore. However, she had promised Josh and Nico she would get the books. And ever since her husband had left her pregnant with twins and two preschool sons, Mia was firm on keeping promises to Josh and Nico.
As Jennifer’s whimpers turned into a cry of protest, Mia fished a pacifier out of the overstuffed diaper bag dangling from the handles of the stroller. She wiped the lint off and eased the pacifier into Jennifer’s mouth. Her daughter resisted a moment and then the pacifier began bouncing as the baby eagerly sucked on it.
Really? Shouldn’t one-year-olds be weaned off pacifiers by now?
Mia closed off the scolding voice in her head—Other Mother, the annoying amalgamation of every parenting article she had ever read, with a pinch of her perfect sister thrown in.
“Hey, my dear girl, shall I take the twins around the store while you shop?”
Sophie Brouwer smiled at Mia over the top of the stroller, her bright blue eyes surrounded by a network of friendly wrinkles. She wore her usual velour jogging suit today in a shade of bubblegum-pink that no female over ten should wear. And Sophie was easily six decades past that.
“I’ll be okay,” was Mia’s automatic reply.
Sophie shook her head and nudged Mia aside. “Don’t be so independent.” Sophie grasped the handles of the stroller. “You go talk to your friend.”
Then she pushed the stroller behind a shelf of books, leaving Mia no choice but to go to Evangeline.
Her friend was crouched down on the floor behind the counter, her long skirt puddling around her as she sorted through a box of books. Evangeline straightened as she saw Mia and pushed her long hair back from her face with a smile. “Hey, girl. Where’re the kids?”
“Angie is taking care of the boys and Sophie just kidnapped the twins.”
“You want a cup of coffee before I get your books?” Evangeline asked, waving a delicate hand toward the back of the store, her diamond engagement ring refracting the overhead light.
Mia’s mouth watered, and for a moment she allowed a “maybe” to test her resolve.
“Only if it’s quick,” she said, keeping her voice firm as if to convince herself as much as her friend. “I have to catch Mr. Truscott before he closes up his law office for the night.”
“What about?”
Mia sighed. “The usual. Support payments from Al, who’s disappeared off the radar again. And after that I have to get groceries and pick up my van from the mechanic.” She fought down the usual panic that hovered over her every day. Too much to do and not enough time to get it all done. “Hey, have you heard from Renee and Zach today? My phone’s been wonky.”
“I got a note from Renee this morning. I can’t believe she’s texting us on her honeymoon,” Evangeline said as she walked to the room in the back that doubled as a storage room and meeting place for the book club that Evangeline hosted every other week. “And why is Angie babysitting for you? What happened to Blythe, your usual babysitter?”
“Blythe had some hot date tonight. Lucky her.” Mia leaned against the doorway as Evangeline sorted through the books she had ordered for other customers.
“Hey, someday your prince will come,” Evangeline said.
“I can’t afford to let a prince into my children’s lives and I have no energy or time for romance. This morning I was so tired I punched my passcode for my bank account into my microwave.”
Evangeline gave her a sympathetic look as the jangling of the bell above the entrance announced more customers.
Then Mia heard the murmur of male voices in the store behind them. “I think Denny’s here,” Evangeline said, looking past Mia with such pleasure Mia couldn’t stop a faint twinge of envy.
They walked out of the room just as Sophie Brouwer walked past them, pushing the stroller toward the two men standing by the till. One Mia recognized as Denny, Evangeline’s fiancé. The other man was unfamiliar. He wore a cowboy hat like Denny, but his had a feather in the band. His twill shirt was torn at the elbow and accompanied by worn blue jeans and scuffed cowboy boots. As Sophie passed them, the unfamiliar man crouched down, reached out and took Jennifer’s finger.
“Hey, you two cuties,” Mia heard him say with a laugh as Jennifer gurgled and Grace, awake now, batted at his cowboy hat. “Easy on the hat,” he said, letting Grace grab his other hand. “It’s been through enough.”
Denny grinned at the girls, but walked around the stroller to Evangeline and gave her a quick kiss.
“Looks like Nate is in love again,” he said with a laugh as he looked from Mia to the man playing with her twins.
The man Mia assumed was Nate stood, still grinning down at the girls. His brown hair spilled across his broad forehead from beneath the brim of his cowboy hat, giving him a casual look. His hazel eyes had a fan of wrinkles at the corners. The eyes of a man who worked outside, squinting against the sun. His hands were tucked in the pockets of his jeans, his thumbs resting on a wide buckle that Mia assumed had, at one time, been a prize in a rodeo. His rolled-up shirtsleeves revealed muscular forearms.
An appealing package, she thought, unconsciously tucking a stray strand of short hair behind her ear.
“They’re cute as buttons,” Nate said, glancing from the girls back to Mia as Sophie pushed the stroller away, obviously happy to keep watching them. Mia had to get going, too, but she found herself unwilling to leave. Especially with this attractive man giving her a steady look and a flirty smile.
“Evangeline, look who came rolling into town this morning. My little brother, Nate.” Denny laid a hand on the handsome man’s shoulder, solving the temporary mystery. Mia had heard bits and pieces about Nate, Denny’s foster brother. She knew he trained and rode cutting horses in competitions. A loner who worked at various ranches over the winter and was on the road all summer following the cutting horse circuit. Charming, attractive, single and unsuitable.
Not that Mia was looking.
Nate pulled his hat off, messing up his thick, brown hair and reached out to shake Evangeline’s hand.
“Poor guy had a wreck with his horses this morning and he needs a place to hole up for a while and for his horses to heal,” Denny continued. “I told him he could stay with me. On the ranch.”
“I’m so sorry to hear that,” Evangeline said, turning to Nate, concern in her voice. “Are the horses okay? How did it happen?”
Nate’s gaze drifted from Mia to Evangeline. “I got cut off by a semi and had to hit the ditch. My horse trailer rolled. Tango is banged up pretty bad. Thankfully, my mare, Nola, is okay as are the other two mares. Dog was shook up a bit, but he’s okay.”
“Oh, my goodness, what a fright,” Evangeline said. “Of course you can stay on the ranch. Olivia is taking care of Ella right now, and she’s staying in the trailer, but she’s leaving tonight so you can stay there.”
“I don’t want to push anyone out,” Nate protested, his eyes cutting back to Mia’s again. “And if Socks is a problem I’m sure—”
“You and your dog are more than welcome.”
“But you and Denny are getting married—”
“In half a year. I still live above this store until that happy event.” Then she glanced over at Mia and lifted a hand in apology. “Sorry. I’m forgetting my manners. Nate, this is my friend Mia VerBeek. She runs the flower shop next door.”
Nate turned his full attention back to Mia, his smile deepening.
“Nice to meet you, Mia,” he said, his voice holding a hint of humor as he held his hand out.
You need to get going. You don’t have time for this.
But Mia ignored Other Mother’s chiding voice and let Nate take her hand. He held it a beat longer than necessary in his warm, rough one and when he let go, she felt an unexpected moment of loss.
“Nice to meet you, too,” she replied as his smile widened, creating a curl of attraction.
“So you own the flower store,” he said, dropping his hat back on his head and slipping his hands into the back pockets of his worn jeans. Was it her overactive imagination or was he leaning closer? “That’s ambitious,” he continued.
Desperate, actually. Mia needed to support her family after Al ditched and then divorced her. She had no marketable skills. Candace, the previous owner, cut her a good deal on a ten-year buyout and had spent time training her. It wasn’t Mia’s dream job, but it was work and it came with an apartment above the store. The whole setup had been an answer to many desperate prayers Mia had sent toward God.
“It definitely keeps me busy.” Mia held his gaze a beat longer than she knew she should. His smile grew and when he shifted his weight it moved him a few inches closer.
Walk away now, Mia. This man is flirting with you and we both know how that will end.
