Good Husband Material
Kara Lennox
It starts when Natalie Briggs runs into her ex-husband, Josh, at their high school reunion.A romantic dance leads to a kiss…and a kiss to a blissful night of lovemaking. Then Natalie gets the shocking news. She's finally going to have Josh's child–twenty-five years better-late-than-never! Her adopted daughter is excited about becoming a big sister. Josh's teenage sons don't know what to think.And her former mother-in-law is full of maternal advice… before Natalie even gives birth! Starting a family was what Josh and Natalie always wanted. But when Natalie couldn't conceive, their marriage unraveled. Now they've been given a miraculous second chance. Life has just gotten more complicated–will the second time around be sweeter?
Good Husband Material
Kara Lennox
Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter One
As Natalie Briggs looped her name badge around her neck, she casually checked out the remaining badges on the table.
Casually, until she saw the one that read Josh Carlson. Then she had to swallow hard and look away, hoping her panic wasn’t obvious. How was this possible?
Her friend Melissa had assured her Josh wouldn’t come. He’d made partner a couple of years ago at the Houston law firm he’d been working for since he got his law degree. That meant he didn’t have time for a silly class reunion.
She didn’t bear him malice, really. But it would be so awkward seeing him after all these years.
“Natalie!”
She found herself scooped into a bear hug by a five-foot-two tornado. Though Natalie couldn’t see the tornado’s face, she knew it was Melissa Bailey Pelton, the only person in tiny Camden, Texas, she’d kept in touch with over the last several years.
With her mounds of bright red hair—always completely out of control—and mischievous green eyes, Melissa had an eternal youthfulness about her that would probably still be with her when she was a hundred.
“Natalie, you look fabulous! I can’t believe you actually came!”
“I told you I was coming, didn’t I?” Then she added in a whisper, “But you told me Josh wouldn’t be here. You promised.”
“He RSVP’d at the last minute,” Melissa said with a shrug. “Anyway, I want to see him. We’ve exchanged a few calls and e-mails over the years, but I haven’t actually laid eyes on him since you guys split up…what, twenty years ago?”
“Twenty years ago this month, as a matter of fact.”
“Ah, so you keep track.” Before Natalie could comment, Melissa led her to a table, where a few others from their old crowd were sitting drinking beer and noshing on chicken wings. “Look who I found!”
“Hey, it’s Stick!”
Shrieks of recognition and lots of hugging followed. Back in high school, they’d been the brainy group, the ones who actually read the assigned books in English class and enjoyed them. The ones who’d planned on going to college, though not all of them had.
“Lookin’ good, Stick,” said Tommy, the one who’d dubbed her with her not-very-flattering nickname because she’d been so skinny.
“Not such a stick anymore,” she said with a grin.
Natalie hugged each of them in turn and met a few spouses as warm memories flooded her. Diane Helms, who’d played flute in the marching band; Bud Conklin, who read books on theoretical physics just for fun; Tommy Garrett, who loved practical jokes. Though some of them had less hair, more padding and a few more laugh lines, they were all instantly recognizable and seemed exactly the same.
It was too bad she’d let these friendships slip away. After her mother died, she’d found no compelling reason to return to her small hometown.
Camden and her old friends had only been a painful reminder of how happy they’d all been—how happy she and Josh had been before the struggles of the real world had taken their toll.
One more person came forward and Natalie found herself nose-to-chin with Josh Carlson.
Her ex-husband.
She stepped back, and every molecule of air in her lungs whooshed out, leaving her unable to speak.
“Natalie.” His voice was warm, sexy, almost provocative. “Melissa said you couldn’t come to the reunion.”
Natalie shot her friend a scathing look, but Melissa pretended not to notice.
“I decided at the last minute,” Natalie said when she could find her voice. It came out sounding remarkably normal. Oh, Lord in heaven, why couldn’t he have aged like their friends…like her? Josh Carlson in the flesh was just…an assault on her senses. He’d filled out some, but he wasn’t carrying an ounce of excess weight anywhere she could see, and his hair was as dark and thick as ever, though he wore it quite a bit shorter than she remembered. The slight silvering at the temples didn’t detract from his appeal at all.
He was six feet of lean, broad-shouldered, gorgeous male, and Natalie’s knees had suddenly turned to rubber.
“You look fabulous,” he said. “The men are going to line up to dance with you like they did in high school.”
Natalie laughed. The comment was such an exaggeration, and for some reason it put her at ease. This was the same Josh, even if he was a fancy lawyer now, and he didn’t appear to hate her. Maybe that was what she’d feared most.
“Sit down, you two!” Melissa insisted. “Here, have a beer.” Someone had brought a round of cold bottles from a well-stocked cooler. “Hey, this is just like prom except we don’t have to sneak the alcohol.”
Natalie felt her face grow warm. Every class at Camden High held their junior-senior prom at the VFW Hall. It was the only place in town that could comfortably hold a few hundred people. Memories of her own first prom were sharp in her mind; that was the night she and Josh made love for the first time, at the end of their junior year.
She glanced over at him and saw that he was studying her, his expression pensive. Was he remembering that night, also? A lot of their friends had been slipping out to the parking lot to drink, or sneaking sips from contraband flasks. But Josh and Natalie hadn’t needed any mood-altering substances. They’d been high on each other. They’d only been dating a few months, but they’d both known their relationship was special, and they’d decided to wait until that particular night to consummate their love.
Natalie had driven all the way into Austin, more than an hour away, to visit a clinic and get birth control pills. Ironic, now that she thought about it. She hadn’t needed them—would never need them.
As if she didn’t have enough nostalgia coming at her from all directions, the reunion committee had dug up the same band that had played at their proms. It was hard to believe they were still together. Now graying, some of them near retirement age, they nonetheless could still play, at least as well as they did twenty-five years ago, which hadn’t been all that great. But the music was loud, and the songs were the hits of their era, each one with memories attached.
“Hey, come on, what are we sitting around for?” Melissa demanded. “Let’s dance!”
Oh, sure, right. Everybody at the table was already paired up—except Natalie and Josh. She was going to kill Melissa when she got the chance.
Josh started to his feet, but Natalie froze. Melissa grabbed her by the arm. “Come on! You love to dance!”
“But—”
“Stop being such a stick-in-the-mud,” Melissa said with a gleam in her eye. “Drink down that beer, then y’all get out here and dance.”
Stick-in-the-mud. Melissa’s ultimate insult when she was trying to get someone to do something they shouldn’t. Natalie had fallen for it every time in high school, and to her surprise she wasn’t immune to it even now.
Josh drained his beer, then gave Natalie a challenging look. “C’mon, Nat. It’s just dancing.”
“Oh, all right.” If she didn’t agree, Melissa would bug her until she did. They would all be dancing in a big group anyway, like they used to, the girls dancing more for each other than for the guys, who always stood around like lumps and shuffled their feet.
The dance floor was crowded. Melissa carved out a spot for their group, and pretty soon they were all dancing to songs made famous by Hall and Oates, Huey Lewis and John Cougar. The years fell away. They were all seventeen again—but no one had a curfew.
Inevitably the band turned to country music, and almost without noticing, Natalie was in Josh’s arms for an easy two-step. By the time she realized where she was, it was too late to back out.
Josh grinned at her. “It’s great to see you, Nat. I’ve missed you.”
She swallowed, trying to relieve the dryness in her mouth. This would be easier if he weren’t so darned confident. She sought a subject of conversation, and decided something that reminded them both of the huge gulf between them would be welcome. “So, how are your boys?”
His smile widened. “The boys are great. Sean’s going into his senior year—plays football and guitar. He has a girlfriend, too, which scares the hell out of me.”
“Afraid he’ll run off and get married?” Which was exactly what Josh and Natalie had done, right after high school graduation.
“Yeah. Or he’ll get the girl pregnant. They’re already, you know…sexual.”
“Your son tells you?”
“I pried it out of him. Wanted to make sure he was being responsible about it.”
Natalie knew she would soon have those same kinds of worries. Her daughter, Mary, had turned sixteen just last month. She’d told Natalie she was still a virgin, and Natalie believed her. They were very close, and Mary knew Natalie would support her fully and love her unconditionally no matter what she did. But these days, Mary was looking more and more grown-up, and she seemed to be constantly on the phone with boys.
