Texas Rebels: Phoenix
Linda Warren
THE COWBOY’S LAST RIDEOnce he gets over the shock of finding out he’s a father, Phoenix Rebel is ready to do right by his toddler son. The gorgeous barrel racer he runs into on the circuit could add a much-needed woman’s touch. There’s just one problem. She’s a McCray—a Rebel’s worst enemy.Rosemary could gaze into Phoenix’s warm brown eyes forever. And helping the sexy bull rider and his adorable two-year-old has ignited a fierce yearning in Rosie. Somehow she and Phoenix have to find a way to create their own family—even if it means leaving everyone else they love behind…
Cast of Characters (#ulink_723833ff-7939-5697-9a6a-4c64acd41dab)
Kate Rebel: Matriarch of the Rebel family.
Falcon: The oldest son—the strong one. Reunited with his wife, Leah, and proud father of Eden and John.
Egan: The loner. Married to Rachel Hollister, daughter of the man who put him in jail.
Quincy: The peacemaker. Married to Jenny Walker, his childhood best friend.
Elias: The fighter. Falls in love with the archenemy of the family’s daughter.
Paxton: The lover. Never met a woman he couldn’t have, but the woman he wants doesn’t want him.
Jude: The serious, responsible one. Back together with his first love, Paige Wheeler, and raising their son, Zane.
Phoenix: The wild one and the youngest. He’s carefree until Child Protective Services says he’s the father of a small boy.
Abraham (Abe) Rebel: Paternal grandfather.
Jericho Johnson: Egan’s friend from prison.
Texas Rebels: Phoenix
Linda Warren
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
A two-time RITA
Award–nominated author, LINDA WARREN has written thirty-eight books for Mills & Boon and has received the Readers’ Choice Award, the Holt Medallion, the Booksellers’ Best Award, the Book Buyers Best Award, the Golden Quill and the RT Reviewers’ Choice Best Book Award. A native Texan, she is a member of Romance Writers of America and the West Houston chapter. She lives in College Station with her husband and a menagerie of animals, including a Canada goose named Broken Wing. You can learn more about Linda and her books at www.lindawarren.net (http://www.lindawarren.net).
To Christi Hendricks—for organizing sixteen years of book signings.
Acknowledgments (#ulink_7c27b80d-7f61-54f7-99d5-f83719711d24)
A special thanks to Vanessa Carmona Hoke for taking the time to share her knowledge of the Department of Family and Protective Services.
And to Carrol Abendroth, barrel racer, for discussing the rodeo and barrel racing.
And to PRCA for all their information.
Contents
Cover (#ub83f387c-d1a5-5b16-a5ce-a918422b29bf)
Cast of Characters (#ulink_113db628-f72f-5c9e-90ca-24b96aec814d)
Title Page (#u4dace048-6ee0-5173-b042-f16513ed9bed)
About the Author (#ud67f1e11-3284-5840-9006-c7b835091fe1)
Dedication (#u78b541e3-558f-58a7-9df5-adc787cf53ae)
Acknowledgments (#ulink_f4fed6d2-c608-5d40-910a-d1c7e796bcc4)
Prologue (#ulink_90dbf586-f662-53f2-abf9-8eb5247877d5)
Chapter One (#ulink_0ad13b6c-1c00-55b7-bff4-08d065f91aaa)
Chapter Two (#ulink_f82a904f-ddaa-5eb7-ba5c-e15392c9fc7a)
Chapter Three (#ulink_d94729a8-50a3-5098-ab58-aa61fe72f707)
Chapter Four (#ulink_2ece204d-aa97-56df-8874-639aa8ca0cbf)
Chapter Five (#ulink_720dcbf5-c63b-5ea0-b8ba-5b1bbafb9316)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fifteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Sixteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seventeen (#litres_trial_promo)
Epilogue (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
Prologue (#ulink_d48c33af-b498-562a-b88f-964094c516ec)
My name is Kate Rebel. I married John Rebel when I was eighteen years old and then bore him seven sons. We worked the family ranch, which John later inherited. We put everything we had into buying more land so our sons would have a legacy. We didn’t have much, but we had love.
The McCray Ranch borders Rebel Ranch on the east and the McCrays have forever been a thorn in my family’s side. They’ve cut our fences, dammed up creeks to limit our water supply and shot one of our prize bulls. Ezra McCray threatened to shoot our sons if he caught them jumping his fences again. We tried to keep our boys away, but they are boys—young and wild.
One day Jude and Phoenix, two of our youngest, were out riding together. When John heard shots, he immediately went to find his boys. They lay on the ground, blood oozing from their heads. Ezra McCray was astride a horse twenty yards away with a rifle in his hand. John drew his gun and fired, killing Ezra instantly. Both boys survived with only minor wounds. Since my husband was protecting his children, he didn’t spend even one night in jail. This escalated the feud that still goes on today.
The man I knew as my husband died that day. He couldn’t live with what he’d done and started to drink heavily. I had to take over the ranch and the raising of our boys. John died ten years later. We’ve all been affected by the tragedy, especially my sons.
They are grown men now and deal in different ways with the pain of losing their father. One day I pray my boys will be able to put this behind them and live healthy, normal lives with women who will love them the way I loved their father.
Chapter One (#ulink_f38bee65-7564-5031-8b3b-32d771a64192)
Phoenix: the youngest son—the fun-loving one.
The cowboy’s last ride.
Phoenix Rebel had been called a lot of things, but he’d never been called daddy. Yet the lady sitting on his mother’s leather sectional with the grim reaper-like expression and thick wire-rimmed glasses seemed determined to pin that label on him.
He scooted forward in his chair, trying to pay attention and look like a mature adult because his mother was sitting right there staring at him. If there was anything he hated, it was having to account to his mother for his misdeeds.
Before any profound words could leave his throat, Ms. Henshaw removed an iPad from her briefcase and laid it on the coffee table, pushing it toward him with one long finger. She tapped the screen. A photo of a young woman appeared.
“This is Valerie Green. Are you sure you don’t know her?”
He studied the pretty, blue-eyed blonde. She looked vaguely familiar, but he’d seen girls like that all over the country as he traveled the rodeo circuit. How was he supposed to remember this one?
“She’s from Denver, Colorado,” Ms. Henshaw added.
That triggered his memory. “Yeah, I met Valerie at a rodeo almost three years ago, I think. I’m not clear on the time. We hooked up for a wild weekend after the rodeo.”
Ms. Henshaw’s gray eyes skewered him above her glasses. “Hooked up? Is that your way of saying you slept with her?”
Again, Phoenix was very aware his mother was listening to every word. He was a grown man, and she knew the lifestyle he and his brother Paxton lived on the circuit. Although Paxton’s life was much more colorful than his. The thought of his brother reminded him he had to be on the road in ten minutes, so he’d better get this over with.
For a moment he considered this might all be a joke. Maybe his buddies were getting him back for the times he’d played tricks on them. But one look at the grim reaper’s expression and Phoenix knew the woman had never cracked a joke in her whole life.
This was serious.
“Yeah.” That was the honest truth. In front of his mother. And it didn’t hurt a bit.
The woman touched the screen again, and the face of a little boy popped up. Phoenix stared at the brown hair and the big brown eyes, and recognition tugged at his heart.
“That’s Jake. He’s Valerie’s son and twenty-five months old.”
Phoenix raised his eyes to stare into her steely grays. “You said you’re looking for the father. I’m not the father.”
In response, she touched the iPad again, and a document filled the screen. “This is a birth certificate, and if you look closely you’ll see that you are listed as the father.”
Oh, crap! There it was in black and white. “I spent a weekend with the woman almost three years ago. She liked rodeo cowboys and followed the circuit. If she was pregnant with my child, I’m sure she would have found a way to get in touch with me.”
“If you’re not the father, why do you think she would put your name on the birth certificate?”
Phoenix shrugged. “I have no idea.” He rubbed his hands together, not wanting to appear callous. “What’s happened to Valerie that you’re now looking for the father?” The woman hadn’t given any details, and he was curious.
Ms. Henshaw picked up the iPad and placed it on her lap. “I’m coordinating this case with a CPS worker in Denver. Valerie has no living relatives, and we’re trying to place this little boy with relatives. Hopefully, his father.”
“So Valerie’s out of the picture?”
“We haven’t been able to locate her. Jake lived with his great-grandmother, who had been named managing conservator since Valerie left him to get married. A week ago the great-grandmother passed away. She was found on the floor in the kitchen, and the autopsy showed she died from a brain aneurysm.”
“Where was the boy?”
“This is just an assumption, but when he couldn’t wake his great-grandmother, he pulled a chair to the front door and somehow opened it and got out. He was found on the street two blocks away in nothing but a soiled diaper. Someone saw him and called the police, who went door-to-door trying to find where the little boy had come from. A neighbor identified him, and that’s how they found Mrs. Green. He is now in foster care and not happy. He cries daily wanting Ma Ma.”