Mia knew she should listen to Other Mother’s prim advice, but for this small moment she felt like an attractive and desirable woman. She didn’t feel like Professional Mommy weighed down with obligations. Of course she loved her children, but still...
She returned his smile.
Just then Sophie arrived, pushing the stroller, wails emanating from it. “I think one of your little girls is hungry,” she said to Mia. “The one with the green bow in her hair.”
“That would be Grace and she’s probably thirsty.” Mia shifted mental gears so quickly she was surprised she didn’t hear a grinding sound. She turned the stroller to look inside at one very upset baby waving her chubby hands in protest, releasing another howl when she saw Mia. “Oh, honey,” Mia murmured, lifting the wailing little girl out of the stroller, patting her on the behind. “What’s wrong with you, munchkin? You thirsty?”
“You can heat up the bottle in the microwave in the book club room if you need to feed her,” Evangeline offered.
As Mia reached into the diaper bag to get a bottle she caught Nate frowning at her.
“Those are your kids?” he asked.
She didn’t imagine the shuttering of his expression. Nor the step he took away from them. Like a rejection of her girls. Like Al.
“Sorry,” he said. “I didn’t know you were—”
“A mom?” Mia couldn’t stop the hint of annoyance entering her voice. “It gets worse. There’s two more of these at home and no father,” she said, reality extinguishing the small attraction she had allowed herself to feel. Nate wasn’t the first man put off by her brood.
She bounced Grace in her arms then turned back to Evangeline. “I’ll heat up her milk and feed her. Thanks for the books. I’ll pay for them on my way out.”
“You know you don’t have to—”
“I’ll pay for them on my way out,” she insisted, unable to stop herself from shooting a quick glance at Nate. He was still looking at her but the pity on his face ignited a flare of annoyance.
She juggled her baby in one hand and with the other worked the stroller around the desk. It caught on the corner and the diaper bag fell off, spilling diapers, bottles, snack packages, extra clothes and old cookies all over the floor.
Of course this would happen as she was trying to make a quick getaway. Of course this would happen in front of this handsome, single guy.
“Here. Let me help you.” Nate stepped toward her and bent over to straighten the mess just as she reached for the bag. His hand brushed hers and to her dismay she felt a faint tingle again.
“I’m okay. I got this,” she returned as Grace’s wails grew in intensity.
But Nate set her and the large diaper bag on end.
“I’ll take care of Jennifer.” Sophie Brouwer made a sudden appearance and before Mia could say anything she wheeled the stroller and its lone passenger away. Evangeline showed up with a broom and nudged Mia aside. “I can finish this,” she said.
“You should take care of your little girl,” Nate said, glancing over at her as he gathered up the embarrassing detritus of her diaper bag.
“I’m sure I know what I need to do,” she returned, frustration and pressure and everything that had piled on her shoulders the past few months making her snappier than normal.
She stood and strode to the back room with the sobbing baby. But by the time she got there she realized she had left the bottle of milk lying on the floor. With a groan of frustration she turned to get it, only to end up face-to-face with Nate in the doorway, holding out a bottle.
With a muttered thanks she took it from him, closed the door to the back room and rocked a now furious Gracie.
As soon as the milk was ready she snatched it out of the microwave and Gracie grabbed for it and shoved it in her mouth. Silence, blessed silence, now reigned and Mia dropped into the nearest chair, cuddled her little girl close and fought the inexplicable urge to break into tears.
* * *
Nate stood a moment by the door, listening. Guess Mia got her little girl settled.
“I feel like I have to apologize for Mia’s shortness,” Evangeline said as she stood. “She’s a great girl. She’s just had a lot to deal with lately.”
“I imagine taking care of four kids would do that.” He shot a quick glance over to where Sophie was pushing the stroller around and he couldn’t help a smile at the sight of the little girl still sleeping inside it, her head fallen to one side, her cute mouth open.
“Mia’s had a tough go of it,” Evangeline agreed as she set the diaper bag on the counter.
“Doesn’t help that she’s so independent,” Denny said, still leaning an elbow on the counter.
“She’s had to be,” Evangeline retorted, as if sticking up for her friend.
Nate could identify. He had come limping, literally, with his broken-down horse trailer and injured horses and Socks, his dog, onto Denny’s yard this morning feeling sheepish and reluctant. When he had his accident he had been on his way to deliver his mares to a ranch in Montana where he would be working after the competition he had entered Tango in. The vet in Cranbrook had told Nate that Tango wouldn’t be competing anytime soon, and Nola might end up foaling earlier because of the accident. Thankfully, Bella was okay.
After being out of touch so long, Nate felt like the prodigal son when he pulled onto Denny’s yard.
But Denny had come running out and had pulled him close in a bear hug. Behind him had come his foster sister, Olivia, carrying a little girl. Denny’s daughter, Nate found out later. Both Olivia, Nate’s foster sister, and Ella were crying. Olivia from joy, Ella from frustration.
And as he stood with Denny’s arm around his shoulder and Olivia’s around his waist, Nate felt like he had come home.
“So, Nate, what do you think of my future wife’s store?” Denny was asking, leaning on the counter as he flipped through the children’s books Mia had left behind.
As Nate glanced around the building with its high ceilings, wooden floor and bookshelves lining every wall, he felt a craving rise up in him.
“This old store is cool,” he said with a grin. “And all those shelves of new books just waiting to be cracked open.”
“So you like to read?” she asked.
“Like to read?” Denny snorted. “This cowboy had his nose in a book so often I can’t believe he’s not shortsighted. Used to read on the way to school, on the way back, when he was riding fence. I had to snap my fingers in his face to get him to look up and even then he would barely notice me. You probably have at least three books with you now.”
Nate just grinned. “There are two in my truck and a few more in my backpack.”
Denny shook his head. “Of course there are.”
The other baby girl in the stroller the older lady was pushing around let out a squawk, which made him wonder how Mia was making out with the little girl. And then he wondered why he cared. Someone like her was so out of his comfort zone, she may as well be in another country. It would be difficult enough for him to bring another person into his life, let alone another person with four kids. Then the back door of the store opened up and Mia came out, and in spite of his self-talk he couldn’t stop himself from taking another look.
She was petite. Cute. Her dark hair cut in a short, pixie-looking cut. Her brown eyes were like a doe’s, large, brown, thick-lashed and held a hint of sadness. This, in turn, created a protective urge that surprised him.
He pushed down the reaction. He was in no position to protect anyone. He was having a hard enough time taking care of himself.
“Everything okay?” Evangeline asked as Mia walked over to where the older lady named Sophie stood, reading a book with one hand, pushing the stroller back and forth with another.
“Yeah. She’s settled. Hopefully that lasts until I get back to the store.”
“Hey, Mia,” Denny said. “Nate and I came to take Evangeline out for supper. You want to join us?”
“Sorry,” Mia said with a smile of regret. “I have to catch Zach’s father before he quits for the night and I’ve got a ton of other things to do yet.”
She didn’t look at Nate this time and he was confident he was part of the reason she turned down the invitation. He felt like he should apologize for his reaction but then caught himself. Apologizing was Denny’s thing.
He was always the one who felt like he had to smooth things over with Olivia, Adrianna and Trista. Nate would hunker down, avoid eye contact and keep himself from getting caught in the emotional storms. They usually blew over quickly in the Norquest family.
As for Mia, Nate knew he wouldn’t be spending much time with her. As soon as Tango was healed, he would be on the road again. Back to a life that he was more comfortable with.
Just him and his horses and no one depending on him.
Chapter Two
Was that smoke she smelled?
Mia took another sniff as she walked out of the grocery store, the evening light slanting over the parking lot. Probably just her overactive imagination.
As she came around the corner of Mug Shots, she heard Evangeline call her name. She was leaving the café, Denny and Nate right behind her.
“You only now finished your grocery shopping?” Evangeline asked.
