Hot Single Docs: Meeting His Match: NYC Angels: The Wallflower′s Secret / NYC Angels: Flirting with Danger / NYC Angels: Tempting Nurse Scarlet
Hot Single Docs: Meeting His Match: NYC Angels: The Wallflower's Secret / NYC Angels: Flirting with Danger / NYC Angels: Tempting Nurse Scarlet
Susan Carlisle
Tina Beckett
Wendy S. Marcus
Love always finds a way…Since making the ultimate emotional sacrifice, counsellor Lucy Edwards has heart on lockdown. Enter neurosurgeon Ryan O’Doherty, with piercing blue eyes and roguish charm…Dr Brad Davis knows that Nurse Chloe Jenkins is off limits. But when she shows up on his doorstep barefoot, seeking refuge, Brad is very tempted to break all the rules…Scarlet Miller is a force to be reckoned with. But A&E doc Lewis Jackson ties her heart up in knots! Suddenly this tough cookie nurse is wondering if she’s finally met her match…
About the Authors
Susan Carlisle’s love affair with books began in the sixth grade, when she made a bad grade in mathematics. Not allowed to watch TV until she’d brought the grade up, Susan filled her time with books. She turned her love of reading into a passion for writing, and now has over ten Medical Romances published through Mills & Boon. She writes about hot, sexy docs and the strong women who captivate them. Visit SusanCarlisle.com (http://www.SusanCarlisle.com).
Born to a family that was always on the move, Tina Beckett learned to pack a suitcase almost before she knew how to tie her shoes. Fortunately she met a man who also loved to travel, and she snapped him right up. Married for over twenty years, Tina has three wonderful children and has lived in gorgeous places such as Portugal and Brazil.
Living where English reading material is difficult to find has its drawbacks, however. Tina had to come up with creative ways to satisfy her love for romance novels, so she picked up her pen and tried writing one. After her tenth book she realised she was hooked. She was officially a writer.
Tina loves to hear from readers. You can contact her through her website or ‘friend’ her on Facebook.
Wendy S. Marcus is an award-winning author of contemporary romance who lives in the beautiful Hudson Valley region of New York where she spends way too much time indoors on her computer. Writing. Really! Okay, more like...where she spends way too much time on Twitter and Facebook! To learn more about Wendy and the books she’s managed to write, in spite of her social media addiction, visit WendySMarcus.com (http://www.WendySMarcus.com).
Hot Single Docs: Meeting His Match
NYC Angels: The Wallflower’s Secret
Susan Carlisle
NYC Angels: Flirting with Danger
Tina Beckett
NYC Angels: Tempting Nurse Scarlet
Wendy S. Marcus
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
ISBN: 978-1-474-08344-7
Hot Single Docs: Meeting His Match
NYC Angels: The Wallflower’s Secret © 2013 Harlequin Books S.A NYC Angels: Flirting with Danger © 2013 Harlequin Books S.A NYC Angels: Tempting Nurse Scarlet © 2013 Harlequin Books S.A
Published in Great Britain 2018
by Mills & Boon, an imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF
All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. This edition is published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, locations and incidents are purely fictional and bear no relationship to any real life individuals, living or dead, or to any actual places, business establishments, locations, events or incidents. Any resemblance is entirely coincidental.
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www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Table of Contents
Cover (#u76c71913-fd2c-52a9-be99-183a7f5e608c)
About the Authors (#u88640859-d4d9-5d0d-8c0f-45eadc3d1b77)
Title Page (#u9819d683-20c5-5bcc-af31-f9d3b9147902)
Copyright (#u558f5176-9765-55fc-913b-1985c29b9cf6)
NYC Angels: The Wallflower’s Secret (#ub9d36bde-2a6e-56ef-b216-dc7b1b58aae4)
Back Cover Text (#ue3744ec6-8e3d-59e5-add9-3cb6b16d4ee8)
Dedication (#u6db13616-337e-5a27-82f6-eb2e10117f87)
CHAPTER ONE (#u52bc1e6d-e027-5fd2-b8bf-d50062f87f43)
CHAPTER TWO (#uff794efe-c57b-5026-afc5-6a6c6a95a2bb)
CHAPTER THREE (#u149f440d-cdbf-5154-8862-4ebd174c005b)
CHAPTER FOUR (#u3f2df067-3011-5c62-90a1-ce7fbe8d1ada)
CHAPTER FIVE (#u28007651-81c4-58bd-9443-afe16624e641)
CHAPTER SIX (#ufc74b214-e3d9-53fc-b514-d6c6197b5316)
CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)
NYC Angels: Flirting with Danger (#litres_trial_promo)
Back Cover Text (#litres_trial_promo)
Dedication (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ONE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWO (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER THREE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FOUR (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ELEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWELVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER THIRTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FOURTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FIFTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIXTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINETEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)
EPILOGUE (#litres_trial_promo)
NYC Angels: Tempting Nurse Scarlet (#litres_trial_promo)
Back Cover Text (#litres_trial_promo)
Dedication (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ONE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWO (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER THREE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FOUR (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)
About the Publisher (#litres_trial_promo)
NYC Angels: The Wallflower’s Secret (#u460ad609-b476-5fb6-8cb9-6ba089870f95)
Susan Carlisle
Some secrets are best shared…
Since making the ultimate emotional sacrifice for her sister, counsellor Lucy Edwards has kept her feelings buried and her heart on lockdown. Enter neurosurgeon Ryan O’Doherty, complete with piercing blue eyes and roguish charm. Working with him on an emotive case brings all of Lucy’s painful memories to the surface…and even closer to Ryan. Lucy’s finally tempted to let someone in—but will their fragile relationship survive her most difficult revelation?
This one is for you, Drew. I love you.
CHAPTER ONE (#u460ad609-b476-5fb6-8cb9-6ba089870f95)
PEDIATRIC NEUROSURGEON DR. Ryan O’Doherty’s attention remained on the child lying in the ICU bed of Angel Mendez Children’s Hospital in New York City as he spoke to the father. “I removed as much of the tumor as possible. I didn’t get it all because I couldn’t risk additional impairment.”
This father wasn’t the first person to hear those words and he wouldn’t be the last. Ryan made a point not to gloss over the truth when speaking to parents. Despite the fact that Ryan knew he possessed more than competent skills, he’d done all he could for the child. He couldn’t fix them all. Parents had to accept that.
“I understand. His mother and I will take him home and love him for as long as we can,” the father said in a voice filled with tears.
The father had courage. He’d have to cling to it down the road.
The sharp, shrill sound of Ryan’s phone filled the air. He tapped the screen, stopping the offending noise, and looked at the message. Human Resources. He’d forgotten all about being expected down there. What could possibly be so important in the paper-pusher department that he was needed so urgently?
He glanced at the father again. “The neurologist will re-evaluate your son’s case. I’ll be here if needed,” he said curtly. “Now, if you will excuse me...”
“Thanks for all you’ve done.”
Ryan nodded. It was his job.
Ten minutes later, Ryan walked through the network of gray hallways on his way to the human resources department. Hospital leadership was notorious for putting HR departments in the basement of the oldest section of the hospital and in the furthest corner, if they could accomplish it. Angel’s was no different. Ryan hadn’t seen this particular region of the building since he’d become an official employee five years earlier.
He wasn’t sure why he’d been summoned, but he’d received an email the day before, requesting his presence. When he’d called to say he was too busy to make the meeting, Matherson, the HR director, had stated it was mandatory that he attend. Ryan was sure the trip down would be a complete waste of his time. Whatever he was needed for, surely could be handled by email.
Despite technically being an employee, he still wasn’t used to being called into someone’s office. If there was something to be said he was typically the one doing the calling. Expected for a surgery consultation in just a few minutes, he needed to get this over with. He made the final turn in the hallway and pushed the faux woodgrain door open, entering the functional waiting area that would have been drab if not for the colorful framed pictures of children hanging on the wall.
Ryan headed straight to the middle-aged woman sitting behind the L-shaped reception desk. “Dr. O’Doherty here to see Mr. Matherson,” he said with a smile he didn’t feel. He’d learned long ago that it paid to mask your emotions.
“He’s expecting you,” the woman at the desk chirped, as if she’d said it hundreds of times.
Not bothering to sit, he stood over the receptionist as she picked up the phone and spoke into it, and looked around the room.
A young woman, maybe in her late twenties, sat facing the entrance in one of the three utilitarian chairs set against the office wall. She glanced up at him. Her large blue eyes reminded him of a summer afternoon, but held a sadness that contradicted their lovely color. With a single blink, the melancholy was replaced by an unwavering stare before she looked away.
“Dr. O’Doherty is here, Mr. Matherson.” The receptionist listened a moment then glanced at the woman sitting in the chair.
Ryan followed the receptionist’s look. The woman sat with her ankles crossed and her hands laced primly in her lap. There was little outstanding about her apart from those large eyes and a rope of hair that fell over her shoulder. She wore a business suit of light gray with a flimsy peach blouse beneath. A little too school-marmy for his tastes.
He could tell her clothes were of a fine quality. He snorted quietly. Must have been all those long-suffering shopping trips he’d made with his sisters that had given him that knowledge. He quirked a corner of his mouth. Should he be proud of that?
“Ms. Edwards, Mr. Matherson would like to see you and Dr. O’Doherty now.”
Who was this Ms. Edwards and why would she have anything to do with him being here? Ryan’s focus sharpened when she stood. The woman was tall, with a willowy frame that spoke of someone who took care of herself. Her gaze met his. The sadness he’d seen early in her eyes had been replaced by a resolute look. She held his gaze a moment before her attention turned to the HR man.
Mr. Matherson, a round bodied man with a balding head, had come round a corner. “Dr. O’Doherty and Ms. Edwards, please come back to my office.”
Ryan stepped back and allowed her to go ahead of him. Her head reached his shoulder. Her wheat-colored hair was controlled by a braid. What was it called? He’d heard his sisters talk about them enough. Something foreign. A French braid, that was it. Even with the braid her hair went midway down her back. Did it touch her hips when free?
Ms. Edwards’s eyes narrowed. Had she guessed his thoughts?
“Please come in and have a seat,” Mr. Matherson instructed as he stepped around the desk facing the door and remained standing. Ms. Edwards took one of the burgundy vinyl chairs and Ryan sat in the other before Mr. Matherson settled in his seat.
“Dr. O’Doherty, this is Lucy Edwards, and she’s just recently joined the Angel family.”
Ryan offered his hand and a half-smile. “Ryan O’Doherty.”
For a flicker of a second she hesitated before her small fingers slipped into his. Her grasp was firm, her hand soft and the touch brief. He liked the feel of her hand.
He gave Matherson an expectant look. They needed to get a move on with this meeting. His colleague was waiting on that consult. “So what brings us here?”
Matherson regarded Ryan as if he wasn’t comfortable with others taking over his meetings. Clearing his throat, the HR man said, “Ms. Edwards is a family counselor. She comes with the highest credentials and praise from her last position. As I understand, she was the person the families regularly requested.”
The woman beside him shifted uncomfortably. Pink touched her cheeks. She obviously didn’t enjoy being the center of attention. That came as a surprise. In his experience, woman generally enjoyed being the main focus. What made this one different?
Matherson continued as if giving a great oratory to be remembered. “Angel’s is setting up a new program called Coordinated Patient Care, where we’re pairing a counselor with a doctor. Ms. Edwards is your partner. You’ll be working with her on all your cases.”
What was this? Another hospital bureaucratic feel-good project? Ryan leaned forward, piercing the rotund little man with a look. “Didn’t we try something like this a couple of years ago and decide it didn’t work?”
Matherson had the good grace to look contrite. “Similar, but this is a little different. You two are the beta test. If it works then we’ll require other departments to follow suit.”
“Is all this necessary? I’m sure Ms....uh—”
“Edwards,” the woman supplied.
He sensed more than saw her stiffen. “I’m sure Ms. Edwards and I could both use our time more wisely.”
“Please don’t speak for me.” The woman who had been sitting stiffly beside him said, shifting direction. “Doctor, I can assure you that the closer the doctor-counselor relationship is, the better it is for the patient.”
Her words were said in a soft Southern drawl laced with an edge of steel. So the woman had some backbone. Interesting.
He cocked a brow and smiled. “So-o-o.” He dragged out the word to match her drawl. “You believe that working closely with the doctor is important.”
She rewarded him with a blush that added a brighter touch of pink to the ridge of her cheeks.
Matherson cleared his throat, but Ryan chose to ignore the man. He gifted her with a smile. The identical one he used when making an effort not to ruffle the nurses while at the same time trying to get his way.
“I didn’t mean to imply that your job doesn’t have merit, it’s just that I don’t think we need to personally discuss each patient. In fact, I don’t discuss the same type of issues with my patients that you would be concerned with. You can make notes on their charts about any matters you think I should know about and I can read from there.” Ryan stood. To his surprise, Ms. Edwards rose to face him.
“I can assure you, Doctor, our relationship will be strictly professional,” she said through clenched teeth. She took a breath and continued, “Patients, as well as their families, need reassurance and comfort that you can’t provide.”
She couldn’t have been more correct.
“That’s my job and I do it well.” She squared her shoulders, punctuating the statement.
“I’m sure that is true but I’m not going to waste my time in meetings when there is a perfectly good computer system we can use for correspondence. Now, if you’ll both excuse me...”
“Dr. O’Doughty,” Matherson said with a pointed look at Ryan, “I don’t know if you fully understand what’s being asked here. This is a trial program. The board’s supporting it unanimously. Your co-operation would be noticed and to your advantage.”
Ryan compressed his mouth. Matherson was making a veiled reference to the fact that he hadn’t been offered the head of neurosurgery position and that his co-operation would look good on his CV. By rights the department head job should have been his. Instead, they’d hired Alex Rodriguez.
Drawing his lips into a thin line, Ryan looked directly at Matherson for a long moment. The hospital pencil-pusher did have the good grace to lower his eyes. If going along with this ridiculous time-consuming coordinated patient care idea would make him look good on paper to the powers that be, then he’d make some form of an effort. He’d at least give it lip service, but based on his experience it would be a waste of time. Shrugging a shoulder, he said, “Okay.” He looked at Ms. Edwards. “I guess we’re a team, then.”
Ms. Edwards angled her head, mistrust written all over her face. Was she questioning his motives? Would she let him get away with doing as little as possible? Maybe there was more to this unassuming woman than he’d originally supposed. If nothing else, it would be a challenge to see if he could get her to smile. Find out if he could make that sadness in her eyes disappear.
“So it’s settled.” Matherson sounded far more cheerful than Ryan felt. “Then I’ll let you two get started.”
* * *
Lucy glanced at the self-absorbed doctor walking half a pace ahead of her up the hall. It had been hard enough to leave her entire life behind to start a new job in an unfamiliar city but being forced to work with a person who resented her being foisted on him made it almost impossible. Left no choice, she had to make this partnership work somehow.
Matherson, with the syrupy smile still on his face, had inquired if the good doctor was going back up to the neuro floor. When he said he was, Matherson had the nerve to ask him to show her the way. She’d been horribly embarrassed that Matherson had relegated this surgeon to a tour guide but didn’t know a graceful way to say she’d find her own way.
As they left the HR department, Dr. O’Doherty held the door for her to go ahead of him. Someone had at least instilled manners in the self-absorbed man. She’d seen little else to impress her. That wasn’t exactly true. She hadn’t failed to notice his wide shoulders, piercing blue eyes and height. Even now his long legs were eating up the well-worn tile floor beneath them. Not often did she find a man that she couldn’t meet almost eye to eye.
Gripping her purse, Lucy found herself tagging along behind him. With each step she became more irritated with his attitude. He walked as if he couldn’t leave the HR or her quickly enough. Regardless, she appreciated him leading the way as they made one turn then another, past another bank of elevators. She had no idea where she was in the vast hospital.
That morning when she’d stood across the street in Central Park, facing the front entrance of Angel’s, and had looked up, she hadn’t begun to count the number of floors. The building spread across an entire block. To say she’d been intimidated would have been an understatement. Still, there had been something about the mixture of old and new architecture that had appealed to her. If nothing else, the bright yellow and red awning leading to the front door had made her think the place had warmth.
Being employed by a large hospital wasn’t new to her. Most children’s hospitals were attached to a larger teaching hospital that was affiliated with a big university. But compared to Angel’s, those she’d worked in were dwarfs in size. She liked the nickname Angel’s. Glancing at the man beside her, she decided he didn’t act very angelic or hospitable.
Dr. O’Doherty finally stopped in front of a set of elevators and pushed the ‘up’ button.
Her job required her to read people. Dr. O’Doherty’s rigid stance and unyielding demeanor said he wasn’t pleased with having to answer to the HR department and now to her in a lesser way. She wasn’t surprised. Typical surgeon. Highly typical neurosurgeon. Confident, in control and with minds closed to anyone’s ideas but their own. Still, she had a job to do, and that meant co-operating with this guy. She had no choice but to make it work.
Clearing her throat, she said, “I understand this arrangement isn’t really your idea of a good plan.”
He moved to face her. “No, it isn’t.”
His displeasure didn’t encourage her. If this was the way he acted over a simple request, she couldn’t imagine his reaction to a serious issue. She was well acquainted with life-altering experiences. She wasn’t going to waste her energy getting upset over anything as mundane as being partnered with the egotistical doctor.
“I’d like to make my end of it as painless as possible for both of us.”
The elevator arrived, putting their conversation on hold. The doors opened and they stepped into an already crowded car. Dr. O’Doherty’s solid frame brushed hers as they turned to face the front of the elevator. A prickle of awareness spread through her body.
On the ride upward, they stood close enough that the heat of his body warmed her down one side. It was the first time in months that the Arctic cold buried deep within her had melted even for a second. The numbness returned the moment the elevator doors opened and he moved away. She stepped out behind him, then paused.
He stopped and looked at her. “Something wrong?”
“No, I’m just always amazed at how completely different patients’ areas are from the business parts of the hospital. These bright yellow walls are like coming into sunshine after being in gloom.”
“I’ve never noticed.”
She wasn’t surprised.
“Can you get to your office from here?”
She glanced around, recognizing a framed picture of a child’s artwork on the wall. “I know where I am now.” He turned to leave and she asked, “So how’re we going to handle this coordinated care plan, Dr. O’Doherty?”
Stopping, he turned back to her. “I’m going about it like I always have. Check the charts, Ms. Edwards.”
“Mr. Matherson made it clear that wouldn’t do. You might not like the idea but I expect you to do your part. Your patients are now mine also. I’m determined to give them the best care possible.”
Dr. O’Doherty stepped a pace closer, leaned forward and pierced her with a penetrating blue stare. “And you don’t think that’s what I do?”
“I’m sure you’re a more than capable surgeon, but there’s always room for improvement where patient care outside the OR is concerned.”
“Ms. Edwards, are you questioning my ability to be professional?”
She met his look squarely. “No, but I’ll not let you dismiss me or my abilities either. I was approached by this hospital to do a job so someone must have thought I had something to offer the hospital and the neuro department in particular. I expect you to at least recognize that.”
His attention remained on her long enough that her knees started to shake. Had she stepped over the line? With a huff, he said, “I do rounds at five. Promptly.” With a curt turn he went down the hall as if he’d spent all the time he deemed necessary on her.
Lucy passed a number of patient rooms, rounded the large corner nurses’ station and dodged a child in a wagon with a parent pulling it. Her heart tugged. Every small child she saw made her think of Emily. With relief, she finally reached the hall her office was on. Maybe going back to work in a children’s hospital hadn’t been one of her best ideas. But it had been the only job available when she’d needed to leave.
As bright, open and modern as the patients’ floor was, in contrast her office was little more than a cubby hole. She shared the area with two other family counselors assigned to the neuro floor. Three desks were lined up side by side against a wall and if all three were working at the same time, they wouldn’t be able to get to their desks without one of them stepping out into the hall. That didn’t concern her. It was a fairly typical arrangement for support staff. She was happy to have her position and she’d work in whatever space provided.
Lucy checked her watch. There were a few hours before she had to meet Dr. O’Doherty for rounds. That gave her time to review his patient load and familiarize herself with each child’s diagnosis. She’d make sure the doctor didn’t have anything to complain about in regard to her work. It was her goal to make this partnership as stress-free as possible despite his opposition of the plan.
When she’d learned about this job she hadn’t thought twice about taking it and had every intention of succeeding in it. She needed this position if she was going to survive and get her life back on track.
One of Lucy’s officemates, a woman with pepper-colored hair and a generous smile, was coming in the door as Lucy was heading out. “Hey, how’s it going?” Nancy asked.
“Fine.”
“I heard you were teamed up with Dr. O’Doherty.”
Lucy gave her a questioning look.
“Learned it from the hospital grapevine. Even from the basement news travels fast.”
“I see.” Lucy picked up her notepad.
“Ryan’s such a cutie. We all love working with him. Kind of keeps to himself but he’s a favorite among the nurses. More than one of them has a crush on him.”
Lucy didn’t know how to respond to that statement so she remained silent. She didn’t see that ever becoming an issue for her.
“You know the kind of patients we see on this floor often break our hearts, but with Ryan around it sure makes it easier. That goes for the patients and us. He’s a brilliant doctor. Not hard to look at either.”
Lucy had to agree with the latter. Even so, he’d not made a great first impression as far as she was concerned. She had a new life to build and being a groupie of a doctor who already had a posse of female admirers didn’t fall into her “need to do” list.
“Well, I’d better review some charts before rounds.” Lucy gave her co-worker a wary smile and left the office.
She’d never been one for hospital gossip and actively stayed away from it when she could, but her officemate’s chatter had caught her interest. The more she knew about Dr. O’Doherty the better off she’d be.
She slipped into a vacant chair behind the nurses’ station desk. Facing the state-of-the-art computer screen, she typed in her password and queried Dr. O’Doherty’s in-house patients. A list containing five names came up. One by one she reviewed the patients’ charts and made notes. She’d just finished scanning the last chart when a deep-throated laugh followed by the high-pitched giggle of a child came from down the hall.
“Dr. O’Doherty is at it again,” the nurse standing beside her said with a smile.
Seconds later, he slow-galloped into view with a young girl on his back. His white lab coat had been discarded. The light blue knit shirt he wore stretched tautly across his broad chest. The man either had good genes or he worked out regularly. The child had a happy smile on her face and her arms were wrapped tightly around his neck. Her head was bound in white gauze.
He stopped at the nurses’ station where Lucy and the nurse stood watching. “Ms. Edwards, I’d like you to meet Princess Michelle.”
The girl giggled.
“She buttoned her shirt all by herself today and got to make a wish.” He glanced back at the girl. “Princess Michelle,” he said.
The girl giggled again.
“Can you tell Ms. Edwards what your wish was?” Ryan asked.
“I want a horsy ride,” the girl said with a shy grin.
“Well, that sounds like a fine wish.” Lucy smiled up at the child. “So how far are you going on this ride? Over the mountain? Across the river?”
The girl snickered and pointed. “End of hall.”
“I see.”
“This horse can’t go too far away from the barn.” He winked at the young nurse and she blinked and grinned.
The sting of pain Lucy experienced when she’d not been included in the flirtatious action surprised her. It was a visual reminder he didn’t consider her part of his circle. She was once again an outsider.
An easy lilt in his Brooklyn accent became more prominent as he continued to speak. “I’d better finish this princess’s ride and get her home. It’s almost supper time.” He turned his head toward the girl, “What do you say to get the horse to go?”
“Giddy up,” Michelle said with another round of giggles and off they went.
A smile covered her lips.
“Why, Ms. Edwards, is that a smile I see?” Dr. O’Doherty asked with a brow raised. “I wondered if it was possible.”
To her amazement, she was smiling. Something that had happened rarely in the last few months. How had that exasperating man managed to make her smile? Maybe there was more to him than she had originally given him credit for. His bedside manner might not extend to her but apparently he cared about his patients.
The horse and rider set off down the passage then returned, and she waved. Her chest constricted. It wouldn’t be long until Emily would be the same age as Michelle. Sadly, Lucy would never hear the sounds of Emily’s childhood delight.
Half an hour later, Lucy asked one of the nurses which end of the hall Dr. O’Doherty usually started his rounds on. The nurse pointed to the right and Lucy headed in that direction. A group of six led by Dr. O’Doherty exited a patient’s room as she approached. The crowd circled around him. Lucy stopped just outside the ring.
He looked over the head of a female intern wearing a lab coat, with her head elevated in a worshipful manner, to glower at Lucy. “Everyone, this is Ms. Edwards.”
The assemblage turned to inspect her. She shifted uneasily under the scrutiny.
“She’s our newest family counselor. Please introduce yourself later. We have patients to see.” His mouth tightened briefly but his words didn’t falter. “Please see that she stays in the loop on all cases.” His intense blue gaze pinned her again. “I’ll have to get you up to speed later on the patient you missed.”
She looked away.
Dr. O’Doherty made a few more comments as they moved down the hallway to the next patient, then the next, stopping in front of another door. He paused. His attention focused on her again. “This is Brian Banasiak. I removed a blood clot three days ago. This is one case I believe that it might be beneficial to have you involved in.”
Might? Lucy wasn’t sure she needed his seal of approval but she didn’t say so. Neither was she certain how she felt about the left-handed compliment. In her last position she’d been considered the “go to” person when a family was having a difficult time coping with their child’s illness or injury. Her role was seen as important in overall patient care.
Apparently Dr. O’Doherty viewed her work as a sideline to his godly power. She’d do her job effectively then maybe she could change the narrow-minded man’s opinion.
“I understand his head trauma occurred during an auto accident,” she said quietly. “I’m going to discuss the benefits of therapy at home with the parents. Also assistance with home schooling. These parents have a long road ahead of them. The adjustment of having gone from a perfectly normal child to one who needs help eating and dressing will be difficult at best to accept.”
Dr. O’Doherty’s look of surprise along with similar ones from the others made her want to pump her fist in elation. She’d managed to wow the man. Why it should matter she didn’t know, but it felt good.
He pursed his lips and nodded as if he might be impressed. “Thank you, Ms. Edwards. You’ve obviously done your homework.”
“The family clearly cares about their child and I gather are willing to do what it takes for Brian to recover. I’ll be speaking with them first thing in the morning to determine any additional needs.”
Dr. O’Doherty gave her a quick nod and with a rap of his knuckles on the door entered the room. Along with the rest of their group, Lucy moved to stand next to the boy’s bed.
The parents of the boy came to stand across the bed from the group. Dr. O’Doherty paid them no attention.
“Brian, how’re you feeling today?” Dr. O’Doherty asked.
The eight-year-old boy offered a weak smile. His entire head was swathed in white gauze. His eyes had dark circles under them and there was puffiness about his face that lingered from having surgery.
“Okay, I guess,” the boy said with little enthusiasm.
“Well, from all I hear from your nurse, you’re my star patient,” Dr. O’Doherty stated. “So give me a high five.”
That managed to get a slight smile out of the boy. He raised his small hand and met the doctor’s larger one with a smack.
Dr. O’Doherty pulled his hand back. “Ow! See, you’re already getting stronger.”
Brian’s smile broadened.
The doctor did have a way with kids.
“I’m going to take a look at your head. Maybe we can give you a smaller bandage.”
“It’s itchy.” The boy wrinkled his nose.
“Yes. That means you’re getting better. I’ll see if we can’t help with that problem.”
As he removed the gauze, Lucy watched the parents’ faces to gage their reactions. Death wasn’t the only time people experienced grief. A major life trauma could bring on the emotion. Lucy knew that all too well. She’d run to get away from hers.
“Will he be able to ride a bike?” the boy’s mother asked. “Do we have to worry about him falling?”
Dr. O’Doherty didn’t look at the mother as he said, “Ms. Walters, my clinical nurse, can answer those questions for you.” He continued to unwrap the bandage.
The mother looked like she’d been struck. She stepped back from the bed.
He continued to examine the surgical site then spoke to the floor nurse standing next to him. “I believe we can place a four-by-four bandage over this.” He looked at the boy. “You’ll look less like a pirate but it won’t be so itchy.”
That statement brought a real smile to the boy’s face.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Dr. O’Doherty said, before turning to leave. He shook the big toe of the boy’s foot as he moved toward the door
The mother followed him out into the hall. “Dr. O’Doherty, we were wondering what to expect next,” the mother said, tears filling her eyes.
“My nurse will answer all your questions.”
Lucy compressed her lips. Where had all the charm that had oozed from him seconds before gone?
“Will he ever be like he was?” The mother’s eyes pleaded to know.
“I don’t make those kinds of promises,” Dr. O’Doherty clipped.
The mother looked stricken again.
This man had a sterling bedside manner where his patients were concerned but he sure lacked finesse with the parents. Why was he suddenly so cold?
Lucy stepped forward, not looking at Dr. O’Doherty for permission. She placed an arm around the woman’s shoulders. “Mrs. Banasiak, I’m Lucy Edwards, the family counselor. I think I can help answer some of your questions.”
The mother sagged in relief. She shot a look at Dr. O’Doherty and then said to Lucy, “Thank you, so much.”
Dr. O’Doherty progressed on down the hall with his group in tow without a backward glance. Lucy hung back to speak to the parents further. The watery eyes and fragile smile of the mother touched Lucy’s heart. These were the type of people who needed her. It felt good to be using her skills again.
* * *
Ryan paused in front of the last patient-to-be-seen door. Turning, he waited for the group to join him. Ms. Edwards was missing. Should he really be surprised? He discussed the patient, while his frustration grew. She could speak to the parents on her own time.
“We’re glad you could join us,” he said when she finally walked up.
Her eyes didn’t meet his. The woman didn’t like having the spotlight on her. By the way she dressed and spoke so softly, he guessed she spent most of her time in the shadows. “I needed to reassure the parents,” she said quietly.
Pushing the door of the patient room open, he stepped in. “Hi, Lauren,” he said to the ten-year-old sitting up in bed, watching TV. “I believe you’ll be ready to go home tomorrow. How does that sound?”
The grandmother, who was the girl’s caretaker, stepped to the bed. “That’s wonderful. What do we need to do about getting her back in school when the time comes?”
A soft but strong voice beside him said, “I’ll help with that.”
“This is Lucy Edwards,” he said to the grandmother. “She’s my family counselor.”
The only indication that Ms. Edwards didn’t appreciate the word “my” was the slight tightening around her lips. That had been entirely the wrong thing to say. He didn’t know how to repair the faux pas gracefully in front of a patient’s family so he continued speaking to the grandmother. He’d apologize to Ms. Edwards later.
This quiet, gentle-voiced woman wasn’t his anything. She wasn’t even his type. He was used to dating freer-spirited women, who thought less and laughed more. Those who were loud and boisterous and were not interested in emotional attachments. Ms. Edwards had already demonstrated she was the touchy-feely type.