Phoenix clasped his hands together until they were numb. The story did a number on his conscience. Could the kid be his? The question went round and round in his head like a lead marble, leaving indentions that he didn’t want to feel.
“Have the police given up on finding Valerie?”
“No, but with few leads they’re stumped. Mrs. Green’s neighbor said that Valerie met a guy who wanted to get married, but he didn’t want the kid. That’s why she left him with her grandmother. The neighbor said the baby was about three months old then, and Valerie hadn’t been back to see the boy since. The grandmother kept hoping she would return. The boy needed someone younger in his life.”
Phoenix felt a tug on his heart again for that little boy. His emotions were getting involved, and he couldn’t let that happen. The kid wasn’t his.
Ms. Henshaw thumbed through the iPad. “The authorities there also talked to a friend of Valerie’s. She hadn’t heard from Valerie since she’d married, but when questioned about Jake, she said that Valerie didn’t really know who the father was. When asked why your name was on the birth certificate, the woman said probably because it was an easy name to remember.”
Oh, man. Even if this was a joke, his buddies could never get it this good or pick a woman as heartless as Valerie Green.
“The woman gave CPS two more names, and we’re tracking them down. Valerie was determined to get child support from someone. That is, until the new man came along and she forgot about the boy. That may be why she never contacted you.” She thumbed through more information. “The grandmother received a good pension from her husband, so the child was well taken care of. I guess Valerie knew that. Now—” she reached inside the big bag again “—it’s time to find out who the father really is.” She pulled out a vial with what looked like a large Q-tip in it. “If you agree, I can swab your mouth, and we’ll know in a couple of weeks if you’re the father or not.”
A swarm of butterflies attacked his stomach, similar to when he slid onto an eighteen-hundred-pound bull, knowing this was it—the truth. He’d either get thrown onto his keister or last the eight seconds.
“Sure. I just feel I’m not the father.” Yet that feeling was slowly waning.
Ms. Henshaw got up and came over to him. Within a second, she ran the swab through his mouth and placed it back into the tube. He noticed his name was written on it. That was it. Easy. The truth would be easy.
She stowed her iPad in the big briefcase and handed him a business card. “My phone numbers are on there. Call if you have any questions.”
“Thanks. How will I get the results?”
She reached for her phone in her purse. “I can call you, which would probably be the easiest way since you’re always on the circuit. What’s your number?”
He gave it to her, and she stored it in her phone. She then turned to his mother. “Thanks, Mrs. Rebel, for allowing me into your home. I hope we can resolve this situation soon.”
His mother stood and shook the woman’s hand. “I hope you find the little boy’s father. A boy needs a father.”
“Yes, ma’am, I agree with you.”
Phoenix got to his feet and also shook the woman’s hand. “I’m a little conflicted about all this, but if I’m the father, I will take responsibility.”
She nodded and walked toward the front door. His mother followed, and his brothers Jude and Quincy came in from the kitchen.
“What’s going on?” Jude asked.
“A girl I spent a weekend with says I’m the father of her baby.” Phoenix had no problem talking to his brothers. That’s how they’d gotten through the years after their father’s death. They shared with and depended on each other.
“Is it possible?” Quincy asked.
“Yep. She put my name on the birth certificate, but her friend said she wasn’t sure who the father was. Isn’t that a touching story?”
“Did you use protection?” Quincy kept up the questions.
“I always use protection.”
“Then you may not be.” Jude patted him on the shoulder. “Did she do a DNA test?”
“Yes.” Phoenix reached for his hat on the chair. “Now you two can stop smothering me. I may be the youngest, but I’m old enough to take care of my own life, even if I screw up every now and then.”
His mother joined the little group. “Did Phoenix tell you what’s going on?”
“Yes, Mom, I did. And now I have to go to a rodeo. I’ll let y’all know if I’m a daddy or not.”
“Phoenix, I want to talk to you.”
“Sorry, Mom, I’ve got to go.” No way was he having this conversation with his mother.
Quincy was a step behind him. “We’re here if you need us.”
Looking back at his older brother, Phoenix knew he could depend on Quincy for anything. Jude, too. And his other brothers. They were family. But this time Phoenix had to go this alone to sort through his own thoughts and everything that had happened back then.
Phoenix nodded. “See y’all in a couple weeks.” He walked out the door to the truck and travel trailer waiting in the driveway. Climbing into the passenger seat, he said, “Let’s go.”
Paxton shoved the shift into gear. “What’s going on? What did that woman want?”
“Just drive and get us out of Horseshoe, Texas.” Phoenix leaned back his head and pulled his hat over his eyes, hoping his brother would get the message. He didn’t want to talk.
The three-quarter-ton truck pulled the travel trailer with ease, but the ride was still bumpy, and Phoenix’s thoughts were even bumpier. He tried to remember Valerie and that time. It was a little blurry because they were drinking and having fun like he did after a lot of rodeos. Lately he and Paxton had slowed down. He hated to say it was an age thing. He preferred to look at it as maturity.
After the rodeo, Valerie and some girls had come back to the cowboy area and asked if they wanted to party. Of course, that was like asking a cowboy if he wanted beer. They went to a club and danced and drank and then went to a motel. The next night was much the same. Valerie made a beeline for him and they hooked up again. This time he sensed she was on something more than beer and figured she was just a little too wild for him. He wasn’t into the heavy stuff. He was a cowboy. Riding came first with him.
She’d wanted his number, and he’d given her a fake one because he knew he didn’t want to see her again. He remembered that vividly. Little things were starting to come back. Valerie was just a one-night stand. That would be sad if he was her child’s father. That wasn’t how children were supposed to be conceived. Oh, man.
He sat up straight and gazed out at the scenery flashing by. Rural Texas in September was still dry and hot, but the greenery was beginning to fade as signs of fall were creeping in.
“You ready to talk?” Paxton asked.
“No.”
“You don’t have to. I’ve already gotten messages from Quincy and Jude.”
“They’re like two mother hens.”
“You got caught, huh?”
“Shut up.” They rode for a while in silence and then Phoenix asked, “Do you remember Valerie Green?”
“No.”
“I’m having a hard time remembering her, too, but some of it’s coming back. A buckle bunny who wanted to have fun, and now she says I’m her kid’s dad. And don’t ask me if I used protection or I’ll hit you.”
“Why would I judge you? I could be in your boots.”
Phoenix and Paxton had traveled the circuit for years, and they knew each other better than anyone. They liked the girls who came to the rodeos. They couldn’t deny that. The women’s attention was a turn-on. But now Phoenix was wondering why he needed all that attention.
“I don’t feel like a father. Aren’t you supposed to feel those things?”
Paxton laughed, slapping his hand against the steering wheel. “You’re asking me?”
“Right. What was I thinking?” Paxton, with his charismatic charm and good looks, was the proverbial playboy. Around the rodeo circuit he was known as the “Heartthrob.” Women gravitated toward him, and he had his pick of anyone he wanted. At times that had gotten him into some jams. Last year a girl wrecked his whole rodeo season, but he’d straightened up his act, and now both of them were in the top ten cowboys in the country. They would be in Vegas for the big show come December if they didn’t screw up.
“You know, Pax, I’m changing my ways. It’s not a good feeling for someone to come out of the blue and say I might have a son. That’s irresponsible and immature. Dad would not be happy with me. From now on I will be choosy about whom I sleep with.”
“Yeah, right.” Paxton drove past two girls in a red Volkswagen. Once the girls saw the truck and trailer, with “Save a Horse. Ride a Cowboy.” sticker they honked their horn and waved out the window. Right there, Phoenix decided the girl thing was just too easy and he had to be more responsible. He wouldn’t give in to any more light flirtations.
His mind kept rolling with the miles, and he seemed to have a need to look back over his life and the rodeo. It had been one endless party, and he felt the weight of that for the first time. How could he have created a life and not know anything about it? That was unacceptable.
“Why do you think we need the excitement and attention of the rodeo?”
“Go back to sleep, Phoenix. You’re giving me a headache.”
“I’m serious. I think we crave the attention we got from our dad, and we get that from the rodeo and the girls.”
“Don’t bring Dad into this. You’re agonizing over this kid and he might not even be yours. Just go to sleep and don’t think about it until you get the call.”
That was easy for Pax to say. He hadn’t seen the face of the little boy or heard how he was crying for his great-grandma. For his own sanity, Phoenix leaned back and tried to sleep. It didn’t work. In his defense, he worked as hard as he played. It took a lot of training and skill to stay on an ornery bull for eight seconds. This past year they had put in a lot of effort to accomplish their goals, including the ultimate prize—competing, and winning, at the National Finals Rodeo. Phoenix had won the gold buckle in bull riding last year, and he was hoping to repeat. Paxton was close on his heels. If he had to lose, he’d want to lose to his brother.