It was only a matter of time.
“So what about your younger son? Doug, right?”
He arched one eyebrow at her in surprise.
“Hey, I read our alumni newsletter.”
“Ah. Doug is great. He’s the serious one—a little bit more like me when I was that age. Kind of shy, but he has lots of friends. And he’s a brainiac—straight A’s.”
“I bet they’re both handsome.”
“They take after their mother. Blond hair, blue eyes. And very handsome, even if I do say so myself.” He paused. “You have a daughter, I hear.”
From Melissa, no doubt. Natalie was sure Josh didn’t approve of her decision to adopt without a husband. She smiled, ready to prove to him that she’d done an excellent job raising her daughter alone. “Yes. Mary’s sixteen and perfect in every way.”
“That’s motherly love for you. No teenager is perfect.”
“Well, maybe not perfect. But she’s my joy. Never gives me any trouble.”
“My kids are great, too, but they keep me in a constant state of terror.”
“There is that,” Natalie conceded. “I guess I do worry about Mary, though she’s never given me any real reason to.”
“You wouldn’t be normal if you didn’t worry.”
Well, that exhausted the subject of children. “Your parents? They doing okay?” Josh’s parents, who’d owned the Camden National Bank, had sold the bank and moved to a posh retirement community in Galveston a few years earlier. They’d never been overly fond of Natalie, but she still felt obliged to ask after them.
“They’re great. They live right by the beach, and my father plays golf every day. I was sorry to hear about your mom. I wanted to come to the funeral but…”
“I know. Melissa said you were worried about making me uncomfortable. The flowers you sent were beautiful, and I very much appreciated the donation you made in her name to the American Cancer Society.”
“Your mom was always really cool.”
Unlike his parents, who were tense and controlling. If his father played golf, he was probably competitive as hell.
“Do you love being a lawyer?” she asked. Nice and safe.
“I like it a lot, though I still have to work too many hours. Makes being a single parent something of a challenge.”
“I know what you mean.”
“You’re still doing the nurse thing?”
“Loving every minute of it.”
“Hey, if I were in the hospital, I’d want you as my nurse.”
Good Lord, he was flirting with her. “You’re a little old.”
“What?”
“I’m a pediatric nurse. I work in the neonatal unit, so all of my patients are newborns.”
Josh smiled again, a little sadly. “I can definitely see you doing that.”
Of course he could. From the time she could walk and talk, she’d been fascinated with babies. How many times had Josh been forced to stand around while she oohed and aahed over some baby she’d spotted at the mall? She’d volunteered to take care of babies at the church nursery and she’d babysat every chance she got, looking forward to the day when she could hold her very own newborn in her arms.
Only that day never came. She’d thrown away her birth control pills the day she’d gotten married, with Josh’s full blessing. Though they had no money and no plans, they knew they wanted kids.
But the pregnancy never happened.
They saw a fertility doctor. The problem was Natalie’s—she had under-functioning ovaries. If she ovulated at all, it had been extremely erratic. They’d tried fertility drugs, which hadn’t worked, and they simply hadn’t had the money to pursue the next step, which would have been in vitro fertilization.
The constant efforts, continual worries and monthly disappointments when pregnancy tests came up negative combined to put stress on a marriage already overburdened with money problems. They’d both been going to college and holding down various jobs, all while navigating around the strident disapproval of Josh’s parents, who’d been horrified by the sudden marriage of their only son.
Natalie hadn’t been willing to give up. She was going to get a baby, no matter what it took. She’d wanted to adopt, and she’d been ready to put them on a list, figuring that by the time a baby became available they would have the money for all the legal fees. But Josh drew the line. He’d wanted to raise his own child, and had insisted that they keep trying, pretending that some miracle was just around the corner.
In hindsight, she understood his hesitation. But at the time, she’d thought he was being narrow-minded.
Her attention was jerked back to the present when the lights dropped down low and the band switched gears to a slow song.
“Maybe we should sit this one out,” Natalie said nervously.
But Josh didn’t look nervous at all. “Aw, come on, Nat, lighten up. It’s a twenty-fifth class reunion. Comes along once in a lifetime. You’re supposed to get a little bit crazy.”
“Who says?” But she didn’t object when he put his arms around her and pulled her closer. They did a slow glide around the dance floor, passing Melissa and her husband, Beau. Melissa grinned and winked at Natalie. Little did she know the revenge Natalie was planning even now.
By the end of the song, Natalie had relaxed to the point she was resting her head on Josh’s shoulder and thinking about things she shouldn’t. It had been a very long time since she’d been intimate with a man. Years, in fact. There’d been a couple of boyfriends after her divorce, but every time a relationship seemed as if it might take a turn for the serious, Natalie had ended it. She hadn’t been able to bear the thought of falling in love with a man, then telling him she couldn’t have children.
Then she’d adopted one-year-old Mary. After that, she simply hadn’t had time for any other relationships—if anyone had wanted to be with her, which they hadn’t. It wasn’t a myth, that most men viewed single moms as if they had leprosy. But she hadn’t cared. Raising a daughter was completely fulfilling—she hadn’t needed a man in her life, hadn’t even missed having one.
Or maybe she had.
She’d forgotten how good Josh smelled. “Oh, my God.”
“What?”
“You’re wearing Stetson aftershave.”
“I might be.” She heard the grin in his voice.
It was one of the first gifts she’d ever given him, a bottle of Stetson. The smell had seemed incredibly macho to her back when she was seventeen. He’d worn it for her, and it had been a couple of years before he’d been brave enough to tell her he didn’t really like aftershave, that he preferred to smell simply like soap.
Yet he’d worn it tonight. “Is it that same bottle?”
“The old bottle turned to turpentine some years ago. I went out and bought a new one.”
“But you don’t like aftershave.”
“Sure I do.”
No, he most certainly didn’t. His decision to stop wearing it had hurt her feelings, so she darn well remembered it. “Let’s go get something cold to drink.”
On the way back to their table, Bobby Salazar stepped into their path. He stared at them drunkenly. “Thought you two got divorced.”
Josh slapped the other man’s shoulder. “Hey, Bobby. Thought you got sober.”
It took Bobby a moment to process the comment. “Heh, good one.” Then he grinned and staggered off.
“I’m sure we’re confusing a number of people,” Natalie said as they reached their table.
“Yeah, but we won’t see them again for another twenty or so years, so do we care?”
She shrugged. “Not really.”
“I’ll go get us a couple more beers.”
Melissa, of course, made a beeline for Natalie as soon as she was alone. “So, y’all are getting along, it looks like.”
Natalie narrowed her eyes. “You are in so much trouble. You lied to both of us.”
“They were just little white lies. Oh, Nat, you two should be together. I always told you so. Now there’s nothing keeping you apart. He’s been divorced from Beverly for, like, eons, and you’re single.”
“There’s a lot of painful history keeping us apart,” she reminded her friend. “We can’t undo the train wreck we made of our marriage.”
“But you were so young back then. You’d do better now.”
Would they? Certainly she’d matured in the past twenty years. She had mellowed, didn’t see things as black or white anymore.
“We’ve built separate lives,” Natalie said.
“So? You could merge them again. I mean, the issue, the big issue—that’s not even relevant anymore, right?”
She shot Melissa a dangerous look. “Melissa. Stop it.”
Melissa sighed. “You’re missing a great opportunity.”
Josh returned with the beers, which ended that particular conversation. Natalie was hot and thirsty—the old air-conditioning system in the VFW Hall didn’t begin to keep up with the heat, which was why Natalie had worn a sundress and most of the men had removed their jackets and ties, including Josh.
She took a long sip of beer and appreciated how good he looked in a starched white shirt. His chest was so broad now. Nice.
Soon Melissa had them all up and dancing again. This time they were line dancing, so it didn’t seem quite so weird, though Josh was there at her right. When the dance called for them to link up, he slid his arm around her waist, letting his hand stray briefly to her hip.
She felt a jolt of awareness all the way to her toes. “Josh!”
“Sorry.” He didn’t look sorry at all. The funny thing was, Natalie wasn’t sorry, either. Maybe it was the beer or the heat or the adrenaline, but she wanted him to touch her again.
