Married...Again
Married...Again
Stephanie Doyle
The only thing she wasn't prepared for was life itself…Eleanor desperately loved her husband, Max Harper, but when he chose his research work over their marriage one more time, she had no choice but to file for divorce. She couldn’t know that his ship would go down in a storm in the North Atlantic. Two years later, she’s buried him in the past, launched a thriving business and even dating again. She's getting her life together and she's doing just great, she tells anybody who asks her. But she's absolutely not prepared for what—or who—is about to step into her mom's study next…
The only thing she wasn’t prepared for was life itself...
Eleanor desperately loved her husband, Max Harper, but when he chose his research work over their marriage one more time, she had no choice but to file for divorce. She couldn’t know that his ship would go down in a storm in the North Atlantic. Two years later, she’s buried him in the past, launched a thriving business and even started dating again. She’s getting her life together and she’s doing just great, she tells anybody who asks her. But she’s absolutely not prepared for what—or who—is about to step into her mom’s study next...
STEPHANIE DOYLE, a dedicated romance reader, began to pen her own romantic adventures at age sixteen. She began submitting to Harlequin at age eighteen and by twenty-six her first book was published. Fifteen years later, she still loves what she does, as each book is a new adventure. She lives in South Jersey with her cat, Hermione, the designated princess of the house. When Stephanie’s not reading or writing, in the summer she is most likely watching a baseball game and eating a hot dog.
Also By Stephanie Doyle (#u661cda67-d377-529b-b1bb-6732da84ea90)
Her Secret Service Agent
The Bakers of Baseball
The Comeback of Roy Walker
Scout’s Honor
Betting on the Rookie
The Way Back
One Final Step
An Act of Persuasion
For the First Time
Remembering That Night
Suspect Lover
The Doctor’s Deadly Affair
Calculated Risk
The Contestant
Possessed
Discover more at millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Married…Again
Stephanie Doyle
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
ISBN: 978-1-474-08104-7
MARRIED…AGAIN
© 2018 Stephanie Doyle
Published in Great Britain 2018
by Mills & Boon, an imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF
All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. This edition is published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, locations and incidents are purely fictional and bear no relationship to any real life individuals, living or dead, or to any actual places, business establishments, locations, events or incidents. Any resemblance is entirely coincidental.
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“Max! You’re not listening to me.”
“Eleanor, I’m hearing you loud and clear. Now you’re not listening to me. I don’t do threats. I don’t do ultimatums. I have a real opportunity to collect meaningful data that might help people really see what’s happening to our planet. I’m sorry but that’s more important than four months of our marriage.”
“No, Max,” she said sadly. “What you mean is that it’s more important than me.”
“Nor...”
She took a step away. “Stay safe.”
“I’ll see you in four months.”
She shook her head. “No. You won’t.”
He wrapped a hand around her neck and forced her to hold still for his kiss. Not that he ever had to force her to kiss him. Kissing Max Harper was her own particular addiction.
And this might be their last kiss.
Knowing that, she clung to him. Wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him everything that she was. Everything that she ever would be.
Until finally she couldn’t take it anymore and she pulled away.
When she did, she was crying. “I love you, Max Harper.”
“I know. Which is how I know I’ll see you in four months.”
Dear Reader (#u661cda67-d377-529b-b1bb-6732da84ea90),
Does anyone remember the TV show General Hospital? I used to love soap operas growing up as a kid. There was always that favorite character who “died”...which really meant he or she tried to get a job in a movie or a nighttime TV show. If that didn’t happen, he or she could always miraculously return in dramatic fashion as undead.
That germ was the basis for Max and Eleanor. A couple who truly loved each other, but it wasn’t enough to keep them together. However, when something life changing happens, it’s easy to see how priorities can shift.
I hope you root for this couple as much as I did while writing them.
I love to hear from readers, so you can find me at stephaniedoyle.net (http://stephaniedoyle.net).
Stephanie
Contents
Cover (#u82bb2882-7786-5b95-870c-2f5eca6a74cd)
Back Cover Text (#ub8766136-9f76-5b22-82d9-99dfff1e9da5)
About the Author (#u2a07bcf1-5c9f-57c2-be23-0bffcbabb98c)
Booklist (#u66498549-db6b-5a72-9dec-4a03dd373cb7)
Title Page (#u85599abb-6e00-5043-b247-2e17c6bb6025)
Copyright (#u2992e112-777b-593a-9b8e-5c3028a3f0ac)
Introduction (#u5c6d425b-c0d6-55f3-841d-2956435d2a34)
Dear Reader (#u960448eb-e6ce-5d7a-b3dc-0b3b3ee0b2cc)
Chapter One (#ua56ca7d9-4bad-5a8f-969e-43d4d0ca29b8)
Chapter Two (#u2bc534ab-b317-57c0-af0e-38566354f6f0)
Chapter Three (#uda63f299-6d86-5b73-996c-8cdc4e24b5ed)
Chapter Four (#u406dfb03-9ea1-56e5-a31f-2e152d8351a0)
Chapter Five (#uad7c47d2-78b9-58fa-ae31-27e8d8879f2b)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fifteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Sixteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seventeen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eighteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nineteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-One (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter One (#u661cda67-d377-529b-b1bb-6732da84ea90)
Trondheim Research Facility, Norway
“I CAN’T BELIEVE you right now,” Eleanor Harper shouted at her husband even as he walked down the stairs away from her.
“Nor, I’m not going to have this fight,” he said over his shoulder.
“No! No! You are going to have this fight. We are going to have this fight. Max, stop!”
He stopped at the door, his packed duffel bag slung over his shoulder. He turned to her, and she could see it in his expression. Before he even opened his mouth, she knew that he wasn’t going to back down.
That all the yelling and pleading and begging in the world wasn’t going to change this.
He huffed. “Nor! This is who I am. This is what I do. Do you get that? I’m an oceanographer who studies the impact of climate change on the ocean. This planet is dying one damn inch at a time. I have to do this work now. We’ve talked about this before. I thought I had your support.”
That wasn’t fair. This wasn’t about her not supporting his work. “You do have my support. You have all the support a wife should give to her husband, but where is my support? You dragged me to this research facility, and I said fine. I’ll go where you go. No questions asked. Then as soon as we get here you’re turning around and leaving me. For months at a time. I have no friends here, no family.”
Max rolled his eyes. “Oh, please, Nor, don’t sit there and tell me you’re pining away for your mother.”
“That’s not the point. Like it or not, she’s my mother. I miss my family. My sister. I miss my life back home. And none of that would matter if I had you. But now you tell me you’re leaving me again. Not for three months this time, but four months. That’s almost half of a year. I’m supposed to just sit around here and wait for you?”
Eleanor watched as he dropped the duffel on the floor beside him. Maybe she was getting through to him.
“It’s not fair, Max. It’s not, and you can’t tell me otherwise.”
He walked toward her and put his hands on her shoulders, pressed his forehead to hers.
So close she could smell him. She loved the scent of him. No matter how long he’d been on shore, to her he always smelled like the ocean.
“Nor, look at me. There are times you have to accept that some things are bigger than any one person. Bigger than any one relationship. Four months is nothing to us. A blip in our life.”
She shook her head and stepped out of his reach. “No, it’s four months this time. Then five months the next time. Then a year after that. It’s always going to be you needing to be on the ocean finding more and more data. Thinking you can prove that climate change is happening and suddenly everyone will listen to you.”
“Yes, Nor. The data I collect. It’s important. Not just for me but for everyone on this planet.”
“You have to make a choice. You have to choose. A life with me or a life on the ocean. But you can’t have both.”
He frowned. “Ultimatums? You’re sitting there, right now, issuing me an ultimatum. How crappy is that?”
Eleanor could feel tears welling up, but she worked hard to make sure her voice didn’t crack when she said it. “Max, do you love me?”
“With everything I am.”
She smiled sadly. Because it was true. It’s what she felt every day. But only when he was here. Only when he was with her. They had dated a mere seven months before he proposed. Before she accepted. Her mother had thought the proposal had come too soon. So much so that she refused to put together any kind of wedding until the two of them came to their senses and waited at least a year.
Giving Eleanor no option other than the obvious one. They’d eloped. To this day, almost three years later, her mother was still furious about it.
“We’ve been married nearly three years, and in that time we’ve only been together eighteen months. I can’t...I can’t...keep doing this.”
“Well, maybe it’s time you thought about your own passions.”
It felt like a slap of some kind. “What?”
“Look, I know it’s hard when I’m gone. It’s hard for me, too. You think I like spending my days with a bunch of other smelly scientists and rough sailors on the freezing cold Arctic Ocean? I like spending my days with you. I like spending my nights with my wife. I like screwing my wife. I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t think it was vitally important. So while I’m gone, maybe you need to find that thing, too. The thing you think is important.”
“I think you’re important,” Eleanor told him. Not sure why he was saying what he was saying.
“Nor, I can’t be the only thing in your life. That is not the woman I married. You’re not this clingy weak thing. You are Eleanor Gaffney. You’re the girl who shook off her small Nebraska town, who found a way to put herself through school. You were going to rule the world. What happened to that girl?”
You married her and took her to a research facility in northern Norway. Eleanor wanted to say those things, but it sounded pathetic in her own head. Then she did the only thing she could think of, the thing they had both talked about having.
“We talked about getting pregnant this year,” she said.
Another snort. “Really? You’re pulling the baby card?”
The sound of his disbelief made her furious. “A baby is not a card. It’s supposed to be about having family. It’s what we both talked about wanting. We talked about doing it this year!”
“Are you pregnant now?”
“No,” she told him.
“Then when I get back in four months, we’ll talk about this. But I mean it, Nor, you need to find out what you want to do with yourself, with your life. Because being my wife, and hell, being the mother to our future children, isn’t enough. You need something for you.”
“I studied business! What the hell am I supposed to do with that in Trondheim? Create an ice-selling business? Oh, I know! What about a new pickled herring recipe?”
He had the audacity to smile at her. “Are you going to kiss me goodbye? I’m running late as it is.”
Eleanor shook her head as it finally settled on her. The truth. He was leaving. He was leaving, and his answer to that was she needed to find a hobby that would occupy her time while he was away.
This was going to be her life. Watching him leave and waiting for him to come back. She hadn’t known that’s what it would be when she married him. She didn’t know that going in or she would have...
You would have married him anyway. Your mother was right. You’re too stubborn for your own good.
“I don’t think you understand what I’ve been trying to tell you. If you leave me, I’m leaving you.”
Eleanor watched as his whole body tensed.
Max shook his head. “You don’t mean it.”
“Look at me, Max.” Eleanor stood in front of him, and she knew in her heart she meant every word she said. It would take all her courage to leave him, but she would do it. “I love you. Like no one I’ve ever loved before. But I can’t spend my life doing this. Watching you leave. So it might break me, but if you leave, then I’m gone.”
“I’m not going to be brought to heel by my wife,” he snapped. “I’m not your damn dog.”
“I’m not trying to do that. I’m trying to save our marriage. You think love is enough.”
“It should be,” he shouted.
“It’s not. It’s about compromise and working together and finding a solution. It’s not about you telling me the day before, Sorry, babe, I need to leave for a while, and that while is four months.”
“The funding came though from Tom yesterday. I had no control over that. Or when the ship leaves. I told you that, too.”
“Max! You’re not listening to me.”
“Eleanor, I’m hearing you loud and clear. Now you’re not listening to me. I don’t do threats. I don’t do ultimatums. I have a real opportunity to collect meaningful data that might help people really see what’s happening to our planet. I’m sorry, but that’s more important than four months of our marriage.”
She swallowed as the words penetrated her skull. “No, Max,” she said sadly. “What you mean is that it’s more important than me.”
“Nor...”
She took a step away. “Stay safe.”
“I’ll see you in four months.”
She shook her head. “No. You won’t.”
He wrapped a hand around her neck and forced her to hold still for his kiss. Not that he ever had to force her to kiss him. Kissing Max Harper was her own particular addiction.
And this might be their last kiss.
Knowing that, she clung to him. Wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him everything that she was. Everything that she ever would be.
Until finally she couldn’t take it anymore and she pulled away.
When she did, she was crying. “I love you, Max Harper.”
“I know. Which is how I know I’ll see you in four months.”
Four months later
HE HADN’T BELIEVED HER. When she said she would leave him, he just couldn’t believe she would do it. They loved each other. Sometimes almost too much. It was a scary thing to know how vulnerable you were when you loved someone that much.
Which was why he hadn’t believed her when she said she would leave him.
Except the empty house told its own story. So did the people they were renting it from.
Mrs. Harper had left months ago. Right after he left on his trip.
The only thing waiting for him was a large brown envelope with the name of an attorney’s office in the upper left corner.
He wasn’t going to open it. He wasn’t going to see what she chose to throw away. He was going to do what he needed to do, then he was going after her.
He’d come home with a sick feeling of dread in his stomach. Not because he even entertained the idea that she would leave him. He looked at his life, his work as if he was at war. Against time, against the forces of nature and the forces of mankind. He was a soldier, and their marriage was like any other military marriage. One where he would need to be deployed from time to time.
So the feeling of dread he’d felt coming home was knowing he would have to tell her that he was turning around and heading out in a few weeks. The financing for yet another extension had come through.
He’d expected more shouting, more fighting. He’d thought he could power through all of that with some mind-blowing sex that would remind her of what they had. How incendiary they could be.
He’d thought wrong.
It didn’t matter. Max stared at the brown envelope with his name on it, then dumped it in the trash, unopened.
He would fix this. He would head out to sea for just a few more weeks, finish what he needed to finish, then he would go find her. Because there was no world he could live in where they weren’t together.
Nor was angry. She was hurt. He knew that. But he also knew he could fix both those things. One more trip, then they could move forward with their life together.
Three months later
“SELENA?” ELEANOR CALLED to her assistant. Selena had been the first official employee of Head to Toe, Eleanor’s start-up company. “The red or burgundy?”
Eleanor held the ties against the mannequin’s neck.
Selena assessed the outfit, then nodded. “The red.”
“I agree.”
The two were working in the space Eleanor had recently rented. It was an open loft area in downtown Denver that would be perfect as they continued to expand. Running Head to Toe out of her apartment just wasn’t practical anymore.
The business was a simple concept directed at busy single men. Head to Toe put together a complete outfit that would fit whatever need those men had. An outfit composed by women who knew what they were doing.
Don’t have a woman in your life who can tell you what tie to wear? What color looks best on you? That, no, that belt and those shoes don’t match. Try Head to Toe!
It had been the banner that ran along the top of the website, and, with the help of some targeted Facebook ads, orders had started to pour in. Business casual, formal, club scene and even the local bar look. They told Eleanor what they liked to wear, how they wanted to look, and Eleanor put together the perfect outfit for them. As the orders continued to come, she spent more time focusing on advertising. Now her market research was generating real results.
So much that, beyond the warehouse people she’d hired to handle shipping and Selena—whom she had hired a few months ago to help keep up with orders—Eleanor was now looking to expand further with a dedicated client service support team.
Which meant filling the loft with office furniture and computers.
A sign on the door.
Actually, she needed the door first.
It had become what felt like a 24/7 effort on her part, but she didn’t mind the work. Watching something grow under her efforts was one of the most satisfying things she’d ever done.
Beyond that, the constant workload stopped her from thinking about Max.
Most days.
She heard a hesitant knock on the doorframe, which outlined the entrance to the space. Eleanor assumed it was her next interview. She was looking for someone with experience who could help her grow both a design team as well as a customer service department.
While there were men out there who had no problem navigating the online site, some men had a harder time using the tools provided to get a sense of what their own personal style was.
They liked talking directly to Eleanor and Selena, but quite frankly, neither could keep up with the phone calls any longer.
Eleanor peeked around the mannequin, startled to find Harry. Her former father-in-law.
Or more accurately current father-in-law as Max had yet to sign the divorce papers. Eleanor assumed he was being stubborn, but she couldn’t imagine how that was supposed to be a strategy for him.
Any hope she’d had about their marriage had gone out the door when four months after she left him ticked by on her calendar and she hadn’t heard from him. Not even an irate call at some off hour because he’d be phoning her from Norway to tell her to go eff herself.
Instead, there had been only silence. Which hurt more than anything. Because it told her, more than all of his professions of love, that leaving her had been too easy for him. Where for her, if it hadn’t been for her idea for this business, she might have crawled into a hole and stayed there forever.
Maybe Harry had come as an envoy. With the papers. To put an end to the marriage finally.
Eleanor walked through the open loft to meet him. She’d seen both him and Sarah when she’d gotten back. She’d considered them her family, and it had been almost as devastating to tell them she was leaving as it had been actually leaving Max.
She knew they didn’t understand. She knew she’d hurt them. But Max had left her with no options.
“Hello, Harry.”
“Nor,” he said, using Max’s nickname for her. Max had always felt Eleanor was too regal, and since he was no damn king, he liked to call her by a name that was his and his alone.
It hurt, she thought. Even after all this time. Eleanor had lost her own father when she was just eighteen. Having Harry in her life had filled a hole that had been empty. Divorcing Max had brought back even that pain. The pain of not having that father figure in her world, who was always there with a ready hug to tell her everything was going to be okay.
“How is Sarah?”
He didn’t look good, Eleanor thought. He looked older than she remembered when it had been only a few months since she’d last seen him. Suddenly now, she was worried. Was someone sick?
“I don’t know how to tell you this,” he said gruffly. “So I’m just going to come out and say it. Max is...Max is gone.”
“Gone? What do you mean? Off on another assignment? I suppose I assumed that.”
Harry shook his head. “No. After he got back from the last assignment, he called us to tell us what happened with you two. We told him you had been by to see us and explain. He said they had gotten additional funding, and he was going to do another month at sea. That as soon as he got back he was going to come home to the States and fix things between you two. I told him he should do that now. I told him how serious you seemed about the whole thing. That you had said you wanted a divorce. But you know how stubborn he can be.”
She did. She knew exactly how stubborn he could be.
“The ship...it’s gone. They think it went down in a storm. They’ve been looking for weeks and weeks. But there is no communication and no sign of it on any radar. I just got a call from the university today. They told us at this point we have to assume there were no survivors.”
He stopped talking, and Eleanor took a second to process what he was saying.
Max was on a ship. The ship was gone. There were no survivors.
Max was dead.
It was the strangest thing she ever did, but she laughed. Actually laughed at her husband’s grieving father. She reached out and gently touched him on the arm.
“Oh, Harry, Max isn’t dead. He can’t be.”
She would know it if he was dead. She would feel it. Her plan in life was to hate Max Harper every day from now until the day she died. A lifetime of hating him for not putting her first. For not choosing correctly when he had a choice between his work or her.
A lifetime of it.
He couldn’t be dead.
“I’m sorry, sweetie. I know things didn’t end well between you two. Sarah and I were both so sad about that.”
“He’s not dead, Harry. I would know it.”
He nodded. “Sarah says the same. But we can only go by what the experts are telling us, and they have officially declared him dead. We’re going to hold a service, and we would appreciate it if you were there. No matter how you two ended, you were family. His and ours for a time.”
Harry patted her hand, then turned to leave. Eleanor shook her head, still not understanding what had happened. There was no way this could be right. No way she was going to lose Max.
Again.
She stumbled back to her desk in the center of the loft and pulled up her laptop.
“Eleanor? Everything okay?”
She ignored her assistant while she typed Max Harper Oceanographer in a Google search page.