He left the room while the grandmother rattled off a list of questions for Ms. Edwards.
After answering a page, he returned to the nurses’ station in search of Ms. Edwards. Not seeing her, he was forced to ask where her office was located. He’d never paid much attention to the family counselors. He knew they had a job to do and as far as he was concerned they did it. Rarely did he interact with one outside other than when they asked him a question or left a note on a chart.
He knocked lightly on the nondescript door with a small plate that showed he was in the correct place. The door was opened by a woman he recognized. “Hi, Ryan. What’s up?”
“Hello, Nancy. I was trying to find Ms. Edwards.”
“Yes-s-s.” The word being drawn out came from inside. He’d found the right place. Ms. Edwards put far too many syllables in a word. He glanced around the woman in front of him. Ms. Edwards looked at him with wide, questioning eyes.
“I’ll get out of your way. It’s time to head home anyway,” the older woman said. “Nice to see you, Ryan.”
“You too.” He smiled as she left and stepped into the doorway, holding the door open. “Do you mind if I come in a minute?”
The new counselor looked unsure but nodded her agreement.
He’d received warmer welcomes but guessed he couldn’t blame her, considering their less than congenial start. She sat at the desk furthest away from the door. Her eyes resembled those of a startled animal as he pushed the door closed behind him. The look eased when he sat down in the chair furthest from her. Was she afraid of him? He conjured up one of his friendliest smiles.
She gave him an inquiring look.
“I just wanted to say I’m sorry for the comment about you being my family counselor. I misworded the statement. It won’t happen again.”
Her bearing softened. “Dr. O’Doherty—”
“Please call me Ryan. I’m a pretty casual guy generally.” She looked unsure about the idea. “May I call you Lucy?”
She nodded slowly. “Uh, Ryan, I know you’re not a fan of this coordinated patient care arrangement but I’d really like us to work together with as little conflict as possible.”
He liked the way his name sounded when she said it. Kind of easygoing and warm. “I’ll do my part but there have to be some ground rules.”
She pursed her lips and her delicately shaped brows drew closer together. “And those would be?”
“I expect the people that work for me to be punctual and to stay with me as I make rounds. I don’t wait.”
“Dr. O’Doherty, I don’t work for you. I work for the hospital, and ultimately for the patients. If I understood Mr. Matherson correctly, we do coordinated patient care. Which means we work together.”
“My OR schedule, which the hospital dictates, means I don’t have time to stand around waiting for you.”
“And my job, which the hospital and the human heart dictate, is to care for the patient and the family during a difficult time. My job is to help the whole family. We...” She waved a hand around, broadly including him. “This hospital should care for the whole person. That’s my job and I would appreciate you letting me do it.”
He flinched. “My job is to be a surgeon, I fix the problem. I don’t need to hand-hold patients or their families to do my job well.”
“No, you don’t, but it would be nice if you would at least try to on some level.”
His body stiffened and he gave her a questioning look. “The parents of my patients need to hear the truth.”
“I don’t disagree with that. I just question the delivery.”
“I thought that was why you were here?”
“It is, but parents like Brian’s like to hear reassurances from the doctor.”
She met his direct gaze for the first time for longer than a second. He stood. “Point taken.”
“What time’s your first case in the morning?”
“Seven. Why?”
“I like to be here when the child leaves the parents to go into surgery. It’s when they need the most support. Many want to talk. They’re scared. I’ll walk them down to the waiting room.”
He’d never given any thought to how difficult it was for parents to watch their child go into surgery. Didn’t want to think about it. He opened the door.
“It’s hard to let go,” she said with wistfulness in her voice.
Did she know that from personal experience? Her eyes glazed over. Where had her thoughts gone? Thankfully she recovered, the hopeless expression disappearing, to be replaced by that of a trained professional again. That he was more than capable of dealing with.
“I guess it is.” He closed the door between them. What was the woman with the sad, serious eyes hiding?
CHAPTER TWO (#u460ad609-b476-5fb6-8cb9-6ba089870f95)
THAT EVENING LUCY arrived home later than she’d planned. To be at the hospital early for four mornings out of the week meant she had to stay late in the evenings to prepare. On top of that there was the time she spent getting to and from work. Accustomed to the freedom of driving a car, she found using the subway system restricting and oftentimes frustrating. Never good at reading maps, she had a tendency to take the wrong train far too often. This was one aspect of living in a huge city that she’d not thought through.
Her heavy-set, dark-haired landlord, who was standing outside the building, called, “Hello,” as she started climbing the stairs to her studio apartment.
“Hi, Mr. Volpentesta,” she returned with more enthusiasm than she’d had in a long time.
He presented her with a big, white, toothy smile.
Lucy made her way up to the third floor above the Italian bistro. She didn’t mind the climb. It was good exercise and she’d always enjoyed being fit. Staying in shape and eating right were important to her. She sucked in a tight breath. That had been one of the many reasons she’d had no trouble carrying Emily.
Emily. The hurt throbbed deep. She had to get beyond the pain somehow.
Unlocking the door, she pushed it open and stepped into the studio apartment. A nice window allowed light into the space. A bed faced it and there was a small sitting area. In one back corner was a kitchenette, functional but tiny, and in the other corner was the bathroom, which included a tiny closet.
She’d managed to make the place homely with the few things she’d brought with her. When she had time she’d give it the care it deserved. It wasn’t much by most people’s standards but she enjoyed the multicultural, tree-lined neighborhood. She’d been lucky to find a place within her budget.
Alexis, her sister, didn’t understand Lucy’s need to move so far away and Lucy had no intention of ever sharing the real reason she’d left. It was her deepest shame. It had almost killed her but she’d had to get away. It was better for everyone that she leave, despite how much she missed her sister, and Emily. She wanted Alexis and her family to be happy. For her to hang around, wishing she was a part of their close-knit group, hadn’t been healthy for any of them.
Dropping her purse on the table, which had obviously been confiscated from the bistro, she put the kettle on to heat water to make tea. Sweet iced tea was her drink of choice. No matter where she lived she took that small pleasure with her. Even in the cold early spring weather she couldn’t give up that small part of her growing-up years. It was one of the passions she and her sister shared. She wouldn’t go there. Spending her evening crying wasn’t part of her plan.
Taking a deep breath, she moved to her bed, pulled off her business suit and replaced it with sweatpants and sweatshirt, then she tugged on slouchy socks.
The streetlight below her windows flickered on, washing the room in a warm glow that only added to her loneliness. She clicked on a lamp on her way back to the stove and after pouring the hot water over the tea bags and sugar she reached for a can of soup from the open cabinet.
She’d gone from carrying a baby and living in her sister’s home, where love abounded, to a shabby room in an enormous impersonal city. She sank into one of the two chairs she had and put her face in her hands.
Stop it. Get a hold of yourself. You can survive this. You have to make your own life.
* * *
The next afternoon, she entered Daniel Hancock’s room to find Ryan leaning back in a chair as if he made social visits to the teenage boy’s room regularly. Ryan had removed a tumor from the sixteen-year-old’s brain stem the week before.
“Ah, Ms. Edwards, just the person we were looking for,” Ryan said, as if he was genuinely glad to see her, which created suspicion in her mind.
He’d made it clear the day before that he wasn’t interested in her being involved in his cases unless he thought she was needed. Now he acted as if they were old friends and he was planning to ask her a favor. She was unsure how to read his attitude change. Up until this moment she would have characterized their relationship as two dogs circling each other, trying to decide how not to get in each other’s way.
She’d play along. Approaching the end of the bed, she smiled at Daniel. “What can I do for you two gentlemen?”
“I was just telling Daniel that he can’t return to school right away. That he’ll need to be home-schooled for a while until his site heals. Can you help to arrange that?”
“I’ll see about it right away.”
“Did you know that Daniel’s the star of his high-school baseball team?”
“I had heard that.” In fact, his future had begun to disappear when he hadn’t been able to control his hand movements. Now, because of Ryan’s skill, Daniel had a chance at his dream again. She could forgive some of Ryan’s brashness for that alone. He might lack empathy at times but he had major surgical skills.
Ryan stood and, grinning, said to Daniel, “I hope to see you playing for the Yankees one day soon. I’ll leave orders for the teacher to be cute and like baseball—how does that sound?”
Daniel gave him a weak smile but seemed pleased.
Ryan offered his hand to the teen. Lucy appreciated the way Ryan showed his respect for the young man by treating him as an equal. It was a way of giving Daniel a sense of control in a place where he felt he had none. Why hadn’t Ryan given the same consideration to the mother the evening before?
She followed Ryan out of the room. “You know, Lucy, having you readily available may be a good thing after all.”
“It isn’t my job to be at your beck and call.”
“Maybe not, but so far it’s working out well.” He grinned and walked off.
And she’d thought moving to New York was going to make her life easier. How long was this coordinated patient care agreement supposed to last?
Hours later all she wanted to do was go home and fall asleep. Instead, she was hunting down Ryan for a signature on a couple of forms. She knew the vicinity of his office but she’d never been there. Punching the automatic door-opener on the wall, she waited then passed through a set of doors that led into a short hallway. Here she was no longer in the sunny land of the patients’ hall. Instead, it turned into the practical world of business. She searched the uniformed name plates until she found Ryan’s beside the second door on the right. It read: “Dr. Ryan O’Doherty, Associate of Neurosurgery”.
She’d heard talk about Ryan not getting the department head job. Most of the nurses were surprised. They’d all thought he would be a shoo-in. Apparently popularity wasn’t the deciding factor. If it had been and the staff had voted, it would have been unanimous. Even in the OR, where the pressure was greater and personalities sometimes clashed, the staff all seemed to appreciate Ryan’s skill and winning ways. She just wished some of those winning ways would spill over when she had to deal with him.
His office door stood partially open. She knocked and waited. No answer. The forms had to be signed tonight or first thing in the morning. Maybe she should page him? No, she didn’t want to do that. She’d just leave the forms on his desk and text him, asking him to sign them before he went into the OR. She rolled her eyes. She was sure he’d be real glad to hear from her.
Apprehensive about entering Ryan’s private space without permission but thinking she had no choice, she stepped into his office. His ever-present lab coat lay across the back of his desk chair. He must have gone for the day if he didn’t have it on. On the other hand, his office door was open.
She placed the papers on his desk and picked up a pen lying there to write him a note. Maybe he would see them before she had a chance to text him.
Ryan stepped out of an adjacent doorway into the room.
She squealed, jumped. Her hand went over her heart before it settled with a thump. “Oh.” Heaven help her, he wasn’t wearing a shirt. She gulped. Coming into his office hadn’t been a good idea.
Ryan’s slacks hung low on his hips and his belt was undone. She couldn’t take her eyes off his chest. An expanse of muscle covered in a light dusting of hair.
“What’re you doing here?” he said brusquely. His tone stated clearly he wasn’t pleased to see her. He stepped behind his desk and pulled out a drawer. Removing a shirt, he slipped it on and began to button it.
She followed his movements as he worked his way up the shirt. His long, tapered fingers moved swiftly. Ryan was a large man to be doing such delicate work as brain surgery. She’d heard he had a gentle touch with the scalpel.
What would it be like to be caressed by him? What kind of question was that? She shook her head. The last thing she needed to do was get moony-eyed over Ryan O’Doherty.
“Lucy, did you need something or did you just stop by to gape? Or maybe snoop?” His tone had turned teasing but still held an edge of distrust.
She straightened and moved away from the desk, trying to gather her poise as she went. “I do not snoop!”
His mouth quirked at one corner. “Then gape? Because you’ve yet to tell me why you’re here.”
“I need you to sign these forms so I can get Daniel’s home schooling set up before he’s discharged. These...” she pointed to the papers to prove she was telling the truth “...have to be in by tomorrow to make the deadline. That’s if you still want him to have a cute teacher. They’ll be all gone by tomorrow afternoon I was told,” she said with the most insincere saccharine smile she could muster.
“Why, Ms. Edwards, you surprise me. I had no idea you had a sense of humor.”
* * *
Ryan should’ve been livid at finding Lucy in his office without permission. This was his private domain and he wanted it to remain that way. The look of surprise on her face and the widening of her eyes when she’d seen his state of undress had defused his anger. She hadn’t immediately turned away. Instead, her eyes had grown darker, her gaze fixed on his chest. It hadn’t been one of her shy looks but one of bold appraisal. Pure male satisfaction had won out over his irritation. His ego officially skyrocketed.
She huffed, stepped over to the desk and picked up the papers. “If you would just sign these, I can get out of your way.”
For some reason he was a little disappointed at the idea. This was the most entertaining time he’d spent with someone in a long time. Who would have thought he’d find the quiet, ordinary woman interesting? No, ordinary was the wrong word. There was nothing ordinary about Lucy.
Ryan picked up the forms and reviewed them. Setting them down again, he took the pen she’d dropped and signed a form. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her looking around. He had learned quickly that she was observant, almost intuitive about people. What was she learning about him?
He glanced at her as he pulled the second form to him. She studied his shelves filled with books intermingled with pictures and baseball memorabilia. Her gaze moved on to the opposite wall. There hung a framed picture of a Yankees baseball game in progress, which took up most of the space. Putting down the pen, he turned to sit on the edge of his desk. Lucy’s consideration had traveled to the framed pictures on his desk.
Before he realized it, he’d said, “Those are my nieces and nephews.” He pointed toward a picture with two dark-haired women in it. “My sisters.” He rarely volunteered personal information to anyone. No wonder Lucy was so good at her job. Something about her made people want to tell her their secrets.
His gut clenched. He didn’t want her to know his. “Is there anything else?” His words sounded more dismissive than he’d intended. He handed the forms to her.
All business again, she said, “I’ll see that they are faxed before I go home.”
He watched her leave his office. Why all of a sudden was he looking forward to coming to work the next day?
* * *
Ryan’s running shoes made a rhythmic sound as he took the turn in the paved path on his way back to the hospital. He slowed when he saw Lucy sitting on a park bench. Her head was tipped back, her face held up to the sun. That golden rope of hair gleamed in the light. She’d removed her heavy cardigan and had her legs stretched out in front of her. He hadn’t known her long but he suspected this was the most uninhibited she’d been in a long time.
She really was an attractive woman who seemed to want to blend in, go unnoticed. It hadn’t worked where he was concerned. He’d noticed too much.
As he grew closer, he could see that her eyes were closed. He wouldn’t have disturbed her but just as he approached she shifted and sat up as if jolted awake.
“Hey,” she said, drowsiness in her voice.
“Hey.” He liked this off-guard Lucy. When she had her full faculties back in a second she’d close off fast. She acted as if she was wary of everyone and everything.
“Been running.” She stated the obvious as he was standing there drenched in perspiration and wearing a sweatshirt and shorts.
“Yeah, one of the perks of working at Angel’s is that the park is so close.”
“I think so too. I already miss the lakes, forests and the spaciousness of the suburbs of Atlanta. Somehow knowing I can come to the park helps.” She began to put on her sweater.
What had caused her to make such a drastic move? He couldn’t ask that type of question if he wasn’t prepared to share in return. “Have you had a chance to explore the park?”
She laughed. “It may not surprise you to hear that I’m afraid I might get lost. So I don’t get out of sight of the hospital.”
He smiled down at her. “Maybe I can give you a tour some time. We’ll leave breadcrumbs if necessary.”
“If I’m along, it’ll be necessary.”
“Well, I’ll leave you to your sunning.”
“I’ve got to go in too. I need to get some lunch before I meet you for clinic.”
“I don’t know if it’s necessary for you to be at clinic today.”
She stood and faced him with an unwavering look. “Why not? I thought we were past having this discussion.”
He held up a hand. “It has nothing to do with me not wanting you there. I’m only going to be seeing patients who were discharged before you arrived.”
Her face relaxed. “I see. Just the same, I’d like to be there.”
She started towards the hospital without a backward glance at him. He’d been dismissed, something he wasn’t used to having happen from anyone other than his sisters.
* * *
Lucy entered the doctors’ shared clinic building attached to the hospital. Ryan’s day of the week to see patients was Wednesday. She looked around the waiting area of the clinic. It had large glass windows that provided a view of Central Park. Painted on the walls were murals with happy-faced animals. The orange furniture and light green carpet created a happy effect. Toy tables sat in an open space to the side. It was a place where children wouldn’t be afraid to come.
She found Ryan waiting in the hall of the clinic. “I’m sorry, I’m late. No matter how much time I allow myself, I still eat it up having to backtrack everywhere I go.” Lucy said as she caught her breath.
He smiled. “I’m starting to expect it.”
“I’m getting better. I can get to work without getting off the subway and doubling back a station. I do get my exercise, though.”
Ryan gave her body frank consideration. “I can see that you do.”
Warmth washed over her. It felt wonderful to have a man look at her with interest. In the past few days they’d managed to develop a working relationship that was at least doable if not comfortable. On her part, she’d spent longer than normal getting to know Ryan’s patients and their families. On his, he seemed to at least tolerate having her around.
“You know, I’ve been meaning to tell you that I like that Southern drawl.”
The grin on his lips and the dimples it brought to his cheeks made him the sexiest man she’d ever seen.
“But you talk so slowly that I forget what you said at the beginning of the sentence by the time you get to the end of it.”
She thrust her chin out and looked at him hard. “Are you making fun of me?”
The laugh lines around his eyes grew more prominent. “I would never do that.”
Lucy couldn’t help but return his teasing smile. Something she hadn’t done in a long time. It felt good to have some humor in her life again.
A nurse came down the hall. “You first patient is in exam two, Dr. O’Doherty.”
Ryan took the patient chart from the nurse and Lucy followed him. The man could turn on the charm when he chose. She’d have to watch out or he might use it against her.
Lucy joined him during each examination. All the patients were there for sixth-week post-op visits and would be released from Ryan’s care after this clinical appointment. Neither he nor she would see them again unless the patients required additional surgery. Maybe that was why Ryan didn’t invest more effort into getting to know the families. They weren’t normally long-term patients for him.
“This is the last patient,” Ryan told her as he pulled the chart out of the holder on the door. “Amanda Marcella. Three years old. “
He tapped lightly on the door then entered. Lucy followed and he introduced her. “So, how’s Amanda doing?” he asked the far-too-young mother.
“Okay, I guess.”
Lucy cringed. If she had a child who was sick she wouldn’t be treating the child’s heath so nonchalantly.
The little girl had an external shunt located on the right side of her head. Ryan removed the bandages. He really had a tender way about him.
“This shunt isn’t positioned correctly. The site needs to be checked and rebandaged. I’ll show you how I want it done,” he announced, engrossed in what he was doing.
“I don’t like doing that sort of thing. My boyfriend has to do it,” the mother said.
Ryan looked up. “This isn’t something that you have a choice about. You have to take responsibility for your child.”
He didn’t wait for the mother to respond before he turned and left the room.
At the girl’s stricken face, Lucy stepped toward her. “Do you have any one else who can help you?”
The girl shook her head slowly, her eyes filling with tears. “My parents kicked me out when I got pregnant with Amanda. I try to do what I can but I’m no good at being a nurse.”
Ryan returned with a nurse in tow. She carried a disposable suture kit. “I’m going to put in a couple of stitches to secure the shunt. It’ll still have to be bandaged and cleaned regularly.” He looked at the mother to punctuate his point.
The mother’s eyes grew larger and she screwed up her face with displeasure. Couldn’t Ryan tell he was scaring the girl? If he did notice, why didn’t he care?
“Why don’t we wait outside while Dr. O’Doherty is working?” Lucy suggested. The mother nodded and Lucy led her out into the hall.
“I know Dr. O’Doherty wants me to see about Amanda’s head but I just can’t. It makes me so sad to look at it.”
Minutes later Ryan opened the door, letting them know that he was finished. Lucy and the mother returned to the room. Ryan looked at the mother and said, “The nurse will show you how to bandage the site. You’ll need to bring Amanda back again next week. I’ll expect to see that the wound has been cared for.”
The girl mumbled, “Okay...” and took her whimpering child from the nurse.
Ryan left and Lucy gave the girl’s shoulder a reassuring pat and joined him.
“I hate it when I perform surgery and the patient is improving but the parents won’t take care of the child,” Ryan said through clenched teeth, softly enough not to sound unprofessional. Lucy had no doubt that he wished he could say it loud enough that not only the mother could hear but everyone else as well.
“Can we go to an empty exam room and talk a sec?” Lucy asked.
He gave her a frustrated look but nodded his assent.
When they were in the room with the door closed behind them, she turned to him and said, “Ryan, you can’t be so hard on that mother. She’s little more than a child herself and terrified. She has no help at home and a sick child to care for.”
“She has a duty to her child. She has to see that her child gets the care she needs.”
“Her grief is so great she can’t stand to look at her baby, it scares her,” Lucy flung back. “Haven’t you ever been in a spot where you thought you couldn’t handle it?”
He went pale for a second but soon recovered. Still, she’d seen it. His reaction to the mother had been over the top—was his cool relationship with his patient’s parents masking something more?
“What do you suggest?” he asked in a tight voice.
“I don’t think forcing the girl to do the wound care is the answer. She needs help. Which I will see about getting her. Until then, if you would write an order for home health a couple of times a week, I think it would be best for her and the child.”
She was shocked when a slight grin formed on his lips. “I’m starting to feel manipulated but I think you’re right this time. I’ll write the order.” Taking the chart he held, he turned and left the room.
She’d eased one aspect of the girl’s issues but she’d hit a nerve in Ryan’s. Why?
* * *
The knock on her office door told her Ryan stood on the other side. Even the rap of his hand was distinctive. Her officemates had gone home long ago. She might have left sooner if she’d had more to go home to. Instead, she was busy trying to see what services were available to Amanda Marcella. Going to the door, she opened it.
“Hi, I was just wondering if you might have dinner with me tonight. Let me say thanks for helping out this afternoon and apologize for making you feel less than welcome on your first day.” He grinned.
Ryan could slay dragons and carry off a princess’ heart with that movement of his lips.
“Just doing my job. No thanks necessary. I appreciate the invitation but I think I’d better just go home.” Why in the world wasn’t she accepting an opportunity to go out with a good-looking, smart man? Because she could be one of those slayed by his grin. Because it couldn’t go anywhere. But why did it have to?
“You don’t think you can take a few minutes to keep a hard-working colleague company while he eats?” His grin widened.
She was starting to fall for his charm. “I guess I could for a few minutes. I am hungry. But do you mind if I pick the place?”
“Sure. Just so long as it’s not a beans-and-sprouts place. I want meat and cheese and more meat.”
Lucy smiled. Something she was doing more often when he was around. It felt good. “There’s meat, along with great salads.”
“Perfect. Let’s go.”
He stepped through the doorway and waited for her in the hall. For heaven’s sake, what was she doing? She had no business going to dinner with Ryan O’Doherty. He was far too likeable. And he made her far too angry sometimes. She secured her scarf around her neck and pulled on her coat. Stepping into the hall, she pulled the door closed behind her and prepared to lock it.
Ryan was no longer there. It was late enough that most of the patients were in bed for the night. One lone mother spoke softly to her child and Lucy’s heart constricted. She’d thought distance would ease her feelings about Emily but with each baby she saw there was a fresh stab of pain. Would it ever go away?
She looked around and found Ryan standing in front of the nurses’ station, talking to one of the staff. The nurse was snickering. He looked in her direction and grinned.
His smile pushed the heartache away. She needed her mental faculties just to deal with him. The man had the ability to turn that charm on and off at will. All the nurses seemed to go calf-eyed whenever he walked down the hall. More than one had requested to care for his patients in order to have his attention for a few minutes.
That laughter and fun-loving attitude covered the seriousness of his job and the caring heart that she only glimpsed when he was dealing with the children. She’d seen him displeased and she was beginning to think few saw the emotional side of him. That he’d let it slip when she’d been around was something to ponder.
Ryan smiled and started toward her. The nurse saw Lucy and returned to her duties. When she reached Ryan he said, “I just got a page. I need to stop by the nursery for a few minutes to check on a child, if you don’t mind.”
No, she couldn’t do that. It would kill her to see the babies. She would cry. “Um, why don’t I just meet you in the lobby?”
“I would’ve thought you might want to meet the family, if they are there.”
“I’ll just wait and see if you are assigned the case.”
He gave her a quizzical look. “Okay. I’ll see you in the lobby as soon as I can.”
Lucy breathed a sigh of relief as Ryan walked off. She just wasn’t ready to face the nursery.
* * *
In the taxi, Ryan grinned when Lucy had to give the address of the restaurant for a second time. The cab driver didn’t quite understand her sweet Southern drawl. He himself liked it, a lot. Her slower, softer accent was soothing. He especially liked it when she said his name.
Lucy had a way about her that relaxed him, and others as well. She wasn’t authoritarian when she spoke but people listened to her. Plus her manner implied that everything would be all right given time. He’d seen it first hand when she talked to his patients’ families. She’d given of herself. At one time, he’d done that more freely but now he had nothing left.
If he ever discovered he had something to give, he hoped someone like Lucy was around to share it with. But now wasn’t the time. He’d never confided in anyone from work and he wouldn’t be starting now, no matter how tempting it might be.
Lucy sat beside him in the back seat, staring out the window. He wasn’t sure if she was avoiding looking at him or was just engrossed in the lights of the “city that never sleeps”.
“Have you been to New York before?”
“Once, when I was a kid. With my parents. I don’t remember much about it, though.” The wistful tone in her voice made him think that it hadn’t necessarily been a happy memory.
“I bet you never thought you’d be living here.”
She glanced at him. “No, never,” she said, before turning back to the window. “And with your accent, I’d guess you’ve never lived anywhere but here.”
“Brooklyn boy, born and raised,” he said proudly.
“So that’s why you have the baseball picture in your office.”
“Yeah. I’m a big Yankees fan. Do you keep up with baseball?”
“If you live in Atlanta you have to follow the Braves. My brother-in-law gets season tickets so I’ve gone to a few games.”
“I have season tickets to the Yankees. Maybe you’d like to go to a game some time?” He shifted uncomfortably. What in the world was he doing, inviting her out to a game? That sounded too much like a date.
The taxi pulled up at the curb.
“Volpentesta’s. That’s some of the best pizza pie in the city. For someone who has been in the city no longer than you have, you sure know where to get a good meal.”
Lucy smiled as she climbed out of the taxi. When she offered her share of the taxi fare he said, “It’s on me. My idea for the pizza.”
She didn’t fight him, just waited on the brick sidewalk gone wavy with age. She tensed a second when he lightly touched the curve of her back but she eased just as quickly. As they came to the door of the restaurant, he reached around her to open it.
“Someone taught you good manners. That’s the second time you’ve opened a door for me.”
The dull pain that he carried in his chest sharpened for a second. “My father was very old school. He would say, ‘Ryan, my boy, you treat a woman like you want your sisters to be treated. It’s the O’Doherty way.’”
“Kind of got off track when you first met me, didn’t you?”
“Hey, I showed you up to the floor.”
“Yeah, but you would’ve liked to drop me down the elevator shaft.”
“Was I that bad?”
She nodded.
“Then I’ll try to make up for it over dinner, okay?”
She smiled. “I’ve really gotten over it, so don’t let it worry you.”
A man who was almost as round as he was tall approached them, his hands outstretched. He asked with a strong Italian accent, “Miss Lucy, how are you today?”
Her smiled reached her eyes. Ryan felt a hot stab of jealousy. What would it take to have her smile at him like that? He wasn’t going to analyze that thought.
“Mr. Volpentesta, I’m doing fine. We would like a table.”
“Anything for you, my dear.”
Ryan gave her a quizzical look. The wait even on weeknights for a table at Volpentesta’s was long and she’d just waltzed in without a reservation.
The restaurant was an authentic Italian bistro right down to the red checked cloths and the candle on the table. The room was dark enough to make for a pleasing ambiance but not so dim that he couldn’t appreciate Lucy’s incredibly expressive face.
She wore little make-up. On occasion he’d noticed that she’d applied a gloss to her lips that made them dewy looking. Her hair was always contained by a ribbon or clip or was braided. More than once he’d pictured what it might look like free. She was unique. He’d give her that.
It had been a long time since he’d found a woman so interesting. She reminded him of Irish coffee. Sweet, fresh cream on top with a stout bite beneath. What kind of magic was this woman conjuring over him?
“Come this way, my dear.” Mr. Volpentesta led them to a table for two in a far corner of the room.
“How do you know him?” Ryan said close to her ear.
“I live upstairs.” She turned and followed the man again.
“Good choice,” he said, more to himself than her when they were given a cozy spot. What he’d had in mind had been more of a friendly meal than a lovers’ evening. He looked around the room but not finding a better option he accepted his fate. He held her chair out and waited until Lucy was settled before he sat.
“Your father has left nothing out.” She spread her napkin in her lap.
“He was a thorough man.”
“Was?”
Left no choice, he said, “He died.” He couldn’t keep the heartache out of his voice.
At her stricken and pitying look, he wished he’d lied. She placed a hand on his forearm and gave him an earnest look. “I’m sorry.”
Her touch and concern diminished his feeling of loss for a moment. For the first time he actually felt comforted by another human being. Why was it that this Southern belle touched more than just his arm? “I’m doing fine.”
Mercifully, the waiter came to take their order and bought them a bottle of house wine. Ryan wasn’t surprised when Lucy ordered a salad. When the waiter left he leaned forward and said, “Do you have any idea on how many levels of wrong it is to order a salad in a place like this?”
“I’m just not that hungry.”
He gave her a speculative look. “If I were to guess, you haven’t been eating like you should.”
She shrugged and toyed with her silverware.
“Not going to comment on that one?”
“No,” she said with less zeal than she had earlier, confirming he’d been correct.
He fished for something to keep the conversation going that wasn’t too personal. He didn’t think she’d answer more questions if they were. “So, did you grow up in Atlanta?” That wasn’t as impersonal as he would’ve liked but he wanted to know more about her.
“Sort of, but mostly at a boarding school in northeast Georgia.”
He cocked his head in question.
“My parents divorced. It was easier to send Alexis and me off than to take care of us.”
His mother had died when he’d been young. Before his father had gotten too sick he’d been there to take care of Ryan and his sisters. They had never doubted that they were wanted and loved. “Alexis?”
“My twin sister.”
“So you’re a twin. Interesting. I bet you’re close. My father said more than once that ‘Family’s everything. Without family you have nothing.’”
Clouds formed in her eyes. “I guess for some that’s true,” she said, sounding more resigned than wistful.
But not for her? “I shouldn’t have said that.” He took a swallow of his wine. The melancholy in her voice made him wish he’d not quoted his father.
“Alexis and I had each other. We were our own family...” She let the words trail off.
He had to find another subject. “You know, it turns out we’re a better team than I anticipated.”
