The Midwife′s Glass Slipper / Best For the Baby: The Midwife′s Glass Slipper
The Midwife's Glass Slipper / Best For the Baby: The Midwife's Glass Slipper
Ann Evans
Karen Rose Smith
The Midwife’s Glass Slipper Karen Rose SmithDr Jared Madison would risk almost anything for his adorable twin girls. But what they really needed was a mother’s loving touch – and the gorgeous Texan was still too wounded by the past to take a chance on romance. Would his new midwife change his mind?Best For the Baby Ann EvansAlaina fell in love with Zack when she was nine years old. Only things didn’t turn out the way she planned. But when the abandoned mother-to-be is forced to head for home – and Zack – their mutual attraction can’t be denied. Could Zack be the family man she’s been searching for?
THE MIDWIFE’S GLASS SLIPPER
“Do you want children of your own someday?” Jared asked.
“I do,” she answered truthfully, but then realised she didn’t have to bear an infant to be a mother. She’d be perfectly happy mothering Jared’s daughters.
The thought stopped her cold. She hadn’t realised she was falling for Jared so completely. Or how his twins had captured her heart.
She’d better not weave fantasies and dreams. He didn’t want an involvement. She shouldn’t take the risk.
Just then, Jared’s pager went off. He checked the number. “It’s my mother’s surgeon. I’m going to go outside to call.”
She watched Jared as he hurried into the anteroom. Dreams of wedding bells and lace with a partner who was tender and passionate and who loved with all his heart could never come true for her. At thirty-two, she was too old to believe in fairy tales.
Wasn’t she?
BEST FOR THE BABY
“Zack. I’ve missed having you in my life so much.”
Alaina smelled wonderful, as though she wore some delightful cologne, but he knew it was just her. Some invisible scent he had carried in his mind for years.
His chest expanded with excitement as he pulled her even nearer. He searched her face for some sign that he should turn her loose. He could not see one.
“Zack –”
“Shh.” He brought a finger to his lips. “Don’t say anything.”
Swept by desire, Zack lowered his mouth to hers. All the pain and frustration and longing of years past were channelled into his kiss.
Alaina’s lips were warm, welcoming. Sweet. A craving for more of her, for all of her, roared into his head, blocking out everything else.
He deepened the kiss. He did not want to stop. He couldn’t.
There was no other woman in the world he wanted to kiss more than Alaina Tillman. And this moment would be a fair price to pay for whatever came later.
Available in May 2010 from Mills & Boon® Special Moments™
Once Upon a Wedding by Stacy Connelly & Accidental Princess by Nancy Robards Thompson
The Midwife’s Glass Slipper by Karen Rose Smith & Best For the Baby by Ann Evans
Seventh Bride, Seventh Brother by Nicole Foster & First Come Twins by Helen Brenna
In Care of Sam Beaudry by Kathleen Eagle
A Weaver Wedding by Allison Leigh
Someone Like Her by Janice Kay Johnson
A Forever Family by Jamie Sobrato
The Midwife’s Glass Slipper
by
Karen Rose Smith
Best for The Baby
by
Ann Evans
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Table of Contents
Cover Page (#ub5a2a7b6-4d8b-5267-8c89-f2ece2a7c82a)
Excerpt (#u3facb351-0970-5ddc-b99b-a5c80b7d3dd4)
Other Books by (#u9b9e3ad0-95a4-51e3-ba9c-c4c732869301)
Title Page (#u56086bc4-8597-5a51-82c3-b3da708e1032)
The Midwifes Glass Slipper (#u43a1c9a8-3430-5322-aa61-fd45e05a8a75)
About the Author (#u478c8add-1e2b-5d9b-8689-5745c9e92c4d)
Chapter One (#u9e0c5ce5-08e7-5d3b-ab1c-cecb6c03d2a0)
Chapter Two (#ua5019d5d-4970-5d2b-a52e-aae0ab8f3f36)
Chapter Three (#ue0b8f1b1-8d29-5a27-a5e1-9ae63df9624c)
Chapter Four (#ub1777109-d9b3-5c87-aa58-2d750d785f20)
Chapter Five (#u0684ac00-f431-5ed6-96c9-a382f18b17a5)
Chapter Six (#ua8abea17-172b-50d3-90fd-e861ceead5af)
Chapter Seven (#u5f96a19a-396b-523f-a388-f7b08a0953bc)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Epilogue (#litres_trial_promo)
Best for The Baby (#litres_trial_promo)
About the Author (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter One (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Two (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Three (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Four (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fifteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Sixteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Epilogue (#litres_trial_promo)
Preview (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
The Midwife’s Glass Slipper
by
Karen Rose Smith
Karen Rose Smith has seen more than sixty novels published since 1991. Living in Pennsylvania with her husband – who was her college sweetheart – and their two cats, she has been writing full-time since the start of her career. She enjoys researching and visiting the West and Southwest, where this series of books is set. Readers can receive updates on Karen’s latest releases and write to her through her website at www.karenrosesmith.com, or at PO Box 1545, Hanover, PA 17331, USA.
To my husband Steve – may we always believe in fairytales.
Chapter One
Rising from the desk in her office, Emily Diaz hurried into the hall at the sound of children’s laughter.
Dr. Jared Madison stood there, his shock of dark-brown hair falling over his brow, his tie askew. He held the hands of his identical twin daughters. Usually the epitome of calm and tact, he dropped the stuffed unicorn he’d clutched under one arm.
One of the little girls—both were dressed in Cinderella T-shirts and pink shorts—let go of his hand and warned, “Don’t step on Stardust!”
“I’d never do that,” the physician replied, his Texas drawl more evident this morning than it usually was. He spotted Emily as his daughter saved the unicorn.
Emily didn’t know quite what to say. Dr. Madison had hired her over seven months ago to be his obstetrical nurse practitioner. Ever since she’d interviewed for the position, she’d felt…a current between them, though Dr. Madison had never been anything but professional. She’d told herself more than once that she wouldn’t get involved personally because she valued her job and because…
She shivered to think of the consequences for her job if he learned her secret.
“Who are you?” the twin not clutching Stardust piped up. Both girls were adorable with light-brown hair and huge green eyes, the same color green as their father’s.
Without thinking, Emily dropped down to the their eye level, her own black, very curly hair flowing forward to tickle her chin. She kept it banded back when she examined patients, but this morning she’d intended to spend a quiet morning in her office catching up on paperwork. “My name is Emily, and I work with your dad.”
Everyone knew Dr. Madison had twin, three-year-old daughters, though that was about all they knew. He was a very private man. One very tall, broad-shouldered, sexy man.
Emily tried to ignore him as she concentrated on the two little girls. “What are your names?” She glanced up at the physician, hoping he wouldn’t mind her asking.
The twins checked with their dad and he gave a nod.
“Amy,” the twin on the left easily told Emily.
The little girl on the right poked her finger into her mouth, studied Emily for a few moments, then mumbled, “I’m Courtney.”
Amy added, “Daddy’s taking care of us because Grandma fell boom.”
“Honey, how about if you and Amy go into my office?” He opened the door across the hall and gestured the girls inside.
His daughters ran into the office as if they’d never been there before, peering at everything in sight—the floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, the long mahogany desk, the two comfortable padded chairs facing it, the old-fashioned car replicas on the credenza, the coffeepot and packet of sandwich cookies on a side table.
“Cookies!” Courtney cried with glee, heading toward them.
But Dr. Madison was quick. “Oh, no. You just had breakfast.”
Striding to his desk, he bent to one of the drawers, opened it and took out several sheets of blank paper. Then he reached into the pencil holder on his desk, plucking out two markers.
He pointed to the carpet at the side of the room. “How about if you draw for a couple of minutes while I find some toys in the waiting room?”
He glanced at Emily, still in the hall. After giving his girls the paper and markers, he met her at the door and lowered his voice. “My mother takes care of them and she fell this morning. Unfortunately, they saw it. The ambulance, too. They were upset and I couldn’t get hold of my cousin who watches them sometimes. I had no choice but to bring them in.”
He checked his watch. “I’m going to have patients to see in about fifteen minutes. I could try to reroute them to the partners—”
“I’ll watch the twins.”
As he studied Emily, she could hear every one of her heartbeats. She was wearing a cranberry suit this morning. She’d lost weight over the past year and a half because of everything she’d been through, but she still had a well-rounded figure. Usually it was covered by her yellow smock. Now it wasn’t. She didn’t know why she’d offered to watch his girls. Maybe it was because she missed being around babies and children. She took care of pregnant moms now, but she didn’t assist in deliveries. Back in Corpus Christi, in addition to being a midwife, she used to volunteer at the pediatric unit at the hospital. She thought wistfully of her old life—before the lawsuit and her divorce and the move to Sagebrush, Texas. She was lucky, she told herself, to live a short drive from these offices in Lubbock, at the Family Tree Health Center.
“Why would you want to watch them?” he asked.
She shrugged. “Because I like kids and I don’t have patients this morning. My first appointment isn’t until one. I don’t know what you’re going to do this afternoon, but I can cover the morning.”
Dr. Madison was a good six inches taller than she was. He looked down at her and suddenly smiled. “How do you know they’re not hellions on wheels?”
When she peeked around him into his office, her arm brushed his. Her heart practically stopped from the jolt of electric current. Had he felt it, too?
She quickly scanned what the girls were doing. They were drawing.
When Emily met his gaze again, she saw the glint of interest there. “They look more like cherubs than hellions, and from the way they settled down so quickly, I’d say they’re well behaved. But I have been known to be wrong. If I am, you can add a bonus to my salary.”
He laughed and seemed surprised he did.
Emily knew Dr. Madison was cordial with his patients. But he was usually serious otherwise. She’d gotten the impression that the lines around his eyes hadn’t come from laughing, though maybe they’d been deepened by it with his daughters. In his early forties, he was a widower. Emily wondered if his serious nature and the lines on his face had something to do with that.
“I’d be forever grateful if you could handle them for the morning,” he decided. “I don’t know if there are enough toys in the waiting room to keep them occupied for that long.”
“With LEGOs, a miniature farm set to play with and my origami skills, I think we’ll be fine.”
“Origami skills?” He grinned. “Have you been hiding your talents?”
The word hiding made her almost panic. Calm down! she told herself. This jumpiness was why she’d never had such a long, personal conversation with Dr. Madison. “Not so hidden. I did a science project on origami when I was in high school. In college, I took to it as an art. So as long as I have paper to fold, the girls might be a little fascinated.”
The doctor’s cell phone beeped a few times and he snatched it from his belt, opening it. “Excuse me,” he said to Emily. “It’s Dr. Garcia from the hospital. I asked him to call me as soon as my mother had X-rays.”
When he stepped outside the room, Emily stepped inside, but she was still aware of his cologne, still aware of his tall, lean physique, still aware of everything about the man whom she’d admired since he’d hired her.
She sank down to the floor beside the girls. “Tell me about your pictures.”
Courtney explained the boxy vehicle she’d drawn had come to their house with lights flashing. Amy’s picture, on the other hand, was a stick figure of a man with a stetho-scope around his neck. Anyone else examining the picture could have mistaken it for a necklace, but Emily guessed the girls had seen their father wearing it.
When Emily saw Jared had finished his call, she stood and went out to the hall again.
He was frowning, looking troubled. “My mother’s hip is broken,” he said gruffly. “After discussing it with her, they’ve decided to do surgery.” He sighed and raked his hand through his hair. “That means she’ll be in the hospital for a week, rehab for two. I have to get hold of my cousin to see if she’ll be willing to help out. She’s a free spirit, doesn’t like to be tied down, so I don’t know how this will play into her plans.”
“Dr. Madison, I’m so sorry.”
Their gazes met again and Emily felt a shiver of male-female awareness.
“You’ve been here long enough to call me Jared.”
“I didn’t think time had anything to do with it. You’re my boss.”
He gave her a half smile. “I am. But I think those stringent barriers have blurred a bit this morning. Is it all right if I call you Emily?”
She felt her cheeks start to flush. “Yes, that’s fine.”
“You could take the girls into the lounge,” he suggested.
In the very small room with a table and chairs and refrigerator, employees came and went. There wasn’t really enough room to gather, even if they had time.
“I think I’ll take them to my office. It’s bigger. Can they have juice? I know there’s some in the refrigerator.”
“Juice, but nothing else that’s sweet. I’m hoping the morning goes smoothly and I can buy them lunch at the deli.”
The Family Tree Health Center really was a center for specialty practices. Conveniently, there was a café on the first floor and a deli cart sandwich station on the second.
“If you get tied up, I’ll get them something.”
“Emily, do you know what you’re volunteering for? Children can be tiring and cranky.”
“And an absolute joy. We’ll be fine. Really. Trust me.”
A shadow passed over Jared’s face and Emily wondered whether trust was difficult for him. Why?
Trust wasn’t easy for her, either. In fact, except for her housemates, Francesca and Tessa, she usually kept to herself. It had seemed safer, especially in a new place. She had to remind herself Tessa was no longer her housemate. Her friend had gotten married and moved out last week.
“I’ll get the toys,” Jared said, grounding Emily in the here and now.
His gaze locked with hers again and she seemed mesmerized for a moment by the mysterious green of his eyes. Then he broke the spell and strode toward the reception area.
When Jared’s last appointment for the morning canceled, he was almost relieved. He had to see how Emily Diaz and his daughters were faring. He’d looked in on them briefly after their first hour with her, and they hadn’t even noticed he was there! Quite a feat, since after they’d lost their mother, they’d stuck to him like glue. It said something about Emily’s charm. She’d seemed so…robotic since he’d hired her. Maybe because he’d felt sparks he shouldn’t have felt when he’d interviewed her and she’d sensed his masculine interest. Yet, he told himself, there was no interest. With a failed marriage that had been mostly his fault, and his daughters to take care of on his own, he wasn’t about to get involved with anyone, not even a dark-haired, brown-eyed beauty who might ease his restlessness.
When he peeked into Emily’s office, he heard Amy’s awe as she said, “It looks like a swan. There’s a swan in one of my story books.”
“I think I know which one,” Emily offered. “The Ugly Duckling.”
Both girls nodded vigorously. “What else can you make?” they chorused.
Jared noticed the array of toys on the floor, a daily occurrence at his house, too. The August sun streamed in the window as his twins sat together in one chair beside Emily’s desk. She was just around the corner with colored sheets of paper splayed here and there.
When Courtney saw him she scrambled from her chair and hugged him around his legs. “Emily knows how to play with toys. She was a farmer.”
“She took the milk to market,” Amy piped in.
“Well, you have been busy. I happen to have an extra half hour freed up. I brought us lunch.” He opened bags on the desk and produced an array of food from sandwiches to salads to fruit cups.
As he settled the girls with a half sandwich each and some milk, he asked Emily, “Would you consider doing this for the afternoon, too?” Unbelievably, he did trust her with his daughters.
“I have patients.”
“I know you do. But Tom’s OB nurse is free this afternoon and he said he wouldn’t mind lending her to me and she’s willing to help. I know this is a lot to ask, but I’d really like to keep some continuity with the girls, and I still haven’t been able to reach Chloie. Sometimes, when she doesn’t want to feel tied down, she’ll leave her cell phone at home. So I have no idea where she is.”
Jared found himself studying Emily again, wanting to get to know her better. They were across the desk from each other, yet there seemed to be a magnetic pull that shortened the distance between them.
Emily chose a fruit cup from the lunch assortment. “Maybe you’d like to talk to Amy and Courtney and find out if they’ve been having a good time.”
“The smiles on their faces when I came in and their rapt attention to you told me all I need to know.”
She looked surprised by the compliment…as if she didn’t get many. Then she asked, “If I watch them this afternoon, do you mind if I take them for a walk down to the garden to look at the fountain?”
Jared hesitated.
“I promise I’ll hold their hands and never let them out of my sight. I know how precious children are, Jared.”
The sound of his name on her lips made his gut tighten. Damn, but he was attracted to her. “All right. But let me know when you leave and when you return.”
He’d lost people in his life. He needed to know his daughters were safe.
He instinctively felt they were safe with Emily.
Ever since he’d hired her, something about her had intrigued him. But he’d shut down that intrigue. He’d tried to turn off the current of electricity that vibrated whenever he got close to her. He was the boss. He shouldn’t be thinking anything but professional thoughts about her.
At the end of the day, Jared found his daughters with Emily in her office, building houses with glue and tongue depressors.
“Have you gotten hold of your cousin?” she asked as soon as she saw him. She lowered her eyes.
Was she trying to avoid the pull of attraction that he was feeling, too? He’d been away from the dating circuit for so long, maybe he was mistaking her kindness for chemistry.
“I’ve left messages for her. I’m hoping she’ll call me this evening.” Then before he even realized what he planned to do, he asked, “Can I repay you tonight with a take-out dinner? Or have you spent enough time in the company of kids?”
He’d never invited a woman back to the house with his girls. Actually, he was hoping for a little adult conversation that wasn’t professional in nature. How long had it been since he’d spent a casual evening talking?
Just talking? his conscience asked. He ignored it.
A light pink color rose to Emily’s cheeks as her gaze met his again. “I’d like that. But I should go home and change first.”
“There’s nothing wrong with what you’re wearing.”
Her eyes widened in surprise as if she hadn’t expected him to notice. Oh, he’d noticed all right. Her slim jacket delineated her breasts and molded to her waist. The tailored slacks fit her hips perfectly.
“I thought casual might be better with the girls.” Then she blushed. “I don’t even know where you live. Do you have a place here in Lubbock?”
“I don’t live far from the hospital. You live in Sagebrush, don’t you?”
“Yes. I share a house with two friends. Actually one now. Tessa got married last week.”
“Tessa McGuire? The pediatrician?”
“Yes. It’s Rossi now. Do you know her?”
“We’ve consulted a few times.”
“My other roommate is Francesca Talbot.”
He nodded. “The neonatologist. I’ve consulted with her more than with Dr…Rossi.”
“I met them after I took my job here. It’s more economical to share a house than—” Her cheeks grew a little pinker. “More information than you need to know,” she said with a small smile.
He found he wanted to know so much more about Emily, and that was dangerous. He never intended to marry again. And to get involved when he had little spare time seemed foolish. Yet she was so pretty with her curly hair, high cheekbones and big brown eyes. She had a great figure, too. His ex-wife had always been way too thin. Had the cancer started before anyone knew it? He should have looked closer…deeper.
Courtney took Emily’s hand. “Come home wif us?”
She hesitated as if she might be having second thoughts, then smiled. “It would be silly of me to drive back to Sagebrush to change. I’ll follow you if that’s okay.”
“Sounds good,” Jared agreed, determined to forget about the past at least for tonight and not think too seriously about kissing Emily. It was a good thing his daughters would be around as pint-sized chaperones. He really didn’t need an entanglement or a complication in his life, especially now with his mother in the hospital. He’d call her on the way home. He should stop in tonight… There were never enough hours in the day.
A half hour later, Jared set the takeout on his dining-room table. Emily was at his elbow, close enough to touch. He found the idea of touching her aroused him. His sexual urges had been in deep freeze for so long that he welcomed feeling alive again.
So much for pint-sized chaperones. They were already digging into their toy box in the great room.
“Girls, go on to the bathroom and wash your hands. I’ll be there in a minute.”
Jared went to the kitchen and Emily followed. “What can I do?”
Apparently she was a doer like he was. “Set the table?” he suggested, opening the cabinet that held dishes.
There were two sets—plain white ironstone dishes and then a collection of cream china with tiny blue roses.
“Oh, how pretty,” Emily commented.
“Those are my mother’s. She insists we use them every holiday. They have to be hand-washed.”
“You don’t like the tradition?”
“I never thought of it that way—as a tradition, I mean. When I was growing up—” He stopped short. “Traditions are okay as long as they bring along happy memories with them. Those dishes don’t.”
Emily looked puzzled, but he wasn’t going to go into his background. Not now. Probably not ever.
“I understand you’re a widower,” Emily said. “How long has it been since your wife died?”
He stopped for a moment, startled because she’d been so direct.
“I’m sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned it. It’s one of the pieces of information everyone at Family Tree has about you.”
“One of the pieces?” He lifted dishes from the cupboard, not knowing whether to be amused or annoyed.
He could see Emily was flustered, but she went ahead anyway. “Everyone seems to know you’re a widower and have three-year-old twin girls.”
“Three and a half,” he amended. “And if that’s all ‘everyone’ knows, I guess I should consider myself lucky.”
After setting the dinnerware on the counter, he leaned back against it and crossed his arms over his chest. As soon as he did it, he knew it was a defensive gesture. He was feeling defensive. Still, Emily’s honesty prompted the same kind of honesty from him.
“Two years ago I was divorced. Six months later my wife died of cancer.”
“I’m so sorry.”
He uncrossed his arms and let them drop to his sides. “Valerie had had custody of the girls and I had liberal visitation rights. But taking over their full care was a real shocker.”
“I imagine it must have been.”
Usually he didn’t want to talk about this with anyone, but he found discussing the situation with Emily wasn’t so bad. “My mother stepped in to help. Honestly, I don’t know what I would have done without her. Hired a nanny, I guess. That’s what I’m going to have to do now until she’s back on her feet. I set up an interview with someone from a service tomorrow afternoon.”
That was certainly enough about him. He wanted to know more about Emily. “I remember from your application that you were from Corpus Christi.”
“Yes, I was born and raised there. I’d never lived anywhere else until I moved to Sagebrush.”
“Culture shock?”
“From east Texas to west Texas, beach to plains. I’m getting used to it. I’m even beginning to like it.”
“You intend to stay here?”
“I hope to. I like my work. I’ve made great friends. What else could a girl ask for?”
There was something in Emily’s eyes that told him she might like a lot more, children maybe, a family. He noticed she didn’t wear perfume, not the kind other women wore, anyway. But she always smelled like a summer garden. Maybe it was her shampoo. Maybe something she dabbed in intimate places.
They were standing close, close enough that if he leaned forward just a little—
But she suddenly caught her breath. He leaned away. Then he cleared his throat and, feeling as awkward as a teenager, mumbled, “I’d better see what trouble the girls are getting into.” If that wasn’t an exit line, he didn’t know what was.
When he and Amy and Courtney returned to the dining room, he stopped short. Emily hadn’t just put food on the dishes; she’d set places, napkins included. She’d found a place mat from somewhere, put that in the middle and piled the entrees on platters and the sides in serving dishes. Instead of the plastic forks and spoons from the restaurant, she’d used real silverware.
“I hope you girls are hungry.” She pulled out a chair for each of them so they could hop on. She pushed Amy in while he helped Courtney.
Leaning close to him, she said in a low voice, “I thought the girls would have trouble eating with the plastic forks.”
“Are you used to spending time with children?” She seemed to know exactly what to do.
“I’ve never had any of my own, but when I was in Corpus Christi, I volunteered in a pediatric ward when I had time off.”
So that’s how she’d spent her free time. He was seeing facets of Emily he’d never had time to explore.
“Have you ever been married?” he asked as he pulled her chair out for her.
She looked surprised he’d done the gentlemanly thing. It had been a long time since he’d wanted to do the gentlemanly thing.
“Yes, I was married. I’ve been divorced about a year.”
Now it was his turn to ask a blunt question. “Is that why you moved here?”
This time she didn’t hesitate. “I needed a fresh start.”
His hands were on the chair back, close to her hair. She was looking up at him over her shoulder. He was so tempted to push her curls away from her face, to erase the little frown line on her forehead, to tell her he understood about wanting a new beginning.
Yet he’d figured out the past dogged him no matter where he went, or how badly he tried to forget. Did her past dog her, too?
The urge to ask her was strong and on the tip of his tongue when the cell phone on his belt beeped. He almost swore, and then he realized he should be glad for the interruption. This evening was becoming intense and personal.
Straightening, he unhitched the phone, checked the number and held it to his ear. It was his service. Crossing to the counter, he found a notepad and a pen and jotted down the number.
He said to Emily, “I think Lubbock is about to have a new citizen who doesn’t want to wait until its due date. I have to check with the mother-to-be. Go ahead and start eating.”
As he dialed his patient, he noticed Emily asking the girls what they wanted and then selecting their food for them and helping them with it. She was so conscious of what they needed…such a natural with them.
When he finished on the phone, she took one look at his face and asked, “Do you need me to stay with the girls?”
He didn’t want to ask her to do that. He certainly didn’t want to depend on her. If he examined his reasons, they were simple. Today he’d felt a connection with her—a connection that was getting stronger each minute he was with her.
Seeing that the girls were occupied with eating, she pushed back her chair and came over to stand by him. “It’s really all right if you need me to stay. I don’t have any other commitments.”
“I don’t know how long this will go. The contractions are three and a half minutes apart, but this is her first baby. Anything can happen.”
“Tomorrow’s my day off. If you’re not back until late, I’ll just fall asleep on the couch.”
If he was late and if she fell asleep on his couch, something could happen that would startle her awake very fast.
He lowered his voice. “Have you ever heard of night terrors?”
She studied him. “They’re a type of children’s nightmare.”
“Yes, in a way. Though the child often doesn’t remember the nightmare after he or she wakes up. Courtney has them. I can’t let you stay without warning you about them. And if you don’t want to deal with that, I’ll have to find another doctor to cover for me.”
He fully expected her to be put off by the idea, to want to pick up her purse and leave. Instead, she said, “Explain to me what to do if Courtney has one. As long as I’m prepared, I can handle the situation.”
Jared was starting to realize that he’d examined Emily’s résumé, phoned her brief reference list and hired her, but he didn’t really know her.
Tonight, that could change. He wasn’t sure whether he should get to know Emily better…or not.
Chapter Two
Opening her eyes, Emily heard her name as if from a great distance.
“Emily, it’s midnight.”
The feel of Jared’s hand on her shoulder sent tingles throughout her body that brought her awake quickly.
Crouched down beside her, he wore scrubs and smelled as if he’d freshly showered. In fact, his hair was still damp. His muscled arm lay next to hers, almost touching it. His thigh muscles were obvious against the blue cotton fabric. Most of all, she noticed his eyes. They were so green, lighter at first, then more intense, more filled with—
Desire? She hadn’t seen desire in a man’s eyes for a very long time.
As he leaned closer, her anticipation was as rich as the hunger and need in his eyes. But then he stood and ran his hand over his brow.
She sat up but she didn’t want to get her purse and say good-night. She wanted to know if she was right about the vibrations between them.
She patted the sofa next to her. “You look beat. Decompress a little. Tell me about the birth.”
When he gazed at her, his eyes were filled with something she didn’t understand. Questions. What would he be questioning?
“You really want to hear?”
“Sure! Babies are our business. What’s most important to my pregnant moms is what kind of delivery they’ll have and if their baby will be healthy. I like to hear what happens after they leave my care.”
“I never thought of it that way. You don’t usually see the finished result.”
An ache enfolded her heart. She so missed seeing the finished result. “I go to the hospital nursery and take a peek. Sometimes the moms bring babies back to the office to visit after they’re born. But for the most part, I don’t know what happens after they leave me.”
“Tonight was a breeze for a first baby. Leanne’s contractions were two and a half minutes apart when I got there. Her husband was a great coach and she had good focus. By eleven thirty, she had a baby girl, and I was ready for a shower.”
“What do you feel when it happens?”
He appeared startled for a moment and then gave her a long assessing look. “No one has ever asked me that.”
She could see that was true and she wondered why. After all, that feeling was the reason she had delivered baby after baby as a midwife. That feeling was what made it all worthwhile.
He glanced down at his hands as if he was trying to relive the birth. The fatigue left his face. “It’s an unexplainable moment. It’s a moment when something you believe can’t possibly happen, does. It’s a moment when life is precious and men understand why they live and fight and die for what they hold dear.”
“It’s a moment,” she murmured, “when heaven meets earth.”
He studied her and she realized she’d said too much. She should tell him she knew firsthand all about that moment. Yet because of the lawsuit, he might not want her practicing with him. If she told him her history, this closeness she was feeling to him right now could simply vanish.
“You sound as if you know.”
“I’ve attended births.” She didn’t add that she was the one who had caught the baby in her hands.
His shoulder brushed hers as he admitted, “In that moment when a child is born, I forget the long hours and the hassles and the schedule shuffling. I guess most of life is that way. We work for the payoff, and if the payoff keeps us satisfied, we keep doing it.”
“It’s more than a payoff.” She remembered the feel of that little wet body in her hands…the eyes coming open…the first cry. How she missed it. How she wished she had the courage to go back and be part of delivering babies all over again.
Jared angled toward her. They were close enough to feel each other’s breath. “You really do understand.”
“I take care of moms and teach them how to take care of themselves for a reason.”
His large hand was so gentle as he stroked her cheek and pushed her curls away from her face. “I’ve never met anyone like you, Emily. Not everyone can understand the joy of holding a baby. You make what you do and what I do sound like more than a profession. You make it sound special and worthwhile.”
“It is.” She wanted to say more…she wanted to tell him that’s why she’d gone into women’s homes to help them have their babies there. She yearned to say that she’d believed in home births because light and love and friendship could surround the newborn before, during and after the moment of birth. Yet she’d come to doubt that ideal. She’d come to doubt her judgment and skill. With those doubts lurking, she could never do it again. She’d be more prone to making a mistake. Mistakes were unacceptable when you were bringing a child into the world.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
She tried to blank her mind because he’d read it too well. “Nothing.”
“You looked lost for a moment.”
Not lost, she wanted to say. Not when I’m with you. But she couldn’t. It was too soon. The feelings were taboo. He was her boss.
Still, any thoughts of boss and employee, of too soon or not soon enough, evaporated as he leaned still closer. “Emily, I don’t know what it is about you.”
His lips were just a breath from brushing hers. “I don’t know what it is about you,” she whispered back.
His arm went around her, strong and protective. She nestled into it as if she belonged there…as if she belonged with him. When he tightened his embrace, his eyes were serious. But his mouth was curved in a small smile as if he were anticipating everything they were about to do.
She felt that same breath-hitching expectancy. The wait for his kiss was life-changing. In that moment, she put her divorce behind her. She took the present in her hands and hoped for a future that could include Jared. Her thoughts surprised her, almost as much as the touch of his lips on hers.
So many sensations bombarded her at once. The pressure of his lips was firm. The texture of his skin was taut and warm. The hunger behind his first touch was restrained, yet pulsing to be let loose. She readied herself for it. Then she realized, she couldn’t be ready for it.
As his mouth opened over hers, as he demanded a response, as she got lost, she couldn’t think about what she was doing. All she could do was give back whatever he asked. When his tongue stroked hers, she eagerly met each exploration. When he angled his head a little differently, her hands rose to his shoulders and then brushed into his hair. She held on to him so he could take her wherever he wanted to go.
He couldn’t seem to get enough. She could feel her skin getting hotter, her cheeks flushing to match his level of arousal. They were both revved up and ready for more. But when his hands moved to her waist and inched her blouse out of her waistband, reality became a pressing concern. As soon as his hand touched the skin of her midriff, she wanted nothing more than to let him finish what they’d started. Yet she knew she couldn’t. This was her boss. She needed her job, secret or no secret, and she’d just put it in jeopardy. How could she get out of this situation without looking like a foolish teenager who didn’t know what she was doing?
But just as Jared had seemed to read her before, his hand slid away from her, his tongue ceased exploring and his mouth—although his lips clung a little—broke off their kiss. She heard his rough sigh.
Then she opened her eyes to gaze into his.
He turned from her slightly, rubbed his hand over his chin, shifted away, then focused on her. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
It seemed as if the words were hard for him to say, as if he didn’t want to say them but knew he had to.
“I shouldn’t have let you.”
“It will not happen again,” he said as if reassuring himself of that. “This isn’t an excuse, but I’ve never met anyone who understood that moment of birth like you do.” He rubbed his hands on his thighs. “This won’t affect our working relationship. I mean, you don’t have to worry about your job.”
That was a relief but didn’t address the attraction still simmering between them. “We can’t pretend it didn’t happen.”
“No, we can’t. I’ll remember it every time I look at you. But I can control my actions.” He glanced toward the kitchen and the message machine. “Did you get any phone calls tonight from Chloie Madison?”
“No, I didn’t.”
He looked troubled.
“That’s your cousin?”
“Yes. I need her tomorrow.”
Should she offer to help or not? Should she step in deeper or move away?