And there it was on her screen.
Max Harper, renowned oceanographer and climate scientist, declared dead along with the crew of the ship the Savior.
She fell to her knees, and Selena immediately crouched on the floor next to her.
“Eleanor, what’s wrong? What’s the matter? Are you sick?”
No, she thought. I’m not sick. I’m dead.
Chapter Two (#u661cda67-d377-529b-b1bb-6732da84ea90)
Two and a half years later
“A TOAST! TO my lovely daughter and her fiancé. I, as I’m sure everyone here does, wish them the most happiness. And I know my dear husband, Frank, is smiling down on them from heaven.”
Eleanor looked at her mother in the center of the room and smiled even as she lifted her glass in the air. She glanced at her sister, Allie, and her fiancé, Mike, and was happy to see they seemed to be having a nice time.
The house was filled with family and friends for the engagement party. A party she knew Allie and Mike didn’t originally want, hoping to keep things as low-key as possible. They had just announced their engagement last week, and no sooner had that happened than Marilyn was planning the party despite Allie’s objections. However, Marilyn was insistent, and, in the Gaffney household, whatever Marilyn wanted, Marilyn got.
Whether her children felt the same or not.
The wedding was almost a year away, but Eleanor had already agreed to take time from her company to make sure she could attend all the various activities. Tonight was just the start. Eventually there would be a bridal shower, then the bachelorette party, the rehearsal dinner, all culminating in what Marilyn Gaffney was proclaiming would be the event of the season in the town of Hartsville, Nebraska, next June.
Given that the population of Hartsville was just a little over five thousand citizens, any wedding that happened in town usually was the event of the season.
“Some champagne?”
Eleanor turned at the sound of the voice behind her. Daniel, her date for the evening, held up two flutes. She gladly accepted one.
“Thank you. You may need to keep this coming.”
“You seem to be getting along with your mother,” he said in a lowered voice. “From everything you had told me on the drive here, I was expecting something a little more dramatic between you two.”
“I’m trying to do everything I can to avoid the drama. Mom and I are fine as long as I’m agreeing with her. It’s when I don’t that things become difficult. Take this party, for example. Completely unnecessary. We’re going to be seeing all these same people at the wedding. What’s the point of doing it twice?”
Daniel raised an eyebrow. “What’s the point of any party? To have fun.”
Eleanor looked at Allie and Mike again. They were still smiling, still chatting with the people around them. They looked like what they were. A couple in love. A couple who was excited about their future.
And Eleanor was happy for them.
All this wedding paraphernalia didn’t bother her. Not in the least. That’s what she was telling herself anyway, and she could be very convincing when she needed to be.
Still, she knew everything on the surface wasn’t always as it appeared.
“I know my sister. It’s going to be hard enough for her to be the center of attention for a day. To keep this up for the next year will be laborious. A wedding shouldn’t be that much work.”
“Speaking of weddings...do you like big ones or small ones? Just so I can get an idea.”
“Daniel,” she said with a soft sigh.
“I hate that sigh, you know. I was only teasing.”
Was he? It was hard to know with Daniel. He liked to call himself a man of action, and that was true. He was always very persistent in getting what he wanted. Much like her mother.
Like convincing her to go out with him when she’d refused him for months.
“This is only our second date. I think it’s a little too soon to talk about weddings, don’t you?”
He gripped his chest in mock pain. “What? You’re not counting all those lunches?”
“They were business lunches,” she reminded him.
“One woman’s business lunch, another man’s date.”
“So you’re saying you have no real interest in investing in Head to Toe?”
He sipped his champagne. “I wouldn’t say that exactly. No.”
“That’s what I thought,” Eleanor said smugly. “Daniel, I agreed to go out with you. I agreed to bring you here so you could meet my family. But you know where my head is right now. Head to Toe is getting bigger every day, and it has to be my number-one priority. I’ve told you my plans.”
“You have. Or you could turn those plans over to me and let them be my number-one priority. Then you could go back to focusing on...other areas of your life.”
Again, she thought he was teasing, but it was hard to tell. Their relationship had started when Daniel, an investment banker, had shown interest in the growth rate of her company located in Denver. He’d asked her out to lunch to discuss the idea of what a large cash infusion could mean. She’d rejected the idea at first, but then the idea to get ahead of the game by growing her company at an accelerated rate seemed compelling.
Which led to another lunch.
Which led to her thinking Daniel himself was rather attractive. It might have been the first time in years she had even registered a man’s appearance. That had to be a good thing, she told herself.
In the end, Daniel hadn’t swayed her with his pitch. Head to Toe was her baby, and a cash investment from someone else meant giving part of it away. Whereas, if she took a loan out for the money to expand, it would still be hers. One was riskier, but the other was tantamount to giving over part control of the business. She didn’t know if she was willing to do that.
Daniel, however, had not been willing to walk away, either.
She would have thought his interest was solely in the company until he surprised her on lunch number two by asking her out on a date. Of course, she said no, for any number of reasons. But he persisted until she got to that point where she realized there was absolutely no reason for her not to go out on a date with him.
He was an intelligent, handsome, sometimes funny man. She liked him. A date made sense. A date might make her normal again. Two years was a long time to grieve a marriage that she had chosen to end.
They’d had an elegant dinner. They had agreed not to talk about work.
It had been...nice.
So she’d asked him to come to this party with her. Only now, he was suggesting there was something missing in her life.
“And what areas would those be?”
“I don’t know. Maybe thinking about other things than your company. Other things you want in life. You were married once. Don’t you think about getting married again?”
Eleanor flinched. “I don’t like to talk about my marriage.”
Because it was hers. Her marriage. Her memories. And talking about Max...thinking about him hurt too much.
“I can see why this would be painful to discuss...”
“We are at a party,” Eleanor said, raising her glass to her lips trying to change the subject. “Didn’t you say something about it being fun?”
This time it was Daniel who sighed.
“Eleanor, you have to see that I care about you.”
Did she? Did she have to see that? After a bunch of lunches and two dates—the second one not even finished yet. They hadn’t even had sex yet. She didn’t want to think about how even the idea of sex with him made her feel.
Disloyal was the best word she could come up with.
“I only want what is best for you. I feel sometimes like I’m battling this ghost.”
“You’re not.”
“We haven’t talked about this. I’m not sure I know how you feel about children—”
Eleanor pierced him with a look that stopped that sentence. If she wasn’t comfortable talking about her marriage, then she certainly wasn’t comfortable discussing the subject of children with Daniel. Definitely not on a second date.
“There you are!” Marilyn proclaimed as she approached them. “You’re not mingling. Everyone is asking about you, but it seems no one is getting a chance to talk with you.”
For the first time in her life, Eleanor was happy to be admonished by her mother. Anything to get Daniel to stop talking about Max and babies.
“Sorry, Mom. Daniel and I were just having a conversation.”
Marilyn smiled and patted his arm. “Yes, yes. I’m very happy with your new young man, but you two can talk all you want when you’re back in the big city. For now, I would like my daughter to be available for her family.”
“Yes, of course,” Daniel said graciously. “We’ll make our way around the room.”
“That would be lovely. I do hope it’s not too inconvenient that we have you at the B and B in town. I know I’m old-fashioned. However, until a couple is married, I just don’t feel comfortable with them sharing a room—”
“Mom.” Eleanor had told her mother only that she was bringing someone she was currently seeing. She definitely hadn’t gone into detail about their sexual status. “It’s fine. Daniel is only staying for tonight. He has to head back to the city tomorrow.”
Her mother made a face as if the word city was distasteful. Probably because she associated Denver with Eleanor’s business, something else she found distasteful. Her mother still clung to the belief that a woman’s first priority should be securing a husband and having children.
Eleanor had done half of that and had failed. Since then she hadn’t been eager to repeat the experience.
Her business, however, was a nice replacement. Way less pain and heartbreak. More control and financial benefit. As far as Eleanor was concerned, if she never got married again, it wouldn’t be the most tragic thing to happen to her.
Because the most tragic thing had already happened.
Her mother was obviously not pleased by that attitude. It meant fewer grandchildren.
“Oh. Well, let’s hope you’re still in Eleanor’s life for the wedding.”
“I promise to do everything I can to make sure I’m back for that. In the meantime, this will be the first weekend Eleanor’s been away from her company in some time. I hope she has time for some relaxation.”
“Of course it will be relaxing,” Marilyn stated, turning to Eleanor. “She’ll be with family. Now, speaking of, your father’s sister and brother want to talk with you. I suggest you start with them. Since your father’s been gone, they claim to feel left out of your and your sister’s lives. I’m making every effort to change that with this wedding.”
Eleanor didn’t miss the emphasis on the word this. Five years later and she was still being punished for her elopement to Max. One would have thought, considering what she went through with his death, she might have been forgiven.
But her mother had a long memory.
“Yes, Mom. I’ll head over to them shortly.”
Marilyn left them, and Eleanor could hear her greeting some new guests as they came through the front door.
“She really does love to play the hostess,” Daniel noted.
“Yes, she does. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to make small talk with my family, so they can get as much gossip out of me as possible. Most of them want to know how much money I’m making. Truly, they are not even subtle about it.”
Daniel laughed. “I think I’ll stand in this corner and drink myself silly. Mike already promised he would drive me to the B and B.”
“Yes, poor Mike. He and Allie live together on his farm in North Platte, but now my mother is making him pay for a room. It’s so impractical. But Marilyn’s house, Marilyn’s rules.”
“Hmm,” Daniel said. “A strong-minded woman. Sounds like someone else I know.”
Eleanor gasped. “Are you comparing me to my mother? Daniel Reynolds. That’s grounds for murder!”
He laughed again. “I believe you have small talk to make.”
“I’m on it.”
Eleanor had no problem with mingling. Unlike Allie, Eleanor was used to being the center of attention every day at work. Daniel had been accurate. This really was going to be her first real break from the office since its inception almost three years ago. An office that had started with her, then Selena, now housed an IT staff, a customer service department, an advertising and sales department and a buying department comprised mostly of part-time, stay-at-home moms. Eleanor also had a bookkeeper, but now even Shelly was complaining she needed help to keep up.
Yet another hire. Of course that meant the company was growing, which was a good thing, Eleanor told herself.
The point was she dealt with dozens of people, of varying personalities, all day long. Working a room, making people feel comfortable, listening to them was all part of her daily routine. After an hour of small talk, she managed to find her way to Allie and Mike.
Allie’s smile was in place, but Eleanor could see the tension in her shoulders, the strain in her face.
“How are you holding up?” Eleanor asked.
“I’m fine. I’m great. This is amazing.”
“Allie, seriously? This is me you’re talking to.”
“Seriously. I figured out the best way to get through all of this is just to accept it. Mom wanted a party. Mom gets a party. Then in less than a year, after the actual wedding, all of this will be over.”
Eleanor could feel the anger rising. “Allie, your wedding isn’t something to get through. It’s supposed to be about what you want. What you both want?”
Mike chuckled. “Wait a minute. You mean I’m a part of this? That’s news.”
Allie rolled her eyes. “Mike. Please. I need you on my side. This is hard enough as it is.”
Mike, Eleanor thought, was the prototype of a Nebraskan farmer. Medium height, stocky, strong build. He wore a beard that he didn’t always maintain—much to Marilyn’s dismay—so it was hard to know if he was handsome or not.
Allie thought he was, though. Allie thought Mike was the single best man in the universe.
Eleanor knew because Allie looked at him like Eleanor used to look at Max.
“Allie, I’m on your side,” Mike told her. “Always. And I’m trying to do everything you’re asking. But Eleanor’s not wrong. This should be about us and what we want. You know what we didn’t want? This party. You know what I don’t want? Having to go out with every male relative you have as part of my bachelor party. Your uncle’s been hinting at strippers all night. I’m not looking at naked women with your creepy Uncle Bob.”
“Uncle Bob is not creepy,” Allie whispered.
Eleanor nodded and mouthed, Sooo creepy.
“Guys, I know you’re trying to help. But you’re not. You,” Allie said, pointing at Eleanor, “don’t know what Mom has been like.”
“I don’t know my own mother?”
“You don’t know what she’s been like about this wedding. Everything has to be different than last time. Everything you didn’t do, I have to do, and it all has to be perfect. She’s scheduled no less than five dress fittings. Seriously? How many times do I have to see if a dress fits?”
Eleanor tried to swallow her irritation. She felt the guilt, but it was unreasonable. She didn’t want her sister to suffer because of her elopement, but at the same time this was her mother’s doing, not hers.
“Why did you agree to it? You are a grown woman, about to get married. Why can’t you say no to her?”
“Because I’m the only one who cares about making her happy,” Allie fired back. “And she knows it. Why can’t you ever say yes to something?”
“I’m here, aren’t I?”
“Yes and already complaining.”
“Time out,” Mike intervened. “This is getting heated, and people are starting to notice. We all promised to play nice.”
Eleanor checked herself. Mike was right. This party, which was stressing her sister out already, wasn’t the place to challenge her to say no to their mother. And, she had to admit to herself, maybe she wasn’t as unaffected as she thought she could be.
It’s not like any of this would bring back particular memories.
There had been no engagement party. No bachelor party. No large ceremony. No family and friends.
Just her and Max in front of a judge in a small town in Nevada. He’d given her a bouquet of daisies to hold.
Eleanor lifted her head, looking around the room for Daniel. She saw that he was talking to her cousin, Marissa.
Check that. Her cousin Marissa was desperately flirting with him. He seemed unaffected. A point in his favor as Marissa was quite attractive.
Then Eleanor turned to focus on her sister again. “You’re right. I’m sorry. If you’re willing to be whatever you need to be for Mom, then I’m willing to be whatever you need. I want this to be a happy time for you.”
Allie nodded. “Okay, well, get ready. Here she comes, and she doesn’t look happy...like at all. She must have run out of something. Please let it not be the liquor.”
Eleanor saw her mother approaching, and it was true. She was nearly ashen. Her makeup unable to hide whatever had shocked her.
“Eleanor,” she began, then stopped. She put her hand over her heart and took a few breaths.
“Mom, what is it? Are you having chest pains? Do we need to call an ambulance?”
Fear gripped Eleanor. A sudden heart attack was how they had lost her father all those years ago.
“No, it’s nothing like that. Just a shock. We have a...guest. I’ve asked him to wait in your father’s study. I don’t want to upset the party and ruin Allie’s night. Eleanor, come with me. Just you. Alone.”
Eleanor had no concept of why her mother needed her alone. Or why a guest had to be sent to her father’s study. An old high school friend? Or more likely a frenemy. There was Tony Santino, whom she dated for a while in high school until he ended up cheating on her with her best friend. Definitely not someone she would enjoy seeing again. Then again, there was no reason why he’d be here tonight. He’d been three years ahead of Allie in school.
Marilyn turned the corner, then stopped in front of the door to the study. Really? Whoever was inside was so startling he needed to be shut in?
“Mom, what is this?”
Marilyn was wringing her hands, clearly upset.
“There’s nothing to do,” she said eventually. “You’ll just have to go in. I’ll go let your sister know what’s happening.”
With that, her mother left. Cautiously, Eleanor opened the door. Inside was a man. He stood by the windows. Tall, his back to her. His hair was dark with a little gray woven through it. Something about the way he held himself. His hands clasped behind his back. His legs separated like the floor was the bow of ship and he needed the extra balance.
She knew that pose. She knew those shoulders. But of course, none of that was possible.
Then he turned. His face was weathered, more weathered than three years ago. But it was his face.
The face of her dead husband.
“Hey, Nor.”
Immediately she bent over and threw up the champagne she’d been drinking onto her pretty Jimmy Choo pumps. It was as if her whole body was rejecting what she was seeing.
He took a step toward her, and she held up a hand to keep him at bay.
“How is this happening?” she muttered, still bent over.
“I know this is a shock. I didn’t know how else to do this. I came home and my parents—”
“Your parents are dead. You’re dead.”
These were two things she knew to be true. A year after Max was officially declared dead, Harry and Sarah were in a car accident. As Max had been their only son, Eleanor, even though she’d been trying to get a divorce at the time of their son’s death, was their only remaining family. She’d been listed as the emergency contact.
She’d arranged the funeral, the sale of their home. But she’d kept the cabin in the mountains. How could she not?
“I didn’t know how to find you. I did some internet searches. I found your company, but then I saw the announcement of Allie getting married. It mentioned the engagement party tonight. I knew you would be here.”
“Stop talking,” Eleanor snapped. She couldn’t process this. She couldn’t accept the fact that she was seeing him again. He was dead.
For more than two years, he’d been dead.
For more than two years, she’d been dead.
“You died,” she said as if she had to explain some fundamental truth to him.
“I didn’t.”
“How?”
He sighed. “That’s a very long story.”
She looked at him. Full-on. It was only then that she realized she had been looking at him like he was the sun. Indirectly. As if she would go blind if she stared at him full-on.
“You’re here,” she said. “You. Are. Here.”
He nodded. “I am.”
The door opened.
“Eleanor, are you all right? I saw you come in here alone. Oh, hello. And you are?” Daniel said, looking over at the stranger in the room.
Eleanor finally was able to stand straight. Her stomach no longer in jeopardy of upheaving anything. Her knees were shaky, but she was fairly certain she wasn’t going to faint.
“Daniel, this is...this is...”
“Max Harper,” Max said, reaching out to shake Daniel’s hand.
Daniel’s eyes got wide. “Oh, my goodness. You’re...you’re...”
“I’m Eleanor’s not-dead husband.”
Chapter Three (#u661cda67-d377-529b-b1bb-6732da84ea90)
“AND YOU ARE?” Max asked.
He knew. In his heart of hearts, he knew coming back here now might be too late. But he had to try. Of course she would have moved on. Of course she would have remarried.
She might have done that even if he hadn’t been declared dead.
He looked at her again because he could. Because he was alive, standing in her family home—a place he’d been to on a couple occasions during their short marriage. He knew she was experiencing shock. But it wasn’t all that different for him, either.
Because there was a time when he never thought he would see her again.
Eleanor.
She’d always been beautiful. Long, chestnut hair, dark brown eyes. Lips that were a smidge bigger than they should, which made every man around her want to kiss them.
Two and half years had only added to that beauty. Instead of the young woman he’d first met, full of all the hope and excitement of the future that was coming, now she was fully a woman.
He’d loved that young woman. Desperately. This person he wanted to get to know. If she would give him a chance. If this man wasn’t who Max suspected he was.
He held his breath waiting for the introduction.
Waiting to hear the word husband.
“I’m Daniel Reynolds. Eleanor’s date for this evening. And this suddenly got very awkward.”
Date. Not husband. Not boyfriend. Date. The relief was palpable.
Max turned his attention to Eleanor, who was slipping out of her shoes.
“I need to run upstairs and freshen up. Max...” It was as if she was having a hard time saying his name, like she could barely push the word out of her mouth. “Max...you need to stay in here. I don’t want to needlessly...upset anyone.”
Except the door swung open, and Max turned his attention to the newest arrival.
“It’s true! Oh, my God. You’re alive. Max!” Allie ran to him and flew into his arms. He caught Eleanor’s sister and swirled her around.
“Allie,” he said into her pretty, soft brown hair. Finally. Someone who was actually happy to see him. Happy that he was alive. He’d adored Allie as if she’d been his real little sister. He’d known the feeling was mutual. Now, here she was in his arms, clinging to him.
Quite the opposite of her sister, Eleanor.