“Talking to Zach took longer than I thought, and the grocery store was busy today.” As they walked along the street, she tried to ignore Nate’s presence behind them. She didn’t need to mix up her life by getting distracted by someone like him.
“Is that smoke I smell?” Nate asked.
“Yeah. I thought I smelled it, too.” Then she looked up and saw a plume of black smoke in the sky above Mug Shots. Her heart stopped.
“Looks like it’s coming from Main Street,” she said as she hurried her steps, trying to shake off the idea that it could be her store and home. Then she took another look and saw smoke twining around the telltale crooked brick chimney of her store. Panic clenched her stomach as she grabbed the handles of her stroller and hurried down the street.
“Mia. Wait,” Denny called out, but she ignored him, her panic growing with each step. And then she came around the corner.
“It’s my store.” Her legs turned to rubber as she clung to the handles of the stroller. “My boys. My boys.” She started across the street, unable to move fast enough.
Someone caught her by the arm. She shook it off, her entire focus on the smoke pouring out of her store and flames starting to curl up from the roof. She started walking again, but then an arm snaked around her waist. “Don’t. Stay here,” Nate’s voice growled in her ear as his iron-hard arm clamped her against him. “You can’t do anything.”
“My boys. My boys are in there.” She thrashed against his hands, her fear and panic twisting like the flames now flickering from the roof. “My boys and Angie.”
She heard the squawk of a two-way radio and then heard another voice behind her.
She spun around. Jeff Deptuck, a local fireman, stood beside her, his cell phone to his ear and a two-way radio in his other hand. She grabbed at him. “Jeff. They’re not here yet. My boys are in there with Angie.”
“Are you sure?” Jeff’s gaze was suddenly intent on hers. “Angie and your boys?”
“Look, someone is at the window,” Nate called out.
It was Angie, waving. She was probably trapped.
“The trucks are out of town. They won’t be here for another ten minutes,” Jeff called out. “Someone get an extension ladder from the hardware store.”
A tall man broke away from the group that had gathered and ran down the street.
“By the time he gets the ladder out, it’s going to be too late,” Mia called out.
“We’ll have to go in up the stairs at the back,” Jeff said.
“I’m coming with you,” Nate said. “I’ve worked as a volunteer firefighter.”
“You listen to me and do exactly what I say,” Jeff warned, his voice stern.
Then without another word, Jeff dashed across the street then ducked into the gap between the buildings to get to the alley, Nate right behind him.
“Make sure she doesn’t go anywhere,” Nate said to Denny, then ran across the street after Jeff.
Mia pulled at Denny’s hands that held her arms like a vise. “I need to go and help them,” she called out. “I know how to get in.”
But Denny pulled Mia back again as the ominous sound of fire crackling battled with the growing wail of sirens.
But it was only a police car that came down Main Street.
“The fire trucks aren’t coming,” Mia sobbed, pulling ineffectually at Denny’s hands. She stared up at Angie’s panicked figure in the window. “They won’t get here in time.”
Then Angie disappeared and Mia’s heart turned to ice.
She couldn’t watch, but she couldn’t look away, thoughts, fears and half-formed images seething and twisting through her tortured mind.
The policemen got out and moved the gathering crowd back.
Mia’s entire attention was on the building and the smoke billowing out of it now. After what seemed to be hours, the fire trucks finally showed up at the end of the street, the men piling out in a flurry of activity, their bulky suits and reflective tape flashing in the failing sunlight.
“Stay here, Mia. Evangeline, you make her stay,” Denny warned as he ran toward the firefighters calling out that there were people in the building yet. One of the firefighters spoke with him while others donned masks and hooked tanks over their bulky coats. There were still more who worked in a rhythm, laying out the hoses, hooking them to the nearest fire hydrant. Instructions were called out, verified as the men with masks grabbed their axes and entered the front of the store.
Then, with a whistle of steam, water was poured onto the building and into the open window. Then more sirens as ambulances came, blue-and-red lights strobing through the smoke and gathering dusk.
Neither Evangeline nor Denny spoke as the drama unfolded in front of them, but Mia felt their hands on her, holding her back, yet at the same time, comforting her.
“Dear Lord, please keep Jeff and Nate safe. Help them to get Angie, Nico and Josh out of the store,” she heard Evangeline praying aloud.
Mia couldn’t pray, her gaze stuck on the building. The brick facade was now charred with smoke and dripping with water as the flames momentarily retreated. Where were the boys? Jeff? Nate? Time ceased as her world narrowed down to the building with smoke pouring out of the windows, the shouts of the firemen, the drone of water pumps, the hiss of flames being extinguished and the cries of the onlookers now gathered along the street.
Then another wave of noise caught her attention. It came from a side avenue. People shouting. Cheering.
Then she saw them.
Jeff, limping as he carried Josh, supported by Angie.
And behind him, Nate holding Nico close, his head tucked against his neck.
Mia ran toward them, her heart threatening to burst in her chest.
“Josh. Nico.” She reached out her arms to take them. But just as she got close, EMT personnel came between her and her boys, taking them from Jeff and Nate and escorting Angie to the ambulance.
“Those are my boys,” she called out, desperate to find out how they were.
“They’re okay.” Nate came up beside her, reeking of smoke, his face smeared with soot. She caught at him, her fingers digging into his arm.
“Are you sure? Are you sure?”
Nate looked down at her, then gave her a tentative smile. “We managed to get them out before the fire got too intense.”
Her legs gave out as the reaction sank in. Nate caught her before she fell. “C’mon, let’s go see how your boys are,” he said, slipping his arm around her shoulder and holding her up. Together they walked to the ambulance, him supporting her, her entire attention focused like a laser on the back of the ambulance.
Yet, at the same time, she was filled with gratitude for the man holding her up. The man who had rescued her sons.
* * *
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Denny held Nate’s gaze with an intensity Nate tried to ignore. It only reminded him of how close he and Jeff had cut things getting Angie, Nico and Josh out of the building.
“The paramedic said I’m fine, so I’ll take his word for that.” Nate leaned forward in the hard plastic chair of the hospital waiting room, and subconsciously tapped his foot on the shining surface floor. The sharp, antiseptic smell of the hospital brought back memories he thought he’d buried. Spent too much time here as a kid.
“You should never have run into that building, you know,” Denny said.
“I had training,” Nate protested, fighting the urge to get up and pace. “That other guy, Jeff, he couldn’t get two kids and that woman out on his own. If we had waited till the fire department showed up, it might have been too late.”
He didn’t want to let his mind go too far down that road. In spite of his work as a volunteer fireman, he knew he would be reliving that harrowing search for months to come. The heat of the floor in Mia’s apartment. The horror that gripped him when he made it to the bed and didn’t find the little boy in it as Angie had said. His panicked sweep of the room only to find the little boy huddled in a closet, his arms wrapped around his knees.
Denny sat back in his chair and gave him a smile. “You’re quite something, little brother. But you should let the doctor check you over.”
“I’m fine. I just want to make sure that kid, Nico, is okay.” The boy had scared him. When Nate pulled him out of the closet, he’d gone limp and Nate had to drag him out of the room and back down the stairs.
“Is Evangeline okay with taking care of those baby girls?” He wanted to talk about something else.
“Yeah. She’s used to handling babies after little Ella came into our lives a couple of months ago.”
“Hey, I was sorry to hear about your ex-wife’s death,” Nate said, a note of sympathy in his voice.
“It took some adjusting. Especially since Lila’s sister dropped that bomb the same time she dropped Ella off on my doorstep because she didn’t want to take care of her anymore.”
“I still can’t believe I’ve got a two-year-old niece,” Nate said, letting a smile curve his lips. “And you’re getting married again in a couple of months.”
“I can’t believe it, either, but I have to say, I highly recommend it.”
Nate just snorted. “Being single is better for a guy like me. Less chance to get hurt.” He stopped himself there. Denny always made him say more than he wanted.