Yet, thinking about how she’d loved taking care of Amy and Courtney, she offered, “I can help.” But perhaps her help wouldn’t be wanted after what had just happened. “My day off is tomorrow,” she reminded him. “I can look after the girls if you need me.”
She saw in his eyes that he needed her in a much more basic and intimate way. But then the spark of desire diminished and control took its place.
She added, “I usually just run errands on my day off. But after what just happened, I’ll understand if the situation is too awkward.”
He seemed to think about the pros and cons. “The truth is—I’m surprised you’re still here.”
Emily certainly couldn’t say she didn’t run from problems. That’s exactly what she’d done with the whole mess in Corpus Christi and her divorce. But she liked to think she was mature enough to face a problem without turning away from it. “What happened between you and me doesn’t have to affect me watching your girls. You have surgeries in the morning and won’t even be here.”
“I’m interviewing a nanny in the afternoon, but that’s at my office. Are you sure you’ll feel comfortable with this?”
Jared Madison demanded honesty. She’d learned that over the months she’d worked with him. “I like Courtney and Amy. I’ll be comfortable here.”
He nodded and pushed himself up from the sofa away from her. “All right. I’ll take you up on your offer. But I’ve got to tell you, I don’t like being in debt to anyone. I’ll pay you. Your time is valuable, too.”
“No,” came out of her mouth before she had time to think about it. “I don’t want any payment. Let’s just say we’re doing this friend to friend.”
After he studied her again, really studied her, he nodded. “All right. For now. But I will find a way to repay you.”
She really didn’t want him to repay her, and she suddenly realized why. The crush she’d had on him, if she could call it that, was turning into something else. Now that she was getting to know him, could she be falling in love with him?
That question scared her too much to even consider.
The following afternoon, Jared tapped his loafered foot under his desk, impatient though he shouldn’t be. This woman sitting across from him could be Courtney and Amy’s next nanny, although he couldn’t quite imagine it.
“You’ve lived in Lubbock all your life?” he asked Mrs. Brunswell, a sturdy woman in her early fifties with gray hair that stood out around her head like a fuzzy halo.
Very straight in her chair, she answered him, “Yes, all my life. I’ve no desire to go anywhere. Some people want to see the world. I make myself happy right here in Lubbock.”
Would she curb the girls’ curiosity about the world? Would she make them think Lubbock was all there was? On the other hand, it was good to be happy where you were. He was second-guessing himself, trying to find the perfect person to take care of his daughters. If he had to admit it, he’d already found her. Emily would be perfect. But she had a job that he knew was important to her, even though he wondered if she wouldn’t be better suited working in the hospital, helping to deliver babies.
The older woman sat forward in her chair. “You said you have twins, Dr. Madison. The first thing to do with twins is to show them that they are individuals. It’s much better not to dress them alike and not to let them spend all their time together. They also need to explore individual talents. If one takes piano lessons, the other should take clarinet. They deserve their own instrument. Do you know what I mean?”
Courtney and Amy liked to dress alike. They didn’t have to. They had plenty of clothes in their closets, but they chose to wear the same outfits on the same days. They liked to be with each other. They played with other children and would be doing more of that when preschool started next week. But they preferred each other’s company. Should he really interfere with that? What would Emily think?
He moved to the next point on his checklist. “In my occupation I have unusual hours. Would you be able to cook supper for them if need be?”
“I can cook, but I don’t make chicken nuggets and French fries. I cook good meals—pork and sauerkraut, spinach and zucchini casseroles, lots of vegetables, good protein, few potatoes. I have to cut out those carbohydrates, you know.”
Jared thought about Emily serving the takeout food. He thought of Emily, helping cut Courtney’s meat. He thought of Emily retying the bows in Amy’s hair. What kind of meals would Emily cook if given the chance?
In spite of the restraint he’d been employing ever since last night and their earth-shaking kiss, he’d tried to keep his mind strictly on the practical aspects of his day. But he could not just drop that kiss from his memory. He couldn’t just push it into a closet and lock the door. It kept peeking out. It kept unsettling him. It kept reminding him he was a man with needs. Just thinking about it aroused him and that had to stop.
Pork and sauerkraut. Spinach. Caring. Playing. Connecting.
“Do you know children’s games?” he suddenly asked.
“I can play gin rummy and crazy eights,” Mrs. Brunswell replied, as if those were the only games required.
“I’m thinking of outside games, too—hide-and-seek, scavenger hunts.”
“Oh, I suppose we could do those.”
Fair or unfair, he was getting the feeling that Mrs. Brunswell might keep an eye to the TV while she played crazy eights with her charges. She looked slow-footed to him as if running after a child would take a great deal of effort.
Jared’s cell phone beeped and he was glad for the interruption. “Excuse me,” he said to Mrs. Brunswell. Then swiveling away from her, he checked the number. It was Emily. “What’s wrong?” he asked, worried.
“Nothing’s wrong. The girls are fine. I’m fine. We’re having a great day. Two things,” she said quickly. “First of all, your cousin Chloie called.”
“Why didn’t she call my cell?”
“She just got around to checking her messages and didn’t have your number in her contact list. The good news is she can help you. She’s on South Padre Island meeting with a client and will be back tonight. She can take care of the twins tomorrow. She said she’s caught up on her Web design deadlines and can take a break.”
“Thank goodness,” he muttered, glad he didn’t have to find a nanny right away. “And the second?” Hearing in Emily’s voice the sweetness, caring and enthusiasm, he knew he could never hire Mrs. Brunswell.
“Second,” Emily went on, “I’d like to take the girls to the park this afternoon. I’ll be very careful with them, keep my eyes on them all the time. The fresh air would be good for them.”
He suddenly realized he trusted Amy and Courtney with Emily because they couldn’t stop talking about her, because of the expression on her face whenever she was with them. Whatever the reason, it was gut instinct. His gut instinct was telling him to dismiss Mrs. Brunswell. If Chloie could watch the girls until his mother was on her feet again, he wouldn’t need to hire a nanny. “The park will be fine. I’m going to check in on my mother and then I’ll be home.”
After he closed his phone, he concentrated on Mrs. Brunswell again, searching for the words to tell her he wasn’t hiring her.
Emily felt like a mom and loved the feeling! With the Texas-bright sun peeking around the clouds, she helped Amy from the swing, then took her hand and Courtney’s. They walked through the grass to the merry-go-round. Although she felt like a mom, she wasn’t. Soon Jared’s daughters would be under someone else’s care. “You’ll be playing with Chloie soon. That should be fun.”
“Are you going away like our mommy did?” Amy asked.
This was dangerous territory. Emily didn’t know enough about the situation to speak with the girls about it. At three and a half, how much could they remember about their mother?
“I’m not going to go away. I’m going to go back to working where your dad works.”
“Mommy ran away and never came back,” Courtney informed Emily seriously.
Was that how Jared had explained their mother’s absence? Had they heard adults discussing it? She didn’t believe Jared should just let them think their mother went away and never came back. Yet Emily knew she had no right to discuss this with them.
“Is Grandma coming back?” Amy wanted to know as they reached the merry-go-round.
“Your grandma hurt herself and has to have an operation. She might have to go to a special hospital for a little while before she can come home.”
Courtney and Amy exchanged a glance as if this had been something they’d been worrying about. These two had a special bond and Emily hoped it would last throughout their lives. She’d often wished for a sister. She’d lost her dad to a construction-site accident when she was in high school. Her mom had died of an aneurysm a year before she and Richard had married. Looking back at her life, Emily wondered if she’d worn blinders and hadn’t seen Richard’s faults because she didn’t want to be alone in the world, because she’d wanted to cling to that one person who was supposed to always stand beside her. But he hadn’t. And by the time the lawsuit had been resolved, she’d realized how different their values were.
After Emily pushed the girls on the merry-go-round, they tried out the jungle gym while she sat on a concrete bench and watched. Suddenly a deep male voice behind her said, “They look as if they’re having fun. Maybe I should get some equipment like that for the backyard.”
Emily swiveled on the bench and looked up into Jared’s penetrating green eyes. He was studying her loose-fitting red blouse and jeans, and she felt as if he were seeing more than her outside appearance. He’d apparently left his suit jacket in the car and rolled up his shirtsleeves. His tie was pulled down a little and the top button of his shirt open. Could he possibly know how sexy he looked, standing there with the sunshine gleaming on the russet strands in his dark-brown hair?
She returned her attention to the girls. “I think they’d enjoy a play set in the backyard.”
Angling around the bench, he sat beside her.
They were silent for a few moments; then he commented, “It’s been a long time since I’ve sat in the sun and watched them play. I think I’ve forgotten how to relax. I’m usually getting them dressed, feeding them, rushing off somewhere.”
“You don’t have to rush off somewhere now?” she asked.
“Not for a few hours. I have to return to the hospital later to check on patients. Can you stay through the evening?”
The more she was around Jared, the more she wanted to be around Jared. “I can stay.”
“Good, then why don’t I cook us an early dinner?”
“You cook?”
His eyebrows shot up. “You doubt me?”
“No, but are we talking about more than hot dogs or scrambled eggs?”
He laughed. “How about chicken Alfredo? We’ll stop off at the market on the way home and get what we need.”
“You shop, too?” she teased.
He shook his head. “I can see someone’s been giving you a mistaken impression of grown men.” She went quiet.
“Your ex-husband didn’t shop?”
“No, he relied on me for that.”
After a few heartbeats, he asked, “How long were you married?”
“Six years. I met Richard when I was working toward my nurse practitioner certification.”
Jared stared straight ahead, his gaze on his twins as he asked casually, “Have you dated since your divorce?”
Was he personally interested or just making conversation? “No, I haven’t dated. I’ve been trying to get my life back on track.” She waited a few moments, then took the opportunity to ask, “Have you dated?”
“No, I’ve been too busy to think about it.”
Now he turned to study her, his gaze steady on hers. She read the flicker of desire in his eyes, a hunger that told her he was telling her the truth. It had been so long since a man touched her intimately, since a man had kissed her like Jared had kissed her last night. On second thought, she’d never been kissed like that before.
“There’s chemistry between us,” he said simply.
“I know.”
“It’s hard to ignore.”
They both had agreed to do that. But with her just sitting here beside Jared, her attraction to him and his to her was palpable.
She saw a shadow pass over his face. “What?” she asked softly.
“I was thinking about how my marriage ended. Valerie couldn’t accept the time I spent away from home. She hated the phone ringing in the middle of the night. Our plans were disrupted lots of times by my work, and I can understand how that disappointed her. My profession was the reason why we divorced. It’s an obstacle to any relationship. ”
Emily absorbed that, then suggested, “Unless the woman you’re dating understands.”
There was a longing in Jared’s eyes now. Maybe it was the longing to believe her. Maybe it was the longing to have a mother for his children. Maybe it was a longing he didn’t believe he could ever satisfy.
Maybe, she guessed, he was sorry he’d brought up the subject because suddenly he stood and called, “Amy! Courtney! Let’s go home. Too much sun and you’ll look like red beets.”
Emily smiled as the girls giggled. The tension between her and Jared eased. Yet she couldn’t stop thinking about his kiss. Would a second kiss be even more potent than the first?
She might never know.
Chapter Three
Emily felt odd walking beside Jared down the grocery store aisles. He was acting as if this were an everyday occurrence! Her heart raced every time he glanced at her.
In the pasta aisle, he asked, “Angel-hair pasta or linguine?”
How could that question be so sexy on a man’s lips? Their eyes locked for an interminable moment as the twins scampered around them.
Her mouth suddenly dry, she replied, “I like linguine.”
“Do you have Italian in your soul?” he drawled, his Texas upbringing obvious.
Before she could answer, Emily’s cell phone rang. She checked the caller’s name. “It’s Francesca,” she murmured.
Leaning close to her, close enough that she could breathe in the scent of his musky cologne, Jared said, “If you need privacy, we’ll keep shopping and meet you at checkout.”
Emily was so tempted to touch the beard shadow on Jared’s jaw…to straighten the collar of his shirt. But that freedom wasn’t hers. Grateful that he understood her need for privacy, she stood still as he moved down the aisle and she answered her call.
“Francesca? Is something wrong?”
“No, nothing’s wrong. Tessa and I wondered whether anything was wrong with you. I’ve hardly seen you for two days. We were beginning to worry.”
“I left you a note on the refrigerator that I’d be taking care of Dr. Madison’s twins,” she protested, feeling defensive.
“I know. But it’s not like you to be out of touch. Are you having fun?” her friend asked, less concern in her voice now.
“Actually, I am. They’re two adorable little girls. He’s done a good job raising them. He and his wife were divorced before she died, but he doesn’t seem to want to talk about it.”
“So what are you doing now?”
“We’re shopping at the grocery store. He’s going to cook for me and the girls tonight.”
“Cook for you?” Francesca hesitated a few moments, then asked, “Is something happening between you and Jared?”
“I don’t know,” Emily responded honestly. “But for now, we’re just being practical. He’s going to cook and I’ll probably end up with the cleanup.”
“You’re staying the evening?”
“Do you miss me so much?”
Francesca was quiet and Emily knew something was on her mind.
“What?” Emily asked.
“It’s about Jared…”
Emily knew Francesca was hesitating because she didn’t like gossip any more than Tessa or Emily.
Emily waited.
Finally Francesca said, “I’ve heard he has no time for anything serious…that his divorce really affected him and that the last thing he wants is to get involved with anyone long term.”
“He has his daughters to think about,” Emily replied quietly.
“Yes, he does,” Francesca agreed. “I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“I haven’t taken many risks in my life,” Emily admitted.
“And you want to now?”
“It’s too soon to tell.”
“You know you can call on me or Tessa if you need us.”
Emily did know that.
She checked on Jared’s progress. He’d just reached the checkout line. “I’d better go.”
“Have fun. But stay safe.”
Emily’s throat closed a little at her friend’s concern. “I’ll try.”
A few seconds later, Emily hunkered down beside Amy, who was reaching for candy bars. “Do you really think your dad would want you to have three?”
Jared heard Emily’s question and raised his brows at his daughter. He lifted his index finger. “One candy bar. You and Courtney can share it. Okay?”
Amy flashed him one of her best grins.
As he helped the clerk put the groceries into a bag, he asked Emily, “Did Francesca think you were abducted by aliens?”
“Not abducted. She was afraid I went willingly.”
He laughed out loud. “Thank you, Emily. I don’t know when the last time was I really laughed.”
“You laugh with the girls.”
“That’s different.” His shoulder bumped hers as they transferred bags to the cart. “I’m glad I’m getting to know you better.”
“I’m glad I’m getting to know you…and Courtney and Amy,” she added hastily.
But the intense look in his eyes and the tightening of his jaw told her there was something going on here between the two of them that had nothing to do with his daughters.
On the way out to the car, Jared carried the bags. Emily held Amy and Courtney’s hands as they crossed the parking lot. She held on firmly.
Suddenly, right in front of them, a car’s backup lights flashed, signaling the driver was backing up.
Emily swung the girls to the side out of danger.
Jared hurried to her. “I didn’t see his backup lights at first. Sometimes I’m in too much of a hurry. Thanks.”
The gratitude in Jared’s eyes drew her closer to him, to the pull that was so strong between them.
Emily was struck by the stark difference between Jared Madison and her ex-husband, Richard. Jared thought about the people around him before he thought about himself. He didn’t hesitate to say “thank you.” She could probably count on one hand the times Richard had said “thank you” during their marriage, and she wasn’t exaggerating. Richard had expected things of her. He’d expected her to act in a certain way, have sex when he wanted it and play the hostess when his work demanded it. Gratitude and appreciation never entered into it.
“What?” Jared asked in a low voice as if they were the only two people in the parking lot.
“Nothing,” she murmured, knowing this wasn’t the right time to reveal details of her marriage.
“I don’t believe that was a nothing that crossed your mind, but I’ll let it go for now.” Moving toward his sedan, he pressed the remote to open the doors.
Why did Jared Madison move her so? How would he react if she revealed everything about her past?
After today, they’d probably both go their separate ways. His cousin would be taking care of the girls until he could find a nanny or until his mother was on her feet again. Emily would be put back into her colleague slot. She realized that definitely wasn’t where she wanted to be.
An hour later, Jared asked, “What do you think?” as he offered her a taste of the sauce on a wooden spoon. He had changed into a Dallas Cowboys T-shirt and boot-cut jeans.
And she was having trouble keeping her mind on what he was cooking, rather than him.
He held the spoon while she took a taste, all the while her gaze on his. The heat she felt came from the two of them, not the electric burner.
“It’s delicious,” she managed to say, then added lightly, “You might have to give me cooking lessons.”
He gave her a wry smile. “My repertoire is limited.”
“Did your mom teach you?”
His shoulders stiffened. “No. When I was in med school, I either had to learn to cook or starve.”
“Does your mom cook along with taking care of the girls?” Emily was trying to get a sense of his life.
“Most of the time. I give her a break on weekends if I can.” He stirred the sauce thoughtfully, and after a glance at her, he went on. “I told you my marriage broke up because of the long hours and my profession. I was just wondering. What broke up yours?”
Terror struck Emily because the obvious reason her marriage ended had been the lawsuit brought against her. Yet as she took a calming breath before replying, she realized the root of her problem with Richard had been something else.
Jared’s voice turned gentle, his eyes serious. “You turned so pale. Was your husband abusive?”
She didn’t want to give Jared the wrong impression. “No, he wasn’t abusive. But he was…I think he felt entitled. When we got married, he felt entitled to certain privileges. He felt entitled to being superior over me. At first we both had our jobs and I played the trophy wife whenever it suited him. But then the—” She stopped abruptly. She’d been about to say that the lawsuit had changed everything.
“Go on,” Jared prompted.
She shook her head. “I’m making it sound as if it were all his fault. It wasn’t. I think the trouble we went through made us realize we wanted different things in life. My dad died when I was in high school and I missed him. I think I married Richard hoping to replace that hole in my life.”
“Was your husband older?”
“Just five years. But enough that when I met him, I felt like the naive one, the one who could learn from him about a world I’d never seen, about a world I didn’t know—corporate America and all that.”
Jared stirred the sauce again, then gazed at her through the wisps of steam. “I can’t imagine you as a trophy wife.”
She laughed. “Now it’s hard for me to imagine, too.”
Still, Jared wouldn’t let her escape from serious to light in the space of a moment. “This man you married must have been blind not to have seen the independent woman underneath.”
“You’re kind.”
“I’m honest.”
Yes, he was, and she felt as if she were keeping something important from him. Yet if she told him, wouldn’t everything change? She’d had enough changes lately and wasn’t going to run breakneck speed into this one. Francesca had warned her that she needed to be careful.
The dinner was delicious and the girls seemed to enjoy it, too, especially winding the pasta onto their forks. Emily showed them how to catch it with their spoons and they giggled throughout the whole process. After they finished eating, it was time for them to get ready for bed. Emily knew, as with most children, that could take a while.
She told Jared, “You cooked. I’ll clean up. That’s only fair.”
Jared’s smile showed his appreciation as he took the girls into their room.
Emily was drying the huge spaghetti pot when the twins came running out to the kitchen.
“Daddy said we could say good-night and we can give you a hug, too,” Amy added.
Settling the pot on the counter, Emily hugged each of them, warmth filling her heart. Yet she felt an aching, too. She longed to have children of her own…to be a mom.
After she kissed them both good-night on top of their heads, they ran back to their dad.
When Jared returned to the kitchen, he asked, “How about a pot of coffee? I have about a half hour before I have to leave, unless you want me to get going so you can leave sooner.”
She enjoyed his company so very much. “No. Coffee would be great.”
“My mother’s into specialty flavors. Not my thing, but it’s all we have right now. Chocolate caramel or cinnamon mocha?”
“Chocolate caramel.”
“That’s her favorite.”
“Are you worried about her?”
“Sure. But I’m optimistic, too. She’s strong and healthy. She just landed badly.”
“I’ll bet she’s scared.”
“Of the surgery, you mean? Mom’s not scared about much. She’s a tough lady. How about yours? You said your dad died when you were in high school. What about your mom?”
“I lost her before I got married—an aneurysm.”
“I’m sorry.”
She still missed her mother a lot. The memories would come in waves, making her sad but giving her fond remembrances, too. “I truly felt like an orphan after she died. Sometimes I think we need our parents as much when we’re adults as when we were kids.”
An undecipherable look passed over Jared’s face. She sensed a reserve in him about his mother, maybe even the possibility that they didn’t get along. What could be the reason? She took care of his children, so he must trust her. Did he not want to depend on her?
Apparently the subject had become too personal, because he turned away from it and away from her, snagging two mugs from a mug tree. Soon they’d carried their mugs into the great room and settled on the sofa, a few inches apart.
“So, tell me about growing up in Lubbock,” she said to make conversation.
His mouth tightened into a thin line. He set his mug on the table in front of them. “Growing up was growing up.”
“If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine.”
He ran his hand through his hair. “No. Sorry. I didn’t mean to snap. Probably growing up in Lubbock wasn’t much different from growing up in Corpus Christi. Without the beach, of course.”
“Brothers or sisters?”
Again he frowned, and she had the feeling she’d better stop asking questions or he’d clam up and not tell her anything.
But he answered her. “No brothers or sisters. But I always had good friends until I returned here to practice and got too busy to make them again.” He laid his arm along the back of the sofa, and his fingers almost touched her hair. Not almost. He was touching her hair. “I like when you wear your hair loose rather than in a ponytail or a bun.”
“Loose just doesn’t seem professional for work.”
His fingers were in the curls now, sliding through them, testing their texture. Then as if he realized what he was doing, he stopped. “I’d forgotten how nice an evening could be, doing something other than consulting on a case. You’re easy to be with, Emily.”
She didn’t know quite what to say with him sitting there so close, the scent of male cologne tempting her closer. His muscled upper arms were evident under his T-shirt. His long legs were angled slightly toward her, his booted feet reminding her he was a Texan. Easy wasn’t the word that came to her mind. They had to work together. If they took this any further—
A child’s scream rent the air.
Jared was up and off the sofa so fast he disappeared into the twins’ room before Emily was even in the hallway.
She hurried after him. Amy had awakened and was wide-eyed. Jared was at Courtney’s bedside, not attempting to wake her.
Emily sank down beside Amy on her bed.
Courtney was sweating and Emily could tell she was breathing fast. Her eyes were wide open, but she appeared not to see her dad. Jared had sat down on the bed next to her, untangled the sheet from her arms and was stroking her hair. As Courtney cried, the sound broke Emily’s heart.
Emily wasn’t sure how long she sat there watching, wishing the episode to end for Courtney’s sake, as well as Jared’s. Amy had curled up beside Emily, and she found herself murmuring to her, “She’ll be okay.”
Amy nodded, maybe knowing that more surely than Emily.
Finally, after what seemed like hours, which might have only been fifteen minutes, Courtney turned into Jared’s shoulder and her crying ceased. He kept stroking her hair comfortingly. While he still murmured consoling phrases, he tucked her in. When Courtney was sleeping peacefully once more, he kissed his daughter’s forehead.
Emily stood, made sure Amy felt cared for and tucked in, too, and met him out in the hall. “That is so scary. Not just for her, but for Amy…and you.”
“Usually Courtney doesn’t remember anything about it. I consulted with a sleep psychologist. She said not to wake her, just comfort her and help her return to sleep when she seems ready. This happens more when she’s overtired before she goes to bed.”
“Was it my fault?” She’d played with the girls in many different activities.
“No, it just happens, usually in the first few hours after she goes to sleep.”
“How long will this last?”
“I was told that most children outgrow them as they get older.”
“Seeing one in progress is much different than reading about it on the Internet.”
“I know, and I was worried about Amy seeing them. But when I tried to separate them, Amy would sneak back into the room and sleep on the floor next to Courtney’s bed. She’s protective of her sister.”
They began walking toward the great room. There Jared studied Emily. “I’m surprised you didn’t leave the room.”
“How could I? Amy needed to feel she was safe, too, and to know Courtney would be all right.”
“Sometimes I don’t feel as if I’m giving either of them enough.”
“You’re wrong about that. From what I’ve seen, you’re a great dad.”
For a few moments, he seemed to search for the truth in her eyes. He must have seen what she was really feeling.
Lifting her chin, he kissed her.
At first it seemed like a light kiss, maybe a thank-you kiss, maybe a no-one-has-said-that-in-a-while kiss. But as soon as their lips met, the sensual pleasure of kissing him again kicked up Emily’s pulse. The kiss must have done the same to him. He wrapped his arms around her and brought her tight against him. His T-shirt and her blouse were thin barriers to all the heat they were generating. So much heat, so much desire, so much pent-up longing.
When he broke the kiss, he shook his head. “I never intended for that to happen again, but the chemistry between us seems more powerful than good intentions. I’ll understand if you want to work under another doctor in the practice rather than me.”
“I don’t want to work for anyone else, Jared.”
He looked relieved for a moment. Then the creases along his eyes deepened. “You have to understand something, Emily. The last thing I want to do is get involved with anyone.”
Had his marriage been so rocky that he didn’t want to consider marrying again? Had his divorce been so painful? Had he still loved his wife but she hadn’t wanted to be married to a doctor?
Emily had her own doubts about the way she was starting to feel about Jared. Was it too soon after her divorce? Was she seeing qualities in him that weren’t really there? How could she trust her judgment after Richard?
“You have a lot on your plate,” she responded. “Your daughters, your mom, your profession. I’m trying to get my life back in order. I’ve only begun to build it again here. So we’ll deal with this—” she waved her hand “—chemistry. We’re adults. We hardly see each other in the office, except to go over patient charts.”
“So all I have to do is go back to looking at you as a colleague again.” His mouth quirked up at the corners.
“Right, and I’ll just see you as my boss.”
After a long studying appraisal, he broke eye contact and checked his watch. “I’d better get going so you can go home at a decent time.”
Crossing to the counter, he picked up his car keys. “My cell number’s on the refrigerator. Don’t hesitate to use it if something happens. Courtney doesn’t usually wake up more than once in a night.”
“I’ll just handle her like you did if she does.”
He nodded and went to the door. After a last, prolonged look at her, he left.
Emily knew they were both deluding themselves. Chemistry wasn’t easily kept under wraps.
Unless Jared wasn’t feeling the intensity she was. If that was the case, then there was nothing to worry about at all.
Midafternoon the next day, Emily was escorting a patient to the desk to make a follow-up appointment when the door to the reception area opened. Jared’s daughters came running in, followed by a striking blond woman who looked to be in her forties.
“Emily!” they cried when the twins saw her.
She stooped down to greet them. “What are you doing here?”
“See Daddy,” Amy said with certainty.
Chloie extended her hand. “You must be Emily Diaz. I’m Chloie Madison, Jared’s cousin. He asked me to bring the girls in because he might not get home until after they’re in bed tonight.”
Jared came out of his office and saw them standing in the hall. “Way past their bedtime,” he said, and crouched down to tickle them both and give them a hug.
After he straightened, he explained to Emily, “My mother’s having surgery this afternoon and I’m going over to the hospital for the rest of the day.” He took the girls’ hands and led them to his office. “You can tell me all about what you did this morning with Chloie. About fifteen minutes,” he mouthed to Chloie.
She nodded.
Then he disappeared to spend some time with his daughters.
Chloie and Emily moved to an alcove in the hall. “Am I keeping you?” Chloie asked.
“No, I had a cancellation.”
“I hear you witnessed one of Courtney’s night terrors. Scary, isn’t it?”
“Yes, it was. But Jared handled it so calmly.”
“I’ve watched him a couple of times myself, so I think I’d know what to do if she has one when I’m there. It still spooks me a bit, though.”
“I’m concerned about Amy as well as Courtney,” Emily said.
Chloie nodded. “That makes sense. She’s connected to her sister in ways we’ll never imagine. That’s the way twins are.”
“Did you and Jared grow up together?”
“Yes, we did. I was two years younger but we were friends and watched out for each other.”
“Are you friends now?” Emily knew she was prompting a bit, prying too much maybe, but she was curious about Jared’s life and his relatives.
“After Valerie died, he became a totally different person.”
“In what way?”
“He put walls up where there shouldn’t have been walls. He didn’t try to reach former friends who lived here. He said all he cared about was doing a good job and helping his girls grow up strong.”
“It’s not unusual to withdraw when you lose someone you love. Even though they were divorced, he must have still cared about his ex-wife.”
“It was the way he lost her,” Chloie said.
“The way?” Emily questioned.
“I shouldn’t say any more. You’ll have to ask Jared about it if you want to know. Secrets have hurt Jared more than once in his life. That’s why he doesn’t trust easily and why he rarely lets anyone get close.”
Rarely lets anyone get close. Emily wondered about her own secret and what effect that would have on Jared. Should she tell him now about what had happened in Corpus Christi?
She remembered their second kiss and how it had made her feel…how Jared made her feel. Yet he’d clearly told her he didn’t want to get involved.
Did she? Hadn’t Richard shown her men walked away when marriage got hard? Hadn’t he abandoned her when she’d needed him most?
If she was smart, she’d forget about getting involved with Jared at all. Finding another job wouldn’t be all that easy. She liked her life here.
Yet something about Jared tugged at her.
The question was—would she give in to the tugging?
Maybe. But she’d also keep her secret to herself.
For now.
Chapter Four
Emily entered the surgical waiting room at the hospital and spotted Jared immediately.
She watched him as he walked to the rack on the wall, took out a magazine, flipped through the pages and slid it back into its place without really looking at it. Then he crossed to the window, stared out into the dusky twilight and jammed his hands into his trouser pockets.
She went to him, watching her reflection take form next to his, not knowing how he’d feel about her being here. “Jared?”
When he turned, he looked surprised. Then he scolded her. “You should be at home having dinner.”
Maybe she should be—for more than one reason. She didn’t belong here with him. Her heart would be safer at home. She wouldn’t feel as if she should reveal anything about her life to him.
But after her last patient of the day, she’d thought about Jared sitting by himself, waiting for his mother to come out of surgery. No one should have to go through that kind of crisis alone.
“I wanted to stop in and visit Leanne and her baby.” Jared had delivered their patient’s little girl last night. “How’s your mother?”
“She’s in Recovery. I won’t be able to see her for about an hour.”
“You don’t like waiting, do you?”
His mouth curved up a bit. “I suppose that’s obvious. No, I don’t. I’m used to taking action, not sitting and waiting for another doctor to do his work.”
She glanced at the cup of coffee sitting on the table. “How many cups have you had?”
“I lost count. Maybe four. I shouldn’t have had any. I’m ready to pace the room until I wear out the soles of my shoes.”
“Do you want to take a walk? The air might help the caffeine buzz.”
Two nurses passed by the doorway as he thought about it. “Are you sure you have the time?”
“My time’s my own. Francesca’s tied up with the Neonatal Unit.”
“And you don’t like going home to an empty house.”
Was she that easy to read? “No, I don’t. The truth is—it seems empty since Tessa moved out. I mean, we all work erratic schedules, but with three of us, someone was always there. I miss her.” Emily shrugged and smiled. “But she and Vince are happy and they’re in the process of adopting two wonderful kids.”
“Didn’t you say they just married recently?”
So Jared was one of those rare men who listened. “Yes, they did. But the adoptions were sort of in the works before they married. Vince had unexpectedly become legal guardian of his best friend’s little boy, and Tessa had been on an adoption list. She got the call right before they married.”
“That’s a lot to take on.”
“Their story’s a complicated one, but they’re exactly where they want to be.”
Jared seemed pensive for a few moments. After he glanced out the window again, he decided, “I think I would like to go for that walk.”
A few minutes later, they passed through sliding glass doors outside into the August evening. A breeze tossed the edges of Emily’s collar. She and Jared turned simultaneously toward the sidewalk that led past a row of live oaks. Lampposts illuminated their way.
Suddenly Jared stopped and took her arm. “Thank you for coming by. I was getting really wound up and this is helping.”
His fingers were hot on her skin. His touch sent a deliciously warm thrill through her. She felt breathless, her pulse quickening as she looked up at him and their gazes held.
The green of his eyes darkened and he blew out a breath. “I keep telling myself we’re going to have a professional relationship and then you look at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like you’re thinking about whatever happens whenever we get too close.”
Jared meant physically, but she knew the chemistry happened when they got close emotionally, too. She and Richard hadn’t really connected emotionally. But she and Jared…
A bond was growing between them that she couldn’t deny. He released her arm. Emily missed the physical contact but she could think more clearly. They started walking again.
“I had a talk with Chloie,” she offered.