In Wichita Falls, they switched drivers, and Phoenix drove all the way to Oklahoma. They arrived at the rodeo grounds in the late afternoon. The rodeo was tonight, and trucks and trailers were parked everywhere. The travel trailer was much better than sleeping in the truck, which they’d done for a lot of years before they’d started to make money.
Phoenix pulled up behind a truck and trailer with stripes down the side.
“Would you look at that?”
Paxton sat up and straightened his hat. “That’s a fancy outfit.”
“I’m not talking about that. It’s parked in two spots. That’s not the cowboy way. We respect each other, and that person just hogged a parking spot.”
“Park somewhere else. We have to check in.”
Maybe it was his bad mood, but Phoenix decided he wasn’t parking somewhere else. He was going to teach this person a lesson in manners. He pulled in as close as he could to the other rig.
“What are you doing? We’re too close.”
“My thought exactly. Maybe he can crawl out the window, because he’s not opening the driver’s side door.”
It didn’t take them long to find out the driver was not a he but a she. She climbed out the passenger door and stormed over to them. Phoenix got out and met her and was completely taken aback by the beauty of a woman he’d seen many times, but never this close up.
She was slim, in tight-fitting denim, boots and a white tank top tucked into her jeans...basically the sexiest woman he’d ever seen. A leather belt with a gold belt buckle she had won barrel racing circled her tiny waist. A Stetson crowned her head, and long, coppery hair hung down her back. Her eyes were the coldest blue he’d ever seen, similar to the sky when the ground was frozen on a winter’s day. A chill slid up his spine.
“What do you think you’re doing? Move your truck. It’s too close to mine.”
“You’re taking up two spaces. That’s not the cowboy way.”
She placed her hands on her waist, stretching the tank top across full breasts. Any other time Phoenix would have enjoyed the view, but he was still in anger mode. “Excuse me?”
“We look out for each other, and taking up more space than you need is not good or respectful.”
“You’ve got to be kidding.”
“I’m not. If you want to get into your truck, you’ll have to move it over.”
“You...you...you despicable, conniving, egotistical...”
A smile touched his face for the first time today. This was so out of character for him. He was usually easygoing and fun to be around. He held up a hand. “I get the picture. You still have to move your truck and horse trailer. It promotes good relationships within the cowboy community.”
“You may have won this round, Mr....”
He held out his hand. “Phoenix Rebel.”
She glanced at his hand and then at his face, her blue eyes now so cold he was tempted to take a step backward. “I know who you are, and I would never touch you. You Rebels are all alike, greedy, selfish and without respect for others.” After saying that, she stormed back to her truck and climbed through the passenger door. In seconds she had it backed up and reparked.
Phoenix crawled back into his truck, and Paxton stared at him with a lifted eyebrow.
“Have you lost your mind? Everybody parks wherever they want. All of a sudden we have rules? No one told me.”
“Shut up.”
“You do know who she is?”
Phoenix rubbed his hand across the steering wheel. “Yes. Rosemary McCray.”
“Rosemary McCray Wilcott,” Paxton corrected him. “She’s divorced, I heard.”
“What else do you know about her?”
Paxton turned to face him. “Let me refresh your memory. Ezra McCray tried to kill you and Jude for jumping his fences. Jude has a bullet scar on his forehead to prove it. Our father, John Rebel, shot and killed Ezra, which escalated the Rebel/McCray feud to high alert. Rosemary is a McCray, and the off-limits sign is flashing right above her head. Don’t you see it?”
“What else?” Phoenix asked again, as if Pax hadn’t spoken.
Paxton sighed. “Phoenix.”
“What else?”
“Her horse’s name is Golden Lady, and the cowboys call Ms. Wilcott Frosty Lady because she’s shot down everyone who’s tried to date her.”
“I know that. What else?”
“Not much. Her friends call her Rosie, but she isn’t very friendly and she stays to herself, which you should do, too. Do you hear me?”
Phoenix couldn’t get that look in her eyes out of his mind. “She must be younger than me, because I don’t remember her in school.”
“Yeah. About four years, I think.” Paxton nailed him with a dark stare. “Why are you curious?”
“I don’t know. There’s just something about her. She seems so sad.”
“Is that why you laid into her like a crazy fool?”
“I didn’t know it was her. I thought it was a guy.”
“Oh, that makes sense. Someone who could punch your lights out. Right before a rodeo, I might add.”
Phoenix tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. “What else do you know about her?”
Paxton groaned. “You’re not going to let this go, are you?”
“I’m curious. That’s all.”
“I heard down at Rowdy’s beer joint that Ira McCray married her off to a man twice her age. The man was supposed to pour money into the McCray ranch to get it back on its feet. Rosemary filed for divorce a year later and Ira disowned her. I’d say not being able to see your family is a lot to be sad about.”
“Yeah.” Phoenix felt a stab of guilt for being so rude to her. It was just a reflex reaction to everything that was going on in his life. He didn’t want to be taken advantage of anymore.
Paxton opened his door. “Do you want to set up the trailer or check us in?”
Phoenix got out of the truck. “I’ll check us in.” As he passed Rosemary’s vehicle, he thought of going over and apologizing to her. But he knew the last thing she wanted from him was an apology. She wanted revenge, and in the days that followed she would probably find a way to get back at him.
Chapter Two (#ulink_df64b160-c55e-530b-8f3b-97fa11d3ac8e)
Rosie sat on the small sofa in her live-in horse trailer, willing the anger to subside. The trucks and trailers were parked in a field close to the rodeo arena. There were no marked spots. How dare he chastise her for taking up space? How dare he!
In a hurry because Dixie, her precious Jack Russell–mixed terrier, had to pee, she’d pulled in quickly, not noticing she was far away from the other vehicle. She’d opened the door and Dixie had hopped out to do her business. Then Phoenix Rebel had the nerve to pull in so close she couldn’t get out of her truck. Who did he think he was?
She’d seen him and his brother Paxton many times at the rodeos. She ignored them and they ignored her. It worked well considering their family histories. Until today. She should have refused to move her truck, but escalating a feud that should’ve died years ago was not one of her goals. She preferred a quiet, peaceful life, but bending to his will grated on her nerves.
The times she’d seen him around the rodeo, he was always laughing and joking with the cowboys, and some girl was always hanging off his arm. Today was a complete about-face from the guy she’d glimpsed on occasion. He’d lost his cool and she had no idea why. The parking couldn’t have been it. Was he just trying to get in a dig at her because she was a McCray? She didn’t care anymore. She was going to forget about the whole thing because she intended to ride very well at this rodeo. Her scores were good, and going to Vegas was her main goal. Her livelihood depended on how well she rode and how much money she’d make. And Phoenix Rebel was not going to break her stride.
Dixie whined and Rosie picked her up, stroking her. Dixie and Golden Lady, her palomino horse, were her family now. And that was just too sad even to think about. Her father had said she could never come home because she had betrayed the family. But living a lonely life was better than living the life her father had planned for her. She shook the memories away, refusing to let them get her down. She had to prepare for the rodeo.
A tap sounded at the door, and she jumped. It couldn’t be. Tentatively she got to her feet and opened the door. Haley Wilson stood there. A barrel racer, Rosie saw her at the rodeos and they’d become friendly. Rosie usually kept to herself, but Haley was outgoing and bubbly and sometimes wouldn’t take no for an answer.
“Hey, I saw your trailer. You riding tonight?” With brown hair and brown eyes, Haley was a typical cowgirl with tight jeans, an equally tight shirt, boots and a Stetson. And a smile that stretched all the way to Austin.
“Yeah. Come in.” She never asked anyone into her living quarters, but today she did for some reason. Maybe that lonely thing was getting to her.
Haley looked around. “This is nice. Mine is much smaller, and I’m always happy to get home to my comfy bed, aren’t you?”
Rosie couldn’t tell her this was her home and comfy bed. This was where she lived full-time because she couldn’t afford anything else. Luckily Haley kept talking, so a response wasn’t necessary.
“When I start winning money, I’m upgrading big time.” Haley scratched Dixie’s head. “What a cutie.”
“She’s my roommate.”
Haley thumbed over her shoulder. “Isn’t that the Rebel boys’ trailer next to you?”
“Yeah. You got a thing for the Rebels?”
“Well, I wouldn’t say no if they asked me out for a beer.”
Why were women such suckers? The Rebel boys only wanted one thing. But if Haley was willing, what business was it of Rosie’s?
Haley turned toward the door. “I gotta get my horse over to the arena. I’ll see you there. Good luck tonight.”