After twenty minutes on the dance floor, Natalie was hot and sweaty and actually having a good time. But she needed some fresh air. When the band took a break, she excused herself to the restroom to brush her hair and reapply her lipstick, then slipped out a side door into the parking lot.
It was early June in Texas, which meant it wasn’t exactly cool. But a breeze was blowing, refreshing her face a bit. She thought about just getting in her car and driving back to Melissa’s house, where she was spending the night. She’d already gotten more than she’d bargained for at this reunion. But she probably shouldn’t drive just yet. Those one-and-a half beers had gone to her head. She would have to wait a couple of hours.
“I wondered where you’d gone to.”
She whirled around, startled. “Josh!”
He slipped an arm around her waist, just like when they’d been dancing. Except this time they were utterly alone and in the dark.
“I’m glad you’re doing so well,” he said. “For years I worried about you, all alone in the big city.”
She forced herself to relax as they naturally fell into a slow walk, heading for an area behind the building where a few picnic tables were scattered under some ancient live oak trees.
“I was never alone. My sister’s in Dallas.” That was why she’d applied to nursing schools there instead of Houston. That, and because she’d wanted to get as far away from Josh as she could, so she wouldn’t be tempted to go back. Ending their marriage had been the most painful decision of her life. She hadn’t wanted to go through it more than once.
“Yeah, but you didn’t have me.”
“Undeniably true. But by some miracle, I muddled through without you. Or any man.”
He took her hand and led her over to the tables, bending down to squint at the top of first one, then another.
“What are you doing?”
“Ah, here it is.” He took his key chain out of his pocket. It had a little LED flashlight attached, and he shined it on the top of the picnic table.
The beam of light illuminated a heart, with the initials J.C. and N.B. enclosed. Josh had carved it into the table when they’d first started dating their junior year. The carving had been painted over many times, but it survived along with about a hundred others.
“Defacing public property. Shame on you.”
“I wanted everyone to know you were mine.” He reached up and smoothed her hair behind her ear. “You haven’t changed. I mean, really. People say that, but you still look just as I remember you. No…better.”
“It’s the soft lighting,” she joked, but inside she was quaking. She couldn’t think clearly when he was touching her. She knew there was a very good reason not to be out here alone with Josh Carlson, but none came to mind. Nothing came to her mind except a hot desire she’d been sure was a part of her adolescent past.
Then he leaned in and kissed her, and she ceased thinking altogether.
Chapter Two
Josh couldn’t believe how good it felt to have Natalie in his arms and his mouth on hers. She looked the same, she smelled the same, she even tasted the same, which was unlike any other girl he’d ever been with.
Despite what he’d told her, he’d known ahead of time she would be at the reunion. Melissa had warned him. But the warning had been more of an enticement, really. He’d wanted to see how she’d turned out. They were still practically kids when they’d split up—just twenty-three.
He’d half hoped Natalie would be fat and matronly, with plenty of wrinkles and gray hair. Some of the girls he’d gone to high school with certainly had aged in that way. But not Natalie.
Physically, she’d hardly changed at all. Oh, she’d put on a few pounds—weight that was sorely needed. As a teenager she’d been way too thin. Now her still-slender figure had real womanly curves. He liked them—a lot.
She had the same high cheekbones and lush lips, same thick, dark hair, slightly wavy, the ends curling about her bare shoulders.
And she still kissed with no holds barred. He wondered if he could turn her on as easily as he once had. He knew where to touch. But even after a couple of beers, he questioned the wisdom of lighting her fire. They were grown-ups now, and sex wasn’t a game anymore. Sex had repercussions, and not just physical ones.
Yet, he couldn’t stop kissing her.
A door opened and he heard raucous rock music pouring out. He removed his hand from Natalie’s breast, where it had mysteriously strayed without his conscious decision.
“We really shouldn’t be doing this,” Natalie said, her chest heaving so hard she was about to come out of her sundress.
“Why not?” he asked, though he knew the answer.
“Because some memories should be left alone.”
“And some memories should be taken out and examined,” he countered. “To see if they’re really as good as you remember.”
He coaxed a smile out of her. “And was it?” she asked.
“I don’t know yet. I have more examining to do.”
She allowed him to kiss her again. Kissing was innocent, after all. They couldn’t exactly rip their clothes off and make love right here.
As he delved into her mouth with his tongue, he wished he hadn’t thought about ripping off clothes. Because knowing they couldn’t get naked right here had only made him wonder where they could get naked.
“I’ve got a room at the Holiday Inn,” he whispered in her ear. But only because he wanted to get her reaction. Not because he thought she would take him up on his proposition.
He expected her to express shock or anger or at least issue a curt refusal. But she was the one to surprise him. “I can’t. I’m staying with Melissa.” Her voice was filled with regret.
“Do you really think she’d object if you went off with me? She’s been campaigning for us to get back together ever since our divorce.”
“Yeah. Get together, get married, live happily ever after.” She paused to kiss him some more, pulling the tails of his shirt from his pants so she could slide her hands up his bare back. The touch of her warm, soft hands made him shudder with desire. Oh, what this woman could do to him. He would be her slave if she wanted it. “She would not approve of what we’re…talking about doing,” Natalie concluded.
“It’s a class reunion.”
“You keep saying that.” She reached for his hand and placed it back on her breast. “Like a class reunion is some kind of free ticket to bad behavior.”
He dipped his head down and kissed the top of her breast. “And we’re doing more than talking.” If they didn’t come to a satisfactory plan very soon, they would be out of their clothes in a much-too-public place. He’d forgotten just how crazy Natalie could make him.
He forced himself to pull away, and push the strap of her dress up her arm and back on her shoulder where it belonged. “My car is twenty steps away. You can call Melissa’s cell from there. Better yet, leave a message on her home phone.”
“Yeah, with one of her kids. ‘Tell Mommy her slutty friend Natalie is getting laid instead of coming home tonight.’”
Josh chuckled. “C’mon, Nat. I wore Stetson for you, you know. Normally I never touch the stuff.” But the smell of it had brought back all kinds of memories. Really good ones.
Sensing her reluctance, he kissed her again—kissed her until, one by one, her tense muscles relaxed and she became liquid in his arms.
“All right,” she finally said with a naughty gleam in her eye. “Forget Melissa. I’m mad at her anyway for lying to me.”
Adrenaline shot through Josh’s body. She’d said yes. He and Natalie were going to make love.
He hadn’t come here to seduce Natalie. Yeah, he’d worn the Stetson cologne, but that was more to see if she would remember—and maybe to remind her of the good times, not the bad. But the moment he’d seen her, looking not so different from the teenage girl he’d fallen in love with, he’d known that he wanted her in his bed that night.
He’d given up one-night stands a long time ago. And since two marriages with bad endings had proved he wasn’t good husband material, marriage was out of the question.
This was different, though. This was Natalie, the woman he’d once loved so desperately, probably more than anyone on earth except his kids. Spending one night with her would not be the same as some empty, frantic one-nighter. This would be a trip down memory lane, a welcome oasis of nostalgia in a life that was so caught up in work and raising kids that he never had time for just Josh anymore.
By the time they reached his Jaguar, he’d beeped open the lock. He settled her on the leather passenger seat.
“Nice,” she commented.
He looked down at her bare leg, a lot of which had been exposed when her dress rode up as she sat down. “Nice,” he murmured right back. Natalie’s long legs had always driven him wild, but they’d been colt’s legs twenty years ago. Now they were strong, elegant and shapely.
He ran around to the driver’s door and quickly climbed inside, not wanting to waste any time. Before he turned the ignition, however, he slid his hand under Natalie’s hair to grasp the back of her neck, and pulled her in for another kiss. He didn’t want to give her too much time to think because he knew she’d let reason talk her out of what they both wanted.
But once he started kissing her, he couldn’t stop. He had his hands all over her, and before he knew it she’d scrambled over the gearshift to straddle his lap.
They were no strangers to car sex. During their senior year, his “car” had been a beat-up compact pickup truck with even less space than the Jaguar, but it had afforded them the privacy they’d needed. He pushed his seat all the way back, then reclined it until they were almost horizontal.