Jared sent her a sharp glance. “About?”
“Amy told her I was there when Courtney had her night terror. Chloie just said she knew how frightening they could be and that she learned from you how to handle them.”
His tone was strained as he asked, “Was she questioning why you were there?”
“Oh, no. Why would you think that?”
He walked in silence for a few steps. “I got the impression when Valerie and I divorced that Chloie thought we hadn’t tried hard enough.”
“What did you think?”
He grew pensive. “I think we hit a stone wall. I couldn’t change my practice or my dedication to my patients. Valerie was a new mom with twins and I couldn’t be there as much as she wanted me to be there to help her. I wanted her to hire someone to help, but she didn’t want to do that. She made up her mind about the divorce without much discussion. Once Valerie decided something, there was no convincing her to change her mind.”
He sounded bitter about that. Just because of the divorce? She couldn’t ask more questions without prying, and she didn’t want to do that. “Richard asked for our divorce and he’d made up his mind, too. But by that time, I knew we didn’t have much left.”
“Marriage is an ideal most couples can’t live up to.”
Darkness was gathering around them, creating intimacy even though they walked on the public sidewalk. Emily found herself adding in a lower voice, “If two people have the same values and goals and outlook, I think it can work. My parents were happily married. I thought I would be. But I think I wanted somebody to love more than I wanted to look at who I was and who Richard was and how we could fit together.”
“You’ve given this a lot of thought,” he observed.
“I didn’t like failing. I had to figure out what went wrong, why we couldn’t stick it out through…” She stopped, then finished with “the hard times.”
He looked as if he might want to question her about what those times were, but he didn’t and she was glad. This wasn’t the time or place to go into what she was hiding from him.
“Chloie told me you used to play together when you were kids, but then you were out of touch for a long time.”
“Yes, we were. We reconnected at my stepfather’s funeral. She was his brother’s daughter. We aren’t blood cousins.”
As they walked farther away from the hospital, the quiet night surrounded them. The wind picked up, whipping by them. That morning Emily had fastened her recalcitrant curls into a bun. Now the longer they walked, the more strands the breeze pulled free. She stopped for a moment to refasten a few.
Jared stopped, too, watching her. “Don’t. Just let it free.” He turned toward her just as she looked up at him.
“Damn,” he muttered but reached down anyway and fingered a loose tendril. “Your hair is so touchable.”
The compliment reached down inside her and warmed all of the cold places where Richard’s put-downs had hurt most. She hadn’t been admired for being a woman for a long time. And Jared’s words felt good, but they also warned her that chemistry between them couldn’t be stifled easily, maybe couldn’t be stifled at all.
He proved that when he slowly ran his thumb over her cheek. She could have stood there all night letting him touch her and he looked as if he wouldn’t mind doing it.
“Maybe we’d better get back,” she said softly, knowing that was the safer thing to do.
“Maybe we should,” he agreed almost reluctantly.
“I want to stop in and see Leanne and her baby,” she reminded him.
He nodded and they turned around to return the same way they’d come. This time they walked in silence, the current that Jared’s touch had created zinging back and forth between them.
What was it about this man that made her feel wild and passionate and free? How long had it been since she really felt free? Yet it was more than the sexual current between them she was attracted to. There was a gentleness about him when he dealt with his daughters. That was as sexy as his tall Texan look, his broad shoulders and his hungry kisses. Yet she could tell by his restraint when he’d ended them that he didn’t intend to get more involved with her.
Why was she so drawn toward him when her marriage had turned out badly? Didn’t she remember Richard’s concern for his own reputation rather than what she was going through? She’d felt so raw when he hadn’t comforted her. She’d felt so separate when he’d gone to cocktail parties and left her with the stress of the lawsuit. She’d felt so alone during much of her marriage. When her divorce had been finalized, she knew she’d rather be alone than risk being abandoned again.
But then she’d met Jared. He’d awakened every sensation she’d thought she’d put to sleep.
As they rose in the elevator to the maternity and nursery floor, he admitted, “Courtney and Amy miss you.”
“I miss them.” Amy’s smile, Courtney’s hug had made her feel as if her heart was expanding. Before her interaction with them, she hadn’t realized how much she wanted to be a mom.
“Any luck with the nanny search?”
“I don’t want just anyone. I want someone who can take care of the twins as if they were her own.”
Emily knew exactly what he meant. It was obvious when adults were pretending to like children and when they really liked them. She and Francesca and Tessa really liked kids. They could all spend an afternoon with Vince and Tessa’s little boy, Sean, and their little girl, Natalie, and have a roaring good time. And Emily loved stopping by the toy store to buy them gifts.
Jared led her to the nursery, first checking in with the chief nurse at the desk. They used their security cards to access the nursery. After they donned sterile gowns, masks and caps, they walked past the little cribs, some fitted with blue bedding, some with pink. Emily wanted to pause at each one of them to just stare and appreciate each miracle of life. That’s what these babies were—miracles—each and every one of them.
“Do you stop in here often?” Jared asked her as he waited for her in front of a baby girl’s crib. Leanne and her husband, John, had named their little girl Olivia. He picked up the sleeping baby and cuddled her in his long arm.
“Every time one of our patients has a baby.”
He glanced at her, held her gaze for a moment. “You want to see the pregnancy to its conclusion.”
Yes, she so much wanted to. She so much wanted to be a midwife again. That was really seeing a pregnancy to its conclusion. It was almost doing what Jared did. There was nothing in the world like it. But now she had doubts about her judgment. She had doubts about why a baby had died under her care. The Wilsons’ lawyer had looked back at previous pregnancies and pointed out another patient that Emily had, at the last minute, sent to the hospital for a cesarean. After hours of testimony, and the investigation by the licensing board, the attorney had her believing she’d missed something there. By the time Richard had doubted she was the same woman he married, she hadn’t been sure of her judgment in making any decision and taking care of anyone, let alone being the professional she’d always wanted to be.
But now, consulting with Jared during a woman’s pregnancy was almost as good. She didn’t want anything to jeopardize the happiness she’d found again in her work.
“When I listen to the heartbeat of a baby in a mom’s womb,” she responded, her voice betraying her emotions, “I can’t wait to see who that little being is going to be. Don’t you feel that way?”
His gaze passed over her, assessing what she’d asked. “I’ve never looked at it like that, but I suppose I do. I can’t wait to catch that infant in my hands, let the parents know what they’ve created together and see which parent’s features that baby has. For most couples, one of the happiest moments in their marriage is when their baby is born. I like being part of that.”
She knew exactly what he meant, but she couldn’t tell him she knew. She couldn’t tell him she had delivered babies, too. She’d come across some doctors, some obstetricians who had looked at midwives, who had looked at her, as if she belonged in a medieval time—especially the midwives who attended home births. Jared couldn’t be one of those doctors, could he?
Even if he was accepting of midwives, even though she’d been judged not guilty of any malpractice, the lawsuit had left a shadow that hung over her professional reputation. Maybe it always would.
“Do you want to hold her?” he asked, his eyes twinkling at Emily over his mask.
“I’d love to hold her,” she replied softly.
As he transferred the baby to Emily’s arms, they almost embraced. Jared’s large hand supported the baby’s head and brushed against her almost intimately as he laid Olivia in her arms. Emily went still inside as she concentrated on the precious bundle. Jared’s hand slipped away. Cuddling the newborn, Emily crooned to her, welcoming her into the world.
The infant yawned and her pink, little lips settled into a perfect bow.
“Do you want children of your own someday?” Jared asked.
“I do,” she answered truthfully, but then realized she didn’t have to bear an infant to be a mother. She’d be perfectly happy mothering Jared’s daughters.
The thought stopped her cold. She hadn’t realized she was falling for Jared so completely. She hadn’t realized how his twins had captured her heart.
She’d better not weave fantasies and dreams. He didn’t want an involvement. She shouldn’t take the risk.
Just as Emily laid Olivia back in her crib, a knot forming in her throat, Jared’s pager went off. He checked the number. “It’s my mother’s surgeon. I’m going to go outside to call.”
She watched Jared as he hurried into the anteroom, as he stripped off the protective gown and mask and cap, as he pushed the button on the sliding glass door to step outside the nursery. With a sigh, Emily looked down at Olivia and brushed her finger over the baby’s little hand.
Were dreams of wedding bells and lace with a partner who was tender and passionate and who loved with all his heart a fairy tale that could never come true for her?
At thirty-two, she was too old to believe in fairy tales.
The house that Tessa and Vince had bought to begin their married life was a fixer-upper. But along with the first coats of paint and Vince’s newly mastered skill of hanging wallpaper, the newly weds filled the house with love.
On Saturday afternoon, Emily carried a tray with dishes of chicken salad and fresh fruit onto the wraparound porch.
“Where did Vince take the kids?” Emily asked as Francesca brought a smaller tray with their drinks outside also.
Tessa had arranged napkins and silverware on three side tables beside each rocking chair.
“The new fast-food restaurant has a play gym,” Tessa explained. “He insists the kids have to have fast food at least once a month because it’s an inalienable right.”
The women laughed.
“How’s Sean’s shoulder?” Francesca asked.
“It’s coming along. We knew it would be slow. He could be three or four before he has full use of his arm again. But he’s a trooper. We do exercises with him every day.”
When Vince had lost his best friend in an automobile accident, Sean’s shoulder had been injured. Vince had brought the baby home to Sagebrush because there was a physician in Lubbock who specialized in that particular type of shoulder injury. The little boy’s surgery had been a success, but recovery would take a long time.
“When are you going back to your practice?” Emily asked her.
“Not until February, at least. And then, it will only be part-time. Actually, Rhonda can’t wait because then she’ll have care of the kids again.”
Emily knew Vince’s housekeeper, Rhonda Zappa, was a wonderful nanny. She’d taken care of Sean full-time until Vince and Tessa had married.
“What’s she doing with herself? I know someone who could use her right now.” Emily suspected Rhonda would be wonderful with Jared’s daughters.
“She’s visiting her son in Austin. She decided to stay for two months and be Grandma every day for a while, instead of just on holidays.”
“Speaking of taking care of children, tell us about Jared Madison’s daughters.” Tessa’s tone was bland, but an arched brow asked lots of questions.
“They’re wonderful. Definitely into the princess craze. Jared’s a terrific dad and—” She stopped.
Tessa eyed her shrewdly. “Is there something you’re not telling us?”
“No, not really.”
“Emily…” Tessa prompted.
Emily had confided her whole story to Tessa and Francesca earlier this summer, so there was no reason to hold anything back now.
“I like him,” she said in a rush. “I know I shouldn’t, but there’s this connection between us or something. He doesn’t want to get involved and I shouldn’t even be thinking about it. But whenever we’re alone together—”
“Fireworks?” Tessa suggested.
Emily nodded, and then realized how absolutely quiet Francesca had been. She hadn’t eaten a bite of her chicken salad. She was sipping a glass of water and staring out across the lawn as if deep in thought.
Emily laid her hand on the arm of Francesca’s chair. “Is something wrong? You’re quiet today.”
Francesca looked from Tessa to Emily and took a deep breath. “I’m pregnant.”
Emily was too surprised to speak. Francesca had been single for so long, except for one steamy June night with saddle maker Grady Fitzgerald.
“How can that be?” Tessa asked bluntly. “You said he used protection.”
“I don’t know how it happened. We did use protection. Maybe the condom broke. I missed my period. I let it pass, thinking it was just my busy life and work. I’ve never been regular. Last week, I felt a little dizzy…I haven’t been hungry, my breasts felt tender and all the symptoms came together. I used a pregnancy test and…I’m over two months pregnant.”
“Are you upset or happy?” Tessa asked.
“I think I’m still in shock. I’m a doctor, for goodness’ sake! How could this happen to me?”
Emily studied her friend’s face. “Shock or not, how do you feel about having a baby?”
Francesca’s face broke into a lovely smile. “I’m beginning to like the idea a lot. A baby to love and hold—”
“And diaper,” Tessa added with a grin.
“And diaper,” Francesca repeated. “My problem is, I don’t know what to do about Grady. We have very different lives… We want very different lives. He’s all about family. I wanted to run away from mine. He loves his work making saddles but he’s a laid-back, no-pressure kind of guy. My career is everything to me…of course with a baby, that will have to change some. But my work with newborns will still be important. It will give me and my child a life.”
“Your child?” Emily asked.
Francesca frowned. “You know I have trust issues. You know I chose badly with Darren. I chose the kind of man I ran away from. How do I know Grady is what he seems? We had one night together.”
She studied the front yard, then added, “I have to tell him, but I don’t know how and I don’t know when. And the truth is, I need time to figure out what’s best for this baby.”
“Do you think he’s the kind of man who will want a say in that?” Tessa asked.
“I have no idea. Just because he comes from a large family doesn’t mean he wants to be a dad. Maybe I don’t want him to be a dad. Maybe I’m hoping he’d rather walk away.”
Emily admired Francesca’s honesty and the way she could analyze her life.
“I never thought I’d find happily ever after, but I have with Vince,” Tessa reminded them.
“You and Vince are different,” Emily proposed. “You fell in love in high school and, although you both denied it, that love never quit.”
“We thought of our past as a burden, not something that connected us. So if Vince and I can be so happy, maybe the two of you need to take a few risks and find out if you can be happy, too.”
Take a risk. Emily almost panicked at the thought. In the past, she’d definitely opted for safe rather than sorry. But what had that gotten her? Life with a man who’d spent their money on a huge house and expensive toys that were supposed to promote his career? She’d supported his dreams and tried to make them hers. But that hadn’t worked.
Could she trust a man to stand by her no matter what? To actually believe in marriage vows? To promise a lifelong commitment?
She knew Prince Charmings were in short supply. And she was no Cinderella! Tessa and Vince might be the exception rather than the rule.
When Emily exchanged a look with Francesca, she knew Francesca believed that, too.
Chapter Five
Emily hadn’t seen Jared all day on Monday. That was a good thing, she told herself. If she didn’t see him, she couldn’t want to see him more.
Her luck ran out when she headed into the hall. There he was, coming out of his office, his cell phone at his ear. When he saw her, he ended the call and frowned.
“Is something wrong?” Maybe one of his patients went into unexpected labor. Maybe his mother had spiked an infection. Maybe his life was none of her business.
As he hesitated, she felt the urge to step closer to him. But she didn’t have to. He took a step closer to her. “That was Chloie.”
Although she felt current between them, although deep in his eyes she saw he felt it, too, she changed her focus to his twins. “Are Amy and Courtney all right?”
“Oh, they’re fine. Except…they insist they want to see their grandmother.”
“Does that surprise you?”
He slipped his phone into the holster on his belt. “No. I was just hoping I could sidetrack them, at least until she got to the rehab facility. But they know she’s in the hospital and they want to see her. I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
Emily thought about it. “You said they saw her fall.”
“That’s right. And they saw the ambulance come and take her away.”
She tried to put herself in the twins’ place. “They want to be reassured she’s coming home again.”
“I have been reassuring them of that, but I don’t think they believe me.”
Emily studied Jared. Already she suspected he was the type of man who liked to control his world. Once in a while, however, he had to settle for plan B. “What would be so terrible about taking them to the hospital for a short visit? They’re well-behaved.”
The lines around his eyes cut deeper with concern as he shook his head. “I don’t want them to see anything that will scare them. Hospitals aren’t always the kindest places. There are unusual machines, IVs…”
“I think you have to decide whether the benefits would outweigh everything else. What they conjure up in their thoughts could be worse than what they might actually see.”
Now his green eyes assessed her, considering her suggestion. “You mean if they’re excited about seeing their grandmother, they won’t notice anything else?”
She smiled. “I’m not that naive. Did you ever think about buying them one of those hospital play sets and explaining equipment they might see before they go?”
“I knew there was a reason I hired you,” he said with a teasing smile that sent her heart into an upbeat rhythm.
“The reason you hired me was to shift some of your patient load,” she teased back, feigning offense.
“And that’s worked very well,” he said seriously. “Our mothers-to-be trust you. You’ve really added a lot to this practice.”
The way he was looking at her with respect for her professional talent meant so much. “Thank you,” she murmured, wanting him to know her whole story, yet still afraid to confide in him.
After they stood there gazing at each other for a few heartbeats, Emily felt that tempting tension rise between them again.
“Why don’t you come with me to the toy store?” he suggested. “You can help me pick out the most appropriate play set.”
She shouldn’t. She absolutely knew she shouldn’t. What about taking a few risks? her inner voice asked while Francesca’s admonition to be careful played, too.
Jared took her silence as reluctance. His expression became serious. “You probably have other plans. The girls and I have taken up more than enough of your time.”
“No, that’s not true! I don’t have any other plans. In fact, I had a message from Francesca that she’d be tied up at the hospital again tonight. So I’d like to help you pick out a play set.” Maybe her concept of her world had to change. Maybe she had to take a step forward to move forward!
“Don’t feel you have to come, Emily. I don’t want you to feel any pressure.”
“I don’t feel pressured, Jared. I’d tell you if I did. The problem is, I like being with you.”
“You like being with me?” His voice held surprise.
“Yes. You’re a good listener. You’re easy to talk to. And we seem to understand each other. All qualities I like in a friend.” If she kept this light, maybe being with Jared wouldn’t be a mistake. She knew she was falling for him, but if they could be friends, maybe the fall wouldn’t hurt her.
“Friends, huh?”
She nodded as if that’s all she expected or wanted. Being honest with herself, she knew she wanted a lot more.
They’d been standing about a foot apart and now he moved closer. “I don’t think we’re going to be friends like Chloie and I are friends.”
“Probably not,” she admitted. “Every friendship is different.”
“What do you expect from your friends?” he asked, his voice husky.
What she wanted was to step into his arms. What she wanted was to feel his lips on hers again. And ultimately what she wanted was way more than he’d said he was willing to give.
What did she expect from friendship? “That depends on the level of friendship. It’s come to mean something different since I moved here and met Tessa and Francesca. I guess loyalty is the main quality I expect.”
The silence in the offices wrapped around them. The other doctors as well as the office staff had gone. No one was around but the two of them. If he reached for her, she wouldn’t pull away. He looked as if he wanted to. He looked as if he liked what she expected of friendship.
But Jared was the type of man who thought about professional reputation and ethics and time and place.
Breaking eye contact and the sensual haze that always seemed to surround them when they were together, he reached into his pocket for his keys. “Would you like to ride with me to the toy store?”
Emily considered sitting next to him in his sedan, aware of him in the confined space. “I’ll follow you.”
Fifteen minutes later, Emily walked beside Jared through the rows of the toy store. She felt as if she were on a date, though she knew she wasn’t. He’d tugged off his tie and opened the top button of his shirt. She could see a hint of his dark-brown chest hair. He was at least six feet tall and she felt almost fragile beside him. Every now and then, she caught the trace of a male fragrance that lingered at the end of the day. His thick hair curled slightly over his collar in the back and her fingers tingled to touch it. He glanced at her now and then. When their eyes met—
What was brewing between them was powerful chemistry neither of them could deny. Yet they were both trying to.
As they traversed the sports section, he stopped in front of the soccer balls. “I’m thinking about getting them one of these for Christmas.”
“You’re going to be a soccer dad?”
He shrugged. “I could take them to their games on Saturdays when I’m not on call.”
He appeared nonchalant but she could hear his voice strain when he realized that he couldn’t be with his daughters whenever they needed him.
After the sports aisle, they turned the corner into littlegirl land. Emily pointed to a princess Barbie. “Now, that’s a Christmas present.”
Jared laughed. “I can see how being a dad colors what I buy for them. I might have to consult you as a personal shopper for Christmas.”
She stopped at a miniature tea set with pictures of Cinderella on the pot and dishes and lifted it from the shelf. “Do you mind if I buy this for them?”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I want to. I think they’d have fun with it. Tea parties are great for the imagination.”
“I’m sure they’d like to have tea with you.”
From his smile and the sincerity in his voice, she could see he meant that. From the glimmers of desire in his eyes, she could also see that he found her attractive, and that was such a balm to her ego. “I was thinking of them having tea with you, along with their teddy bears and Barbie dolls.”
“Now, that’s a picture,” he admitted with a chuckle.
They found the hospital play set easily in the dollhouse section. Jared examined it, nodding as he did. “This is a good idea, Emily. I’m glad you suggested it.”
Emily’s cell phone began playing a lilting tune. She retrieved it from the outside pocket of her purse.
Jared took the tea set from her so she wouldn’t have to juggle it. When she checked the caller ID, she froze.
He studied the expression on her face and asked, “Emily?”
“It’s my ex-husband. I’d better take this.” Richard never called her. Since the divorce, they hadn’t had much communication, although there were still a few loose ends to tie up. She sent him a check every month. If he was calling, there would be a reason. And he wouldn’t stop calling until he got her. She knew her ex that well.
“Excuse me,” she said to Jared as she walked to the end of the aisle where she had better reception and some privacy.
After she answered, her ex-husband asked, “How are you doing, Em?”
She didn’t like the nickname, never had really. He hadn’t taken her seriously when she’d told him that. “I’m okay, but this isn’t a good time. Can I give you a call back later tonight?”
“You’re still at work?”
“No, I’m not.”
“On a date?”
Ever since their divorce, he hadn’t cared. Why would he now? “No, Richard. I’m shopping.”
“Well, it’s good to know you have enough money to do that. Low expenses in Sagebrush.”
“I’m getting by. I’m sharing a house and that helps.” She didn’t even know why she told him that except she wanted him to realize she didn’t have a lot left over at the end of the month. “So, why are you calling?”
“I need your signature on something.”
“What?” All of their belongings except two had been divided up.
“I want to sell the painting that’s hanging over the sofa, but your name’s on the provenance, too.”
The only property that hadn’t been completely settled was the painting and the boat, a thirty-six-foot sailing vessel that Richard used to impress clients. She wondered why he needed money, though. His salary had always covered their bills comfortably. They’d used her salary for her personal expenses and extras—parties, dinners out, half of the down payment on the boat.
“How do you want to handle selling the painting?” she asked, still mourning the loss of the relationship she’d begun with stars in her eyes, intending it to last forever.
“Do you have a fax?”
She didn’t, but Francesca did. “I can give you my roommate’s fax number.” She rattled it off.
“That’s great. I’ll fax the form over right away. Sign it and send it back to me by registered mail, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Thanks, Em.”
“No problem.”
The awkward silence vibrating on the line came from two people who didn’t know each other anymore, who maybe had never really known each other. “Take care,” he said as if he wanted to say more but didn’t know how.
“You, too.”
After she closed her phone, Jared approached her. “Is everything okay?”
“Fine. My ex needs my signature. We bought this painting together for the living room…” She stopped, a lump forming in her throat.
“Everything has a memory attached, doesn’t it?” Jared asked as if he knew.
She nodded, tucking her phone into its purse pocket, not meeting his gaze.
He set down everything he was holding onto the floor, then straightened, came very close and lifted her chin. “I was divorced, too, so I understand that even though a marriage is over, there are still remnants left of what it once meant.”
She wanted to tell him everything—about how Richard had turned away from her during the court proceedings, about how his lack of support had left her feeling so alone. But there would be so much to explain…so much Jared might not understand.
“Do you still love him?”
The answer seemed to be important to Jared. Why was he asking? Because he wanted her to be free of entanglements? To be free of her past? She didn’t know if she’d ever be free of that.
“The part of me that once loved him remembers what that was like. I wish him well. But no, I’m not still in love with him.”
Jared searched her face, perhaps not knowing if he could believe her words. Why would he doubt what she said? Unless someone had lied to him before?
The intensity of the moment passed as his hand slid from her chin. He picked up the play set and the tea set he’d set on the floor. “I think you should come over and show the girls all the aspects of the hospital that they might see. Explanations wouldn’t be too scary coming from you. I might be too clinical. What do you think?”
Her voice was soft with gratitude when she answered, “I think you’re trying to distract me from the call. Thank you. I’d love seeing your daughters again.”
“All right. Then maybe after you show them around the toy hospital, you can teach me the finer points of having a tea party.”
His dry voice made her smile. He would do anything for his daughters. With sudden realization, she knew she’d do anything for him.
Yet once before she’d placed a man’s concerns before hers. Once before she’d let Richard’s ambition and desires supersede hers. And when she’d needed him—
When she was with Jared, she had to remember her failed marriage. Otherwise he could break her heart and she wouldn’t be able to patch it up again.
Jared could have kicked himself for inviting Emily along home with him. Yet she had been good for his girls. And she’d looked so sad after her phone call.
Still, what about what was good for him?
For the past two years, he really hadn’t thought about himself. Amy and Courtney had needed him day and night. His career demanded his time day and night.
He’d been lonely after his divorce. And after Valerie died…
He’d been confused and in turmoil because she hadn’t confided in him. What kind of man was he that she couldn’t tell him the truth about her illness?
Since then he’d denied physical needs and fallen into bed exhausted every night. Work and spending time with the twins was like a numbing drug. He worked more and tried to meet their every need so he didn’t have to think about a life he didn’t have.
Yet why would he want a woman in his life again? Why would he want to complicate it? Why take the chance on a relationship that might not work out? He’d be putting Amy and Courtney at risk, too.
Still, as he stood in the kitchen supposedly pouring milk for Courtney and Amy while surreptitiously watching them with Emily, he knew life demanded more of him than work and child care.
Would sex be a start? Would an affair lead him to a life again?
The wind whistled against the house as he listened in on Emily’s conversation. She was on the floor with the twins in the great room.
Courtney asked her, “Are there people in every room?”
“Yes, there are.”
Jared watched Emily settle one of the dolls into the tiny bed.
She asked Amy, “Would you like to turn on the TV for this patient?”
Amy solemnly nodded.
Courtney pushed the miniature wheelchair into the patient’s room. “The lady in the other bed needs this.”
“Would you like to give her a name?”
Courtney thought about that. “Mrs…” She looked around the room and her eyes fell on a vase with silk flowers. “Mrs. Flower.”
“I like that name,” Emily encouraged her. Then she picked up another doll dressed in a white uniform. “The nurse is coming in to give her medicine.”
“Here’s the doctor,” Amy said proudly, picking up the next play figure. “Just like Daddy.”
Jared had to smile. Hopefully Amy and Courtney could visit his mom without too many fears, without being scared by what they saw. Emily was so good with his daughters. And when he kissed her, he felt arousal that he hadn’t experienced since his days at Texas Tech.
He took the glasses to the table along with cups of pudding, but he didn’t call them yet. Rather he went over to the sofa where they were playing by the coffee table with Emily.
“What do you think of the hospital?” he asked them.
He could feel Emily’s gaze on him and to his surprise, he liked the idea of her looking at him. There was respect in her eyes, maybe even admiration. Something else, too. That something else that made him want to kiss her whenever their eyes met.
“The hospital is big,” Courtney decided.
In reality, it wasn’t that big, only four floors, but to his daughters, the building would seem immense.
“You don’t have to worry about getting lost or anything like that. When we go see Grandma, you can hold on to me,” he assured her.
“And Emily.”
He hadn’t thought about Emily visiting his mother.
“Oh, I don’t think I’ll be going,” Emily said, glancing at him, making sure she didn’t overstep their working relationship or their friendship.
Friendship. Had he ever been friends with a woman?
Courtney ran to him, wrapped her little arms around him and looked up at him with big green eyes. “Daddy? Can Emily come, too?”
How could anyone say no to this beautiful child who had formed a bond with this woman who was caring enough to be a mother? Courtney liked Chloie, but she never responded to his cousin the way she responded to Emily. Neither did Amy.
Emily’s cheeks were flushed as if she were embarrassed and didn’t know what to say or do.
Stooping down, he lifted Courtney into his arms. “Can you tell me why you want Emily to come along? I’m sure she has a very busy schedule, so it has to be an important reason.”
Courtney bit her lower lip as she thought about what he’d asked. “I won’t be scared.”
Jared had the feeling that sometimes when his daughters were with him, they thought he’d be called away and they’d be left alone. He didn’t know how to counteract that. Apparently they felt more solid with Emily. That was a shocker.
“Why don’t you two have your milk and play and I’ll talk to Emily about it? Okay?”
Courtney nodded again, leaned toward him to give him a kiss on his cheek. Every one of those kisses was precious.
He carried her over to the table and settled her in one of the chairs, lifting the lid from her pudding. Amy ran over and he did the same for her. He left them jabbering about the hospital and patients.
Emily had risen from the floor. Tendrils of curls had come loose from her ponytail and wisped around her face. Her color was still a little high. He couldn’t seem to get enough of looking at her face, her sweetly curved lips, her long eyelashes that fringed her dark brown eyes and emphasized them.
“I don’t have to go along. I certainly don’t want to intrude on your time with your mother.”
His time with his mother was always strained. With the girls around, less so. Truth be told, he wondered what his mother would think of Emily, and vice versa.
“The girls seem to find a certain level of comfort and safety when you’re with them. I wouldn’t want to take that away from them in a strange setting. Are you busy tomorrow evening?”
“No, I’m not busy,” she admitted, realizing she didn’t have a social life outside of her friendships with Francesca and Tessa. “But are you sure you want me involved? Would your mom want a stranger around?”
“I don’t know what my mother will or won’t want. I do know I’ll keep the visit short. I don’t want to overtire her, and the girls can be a handful when they get excited and start asking questions. That’s where I think you’d be a big help. You have a calming effect on them.”
“If I can help, I’d be glad to come along. But if for some reason your mother doesn’t want any other visitors, I can wait out in the hall, or visit the nursery again.”
He remembered too well the day he’d transferred Leanne Martin’s baby to Emily’s arms. She would make a wonderful mother. He could imagine her pregnant, getting larger with child each month.
Oh, no, he wasn’t going there. He might be considering a night of hot sex, but a minister and wedding bells weren’t on his agenda. He’d done that once. He’d been a lousy husband and back then, not a very good father. He’d been building his practice, and he’d left the needs of his infants to Valerie.
If he had it all to do over again, what would he change?
He didn’t know. Valerie’s distaste of his being called away had always caused problems between them. But those problems had turned into resentment on both their sides, and that colored everything they had done and said.
He could have done it differently. He should have been more understanding.
Valerie had received her diagnosis and decided she knew best—that he and the twins shouldn’t be with her in her last days. If he’d been a better husband…if he’d been more understanding…then maybe she would have trusted him to be with her through it all. Even at the end.
“Jared.” Emily looked concerned as if she’d asked him a question and he hadn’t heard her.
“Do you want to go to the hospital as soon as we’re finished for the day?”
“That would probably be best.”
She studied him more closely. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. I was just considering what type of father I would be if I were in a different profession.”
“Do you really think changing your career would make you a different kind of dad?”
She had a point there. “I’d have more time to give them.”
She looked as if she wanted to say something, but was hesitating to say it.
“Tell me what you’re thinking.” The one truth he’d learned in his life was that honesty avoided much heartbreak.
“I’m thinking that even if we had all the time in the world, we wouldn’t have enough time. It’s more important that you don’t waste a minute of the time you have with them. If you’re really present to them, if you care about what they’re doing, that’s what matters.”
Jared suddenly realized that that was the reason his daughters liked being with Emily. When she was with them, she was with them. Nothing interfered with her concentration on them, and they felt special because of it.
He moved closer to her, thinking about the call she’d received from her ex-husband. The few things she’d told him had led him to believe her ex hadn’t appreciated her at all. He glanced over at his twins and saw they were still occupied with the pudding and each other.
Letting his hand rest lightly on Emily’s shoulder, he asked her, “Why didn’t you have babies when you were married?”
She looked away and then back at him. “I wanted them. Richard wanted to wait until we were financially secure.”
“And that day never came,” he guessed.
“No, it didn’t.” She didn’t elaborate, though he wished she would. Maybe in time.
Had he decided to spend more time with her for reasons other than his daughters?
Since Emily didn’t elaborate about her marriage, he asked anyway, “What finally broke the two of you up? Usually there’s that straw that breaks the camel’s back.”
For a moment, Emily looked absolutely trapped. Her face drained of some of its color. What could have been so horrible that she’d have this reaction?
“Emily?” He slid his hand under her hair and stroked her neck.
“There wasn’t just one thing,” she finally said. “He asked for a divorce and I knew…I knew we didn’t have anything left.”
What she was telling him could be true. But he suspected there was more. He could see it in the turmoil in her big brown eyes. Was Emily keeping secrets from him, too? And if she was, what was he going to do about it?