“You, too.”
Rosie slipped on a white sparkly Western shirt and tucked it into her jeans. At the arena, she would wrap Lady’s legs below the knee with white also. It was a thing with her to match, and her fans had come to expect it. She kissed Dixie goodbye and went out to the trailer to unload Lady.
When Rosie had first seen the palomino with the white mane and tail, she’d known she had to have her. She was a beautiful horse and she had speed unlike any horse Rosie had ever owned. Stroking her gently, Rosie cooed silly words to her, making sure no one could hear, especially Phoenix Rebel.
In minutes she had a saddle on her and was ready to ride over to the arena. With one boot in the stirrup, she noticed Phoenix coming out of his trailer.
“Can I talk to you for a minute?” His voice was soft now with an underlying tone of huskiness, but it did nothing for her. She didn’t like the man.
“I have nothing to say to you. Now or ever. But I do hope the bull you ride tonight has big horns and points them south where the sun don’t shine.” She kneed Lady and rode away, enjoying the stunned look on his face.
* * *
PHOENIX GAVE UP trying to apologize to a woman who was as stubborn as a mule. He did enjoy her sense of humor, though. She could be his kind of woman except for one thing: she was a McCray and he was a Rebel. And that other thing, too. She hated his guts.
He didn’t know why he was thinking about her when he had enough on his plate to keep him occupied for the next few months. She ignored him for the rest of the rodeo and again when she saw him in Pasadena, Texas. The ignoring thing went on. Sometimes, just to annoy her, he would walk her way to see if she would react. She didn’t. They met up again in Tyler. The ignoring thing was set in stone.
By then, Phoenix was focused on his phone. He checked it at least twenty-five times a day to see if Ms. Henshaw had called. He thought of calling her but decided against that. He’d just wait in la-la land until the big moment.
In Tyler, Phoenix drew a bull called Buster, named because he busted cowboys’ scores. Paxton had ridden two rides ahead of him on Rough Stuff and had scored an eighty-six.
The bull was in the chute, snorting and angry, but the chute held him tight. It was time to ride. Phoenix adjusted the chaps that Jude had made for him and then worked on his spurs. Paxton was known for his red shirts, but Phoenix was known for his colorful plaid shirts. His protective vest was black, and he slipped his arms into the holes and got comfortable in it.
When he heard his name, he walked to the chute, climbed up and checked his bull rope. The stench of bull and urine filled his nostrils. At this point his stomach started to churn, and it took a moment for the feeling to subside. The stands were full tonight with eager, noisy fans. The bright lights beamed onto the arena. A hush came over the crowd as he eased on to the back of the huge, muscled, angry bull, who snorted and moved restlessly. Phoenix felt the enormous power beneath him, sucked air into his lungs and adjusted the braided bull rope to get the feel that he needed. With his glove on, he worked his hand into the handle on the rope.
Pax was on the chute to help him. “Have you got a good grip?”
“I got it.”
This is for you, Dad. He said that to himself before every ride.
He raised his left arm and nodded. The gate flung open, and Buster jumped head-down into the arena, kicking out with his back legs and going into a spin. Phoenix held on, his mind whirling as he counted in his head. Eight seconds always felt like thirty. He maintained his position, even spurring the bull so he would jump higher. At the buzzer he leaped off, stumbled and rolled toward the fence. The bullfighters had Buster headed toward the open gate.
He got to his feet, picked up his hat and waited for the score. Eighty-five. Damn. He’d expected it to be higher. That was the nature of riding.
The rodeo came to an end on Saturday night. Paxton and Phoenix placed first and second. It had been a long season and they would finish out in October before Vegas, just to keep practicing and maintaining their skill. They’d worked a lot of years to get to this point. It could all go wrong in a second, though.
At the arena, the cowboys were packing up, getting ready to move on to another rodeo. Eden, their brother Falcon’s daughter, had joined them. She was in college, but she barrel-raced occasionally.
“Hey, y’all going out to party tonight?” Cole Bryant, another bull rider, asked.
“You bet,” Paxton told him. “We’re taking Eden out for the evening.”
“If Eden’s going, then I’m coming, too.”
Phoenix threw an arm across Cole’s shoulder. “You touch my niece and I’ll have to hurt you.”
Cole held up his hands. “Okay. I got it, but why don’t you let her make up her own mind?”
“And why don’t I just punch you in the face?”
“Come on, guys.” Paxton got between them. “It’s Saturday night. Let’s have some fun.”
Eden, pretty as a picture with dark hair and green eyes, walked up. “Where are we going tonight?” She wiggled her hips. “I’m eager to dance, especially with my uncs.”
Rosemary strolled by, leading her horse and not casting an eye their way. There was just something about her that drew Phoenix’s attention. A sadness that he could feel, which was crazy. He must have hit his head in the arena.
“One of these days, I’m going to ride as good as her,” Eden said.
Before anyone could respond, Phoenix’s phone buzzed. He pulled it out of his pocket and froze as he saw the name. Ms. Henshaw. “Excuse me. I have to take this.” He walked to the fence and leaned against the pipe railing.
“Ms. Henshaw?”
“Mr. Rebel, I have news for you.”
“You have the results from the DNA test?”
“Yes.”
He sucked in a deep breath as if he was going to ride the meanest bull in the world. “What are they?”
“You’re the father. Ninety-nine point nine, and that’s as close as you can get. There’s no doubt.”
He slid down the fence like a drunk who’d had one too many. Sitting there on the ground, with the smell of the manure and the animals of the rodeo around him, he suddenly knew his life had just changed. Fun-loving Phoenix would be no more. He had to be a responsible, mature adult now. He had to be a father.
“Mr. Rebel, are you there?”
“Yes, ma’am.” Off in the distance, he could see the moon casting a beam that seemed to guide him toward the future, whatever that might be. But it would include a little boy named Jake.
“Did you mean what you said that day I met with you at your home?”
“What was that?”
“That you would take responsibility.”
Phoenix closed his eyes, and in his mind he could hear his father’s voice. Always take responsibility. Like Jude and Falcon, who had also become fathers unexpectedly, he would never do anything to dishonor his father. “Yes, ma’am. I will take responsibility for my son. What do I do now?”
“Are you sure about this? The CPS worker in Denver told me she has two couples who want the little boy.”
All the doubts in his mind vanished. “No. Jake belongs to me, and I will take full responsibility for him. What do I have to do?”
“Tomorrow is Sunday, but I’ll meet you in my office in Austin in the morning. Jake needs to be with his family as soon as possible. I will give you the papers you’ll need and you will fly to Denver. Make plane reservations as soon as you can. There will be a hearing before a judge on Monday morning. Valerie Green’s maternal rights will be terminated and you will be granted full custody. The CPS worker there will meet you and you can visit with Jake. After the hearing, you can bring him home and he will be legally yours.”
“I can do that. Give me the address of your office. Oh, wait. I don’t have a pen. Just text it to me.”
“Okay. I will also text a list of things you will need for the little boy, like a bed, diapers, milk and such. Have you ever been around children?”
“Yes, some of my brothers have children. So I do have some experience.”
“Very good. I will send you a text in case you want to pick up some things tonight, and I will see you tomorrow.”
“Thank you, Ms. Henshaw.”
He sat there in the warmth of the night, staring at his phone. He didn’t have to wait any longer. He was Jake’s father. How could that be? How could he also not know about it? How could he be so irresponsible? A lot of his family members could answer that before he could snap his fingers. Yep, he was about to pay for his upbringing.
Paxton and Eden came over. “What are you doing sitting there on the ground?” Paxton asked. “Let’s go.”
“I have to go home.”
Paxton and Eden stared at each other, and then they sank down beside him. “Should I say congratulations or I’m sorry?” Paxton grimaced.
“I’m not sure,” he admitted. “But I’m that little boy’s father, and now I have to live up to the title.”
Eden put her arm around his shoulders. “You’re going to make a great father. You’re a big kid yourself.”
“I feel as if I’ve aged ten years in five minutes.” He tried to get to his feet and realized his legs were shaky. This was harder than any fall he’d ever taken. He felt bruised, weak and disoriented.
Once on his feet, he said, “I’m going home tonight. I have to make arrangements for tomorrow. But you guys stay and party.”
“No way.” Eden hugged him. “We’re all going home. We’re family.”
Phoenix didn’t have any strength to argue. His mind was solely on his son and the days ahead. How would he handle this new development in his life? He wasn’t known for maturity.
They loaded up and headed out, Eden leading with her truck and trailer. Paxton drove and Phoenix made plane reservations on his phone. He got a flight to Denver at eleven in the morning. That didn’t give him much time to meet with Ms. Henshaw, but he wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight anyway, so he would be there early.