“Nice,” she said again. She had his shirt mostly unbuttoned and her hands rubbing his bare chest, so he didn’t know if she was talking about the car or him.
He slid his hand up her dress to caress her thigh, then her bottom, which was covered with something very silky—and very tiny. “Really nice,” he murmured, fingering the lacy waistband of her panties. “I’d like to see these.”
“You can see them if you take them off.” She claimed his mouth for yet more kisses, hot, wet, open-mouthed kisses with tongues and teeth.
He was not one to argue. In a maneuver they’d perfected with practice so many years before, she leaned down until she was chest-to-chest with him, pressing her wonderful, soft breasts against him. Natalie’s breasts were fuller, softer than he remembered. She straightened her legs and swung them around to the side. Now, with her sitting on his lap with her back to the window, it was easy to whisk her panties off.
“Still agile as ever,” Josh couldn’t resist saying.
“You talk too much. And you’re wearing way too many clothes.”
That he could fix. He had his pants unfastened and unzipped in record time. Natalie reached inside his briefs and wrapped her hand around his arousal, and he sucked in a breath. It had been way too long. He suspected he would have about as much control as a teenager, which was only appropriate, since they were acting like teenagers.
Suddenly a horrible thought occurred to him. “Dammit, I don’t have any protection.”
Natalie laughed. “Josh, get a grip. Remember who you’re with.”
“Oh. Right.”
“Even if I’d been fertile as a bunny rabbit in my twenties, I’m forty-three now.”
“Jeez, Nat, I’m sorry.” How could he have made such a blunder, reminding her of what had torn them apart? “I guess I was back in time, when we did have to worry about that. But I never for a moment forgot who I was with.”
She grinned. “I should take it as a compliment that having sex with me made you forget what year it is.”
“We’re not having sex,” he argued.
“Not yet.” But she soon changed the status quo.
As he entered her, he felt as if he’d come home after a long, long absence. No, he would never mistake her with any other woman.
He tried to make it last, but it took everything he had to hold off just long enough so that she could reach the peak of pleasure. Then he fell into a void, a vacuum in which there was nothing but white-hot sensation. He wanted to stay in that place forever, but it was over far too quickly.
When he returned to the here and now, he realized they were both slick with sweat. They’d been in a sealed car on a warm Texas summer night while generating their own heat.
He cradled Natalie against his left arm while he sat up slightly and reached for the car key. With a flick of the ignition the engine was running, the air-conditioning blasting.
“Well,” Natalie said.
Josh laughed. And when he looked down at her with her dress half off, her hair everywhere, her makeup smeared, not to mention his state of disarray, he laughed again. “Guess we still got it.”
She punched him lightly on the arm. “Is that all you have to say?”
Okay, so he’d never excelled at after-sex dialogue. One of his many failings. “Natalie, that was fantastic.”
“Yeah, we still got it. We’re still crazy. What if our children saw us right now?”
“Shh. Our children aren’t here. And we’re consenting adults. We haven’t done anything wrong.” In fact, he thought it had felt pretty right.
She leaned her cheek on his chest and sighed. “I’m glad you have tinted windows.”
“There’s nobody out here, anyway.”
“Josh, why did we do that?”
Good question. If he thought there was any chance they could start over…But that was impossible. They didn’t even live in the same city. It was a four-or five-hour drive between Dallas and Houston, depending on how far one exceeded the speed limit.
But even if they weren’t geographically challenged, there’d been too much pain between them. Each time they’d failed to conceive, Natalie had gotten a little more frustrated, a little angrier, until those negative emotions had infected every aspect of their lives.
Not that he couldn’t take some responsibility for the mess they’d made of their marriage. He’d been less than sensitive to her insecurities. He’d viewed their infertility as a logistical problem to be overcome. If they just tried a little harder…
He hadn’t realized that Natalie considered her misbehaving ovaries a slap in the face of her womanhood, and he hadn’t understood her emotional storms. Sometimes, when she’d seemed especially moody, he’d just removed himself rather than comfort her and say the things she needed to hear—that he would love her forever even if there was never a baby.
Their disagreement over adoption had been the proverbial straw.
Right now they were wallowing in the good times, the fun times of high school, before real life intervened. But they were riding a pink cloud of nostalgia that couldn’t last for long.
Still, this night could last.
“Let’s go back to the hotel,” he said. “I want to make love to you properly, on a real bed, with air-conditioning.”
“Oh, no, I don’t think so.”
“What?” What was she saying?
“We need to get back to the reunion. There are so many people I haven’t talked to yet—”
“Nat, you’re making excuses. What’s the real reason?”
She maneuvered off his lap, managing to narrowly avoid kneeing him in the groin. “I don’t regret this, Josh, but I think we should return to our senses.”
“I happen to think making love to you in a comfortable king-size bed is perfectly sensible.” He adjusted his clothes and buttoned his shirt while Natalie located her panties and worked her feet back into her high-heeled sandals. “Besides, I’m not sure you want to go waltzing back into the VFW Hall looking like that.”
“What?” She pulled down the visor and checked herself in the mirror. “Oh, my God, I look like I just had sex in a car. Melissa would know instantly.”
Everyone would know instantly, but he didn’t say so. She opened her little purse and pulled out a comb and a lipstick, working feverishly, first on her hair, then her lips.
“This is hopeless! And I’m all sweaty.” She smelled her hair, then her shoulder. “I smell like Stetson! All right, yes, take me back to your hotel room. I’m going to shower and air out the dress.”
Not exactly what he wanted to hear, but it gave him time to change her mind. “I have to go inside to get my jacket and tie,” he said. “What do you want me to tell Melissa? Because she’s going to ask where you are.”
“Tell her we’re going for a drive.”
NATALIE SAT IN Josh’s fancy car waiting for him to return and ordered herself to calm down. She needed to downplay what they’d just done, or Josh would know how profoundly it had affected her.
She’d had no idea what she’d been missing. She’d thought her memories of Josh were pristine, untouched by the years of separation. Every so often—probably more often than was healthy—she trotted out those treasured memories and relived them. But clearly she’d suppressed some things—like how Josh could send her to the moon with a simple touch.
Her hormones hadn’t had a workout like this in a very long time. But it was more than just the physical stimulation. Memories assaulted her from every direction, things she hadn’t thought of in twenty years. Like when Josh had carved their initials in that picnic table, her first real indication that what he felt for her was more than fondness or teenage lust. And all those times they’d driven out to Cemetery Road and made love in his truck. They’d always done it in the cab, because the one time they’d spread some blankets out in the truck bed and attempted to make love, a sheriff’s deputy had driven by and caught them with their clothes half-off. He hadn’t turned them in, hadn’t called their parents, but he’d told them to get dressed and go home.
Natalie had never been able to look Deputy Klegg in the eye again.
So many good times—picnics, taking Josh’s family’s boat to the lake with their friends and waterskiing, parties at Melissa’s house dancing to MTV. So much love.
Though they’d raised a lot of eyebrows by marrying so young, most people thought they’d make it. The only ones who weren’t surprised when Josh and Natalie divorced were his parents. Though they’d always been civil to Natalie, she’d known they thought Josh could do much better.
Josh returned a couple of minutes later with his jacket and tie in hand. “Good news,” he said as he climbed into the car. “Melissa was out on the dance floor. I didn’t have to tell her anything.”
Good. Maybe Natalie had a chance of returning to the reunion before it was over and pretending nothing had happened.
She and Melissa had once shared everything, but Natalie would never tell anyone what had happened tonight.
The Holiday Inn was a good twenty-minute drive and two towns away. Josh turned down the air-conditioning and opened the sunroof. Natalie was quiet as the breeze blew in, whipping her hair around.
“This is a gorgeous car,” she finally said to break the silence.
“Thanks. Kind of a cliché, though, don’t you think? A guy hits forty and buys himself expensive toys to compensate for his loss of youthful virility…”
“Ah, trust me, you haven’t lost anything. In the dark I’d have thought you were seventeen again.”
“I hope my technique has improved some since I was seventeen.”
“Fishing for a compliment?” Still, she couldn’t help smiling, remembering their early fumblings. They’d been each other’s firsts. They’d learned together through trial and error. Lots and lots of trial and error, followed by even more trial and success.