After too long a moment, he finally set her down. “Look at you. You’re all grown up.”
She beamed at him, and he wanted to ingest that smile because it was something else he never thought he would see again.
“This is—I can’t even... How is this possible?”
“Apparently, it’s a very long story,” Eleanor said.
A man walked in behind Allie, then shut the door.
“Mike,” Allie said, clearly getting emotional. “It’s Max. He’s alive.”
“Better than dead, I imagine,” Mike said, obviously trying to keep things light.
Max liked him instantly.
“A lot better than dead,” Max agreed.
“Mike Davies.”
“Max Harper.”
Max shook the man’s hand and assessed him. A little taller than Allie. A little stockier. He had a firm handshake and made direct eye contact. And when he looked at Allie it was as if the only thing that mattered right now was how she was dealing with the situation.
Yes. Max approved of Mike. As her pseudo older brother, he knew that would mean something to Allie.
“I don’t know about anyone else, but I need a drink.” This came from Daniel. The Date. “Can I get anyone anything?”
“Bourbon,” Max said. “If you have it.”
“Of course we have bourbon,” Eleanor said as if he’d suggested something ridiculous.
She was flustered. She was still processing. She wore a stunning navy dress, and suddenly he realized he wanted everyone to leave so that he could be alone with his wife.
“Okay, okay,” she muttered. As if she was a general coming up with a game plan. “Here is what we’re going to do. Daniel, if you would be so kind to bring the bottle of bourbon back here, that would be great. I’m going to clean champagne off my favorite pair of shoes. Allie and Mike, you have to go out there and mingle. If you stay in here, people will wonder what’s happening. I don’t want anyone to see him.”
“Why not?” her sister asked. “He’s alive. It’s not like he has to be hidden.”
“Allie,” Eleanor snapped again. “Please. I get you’re happy to see him. But I think we all need to remember...how things were between Max and me...before...”
“I died. Except I didn’t.”
Eleanor looked at him then, and he remembered that expression. It was her way of telling him to go shut it. He’d missed that look. He’d missed everything about her.
Daniel. Date. Not boyfriend. Not husband. Date.
He could work with that.
“Eleanor...” Allie said as if this was something she was willing to put up a fight over.
“Allie, do what your sister says,” Max said. “This isn’t going to be easy. For any of us. We’ll catch up later. You can tell me if this guy is worthy of you.”
She beamed again, only this time it clearly wasn’t for him. “He is. He so is.”
Mike took Allie’s hand and led her out of the room. Daniel left behind them. Then it was just Eleanor and Max.
“You could have called,” she accused him.
“I didn’t have your number.”
It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the full truth, either. He’d looked her up online. He knew she was the founder and CEO of a start-up company called Head to Toe. That had been his original plan. To find the address of her company. To see her there.
But when the engagement announcement popped up under his Allie Gaffney alert, this had seemed like a better opportunity. More personal.
They were also the only family he had left.
Max thought he would be coming home to two devastated parents and a ticked-off almost ex-wife. He hadn’t expected his parents’ deaths. How could he?
He’d been by the graveyard. He’d seen the headstones Eleanor had picked out for them. He knew that she’d made sure they were buried with all the respect and dignity they deserved.
She’d done that for them even though she’d left him and wanted a divorce.
“You could have found a way...to make this easier,” she said. “This...it’s too much.”
“Nor—”
“Don’t call me that,” she snapped. “No one calls me that anymore.”
“This was never going to be easy.”
She nodded, at least acknowledging that.
“I need to...” She paused as if she had lost her train of thought.
“Change your shoes,” he offered. “They look pretty expensive.”
She lifted her chin. “I have a company.”
“I know you do. I told you, I looked you up. It’s how I found out about tonight.”
Warily, as if he was some kind of predator, she backed away from him. “You need to stay in here.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
Then she hesitated again. “Are you hungry? We have lots of food.”
“Yes. I’m starving actually. Anything sounds good.”
Again she nodded, then not turning her back on him—he liked to think because she liked seeing him standing in front of her—she left the room.
Max took a seat and blew out a breath. He figured the hardest part was over.
Then, almost instantly, he knew that was wrong.
Getting his wife back. That was going to be the hardest part.
* * *
MAX WAS ALIVE. Max was alive.
Eleanor thought if she said it a thousand times, it might penetrate her reality. But alternately she had to remind herself that, in some corner of her brain, she never really thought he was dead.
He had never felt dead to her.
But that was silly and based on feelings, not on facts. His ship went missing, lost at sea. Max had been declared dead. She’d grieved. Then she’d grieved again when Harry and Sarah died.
She’d stayed close with them despite the situation between Max and her because, at that point, there had been no reason to hold on to grudges. It hadn’t mattered that Max had picked his job over his wife, because Max was dead.
Now he was here. Alive. Saying to her in that very serious way he had that he wasn’t going anywhere.
Because that was so like him.
Showing up two and a half years later at her sister’s engagement party undead wasn’t meant to be dramatic or shocking. It was simply the most expedient way he had of seeing her again. Eleanor knew that.
Max wasn’t drama. He wasn’t show. He’d always been substance.
It’s why she had always believed in their love, which, while it had been happening, had been so overwhelming. Because Max wasn’t the type of man to have passionate affairs. Which meant their passion was something else. Something different. Something built on a foundation.
Until the foundation wasn’t strong enough to handle another research trip. At least not for her.
Eleanor needed five minutes to escape. She needed to change her shoes, brush her teeth to get the taste of stale champagne out of her mouth, and, mostly, she needed to think.
She made her way through the crowd of guests hoping she was doing an adequate job of not looking like her life had just been upended.
She ran upstairs toward her bedroom with her mother trailing after her.
“How is this possible?” she asked quietly.
“I don’t know.”
“Well, didn’t you think to ask him?”
“Mom, I’m a little stunned right now, so could you back off?”
“No, I will not back off. Forget the fact that he’s pulled this rising-from-the-dead stunt. Don’t forget how things ended between you two before all that death business. You were devastated when you came back from Norway. I don’t want to see that happen again. Say the word, and I’ll ask him to leave this house right now. Your cousin Robbie can toss him out if he refuses.”
Robbie was the tallest of the cousins and wouldn’t have been able to move Max an inch if Max didn’t want to be moved.
“No.”
That much Eleanor knew. First, he had to tell her what happened. She, at least, deserved that. Then...there was so much more to work out.
His parents’ estate, which she’d held in a trust for the past year because she was not exactly sure what to do with it, was one thing. Not to mention the tiny little detail that he’d never actually signed the divorce papers. So, now that he was legally alive, she was still legally married to him.
“Please tell me you are not actually happy to see him again. That man broke your heart, if you recall.”
No, he hadn’t broken it. He’d shattered it. Stomped on it. Then threw it overboard for chum. Then he went and ruined all of that by dying so that, instead of hating him, she’d missed him with every ounce of her being.
“No. I mean, yes, I have to be happy he’s not dead. But it’s not...I mean, of course I’m over him.”
They reached the top of the stairs, and her mother pulled on her arm. “Eleanor Jane Gaffney, look at me and tell me you will ever be over Max Harper.”
“It’s Eleanor Jane Gaffney Harper, Mom. Remember?”
“Actually sometimes it’s easy to forget because I wasn’t invited to the wedding, now, was I?”
It was almost comical. Here Marilyn was threatening to throw Max out of the house by force if necessary so that he couldn’t emotionally hurt her daughter any further, but she was still making digs about how they’d chosen to get married in the first place. “Really, Mom? We’re going to fight about the elopement tonight of all nights?”
Her mother let out a sigh. “No. We’re not. I just need to make sure you can...handle being around him again. Daniel seems like a very nice man. I would hate to see you throw away any potential you have with him over Max Harper.”
“Are you angry with Max because we chose to elope? Or because he left me? Or because he died, but now is actually alive?”
Marilyn seemed to consider that. “All of the above.”
“Right.”
“I told you it was too soon,” Marilyn hissed. Reminding her daughter for the millionth time that she had advised Eleanor against getting married so quickly.
“Which is why we eloped,” Eleanor said tightly. The argument, for all its repetition, never changed.
“Because you’re impossibly stubborn.”
Eleanor wanted to say she got that from her mother, but thought better of it. It would only lead down the same path this conversation always took them inevitably. Which was that Marilyn had been right and Eleanor had been wrong. Something her mother had reinforced when Eleanor had come back from Norway.
Because there was nothing a person wanted more while crying over a broken heart than to hear her mother’s version of I told you so.
“I need to get down there and talk to him. But I need a few minutes to compose myself first. Please give me a little space, Mom.”
“Just don’t let yourself get sucked in again. The last time it nearly killed you when it ended. Remember who he is. I told you then and I will tell you now, that man doesn’t know how to stay in one place forever. So he may be alive and he may be back for now. But it’s only temporary. Sure enough, there will be another assignment and another ship.”
Eleanor hated to admit it, but her mother had a point. Max had nearly been her downfall. The thing she had almost not recovered from.
Until she did. Until she’d pulled herself out of the ashes of her failed marriage and built herself a company.
“Mom, I’m not going to get sucked in by Max. I remember how it ended better than anyone. Really. I’m fine. But we need to sort out the technicalities. Legally we’re still married.”
“Fine. I need to get back to my guests. You’re sure you can handle this?”
“I’ve got it.”
At least she hoped she had it. She was no longer a lovesick, twenty-six-year-old woman who was desperate to have her husband not leave her again.
Instead, she was a strong, independent woman who owned a successful business. A woman who was dating another man. A woman who had been hurt, but who had moved on with her life.
No. All she needed from Max Harper was a divorce.
First, though, she needed to feed him.
Chapter Four (#u661cda67-d377-529b-b1bb-6732da84ea90)
MAX TURNED AT the sound of the knock. Instead of Eleanor, it was Daniel with the bottle of bourbon he’d managed to acquire. He held up the bottle, and Max nodded.
The man poured them each a few fingers, then handed Max his glass. Max took a deep sniff, letting it seep through his senses. Yet another thing he was getting to re-experience. Booze.
He took a sip and savored the heat of it melting down his throat.
“So you’re Eleanor’s...”
“Husband. Yes, I thought we established that. And you are her...date. How did you two meet?”
“I’m an investment banker. I look for opportunities with thriving young companies to take them to the next level. Eleanor has one of those companies. I pursued it...then I pursued her.”
“Yes. I’m aware of the company. Head to Toe. Fitting. She always did all my shopping. Said I had no sense for fashion, which I suppose I don’t.”
“She’s got excellent taste. She picked this tie out for me. Do you like it?”
Max thought about that. It was a nice tie. “No.”
Daniel tilted his head back and laughed. “I see. This isn’t going to be a situation where you wish us all the best in our burgeoning relationship and fade out of the picture.”
“I’ve been out of the picture for more than two years. Fading away is the last thing I want.” He sure as hell didn’t want his wife finding happiness with someone else. Not when he planned to fight for her.
“Look, man, you can’t possibly be serious. You’ve been dead for over two years, gone for longer than that. Eleanor doesn’t talk about you much, but she told me the basics. You were married for three years, gone for most of that time, on the verge of a divorce when your ship went missing. Any feelings you might have had, any she might have had, that’s all in the past.”
“You’ve known me for all of a minute and offered me a drink, but you think you can tell me how I feel about my wife?”
“Your ex-wife,” Daniel said pointedly.
“Technically, that’s not true.” Eleanor was back and shutting the door behind her. She had a plate piled high with food in her hands. She looked pale, but more in control of herself than she had been earlier.
Yes, she’d changed in two plus years. She’d grown into herself. And as much as he’d loved the woman she’d been when he married her, that was how much he wanted to know this version of her, as well.
“Daniel, I’m sorry. I know this is incredibly rude of me...”
“I don’t know that there is etiquette regarding dealing with a husband back from the dead.”
Max gave the guy some credit. He was smooth. Freshly shaven, expensive suit. He looked and acted like money. No doubt a fish out of water in Hartsville, Nebraska. Still, he’d come to the sticks for Eleanor, which showed she meant something to him.
Daniel was a man in pursuit of Max’s wife.
It was something Max simply could not stand for.
“I need some time alone with Max. I don’t want you to feel like I’m ignoring you...”
“But of course you need to ignore me right now. You and Max obviously have things to work out. I understand completely. If you don’t mind, I think I’ll head back to Denver tonight rather than stay at the B and B.”
“So late?”
“It’s only after nine, and with no traffic I should be home in three hours.”
She nodded. “You’ll text me to let me know you arrived home safely.”
Daniel flashed a smile in Max’s direction. “See how she cares about me?”
Max prevented himself from tackling the asshole, deciding violence wouldn’t get him anywhere. Certainly not with Eleanor.
“I do,” Max answered. “But wouldn’t anyone, given they were asking you to leave in the first place?”
Another shut-it look from Nor. Max wanted to tilt his head back and shout to the world. For years he’d been lost, for weeks he’d been devastated by the knowledge of his parents’ death. But now, finally, things were starting to make sense. Eleanor was telling him to shut his mouth with the power of a look.
He was here. With Nor. And regardless of Daniel and whatever it was they had between them, Max was still legally her husband. His plan was to hold on to that, if nothing else, with both hands.
Daniel flashed another smile, then very deliberately kissed Eleanor on the cheek. “Good night, my dear. You’ll pass on my regrets to your mother and tell her I hope to see her at the wedding?”
“Of course.”
Douchebag, Max thought. But he supposed he had to feel some sympathy for the guy. If the situation were reversed, he would also fight like hell to keep a woman like Eleanor.
Daniel left, and Max waited until the door was closed.
“He’ll see her at the wedding? Didn’t they just get engaged? And the wedding’s not for a while? Pretty ballsy move if you ask me.”
“Yes, well...I don’t want to talk about Daniel.”
“That’s unfortunate because I do want to talk about him. He says you two have a burgeoning relationship. Can you quantify what that means?”
Eleanor opened her mouth, then snapped it closed. “I don’t think it’s any of your business.”
“None of my business? My wife is dating someone and that’s none of my business?”
“Oh, please, Max. Let’s not pretend here. I’m glad you are alive... I’m, well, the truth is, in a way I feel sort of redeemed because I never truly believed you were dead. I thought I would feel differently if you were dead...and I didn’t...but then I had to accept it. So I did. But just because you are back doesn’t mean anything has changed between us.”
“You’re right about that,” he said.
She nodded. “Good. It’s important that we are on the same page here.”
“I agree. Can I eat?” He pointed to the plate of food.
“Sure. Sorry. I know you said you were hungry. You’ve obviously lost weight.”
He smiled at that. “I’ve been back in the States for a few weeks, Nor. It’s not like I haven’t eaten since being rescued.”
“I asked you not to call me that.”
Max sat on the sofa. He set his drink down and picked up the plate of food. Steak tenderloin, mashed potatoes, a corn cake—Marilyn’s special recipe. And some broccoli, which Nor knew he wouldn’t eat, but she put it on his plate because she thought it was important he eat more vegetables.
“Looks good. All my favorites. You remembered.”
“Don’t,” she warned him. “Don’t try to read anything into that. It’s food.”
Max held up his hands as if in surrender, then reached for the corn cake and took a bite. Savoring the flavors in this mouth.
“God, that’s good. You can’t know what it’s like to eat nothing but fish for years.”
Cautiously, like she was in the room with a caged beast, she sat in the chair across from him.
“I guess it’s time you told me your long story.”
* * *
ELEANOR ALMOST DIDN’T want to hear his story. It seemed like it would make her too invested in him again. It would be better to simply to tell him to leave now. They could handle everything—the divorce, his parents’ affairs—all by mail, then that would be the end of their story.
Nothing so dramatic as a lost ship, a story of survival and returning from the dead.
But she supposed she had to know.
He shrugged after eating the last of her mother’s famous corn cake, literally licking the crumbs off his fingers.
“We ran into a storm. Not sure why the captain didn’t have more notice. But it was a bad one. Waves coming over the bow, we just took on too much water. The ship was going down. We took to the life rafts with not much hope. I broke my leg in the effort. The pain was... I don’t like to think about it. We drifted for days. The two crewmen with me died. I thought I was going to, as well. I don’t know if I passed out or slept. The next thing I knew, I was on a fishing boat and someone was giving me water. We landed on a small island off the coast of Iceland. Completely isolated from any kind of civilization. The best I can equate it to would be like an Amish community here in the States.
“A small village, not more than a few hundred people. Living off the land. Good people, but they spoke a Nordic language I didn’t understand. They had absolutely no English. My femur was broken. Their version of a doctor set it, but I couldn’t put any pressure on it for months. Then I was sick with pneumonia. I didn’t think I was going to survive that either without antibiotics. I pulled through it eventually with their natural treatments. It was months before I could walk, months after that to get my strength back. Then it was just a matter of waiting for a commercial fishing boat to pass by, one with the ability to communicate to the people of the village and me to explain I needed to get on it somehow. There were months I thought I would be stuck there for the rest of my life. I fished with them. I ate with them. Then, finally, a commercial fishing boat appeared. I was able to talk to the captain, convince him I needed to leave. The crew sailed me out to the ship, and eventually I made my way to Iceland.”
That was also typical Max, she thought. She’d counted no less than three near-death experiences, but he brushed over all of that like they were just facts in some other person’s story. As if none of it touched him.
“And when you got back to Iceland?”
“It was difficult. I wasn’t...used to people. It took me time to assimilate again. Eventually, I made my way to the U.S. consulate. Told them who I was and what happened. They reached out to the university to tell them I was alive. I kept trying to call my parents... It wasn’t until I got to the States that I learned what happened. Someone from the university met me at the airport. Told me about the accident. Told me what you had done for them. Now here I am.”
“Here you are,” she whispered. “I’m sorry. For your loss of them. They were such good people. You should know that after you...after you were declared dead I spent time with them. The three of us were together. We all sort of overlooked the fact that I had been in the process of divorcing you.”
“I didn’t think you would do it,” he said quietly. “I never thought you would really leave me.”
“I know.”
Max leaned forward, his hands loosely linked together. “I’m sorry I left, Nor. God I’m so sorry.”
“Not sorry enough that you didn’t turn around and get back on another ship.”
She watched him wince. As if she’d slapped him. She hadn’t meant to cause him pain. Or had she? When the four months passed, she’d been determined to resist every effort he would make to win her back. Positive in the knowledge that he would have taken the first plane he could to be by her side.
That he hadn’t even bothered to try winning her back had been crushing in its own way.
“I had a plan,” he said roughly.
“You always had a plan, Max. It just didn’t include me.”
“You’re wrong.”
Eleanor sighed. “It really doesn’t matter. It’s all in the past now. What’s important is what we do moving forward.”
“I agree.” He nodded. Then he reached for the bourbon and took a healthy slug.
“So, I’ll talk to my attorney when I get to Denver. I’m sure the papers are still on file somewhere. She should be able to just pull up the file. There was no property. I had saved some of your old books and things. I had given them to your parents after... But when I settled the estate, I donated anything I could to the local library. Sorry.”
“Don’t be. I was dead.”
“And I gave all your clothes to Goodwill. Sorry again.”
He laughed. “Again, don’t be. I lost about twenty pounds, and I haven’t been able to put it back on. I’ll need new ones anyway.”
Eleanor could see that. Max was tall at six-two, but two plus years ago he’d been broader in the chest and stomach. Now he looked leaner but still just as strong. Like a man who had been doing physical labor on a fishing boat for the past few months. Rather than just gathering data.