Ms. Henshaw’s text came through and he just stared at all the things that he needed to buy. Diapers. He had a weak stomach. How was he going to change diapers? This was a situation where he really had to cowboy up.
They didn’t talk much on the drive home. Phoenix’s thoughts were all turned inward. He wasn’t a worrier by nature, but worries jabbed at him like the fists of a prizefighter. Would he make a good father? He had to. It wasn’t a question. It was fact now.
He leaned back his head and tried to sleep. But all he could think about was that little boy who was crying for his great-grandma. A little boy who had been let down by a reckless, immature father. And an equally reckless, immature mother. Phoenix had to make up for all of that.
It was a three-hour drive, and Phoenix had never been so glad to see the ranch. In the wee hours of the morning, they drove up to the barn. After unloading her horse, Eden went toward her parents’ house, and Paxton and Phoenix walked toward the bunkhouse.
On the way, Phoenix kept thinking about the list on his phone. He needed to have those things here when he brought Jake home.
“I’m going into Temple to buy a baby bed.”
Paxton stopped on the porch of the bunkhouse, his eyebrows knotted together in confusion. “What? Where can you buy a bed at this time of the morning?”
“Walmart Supercenter. They’re open twenty-four hours.”
“Don’t you think you need to rest?”
“I won’t be able to sleep until I can bring Jake home where he belongs.”
Paxton sighed. “Okay. I’ll go with you.”
Phoenix shook his head. “I don’t need you to go with me. I can buy a bed all by myself. Just go to sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Phoenix...”
He looked at the brother he’d spent most of his life with and saw the concern and worry in his eyes. “I’m struggling. Okay.” He was as honest as he could be because he couldn’t be anything else at this point. “I have to be there for that little boy. Do you understand?”
Paxton nodded, and Phoenix headed for his truck. Shopping early in the morning meant there was hardly anyone in the store. Clerks were stocking shelves and a few people were strolling around. He found the baby section and stared at all the clothes and paraphernalia. Where were the baby beds? He found them on another aisle. Again he just stared. What kind did he need? Maybe he should’ve brought Paxton. At least the two of them could have figured out something. But this shouldn’t be difficult. A bed was a bed.
Or so he’d thought. They came with or without a mattress and in numerous colors from white to espresso to black. In different styles. His head began to spin. Clearly he needed help.
He turned to search for a clerk and ran into someone. “Oh, sorry. I wasn’t looking where I was going.” He caught the woman’s arm and just stared, unable to believe his eyes.
Rosemary McCray Wilcott stared right back at him with a look of shock that was echoed in his eyes.
What was she doing in Walmart at this time of the morning?
Chapter Three (#ulink_086ddfc8-c442-50fa-8075-7f59a9a3256a)
“Uh...”
Rosie was stunned, and she could neither speak a coherent word nor move. The last person she’d expected to run into in Walmart was Phoenix Rebel. It took a full thirty seconds for her to regain her cool. In that time she was very aware of the hand holding her elbow. The firm, callused fingers were gentle and comforting, and that threw her more than seeing him. She didn’t want to feel anything for this man. Very slowly she removed her elbow and licked her suddenly dry lips.
She’d come in the store only for a few minutes because she was out of Dixie’s treats. The dog would whine and whine until she got them. Also, Rosie had received some unsettling news and couldn’t sleep anyway. She rented ten acres with a barn and corral, where she parked her trailer. Mrs. Boyd, the owner, had called and said her daughter was moving back home and was thinking of building a house on the property. That meant Rosie would have to find another place to park her trailer and another home for Lady. Her lease was up at the first of the year so that gave her a few months, but she’d been hoping to buy the place herself one day. Now she had to change her plans.
Whenever she was in Walmart, she couldn’t resist strolling to the baby section. It was gut-wrenching, but cathartic in a way for her loss of her little girl. One day, maybe, she could stop reliving the painful memories.
“I’m sorry. Did I hurt you?” Phoenix asked.
His strong tones brought her back to the present and the embarrassing situation. “No.” She made to walk off because she had nothing else to say to him.
“Hey.”
Against her better judgment, she looked back. “Am I taking up too much space?”
“I deserve that.” The corners of his mouth lifted in a cockamamy grin, which she was sure worked wonders on the opposite sex. To her dismay it was working on her, too.
She’d never seen a more handsome cowboy than Phoenix, and she hated that she noticed. In tight Wranglers, boots and a plaid shirt, he was every girl’s dream. The strong, carved facial bones that showcased a perpetual smile only added to the masculine mix. As did the Stetson and the riot of dark hair that always peeped out from under it.
“I’m really sorry for being rude in Oklahoma. I was having a very bad day.”
The apology put a dent in her already shaky composure. Walk away. Walk away. The words kept running through her mind, but her feet wouldn’t move as she stared into his dark eyes. Dark, warm, smiling eyes.
“I’m looking for a baby bed, and I could really use some help. Are you up for the job?” He tilted his head slightly, and the teasing light in his eyes did a number on her control.
Again, against her better judgment, she asked, “Why would you need a baby bed?”
“Well, you see, I just found out I’m a father.”
“Oh.” His honesty threw her, and her curiosity spiked. “And you get to be a weekend father?”
“No. Full-time.”
“You’re getting custody of a baby?”
The light in his eyes turned up a notch. “Yeah. Go figure.”
She gave up trying to make herself leave. He needed help with baby stuff, and there was nothing she would love more. It would hurt. But she just loved the punishment, she supposed.
“Girl or boy?”
“Boy.” He gave a thumbs-up sign.
“You must be excited.” At that, her guard went down so far she could no longer see it.
Suddenly a look of resignation crossed his face. “I would be lying if I said I was excited out of my mind. It’s been a shock and I’m trying to adjust. He’s twenty-five months old.”
She could have said a lot of petty things about the cowboys and the buckle bunnies around the rodeo, but she saw the hurt in his eyes. “Is the mother out of the picture?”
“Yeah. She left the boy with her grandmother and the grandmother has passed away. CPS tracked down the father, which happens to be me.”
Rosie didn’t know what else to say. It had to have been a big shock, and he seemed to be taking it well. She glanced at the row of baby beds. “If he’s twenty-five months old, you probably need something you can convert into a toddler bed.” She pointed to a box that had a picture on it. “See, there’s one. It goes from baby to toddler.”
“That looks perfect.”
She walked over to several boxes. “There are different colors. Maybe dark chocolate or warm honey. Which do you prefer?”
“Warm honey. Every time.”
She ignored the hidden reference to her in his voice. But it made her very aware of her attire: sweatpants, flip-flops and an old T-shirt. Her long hair was loose, and she brushed it away from her face in a nervous gesture. “They...they’ll probably have to load this into your truck, so it probably would be best to just take a picture with your phone and show them at checkout.”
“Now, see, that’s why women are best at this. They cover all the angles.” He took a quick photo and then looked at something on the phone. “I have to get a car seat, and she gave me the brand name.”
“She?”
“The CPS worker.”
“Oh. And you’ll need sheets, too.”
He looked at his phone again. “She didn’t say anything about sheets.”
Men! “Are you going to let him sleep on the bare mattress?”
That smile was back in place and it was lethal. “Okay, sheets it is.”
“They’re in the next aisle.” He followed her around the corner with his cart. They looked like a normal couple out shopping early in the morning. But they would never be a couple. “Here they are.” She squatted to glance through them. “There are ones with duckies, horses, dogs and...”
“Horses.”
“And cartoon characters...”
“Horses.”
“Oh, look at these John Deere ones.”
“Horses.”
“And there are solid colors...” She held up her hand before he could say the word. “I know—horses.”
“Well, he’s my kid and I like horses so he’ll like horses.”
She pulled three sets off the shelf. “You are in for a what-have-I-gotten-myself-into moment.” She stood and handed him the sheets.
Placing them in the cart, he asked, “Why do I need so many?”
“Think, cowboy. It’s a baby and babies pee. A lot. So you need extras in case of an accident.”
He reached down and grabbed two more.
After that, he followed her around the store and listed off everything on his phone. His cart was stacked high with diapers. There wasn’t room for one more thing. Actually he couldn’t even see over it.
And then they were in the toy section because he wanted to get a toy for the baby. As she walked by all the baby dolls her throat closed. It had been almost nine years and still the pain was as raw and new as the day they’d told her that her baby was dead. She stopped and stared at a doll with reddish-blond hair and couldn’t look away. She was trying not to remember. Not to feel. Not to act like a complete fool.
“I don’t think he’ll like that.” Phoenix’s words brought her out of her trance. She didn’t quite make it on the fool part because she felt sure he thought she was crazy.
“Boys play with dolls.” She tried to cover up the embarrassing moment.
“Not my boy.”
“Oh, please. Don’t tell me you’re going to be one of those fathers.”