He heard the scrape of a chair on the wooden floor and the pitter-patter of Amy’s sneakers as she ran over to him. She never seemed to walk anywhere.
“Can Emily read us a story before we go to bed?”
He stepped away from Emily, closer to his daughter. What did he really know about Emily Diaz? He knew what she’d given him in her résumé. He knew what her references had told him. Yes, she was a kind, compassionate woman who could relate to kids. And from his reaction to her, she turned him on in a way a woman hadn’t in a very long time.
But did he know the essence of her? Did he know what made her tick? He suddenly wondered why she’d had to travel across the state to start a new life here…so far away from her husband.
The prize-winning question was—did he want the answers to all of his questions, or did he want to just concentrate on his daughters and his profession without muddying up his life with an affair?
“I think we’ve taken up enough of Emily’s time. She has a roommate who hasn’t seen much of her lately, and I’m sure she has things to do at home, too. Did you finish your milk?”
Amy nodded.
“Great. As soon as Courtney’s finished, you can try to put your pajamas on all by yourselves.”
Then he turned back to Emily and gestured to the play set on the floor. “Thank you for taking the time to find that with me and to play with them.” His voice was more formal than he wanted it, but he had to draw a line in the sand.
He saw a flicker of hurt in Emily’s eyes. He hated that. But he had to consider what he was doing very carefully. He had to make sure he made the right decisions this time for both his daughters…and himself.
Emily’s shoulders squared a little as she told Amy, “Your dad’s right. I have to be going. But I’ll see you tomorrow evening.”
Her purse was lying on the end table beside the sofa. She picked it up quickly and threw the strap over her shoulder. Then she stepped around the play set, crouched down before Amy and gave her a hug. Afterward, she headed for Courtney and did the same.
Jared walked Emily to the door. But he didn’t touch her, and he definitely didn’t kiss her good-night.
Emily had questions in her eyes as she said good-night and left.
But he didn’t have any answers.
Chapter Six
Emily felt like an outsider the following evening as she walked beside Jared to his mother’s hospital room. Courtney clutched Stardust under one arm as she held her father’s hand. Amy had a grip on Emily’s. She was sure his daughters wanted her here, but she wasn’t sure at all that he did. She took a firmer grasp on the two bouquets of flowers she carried for the twins.
Outside the door, Jared leaned close, his breath warm on her ear as he assured her, “We don’t have to stay long. In fact it would probably be better for my mother if we don’t. I don’t want the girls to tire her out.”
The solemn expression on Jared’s face, as well as his rigid bearing, told Emily the girls might not be the only reason he didn’t want to stay long.
Emily handed a bouquet to Courtney and one to Amy.
Courtney held Emily’s hand a little tighter as they neared the bed.
Gloria Madison pressed the control that raised her head so she was in a sitting position. She was a beautiful older woman with thick steel-gray hair that lay in soft curls around her face. Her eyes were green like Jared’s and she was smiling at her granddaughters. “Come here, darlings. I’ve missed you.”
“We brought these for you,” Courtney said, giving her grandmother the flowers in her hand. Amy did the same.
Gloria bent and smelled them—carnations, daisies and roses. “How pretty! Thank you so much for bringing them. They’ll brighten up my room.” Her gaze went to her son. “I see you brought a reinforcement. Are you going to introduce us?”
“This is Emily Diaz. She works at the practice with me and has been helping with the twins. They wanted her to come along. Emily, my mother, Gloria Madison.”
Emily went over to the bed and extended her hand. “It’s so nice to meet you. The twins have been worried about you. They needed to see you were recovering.”
“Did you convince my son to let them come?”
“It was his decision.” Emily spotted an empty vase sitting on the windowsill. “Why don’t I put some water in this and arrange the flowers for you?”
Jared removed folded pieces of paper from his shirt pocket. He gave them to Courtney and Amy. “They drew pictures for you, too.”
Both Amy and Courtney opened up the folded pieces of paper, explaining to their grandmother what they had drawn. Their childish chatter filling the room brought a huge smile to Gloria’s face.
While she chatted with her granddaughters, Emily slipped into the bathroom and filled the vase with water. She was arranging the flowers when Jared stepped inside.
Instead of turning around, she sought his gaze in the mirror. He was standing behind her, tall and broad-shouldered, in a striped oxford shirt and casual slacks. She remembered his last kiss and being held in his arms. She wanted him to touch her and he looked as if he’d like to. But he kept a foot between them.
When she turned around to face him, that foot of separation disappeared. She just waited, their attraction for each other thrumming between them.
“Will you be all right here for a few minutes?” he asked. “I’d like to check on a patient.”
“Sure. I’ll be fine.”
Cocking his head, he asked, “Are you always fine?”
“I try to be. I believe if I act as if I’ve got a handle on everything, then maybe I will.”
“You’re an optimist.”
“You’re just learning that?” she joked.
“Yes, I am.” His silence said he was learning other things, too.
There was a glint in his eye, a spark of desire, the recognition that their attraction wasn’t going to go away because they wanted it to. She found herself responding to it. Her heart was pounding and a butterfly did a flip in her stomach.
Finally Jared said huskily, “I won’t be long.” Then he left the bathroom, explained to his mother where he was going and strode down the hall.
Although she didn’t know why, Emily felt shaken by their exchange. They were coming closer and closer to something inevitable. What? Confronting their attraction? Doing more with it? Yet Jared didn’t want involvement.
She shouldn’t get involved with a man who had walls around his heart. She was asking for heartache if she did.
Running the cold water, she took a paper towel and held it to her cheeks. Then she picked up the vase with the flowers and returned to Gloria. The older woman eyed her thoughtfully as Emily set the flowers on the windowsill.
Amy and Courtney had settled into a chair together with a magazine on their laps. It was one of those country magazines with pictures of farms and children and animals. They chatted to each other about them and then showed them to their grandmother. Once they were intrigued again by a picture of a huge dog in the magazine, Gloria laid her head against the pillow. “Jared doesn’t trust many people with his daughters. He must think highly of you.”
“I work with Jared as an obstetrical nurse practitioner. I hope he respects the work I do and knows what kind of person I am.”
“Oh, I think he knows.”
Emily’s attention went from the girls, who were studying a wagon filled with pumpkins, to Jared’s mother.
Emily didn’t say anything, though. If Jared’s mom had something she wanted to tell her, Emily would give her the opportunity.
“I think he’s interested in you, and you like him,” Gloria suggested.
What should she say? What could she say? After all, Jared’s daughters were right there. Children had great hearing and long memories.
Something about his mother’s intent green gaze made honesty essential between them. “We don’t really know each other very well. In fact—” She stopped, realizing she was about to say too much.
“In fact?” Gloria urged her on. “There’s a lot about me that Jared doesn’t know, just as I’m sure there’s a lot I don’t know about him.”
“Time could take care of that,” his mother assured her.
“Possibly.”
Gloria appraised her for a few more moments. “My son has walled himself off to everyone but his daughters until now. When he looks at you, I see a change in him that wasn’t there before.”
Emily couldn’t help but ask, “What kind of change?”
“Curiosity, appreciation, possibility. A small crack where a little bit of light is glimmering through. He needs a personal life. He hasn’t had one since his marriage.”
“I don’t think he wants one,” Emily admitted.
“You could be right. On the other hand, the crackle I see between the two of you might be bigger than both of you.”
Crackle. Sizzle. Sexual chemistry. Even if they had that, did Emily want an affair? She’d never had affairs. She’d had one serious relationship—with Richard.
She had so much baggage. Sending a check to Richard every month was a responsibility she took seriously. It would take her years to cover the money he’d siphoned from his pension. What man would want to take that on? Not to mention the way Jared might feel when he knew the circumstances behind her legal bills.
“How old are you?” Gloria asked.
“I’m thirty-two.”
“Have you ever been married?”
“Yes, I’m divorced.” She expected to see judgment in Gloria’s eyes, maybe disapproval. To her surprise, she didn’t see either.
“And Jared is forty-three, also divorced. I imagine you both have history that needs to be put to rest.”
“Sometimes history can’t be put to rest.” Not when it was ongoing, Emily thought…not when she felt as if she had to hide it.
“Would you do something for me, Emily?”
“What?”
“If you have feelings for Jared, don’t give up on him if he seems to push you away.”
Courtney suddenly scrambled off the chair and placed the magazine into her grandmother’s lap. “See the horse? I want to ride a horse.”
“Me, too,” chimed in Amy.
Emily was glad for the interruption.
While the girls chatted with their grandmother again, she had time to think about their conversation. The last thing she’d expected to find in west Texas was romance. Yet Jared was the type of man she’d always dreamed of meeting someday. He was sexy and caring and a wonderful dad.
There were so many things he didn’t know about her.
When Jared returned to the room a short time later, Emily was sitting in the chair with Courtney on her lap. Amy was standing at her grandmother’s bed, singing a song she’d learned in preschool.
Emily noticed Jared stop in the doorway, taking in the scene. His gaze was gentle as it rested on his daughters. But when it settled on his mother, he frowned and a distant look came into his eyes. Emily had noticed that same distance in his tone when he mentioned his mom, and couldn’t help but wonder what had caused it. Gloria Madison seemed to be a kindly, friendly woman. What had transpired between mother and son to cause resentment? Was that what Jared felt toward his mother?
Crossing to Gloria’s bed, he said, “I think two little girls are more than ready for bed.”
“We’re not sleepy, Daddy,” Courtney told him, and then yawned.
He laughed. “Even if you’re not sleepy, Grandma needs her rest, too.”
“It was so good to see you.” Gloria gave both Amy and Courtney hugs. To Emily she said, “I’ll be going to a rehab facility tomorrow, but I’d love to see you again.”
“I enjoyed talking to you. I’ll visit you if I can.” The truth was, Emily had missed her mother ever since she’d lost her. And Gloria with her kindness and honest observations was someone Emily would like in her life.
Ten minutes later, Emily sat in Jared’s sedan beside him as he pulled into the driveway at his home. Courtney had fallen asleep in her car seat and Amy was almost there.
“I can help you get the girls to bed,” she offered, not ready to leave him yet, feeling more and more drawn to Amy and Courtney.
“When I bring them home alone and they fall asleep, I have to wake them up. I don’t like to leave one of them in the car while I take the other inside.”
“I can understand that.”
“On the other hand, I don’t want you to feel obliged that you have to do anything.”
“I don’t feel obliged. When we’re not at work, Jared, you’re not my boss. We’re just two people. If you’re afraid you’re taking advantage of me, you’re not. I want to be here.”
She felt him studying her in the darkness.
“All right. Let’s take them inside.”
As Emily carried Amy and Jared carried Courtney, she felt a closeness to him. They didn’t seem to need words to establish understanding. It was almost as if words would muddle up the connection they had. Yet Emily knew the time was coming when she’d have to tell him everything about her. That idea scared her.
Emily helped Jared change the girls into their nightclothes, feeling motherly. She liked the feeling. After she pulled Amy’s sheet up to her chin, she kissed her on the forehead. It just seemed the natural and right thing to do. Jared did the same with Courtney. Both girls curled on their sides, Courtney with Stardust, Amy with a favorite teddy bear.
Emily and Jared walked down the hall into the great room. There she said, “I’d better go. We both have early days tomorrow.”
Jared approached her and rested his hands on her shoulders. “You’ve been a great help ever since my mom’s accident.”
“You didn’t want me to go along tonight, though, did you?”
“You made the visit easier for Amy and Courtney. But, no, I guess I didn’t want you to get more involved in my life.”
Her expression must have shown the hurt she felt at his words.
He grimaced. “That didn’t come out right.”
“I think it did.”
“Emily, damn it all,” he swore. “Every time I’m near you, I want to kiss you. In the hospital bathroom I wanted to tug you into my arms. Damn it,” he said again, his arms enfolding her. “I’ve wanted to do this all night.” He bent his head to hers and kissed her.
Their lips melded together. His tongue invaded her mouth. He was hungry, demanding, possessive. This time, he didn’t restrain his need and she responded to it, seeking the strokes of his tongue, kissing him back for all she was worth.
He backed her up to the sofa and they fell onto it, holding on to each other, breaking the kiss and coming back for more.
Emily liked everything about being with Jared. She loved touching him. She loved the feel of her fingers laced in his thick hair. She loved exploring the taut skin at his neck.
Jared groaned and slid his hands under her top. When his thumbs found her nipples and teased them through her bra, she thought she’d explode. She was lost in what they were when they were together like this. But he must have been aware of reality all along…because he let his hands drop away and slip out from under her top.
Moments later he tore his lips from hers and muttered, “We’ve got to stop.”
“Why?” She couldn’t believe she asked it, but she needed to know.
He looked sad as he stroked her face and pushed wayward curls from her forehead. “Because we don’t want to make a mess of each other’s lives.”
She opened her eyes and stared into his. “Why are you so sure that would happen?”
“I just am.”
“No, I don’t think you’re sure. You just don’t want to open yourself up to the possibility. You’ve been hurt and you don’t want to take the chance that will happen again. I’ve been hurt, too, Jared. And yes, the possibility of getting hurt again scares me. But I feel a connection to you.”
“A connection…or an attraction?” he asked bluntly.
“Both. Don’t you feel both?”
“Right now, I only know what my body’s telling me. You’re a sexy woman and I haven’t touched a woman since my marriage ended. That’s a pretty powerful driving force. I’m not going to let it drive me to do something we’ll both regret.”
She pushed herself up from the sofa. “Don’t think for me, Jared, and don’t make decisions for me. If you want to back off for your own reasons, that’s fine. But don’t make the mistake of thinking you know what’s going on in my head.” Or in my heart, she added to herself.
He stood now, too, but she didn’t want to see the look in his eyes that told her he thought this was all about sex.
She grabbed her purse from the coffee table where she’d dropped it and headed for the door.
“Emily…”
“I’ll see you at work tomorrow, Jared. At least there, we know exactly how to treat each other. We know exactly what we have to do.”
She left Jared’s house, his mother’s words echoing in her head. Don’t give up on him if he seems to push you away.
To do that, she’d have to be more vulnerable than she’d ever been before. She wasn’t sure being that vulnerable was a risk she wanted to take.
“I’m going to tell Grady I’m pregnant tonight,” Francesca said the next evening. Emily had just walked in the door as her friend was getting ready to go out.
“Where are you meeting him?” Emily asked, assessing Francesca’s western-cut tan pantsuit. Her long, straight brown hair curved over her shoulder. She looked fabulous.
“At the saddle shop.”
“Alone?”
“Hopefully. This isn’t the kind of news I’d want to give him in public. The only thing is—”
“Are you afraid something else will happen?” Emily guessed, and when her friend’s cheeks turned red, she knew she’d guessed correctly.
“I don’t want a relationship, Emily. I’m not ready for one. And things would never work out between us. We’re much too different.”
Emily wondered how many times her friend had told herself that and if she was using it as an excuse. Francesca was just downright afraid to get involved with a man again.
Francesca checked her watch. “I should be going, but tell me how things went with you and Jared today. You were upset when you came home last night.”
“He was at the hospital most of the day. I didn’t see him. Maybe that’s good.”
“Is it?”
“I don’t know. When did life get so complicated?”
Francesca shook her head. “When chemistry turned into more than a science experiment. See you later.”
Emily had to smile at her friend’s assessment of the situation. She took off her jacket and was about to hang it in the closet when the telephone rang. Crossing to the cordless phone beside the sofa, she picked up the handset and checked the caller ID. It was Jared.
“Hello,” she said, not knowing what to expect.
“Emily, it’s Jared.”
“I know.”
“What would we do without caller ID?” he teased lightly. “At least you picked up. That’s a good sign.”
“A good sign for what?”
The silence on his end almost made her wish she hadn’t asked. Then he replied, “I’ve been thinking about last night. I couldn’t get it off my mind all day.”
She waited.
“You were right. There is a connection between us and I’m not sure it’s one I want.”
“That’s why you called?”
She heard him blow out a breath. “I’m not doing this very well. Just let me say I’m not calling because I need help with the girls.”
“I don’t mind helping you, Jared.”
“I know. But now I’d like to do something that doesn’t involve them.”
Was he going to ask her on a date? “Like what?”
“There’s a charity banquet and dance at the Rayburn Hotel on Saturday evening.”
“Yes, I know. I was planning to go with friends.”
“How would you like to go with me instead?”
Actually, she’d been planning to tag along with Vince and Tessa.
“Would your friends mind if you changed your plans?” he cut in before she could think it through.
“No, I don’t suppose they would. I’d been planning to sit with Tessa Rossi and her husband, Vince. Maybe the four of us could share a table, unless you had something else in mind.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“If you’d rather sit with Dr. Pratt or Dr. Layman…” Those were the two men who shared Jared’s practice.
“Larry Pratt isn’t going, and Tom is sitting with the hospital board. The thing is, Emily, I’m not asking you because this is a hospital function.”
“Why are you asking me?” she inquired softly, not wanting to put him on the spot but needing to know.
“I’d like to spend some time with you alone, away from my daughters, away from the practice. I realized—” He stopped. “I realized what I said last night might have hurt you, and I never meant to do that. Although it’s no excuse, I haven’t had a personal life for a long time.”
“So this is a date?”
“Yes, it’s a date. Are you accepting?”
“I’m accepting.”
“Good.”
She thought she could hear a smile in his voice. Thank goodness she had the rest of the week to think about what to wear. She might have to go shopping!
“That’s settled, then. Dinner starts at eight. I’ll pick you up around seven fifteen. Is that okay?”
“That’s fine.”
“I’m glad you’re going with me, Emily. I really mean that.”
“I’m glad I’m going, too.”
After he said good-bye and hung up, Emily couldn’t keep from smiling. In fact, she felt like singing. She was definitely going to wait up for Francesca tonight and tell her her news.
Francesca knocked at the door of the saddle shop, her palms sweating. Grady had told her to come around back and park there in the small lot. It was well-lit. She wasn’t afraid of getting mugged.
What was she afraid of?
Seeing Grady again? Feeling the attraction that had tumbled them into intimacy? Here was where it had happened—in his office on the blue-denim couch.
Pushing the images out of her head, she knocked sharply on the door again. There was a dim light inside, a brighter one to the right…in his office.
He opened the door and one look into his deep blue eyes told her he, too, was remembering everything that had happened here. He had coal-black hair that she had run her fingers through. He had broad shoulders that had felt so muscled under her hands. He had a stubbled jaw and that stubble had felt—
“Come on in,” he invited her with a Texas drawl that should have seemed ordinary, but wasn’t.
Her mouth went as dry as the west Texas dirt.
She followed him inside, inhaling the scents of leather, wood, other materials he used for his custom-made saddles. She didn’t pay any attention to the worktables, the bench that Grady had told her his dad had handcrafted for him. Rather she followed Grady into that small lit room.
He went behind his desk and sat in the high-back chair. She didn’t sit in one of the chairs in front of the desk. Instead she stayed standing. “I won’t take up much of your time.”
He leaned back, making the chair squeak. “Take all the time you want. I’m not really thrilled with returning to the bookwork program on my computer.”
To Grady’s right, a cursor blinked on a ledgerlike screen.
There was no point in making small talk. That wasn’t why she had come. “I’m pregnant.”
The two words hung suspended in the air between them.
“Are you saying the baby’s mine?”
She had never imagined he’d doubt that when she told him. “Of course the baby’s yours. You’re the only man I’ve slept with in a year. But if you don’t believe me, then we don’t have anything to talk about.” She turned, ready to leave, almost eager to leave.
But Grady shot out of his desk chair, was around his desk, and grabbing her elbow. “Hold on there. It was just a question.”
Gazing into his eyes, she realized it was a question he’d had to ask. After all, they didn’t know each other.
“We used a condom,” she said lamely, knowing that form of contraception was usually reliable but not foolproof.
Grady sighed and rubbed his hand across his forehead. “Yes, we did, but it was a condom I’ve had in my wallet for a while.”
“It could have broken?”
“Possibly. Or you could have gotten pregnant before I put it on.”
She felt heat crawl into her cheeks. There had been foreplay—teasing foreplay as she’d never experienced before.
Completely aware of his hand on her arm, the tingles dancing up and down, she pulled out of his grasp and had to make something clear. “I don’t want anything from you, Grady. We’d already decided seeing each other again would be a mistake. This doesn’t change that.”
“The heck it doesn’t.” His drawl had become more pronounced with each word. “I’m going to want a DNA test after the baby’s born.”
Her heart lurched. She did not want a relationship, especially not with a man who couldn’t trust. The idea of getting involved again, getting penned up, trapped, controlled, almost made her panic.
He must have seen the look in her eye because he asked, “What’s wrong?”
“I’m going to have this child and raise this child and love this child. But that doesn’t mean you and I have to be…connected.”
“What has you so spooked? You weren’t like this that night.”
No, she wasn’t. That night had been full of wonder and impulse. When she’d met Grady, the chemistry between them had been so strong she hadn’t thought about the next day or a week from that night.
“I’m not spooked. I just don’t want to be involved.”
“You are spooked. You’re afraid I’ll do something you don’t want me to do. So why did you tell me?”
“You had the right to know. Sagebrush is a small town.”
“And I could put have two and two together easily if I saw you pregnant and figured out the dates.”
“Yes,” she admitted, wanting to turn from his probing blue eyes but unable to do so.
His voice lowered…was gentle yet more intense. “You’re not going to cut me out of the baby’s life. If I’m a dad, I’m going be a dad. Do you understand that, Francesca?”
She went cold inside from the thought of him wanting any kind of control, and licked her dry lips. “What does that mean?”
“It means I want to spend time with my son or daughter. I want to have a say in decisions. I want to act like a real parent. I’ve looked forward all my life to being a dad. I’m not going to let the opportunity slip away.”
Grady came from a large family, a loving family, and she should have realized he’d feel this way.
“Don’t look so scared, Frannie. I’m not going to try to take custody away from you, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
She didn’t know what she was thinking. No one had ever called her Frannie.
“I’m not scared,” she returned defensively, squaring her shoulders. “I’m just worried you’ll want to tell me what to do and that’s not going to happen.”
He eyed her assessingly. “I guess we really don’t know each other, do we? One night on the sofa doesn’t a couple make.”
“No, it doesn’t. And we’re not a couple.”
He let a few pounding heartbeats pass before he asked, “When are you due?”
“February twenty-seventh.”
“What are you going to do about your practice?”
“I haven’t figured everything out yet. I’ve only known a short while.”
He cocked his head. “Did you think about not telling me and moving away from Sagebrush?”
She was hoping her guilt didn’t show.
“You did, didn’t you?” he accused. Then calmly he asked, “What made you decide to stay and not run?”
“I’m not a coward. I have a life here. I’m not going to let any man make me give up what I’m building.”
He slid his hands into the back pockets of his jeans—as if maybe he wanted to do something else with them—and continued to study her. “So what do you suggest we do?”
“I’d like you to give me time—the length of my pregnancy—to figure some things out.”
A line creased his brow and he didn’t seem to like the idea. Yet he asked, “You’ll call me when the baby’s born?”
She nodded.
His strong jaw set and his mouth formed a tight line. “I have one condition.”
“What?”
“You e-mail me a report every time you go to the doctor just to let me know everything’s okay.”
For some reason, she didn’t quibble. She didn’t see the condition as manipulation. Grady was asking her to communicate with him and it didn’t have to be in a personal way, just in the form of a report. She could do that.
“All right,” she agreed. “That won’t be a problem.”
“Have you been to see a doctor yet?” he asked.
“Yes, yesterday. Dr. Jared Madison’s my doctor. Every other month, I’ll see his obstetrical nurse practitioner. She’s my roommate, Emily Diaz. When I hit the third trimester, I’ll see him.”
Grady reached over to his desk and picked up a card from the holder there. He turned it around and jotted something on the back. Then he handed it to her. “My e-mail address is on the front. My cell phone number’s on the back. If you need anything—”
“I won’t, Grady. Really.”
“When you go into labor, I want to know.”
“When I go into labor? Why?”
“Because I want to be with you. I want to anticipate this baby being born and be there when he or she is. I mean it, Frannie. Don’t deny me that right.”
Remembering the night they’d spent together—his passion, tenderness and hunger, she assured him, “I won’t,” controlling her voice so it wouldn’t tremble. Then she tucked his card into her purse and turned to leave.
He followed her to the door.
After he’d opened it for her, he suggested, “I want you to think about the benefit of a child having two parents rather than one. I know it won’t be easy to do, but we’re smart people. We should be able to figure it out.”
She’d have six and a half more months to figure this out, thank goodness. She had a feeling she was going to need every day of those six and a half months to decide how she could coparent with Grady without being involved with him. Getting involved when she was actually ready for it wouldn’t be easy. Getting involved in this situation would be sheer lunacy.
As she said good-bye and left, she realized she liked having a nickname for the first time in her life…and she liked the sound of that nickname on Grady Fitzgerald’s lips.
Chapter Seven
Emily was concerned Jared had changed his mind about wanting to be with her at the charity banquet. He’d been quiet ever since he picked her up Saturday evening.
Now as they stood outside the ballroom, he asked, “Would you like me to check your shawl?”
“Please,” she replied, not wanting to be encumbered by the wrap at the dinner table.
She’d begun to shrug it off when she felt Jared’s large hand at her shoulder, helping her remove it. As his fingers brushed against her collarbone, she trembled. She glanced at him over her shoulder. When he gazed into her eyes, they seemed frozen in time. She was sure she saw desire in his eyes, but she wasn’t sure what else.
“Jared, is something wrong tonight?” she asked softly.
He let out a long sigh. “You mean besides the fact that you look prettier than I’ve ever seen you?”
There was frustration in his voice as his eyes ran over the black silk-jersey halter dress with its cranberry trim around the decolletage and hem. She’d worn her hair swept up into a bed of curls, and garnets dangled from delicate gold chain earrings.
His compliment bathed her with its male appreciation and she didn’t understand the problem.
Loose curls from her upswept hairdo dangled around her face. He fingered one and wrapped it around his index finger. “When you opened your door to me tonight, I didn’t want to bring you to some charity dinner. I wanted to—”
“Emily! Jared! We’ve been waiting for you. We snatched one of the tables for four.” Tessa rushed up to them and gave Emily a hug. “It seems like forever since I’ve seen you.”
Emily hugged her friend back. She missed Tessa’s presence in the house, but she wanted Jared to finish that sentence. She wanted to hear what he felt.
Tessa’s husband, Vince, gave her a hug, too. In the past month, she’d gotten to know him better and considered him a friend. She introduced him to Jared and the men shook hands.
“You were the chief of police in Sagebrush for a while, weren’t you?” Jared asked Vince.
“For a few months. I just started working for an investigative and security firm in Lubbock.”
Tessa hooked her arm through her husband’s. “We’d better reclaim our table or somebody might steal it.”
After Jared checked Emily’s shawl, his hand moved to the small of her back. She could feel the imprint of it through the thin fabric. “We’ll talk later,” he mumbled, guiding her into the ballroom.
Emily saw many faces she recognized. But with Jared’s hand on her back, her mind focused on his hand’s heat and texture and the trill of sparks that skipped down her spine. There was always heat when the two of them were together. What had he been about to say? That he wanted to make love to her? That he would rather have closed the door at her house and spent the night in bed with her? Could she satisfy him? Would his desire last beyond one night?
At the table, he pulled out her chair for her. When she sat, he leaned close as he pushed her in. If she turned her head, her cheek might graze his jaw. She took in a deep breath.
Jared straightened, but she was still so aware of him. The current between them tonight was lightning hot, lightning fast, and as dangerous as lightning.
Jared took the seat around the corner from Emily. She noticed the way his dark-brown hair waved over his forehead, the way his brow creased as if he was deep in thought. He was wearing a charcoal suit and a red-and-charcoal tie tonight. She saw him in a suit practically every day, but tonight—he seemed bigger than life, more than her boss, more than a friend. Maybe she was just deluding herself, believing he might be falling for her, too.
“Emily tells me she’s been spending time with your daughters,” Tessa observed, glancing from Emily to Jared as if she could sense the current rippling between them.
“Yes, she has,” Jared replied. “She’s very good with them.”
Tessa smiled fondly at Emily. “She’s one of our favorite babysitters.”
“How old are your children?” Jared asked.
Emily was grateful he was keeping the conversation going.
Tessa let Vince answer. “Natalie is fourteen months. Sean is ten months. You should bring the girls over sometime. The four of them would probably have a great play session.”
Emily watched Jared to see if he was open to the suggestion. To her surprise, he said, “That would be great. Amy and Courtney go to preschool now, but that’s only for three days a week.”
“What about tomorrow?” Tessa asked. “We can try out our new grill. Are you free?” she asked Emily.
Emily felt awkward. She didn’t want Jared to feel forced to spend time with her. She wasn’t sure what to say. “Yes, I’m free, but—” She glanced at Jared. “You three have a lot in common with your kids. I don’t want you to feel as if you have to invite me…” She trailed off.
Tessa looked from Emily to Jared. “I’m not playing matchmaker. I just thought we might all have a good time.”
Jared stepped into the awkwardness and covered Emily’s hand with his. Tingles swept up her arm. “I enjoy Emily’s company and I’m sure with four kids around we can use her help keeping them on an even keel.”
A three-piece band had been setting up and as they began playing couples headed to the dance floor.
Jared asked Emily, “Would you like to dance?”
“It’s been so long since I’ve been on a dance floor, I don’t know if I remember how.”
“It’s like riding a bicycle,” he teased, stood and offered her his hand. She took it, rising to her feet. With her hand in Jared’s, she felt…excited but safe. Her breaths quickened as she anticipated being held in his arms once more.
On the dance floor, they stood in the ballroom dancing position, a good six inches apart. Then he gave her a crooked smile, pulled her a little closer and wrapped his fingers tighter around hers.
Her breasts against his chest, her cheek against the fabric of his suit, she inhaled his cologne and felt almost dizzy from just being so close.
After the first verse of the song, Jared asked, “Why would you think I wouldn’t want you to go with me to Tessa and Vince’s?”
“Do you?” she asked, holding her breath.
“Yes.” His fingers moved against hers. “But it’s much safer for us to be in a crowd like this, or to be with another couple with kids around.”
Safer.
Now his eyes were serious. “I don’t want to hurt you. I told you I don’t want to get involved with anyone again. I never intend to remarry. Once was enough.”
He was so certain. Her hopes for more than one night, for a committed relationship dissolved. Yet maybe if she told him how she felt…“You and I both came through a divorce, but I guess I feel differently about it. I’d like to have a second chance at finding real happiness.”
“I’d rather just be content.”
She couldn’t argue with him about that, but she wanted more than contentment. She wanted to share her life, share her thoughts, share her dreams. But Jared didn’t. He was making himself perfectly clear.
For a short while, they simply danced. Jared’s firm guidance made it easy, though her heart raced at the slide of his fingers down her back, the pressure of his palm against hers. The expression on his face told her serious passion could develop between them if he let it.
Would he let it? Would she?
One song segued into the next and the dance floor became more crowded. Jared brought Emily closer to him. When she looked up, her lips were very near his cheek. The nerve in his jaw worked and she thought she could feel the thumping of his heart. Maybe the sensation was hers pounding even harder.
“You wanted to know why I was so quiet tonight when I picked you up.” His voice was low…intimate.
“I wondered if you regretted asking me to come tonight. ”
Leaning back slightly, he studied her, then shook his head. “Your ex-husband must have done a number on you. Any man would be glad to escort you.”
She felt herself blushing.
“You’re part of the reason why I was quiet. It’s not because I don’t want to be with you, because I do.”
“What’s the other part?”
“My mind’s on a discussion I had with my mother this afternoon.”
“She’s in rehab now?”
“Yes. And she’s making progress. But she’s worried. She’s worried she’ll be a burden rather than an asset when she comes home. She’s thinking that maybe after rehab, she should go into an assisted-living facility.”
“But you don’t think she should.”
“Only if that’s what she really wants. I think she’s just frustrated with not recovering more quickly, and after another week or so, she’ll be stronger. I also think she’ll be happier if she lives with us. If she can’t take care of the girls, I’ll hire a nanny. But I think it’s better for her to be with us than to be alone in a tiny apartment.”