“Even as slowly as I speak, I’m still worthwhile.” She smirked.
Despite her making fun of him, he enjoyed her quick mind. “Truthfully, I like your accent. Makes me think of lazy, hot days and ice-cold drinks.”
She blinked then her eyelids fluttered down. “Now you’re embarrassing me.” She looked at him. “You know something about me. How about telling me about you?”
“Brooklyn, and more Brooklyn. Med school NYU, intern Angel’s, Angel’s today.”
“I see. The source of your clipped dialect, with a hint of Irish burr occasionally.”
“Guilty. My father was second-generation Irish. My accent isn’t anywhere near as strong as his was.”
Was. He hated that word. Every time he said it, it just reaffirmed that his father was gone.
Their meals arrived. He inhaled the smell of the steaming pie. “This is going to taste wonderful.” He glanced up as he bit into a slice of pizza. Lucy watched him. She looked down at her salad. “What?”
“Nothing.”
“You were thinking something. Tell.”
Her eyes slowly lifted. “I’ve never seen a man enjoy his food quite as much as you do.”
He grinned around the warm pizza at his lips. “I told you I was hungry and this is darned good pizza. Thanks for bringing me here.”
“You’re welcome.”
“You want to share?” He raised the slice in his hand. Somehow the word share took on an intimate connotation when it included her. “Come on, you should at least try your landlord’s pie.”
“I guess I could stand a bite.”
He leaned over the table, holding the slice to her lips. She took a mouthful next to where he’d bitten. Somehow it made it far too familiar. As if their lips had touched. He was captivated by the change in her facial expression when it became one of ecstasy as she experienced the taste and texture of the morsel. His gaze remained glued to her lips when the tip of her tongue peeked out to caress the breadth of her full lips, seizing every particle of pleasure, leaving her pink mouth wet and glistening.
He shifted uncomfortably as his body reacted to the sight. Her utterly innocent look said she had no idea how incredibly erotic her actions were. Making her even more mesmerizing.
“Another?” He couldn’t have stopped himself from asking if he’d been offered a million dollars. He wanted her to repeat that sensual gesture. The downside was he wasn’t sure he could leave the restaurant without embarrassing himself, or, worse, her.
“It was good, but, no, thanks.”
Disappointed, he accepted her decision without pressing her to change her mind. With an effort he prevented his discomfort from showing. Based on her innocent appearance and just as enthralling was the fact she had no idea what she did to him.
He took another bite, hoping to clear his head, but it didn’t help. She really was an enigma. In her slacks and sweater, she looked at if she had never experienced much of life, but he knew better.
They were finishing their meal over a discussion of the latest movies when Lucy’s attention was drawn to something across the room. He turned to see what it was. A mother a few tables over was holding a baby of about six months old. What was it with her and babies? He still didn’t understand her reaction to going to the nursery. He would’ve thought she’d have jumped at the chance to meet a new family.
“Something wrong?”
She looked at him with glassy eyes. “I was just missing my family.”
He identified with missing loved ones. But those feelings could and should be managed. Dealing with a weepy woman was something he wasn’t going to do. “I’m going to call it an evening. I’ve—we’ve, got an early morning. I’ll walk you to your door.”
“Go on. I’ll be fine. I need to speak to Mr. Volpentesta anyway. I’ll get the check.”
“That won’t happen. A gentleman pays the bill. It’s the O’Doherty way.”
* * *
Lucy climbed the stairs to her apartment. The place seemed less inviting after spending time with Ryan in the bustling restaurant. The solitude was stifling. She’d left everything that truly mattered in her life behind when she’d moved to New York. Maybe out of desperation she was hoping she and Ryan were becoming friends.
Their relationship had been rocky initially but they’d developed a mutual understanding in the last few days. He did what he needed to do and she tried not to get in his way. Up until today they’d shared nothing of their personal lives. Their work had forced them together but that hadn’t made them friends. Maybe that was changing.
She unlocked and entered her apartment. Flipping on a lamp, she pulled the curtains closed, something she often forgot to do, not yet being used to living so close to others. She began to undress.
She’d enjoyed her meal with Ryan. It had been nice to eat with someone for a change. While living with Alexis and Sam, they’d eaten the evening meal together every night. It hadn’t taken her long to miss that camaraderie, the feeling of being included.
Lucy had felt that same fellowship with Ryan tonight, but had he?
CHAPTER THREE (#u460ad609-b476-5fb6-8cb9-6ba089870f95)
FRIDAY NIGHT, LUCY hadn’t been home thirty minutes when her phone rang. The deep voice on the other end spoke so swiftly she didn’t catch what he said. It sounded like Ryan but she wasn’t sure.
“Ryan?”
“Yes. Lucy, we have a case coming in. You need to meet me in the emergency room.”
“I’ll be right there.”
She dressed again quickly in jeans and a warm cream-colored pullover sweater. Wrapping a dark blue scarf around her neck and pulling on her coat, she headed out the door. After a subway ride and the usual couple of missed turns in the hospital, she found her way to the ER. At the nurses’ desk, she asked what room Dr. O’Doherty was in.
“He’s seeing a patient. Are you the parent?”
Lucy flinched. That question hit too close to home. That wasn’t her job. “I’m the family counselor for Neurosurgery. Dr. O’Doherty is expecting me.” She showed the clerk her badge.
“He’s in exam room nineteen,” the nurse said, indicating Lucy should go down the hall.
Lucy found the room and knocked on the door. Pushing it open slightly, she stuck her head inside the dim room.
Ryan wore a heavy red sweater with a hint of a white T-shirt showing at the collar and dark jeans that fit his trim hips perfectly. His lab coat was nowhere in sight but, despite his dress, the air of authority around him said he belonged.
A young Hispanic boy of about six months lay on a pristine white sheet on top of a stretcher as if asleep. Lucy worked to make the golfball-size lump in her throat disappear. The boy was so close to Emily’s age. This case was already hitting too close to home. The temptation to turn and run was great. The child’s unnatural stillness indicated he’d been medicated. If anything like this happened to Emily...
Ryan lifted one of the boy’s eyelids and directed a penlight into it. A couple stood nearby, the old man’s arm circled the woman’s shoulders, holding her close.
Taking a bracing lungful of air and letting it out slowly, Lucy slipped quietly into the room and stood nearby so not to interrupt Ryan’s examination. She would get through this. See about the family then go home and regroup. That way she would have her emotions under control by morning.
An anxious-looking woman stood nearby, clutching a purse in a grip that could have strangled a living thing. Lucy’s heart went out to her. Would she herself act the same way if it was Emily lying on the bed? She had to stop thinking in that context. This wasn’t Emily and if it had been, she wasn’t Lucy’s to worry over.
In what must have been her nervousness, the woman broke into rapid Spanish. Ryan gave the mother a perplexed look. Apparently he had no idea what the woman was saying.
It was time for Lucy to brace herself and be the professional she was trained to be instead of the quivering mass of emotions she’d morphed into. She stepped closer, lightly touching the mother on the arm to draw her attention. In a low, even voice Lucy explained who she was in Spanish. The woman visibly relaxed as Lucy continued to speak. “I’m Lucy Edwards and I work with Dr. O’Doherty. Your boy’s in good hands. What’s your son’s name?”
“Miguel.”
“That’s a nice name. Why don’t you come over here and sit?” With a shaking hand Lucy directed her toward a metal straight-backed chair near the wall. The man followed them and stood close. She glanced to where Ryan’s wide shoulders still leaned over the child. Taking a cleansing breath, she said, “As soon as Dr. O’Doherty is through examining Miguel, he’ll be able to tell you more.” The woman nodded, her eyes reflecting all the fear she was feeling. “What’s your relationship to Miguel?”
“His mother. No, I’m really his aunt.”
The words bit into Lucy and a swirl of agony formed in her stomach. Could things get any worse? Her hand came to rest over the spot. She was Emily’s aunt, not her mother. Pressing her hand down, she hoped it would ease the building torment but knew it couldn’t. Would she ever recover? Accept?
“His mother ran off and left him with me.”
She’d run off and left Emily. But it had been different. Her sister was Emily’s mother. Why wasn’t there another chair for her to sit on? She had to grasp her emotions to hold them in check. She’d break down later and let the tears flow. Something she’d sworn never to do again. Lucy almost missed what the woman was saying as she reminded herself to breathe.
“Miguel’s mother didn’t understand his illness. It scared her. This...” the woman placed a hand on the forearm of the man standing beside her “...is my father. Miguel and I live with him.”
With fortitude Lucy would never have thought she possessed, she managed to continue consoling the woman and her father. Maybe if she focused on their needs instead of her own, the anguish would diminish. She continued to tell herself that lie.
Having finished his examination, Ryan approached them. Lucy looked up to find his eyes on her. He nodded with what she read as his appreciation and respect but his brows crowded together seconds too long. Was the agony she felt written on her face? She tried to school her appearance not to show her feelings. The question in Ryan’s eyes was replaced by a grave look.
“Ms. Edwards, may I speak with you a moment?”
She nodded then told the woman and her father she’d be right back. Ryan waited for her outside the door. When she stood close enough that he wouldn’t be overheard by others in the ER, he said, “This child needs surgery.”
“I understand.”
“I won’t lie. This will be a tough one.”
“Then you need to explain it to them. Reassure them.”
“I’m not going to do that.” Ryan didn’t think getting run over by a sixteen-wheeler truck could have knocked the wind out of him more completely. He couldn’t and wouldn’t provide the care Lucy was pushing him toward.
“They’re scared. They need the reassurance that you can give them.”
“Lucy, I do surgery. Not feelings. That’s your department,” he said, his voice rising. “You do your job.”
She flinched but didn’t move. “I am doing my job by seeing that you do yours. I’ll translate. All you have to do is explain what’s going to happen. Parents need to know their doctor cares.”
He had cared. That was the problem. He knew the hurt it caused. He knew pain so great that if he let it out of the box it would groan, snarl and devour him.
“No. You handle it.” He turned to walk away.
She grabbed his arm. “Look, someone has to tell this family something right away. I’m not the doctor. I don’t have the medical knowledge. You’re an excellent surgeon, just let them know that. Give them some hope. That’s all you have to do.” They stared at each other for a long moment before she said quietly, “I’d hate to tell Mr. Matherson that you refused to co-operate on the coordinated care project.”
“The hell you will,” he bellowed, and shook his arm out of her grasp.
Lucy’s head jerked around toward the ER desk. His gaze followed. The staff behind the desk and in the hall had stopped in place to look at them with astonishment, curiosity and anticipation on their faces.
Great. If this got back to Matherson or, worse, Rodriguez...
He looked at Lucy. “Okay. But I do it my way,” he growled.
Lucy nodded. At least she didn’t smirk. If she had, he didn’t know how he would’ve reacted. He’d talk to the parents but he’d leave feelings out of it. He’d survived his father’s death and illness on his own and others could handle their problems. He offered his medical skills to his patients, performed surgery to the best of his ability but he couldn’t get involved outside his work in the OR.
They re-entered the room.
The family remained seated and he stood over them as he spoke. Lucy translated. “As I understand it, Dr. Matthews, your son’s neurologist, has explained that the child has experienced a grand mal seizure. The drugs that he has been taking are no longer working effectively. The seizures your son is having now will only get worse as time goes on. Your son—”
“Miguel,” Lucy offered.
That was just like Lucy to make it personal. Something he didn’t want. Ryan glared at her then turned back to the mother. “Miguel’s going to need surgery to slow these down. At first Dr. Matthews thought the surgery might need to be done right away. I believe that Miguel needs to stay in the hospital and be monitored for a few days. But he will need surgery. Even after that the seizures will continue, but they shouldn’t be as severe.”
The mother was openly crying by the time he’d finished. All he wanted was to get out of there. Nothing he could say or do would make it better for them. He wasn’t going to try. No matter how hard Lucy pushed.
He looked at her. “I need to make some arrangements and a couple of calls. I’ll have to see about setting up a surgery time and date. Right now, I want him to remain sedated and rest. Dr. Matthews has already started the admission process.”
“I’ll see that they understand.” She mouthed, “Thank you.”
That wasn’t going to smooth over how he felt about being forced to talk to the parents. His stomach was one big mess of knots. He left without a backward glance.
Thirty minutes later and still seething from the earlier ordeal, Ryan stalked to the family counselors’ office. For a person who couldn’t have told anyone where it was at the beginning of the week, he was actually visiting it for the third time. Lucy had made him go through the wringer and he intended to make it clear he would not allow it to happen again.
It was late enough that the floor was quiet and the lights had been turned down in the hallway. A light glowed beneath the office door. He rapped on the door with enough force that the nurse at the end of the hall looked up from where she was charting.
There was movement in the room and the door remained closed. Lucy must be in there. He’d raised his hand to knock again when the door opened.
“Yes?” She met his gaze. “Is something wrong?”
“As a matter of fact, there is. I will not be blackmailed.”
Both their heads tuned toward the shushing sound coming from down the hall. The nurse had her finger held across her lips.
“Let’s go into your office.” He gave her a nudge. Her uncertain look brought his anger down a notch. He hadn’t intended to scare her. “Please, Lucy.”
She backed into the room but didn’t meet his eyes. He entered and closed the door, and Lucy moved as far back in the room as the tiny space would allow. She didn’t sit, so neither did he.
He shoved his hands into his pockets. “Just what was that all about down there in the ER? Why the big push to get me to be so concerned about the family’s feelings? You went too far tonight, Lucy.” He stepped a pace closer as he spoke.
She stood her ground. “Because the least they deserved was to have their doctor’s, and especially their surgeon’s, concern. They want to hear the good and the bad from you. They want to feel they can trust you with their loved one’s life. To do that they have to know you. They have to have a relationship with you, even if it is only a surface one. They’re putting the most precious thing in their lives into your hands and that takes real courage.
“Do you have any idea what it is like to hand your child over to someone? To trust them to give them the care and attention that you would?”
Her large, dramatic eyes glistened. Was she going to cry?
“Are you so insensitive that you can’t have any compassion for the parents of your patients? It’s a good thing you’re not a thoracic surgeon because I don’t think you’d even recognize a heart if you saw one.”
Ryan recoiled as if he’d been slapped. He’d come here with the intention of getting an apology and instead he was getting a dressing down. Where was all this venom coming from?
She turned to her desk, putting her back to him. “I’ve had enough for today. I’m headed home. We can talk about this tomorrow.”
“No, we can’t.” He used his OR hand-me-an-instrument voice. “We’re going to talk about it now. I don’t think that entire tirade was to do with me or what happened in the ER tonight.”
She pulled out the desk drawer and brought out her purse. “Look, Ryan, I’m too tired to hash this out tonight. I’d just like to go home.”
“We’re not going anywhere until you explain to me—”
“You can’t keep me here.”
“I can.” He moved so that he leaned against the door. “But I’d prefer not to.” Her luminous eyes pleaded with him and his heart caught. The part he’d thought had died with his father. Lucy was pulling him, kicking and screaming, back to life.
“Something is wrong. Don’t tell me you’re just upset about the boy because I won’t buy it. Even with your tender heart, you wouldn’t be this upset.”
“Not only a brain surgeon but a psychiatrist too. My, you must’ve been a genius in med school to be as young as you are and pull off two degrees.”
“Not a genius but I do pride myself on being perceptive. Or at least I used to be.” That had been until Alex Rodriguez had been brought in to take the department head position that Ryan had been so sure was his. “Anyway, we’re not talking about me.”
She pulled her coat and scarf off the back of her chair. “I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings but it needed to be said. Now, if you’ll excuse me...?” She stepped toward him as if hoping to intimidate him into letting her pass.
He shook his head. “Not until you explain.”
She dropped into a desk chair. He took the chair closest, propping his elbows on his knees and facing her.
“Sharing wasn’t outlined in the co-ordinated patient care manual. Can’t you just let it go?”
“You owe me an explanation for your attack.” That at least got a contrite look from her. Was he losing his mind? He didn’t confide in people and he didn’t get involved in another person’s personal life.
“You’re going to make me say it?”
He nodded.
“Miguel’s mother isn’t really his mother.”
“Miguel?” His brows dipped. He was completely lost.
“Your newest patient.” Her voice had a tone of impatience and a touch of disappointment.
He was catching up. What did Miguel have to do with her problem? “Oh, yes, Miguel Rivera.”
“His mother is really his aunt.”
She wasn’t usually this vague. His puzzled look must have indicated he had no idea of the significance of that statement.
“I carried a baby for my sister and her husband. I had in vitro fertilization,” she said quietly.
Being a surrogate for her sister had been Lucy’s ultimate pleasure. Handing over the baby she’d carried her greatest pain. In order to survive emotionally, she’d left. Emily was her sister’s baby, not her own. No matter how much her heart screamed differently.
She stood and said in a flat voice, “Now can I go?”
Ryan’s eyes widened. He blinked and shifted slightly, as if he was formulating his words carefully. “Of all the things I might have thought you’d say, that wasn’t one of them.”
To voice the words had been painful, but there was something freeing about having said them. She couldn’t believe she’d told Ryan of all people. He’d more than once proved he couldn’t connect on an emotional level. If she had been going to confess to someone, he wouldn’t have been her choice. She’d only shared her pain because he’d caught her in a weak moment and he’d insisted.
Still, being new to town and working long hours, he was the closest person to a friend she had. He was the only soul other than Mr. Volpentesta that she saw regularly. That thought was so sad she didn’t take time to analyze it for fear she would start crying. Here she was revealing her deepest pain to someone who hadn’t wanted her even taking up his time just a few days earlier.
Ryan stood. “I’ve heard of women being surrogates, but I’ve never known anyone that has done it.”
She’d obviously shocked him. For some reason she felt the need to make him understand. “My twin sister Alexis and her husband Sam tried to conceive for years. When Alexis asked me if I would carry their baby, I couldn’t turn her down. Didn’t want to...” The words trailed off. If I’d known...
His eyes widened as if he suddenly saw the picture clearly. “So when Miguel’s mother said she was really his aunt, it hit too close to home?”
She nodded. “It almost killed me to give Emily up.” She looked at her hands clasped around her purse.
“Emily?”
“My ba—uh...niece.”
He placed a large hand on her shoulder. The heat from him seeped into her, easing some of the ache. As if he’d realized what he was doing, he let his hand fall away.
“That must have been hard.”
Ryan sounded sincere but a little unsure. Her head spun. Was this the same doctor she’d had a heated confrontation with just an hour earlier about being compassionate? She’d never seen this side of him with the families. Maybe what happened tonight had knocked some of that crustiness off. She looked into his gorgeous blue eyes that compelled her to continue.
“My head said she didn’t belong to me, but my heart said differently. I made the fatal mistake of starting to think of her as mine.” She’d shared all she could. Her nerves were raw.
“You didn’t want to give her up.”
She couldn’t have been more surprised. He understood. “That’s why I took this job, to get away. Had to figure out how to get my life back. I’d like to go home now.”
He opened the door. “Put on your coat. I’m going to see you home.”
* * *
Ryan delayed until he was sure Lucy had made it safely inside her apartment. She’d insisted that he not walk up with her so instead he’d had the taxi wait until he saw her light come on.
He was on an emotional overload. If it had been a warmer day, he’d be sweating. He’d felt more and cared more than he’d wanted to in the last twelve hours. Taken a double shot. All of a sudden he’d been forced to support a family and had later become Lucy’s confessor.
He’d been more in touch with others’ emotions than he had been since his father’s death. His father’s debilitating disease had not only taken him but had slowly taken Ryan’s soul as well. He couldn’t let himself be pulled into that eddy again. He would be back to going round and round. If he didn’t feel, didn’t care, then it didn’t hurt. Supporting someone emotionally was beyond his ability any more.
Today he’d stepped too close to the edge. At Lucy’s pronouncement and the troubled look in her eyes, he’d almost gone over that edge. Only through fist-clenching control had he not taken Lucy in his arms.
They’d both stepped over the professional line today. After the emotional flood Lucy had experienced, would she be able to handle her job? She was supposed to be there to support and care for Miguel’s family. Could she maintain that openness that made her so effective?
Lucy was worming her way into his life so effortlessly that she would begin to expect something he couldn’t give to both her and his patients. She’d want everything and he had nothing. He had to step back a pace. Keep their relationship professional only. It was up to him to make it happen.
The problem came down to whether he had the strength to remain distant when he looked into those stunning jeweled blue eyes misted over with unhappiness.
* * *
Lucy hadn’t heard from Ryan over the weekend. She’d not really expected to but she’d hoped he would at least call and check on her. It had felt good to share her burden with him. Just talking about Emily had made it easier. There had been a time she couldn’t have uttered the words. Now at least she could think about Emily without crying. If Ryan hadn’t insisted she talk, she might still be stymied by the pain. It wasn’t gone but it had eased.
On Monday she didn’t see Ryan until evening rounds and there was no opportunity to talk to him outside of giving reports on the patients.
They were just finishing up when Ryan announced to the group, “Miguel Rivera’s surgery is scheduled for tomorrow first thing.”
“I helped walk the mother through the insurance process and found them a place to stay while Miguel’s in ICU,” Lucy reported.
Ryan gave her a curt nod that held none of his usual humor. It was as if they were strangers again who knew nothing about each other and never intended to. He laughed and joked with the other staff members but hadn’t even spoken to her directly. This was worse than his reaction to her on the day they’d met. She hadn’t expected them to be best friends but she hadn’t anticipated being thoroughly ignored either.
She didn’t make it a habit of confiding in anyone other than her sister, and now that was gone she had no one. It disturbed her that the single time she’d stepped out beyond her safety zone she’d been treated like she didn’t exist.
Maybe she should give him the benefit of the doubt. Was he worried about Miguel’s surgery? Ryan had already proved that he was the kind of guy that compartmentalized. Still, she’d come to expect a certain attitude from him and she missed his easy grin.
Miguel’s surgery was an all-day affair. Lucy came to the hospital early so that she’d be available if the family needed her. She had to work harder than usual to keep her emotions in check. Miguel reminded her so much of Emily that she had to call on her professional persona and do what she’d been trained to do. During the day, between seeing to her other cases, she checked in with the family. She happened to be sitting with them when Ryan came in after surgery to speak to the family.
The dark blue scrubs he wore brought out his vivid eyes. He hesitated a second when he saw her. He looked tired, the lines around his mouth a little more evident. After giving her a brief nod, he turned his focus on the mother and grandfather waiting anxiously to hear what he had to say.
“You will translate?” Ryan asked, again without looking at her.
“Yes.”
Ryan didn’t go down to the mother’s eye level, but instead stood away from her. She looked up at him from where she sat. Disappointment filled Lucy. She’d hoped that what had happened the other night would make a difference in his rapport with families.
“Miguel’s doing well. He came through surgery fine but it will not be an easy recovery. He’ll be in ICU for a few days. If all goes well he’ll go out to the children’s ward after that. The first few days we have to be very careful.”
“Thank you,” the mother gushed, jumping up to wrap her arms around his waist.
Ryan looked shocked but patted the woman’s shoulder. “You’re welcome.”
Lucy might have found it comical if it hadn’t been for Ryan ignoring her.
He pushed away from the woman, shook the man’s hand and left without a backward glance. Lucy understood this time wasn’t about her but she still couldn’t help the disappointment she felt that Ryan hadn’t said something to her.
She’d planned to stay late in order to go into ICU with Miguel’s family for the first time. The boy’s nurse spoke enough Spanish to answer simple questions, allowing Lucy to leave without worrying about the family being on their own. She followed behind the Riveras as they left the unit. Ryan was sitting behind the unit desk. He looked up briefly and met her gaze before his eyes returned to what he was doing. A prickle along her spine said that he had watched her walk out the doors.
Where was the guy she’d thought might be a friend? She’d had enough of the cold-shoulder treatment. She was going to find out.
* * *
Ryan had just finished rounds for the evening. He’d done them later than usual. His clinical staff always knew that it would be a late night after he’d had a big surgery and made plans accordingly. Today was one of those days. He’d had his clinical nurse notify Lucy.
She was waiting along with everyone else in the hall, looking efficient and fresh despite the late hour. It had been a long day for her also. She’d been there every step of the way with the Rivera family. Ryan had been impressed with how well she seemed to be holding up under what had to be a difficult situation for her. To his discontent, he’d found himself worrying about her. Wondering how she was doing. That was a road he didn’t want to travel.
When she’d visited ICU with the family he had been aware of every move she’d made. She’d looked tired, but every bit as committed to the family as he’d hoped she would be. A couple of times she’d looked in his direction with questioning eyes that had also held disappointment. It had been far more difficult not to engage with her than he’d anticipated. Still, he thought it was for the best.
He made every effort to make it through rounds as efficiently as possible. Lucy spoke to each of the families before she left the patient’s room. The families had smiles on their faces when the door closed behind him and his group. She’d turned out to be a real asset. Without a word, she turned toward her office with determined steps.
Having finished on the floor, he headed to his office for a quick wash up before checking on Miguel. There would be no going home for him tonight.
There was a knock on his office door. A nurse coming to get him this late at night wouldn’t be good news. “Come in,” he called.
Lucy stalked forward, stopping in front of his desk.
“There’s a problem?” By the determined look on her face there must be. He had a nagging idea he knew exactly what was bothering her.
“Yes, I’d like to discuss something with you.”
Discuss? Lucy didn’t look like she was in a discussing mood. He’d never heard her sound so forceful, even more so than she’d been a few nights earlier. She’d shared her heartache with him the other night. That had scared him. He didn’t want to know anything else. “Lucy, it’s been a long day and I’m not really up for some major discussion if it’ll wait.”
“It won’t,” she snapped.
Apparently she was on a mission. “Then you can have a seat while I finish cleaning up.”
“‘I’ll stand.” She pulled her sweater tighter around her chest.
“As you wish.”
Her lips tightened. What would it be like to kiss those full lips into a smile of pleasure? Make her forget why she was here? Hadn’t he promised himself that he wouldn’t allow those thoughts? What he needed to do was find some nurse and take her out on a date. Have a good time.
He’d managed to keep Lucy at a distance for the last couple of days but he still couldn’t get the sad look she had when she’d told him about Emily out of his mind. He even remembered the child’s name. He was already far too involved.
After toweling off, he rubbed a hand over his more than five o’clock shadow and decided to shave. Stalling all he could in the hope that Lucy would leave. Five minutes later he stepped out into his office again.
Lucy still remained rooted in the same spot she’d been in when he’d left her. Her brows were drawn together and her mouth had eased but remained in a thin line. She pulled the ever-present cardigan tighter around her and crossed her arms. Her look said she might boil over at any minute.
“So what’s the problem? I know this can’t be about Miguel. He was doing fine when I called to check on him a few minutes ago.”
“No, this is about us.”
“I wasn’t aware there was an ‘us’.”
Before that moment he couldn’t have imagined her standing any straighter or looking more out of sorts, but he’d underestimated her. The blue in her eyes went diamond sharp. If she’d had the capability, he was sure she would’ve sliced him up into small pieces. He moved behind his desk and faced her.
“There isn’t an us. Not the kind you’re insinuating.” Her southern drawl had lost its gentleness, taking on an edge that showed she had a strength she kept hidden. She took a deep breath that made him curl his fingers into fists to keep from touching her.
“What I’m trying to say is that I don’t appreciate the cold-shoulder treatment that you’ve been giving me the last couple of days. I shared something incredibly personal. Painful. At your request. Then you start acting like you don’t know me.”
There was no volcano in any part of the world that could’ve looked more furious and spat more sparks than the woman standing in front of him. But he couldn’t let that sway him. “So, because you told me your life story I’m supposed to be your best friend?”
* * *
Lucy jerked back as if she’d been physically slapped.
For the first time in her life she thought about striking another person in anger. She clenched her teeth. Hitting him was the least of what she’d like to do. Run him over with a car, set him on fire, pull his fingernails out with pliers. Ooh, the man!
She was through being the peacemaker, the one who bent over to make everyone happy. “Look, you egotistical, arrogant man, I don’t expect you to be my best friend but what I do expect is for you to be civil.
“The staff has noticed how you treat me. I’ve been asked what I did to make you mad. For some reason, not obvious to me, you’re well liked. Your attitude towards me makes my job more difficult because the staff assumes I have done something wrong. I’m the new kid on the block so they’ll side with you.” She stopped long enough to take a breath.
When he opened his mouth to speak she held up a hand, stalling him. “What I want—no, demand—is that you show me the professional respect that I deserve. I will never make the mistake of believing that I’m anything other than a colleague you are forced to work with. Until we are told differently, I will do my job in the most professional manner possible and I expect the same from you.”
He took a step toward her. “Are you finished?” he said between clenched teeth.
She hesitated. “No. Actually, I’m not.” Her voice rose, which she almost never allowed to happen. “Fear not, I’ll never confide anything of a personal nature again to you.”
With that said, she turned and stalked out the door. Her hands shook and her knuckles had turned white where they were balled beside her. The clacking of her heels on the tile hallway matched the beat of her racing heart.
Boy, that had felt good. Liberating. She’d had no idea how much pain and anguish she’d kept bottled up. Maybe Ryan didn’t deserve the full blast of the emotions she’d kept in check over the last few months. Heck, yeah, he did. He’d been a real jerk. The release had been freeing. She’d been stupid to ever think they could be friends.
It had been empowering. To let go for once. To fight for herself.
She would’ve dealt with her feelings about him backing away from her in private, but when it came into the patient care area she’d had to draw a line. Then she’d had to say something. She smiled. She’d lectured, more like.
Heading for her office, she passed a nurse who said, “Hi, Lucy.” She gave her a bright smile. The nurse gave her a funny look but returned Lucy’s smile. She was relieved to find her office empty. She didn’t want to discuss what had just happened with anyone while she was still feeling mad. If she did, the other person would be so surprised to know she had just told off the wonderful, charming, friend-to-all-the-nurses-and-patients Dr. Ryan O’Doherty. Haw!
That was, everyone but her.
Was she jealous because he didn’t treat her the same? No, that couldn’t be. Maybe it was. He had at least made it known that he appreciated her contributions in the last week. She had just read him wrongly. He didn’t like her. She could deal with that. What really annoyed her was that she liked him.
The light on her computer blinked, indicating she had a message. Tapping a key with more force than necessary, her email inbox opened. She scanned it. The message was from Mr. Matherson in HR. He requested that she and Ryan attend Jack Carter’s going-away party together as a sign that the co-ordinated patient care program was working.
“Great. Just great.” She was starting to agree with Ryan’s negative view of this program.
A new message came up. The address indicated it was from Ryan. She clicked. His terse message read: “Assume you received same email. Will pick you up at seven.”