He walked past her to the boy section, ignoring her words. “Now we’re talking.” He picked up a truck and trailer with horses. “My kid will love this.”
“You know, you’re under the impression this little boy is going to be just like you. Sometimes it doesn’t turn out that way. I’m not an expert, but I’m right on this.”
He didn’t fire any heated words back at her. He just stared down at the truck and trailer in his hands. “Yeah. I know nothing about the kid, but I hope I find a part of me in him.”
“You haven’t met him?” She couldn’t hide the shock in her words.
“No. I’m flying out to Denver tomorrow to pick him up and to meet him.”
She had no words and she wanted to ask questions, but she felt it was time to put an end to this unexpected interlude. She didn’t want to get involved in his life, and she didn’t want to know any more about him and his son.
“I have to go. I wish you the very best with your little boy.”
He looked into her eyes, and once again she felt the warmth all the way to her heart. “Thanks. May I call you Rosie?”
She shook her head. “You and I will never be on a first-name basis. Tonight was just a time out of time that neither one of us expected and will never be repeated. You know the reasons why.”
“Come on. That’s not fair. You’re not even a McCray anymore.”
“I was born a McCray and I will always be a McCray.”
“I might need more help...”
She wasn’t falling for that again. “Goodbye. I’ll see you around the rodeos.” Walking away, she felt something she couldn’t quite describe. Being lonely was just a part of her, but tonight, for a brief moment, she’d felt something special with a man she didn’t even like. She’d felt like a woman again. It was hard to describe since all they’d done was talk. Phoenix Rebel probably didn’t even want the child, but she had to admire that he was making the best of it. She would never be lucky enough to get a chance at having another child. The rest of her days, she would spend alone. But tonight she felt the wonder of it all because she couldn’t resist his dark, warm eyes.
* * *
IT WAS ALMOST 3:00 a.m. when Phoenix drove into the yard at the bunkhouse. He left everything in the truck and went inside. The door was never locked and he didn’t think anyone had a key. He was dog-tired and needed sleep. After removing his boots and belt, he fell across the bed and welcomed the blackness of his mind. But a face was there that he couldn’t shake.
Rosemary McCray’s.
He was just so shocked to see her, and when she actually melted a little and helped him, he got lost in her feminine presence. She had to be the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. For those cowboys who called her Frosty, all he could say was, tough luck. They never saw her with her blue eyes sparkling and her hair all around her. Tonight it was loose, not a band, ribbon or anything in it. In his mind, he could see her that way when she went to bed. In nothing but her hair. Oh yeah, he could get lost in that dream. Or maybe a fantasy, because that was all Rosemary McCray could ever be to him.
She’d told him so.
* * *
PHOENIX WOKE UP at 5:30 a.m., showered and changed clothes. Today he put on a white shirt because it was a special occasion. He was going to meet his son.
Jericho, a ranch hand who lived with Phoenix and Paxton in the bunkhouse, was in the kitchen, cooking breakfast. “Just in time,” he said.
Phoenix grabbed a glass of orange juice. He had OJ first thing every morning. It was a ritual for him, and he always carried a large carton on the road. Stuffing bacon into a biscuit, he said, “This is all I have time for. I have to go over to the house to see Mom.”
He thought about the supplies in his truck and he quickly unloaded everything into his room. Rico helped him with the bed. Rico never asked any questions, and Phoenix loved that about the man. He never interfered with other people’s business, and he didn’t judge anyone.
“I’ll have to put it together when I get back.”
“It will be done when you bring the boy home,” Rico said.
Evidently Paxton had told Rico about Jake. And now he had to tell his mother.
“Thanks, Rico. I appreciate that, but you don’t have to.”
“No problem.” The older man shook his head. If Phoenix had to guess the man’s age, he would have said somewhere in his late thirties. A scary figure to some, with his long, dark hair tied into a ponytail at his neck and a scar slashed across his face from gang fighting in Houston, he was the best friend the Rebel family ever had. He would do anything for them and they would do anything for him, too.
* * *
QUINCY’S TRUCK WAS at their mother’s. That surprised Phoenix because his brother usually spent his Sunday mornings with his wife, Jenny. As he opened the back door, he heard voices. Quincy and Grandpa were drinking coffee and eating breakfast. Jude and his new wife, Paige, and their son Zane lived in the house. But no one else was up yet.
Every time he stepped into this warm kitchen, he thought of his dad and felt at home. At peace. And then the sadness would creep in like a thief in the night, threatening to steal away those emotions. But all he had to do was look at the kitchen his dad had painstakingly built for his mother, from the large tiles on the floor to the knotty pine cabinets to the dark granite with a touch of red. His dad had given special attention to detail here, just as he had with the raising of his sons. He’d taught them so much, and yet there was still so much to learn. But he wasn’t here anymore, and Phoenix never felt that more deeply than today. He would take full responsibility for his child not only because he wanted to but also because his dad would have expected it of him.
He cleared his throat. “Morning, everyone.”
His mother turned from the stove. “Phoenix, I didn’t expect you this early. You and Paxton don’t usually come in until late Sunday. Sit down. I’ll get you a cup of coffee.”
“No, thanks. I’ve already had breakfast.” He glanced at his brother and Grandpa. “Why are y’all up so early?”
“I got up early to fix Grandpa’s breakfast and then decided to come over and eat with Mom,” Quincy explained. Elias, another brother, lived with Grandpa and usually spent Saturday nights down at Rowdy’s beer joint. Grandpa was getting a little senile, and they refused to let him use the stove anymore since he almost burned the house down twice. Elias usually looked after Grandpa unless he went out for the evening. Then Quincy took up the slack because he was a big mother hen to everyone.
Quincy eyed Phoenix’s starched shirt. “Where are you going all dressed up at this hour?”
Phoenix looked down at the hat in his hand and saw no reason not to tell the truth. “Ms. Henshaw called and had the DNA results. I’m the father and I’m going to Denver to pick up my son.”
“What? When did you get this news?” his mother asked with a lifted eyebrow.
“Last night.”
“And you’re just now telling me?”
“I didn’t want to do it over the phone. Besides, I had a lot of things to do like buying stuff that Jake will need. I left it all in my room, but I’ll sort through it when I come back.”
His mother removed her apron. “I’m going with you. You’ll need a woman to help you.”
“No.” Phoenix held up his hand. “I’m going alone. This is my child and I will handle it. I don’t need help.”
“Now that’s just silly, Phoenix.”
Quincy stood. “I’ll go. Someone needs to be with you. I’ll run home and tell Jenny.”
“I’m only going to say this one more time. I’m going alone. I do not need anyone to hold my hand. I’ve accepted that Jake is my son, and we need time to bond.”
They stared at him with shocked eyes, and he supposed he did sound grown up. He’d finally made that transformation, and he wasn’t sure if he liked it or not. He’d rather have been joking and teasing everyone. But those days were in his past now.
“Proud of you, boy. You’ve become a man.” Grandpa took a sip of his coffee. “Do you remember when your dad had the girls and sex talk with you boys?”
“Of course.”
“Well, then, I would just like to know where you, Jude and Falcon were during his delivery because, obviously, you didn’t hear a word. Were y’all hiding in the closet or something?”
“Abe, for heaven’s sake, eat your breakfast.” His mom was quick to chastise their grandfather. The two barely tolerated each other, something that had been going on ever since Phoenix could remember. It was hard on all of them, but they adjusted to the tension between their mother and their grandfather.
“Condoms are not one hundred percent safe,” Phoenix said.
Grandpa took another sip of coffee. “Now, I could tell some stories about that.”
“Later, Abe.”
Grandpa glared at their mother, and Phoenix thought it was time for him to leave. “I’ll call when I’m headed home.”
“When will that be?” his mother asked.
“I’m hoping late Monday, but like I said, I will let you know. See y’all later.” He headed for the door, and his mother followed him.
“Son...”
His brothers said that Phoenix was the favorite because he was the baby, and he realized for the first time today that they were right. His mother was having a hard time letting go. He didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but he had to be blunt.
He looked into her worried brown eyes. “I’m okay, Mom. Please understand I have to do this alone.” He hugged her briefly, kissed her cheek and walked out the door to the new life that awaited him.
* * *
HE MADE IT to Austin in time to meet with Ms. Henshaw, and they went over the legalities of the situation and what he was to expect in Denver. Then he was on his way to the airport. The two-hour flight wasn’t bad, but it seemed to drag. He was eager to get there and to meet the boy who would now become part of his life.
Besides Jake, thoughts of Rosie occupied his mind. She was so different last night. Lovable and likable were words that came to mind. He couldn’t stop thinking about her and wondered where she lived. Probably close to Temple, where the Walmart was. What did it matter? He and Rosie had no future. He had enough to deal with without getting involved with a McCray. He’d told himself that many times since the encounter in Oklahoma, but his thoughts always winged back to her.