She squirmed a bit in her seat and deliberately changed her line of thought. She didn’t want to get all hot and bothered again, not when they would soon be alone in a hotel room. She could only hope Josh would honor her desire to freshen up and return her to the reunion.
The hotel was nice, built only a couple of years earlier. As Josh let Natalie into his room, she noted the open suitcase on the bed as well as the faded Levi’s and golf shirt he’d draped over the back of a chair, probably the clothes he’d driven here in.
The bed was covered with a snow-white duvet, but the pillows had been rearranged. She could see him propped up in bed, probably shirtless, one arm behind his head as he channel-surfed.
Her mouth went dry and she walked briskly across the room, out of touching range. She tossed her purse on the bed and kicked off her shoes. “Guess I better get busy. You made quite a mess of me.”
“I think you look better than you have in your whole life.” The way he looked at her almost did her in.
No, no, no, she couldn’t succumb again. But she froze as Josh followed her, walking slowly, purposely, with a devilish intent obvious in his blue eyes.
But instead of reaching for her, he reached for her purse and opened it, snagging her cell phone and pulling it out. He extended it toward her. “Call Melissa and leave a message that you won’t be home until morning.”
A whole night with Josh? Did she dare? Or rather, did she dare pass up the chance? How much fun did she allow herself, anyway? Her life was devoted to her work and her child. Not that she and Mary didn’t have fun, but Natalie seldom did anything for herself.
One night with Josh. Melissa would know the truth, but so what? Even if she told their friends—and she probably would—Natalie was no longer a part of this community. It wouldn’t matter what they thought.
She opened the phone, located Melissa’s cell number and dialed it.
Chapter Three
“So what is it?” Natalie asked her gynecologist, pulling her sweater more tightly around her. “You’re not saying anything. I’m in early menopause, right?” When her doctor still remained quiet, Natalie became alarmed. “Is it something worse? Cancer? Am I going to die next week? What?”
“Oh, no, no, honey. I didn’t mean to scare you ’cause it’s nothing like that. I just didn’t know how to say it, but I guess I better just blurt it out. You’re pregnant.”
Natalie laughed. “Of all the people in the world, you know that’s not possible.” Surely Celia Brewster was kidding. She’d been Natalie’s doctor for close to twenty years, but more than that, the two had become friends.
Natalie’s laughter died as Celia stared at her with an unreadable expression. “It must be a mistake,” Natalie pointed out. “A lab mix-up. I could not possibly be preg—” She couldn’t even finish the word.
Celia’s steady gaze never faltered. “There’s no mistake. You are most definitely pregnant.”
Natalie couldn’t believe this. Pregnant at forty-three, when she was supposedly terminally infertile. She’d had sex exactly once in the last several years—okay, more than once if you got technical. She’d lost count of the number of times she and Josh had made love that crazy night of the reunion two months ago. But still…
“How is it possible, Celia? What about my underfunctioning ovaries? Women just don’t get pregnant at my age, even normal ones!”
“You’d be surprised how many women give birth in their forties. As for how you could have overcome your fertility problem, I have a theory about that. Remember when you first came to me as a patient? You were very thin and your periods were almost nonexistent. Underweight women often don’t ovulate.”
Natalie did remember Celia’s concern about her weight. But Natalie’s diet had been more than adequate. She just hadn’t easily gained weight and she was perfectly healthy in every other respect.
“Over the years you’ve put on a few pounds,” Celia continued. “I’m not criticizing—you looked a bit malnourished before. Now you look great and you’re healthy as a horse. But discounting the last couple of months, have your cycles become more regular?”
Frankly, Natalie had never paid that much attention. After adopting Mary, she’d put all thoughts of conceiving her own child out of her mind, so her cycle was inconsequential. But now that she thought about it, she had been more regular the last few years.
She nodded numbly.
“My theory is that in your late teens and early twenties, your body weight was slightly under what you would need to regularly ovulate. In addition, you were under tremendous stress.”
“Because of how badly I wanted to give Josh a baby, you mean?”
“And because you were so young, married, both of you trying to go to school and make ends meet.”
“My doctor at the time did say if I could relax a bit, it might help,” she admitted. “But I thought that was just something doctors said to nervous women patients.”
Celia laughed. “You’re right. But in this case, it’s true. Stress impedes ovulation, too. At some point, when your weight reached a certain level, your ovaries corrected themselves. Absent the stress of worrying about conception, perhaps you approached something like normal fertility. Only you never realized it, because you weren’t having unprotected sex.”
“I wasn’t having any sex.”
“Well, clearly, you’ve had some.”
Natalie groaned. What was she going to tell Josh? What was she going to tell Mary?
“Then there’s also the one-in-a-million theory. Yes, the chances of a woman your age conceiving are quite small. But the chance is there. Kind of like your chances of winning the lottery.”
“Great. Why couldn’t I have won the lottery instead?” But then it hit her. This was better than winning the lottery. She was going to have a baby. Right now, a life was growing inside her. She put a hand to her abdomen, and a sense of wonder replaced the shock and terror.
“Will it be healthy?” she asked in a small voice as her eyes filled with tears.
“You know the risks as well as I,” Celia said gently. “Babies of older mothers do bear some additional potential problems. But I intend to keep a very close watch on you and the baby. First thing, we’ll get you on prenatal vitamins.”
Celia rattled on some more about the various things they would have to watch, the tests Natalie would have to take, but Natalie was hardly listening.
A baby.
MARY BRIGGS ADDED a pinch more curry to the sauce she was making, then took a taste. “Yessss, I am so good.”
As she heard the garage door go up, she checked her watch, pleased that her mother was on time. She pulled a bottle of cold Chablis from the fridge, uncorked it and poured a glass for her mom, knowing how much she liked to sit and unwind after a long day on her feet taking care of her babies.
As her mom entered the kitchen, Mary greeted her with a big smile and extended the glass of wine. But her smile fell as she immediately knew something was up. Her mother’s eyes were glazed.
“Mom, what’s wrong?”
“Uh…what makes you think something’s wrong?”
Relief washed over Mary. “You look funny. I thought you’d had a wreck or something.”
“No, no accidents. Well, not auto accidents, anyway.”
“So something is wrong?”
“Not wrong, exactly. Just shocking.” Her mom set down her purse on the breakfast bar and sank onto one of the bar stools.
Mary set the wine in front of her. “You look like you could use this.”
Her mom stared at the wine longingly, then shoved it away. “Nope. No more wine. Mary, your mother has gone and done something very foolish. But at the same time…well, it’s kind of a miracle.”
Concerned, Mary studied her mom, who looked kind of dreamy and misty. “Are we getting a puppy?”
Her mom laughed. “Better than a puppy. I’m having a baby.”
Mary stared, stunned into silence.
“Mary?”
“You’re pregnant?” She should have guessed when her mom had called it a miracle. That was a word she used a lot whenever she talked about anyone having a baby. Holy guacamole. She hadn’t thought her mother was even sexual.
Mary stepped around the kitchen island and enveloped her mother in a hug. “This is so cool! I’m going to be a big sister.”
When they pulled apart, they both had tears in their eyes. Natalie grabbed a paper towel and wiped at hers, but they just kept coming. “I feel so stupid, having to break the news to my own teenage daughter. Usually it’s the other way around.”
Mary pulled up another stool. “I thought you couldn’t. Get pregnant, I mean.”
“I thought I couldn’t, too. Which is why, you know, I didn’t protect myself.”
“You should have anyway,” Mary said primly. “For other reasons. Oh, but who cares now. This is so cool. So, who is he? You’re not going to have to marry the guy, are you? That would be positively medieval.”
“Ah, no, I’m not getting married.” Her eyes shifted slightly so Mary knew there was more to come. “But would it bother you if I did get married again?”
Mary thought about it. She knew it was selfish of her, but she’d had her mom all to herself for so long, the idea of some guy hanging around all the time, bossing her around, didn’t sit well with her.
Still, she forced herself to be nice. “Mom, if you fell in love with someone and wanted to marry him, that would be fine with me. You have a right to be happy. But I wouldn’t want you to marry some guy just because he got you pregnant. It’s just not necessary.”
“No, I agree, it’s not. But I will have to tell him. It’s only fair.”