She didn’t want to think about how he looked, though. The changes to his body underneath the clothes.
Yes, a naked Max should be the last thing on her mind.
Eleanor swallowed. “In addition to the divorce papers, I can have my attorney draft a letter that will transfer the trust fund I set up with the residuals from your parents’ estate to you. Also I’ll need to deed over the cabin to you.”
That had his eyes perking up. “You kept the cabin?”
“I...I couldn’t let it go.”
He liked that. She could tell by the expression on his face. As though it was important to him that she couldn’t let it go.
That cabin was where they had spent their honeymoon and handful of other times when they had just wanted to get away. The cabin was a place filled with memories of making love for hours on end. With no thought or care in the world but each other.
Mentally, Eleanor had to push those memories away, as well.
“I’m glad. I would have been sad to have lost that, too.”
She couldn’t be sorry, then, that she saved it. He’d lost more than two years of his life, and, in that time, he’d lost almost everything else. His parents, the house where he’d grown up, all of his things...her.
“It’s getting late. Most folks will start to clear out soon. That couch you’re sitting on pulls out. You can sleep here tonight.”
“Not going to kick me out like you did Danny boy?”
“His name is Daniel, and I didn’t kick him out. He had a room at the B and B in town. You know Mom’s rules.”
“No ring, no bed. Why do you think I needed to marry you so quickly?”
She tried to smile. She really did. But all she could feel right now was sadness. The shock of seeing him again was starting to wear off, and all the old feelings she’d had when she left him were still there.
“Good night, Max.”
He stood and walked over to her. She noticed he had a slight limp. A broken femur in the middle of the frozen Norwegian Sea. On a life raft with two people who were already dead. She couldn’t imagine what he’d suffered. Couldn’t let herself think about how it made her feel to know that he was out there on the ocean alone.
“I think I’ve left you with a misconception. You said that just because I’m back doesn’t change anything between us, and I agreed.”
“Yes. So?”
“When I said nothing’s changed between us, I meant it. I loved you when you left, and you loved me. As far as I’m concerned nothing has changed.”
“Max...”
“Nor, I screwed up. I know that now and I’ve had more than two hard years to think of what I had done. But I’m back now, and I’m never going to leave you again.”
Eleanor shook her head. This was what she’d been afraid of when the four months had passed, and he came back from his expedition to find her gone. That he wouldn’t simply accept that she had left him. That she wanted a divorce. That he would fight for her.
She remembered thinking she would need to be as strong as she had ever been in order to resist him. Because he was right. She had still loved him when she left him.
“I don’t believe you.”
“It’s the truth. I’m never setting foot on a ship again.”
“That’s obviously a natural fear you have right now. But in time that will heal and you’ll—”
He grasped her around her upper arms and gave her a small shake. “Nor, look at me. I’m not getting on a ship again because I’m afraid of the water. That’s not the reason. I’m not getting on a ship again because I’m not leaving you. Ever. I cost us years of our life together. I know that. So, I’m not wasting another second of it. I was prepared, if I came back here to find you happily married with two kids and a dog, that I would have to accept it and let you go. But a couple dates with Danny boy? No way. I’m fighting.”
“This is pointless, Max. It’s been too long. Surely you don’t think I can still be in love with you after all these years?”
He stared into her eyes, but, honestly, she had no idea what he would find there.
“Then I guess I’ll have to make you fall in love with me all over again.”
“That’s not going to happen.” She wouldn’t let it happen. She would never survive a round two with Max Harper. She was sure of it.
“Then prove it. Come to the cabin with me. A couple days for me to spend some time with my parents’ stuff. Grieve them with me. Please, Nor. At least give me that.”
“It won’t change anything between us.”
“Then there should be no reason why you can’t come,” he said as if he’d beaten her in a contest of logic.
“Except that I have a company to run,” she said, exasperated that he wouldn’t even consider she had her own life. Wasn’t that what he’d told her to do? Find something that was important to her. Have a passion for something that wasn’t him.
“I know.” He smiled. “Head to Toe. I told you I found it when I was looking for you. You’re considered one of the fastest growing start-ups in Denver.”
She would not be pleased he’d read that about her. She would not feel an ounce of pride.
“A couple days. You can bring a laptop to work remotely. We need, if nothing else, more closure to our relationship. That’s all I’m asking.”
If she was going to do this, then she needed to get something out of the deal.
“Fine. A couple days. You’ll see there is nothing there between us anymore. No relationship to be salvaged. Then you’ll agree to a non-contested divorce. Deal?”
He took a step back, and she almost took a step forward as if to follow. Such had always been her attraction to him. Just like a magnet.
He held his hand out. “I agree to divorce you if I can’t make you fall in love with me again.”
“Max...” she growled.
“Take it or leave it.”
Everything inside her was screaming that this was a mistake. That, in fact, the only shelter from the Max Harper storm would be to find whatever island he’d lived on for the past two or so years and go there—where he would never find her.
Instead, she shook his hand.
* * *
“HOLY COW? CAN you actually believe this is happening?” Allie spit out the toothpaste she had in her mouth so what sounded like a question to her probably came out as a mumble to Mike. Then she made her way to her bedroom through the connecting door of the bathroom.
She should probably lower her voice. Eleanor’s room, after all, was on the other side of the connecting bathroom door.
“That your mother is letting me spend the night in your room without the benefit of marriage vows?” Mike asked. “No, I can’t believe this is happening.”
Allie took a minute to check out her fiancé in her bed. He was right. This was a stunning development. They had dated for three years, had lived together for one, had been engaged now for a few weeks, but this was the first time Mike had ever even been upstairs in her room.
She’d given him the guided tour of her young-girl years, her teenage-crush years, her longing-to-go-to-college years...that had hurt. Showing him what she hadn’t accomplished.
Two years of community school was all her mother had thought she needed. With an associate degree she could work at a bank, or as a receptionist in an office. After all, what on earth would Allie ever do with a four-year degree when she’d only ever been a B student in high school?
Unlike Eleanor who had gotten straight A’s.
The awful part was that Allie hadn’t known what she wanted to do. She couldn’t say that she wanted to go to college for any particular degree. Couldn’t fight for it like Eleanor had. Then again, Eleanor hadn’t won any battles with her mother. Marilyn hadn’t thought college was necessary for her oldest daughter, either.
Eleanor had just figured out a way to do it all herself.
Including getting married.
“I don’t mean that,” Allie said. “But it is crazy. It was like after Max showed up she had no fight left. I told her you’d had another drink as a result and couldn’t drive, and she was like... Fine. But be respectful and for heaven’s sake don’t...do anything.”
Mike laughed. “I am so going to do stuff to you when you get in this bed.”
Allie giggled. It might be the biggest rule she’d ever broken. Wearing her tank top and pajama bottoms, she threw herself onto the bed and Mike’s chest. He let out a hard woosh as if she crushed him, even though she knew she hadn’t.
“What I meant before is isn’t it crazy about Max?”
“Guy returns from the dead? Yeah, I’m pretty sure the last time I saw that happen it was on General Hospital.”
Allie bit her bottom lip. “This is going to wreck her, but I hope...I really hope she gives him a chance. For her own sake. They loved each other, you know?”
“Like us?”
Allie smiled. Yes, she knew she loved Mike as much Eleanor had loved Max. “It was different for them, though.”
“Different how?”
“They had all these obstacles to overcome. Mom thought they hadn’t dated long enough to get married. Then, of course, she opposed the elopement. Hence the Allie-and-Mike-wedding extravaganza. At every turn they faced something and then in the end...it was just too much to overcome.”
Mike snorted.
Allie knew that snort. He wasn’t buying her story.
“What?”
He shrugged. His big bear shoulders lifting out from her soft, daisy yellow duvet. “You told me the story, Allie. Max left her for his work. She left him because she couldn’t do it anymore. That’s not a love that sticks. That’s a love that doesn’t stick in hard times.”
“But you don’t know what would have happened if he hadn’t been gone for more than two years. Two years, Mike! They could have worked things out. I know Max. He wouldn’t have let Eleanor go without a fight.”
Mike rolled onto his side taking her with him so that he half lay on top of her, his big, bearded, Midwest-farmer face so precious to her, there for her to touch and stroke.
“I’m never going to leave you. No matter what.”
Allie smiled at him. “Me, either. I’m not trying to say our love is any less than theirs. Circumstances were just different for them.”
“Tell you what. You want an obstacle we have to overcome...tell your mother I don’t want a bachelor party with your creepy uncle, and I want to cut the guest list in half to make this thing more about us and the people we love. Let’s see if we can fight through that, because I know that’s what you want, too.”
Allie cringed. “I know she’s difficult...”
Mike shook his head. “It’s not about her being difficult. That’s Marilyn Gaffney and I accept that. This is about what Eleanor said to you tonight. What do you want, Allie? And what are you willing to fight for, for us? Eleanor was willing to fight for Max. She got him, then she left him. Maybe he wins her back, maybe he doesn’t, but I know this. No matter what happens with Max, it won’t be your mother’s call. It will be Eleanor’s.”
“You’re saying I’m a pushover,” Allie muttered, feeling herself get defensive.
“I’m saying I want you to start fighting for yourself and what you want. Because the next thing you know, I might be that person you’re just trying to make happy all the time. If that happens, you’ll start to resent me, and that will stink up a marriage like cow shit in a barn.”
“You have such a way with sayings.”
“I’m serious, Allie.”
She knew it was a fault. Knew it was something she had to find within herself. But tonight was her engagement party, and it was over, thank God! Mike was in her bed and Max was not dead.
Which meant, in some ways, Eleanor might come back to life, too. The way she had once been.
“Fine. You want me to speak my mind?”
“I do.”
“Well, this fiancée wants an orgasm, and you’re going to have to be pretty crafty about it because my mother cannot hear a thing.”
Mike smiled. “I can give that a shot.”
Allie smiled as he slid under the covers, and, after a time and an amazing orgasm, she knew Mike had, indeed, given it his best shot.
Chapter Five (#u661cda67-d377-529b-b1bb-6732da84ea90)
“ARE YOU INSANE?”
“Mom...” Eleanor groaned.
“I think it’s a good idea,” Allie chimed in.
They were sitting together at the breakfast table. Last night Marilyn had made sure Max had pillows and a blanket. She’d also made it clear she thought it best he leave early in the morning before any of the staying guests woke and found him in the house.
Too many questions and all that.
Eleanor had given him her number so he could reach her, and, true to his word, he was gone before anyone woke up.
The house now empty of guests, it was just Eleanor with her mother and her sister as she explained over eggs and bacon where Max had been for the last two or so years, everything that had happened to him, as well as how they’d left things between them.
It was strange, Eleanor thought. How different she felt waking up this morning. For one, her first thought hadn’t been about Head to Toe and what her schedule looked like for the day. For another, it was the crazy realization that Max was once more alive.
Not just in the physical sense. But alive for her. A decision she needed to make. An action she needed to do. It was like breathing for the first time after holding her breath for so long.
Maybe for more than two years.
“It is absolutely not a good idea. Do not encourage your sister,” her mother said to Allie.
“Mom, it’s the most expedient way to end this,” Eleanor said.
Because that was what she told herself. A few days with Max. Closure on their relationship. A real end to what had been the most significant relationship of her life.
“I know Max. He’s stubborn as heck. He’ll beat this drum endlessly until he realizes the truth. That what we had is over. Then he’ll give me the divorce, and I can finally move on with my life.”
Her mother rolled her eyes. “Right, because in the two plus years since his death, you’ve been able to move on. What was Daniel? Maybe the third person you’ve been out with in two years.”
“Technically the fourth.” Three blind dates—one of whom canceled at the last minute, but she had agreed to the date so that counted—and Daniel. Then there was that other incident, the one she didn’t like to think about because of how it made her feel. Certainly no reason to inform her mother of that.
“I was married for three years, Mom. It’s not the strangest thing that, while I was growing my business and getting over my failed marriage, then the death of my husband, dating would not exactly be a priority for me.”
It was another argument she’d had often enough with her mother in the past two and a half years. Marilyn wanted her to move on, find another husband and start having babies.
Eleanor hadn’t been ready for any of that.
“Tell yourself that if you want, but I know you. And him, although not as well. Whatever it is about him, it acts like some kind of drug for you. You let him charm you for a few days, and you’ll find yourself falling back under his spell. Telling yourself, he’s changed. Then eventually when he goes away again, you’ll find yourself where you were when you decided to leave him the first time. Do you really want to go through that again?”
“Of course not,” Eleanor mumbled. It wasn’t possible she could fall for Max again. Having him and losing him had hurt too much. It left a wound that, if she was being honest with herself, hadn’t ever healed.
Allie was shaking her head.
“What?” Eleanor asked her.
“Eleanor, it’s simple. I know you were devastated when you left him. The reason you were was because you did love him. And when he was reported dead, you were like a zombie. I know because I lived with you for three months after. That’s how worried we were about you.”
“Right. That’s why it can never happen again.”
“You say that like you can control it. Do you still have feelings for him or not? If you do, then you owe it to both of you to hear each other out. You guys...just being around you guys as a teenager, I could feel the love. It’s what made me certain that it was real and it was out there. It’s why I was certain when I fell for Mike. I know it’s been a few years. I know this is like something out of a bad soap opera. But you’re both to blame in this.”
Eleanor’s jaw dropped. “How can you say that? He left me!”
“And you left him. When you knew he loved you more than anything. When you loved him more than anything. You gave up on the two of you first, and that’s not like you.”
“Allie!”
“You did, Eleanor,” her sister insisted. “And now I can say, being in a relationship myself, that ultimatums never work. They just piss everyone off.”
“I can’t believe you’re taking his side.”
“I’m not taking anyone’s side. I’m telling you to think about how you felt when you saw him last night...”
“Sick. I felt sick when I saw him last night and ruined a perfectly good pair of shoes,” Eleanor informed her sister. She felt the same queasy feeling now looking down at her plate of eggs with the yellow yolk running everywhere.
Because Max loved eggs. It was their Sunday morning tradition.
Shit.
She hated that she now seemed to be in this perpetual spiral of memories, good and bad, of her time with Max.
“What about Daniel?” her mother insisted.
“What about him?” Eleanor asked.
“If you do this thing, if you spend this time with your ex-husband, can’t you see that you’ll ruin any chance you have with him?”
“Mom, Daniel and I have been on a few dates. Our second one ended with me telling him he needed to leave because my long-lost husband, aka Indiana Jones, just returned from out of nowhere. I don’t think there is much of a future there for us.”
“Hmph,” her mother sighed. “A nice man, a man of means, a handsome man who wants to date you. That’s who you can’t see a future with. But Indiana Jones, that’s who you are pining over.”
“I’m not pining,” Eleanor insisted.
“You haven’t answered my question,” Allie told her. “Do you have feelings for him? Mom obviously thinks you do.”
“Of course I do. It was right there on her face when she saw him again. Like she couldn’t look away.”
Was it? Eleanor wondered. Was it right there on her face?
“Mom, I don’t get it,” Allie said. “If you think she still has feelings for him, why wouldn’t you be encouraging her to see where those feelings might lead? He is her husband, after all.”
“Because he’s going to hurt her,” Marilyn told her younger sister. As if Eleanor wasn’t sitting at the same table. “Again. And frankly, I don’t want to have to pick up the pieces. If you were supportive of your sister, you wouldn’t want that to happen, either. You’re getting married in a few months. Right now, everything is hearts and flowers with you. All you want to see are happy endings and that’s simply not reality.”
“Just because you and Dad weren’t happy, that doesn’t mean nobody can be happy,” Allie said.
Which caused her mother to gasp.
Eleanor, too, for that matter. Allie was the quiet one. The pleaser in the family. It was Eleanor who was usually the source of her mother’s upset.
“Allison Ann,” her mother said tightly. “How could you?”
Immediately, Allie ducked her head. “I’m sorry, Mom, but it’s true. If Dad hadn’t died so young, can you honestly say you wouldn’t have thought about getting a divorce?”
“Never. Divorce was simply not an option for us. Your father’s and my relationship was...complicated. We’ll leave it at that.”
“All I’m saying is that Max and Eleanor are complicated, too. Maybe she shouldn’t write off her marriage so easily.”
Starting to get annoyed with the way they were talking about her, Eleanor said, “I love how my little sister is telling me how to live my life.”
Allie picked up her orange juice and flashed Eleanor a bright smile. “Only when I’m right.”
Marilyn picked up her plate and silverware, signaling an end to both breakfast and this conversation. She would, however, have the last word. As always.
“Eleanor, you’re going to do what you want. You always do. But know this—men don’t change. It’s simply not in their nature. He left you, and he will leave you again. Trust me on this.”
With that, she took her plate to the sink, then left the kitchen in typical dramatic form.
Eleanor looked at her sister. “What were you thinking bringing up Dad like that?”
“I’m tired of lying about it. We know how it was like between them right before he died. But of course, we can never discuss it. I guess maybe what you said last night at the party rubbed off on me. It’s time to start speaking my mind. Time to stop worrying about everyone else’s feelings. I think you should give Max a shot. More than that, I think you’re looking for any excuse to do it.”
Eleanor sighed. “He hurt me, Allie. Bad.”
“You were different then. Not as independent as you are now. I don’t believe what Mom said at all. I think people do change all the time. Things happen. Max almost died! You don’t think that had any effect on him figuring out what he wanted in his life going forward?”
“Another good point. What if wanting me back has nothing to do with me?” Eleanor suggested. “What if this is just him clinging to any part of his former life? He came home to nothing.”
“And if it’s not?”
How did she explain her fear? “I wasn’t enough for him back then, Allie. As much as he loved me, I wasn’t enough.”
“I don’t believe that for a second. Because if that were true, really true, he’d divorce you and move on. You know what I think? Maybe back then you weren’t strong enough to handle what you two had. Maybe that’s why those long trips freaked you out. I know for a fact that’s not the case now. The Eleanor Harper I know can definitely handle it.”
Eleanor eyed her sister. “When did you become so wise?”
“While you all weren’t looking. Look, you already agreed to go away with him. I’m just saying keep an open mind.”
Eleanor didn’t know if she could agree to that. But she also knew the only way out of her marriage was through Max. Nothing was going to change that. And this was the last piece of his parents that he had. Being there for him wasn’t out of the question.
“I should probably tell Daniel.”
“Yeah, if it were me, and I had no shot with you, I would want to know, too.”
“Allie!”
“Sorry. I’m Team Max hashtag teammax. All the way.”
* * *
IT WAS SUNDAY NIGHT, and Eleanor was in her condo in downtown Denver. She’d spent the past few hours dealing with emails that had backed up over the weekend. Now that she was caught up, there was no use denying to herself that she’d been putting off the inevitable.
Eleanor looked at the phone in her hand. It would be so easy to just text Daniel. Did one dinner and one disastrous engagement party really make him eligible to be updated about her personal life?
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Stephanie Doyle
The only thing she wasn't prepared for was life itself…Eleanor desperately loved her husband, Max Harper, but when he chose his research work over their marriage one more time, she had no choice but to file for divorce. She couldn’t know that his ship would go down in a storm in the North Atlantic. Two years later, she’s buried him in the past, launched a thriving business and even dating again. She's getting her life together and she's doing just great, she tells anybody who asks her. But she's absolutely not prepared for what—or who—is about to step into her mom's study next…
The only thing she wasn’t prepared for was life itself...