There was something about her expression when she was staring at the doll. Sadness mixed with a resignation she was trying to hide. He sensed she wanted to reach out and touch it and she was forcing herself not to. Why was she so mesmerized by the doll? There had to be a reason, and against every sane thought in his head, he wanted to find out why.
The plane landed at the Denver airport and his focus turned to Jake. The way it had to be.
Rosie McCray was just a passing fantasy.
Chapter Four (#ulink_6a5f74a1-a40f-53bd-9e0d-9d386b5663b6)
After landing at Denver International Airport, Phoenix called the number Ms. Henshaw had given him. Ms. Bauer, the Colorado CPS case worker, picked him up outside the terminal. She was much younger than Ms. Henshaw, somewhere in her thirties, with a friendly smile. Her blond hair was pinned back, and her blue eyes reminded him of someone else. He wondered if Rosie was thinking about him as much as he was thinking about her. Probably not.
Phoenix always enjoyed the Mile High City. Because of its elevation, some cowboys had breathing problems here, but Phoenix never did. The weather was a pleasant eighty degrees, and Ms. Bauer said it would get down into the low forties by morning. It was nice compared with the heat he’d left behind in Texas. They passed the stadium where the Denver Broncos played. Phoenix had almost forgotten football season had started.
Ms. Bauer drove to the foster home where Jake was staying. It was in a nice residential area with small brick houses. She parked behind an SUV in the driveway.
“Jake is a sweet little boy, but he has some problems,” Ms. Bauer said before getting out of the car.
“What do you mean?”
“You have to understand that he’s grieving. We’re all very patient with him. There are four other kids in the house, and he hits when he doesn’t get his way. ‘No’ is his favorite word. He’s also a runner.”
“A runner?”
“Yes. If he can get a door open, he’s gone. Mr. and Mrs. Devers are in their late fifties, and it’s hard for them to catch him. Tom, Mr. Devers, has put latches high on the doors so he can’t get out. We think he’s searching for his great-grandmother, and we believe he will settle down once he’s in a stable environment again.”
Phoenix hoped so, too. It was just like Rosie had said. He was in a what-have-I-gotten-myself-into kind of moment. But he would stand by his kid no matter what. He unfolded his body from the compact car.
“Since the Devers have four other children, we have to respect their privacy.”
“Of course. I just want to see my son.”
They walked up to the front door, and Ms. Bauer rang the bell. It opened to a middle-aged woman with graying brown hair holding a baby.
“Oh, Ms. Bauer, it’s good to see you. Come in.”
Phoenix followed Ms. Bauer into a large living area cluttered with toys. Through double windows he could see two older boys playing in the backyard. But his eyes were riveted on a little boy and a little girl sitting on the carpet playing with trucks.
“Mrs. Devers, this is Mr. Rebel, Jake’s father.”
The woman juggled the baby onto her shoulder and shook his hand. “It’s nice to meet you. Jake really needs someone. He’s been a handful crying for his greatgrandmother. He just seems very unhappy.”
Phoenix twisted his hat in his hand. “May I go over and speak to him?” It seemed odd asking to speak to his own son. He was willing to follow the rules, though.
“Sure. Just don’t be surprised if he doesn’t respond.”
“I’ll wait here,” Ms. Bauer said.
Phoenix placed his hat on the arm of the sofa, walked over and squatted beside the boy and the girl. At that moment the little girl took the truck from Jake and he shouted, “No!” and yanked it back. “Mine,” he added.
Phoenix had no idea what to say. Words were useless. He would be just another person saying something Jake didn’t understand. He had to go with his gut feeling. The problem was, his gut was saying, Run like hell. But he stayed rooted to the spot because when he’d said he’d take responsibility, he’d meant it.
Phoenix watched his son. Even thinking the word son seemed foreign to him, but he would adjust. Jake’s little hands clutched the truck. His dark hair was tousled across his forehead. He needed a haircut. He wore pull-up pants and a T-shirt, and his feet were bare. Phoenix stared at his toes. Phoenix’s toes were shaped the same way—slanted. It was a small thing, but maybe it was what he’d been looking for, a clue to show him this little boy was his.
The girl grabbed the toy again, and Jake hit her. “No!” Jake shouted.
Without thinking, Phoenix grabbed his hand before he could hit her again. “No. We don’t hit girls.”
Narrowed eyes glared at him, and Jake’s face scrunched into a frown.
Phoenix reached out, picked him up and then got to his feet, carrying him to the sofa. Sitting down with Jake on his lap, he waited for the frown to disappear. It didn’t.
“Do you know what daddy means?”
Jake pointed to the girl.
“She has a daddy?” he asked Jake, but Mrs. Devers answered.
“Yes, Allie has a daddy. He comes to visit all the time and is trying to gain custody of her and her older brother, who is playing outside. Jake knows what daddy means.”
Jake stared back at him, the frown not so intense now.
“I’m your daddy. Do you understand that, Jake?”
Jake’s eyes never wavered from Phoenix’s, but he didn’t say anything.
Phoenix touched Jake’s chest. “You’re Jake.” Then he touched his own chest. “I’m Daddy.”
The little girl came over. “Daddy.”
“No!” Jake shouted again. Yep, no was his favorite word.
“Allie, come with me.” Mrs. Devers quickly took her hand and led her into the kitchen. Jake scrambled down and picked up the truck and a stuffed brown-and-white dog with floppy ears that was lying on the floor. He came back and crawled onto Phoenix’s lap, the dog tucked under one arm and the truck in his hand.
“You like trucks?”
Jake nodded.
“I live on a big ranch and we have trucks, horses and cattle. Big trucks that you can ride in. Would you like to ride in a truck?”
Phoenix continued to talk about nonsensical things and Jake just listened. Finally, Jake rested against Phoenix’s chest, and Phoenix lost his breath at the emotions that filled him. Protective. Overpowering. Parental emotions that he hadn’t even known he possessed. He just wanted to make Jake’s world better and safer. He wanted Jake to be happy.
Mrs. Devers and Ms. Bauer walked over. Phoenix had lost track of time and he realized it was getting late.
“Mrs. Devers said if you’d like to spend the night with Jake, you’re welcome to. She can move the children around for the night. They love playing camp-out.”
“Thank you, but I don’t want to put you out.”
“It’s no problem,” Mrs. Devers said. “It’s important that Jake bonds with you before you take him home.”
It was settled. Tom Devers came in from the grocery store, and Phoenix met him. It was a lively bunch when the kids all came to the table. Jake was very quiet, sitting in his high chair. He kept looking at Phoenix.
Later, he gave Jake a bath while Mrs. Devers watched and gave instructions, which he was glad about because he wanted to do the right things.
“I have a weak stomach,” Phoenix admitted as he put a diaper on Jake.
“Then you need to do it fast, like bull riding.” She grinned at him. “Yeah, I did some checking on you. I always do that when parents take kids from my home. I want to make sure they’re well taken care of. Jake is still on a bottle, and he needs to be weaned from it soon and potty trained. Mr. Rebel, you have your work cut out for you.”
Phoenix was going to have to learn to do a lot of things besides bull riding and ranching. They wouldn’t be pleasant, either. But he would learn. With Jake tucked into bed with his dog, which Phoenix learned was called Floppy, and his favorite blanket, Phoenix removed his clothes and slipped beneath the sheet on the twin bed. He thought he wouldn’t sleep because so much was crowding in on him about how his life was changing. But he fell into a deep sleep. The next thing he knew, a little hand touched his face.
“Dad-dy.”
Tears stung the backs of Phoenix’s eyes, and he pulled his son into his side, dog and all, and covered them with the sheet and blanket. He went to sleep holding his child, and it was the most natural feeling in the world. He would remember the moment for the rest of his life when his son had called him daddy for the first time.
A stench woke him and he knew what it was—Jake had a dirty diaper. Oh, man.
“Mr. Rebel,” Mrs. Devers called from the hallway, and Phoenix quickly slipped into his jeans.
“Yes, ma’am.”
Mrs. Devers appeared in the doorway. “Are you and Jake ready for breakfast?”
“Yes, ma’am,” Phoenix thumbed toward Jake in bed, who was looking at him with big eyes. “He got out of his bed this morning.”
“Oh, yeah. He climbs right out of it. That’s why Tom put latches on all the doors. You’ll have to do the same.”
“Okay.” He wrinkled his nose. “He has a dirty diaper.”
Mrs. Devers started pulling out things and laying them on the bed. “This is a plastic bag to put it in when you remove the diaper. Helps keep the smell down.” She pointed to a trash can in the corner. “That contains another bag you put the small bag in. You can get these anyplace that sells baby supplies. I will give you a few to get you started. You need to change the big bag every day.” She looked at him, and he realized she was expecting him to do something—like change the kid’s diaper. Oh, man.