Mary wasn’t so sure. If there was to be a new baby in the house, she didn’t want to have to share it or her mom with some guy. “He won’t, like, want custody or anything stupid like that, will he?”
Her mom shook her head. “I can’t imagine he would.”
“So who is he?”
“I suppose you’ll find out sooner or later.” Her mother sighed. “It’s Josh.”
Mary hadn’t thought she could be any more surprised, but she’d been wrong. “Josh? As in Josh Carlson, your ex-husband?”
“’Fraid so. Honey, I smell something—”
“Oh, my sauce!” Mary rushed around to the stove and turned off the flame under her saucepan. She stirred the contents. It looked okay, if a little thick. “I think it’s fine. Are you hungry? What am I saying, of course you are. You’re eating for two.”
Natalie smiled. “I’m starving.”
She watched her daughter move confidently around the kitchen stirring various things. This hadn’t been nearly as difficult as she’d feared it would be. She’d anticipated Mary being horrified that her mother would get herself into such a compromising situation, or jealous at the idea of another child in the house. But she seemed to be happy about it.
She and Mary were closer than most mothers and daughters, perhaps because it had always been just the two of them. Natalie had shared a lot about her past with Mary, including the basic facts of her youthful marriage and her infertility. Maybe she shared too much, but confiding secrets to each other had come naturally.
“You saw Josh at the class reunion?” Mary asked as she set a plate in front of her mother.
“Unexpectedly. I’m afraid we let all the nostalgia sweep us away.”
“That’s kind of sweet, really,” Mary said, sitting down at the bar beside her mother with her own plate of food.
It was a lot of things, but sweet wasn’t an adjective Natalie would have used. When she’d awakened naked in Josh’s hotel room the next morning, depraved had been the first word that came to mind.
What the hell were we thinking? had been the first words out of her mouth. In hindsight, perhaps her outburst had been ill-considered. Josh had been insulted by her insistence she’d made a terrible mistake, and their parting had been awkward.
Another wave of terror washed over her as she thought about telling Josh the news of his impending fatherhood.
“Mom? Is the curry too hot?”
“Oh, no, honey, it tastes wonderful. You truly are gifted.” She took another bite of chicken, really noticing the taste this time.
“I’m gonna be a big help when the baby comes,” Mary said. “I’ll help you take care of it.”
“That’s really sweet of you, honey.” She caressed her daughter’s smooth cheek and stroked her shiny black hair. Mary was so beautiful, inside and out. “I’m sure I’ll need lots of help. But I’m not going to stick you with babysitting all the time.”
“We’ll work it out,” Mary said in her sometimes unnervingly adult way. “So when are you going to tell him?”
Natalie set down her fork. “I suppose I ought to get it over with.” She would have to do it in person. Delivering this sort of news in a phone call just wouldn’t do. That meant a trip to Houston and an overnight stay. “I’ll aim for next week.”
She would need at least that long to figure out what she was going to say to Josh. Hi, Josh. Remember how I laughed at you for being worried about birth control? The joke’s on me.
“I’M VERY SERIOUS, MONTY,” Josh said into the phone. He was speaking to a colleague, and he was playing hardball—the only kind of ball he ever played. “Ten million plus medical expenses is a perfectly reasonable demand. My client’s life will never be the same.”
His client was a seventeen-year-old boy, a classmate of his son who’d been attacked and badly injured by a Rottweiler. The dog’s wealthy owner was claiming the boy had provoked the dog, but it turned out the dog had a history of at least three attacks on visitors to their home. The dog owner did not have a leg to stand on.
Unfortunately, neither did Josh’s client, and he meant that in a very real physical sense. The dog had severed multiple tendons in the boy’s leg, which would require surgery and physical therapy, and even then he might not ever walk without a limp. The kid was going to suffer for years and his baseball scholarship was out the window.
This was the kind of case Josh loved, one where there was a clear-cut bad guy—and it wasn’t his client. He would almost welcome taking this one to court. A jury would have a field day.
“My client says one million,” the other attorney said. “Not a penny more.”
Josh laughed. “Call me back when you want to get serious about negotiations.” He hung up without waiting for Monty to respond. He wasn’t worried. This one was in the bag.
He loved his work. Even after all these years, he loved crusading for the underdog. Now that he was a full partner, he could be a bit more selective about the cases he personally took on. This one he was doing as a favor to a friend, but it was the kind of case he would have taken anyway.
The moment he hung up, his intercom buzzed and he picked it up. “Yes, Rachel.”
“Mr. Carlson, you have a visitor. She doesn’t have an appointment, but she said it’s a personal matter.”
Josh frowned. “What’s her name?”
“Natalie Briggs, from Dallas.”
Natalie. What the heck was she doing here? He was surprised, yet not displeased. Ever since their crazy night together in June, he’d been thinking about her—a lot. He hadn’t understood or been very sympathetic to her panic the morning she’d awakened in his room, though. In fact, he’d tried to interest her in more lovemaking. After a couple of hours of sleep, he’d been raring to go.
But Natalie had looked at him as if he’d suddenly grown scales and horns. Not that she’d blamed him for their salacious behavior; no, she’d heaped blame on herself for being impulsive and irresponsible and not at all like the sensible woman she’d become.
Josh hadn’t seen it that way. They hadn’t behaved irresponsibly, and what harm had it done, reliving a few happy memories? He would never understand women.
“Mr. Carlson?”
He shook his head to clear his thoughts. “Yes, Rachel. Go ahead and bring her back.”
He couldn’t wait to see what she had to say.
Less than a minute later, the receptionist showed Natalie in to his office. She wore beige linen slacks with a matching jacket, a pale lilac top underneath. Her long hair was pulled back from her face so tightly it looked as if it would cause her a headache. Her face was pale, her brown eyes full of doubt.
Josh smiled at her, trying to put her at ease. “Natalie. It’s good to see you again.” He meant that. Though they’d parted awkwardly, he wasn’t angry about it. She’d obviously been confused and overwhelmed. “Can I get you something to drink?”
She smiled tentatively. “Actually, if you have any water, I’m parched. It’s a scorcher out there.”
“I’ll get you a water,” Rachel said. “Mr. Carlson, anything for you?”
“I’ve got coffee, thanks.”
Rachel withdrew, and Josh stepped around his desk. “Would a hug be out of order?”
Instead of warming up to him, she took a step backward. “I can’t think when you get that close to me, Josh. And I need to think clearly right now.”
Josh felt the first real tendrils of concern. “Is something wrong?”
“Sort of. Well, not wrong, exactly. In fact, once I got over the shock I started to feel pleased about it. But I don’t know if you’ll agree.”
“Let’s sit over here.” Josh had a love seat and a couple of plush chairs in his office for more informal meetings. He led her to the love seat, snagged his cup of coffee from his desk and took one of the chairs for himself. Rachel returned with bottled water and a glass of ice for Natalie, then quietly departed.
Natalie busied herself opening the water and pouring. He could tell she was composing what she would say, and he let her. In his business he’d learned that silence was often more powerful than words.
She gulped down several swallows of water, then set the glass down with a clunk. “So, here’s the deal. Now, this came as a complete shock to me, because I really thought…I mean, given our history…”
Oh, God, was she ill? Did she need money for treatment? Was it her daughter, or her sister?
“Natalie, whatever the problem is, I’ll help you if I can.”
“I thought you’d be kind of mad at me after the way I acted at the reunion.”
He couldn’t help smiling. “Hey, when a woman gives you the best night of your life, it doesn’t tend to make you angry.”
She blushed and stared down at her lap. “I got a little freaky about it. I didn’t mean to.”
“It’s okay. I don’t understand women’s emotions and I probably never will, but I accept that you must have had a good reason for hightailing it out of the Holiday Inn like your underwear was on fire.”
“No, that was the night before.” She grinned sheepishly and he returned the favor, but her smile fled almost immediately. “This isn’t easy.”
“Nat, this is me, Josh, remember? We used to tell each other everything.”
She nodded. “That night, at some point you commented that I’d filled out, that I looked more womanly.”
“I always thought you looked fantastic, but a few extra pounds did nothing but improve you.”
“Well, apparently the fact I was too skinny years ago was affecting my, um, fertility.”