Eleanor desperately loved her husband, Max Harper, but when he chose his research work over their marriage one more time, she had no choice but to file for divorce. She couldn’t know that his ship would go down in a storm in the North Atlantic. Two years later, she’s buried him in the past, launched a thriving business and even started dating again. She’s getting her life together and she’s doing just great, she tells anybody who asks her. But she’s absolutely not prepared for what—or who—is about to step into her mom’s study next...
STEPHANIE DOYLE, a dedicated romance reader, began to pen her own romantic adventures at age sixteen. She began submitting to Harlequin at age eighteen and by twenty-six her first book was published. Fifteen years later, she still loves what she does, as each book is a new adventure. She lives in South Jersey with her cat, Hermione, the designated princess of the house. When Stephanie’s not reading or writing, in the summer she is most likely watching a baseball game and eating a hot dog.
Also By Stephanie Doyle (#u661cda67-d377-529b-b1bb-6732da84ea90)
Her Secret Service Agent
The Bakers of Baseball
The Comeback of Roy Walker
Scout’s Honor
Betting on the Rookie
The Way Back
One Final Step
An Act of Persuasion
For the First Time
Remembering That Night
Suspect Lover
The Doctor’s Deadly Affair
Calculated Risk
The Contestant
Possessed
Discover more at millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Married…Again
Stephanie Doyle
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
ISBN: 978-1-474-08104-7
MARRIED…AGAIN
© 2018 Stephanie Doyle
Published in Great Britain 2018
by Mills & Boon, an imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF
All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. This edition is published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, locations and incidents are purely fictional and bear no relationship to any real life individuals, living or dead, or to any actual places, business establishments, locations, events or incidents. Any resemblance is entirely coincidental.
By payment of the required fees, you are granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right and licence to download and install this e-book on your personal computer, tablet computer, smart phone or other electronic reading device only (each a “Licensed Device”) and to access, display and read the text of this e-book on-screen on your Licensed Device. Except to the extent any of these acts shall be permitted pursuant to any mandatory provision of applicable law but no further, no part of this e-book or its text or images may be reproduced, transmitted, distributed, translated, converted or adapted for use on another file format, communicated to the public, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of publisher.
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www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
“Max! You’re not listening to me.”
“Eleanor, I’m hearing you loud and clear. Now you’re not listening to me. I don’t do threats. I don’t do ultimatums. I have a real opportunity to collect meaningful data that might help people really see what’s happening to our planet. I’m sorry but that’s more important than four months of our marriage.”
“No, Max,” she said sadly. “What you mean is that it’s more important than me.”
“Nor...”
She took a step away. “Stay safe.”
“I’ll see you in four months.”
She shook her head. “No. You won’t.”
He wrapped a hand around her neck and forced her to hold still for his kiss. Not that he ever had to force her to kiss him. Kissing Max Harper was her own particular addiction.
And this might be their last kiss.
Knowing that, she clung to him. Wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him everything that she was. Everything that she ever would be.
Until finally she couldn’t take it anymore and she pulled away.
When she did, she was crying. “I love you, Max Harper.”
“I know. Which is how I know I’ll see you in four months.”
Dear Reader (#u661cda67-d377-529b-b1bb-6732da84ea90),
Does anyone remember the TV show General Hospital? I used to love soap operas growing up as a kid. There was always that favorite character who “died”...which really meant he or she tried to get a job in a movie or a nighttime TV show. If that didn’t happen, he or she could always miraculously return in dramatic fashion as undead.
That germ was the basis for Max and Eleanor. A couple who truly loved each other, but it wasn’t enough to keep them together. However, when something life changing happens, it’s easy to see how priorities can shift.
I hope you root for this couple as much as I did while writing them.
I love to hear from readers, so you can find me at stephaniedoyle.net (http://stephaniedoyle.net).
Stephanie
Contents
Cover (#u82bb2882-7786-5b95-870c-2f5eca6a74cd)
Back Cover Text (#ub8766136-9f76-5b22-82d9-99dfff1e9da5)
About the Author (#u2a07bcf1-5c9f-57c2-be23-0bffcbabb98c)
Booklist (#u66498549-db6b-5a72-9dec-4a03dd373cb7)
Title Page (#u85599abb-6e00-5043-b247-2e17c6bb6025)
Copyright (#u2992e112-777b-593a-9b8e-5c3028a3f0ac)
Introduction (#u5c6d425b-c0d6-55f3-841d-2956435d2a34)
Dear Reader (#u960448eb-e6ce-5d7a-b3dc-0b3b3ee0b2cc)
Chapter One (#ua56ca7d9-4bad-5a8f-969e-43d4d0ca29b8)
Chapter Two (#u2bc534ab-b317-57c0-af0e-38566354f6f0)
Chapter Three (#uda63f299-6d86-5b73-996c-8cdc4e24b5ed)
Chapter Four (#u406dfb03-9ea1-56e5-a31f-2e152d8351a0)
Chapter Five (#uad7c47d2-78b9-58fa-ae31-27e8d8879f2b)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fifteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Sixteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seventeen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eighteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nineteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-One (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter One (#u661cda67-d377-529b-b1bb-6732da84ea90)
Trondheim Research Facility, Norway
“I CAN’T BELIEVE you right now,” Eleanor Harper shouted at her husband even as he walked down the stairs away from her.
“Nor, I’m not going to have this fight,” he said over his shoulder.
“No! No! You are going to have this fight. We are going to have this fight. Max, stop!”
He stopped at the door, his packed duffel bag slung over his shoulder. He turned to her, and she could see it in his expression. Before he even opened his mouth, she knew that he wasn’t going to back down.
That all the yelling and pleading and begging in the world wasn’t going to change this.
He huffed. “Nor! This is who I am. This is what I do. Do you get that? I’m an oceanographer who studies the impact of climate change on the ocean. This planet is dying one damn inch at a time. I have to do this work now. We’ve talked about this before. I thought I had your support.”
That wasn’t fair. This wasn’t about her not supporting his work. “You do have my support. You have all the support a wife should give to her husband, but where is my support? You dragged me to this research facility, and I said fine. I’ll go where you go. No questions asked. Then as soon as we get here you’re turning around and leaving me. For months at a time. I have no friends here, no family.”
Max rolled his eyes. “Oh, please, Nor, don’t sit there and tell me you’re pining away for your mother.”
“That’s not the point. Like it or not, she’s my mother. I miss my family. My sister. I miss my life back home. And none of that would matter if I had you. But now you tell me you’re leaving me again. Not for three months this time, but four months. That’s almost half of a year. I’m supposed to just sit around here and wait for you?”
Eleanor watched as he dropped the duffel on the floor beside him. Maybe she was getting through to him.
“It’s not fair, Max. It’s not, and you can’t tell me otherwise.”
He walked toward her and put his hands on her shoulders, pressed his forehead to hers.
So close she could smell him. She loved the scent of him. No matter how long he’d been on shore, to her he always smelled like the ocean.
“Nor, look at me. There are times you have to accept that some things are bigger than any one person. Bigger than any one relationship. Four months is nothing to us. A blip in our life.”
She shook her head and stepped out of his reach. “No, it’s four months this time. Then five months the next time. Then a year after that. It’s always going to be you needing to be on the ocean finding more and more data. Thinking you can prove that climate change is happening and suddenly everyone will listen to you.”
“Yes, Nor. The data I collect. It’s important. Not just for me but for everyone on this planet.”
“You have to make a choice. You have to choose. A life with me or a life on the ocean. But you can’t have both.”
He frowned. “Ultimatums? You’re sitting there, right now, issuing me an ultimatum. How crappy is that?”
Eleanor could feel tears welling up, but she worked hard to make sure her voice didn’t crack when she said it. “Max, do you love me?”
“With everything I am.”
She smiled sadly. Because it was true. It’s what she felt every day. But only when he was here. Only when he was with her. They had dated a mere seven months before he proposed. Before she accepted. Her mother had thought the proposal had come too soon. So much so that she refused to put together any kind of wedding until the two of them came to their senses and waited at least a year.
Giving Eleanor no option other than the obvious one. They’d eloped. To this day, almost three years later, her mother was still furious about it.
“We’ve been married nearly three years, and in that time we’ve only been together eighteen months. I can’t...I can’t...keep doing this.”
“Well, maybe it’s time you thought about your own passions.”
It felt like a slap of some kind. “What?”
“Look, I know it’s hard when I’m gone. It’s hard for me, too. You think I like spending my days with a bunch of other smelly scientists and rough sailors on the freezing cold Arctic Ocean? I like spending my days with you. I like spending my nights with my wife. I like screwing my wife. I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t think it was vitally important. So while I’m gone, maybe you need to find that thing, too. The thing you think is important.”
“I think you’re important,” Eleanor told him. Not sure why he was saying what he was saying.
“Nor, I can’t be the only thing in your life. That is not the woman I married. You’re not this clingy weak thing. You are Eleanor Gaffney. You’re the girl who shook off her small Nebraska town, who found a way to put herself through school. You were going to rule the world. What happened to that girl?”
You married her and took her to a research facility in northern Norway. Eleanor wanted to say those things, but it sounded pathetic in her own head. Then she did the only thing she could think of, the thing they had both talked about having.
“We talked about getting pregnant this year,” she said.
Another snort. “Really? You’re pulling the baby card?”
The sound of his disbelief made her furious. “A baby is not a card. It’s supposed to be about having family. It’s what we both talked about wanting. We talked about doing it this year!”
“Are you pregnant now?”
“No,” she told him.
“Then when I get back in four months, we’ll talk about this. But I mean it, Nor, you need to find out what you want to do with yourself, with your life. Because being my wife, and hell, being the mother to our future children, isn’t enough. You need something for you.”
“I studied business! What the hell am I supposed to do with that in Trondheim? Create an ice-selling business? Oh, I know! What about a new pickled herring recipe?”
He had the audacity to smile at her. “Are you going to kiss me goodbye? I’m running late as it is.”
Eleanor shook her head as it finally settled on her. The truth. He was leaving. He was leaving, and his answer to that was she needed to find a hobby that would occupy her time while he was away.
This was going to be her life. Watching him leave and waiting for him to come back. She hadn’t known that’s what it would be when she married him. She didn’t know that going in or she would have...
You would have married him anyway. Your mother was right. You’re too stubborn for your own good.
“I don’t think you understand what I’ve been trying to tell you. If you leave me, I’m leaving you.”
Eleanor watched as his whole body tensed.
Max shook his head. “You don’t mean it.”
“Look at me, Max.” Eleanor stood in front of him, and she knew in her heart she meant every word she said. It would take all her courage to leave him, but she would do it. “I love you. Like no one I’ve ever loved before. But I can’t spend my life doing this. Watching you leave. So it might break me, but if you leave, then I’m gone.”
“I’m not going to be brought to heel by my wife,” he snapped. “I’m not your damn dog.”
“I’m not trying to do that. I’m trying to save our marriage. You think love is enough.”
“It should be,” he shouted.
“It’s not. It’s about compromise and working together and finding a solution. It’s not about you telling me the day before, Sorry, babe, I need to leave for a while, and that while is four months.”
“The funding came though from Tom yesterday. I had no control over that. Or when the ship leaves. I told you that, too.”
“Max! You’re not listening to me.”
“Eleanor, I’m hearing you loud and clear. Now you’re not listening to me. I don’t do threats. I don’t do ultimatums. I have a real opportunity to collect meaningful data that might help people really see what’s happening to our planet. I’m sorry, but that’s more important than four months of our marriage.”
She swallowed as the words penetrated her skull. “No, Max,” she said sadly. “What you mean is that it’s more important than me.”
“Nor...”
She took a step away. “Stay safe.”
“I’ll see you in four months.”
She shook her head. “No. You won’t.”
He wrapped a hand around her neck and forced her to hold still for his kiss. Not that he ever had to force her to kiss him. Kissing Max Harper was her own particular addiction.
And this might be their last kiss.
Knowing that, she clung to him. Wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him everything that she was. Everything that she ever would be.
Until finally she couldn’t take it anymore and she pulled away.
When she did, she was crying. “I love you, Max Harper.”
“I know. Which is how I know I’ll see you in four months.”
Four months later
HE HADN’T BELIEVED HER. When she said she would leave him, he just couldn’t believe she would do it. They loved each other. Sometimes almost too much. It was a scary thing to know how vulnerable you were when you loved someone that much.
Which was why he hadn’t believed her when she said she would leave him.
Except the empty house told its own story. So did the people they were renting it from.
Mrs. Harper had left months ago. Right after he left on his trip.
The only thing waiting for him was a large brown envelope with the name of an attorney’s office in the upper left corner.
He wasn’t going to open it. He wasn’t going to see what she chose to throw away. He was going to do what he needed to do, then he was going after her.
He’d come home with a sick feeling of dread in his stomach. Not because he even entertained the idea that she would leave him. He looked at his life, his work as if he was at war. Against time, against the forces of nature and the forces of mankind. He was a soldier, and their marriage was like any other military marriage. One where he would need to be deployed from time to time.
So the feeling of dread he’d felt coming home was knowing he would have to tell her that he was turning around and heading out in a few weeks. The financing for yet another extension had come through.
He’d expected more shouting, more fighting. He’d thought he could power through all of that with some mind-blowing sex that would remind her of what they had. How incendiary they could be.
He’d thought wrong.
It didn’t matter. Max stared at the brown envelope with his name on it, then dumped it in the trash, unopened.
He would fix this. He would head out to sea for just a few more weeks, finish what he needed to finish, then he would go find her. Because there was no world he could live in where they weren’t together.
Nor was angry. She was hurt. He knew that. But he also knew he could fix both those things. One more trip, then they could move forward with their life together.
Three months later
“SELENA?” ELEANOR CALLED to her assistant. Selena had been the first official employee of Head to Toe, Eleanor’s start-up company. “The red or burgundy?”
Eleanor held the ties against the mannequin’s neck.
Selena assessed the outfit, then nodded. “The red.”
“I agree.”
The two were working in the space Eleanor had recently rented. It was an open loft area in downtown Denver that would be perfect as they continued to expand. Running Head to Toe out of her apartment just wasn’t practical anymore.
The business was a simple concept directed at busy single men. Head to Toe put together a complete outfit that would fit whatever need those men had. An outfit composed by women who knew what they were doing.
Don’t have a woman in your life who can tell you what tie to wear? What color looks best on you? That, no, that belt and those shoes don’t match. Try Head to Toe!
It had been the banner that ran along the top of the website, and, with the help of some targeted Facebook ads, orders had started to pour in. Business casual, formal, club scene and even the local bar look. They told Eleanor what they liked to wear, how they wanted to look, and Eleanor put together the perfect outfit for them. As the orders continued to come, she spent more time focusing on advertising. Now her market research was generating real results.
So much that, beyond the warehouse people she’d hired to handle shipping and Selena—whom she had hired a few months ago to help keep up with orders—Eleanor was now looking to expand further with a dedicated client service support team.
Which meant filling the loft with office furniture and computers.
A sign on the door.
Actually, she needed the door first.
It had become what felt like a 24/7 effort on her part, but she didn’t mind the work. Watching something grow under her efforts was one of the most satisfying things she’d ever done.
Beyond that, the constant workload stopped her from thinking about Max.
Most days.
She heard a hesitant knock on the doorframe, which outlined the entrance to the space. Eleanor assumed it was her next interview. She was looking for someone with experience who could help her grow both a design team as well as a customer service department.
While there were men out there who had no problem navigating the online site, some men had a harder time using the tools provided to get a sense of what their own personal style was.
They liked talking directly to Eleanor and Selena, but quite frankly, neither could keep up with the phone calls any longer.
Eleanor peeked around the mannequin, startled to find Harry. Her former father-in-law.
Or more accurately current father-in-law as Max had yet to sign the divorce papers. Eleanor assumed he was being stubborn, but she couldn’t imagine how that was supposed to be a strategy for him.
Any hope she’d had about their marriage had gone out the door when four months after she left him ticked by on her calendar and she hadn’t heard from him. Not even an irate call at some off hour because he’d be phoning her from Norway to tell her to go eff herself.
Instead, there had been only silence. Which hurt more than anything. Because it told her, more than all of his professions of love, that leaving her had been too easy for him. Where for her, if it hadn’t been for her idea for this business, she might have crawled into a hole and stayed there forever.
Maybe Harry had come as an envoy. With the papers. To put an end to the marriage finally.
Eleanor walked through the open loft to meet him. She’d seen both him and Sarah when she’d gotten back. She’d considered them her family, and it had been almost as devastating to tell them she was leaving as it had been actually leaving Max.
She knew they didn’t understand. She knew she’d hurt them. But Max had left her with no options.
“Hello, Harry.”
“Nor,” he said, using Max’s nickname for her. Max had always felt Eleanor was too regal, and since he was no damn king, he liked to call her by a name that was his and his alone.
It hurt, she thought. Even after all this time. Eleanor had lost her own father when she was just eighteen. Having Harry in her life had filled a hole that had been empty. Divorcing Max had brought back even that pain. The pain of not having that father figure in her world, who was always there with a ready hug to tell her everything was going to be okay.
“How is Sarah?”
He didn’t look good, Eleanor thought. He looked older than she remembered when it had been only a few months since she’d last seen him. Suddenly now, she was worried. Was someone sick?
“I don’t know how to tell you this,” he said gruffly. “So I’m just going to come out and say it. Max is...Max is gone.”
“Gone? What do you mean? Off on another assignment? I suppose I assumed that.”
Harry shook his head. “No. After he got back from the last assignment, he called us to tell us what happened with you two. We told him you had been by to see us and explain. He said they had gotten additional funding, and he was going to do another month at sea. That as soon as he got back he was going to come home to the States and fix things between you two. I told him he should do that now. I told him how serious you seemed about the whole thing. That you had said you wanted a divorce. But you know how stubborn he can be.”
She did. She knew exactly how stubborn he could be.
“The ship...it’s gone. They think it went down in a storm. They’ve been looking for weeks and weeks. But there is no communication and no sign of it on any radar. I just got a call from the university today. They told us at this point we have to assume there were no survivors.”
He stopped talking, and Eleanor took a second to process what he was saying.
Max was on a ship. The ship was gone. There were no survivors.
Max was dead.
It was the strangest thing she ever did, but she laughed. Actually laughed at her husband’s grieving father. She reached out and gently touched him on the arm.
“Oh, Harry, Max isn’t dead. He can’t be.”
She would know it if he was dead. She would feel it. Her plan in life was to hate Max Harper every day from now until the day she died. A lifetime of hating him for not putting her first. For not choosing correctly when he had a choice between his work or her.
A lifetime of it.
He couldn’t be dead.
“I’m sorry, sweetie. I know things didn’t end well between you two. Sarah and I were both so sad about that.”
“He’s not dead, Harry. I would know it.”
He nodded. “Sarah says the same. But we can only go by what the experts are telling us, and they have officially declared him dead. We’re going to hold a service, and we would appreciate it if you were there. No matter how you two ended, you were family. His and ours for a time.”
Harry patted her hand, then turned to leave. Eleanor shook her head, still not understanding what had happened. There was no way this could be right. No way she was going to lose Max.
Again.
She stumbled back to her desk in the center of the loft and pulled up her laptop.
“Eleanor? Everything okay?”
She ignored her assistant while she typed Max Harper Oceanographer in a Google search page.
And there it was on her screen.
Max Harper, renowned oceanographer and climate scientist, declared dead along with the crew of the ship the Savior.