CHAPTER FOUR (#u460ad609-b476-5fb6-8cb9-6ba089870f95)
RYAN STEPPED ONTO the landing of the third floor above Volpentesta’s Restaurant and studied the glossily painted doors. Lucy’s response to his email had been “Third floor, red door.” That had been the sum total of their personal communication since she had stalked out of his office.
During rounds she’d made it a point not to stand near him. To make the Siberian, dead-of-winter, glacial temperature between them worse, she seemed even sunnier and happier to see the patients and the other staff members than usual. None of that sunshine fell on him.
If she’d had a question about a patient she’d turned to his clinical nurse for answers. Even when Miguel had had a high fever while still in ICU and Ryan had had a real concern that the boy might require another trip to surgery, it hadn’t been him Lucy had turned to for information in order to reassure the parents.
He’d been concerned about her reaction to Miguel’s downturn but he wouldn’t let himself ask her about it. He wasn’t going to that place he’d been during his father’s illness. But, still, he cared.
Lucy couldn’t have made it clearer that she had no use for him if she’d shouted it over the intercom. It had been the longest week of his life.
Wasn’t that the way he’d wanted it? Yeah, but living in exile hadn’t turned out to be as easy as he’d thought.
For heaven’s sake, he did brain surgery for a living, on children no less, and the quiet, unassuming woman had rattled his world. He suspected this would be the least agreeable date he’d ever been on. With resigned steps he approached her door and paused for a second before knocking. He’d not been this nervous since he’d done his first solo surgery. This woman wouldn’t intimidate him, he refused to allow it.
Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, he tapped on the door. It opened with a suddenness that startled him.
“I’m ready,” Lucy said in a snippy voice.
Her anger hadn’t cooled. Instead of making him mad, she’d managed to make him feel guilty. He didn’t like that feeling at all.
Lucy stepped out into the landing and pulled the door closed behind her. Her coat was already on and buttoned. A scarf in shades of pink orbited her neck. There was a faint smell of wildflowers about her.
Recovering from the shock of her sudden appearance, he found his breath caught in a stranglehold with the realization that Lucy’s hair was down. He’d never seen it anything less than under control. Tonight it hung in honey-gold ringlets around her face and down her back. Way down her back. He’d imagined, more than once, what the mass would look like set free but none of his ideas had come near the reality. Her hair was outstanding, glorious, mesmerizing. If he could only touch...
He lifted a hand. She jerked back as if burnt.
That hurt. Could the little boy caught with his hand in a cookie jar have felt any more humiliated? Disappointed? “After you,” he mumbled as he moved back to let her precede him.
He watched in fascination as her wheat-colored mane bounced across her back as she went down the stairs. Her hair stood out in contrast against the chocolate color of her coat. He’d always thought of himself as a leg man but in this case that might not be accurate. What would it be like to have that curtain of gorgeous hair hanging above him while her eyes twinkled at him and her mouth lowered to his? He groaned low in his chest.
She glanced back at him. The unwelcoming look on her face said Don’t you dare before it continued down. The woman couldn’t possibly know his thoughts, could she?
He had to get control of his libido or the night would be even more difficult than he’d originally assumed. Lucy was already angry with him and lusting after her wouldn’t make her happier. Grateful for the cold blast of wind that met him straight on when he stepped out of the building, he squared his shoulders. He could do this. If he had to, he’d walk outside when the need to touch her became too strong. Maybe they could get away with putting in an appearance then leaving.
Lucy turned and looked at him as if asking what came next.
“This way.” He stepped toward the restaurant valet attendant, resisting the urge to cup her elbow. She walked beside him but not so close that they touched. He handed the parking slip to the attendant.
Her eyes went wide. “You’re driving? I thought we’d take a taxi.”
“Not tonight.”
When the attendant pulled the low, two-seater sports car in front of them Ryan had the pleasure of watching as Lucy’s mouth form an O. He grinned. She liked his car. Lucy allowed his touch as he helped her into the car. A ringlet of her heavenly hair curled along his arm. He took his chance and touched it briefly. So soft.
Closing her door, he walked around the vehicle, bracing himself to be confined in a small space with a woman snapping mad at him. Could her anger and his lust coexist without turning to fireworks before they made it to the Ritz?
* * *
Lucy looked away from the stop-and-go traffic as they worked their way up Fifth Avenue. She studied Ryan’s profile by the glow of the city lights. The luminous yellows, greens, oranges and blues flashed across his straight nose and firm jaw. By anyone’s definition Ryan was handsome. When he smiled, breathtakingly so. But being attractive was only surface deep. Where it really counted, he’d let her down. He’d pushed her away. She didn’t like someone playing tug of war with her emotions.
Ryan glanced at her and she quickly looked away.
“Everything okay?”
“You mean besides us being forced to attend this party together?”
“You do know it wasn’t my idea.” His words were as flat as a table.
She sighed. “I know.” Silence filled the space between them as if they were strangers.
Minutes later Ryan said, “I had no idea you had so much hair. You always keep it up or in a braid.”
“Too much. I grow it for Locks for Life.”
“What’s that?”
“I give my hair to make wigs for cancer patients.”
Had he mumbled “What a shame”?
“Does your twin have the same kind of hair?”
“No. We’re not identical.”
“It’s beautiful, you know.”
Warmth that had nothing to do with the car heater blanketed her, but she wasn’t going to be pulled in by him again. She no longer trusted him but she couldn’t deny it felt good to receive a compliment from such a virile man. “Thank you, but you do know that you don’t have to pay me compliments. I’m not your date who needs to be charmed. This is a business party.”
“I’m sorry if giving you sincere praise and making conversation disturbs you.”
“Let’s just get through this evening with as little personal conversation as possible.”
“I’m not promising that.”
They had stopped at the next light before she spoke again. “I didn’t think anyone who lived in the city drove.”
“I don’t drive often but I like to when I can. You know, this could almost be considered a personal topic.” The smile in his voice shone through clearly.
Lucy huffed. The man was making fun of her. Typical male. Have it out and move on as if nothing had happened. That didn’t work for her. She was still upset with him.
Getting through the party was going to be a challenge, with Ryan’s charm swirling around and his talent for exasperating her. The evening could go one of two ways. She could blow up at him again or fall at his feet. The latter she couldn’t let happen. Compounding the problem was that if she’d noticed how handsome he was on a daily basis it didn’t come close to how fine he looked tonight.
His jet-black tux fit his shoulders to perfection. A tall man, his formal dress had seemed to make him tower over her as he’d helped her into the car. The stark white of his shirt accented his dark skin. The entire package screamed man of power. His haircut didn’t completely control the thickness of his locks. Was it soft or bristly to the touch? Those thoughts were better left in a drawer. She gulped and held her purse in a death grip as she resisted the urge to touch him.
She made a resolution. Her goal was threefold: get through the party; return home; and prepare herself to be professional again on Monday. The other day Ryan had made it clear he wasn’t interested in discussing anything close to being deeply personal. She’d be glad to honor that.
There was no doubt in her mind that she wouldn’t have been his date if it hadn’t been necessary to keep in the good graces of the hospital. She just hated the tension that hung between them. It was a strain to always be on guard. At one time she’d thought they might be friends. Could have been if he’d not treated her as if she’d done something wrong by showing her feelings.
Ryan pulled the car skillfully to the curb in front of the brass doors of the Ritz. The attendant opened her door but Ryan was there to help her out. He offered his hand and she placed hers in it but let go as soon as she was on the sidewalk. She liked his touch too much. He opened the door of the hotel for her like the gentleman he’d been taught to be. The O’Doherty way didn’t extend to friendship apparently.
Only by hanging onto her anger did she manage not to step closer to him and breathe in his scent. He smelled of tropical islands and salt breezes. It would’ve been heavenly to be escorted by such a dazzling man if he’d wanted to be with her. But he didn’t.
She was relieved Ryan didn’t offer his arm but instead followed a half a pace behind her as they entered the hotel. Close enough for her to feel protected by his large body but not overpowered. The zing she’d experienced when she’d touched his hand as he helped her out of the car still lingered. She could only imagine the extent of her reaction if she’d held his arm.
They walked across the marble-tiled hotel lobby towards the ornate circular staircase. She glanced back at Ryan. His attention was on Dr. Rodriguez, who was pacing nearby while talking on his phone.
When Ryan met her look his lips were tightly compressed. He cupped her elbow and they continued forward. “I’d like us to get through this evening as civilly as possible,” he said as they climbed the stairs. His relaxed attitude had been replaced by one of a man on a mission. “This is important to my career and yours as well, I’d guess.”
She looked at him. It hadn’t been a good idea to look into his beautiful persuasive eyes. After swallowing hard, she said, “I don’t see a problem. I’ll play my part.”
His brows took a downward turn as if he wasn’t completely pleased with her response. “Then there shouldn’t be an issue.”
“Agreed.”
As couples passed them on the stairs, Ryan moved closer to her to accommodate them. “Smile. You look like I’m escorting you to the guillotine.” She gave him a wry smile.
“See, that isn’t so hard.” His breath whispered across her cheek.
A shiver shot through her. Being drawn in by his charisma wasn’t part of the plan. She had a part to play that couldn’t include falling for him.
Reaching the top of the stairs, they walked through the double doors into a room filled with people mingling. Attending this function with Ryan had not been her choice but she was still grateful to have him there. In a twisted bit of irony he was her anchor in a sea of unknown people. “I’d like to check my coat.”
“Sure. While you’re doing that I’ll get us some champagne.”
She didn’t usually drink, or at least hadn’t in a long time. While she’d been carrying Emily it had been off limits. At that time, everything in her life had revolved around the pregnancy. Now her life rotated around trying to get past it. Lucy handed her coat to the girl behind the counter and slipped the check ticket into her sequin-trimmed handbag. Fanning her scarf out, she adjusted it across her shoulders.
She’d had to shop on the fly after receiving the emails from Matherson, then Ryan. The second-hand consignment store a block away had saved the day. With pure relief, she’d found her dress. The instant she’d tried it on she’d known it was the one.
The salmon shade was the perfect color for her. It added life to her cheeks that hadn’t been there for ages. The front dipped a little too low but it showed off her breasts to their best advantage. Two straps crisscrossed her back and the silky fabric fit snugly around the bodice and hips to drop into a cloud of folds. The dress bolstered her confidence, which she desperately needed tonight. She pushed her hair over one shoulder and licked her lips. Having done all she could to brace herself, she went in search of Ryan.
She spotted him leaning on an elbow at a high cocktail table. A champagne flute sat in front of him and the other he held by his fingertips. He was like James Bond, dashing and just as dangerous. She’d have to remind herself constantly of how disenchanted she was with him or he’d sweep her off her feet before she knew what had happened.
Ryan watched a group of people standing across the room before his head turned and his focus rested on Lucy. He blinked then straightened to his full height. He stared. Lucy’s heart fluttered. He took a long draw on the liquid from the glass he still held before he set the flute down. With long strides he came to meet her.
He stopped in front of her and leaned in intimately close. “You may get angry, and I know this will step over into the personal area, but, damn, you’re beautiful.”
Heat flooded her neck and face. Grateful for the low lighting, she smiled. “Thank you. I think I’ll let you get away with it this time.”
He laughed. The deep, rough sound flowed over her.
It was dangerous to be out with him. They’d been together less than an hour and she was already having difficulty keeping up her guard. To have someone tell her she was beautiful and look at her as if she belonged to him, as Ryan was doing now, was all she’d ever wanted. To belong. Be accepted. To have a little niche in the world that was hers alone. Like her sister had.
Ryan’s pleasure remained on his face and her stomach did a loop the loop. That smile was for her.
“Come on, have some champagne. Then we’ll make the rounds and do our duty.” He led her back to the table where he’d stood and handed her a flute.
She glanced at the floor, forcing her emotions under control. How could he look at her like that while the words out of his mouth said he’d like to be as far from her as possible? She took the champagne. Maybe the liquid courage would help with the confusion she felt.
“Just try a sip or two. It’ll help calm your nerves.” Ryan raised his glass to his lips.
“How do you know my nerves need calming?”
“Your hands are trembling.”
Great. After days of making her feel like a wall ornament he passed without notice, now he was paying attention to her. She did need to settle her nerves.
She sipped the gold liquid and enjoyed the bubbles playing a melody in her mouth before she replaced the flute on the table. Clasping her hands to appear calm, she said, “The email invitation implied that we should sign a pledge card to help raise money for the clinic in Harlem.”
Ryan grinned. “Yeah. It didn’t take Jack long to get on board, with Nina doing the convincing.”
“I’d like to take care of that before I forget.”
“Good idea. I think that’s being done at a table over there.” He pointed to the other side of the room.
“You lead,” Ryan told her. Lucy turned and stared in the direction he’d suggested. Ryan placed a hand at her back and shock waves rippled through him. He’d touched bare skin. He jerked his hand away as if he’d been branded. One more surprise and he would be dragging her out of here to someplace private. She looked like sin and smelled like spring.
Lucy didn’t slow down as she worked her way through and around the people standing in groups, talking. He drew in a breath and followed her. He’d have sworn he’d been sucker-punched when she’d walked towards him. The simply but functionally dressed family counselor had transformed into a sultry siren of sensuality. Nothing about her indicated she’d once carried a baby.
He didn’t care if she thought it was being too personal to say she was beautiful. He couldn’t help himself. He’d not been the only one staring at Lucy. And he didn’t like it. Suddenly he wanted her all to himself. That wasn’t a realistic wish.
Lucy and he had just broken out into an open area and were headed towards the pledge table when his name was called.
“Ryan O’Doherty. I had hoped to see you here.”
He turned to find Alex Rodriguez standing behind him. “Alex,” he said, more tartly that he should have.
Lucy waited patiently beside him. He guessed she wasn’t missing a single nuance of his and Alex’s interaction.
“We need to have a quick talk. Be in my office tomorrow morning before your first case.” Alex’s veiled dictate didn’t go over Ryan’s head.
The only answer he could give was, “Sure, I’ll be there at six-thirty. I’d like to speak to you also.”
They stared at each other like two alpha wolves deciding how they were going to share the same space. Ryan knew Alex had already won. He was the head of the neuro department now.
“Good,” Alex said, and looked at Lucy.
“Have you met Ms. Edwards?” Ryan asked Alex.
“I have. Glad to have you working with us, Ms. Edwards.”
“Thank you.”
“Dr. Woods.” Ryan waved at the blonde woman walking past.
She stopped. “Hello, Ryan.” She smiled but when her gaze fell on Alex it dimmed.
Had Alex crossed swords with her also? “Layla,” Ryan continued, “I’m sorry I wasn’t here when the announcement was made that you’re going to be the new pediatric head. Congratulations.”
“Thanks, Ryan.”
He looked at Lucy. “Have you met Lucy Edwards, the new neuro family counselor, and Dr. Alex Rodriguez, our new neuro head?”
“Hello, Lucy.” Layla offered her hand to Lucy then turned to Alex, hesitating before she took the hand Alex extended. “Alex.”
She gave his name a hard edge and their handshake was almost over before it had begun. Did they have some history? Interesting. Maybe Ryan wasn’t the only one that Alex had rubbed up the wrong way.
“Hello, Layla,” Alex said, his tone almost as cutting as hers.
“You two already met?” Ryan asked, looking from one to the other.
“Yes,” Alex answered, but his attention remained on Layla. “How’re you?
“Fine. And you?”
“Well.”
If there was an iceberg between Lucy and himself, it was nothing compared to the frigid fog gusting off the two people in front of him.
“Is your husband here with you?” Alex asked, glancing around the room.
Even in the dim light Ryan could see Layla blanch. “No, we’re divorced.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Alex said, but his response lacked a ring of sincerity. “If you’ll excuse me, I see someone I need to speak to.” He nodded curtly to the group and was gone.
“Lucy and I are on our way to sign pledge cards. Would you like to join us?” Ryan asked Layla.
“Thank you, but I’ve already stopped by. I need to speak to Jack a second so I’ll see you around,” Layla answered, not looking at him. Instead, her gaze rested on Alex’s back as he moved across the room.
“Then we’ll see you later.” Ryan put his hand at Lucy’s waist. A thrill went through him when she didn’t move away.
“Nice to meet you, Dr. Woods.” Lucy said. When Layla was out of earshot, Lucy whispered, “What was that all about?”
“I don’t know but I’d say there’s some history between them. And not the good kind.”
“I’d say she isn’t the only one that feels that way.” She looked meaningfully at him. “I know you wanted the department head job.”
“I did. Do.” Once again she had him telling her things he should keep to himself.
“I would’ve thought you would’ve been the logical choice.”
“Me too.” He’d put in his time, paid his dues and had been confident he’d be the committee’s pick.
“Do you have any idea why they didn’t?”
“Yeah. Bad day for an interview.”
She looked at him keenly. “How’s that?”
“Who’s getting personal now?”
She sneered at him. “This has to do with the hospital. It’s not personal.”
“Seems personal to me.” He’d have to tell her or she wouldn’t give up. “My father passed away the week before the interview. I left straight after the interview to attend his funeral. My mind hadn’t been on impressing the committee.”
His father’s illness and death had not only destroyed Ryan emotionally but it had also damaged his career. The timing of his bid for a leadership position couldn’t have been scheduled on a worse date. He’d make sure when the next opportunity arose that he’d done everything he could to sway the decision in his direction. He was determined to make his father proud. That was why he’d agreed to be a part of the co-ordinated patient care program. Why he had brought the woman next to him to this party.
Lucy put her hand on his arm. “Ryan, I’m sorry. That seems so unfair.” She looked at him with deep compassion.
Were her feelings always on display? “And that’s life.”
“That’s a little more cynical sounding than I believe you are.”
This conversation had already touched areas he wasn’t interested in exploring. He gave her a twisted smile. “Come on, let’s see about those cards and then get something to eat. Maybe have a dance,” Ryan suggested.
* * *
Lucy wasn’t too sure about the dance part. That would require Ryan to touch her and if he did so she was afraid she might make a fool of herself. “I’ll go for the food. I’m not dancing with you. This is no date.”
She glanced at him. Had Ryan said, “You want to bet?”
Minutes later they were making their way towards the hors d’oeuvres tables despite being stopped a number of times by greetings from people Ryan knew. He was flawless in his manners and introduced her every time. The charming O’Doherty way.
Ryan seemed to be popular with women and men alike. He was always ready with a witty remark and a quick smile. Why couldn’t she and Ryan have that kind of relationship? Oh, no. She was letting him do it to her again. He’d made it perfectly clear how he felt and she’d do well to remember that.
“Why don’t we sit down for a while and enjoy this without juggling the plates?” Ryan suggested, heading toward an empty table.
They lapsed into silence as they ate. Lucy’s animosity had dwindled but she still wasn’t at ease with him, afraid she’d share too much or, worse, sound needy. Her heart went out to him about his father. He’d obviously cared intensely for the man. And to have lost the department head job must’ve hit Ryan hard as well. For as little as she had shared with him on a personal level tonight, she’d managed to learn a great deal about Ryan.
While taking small bites, she looked around the room at the upper-level staff of a world-renowned children’s hospital. In spite of dealing with life and death on a daily basis, they were still humans with problems of their own. She glanced at Ryan. He too had issues, even though he worked to hide them behind that facade of humor and charm. She couldn’t point a finger. She also hid her pain.
Her gaze settled on a group that included Dr. Woods. She kept glancing toward the entrance, where Dr. Rodriguez had his arm around a pretty woman’s waist and was leading her out the door. Dr. Woods shrugged a shoulder and turned to speak to the man beside her. Something about the way she’d been watching Dr. Rodriguez intently was in direct contrast to the nonchalant way she was acting. Lucy’s belief was that Dr. Woods’ look implied she wasn’t pleased to see Dr. Rodriguez leave with a woman.
Their issues weren’t Lucy’s concern. She had enough of her own, starting with the man sitting beside her. “How much longer do you think we need to stay?” she asked.
“Why?” Ryan popped another canapé into his mouth. “You in a hurry to get away from me?”
“I thought it was the other way around.”
“Why would you think that?” His face took on a perplexed look. “I thought we were having a pretty good time.”
“Well, you made it more than clear that you weren’t interested in spending any more personal time with me than necessary.” She nudged her half-empty plate to the center of the table and stood. “If you’re not ready to go, I don’t mind taking a taxi.”
He stood. “We can go. We’ve done our duty. I’d just hoped to get one dance with you.”
“This isn’t a date. It’s work,” she said over her shoulder as she made her way to the coat-check counter. “Dancing comes under the heading of personal.”
She claimed her coat. Ryan took it from her and held it while she slipped it on. He stood so close that his body warmed her back. She stepped forward on the pretense of putting her scarf on in order just to catch her breath.
* * *
As Ryan and Lucy descended the stairs she said, “By the way, I understand about the department job but that doesn’t explain way you don’t like Dr. Rodriguez. There’s something more going on there.”
“More?” He did not want to talk about this.
“Yeah. I thought you were supposed to be Mr. Happy-Go-Lucky and you were...what would be the word?...strident, harsh, displeased...” She stopped on the step and looked up at him as if trying to pull the right expression out of the air. “You don’t care for the man. Why?”
“It’s personal.”
“Right. You’re going to play that card.”
“Why not? You’ve been throwing the word around all night.”
They’d reached the bottom of the stairs when Lucy said, “Closing off when you might have to share more than a joke. Typical.”
“Look, I’m sorry if you think I have no concern for your vulnerabilities, but I’ve done nothing wrong. I’m not your confessor. You spilled, I listened, and now we move on.” He couldn’t let her know that he admired what she’d done. If he did, she might use him as her confessor again. He desired her supple body and itched to caress her hair, but he wanted nothing to do with being involved in her life.
If Lucy could have produced steam, he didn’t doubt it would be coming out of her ears right now. “Of all the contemptuous, uncaring things you could have said. You’re nothing like people think you are.”
“How many of us really are?”
“That’s a pretty pessimistic way to look at life.’
They continued across the lobby. “It might be, but you can’t deny that it’s the truth. We all hide things from others.” He should know. Most of his life he guarded closely.
“Yes, we do.”
“But for some reason you think I should tell all. Is that little family counselor who wants to make it all better working after hours tonight?” Goading her was starting to be fun. At least, if she was mad at him he’d be less temped to explore his fascination with her. She was so beautiful with her hair cascading around her shoulders. Her eyes glittering with anger only heightened that beauty.
“Oh, you...you... You’ve managed to make it personal!”
That did it. He’d heard that word one too many times. As they passed a small alcove he took her waist and pulled her in. “I’m going to show you personal.”
Combing his fingers into her hair, he brought his mouth down to hers. It wasn’t a gentle kiss. He wanted to consume her. Wanted to get her out of his system, out of his life. The world slowed to nothing but Lucy and the moment. He’d not felt so free in a long time.
She jerked away and he immediately regretted the loss of her lips. He wanted more. The evening had certainly turned out far more positively than he’d anticipated.
Lucy’s eyes were wide as she gazed at him blankly. She blinked and in that second she found reality again. With a quick look around, she checked to see if anyone had seen them. Relief flooded her features when no one was visible.
Her eyes flashed at him as she hissed, “You had no business doing that!”
“It wasn’t business, it was personal.”
She clenched her mouth shout, glared at him before she swung around and stalked away.
He caught up with her before she made it out of the main entrance. “The valet service is out the other door.”
“I’m getting a taxi.”
His fingers circled her arm. She stopped and looked pointedly at his hand. He released her. “Come on, Lucy. I apologize. It won’t happen again. I brought you and I’m going to see you home.”
* * *
Lucy said nothing as they rode back to her apartment. He glanced at her while they stopped in traffic. There was a pensive look on her face and her fingers touched her bottom lip. He grinned. So she wasn’t as unaffected by his kiss as she acted.
Good, then maybe he’d get to kiss her again. One taste hadn’t been enough.
When he entered her street she said, “Just pull up in front of the restaurant. It’s not necessary to park. I can get in on my own.” She raised a hand. “I know that goes against your raisin’ but I’ve had enough tonight.”
He hadn’t had enough and he didn’t think she had either but he wouldn’t argue the point. Stopping by the curb in front of her apartment, he let Lucy out as she’d requested. “See you tomorrow, Lucy.”
“Tomorrow,” she said, as if she was parroting him instead of really thinking about what she was saying. She bit her lower lip.
His male ego took flight. Yes, there would be more kisses.
CHAPTER FIVE (#u460ad609-b476-5fb6-8cb9-6ba089870f95)
LUCY STARED OFF into what little space there was in her office.
Ryan had kissed her. Had kissed her good. He’d kissed her like no one else ever had. Her lips tingled from the memory. She stuck the tip of her tongue out and licked the center of her bottom lip. Could she still taste him? With an effort she stopped herself from moaning.
“Lucy, you okay?”
“What?” She looked around.
“I’ve called your name twice. Something bothering you?” Nancy asked.
“Oh, no, I’m fine. Just thinking.”
“How’s it going with Ryan?”
Lucy’s heart revved up. Her body temperature rose. Beyond a shadow of a doubt her face had gone beet red. “We’re fine.”
Nancy looked at her longer than Lucy found comfortable. “You aren’t falling for the silver-tongued devil, are you?”
“No. We’re just co-workers.” Lucy tried to sound as convincing as possible, tried to convince herself that his kiss had meant nothing.
“I see,” Nancy said, but disbelief ricocheted around the room. She smiled knowingly at Lucy before she picked up papers off her desk. “Hey, it’s Saturday night. Why don’t you come to O’Malley’s Pub for a drink before you head home? Everyone will be there. I’ll introduce you around. Should have done it already.”
Lucy wavered only a second between going home to spend the evening alone or getting to know other staff members better. “I think I’d like that. Thanks.”
“Great. What time is Ryan usually through with rounds?”
“Today it should be about six.”
“Perfect. I’ll meet you here.”
“I’ll be ready.” Maybe going out with a group and having some fun would get her mind off Ryan O’Doherty. Still she couldn’t help but have a fluttery feeling in her middle at the thought of seeing him again.
* * *
“So, Alex, what can I help you with?” Ryan asked as he took a seat in one of the two chairs in front of Alex Rodriguez’s desk.
“Ryan, I thought I should speak to you privately about a couple of matters that came up during the patients’ review meeting yesterday,” Alex said, leaning back in his chair.
Ryan looked at him expectantly.
“I heard that you and Ms. Edwards had a public shouting match in the ER the other evening.” Alex’s voice made it clear he wasn’t pleased.
Ryan had let Lucy push him too far. His emotions had gotten away from him. Something he rarely, if ever, allowed to happen. Now he was being criticized because of it.
“Things like that reflect poorly on my department and you professionally,” Alex finished with a note of reprimand. In a very unsubtle way Alex was making it clear he wouldn’t tolerate it happening again.
“Ms. Edwards and I did have a heated discussion about a patient. We’ve worked out our differences.”
“Good. That’s what I wanted to hear. Do I need to speak with Ms. Edwards?”
Ryan shifted in his chair. He couldn’t have Lucy telling Alex what they’d been arguing about. “That won’t be necessary.”
Alex nodded. “Now for the other issue. I understand that the Rivera kid’s progress hasn’t gone as expected.”
The hair on the back of Ryan’s neck stood at attention as he shifted into fighting mode. What was this guy getting at? With his background he didn’t have any room to talk. Or accuse.
“Miguel—” Ryan stressed the boy’s name “—is doing quite well now. He did have a setback in ICU but he didn’t require additional surgery. His recovery has been slower than I originally estimated but he’s coming along fine nonetheless. Why? Is there a problem?”
“All I’m doing is asking the question that was put to me. I’m not accusing you of anything. In order to have a solid, top-notch neuro department, I need to know what’s going on. It’s my job to protect my staff but also make modifications when necessary in patient care.”
Ryan wasn’t sure how he was supposed to respond to those statements. He glared at Alex. He didn’t appreciate the implication that he couldn’t manage the case or manage his job in general. He needed to get a handle on his ire if he didn’t want to create a problem. Like it or not, Alex was his superior. Antagonizing him wouldn’t be to his own advantage. “What exactly are you insinuating?”
“I’m not insinuating anything. I’m just voicing a concern.”
“Just for the record, you should know that I’ve done my homework. I know about you and your malpractice case.”
Alex leaned forward. The only visible sign that Ryan had hit a sore spot was the tic in Alex’s jaw.
Ryan received a small amount of perverse pleasure from the other man’s reaction. “I haven’t shared this information with anyone else. I’ll admit that I wanted your job but not if I had to act underhandedly to get it. I wanted it based on my merit and skill. The committee voted for you. You’re a talented doctor and no matter how much I’d like to have your position; I can’t fault your skills as a surgeon.”
“I appreciate that,” Alex said. “Thank you for clearing the air. It’ll be my job to see that you are left alone to care for your patients. You can count on me standing behind you. If there’s a problem regarding administration then we’ll discuss it behind closed doors.” Alex stood and offered his hand.
“Agreed.” Ryan shook the other man’s hand. He was pleased with the tentative plan he and Alex had established to stay out of each other’s way based on mutual respect. Ryan still wanted the position of head of Neuro and one day he would have it.
Long hours later he found Lucy sitting in the surgery waiting room with the family of his most recent surgery patient. He’d stopped being surprised at the consideration she gave to parents.
Lucy looked up at him from under half-lowered eyelids as he finished speaking to the family. She really was a lovely woman. Her hair was pulled back, making him wish he could take it down and feel its silkiness one more time.
That evening, she showed up for rounds, adding information as necessary. He was hyper-conscious of every move she made. She held a clipboard against her chest like a breastplate, as if preparing to go to war for her patients. The free tentacle of hair she pushed at impatiently when she spoke intrigued him. Her lips captivated him the most. The urge to create an excuse to see her in his office was so tempting. Only because he respected her enough not to make her feel cheap or self-conscious had he not let his baser instincts run wild.
The woman had gotten to him. First it had been her gentle ways, then her strong backbone as she’d told him off, then her sexy looks and tasty lips last night.
“I think Miguel might be well enough to go home early next week. Ms. Edwards, will everything be in place on your end for that to happen?” he asked. Did the others notice her cute, shy ways? What was he going to be doing next, spouting poetry? He had the hots for the leggy family counselor and if he wasn’t careful it was going to show.
“I have everything lined up. All it needs is your signature on the orders.”
“Good. I’ll take care of that. I understand there was some concern that the family might have difficulty getting him back here for the post-surgery check-ups.”
“There’s a group called Care Ride that helps patients with transportation to and from appointments. They either send a car or see that the family has a subway pass for X number of times. I’ve already signed up Miguel’s family and they have been approved.”
“Excellent.” Ryan smiled at her. “Then I think we’ll send the young man home the better for his visit to Angel’s.”
The group standing around him chuckled and he winked at her.