He remembered coming to the Norquest ranch a young, angry boy of twelve, abused by his stepfather. Denny’s family worked his way past the defenses Nate had spent the first twelve years of his life erecting.
The Norquests surrounded him with love and laughter and gave him a vision of a life that was good. Olivia, Trista and Adrianna teased him the same way they teased Denny. Steve and Donna Norquest treated him like their own. After two years of living with them he started calling them Mom and Dad.
Then, when Denny was seventeen, they died in a small plane crash, reinforcing the one belief he had clung to since his mother left him with an abusive stepfather.
Letting people into your life hurt.
“You’ll change your mind someday,” Denny said with a conviction that created a tinge of frustration in Nate.
But Nate preferred to keep his comments to himself.
Evangeline came toward them pushing the baby stroller and gave them both a quick smile. “I’ll keep moving,” she whispered as she passed them. “The girls are sleeping. I just called Olivia and she said she would stay until we came back.”
Denny nodded and leaned back, seemingly content to just sit.
Nate envied him his composure. He couldn’t sit still. Too much had happened too quickly. He was still processing his accident and now this?
He tapped his fingers together and blew out his breath, feeling as if the walls closed in on him.
“What is taking so long?”
“You can go back to the ranch if you want,” Denny said. “Check on your horses. See how Olivia is doing.”
Nate shook his head. “No. I want to see this through. Do you want something to drink? I’m dry as dust.”
“No, thanks, but you go ahead. Do you need change?” he asked, already reaching for his wallet.
“Thanks. I’m good.” Nate had to smile at the offer. Denny was always slipping him money when Nate blew through his allowance sooner than he was supposed to. Always looking out for him. Still looking out for him.
Nate walked down the hall to the vending machine and made his choice, but when he pulled his wallet out to slip the money in he was disappointed to see his fingers trembling.
Aftershock, he reminded himself. The paramedic told him to watch out for it and to go to the hospital if it got too bad.
As if. He had spent enough of his life in a hospital; he wasn’t going to deliberately check into one on his own. He grabbed the bottle of juice when it dropped into the bin. He twisted the top off and chugged half the bottle down as his mind, unwilling, returned to the thick, choking smoke curling up from the building. The panic that seized him when he saw the flames licking up the side of the wall as he and Jeff pulled open the door to the apartment, dropped to the floor and started crawling. The fear that clutched at him when he didn’t find the little boy in his bed.
He stopped by the windows overlooking the town as he walked back to the waiting room, pushing the memories down. Hartley Creek seemed like a good place to stay awhile if he had to stay anywhere. Denny was here. Olivia, too. And it sounded like the other sisters might be popping in from time to time.
Nate let a hint of a smile play over his lips. He had missed Denny and the girls more than he wanted to admit. The past three years had been tiring and taxing and draining. Too much time on the road. Too many competitions. Too much juggling to find places for his horses to stay on the off-season. Right now he had two mares that had just foaled, boarded at a friend’s place. One of these days he knew he had to find a permanent home.
But the thought of settling down, putting down roots, creating the potential for loss...
He shook off that thought, took another swig of juice and started back down the hallway. Then stopped as another fit of coughing seized him. Unable to walk through it he rested his hand against the wall, doubled over. When he was done, his chest felt as if someone had doused his lungs with acid. He took a few more slow breaths, carefully sucking air into his raw throat. It would be okay, he reminded himself.
Then, as he looked up, he saw Mia standing by the entrance to the emergency department, her arms wrapped tightly around her oldest boy. She was looking directly at him.
For a moment he felt it again. The initial shot of attraction he had experienced when he first saw her in Evangeline’s bookstore. The attraction that had been doused when he found out that she had children. A family.
But in spite of that, he easily remembered how she leaned into him as they walked toward the ambulance. How, for a moment, it felt nice to be needed.
He pushed that reaction down. He had his own stuff to deal with and no room for a woman in his life. Especially not a woman who needed more than he could possibly give.
“Where are Evangeline and Denny?” he asked her as he came around the corner to see the waiting room vacated.
“The girls just woke up when I got back here. One needed something to eat, the other, a clean diaper. So they’re taking care of it.”
He sensed, from the strained note in her voice that she didn’t feel right about that situation. She seemed like a person that had a hard time accepting help.
“So how are the boys?” he asked. “What did the doctor say?”
She took a breath then pushed her hand through her short hair in a nervous gesture. “Josh is good,” she said, rubbing her hand up and down the arm of the older boy standing beside her. His dark hair was pasted down on one side and while his face was clean, his hands were still streaked with black, as were his clothes. Mia fingered Josh’s hair away from his face in a vain attempt to neaten it, her fingers trembling. “You’re going to need a bath when we get home, buddy....” Mia’s sentence trailed off and Nate realized she no longer had a home to go back to.
“How is Nico?” Nate asked.
Mia gave him a curious look, as if wondering about his concern. “Dr. Brouwer is checking a few more things out. How was he when you took him out of the building?”
“Scared. Panicky. He hung on to me like a little monkey. But I don’t think anything was broken or burned.”
Mia pressed her lips together as she took a slow, trembling breath. “I can’t begin to thank you for...for what you did. You saved my son’s life.”
She gave him a wavery smile and Nate had to resist the urge to slip his arm around her shoulder and support her. But he caught himself in time.
He had nothing to give a woman like her. She needed someone stable, strong. Someone who could be a father to her kids.
Instead, he turned to Josh, feeling a rush of empathy. Hospitals could be intimidating and scary places. Nate crouched down, balancing on the balls of his feet, his hands dangling between his knees. “Hey. How are you feeling?”
Josh gave him a smile that echoed his mother’s. Trying to be brave. “I was scared in the fire,” the six-year-old said. “And then I saw Mr. Deptuck and he got me and Angie out.” His lower lip trembled and Nate guessed he would have a few bad dreams the next while.
Nate put his hand on his shoulder and squeezed lightly. “You’ll be just fine, champ.”
He straightened and caught Mia’s gaze, her eyes holding a stark look, a direct contrast to the forced smile that held her mouth captive.
She was trying so hard to be brave, he thought. Brave for her son.
“And Jeff?” he asked.
“I’m not sure.” She shot him a frown. “Are you sure you shouldn’t see the doctor, as well?”
The concern in her voice created a flicker of warmth, but he waved off her suggestion. “I’m fine. Throat’s sore, but I’m okay.”
She looked at him like she didn’t believe him and for a moment, he found he couldn’t look away.
Stop this, he warned himself. Don’t do this.
Then he heard the sound of a baby’s whimper and he spun around. Denny and Evangeline returned with the girls. Both babies rubbed their eyes, their cheeks flaming pink.
“Oh, girlies,” Mia said, reaching out for one of them. “You are exhausted.”
Evangeline released the one baby to her and Mia held her close, tucking her little baby’s head against her neck and rocking her. She had been through a lot and was still giving her babies comfort.
A loving mother.
“So we need to figure out what to do with you and the kids,” Evangeline said, her voice taking on a brisk, no-nonsense tone. “Denny and I think you should come back to the ranch with us.”
“I can leave if you need the space,” Nate said.
“No. Your horse is in no shape to travel,” Denny replied. “We got it figured. Evangeline can’t go back to her apartment above the store until things are cleaned up so Mia, Evangeline and the kids can move into the house with Olivia. Me and you get the trailer,” he said to Nate.
Nate wanted to protest, but knew he wasn’t in any position to. His horses needed to recuperate and he needed to be close to them. The foals the mares carried were part of his stake for a new venture he hoped to set up someday. When he was ready to settle.
“So, Mia, it’s decided,” Denny said with what sounded to Nate like a forced heartiness.
“I don’t know,” Mia said, glancing over her shoulder to the examining rooms. “I don’t want to put you out. I could stay with my mother and father.”
Seemed like she didn’t want to stay on the ranch any more than he did, Nate thought.