She fell to her knees, and Selena immediately crouched on the floor next to her.
“Eleanor, what’s wrong? What’s the matter? Are you sick?”
No, she thought. I’m not sick. I’m dead.
Chapter Two (#u661cda67-d377-529b-b1bb-6732da84ea90)
Two and a half years later
“A TOAST! TO my lovely daughter and her fiancé. I, as I’m sure everyone here does, wish them the most happiness. And I know my dear husband, Frank, is smiling down on them from heaven.”
Eleanor looked at her mother in the center of the room and smiled even as she lifted her glass in the air. She glanced at her sister, Allie, and her fiancé, Mike, and was happy to see they seemed to be having a nice time.
The house was filled with family and friends for the engagement party. A party she knew Allie and Mike didn’t originally want, hoping to keep things as low-key as possible. They had just announced their engagement last week, and no sooner had that happened than Marilyn was planning the party despite Allie’s objections. However, Marilyn was insistent, and, in the Gaffney household, whatever Marilyn wanted, Marilyn got.
Whether her children felt the same or not.
The wedding was almost a year away, but Eleanor had already agreed to take time from her company to make sure she could attend all the various activities. Tonight was just the start. Eventually there would be a bridal shower, then the bachelorette party, the rehearsal dinner, all culminating in what Marilyn Gaffney was proclaiming would be the event of the season in the town of Hartsville, Nebraska, next June.
Given that the population of Hartsville was just a little over five thousand citizens, any wedding that happened in town usually was the event of the season.
“Some champagne?”
Eleanor turned at the sound of the voice behind her. Daniel, her date for the evening, held up two flutes. She gladly accepted one.
“Thank you. You may need to keep this coming.”
“You seem to be getting along with your mother,” he said in a lowered voice. “From everything you had told me on the drive here, I was expecting something a little more dramatic between you two.”
“I’m trying to do everything I can to avoid the drama. Mom and I are fine as long as I’m agreeing with her. It’s when I don’t that things become difficult. Take this party, for example. Completely unnecessary. We’re going to be seeing all these same people at the wedding. What’s the point of doing it twice?”
Daniel raised an eyebrow. “What’s the point of any party? To have fun.”
Eleanor looked at Allie and Mike again. They were still smiling, still chatting with the people around them. They looked like what they were. A couple in love. A couple who was excited about their future.
And Eleanor was happy for them.
All this wedding paraphernalia didn’t bother her. Not in the least. That’s what she was telling herself anyway, and she could be very convincing when she needed to be.
Still, she knew everything on the surface wasn’t always as it appeared.
“I know my sister. It’s going to be hard enough for her to be the center of attention for a day. To keep this up for the next year will be laborious. A wedding shouldn’t be that much work.”
“Speaking of weddings...do you like big ones or small ones? Just so I can get an idea.”
“Daniel,” she said with a soft sigh.
“I hate that sigh, you know. I was only teasing.”
Was he? It was hard to know with Daniel. He liked to call himself a man of action, and that was true. He was always very persistent in getting what he wanted. Much like her mother.
Like convincing her to go out with him when she’d refused him for months.
“This is only our second date. I think it’s a little too soon to talk about weddings, don’t you?”
He gripped his chest in mock pain. “What? You’re not counting all those lunches?”
“They were business lunches,” she reminded him.
“One woman’s business lunch, another man’s date.”
“So you’re saying you have no real interest in investing in Head to Toe?”
He sipped his champagne. “I wouldn’t say that exactly. No.”
“That’s what I thought,” Eleanor said smugly. “Daniel, I agreed to go out with you. I agreed to bring you here so you could meet my family. But you know where my head is right now. Head to Toe is getting bigger every day, and it has to be my number-one priority. I’ve told you my plans.”
“You have. Or you could turn those plans over to me and let them be my number-one priority. Then you could go back to focusing on...other areas of your life.”
Again, she thought he was teasing, but it was hard to tell. Their relationship had started when Daniel, an investment banker, had shown interest in the growth rate of her company located in Denver. He’d asked her out to lunch to discuss the idea of what a large cash infusion could mean. She’d rejected the idea at first, but then the idea to get ahead of the game by growing her company at an accelerated rate seemed compelling.
Which led to another lunch.
Which led to her thinking Daniel himself was rather attractive. It might have been the first time in years she had even registered a man’s appearance. That had to be a good thing, she told herself.
In the end, Daniel hadn’t swayed her with his pitch. Head to Toe was her baby, and a cash investment from someone else meant giving part of it away. Whereas, if she took a loan out for the money to expand, it would still be hers. One was riskier, but the other was tantamount to giving over part control of the business. She didn’t know if she was willing to do that.
Daniel, however, had not been willing to walk away, either.
She would have thought his interest was solely in the company until he surprised her on lunch number two by asking her out on a date. Of course, she said no, for any number of reasons. But he persisted until she got to that point where she realized there was absolutely no reason for her not to go out on a date with him.
He was an intelligent, handsome, sometimes funny man. She liked him. A date made sense. A date might make her normal again. Two years was a long time to grieve a marriage that she had chosen to end.
They’d had an elegant dinner. They had agreed not to talk about work.
It had been...nice.
So she’d asked him to come to this party with her. Only now, he was suggesting there was something missing in her life.
“And what areas would those be?”
“I don’t know. Maybe thinking about other things than your company. Other things you want in life. You were married once. Don’t you think about getting married again?”
Eleanor flinched. “I don’t like to talk about my marriage.”
Because it was hers. Her marriage. Her memories. And talking about Max...thinking about him hurt too much.
“I can see why this would be painful to discuss...”
“We are at a party,” Eleanor said, raising her glass to her lips trying to change the subject. “Didn’t you say something about it being fun?”
This time it was Daniel who sighed.
“Eleanor, you have to see that I care about you.”
Did she? Did she have to see that? After a bunch of lunches and two dates—the second one not even finished yet. They hadn’t even had sex yet. She didn’t want to think about how even the idea of sex with him made her feel.
Disloyal was the best word she could come up with.
“I only want what is best for you. I feel sometimes like I’m battling this ghost.”
“You’re not.”
“We haven’t talked about this. I’m not sure I know how you feel about children—”
Eleanor pierced him with a look that stopped that sentence. If she wasn’t comfortable talking about her marriage, then she certainly wasn’t comfortable discussing the subject of children with Daniel. Definitely not on a second date.
“There you are!” Marilyn proclaimed as she approached them. “You’re not mingling. Everyone is asking about you, but it seems no one is getting a chance to talk with you.”
For the first time in her life, Eleanor was happy to be admonished by her mother. Anything to get Daniel to stop talking about Max and babies.
“Sorry, Mom. Daniel and I were just having a conversation.”
Marilyn smiled and patted his arm. “Yes, yes. I’m very happy with your new young man, but you two can talk all you want when you’re back in the big city. For now, I would like my daughter to be available for her family.”
“Yes, of course,” Daniel said graciously. “We’ll make our way around the room.”
“That would be lovely. I do hope it’s not too inconvenient that we have you at the B and B in town. I know I’m old-fashioned. However, until a couple is married, I just don’t feel comfortable with them sharing a room—”
“Mom.” Eleanor had told her mother only that she was bringing someone she was currently seeing. She definitely hadn’t gone into detail about their sexual status. “It’s fine. Daniel is only staying for tonight. He has to head back to the city tomorrow.”
Her mother made a face as if the word city was distasteful. Probably because she associated Denver with Eleanor’s business, something else she found distasteful. Her mother still clung to the belief that a woman’s first priority should be securing a husband and having children.
Eleanor had done half of that and had failed. Since then she hadn’t been eager to repeat the experience.
Her business, however, was a nice replacement. Way less pain and heartbreak. More control and financial benefit. As far as Eleanor was concerned, if she never got married again, it wouldn’t be the most tragic thing to happen to her.
Because the most tragic thing had already happened.
Her mother was obviously not pleased by that attitude. It meant fewer grandchildren.
“Oh. Well, let’s hope you’re still in Eleanor’s life for the wedding.”
“I promise to do everything I can to make sure I’m back for that. In the meantime, this will be the first weekend Eleanor’s been away from her company in some time. I hope she has time for some relaxation.”
“Of course it will be relaxing,” Marilyn stated, turning to Eleanor. “She’ll be with family. Now, speaking of, your father’s sister and brother want to talk with you. I suggest you start with them. Since your father’s been gone, they claim to feel left out of your and your sister’s lives. I’m making every effort to change that with this wedding.”
Eleanor didn’t miss the emphasis on the word this. Five years later and she was still being punished for her elopement to Max. One would have thought, considering what she went through with his death, she might have been forgiven.
But her mother had a long memory.
“Yes, Mom. I’ll head over to them shortly.”
Marilyn left them, and Eleanor could hear her greeting some new guests as they came through the front door.
“She really does love to play the hostess,” Daniel noted.
“Yes, she does. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to make small talk with my family, so they can get as much gossip out of me as possible. Most of them want to know how much money I’m making. Truly, they are not even subtle about it.”
Daniel laughed. “I think I’ll stand in this corner and drink myself silly. Mike already promised he would drive me to the B and B.”
“Yes, poor Mike. He and Allie live together on his farm in North Platte, but now my mother is making him pay for a room. It’s so impractical. But Marilyn’s house, Marilyn’s rules.”
“Hmm,” Daniel said. “A strong-minded woman. Sounds like someone else I know.”
Eleanor gasped. “Are you comparing me to my mother? Daniel Reynolds. That’s grounds for murder!”
He laughed again. “I believe you have small talk to make.”
“I’m on it.”
Eleanor had no problem with mingling. Unlike Allie, Eleanor was used to being the center of attention every day at work. Daniel had been accurate. This really was going to be her first real break from the office since its inception almost three years ago. An office that had started with her, then Selena, now housed an IT staff, a customer service department, an advertising and sales department and a buying department comprised mostly of part-time, stay-at-home moms. Eleanor also had a bookkeeper, but now even Shelly was complaining she needed help to keep up.
Yet another hire. Of course that meant the company was growing, which was a good thing, Eleanor told herself.
The point was she dealt with dozens of people, of varying personalities, all day long. Working a room, making people feel comfortable, listening to them was all part of her daily routine. After an hour of small talk, she managed to find her way to Allie and Mike.
Allie’s smile was in place, but Eleanor could see the tension in her shoulders, the strain in her face.
“How are you holding up?” Eleanor asked.
“I’m fine. I’m great. This is amazing.”
“Allie, seriously? This is me you’re talking to.”
“Seriously. I figured out the best way to get through all of this is just to accept it. Mom wanted a party. Mom gets a party. Then in less than a year, after the actual wedding, all of this will be over.”
Eleanor could feel the anger rising. “Allie, your wedding isn’t something to get through. It’s supposed to be about what you want. What you both want?”
Mike chuckled. “Wait a minute. You mean I’m a part of this? That’s news.”
Allie rolled her eyes. “Mike. Please. I need you on my side. This is hard enough as it is.”
Mike, Eleanor thought, was the prototype of a Nebraskan farmer. Medium height, stocky, strong build. He wore a beard that he didn’t always maintain—much to Marilyn’s dismay—so it was hard to know if he was handsome or not.
Allie thought he was, though. Allie thought Mike was the single best man in the universe.
Eleanor knew because Allie looked at him like Eleanor used to look at Max.
“Allie, I’m on your side,” Mike told her. “Always. And I’m trying to do everything you’re asking. But Eleanor’s not wrong. This should be about us and what we want. You know what we didn’t want? This party. You know what I don’t want? Having to go out with every male relative you have as part of my bachelor party. Your uncle’s been hinting at strippers all night. I’m not looking at naked women with your creepy Uncle Bob.”
“Uncle Bob is not creepy,” Allie whispered.
Eleanor nodded and mouthed, Sooo creepy.
“Guys, I know you’re trying to help. But you’re not. You,” Allie said, pointing at Eleanor, “don’t know what Mom has been like.”
“I don’t know my own mother?”
“You don’t know what she’s been like about this wedding. Everything has to be different than last time. Everything you didn’t do, I have to do, and it all has to be perfect. She’s scheduled no less than five dress fittings. Seriously? How many times do I have to see if a dress fits?”
Eleanor tried to swallow her irritation. She felt the guilt, but it was unreasonable. She didn’t want her sister to suffer because of her elopement, but at the same time this was her mother’s doing, not hers.
“Why did you agree to it? You are a grown woman, about to get married. Why can’t you say no to her?”
“Because I’m the only one who cares about making her happy,” Allie fired back. “And she knows it. Why can’t you ever say yes to something?”
“I’m here, aren’t I?”
“Yes and already complaining.”
“Time out,” Mike intervened. “This is getting heated, and people are starting to notice. We all promised to play nice.”
Eleanor checked herself. Mike was right. This party, which was stressing her sister out already, wasn’t the place to challenge her to say no to their mother. And, she had to admit to herself, maybe she wasn’t as unaffected as she thought she could be.
It’s not like any of this would bring back particular memories.
There had been no engagement party. No bachelor party. No large ceremony. No family and friends.
Just her and Max in front of a judge in a small town in Nevada. He’d given her a bouquet of daisies to hold.
Eleanor lifted her head, looking around the room for Daniel. She saw that he was talking to her cousin, Marissa.
Check that. Her cousin Marissa was desperately flirting with him. He seemed unaffected. A point in his favor as Marissa was quite attractive.
Then Eleanor turned to focus on her sister again. “You’re right. I’m sorry. If you’re willing to be whatever you need to be for Mom, then I’m willing to be whatever you need. I want this to be a happy time for you.”
Allie nodded. “Okay, well, get ready. Here she comes, and she doesn’t look happy...like at all. She must have run out of something. Please let it not be the liquor.”
Eleanor saw her mother approaching, and it was true. She was nearly ashen. Her makeup unable to hide whatever had shocked her.
“Eleanor,” she began, then stopped. She put her hand over her heart and took a few breaths.
“Mom, what is it? Are you having chest pains? Do we need to call an ambulance?”
Fear gripped Eleanor. A sudden heart attack was how they had lost her father all those years ago.
“No, it’s nothing like that. Just a shock. We have a...guest. I’ve asked him to wait in your father’s study. I don’t want to upset the party and ruin Allie’s night. Eleanor, come with me. Just you. Alone.”
Eleanor had no concept of why her mother needed her alone. Or why a guest had to be sent to her father’s study. An old high school friend? Or more likely a frenemy. There was Tony Santino, whom she dated for a while in high school until he ended up cheating on her with her best friend. Definitely not someone she would enjoy seeing again. Then again, there was no reason why he’d be here tonight. He’d been three years ahead of Allie in school.
Marilyn turned the corner, then stopped in front of the door to the study. Really? Whoever was inside was so startling he needed to be shut in?
“Mom, what is this?”
Marilyn was wringing her hands, clearly upset.
“There’s nothing to do,” she said eventually. “You’ll just have to go in. I’ll go let your sister know what’s happening.”
With that, her mother left. Cautiously, Eleanor opened the door. Inside was a man. He stood by the windows. Tall, his back to her. His hair was dark with a little gray woven through it. Something about the way he held himself. His hands clasped behind his back. His legs separated like the floor was the bow of ship and he needed the extra balance.
She knew that pose. She knew those shoulders. But of course, none of that was possible.
Then he turned. His face was weathered, more weathered than three years ago. But it was his face.
The face of her dead husband.
“Hey, Nor.”
Immediately she bent over and threw up the champagne she’d been drinking onto her pretty Jimmy Choo pumps. It was as if her whole body was rejecting what she was seeing.
He took a step toward her, and she held up a hand to keep him at bay.
“How is this happening?” she muttered, still bent over.
“I know this is a shock. I didn’t know how else to do this. I came home and my parents—”
“Your parents are dead. You’re dead.”
These were two things she knew to be true. A year after Max was officially declared dead, Harry and Sarah were in a car accident. As Max had been their only son, Eleanor, even though she’d been trying to get a divorce at the time of their son’s death, was their only remaining family. She’d been listed as the emergency contact.
She’d arranged the funeral, the sale of their home. But she’d kept the cabin in the mountains. How could she not?
“I didn’t know how to find you. I did some internet searches. I found your company, but then I saw the announcement of Allie getting married. It mentioned the engagement party tonight. I knew you would be here.”
“Stop talking,” Eleanor snapped. She couldn’t process this. She couldn’t accept the fact that she was seeing him again. He was dead.
For more than two years, he’d been dead.
For more than two years, she’d been dead.
“You died,” she said as if she had to explain some fundamental truth to him.
“I didn’t.”
“How?”
He sighed. “That’s a very long story.”
She looked at him. Full-on. It was only then that she realized she had been looking at him like he was the sun. Indirectly. As if she would go blind if she stared at him full-on.
“You’re here,” she said. “You. Are. Here.”
He nodded. “I am.”
The door opened.
“Eleanor, are you all right? I saw you come in here alone. Oh, hello. And you are?” Daniel said, looking over at the stranger in the room.
Eleanor finally was able to stand straight. Her stomach no longer in jeopardy of upheaving anything. Her knees were shaky, but she was fairly certain she wasn’t going to faint.
“Daniel, this is...this is...”
“Max Harper,” Max said, reaching out to shake Daniel’s hand.
Daniel’s eyes got wide. “Oh, my goodness. You’re...you’re...”
“I’m Eleanor’s not-dead husband.”
Chapter Three (#u661cda67-d377-529b-b1bb-6732da84ea90)
“AND YOU ARE?” Max asked.
He knew. In his heart of hearts, he knew coming back here now might be too late. But he had to try. Of course she would have moved on. Of course she would have remarried.
She might have done that even if he hadn’t been declared dead.
He looked at her again because he could. Because he was alive, standing in her family home—a place he’d been to on a couple occasions during their short marriage. He knew she was experiencing shock. But it wasn’t all that different for him, either.
Because there was a time when he never thought he would see her again.
Eleanor.
She’d always been beautiful. Long, chestnut hair, dark brown eyes. Lips that were a smidge bigger than they should, which made every man around her want to kiss them.
Two and half years had only added to that beauty. Instead of the young woman he’d first met, full of all the hope and excitement of the future that was coming, now she was fully a woman.
He’d loved that young woman. Desperately. This person he wanted to get to know. If she would give him a chance. If this man wasn’t who Max suspected he was.
He held his breath waiting for the introduction.
Waiting to hear the word husband.
“I’m Daniel Reynolds. Eleanor’s date for this evening. And this suddenly got very awkward.”
Date. Not husband. Not boyfriend. Date. The relief was palpable.
Max turned his attention to Eleanor, who was slipping out of her shoes.
“I need to run upstairs and freshen up. Max...” It was as if she was having a hard time saying his name, like she could barely push the word out of her mouth. “Max...you need to stay in here. I don’t want to needlessly...upset anyone.”
Except the door swung open, and Max turned his attention to the newest arrival.
“It’s true! Oh, my God. You’re alive. Max!” Allie ran to him and flew into his arms. He caught Eleanor’s sister and swirled her around.
“Allie,” he said into her pretty, soft brown hair. Finally. Someone who was actually happy to see him. Happy that he was alive. He’d adored Allie as if she’d been his real little sister. He’d known the feeling was mutual. Now, here she was in his arms, clinging to him.
Quite the opposite of her sister, Eleanor.
After too long a moment, he finally set her down. “Look at you. You’re all grown up.”