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Ann Evans
Karen Rose Smith
The Midwife’s Glass Slipper Karen Rose SmithDr Jared Madison would risk almost anything for his adorable twin girls. But what they really needed was a mother’s loving touch – and the gorgeous Texan was still too wounded by the past to take a chance on romance. Would his new midwife change his mind?Best For the Baby Ann EvansAlaina fell in love with Zack when she was nine years old. Only things didn’t turn out the way she planned. But when the abandoned mother-to-be is forced to head for home – and Zack – their mutual attraction can’t be denied. Could Zack be the family man she’s been searching for?
THE MIDWIFE’S GLASS SLIPPER
“Do you want children of your own someday?” Jared asked.
“I do,” she answered truthfully, but then realised she didn’t have to bear an infant to be a mother. She’d be perfectly happy mothering Jared’s daughters.
The thought stopped her cold. She hadn’t realised she was falling for Jared so completely. Or how his twins had captured her heart.
She’d better not weave fantasies and dreams. He didn’t want an involvement. She shouldn’t take the risk.
Just then, Jared’s pager went off. He checked the number. “It’s my mother’s surgeon. I’m going to go outside to call.”
She watched Jared as he hurried into the anteroom. Dreams of wedding bells and lace with a partner who was tender and passionate and who loved with all his heart could never come true for her. At thirty-two, she was too old to believe in fairy tales.
Wasn’t she?
BEST FOR THE BABY
“Zack. I’ve missed having you in my life so much.”
Alaina smelled wonderful, as though she wore some delightful cologne, but he knew it was just her. Some invisible scent he had carried in his mind for years.
His chest expanded with excitement as he pulled her even nearer. He searched her face for some sign that he should turn her loose. He could not see one.
“Zack –”
“Shh.” He brought a finger to his lips. “Don’t say anything.”
Swept by desire, Zack lowered his mouth to hers. All the pain and frustration and longing of years past were channelled into his kiss.
Alaina’s lips were warm, welcoming. Sweet. A craving for more of her, for all of her, roared into his head, blocking out everything else.
He deepened the kiss. He did not want to stop. He couldn’t.
There was no other woman in the world he wanted to kiss more than Alaina Tillman. And this moment would be a fair price to pay for whatever came later.
Available in May 2010 from Mills & Boon® Special Moments™
Once Upon a Wedding by Stacy Connelly & Accidental Princess by Nancy Robards Thompson
The Midwife’s Glass Slipper by Karen Rose Smith & Best For the Baby by Ann Evans
Seventh Bride, Seventh Brother by Nicole Foster & First Come Twins by Helen Brenna
In Care of Sam Beaudry by Kathleen Eagle
A Weaver Wedding by Allison Leigh
Someone Like Her by Janice Kay Johnson
A Forever Family by Jamie Sobrato
The Midwife’s Glass Slipper
by
Karen Rose Smith
Best for The Baby
by
Ann Evans
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Table of Contents
Cover Page (#ub5a2a7b6-4d8b-5267-8c89-f2ece2a7c82a)
Excerpt (#u3facb351-0970-5ddc-b99b-a5c80b7d3dd4)
Other Books by (#u9b9e3ad0-95a4-51e3-ba9c-c4c732869301)
Title Page (#u56086bc4-8597-5a51-82c3-b3da708e1032)
The Midwifes Glass Slipper (#u43a1c9a8-3430-5322-aa61-fd45e05a8a75)
About the Author (#u478c8add-1e2b-5d9b-8689-5745c9e92c4d)
Chapter One (#u9e0c5ce5-08e7-5d3b-ab1c-cecb6c03d2a0)
Chapter Two (#ua5019d5d-4970-5d2b-a52e-aae0ab8f3f36)
Chapter Three (#ue0b8f1b1-8d29-5a27-a5e1-9ae63df9624c)
Chapter Four (#ub1777109-d9b3-5c87-aa58-2d750d785f20)
Chapter Five (#u0684ac00-f431-5ed6-96c9-a382f18b17a5)
Chapter Six (#ua8abea17-172b-50d3-90fd-e861ceead5af)
Chapter Seven (#u5f96a19a-396b-523f-a388-f7b08a0953bc)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Epilogue (#litres_trial_promo)
Best for The Baby (#litres_trial_promo)
About the Author (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter One (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Two (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Three (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Four (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fifteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Sixteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Epilogue (#litres_trial_promo)
Preview (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
The Midwife’s Glass Slipper
by
Karen Rose Smith
Karen Rose Smith has seen more than sixty novels published since 1991. Living in Pennsylvania with her husband – who was her college sweetheart – and their two cats, she has been writing full-time since the start of her career. She enjoys researching and visiting the West and Southwest, where this series of books is set. Readers can receive updates on Karen’s latest releases and write to her through her website at www.karenrosesmith.com, or at PO Box 1545, Hanover, PA 17331, USA.
To my husband Steve – may we always believe in fairytales.
Chapter One
Rising from the desk in her office, Emily Diaz hurried into the hall at the sound of children’s laughter.
Dr. Jared Madison stood there, his shock of dark-brown hair falling over his brow, his tie askew. He held the hands of his identical twin daughters. Usually the epitome of calm and tact, he dropped the stuffed unicorn he’d clutched under one arm.
One of the little girls—both were dressed in Cinderella T-shirts and pink shorts—let go of his hand and warned, “Don’t step on Stardust!”
“I’d never do that,” the physician replied, his Texas drawl more evident this morning than it usually was. He spotted Emily as his daughter saved the unicorn.
Emily didn’t know quite what to say. Dr. Madison had hired her over seven months ago to be his obstetrical nurse practitioner. Ever since she’d interviewed for the position, she’d felt…a current between them, though Dr. Madison had never been anything but professional. She’d told herself more than once that she wouldn’t get involved personally because she valued her job and because…
She shivered to think of the consequences for her job if he learned her secret.
“Who are you?” the twin not clutching Stardust piped up. Both girls were adorable with light-brown hair and huge green eyes, the same color green as their father’s.
Without thinking, Emily dropped down to the their eye level, her own black, very curly hair flowing forward to tickle her chin. She kept it banded back when she examined patients, but this morning she’d intended to spend a quiet morning in her office catching up on paperwork. “My name is Emily, and I work with your dad.”
Everyone knew Dr. Madison had twin, three-year-old daughters, though that was about all they knew. He was a very private man. One very tall, broad-shouldered, sexy man.
Emily tried to ignore him as she concentrated on the two little girls. “What are your names?” She glanced up at the physician, hoping he wouldn’t mind her asking.
The twins checked with their dad and he gave a nod.
“Amy,” the twin on the left easily told Emily.
The little girl on the right poked her finger into her mouth, studied Emily for a few moments, then mumbled, “I’m Courtney.”
Amy added, “Daddy’s taking care of us because Grandma fell boom.”
“Honey, how about if you and Amy go into my office?” He opened the door across the hall and gestured the girls inside.
His daughters ran into the office as if they’d never been there before, peering at everything in sight—the floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, the long mahogany desk, the two comfortable padded chairs facing it, the old-fashioned car replicas on the credenza, the coffeepot and packet of sandwich cookies on a side table.
“Cookies!” Courtney cried with glee, heading toward them.
But Dr. Madison was quick. “Oh, no. You just had breakfast.”
Striding to his desk, he bent to one of the drawers, opened it and took out several sheets of blank paper. Then he reached into the pencil holder on his desk, plucking out two markers.
He pointed to the carpet at the side of the room. “How about if you draw for a couple of minutes while I find some toys in the waiting room?”
He glanced at Emily, still in the hall. After giving his girls the paper and markers, he met her at the door and lowered his voice. “My mother takes care of them and she fell this morning. Unfortunately, they saw it. The ambulance, too. They were upset and I couldn’t get hold of my cousin who watches them sometimes. I had no choice but to bring them in.”
He checked his watch. “I’m going to have patients to see in about fifteen minutes. I could try to reroute them to the partners—”
“I’ll watch the twins.”
As he studied Emily, she could hear every one of her heartbeats. She was wearing a cranberry suit this morning. She’d lost weight over the past year and a half because of everything she’d been through, but she still had a well-rounded figure. Usually it was covered by her yellow smock. Now it wasn’t. She didn’t know why she’d offered to watch his girls. Maybe it was because she missed being around babies and children. She took care of pregnant moms now, but she didn’t assist in deliveries. Back in Corpus Christi, in addition to being a midwife, she used to volunteer at the pediatric unit at the hospital. She thought wistfully of her old life—before the lawsuit and her divorce and the move to Sagebrush, Texas. She was lucky, she told herself, to live a short drive from these offices in Lubbock, at the Family Tree Health Center.
“Why would you want to watch them?” he asked.
She shrugged. “Because I like kids and I don’t have patients this morning. My first appointment isn’t until one. I don’t know what you’re going to do this afternoon, but I can cover the morning.”
Dr. Madison was a good six inches taller than she was. He looked down at her and suddenly smiled. “How do you know they’re not hellions on wheels?”
When she peeked around him into his office, her arm brushed his. Her heart practically stopped from the jolt of electric current. Had he felt it, too?
She quickly scanned what the girls were doing. They were drawing.
When Emily met his gaze again, she saw the glint of interest there. “They look more like cherubs than hellions, and from the way they settled down so quickly, I’d say they’re well behaved. But I have been known to be wrong. If I am, you can add a bonus to my salary.”
He laughed and seemed surprised he did.
Emily knew Dr. Madison was cordial with his patients. But he was usually serious otherwise. She’d gotten the impression that the lines around his eyes hadn’t come from laughing, though maybe they’d been deepened by it with his daughters. In his early forties, he was a widower. Emily wondered if his serious nature and the lines on his face had something to do with that.
“I’d be forever grateful if you could handle them for the morning,” he decided. “I don’t know if there are enough toys in the waiting room to keep them occupied for that long.”
“With LEGOs, a miniature farm set to play with and my origami skills, I think we’ll be fine.”
“Origami skills?” He grinned. “Have you been hiding your talents?”
The word hiding made her almost panic. Calm down! she told herself. This jumpiness was why she’d never had such a long, personal conversation with Dr. Madison. “Not so hidden. I did a science project on origami when I was in high school. In college, I took to it as an art. So as long as I have paper to fold, the girls might be a little fascinated.”
The doctor’s cell phone beeped a few times and he snatched it from his belt, opening it. “Excuse me,” he said to Emily. “It’s Dr. Garcia from the hospital. I asked him to call me as soon as my mother had X-rays.”
When he stepped outside the room, Emily stepped inside, but she was still aware of his cologne, still aware of his tall, lean physique, still aware of everything about the man whom she’d admired since he’d hired her.
She sank down to the floor beside the girls. “Tell me about your pictures.”
Courtney explained the boxy vehicle she’d drawn had come to their house with lights flashing. Amy’s picture, on the other hand, was a stick figure of a man with a stetho-scope around his neck. Anyone else examining the picture could have mistaken it for a necklace, but Emily guessed the girls had seen their father wearing it.
When Emily saw Jared had finished his call, she stood and went out to the hall again.
He was frowning, looking troubled. “My mother’s hip is broken,” he said gruffly. “After discussing it with her, they’ve decided to do surgery.” He sighed and raked his hand through his hair. “That means she’ll be in the hospital for a week, rehab for two. I have to get hold of my cousin to see if she’ll be willing to help out. She’s a free spirit, doesn’t like to be tied down, so I don’t know how this will play into her plans.”
“Dr. Madison, I’m so sorry.”
Their gazes met again and Emily felt a shiver of male-female awareness.
“You’ve been here long enough to call me Jared.”
“I didn’t think time had anything to do with it. You’re my boss.”
He gave her a half smile. “I am. But I think those stringent barriers have blurred a bit this morning. Is it all right if I call you Emily?”
She felt her cheeks start to flush. “Yes, that’s fine.”
“You could take the girls into the lounge,” he suggested.
In the very small room with a table and chairs and refrigerator, employees came and went. There wasn’t really enough room to gather, even if they had time.
“I think I’ll take them to my office. It’s bigger. Can they have juice? I know there’s some in the refrigerator.”
“Juice, but nothing else that’s sweet. I’m hoping the morning goes smoothly and I can buy them lunch at the deli.”
The Family Tree Health Center really was a center for specialty practices. Conveniently, there was a café on the first floor and a deli cart sandwich station on the second.
“If you get tied up, I’ll get them something.”
“Emily, do you know what you’re volunteering for? Children can be tiring and cranky.”
“And an absolute joy. We’ll be fine. Really. Trust me.”
A shadow passed over Jared’s face and Emily wondered whether trust was difficult for him. Why?
Trust wasn’t easy for her, either. In fact, except for her housemates, Francesca and Tessa, she usually kept to herself. It had seemed safer, especially in a new place. She had to remind herself Tessa was no longer her housemate. Her friend had gotten married and moved out last week.
“I’ll get the toys,” Jared said, grounding Emily in the here and now.
His gaze locked with hers again and she seemed mesmerized for a moment by the mysterious green of his eyes. Then he broke the spell and strode toward the reception area.
When Jared’s last appointment for the morning canceled, he was almost relieved. He had to see how Emily Diaz and his daughters were faring. He’d looked in on them briefly after their first hour with her, and they hadn’t even noticed he was there! Quite a feat, since after they’d lost their mother, they’d stuck to him like glue. It said something about Emily’s charm. She’d seemed so…robotic since he’d hired her. Maybe because he’d felt sparks he shouldn’t have felt when he’d interviewed her and she’d sensed his masculine interest. Yet, he told himself, there was no interest. With a failed marriage that had been mostly his fault, and his daughters to take care of on his own, he wasn’t about to get involved with anyone, not even a dark-haired, brown-eyed beauty who might ease his restlessness.
When he peeked into Emily’s office, he heard Amy’s awe as she said, “It looks like a swan. There’s a swan in one of my story books.”
“I think I know which one,” Emily offered. “The Ugly Duckling.”
Both girls nodded vigorously. “What else can you make?” they chorused.
Jared noticed the array of toys on the floor, a daily occurrence at his house, too. The August sun streamed in the window as his twins sat together in one chair beside Emily’s desk. She was just around the corner with colored sheets of paper splayed here and there.
When Courtney saw him she scrambled from her chair and hugged him around his legs. “Emily knows how to play with toys. She was a farmer.”
“She took the milk to market,” Amy piped in.
“Well, you have been busy. I happen to have an extra half hour freed up. I brought us lunch.” He opened bags on the desk and produced an array of food from sandwiches to salads to fruit cups.
As he settled the girls with a half sandwich each and some milk, he asked Emily, “Would you consider doing this for the afternoon, too?” Unbelievably, he did trust her with his daughters.
“I have patients.”
“I know you do. But Tom’s OB nurse is free this afternoon and he said he wouldn’t mind lending her to me and she’s willing to help. I know this is a lot to ask, but I’d really like to keep some continuity with the girls, and I still haven’t been able to reach Chloie. Sometimes, when she doesn’t want to feel tied down, she’ll leave her cell phone at home. So I have no idea where she is.”
Jared found himself studying Emily again, wanting to get to know her better. They were across the desk from each other, yet there seemed to be a magnetic pull that shortened the distance between them.
Emily chose a fruit cup from the lunch assortment. “Maybe you’d like to talk to Amy and Courtney and find out if they’ve been having a good time.”
“The smiles on their faces when I came in and their rapt attention to you told me all I need to know.”
She looked surprised by the compliment…as if she didn’t get many. Then she asked, “If I watch them this afternoon, do you mind if I take them for a walk down to the garden to look at the fountain?”
Jared hesitated.
“I promise I’ll hold their hands and never let them out of my sight. I know how precious children are, Jared.”
The sound of his name on her lips made his gut tighten. Damn, but he was attracted to her. “All right. But let me know when you leave and when you return.”
He’d lost people in his life. He needed to know his daughters were safe.
He instinctively felt they were safe with Emily.
Ever since he’d hired her, something about her had intrigued him. But he’d shut down that intrigue. He’d tried to turn off the current of electricity that vibrated whenever he got close to her. He was the boss. He shouldn’t be thinking anything but professional thoughts about her.
At the end of the day, Jared found his daughters with Emily in her office, building houses with glue and tongue depressors.
“Have you gotten hold of your cousin?” she asked as soon as she saw him. She lowered her eyes.
Was she trying to avoid the pull of attraction that he was feeling, too? He’d been away from the dating circuit for so long, maybe he was mistaking her kindness for chemistry.
“I’ve left messages for her. I’m hoping she’ll call me this evening.” Then before he even realized what he planned to do, he asked, “Can I repay you tonight with a take-out dinner? Or have you spent enough time in the company of kids?”
He’d never invited a woman back to the house with his girls. Actually, he was hoping for a little adult conversation that wasn’t professional in nature. How long had it been since he’d spent a casual evening talking?
Just talking? his conscience asked. He ignored it.
A light pink color rose to Emily’s cheeks as her gaze met his again. “I’d like that. But I should go home and change first.”
“There’s nothing wrong with what you’re wearing.”
Her eyes widened in surprise as if she hadn’t expected him to notice. Oh, he’d noticed all right. Her slim jacket delineated her breasts and molded to her waist. The tailored slacks fit her hips perfectly.
“I thought casual might be better with the girls.” Then she blushed. “I don’t even know where you live. Do you have a place here in Lubbock?”
“I don’t live far from the hospital. You live in Sagebrush, don’t you?”
“Yes. I share a house with two friends. Actually one now. Tessa got married last week.”
“Tessa McGuire? The pediatrician?”
“Yes. It’s Rossi now. Do you know her?”
“We’ve consulted a few times.”
“My other roommate is Francesca Talbot.”
He nodded. “The neonatologist. I’ve consulted with her more than with Dr…Rossi.”
“I met them after I took my job here. It’s more economical to share a house than—” Her cheeks grew a little pinker. “More information than you need to know,” she said with a small smile.
He found he wanted to know so much more about Emily, and that was dangerous. He never intended to marry again. And to get involved when he had little spare time seemed foolish. Yet she was so pretty with her curly hair, high cheekbones and big brown eyes. She had a great figure, too. His ex-wife had always been way too thin. Had the cancer started before anyone knew it? He should have looked closer…deeper.
Courtney took Emily’s hand. “Come home wif us?”
She hesitated as if she might be having second thoughts, then smiled. “It would be silly of me to drive back to Sagebrush to change. I’ll follow you if that’s okay.”
“Sounds good,” Jared agreed, determined to forget about the past at least for tonight and not think too seriously about kissing Emily. It was a good thing his daughters would be around as pint-sized chaperones. He really didn’t need an entanglement or a complication in his life, especially now with his mother in the hospital. He’d call her on the way home. He should stop in tonight… There were never enough hours in the day.
A half hour later, Jared set the takeout on his dining-room table. Emily was at his elbow, close enough to touch. He found the idea of touching her aroused him. His sexual urges had been in deep freeze for so long that he welcomed feeling alive again.
So much for pint-sized chaperones. They were already digging into their toy box in the great room.
“Girls, go on to the bathroom and wash your hands. I’ll be there in a minute.”
Jared went to the kitchen and Emily followed. “What can I do?”
Apparently she was a doer like he was. “Set the table?” he suggested, opening the cabinet that held dishes.
There were two sets—plain white ironstone dishes and then a collection of cream china with tiny blue roses.
“Oh, how pretty,” Emily commented.
“Those are my mother’s. She insists we use them every holiday. They have to be hand-washed.”
“You don’t like the tradition?”
“I never thought of it that way—as a tradition, I mean. When I was growing up—” He stopped short. “Traditions are okay as long as they bring along happy memories with them. Those dishes don’t.”
Emily looked puzzled, but he wasn’t going to go into his background. Not now. Probably not ever.
“I understand you’re a widower,” Emily said. “How long has it been since your wife died?”
He stopped for a moment, startled because she’d been so direct.
“I’m sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned it. It’s one of the pieces of information everyone at Family Tree has about you.”
“One of the pieces?” He lifted dishes from the cupboard, not knowing whether to be amused or annoyed.
He could see Emily was flustered, but she went ahead anyway. “Everyone seems to know you’re a widower and have three-year-old twin girls.”
“Three and a half,” he amended. “And if that’s all ‘everyone’ knows, I guess I should consider myself lucky.”
After setting the dinnerware on the counter, he leaned back against it and crossed his arms over his chest. As soon as he did it, he knew it was a defensive gesture. He was feeling defensive. Still, Emily’s honesty prompted the same kind of honesty from him.
“Two years ago I was divorced. Six months later my wife died of cancer.”
“I’m so sorry.”
He uncrossed his arms and let them drop to his sides. “Valerie had had custody of the girls and I had liberal visitation rights. But taking over their full care was a real shocker.”
“I imagine it must have been.”
Usually he didn’t want to talk about this with anyone, but he found discussing the situation with Emily wasn’t so bad. “My mother stepped in to help. Honestly, I don’t know what I would have done without her. Hired a nanny, I guess. That’s what I’m going to have to do now until she’s back on her feet. I set up an interview with someone from a service tomorrow afternoon.”
That was certainly enough about him. He wanted to know more about Emily. “I remember from your application that you were from Corpus Christi.”
“Yes, I was born and raised there. I’d never lived anywhere else until I moved to Sagebrush.”
“Culture shock?”
“From east Texas to west Texas, beach to plains. I’m getting used to it. I’m even beginning to like it.”
“You intend to stay here?”
“I hope to. I like my work. I’ve made great friends. What else could a girl ask for?”
There was something in Emily’s eyes that told him she might like a lot more, children maybe, a family. He noticed she didn’t wear perfume, not the kind other women wore, anyway. But she always smelled like a summer garden. Maybe it was her shampoo. Maybe something she dabbed in intimate places.
They were standing close, close enough that if he leaned forward just a little—
But she suddenly caught her breath. He leaned away. Then he cleared his throat and, feeling as awkward as a teenager, mumbled, “I’d better see what trouble the girls are getting into.” If that wasn’t an exit line, he didn’t know what was.
When he and Amy and Courtney returned to the dining room, he stopped short. Emily hadn’t just put food on the dishes; she’d set places, napkins included. She’d found a place mat from somewhere, put that in the middle and piled the entrees on platters and the sides in serving dishes. Instead of the plastic forks and spoons from the restaurant, she’d used real silverware.
“I hope you girls are hungry.” She pulled out a chair for each of them so they could hop on. She pushed Amy in while he helped Courtney.
Leaning close to him, she said in a low voice, “I thought the girls would have trouble eating with the plastic forks.”
“Are you used to spending time with children?” She seemed to know exactly what to do.
“I’ve never had any of my own, but when I was in Corpus Christi, I volunteered in a pediatric ward when I had time off.”
So that’s how she’d spent her free time. He was seeing facets of Emily he’d never had time to explore.
“Have you ever been married?” he asked as he pulled her chair out for her.
She looked surprised he’d done the gentlemanly thing. It had been a long time since he’d wanted to do the gentlemanly thing.
“Yes, I was married. I’ve been divorced about a year.”
Now it was his turn to ask a blunt question. “Is that why you moved here?”
This time she didn’t hesitate. “I needed a fresh start.”
His hands were on the chair back, close to her hair. She was looking up at him over her shoulder. He was so tempted to push her curls away from her face, to erase the little frown line on her forehead, to tell her he understood about wanting a new beginning.
Yet he’d figured out the past dogged him no matter where he went, or how badly he tried to forget. Did her past dog her, too?
The urge to ask her was strong and on the tip of his tongue when the cell phone on his belt beeped. He almost swore, and then he realized he should be glad for the interruption. This evening was becoming intense and personal.
Straightening, he unhitched the phone, checked the number and held it to his ear. It was his service. Crossing to the counter, he found a notepad and a pen and jotted down the number.
He said to Emily, “I think Lubbock is about to have a new citizen who doesn’t want to wait until its due date. I have to check with the mother-to-be. Go ahead and start eating.”
As he dialed his patient, he noticed Emily asking the girls what they wanted and then selecting their food for them and helping them with it. She was so conscious of what they needed…such a natural with them.
When he finished on the phone, she took one look at his face and asked, “Do you need me to stay with the girls?”
He didn’t want to ask her to do that. He certainly didn’t want to depend on her. If he examined his reasons, they were simple. Today he’d felt a connection with her—a connection that was getting stronger each minute he was with her.
Seeing that the girls were occupied with eating, she pushed back her chair and came over to stand by him. “It’s really all right if you need me to stay. I don’t have any other commitments.”
“I don’t know how long this will go. The contractions are three and a half minutes apart, but this is her first baby. Anything can happen.”
“Tomorrow’s my day off. If you’re not back until late, I’ll just fall asleep on the couch.”
If he was late and if she fell asleep on his couch, something could happen that would startle her awake very fast.
He lowered his voice. “Have you ever heard of night terrors?”
She studied him. “They’re a type of children’s nightmare.”
“Yes, in a way. Though the child often doesn’t remember the nightmare after he or she wakes up. Courtney has them. I can’t let you stay without warning you about them. And if you don’t want to deal with that, I’ll have to find another doctor to cover for me.”
He fully expected her to be put off by the idea, to want to pick up her purse and leave. Instead, she said, “Explain to me what to do if Courtney has one. As long as I’m prepared, I can handle the situation.”
Jared was starting to realize that he’d examined Emily’s résumé, phoned her brief reference list and hired her, but he didn’t really know her.
Tonight, that could change. He wasn’t sure whether he should get to know Emily better…or not.
Chapter Two
Opening her eyes, Emily heard her name as if from a great distance.
“Emily, it’s midnight.”
The feel of Jared’s hand on her shoulder sent tingles throughout her body that brought her awake quickly.
Crouched down beside her, he wore scrubs and smelled as if he’d freshly showered. In fact, his hair was still damp. His muscled arm lay next to hers, almost touching it. His thigh muscles were obvious against the blue cotton fabric. Most of all, she noticed his eyes. They were so green, lighter at first, then more intense, more filled with—
Desire? She hadn’t seen desire in a man’s eyes for a very long time.
As he leaned closer, her anticipation was as rich as the hunger and need in his eyes. But then he stood and ran his hand over his brow.
She sat up but she didn’t want to get her purse and say good-night. She wanted to know if she was right about the vibrations between them.
She patted the sofa next to her. “You look beat. Decompress a little. Tell me about the birth.”
When he gazed at her, his eyes were filled with something she didn’t understand. Questions. What would he be questioning?
“You really want to hear?”
“Sure! Babies are our business. What’s most important to my pregnant moms is what kind of delivery they’ll have and if their baby will be healthy. I like to hear what happens after they leave my care.”
“I never thought of it that way. You don’t usually see the finished result.”
An ache enfolded her heart. She so missed seeing the finished result. “I go to the hospital nursery and take a peek. Sometimes the moms bring babies back to the office to visit after they’re born. But for the most part, I don’t know what happens after they leave me.”
“Tonight was a breeze for a first baby. Leanne’s contractions were two and a half minutes apart when I got there. Her husband was a great coach and she had good focus. By eleven thirty, she had a baby girl, and I was ready for a shower.”
“What do you feel when it happens?”
He appeared startled for a moment and then gave her a long assessing look. “No one has ever asked me that.”
She could see that was true and she wondered why. After all, that feeling was the reason she had delivered baby after baby as a midwife. That feeling was what made it all worthwhile.
He glanced down at his hands as if he was trying to relive the birth. The fatigue left his face. “It’s an unexplainable moment. It’s a moment when something you believe can’t possibly happen, does. It’s a moment when life is precious and men understand why they live and fight and die for what they hold dear.”
“It’s a moment,” she murmured, “when heaven meets earth.”
He studied her and she realized she’d said too much. She should tell him she knew firsthand all about that moment. Yet because of the lawsuit, he might not want her practicing with him. If she told him her history, this closeness she was feeling to him right now could simply vanish.
“You sound as if you know.”
“I’ve attended births.” She didn’t add that she was the one who had caught the baby in her hands.
His shoulder brushed hers as he admitted, “In that moment when a child is born, I forget the long hours and the hassles and the schedule shuffling. I guess most of life is that way. We work for the payoff, and if the payoff keeps us satisfied, we keep doing it.”
“It’s more than a payoff.” She remembered the feel of that little wet body in her hands…the eyes coming open…the first cry. How she missed it. How she wished she had the courage to go back and be part of delivering babies all over again.
Jared angled toward her. They were close enough to feel each other’s breath. “You really do understand.”
“I take care of moms and teach them how to take care of themselves for a reason.”
His large hand was so gentle as he stroked her cheek and pushed her curls away from her face. “I’ve never met anyone like you, Emily. Not everyone can understand the joy of holding a baby. You make what you do and what I do sound like more than a profession. You make it sound special and worthwhile.”
“It is.” She wanted to say more…she wanted to tell him that’s why she’d gone into women’s homes to help them have their babies there. She yearned to say that she’d believed in home births because light and love and friendship could surround the newborn before, during and after the moment of birth. Yet she’d come to doubt that ideal. She’d come to doubt her judgment and skill. With those doubts lurking, she could never do it again. She’d be more prone to making a mistake. Mistakes were unacceptable when you were bringing a child into the world.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
She tried to blank her mind because he’d read it too well. “Nothing.”
“You looked lost for a moment.”
Not lost, she wanted to say. Not when I’m with you. But she couldn’t. It was too soon. The feelings were taboo. He was her boss.
Still, any thoughts of boss and employee, of too soon or not soon enough, evaporated as he leaned still closer. “Emily, I don’t know what it is about you.”
His lips were just a breath from brushing hers. “I don’t know what it is about you,” she whispered back.
His arm went around her, strong and protective. She nestled into it as if she belonged there…as if she belonged with him. When he tightened his embrace, his eyes were serious. But his mouth was curved in a small smile as if he were anticipating everything they were about to do.
She felt that same breath-hitching expectancy. The wait for his kiss was life-changing. In that moment, she put her divorce behind her. She took the present in her hands and hoped for a future that could include Jared. Her thoughts surprised her, almost as much as the touch of his lips on hers.
So many sensations bombarded her at once. The pressure of his lips was firm. The texture of his skin was taut and warm. The hunger behind his first touch was restrained, yet pulsing to be let loose. She readied herself for it. Then she realized, she couldn’t be ready for it.
As his mouth opened over hers, as he demanded a response, as she got lost, she couldn’t think about what she was doing. All she could do was give back whatever he asked. When his tongue stroked hers, she eagerly met each exploration. When he angled his head a little differently, her hands rose to his shoulders and then brushed into his hair. She held on to him so he could take her wherever he wanted to go.
He couldn’t seem to get enough. She could feel her skin getting hotter, her cheeks flushing to match his level of arousal. They were both revved up and ready for more. But when his hands moved to her waist and inched her blouse out of her waistband, reality became a pressing concern. As soon as his hand touched the skin of her midriff, she wanted nothing more than to let him finish what they’d started. Yet she knew she couldn’t. This was her boss. She needed her job, secret or no secret, and she’d just put it in jeopardy. How could she get out of this situation without looking like a foolish teenager who didn’t know what she was doing?
But just as Jared had seemed to read her before, his hand slid away from her, his tongue ceased exploring and his mouth—although his lips clung a little—broke off their kiss. She heard his rough sigh.
Then she opened her eyes to gaze into his.
He turned from her slightly, rubbed his hand over his chin, shifted away, then focused on her. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
It seemed as if the words were hard for him to say, as if he didn’t want to say them but knew he had to.
“I shouldn’t have let you.”
“It will not happen again,” he said as if reassuring himself of that. “This isn’t an excuse, but I’ve never met anyone who understood that moment of birth like you do.” He rubbed his hands on his thighs. “This won’t affect our working relationship. I mean, you don’t have to worry about your job.”
That was a relief but didn’t address the attraction still simmering between them. “We can’t pretend it didn’t happen.”
“No, we can’t. I’ll remember it every time I look at you. But I can control my actions.” He glanced toward the kitchen and the message machine. “Did you get any phone calls tonight from Chloie Madison?”
“No, I didn’t.”
He looked troubled.
“That’s your cousin?”
“Yes. I need her tomorrow.”
Should she offer to help or not? Should she step in deeper or move away?
Yet, thinking about how she’d loved taking care of Amy and Courtney, she offered, “I can help.” But perhaps her help wouldn’t be wanted after what had just happened. “My day off is tomorrow,” she reminded him. “I can look after the girls if you need me.”
She saw in his eyes that he needed her in a much more basic and intimate way. But then the spark of desire diminished and control took its place.
She added, “I usually just run errands on my day off. But after what just happened, I’ll understand if the situation is too awkward.”
He seemed to think about the pros and cons. “The truth is—I’m surprised you’re still here.”