“Your parents live in a minuscule apartment in Nelson,” Evangeline said. “You can’t go there with four kids.”
Mia sighed and closed her eyes as if she still wasn’t sure what to do.
“Just come for the next couple of nights,” Evangeline said, slipping her arm around her friend’s shoulders. “Don’t think too far ahead.”
Mia nodded and released a sigh. Denny rocked the other baby watching both of them with a fatherly look.
Nate stood on the edge of the group feeling like the outsider he was.
Then the curtain dividing the waiting area from the emergency department swished aside and the doctor stood in the entrance, motioning for Mia to come.
And he wasn’t smiling.
Chapter Three
“So you’re saying he can’t talk because of the trauma he experienced?” Mia rubbed her index finger over her chin in a nervous gesture. Nico lay on the hospital bed, looking small and helpless, his gaze fixed on the ceiling. His brown hair was tangled and messy and his eyes red and bloodshot from the smoke.
“Physically, he’s fine. For that we can be thankful.” Dr. Brouwer looked over at Shannon, the Emergency Department nurse, who was also his wife. “Do you mind watching Nico for a moment?”
Shannon nodded, then gave Mia a comforting pat on her shoulder.
As Mia followed Dr. Brouwer out of the cubicle she shot another quick look at her son, but Nico kept looking up as if trying to find something on the ceiling.
As Ben Brouwer closed the door of an empty examining room behind them, he gave her a tentative smile that made her even more wary. “We’ve done all we can for Nico,” he said, folding his arms and resting his hips against the door behind him. “The fact that he’s not talking is not connected to anything physical. It’s often called Selective Mutism. Sometimes that term applies to shy children, children who will speak at home, but not in public, or in Nico’s case, children who won’t speak after a stressful trauma. A counselor can properly diagnose this.”
“So he might not talk again?”
“The mutism is generally temporary, but because it’s psychological rather than physical we have no way of knowing how long it will last.”
“So why is Josh okay?”
“Each child is different. Stress manifests differently in them. It might be Nico’s way of controlling a world that, a few moments ago, fell apart for him in a dramatic and traumatic way. I would highly recommend seeing a counselor. I can set up an appointment with a Dr. Schuler in Cranbrook if you want.”
Mia nodded. “Please. I want Nico to get help as soon as possible. And what do I do for him until then?”
“Give him peace and quiet. Return as much as possible to some type of routine. And don’t pressure him to speak.”
Peace and quiet. Mia could do with some peace herself, she thought, rubbing her chin again.
“Do you and your children have a place to stay?” Dr. Brouwer continued, his deep voice soothing. A good doctor’s voice, Mia thought. “I understand from the paramedics that your apartment is unlivable.”
She and her children had no place to return to. They had nothing but what they wore.
“Evangeline and Denny have offered us a place on the ranch,” she managed to say.
But she wasn’t sure she wanted to stay there. Nate created emotions a mother of four children had no right to feel. Emotions she didn’t dare let in her life again.
“I suggest you take the offer. Moving Nico away from town and away from the physical reminder of what he has just been through would be a good solution.”
Mia massaged her forehead, the headache that had hovered at the back of her eyes all day now increasing. All she wanted to do was crawl into bed and retreat from thinking and planning.
Only her bed was probably a charred hulk.
Please, Lord, help me not to cry. Help me to focus on Nico. Please be with my little boy. Help me to get through all of this.
“I don’t have a choice,” she said quietly, her voice trembling in spite of her prayer. She waited a moment to compose herself then looked up at Dr. Brouwer. “Thanks so much for your time and your care. How is Jeff Deptuck?”
“He’s okay. Some smoke inhalation but he’ll be fine. Angie is with him now.”
In spite of the circumstances Mia had to smile. Jeff had had a crush on Angie from the moment he met her. Every book club meeting he would alternately tease or flirt with her and for the most part, she seemed oblivious.
Guess it took rescuing her from a burning building to finally get her to notice him.
Just then another one of the ED nurses came to the doorway asking for him, and Dr. Brouwer pushed away from the examining room table. “Bring Nico and Josh to the office next week for a follow-up. Hopefully Nico will be back to his usual, chatty four-year-old self by then.”
“I hope so,” Mia replied. “Thanks again for all your help.”
He laid a light hand on her shoulder. “You take care of yourself, as well, okay?”
Her only reply was a quick nod and then she followed him out of the room and back to the cubicle where Nico now sat, buttoning up his shirt. He looked up at her, then back down, his face still showing no expression.
“He told me he wanted to do it himself,” Shannon said, giving Mia a quick smile.
“He talked to you?”
Shannon looked over at Nate, her expression holding a tinge of sadness. “He got his point across.”
Mia’s heart folded in on itself and she walked over to her boy, who looked so small on the large bed, and gave him a tight hug. “I love you, Nico,” she murmured, resting her chin on his head. He still smelled like smoke. He needed a bath.
He leaned into her for the tiniest of moments, then pulled away, his fingers working at the stubborn buttons. Mia had to ball her hands into fists, so strong was the urge to help him.
When he was done she helped him off the bed. He clung to her hand and she squeezed tightly, trying to convey through her fingers as well as her words that she was there for him.
Then together, they walked down the hall toward the waiting room. The first person she saw was Nate, who got to his feet. He was still here, was the first thought that sang through her.
You shouldn’t even be allowing him the tiniest space in your mind, was the one that followed on its heels.
“How is he?” Nate asked, holding her gaze for a heartbeat longer than he had to.
“The doctor said he’d be okay. We just need to come in next week for a follow-up, right, Nico?”
But Nico didn’t acknowledge either by action or by word that he had heard what she said. He pulled free from her and ran directly to Nate and clung to him, burying his head against Nate’s arm.
Nate looked from Nico to Mia and back to the little boy again, as if unsure of what to do.
“Nico, honey.” Mia tried to lift the little boy into her arms, but Nico pushed her away. His shoulders shook, like he was crying. But he didn’t make a sound.
Nico’s hands scrabbled at Nate and finally Nate shifted himself around and hauled the little boy onto his lap. He patted him on the shoulder but Mia noticed that he was genuinely uncomfortable.
“It’s okay,” he muttered to the little boy, looking from him to Mia. “It will be okay.”
Finally, after a long, uneasy moment, Nico’s shoulders stopped shaking and he lifted his head. He looked directly into Nate’s eyes, as if trying to find something there.
Mia laid her hand on Nico’s shoulder but he still ignored her.
“Hey, buddy, you should go to your mom,” Nate said with an awkward laugh.
Nico stared at him a moment longer, and this time he didn’t resist when Mia took his hand and drew him away. But then Nico tugged his hand free, walked over to Josh sleeping on the couch and dropped beside him. He drew his legs up to his chest then laid his head down. Retreating.
“I don’t know what that was about,” Nate said, slowly getting to his feet. “I’m sorry.”
Mia waved off his objections. “Nothing to be sorry about.” She was about to say more when Denny and Evangeline returned, each holding one of the twins, both of whom were fussing.
And as Mia looked at her children she felt a clutch of despair.
What was she supposed to do now? How was she supposed to take care of her children?
A sob clawed up her throat and she swallowed and swallowed, trying to fight it down. She couldn’t break down. She had to stay strong. There was no one else for her children but her.
She dropped her face into her free hand, her fingertips pressing against her cheeks as if to restrain the fear and sorrow.
To her surprise she felt a large, warm hand rest lightly on her shoulder. Give it a gentle squeeze. “It’s okay,” Nate muttered. “It will be okay.”
She wanted desperately to believe him but right now life overwhelmed her. A whimper crept past her tightly clenched lips.
No. Not now. Not in front of this man.
She stopped herself, took in a long, slow breath.
But no sooner had she released it then the overwhelming feelings of grief scraped away at her again.
A sob trembled through her, then another. Then Nate’s arms were around her.