* * *
Lucy’s heart leaped and did a somersault. He’d included her. A warm feeling washed over her. She was starting to belong somewhere, even if it was just at her job. She was a part of Ryan’s team.
Twenty minutes later, with purse in hand, she was on her way to meet Nancy in the lobby. Her co-worker needed to deliver some paperwork to a different department so they had decided to meet downstairs. Lucy circled by the nurses’ station on her way out. Ryan sat behind the desk.
He rolled the chair back when he saw her and smiled. “Hi.”
She tingled all over at the sight of him. It happened so often around Ryan she’d begun to think of it as her body’s normal reaction. She’d given up fighting it and settled for not letting it be on display.
“It’s more like bye. See you next week.” She kept walking.
He stood and met her at the end of the long nurses’ desk. “Hey.” He scanned the area as if looking to see if anyone was paying attention to them. His blue gaze met hers. “How about we have some Volpentesta’s pizza together tonight?”
She wasn’t sure she could handle being alone with him again after last night. He was well aware of her loneliness and vulnerabilities. Would he take advantage of that? Could she trust him? She certainly couldn’t rely on herself to stop him if he kissed her. Wanting to belong so badly, would she recognize it if Ryan didn’t feel the same? Could she survive if he treated her like he had before? She was a basket of nerves.
With a sense of relief she said, “I’ve got plans.”
His look of surprise, then disappointment, made her heart flip. Ryan didn’t get turned down.
“I want someone to be interested in eating with me for me, not for the pizza my landlord makes.”
“That has nothing to do with it. I... I—”
“I’m kidding Ryan. You’re not the only one who can make a joke.”
He looked around again before his gaze came back to bore into hers. This time the crystal blue held a sauna-warm intensity. “I thought I proved last night that I like you. You taste better than any pizza I’ve ever had.” His voice had softened.
Heat filled her and she looked away.
“What’re you doing tonight?”
“Hey, Lucy, I thought you were going to meet me in the lobby?” Nancy said as she approached them.
“I was on my way. Sorry you had to come back up.”
Nancy looked from her to Ryan and grinned. “Ryan, we’re on our way to O’Malley’s for a drink. Want to join us?”
Only with supreme self-control did Lucy suppress a groan. No way would she ever relax with Ryan in the group. It was all she could do not to act like she had a schoolgirl crush around him as it was. She certainly didn’t want anyone else to notice. Nancy was already too suspicious for Lucy’s liking.
“Sure. I’ve got a couple of other things to see about here. I’ll meet you there.” Ryan grinned at Lucy.
“Great. We’ll save you a seat,” Nancy said.
* * *
O’Malley’s Pub was loud and busy when Nancy and Lucy arrived. Lucy was grateful for all the noise because it made it more difficult for Nancy to quiz her about Ryan. The questions had been free flowing since she and Nancy had left the hospital and during the short walk to the bar.
Nancy waved at a group in the corner. Lucy followed her as she weaved her way through the mass of people to the table. They settled in and Nancy introduced her to everyone. Some of them Lucy recognized, but others were completely new to her.
“We need to save a seat for Ryan,” Nancy announced.
Those that heard Nancy turned to look at her in surprise. “Dr. O’Doherty? He never comes out with us. What gives?”
As popular as Ryan was with the staff, Lucy was surprised he’d not spent more time socializing with them. As she thought about the man, in he walked. Had she been watching for him? Even across the crowded room he’d managed to zero in on her. He smiled and headed her way.
Ryan had changed from his ever-present scrubs into worn jeans and a light blue sweater. The collar of his button-up shirt showed above the neckline. As he approached, women turned to watch him. Her insides trembled.
“Room for another?” he asked, standing between her and Nancy.
“Sure.” Nancy scooted over and Lucy did also. Ryan squeezed between them on the wooden bench. The tight space meant Ryan’s firm body was sandwiched against hers from hip to thigh. His heat branded her along the length of her leg. She squirmed, trying to put as much room between them as possible.
He looked at her, which brought his face much too close for her comfort, and whispered, “If you continue to wiggle like that, I might think you’re issuing an invitation.”
She sucked in a breath and jerked her head around to look at him.
He grinned.
The waitress circled by them and took their order.
“I’ll get this round,” Ryan said, smiling at Nancy then her, “just for asking me along.” His look said he knew Lucy would have never invited him.
The conversation flowed around the table. She mostly listened. Ryan told a story and everyone laughed. He really was fun. Despite all his story-telling and jokes, he rarely shared anything personal about himself. What little she’d learned he’d been forced to tell her in order not to appear rude. Even his story tonight was about someone else.
Was he hiding something or was he just so closed off he couldn’t share?
At one point, he leaned forward to hear what someone was saying farther down the table and Lucy had a wonderful view of his broad shoulders and back. The muscles across his back rippled beneath his sweater as he reached for a basket of peanuts. His hair brushed against the top of his collar and there was a line around the back of his head where his surgical cap had been tied. It looked like he’d tried to get rid of ‘cap hair’ by running his fingers through it, leaving it with a mussed look that had a boyish appeal.
Lucy folded her hands tightly in her lap, stopping if not completely relieving the desire to touch those irresistible locks.
He leaned back and looked at her. “Is something wrong?”
People were always asking her that when she thought about him. She was going to have to work on not showing her emotions so much. In answer to his question, yeah, she was beginning to feel too much. She didn’t trust herself. Didn’t trust him.
“I’m fine. Just tired, I guess.”
“We’ve both had a long day. Come on, I’ll see you home.”
“That’s not necessary. I’ve learned to manage on my own. I wasn’t late but once this week.”
He leaned closer. “My, that is an improvement. Still, I’d like to see you get home safely.”
She wouldn’t have thought it possible but Ryan moved further into her personal space. Somehow it seemed safer to take her chances on her own.
Glancing away from his compelling look, she found the others at the table watching them. Did they think he was going to kiss her, like she was afraid he would? “Uh, sure.”
He stood, stepping over the heavy bench, and waited for her to do the same.
“I’m going to see Lucy home. She isn’t feeling well.”
There were mummers of concern around the table. Lucy smiled at them weakly.
She couldn’t refute Ryan’s statement because it would make her look silly. Waving a hand, she murmured, “Goodnight.”
The table quickly returned to their discussions. Ryan led the way, taking her hand. He used his big physique as a wedge through the crowd of people and pulled her along behind him. They picked their coats off a peg by the door and put them on. Soon they were out on the sidewalk, standing in the cool, windy night air. Ryan let go of her hand and she felt the loss immediately. She hefted her purse strap over her shoulder then stuffed her hands into her pockets in an effort to contain the warmth he’d left behind.
Lucy faced him. “You know that they all think something is going on between us.”
“Isn’t there?” He cocked his head to the side and gave her a slight grin.
“Not that I know of.” She started down the sidewalk. He fell in beside her. “A week ago you treated me like I had the plague. You weren’t even speaking to me. Why would I think anything has changed?”
“Maybe because I kissed you and you kissed me back.”
“You think just one kiss is going to make a difference?”
He stopped and she did too. “I’m shocked that the tender-hearted, make-everyone-feel-better woman is really a skeptic at heart.”
“You can’t turn a cute phrase every time you don’t like the subject matter.”
He grinned. “I’m pretty sure I can.”
“I wished I could stay mad...” she muttered.
“I heard that.”
They fell into silence by mutual agreement as they walked. All the lights in Manhattan had been switched on. Lucy missed being able to see the stars in the sky but there was also something intriguing about living in a techno show. “I’m always amazed at all the lights and sounds here,” she breathed.
“Yeah, it’s pretty fascinating. And noisy. You should see the lights from my place. I think you’d be impressed.”
“You sure that isn’t some come-on line, like ‘Would you like to see my etchings?’”
His deep-throated laugh made her think of hot fudge over a brownie. Sinfully wonderful. He really had a magnificent, heartfelt laugh. She needed more laughter in her life. Ryan being the source both flabbergasted and unnerved her.
“Well, it could be but actually it’s the truth.”
They walked slowly down the street, occasionally dodging people. “So is that how the great Dr. O’Doherty lures women into his wolf’s lair, by saying come look at my view?”
“I don’t invite just anyone to my home.” His voice had turned serious.
“Really? Why?”
“Because I like my privacy.”
When the wind picked up and a light drizzle began to fall he said, “I’ll get us a cab.”
“No, I can get home from here. I’ll take the subway.”
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yeah, okay. I’ll ride with you.”
Lucy didn’t try to argue. She’d figured out it wasn’t worth the trouble. They found the subway entrance and used their passes to go through the turnstile. The station was crowded with the evening after-work foot traffic. As they waited, they were pushed closer and closer together.
Was everyone and everything conspiring to keep her shoved against Ryan? No matter where they went it seemed like his body was in contact with hers. She loved the warmth and security he provided but it was hard on her already edgy nerves. Maybe she should’ve agreed to the taxi. At least it would have allowed a foot of space between them.
When the train came, Ryan pulled her back against him, wrapped an arm around her waist and held her close as the car unloaded.
“Let’s go.” He nudged her forward as the last person stepped off the train. He moved her in and down the car to stand next to a pole. All the seats were taken. “You’re going to have to learn to be aggressive if you ride at this time of day,” he whispered next to her ear.
He made the words sound far more suggestive than they should have been. They had her thinking of firelight, him, the floor. She shook her head. That was no place for her mind to wander. She searched for a handhold on the bar to steady herself for when the train launched out of the station. None were available.
“Brace yourself against me,” Ryan said from behind her.
“I’ll manage.”
“Yes, and fall. Maybe hurt yourself or someone else.” He widened his stance and again wrapped his solid arm around her. “Remember I offered a taxi.”
“I think you’re just using this crowd as an excuse.”
“Excuse for what? To hold you? Come to think of it, it is working to my favor.”
“Ryan, don’t tease me. I don’t need this.”
She tried to pull away but he tightened his embrace fractionally before the beep sounded to notify everyone that the doors were closing.
“I’m not teasing. Give me a chance to make it up to you.”
She sure wanted to. Would he treat her just the same again? This time she was afraid she’d have more invested. It could hurt worse.
They rode in the same intimately close position until they reached her stop. Since when had a ride on a dirty, hot, packed subway car become sexually exciting? Even with a crowd of people around them her world had narrowed down to just Ryan and the effect he had on her body.
“Isn’t this your stop?” His breath brushed her ear.
“Uh?”
“You get off next.”
“Oh, yeah.”
“Where has your mind been?” His chuckle was low and suggestive.
Darn the man. He knew exactly what he was doing to her. The cold damp of the outside was a blast to her hyper-sensitive system. A welcome relief from the heat. It woke her from the blissful Ryan-filled trance and jerked her back to reality. She stepped away from him, putting as much distance between them as she could. Her body had reached overload and she needed to regain her perspective. He didn’t leave her side or touch her as they walked the block to her apartment. She stopped at the foot of the stairs and faced him.
“Thanks for seeing me home, even if it wasn’t necessary.”
“My pleasure. I enjoyed it.” He had a wicked look in his eye.
“I’ll see you next week.”
“You’re not going to invite me up?”
“No.”
“That hurts.”
“I don’t know what’s going on here. What I do know is that you’re playing at something. After tonight at the bar, all the tongues will wag about us. I need as little emotional upheaval in my life as possible. I have no interest in becoming part of the O’Doherty harem.”
“The woman speaks her mind. For starters, I don’t have a harem. Nice idea, but I work too many hours to keep a group of women happy. Second, you’ve been doing too much thinking. Why don’t we just try being friends again? I don’t have to take calls tomorrow so how about I show you around New York? Is there any place that you’ve never been but would like to go?”
“I thought we were friends—”
He put up his hands as if to warn her off. “Okay, I’ll say it. I’m sorry. I messed up. Tomorrow will be no strings attached. No expectations, just two people enjoying a day off. How about that?”
She took so long to answer that his uncertainty that she would say yes started to show.
“Okay, then I’d like to see the Statue of Liberty.” When she’d visited New York as a child her parents had been planning to take her and Alexis out to see it, but instead they’d gotten into a huge fight and that part of the trip had been forgotten. It would be nice to see the statue and share it with someone instead of going by herself.
“Perfect. I love the old girl. How about we sleep in and I pick you up around eleven?” He made it sound like he was issuing an order in ICU. As if Lucy would dare defy one of his directives. “Wear your fun clothes and something warm. It’s cold on the ferry over to the island this time of year. See you tomorrow.” He turned and raised a hand for the taxi that was passing by.
Had she just been sucked into the vortex that was Ryan O’Doherty?
* * *
Ryan couldn’t remember looking forward to a day off more. At least, not since the time his father had surprised him with tickets to a Yankees game when he’d been a kid. It had been more than he could do to concentrate on his schoolwork that week, with thoughts of going to the big game. Thankfully he didn’t have a week to contemplate spending the day with Lucy.
He’d asked her to his house. He took his solitude seriously and didn’t share outside his family. He dated—after all he was a red-blooded man and had needs. He’d had his share of women but had never let them get too close. For some reason, Lucy had slipped under that barrier. He wanted her to see his place, wanted to share his home, his special view with her.
Most of his days off he spent with his sisters and their kids. In fact, they’d been shocked then pleased when he had told them he was taking Lucy out to the statue. There were far more questions than he was willing to answer about Lucy but they accepted for the time being what few he gave. He knew they weren’t done. They worried about him and he didn’t like that.
Ryan knocked on Lucy’s apartment door right at eleven. There was a scuffle of movement before she opened the door. “I’m not quite ready. I’ll only be a minute.”
“Mind if I come in?” he asked.
Lucy paused longer than he would’ve liked to give her answer.
“I guess.” She opened the door wider and he followed her into the small but neat apartment. The first thing that struck him was the lack of personal items. Even as a bachelor he had family pictures around his home. It was very telling. There was nothing there to indicate she had any family that she cared about, and he knew differently.
She wore jeans that fit her slim figure perfectly, not leaving a single curve untouched. Lean and fit, she looked lovely. He wished the bulky cream-colored sweater didn’t hide her luscious breasts. He had told her to dress warmly so he only had himself to blame. She’d pulled her hair up and through the back of a baseball hat and braided it. She looked like a woman-child instead of the competent, mature woman he knew her to be.
After slipping her arms in to a pea jacket and looping a bright pink scarf around her neck that hung below the hem of the coat, she said, “I’m ready.”
“Great. I think we’ve got a perfect day to visit. The sun’s shining and the wind isn’t up too high. We need to hustle to make the ferry. I managed to get us tickets on the one o’clock. We were lucky. They take reservations and there were only two left. Otherwise we might have had a long wait.”
At Battery Park, Ryan paid the cab driver and grabbed Lucy’s hand. “We better run for it.” He loped so she could keep up with his longer stride. As they raced across the park to where the ferry was docked, he glanced back to check on Lucy. Her bright smile and rosy face made him grin like a foolish kid. She looked happy.
“I’ve not run like that in a long time,” Lucy said, panting as they stood in line to go through security.
“Neither have I. It felt good.”
Lucy looked up at him. “It did, didn’t it?”
He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and gave her a quick hug. “We’ll run back after we see Liberty if you like.”
She grinned. “I think I’d be just as happy with a walk.”
He laughed.
They made it past security and Ryan fished their tickets out of his pocket as the powerful engines of the ferry started to boil.
“Where did you get those? Do you have an ‘in’ with the port authorities?”
He waved the papers in his hand. “The internet is a wonderful thing.”
They walked aboard and found a spot on top. Out in the open they could get a three-hundred-and-sixty-degree view of the city, the bay and New Jersey.
“It’s amazing,” Lucy said as she stood beside him and looked towards the statue.
“I love this city.”
“You’ve never wanted to live anywhere else?” She looked at him as if his next words would be committed to memory.
“No. How about you? Anyplace special you’d like to live?’
“Not really. Other than my sister’s I’ve not had a place to call home in a long time.”
Her words drifted away on the wind as they crossed the harbor. He might have had it rough with his mother dying so young but his dad had always made sure that Ryan had a home. Just as he’d made sure his sisters had known they had one when his father had gotten sick. He didn’t know what he would do without his family...
Lucy shuddered. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close. She didn’t resist but relaxed against him. Ryan liked the feel of her next to him. “Having fun yet?” he asked as they closed in on Liberty Island.
“Yes. More than I thought I would.”
He studied her a moment. “What exactly does that mean? You didn’t think it would be fun to spend the day with me?”
“I wasn’t sure.”
“You could damage a man’s ego.”
“I think you have enough of one that it can take a hit.”
He squeezed her tighter in retaliation. When she giggled he let her go. “Did you really think you wouldn’t have a good time with me?”
“I’m not going to get the cold shoulder again after we share something personal, am I?”
“Funny, very funny. Coming from a woman I couldn’t get a smile out of a week ago.”
The ferry docked and they followed the other passengers down the gangplank. They spent the next two hours exploring the grounds of the statue and listening to a park ranger tell the history of the lady.
“Can we climb to the top?” Lucy asked.
“They’re doing repairs. I’m sorry, it’s closed. We’ll come back when it opens.”
“Oh, I had hoped to look out of her.”
She had the sweetest pout on her face. He leaned down and gave her a quick kiss, unable to resist her pucker.
Lucy put her hand to her lips. “Why did you do that?”
“Because you look so sad.”
“Oh.”
He looked up at the top of the statue. If he didn’t focus on something else he was afraid he’d kiss her again. She looked so adorable in her confusion. “My father brought my sisters and me here when we were kids. It was an experience to remember. Every year my father let us take turns picking some place in the city that we would like to go. This was mine. I wasn’t nearly as happy with one of my sister’s picks.”
“What was that?”
“She wanted to go to the Met.”
Lucy’s laughter made him feel good deep down inside. “You don’t like art?”
“I do. But as a twelve-year-old it was a punishment.”
She giggled some more.
“Dad’s rule was that we were to go as a family. I went but I wasn’t happy about it.”
“Those memories must be fun to share now.” Her voice had taken on a melancholy sound.
He took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “The holidays are something when we all get together. Loud and lots of fun.” He stopped abruptly. His father wouldn’t be here this year. That’s the first time he’d allowed a thought like that to enter his mind.
This time Lucy returned his comfort. “You’ll miss him.”
She’d known without asking what was bothering him. He recognized her counseling voice and found it comforting. “I will.” This was supposed to be a fun day for them both, and he wasn’t going to let sad memories overshadow the day. “Hey, you interested in seeing Ellis Island?”
“Sure. If we have time.”
“Then come on. I’ll show you the name of the first O’Doherty to come to America. We can look and see if any of your family members came through too.”
* * *
Lucy wasn’t as confident that they would find any of her family noted as being on Ellis Island as Ryan was. Edwards was such a common name that if they did, there would be hundreds or thousands. It didn’t matter. She was having such a good time that she’d go along with any idea he had.
Ryan’s view of family was so different from hers. Her family life was so fractured that she could hardly remember the last time they’d all been in the same room. Could they do that now and be civil? No one had tried to get them together in a long time. Maybe it was time someone did. Yeah, right, she couldn’t even face her sister.
She and Ryan stood atop the ferry taking them from Liberty Island over to Ellis Island. No other tourist braved the chilly air. The wind was cold but Ryan wrapped his arm around her shoulder and she burrowed into his warmth. He gave her a history lesson on the two islands and the museum over the roar of the engines. After he finished one story, she looked up at him and said, “You’re a great tour guide but...”
Ryan raised a brow as if she’d dared to question his skills.
“Sometimes you talk so fast I only understand the first and last words.” She grinned at him.
“Let me see if this is slow enough for you.” His lips brushed hers, teased and tasted.
She was falling for the guy. Falling hard.
Was it that he’d offered her the first real happiness she’d had in months or was she just so desperate to be noticed for who she was that she’d fall for anybody who gave her attention? She’d always been the youngest, had stood in Alexis’s shadow as the quieter one, had been the baby carrier, and now she wanted to be the one who stood out.
Ryan made her feel special. She was going to go with that feeling, revel in it, experience it, grasp it and hold it tight for as long as she could.
CHAPTER SIX (#u460ad609-b476-5fb6-8cb9-6ba089870f95)
LUCY HELD RYAN’S hand as they exited the boat and entered the Ellis Island National Monument. The warehouse-type building had housed immigrants who had funneled through on their way to gaining freedom and new citizenship. Still hand in hand, Ryan showed her around the different levels, wandering past black and white pictures of people who had stayed on the island.
She probably should have removed her hand but didn’t want to. His friendly but secure clasp gave her a feeling of belonging. What would it mean to truly belong to Ryan O’Doherty?
“I often wonder what it must have been like to leave everything you know and love behind and pick up and move somewhere else,” Ryan commented as they looked at a picture of a man holding a child in his arms. “I don’t know if I could do that.”
Hadn’t she done that very same thing? Just not on as grand a scale as leaving the country where she had been born. In many ways, she was no different. She was struggling to find her place in the world.
“They had to work to rebuild their lives.”
She was doing that also. The job was there but she floundered with the other aspects. Today had been the first day that she’d felt like her old self in a long time. She liked it.
“Let’s go have a look at that book.” Ryan directed her toward the center of the large building. He stopped before a glass case. Inside lay an old register with names written in faded ink.
“Come on.” He grabbed her hand and gently pulled her towards a computer screen on a wall nearby. He sounded as excited as a kid wanting to show off a toy. “All you do is type your last name in and see what comes up.”
“You do yours first.” She didn’t know much about her family tree. That hadn’t been a priority when her parents had been together. Certainly hadn’t been mentioned after their divorce. Even her grandparents had deserted her.
“All right.” Ryan tapped the keys.
A list came up on the screen of all the O’Dohertys who had passed through Ellis Island.
“See, this is my grandfather.” Ryan pointed with his index finger. “He was just a baby then. These are his siblings. All nine of them.” He ran his fingertip down the list of names. “I can’t imagine having nine children,” he said in wonder.
“That does seem excessive.” Her heart caught. She’d given birth to a child.
“A couple sounds like plenty to me,” he said offhandedly.
Pain filled her. She’d already had a baby. “That sounds about right,” she said dryly.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
She shrugged. “It’s okay. I have to learn to live with it. Move on. It’s a fact and I can’t change it.”
He gave her a quick hug. “I think you’re doing a great job.” He kissed the top of her head and let her go.
She appreciated his show of support. If she wasn’t careful she could get too used to it. “Tell me about this grandfather or great-grandfather who picked up and moved his whole family.”
“Well, he was pretty much like everybody else who came through here. He was Irish and wanted a better life. Settled in Brooklyn, worked hard but had little other than family. And family is everything.”
“And your dad and mom?”
He looked away as if he wouldn’t answer then he turned back to her. “Mom was the local girl who married the big Irish policeman who came into the café where she worked. Mother used to say she fell in love with his Irish brogue and the rest of him just came with it.”
“So that’s where you get the hint of an inflection intermingled with your Brooklyn clip.”
He chuckled. “That’s a nice way of putting it. Mostly the Brooklyn has taken over but every once in a while the Irish really shows through.”
“How old were you when your mother died?”
“Thirteen.”
She didn’t miss the hitch of pain in the word. “Your sisters?”
“My sisters were a number of years younger. Dad became both parents.”
“That must have been tough, on all of you.”
“It was, but I think it was toughest on Dad. He’d lost the love of his life. He wasn’t only the breadwinner but he had to be the stable factor in our lives when his was crumbling.”
“Crumbling?”
He hesitated as if he didn’t want to say more. “He got sick. He developed motor neuron disease.”
“You had said he’d died but not that he’d died so slowly. That must have been horrible for him. You and your sisters.” She grasped one of his biceps and squeezed, hoping to relay her sympathy.
As if he’d gone off into the past, he continued, “I saw him struggle to keep his job for as long as he could. Then be forced to give up one more thing he loved.”
He needed to talk. She knew not only from her experience as a counselor but because she’d been in the same place when her parents had divorced and again when she’d left Alexis and Emily. Ryan and she had both known loss.
“I had to watch this rock of a man slowly die. He had to be put into a nursing home. I thought it might kill him to go but I was the one it almost killed. I hated it that he needed to be there.”
Ryan was pouring out his pain like water that had been dammed and needed a place to go. How long had he been keeping all this pain to himself? No wonder he’d isolated himself from the families of his patients. She felt troubled. She’d pushed him to be more open.
“You carried the responsibility, didn’t you? For everything. Him, your sisters. For holding things together.”
He looked at her as if amazed. As if for the first time he recognized that someone understood.
“Yeah. I visited him as often as I could. Took care of my sisters.”
Ryan’s reaction to what she’d told him about Emily suddenly made sense. He’d supported others’ emotions for so long that he didn’t want to carry hers. She hadn’t once heard anyone at the hospital talk about his father having just died. She bet he’d never let on to anyone what he was going through. He’d just shared a part of himself that few saw. She was honored to be one of those people.
“You’re a good man, Ryan O’Doherty.” She would have hugged him but she didn’t think he would appreciate that much pity. He was also a proud man.
“Are you through?” a man with a wife and couple of kids standing nearby asked.
“Yes,” Ryan said, stepping away from the computer.
He took her hand again and she gave his a squeeze. She didn’t want him to close himself off like he’d done before.
As they walked toward the entrance, Ryan said, “We didn’t look up your family name.” He turned as if to go back.
She tugged on his hand. “We’ll do it next time.” Would there be a next time? It would be nice if there was. She was enjoying her day with Ryan.
They boarded the ferry that would take them back to Manhattan and found a spot inside, out of the late afternoon wind.
“Are you hungry?”
Lucy found to her surprise she was, in more ways than one. “I’m getting that way.”
“If we have another hot chocolate, will that hold you over for an hour or so?”
“I think I can survive that long.”
“Do you like Chinese?”
“I do.”
“Then Chinese it is.” He pulled out his phone and made a call before he left to order their hot drinks.
They said little as they sipped their hot chocolate. Lucy was surprised how quickly she’d become comfortable in Ryan’s presence. They had bonded in a way she’d never expected they would or could. After their first meeting she would have said it was impossible for them to find common ground.
“Look here,” Ryan said.
“What’s wrong?”
He leaned over and kissed her, his tongue lightly brushing her upper lip. It was quick and warm and, oh, so short.
When he pulled away she said, “Why did you do that? You could have told me and I would have used a napkin.”
His blue eyes danced with mischief. “If I’d done that I wouldn’t have gotten that last extra sweet taste of chocolate.”
“No, I guess you wouldn’t have.”
She was having fun. She looked into the eyes of the big, sensitive, caring and highly intelligent man beside her with the devilish sense of humor and knew she’d lost her ability to be rational about him. She had real feelings for the guy. It was an intoxicating while at the same time disturbing reality. Would there be more heartache in her future?
* * *
Ryan licked his lips as if getting every last drop of chocolate from them and grinned at her. “You have any more to share?”
“I do not.” She looked so indignant that he laughed. She grinned at him.
He couldn’t believe that he’d told Lucy so much about his father. He’d never confided to anyone outside his family and for the most part he’d not even done that. His father had been an intensely proud man and Ryan had been gifted with that same propensity, good or bad. It was an issue of pride for Ryan that he could handle his own problems. He’d never shared his innermost feelings with anyone before but Lucy made him feel secure enough to do so.
Why had he? He should feel naked and vulnerable now that she knew so much about him. Instead, relief had washed over him at being able to tell someone about the burden of loss and pain he carried. He found it rather liberating.
“Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask you where you learned to speak Spanish so well. I don’t think of Georgia as the go-to place.”
“I learned it from my father’s Mexican housekeeper at his home in LA. Alexis and I spent a lot of time with her. I just picked it up.”
He pulled her to him and smiled down at her. “And it came in handy a few times.”
“Just a few?” She smiled shyly back at him.
He wanted to kiss her, not a quick peck or a teasing brush but a real kiss right there in front of everybody. He brought her against him. His lips met her soft warm ones that tasted faintly of chocolate.
She grabbed his coat and pulled, going up on her toes. Her acceptance fed his desire. He requested admission with the end of his tongue, and she granted it. Entering, he found a heated cavern of pleasure. This was a kiss.
“Hey, buddy. Get a room,” someone called.
Lucy jerked away, but she still had handfuls of his coat. Her eyes were large and awestruck, her lips cherry red from his kiss.
“Was that a friendly kiss?”
He laughed. “The friendliest. Come on...” He took her hand.
“Where are we going?”
“My place.”
“I’m going to see those lights?”
“Yes.”
“Ryan, I don’t think—”
“I said fun and no pressure, remember? I keep my word.”
“That would be the O’Doherty way.”
“Yes, it would.”
* * *
Lucy was still reeling from Ryan’s kiss as she followed him out of the subway into the early evening air.
They had shared a real kiss. The kiss of a man who wanted a woman. Was she stepping into water over her head? If she was, would she sink so far under Ryan’s spell that she’d never come up?
They were in an area of small privately owned stores. People milled on the sidewalks in front of the stores. She’d never been to Brooklyn but she’d not expected to find the small-community feel within a large metropolis. Ryan’s stride changed, became more leisurely, as if he’d returned home.
“I live about a half a mile from here. Would you like to walk or should I call for a taxi?”
“Walking would be nice. I’d like to see where you grew up.”
As they strolled hand in hand Ryan spoke to a shop owner, introduced her to a former high school teacher and her husband. Others waved or called out to him. It was a community proud of their home-grown boy done well.
“You love living here, don’t you?”
“What’s not to love? And I’ve known nothing else.”
“Never thought of moving on up? The super-neurosurgeon who outgrew his roots?”
“No, here suits me just fine.”
And it did. What was it like to be that secure in those around you that you knew you belonged?
They walked down a small hill that had a line of new-looking condos that had not been constructed to look so modern that they didn’t blend with the rest of the buildings along the waterfront. At the one closest to the East River, Ryan stopped in front of a door stained a dark color. He fished in his pocket and pulled out keys.
“You live here?” Lucy made no effort to hide her amazement. “What a beautiful spot.” Across the East River was Lower Manhattan with all its enormous buildings, including those around Wall Street.
“Come on in,” Ryan said as he opened the door. “Our Chinese should be here soon. We’ll eat out on the deck.”
He led her straight through the living room, stopping long enough to flip on a light in the kitchen before they went out a glass door to a deck. It ran the length of the condo out the back and had a privacy fence separating him from his neighbor. There was a small table with two chairs and an oversized and wide lounge that faced the city.
“I think we timed it just right for dinner and a show.”
She put her hands on her hips and gave him a skeptical look. “So you’re sticking with that story?”
“I am.”
“We eat and then the light show begins.”
The doorbell buzzed. “That will be our supper.”
While Ryan was gone, Lucy looked across the river, watching the shadows begin to fall across the buildings and the orange of the western sky become the backdrop. Ryan had a lovely place to live.