“Hold your breath, Mr. Rebel. It will be over before you know it.”
He unsnapped Jake’s pajamas between his legs, and the smell made his stomach roil. He took another deep breath and undid the diaper tabs. The stench hit him square in the face. He was going to throw up. No! He was a cowboy. He was stronger than this.
Mrs. Devers handed him another diaper. “Put this over his little wee-wee so he doesn’t pee on you.”
Phoenix did as instructed.
“Take the top of the diaper and wipe down under his wee-wee.”
He did it quickly, trying not to breathe. She handed him a baby wipe, and he wiped Jake’s bottom clean and whipped another diaper under him and had it secured in seconds. He felt like raising up his arms in victory. He hadn’t thrown up. He’d done it.
The rest of the morning was a lesson in taking care of Jake, and Phoenix listened avidly. Soon Ms. Bauer arrived, and they left to go to the hearing to make Jake legally his. As he walked to the door, a strange feeling came over him, and he glanced back at Jake, who was playing with the little girl on the floor. He didn’t want to leave his child. The parenting thing was settling in. He could do this. He could be a father.
He arrived at the hearing to learn that he had a lawyer. Rather, the deceased Mrs. Green had a lawyer and was handling Jake’s case. The lawyer had a file he presented to the judge, which contained depositions from neighbors and people who knew Valerie. The judge asked Phoenix a few questions and then terminated Valerie’s maternal rights, and Phoenix gained full custody. It didn’t take long, but it seemed like a year had passed by the time he walked out of the courtroom.
They then went to the lawyer’s office. Phoenix found out that Mrs. Green had a small savings account, and it had been put in trust for Jake’s college education. He signed papers to become executor of the trust.
As Ms. Bauer drove them to Mrs. Green’s house, she told him Valerie had almost bankrupted the old lady. The woman had to sell her home to pay off credit cards and loan sharks. She then rented a small house for herself, where Valerie stayed from time to time when she had nowhere else to go. But her grandmother absolutely refused to give her any more money.
The house was very neat, and everything was in its place. Jake’s room was blue and white, and the bed was a warm honey color. Phoenix smiled at the sight. He almost took a picture to show Rosie. But Rosie would not be interested in seeing his son’s room. A sad thought that chased the smile away.
Ms. Bauer brought a big box, and Phoenix put in a lot of toys and things he thought Jake would need, mostly clothes. Then he found Jake’s baby book. He thumbed through it, eagerly watching his son grow in the arms of an elderly woman who clearly loved him. Tears stung the backs of his eyes. He put the album and other baby photos in the box and labeled it. They carried it to the post office to mail to Texas.
He had a flight out at five, so he had to hurry to get Jake and make it to the airport. Mrs. Devers had already packed Jake’s few belongings. He thanked the Devers for taking such good care of Jake and then lifted Jake into his arms and walked out the door. He’d thought Jake would cry, but he didn’t. After strapping Jake into the car seat in Ms. Bauer’s car, they were off to the airport.
Jake did well on the flight, even though they were delayed an hour. Phoenix finally gave him the truck and trailer and horses. He didn’t want to do that at the house because he didn’t have anything for the other children. After the plane took off, the stewardess allowed Jake to play with the toy set in front of the seat because they had the front row and there was a little room. Soon Jake grew tired, and he crawled onto Phoenix’s lap as if he had done it many times before.
Phoenix gathered him close. “We’re going to Texas, son. To a big ranch with horses, cows...”
“Horse,” Jake interrupted, holding up the toy in his hand.
“Yes, horse. You’ll meet your uncles, aunts, cousins, grandpa and grandma.”
“Ma Ma,” Jake looked around the plane, and tears filled his eyes when he didn’t see his great-grandmother. “Ma Ma.”
“No, another grand—” He was afraid to say the rest of it. He didn’t want to make Jake cry. “You see, I have a mother, and she will be another grandmother for you. Do you understand?”
Jake just stared at him with sad eyes. Of course he didn’t understand. That was okay. In time he would. Phoenix felt sure of that.
Jake sat in his lap and played with the horses. A smile touched Phoenix’s lips. Rosie was wrong. His kid liked horses. He would be just like Phoenix. He was going to enjoy telling her that.
He had a window seat and looked out at the fluffy clouds. He could walk on those clouds more easily than he could change Rosie’s mind about him. Too much bad blood between the families. But he sure liked her. And he was going to introduce her to Jake just as soon as he could.
Chapter Five (#ulink_7b0f3544-f08a-54c5-8796-54557376c834)
Rosie spent Sunday doing laundry. She’d installed a washer and dryer in the barn for convenience. One of these days, she would have a home with a washer and dryer in it. That was one of her goals for the future.
She then washed out the horse trailer and took care of the horses. She had two more mares that she rode occasionally, but Golden Lady was her favorite. When she was away from the circuit, she practiced and practiced because winning was her livelihood.
Soon she would have to look for another piece of land, which was too bad because she’d fallen in love with the tall oaks on this property, the quietness and the seclusion. Her closest neighbor was a mile away. Sometimes it was lonely and that’s when she got out and worked around the place. Then she was too tired to care.
There were electricity and water on the property, and that was a big plus. When she was at home, she plugged into the electricity and didn’t have to worry about the generator. She unrolled the awning over the door and had a table and chairs outside so it wasn’t so crowded. With the winter months coming it would be hard to eat outside.
Through the weekend she couldn’t get Phoenix Rebel out of her mind. She still couldn’t believe she’d run into him.
She fixed iced tea and carried it outside to the table. Dixie jumped up onto her lap and she stroked the small dog. Since it was Monday, Phoenix should be home with his son, and she wondered how he was coping. She tried to force those thoughts away, but they kept intruding like bugs at a picnic.
There was just something about him that she couldn’t ignore. Maybe it was his trigger-finger smile. Or maybe his never-give-up attitude. It was something and it was driving her crazy. She had to stop thinking about him.
She lived on a county road southeast of Temple, and it wasn’t far from the McCray property. So many times she’d wanted to go home just to see if her father had forgiven her, but she always resisted the urge because she knew Ira McCray never forgave anyone. Ever.
She didn’t know why she wanted to go home, because there was nothing there for her anymore. Her mother had passed away and her sister, Maribel, was nowhere to be found. Their father had kicked her out, because she’d gotten pregnant in high school, and Rosie was forbidden to have any contact with her. But now there was no man telling Rosie what she could or couldn’t do. Some day she would find her sister.
Her brothers had their own lives and thought little of Rosie and her predicament. They never offered her any help when their father insisted she marry a man twice her age.
Dixie jumped off her lap to chase a squirrel, her favorite pastime. The place had lots of squirrels in the big oaks. They played in the yard and munched on the acorns and it drove Dixie crazy. Dixie got lots of exercise when they were home.
Home.
The word had a nice ring to it. But would she ever feel at home again?
* * *
IT WAS LATE when Phoenix drove into the yard at the bunkhouse. He’d called his mother and told her she would have to wait until Tuesday morning to meet Jake because he was asleep. She didn’t like it. The family was coming at him from all sides. Quincy had called three times. Jude called. Paxton called. They all thought he couldn’t handle being a father and wanted to help. For some reason he didn’t want their help. He could do this alone.
He carried the diaper bag and Jake into the dark house, leaving the rest until morning. Quietly he made his way to his room and closed the door. Then he turned on the light. Jake was out, but he had to get him in his pajamas for the night. Changing a sleeping baby was an exercise in patience. It was like trying to dress a snake. Finally he had Jake tucked into the new baby bed. Jericho had set it up. Then he noticed a small chest of drawers in the corner and a trash can for diapers. His mother had been here. There was no doubt.
Phoenix sat on the bed, his elbows on his knees, his face in his hands. Was he doing the right thing? Could he take care of Jake? Could he be a good father? He was used to having fun and looking out for himself, and now Jake needed someone to be responsible for him. That was daunting to Phoenix, who never had much responsibility in his whole life.
He stood and brushed the hair from Jake’s forehead. “We’re in this together, son.”
With that thought in mind, he stripped out of his clothes and went to bed, ready to face the following day with family crowding in on him.
* * *
AFTER BREAKFAST THE next morning, Phoenix got his overnight bag out of the truck. He’d stuffed some of Jake’s clothes and toys inside. Their living quarters were going to be crowded from now on.
He gave Jake a bath and dressed him for the day in pull-up pants, a T-shirt and sneakers. He had to buy his son some jeans and soon. His son would wear jeans and boots.
Phoenix carried Jake into the living area to the toys he’d brought in. Paxton was on the sofa working on his bull rope. Jericho had left for work early.
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