She fought his embrace but he held firm, his arms strong and unyielding. Another sob broke free, then another. Then, all she could do was lean into him, let her tears flow and cling to him as the storm of sorrow and fear washed over her.
* * *
“Sorry I’m late,” Nate said to Tango as he forked hay into the pen. “Can’t believe I slept in that long.”
He thought Denny would have woken him up when he headed out to drive his gravel truck this morning, but his brother seemed to think Nate needed the rest.
The roan stud stood in one corner, barely looking up when Nate approached.
“Hey, guy, how are you doing?” Nate asked as he opened the gate of the pen and stepped inside. He walked over to his horse, wincing at the sight of the cuts on the horse’s face. “How’s the leg?” he asked, gently running his hands down Tango’s foreleg. Still warm, and still swollen. It would be a few days before Tango could put any weight on that leg. And probably even longer before he would be competing.
Nate stifled a sigh of dismay at the thought that all the work he had done with Tango, all the time he had spent training would disappear if he couldn’t compete in the upcoming cutting horse competition in Livingston, Montana.
He gave Tango another pat on his withers then looked over the gate of the pen. His mare, Nola, stared back at him. Her large brown eyes seemed to accuse him. As it was all his fault they were in this dilemma.
“You’ll be okay, girl,” he said, his voice low and assuring. She had to be. The foal she was carrying was worth thousands. He beat down his nervousness, stacked his hands and rested his chin on top of them, watching Nola nose the hay he had forked to her earlier. He heard Bella nicker from the pen outside the barn and Jake’s low, snorting reply. It was as if his horses outside were reassuring the ones inside, that all would be well. Trouble was, Nate wasn’t so sure about that.
Nola turned around in her pen and he fought down a cough. Then another one. Socks, who had followed him into the barn, nudged his hand.
“Sorry, buddy,” he said, coughing again, dropping to the straw-covered floor beside the dog, stroking his dark head. “That’s what I get for trying to be a hero.”
He rubbed his eyes, still sore from the smoke and fought down another cough as his thoughts circled back to Mia.
Last night, after coming back from the hospital, Nate had turned down Denny and Evangeline’s offer of coffee and instead, had gone directly to the trailer he would be staying at. He needed some time alone.
It was disturbingly easy to resurrect the feeling of Mia’s delicate body in his arms that moment in the hospital. How she had leaned into him and how easily his arms went around her. It had frightened him, but what bothered him more was how good it felt.
The tantalizing glimpse of something he couldn’t—shouldn’t—have.
He wanted to blame his reaction on the isolation that had dogged him the past few months. The feeling that, in spite of doing what he loved, there was a huge hole in his life. It was that feeling that had sent him back to reading the Bible. Sent him to his knees in prayer.
And now he would be on his foster brother’s ranch for a while. But so would Mia and her kids.
What was he going to do about that?
The way she had depended on him, even for those brief moments, had created a blend of longing and fear.
Another fit of coughing overtook him and when it was done, he laid his head back against the rough wood of the pen. Socks laid his head on Nate’s knee and he grinned at his dog, stroking his head. “I’ll be okay, buddy,” he said. “I survived my mom leaving me with Karl. This is nothing in comparison.”
His mention of his stepfather reminded him of the letter folded up and stuffed in the back pocket of his blue jeans.
When he received the letter emblazoned with the name of a legal firm based out of Calgary he thought, at first, some mistake from the past had reared its ugly head. As he read the letter, he realized he was right.
His stepfather, the man who had put his mother in the hospital a couple of times and himself even more often, the man who had torn Nate’s family apart and sent him into foster care, had died three months previous. And he had left all his money to Nate.
Nate unfolded the worn paper once again, the anger he thought he had dealt with rising up and threatening to choke him again. He didn’t want any part of Karl Packer’s money.
Blood money.
Guilt money.
As if giving him money would ever erase what Karl had done to him or his mother. There was no way he was taking it.
A rustling noise in the doorway of the barn made him shove the paper back into his pocket and get up. “Evangeline?” he called. Nate hadn’t gone to the house for breakfast, but he was fairly sure Evangeline was also gone to work for the day.
But it wasn’t his future sister-in-law who hovered in the doorway of the barn.
Nico stood there with a half smile and as he walked toward him, his eyes clung to Nate’s, the same way they had yesterday in the hospital. He came to stop beside Nate and held out his hand.
Nate hesitated, not sure what Nico wanted.
I’m not that guy, he wanted to say to the little boy. I don’t dare give you anything. I don’t dare let you into my life.
Chapter Four
“Josh, Nico, we’ve got to get going.” Mia gave Grace’s face a quick wipe as she called up the stairs to the bedrooms above. Though Nico couldn’t talk, nothing was wrong with his hearing and Mia knew he was playing upstairs in his bedroom.
While she set Grace beside Jennifer, Josh meandered down the stairs. His hair was still neatly combed and, thank goodness, his clothes were still clean.
“Josh, honey, can you speed it up a little?” Mia tried to keep her impatience from seeping into her voice as she stuffed a couple of diapers into the diaper bag that doubled as a purse and swung it over her shoulder. “We have a long drive ahead of us.”
Ben Brouwer had pulled a bunch of strings, called in some favors and got her an appointment with the specialist today at 11:00 a.m. in Cranbrook, a fifty-minute drive away. “Is Nico coming?” she asked Josh as she picked up both twins.
“He’s not here,” he said in a matter-of-fact voice. “He went outside when you were in the bathroom. When you were changing Grace.”
Panic streaked through her. There was a creek on the ranch. Nico loved water.
She charged outside, Grace and Jennifer bobbing on each hip, Josh barely keeping up with her. Her panicked gaze swept the yard when she got to the van. All she saw was buildings and fences. All she heard was the soft breeze in the trees surrounding the farmhouse. Denny was off to work and Evangeline had taken Ella to town for a doctor’s appointment.
“Did he say where he was going?” Mia asked, setting Jennifer in one car seat, clipping her in one-handed.
“He’s not talking, remember?” Josh said, giving her a frown.
Her mind raced as she ran around the other side of the van, secured Grace in the car seat and plopped a pacifier in her mouth.
“You stay here, sweetie,” she said to Josh. “And don’t move. Mommy is going to look for Nico.”
Thankfully, Josh just shrugged, got into his booster seat and started playing the handheld Nintendo he’d found in the house.
She left the door of the van open as she called Nico’s name, her voice sounding shriller each time.
“Nico. Where are you?” She called again, desperation filling her voice. Dear Lord, don’t let him be by the creek, she prayed, one hand on her chest as she ran across the yard. Please let him be okay.
She paused a moment, listening again for something.
“He’s over here.”
Nate’s voice. Coming from the barn beside the horse corrals.
Relief mixed with concern blended with a touch of anger. Why hadn’t Nate brought him to the house?
She stepped into the barn, momentarily blinded as her eyes adjusted to the darker interior.
She blinked, looking around and then she saw Nico. He sat on the floor of the barn, leaning against the wall, stroking Socks’s head. The dog’s ears perked up when Mia came close and his brown eyes studied her, but he didn’t leave Nico’s side. Nor did Nico look up at her, his hand slowly stroking over the dog’s head again and again.
Mia pushed her hand against her still-racing heart. A door creaked and Nate came out of a stall, looking surprised to see her there. “You okay?” he asked, his voice still hoarse from yesterday’s smoke.
His hair was neatly brushed and his cheeks still seemed to shine from his recent shave. He wore a tan shirt today and clean blue jeans. If possible he looked even better than he had yesterday.
“Yeah. No problem. Just fine,” she said with a dismissive wave of her hand, but she couldn’t stifle her concern at the sight of her son here. Nico didn’t bond quickly with people. His connection with Nate, though understandable, was worrisome, especially after listening to Denny talk about him last night. Turned out Nate was a loner who worked as a ranch hand over the winters and ran the cutting horse circuit all summer. A free spirit. Disconnected.