Emily certainly couldn’t say she didn’t run from problems. That’s exactly what she’d done with the whole mess in Corpus Christi and her divorce. But she liked to think she was mature enough to face a problem without turning away from it. “What happened between you and me doesn’t have to affect me watching your girls. You have surgeries in the morning and won’t even be here.”
“I’m interviewing a nanny in the afternoon, but that’s at my office. Are you sure you’ll feel comfortable with this?”
Jared Madison demanded honesty. She’d learned that over the months she’d worked with him. “I like Courtney and Amy. I’ll be comfortable here.”
He nodded and pushed himself up from the sofa away from her. “All right. I’ll take you up on your offer. But I’ve got to tell you, I don’t like being in debt to anyone. I’ll pay you. Your time is valuable, too.”
“No,” came out of her mouth before she had time to think about it. “I don’t want any payment. Let’s just say we’re doing this friend to friend.”
After he studied her again, really studied her, he nodded. “All right. For now. But I will find a way to repay you.”
She really didn’t want him to repay her, and she suddenly realized why. The crush she’d had on him, if she could call it that, was turning into something else. Now that she was getting to know him, could she be falling in love with him?
That question scared her too much to even consider.
The following afternoon, Jared tapped his loafered foot under his desk, impatient though he shouldn’t be. This woman sitting across from him could be Courtney and Amy’s next nanny, although he couldn’t quite imagine it.
“You’ve lived in Lubbock all your life?” he asked Mrs. Brunswell, a sturdy woman in her early fifties with gray hair that stood out around her head like a fuzzy halo.
Very straight in her chair, she answered him, “Yes, all my life. I’ve no desire to go anywhere. Some people want to see the world. I make myself happy right here in Lubbock.”
Would she curb the girls’ curiosity about the world? Would she make them think Lubbock was all there was? On the other hand, it was good to be happy where you were. He was second-guessing himself, trying to find the perfect person to take care of his daughters. If he had to admit it, he’d already found her. Emily would be perfect. But she had a job that he knew was important to her, even though he wondered if she wouldn’t be better suited working in the hospital, helping to deliver babies.
The older woman sat forward in her chair. “You said you have twins, Dr. Madison. The first thing to do with twins is to show them that they are individuals. It’s much better not to dress them alike and not to let them spend all their time together. They also need to explore individual talents. If one takes piano lessons, the other should take clarinet. They deserve their own instrument. Do you know what I mean?”
Courtney and Amy liked to dress alike. They didn’t have to. They had plenty of clothes in their closets, but they chose to wear the same outfits on the same days. They liked to be with each other. They played with other children and would be doing more of that when preschool started next week. But they preferred each other’s company. Should he really interfere with that? What would Emily think?
He moved to the next point on his checklist. “In my occupation I have unusual hours. Would you be able to cook supper for them if need be?”
“I can cook, but I don’t make chicken nuggets and French fries. I cook good meals—pork and sauerkraut, spinach and zucchini casseroles, lots of vegetables, good protein, few potatoes. I have to cut out those carbohydrates, you know.”
Jared thought about Emily serving the takeout food. He thought of Emily, helping cut Courtney’s meat. He thought of Emily retying the bows in Amy’s hair. What kind of meals would Emily cook if given the chance?
In spite of the restraint he’d been employing ever since last night and their earth-shaking kiss, he’d tried to keep his mind strictly on the practical aspects of his day. But he could not just drop that kiss from his memory. He couldn’t just push it into a closet and lock the door. It kept peeking out. It kept unsettling him. It kept reminding him he was a man with needs. Just thinking about it aroused him and that had to stop.
Pork and sauerkraut. Spinach. Caring. Playing. Connecting.
“Do you know children’s games?” he suddenly asked.
“I can play gin rummy and crazy eights,” Mrs. Brunswell replied, as if those were the only games required.
“I’m thinking of outside games, too—hide-and-seek, scavenger hunts.”
“Oh, I suppose we could do those.”
Fair or unfair, he was getting the feeling that Mrs. Brunswell might keep an eye to the TV while she played crazy eights with her charges. She looked slow-footed to him as if running after a child would take a great deal of effort.
Jared’s cell phone beeped and he was glad for the interruption. “Excuse me,” he said to Mrs. Brunswell. Then swiveling away from her, he checked the number. It was Emily. “What’s wrong?” he asked, worried.
“Nothing’s wrong. The girls are fine. I’m fine. We’re having a great day. Two things,” she said quickly. “First of all, your cousin Chloie called.”
“Why didn’t she call my cell?”
“She just got around to checking her messages and didn’t have your number in her contact list. The good news is she can help you. She’s on South Padre Island meeting with a client and will be back tonight. She can take care of the twins tomorrow. She said she’s caught up on her Web design deadlines and can take a break.”
“Thank goodness,” he muttered, glad he didn’t have to find a nanny right away. “And the second?” Hearing in Emily’s voice the sweetness, caring and enthusiasm, he knew he could never hire Mrs. Brunswell.
“Second,” Emily went on, “I’d like to take the girls to the park this afternoon. I’ll be very careful with them, keep my eyes on them all the time. The fresh air would be good for them.”
He suddenly realized he trusted Amy and Courtney with Emily because they couldn’t stop talking about her, because of the expression on her face whenever she was with them. Whatever the reason, it was gut instinct. His gut instinct was telling him to dismiss Mrs. Brunswell. If Chloie could watch the girls until his mother was on her feet again, he wouldn’t need to hire a nanny. “The park will be fine. I’m going to check in on my mother and then I’ll be home.”
After he closed his phone, he concentrated on Mrs. Brunswell again, searching for the words to tell her he wasn’t hiring her.
Emily felt like a mom and loved the feeling! With the Texas-bright sun peeking around the clouds, she helped Amy from the swing, then took her hand and Courtney’s. They walked through the grass to the merry-go-round. Although she felt like a mom, she wasn’t. Soon Jared’s daughters would be under someone else’s care. “You’ll be playing with Chloie soon. That should be fun.”
“Are you going away like our mommy did?” Amy asked.
This was dangerous territory. Emily didn’t know enough about the situation to speak with the girls about it. At three and a half, how much could they remember about their mother?
“I’m not going to go away. I’m going to go back to working where your dad works.”
“Mommy ran away and never came back,” Courtney informed Emily seriously.
Was that how Jared had explained their mother’s absence? Had they heard adults discussing it? She didn’t believe Jared should just let them think their mother went away and never came back. Yet Emily knew she had no right to discuss this with them.
“Is Grandma coming back?” Amy wanted to know as they reached the merry-go-round.
“Your grandma hurt herself and has to have an operation. She might have to go to a special hospital for a little while before she can come home.”
Courtney and Amy exchanged a glance as if this had been something they’d been worrying about. These two had a special bond and Emily hoped it would last throughout their lives. She’d often wished for a sister. She’d lost her dad to a construction-site accident when she was in high school. Her mom had died of an aneurysm a year before she and Richard had married. Looking back at her life, Emily wondered if she’d worn blinders and hadn’t seen Richard’s faults because she didn’t want to be alone in the world, because she’d wanted to cling to that one person who was supposed to always stand beside her. But he hadn’t. And by the time the lawsuit had been resolved, she’d realized how different their values were.
After Emily pushed the girls on the merry-go-round, they tried out the jungle gym while she sat on a concrete bench and watched. Suddenly a deep male voice behind her said, “They look as if they’re having fun. Maybe I should get some equipment like that for the backyard.”
Emily swiveled on the bench and looked up into Jared’s penetrating green eyes. He was studying her loose-fitting red blouse and jeans, and she felt as if he were seeing more than her outside appearance. He’d apparently left his suit jacket in the car and rolled up his shirtsleeves. His tie was pulled down a little and the top button of his shirt open. Could he possibly know how sexy he looked, standing there with the sunshine gleaming on the russet strands in his dark-brown hair?
She returned her attention to the girls. “I think they’d enjoy a play set in the backyard.”
Angling around the bench, he sat beside her.
They were silent for a few moments; then he commented, “It’s been a long time since I’ve sat in the sun and watched them play. I think I’ve forgotten how to relax. I’m usually getting them dressed, feeding them, rushing off somewhere.”
“You don’t have to rush off somewhere now?” she asked.
“Not for a few hours. I have to return to the hospital later to check on patients. Can you stay through the evening?”
The more she was around Jared, the more she wanted to be around Jared. “I can stay.”
“Good, then why don’t I cook us an early dinner?”
“You cook?”
His eyebrows shot up. “You doubt me?”
“No, but are we talking about more than hot dogs or scrambled eggs?”
He laughed. “How about chicken Alfredo? We’ll stop off at the market on the way home and get what we need.”
“You shop, too?” she teased.
He shook his head. “I can see someone’s been giving you a mistaken impression of grown men.” She went quiet.
“Your ex-husband didn’t shop?”
“No, he relied on me for that.”
After a few heartbeats, he asked, “How long were you married?”
“Six years. I met Richard when I was working toward my nurse practitioner certification.”
Jared stared straight ahead, his gaze on his twins as he asked casually, “Have you dated since your divorce?”
Was he personally interested or just making conversation? “No, I haven’t dated. I’ve been trying to get my life back on track.” She waited a few moments, then took the opportunity to ask, “Have you dated?”
“No, I’ve been too busy to think about it.”
Now he turned to study her, his gaze steady on hers. She read the flicker of desire in his eyes, a hunger that told her he was telling her the truth. It had been so long since a man touched her intimately, since a man had kissed her like Jared had kissed her last night. On second thought, she’d never been kissed like that before.
“There’s chemistry between us,” he said simply.
“I know.”
“It’s hard to ignore.”
They both had agreed to do that. But with her just sitting here beside Jared, her attraction to him and his to her was palpable.
She saw a shadow pass over his face. “What?” she asked softly.
“I was thinking about how my marriage ended. Valerie couldn’t accept the time I spent away from home. She hated the phone ringing in the middle of the night. Our plans were disrupted lots of times by my work, and I can understand how that disappointed her. My profession was the reason why we divorced. It’s an obstacle to any relationship. ”
Emily absorbed that, then suggested, “Unless the woman you’re dating understands.”
There was a longing in Jared’s eyes now. Maybe it was the longing to believe her. Maybe it was the longing to have a mother for his children. Maybe it was a longing he didn’t believe he could ever satisfy.
Maybe, she guessed, he was sorry he’d brought up the subject because suddenly he stood and called, “Amy! Courtney! Let’s go home. Too much sun and you’ll look like red beets.”
Emily smiled as the girls giggled. The tension between her and Jared eased. Yet she couldn’t stop thinking about his kiss. Would a second kiss be even more potent than the first?
She might never know.
Chapter Three
Emily felt odd walking beside Jared down the grocery store aisles. He was acting as if this were an everyday occurrence! Her heart raced every time he glanced at her.
In the pasta aisle, he asked, “Angel-hair pasta or linguine?”
How could that question be so sexy on a man’s lips? Their eyes locked for an interminable moment as the twins scampered around them.
Her mouth suddenly dry, she replied, “I like linguine.”
“Do you have Italian in your soul?” he drawled, his Texas upbringing obvious.
Before she could answer, Emily’s cell phone rang. She checked the caller’s name. “It’s Francesca,” she murmured.
Leaning close to her, close enough that she could breathe in the scent of his musky cologne, Jared said, “If you need privacy, we’ll keep shopping and meet you at checkout.”
Emily was so tempted to touch the beard shadow on Jared’s jaw…to straighten the collar of his shirt. But that freedom wasn’t hers. Grateful that he understood her need for privacy, she stood still as he moved down the aisle and she answered her call.
“Francesca? Is something wrong?”
“No, nothing’s wrong. Tessa and I wondered whether anything was wrong with you. I’ve hardly seen you for two days. We were beginning to worry.”
“I left you a note on the refrigerator that I’d be taking care of Dr. Madison’s twins,” she protested, feeling defensive.
“I know. But it’s not like you to be out of touch. Are you having fun?” her friend asked, less concern in her voice now.
“Actually, I am. They’re two adorable little girls. He’s done a good job raising them. He and his wife were divorced before she died, but he doesn’t seem to want to talk about it.”
“So what are you doing now?”
“We’re shopping at the grocery store. He’s going to cook for me and the girls tonight.”
“Cook for you?” Francesca hesitated a few moments, then asked, “Is something happening between you and Jared?”
“I don’t know,” Emily responded honestly. “But for now, we’re just being practical. He’s going to cook and I’ll probably end up with the cleanup.”
“You’re staying the evening?”
“Do you miss me so much?”
Francesca was quiet and Emily knew something was on her mind.
“What?” Emily asked.
“It’s about Jared…”
Emily knew Francesca was hesitating because she didn’t like gossip any more than Tessa or Emily.
Emily waited.
Finally Francesca said, “I’ve heard he has no time for anything serious…that his divorce really affected him and that the last thing he wants is to get involved with anyone long term.”
“He has his daughters to think about,” Emily replied quietly.
“Yes, he does,” Francesca agreed. “I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“I haven’t taken many risks in my life,” Emily admitted.
“And you want to now?”
“It’s too soon to tell.”
“You know you can call on me or Tessa if you need us.”
Emily did know that.
She checked on Jared’s progress. He’d just reached the checkout line. “I’d better go.”
“Have fun. But stay safe.”
Emily’s throat closed a little at her friend’s concern. “I’ll try.”
A few seconds later, Emily hunkered down beside Amy, who was reaching for candy bars. “Do you really think your dad would want you to have three?”
Jared heard Emily’s question and raised his brows at his daughter. He lifted his index finger. “One candy bar. You and Courtney can share it. Okay?”
Amy flashed him one of her best grins.
As he helped the clerk put the groceries into a bag, he asked Emily, “Did Francesca think you were abducted by aliens?”
“Not abducted. She was afraid I went willingly.”
He laughed out loud. “Thank you, Emily. I don’t know when the last time was I really laughed.”
“You laugh with the girls.”
“That’s different.” His shoulder bumped hers as they transferred bags to the cart. “I’m glad I’m getting to know you better.”
“I’m glad I’m getting to know you…and Courtney and Amy,” she added hastily.
But the intense look in his eyes and the tightening of his jaw told her there was something going on here between the two of them that had nothing to do with his daughters.
On the way out to the car, Jared carried the bags. Emily held Amy and Courtney’s hands as they crossed the parking lot. She held on firmly.
Suddenly, right in front of them, a car’s backup lights flashed, signaling the driver was backing up.
Emily swung the girls to the side out of danger.
Jared hurried to her. “I didn’t see his backup lights at first. Sometimes I’m in too much of a hurry. Thanks.”
The gratitude in Jared’s eyes drew her closer to him, to the pull that was so strong between them.
Emily was struck by the stark difference between Jared Madison and her ex-husband, Richard. Jared thought about the people around him before he thought about himself. He didn’t hesitate to say “thank you.” She could probably count on one hand the times Richard had said “thank you” during their marriage, and she wasn’t exaggerating. Richard had expected things of her. He’d expected her to act in a certain way, have sex when he wanted it and play the hostess when his work demanded it. Gratitude and appreciation never entered into it.
“What?” Jared asked in a low voice as if they were the only two people in the parking lot.
“Nothing,” she murmured, knowing this wasn’t the right time to reveal details of her marriage.
“I don’t believe that was a nothing that crossed your mind, but I’ll let it go for now.” Moving toward his sedan, he pressed the remote to open the doors.
Why did Jared Madison move her so? How would he react if she revealed everything about her past?
After today, they’d probably both go their separate ways. His cousin would be taking care of the girls until he could find a nanny or until his mother was on her feet again. Emily would be put back into her colleague slot. She realized that definitely wasn’t where she wanted to be.
An hour later, Jared asked, “What do you think?” as he offered her a taste of the sauce on a wooden spoon. He had changed into a Dallas Cowboys T-shirt and boot-cut jeans.
And she was having trouble keeping her mind on what he was cooking, rather than him.
He held the spoon while she took a taste, all the while her gaze on his. The heat she felt came from the two of them, not the electric burner.
“It’s delicious,” she managed to say, then added lightly, “You might have to give me cooking lessons.”
He gave her a wry smile. “My repertoire is limited.”
“Did your mom teach you?”
His shoulders stiffened. “No. When I was in med school, I either had to learn to cook or starve.”
“Does your mom cook along with taking care of the girls?” Emily was trying to get a sense of his life.
“Most of the time. I give her a break on weekends if I can.” He stirred the sauce thoughtfully, and after a glance at her, he went on. “I told you my marriage broke up because of the long hours and my profession. I was just wondering. What broke up yours?”
Terror struck Emily because the obvious reason her marriage ended had been the lawsuit brought against her. Yet as she took a calming breath before replying, she realized the root of her problem with Richard had been something else.
Jared’s voice turned gentle, his eyes serious. “You turned so pale. Was your husband abusive?”
She didn’t want to give Jared the wrong impression. “No, he wasn’t abusive. But he was…I think he felt entitled. When we got married, he felt entitled to certain privileges. He felt entitled to being superior over me. At first we both had our jobs and I played the trophy wife whenever it suited him. But then the—” She stopped abruptly. She’d been about to say that the lawsuit had changed everything.
“Go on,” Jared prompted.
She shook her head. “I’m making it sound as if it were all his fault. It wasn’t. I think the trouble we went through made us realize we wanted different things in life. My dad died when I was in high school and I missed him. I think I married Richard hoping to replace that hole in my life.”
“Was your husband older?”
“Just five years. But enough that when I met him, I felt like the naive one, the one who could learn from him about a world I’d never seen, about a world I didn’t know—corporate America and all that.”
Jared stirred the sauce again, then gazed at her through the wisps of steam. “I can’t imagine you as a trophy wife.”
She laughed. “Now it’s hard for me to imagine, too.”
Still, Jared wouldn’t let her escape from serious to light in the space of a moment. “This man you married must have been blind not to have seen the independent woman underneath.”
“You’re kind.”
“I’m honest.”
Yes, he was, and she felt as if she were keeping something important from him. Yet if she told him, wouldn’t everything change? She’d had enough changes lately and wasn’t going to run breakneck speed into this one. Francesca had warned her that she needed to be careful.
The dinner was delicious and the girls seemed to enjoy it, too, especially winding the pasta onto their forks. Emily showed them how to catch it with their spoons and they giggled throughout the whole process. After they finished eating, it was time for them to get ready for bed. Emily knew, as with most children, that could take a while.
She told Jared, “You cooked. I’ll clean up. That’s only fair.”
Jared’s smile showed his appreciation as he took the girls into their room.
Emily was drying the huge spaghetti pot when the twins came running out to the kitchen.
“Daddy said we could say good-night and we can give you a hug, too,” Amy added.
Settling the pot on the counter, Emily hugged each of them, warmth filling her heart. Yet she felt an aching, too. She longed to have children of her own…to be a mom.
After she kissed them both good-night on top of their heads, they ran back to their dad.
When Jared returned to the kitchen, he asked, “How about a pot of coffee? I have about a half hour before I have to leave, unless you want me to get going so you can leave sooner.”
She enjoyed his company so very much. “No. Coffee would be great.”
“My mother’s into specialty flavors. Not my thing, but it’s all we have right now. Chocolate caramel or cinnamon mocha?”
“Chocolate caramel.”
“That’s her favorite.”
“Are you worried about her?”
“Sure. But I’m optimistic, too. She’s strong and healthy. She just landed badly.”
“I’ll bet she’s scared.”
“Of the surgery, you mean? Mom’s not scared about much. She’s a tough lady. How about yours? You said your dad died when you were in high school. What about your mom?”
“I lost her before I got married—an aneurysm.”
“I’m sorry.”
She still missed her mother a lot. The memories would come in waves, making her sad but giving her fond remembrances, too. “I truly felt like an orphan after she died. Sometimes I think we need our parents as much when we’re adults as when we were kids.”
An undecipherable look passed over Jared’s face. She sensed a reserve in him about his mother, maybe even the possibility that they didn’t get along. What could be the reason? She took care of his children, so he must trust her. Did he not want to depend on her?
Apparently the subject had become too personal, because he turned away from it and away from her, snagging two mugs from a mug tree. Soon they’d carried their mugs into the great room and settled on the sofa, a few inches apart.
“So, tell me about growing up in Lubbock,” she said to make conversation.
His mouth tightened into a thin line. He set his mug on the table in front of them. “Growing up was growing up.”
“If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine.”
He ran his hand through his hair. “No. Sorry. I didn’t mean to snap. Probably growing up in Lubbock wasn’t much different from growing up in Corpus Christi. Without the beach, of course.”
“Brothers or sisters?”
Again he frowned, and she had the feeling she’d better stop asking questions or he’d clam up and not tell her anything.
But he answered her. “No brothers or sisters. But I always had good friends until I returned here to practice and got too busy to make them again.” He laid his arm along the back of the sofa, and his fingers almost touched her hair. Not almost. He was touching her hair. “I like when you wear your hair loose rather than in a ponytail or a bun.”
“Loose just doesn’t seem professional for work.”
His fingers were in the curls now, sliding through them, testing their texture. Then as if he realized what he was doing, he stopped. “I’d forgotten how nice an evening could be, doing something other than consulting on a case. You’re easy to be with, Emily.”
She didn’t know quite what to say with him sitting there so close, the scent of male cologne tempting her closer. His muscled upper arms were evident under his T-shirt. His long legs were angled slightly toward her, his booted feet reminding her he was a Texan. Easy wasn’t the word that came to her mind. They had to work together. If they took this any further—
A child’s scream rent the air.
Jared was up and off the sofa so fast he disappeared into the twins’ room before Emily was even in the hallway.
She hurried after him. Amy had awakened and was wide-eyed. Jared was at Courtney’s bedside, not attempting to wake her.
Emily sank down beside Amy on her bed.
Courtney was sweating and Emily could tell she was breathing fast. Her eyes were wide open, but she appeared not to see her dad. Jared had sat down on the bed next to her, untangled the sheet from her arms and was stroking her hair. As Courtney cried, the sound broke Emily’s heart.
Emily wasn’t sure how long she sat there watching, wishing the episode to end for Courtney’s sake, as well as Jared’s. Amy had curled up beside Emily, and she found herself murmuring to her, “She’ll be okay.”
Amy nodded, maybe knowing that more surely than Emily.
Finally, after what seemed like hours, which might have only been fifteen minutes, Courtney turned into Jared’s shoulder and her crying ceased. He kept stroking her hair comfortingly. While he still murmured consoling phrases, he tucked her in. When Courtney was sleeping peacefully once more, he kissed his daughter’s forehead.
Emily stood, made sure Amy felt cared for and tucked in, too, and met him out in the hall. “That is so scary. Not just for her, but for Amy…and you.”
“Usually Courtney doesn’t remember anything about it. I consulted with a sleep psychologist. She said not to wake her, just comfort her and help her return to sleep when she seems ready. This happens more when she’s overtired before she goes to bed.”
“Was it my fault?” She’d played with the girls in many different activities.
“No, it just happens, usually in the first few hours after she goes to sleep.”
“How long will this last?”
“I was told that most children outgrow them as they get older.”
“Seeing one in progress is much different than reading about it on the Internet.”
“I know, and I was worried about Amy seeing them. But when I tried to separate them, Amy would sneak back into the room and sleep on the floor next to Courtney’s bed. She’s protective of her sister.”
They began walking toward the great room. There Jared studied Emily. “I’m surprised you didn’t leave the room.”
“How could I? Amy needed to feel she was safe, too, and to know Courtney would be all right.”
“Sometimes I don’t feel as if I’m giving either of them enough.”
“You’re wrong about that. From what I’ve seen, you’re a great dad.”
For a few moments, he seemed to search for the truth in her eyes. He must have seen what she was really feeling.
Lifting her chin, he kissed her.
At first it seemed like a light kiss, maybe a thank-you kiss, maybe a no-one-has-said-that-in-a-while kiss. But as soon as their lips met, the sensual pleasure of kissing him again kicked up Emily’s pulse. The kiss must have done the same to him. He wrapped his arms around her and brought her tight against him. His T-shirt and her blouse were thin barriers to all the heat they were generating. So much heat, so much desire, so much pent-up longing.
When he broke the kiss, he shook his head. “I never intended for that to happen again, but the chemistry between us seems more powerful than good intentions. I’ll understand if you want to work under another doctor in the practice rather than me.”
“I don’t want to work for anyone else, Jared.”
He looked relieved for a moment. Then the creases along his eyes deepened. “You have to understand something, Emily. The last thing I want to do is get involved with anyone.”
Had his marriage been so rocky that he didn’t want to consider marrying again? Had his divorce been so painful? Had he still loved his wife but she hadn’t wanted to be married to a doctor?
Emily had her own doubts about the way she was starting to feel about Jared. Was it too soon after her divorce? Was she seeing qualities in him that weren’t really there? How could she trust her judgment after Richard?
“You have a lot on your plate,” she responded. “Your daughters, your mom, your profession. I’m trying to get my life back in order. I’ve only begun to build it again here. So we’ll deal with this—” she waved her hand “—chemistry. We’re adults. We hardly see each other in the office, except to go over patient charts.”
“So all I have to do is go back to looking at you as a colleague again.” His mouth quirked up at the corners.
“Right, and I’ll just see you as my boss.”
After a long studying appraisal, he broke eye contact and checked his watch. “I’d better get going so you can go home at a decent time.”
Crossing to the counter, he picked up his car keys. “My cell number’s on the refrigerator. Don’t hesitate to use it if something happens. Courtney doesn’t usually wake up more than once in a night.”
“I’ll just handle her like you did if she does.”
He nodded and went to the door. After a last, prolonged look at her, he left.
Emily knew they were both deluding themselves. Chemistry wasn’t easily kept under wraps.
Unless Jared wasn’t feeling the intensity she was. If that was the case, then there was nothing to worry about at all.
Midafternoon the next day, Emily was escorting a patient to the desk to make a follow-up appointment when the door to the reception area opened. Jared’s daughters came running in, followed by a striking blond woman who looked to be in her forties.
“Emily!” they cried when the twins saw her.
She stooped down to greet them. “What are you doing here?”
“See Daddy,” Amy said with certainty.
Chloie extended her hand. “You must be Emily Diaz. I’m Chloie Madison, Jared’s cousin. He asked me to bring the girls in because he might not get home until after they’re in bed tonight.”
Jared came out of his office and saw them standing in the hall. “Way past their bedtime,” he said, and crouched down to tickle them both and give them a hug.
After he straightened, he explained to Emily, “My mother’s having surgery this afternoon and I’m going over to the hospital for the rest of the day.” He took the girls’ hands and led them to his office. “You can tell me all about what you did this morning with Chloie. About fifteen minutes,” he mouthed to Chloie.
She nodded.
Then he disappeared to spend some time with his daughters.
Chloie and Emily moved to an alcove in the hall. “Am I keeping you?” Chloie asked.
“No, I had a cancellation.”
“I hear you witnessed one of Courtney’s night terrors. Scary, isn’t it?”
“Yes, it was. But Jared handled it so calmly.”
“I’ve watched him a couple of times myself, so I think I’d know what to do if she has one when I’m there. It still spooks me a bit, though.”
“I’m concerned about Amy as well as Courtney,” Emily said.
Chloie nodded. “That makes sense. She’s connected to her sister in ways we’ll never imagine. That’s the way twins are.”
“Did you and Jared grow up together?”
“Yes, we did. I was two years younger but we were friends and watched out for each other.”
“Are you friends now?” Emily knew she was prompting a bit, prying too much maybe, but she was curious about Jared’s life and his relatives.
“After Valerie died, he became a totally different person.”
“In what way?”
“He put walls up where there shouldn’t have been walls. He didn’t try to reach former friends who lived here. He said all he cared about was doing a good job and helping his girls grow up strong.”
“It’s not unusual to withdraw when you lose someone you love. Even though they were divorced, he must have still cared about his ex-wife.”
“It was the way he lost her,” Chloie said.
“The way?” Emily questioned.
“I shouldn’t say any more. You’ll have to ask Jared about it if you want to know. Secrets have hurt Jared more than once in his life. That’s why he doesn’t trust easily and why he rarely lets anyone get close.”
Rarely lets anyone get close. Emily wondered about her own secret and what effect that would have on Jared. Should she tell him now about what had happened in Corpus Christi?
She remembered their second kiss and how it had made her feel…how Jared made her feel. Yet he’d clearly told her he didn’t want to get involved.
Did she? Hadn’t Richard shown her men walked away when marriage got hard? Hadn’t he abandoned her when she’d needed him most?
If she was smart, she’d forget about getting involved with Jared at all. Finding another job wouldn’t be all that easy. She liked her life here.
Yet something about Jared tugged at her.
The question was—would she give in to the tugging?
Maybe. But she’d also keep her secret to herself.
For now.
Chapter Four
Emily entered the surgical waiting room at the hospital and spotted Jared immediately.
She watched him as he walked to the rack on the wall, took out a magazine, flipped through the pages and slid it back into its place without really looking at it. Then he crossed to the window, stared out into the dusky twilight and jammed his hands into his trouser pockets.
She went to him, watching her reflection take form next to his, not knowing how he’d feel about her being here. “Jared?”
When he turned, he looked surprised. Then he scolded her. “You should be at home having dinner.”
Maybe she should be—for more than one reason. She didn’t belong here with him. Her heart would be safer at home. She wouldn’t feel as if she should reveal anything about her life to him.
But after her last patient of the day, she’d thought about Jared sitting by himself, waiting for his mother to come out of surgery. No one should have to go through that kind of crisis alone.
“I wanted to stop in and visit Leanne and her baby.” Jared had delivered their patient’s little girl last night. “How’s your mother?”
“She’s in Recovery. I won’t be able to see her for about an hour.”
“You don’t like waiting, do you?”
His mouth curved up a bit. “I suppose that’s obvious. No, I don’t. I’m used to taking action, not sitting and waiting for another doctor to do his work.”
She glanced at the cup of coffee sitting on the table. “How many cups have you had?”
“I lost count. Maybe four. I shouldn’t have had any. I’m ready to pace the room until I wear out the soles of my shoes.”
“Do you want to take a walk? The air might help the caffeine buzz.”
Two nurses passed by the doorway as he thought about it. “Are you sure you have the time?”
“My time’s my own. Francesca’s tied up with the Neonatal Unit.”
“And you don’t like going home to an empty house.”
Was she that easy to read? “No, I don’t. The truth is—it seems empty since Tessa moved out. I mean, we all work erratic schedules, but with three of us, someone was always there. I miss her.” Emily shrugged and smiled. “But she and Vince are happy and they’re in the process of adopting two wonderful kids.”
“Didn’t you say they just married recently?”
So Jared was one of those rare men who listened. “Yes, they did. But the adoptions were sort of in the works before they married. Vince had unexpectedly become legal guardian of his best friend’s little boy, and Tessa had been on an adoption list. She got the call right before they married.”
“That’s a lot to take on.”
“Their story’s a complicated one, but they’re exactly where they want to be.”
Jared seemed pensive for a few moments. After he glanced out the window again, he decided, “I think I would like to go for that walk.”
A few minutes later, they passed through sliding glass doors outside into the August evening. A breeze tossed the edges of Emily’s collar. She and Jared turned simultaneously toward the sidewalk that led past a row of live oaks. Lampposts illuminated their way.
Suddenly Jared stopped and took her arm. “Thank you for coming by. I was getting really wound up and this is helping.”
His fingers were hot on her skin. His touch sent a deliciously warm thrill through her. She felt breathless, her pulse quickening as she looked up at him and their gazes held.
The green of his eyes darkened and he blew out a breath. “I keep telling myself we’re going to have a professional relationship and then you look at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like you’re thinking about whatever happens whenever we get too close.”
Jared meant physically, but she knew the chemistry happened when they got close emotionally, too. She and Richard hadn’t really connected emotionally. But she and Jared…
A bond was growing between them that she couldn’t deny. He released her arm. Emily missed the physical contact but she could think more clearly. They started walking again.
“I had a talk with Chloie,” she offered.
Jared sent her a sharp glance. “About?”
“Amy told her I was there when Courtney had her night terror. Chloie just said she knew how frightening they could be and that she learned from you how to handle them.”
His tone was strained as he asked, “Was she questioning why you were there?”
“Oh, no. Why would you think that?”
He walked in silence for a few steps. “I got the impression when Valerie and I divorced that Chloie thought we hadn’t tried hard enough.”
“What did you think?”