She let that revelation sit for a minute between them until Josh figured it out for himself. “Oh, my God.”
She nodded. “Yeah.” Then she gnawed on her lower lip and waited for his reaction.
“You’re sure?”
She nodded again. “I’m eight weeks along. So far, everything’s fine.”
“You’re sure it’s mine?” The instant the words left his mouth, he wanted to slap them back, but it was too late.
“Josh! Of course. What, you think I’m running around sleeping with all the doctors at the hospital?”
“Sorry. But I don’t really know much about your current life. I mean, it’s been a lot of years. I wasn’t trying to shake off responsibility or anything like that. I was just making sure I had all the facts.”
Pregnant. Natalie was pregnant with his child. How they had both dreamed of this moment. For the five years of their marriage, they’d talked of it almost constantly, and worked at it so often that sex had gone from pure pleasure to a source of stress and fear. They’d both wanted children so badly. But he’d never dreamed this moment would come twenty years later.
“How could this happen?” he asked. “Could a few pounds make that big of a difference?”
“My doctor said it was a combination of things. Being underweight and stressed out affected my fertility. Having some actual curves and being relaxed fixed things. As for my age…it’s not unheard of for women to conceive in their forties. We were just…lucky.”
“Lucky?”
Her face tightened and her eyes flashed dangerously. “Well, yeah, lucky. Damned lucky. That’s how I feel about it. Blessed, really.” She softened. “The timing is awkward, but once the shock wore off I was excited and looking forward to it. Mary is almost as excited as me. She’s always wanted a sibling.
“But, Josh, if you’re not too pleased and want to pretend this never happened, I completely understand. I mean, you’ve raised your kids—they’re almost out of the nest. You’re probably thinking about other things—travel, buying a boat—and a new baby wouldn’t be in your plans. So I just want you to know that I’m not demanding or expecting anything from you. If you want to be a part of this baby’s life, that’s wonderful. But if you don’t—”
“Of course I do!” he exploded, not able to listen to any more. “I can’t believe you would think for a moment that I’d be content to wash my hands of responsibility and send you on your merry way.”
She pressed her fingertips to her forehead. “I’m sorry, Josh. No, I didn’t really expect that. You were always very responsible.”
Responsible. The word seemed almost like a curse. “I’m not just responsible. I love kids, and I’m a helluva good father. I’m going to be a good father to this kid, too, whether you like it or not.”
Natalie sat up straighter. “I wasn’t trying to deny—”
“But you were hoping. I happen to think a child needs two parents. I had to raise mine without a mother, and if they’re turning out okay it’s not because we didn’t go through some tough times.”
“Okay, Josh! I agree, two parents are best.”
“Yet you adopted as a single mother.” Once again, he realized he’d spoken unwisely. What was wrong with him? He didn’t normally blurt things out.
“Because one parent is better than a crowded orphanage,” she said indignantly.
Orphanage? Did they even have orphanages anymore? “Whoa, whoa, let’s back up. I wasn’t meaning to criticize. I’m sure you’re a fabulous mother to Mary. And you’re going to be a fabulous mother to our baby, too.”
She unruffled her feathers slightly. “I’m going to try my darnedest.”
“There’s a slight problem, you know. We live four hours apart.”
“We can work that out. Weekends, vacations—”
“I don’t want to be a vacation dad, or a summer dad. I want to be a part of this child’s life every day. I need that.”
“We’re going to have to make some compromises,” she said reasonably.
“Like hell. The solution is to live near each other. Preferably on the same street.”
“You just made partner,” she said. “You can’t exactly pick up stakes and move to Dallas. And I’m not—”
“It’s more logical for you to move,” he said smoothly. “You’re a nurse. Nurses are in high demand everywhere. With your experience, you can get a job at any hospital in Houston.”
“I can’t move!” she exploded, jumping to her feet. “I’ve got a home in Dallas. Family ties. Mary is in a school she loves, with friends she’s known her whole life.”
He wasn’t surprised at her outburst. He wouldn’t want to have to uproot his life or his kids’ lives, either. But she would get used to the idea. One thing Josh knew how to do was negotiate, and he had just the lever to negotiate Natalie exactly where she needed to be. “I can’t make you move, I guess. But in the end, I know you’ll do what’s best for our child.”
Chapter Four
Natalie steamed through the entire drive home. How dare Josh demand that she give up her life, drag Mary out of her school and away from her friends, and treat her job like it didn’t matter? She’d been doing him a favor, informing him about the baby and giving him carte blanche to participate as much or as little as he wanted in their baby’s life. She hadn’t even suggested the possibility of financial support, though he probably earned at least five times her salary.
All in all, she’d been very reasonable and generous. And how had he reacted? By ordering her to disrupt her entire life, pack everything up and move herself and Mary to Houston.
She’d lived in Houston before, during most of her marriage to Josh, and she hadn’t liked it. Too hot and humid. Cockroaches bigger than your foot. Of course, no place was that attractive when you had no money for air-conditioning. Maybe it would be different now….
No, no, no. That was inconceivable. She couldn’t ask Mary to change schools halfway through high school.
She was no happier by the time she arrived home. She was exhausted from making the four-hundred-mile round-trip all in one day—she’d decided not to stay overnight after her argument with Josh. She’d been too restless to sit in a hotel room, and shopping or looking up old friends had been out of the question given her mood.
Natalie was tired and cranky by the time she arrived home. Of course, she was tired and cranky a lot lately. That was the reason she’d gone to see Celia in the first place.
Celia had warned her to expect more of the same. Pregnancy could be a bit more taxing for her than for, say, a twenty-five-year-old.
The smell of corn bread, though, made her smile. Mary was in the kitchen again.
Mary greeted her with a hug, managing to do it without dislodging the cell phone wedged between her ear and shoulder. “My mom’s home, I’ll call you back,” she said to whomever she was talking to, and disconnected. “Oh, poor Mom, you look done in. How did it go?”
“Not as happily as I’d hoped,” she confessed. “Whatever you’re cooking, I want some. I’m starving. And grateful, by the way, since I haven’t told you lately how much I appreciate the cooking and grocery shopping you do.”
“No charge. I bought some sparkling grape juice today, so you can pretend you’re drinking wine.”
“Oh, that’s so sweet.”
“So was Josh a jerk about it? Did he tell you to get lost?”
“No, nothing like that. He was a little too enthusiastic, in fact. Suddenly he’s super-dad.”
“Oh.” A little frown line appeared between Mary’s eyebrows. “That’s bad.”
Natalie sighed. “Not necessarily. It’s just that I’ve been making my own decisions for a lot of years now. To suddenly have someone trying to tell me what to do…I’m just not used to it and I don’t like it. We’ll work it all out.” The last thing she wanted was for Mary to worry. She was still just a kid, despite her comparative maturity for a sixteen-year-old.
Mary served up a cup of chili, a square of corn bread and a green salad, then made the same for herself. Natalie ate it greedily and felt better afterward. The worst was over. She’d given the news to the two people most affected by her pregnancy. Now she could start planning for the baby. She would have to convert the spare room to a nursery, but right now it was just a junk room, so that was doable.
So much to do, but the more she thought about it, the more excited she got. She had so enjoyed decorating Mary’s room in anticipation of her arrival. It would be even more fun planning it with Mary.
After helping her daughter with the dishes, Natalie was looking forward to a long bubble bath and turning in early with a good book. But she decided to check her e-mail, and she was shocked to find three messages from Josh.
With some trepidation, she opened the first one and read it:
Natalie—
Sorry if I came on a little strong. Your news came out of left field, and my reaction was hardly civil. I appreciate that you drove all the way to Houston to give me the news, and now that I’ve had a chance to think about it, I’m excited. We’ll talk more soon.
Josh
Natalie sighed with relief. So he hadn’t been really serious about her moving to Houston. Thank God. Although she’d meant it when she said she thought children were better off with two parents rather than one. It would be nice if Josh was closer.
She opened the second e-mail.
Natalie: I thought you might find these ads interesting. Please take good care of yourself and the baby.