Certainly not the kind of man she could allow her children to become attached to. Especially not Nico.
“I didn’t know Nico was here. I’ve been looking for him.” Her panic was slowly being replaced by annoyance. “I’m leaving for a doctor’s appointment in Cranbrook in a few minutes.” She glanced at Nico, who seemed to be ignoring her. But she knew from the way his hand slowed its rhythmic petting of the dog that he hung on every word they spoke.
“Sorry. I didn’t know,” Nate said, closing the stall door behind him and latching it shut. “I would have sent him back to the house otherwise.”
“I would appreciate it if you could do that next time he comes out here,” Mia said, her request coming out more sharply than she intended.
“Sure. I get that.” Nate reached for some lengths of rope and sat down on a nearby hay bale between her and Nico. “You heard your mom, sport,” he said, addressing her son as he started to braid the three strands together. “You shouldn’t come out here unless your mother knows.”
“That’s not what I was getting at.” Mia lifted her head to hold Nate’s dark gaze. For the tiniest moment an unexpected combination of fear and attraction thrilled through her.
Too easily she recalled how it had felt to be held by him. That surprising feeling of safety and support she hadn’t experienced in a long, long time.
She swallowed and looked away, suppressing the foolish reaction, then squatted down in front of Nico. “Honey, we have to go. I need to be in Cranbrook in an hour.”
Nico raised his head to hold her eyes for a scant second then shifted them to Nate, as if seeking his approval.
Mia fought down her agitation, aware of the other kids waiting in the van. The importance of making the specialist appointment hung over her like a cloud, yet right now she had to tread cautiously with her son.
So she placed her finger under his chin, to make him turn his eyes back to her. Thankfully, he gave in right away and she eased off. “Sweetheart, I know it’s nice to be here with Socks,” she said, forcing herself to talk quietly. Slowly. Deflect the focus of his trip to the barn from Nate to the dog. “I know you love dogs, but right now Jennifer and Grace and Josh are waiting for us and I don’t want Jennifer to start crying because she misses us.”
Nico blinked and he opened his mouth and for a heart-stopping moment Mia thought he would speak. But his mouth worked, open and shut, but nothing. When she saw the shimmer of tears in his eyes, she drew him close. “Oh, sweetie, it’s okay. You’re safe.”
She stifled her fear at how close she had come to losing him. But she couldn’t stop herself from looking up at Nate, who watched them through narrowed eyes as his hands worked the rope.
He put the rope aside, crouched down beside Nico and laid his large hand on the boy’s shoulder. “You should go with your mother, buddy. She needs your help right now.”
Nico sniffed, nodded and then scrambled to his feet. He gave Nate a curt nod and, without another glance at Mia, left the barn, Socks trotting along behind him.
Though Mia was thankful for Nate’s assistance it bothered her that Nico responded to Nate more than he had to her.
“Thanks for that,” Mia said as she got up.
“Just trying to help,” he said, holding his hands up in apology.
“I know that and I appreciate it.” She hesitated, torn between her need to get going and her need to draw boundaries for her children.
Then he started coughing and her resolve wavered as she was reminded of what he had risked for the sake of her son.
He’s not the kind of man you can let your children connect with. His leaving will cause Nico and Josh too much pain.
Annoying as she was, sometimes Other Mother was right.
“You know that I can’t thank you enough for saving Nico’s life,” she started, watching as Nico stepped into the van.
“Please. Don’t say any more. Anyone would have done the same.”
“I don’t know about that. However...” she hesitated, feeling ungrateful in spite of her words of thanks to him “...I am concerned about Nico and how attached he seems to be to you.”
Nate’s eyes narrowed and Mia wasn’t sure how to read him. For the sake of her son, she kept going.
“Nico has a lot to deal with right now and I’m afraid that...that if he gets too attached, too connected, he’ll get hurt when you go.”
“Why do you say that?” His eyes still held her but his voice sounded grim.
“You’re only here until your horses heal up, and then you’re leaving, right?”
Nate nodded, affirming what she already knew.
“When my husband left, it took Nico a long time to get over that.” For six months after Al had left, Nico slept with Mia, afraid to be on his own.
“And now the aftermath of this fire—” Mia’s voice broke and she pressed her lips together, feeling an unwelcome jolt of sorrow for her family’s loss of business and home. She looked away from Nate’s piercing gaze, took a steadying breath and soldiered on. “I am worried that Nico is too strongly connected to you now. I don’t want him hurt when you leave, so I would appreciate it if you could discourage him spending time with you, somehow.”
The heavy silence following her request made her regret what she had said, but it was what she had to do to protect Nico.
“Sure. I get it.” Nate looked away from her, bent over and grabbed the rope he had dropped. “You’ve got to take care of your kids. Keep them safe.”
That was her only reason, she reminded herself as she hesitated, wishing she didn’t feel like such a heel. “I know you rescued him and I can’t tell you enough how grateful I am—”
“You don’t have to thank me anymore,” Nate said quietly, settling down on the hay bale, his eyes on the rope he was braiding. “We’re good.”
Mia hesitated a moment more, still not entirely happy with how things had gone down, torn between what Nate had done for her and what she had to do for her children.
He looked up at her and for the space of a heartbeat their eyes met. And for the space of that same heartbeat she felt it again. That glimmer of appeal. Of attraction.
Stop this. Quit this right now.
But she couldn’t look away.
“You should go,” Nate said finally, twisting the strands of rope together. “You don’t want to be late.”
She nodded her acknowledgement then without another word, left.
But as she walked across the yard to her van, she wondered if her warning to Nate was as much about herself as it was about Nico.
Chapter Five
Don’t watch her leave. Keep your eyes on what you’re doing.
But it was as if his practical mind and his lonely soul weren’t communicating, and Nate watched Mia as she walked across the yard.
Her slender frame looked too fragile to carry the responsibility of four children, but he had seen the effect of the thread of steel running through her. The fact that she warned him away from Nico bothered him on one level and yet, at the same time, created a sense of admiration.
This was a woman who put her kids’ needs first.
Something his mother never did.
He shook the foolish thoughts off, grabbed a pail of oats and headed outside to the corrals. He had been headed out to feed them when Nico had come into the barn. Instead, he’d had a one-sided conversation with the boy while he cleaned out Tango’s stall. And then Mia showed up.
Nate poured the oats out for his other horses, spacing the piles far apart to keep them from fighting. Nola munched at her oats, lifting her head from time to time to make sure the other horses kept their distance. Nate walked around her, grimacing at the scratches that marred her golden coat. “Hey, girl,” he said, running his hands over her expanding belly. “I’m excited to see your foal. Should be a real goer. But can you wait until we get settled in Montana before you have it?”
She nickered again, as if agreeing with him, then put her head down and continued eating, crunching at the oats.
Nate checked out the other horses, touching them, reminding them who was in charge. Before he entered the barn he stopped, looking behind him at the snow-capped mountains that edged the ranch feeling a twinge of envy at their beauty. His brother had ended up with a prime piece of real estate thanks to his deal with Evangeline’s father, who had owned it previously.
He was happy for Denny, though. Nate knew how bad Denny felt after his divorce with his first wife cost the ranch that Nate had seen as a place of refuge. A place he felt safe. At the Norquests’, he never had to worry about someone striking out at him for no reason. Locking him up in the basement for days on end.
And now, with the death of the man who had hurt and tormented him so often and in so many ways, Nate felt free. Though the letter tucked in his back pocket mocked that very freedom.
Nate spun around and strode into the barn, tossing the pail aside, struggling once again with memories that had, for the most part, been eased away with the unconditional love of Denny’s family. They had introduced him to faith and had shown him a better way to live. His stepfather was nothing to him. He would take nothing from him. Ever.
* * *
Mia pushed the stroller back and forth, thankful the girls still slept, equally thankful she could get the large stroller into the counselor’s office. Josh sat beside her immersed in his computer game. In the small room just off his office, she heard Dr. Schuler talking to Nico.