He returned with two paper bags filled with wonderful-smelling food. “I thought we’d have a picnic. Eat out of the boxes. Share.” Going back inside, he brought out two glasses and a bottle of wine. With minimal effort he opened the bottle and poured them both drinks. He then pulled boxes and other items out of the sacks and placed them on the table. “Have a seat.”
She pulled out a chair and sat. “Is there a fork?”
“Fork! There are no forks with Chinese food.” He grinned at her as he picked up chopsticks covered in paper and handed them to her with a flair of a magician. “Have any experience?”
“A little.”
“I’ll help you.” He opened a box of rice, pushed it toward her and opened another for himself. A larger container with chicken and broccoli he placed between them. He stripped the paper off the chopsticks and manipulated them like a pro between his lean fingers. She shouldn’t have been surprised. The dexterity he used to do delicate brain surgery would lend itself to using chopsticks to eat.
She followed suit with the chopsticks but her ability was much more hit and miss than his. Ryan laughed when she must have looked like a snapping turtle going after a morsel before it fell back into the box.
“You’re going to starve at that rate and I’m going to look like a poor host. Let me help.” He scooted closer and offered her a bite on the end of his chopsticks.
She continued to make efforts of her own while he filled in between them. Over one offering she looked up and found him looking at her intently. It was heady to be the center of his attention. One who loved those he cared about so totally. She could be overwhelmed by his magnetism with little effort on his part.
Ryan looked away, breaking the moment, and dropped his chopsticks into an empty container. He stood and put out his hand. “Come on, we’re going to miss the show.”
She put her palm against his and stood. He led her to the lounger. Letting go of her hand, he settled into the chair and stretched out his long legs. “Join me.” He patted the space next to him.
The lounge should have been large enough for two but with Ryan’s size it seemed far too small. “There’s not enough room for both of us. I’ll just pull a chair over here.”
“I’ll make room.” He scooted over as if he planned to give her plenty of room. “The show’s much better from here.”
She sat alongside him. They touched from shoulder to foot. She pulled her coat closer around her. He picked up a blanket from beside the chair and spread it over their legs. “Lift your head.” She did so and he slid an arm behind her neck, resting his hand on her shoulder. He tucked her closer. “Relax.”
“I am relaxed.”
“No, you’re not. You’re as tight as a guitar string.”
She shifted and found a more comfortable position.
“You know, if you keep that up this may not remain just a light show between friends.”
She stiffened. What had she been thinking to agree to this?
Ryan chuckled. “I’m kidding. I’m not going to do anything that you don’t want me to.”
Hadn’t he kept his word so far? The problem was, she wanted him to do plenty. Settling next to him and clasping her hands in her lap, she looked at the horizon. The lights of the city began to flicker on. “Oh, this is amazing. I just saw the lights on the top of the Chrysler Building come on.”
“It’s beautiful.” He fingered the tail of her braid, which was lying against her arm.
“Thanks for sharing this with me. It’s everything you said it was.”
“You’re welcome.”
They continued to watch until the kaleidoscope of colors from the buildings reflected off the water. Could anything be more wonderful than being in Ryan’s arms and watching the sun set to a beautiful light show?
“Wow, this view is something. You must be in demand as a date for this alone.”
“So you think my sex appeal is location-related?” He spoke so close to her ear that his warm breath brushed her skin.
She kept her focus on the lights of the city. “I think you’re fishing for a compliment.”
“Maybe. I thought I told you that I don’t bring people home.”
“By people, do you mean women?”
“Yes. Women. You’re the only woman who has ever shared my view.”
She sat up and twisted around so she could look down at him. “Why?”
His fingers played with the end of her braid, which now fell over one breast. His look met hers. “Because,” he said, his voice low, “you’re the only one I’ve ever wanted to share it with.” Wrapping a hand around the mass of hair, he tugged gently, bringing her down to him. His hand cupped her head as he guided her mouth to his. His breath brushed her lips. “I’m going to kiss you. It won’t be a friendly kiss. If you don’t want this, you need to tell me to stop now.”
“The O’Doherty way? A gentleman always.” Her lips touched his.
He pulled her head closer, slanting his mouth and taking the kiss deeper. His tongue found the seam of her lips and demanded entrance. When she didn’t immediately open he pulled back and placed small searching kisses along her bottom lip. He shifted her until she lay along him. Her body followed the contours of his.
Did heaven feel like this?
When the bill of her cap hit him in the forehead she reached up and pulled it off.
He ran his hand down her braid. “I love your hair. You have no idea how many times I’ve wanted to touch it.”
She reached to remove the band. What little light there was spilled out from the kitchen.
“No, don’t. I want to be the one who sets it free.” His voice had gone low and gruff, creating tingles inside her.
Gently he removed the band from the end. He drew a finger between the sections of the braid, slowly releasing them as if he were opening a present he’d been eager to see for weeks. His sure, precise movements told of his skill as a surgeon. What she did to her hair every day he turned into a sensual experience.
“I know of no one who has hair as beautiful as yours.” He fanned his fingers out and ran them over her head, finishing the job. The waves fell about her shoulders and flowed around them. Filling his hands, Ryan watched in fascination as it spilled between his fingers. He brought a long lock to his cheek, sliding it across his skin.
His mouth returned to hers and this time when he asked, she opened. His tongue entered, savored, sipped and swirled, while his hands burrowed into her hair to hold her head.
She squirmed.
“Easy, honey. We have all night if you wish.” His tone was low and soothing but the tension in his body and the ridge below her hip said he was just as aroused as she was.
Her hands traveled up his chest and wrapped around his neck. Her mouth came down to his, then tugged on his bottom lip before she pressed her mouth firmly against his, letting him know just how much she desired him.
His hands spread her hair out along her back and moved to her waist. He ran a hand under her coat and lightly grazed the inch of bare skin separating her shirt from her pants.
She shivered.
He released her mouth and kissed his way across her cheek to nuzzle behind her ear. His hands glided over the hyper-sensitive skin of her back.
She moaned.
“You like that, do you?” He nuzzled her again while his hands pushed her shirt upwards. He released her bra, his fingertips grazing the under-curve of her breast.
She flinched at the shock of sensation that rocketed through her. His fingertips were prickling heat and softest torture as they trailed over her skin.
“Lift up, honey.”
“We can’t do this here?”
“Why not?” He hushed her opposition by bringing his mouth to hers and giving her another mind-altering kiss. “Are you cold?”
If he continued to kiss her like that, she’d do anything he wanted. She arched her back, allowing him to push her coat away. The movement brought her center into intimate contact with his rigid manhood.
Ryan O’Doherty wanted her. Her.
“Put your hands on my shoulders.”
She did so and he stripped her shirt and bra away. Before she could lower her arms his mouth found a nipple. His lips dropped away with infinite slowness. His actions and the cold air touching her sensitive tip caused her to shudder.
His low chuckle was one of pure male satisfaction.
She hadn’t recovered from the honeyed moment before Ryan showed the same mind-blowing attention to the other breast. His hands skimmed her waist then flowed leisurely upwards until his hands cupped both breasts. He lifted, and weighed them.
They’d changed while she’d carried Emily. Would he mind?
“Perfection,” he murmured, before he kissed the tip of each one again.
Not recovered from his devotion, she sucked in a swift breath when his hands skimmed downwards and dipped below the waist of her jeans while he left kisses across her breasts. She whimpered.
“More?”
“Mmm.” She sounded entirely too sensual even to her own ears. Ryan was making her feel more than she’d ever felt before and he’d done little more than kiss her.
She brought her hands down to his chest. He shifted so they lay facing each other and continued to fondle her breasts as if he found them extremely fascinating. She was grateful he couldn’t see them well. They weren’t as firm or high as they had been before Emily.
Her hand slid down to the edge of his sweater to play with the hem.
“You can touch me,” Ryan said before he nipped at her earlobe. “In fact, I wish you would,” he said as he found her mouth again.
She accepted his invitation and slid her hands under his pullover. It was warm there but his T-shirt still created a barrier. Touching skin was her goal.
Ryan must have heard her groan of frustration because he let go of her and pulled his jacket off and then his sweater. Jerked his shirt from his waistband. “I might lose my mind before you get up the nerve.”
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Susan Carlisle
Tina Beckett
Wendy S. Marcus
Love always finds a way…Since making the ultimate emotional sacrifice, counsellor Lucy Edwards has heart on lockdown. Enter neurosurgeon Ryan O’Doherty, with piercing blue eyes and roguish charm…Dr Brad Davis knows that Nurse Chloe Jenkins is off limits. But when she shows up on his doorstep barefoot, seeking refuge, Brad is very tempted to break all the rules…Scarlet Miller is a force to be reckoned with. But A&E doc Lewis Jackson ties her heart up in knots! Suddenly this tough cookie nurse is wondering if she’s finally met her match…
About the Authors
Susan Carlisle’s love affair with books began in the sixth grade, when she made a bad grade in mathematics. Not allowed to watch TV until she’d brought the grade up, Susan filled her time with books. She turned her love of reading into a passion for writing, and now has over ten Medical Romances published through Mills & Boon. She writes about hot, sexy docs and the strong women who captivate them. Visit SusanCarlisle.com (http://www.SusanCarlisle.com).
Born to a family that was always on the move, Tina Beckett learned to pack a suitcase almost before she knew how to tie her shoes. Fortunately she met a man who also loved to travel, and she snapped him right up. Married for over twenty years, Tina has three wonderful children and has lived in gorgeous places such as Portugal and Brazil.
Living where English reading material is difficult to find has its drawbacks, however. Tina had to come up with creative ways to satisfy her love for romance novels, so she picked up her pen and tried writing one. After her tenth book she realised she was hooked. She was officially a writer.
Tina loves to hear from readers. You can contact her through her website or ‘friend’ her on Facebook.
Wendy S. Marcus is an award-winning author of contemporary romance who lives in the beautiful Hudson Valley region of New York where she spends way too much time indoors on her computer. Writing. Really! Okay, more like...where she spends way too much time on Twitter and Facebook! To learn more about Wendy and the books she’s managed to write, in spite of her social media addiction, visit WendySMarcus.com (http://www.WendySMarcus.com).
Hot Single Docs: Meeting His Match
NYC Angels: The Wallflower’s Secret
Susan Carlisle
NYC Angels: Flirting with Danger
Tina Beckett
NYC Angels: Tempting Nurse Scarlet
Wendy S. Marcus
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
ISBN: 978-1-474-08344-7
Hot Single Docs: Meeting His Match
NYC Angels: The Wallflower’s Secret © 2013 Harlequin Books S.A NYC Angels: Flirting with Danger © 2013 Harlequin Books S.A NYC Angels: Tempting Nurse Scarlet © 2013 Harlequin Books S.A
Published in Great Britain 2018
by Mills & Boon, an imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF
All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. This edition is published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, locations and incidents are purely fictional and bear no relationship to any real life individuals, living or dead, or to any actual places, business establishments, locations, events or incidents. Any resemblance is entirely coincidental.
By payment of the required fees, you are granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right and licence to download and install this e-book on your personal computer, tablet computer, smart phone or other electronic reading device only (each a “Licensed Device”) and to access, display and read the text of this e-book on-screen on your Licensed Device. Except to the extent any of these acts shall be permitted pursuant to any mandatory provision of applicable law but no further, no part of this e-book or its text or images may be reproduced, transmitted, distributed, translated, converted or adapted for use on another file format, communicated to the public, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of publisher.
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www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Table of Contents
Cover (#u76c71913-fd2c-52a9-be99-183a7f5e608c)
About the Authors (#u88640859-d4d9-5d0d-8c0f-45eadc3d1b77)
Title Page (#u9819d683-20c5-5bcc-af31-f9d3b9147902)
Copyright (#u558f5176-9765-55fc-913b-1985c29b9cf6)
NYC Angels: The Wallflower’s Secret (#ub9d36bde-2a6e-56ef-b216-dc7b1b58aae4)
Back Cover Text (#ue3744ec6-8e3d-59e5-add9-3cb6b16d4ee8)
Dedication (#u6db13616-337e-5a27-82f6-eb2e10117f87)
CHAPTER ONE (#u52bc1e6d-e027-5fd2-b8bf-d50062f87f43)
CHAPTER TWO (#uff794efe-c57b-5026-afc5-6a6c6a95a2bb)
CHAPTER THREE (#u149f440d-cdbf-5154-8862-4ebd174c005b)
CHAPTER FOUR (#u3f2df067-3011-5c62-90a1-ce7fbe8d1ada)
CHAPTER FIVE (#u28007651-81c4-58bd-9443-afe16624e641)
CHAPTER SIX (#ufc74b214-e3d9-53fc-b514-d6c6197b5316)
CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)
NYC Angels: Flirting with Danger (#litres_trial_promo)
Back Cover Text (#litres_trial_promo)
Dedication (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ONE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWO (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER THREE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FOUR (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ELEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWELVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER THIRTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FOURTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FIFTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIXTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINETEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)
EPILOGUE (#litres_trial_promo)
NYC Angels: Tempting Nurse Scarlet (#litres_trial_promo)
Back Cover Text (#litres_trial_promo)
Dedication (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ONE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWO (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER THREE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FOUR (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)
About the Publisher (#litres_trial_promo)
NYC Angels: The Wallflower’s Secret (#u460ad609-b476-5fb6-8cb9-6ba089870f95)
Susan Carlisle
Some secrets are best shared…
Since making the ultimate emotional sacrifice for her sister, counsellor Lucy Edwards has kept her feelings buried and her heart on lockdown. Enter neurosurgeon Ryan O’Doherty, complete with piercing blue eyes and roguish charm. Working with him on an emotive case brings all of Lucy’s painful memories to the surface…and even closer to Ryan. Lucy’s finally tempted to let someone in—but will their fragile relationship survive her most difficult revelation?
This one is for you, Drew. I love you.
CHAPTER ONE (#u460ad609-b476-5fb6-8cb9-6ba089870f95)
PEDIATRIC NEUROSURGEON DR. Ryan O’Doherty’s attention remained on the child lying in the ICU bed of Angel Mendez Children’s Hospital in New York City as he spoke to the father. “I removed as much of the tumor as possible. I didn’t get it all because I couldn’t risk additional impairment.”
This father wasn’t the first person to hear those words and he wouldn’t be the last. Ryan made a point not to gloss over the truth when speaking to parents. Despite the fact that Ryan knew he possessed more than competent skills, he’d done all he could for the child. He couldn’t fix them all. Parents had to accept that.
“I understand. His mother and I will take him home and love him for as long as we can,” the father said in a voice filled with tears.
The father had courage. He’d have to cling to it down the road.
The sharp, shrill sound of Ryan’s phone filled the air. He tapped the screen, stopping the offending noise, and looked at the message. Human Resources. He’d forgotten all about being expected down there. What could possibly be so important in the paper-pusher department that he was needed so urgently?
He glanced at the father again. “The neurologist will re-evaluate your son’s case. I’ll be here if needed,” he said curtly. “Now, if you will excuse me...”
“Thanks for all you’ve done.”
Ryan nodded. It was his job.
Ten minutes later, Ryan walked through the network of gray hallways on his way to the human resources department. Hospital leadership was notorious for putting HR departments in the basement of the oldest section of the hospital and in the furthest corner, if they could accomplish it. Angel’s was no different. Ryan hadn’t seen this particular region of the building since he’d become an official employee five years earlier.
He wasn’t sure why he’d been summoned, but he’d received an email the day before, requesting his presence. When he’d called to say he was too busy to make the meeting, Matherson, the HR director, had stated it was mandatory that he attend. Ryan was sure the trip down would be a complete waste of his time. Whatever he was needed for, surely could be handled by email.
Despite technically being an employee, he still wasn’t used to being called into someone’s office. If there was something to be said he was typically the one doing the calling. Expected for a surgery consultation in just a few minutes, he needed to get this over with. He made the final turn in the hallway and pushed the faux woodgrain door open, entering the functional waiting area that would have been drab if not for the colorful framed pictures of children hanging on the wall.
Ryan headed straight to the middle-aged woman sitting behind the L-shaped reception desk. “Dr. O’Doherty here to see Mr. Matherson,” he said with a smile he didn’t feel. He’d learned long ago that it paid to mask your emotions.
“He’s expecting you,” the woman at the desk chirped, as if she’d said it hundreds of times.
Not bothering to sit, he stood over the receptionist as she picked up the phone and spoke into it, and looked around the room.
A young woman, maybe in her late twenties, sat facing the entrance in one of the three utilitarian chairs set against the office wall. She glanced up at him. Her large blue eyes reminded him of a summer afternoon, but held a sadness that contradicted their lovely color. With a single blink, the melancholy was replaced by an unwavering stare before she looked away.
“Dr. O’Doherty is here, Mr. Matherson.” The receptionist listened a moment then glanced at the woman sitting in the chair.
Ryan followed the receptionist’s look. The woman sat with her ankles crossed and her hands laced primly in her lap. There was little outstanding about her apart from those large eyes and a rope of hair that fell over her shoulder. She wore a business suit of light gray with a flimsy peach blouse beneath. A little too school-marmy for his tastes.
He could tell her clothes were of a fine quality. He snorted quietly. Must have been all those long-suffering shopping trips he’d made with his sisters that had given him that knowledge. He quirked a corner of his mouth. Should he be proud of that?
“Ms. Edwards, Mr. Matherson would like to see you and Dr. O’Doherty now.”
Who was this Ms. Edwards and why would she have anything to do with him being here? Ryan’s focus sharpened when she stood. The woman was tall, with a willowy frame that spoke of someone who took care of herself. Her gaze met his. The sadness he’d seen early in her eyes had been replaced by a resolute look. She held his gaze a moment before her attention turned to the HR man.
Mr. Matherson, a round bodied man with a balding head, had come round a corner. “Dr. O’Doherty and Ms. Edwards, please come back to my office.”
Ryan stepped back and allowed her to go ahead of him. Her head reached his shoulder. Her wheat-colored hair was controlled by a braid. What was it called? He’d heard his sisters talk about them enough. Something foreign. A French braid, that was it. Even with the braid her hair went midway down her back. Did it touch her hips when free?
Ms. Edwards’s eyes narrowed. Had she guessed his thoughts?
“Please come in and have a seat,” Mr. Matherson instructed as he stepped around the desk facing the door and remained standing. Ms. Edwards took one of the burgundy vinyl chairs and Ryan sat in the other before Mr. Matherson settled in his seat.
“Dr. O’Doherty, this is Lucy Edwards, and she’s just recently joined the Angel family.”
Ryan offered his hand and a half-smile. “Ryan O’Doherty.”
For a flicker of a second she hesitated before her small fingers slipped into his. Her grasp was firm, her hand soft and the touch brief. He liked the feel of her hand.
He gave Matherson an expectant look. They needed to get a move on with this meeting. His colleague was waiting on that consult. “So what brings us here?”
Matherson regarded Ryan as if he wasn’t comfortable with others taking over his meetings. Clearing his throat, the HR man said, “Ms. Edwards is a family counselor. She comes with the highest credentials and praise from her last position. As I understand, she was the person the families regularly requested.”
The woman beside him shifted uncomfortably. Pink touched her cheeks. She obviously didn’t enjoy being the center of attention. That came as a surprise. In his experience, woman generally enjoyed being the main focus. What made this one different?
Matherson continued as if giving a great oratory to be remembered. “Angel’s is setting up a new program called Coordinated Patient Care, where we’re pairing a counselor with a doctor. Ms. Edwards is your partner. You’ll be working with her on all your cases.”
What was this? Another hospital bureaucratic feel-good project? Ryan leaned forward, piercing the rotund little man with a look. “Didn’t we try something like this a couple of years ago and decide it didn’t work?”
Matherson had the good grace to look contrite. “Similar, but this is a little different. You two are the beta test. If it works then we’ll require other departments to follow suit.”
“Is all this necessary? I’m sure Ms....uh—”
“Edwards,” the woman supplied.
He sensed more than saw her stiffen. “I’m sure Ms. Edwards and I could both use our time more wisely.”
“Please don’t speak for me.” The woman who had been sitting stiffly beside him said, shifting direction. “Doctor, I can assure you that the closer the doctor-counselor relationship is, the better it is for the patient.”
Her words were said in a soft Southern drawl laced with an edge of steel. So the woman had some backbone. Interesting.
He cocked a brow and smiled. “So-o-o.” He dragged out the word to match her drawl. “You believe that working closely with the doctor is important.”
She rewarded him with a blush that added a brighter touch of pink to the ridge of her cheeks.
Matherson cleared his throat, but Ryan chose to ignore the man. He gifted her with a smile. The identical one he used when making an effort not to ruffle the nurses while at the same time trying to get his way.
“I didn’t mean to imply that your job doesn’t have merit, it’s just that I don’t think we need to personally discuss each patient. In fact, I don’t discuss the same type of issues with my patients that you would be concerned with. You can make notes on their charts about any matters you think I should know about and I can read from there.” Ryan stood. To his surprise, Ms. Edwards rose to face him.
“I can assure you, Doctor, our relationship will be strictly professional,” she said through clenched teeth. She took a breath and continued, “Patients, as well as their families, need reassurance and comfort that you can’t provide.”
She couldn’t have been more correct.
“That’s my job and I do it well.” She squared her shoulders, punctuating the statement.
“I’m sure that is true but I’m not going to waste my time in meetings when there is a perfectly good computer system we can use for correspondence. Now, if you’ll both excuse me...”
“Dr. O’Doughty,” Matherson said with a pointed look at Ryan, “I don’t know if you fully understand what’s being asked here. This is a trial program. The board’s supporting it unanimously. Your co-operation would be noticed and to your advantage.”
Ryan compressed his mouth. Matherson was making a veiled reference to the fact that he hadn’t been offered the head of neurosurgery position and that his co-operation would look good on his CV. By rights the department head job should have been his. Instead, they’d hired Alex Rodriguez.
Drawing his lips into a thin line, Ryan looked directly at Matherson for a long moment. The hospital pencil-pusher did have the good grace to lower his eyes. If going along with this ridiculous time-consuming coordinated patient care idea would make him look good on paper to the powers that be, then he’d make some form of an effort. He’d at least give it lip service, but based on his experience it would be a waste of time. Shrugging a shoulder, he said, “Okay.” He looked at Ms. Edwards. “I guess we’re a team, then.”
Ms. Edwards angled her head, mistrust written all over her face. Was she questioning his motives? Would she let him get away with doing as little as possible? Maybe there was more to this unassuming woman than he’d originally supposed. If nothing else, it would be a challenge to see if he could get her to smile. Find out if he could make that sadness in her eyes disappear.
“So it’s settled.” Matherson sounded far more cheerful than Ryan felt. “Then I’ll let you two get started.”
* * *
Lucy glanced at the self-absorbed doctor walking half a pace ahead of her up the hall. It had been hard enough to leave her entire life behind to start a new job in an unfamiliar city but being forced to work with a person who resented her being foisted on him made it almost impossible. Left no choice, she had to make this partnership work somehow.
Matherson, with the syrupy smile still on his face, had inquired if the good doctor was going back up to the neuro floor. When he said he was, Matherson had the nerve to ask him to show her the way. She’d been horribly embarrassed that Matherson had relegated this surgeon to a tour guide but didn’t know a graceful way to say she’d find her own way.
As they left the HR department, Dr. O’Doherty held the door for her to go ahead of him. Someone had at least instilled manners in the self-absorbed man. She’d seen little else to impress her. That wasn’t exactly true. She hadn’t failed to notice his wide shoulders, piercing blue eyes and height. Even now his long legs were eating up the well-worn tile floor beneath them. Not often did she find a man that she couldn’t meet almost eye to eye.
Gripping her purse, Lucy found herself tagging along behind him. With each step she became more irritated with his attitude. He walked as if he couldn’t leave the HR or her quickly enough. Regardless, she appreciated him leading the way as they made one turn then another, past another bank of elevators. She had no idea where she was in the vast hospital.
That morning when she’d stood across the street in Central Park, facing the front entrance of Angel’s, and had looked up, she hadn’t begun to count the number of floors. The building spread across an entire block. To say she’d been intimidated would have been an understatement. Still, there had been something about the mixture of old and new architecture that had appealed to her. If nothing else, the bright yellow and red awning leading to the front door had made her think the place had warmth.
Being employed by a large hospital wasn’t new to her. Most children’s hospitals were attached to a larger teaching hospital that was affiliated with a big university. But compared to Angel’s, those she’d worked in were dwarfs in size. She liked the nickname Angel’s. Glancing at the man beside her, she decided he didn’t act very angelic or hospitable.
Dr. O’Doherty finally stopped in front of a set of elevators and pushed the ‘up’ button.
Her job required her to read people. Dr. O’Doherty’s rigid stance and unyielding demeanor said he wasn’t pleased with having to answer to the HR department and now to her in a lesser way. She wasn’t surprised. Typical surgeon. Highly typical neurosurgeon. Confident, in control and with minds closed to anyone’s ideas but their own. Still, she had a job to do, and that meant co-operating with this guy. She had no choice but to make it work.
Clearing her throat, she said, “I understand this arrangement isn’t really your idea of a good plan.”
He moved to face her. “No, it isn’t.”
His displeasure didn’t encourage her. If this was the way he acted over a simple request, she couldn’t imagine his reaction to a serious issue. She was well acquainted with life-altering experiences. She wasn’t going to waste her energy getting upset over anything as mundane as being partnered with the egotistical doctor.
“I’d like to make my end of it as painless as possible for both of us.”
The elevator arrived, putting their conversation on hold. The doors opened and they stepped into an already crowded car. Dr. O’Doherty’s solid frame brushed hers as they turned to face the front of the elevator. A prickle of awareness spread through her body.
On the ride upward, they stood close enough that the heat of his body warmed her down one side. It was the first time in months that the Arctic cold buried deep within her had melted even for a second. The numbness returned the moment the elevator doors opened and he moved away. She stepped out behind him, then paused.
He stopped and looked at her. “Something wrong?”
“No, I’m just always amazed at how completely different patients’ areas are from the business parts of the hospital. These bright yellow walls are like coming into sunshine after being in gloom.”
“I’ve never noticed.”
She wasn’t surprised.
“Can you get to your office from here?”
She glanced around, recognizing a framed picture of a child’s artwork on the wall. “I know where I am now.” He turned to leave and she asked, “So how’re we going to handle this coordinated care plan, Dr. O’Doherty?”
Stopping, he turned back to her. “I’m going about it like I always have. Check the charts, Ms. Edwards.”
“Mr. Matherson made it clear that wouldn’t do. You might not like the idea but I expect you to do your part. Your patients are now mine also. I’m determined to give them the best care possible.”
Dr. O’Doherty stepped a pace closer, leaned forward and pierced her with a penetrating blue stare. “And you don’t think that’s what I do?”
“I’m sure you’re a more than capable surgeon, but there’s always room for improvement where patient care outside the OR is concerned.”
“Ms. Edwards, are you questioning my ability to be professional?”
She met his look squarely. “No, but I’ll not let you dismiss me or my abilities either. I was approached by this hospital to do a job so someone must have thought I had something to offer the hospital and the neuro department in particular. I expect you to at least recognize that.”
His attention remained on her long enough that her knees started to shake. Had she stepped over the line? With a huff, he said, “I do rounds at five. Promptly.” With a curt turn he went down the hall as if he’d spent all the time he deemed necessary on her.
Lucy passed a number of patient rooms, rounded the large corner nurses’ station and dodged a child in a wagon with a parent pulling it. Her heart tugged. Every small child she saw made her think of Emily. With relief, she finally reached the hall her office was on. Maybe going back to work in a children’s hospital hadn’t been one of her best ideas. But it had been the only job available when she’d needed to leave.
As bright, open and modern as the patients’ floor was, in contrast her office was little more than a cubby hole. She shared the area with two other family counselors assigned to the neuro floor. Three desks were lined up side by side against a wall and if all three were working at the same time, they wouldn’t be able to get to their desks without one of them stepping out into the hall. That didn’t concern her. It was a fairly typical arrangement for support staff. She was happy to have her position and she’d work in whatever space provided.
Lucy checked her watch. There were a few hours before she had to meet Dr. O’Doherty for rounds. That gave her time to review his patient load and familiarize herself with each child’s diagnosis. She’d make sure the doctor didn’t have anything to complain about in regard to her work. It was her goal to make this partnership as stress-free as possible despite his opposition of the plan.
When she’d learned about this job she hadn’t thought twice about taking it and had every intention of succeeding in it. She needed this position if she was going to survive and get her life back on track.
One of Lucy’s officemates, a woman with pepper-colored hair and a generous smile, was coming in the door as Lucy was heading out. “Hey, how’s it going?” Nancy asked.
“Fine.”
“I heard you were teamed up with Dr. O’Doherty.”
Lucy gave her a questioning look.
“Learned it from the hospital grapevine. Even from the basement news travels fast.”
“I see.” Lucy picked up her notepad.
“Ryan’s such a cutie. We all love working with him. Kind of keeps to himself but he’s a favorite among the nurses. More than one of them has a crush on him.”
Lucy didn’t know how to respond to that statement so she remained silent. She didn’t see that ever becoming an issue for her.
“You know the kind of patients we see on this floor often break our hearts, but with Ryan around it sure makes it easier. That goes for the patients and us. He’s a brilliant doctor. Not hard to look at either.”
Lucy had to agree with the latter. Even so, he’d not made a great first impression as far as she was concerned. She had a new life to build and being a groupie of a doctor who already had a posse of female admirers didn’t fall into her “need to do” list.
“Well, I’d better review some charts before rounds.” Lucy gave her co-worker a wary smile and left the office.
She’d never been one for hospital gossip and actively stayed away from it when she could, but her officemate’s chatter had caught her interest. The more she knew about Dr. O’Doherty the better off she’d be.
She slipped into a vacant chair behind the nurses’ station desk. Facing the state-of-the-art computer screen, she typed in her password and queried Dr. O’Doherty’s in-house patients. A list containing five names came up. One by one she reviewed the patients’ charts and made notes. She’d just finished scanning the last chart when a deep-throated laugh followed by the high-pitched giggle of a child came from down the hall.
“Dr. O’Doherty is at it again,” the nurse standing beside her said with a smile.
Seconds later, he slow-galloped into view with a young girl on his back. His white lab coat had been discarded. The light blue knit shirt he wore stretched tautly across his broad chest. The man either had good genes or he worked out regularly. The child had a happy smile on her face and her arms were wrapped tightly around his neck. Her head was bound in white gauze.
He stopped at the nurses’ station where Lucy and the nurse stood watching. “Ms. Edwards, I’d like you to meet Princess Michelle.”
The girl giggled.
“She buttoned her shirt all by herself today and got to make a wish.” He glanced back at the girl. “Princess Michelle,” he said.
The girl giggled again.