She beamed at him, and he wanted to ingest that smile because it was something else he never thought he would see again.
“This is—I can’t even... How is this possible?”
“Apparently, it’s a very long story,” Eleanor said.
A man walked in behind Allie, then shut the door.
“Mike,” Allie said, clearly getting emotional. “It’s Max. He’s alive.”
“Better than dead, I imagine,” Mike said, obviously trying to keep things light.
Max liked him instantly.
“A lot better than dead,” Max agreed.
“Mike Davies.”
“Max Harper.”
Max shook the man’s hand and assessed him. A little taller than Allie. A little stockier. He had a firm handshake and made direct eye contact. And when he looked at Allie it was as if the only thing that mattered right now was how she was dealing with the situation.
Yes. Max approved of Mike. As her pseudo older brother, he knew that would mean something to Allie.
“I don’t know about anyone else, but I need a drink.” This came from Daniel. The Date. “Can I get anyone anything?”
“Bourbon,” Max said. “If you have it.”
“Of course we have bourbon,” Eleanor said as if he’d suggested something ridiculous.
She was flustered. She was still processing. She wore a stunning navy dress, and suddenly he realized he wanted everyone to leave so that he could be alone with his wife.
“Okay, okay,” she muttered. As if she was a general coming up with a game plan. “Here is what we’re going to do. Daniel, if you would be so kind to bring the bottle of bourbon back here, that would be great. I’m going to clean champagne off my favorite pair of shoes. Allie and Mike, you have to go out there and mingle. If you stay in here, people will wonder what’s happening. I don’t want anyone to see him.”
“Why not?” her sister asked. “He’s alive. It’s not like he has to be hidden.”
“Allie,” Eleanor snapped again. “Please. I get you’re happy to see him. But I think we all need to remember...how things were between Max and me...before...”
“I died. Except I didn’t.”
Eleanor looked at him then, and he remembered that expression. It was her way of telling him to go shut it. He’d missed that look. He’d missed everything about her.
Daniel. Date. Not boyfriend. Not husband. Date.
He could work with that.
“Eleanor...” Allie said as if this was something she was willing to put up a fight over.
“Allie, do what your sister says,” Max said. “This isn’t going to be easy. For any of us. We’ll catch up later. You can tell me if this guy is worthy of you.”
She beamed again, only this time it clearly wasn’t for him. “He is. He so is.”
Mike took Allie’s hand and led her out of the room. Daniel left behind them. Then it was just Eleanor and Max.
“You could have called,” she accused him.
“I didn’t have your number.”
It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the full truth, either. He’d looked her up online. He knew she was the founder and CEO of a start-up company called Head to Toe. That had been his original plan. To find the address of her company. To see her there.
But when the engagement announcement popped up under his Allie Gaffney alert, this had seemed like a better opportunity. More personal.
They were also the only family he had left.
Max thought he would be coming home to two devastated parents and a ticked-off almost ex-wife. He hadn’t expected his parents’ deaths. How could he?
He’d been by the graveyard. He’d seen the headstones Eleanor had picked out for them. He knew that she’d made sure they were buried with all the respect and dignity they deserved.
She’d done that for them even though she’d left him and wanted a divorce.
“You could have found a way...to make this easier,” she said. “This...it’s too much.”
“Nor—”
“Don’t call me that,” she snapped. “No one calls me that anymore.”
“This was never going to be easy.”
She nodded, at least acknowledging that.
“I need to...” She paused as if she had lost her train of thought.
“Change your shoes,” he offered. “They look pretty expensive.”
She lifted her chin. “I have a company.”
“I know you do. I told you, I looked you up. It’s how I found out about tonight.”
Warily, as if he was some kind of predator, she backed away from him. “You need to stay in here.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
Then she hesitated again. “Are you hungry? We have lots of food.”
“Yes. I’m starving actually. Anything sounds good.”
Again she nodded, then not turning her back on him—he liked to think because she liked seeing him standing in front of her—she left the room.
Max took a seat and blew out a breath. He figured the hardest part was over.
Then, almost instantly, he knew that was wrong.
Getting his wife back. That was going to be the hardest part.
* * *
MAX WAS ALIVE. Max was alive.
Eleanor thought if she said it a thousand times, it might penetrate her reality. But alternately she had to remind herself that, in some corner of her brain, she never really thought he was dead.
He had never felt dead to her.
But that was silly and based on feelings, not on facts. His ship went missing, lost at sea. Max had been declared dead. She’d grieved. Then she’d grieved again when Harry and Sarah died.
She’d stayed close with them despite the situation between Max and her because, at that point, there had been no reason to hold on to grudges. It hadn’t mattered that Max had picked his job over his wife, because Max was dead.
Now he was here. Alive. Saying to her in that very serious way he had that he wasn’t going anywhere.
Because that was so like him.
Showing up two and a half years later at her sister’s engagement party undead wasn’t meant to be dramatic or shocking. It was simply the most expedient way he had of seeing her again. Eleanor knew that.
Max wasn’t drama. He wasn’t show. He’d always been substance.
It’s why she had always believed in their love, which, while it had been happening, had been so overwhelming. Because Max wasn’t the type of man to have passionate affairs. Which meant their passion was something else. Something different. Something built on a foundation.
Until the foundation wasn’t strong enough to handle another research trip. At least not for her.
Eleanor needed five minutes to escape. She needed to change her shoes, brush her teeth to get the taste of stale champagne out of her mouth, and, mostly, she needed to think.
She made her way through the crowd of guests hoping she was doing an adequate job of not looking like her life had just been upended.
She ran upstairs toward her bedroom with her mother trailing after her.
“How is this possible?” she asked quietly.
“I don’t know.”
“Well, didn’t you think to ask him?”
“Mom, I’m a little stunned right now, so could you back off?”
“No, I will not back off. Forget the fact that he’s pulled this rising-from-the-dead stunt. Don’t forget how things ended between you two before all that death business. You were devastated when you came back from Norway. I don’t want to see that happen again. Say the word, and I’ll ask him to leave this house right now. Your cousin Robbie can toss him out if he refuses.”
Robbie was the tallest of the cousins and wouldn’t have been able to move Max an inch if Max didn’t want to be moved.
“No.”
That much Eleanor knew. First, he had to tell her what happened. She, at least, deserved that. Then...there was so much more to work out.
His parents’ estate, which she’d held in a trust for the past year because she was not exactly sure what to do with it, was one thing. Not to mention the tiny little detail that he’d never actually signed the divorce papers. So, now that he was legally alive, she was still legally married to him.
“Please tell me you are not actually happy to see him again. That man broke your heart, if you recall.”
No, he hadn’t broken it. He’d shattered it. Stomped on it. Then threw it overboard for chum. Then he went and ruined all of that by dying so that, instead of hating him, she’d missed him with every ounce of her being.
“No. I mean, yes, I have to be happy he’s not dead. But it’s not...I mean, of course I’m over him.”
They reached the top of the stairs, and her mother pulled on her arm. “Eleanor Jane Gaffney, look at me and tell me you will ever be over Max Harper.”
“It’s Eleanor Jane Gaffney Harper, Mom. Remember?”
“Actually sometimes it’s easy to forget because I wasn’t invited to the wedding, now, was I?”
It was almost comical. Here Marilyn was threatening to throw Max out of the house by force if necessary so that he couldn’t emotionally hurt her daughter any further, but she was still making digs about how they’d chosen to get married in the first place. “Really, Mom? We’re going to fight about the elopement tonight of all nights?”
Her mother let out a sigh. “No. We’re not. I just need to make sure you can...handle being around him again. Daniel seems like a very nice man. I would hate to see you throw away any potential you have with him over Max Harper.”
“Are you angry with Max because we chose to elope? Or because he left me? Or because he died, but now is actually alive?”
Marilyn seemed to consider that. “All of the above.”
“Right.”
“I told you it was too soon,” Marilyn hissed. Reminding her daughter for the millionth time that she had advised Eleanor against getting married so quickly.
“Which is why we eloped,” Eleanor said tightly. The argument, for all its repetition, never changed.
“Because you’re impossibly stubborn.”
Eleanor wanted to say she got that from her mother, but thought better of it. It would only lead down the same path this conversation always took them inevitably. Which was that Marilyn had been right and Eleanor had been wrong. Something her mother had reinforced when Eleanor had come back from Norway.
Because there was nothing a person wanted more while crying over a broken heart than to hear her mother’s version of I told you so.
“I need to get down there and talk to him. But I need a few minutes to compose myself first. Please give me a little space, Mom.”
“Just don’t let yourself get sucked in again. The last time it nearly killed you when it ended. Remember who he is. I told you then and I will tell you now, that man doesn’t know how to stay in one place forever. So he may be alive and he may be back for now. But it’s only temporary. Sure enough, there will be another assignment and another ship.”
Eleanor hated to admit it, but her mother had a point. Max had nearly been her downfall. The thing she had almost not recovered from.
Until she did. Until she’d pulled herself out of the ashes of her failed marriage and built herself a company.
“Mom, I’m not going to get sucked in by Max. I remember how it ended better than anyone. Really. I’m fine. But we need to sort out the technicalities. Legally we’re still married.”
“Fine. I need to get back to my guests. You’re sure you can handle this?”
“I’ve got it.”
At least she hoped she had it. She was no longer a lovesick, twenty-six-year-old woman who was desperate to have her husband not leave her again.
Instead, she was a strong, independent woman who owned a successful business. A woman who was dating another man. A woman who had been hurt, but who had moved on with her life.
No. All she needed from Max Harper was a divorce.
First, though, she needed to feed him.
Chapter Four (#u661cda67-d377-529b-b1bb-6732da84ea90)
MAX TURNED AT the sound of the knock. Instead of Eleanor, it was Daniel with the bottle of bourbon he’d managed to acquire. He held up the bottle, and Max nodded.
The man poured them each a few fingers, then handed Max his glass. Max took a deep sniff, letting it seep through his senses. Yet another thing he was getting to re-experience. Booze.
He took a sip and savored the heat of it melting down his throat.
“So you’re Eleanor’s...”
“Husband. Yes, I thought we established that. And you are her...date. How did you two meet?”
“I’m an investment banker. I look for opportunities with thriving young companies to take them to the next level. Eleanor has one of those companies. I pursued it...then I pursued her.”
“Yes. I’m aware of the company. Head to Toe. Fitting. She always did all my shopping. Said I had no sense for fashion, which I suppose I don’t.”
“She’s got excellent taste. She picked this tie out for me. Do you like it?”
Max thought about that. It was a nice tie. “No.”
Daniel tilted his head back and laughed. “I see. This isn’t going to be a situation where you wish us all the best in our burgeoning relationship and fade out of the picture.”
“I’ve been out of the picture for more than two years. Fading away is the last thing I want.” He sure as hell didn’t want his wife finding happiness with someone else. Not when he planned to fight for her.
“Look, man, you can’t possibly be serious. You’ve been dead for over two years, gone for longer than that. Eleanor doesn’t talk about you much, but she told me the basics. You were married for three years, gone for most of that time, on the verge of a divorce when your ship went missing. Any feelings you might have had, any she might have had, that’s all in the past.”
“You’ve known me for all of a minute and offered me a drink, but you think you can tell me how I feel about my wife?”
“Your ex-wife,” Daniel said pointedly.
“Technically, that’s not true.” Eleanor was back and shutting the door behind her. She had a plate piled high with food in her hands. She looked pale, but more in control of herself than she had been earlier.
Yes, she’d changed in two plus years. She’d grown into herself. And as much as he’d loved the woman she’d been when he married her, that was how much he wanted to know this version of her, as well.
“Daniel, I’m sorry. I know this is incredibly rude of me...”
“I don’t know that there is etiquette regarding dealing with a husband back from the dead.”
Max gave the guy some credit. He was smooth. Freshly shaven, expensive suit. He looked and acted like money. No doubt a fish out of water in Hartsville, Nebraska. Still, he’d come to the sticks for Eleanor, which showed she meant something to him.
Daniel was a man in pursuit of Max’s wife.
It was something Max simply could not stand for.
“I need some time alone with Max. I don’t want you to feel like I’m ignoring you...”
“But of course you need to ignore me right now. You and Max obviously have things to work out. I understand completely. If you don’t mind, I think I’ll head back to Denver tonight rather than stay at the B and B.”
“So late?”
“It’s only after nine, and with no traffic I should be home in three hours.”
She nodded. “You’ll text me to let me know you arrived home safely.”
Daniel flashed a smile in Max’s direction. “See how she cares about me?”
Max prevented himself from tackling the asshole, deciding violence wouldn’t get him anywhere. Certainly not with Eleanor.
“I do,” Max answered. “But wouldn’t anyone, given they were asking you to leave in the first place?”
Another shut-it look from Nor. Max wanted to tilt his head back and shout to the world. For years he’d been lost, for weeks he’d been devastated by the knowledge of his parents’ death. But now, finally, things were starting to make sense. Eleanor was telling him to shut his mouth with the power of a look.
He was here. With Nor. And regardless of Daniel and whatever it was they had between them, Max was still legally her husband. His plan was to hold on to that, if nothing else, with both hands.
Daniel flashed another smile, then very deliberately kissed Eleanor on the cheek. “Good night, my dear. You’ll pass on my regrets to your mother and tell her I hope to see her at the wedding?”
“Of course.”
Douchebag, Max thought. But he supposed he had to feel some sympathy for the guy. If the situation were reversed, he would also fight like hell to keep a woman like Eleanor.
Daniel left, and Max waited until the door was closed.
“He’ll see her at the wedding? Didn’t they just get engaged? And the wedding’s not for a while? Pretty ballsy move if you ask me.”
“Yes, well...I don’t want to talk about Daniel.”
“That’s unfortunate because I do want to talk about him. He says you two have a burgeoning relationship. Can you quantify what that means?”
Eleanor opened her mouth, then snapped it closed. “I don’t think it’s any of your business.”
“None of my business? My wife is dating someone and that’s none of my business?”
“Oh, please, Max. Let’s not pretend here. I’m glad you are alive... I’m, well, the truth is, in a way I feel sort of redeemed because I never truly believed you were dead. I thought I would feel differently if you were dead...and I didn’t...but then I had to accept it. So I did. But just because you are back doesn’t mean anything has changed between us.”
“You’re right about that,” he said.
She nodded. “Good. It’s important that we are on the same page here.”
“I agree. Can I eat?” He pointed to the plate of food.
“Sure. Sorry. I know you said you were hungry. You’ve obviously lost weight.”
He smiled at that. “I’ve been back in the States for a few weeks, Nor. It’s not like I haven’t eaten since being rescued.”
“I asked you not to call me that.”
Max sat on the sofa. He set his drink down and picked up the plate of food. Steak tenderloin, mashed potatoes, a corn cake—Marilyn’s special recipe. And some broccoli, which Nor knew he wouldn’t eat, but she put it on his plate because she thought it was important he eat more vegetables.
“Looks good. All my favorites. You remembered.”
“Don’t,” she warned him. “Don’t try to read anything into that. It’s food.”
Max held up his hands as if in surrender, then reached for the corn cake and took a bite. Savoring the flavors in this mouth.
“God, that’s good. You can’t know what it’s like to eat nothing but fish for years.”
Cautiously, like she was in the room with a caged beast, she sat in the chair across from him.
“I guess it’s time you told me your long story.”
* * *
ELEANOR ALMOST DIDN’T want to hear his story. It seemed like it would make her too invested in him again. It would be better to simply to tell him to leave now. They could handle everything—the divorce, his parents’ affairs—all by mail, then that would be the end of their story.
Nothing so dramatic as a lost ship, a story of survival and returning from the dead.
But she supposed she had to know.
He shrugged after eating the last of her mother’s famous corn cake, literally licking the crumbs off his fingers.
“We ran into a storm. Not sure why the captain didn’t have more notice. But it was a bad one. Waves coming over the bow, we just took on too much water. The ship was going down. We took to the life rafts with not much hope. I broke my leg in the effort. The pain was... I don’t like to think about it. We drifted for days. The two crewmen with me died. I thought I was going to, as well. I don’t know if I passed out or slept. The next thing I knew, I was on a fishing boat and someone was giving me water. We landed on a small island off the coast of Iceland. Completely isolated from any kind of civilization. The best I can equate it to would be like an Amish community here in the States.
“A small village, not more than a few hundred people. Living off the land. Good people, but they spoke a Nordic language I didn’t understand. They had absolutely no English. My femur was broken. Their version of a doctor set it, but I couldn’t put any pressure on it for months. Then I was sick with pneumonia. I didn’t think I was going to survive that either without antibiotics. I pulled through it eventually with their natural treatments. It was months before I could walk, months after that to get my strength back. Then it was just a matter of waiting for a commercial fishing boat to pass by, one with the ability to communicate to the people of the village and me to explain I needed to get on it somehow. There were months I thought I would be stuck there for the rest of my life. I fished with them. I ate with them. Then, finally, a commercial fishing boat appeared. I was able to talk to the captain, convince him I needed to leave. The crew sailed me out to the ship, and eventually I made my way to Iceland.”
That was also typical Max, she thought. She’d counted no less than three near-death experiences, but he brushed over all of that like they were just facts in some other person’s story. As if none of it touched him.
“And when you got back to Iceland?”
“It was difficult. I wasn’t...used to people. It took me time to assimilate again. Eventually, I made my way to the U.S. consulate. Told them who I was and what happened. They reached out to the university to tell them I was alive. I kept trying to call my parents... It wasn’t until I got to the States that I learned what happened. Someone from the university met me at the airport. Told me about the accident. Told me what you had done for them. Now here I am.”
“Here you are,” she whispered. “I’m sorry. For your loss of them. They were such good people. You should know that after you...after you were declared dead I spent time with them. The three of us were together. We all sort of overlooked the fact that I had been in the process of divorcing you.”
“I didn’t think you would do it,” he said quietly. “I never thought you would really leave me.”
“I know.”
Max leaned forward, his hands loosely linked together. “I’m sorry I left, Nor. God I’m so sorry.”
“Not sorry enough that you didn’t turn around and get back on another ship.”
She watched him wince. As if she’d slapped him. She hadn’t meant to cause him pain. Or had she? When the four months passed, she’d been determined to resist every effort he would make to win her back. Positive in the knowledge that he would have taken the first plane he could to be by her side.
That he hadn’t even bothered to try winning her back had been crushing in its own way.
“I had a plan,” he said roughly.
“You always had a plan, Max. It just didn’t include me.”
“You’re wrong.”
Eleanor sighed. “It really doesn’t matter. It’s all in the past now. What’s important is what we do moving forward.”
“I agree.” He nodded. Then he reached for the bourbon and took a healthy slug.
“So, I’ll talk to my attorney when I get to Denver. I’m sure the papers are still on file somewhere. She should be able to just pull up the file. There was no property. I had saved some of your old books and things. I had given them to your parents after... But when I settled the estate, I donated anything I could to the local library. Sorry.”
“Don’t be. I was dead.”
“And I gave all your clothes to Goodwill. Sorry again.”
He laughed. “Again, don’t be. I lost about twenty pounds, and I haven’t been able to put it back on. I’ll need new ones anyway.”
Eleanor could see that. Max was tall at six-two, but two plus years ago he’d been broader in the chest and stomach. Now he looked leaner but still just as strong. Like a man who had been doing physical labor on a fishing boat for the past few months. Rather than just gathering data.
She didn’t want to think about how he looked, though. The changes to his body underneath the clothes.