Please, Lord, let something good come from this, Mia prayed. She could use some good news. The girls were out of sorts and she knew a lot of it had to do with being yanked out of their routine. Josh was uncharacteristically cranky.
Tomorrow she had to deal with the insurance company, and her initial contact with the agent this morning hadn’t been encouraging.
Please let the doctor have figured out how to help Nico.
The door creaked open and Dr. Schuler stepped out. With his blond goatee, longish hair, plaid shirt and faded blue jeans he looked more like a West Coast logger than a therapist. But Mia wasn’t going to quibble about his wardrobe choices. Dr. Brouwer had had nothing but encouraging words for this man.
Nico came behind Dr. Schuler, clutching a handful of papers covered with the same colorful drawings as the papers Dr. Schuler carried. Mia suspected those pictures had been the main source of communication between them.
Dr. Schuler gave Mia a smile that she could only construe as encouraging. Then he stopped at his desk, laid the papers down and hit the intercom button. “Nancy, could you come into the office and take Nico and Josh to the playroom for a few minutes?”
A short, portly woman bustled into the office and squatted down in front of Nate and Josh. “I have a fun race-car set I would like to show you,” she said.
Josh needed no encouragement, but Nico glanced at Mia, who nodded her assent. Only then did he leave.
“So I’ve had an interesting session with Nico,” Dr. Schuler said as he tapped the stack of papers in front of him. “I understand both from Dr. Brouwer and from the pictures he made for me that he survived a fire?”
Mia nodded, her guilt over not being there plunging like a dagger in her heart as she clutched the stroller, pushing it back and forth, back and forth.
“It wasn’t your fault, you know,” Dr. Schuler said.
“I should have been there.”
“With your two girls? Do you think you could have gotten four children out on your own?”
His probing questions put things into perspective for Mia. Reluctantly, she nodded, accepting the quiet wisdom he was giving her.
“Josh and Nico came through with minimal physical damage and for that you can be thankful. However, Selective Mutism is not uncommon in a child as young as Nico after a very traumatic event. It will go away, but it takes time and it takes giving Nico space to let us know what he wants.”
“And what do you suggest?”
Dr. Schuler laid out the papers he had taken with him and leaned his elbows on the desk. “Could you have a look at these? Tell me if you recognize anything in them.”
Though the pictures were crudely drawn, Mia had seen enough of Nico’s drawings to recognize what he was trying to portray. The first paper was covered with orange and red flames and in the middle of them stood a stick figure of a man wearing a black cowboy hat, a feather stuck in the band. The cowboy stood beside a smaller figure. The next picture beside it was of the same man, riding a horse. The man wore the same cowboy hat. Another picture showed, what Mia guessed, was the same stick figure. He stood by a horse, again, but a little boy rode the horse. Another picture depicted the same thing.
“Is there anything, other than the ubiquitous man with the black cowboy hat with the feather, that you notice about these pictures?” Dr. Schuler was saying.
Mia stifled a yawn as her eyes flicked over the pictures but she couldn’t find what Dr. Schuler wanted her to see. “Sorry. My brain isn’t working properly today.”
“I’m sure it’s had enough to think about. I just thought you might see something I might have missed. But I wanted you to notice two things. The man has all his features—face, eyes, nose mouth and hair. The little boy only has eyes. No mouth.”
“Indicative of his lack of speech,” Mia guessed.
“I would guess the same. And you can see that in each picture it seems to me the little boy is looking at the man. Is he familiar to you in any way?”
Mia slowly released her breath through pursed lips, thinking of Nico’s actions of this morning. “A man named Nate rescued Nico from the fire. He’s the foster brother of the man whose ranch I’m living on. He’s a horse trainer and he’s only passing through.”
Dr. Schuler tapped his fingers on his desk, as if thinking. “You sound concerned.”
“I am concerned about my son’s attachment to him,” Mia said, looking at the other pictures Dr. Schuler had brought along. All of Nate and Nico and horses. “This morning, before we came here, I found him with Nate in the barn. Nico doesn’t form attachments quickly, so yes, it concerns me. It took him months to get over Al’s defection. I can’t afford to let him get attached to someone who will be leaving within the next couple of weeks.”
“I understand. However, your son seems to have formed a strong connection to him and to his horses. I am presuming the connection with Nate started with the rescue from the fire. Now we just need to figure out how we can use it to help your son. So this is something you will have to deal with.”
All that Dr. Schuler said reinforced Mia’s own concerns about Nate, but it didn’t negate the reality of Nico’s connection to him.
“So what’s next?” she asked.
“Another visit, obviously. We’ll have to set up some type of schedule. This will take time and patience to deal with. As for the man in the pictures, is he trustworthy?”
The man had put his own life on the line to save Nico and Josh. He and Denny seemed to have a close relationship. Any of Mia’s concerns about Nate and Nico were not because of Nate’s character. But because of his circumstances.
“I believe he is,” Mia said.
“Would you consider working with him and Nico. Possibly some supervised visits?”
“He lives at the same place we do. His brother owns the ranch we’re staying at.”
“Then having him spend some time with you and Nico might be a possibility. He might be able to draw Nico out somehow. As well, given that Nico seems drawn to his horses, that could be another point of connection that you and this man could work with.”
“We can figure out all we want,” Mia said, “but if Nate isn’t willing to help out, then we’re no further ahead.”
“If he’s not, then we’ll have to explore other avenues. Maybe the horses that also feature prominently in each picture could be a vehicle for his recovery. But for now, this man seems to be an important point of connection.” Dr. Schuler leaned forward. “I fully understand your concerns and under any other circumstance I would feel the same. But to me Nico’s mutism is wound up with this man. If, somehow, you could work with him and Nico, as well as his horses, we might see a breakthrough.
“If we can even simply establish a connection with Nico and the horses that might be enough to mitigate any concerns that might come up when this man, Nate, leaves. How do you feel about that?”
“I’m still not comfortable, but of course, I’ll do anything for Nico.”
“Of course you would,” Dr. Schuler said with a smile as he leaned back in his leather chair. “You strike me as a loving and caring mother.”
Grace started squawking and Mia jiggled the stroller to settle her down.
“One thing for next time—I would like to spend some time with you one-on-one during the next visit. You’ve been through just as much as the boys.”
Mia waved off his concern as she turned the stroller around to check on the girls. “I’m fine. I just need to get through the next few weeks.”
Dr. Schuler gave her a thoughtful look, as if trying to see into her soul.
“Really. I’m okay,” she insisted.
“The offer stands. Think about it.”
“Thanks, but I’ll be fine.” She got up and slung the diaper bag over her shoulder. Thankfully, Grace had settled again.
“Stop at the reception area,” Dr. Schuler said. “I’m fully booked up for next week, but hopefully you can get in after that. From there on we can set a weekly visiting schedule.”
“Sure. Thanks so much for seeing me today. I appreciate you taking my son on such short notice.”
“I look forward to seeing what we can do for him.” Dr. Schuler got up and walked around the desk to the door to open it for her. “This is temporary. You need to know that. We can help your son. I am hoping this Nate man will be willing to help.”
Mia’s thoughts ticked back to the conversation she had just had with Nate this morning. How she had asked him to stay away from her son. Now Dr. Schuler was suggeting she ask for his help?
She thought of Nico and shook her head. One step at a time. For now, get home. Then you can figure out how to deal with this.
Chapter Six
“And how have you been feeling, Jeff?” Evangeline asked as she passed him a bowl of salad.
“I’m fine,” Jeff said.
“You may be, but you’re still a little hoarse.” Angie glanced at Jeff sitting beside her at the long, wooden table in Denny’s kitchen. Mia and her children took up one end, the adults the other. The full table reminded Nate of the dinners at the Norquests’. Lots of people and shared jokes, laughter and conversation.

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