“Can you tell Ms. Edwards what your wish was?” Ryan asked.
“I want a horsy ride,” the girl said with a shy grin.
“Well, that sounds like a fine wish.” Lucy smiled up at the child. “So how far are you going on this ride? Over the mountain? Across the river?”
The girl snickered and pointed. “End of hall.”
“I see.”
“This horse can’t go too far away from the barn.” He winked at the young nurse and she blinked and grinned.
The sting of pain Lucy experienced when she’d not been included in the flirtatious action surprised her. It was a visual reminder he didn’t consider her part of his circle. She was once again an outsider.
An easy lilt in his Brooklyn accent became more prominent as he continued to speak. “I’d better finish this princess’s ride and get her home. It’s almost supper time.” He turned his head toward the girl, “What do you say to get the horse to go?”
“Giddy up,” Michelle said with another round of giggles and off they went.
A smile covered her lips.
“Why, Ms. Edwards, is that a smile I see?” Dr. O’Doherty asked with a brow raised. “I wondered if it was possible.”
To her amazement, she was smiling. Something that had happened rarely in the last few months. How had that exasperating man managed to make her smile? Maybe there was more to him than she had originally given him credit for. His bedside manner might not extend to her but apparently he cared about his patients.
The horse and rider set off down the passage then returned, and she waved. Her chest constricted. It wouldn’t be long until Emily would be the same age as Michelle. Sadly, Lucy would never hear the sounds of Emily’s childhood delight.
Half an hour later, Lucy asked one of the nurses which end of the hall Dr. O’Doherty usually started his rounds on. The nurse pointed to the right and Lucy headed in that direction. A group of six led by Dr. O’Doherty exited a patient’s room as she approached. The crowd circled around him. Lucy stopped just outside the ring.
He looked over the head of a female intern wearing a lab coat, with her head elevated in a worshipful manner, to glower at Lucy. “Everyone, this is Ms. Edwards.”
The assemblage turned to inspect her. She shifted uneasily under the scrutiny.
“She’s our newest family counselor. Please introduce yourself later. We have patients to see.” His mouth tightened briefly but his words didn’t falter. “Please see that she stays in the loop on all cases.” His intense blue gaze pinned her again. “I’ll have to get you up to speed later on the patient you missed.”
She looked away.
Dr. O’Doherty made a few more comments as they moved down the hallway to the next patient, then the next, stopping in front of another door. He paused. His attention focused on her again. “This is Brian Banasiak. I removed a blood clot three days ago. This is one case I believe that it might be beneficial to have you involved in.”
Might? Lucy wasn’t sure she needed his seal of approval but she didn’t say so. Neither was she certain how she felt about the left-handed compliment. In her last position she’d been considered the “go to” person when a family was having a difficult time coping with their child’s illness or injury. Her role was seen as important in overall patient care.
Apparently Dr. O’Doherty viewed her work as a sideline to his godly power. She’d do her job effectively then maybe she could change the narrow-minded man’s opinion.
“I understand his head trauma occurred during an auto accident,” she said quietly. “I’m going to discuss the benefits of therapy at home with the parents. Also assistance with home schooling. These parents have a long road ahead of them. The adjustment of having gone from a perfectly normal child to one who needs help eating and dressing will be difficult at best to accept.”
Dr. O’Doherty’s look of surprise along with similar ones from the others made her want to pump her fist in elation. She’d managed to wow the man. Why it should matter she didn’t know, but it felt good.
He pursed his lips and nodded as if he might be impressed. “Thank you, Ms. Edwards. You’ve obviously done your homework.”
“The family clearly cares about their child and I gather are willing to do what it takes for Brian to recover. I’ll be speaking with them first thing in the morning to determine any additional needs.”
Dr. O’Doherty gave her a quick nod and with a rap of his knuckles on the door entered the room. Along with the rest of their group, Lucy moved to stand next to the boy’s bed.
The parents of the boy came to stand across the bed from the group. Dr. O’Doherty paid them no attention.
“Brian, how’re you feeling today?” Dr. O’Doherty asked.
The eight-year-old boy offered a weak smile. His entire head was swathed in white gauze. His eyes had dark circles under them and there was puffiness about his face that lingered from having surgery.
“Okay, I guess,” the boy said with little enthusiasm.
“Well, from all I hear from your nurse, you’re my star patient,” Dr. O’Doherty stated. “So give me a high five.”
That managed to get a slight smile out of the boy. He raised his small hand and met the doctor’s larger one with a smack.
Dr. O’Doherty pulled his hand back. “Ow! See, you’re already getting stronger.”
Brian’s smile broadened.
The doctor did have a way with kids.
“I’m going to take a look at your head. Maybe we can give you a smaller bandage.”
“It’s itchy.” The boy wrinkled his nose.
“Yes. That means you’re getting better. I’ll see if we can’t help with that problem.”
As he removed the gauze, Lucy watched the parents’ faces to gage their reactions. Death wasn’t the only time people experienced grief. A major life trauma could bring on the emotion. Lucy knew that all too well. She’d run to get away from hers.
“Will he be able to ride a bike?” the boy’s mother asked. “Do we have to worry about him falling?”
Dr. O’Doherty didn’t look at the mother as he said, “Ms. Walters, my clinical nurse, can answer those questions for you.” He continued to unwrap the bandage.
The mother looked like she’d been struck. She stepped back from the bed.
He continued to examine the surgical site then spoke to the floor nurse standing next to him. “I believe we can place a four-by-four bandage over this.” He looked at the boy. “You’ll look less like a pirate but it won’t be so itchy.”
That statement brought a real smile to the boy’s face.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Dr. O’Doherty said, before turning to leave. He shook the big toe of the boy’s foot as he moved toward the door
The mother followed him out into the hall. “Dr. O’Doherty, we were wondering what to expect next,” the mother said, tears filling her eyes.
“My nurse will answer all your questions.”
Lucy compressed her lips. Where had all the charm that had oozed from him seconds before gone?
“Will he ever be like he was?” The mother’s eyes pleaded to know.
“I don’t make those kinds of promises,” Dr. O’Doherty clipped.
The mother looked stricken again.
This man had a sterling bedside manner where his patients were concerned but he sure lacked finesse with the parents. Why was he suddenly so cold?
Lucy stepped forward, not looking at Dr. O’Doherty for permission. She placed an arm around the woman’s shoulders. “Mrs. Banasiak, I’m Lucy Edwards, the family counselor. I think I can help answer some of your questions.”
The mother sagged in relief. She shot a look at Dr. O’Doherty and then said to Lucy, “Thank you, so much.”
Dr. O’Doherty progressed on down the hall with his group in tow without a backward glance. Lucy hung back to speak to the parents further. The watery eyes and fragile smile of the mother touched Lucy’s heart. These were the type of people who needed her. It felt good to be using her skills again.
* * *
Ryan paused in front of the last patient-to-be-seen door. Turning, he waited for the group to join him. Ms. Edwards was missing. Should he really be surprised? He discussed the patient, while his frustration grew. She could speak to the parents on her own time.
“We’re glad you could join us,” he said when she finally walked up.
Her eyes didn’t meet his. The woman didn’t like having the spotlight on her. By the way she dressed and spoke so softly, he guessed she spent most of her time in the shadows. “I needed to reassure the parents,” she said quietly.
Pushing the door of the patient room open, he stepped in. “Hi, Lauren,” he said to the ten-year-old sitting up in bed, watching TV. “I believe you’ll be ready to go home tomorrow. How does that sound?”
The grandmother, who was the girl’s caretaker, stepped to the bed. “That’s wonderful. What do we need to do about getting her back in school when the time comes?”
A soft but strong voice beside him said, “I’ll help with that.”
“This is Lucy Edwards,” he said to the grandmother. “She’s my family counselor.”
The only indication that Ms. Edwards didn’t appreciate the word “my” was the slight tightening around her lips. That had been entirely the wrong thing to say. He didn’t know how to repair the faux pas gracefully in front of a patient’s family so he continued speaking to the grandmother. He’d apologize to Ms. Edwards later.
This quiet, gentle-voiced woman wasn’t his anything. She wasn’t even his type. He was used to dating freer-spirited women, who thought less and laughed more. Those who were loud and boisterous and were not interested in emotional attachments. Ms. Edwards had already demonstrated she was the touchy-feely type.
He left the room while the grandmother rattled off a list of questions for Ms. Edwards.
After answering a page, he returned to the nurses’ station in search of Ms. Edwards. Not seeing her, he was forced to ask where her office was located. He’d never paid much attention to the family counselors. He knew they had a job to do and as far as he was concerned they did it. Rarely did he interact with one outside other than when they asked him a question or left a note on a chart.
He knocked lightly on the nondescript door with a small plate that showed he was in the correct place. The door was opened by a woman he recognized. “Hi, Ryan. What’s up?”
“Hello, Nancy. I was trying to find Ms. Edwards.”
“Yes-s-s.” The word being drawn out came from inside. He’d found the right place. Ms. Edwards put far too many syllables in a word. He glanced around the woman in front of him. Ms. Edwards looked at him with wide, questioning eyes.
“I’ll get out of your way. It’s time to head home anyway,” the older woman said. “Nice to see you, Ryan.”
“You too.” He smiled as she left and stepped into the doorway, holding the door open. “Do you mind if I come in a minute?”
The new counselor looked unsure but nodded her agreement.
He’d received warmer welcomes but guessed he couldn’t blame her, considering their less than congenial start. She sat at the desk furthest away from the door. Her eyes resembled those of a startled animal as he pushed the door closed behind him. The look eased when he sat down in the chair furthest from her. Was she afraid of him? He conjured up one of his friendliest smiles.
She gave him an inquiring look.
“I just wanted to say I’m sorry for the comment about you being my family counselor. I misworded the statement. It won’t happen again.”
Her bearing softened. “Dr. O’Doherty—”
“Please call me Ryan. I’m a pretty casual guy generally.” She looked unsure about the idea. “May I call you Lucy?”
She nodded slowly. “Uh, Ryan, I know you’re not a fan of this coordinated patient care arrangement but I’d really like us to work together with as little conflict as possible.”
He liked the way his name sounded when she said it. Kind of easygoing and warm. “I’ll do my part but there have to be some ground rules.”
She pursed her lips and her delicately shaped brows drew closer together. “And those would be?”
“I expect the people that work for me to be punctual and to stay with me as I make rounds. I don’t wait.”
“Dr. O’Doherty, I don’t work for you. I work for the hospital, and ultimately for the patients. If I understood Mr. Matherson correctly, we do coordinated patient care. Which means we work together.”
“My OR schedule, which the hospital dictates, means I don’t have time to stand around waiting for you.”
“And my job, which the hospital and the human heart dictate, is to care for the patient and the family during a difficult time. My job is to help the whole family. We...” She waved a hand around, broadly including him. “This hospital should care for the whole person. That’s my job and I would appreciate you letting me do it.”
He flinched. “My job is to be a surgeon, I fix the problem. I don’t need to hand-hold patients or their families to do my job well.”
“No, you don’t, but it would be nice if you would at least try to on some level.”
His body stiffened and he gave her a questioning look. “The parents of my patients need to hear the truth.”
“I don’t disagree with that. I just question the delivery.”
“I thought that was why you were here?”
“It is, but parents like Brian’s like to hear reassurances from the doctor.”
She met his direct gaze for the first time for longer than a second. He stood. “Point taken.”
“What time’s your first case in the morning?”
“Seven. Why?”
“I like to be here when the child leaves the parents to go into surgery. It’s when they need the most support. Many want to talk. They’re scared. I’ll walk them down to the waiting room.”
He’d never given any thought to how difficult it was for parents to watch their child go into surgery. Didn’t want to think about it. He opened the door.
“It’s hard to let go,” she said with wistfulness in her voice.
Did she know that from personal experience? Her eyes glazed over. Where had her thoughts gone? Thankfully she recovered, the hopeless expression disappearing, to be replaced by that of a trained professional again. That he was more than capable of dealing with.
“I guess it is.” He closed the door between them. What was the woman with the sad, serious eyes hiding?
CHAPTER TWO (#u460ad609-b476-5fb6-8cb9-6ba089870f95)
THAT EVENING LUCY arrived home later than she’d planned. To be at the hospital early for four mornings out of the week meant she had to stay late in the evenings to prepare. On top of that there was the time she spent getting to and from work. Accustomed to the freedom of driving a car, she found using the subway system restricting and oftentimes frustrating. Never good at reading maps, she had a tendency to take the wrong train far too often. This was one aspect of living in a huge city that she’d not thought through.
Her heavy-set, dark-haired landlord, who was standing outside the building, called, “Hello,” as she started climbing the stairs to her studio apartment.
“Hi, Mr. Volpentesta,” she returned with more enthusiasm than she’d had in a long time.
He presented her with a big, white, toothy smile.
Lucy made her way up to the third floor above the Italian bistro. She didn’t mind the climb. It was good exercise and she’d always enjoyed being fit. Staying in shape and eating right were important to her. She sucked in a tight breath. That had been one of the many reasons she’d had no trouble carrying Emily.
Emily. The hurt throbbed deep. She had to get beyond the pain somehow.
Unlocking the door, she pushed it open and stepped into the studio apartment. A nice window allowed light into the space. A bed faced it and there was a small sitting area. In one back corner was a kitchenette, functional but tiny, and in the other corner was the bathroom, which included a tiny closet.
She’d managed to make the place homely with the few things she’d brought with her. When she had time she’d give it the care it deserved. It wasn’t much by most people’s standards but she enjoyed the multicultural, tree-lined neighborhood. She’d been lucky to find a place within her budget.
Alexis, her sister, didn’t understand Lucy’s need to move so far away and Lucy had no intention of ever sharing the real reason she’d left. It was her deepest shame. It had almost killed her but she’d had to get away. It was better for everyone that she leave, despite how much she missed her sister, and Emily. She wanted Alexis and her family to be happy. For her to hang around, wishing she was a part of their close-knit group, hadn’t been healthy for any of them.
Dropping her purse on the table, which had obviously been confiscated from the bistro, she put the kettle on to heat water to make tea. Sweet iced tea was her drink of choice. No matter where she lived she took that small pleasure with her. Even in the cold early spring weather she couldn’t give up that small part of her growing-up years. It was one of the passions she and her sister shared. She wouldn’t go there. Spending her evening crying wasn’t part of her plan.
Taking a deep breath, she moved to her bed, pulled off her business suit and replaced it with sweatpants and sweatshirt, then she tugged on slouchy socks.
The streetlight below her windows flickered on, washing the room in a warm glow that only added to her loneliness. She clicked on a lamp on her way back to the stove and after pouring the hot water over the tea bags and sugar she reached for a can of soup from the open cabinet.
She’d gone from carrying a baby and living in her sister’s home, where love abounded, to a shabby room in an enormous impersonal city. She sank into one of the two chairs she had and put her face in her hands.
Stop it. Get a hold of yourself. You can survive this. You have to make your own life.
* * *
The next afternoon, she entered Daniel Hancock’s room to find Ryan leaning back in a chair as if he made social visits to the teenage boy’s room regularly. Ryan had removed a tumor from the sixteen-year-old’s brain stem the week before.
“Ah, Ms. Edwards, just the person we were looking for,” Ryan said, as if he was genuinely glad to see her, which created suspicion in her mind.
He’d made it clear the day before that he wasn’t interested in her being involved in his cases unless he thought she was needed. Now he acted as if they were old friends and he was planning to ask her a favor. She was unsure how to read his attitude change. Up until this moment she would have characterized their relationship as two dogs circling each other, trying to decide how not to get in each other’s way.
She’d play along. Approaching the end of the bed, she smiled at Daniel. “What can I do for you two gentlemen?”
“I was just telling Daniel that he can’t return to school right away. That he’ll need to be home-schooled for a while until his site heals. Can you help to arrange that?”
“I’ll see about it right away.”
“Did you know that Daniel’s the star of his high-school baseball team?”
“I had heard that.” In fact, his future had begun to disappear when he hadn’t been able to control his hand movements. Now, because of Ryan’s skill, Daniel had a chance at his dream again. She could forgive some of Ryan’s brashness for that alone. He might lack empathy at times but he had major surgical skills.
Ryan stood and, grinning, said to Daniel, “I hope to see you playing for the Yankees one day soon. I’ll leave orders for the teacher to be cute and like baseball—how does that sound?”
Daniel gave him a weak smile but seemed pleased.
Ryan offered his hand to the teen. Lucy appreciated the way Ryan showed his respect for the young man by treating him as an equal. It was a way of giving Daniel a sense of control in a place where he felt he had none. Why hadn’t Ryan given the same consideration to the mother the evening before?
She followed Ryan out of the room. “You know, Lucy, having you readily available may be a good thing after all.”
“It isn’t my job to be at your beck and call.”
“Maybe not, but so far it’s working out well.” He grinned and walked off.
And she’d thought moving to New York was going to make her life easier. How long was this coordinated patient care agreement supposed to last?
Hours later all she wanted to do was go home and fall asleep. Instead, she was hunting down Ryan for a signature on a couple of forms. She knew the vicinity of his office but she’d never been there. Punching the automatic door-opener on the wall, she waited then passed through a set of doors that led into a short hallway. Here she was no longer in the sunny land of the patients’ hall. Instead, it turned into the practical world of business. She searched the uniformed name plates until she found Ryan’s beside the second door on the right. It read: “Dr. Ryan O’Doherty, Associate of Neurosurgery”.
She’d heard talk about Ryan not getting the department head job. Most of the nurses were surprised. They’d all thought he would be a shoo-in. Apparently popularity wasn’t the deciding factor. If it had been and the staff had voted, it would have been unanimous. Even in the OR, where the pressure was greater and personalities sometimes clashed, the staff all seemed to appreciate Ryan’s skill and winning ways. She just wished some of those winning ways would spill over when she had to deal with him.
His office door stood partially open. She knocked and waited. No answer. The forms had to be signed tonight or first thing in the morning. Maybe she should page him? No, she didn’t want to do that. She’d just leave the forms on his desk and text him, asking him to sign them before he went into the OR. She rolled her eyes. She was sure he’d be real glad to hear from her.
Apprehensive about entering Ryan’s private space without permission but thinking she had no choice, she stepped into his office. His ever-present lab coat lay across the back of his desk chair. He must have gone for the day if he didn’t have it on. On the other hand, his office door was open.
She placed the papers on his desk and picked up a pen lying there to write him a note. Maybe he would see them before she had a chance to text him.
Ryan stepped out of an adjacent doorway into the room.
She squealed, jumped. Her hand went over her heart before it settled with a thump. “Oh.” Heaven help her, he wasn’t wearing a shirt. She gulped. Coming into his office hadn’t been a good idea.
Ryan’s slacks hung low on his hips and his belt was undone. She couldn’t take her eyes off his chest. An expanse of muscle covered in a light dusting of hair.
“What’re you doing here?” he said brusquely. His tone stated clearly he wasn’t pleased to see her. He stepped behind his desk and pulled out a drawer. Removing a shirt, he slipped it on and began to button it.
She followed his movements as he worked his way up the shirt. His long, tapered fingers moved swiftly. Ryan was a large man to be doing such delicate work as brain surgery. She’d heard he had a gentle touch with the scalpel.
What would it be like to be caressed by him? What kind of question was that? She shook her head. The last thing she needed to do was get moony-eyed over Ryan O’Doherty.
“Lucy, did you need something or did you just stop by to gape? Or maybe snoop?” His tone had turned teasing but still held an edge of distrust.
She straightened and moved away from the desk, trying to gather her poise as she went. “I do not snoop!”
His mouth quirked at one corner. “Then gape? Because you’ve yet to tell me why you’re here.”
“I need you to sign these forms so I can get Daniel’s home schooling set up before he’s discharged. These...” she pointed to the papers to prove she was telling the truth “...have to be in by tomorrow to make the deadline. That’s if you still want him to have a cute teacher. They’ll be all gone by tomorrow afternoon I was told,” she said with the most insincere saccharine smile she could muster.
“Why, Ms. Edwards, you surprise me. I had no idea you had a sense of humor.”
* * *
Ryan should’ve been livid at finding Lucy in his office without permission. This was his private domain and he wanted it to remain that way. The look of surprise on her face and the widening of her eyes when she’d seen his state of undress had defused his anger. She hadn’t immediately turned away. Instead, her eyes had grown darker, her gaze fixed on his chest. It hadn’t been one of her shy looks but one of bold appraisal. Pure male satisfaction had won out over his irritation. His ego officially skyrocketed.
She huffed, stepped over to the desk and picked up the papers. “If you would just sign these, I can get out of your way.”
For some reason he was a little disappointed at the idea. This was the most entertaining time he’d spent with someone in a long time. Who would have thought he’d find the quiet, ordinary woman interesting? No, ordinary was the wrong word. There was nothing ordinary about Lucy.
Ryan picked up the forms and reviewed them. Setting them down again, he took the pen she’d dropped and signed a form. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her looking around. He had learned quickly that she was observant, almost intuitive about people. What was she learning about him?
He glanced at her as he pulled the second form to him. She studied his shelves filled with books intermingled with pictures and baseball memorabilia. Her gaze moved on to the opposite wall. There hung a framed picture of a Yankees baseball game in progress, which took up most of the space. Putting down the pen, he turned to sit on the edge of his desk. Lucy’s consideration had traveled to the framed pictures on his desk.
Before he realized it, he’d said, “Those are my nieces and nephews.” He pointed toward a picture with two dark-haired women in it. “My sisters.” He rarely volunteered personal information to anyone. No wonder Lucy was so good at her job. Something about her made people want to tell her their secrets.
His gut clenched. He didn’t want her to know his. “Is there anything else?” His words sounded more dismissive than he’d intended. He handed the forms to her.
All business again, she said, “I’ll see that they are faxed before I go home.”
He watched her leave his office. Why all of a sudden was he looking forward to coming to work the next day?
* * *
Ryan’s running shoes made a rhythmic sound as he took the turn in the paved path on his way back to the hospital. He slowed when he saw Lucy sitting on a park bench. Her head was tipped back, her face held up to the sun. That golden rope of hair gleamed in the light. She’d removed her heavy cardigan and had her legs stretched out in front of her. He hadn’t known her long but he suspected this was the most uninhibited she’d been in a long time.
She really was an attractive woman who seemed to want to blend in, go unnoticed. It hadn’t worked where he was concerned. He’d noticed too much.
As he grew closer, he could see that her eyes were closed. He wouldn’t have disturbed her but just as he approached she shifted and sat up as if jolted awake.
“Hey,” she said, drowsiness in her voice.
“Hey.” He liked this off-guard Lucy. When she had her full faculties back in a second she’d close off fast. She acted as if she was wary of everyone and everything.
“Been running.” She stated the obvious as he was standing there drenched in perspiration and wearing a sweatshirt and shorts.
“Yeah, one of the perks of working at Angel’s is that the park is so close.”
“I think so too. I already miss the lakes, forests and the spaciousness of the suburbs of Atlanta. Somehow knowing I can come to the park helps.” She began to put on her sweater.
What had caused her to make such a drastic move? He couldn’t ask that type of question if he wasn’t prepared to share in return. “Have you had a chance to explore the park?”
She laughed. “It may not surprise you to hear that I’m afraid I might get lost. So I don’t get out of sight of the hospital.”
He smiled down at her. “Maybe I can give you a tour some time. We’ll leave breadcrumbs if necessary.”
“If I’m along, it’ll be necessary.”
“Well, I’ll leave you to your sunning.”
“I’ve got to go in too. I need to get some lunch before I meet you for clinic.”
“I don’t know if it’s necessary for you to be at clinic today.”
She stood and faced him with an unwavering look. “Why not? I thought we were past having this discussion.”
He held up a hand. “It has nothing to do with me not wanting you there. I’m only going to be seeing patients who were discharged before you arrived.”
Her face relaxed. “I see. Just the same, I’d like to be there.”
She started towards the hospital without a backward glance at him. He’d been dismissed, something he wasn’t used to having happen from anyone other than his sisters.
* * *
Lucy entered the doctors’ shared clinic building attached to the hospital. Ryan’s day of the week to see patients was Wednesday. She looked around the waiting area of the clinic. It had large glass windows that provided a view of Central Park. Painted on the walls were murals with happy-faced animals. The orange furniture and light green carpet created a happy effect. Toy tables sat in an open space to the side. It was a place where children wouldn’t be afraid to come.
She found Ryan waiting in the hall of the clinic. “I’m sorry, I’m late. No matter how much time I allow myself, I still eat it up having to backtrack everywhere I go.” Lucy said as she caught her breath.
He smiled. “I’m starting to expect it.”
“I’m getting better. I can get to work without getting off the subway and doubling back a station. I do get my exercise, though.”
Ryan gave her body frank consideration. “I can see that you do.”
Warmth washed over her. It felt wonderful to have a man look at her with interest. In the past few days they’d managed to develop a working relationship that was at least doable if not comfortable. On her part, she’d spent longer than normal getting to know Ryan’s patients and their families. On his, he seemed to at least tolerate having her around.
“You know, I’ve been meaning to tell you that I like that Southern drawl.”
The grin on his lips and the dimples it brought to his cheeks made him the sexiest man she’d ever seen.
“But you talk so slowly that I forget what you said at the beginning of the sentence by the time you get to the end of it.”
She thrust her chin out and looked at him hard. “Are you making fun of me?”
The laugh lines around his eyes grew more prominent. “I would never do that.”
Lucy couldn’t help but return his teasing smile. Something she hadn’t done in a long time. It felt good to have some humor in her life again.
A nurse came down the hall. “You first patient is in exam two, Dr. O’Doherty.”
Ryan took the patient chart from the nurse and Lucy followed him. The man could turn on the charm when he chose. She’d have to watch out or he might use it against her.
Lucy joined him during each examination. All the patients were there for sixth-week post-op visits and would be released from Ryan’s care after this clinical appointment. Neither he nor she would see them again unless the patients required additional surgery. Maybe that was why Ryan didn’t invest more effort into getting to know the families. They weren’t normally long-term patients for him.
“This is the last patient,” Ryan told her as he pulled the chart out of the holder on the door. “Amanda Marcella. Three years old. “
He tapped lightly on the door then entered. Lucy followed and he introduced her. “So, how’s Amanda doing?” he asked the far-too-young mother.
“Okay, I guess.”
Lucy cringed. If she had a child who was sick she wouldn’t be treating the child’s heath so nonchalantly.
The little girl had an external shunt located on the right side of her head. Ryan removed the bandages. He really had a tender way about him.
“This shunt isn’t positioned correctly. The site needs to be checked and rebandaged. I’ll show you how I want it done,” he announced, engrossed in what he was doing.
“I don’t like doing that sort of thing. My boyfriend has to do it,” the mother said.
Ryan looked up. “This isn’t something that you have a choice about. You have to take responsibility for your child.”
He didn’t wait for the mother to respond before he turned and left the room.
At the girl’s stricken face, Lucy stepped toward her. “Do you have any one else who can help you?”
The girl shook her head slowly, her eyes filling with tears. “My parents kicked me out when I got pregnant with Amanda. I try to do what I can but I’m no good at being a nurse.”
Ryan returned with a nurse in tow. She carried a disposable suture kit. “I’m going to put in a couple of stitches to secure the shunt. It’ll still have to be bandaged and cleaned regularly.” He looked at the mother to punctuate his point.
The mother’s eyes grew larger and she screwed up her face with displeasure. Couldn’t Ryan tell he was scaring the girl? If he did notice, why didn’t he care?
“Why don’t we wait outside while Dr. O’Doherty is working?” Lucy suggested. The mother nodded and Lucy led her out into the hall.
“I know Dr. O’Doherty wants me to see about Amanda’s head but I just can’t. It makes me so sad to look at it.”
Minutes later Ryan opened the door, letting them know that he was finished. Lucy and the mother returned to the room. Ryan looked at the mother and said, “The nurse will show you how to bandage the site. You’ll need to bring Amanda back again next week. I’ll expect to see that the wound has been cared for.”
The girl mumbled, “Okay...” and took her whimpering child from the nurse.
Ryan left and Lucy gave the girl’s shoulder a reassuring pat and joined him.
“I hate it when I perform surgery and the patient is improving but the parents won’t take care of the child,” Ryan said through clenched teeth, softly enough not to sound unprofessional. Lucy had no doubt that he wished he could say it loud enough that not only the mother could hear but everyone else as well.
“Can we go to an empty exam room and talk a sec?” Lucy asked.
He gave her a frustrated look but nodded his assent.
When they were in the room with the door closed behind them, she turned to him and said, “Ryan, you can’t be so hard on that mother. She’s little more than a child herself and terrified. She has no help at home and a sick child to care for.”
“She has a duty to her child. She has to see that her child gets the care she needs.”
“Her grief is so great she can’t stand to look at her baby, it scares her,” Lucy flung back. “Haven’t you ever been in a spot where you thought you couldn’t handle it?”
He went pale for a second but soon recovered. Still, she’d seen it. His reaction to the mother had been over the top—was his cool relationship with his patient’s parents masking something more?
“What do you suggest?” he asked in a tight voice.
“I don’t think forcing the girl to do the wound care is the answer. She needs help. Which I will see about getting her. Until then, if you would write an order for home health a couple of times a week, I think it would be best for her and the child.”
She was shocked when a slight grin formed on his lips. “I’m starting to feel manipulated but I think you’re right this time. I’ll write the order.” Taking the chart he held, he turned and left the room.
She’d eased one aspect of the girl’s issues but she’d hit a nerve in Ryan’s. Why?
* * *
The knock on her office door told her Ryan stood on the other side. Even the rap of his hand was distinctive. Her officemates had gone home long ago. She might have left sooner if she’d had more to go home to. Instead, she was busy trying to see what services were available to Amanda Marcella. Going to the door, she opened it.
“Hi, I was just wondering if you might have dinner with me tonight. Let me say thanks for helping out this afternoon and apologize for making you feel less than welcome on your first day.” He grinned.
Ryan could slay dragons and carry off a princess’ heart with that movement of his lips.
“Just doing my job. No thanks necessary. I appreciate the invitation but I think I’d better just go home.” Why in the world wasn’t she accepting an opportunity to go out with a good-looking, smart man? Because she could be one of those slayed by his grin. Because it couldn’t go anywhere. But why did it have to?
“You don’t think you can take a few minutes to keep a hard-working colleague company while he eats?” His grin widened.
She was starting to fall for his charm. “I guess I could for a few minutes. I am hungry. But do you mind if I pick the place?”
“Sure. Just so long as it’s not a beans-and-sprouts place. I want meat and cheese and more meat.”
Lucy smiled. Something she was doing more often when he was around. It felt good. “There’s meat, along with great salads.”
“Perfect. Let’s go.”