Yes, a naked Max should be the last thing on her mind.
Eleanor swallowed. “In addition to the divorce papers, I can have my attorney draft a letter that will transfer the trust fund I set up with the residuals from your parents’ estate to you. Also I’ll need to deed over the cabin to you.”
That had his eyes perking up. “You kept the cabin?”
“I...I couldn’t let it go.”
He liked that. She could tell by the expression on his face. As though it was important to him that she couldn’t let it go.
That cabin was where they had spent their honeymoon and handful of other times when they had just wanted to get away. The cabin was a place filled with memories of making love for hours on end. With no thought or care in the world but each other.
Mentally, Eleanor had to push those memories away, as well.
“I’m glad. I would have been sad to have lost that, too.”
She couldn’t be sorry, then, that she saved it. He’d lost more than two years of his life, and, in that time, he’d lost almost everything else. His parents, the house where he’d grown up, all of his things...her.
“It’s getting late. Most folks will start to clear out soon. That couch you’re sitting on pulls out. You can sleep here tonight.”
“Not going to kick me out like you did Danny boy?”
“His name is Daniel, and I didn’t kick him out. He had a room at the B and B in town. You know Mom’s rules.”
“No ring, no bed. Why do you think I needed to marry you so quickly?”
She tried to smile. She really did. But all she could feel right now was sadness. The shock of seeing him again was starting to wear off, and all the old feelings she’d had when she left him were still there.
“Good night, Max.”
He stood and walked over to her. She noticed he had a slight limp. A broken femur in the middle of the frozen Norwegian Sea. On a life raft with two people who were already dead. She couldn’t imagine what he’d suffered. Couldn’t let herself think about how it made her feel to know that he was out there on the ocean alone.
“I think I’ve left you with a misconception. You said that just because I’m back doesn’t change anything between us, and I agreed.”
“Yes. So?”
“When I said nothing’s changed between us, I meant it. I loved you when you left, and you loved me. As far as I’m concerned nothing has changed.”
“Max...”
“Nor, I screwed up. I know that now and I’ve had more than two hard years to think of what I had done. But I’m back now, and I’m never going to leave you again.”
Eleanor shook her head. This was what she’d been afraid of when the four months had passed, and he came back from his expedition to find her gone. That he wouldn’t simply accept that she had left him. That she wanted a divorce. That he would fight for her.
She remembered thinking she would need to be as strong as she had ever been in order to resist him. Because he was right. She had still loved him when she left him.
“I don’t believe you.”
“It’s the truth. I’m never setting foot on a ship again.”
“That’s obviously a natural fear you have right now. But in time that will heal and you’ll—”
He grasped her around her upper arms and gave her a small shake. “Nor, look at me. I’m not getting on a ship again because I’m afraid of the water. That’s not the reason. I’m not getting on a ship again because I’m not leaving you. Ever. I cost us years of our life together. I know that. So, I’m not wasting another second of it. I was prepared, if I came back here to find you happily married with two kids and a dog, that I would have to accept it and let you go. But a couple dates with Danny boy? No way. I’m fighting.”
“This is pointless, Max. It’s been too long. Surely you don’t think I can still be in love with you after all these years?”
He stared into her eyes, but, honestly, she had no idea what he would find there.
“Then I guess I’ll have to make you fall in love with me all over again.”
“That’s not going to happen.” She wouldn’t let it happen. She would never survive a round two with Max Harper. She was sure of it.
“Then prove it. Come to the cabin with me. A couple days for me to spend some time with my parents’ stuff. Grieve them with me. Please, Nor. At least give me that.”
“It won’t change anything between us.”
“Then there should be no reason why you can’t come,” he said as if he’d beaten her in a contest of logic.
“Except that I have a company to run,” she said, exasperated that he wouldn’t even consider she had her own life. Wasn’t that what he’d told her to do? Find something that was important to her. Have a passion for something that wasn’t him.
“I know.” He smiled. “Head to Toe. I told you I found it when I was looking for you. You’re considered one of the fastest growing start-ups in Denver.”
She would not be pleased he’d read that about her. She would not feel an ounce of pride.
“A couple days. You can bring a laptop to work remotely. We need, if nothing else, more closure to our relationship. That’s all I’m asking.”
If she was going to do this, then she needed to get something out of the deal.
“Fine. A couple days. You’ll see there is nothing there between us anymore. No relationship to be salvaged. Then you’ll agree to a non-contested divorce. Deal?”
He took a step back, and she almost took a step forward as if to follow. Such had always been her attraction to him. Just like a magnet.
He held his hand out. “I agree to divorce you if I can’t make you fall in love with me again.”
“Max...” she growled.
“Take it or leave it.”
Everything inside her was screaming that this was a mistake. That, in fact, the only shelter from the Max Harper storm would be to find whatever island he’d lived on for the past two or so years and go there—where he would never find her.
Instead, she shook his hand.
* * *
“HOLY COW? CAN you actually believe this is happening?” Allie spit out the toothpaste she had in her mouth so what sounded like a question to her probably came out as a mumble to Mike. Then she made her way to her bedroom through the connecting door of the bathroom.
She should probably lower her voice. Eleanor’s room, after all, was on the other side of the connecting bathroom door.
“That your mother is letting me spend the night in your room without the benefit of marriage vows?” Mike asked. “No, I can’t believe this is happening.”
Allie took a minute to check out her fiancé in her bed. He was right. This was a stunning development. They had dated for three years, had lived together for one, had been engaged now for a few weeks, but this was the first time Mike had ever even been upstairs in her room.
She’d given him the guided tour of her young-girl years, her teenage-crush years, her longing-to-go-to-college years...that had hurt. Showing him what she hadn’t accomplished.
Two years of community school was all her mother had thought she needed. With an associate degree she could work at a bank, or as a receptionist in an office. After all, what on earth would Allie ever do with a four-year degree when she’d only ever been a B student in high school?
Unlike Eleanor who had gotten straight A’s.
The awful part was that Allie hadn’t known what she wanted to do. She couldn’t say that she wanted to go to college for any particular degree. Couldn’t fight for it like Eleanor had. Then again, Eleanor hadn’t won any battles with her mother. Marilyn hadn’t thought college was necessary for her oldest daughter, either.
Eleanor had just figured out a way to do it all herself.
Including getting married.
“I don’t mean that,” Allie said. “But it is crazy. It was like after Max showed up she had no fight left. I told her you’d had another drink as a result and couldn’t drive, and she was like... Fine. But be respectful and for heaven’s sake don’t...do anything.”
Mike laughed. “I am so going to do stuff to you when you get in this bed.”
Allie giggled. It might be the biggest rule she’d ever broken. Wearing her tank top and pajama bottoms, she threw herself onto the bed and Mike’s chest. He let out a hard woosh as if she crushed him, even though she knew she hadn’t.
“What I meant before is isn’t it crazy about Max?”
“Guy returns from the dead? Yeah, I’m pretty sure the last time I saw that happen it was on General Hospital.”
Allie bit her bottom lip. “This is going to wreck her, but I hope...I really hope she gives him a chance. For her own sake. They loved each other, you know?”
“Like us?”
Allie smiled. Yes, she knew she loved Mike as much Eleanor had loved Max. “It was different for them, though.”
“Different how?”
“They had all these obstacles to overcome. Mom thought they hadn’t dated long enough to get married. Then, of course, she opposed the elopement. Hence the Allie-and-Mike-wedding extravaganza. At every turn they faced something and then in the end...it was just too much to overcome.”
Mike snorted.
Allie knew that snort. He wasn’t buying her story.
“What?”
He shrugged. His big bear shoulders lifting out from her soft, daisy yellow duvet. “You told me the story, Allie. Max left her for his work. She left him because she couldn’t do it anymore. That’s not a love that sticks. That’s a love that doesn’t stick in hard times.”
“But you don’t know what would have happened if he hadn’t been gone for more than two years. Two years, Mike! They could have worked things out. I know Max. He wouldn’t have let Eleanor go without a fight.”
Mike rolled onto his side taking her with him so that he half lay on top of her, his big, bearded, Midwest-farmer face so precious to her, there for her to touch and stroke.
“I’m never going to leave you. No matter what.”
Allie smiled at him. “Me, either. I’m not trying to say our love is any less than theirs. Circumstances were just different for them.”
“Tell you what. You want an obstacle we have to overcome...tell your mother I don’t want a bachelor party with your creepy uncle, and I want to cut the guest list in half to make this thing more about us and the people we love. Let’s see if we can fight through that, because I know that’s what you want, too.”
Allie cringed. “I know she’s difficult...”
Mike shook his head. “It’s not about her being difficult. That’s Marilyn Gaffney and I accept that. This is about what Eleanor said to you tonight. What do you want, Allie? And what are you willing to fight for, for us? Eleanor was willing to fight for Max. She got him, then she left him. Maybe he wins her back, maybe he doesn’t, but I know this. No matter what happens with Max, it won’t be your mother’s call. It will be Eleanor’s.”
“You’re saying I’m a pushover,” Allie muttered, feeling herself get defensive.
“I’m saying I want you to start fighting for yourself and what you want. Because the next thing you know, I might be that person you’re just trying to make happy all the time. If that happens, you’ll start to resent me, and that will stink up a marriage like cow shit in a barn.”
“You have such a way with sayings.”
“I’m serious, Allie.”
She knew it was a fault. Knew it was something she had to find within herself. But tonight was her engagement party, and it was over, thank God! Mike was in her bed and Max was not dead.
Which meant, in some ways, Eleanor might come back to life, too. The way she had once been.
“Fine. You want me to speak my mind?”
“I do.”
“Well, this fiancée wants an orgasm, and you’re going to have to be pretty crafty about it because my mother cannot hear a thing.”
Mike smiled. “I can give that a shot.”
Allie smiled as he slid under the covers, and, after a time and an amazing orgasm, she knew Mike had, indeed, given it his best shot.
Chapter Five (#u661cda67-d377-529b-b1bb-6732da84ea90)
“ARE YOU INSANE?”
“Mom...” Eleanor groaned.
“I think it’s a good idea,” Allie chimed in.
They were sitting together at the breakfast table. Last night Marilyn had made sure Max had pillows and a blanket. She’d also made it clear she thought it best he leave early in the morning before any of the staying guests woke and found him in the house.
Too many questions and all that.
Eleanor had given him her number so he could reach her, and, true to his word, he was gone before anyone woke up.
The house now empty of guests, it was just Eleanor with her mother and her sister as she explained over eggs and bacon where Max had been for the last two or so years, everything that had happened to him, as well as how they’d left things between them.
It was strange, Eleanor thought. How different she felt waking up this morning. For one, her first thought hadn’t been about Head to Toe and what her schedule looked like for the day. For another, it was the crazy realization that Max was once more alive.
Not just in the physical sense. But alive for her. A decision she needed to make. An action she needed to do. It was like breathing for the first time after holding her breath for so long.
Maybe for more than two years.
“It is absolutely not a good idea. Do not encourage your sister,” her mother said to Allie.
“Mom, it’s the most expedient way to end this,” Eleanor said.
Because that was what she told herself. A few days with Max. Closure on their relationship. A real end to what had been the most significant relationship of her life.
“I know Max. He’s stubborn as heck. He’ll beat this drum endlessly until he realizes the truth. That what we had is over. Then he’ll give me the divorce, and I can finally move on with my life.”
Her mother rolled her eyes. “Right, because in the two plus years since his death, you’ve been able to move on. What was Daniel? Maybe the third person you’ve been out with in two years.”
“Technically the fourth.” Three blind dates—one of whom canceled at the last minute, but she had agreed to the date so that counted—and Daniel. Then there was that other incident, the one she didn’t like to think about because of how it made her feel. Certainly no reason to inform her mother of that.
“I was married for three years, Mom. It’s not the strangest thing that, while I was growing my business and getting over my failed marriage, then the death of my husband, dating would not exactly be a priority for me.”
It was another argument she’d had often enough with her mother in the past two and a half years. Marilyn wanted her to move on, find another husband and start having babies.
Eleanor hadn’t been ready for any of that.
“Tell yourself that if you want, but I know you. And him, although not as well. Whatever it is about him, it acts like some kind of drug for you. You let him charm you for a few days, and you’ll find yourself falling back under his spell. Telling yourself, he’s changed. Then eventually when he goes away again, you’ll find yourself where you were when you decided to leave him the first time. Do you really want to go through that again?”
“Of course not,” Eleanor mumbled. It wasn’t possible she could fall for Max again. Having him and losing him had hurt too much. It left a wound that, if she was being honest with herself, hadn’t ever healed.
Allie was shaking her head.
“What?” Eleanor asked her.
“Eleanor, it’s simple. I know you were devastated when you left him. The reason you were was because you did love him. And when he was reported dead, you were like a zombie. I know because I lived with you for three months after. That’s how worried we were about you.”
“Right. That’s why it can never happen again.”
“You say that like you can control it. Do you still have feelings for him or not? If you do, then you owe it to both of you to hear each other out. You guys...just being around you guys as a teenager, I could feel the love. It’s what made me certain that it was real and it was out there. It’s why I was certain when I fell for Mike. I know it’s been a few years. I know this is like something out of a bad soap opera. But you’re both to blame in this.”
Eleanor’s jaw dropped. “How can you say that? He left me!”
“And you left him. When you knew he loved you more than anything. When you loved him more than anything. You gave up on the two of you first, and that’s not like you.”
“Allie!”
“You did, Eleanor,” her sister insisted. “And now I can say, being in a relationship myself, that ultimatums never work. They just piss everyone off.”
“I can’t believe you’re taking his side.”
“I’m not taking anyone’s side. I’m telling you to think about how you felt when you saw him last night...”
“Sick. I felt sick when I saw him last night and ruined a perfectly good pair of shoes,” Eleanor informed her sister. She felt the same queasy feeling now looking down at her plate of eggs with the yellow yolk running everywhere.
Because Max loved eggs. It was their Sunday morning tradition.
Shit.
She hated that she now seemed to be in this perpetual spiral of memories, good and bad, of her time with Max.
“What about Daniel?” her mother insisted.
“What about him?” Eleanor asked.
“If you do this thing, if you spend this time with your ex-husband, can’t you see that you’ll ruin any chance you have with him?”
“Mom, Daniel and I have been on a few dates. Our second one ended with me telling him he needed to leave because my long-lost husband, aka Indiana Jones, just returned from out of nowhere. I don’t think there is much of a future there for us.”
“Hmph,” her mother sighed. “A nice man, a man of means, a handsome man who wants to date you. That’s who you can’t see a future with. But Indiana Jones, that’s who you are pining over.”
“I’m not pining,” Eleanor insisted.
“You haven’t answered my question,” Allie told her. “Do you have feelings for him? Mom obviously thinks you do.”
“Of course I do. It was right there on her face when she saw him again. Like she couldn’t look away.”
Was it? Eleanor wondered. Was it right there on her face?
“Mom, I don’t get it,” Allie said. “If you think she still has feelings for him, why wouldn’t you be encouraging her to see where those feelings might lead? He is her husband, after all.”
“Because he’s going to hurt her,” Marilyn told her younger sister. As if Eleanor wasn’t sitting at the same table. “Again. And frankly, I don’t want to have to pick up the pieces. If you were supportive of your sister, you wouldn’t want that to happen, either. You’re getting married in a few months. Right now, everything is hearts and flowers with you. All you want to see are happy endings and that’s simply not reality.”
“Just because you and Dad weren’t happy, that doesn’t mean nobody can be happy,” Allie said.
Which caused her mother to gasp.
Eleanor, too, for that matter. Allie was the quiet one. The pleaser in the family. It was Eleanor who was usually the source of her mother’s upset.
“Allison Ann,” her mother said tightly. “How could you?”
Immediately, Allie ducked her head. “I’m sorry, Mom, but it’s true. If Dad hadn’t died so young, can you honestly say you wouldn’t have thought about getting a divorce?”
“Never. Divorce was simply not an option for us. Your father’s and my relationship was...complicated. We’ll leave it at that.”
“All I’m saying is that Max and Eleanor are complicated, too. Maybe she shouldn’t write off her marriage so easily.”
Starting to get annoyed with the way they were talking about her, Eleanor said, “I love how my little sister is telling me how to live my life.”
Allie picked up her orange juice and flashed Eleanor a bright smile. “Only when I’m right.”
Marilyn picked up her plate and silverware, signaling an end to both breakfast and this conversation. She would, however, have the last word. As always.
“Eleanor, you’re going to do what you want. You always do. But know this—men don’t change. It’s simply not in their nature. He left you, and he will leave you again. Trust me on this.”
With that, she took her plate to the sink, then left the kitchen in typical dramatic form.
Eleanor looked at her sister. “What were you thinking bringing up Dad like that?”
“I’m tired of lying about it. We know how it was like between them right before he died. But of course, we can never discuss it. I guess maybe what you said last night at the party rubbed off on me. It’s time to start speaking my mind. Time to stop worrying about everyone else’s feelings. I think you should give Max a shot. More than that, I think you’re looking for any excuse to do it.”
Eleanor sighed. “He hurt me, Allie. Bad.”
“You were different then. Not as independent as you are now. I don’t believe what Mom said at all. I think people do change all the time. Things happen. Max almost died! You don’t think that had any effect on him figuring out what he wanted in his life going forward?”
“Another good point. What if wanting me back has nothing to do with me?” Eleanor suggested. “What if this is just him clinging to any part of his former life? He came home to nothing.”
“And if it’s not?”
How did she explain her fear? “I wasn’t enough for him back then, Allie. As much as he loved me, I wasn’t enough.”
“I don’t believe that for a second. Because if that were true, really true, he’d divorce you and move on. You know what I think? Maybe back then you weren’t strong enough to handle what you two had. Maybe that’s why those long trips freaked you out. I know for a fact that’s not the case now. The Eleanor Harper I know can definitely handle it.”
Eleanor eyed her sister. “When did you become so wise?”
“While you all weren’t looking. Look, you already agreed to go away with him. I’m just saying keep an open mind.”
Eleanor didn’t know if she could agree to that. But she also knew the only way out of her marriage was through Max. Nothing was going to change that. And this was the last piece of his parents that he had. Being there for him wasn’t out of the question.
“I should probably tell Daniel.”
“Yeah, if it were me, and I had no shot with you, I would want to know, too.”
“Allie!”
“Sorry. I’m Team Max hashtag teammax. All the way.”
* * *
IT WAS SUNDAY NIGHT, and Eleanor was in her condo in downtown Denver. She’d spent the past few hours dealing with emails that had backed up over the weekend. Now that she was caught up, there was no use denying to herself that she’d been putting off the inevitable.
Eleanor looked at the phone in her hand. It would be so easy to just text Daniel. Did one dinner and one disastrous engagement party really make him eligible to be updated about her personal life?
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Stephanie Doyle
Тип: электронная книга
Жанр: Современные любовные романы
Язык: на английском языке
Издательство: HarperCollins
Дата публикации: 16.04.2024
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О книге: The only thing she wasn′t prepared for was life itself…Eleanor desperately loved her husband, Max Harper, but when he chose his research work over their marriage one more time, she had no choice but to file for divorce. She couldn’t know that his ship would go down in a storm in the North Atlantic. Two years later, she’s buried him in the past, launched a thriving business and even dating again. She′s getting her life together and she′s doing just great, she tells anybody who asks her. But she′s absolutely not prepared for what—or who—is about to step into her mom′s study next…