Josh
He had copied several ads from an online job-listing site. One was advertising for a pediatric nurse at Children’s Hospital of Westwood, a Houston suburb. Flexible hours, it said. Salary commensurate with experience. Another hospital was looking for a neonatal unit supervisor with at least five years’ experience. She had that several times over, but the salary mentioned was significantly higher than her current earnings. A third ad, at a prestigious teaching hospital, was also looking for a neonatal post-surgical nurse. Competitive salary, great benefits, advancement opportunities.
Oh, wow. Natalie loved her job, but she had to admit she sometimes cruised job boards wondering if she could command a better salary. And with a baby coming, money would be in short supply. Of course, the jobs Josh had sent her were all in the Houston area.
Subtle, Josh, really subtle. She was almost afraid to open the third e-mail, but she did it anyway.
Natalie—
You wouldn’t believe the real estate bargains you can pick up in my neighborhood right now. One of the big telecom companies nearby closed down its offices, and homes went on the market right and left. Here’s a small selection.
Josh
Just out of curiosity, Natalie checked the ads, which he’d attached, complete with photos. Oh, my word, these were mansions—probably the type of house Josh lived in—but he apparently had no clue how much nurses earned. She couldn’t afford any of these homes, bargain or no. Although…she was a little surprised at the prices. They were lower than she thought they’d be. If she sold her house…No, no, no! This was so pointless. She was not moving to Houston.
Natalie shut down her computer and headed for bed. Her head hurt from all the decisions, all the changes coming at her as fast as a meteor shower. She stopped by Mary’s room to tell her good-night, then decided to have that bubble bath she’d promised herself.
But she couldn’t relax, not even with the soothing smell of lavender and her most sedate CD on the little boom box she kept in the bathroom. What if Josh was right? She agreed that it was important for a baby to have two parents, if there was any way to accomplish it. But was it more important than the life she’d built here?
She really couldn’t expect him to move, not when he’d just made partner. Never in a million years would he be able to get a position in Dallas that would be an equivalent. Plus, he had a son going into his senior year of high school. Uprooting him and the younger boy would be just as hard as moving Mary.
Yet Natalie could change jobs, and probably do better financially than she was doing now. She could employ her skills just as easily in Houston as in Dallas—where her baby would have a father. And she wouldn’t be all that unhappy to ditch her current supervisor, who was a real witch. A stick-in-the-mud, as Melissa would say.
She smiled, thinking about Melissa. She hadn’t yet told her friend about the pregnancy, but she was almost looking forward to it. She thought maybe she would do it in person, so she could see the look of shock on Melissa’s face.
“SO, MARY,” Natalie began, “how would you feel about moving into a bigger house?”
Mary turned to look at Natalie, a bewildered expression on her face. Natalie was driving her daughter to work at the diner where she’d gotten a summer job as a fry cook. “Leave our house?”
“Well, it’s a good size for the two of us, but with the baby coming I was thinking we might need to make a change.” Natalie held her breath, waiting for Mary’s reaction.
“Could we be in the same neighborhood?” Mary asked. “I mean, we wouldn’t move out of the district, right? We have to live in the district for me to go to the magnet school.”
“Well, actually, I’ve been looking at jobs in Houston.”
“What?” Mary exploded. “You’ve got to be kidding! What about the culinary arts program?”
“I haven’t made any decisions yet, because I wanted to talk to you about it first.”
“Then just forget about it!” Mary sounded on the edge of hysteria. “We can’t move to Houston. I refuse.”
Natalie had been afraid of this. Mary had been so calm about the coming baby, preternaturally calm. Natalie had feared something was building inside the girl, something that just needed the right trigger to burst out.
“I really think we should talk about this calmly,” Natalie said.
“Talk all day long if you want to. I’m not moving to Houston.”
“We don’t have to decide anything right now. We’ll just—”
“No, I won’t talk about it.”
“Mary, I’m surprised at you. You’re not usually so unreasonable.”
“Me, unreasonable? You want to ruin my whole life and then you accuse me of being unreasonable about it?” Mary almost screamed. They were stopped at a light about two blocks from the restaurant. Mary collected her purse, flicked open her seat belt and opened the door all at once. “I’ll walk the rest of the way.”
“Mary, wait—” But Natalie’s words fell on deaf ears. Mary was out of the car, standing on the corner, fuming, her whole body tense.
Natalie leaned her forehead against the steering wheel. Now Mary shows her teenage angst? Now, when Natalie’s life was being turned upside down by a baby and an ex-husband? Mary had a right to be upset, but Natalie had never expected her to be hysterical.
As the light turned green, she realized the game she’d played with Mary had backfired. She had already decided on the move. She’d found a job that paid thirty percent more than she was earning now, with fewer and more flexible hours. And she’d found a house she could afford only a couple of blocks from Josh’s home.
Actually, Josh had found the house. A friend of his had gotten a new job in another city, but he didn’t want to sell his home in a depressed real estate market. He’d been looking for someone responsible to rent the house, and was willing to give the right person a huge break on the rent. The rental would give Natalie plenty of time to shop for just the right home to buy.
Meanwhile, during the baby’s crucial early months of life, Josh would be nearby.
Natalie had delayed saying anything to Mary until she was positive. Then she’d thought she would ease into the subject, slowly, and make Mary believe she’d been part of the decision. But Mary was too smart for that. She knew if her mother wanted to move, they would move. So she’d gone on the offensive, striking hard and hitting close to the heart at the first opportunity.
The light turned green, and Natalie headed for the hospital. She hadn’t told any of her coworkers she was leaving, but they’d all noticed something was up with her. She would have to give her notice soon. Just what she needed—more people angry with her, more people pushing and pulling and trying to tell her what to do.
“YOU’RE GOING TO LOVE NATALIE,” Josh said. He and his two sons were about halfway between Houston and Dallas on I-45. Josh was driving while Sean and Doug sat in the backseat ignoring him, fighting over a video game just like they had when they were eight and ten years old. “I can’t believe I never introduced you to her before.”
“Maybe because she’s your ex-wife?” Sean snorted. “And that would have been just too weird?”
Doug snorted, too.
“Obviously Nat and I had our differences, but she was an important part of my past, part of what made me who I am. Besides, she’s great.”
Sean snorted again. “You said that. We know you’re all excited about having a new kid and all, but do we have to be?”
“Yeah, Dad.” Doug, who was normally placid and agreeable, was emboldened by his older brother’s attitude and was joining in the revolution. “This was the last weekend of summer. We were gonna go to the beach, and you wrecked that for us.”
Josh gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. He’d thought it was a great idea, enlisting his sons to help out with Natalie’s move.
“Nat has a teenage daughter. Once we get the heaviest stuff loaded, all three of you can go hang out somewhere fun for a while.” And he would get some time alone with Natalie, time to smooth over her irritation with him. Yeah, he’d pushed her to move. He’d found her the job opportunity that would entice her from her current position, and he’d even gone so far as to buy a house one block over from his and set a ridiculously low rent so she could afford to live comfortably in his upscale neighborhood. Of course, she didn’t know he was her landlord, and he felt slightly guilty for deceiving her. But he’d been determined to use any means, fair or foul, to get her down to Houston.
His child was going to have two involved, available parents, and that was all there was to it.
“What if the daughter’s a loser?” Sean asked.
Josh gripped the steering wheel tighter. “Number one, you know I don’t approve of making judgments like that. But as I understand it, Mary is very smart and very pretty.”
“And you heard that from her mother, right? Yeah, she’d be unbiased.”
“Look, I don’t care if this girl looks like Jabba the Hutt. She’s making a huge sacrifice, moving away from her school and her friends. I want you to be nice to her.”
“Dad, give us some credit. If she looks like Jabba the Hut, we won’t say anything. We’ll just make her walk ten paces behind us if we go anywhere.”
“Funny, ha ha.”
“Chill, Dad,” said Doug, who was usually the peacemaker. “We’ll be cool. It’s just one day.”
It wasn’t just for a day. With this child about to be born, their families would be forever intertwined. That thought both excited and scared him. Yeah, he was totally disrupting Natalie’s and Mary’s lives. But his was going to be dramatically altered as well. It was a damn good thing he’d already made partner, because he anticipated that when the baby came, he wasn’t going to be spending as much time at the office. Two a.m. feedings and diaper rash would occupy his mind and his time, making him less than one-hundred-percent efficient at his job. He remembered what it was like when Sean and Doug were babies.
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