He grew pensive. “I think we hit a stone wall. I couldn’t change my practice or my dedication to my patients. Valerie was a new mom with twins and I couldn’t be there as much as she wanted me to be there to help her. I wanted her to hire someone to help, but she didn’t want to do that. She made up her mind about the divorce without much discussion. Once Valerie decided something, there was no convincing her to change her mind.”
He sounded bitter about that. Just because of the divorce? She couldn’t ask more questions without prying, and she didn’t want to do that. “Richard asked for our divorce and he’d made up his mind, too. But by that time, I knew we didn’t have much left.”
“Marriage is an ideal most couples can’t live up to.”
Darkness was gathering around them, creating intimacy even though they walked on the public sidewalk. Emily found herself adding in a lower voice, “If two people have the same values and goals and outlook, I think it can work. My parents were happily married. I thought I would be. But I think I wanted somebody to love more than I wanted to look at who I was and who Richard was and how we could fit together.”
“You’ve given this a lot of thought,” he observed.
“I didn’t like failing. I had to figure out what went wrong, why we couldn’t stick it out through…” She stopped, then finished with “the hard times.”
He looked as if he might want to question her about what those times were, but he didn’t and she was glad. This wasn’t the time or place to go into what she was hiding from him.
“Chloie told me you used to play together when you were kids, but then you were out of touch for a long time.”
“Yes, we were. We reconnected at my stepfather’s funeral. She was his brother’s daughter. We aren’t blood cousins.”
As they walked farther away from the hospital, the quiet night surrounded them. The wind picked up, whipping by them. That morning Emily had fastened her recalcitrant curls into a bun. Now the longer they walked, the more strands the breeze pulled free. She stopped for a moment to refasten a few.
Jared stopped, too, watching her. “Don’t. Just let it free.” He turned toward her just as she looked up at him.
“Damn,” he muttered but reached down anyway and fingered a loose tendril. “Your hair is so touchable.”
The compliment reached down inside her and warmed all of the cold places where Richard’s put-downs had hurt most. She hadn’t been admired for being a woman for a long time. And Jared’s words felt good, but they also warned her that chemistry between them couldn’t be stifled easily, maybe couldn’t be stifled at all.
He proved that when he slowly ran his thumb over her cheek. She could have stood there all night letting him touch her and he looked as if he wouldn’t mind doing it.
“Maybe we’d better get back,” she said softly, knowing that was the safer thing to do.
“Maybe we should,” he agreed almost reluctantly.
“I want to stop in and see Leanne and her baby,” she reminded him.
He nodded and they turned around to return the same way they’d come. This time they walked in silence, the current that Jared’s touch had created zinging back and forth between them.
What was it about this man that made her feel wild and passionate and free? How long had it been since she really felt free? Yet it was more than the sexual current between them she was attracted to. There was a gentleness about him when he dealt with his daughters. That was as sexy as his tall Texan look, his broad shoulders and his hungry kisses. Yet she could tell by his restraint when he’d ended them that he didn’t intend to get more involved with her.
Why was she so drawn toward him when her marriage had turned out badly? Didn’t she remember Richard’s concern for his own reputation rather than what she was going through? She’d felt so raw when he hadn’t comforted her. She’d felt so separate when he’d gone to cocktail parties and left her with the stress of the lawsuit. She’d felt so alone during much of her marriage. When her divorce had been finalized, she knew she’d rather be alone than risk being abandoned again.
But then she’d met Jared. He’d awakened every sensation she’d thought she’d put to sleep.
As they rose in the elevator to the maternity and nursery floor, he admitted, “Courtney and Amy miss you.”
“I miss them.” Amy’s smile, Courtney’s hug had made her feel as if her heart was expanding. Before her interaction with them, she hadn’t realized how much she wanted to be a mom.
“Any luck with the nanny search?”
“I don’t want just anyone. I want someone who can take care of the twins as if they were her own.”
Emily knew exactly what he meant. It was obvious when adults were pretending to like children and when they really liked them. She and Francesca and Tessa really liked kids. They could all spend an afternoon with Vince and Tessa’s little boy, Sean, and their little girl, Natalie, and have a roaring good time. And Emily loved stopping by the toy store to buy them gifts.
Jared led her to the nursery, first checking in with the chief nurse at the desk. They used their security cards to access the nursery. After they donned sterile gowns, masks and caps, they walked past the little cribs, some fitted with blue bedding, some with pink. Emily wanted to pause at each one of them to just stare and appreciate each miracle of life. That’s what these babies were—miracles—each and every one of them.
“Do you stop in here often?” Jared asked her as he waited for her in front of a baby girl’s crib. Leanne and her husband, John, had named their little girl Olivia. He picked up the sleeping baby and cuddled her in his long arm.
“Every time one of our patients has a baby.”
He glanced at her, held her gaze for a moment. “You want to see the pregnancy to its conclusion.”
Yes, she so much wanted to. She so much wanted to be a midwife again. That was really seeing a pregnancy to its conclusion. It was almost doing what Jared did. There was nothing in the world like it. But now she had doubts about her judgment. She had doubts about why a baby had died under her care. The Wilsons’ lawyer had looked back at previous pregnancies and pointed out another patient that Emily had, at the last minute, sent to the hospital for a cesarean. After hours of testimony, and the investigation by the licensing board, the attorney had her believing she’d missed something there. By the time Richard had doubted she was the same woman he married, she hadn’t been sure of her judgment in making any decision and taking care of anyone, let alone being the professional she’d always wanted to be.
But now, consulting with Jared during a woman’s pregnancy was almost as good. She didn’t want anything to jeopardize the happiness she’d found again in her work.
“When I listen to the heartbeat of a baby in a mom’s womb,” she responded, her voice betraying her emotions, “I can’t wait to see who that little being is going to be. Don’t you feel that way?”
His gaze passed over her, assessing what she’d asked. “I’ve never looked at it like that, but I suppose I do. I can’t wait to catch that infant in my hands, let the parents know what they’ve created together and see which parent’s features that baby has. For most couples, one of the happiest moments in their marriage is when their baby is born. I like being part of that.”
She knew exactly what he meant, but she couldn’t tell him she knew. She couldn’t tell him she had delivered babies, too. She’d come across some doctors, some obstetricians who had looked at midwives, who had looked at her, as if she belonged in a medieval time—especially the midwives who attended home births. Jared couldn’t be one of those doctors, could he?
Even if he was accepting of midwives, even though she’d been judged not guilty of any malpractice, the lawsuit had left a shadow that hung over her professional reputation. Maybe it always would.
“Do you want to hold her?” he asked, his eyes twinkling at Emily over his mask.
“I’d love to hold her,” she replied softly.
As he transferred the baby to Emily’s arms, they almost embraced. Jared’s large hand supported the baby’s head and brushed against her almost intimately as he laid Olivia in her arms. Emily went still inside as she concentrated on the precious bundle. Jared’s hand slipped away. Cuddling the newborn, Emily crooned to her, welcoming her into the world.
The infant yawned and her pink, little lips settled into a perfect bow.
“Do you want children of your own someday?” Jared asked.
“I do,” she answered truthfully, but then realized she didn’t have to bear an infant to be a mother. She’d be perfectly happy mothering Jared’s daughters.
The thought stopped her cold. She hadn’t realized she was falling for Jared so completely. She hadn’t realized how his twins had captured her heart.
She’d better not weave fantasies and dreams. He didn’t want an involvement. She shouldn’t take the risk.
Just as Emily laid Olivia back in her crib, a knot forming in her throat, Jared’s pager went off. He checked the number. “It’s my mother’s surgeon. I’m going to go outside to call.”
She watched Jared as he hurried into the anteroom, as he stripped off the protective gown and mask and cap, as he pushed the button on the sliding glass door to step outside the nursery. With a sigh, Emily looked down at Olivia and brushed her finger over the baby’s little hand.
Were dreams of wedding bells and lace with a partner who was tender and passionate and who loved with all his heart a fairy tale that could never come true for her?
At thirty-two, she was too old to believe in fairy tales.
The house that Tessa and Vince had bought to begin their married life was a fixer-upper. But along with the first coats of paint and Vince’s newly mastered skill of hanging wallpaper, the newly weds filled the house with love.
On Saturday afternoon, Emily carried a tray with dishes of chicken salad and fresh fruit onto the wraparound porch.
“Where did Vince take the kids?” Emily asked as Francesca brought a smaller tray with their drinks outside also.
Tessa had arranged napkins and silverware on three side tables beside each rocking chair.
“The new fast-food restaurant has a play gym,” Tessa explained. “He insists the kids have to have fast food at least once a month because it’s an inalienable right.”
The women laughed.
“How’s Sean’s shoulder?” Francesca asked.
“It’s coming along. We knew it would be slow. He could be three or four before he has full use of his arm again. But he’s a trooper. We do exercises with him every day.”
When Vince had lost his best friend in an automobile accident, Sean’s shoulder had been injured. Vince had brought the baby home to Sagebrush because there was a physician in Lubbock who specialized in that particular type of shoulder injury. The little boy’s surgery had been a success, but recovery would take a long time.
“When are you going back to your practice?” Emily asked her.
“Not until February, at least. And then, it will only be part-time. Actually, Rhonda can’t wait because then she’ll have care of the kids again.”
Emily knew Vince’s housekeeper, Rhonda Zappa, was a wonderful nanny. She’d taken care of Sean full-time until Vince and Tessa had married.
“What’s she doing with herself? I know someone who could use her right now.” Emily suspected Rhonda would be wonderful with Jared’s daughters.
“She’s visiting her son in Austin. She decided to stay for two months and be Grandma every day for a while, instead of just on holidays.”
“Speaking of taking care of children, tell us about Jared Madison’s daughters.” Tessa’s tone was bland, but an arched brow asked lots of questions.
“They’re wonderful. Definitely into the princess craze. Jared’s a terrific dad and—” She stopped.
Tessa eyed her shrewdly. “Is there something you’re not telling us?”
“No, not really.”
“Emily…” Tessa prompted.
Emily had confided her whole story to Tessa and Francesca earlier this summer, so there was no reason to hold anything back now.
“I like him,” she said in a rush. “I know I shouldn’t, but there’s this connection between us or something. He doesn’t want to get involved and I shouldn’t even be thinking about it. But whenever we’re alone together—”
“Fireworks?” Tessa suggested.
Emily nodded, and then realized how absolutely quiet Francesca had been. She hadn’t eaten a bite of her chicken salad. She was sipping a glass of water and staring out across the lawn as if deep in thought.
Emily laid her hand on the arm of Francesca’s chair. “Is something wrong? You’re quiet today.”
Francesca looked from Tessa to Emily and took a deep breath. “I’m pregnant.”
Emily was too surprised to speak. Francesca had been single for so long, except for one steamy June night with saddle maker Grady Fitzgerald.
“How can that be?” Tessa asked bluntly. “You said he used protection.”
“I don’t know how it happened. We did use protection. Maybe the condom broke. I missed my period. I let it pass, thinking it was just my busy life and work. I’ve never been regular. Last week, I felt a little dizzy…I haven’t been hungry, my breasts felt tender and all the symptoms came together. I used a pregnancy test and…I’m over two months pregnant.”
“Are you upset or happy?” Tessa asked.
“I think I’m still in shock. I’m a doctor, for goodness’ sake! How could this happen to me?”
Emily studied her friend’s face. “Shock or not, how do you feel about having a baby?”
Francesca’s face broke into a lovely smile. “I’m beginning to like the idea a lot. A baby to love and hold—”
“And diaper,” Tessa added with a grin.
“And diaper,” Francesca repeated. “My problem is, I don’t know what to do about Grady. We have very different lives… We want very different lives. He’s all about family. I wanted to run away from mine. He loves his work making saddles but he’s a laid-back, no-pressure kind of guy. My career is everything to me…of course with a baby, that will have to change some. But my work with newborns will still be important. It will give me and my child a life.”
“Your child?” Emily asked.
Francesca frowned. “You know I have trust issues. You know I chose badly with Darren. I chose the kind of man I ran away from. How do I know Grady is what he seems? We had one night together.”
She studied the front yard, then added, “I have to tell him, but I don’t know how and I don’t know when. And the truth is, I need time to figure out what’s best for this baby.”
“Do you think he’s the kind of man who will want a say in that?” Tessa asked.
“I have no idea. Just because he comes from a large family doesn’t mean he wants to be a dad. Maybe I don’t want him to be a dad. Maybe I’m hoping he’d rather walk away.”
Emily admired Francesca’s honesty and the way she could analyze her life.
“I never thought I’d find happily ever after, but I have with Vince,” Tessa reminded them.
“You and Vince are different,” Emily proposed. “You fell in love in high school and, although you both denied it, that love never quit.”
“We thought of our past as a burden, not something that connected us. So if Vince and I can be so happy, maybe the two of you need to take a few risks and find out if you can be happy, too.”
Take a risk. Emily almost panicked at the thought. In the past, she’d definitely opted for safe rather than sorry. But what had that gotten her? Life with a man who’d spent their money on a huge house and expensive toys that were supposed to promote his career? She’d supported his dreams and tried to make them hers. But that hadn’t worked.
Could she trust a man to stand by her no matter what? To actually believe in marriage vows? To promise a lifelong commitment?
She knew Prince Charmings were in short supply. And she was no Cinderella! Tessa and Vince might be the exception rather than the rule.
When Emily exchanged a look with Francesca, she knew Francesca believed that, too.
Chapter Five
Emily hadn’t seen Jared all day on Monday. That was a good thing, she told herself. If she didn’t see him, she couldn’t want to see him more.
Her luck ran out when she headed into the hall. There he was, coming out of his office, his cell phone at his ear. When he saw her, he ended the call and frowned.
“Is something wrong?” Maybe one of his patients went into unexpected labor. Maybe his mother had spiked an infection. Maybe his life was none of her business.
As he hesitated, she felt the urge to step closer to him. But she didn’t have to. He took a step closer to her. “That was Chloie.”
Although she felt current between them, although deep in his eyes she saw he felt it, too, she changed her focus to his twins. “Are Amy and Courtney all right?”
“Oh, they’re fine. Except…they insist they want to see their grandmother.”
“Does that surprise you?”
He slipped his phone into the holster on his belt. “No. I was just hoping I could sidetrack them, at least until she got to the rehab facility. But they know she’s in the hospital and they want to see her. I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
Emily thought about it. “You said they saw her fall.”
“That’s right. And they saw the ambulance come and take her away.”
She tried to put herself in the twins’ place. “They want to be reassured she’s coming home again.”
“I have been reassuring them of that, but I don’t think they believe me.”
Emily studied Jared. Already she suspected he was the type of man who liked to control his world. Once in a while, however, he had to settle for plan B. “What would be so terrible about taking them to the hospital for a short visit? They’re well-behaved.”
The lines around his eyes cut deeper with concern as he shook his head. “I don’t want them to see anything that will scare them. Hospitals aren’t always the kindest places. There are unusual machines, IVs…”
“I think you have to decide whether the benefits would outweigh everything else. What they conjure up in their thoughts could be worse than what they might actually see.”
Now his green eyes assessed her, considering her suggestion. “You mean if they’re excited about seeing their grandmother, they won’t notice anything else?”
She smiled. “I’m not that naive. Did you ever think about buying them one of those hospital play sets and explaining equipment they might see before they go?”
“I knew there was a reason I hired you,” he said with a teasing smile that sent her heart into an upbeat rhythm.
“The reason you hired me was to shift some of your patient load,” she teased back, feigning offense.
“And that’s worked very well,” he said seriously. “Our mothers-to-be trust you. You’ve really added a lot to this practice.”
The way he was looking at her with respect for her professional talent meant so much. “Thank you,” she murmured, wanting him to know her whole story, yet still afraid to confide in him.
After they stood there gazing at each other for a few heartbeats, Emily felt that tempting tension rise between them again.
“Why don’t you come with me to the toy store?” he suggested. “You can help me pick out the most appropriate play set.”
She shouldn’t. She absolutely knew she shouldn’t. What about taking a few risks? her inner voice asked while Francesca’s admonition to be careful played, too.
Jared took her silence as reluctance. His expression became serious. “You probably have other plans. The girls and I have taken up more than enough of your time.”
“No, that’s not true! I don’t have any other plans. In fact, I had a message from Francesca that she’d be tied up at the hospital again tonight. So I’d like to help you pick out a play set.” Maybe her concept of her world had to change. Maybe she had to take a step forward to move forward!
“Don’t feel you have to come, Emily. I don’t want you to feel any pressure.”
“I don’t feel pressured, Jared. I’d tell you if I did. The problem is, I like being with you.”
“You like being with me?” His voice held surprise.
“Yes. You’re a good listener. You’re easy to talk to. And we seem to understand each other. All qualities I like in a friend.” If she kept this light, maybe being with Jared wouldn’t be a mistake. She knew she was falling for him, but if they could be friends, maybe the fall wouldn’t hurt her.
“Friends, huh?”
She nodded as if that’s all she expected or wanted. Being honest with herself, she knew she wanted a lot more.
They’d been standing about a foot apart and now he moved closer. “I don’t think we’re going to be friends like Chloie and I are friends.”
“Probably not,” she admitted. “Every friendship is different.”
“What do you expect from your friends?” he asked, his voice husky.
What she wanted was to step into his arms. What she wanted was to feel his lips on hers again. And ultimately what she wanted was way more than he’d said he was willing to give.
What did she expect from friendship? “That depends on the level of friendship. It’s come to mean something different since I moved here and met Tessa and Francesca. I guess loyalty is the main quality I expect.”
The silence in the offices wrapped around them. The other doctors as well as the office staff had gone. No one was around but the two of them. If he reached for her, she wouldn’t pull away. He looked as if he wanted to. He looked as if he liked what she expected of friendship.
But Jared was the type of man who thought about professional reputation and ethics and time and place.
Breaking eye contact and the sensual haze that always seemed to surround them when they were together, he reached into his pocket for his keys. “Would you like to ride with me to the toy store?”
Emily considered sitting next to him in his sedan, aware of him in the confined space. “I’ll follow you.”
Fifteen minutes later, Emily walked beside Jared through the rows of the toy store. She felt as if she were on a date, though she knew she wasn’t. He’d tugged off his tie and opened the top button of his shirt. She could see a hint of his dark-brown chest hair. He was at least six feet tall and she felt almost fragile beside him. Every now and then, she caught the trace of a male fragrance that lingered at the end of the day. His thick hair curled slightly over his collar in the back and her fingers tingled to touch it. He glanced at her now and then. When their eyes met—
What was brewing between them was powerful chemistry neither of them could deny. Yet they were both trying to.
As they traversed the sports section, he stopped in front of the soccer balls. “I’m thinking about getting them one of these for Christmas.”
“You’re going to be a soccer dad?”
He shrugged. “I could take them to their games on Saturdays when I’m not on call.”
He appeared nonchalant but she could hear his voice strain when he realized that he couldn’t be with his daughters whenever they needed him.
After the sports aisle, they turned the corner into littlegirl land. Emily pointed to a princess Barbie. “Now, that’s a Christmas present.”
Jared laughed. “I can see how being a dad colors what I buy for them. I might have to consult you as a personal shopper for Christmas.”
She stopped at a miniature tea set with pictures of Cinderella on the pot and dishes and lifted it from the shelf. “Do you mind if I buy this for them?”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I want to. I think they’d have fun with it. Tea parties are great for the imagination.”
“I’m sure they’d like to have tea with you.”
From his smile and the sincerity in his voice, she could see he meant that. From the glimmers of desire in his eyes, she could also see that he found her attractive, and that was such a balm to her ego. “I was thinking of them having tea with you, along with their teddy bears and Barbie dolls.”
“Now, that’s a picture,” he admitted with a chuckle.
They found the hospital play set easily in the dollhouse section. Jared examined it, nodding as he did. “This is a good idea, Emily. I’m glad you suggested it.”
Emily’s cell phone began playing a lilting tune. She retrieved it from the outside pocket of her purse.
Jared took the tea set from her so she wouldn’t have to juggle it. When she checked the caller ID, she froze.
He studied the expression on her face and asked, “Emily?”
“It’s my ex-husband. I’d better take this.” Richard never called her. Since the divorce, they hadn’t had much communication, although there were still a few loose ends to tie up. She sent him a check every month. If he was calling, there would be a reason. And he wouldn’t stop calling until he got her. She knew her ex that well.
“Excuse me,” she said to Jared as she walked to the end of the aisle where she had better reception and some privacy.
After she answered, her ex-husband asked, “How are you doing, Em?”
She didn’t like the nickname, never had really. He hadn’t taken her seriously when she’d told him that. “I’m okay, but this isn’t a good time. Can I give you a call back later tonight?”
“You’re still at work?”
“No, I’m not.”
“On a date?”
Ever since their divorce, he hadn’t cared. Why would he now? “No, Richard. I’m shopping.”
“Well, it’s good to know you have enough money to do that. Low expenses in Sagebrush.”
“I’m getting by. I’m sharing a house and that helps.” She didn’t even know why she told him that except she wanted him to realize she didn’t have a lot left over at the end of the month. “So, why are you calling?”
“I need your signature on something.”
“What?” All of their belongings except two had been divided up.
“I want to sell the painting that’s hanging over the sofa, but your name’s on the provenance, too.”
The only property that hadn’t been completely settled was the painting and the boat, a thirty-six-foot sailing vessel that Richard used to impress clients. She wondered why he needed money, though. His salary had always covered their bills comfortably. They’d used her salary for her personal expenses and extras—parties, dinners out, half of the down payment on the boat.
“How do you want to handle selling the painting?” she asked, still mourning the loss of the relationship she’d begun with stars in her eyes, intending it to last forever.
“Do you have a fax?”
She didn’t, but Francesca did. “I can give you my roommate’s fax number.” She rattled it off.
“That’s great. I’ll fax the form over right away. Sign it and send it back to me by registered mail, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Thanks, Em.”
“No problem.”
The awkward silence vibrating on the line came from two people who didn’t know each other anymore, who maybe had never really known each other. “Take care,” he said as if he wanted to say more but didn’t know how.
“You, too.”
After she closed her phone, Jared approached her. “Is everything okay?”
“Fine. My ex needs my signature. We bought this painting together for the living room…” She stopped, a lump forming in her throat.
“Everything has a memory attached, doesn’t it?” Jared asked as if he knew.
She nodded, tucking her phone into its purse pocket, not meeting his gaze.
He set down everything he was holding onto the floor, then straightened, came very close and lifted her chin. “I was divorced, too, so I understand that even though a marriage is over, there are still remnants left of what it once meant.”
She wanted to tell him everything—about how Richard had turned away from her during the court proceedings, about how his lack of support had left her feeling so alone. But there would be so much to explain…so much Jared might not understand.
“Do you still love him?”
The answer seemed to be important to Jared. Why was he asking? Because he wanted her to be free of entanglements? To be free of her past? She didn’t know if she’d ever be free of that.
“The part of me that once loved him remembers what that was like. I wish him well. But no, I’m not still in love with him.”
Jared searched her face, perhaps not knowing if he could believe her words. Why would he doubt what she said? Unless someone had lied to him before?
The intensity of the moment passed as his hand slid from her chin. He picked up the play set and the tea set he’d set on the floor. “I think you should come over and show the girls all the aspects of the hospital that they might see. Explanations wouldn’t be too scary coming from you. I might be too clinical. What do you think?”
Her voice was soft with gratitude when she answered, “I think you’re trying to distract me from the call. Thank you. I’d love seeing your daughters again.”
“All right. Then maybe after you show them around the toy hospital, you can teach me the finer points of having a tea party.”
His dry voice made her smile. He would do anything for his daughters. With sudden realization, she knew she’d do anything for him.
Yet once before she’d placed a man’s concerns before hers. Once before she’d let Richard’s ambition and desires supersede hers. And when she’d needed him—
When she was with Jared, she had to remember her failed marriage. Otherwise he could break her heart and she wouldn’t be able to patch it up again.
Jared could have kicked himself for inviting Emily along home with him. Yet she had been good for his girls. And she’d looked so sad after her phone call.
Still, what about what was good for him?
For the past two years, he really hadn’t thought about himself. Amy and Courtney had needed him day and night. His career demanded his time day and night.
He’d been lonely after his divorce. And after Valerie died…
He’d been confused and in turmoil because she hadn’t confided in him. What kind of man was he that she couldn’t tell him the truth about her illness?
Since then he’d denied physical needs and fallen into bed exhausted every night. Work and spending time with the twins was like a numbing drug. He worked more and tried to meet their every need so he didn’t have to think about a life he didn’t have.
Yet why would he want a woman in his life again? Why would he want to complicate it? Why take the chance on a relationship that might not work out? He’d be putting Amy and Courtney at risk, too.
Still, as he stood in the kitchen supposedly pouring milk for Courtney and Amy while surreptitiously watching them with Emily, he knew life demanded more of him than work and child care.
Would sex be a start? Would an affair lead him to a life again?
The wind whistled against the house as he listened in on Emily’s conversation. She was on the floor with the twins in the great room.
Courtney asked her, “Are there people in every room?”
“Yes, there are.”
Jared watched Emily settle one of the dolls into the tiny bed.
She asked Amy, “Would you like to turn on the TV for this patient?”
Amy solemnly nodded.
Courtney pushed the miniature wheelchair into the patient’s room. “The lady in the other bed needs this.”
“Would you like to give her a name?”
Courtney thought about that. “Mrs…” She looked around the room and her eyes fell on a vase with silk flowers. “Mrs. Flower.”
“I like that name,” Emily encouraged her. Then she picked up another doll dressed in a white uniform. “The nurse is coming in to give her medicine.”
“Here’s the doctor,” Amy said proudly, picking up the next play figure. “Just like Daddy.”
Jared had to smile. Hopefully Amy and Courtney could visit his mom without too many fears, without being scared by what they saw. Emily was so good with his daughters. And when he kissed her, he felt arousal that he hadn’t experienced since his days at Texas Tech.
He took the glasses to the table along with cups of pudding, but he didn’t call them yet. Rather he went over to the sofa where they were playing by the coffee table with Emily.
“What do you think of the hospital?” he asked them.
He could feel Emily’s gaze on him and to his surprise, he liked the idea of her looking at him. There was respect in her eyes, maybe even admiration. Something else, too. That something else that made him want to kiss her whenever their eyes met.
“The hospital is big,” Courtney decided.
In reality, it wasn’t that big, only four floors, but to his daughters, the building would seem immense.
“You don’t have to worry about getting lost or anything like that. When we go see Grandma, you can hold on to me,” he assured her.
“And Emily.”
He hadn’t thought about Emily visiting his mother.
“Oh, I don’t think I’ll be going,” Emily said, glancing at him, making sure she didn’t overstep their working relationship or their friendship.
Friendship. Had he ever been friends with a woman?
Courtney ran to him, wrapped her little arms around him and looked up at him with big green eyes. “Daddy? Can Emily come, too?”
How could anyone say no to this beautiful child who had formed a bond with this woman who was caring enough to be a mother? Courtney liked Chloie, but she never responded to his cousin the way she responded to Emily. Neither did Amy.
Emily’s cheeks were flushed as if she were embarrassed and didn’t know what to say or do.
Stooping down, he lifted Courtney into his arms. “Can you tell me why you want Emily to come along? I’m sure she has a very busy schedule, so it has to be an important reason.”
Courtney bit her lower lip as she thought about what he’d asked. “I won’t be scared.”
Jared had the feeling that sometimes when his daughters were with him, they thought he’d be called away and they’d be left alone. He didn’t know how to counteract that. Apparently they felt more solid with Emily. That was a shocker.
“Why don’t you two have your milk and play and I’ll talk to Emily about it? Okay?”
Courtney nodded again, leaned toward him to give him a kiss on his cheek. Every one of those kisses was precious.
He carried her over to the table and settled her in one of the chairs, lifting the lid from her pudding. Amy ran over and he did the same for her. He left them jabbering about the hospital and patients.
Emily had risen from the floor. Tendrils of curls had come loose from her ponytail and wisped around her face. Her color was still a little high. He couldn’t seem to get enough of looking at her face, her sweetly curved lips, her long eyelashes that fringed her dark brown eyes and emphasized them.
“I don’t have to go along. I certainly don’t want to intrude on your time with your mother.”
His time with his mother was always strained. With the girls around, less so. Truth be told, he wondered what his mother would think of Emily, and vice versa.
“The girls seem to find a certain level of comfort and safety when you’re with them. I wouldn’t want to take that away from them in a strange setting. Are you busy tomorrow evening?”
“No, I’m not busy,” she admitted, realizing she didn’t have a social life outside of her friendships with Francesca and Tessa. “But are you sure you want me involved? Would your mom want a stranger around?”
“I don’t know what my mother will or won’t want. I do know I’ll keep the visit short. I don’t want to overtire her, and the girls can be a handful when they get excited and start asking questions. That’s where I think you’d be a big help. You have a calming effect on them.”
“If I can help, I’d be glad to come along. But if for some reason your mother doesn’t want any other visitors, I can wait out in the hall, or visit the nursery again.”
He remembered too well the day he’d transferred Leanne Martin’s baby to Emily’s arms. She would make a wonderful mother. He could imagine her pregnant, getting larger with child each month.
Oh, no, he wasn’t going there. He might be considering a night of hot sex, but a minister and wedding bells weren’t on his agenda. He’d done that once. He’d been a lousy husband and back then, not a very good father. He’d been building his practice, and he’d left the needs of his infants to Valerie.
If he had it all to do over again, what would he change?
He didn’t know. Valerie’s distaste of his being called away had always caused problems between them. But those problems had turned into resentment on both their sides, and that colored everything they had done and said.
He could have done it differently. He should have been more understanding.
Valerie had received her diagnosis and decided she knew best—that he and the twins shouldn’t be with her in her last days. If he’d been a better husband…if he’d been more understanding…then maybe she would have trusted him to be with her through it all. Even at the end.
“Jared.” Emily looked concerned as if she’d asked him a question and he hadn’t heard her.
“Do you want to go to the hospital as soon as we’re finished for the day?”
“That would probably be best.”
She studied him more closely. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. I was just considering what type of father I would be if I were in a different profession.”
“Do you really think changing your career would make you a different kind of dad?”
She had a point there. “I’d have more time to give them.”
She looked as if she wanted to say something, but was hesitating to say it.
“Tell me what you’re thinking.” The one truth he’d learned in his life was that honesty avoided much heartbreak.
“I’m thinking that even if we had all the time in the world, we wouldn’t have enough time. It’s more important that you don’t waste a minute of the time you have with them. If you’re really present to them, if you care about what they’re doing, that’s what matters.”
Jared suddenly realized that that was the reason his daughters liked being with Emily. When she was with them, she was with them. Nothing interfered with her concentration on them, and they felt special because of it.
He moved closer to her, thinking about the call she’d received from her ex-husband. The few things she’d told him had led him to believe her ex hadn’t appreciated her at all. He glanced over at his twins and saw they were still occupied with the pudding and each other.
Letting his hand rest lightly on Emily’s shoulder, he asked her, “Why didn’t you have babies when you were married?”
She looked away and then back at him. “I wanted them. Richard wanted to wait until we were financially secure.”
“And that day never came,” he guessed.
“No, it didn’t.” She didn’t elaborate, though he wished she would. Maybe in time.
Had he decided to spend more time with her for reasons other than his daughters?
Since Emily didn’t elaborate about her marriage, he asked anyway, “What finally broke the two of you up? Usually there’s that straw that breaks the camel’s back.”
For a moment, Emily looked absolutely trapped. Her face drained of some of its color. What could have been so horrible that she’d have this reaction?
“Emily?” He slid his hand under her hair and stroked her neck.
“There wasn’t just one thing,” she finally said. “He asked for a divorce and I knew…I knew we didn’t have anything left.”
What she was telling him could be true. But he suspected there was more. He could see it in the turmoil in her big brown eyes. Was Emily keeping secrets from him, too? And if she was, what was he going to do about it?
He heard the scrape of a chair on the wooden floor and the pitter-patter of Amy’s sneakers as she ran over to him. She never seemed to walk anywhere.
“Can Emily read us a story before we go to bed?”
He stepped away from Emily, closer to his daughter. What did he really know about Emily Diaz? He knew what she’d given him in her résumé. He knew what her references had told him. Yes, she was a kind, compassionate woman who could relate to kids. And from his reaction to her, she turned him on in a way a woman hadn’t in a very long time.
But did he know the essence of her? Did he know what made her tick? He suddenly wondered why she’d had to travel across the state to start a new life here…so far away from her husband.
The prize-winning question was—did he want the answers to all of his questions, or did he want to just concentrate on his daughters and his profession without muddying up his life with an affair?
“I think we’ve taken up enough of Emily’s time. She has a roommate who hasn’t seen much of her lately, and I’m sure she has things to do at home, too. Did you finish your milk?”
Amy nodded.
“Great. As soon as Courtney’s finished, you can try to put your pajamas on all by yourselves.”
Then he turned back to Emily and gestured to the play set on the floor. “Thank you for taking the time to find that with me and to play with them.” His voice was more formal than he wanted it, but he had to draw a line in the sand.
He saw a flicker of hurt in Emily’s eyes. He hated that. But he had to consider what he was doing very carefully. He had to make sure he made the right decisions this time for both his daughters…and himself.
Emily’s shoulders squared a little as she told Amy, “Your dad’s right. I have to be going. But I’ll see you tomorrow evening.”
Her purse was lying on the end table beside the sofa. She picked it up quickly and threw the strap over her shoulder. Then she stepped around the play set, crouched down before Amy and gave her a hug. Afterward, she headed for Courtney and did the same.
Jared walked Emily to the door. But he didn’t touch her, and he definitely didn’t kiss her good-night.
Emily had questions in her eyes as she said good-night and left.
But he didn’t have any answers.
Chapter Six
Emily felt like an outsider the following evening as she walked beside Jared to his mother’s hospital room. Courtney clutched Stardust under one arm as she held her father’s hand. Amy had a grip on Emily’s. She was sure his daughters wanted her here, but she wasn’t sure at all that he did. She took a firmer grasp on the two bouquets of flowers she carried for the twins.
Outside the door, Jared leaned close, his breath warm on her ear as he assured her, “We don’t have to stay long. In fact it would probably be better for my mother if we don’t. I don’t want the girls to tire her out.”
The solemn expression on Jared’s face, as well as his rigid bearing, told Emily the girls might not be the only reason he didn’t want to stay long.
Emily handed a bouquet to Courtney and one to Amy.
Courtney held Emily’s hand a little tighter as they neared the bed.
Gloria Madison pressed the control that raised her head so she was in a sitting position. She was a beautiful older woman with thick steel-gray hair that lay in soft curls around her face. Her eyes were green like Jared’s and she was smiling at her granddaughters. “Come here, darlings. I’ve missed you.”
“We brought these for you,” Courtney said, giving her grandmother the flowers in her hand. Amy did the same.
Gloria bent and smelled them—carnations, daisies and roses. “How pretty! Thank you so much for bringing them. They’ll brighten up my room.” Her gaze went to her son. “I see you brought a reinforcement. Are you going to introduce us?”
“This is Emily Diaz. She works at the practice with me and has been helping with the twins. They wanted her to come along. Emily, my mother, Gloria Madison.”
Emily went over to the bed and extended her hand. “It’s so nice to meet you. The twins have been worried about you. They needed to see you were recovering.”
“Did you convince my son to let them come?”
“It was his decision.” Emily spotted an empty vase sitting on the windowsill. “Why don’t I put some water in this and arrange the flowers for you?”
Jared removed folded pieces of paper from his shirt pocket. He gave them to Courtney and Amy. “They drew pictures for you, too.”
Both Amy and Courtney opened up the folded pieces of paper, explaining to their grandmother what they had drawn. Their childish chatter filling the room brought a huge smile to Gloria’s face.
While she chatted with her granddaughters, Emily slipped into the bathroom and filled the vase with water. She was arranging the flowers when Jared stepped inside.
Instead of turning around, she sought his gaze in the mirror. He was standing behind her, tall and broad-shouldered, in a striped oxford shirt and casual slacks. She remembered his last kiss and being held in his arms. She wanted him to touch her and he looked as if he’d like to. But he kept a foot between them.
When she turned around to face him, that foot of separation disappeared. She just waited, their attraction for each other thrumming between them.
“Will you be all right here for a few minutes?” he asked. “I’d like to check on a patient.”
“Sure. I’ll be fine.”
Cocking his head, he asked, “Are you always fine?”
“I try to be. I believe if I act as if I’ve got a handle on everything, then maybe I will.”
“You’re an optimist.”
“You’re just learning that?” she joked.
“Yes, I am.” His silence said he was learning other things, too.
There was a glint in his eye, a spark of desire, the recognition that their attraction wasn’t going to go away because they wanted it to. She found herself responding to it. Her heart was pounding and a butterfly did a flip in her stomach.
Finally Jared said huskily, “I won’t be long.” Then he left the bathroom, explained to his mother where he was going and strode down the hall.
Although she didn’t know why, Emily felt shaken by their exchange. They were coming closer and closer to something inevitable. What? Confronting their attraction? Doing more with it? Yet Jared didn’t want involvement.
She shouldn’t get involved with a man who had walls around his heart. She was asking for heartache if she did.
Running the cold water, she took a paper towel and held it to her cheeks. Then she picked up the vase with the flowers and returned to Gloria. The older woman eyed her thoughtfully as Emily set the flowers on the windowsill.
Amy and Courtney had settled into a chair together with a magazine on their laps. It was one of those country magazines with pictures of farms and children and animals. They chatted to each other about them and then showed them to their grandmother. Once they were intrigued again by a picture of a huge dog in the magazine, Gloria laid her head against the pillow. “Jared doesn’t trust many people with his daughters. He must think highly of you.”
“I work with Jared as an obstetrical nurse practitioner. I hope he respects the work I do and knows what kind of person I am.”
“Oh, I think he knows.”
Emily’s attention went from the girls, who were studying a wagon filled with pumpkins, to Jared’s mother.
Emily didn’t say anything, though. If Jared’s mom had something she wanted to tell her, Emily would give her the opportunity.
“I think he’s interested in you, and you like him,” Gloria suggested.
What should she say? What could she say? After all, Jared’s daughters were right there. Children had great hearing and long memories.
Something about his mother’s intent green gaze made honesty essential between them. “We don’t really know each other very well. In fact—” She stopped, realizing she was about to say too much.
“In fact?” Gloria urged her on. “There’s a lot about me that Jared doesn’t know, just as I’m sure there’s a lot I don’t know about him.”
“Time could take care of that,” his mother assured her.
“Possibly.”
Gloria appraised her for a few more moments. “My son has walled himself off to everyone but his daughters until now. When he looks at you, I see a change in him that wasn’t there before.”
Emily couldn’t help but ask, “What kind of change?”
“Curiosity, appreciation, possibility. A small crack where a little bit of light is glimmering through. He needs a personal life. He hasn’t had one since his marriage.”
“I don’t think he wants one,” Emily admitted.
“You could be right. On the other hand, the crackle I see between the two of you might be bigger than both of you.”
Crackle. Sizzle. Sexual chemistry. Even if they had that, did Emily want an affair? She’d never had affairs. She’d had one serious relationship—with Richard.
She had so much baggage. Sending a check to Richard every month was a responsibility she took seriously. It would take her years to cover the money he’d siphoned from his pension. What man would want to take that on? Not to mention the way Jared might feel when he knew the circumstances behind her legal bills.
“How old are you?” Gloria asked.
“I’m thirty-two.”
“Have you ever been married?”
“Yes, I’m divorced.” She expected to see judgment in Gloria’s eyes, maybe disapproval. To her surprise, she didn’t see either.
“And Jared is forty-three, also divorced. I imagine you both have history that needs to be put to rest.”
“Sometimes history can’t be put to rest.” Not when it was ongoing, Emily thought…not when she felt as if she had to hide it.
“Would you do something for me, Emily?”
“What?”
“If you have feelings for Jared, don’t give up on him if he seems to push you away.”
Courtney suddenly scrambled off the chair and placed the magazine into her grandmother’s lap. “See the horse? I want to ride a horse.”
“Me, too,” chimed in Amy.
Emily was glad for the interruption.
While the girls chatted with their grandmother again, she had time to think about their conversation. The last thing she’d expected to find in west Texas was romance. Yet Jared was the type of man she’d always dreamed of meeting someday. He was sexy and caring and a wonderful dad.
There were so many things he didn’t know about her.
When Jared returned to the room a short time later, Emily was sitting in the chair with Courtney on her lap. Amy was standing at her grandmother’s bed, singing a song she’d learned in preschool.
Emily noticed Jared stop in the doorway, taking in the scene. His gaze was gentle as it rested on his daughters. But when it settled on his mother, he frowned and a distant look came into his eyes. Emily had noticed that same distance in his tone when he mentioned his mom, and couldn’t help but wonder what had caused it. Gloria Madison seemed to be a kindly, friendly woman. What had transpired between mother and son to cause resentment? Was that what Jared felt toward his mother?
Crossing to Gloria’s bed, he said, “I think two little girls are more than ready for bed.”
“We’re not sleepy, Daddy,” Courtney told him, and then yawned.
He laughed. “Even if you’re not sleepy, Grandma needs her rest, too.”
“It was so good to see you.” Gloria gave both Amy and Courtney hugs. To Emily she said, “I’ll be going to a rehab facility tomorrow, but I’d love to see you again.”
“I enjoyed talking to you. I’ll visit you if I can.” The truth was, Emily had missed her mother ever since she’d lost her. And Gloria with her kindness and honest observations was someone Emily would like in her life.
Ten minutes later, Emily sat in Jared’s sedan beside him as he pulled into the driveway at his home. Courtney had fallen asleep in her car seat and Amy was almost there.
“I can help you get the girls to bed,” she offered, not ready to leave him yet, feeling more and more drawn to Amy and Courtney.
“When I bring them home alone and they fall asleep, I have to wake them up. I don’t like to leave one of them in the car while I take the other inside.”
“I can understand that.”
“On the other hand, I don’t want you to feel obliged that you have to do anything.”
“I don’t feel obliged. When we’re not at work, Jared, you’re not my boss. We’re just two people. If you’re afraid you’re taking advantage of me, you’re not. I want to be here.”
She felt him studying her in the darkness.
“All right. Let’s take them inside.”
As Emily carried Amy and Jared carried Courtney, she felt a closeness to him. They didn’t seem to need words to establish understanding. It was almost as if words would muddle up the connection they had. Yet Emily knew the time was coming when she’d have to tell him everything about her. That idea scared her.
Emily helped Jared change the girls into their nightclothes, feeling motherly. She liked the feeling. After she pulled Amy’s sheet up to her chin, she kissed her on the forehead. It just seemed the natural and right thing to do. Jared did the same with Courtney. Both girls curled on their sides, Courtney with Stardust, Amy with a favorite teddy bear.
Emily and Jared walked down the hall into the great room. There she said, “I’d better go. We both have early days tomorrow.”
Jared approached her and rested his hands on her shoulders. “You’ve been a great help ever since my mom’s accident.”
“You didn’t want me to go along tonight, though, did you?”
“You made the visit easier for Amy and Courtney. But, no, I guess I didn’t want you to get more involved in my life.”
Her expression must have shown the hurt she felt at his words.
He grimaced. “That didn’t come out right.”
“I think it did.”
“Emily, damn it all,” he swore. “Every time I’m near you, I want to kiss you. In the hospital bathroom I wanted to tug you into my arms. Damn it,” he said again, his arms enfolding her. “I’ve wanted to do this all night.” He bent his head to hers and kissed her.
Their lips melded together. His tongue invaded her mouth. He was hungry, demanding, possessive. This time, he didn’t restrain his need and she responded to it, seeking the strokes of his tongue, kissing him back for all she was worth.
He backed her up to the sofa and they fell onto it, holding on to each other, breaking the kiss and coming back for more.
Emily liked everything about being with Jared. She loved touching him. She loved the feel of her fingers laced in his thick hair. She loved exploring the taut skin at his neck.
Jared groaned and slid his hands under her top. When his thumbs found her nipples and teased them through her bra, she thought she’d explode. She was lost in what they were when they were together like this. But he must have been aware of reality all along…because he let his hands drop away and slip out from under her top.
Moments later he tore his lips from hers and muttered, “We’ve got to stop.”
“Why?” She couldn’t believe she asked it, but she needed to know.
He looked sad as he stroked her face and pushed wayward curls from her forehead. “Because we don’t want to make a mess of each other’s lives.”
She opened her eyes and stared into his. “Why are you so sure that would happen?”
“I just am.”
“No, I don’t think you’re sure. You just don’t want to open yourself up to the possibility. You’ve been hurt and you don’t want to take the chance that will happen again. I’ve been hurt, too, Jared. And yes, the possibility of getting hurt again scares me. But I feel a connection to you.”
“A connection…or an attraction?” he asked bluntly.
“Both. Don’t you feel both?”
“Right now, I only know what my body’s telling me. You’re a sexy woman and I haven’t touched a woman since my marriage ended. That’s a pretty powerful driving force. I’m not going to let it drive me to do something we’ll both regret.”
She pushed herself up from the sofa. “Don’t think for me, Jared, and don’t make decisions for me. If you want to back off for your own reasons, that’s fine. But don’t make the mistake of thinking you know what’s going on in my head.” Or in my heart, she added to herself.
He stood now, too, but she didn’t want to see the look in his eyes that told her he thought this was all about sex.
She grabbed her purse from the coffee table where she’d dropped it and headed for the door.
“Emily…”
“I’ll see you at work tomorrow, Jared. At least there, we know exactly how to treat each other. We know exactly what we have to do.”
She left Jared’s house, his mother’s words echoing in her head. Don’t give up on him if he seems to push you away.
To do that, she’d have to be more vulnerable than she’d ever been before. She wasn’t sure being that vulnerable was a risk she wanted to take.
“I’m going to tell Grady I’m pregnant tonight,” Francesca said the next evening. Emily had just walked in the door as her friend was getting ready to go out.
“Where are you meeting him?” Emily asked, assessing Francesca’s western-cut tan pantsuit. Her long, straight brown hair curved over her shoulder. She looked fabulous.
“At the saddle shop.”
“Alone?”
“Hopefully. This isn’t the kind of news I’d want to give him in public. The only thing is—”
“Are you afraid something else will happen?” Emily guessed, and when her friend’s cheeks turned red, she knew she’d guessed correctly.
“I don’t want a relationship, Emily. I’m not ready for one. And things would never work out between us. We’re much too different.”
Emily wondered how many times her friend had told herself that and if she was using it as an excuse. Francesca was just downright afraid to get involved with a man again.
Francesca checked her watch. “I should be going, but tell me how things went with you and Jared today. You were upset when you came home last night.”
“He was at the hospital most of the day. I didn’t see him. Maybe that’s good.”
“Is it?”
“I don’t know. When did life get so complicated?”
Francesca shook her head. “When chemistry turned into more than a science experiment. See you later.”
Emily had to smile at her friend’s assessment of the situation. She took off her jacket and was about to hang it in the closet when the telephone rang. Crossing to the cordless phone beside the sofa, she picked up the handset and checked the caller ID. It was Jared.
“Hello,” she said, not knowing what to expect.
“Emily, it’s Jared.”
“I know.”
“What would we do without caller ID?” he teased lightly. “At least you picked up. That’s a good sign.”
“A good sign for what?”
The silence on his end almost made her wish she hadn’t asked. Then he replied, “I’ve been thinking about last night. I couldn’t get it off my mind all day.”
She waited.
“You were right. There is a connection between us and I’m not sure it’s one I want.”
“That’s why you called?”
She heard him blow out a breath. “I’m not doing this very well. Just let me say I’m not calling because I need help with the girls.”
“I don’t mind helping you, Jared.”
“I know. But now I’d like to do something that doesn’t involve them.”
Was he going to ask her on a date? “Like what?”
“There’s a charity banquet and dance at the Rayburn Hotel on Saturday evening.”
“Yes, I know. I was planning to go with friends.”
“How would you like to go with me instead?”
Actually, she’d been planning to tag along with Vince and Tessa.
“Would your friends mind if you changed your plans?” he cut in before she could think it through.
“No, I don’t suppose they would. I’d been planning to sit with Tessa Rossi and her husband, Vince. Maybe the four of us could share a table, unless you had something else in mind.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“If you’d rather sit with Dr. Pratt or Dr. Layman…” Those were the two men who shared Jared’s practice.
“Larry Pratt isn’t going, and Tom is sitting with the hospital board. The thing is, Emily, I’m not asking you because this is a hospital function.”
“Why are you asking me?” she inquired softly, not wanting to put him on the spot but needing to know.
“I’d like to spend some time with you alone, away from my daughters, away from the practice. I realized—” He stopped. “I realized what I said last night might have hurt you, and I never meant to do that. Although it’s no excuse, I haven’t had a personal life for a long time.”
“So this is a date?”
“Yes, it’s a date. Are you accepting?”
“I’m accepting.”
“Good.”
She thought she could hear a smile in his voice. Thank goodness she had the rest of the week to think about what to wear. She might have to go shopping!
“That’s settled, then. Dinner starts at eight. I’ll pick you up around seven fifteen. Is that okay?”
“That’s fine.”
“I’m glad you’re going with me, Emily. I really mean that.”
“I’m glad I’m going, too.”
After he said good-bye and hung up, Emily couldn’t keep from smiling. In fact, she felt like singing. She was definitely going to wait up for Francesca tonight and tell her her news.
Francesca knocked at the door of the saddle shop, her palms sweating. Grady had told her to come around back and park there in the small lot. It was well-lit. She wasn’t afraid of getting mugged.
What was she afraid of?
Seeing Grady again? Feeling the attraction that had tumbled them into intimacy? Here was where it had happened—in his office on the blue-denim couch.
Pushing the images out of her head, she knocked sharply on the door again. There was a dim light inside, a brighter one to the right…in his office.
He opened the door and one look into his deep blue eyes told her he, too, was remembering everything that had happened here. He had coal-black hair that she had run her fingers through. He had broad shoulders that had felt so muscled under her hands. He had a stubbled jaw and that stubble had felt—
“Come on in,” he invited her with a Texas drawl that should have seemed ordinary, but wasn’t.
Her mouth went as dry as the west Texas dirt.
She followed him inside, inhaling the scents of leather, wood, other materials he used for his custom-made saddles. She didn’t pay any attention to the worktables, the bench that Grady had told her his dad had handcrafted for him. Rather she followed Grady into that small lit room.
He went behind his desk and sat in the high-back chair. She didn’t sit in one of the chairs in front of the desk. Instead she stayed standing. “I won’t take up much of your time.”
He leaned back, making the chair squeak. “Take all the time you want. I’m not really thrilled with returning to the bookwork program on my computer.”
To Grady’s right, a cursor blinked on a ledgerlike screen.
There was no point in making small talk. That wasn’t why she had come. “I’m pregnant.”
The two words hung suspended in the air between them.
“Are you saying the baby’s mine?”
She had never imagined he’d doubt that when she told him. “Of course the baby’s yours. You’re the only man I’ve slept with in a year. But if you don’t believe me, then we don’t have anything to talk about.” She turned, ready to leave, almost eager to leave.
But Grady shot out of his desk chair, was around his desk, and grabbing her elbow. “Hold on there. It was just a question.”
Gazing into his eyes, she realized it was a question he’d had to ask. After all, they didn’t know each other.
“We used a condom,” she said lamely, knowing that form of contraception was usually reliable but not foolproof.
Grady sighed and rubbed his hand across his forehead. “Yes, we did, but it was a condom I’ve had in my wallet for a while.”
“It could have broken?”
“Possibly. Or you could have gotten pregnant before I put it on.”
She felt heat crawl into her cheeks. There had been foreplay—teasing foreplay as she’d never experienced before.
Completely aware of his hand on her arm, the tingles dancing up and down, she pulled out of his grasp and had to make something clear. “I don’t want anything from you, Grady. We’d already decided seeing each other again would be a mistake. This doesn’t change that.”
“The heck it doesn’t.” His drawl had become more pronounced with each word. “I’m going to want a DNA test after the baby’s born.”
Her heart lurched. She did not want a relationship, especially not with a man who couldn’t trust. The idea of getting involved again, getting penned up, trapped, controlled, almost made her panic.
He must have seen the look in her eye because he asked, “What’s wrong?”
“I’m going to have this child and raise this child and love this child. But that doesn’t mean you and I have to be…connected.”
“What has you so spooked? You weren’t like this that night.”
No, she wasn’t. That night had been full of wonder and impulse. When she’d met Grady, the chemistry between them had been so strong she hadn’t thought about the next day or a week from that night.
“I’m not spooked. I just don’t want to be involved.”
“You are spooked. You’re afraid I’ll do something you don’t want me to do. So why did you tell me?”
“You had the right to know. Sagebrush is a small town.”
“And I could put have two and two together easily if I saw you pregnant and figured out the dates.”
“Yes,” she admitted, wanting to turn from his probing blue eyes but unable to do so.
His voice lowered…was gentle yet more intense. “You’re not going to cut me out of the baby’s life. If I’m a dad, I’m going be a dad. Do you understand that, Francesca?”
She went cold inside from the thought of him wanting any kind of control, and licked her dry lips. “What does that mean?”
“It means I want to spend time with my son or daughter. I want to have a say in decisions. I want to act like a real parent. I’ve looked forward all my life to being a dad. I’m not going to let the opportunity slip away.”
Grady came from a large family, a loving family, and she should have realized he’d feel this way.
“Don’t look so scared, Frannie. I’m not going to try to take custody away from you, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
She didn’t know what she was thinking. No one had ever called her Frannie.
“I’m not scared,” she returned defensively, squaring her shoulders. “I’m just worried you’ll want to tell me what to do and that’s not going to happen.”
He eyed her assessingly. “I guess we really don’t know each other, do we? One night on the sofa doesn’t a couple make.”
“No, it doesn’t. And we’re not a couple.”
He let a few pounding heartbeats pass before he asked, “When are you due?”
“February twenty-seventh.”
“What are you going to do about your practice?”
“I haven’t figured everything out yet. I’ve only known a short while.”
He cocked his head. “Did you think about not telling me and moving away from Sagebrush?”
She was hoping her guilt didn’t show.
“You did, didn’t you?” he accused. Then calmly he asked, “What made you decide to stay and not run?”
“I’m not a coward. I have a life here. I’m not going to let any man make me give up what I’m building.”
He slid his hands into the back pockets of his jeans—as if maybe he wanted to do something else with them—and continued to study her. “So what do you suggest we do?”
“I’d like you to give me time—the length of my pregnancy—to figure some things out.”
A line creased his brow and he didn’t seem to like the idea. Yet he asked, “You’ll call me when the baby’s born?”
She nodded.
His strong jaw set and his mouth formed a tight line. “I have one condition.”
“What?”
“You e-mail me a report every time you go to the doctor just to let me know everything’s okay.”
For some reason, she didn’t quibble. She didn’t see the condition as manipulation. Grady was asking her to communicate with him and it didn’t have to be in a personal way, just in the form of a report. She could do that.
“All right,” she agreed. “That won’t be a problem.”
“Have you been to see a doctor yet?” he asked.
“Yes, yesterday. Dr. Jared Madison’s my doctor. Every other month, I’ll see his obstetrical nurse practitioner. She’s my roommate, Emily Diaz. When I hit the third trimester, I’ll see him.”
Grady reached over to his desk and picked up a card from the holder there. He turned it around and jotted something on the back. Then he handed it to her. “My e-mail address is on the front. My cell phone number’s on the back. If you need anything—”
“I won’t, Grady. Really.”
“When you go into labor, I want to know.”
“When I go into labor? Why?”
“Because I want to be with you. I want to anticipate this baby being born and be there when he or she is. I mean it, Frannie. Don’t deny me that right.”
Remembering the night they’d spent together—his passion, tenderness and hunger, she assured him, “I won’t,” controlling her voice so it wouldn’t tremble. Then she tucked his card into her purse and turned to leave.
He followed her to the door.
After he’d opened it for her, he suggested, “I want you to think about the benefit of a child having two parents rather than one. I know it won’t be easy to do, but we’re smart people. We should be able to figure it out.”
She’d have six and a half more months to figure this out, thank goodness. She had a feeling she was going to need every day of those six and a half months to decide how she could coparent with Grady without being involved with him. Getting involved when she was actually ready for it wouldn’t be easy. Getting involved in this situation would be sheer lunacy.
As she said good-bye and left, she realized she liked having a nickname for the first time in her life…and she liked the sound of that nickname on Grady Fitzgerald’s lips.
Chapter Seven
Emily was concerned Jared had changed his mind about wanting to be with her at the charity banquet. He’d been quiet ever since he picked her up Saturday evening.
Now as they stood outside the ballroom, he asked, “Would you like me to check your shawl?”
“Please,” she replied, not wanting to be encumbered by the wrap at the dinner table.
She’d begun to shrug it off when she felt Jared’s large hand at her shoulder, helping her remove it. As his fingers brushed against her collarbone, she trembled. She glanced at him over her shoulder. When he gazed into her eyes, they seemed frozen in time. She was sure she saw desire in his eyes, but she wasn’t sure what else.
“Jared, is something wrong tonight?” she asked softly.
He let out a long sigh. “You mean besides the fact that you look prettier than I’ve ever seen you?”
There was frustration in his voice as his eyes ran over the black silk-jersey halter dress with its cranberry trim around the decolletage and hem. She’d worn her hair swept up into a bed of curls, and garnets dangled from delicate gold chain earrings.
His compliment bathed her with its male appreciation and she didn’t understand the problem.
Loose curls from her upswept hairdo dangled around her face. He fingered one and wrapped it around his index finger. “When you opened your door to me tonight, I didn’t want to bring you to some charity dinner. I wanted to—”
“Emily! Jared! We’ve been waiting for you. We snatched one of the tables for four.” Tessa rushed up to them and gave Emily a hug. “It seems like forever since I’ve seen you.”
Emily hugged her friend back. She missed Tessa’s presence in the house, but she wanted Jared to finish that sentence. She wanted to hear what he felt.
Tessa’s husband, Vince, gave her a hug, too. In the past month, she’d gotten to know him better and considered him a friend. She introduced him to Jared and the men shook hands.
“You were the chief of police in Sagebrush for a while, weren’t you?” Jared asked Vince.
“For a few months. I just started working for an investigative and security firm in Lubbock.”
Tessa hooked her arm through her husband’s. “We’d better reclaim our table or somebody might steal it.”
After Jared checked Emily’s shawl, his hand moved to the small of her back. She could feel the imprint of it through the thin fabric. “We’ll talk later,” he mumbled, guiding her into the ballroom.
Emily saw many faces she recognized. But with Jared’s hand on her back, her mind focused on his hand’s heat and texture and the trill of sparks that skipped down her spine. There was always heat when the two of them were together. What had he been about to say? That he wanted to make love to her? That he would rather have closed the door at her house and spent the night in bed with her? Could she satisfy him? Would his desire last beyond one night?
At the table, he pulled out her chair for her. When she sat, he leaned close as he pushed her in. If she turned her head, her cheek might graze his jaw. She took in a deep breath.
Jared straightened, but she was still so aware of him. The current between them tonight was lightning hot, lightning fast, and as dangerous as lightning.
Jared took the seat around the corner from Emily. She noticed the way his dark-brown hair waved over his forehead, the way his brow creased as if he was deep in thought. He was wearing a charcoal suit and a red-and-charcoal tie tonight. She saw him in a suit practically every day, but tonight—he seemed bigger than life, more than her boss, more than a friend. Maybe she was just deluding herself, believing he might be falling for her, too.
“Emily tells me she’s been spending time with your daughters,” Tessa observed, glancing from Emily to Jared as if she could sense the current rippling between them.
“Yes, she has,” Jared replied. “She’s very good with them.”
Tessa smiled fondly at Emily. “She’s one of our favorite babysitters.”
“How old are your children?” Jared asked.
Emily was grateful he was keeping the conversation going.
Tessa let Vince answer. “Natalie is fourteen months. Sean is ten months. You should bring the girls over sometime. The four of them would probably have a great play session.”
Emily watched Jared to see if he was open to the suggestion. To her surprise, he said, “That would be great. Amy and Courtney go to preschool now, but that’s only for three days a week.”
“What about tomorrow?” Tessa asked. “We can try out our new grill. Are you free?” she asked Emily.
Emily felt awkward. She didn’t want Jared to feel forced to spend time with her. She wasn’t sure what to say. “Yes, I’m free, but—” She glanced at Jared. “You three have a lot in common with your kids. I don’t want you to feel as if you have to invite me…” She trailed off.
Tessa looked from Emily to Jared. “I’m not playing matchmaker. I just thought we might all have a good time.”
Jared stepped into the awkwardness and covered Emily’s hand with his. Tingles swept up her arm. “I enjoy Emily’s company and I’m sure with four kids around we can use her help keeping them on an even keel.”
A three-piece band had been setting up and as they began playing couples headed to the dance floor.
Jared asked Emily, “Would you like to dance?”
“It’s been so long since I’ve been on a dance floor, I don’t know if I remember how.”
“It’s like riding a bicycle,” he teased, stood and offered her his hand. She took it, rising to her feet. With her hand in Jared’s, she felt…excited but safe. Her breaths quickened as she anticipated being held in his arms once more.
On the dance floor, they stood in the ballroom dancing position, a good six inches apart. Then he gave her a crooked smile, pulled her a little closer and wrapped his fingers tighter around hers.
Her breasts against his chest, her cheek against the fabric of his suit, she inhaled his cologne and felt almost dizzy from just being so close.
After the first verse of the song, Jared asked, “Why would you think I wouldn’t want you to go with me to Tessa and Vince’s?”
“Do you?” she asked, holding her breath.
“Yes.” His fingers moved against hers. “But it’s much safer for us to be in a crowd like this, or to be with another couple with kids around.”
Safer.
Now his eyes were serious. “I don’t want to hurt you. I told you I don’t want to get involved with anyone again. I never intend to remarry. Once was enough.”
He was so certain. Her hopes for more than one night, for a committed relationship dissolved. Yet maybe if she told him how she felt…“You and I both came through a divorce, but I guess I feel differently about it. I’d like to have a second chance at finding real happiness.”
“I’d rather just be content.”
She couldn’t argue with him about that, but she wanted more than contentment. She wanted to share her life, share her thoughts, share her dreams. But Jared didn’t. He was making himself perfectly clear.
For a short while, they simply danced. Jared’s firm guidance made it easy, though her heart raced at the slide of his fingers down her back, the pressure of his palm against hers. The expression on his face told her serious passion could develop between them if he let it.
Would he let it? Would she?
One song segued into the next and the dance floor became more crowded. Jared brought Emily closer to him. When she looked up, her lips were very near his cheek. The nerve in his jaw worked and she thought she could feel the thumping of his heart. Maybe the sensation was hers pounding even harder.
“You wanted to know why I was so quiet tonight when I picked you up.” His voice was low…intimate.
“I wondered if you regretted asking me to come tonight. ”
Leaning back slightly, he studied her, then shook his head. “Your ex-husband must have done a number on you. Any man would be glad to escort you.”
She felt herself blushing.
“You’re part of the reason why I was quiet. It’s not because I don’t want to be with you, because I do.”
“What’s the other part?”
“My mind’s on a discussion I had with my mother this afternoon.”
“She’s in rehab now?”
“Yes. And she’s making progress. But she’s worried. She’s worried she’ll be a burden rather than an asset when she comes home. She’s thinking that maybe after rehab, she should go into an assisted-living facility.”
“But you don’t think she should.”
“Only if that’s what she really wants. I think she’s just frustrated with not recovering more quickly, and after another week or so, she’ll be stronger. I also think she’ll be happier if she lives with us. If she can’t take care of the girls, I’ll hire a nanny. But I think it’s better for her to be with us than to be alone in a tiny apartment.”
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Ann Evans и Karen Smith
Тип: электронная книга
Жанр: Современные любовные романы
Язык: на английском языке
Издательство: HarperCollins
Дата публикации: 16.04.2024
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О книге: The Midwife’s Glass Slipper Karen Rose SmithDr Jared Madison would risk almost anything for his adorable twin girls. But what they really needed was a mother’s loving touch – and the gorgeous Texan was still too wounded by the past to take a chance on romance. Would his new midwife change his mind?Best For the Baby Ann EvansAlaina fell in love with Zack when she was nine years old. Only things didn’t turn out the way she planned. But when the abandoned mother-to-be is forced to head for home – and Zack – their mutual attraction can’t be denied. Could Zack be the family man she’s been searching for?