He stepped through the doorway and waited for her in the hall. For heaven’s sake, what was she doing? She had no business going to dinner with Ryan O’Doherty. He was far too likeable. And he made her far too angry sometimes. She secured her scarf around her neck and pulled on her coat. Stepping into the hall, she pulled the door closed behind her and prepared to lock it.
Ryan was no longer there. It was late enough that most of the patients were in bed for the night. One lone mother spoke softly to her child and Lucy’s heart constricted. She’d thought distance would ease her feelings about Emily but with each baby she saw there was a fresh stab of pain. Would it ever go away?
She looked around and found Ryan standing in front of the nurses’ station, talking to one of the staff. The nurse was snickering. He looked in her direction and grinned.
His smile pushed the heartache away. She needed her mental faculties just to deal with him. The man had the ability to turn that charm on and off at will. All the nurses seemed to go calf-eyed whenever he walked down the hall. More than one had requested to care for his patients in order to have his attention for a few minutes.
That laughter and fun-loving attitude covered the seriousness of his job and the caring heart that she only glimpsed when he was dealing with the children. She’d seen him displeased and she was beginning to think few saw the emotional side of him. That he’d let it slip when she’d been around was something to ponder.
Ryan smiled and started toward her. The nurse saw Lucy and returned to her duties. When she reached Ryan he said, “I just got a page. I need to stop by the nursery for a few minutes to check on a child, if you don’t mind.”
No, she couldn’t do that. It would kill her to see the babies. She would cry. “Um, why don’t I just meet you in the lobby?”
“I would’ve thought you might want to meet the family, if they are there.”
“I’ll just wait and see if you are assigned the case.”
He gave her a quizzical look. “Okay. I’ll see you in the lobby as soon as I can.”
Lucy breathed a sigh of relief as Ryan walked off. She just wasn’t ready to face the nursery.
* * *
In the taxi, Ryan grinned when Lucy had to give the address of the restaurant for a second time. The cab driver didn’t quite understand her sweet Southern drawl. He himself liked it, a lot. Her slower, softer accent was soothing. He especially liked it when she said his name.
Lucy had a way about her that relaxed him, and others as well. She wasn’t authoritarian when she spoke but people listened to her. Plus her manner implied that everything would be all right given time. He’d seen it first hand when she talked to his patients’ families. She’d given of herself. At one time, he’d done that more freely but now he had nothing left.
If he ever discovered he had something to give, he hoped someone like Lucy was around to share it with. But now wasn’t the time. He’d never confided in anyone from work and he wouldn’t be starting now, no matter how tempting it might be.
Lucy sat beside him in the back seat, staring out the window. He wasn’t sure if she was avoiding looking at him or was just engrossed in the lights of the “city that never sleeps”.
“Have you been to New York before?”
“Once, when I was a kid. With my parents. I don’t remember much about it, though.” The wistful tone in her voice made him think that it hadn’t necessarily been a happy memory.
“I bet you never thought you’d be living here.”
She glanced at him. “No, never,” she said, before turning back to the window. “And with your accent, I’d guess you’ve never lived anywhere but here.”
“Brooklyn boy, born and raised,” he said proudly.
“So that’s why you have the baseball picture in your office.”
“Yeah. I’m a big Yankees fan. Do you keep up with baseball?”
“If you live in Atlanta you have to follow the Braves. My brother-in-law gets season tickets so I’ve gone to a few games.”
“I have season tickets to the Yankees. Maybe you’d like to go to a game some time?” He shifted uncomfortably. What in the world was he doing, inviting her out to a game? That sounded too much like a date.
The taxi pulled up at the curb.
“Volpentesta’s. That’s some of the best pizza pie in the city. For someone who has been in the city no longer than you have, you sure know where to get a good meal.”
Lucy smiled as she climbed out of the taxi. When she offered her share of the taxi fare he said, “It’s on me. My idea for the pizza.”
She didn’t fight him, just waited on the brick sidewalk gone wavy with age. She tensed a second when he lightly touched the curve of her back but she eased just as quickly. As they came to the door of the restaurant, he reached around her to open it.
“Someone taught you good manners. That’s the second time you’ve opened a door for me.”
The dull pain that he carried in his chest sharpened for a second. “My father was very old school. He would say, ‘Ryan, my boy, you treat a woman like you want your sisters to be treated. It’s the O’Doherty way.’”
“Kind of got off track when you first met me, didn’t you?”
“Hey, I showed you up to the floor.”
“Yeah, but you would’ve liked to drop me down the elevator shaft.”
“Was I that bad?”
She nodded.
“Then I’ll try to make up for it over dinner, okay?”
She smiled. “I’ve really gotten over it, so don’t let it worry you.”
A man who was almost as round as he was tall approached them, his hands outstretched. He asked with a strong Italian accent, “Miss Lucy, how are you today?”
Her smiled reached her eyes. Ryan felt a hot stab of jealousy. What would it take to have her smile at him like that? He wasn’t going to analyze that thought.
“Mr. Volpentesta, I’m doing fine. We would like a table.”
“Anything for you, my dear.”
Ryan gave her a quizzical look. The wait even on weeknights for a table at Volpentesta’s was long and she’d just waltzed in without a reservation.
The restaurant was an authentic Italian bistro right down to the red checked cloths and the candle on the table. The room was dark enough to make for a pleasing ambiance but not so dim that he couldn’t appreciate Lucy’s incredibly expressive face.
She wore little make-up. On occasion he’d noticed that she’d applied a gloss to her lips that made them dewy looking. Her hair was always contained by a ribbon or clip or was braided. More than once he’d pictured what it might look like free. She was unique. He’d give her that.
It had been a long time since he’d found a woman so interesting. She reminded him of Irish coffee. Sweet, fresh cream on top with a stout bite beneath. What kind of magic was this woman conjuring over him?
“Come this way, my dear.” Mr. Volpentesta led them to a table for two in a far corner of the room.
“How do you know him?” Ryan said close to her ear.
“I live upstairs.” She turned and followed the man again.
“Good choice,” he said, more to himself than her when they were given a cozy spot. What he’d had in mind had been more of a friendly meal than a lovers’ evening. He looked around the room but not finding a better option he accepted his fate. He held her chair out and waited until Lucy was settled before he sat.
“Your father has left nothing out.” She spread her napkin in her lap.
“He was a thorough man.”
“Was?”
Left no choice, he said, “He died.” He couldn’t keep the heartache out of his voice.
At her stricken and pitying look, he wished he’d lied. She placed a hand on his forearm and gave him an earnest look. “I’m sorry.”
Her touch and concern diminished his feeling of loss for a moment. For the first time he actually felt comforted by another human being. Why was it that this Southern belle touched more than just his arm? “I’m doing fine.”
Mercifully, the waiter came to take their order and bought them a bottle of house wine. Ryan wasn’t surprised when Lucy ordered a salad. When the waiter left he leaned forward and said, “Do you have any idea on how many levels of wrong it is to order a salad in a place like this?”
“I’m just not that hungry.”
He gave her a speculative look. “If I were to guess, you haven’t been eating like you should.”
She shrugged and toyed with her silverware.
“Not going to comment on that one?”
“No,” she said with less zeal than she had earlier, confirming he’d been correct.
He fished for something to keep the conversation going that wasn’t too personal. He didn’t think she’d answer more questions if they were. “So, did you grow up in Atlanta?” That wasn’t as impersonal as he would’ve liked but he wanted to know more about her.
“Sort of, but mostly at a boarding school in northeast Georgia.”
He cocked his head in question.
“My parents divorced. It was easier to send Alexis and me off than to take care of us.”
His mother had died when he’d been young. Before his father had gotten too sick he’d been there to take care of Ryan and his sisters. They had never doubted that they were wanted and loved. “Alexis?”
“My twin sister.”
“So you’re a twin. Interesting. I bet you’re close. My father said more than once that ‘Family’s everything. Without family you have nothing.’”
Clouds formed in her eyes. “I guess for some that’s true,” she said, sounding more resigned than wistful.
But not for her? “I shouldn’t have said that.” He took a swallow of his wine. The melancholy in her voice made him wish he’d not quoted his father.
“Alexis and I had each other. We were our own family...” She let the words trail off.
He had to find another subject. “You know, it turns out we’re a better team than I anticipated.”
“Even as slowly as I speak, I’m still worthwhile.” She smirked.
Despite her making fun of him, he enjoyed her quick mind. “Truthfully, I like your accent. Makes me think of lazy, hot days and ice-cold drinks.”
She blinked then her eyelids fluttered down. “Now you’re embarrassing me.” She looked at him. “You know something about me. How about telling me about you?”
“Brooklyn, and more Brooklyn. Med school NYU, intern Angel’s, Angel’s today.”
“I see. The source of your clipped dialect, with a hint of Irish burr occasionally.”
“Guilty. My father was second-generation Irish. My accent isn’t anywhere near as strong as his was.”
Was. He hated that word. Every time he said it, it just reaffirmed that his father was gone.
Their meals arrived. He inhaled the smell of the steaming pie. “This is going to taste wonderful.” He glanced up as he bit into a slice of pizza. Lucy watched him. She looked down at her salad. “What?”
“Nothing.”
“You were thinking something. Tell.”
Her eyes slowly lifted. “I’ve never seen a man enjoy his food quite as much as you do.”
He grinned around the warm pizza at his lips. “I told you I was hungry and this is darned good pizza. Thanks for bringing me here.”
“You’re welcome.”
“You want to share?” He raised the slice in his hand. Somehow the word share took on an intimate connotation when it included her. “Come on, you should at least try your landlord’s pie.”
“I guess I could stand a bite.”
He leaned over the table, holding the slice to her lips. She took a mouthful next to where he’d bitten. Somehow it made it far too familiar. As if their lips had touched. He was captivated by the change in her facial expression when it became one of ecstasy as she experienced the taste and texture of the morsel. His gaze remained glued to her lips when the tip of her tongue peeked out to caress the breadth of her full lips, seizing every particle of pleasure, leaving her pink mouth wet and glistening.
He shifted uncomfortably as his body reacted to the sight. Her utterly innocent look said she had no idea how incredibly erotic her actions were. Making her even more mesmerizing.
“Another?” He couldn’t have stopped himself from asking if he’d been offered a million dollars. He wanted her to repeat that sensual gesture. The downside was he wasn’t sure he could leave the restaurant without embarrassing himself, or, worse, her.
“It was good, but, no, thanks.”
Disappointed, he accepted her decision without pressing her to change her mind. With an effort he prevented his discomfort from showing. Based on her innocent appearance and just as enthralling was the fact she had no idea what she did to him.
He took another bite, hoping to clear his head, but it didn’t help. She really was an enigma. In her slacks and sweater, she looked at if she had never experienced much of life, but he knew better.
They were finishing their meal over a discussion of the latest movies when Lucy’s attention was drawn to something across the room. He turned to see what it was. A mother a few tables over was holding a baby of about six months old. What was it with her and babies? He still didn’t understand her reaction to going to the nursery. He would’ve thought she’d have jumped at the chance to meet a new family.
“Something wrong?”
She looked at him with glassy eyes. “I was just missing my family.”
He identified with missing loved ones. But those feelings could and should be managed. Dealing with a weepy woman was something he wasn’t going to do. “I’m going to call it an evening. I’ve—we’ve, got an early morning. I’ll walk you to your door.”
“Go on. I’ll be fine. I need to speak to Mr. Volpentesta anyway. I’ll get the check.”
“That won’t happen. A gentleman pays the bill. It’s the O’Doherty way.”
* * *
Lucy climbed the stairs to her apartment. The place seemed less inviting after spending time with Ryan in the bustling restaurant. The solitude was stifling. She’d left everything that truly mattered in her life behind when she’d moved to New York. Maybe out of desperation she was hoping she and Ryan were becoming friends.
Their relationship had been rocky initially but they’d developed a mutual understanding in the last few days. He did what he needed to do and she tried not to get in his way. Up until today they’d shared nothing of their personal lives. Their work had forced them together but that hadn’t made them friends. Maybe that was changing.
She unlocked and entered her apartment. Flipping on a lamp, she pulled the curtains closed, something she often forgot to do, not yet being used to living so close to others. She began to undress.
She’d enjoyed her meal with Ryan. It had been nice to eat with someone for a change. While living with Alexis and Sam, they’d eaten the evening meal together every night. It hadn’t taken her long to miss that camaraderie, the feeling of being included.
Lucy had felt that same fellowship with Ryan tonight, but had he?
CHAPTER THREE (#u460ad609-b476-5fb6-8cb9-6ba089870f95)
FRIDAY NIGHT, LUCY hadn’t been home thirty minutes when her phone rang. The deep voice on the other end spoke so swiftly she didn’t catch what he said. It sounded like Ryan but she wasn’t sure.
“Ryan?”
“Yes. Lucy, we have a case coming in. You need to meet me in the emergency room.”
“I’ll be right there.”
She dressed again quickly in jeans and a warm cream-colored pullover sweater. Wrapping a dark blue scarf around her neck and pulling on her coat, she headed out the door. After a subway ride and the usual couple of missed turns in the hospital, she found her way to the ER. At the nurses’ desk, she asked what room Dr. O’Doherty was in.
“He’s seeing a patient. Are you the parent?”
Lucy flinched. That question hit too close to home. That wasn’t her job. “I’m the family counselor for Neurosurgery. Dr. O’Doherty is expecting me.” She showed the clerk her badge.
“He’s in exam room nineteen,” the nurse said, indicating Lucy should go down the hall.
Lucy found the room and knocked on the door. Pushing it open slightly, she stuck her head inside the dim room.
Ryan wore a heavy red sweater with a hint of a white T-shirt showing at the collar and dark jeans that fit his trim hips perfectly. His lab coat was nowhere in sight but, despite his dress, the air of authority around him said he belonged.
A young Hispanic boy of about six months lay on a pristine white sheet on top of a stretcher as if asleep. Lucy worked to make the golfball-size lump in her throat disappear. The boy was so close to Emily’s age. This case was already hitting too close to home. The temptation to turn and run was great. The child’s unnatural stillness indicated he’d been medicated. If anything like this happened to Emily...
Ryan lifted one of the boy’s eyelids and directed a penlight into it. A couple stood nearby, the old man’s arm circled the woman’s shoulders, holding her close.
Taking a bracing lungful of air and letting it out slowly, Lucy slipped quietly into the room and stood nearby so not to interrupt Ryan’s examination. She would get through this. See about the family then go home and regroup. That way she would have her emotions under control by morning.
An anxious-looking woman stood nearby, clutching a purse in a grip that could have strangled a living thing. Lucy’s heart went out to her. Would she herself act the same way if it was Emily lying on the bed? She had to stop thinking in that context. This wasn’t Emily and if it had been, she wasn’t Lucy’s to worry over.
In what must have been her nervousness, the woman broke into rapid Spanish. Ryan gave the mother a perplexed look. Apparently he had no idea what the woman was saying.
It was time for Lucy to brace herself and be the professional she was trained to be instead of the quivering mass of emotions she’d morphed into. She stepped closer, lightly touching the mother on the arm to draw her attention. In a low, even voice Lucy explained who she was in Spanish. The woman visibly relaxed as Lucy continued to speak. “I’m Lucy Edwards and I work with Dr. O’Doherty. Your boy’s in good hands. What’s your son’s name?”
“Miguel.”
“That’s a nice name. Why don’t you come over here and sit?” With a shaking hand Lucy directed her toward a metal straight-backed chair near the wall. The man followed them and stood close. She glanced to where Ryan’s wide shoulders still leaned over the child. Taking a cleansing breath, she said, “As soon as Dr. O’Doherty is through examining Miguel, he’ll be able to tell you more.” The woman nodded, her eyes reflecting all the fear she was feeling. “What’s your relationship to Miguel?”
“His mother. No, I’m really his aunt.”
The words bit into Lucy and a swirl of agony formed in her stomach. Could things get any worse? Her hand came to rest over the spot. She was Emily’s aunt, not her mother. Pressing her hand down, she hoped it would ease the building torment but knew it couldn’t. Would she ever recover? Accept?
“His mother ran off and left him with me.”
She’d run off and left Emily. But it had been different. Her sister was Emily’s mother. Why wasn’t there another chair for her to sit on? She had to grasp her emotions to hold them in check. She’d break down later and let the tears flow. Something she’d sworn never to do again. Lucy almost missed what the woman was saying as she reminded herself to breathe.
“Miguel’s mother didn’t understand his illness. It scared her. This...” the woman placed a hand on the forearm of the man standing beside her “...is my father. Miguel and I live with him.”
With fortitude Lucy would never have thought she possessed, she managed to continue consoling the woman and her father. Maybe if she focused on their needs instead of her own, the anguish would diminish. She continued to tell herself that lie.
Having finished his examination, Ryan approached them. Lucy looked up to find his eyes on her. He nodded with what she read as his appreciation and respect but his brows crowded together seconds too long. Was the agony she felt written on her face? She tried to school her appearance not to show her feelings. The question in Ryan’s eyes was replaced by a grave look.
“Ms. Edwards, may I speak with you a moment?”
She nodded then told the woman and her father she’d be right back. Ryan waited for her outside the door. When she stood close enough that he wouldn’t be overheard by others in the ER, he said, “This child needs surgery.”
“I understand.”
“I won’t lie. This will be a tough one.”
“Then you need to explain it to them. Reassure them.”
“I’m not going to do that.” Ryan didn’t think getting run over by a sixteen-wheeler truck could have knocked the wind out of him more completely. He couldn’t and wouldn’t provide the care Lucy was pushing him toward.
“They’re scared. They need the reassurance that you can give them.”
“Lucy, I do surgery. Not feelings. That’s your department,” he said, his voice rising. “You do your job.”
She flinched but didn’t move. “I am doing my job by seeing that you do yours. I’ll translate. All you have to do is explain what’s going to happen. Parents need to know their doctor cares.”
He had cared. That was the problem. He knew the hurt it caused. He knew pain so great that if he let it out of the box it would groan, snarl and devour him.
“No. You handle it.” He turned to walk away.
She grabbed his arm. “Look, someone has to tell this family something right away. I’m not the doctor. I don’t have the medical knowledge. You’re an excellent surgeon, just let them know that. Give them some hope. That’s all you have to do.” They stared at each other for a long moment before she said quietly, “I’d hate to tell Mr. Matherson that you refused to co-operate on the coordinated care project.”
“The hell you will,” he bellowed, and shook his arm out of her grasp.
Lucy’s head jerked around toward the ER desk. His gaze followed. The staff behind the desk and in the hall had stopped in place to look at them with astonishment, curiosity and anticipation on their faces.
Great. If this got back to Matherson or, worse, Rodriguez...
He looked at Lucy. “Okay. But I do it my way,” he growled.
Lucy nodded. At least she didn’t smirk. If she had, he didn’t know how he would’ve reacted. He’d talk to the parents but he’d leave feelings out of it. He’d survived his father’s death and illness on his own and others could handle their problems. He offered his medical skills to his patients, performed surgery to the best of his ability but he couldn’t get involved outside his work in the OR.
They re-entered the room.
The family remained seated and he stood over them as he spoke. Lucy translated. “As I understand it, Dr. Matthews, your son’s neurologist, has explained that the child has experienced a grand mal seizure. The drugs that he has been taking are no longer working effectively. The seizures your son is having now will only get worse as time goes on. Your son—”
“Miguel,” Lucy offered.
That was just like Lucy to make it personal. Something he didn’t want. Ryan glared at her then turned back to the mother. “Miguel’s going to need surgery to slow these down. At first Dr. Matthews thought the surgery might need to be done right away. I believe that Miguel needs to stay in the hospital and be monitored for a few days. But he will need surgery. Even after that the seizures will continue, but they shouldn’t be as severe.”
The mother was openly crying by the time he’d finished. All he wanted was to get out of there. Nothing he could say or do would make it better for them. He wasn’t going to try. No matter how hard Lucy pushed.
He looked at her. “I need to make some arrangements and a couple of calls. I’ll have to see about setting up a surgery time and date. Right now, I want him to remain sedated and rest. Dr. Matthews has already started the admission process.”
“I’ll see that they understand.” She mouthed, “Thank you.”
That wasn’t going to smooth over how he felt about being forced to talk to the parents. His stomach was one big mess of knots. He left without a backward glance.
Thirty minutes later and still seething from the earlier ordeal, Ryan stalked to the family counselors’ office. For a person who couldn’t have told anyone where it was at the beginning of the week, he was actually visiting it for the third time. Lucy had made him go through the wringer and he intended to make it clear he would not allow it to happen again.
It was late enough that the floor was quiet and the lights had been turned down in the hallway. A light glowed beneath the office door. He rapped on the door with enough force that the nurse at the end of the hall looked up from where she was charting.
There was movement in the room and the door remained closed. Lucy must be in there. He’d raised his hand to knock again when the door opened.
“Yes?” She met his gaze. “Is something wrong?”
“As a matter of fact, there is. I will not be blackmailed.”
Both their heads tuned toward the shushing sound coming from down the hall. The nurse had her finger held across her lips.
“Let’s go into your office.” He gave her a nudge. Her uncertain look brought his anger down a notch. He hadn’t intended to scare her. “Please, Lucy.”
She backed into the room but didn’t meet his eyes. He entered and closed the door, and Lucy moved as far back in the room as the tiny space would allow. She didn’t sit, so neither did he.
He shoved his hands into his pockets. “Just what was that all about down there in the ER? Why the big push to get me to be so concerned about the family’s feelings? You went too far tonight, Lucy.” He stepped a pace closer as he spoke.
She stood her ground. “Because the least they deserved was to have their doctor’s, and especially their surgeon’s, concern. They want to hear the good and the bad from you. They want to feel they can trust you with their loved one’s life. To do that they have to know you. They have to have a relationship with you, even if it is only a surface one. They’re putting the most precious thing in their lives into your hands and that takes real courage.
“Do you have any idea what it is like to hand your child over to someone? To trust them to give them the care and attention that you would?”
Her large, dramatic eyes glistened. Was she going to cry?
“Are you so insensitive that you can’t have any compassion for the parents of your patients? It’s a good thing you’re not a thoracic surgeon because I don’t think you’d even recognize a heart if you saw one.”
Ryan recoiled as if he’d been slapped. He’d come here with the intention of getting an apology and instead he was getting a dressing down. Where was all this venom coming from?
She turned to her desk, putting her back to him. “I’ve had enough for today. I’m headed home. We can talk about this tomorrow.”
“No, we can’t.” He used his OR hand-me-an-instrument voice. “We’re going to talk about it now. I don’t think that entire tirade was to do with me or what happened in the ER tonight.”
She pulled out the desk drawer and brought out her purse. “Look, Ryan, I’m too tired to hash this out tonight. I’d just like to go home.”
“We’re not going anywhere until you explain to me—”
“You can’t keep me here.”
“I can.” He moved so that he leaned against the door. “But I’d prefer not to.” Her luminous eyes pleaded with him and his heart caught. The part he’d thought had died with his father. Lucy was pulling him, kicking and screaming, back to life.
“Something is wrong. Don’t tell me you’re just upset about the boy because I won’t buy it. Even with your tender heart, you wouldn’t be this upset.”
“Not only a brain surgeon but a psychiatrist too. My, you must’ve been a genius in med school to be as young as you are and pull off two degrees.”
“Not a genius but I do pride myself on being perceptive. Or at least I used to be.” That had been until Alex Rodriguez had been brought in to take the department head position that Ryan had been so sure was his. “Anyway, we’re not talking about me.”
She pulled her coat and scarf off the back of her chair. “I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings but it needed to be said. Now, if you’ll excuse me...?” She stepped toward him as if hoping to intimidate him into letting her pass.
He shook his head. “Not until you explain.”
She dropped into a desk chair. He took the chair closest, propping his elbows on his knees and facing her.
“Sharing wasn’t outlined in the co-ordinated patient care manual. Can’t you just let it go?”
“You owe me an explanation for your attack.” That at least got a contrite look from her. Was he losing his mind? He didn’t confide in people and he didn’t get involved in another person’s personal life.
“You’re going to make me say it?”
He nodded.
“Miguel’s mother isn’t really his mother.”
“Miguel?” His brows dipped. He was completely lost.
“Your newest patient.” Her voice had a tone of impatience and a touch of disappointment.
He was catching up. What did Miguel have to do with her problem? “Oh, yes, Miguel Rivera.”
“His mother is really his aunt.”
She wasn’t usually this vague. His puzzled look must have indicated he had no idea of the significance of that statement.
“I carried a baby for my sister and her husband. I had in vitro fertilization,” she said quietly.
Being a surrogate for her sister had been Lucy’s ultimate pleasure. Handing over the baby she’d carried her greatest pain. In order to survive emotionally, she’d left. Emily was her sister’s baby, not her own. No matter how much her heart screamed differently.
She stood and said in a flat voice, “Now can I go?”
Ryan’s eyes widened. He blinked and shifted slightly, as if he was formulating his words carefully. “Of all the things I might have thought you’d say, that wasn’t one of them.”
To voice the words had been painful, but there was something freeing about having said them. She couldn’t believe she’d told Ryan of all people. He’d more than once proved he couldn’t connect on an emotional level. If she had been going to confess to someone, he wouldn’t have been her choice. She’d only shared her pain because he’d caught her in a weak moment and he’d insisted.
Still, being new to town and working long hours, he was the closest person to a friend she had. He was the only soul other than Mr. Volpentesta that she saw regularly. That thought was so sad she didn’t take time to analyze it for fear she would start crying. Here she was revealing her deepest pain to someone who hadn’t wanted her even taking up his time just a few days earlier.
Ryan stood. “I’ve heard of women being surrogates, but I’ve never known anyone that has done it.”
She’d obviously shocked him. For some reason she felt the need to make him understand. “My twin sister Alexis and her husband Sam tried to conceive for years. When Alexis asked me if I would carry their baby, I couldn’t turn her down. Didn’t want to...” The words trailed off. If I’d known...
His eyes widened as if he suddenly saw the picture clearly. “So when Miguel’s mother said she was really his aunt, it hit too close to home?”
She nodded. “It almost killed me to give Emily up.” She looked at her hands clasped around her purse.
“Emily?”
“My ba—uh...niece.”
He placed a large hand on her shoulder. The heat from him seeped into her, easing some of the ache. As if he’d realized what he was doing, he let his hand fall away.
“That must have been hard.”
Ryan sounded sincere but a little unsure. Her head spun. Was this the same doctor she’d had a heated confrontation with just an hour earlier about being compassionate? She’d never seen this side of him with the families. Maybe what happened tonight had knocked some of that crustiness off. She looked into his gorgeous blue eyes that compelled her to continue.
“My head said she didn’t belong to me, but my heart said differently. I made the fatal mistake of starting to think of her as mine.” She’d shared all she could. Her nerves were raw.
“You didn’t want to give her up.”
She couldn’t have been more surprised. He understood. “That’s why I took this job, to get away. Had to figure out how to get my life back. I’d like to go home now.”
He opened the door. “Put on your coat. I’m going to see you home.”
* * *
Ryan delayed until he was sure Lucy had made it safely inside her apartment. She’d insisted that he not walk up with her so instead he’d had the taxi wait until he saw her light come on.
He was on an emotional overload. If it had been a warmer day, he’d be sweating. He’d felt more and cared more than he’d wanted to in the last twelve hours. Taken a double shot. All of a sudden he’d been forced to support a family and had later become Lucy’s confessor.
He’d been more in touch with others’ emotions than he had been since his father’s death. His father’s debilitating disease had not only taken him but had slowly taken Ryan’s soul as well. He couldn’t let himself be pulled into that eddy again. He would be back to going round and round. If he didn’t feel, didn’t care, then it didn’t hurt. Supporting someone emotionally was beyond his ability any more.
Today he’d stepped too close to the edge. At Lucy’s pronouncement and the troubled look in her eyes, he’d almost gone over that edge. Only through fist-clenching control had he not taken Lucy in his arms.
They’d both stepped over the professional line today. After the emotional flood Lucy had experienced, would she be able to handle her job? She was supposed to be there to support and care for Miguel’s family. Could she maintain that openness that made her so effective?
Lucy was worming her way into his life so effortlessly that she would begin to expect something he couldn’t give to both her and his patients. She’d want everything and he had nothing. He had to step back a pace. Keep their relationship professional only. It was up to him to make it happen.
The problem came down to whether he had the strength to remain distant when he looked into those stunning jeweled blue eyes misted over with unhappiness.
* * *
Lucy hadn’t heard from Ryan over the weekend. She’d not really expected to but she’d hoped he would at least call and check on her. It had felt good to share her burden with him. Just talking about Emily had made it easier. There had been a time she couldn’t have uttered the words. Now at least she could think about Emily without crying. If Ryan hadn’t insisted she talk, she might still be stymied by the pain. It wasn’t gone but it had eased.
On Monday she didn’t see Ryan until evening rounds and there was no opportunity to talk to him outside of giving reports on the patients.
They were just finishing up when Ryan announced to the group, “Miguel Rivera’s surgery is scheduled for tomorrow first thing.”
“I helped walk the mother through the insurance process and found them a place to stay while Miguel’s in ICU,” Lucy reported.
Ryan gave her a curt nod that held none of his usual humor. It was as if they were strangers again who knew nothing about each other and never intended to. He laughed and joked with the other staff members but hadn’t even spoken to her directly. This was worse than his reaction to her on the day they’d met. She hadn’t expected them to be best friends but she hadn’t anticipated being thoroughly ignored either.
She didn’t make it a habit of confiding in anyone other than her sister, and now that was gone she had no one. It disturbed her that the single time she’d stepped out beyond her safety zone she’d been treated like she didn’t exist.
Maybe she should give him the benefit of the doubt. Was he worried about Miguel’s surgery? Ryan had already proved that he was the kind of guy that compartmentalized. Still, she’d come to expect a certain attitude from him and she missed his easy grin.
Miguel’s surgery was an all-day affair. Lucy came to the hospital early so that she’d be available if the family needed her. She had to work harder than usual to keep her emotions in check. Miguel reminded her so much of Emily that she had to call on her professional persona and do what she’d been trained to do. During the day, between seeing to her other cases, she checked in with the family. She happened to be sitting with them when Ryan came in after surgery to speak to the family.
The dark blue scrubs he wore brought out his vivid eyes. He hesitated a second when he saw her. He looked tired, the lines around his mouth a little more evident. After giving her a brief nod, he turned his focus on the mother and grandfather waiting anxiously to hear what he had to say.
“You will translate?” Ryan asked, again without looking at her.
“Yes.”
Ryan didn’t go down to the mother’s eye level, but instead stood away from her. She looked up at him from where she sat. Disappointment filled Lucy. She’d hoped that what had happened the other night would make a difference in his rapport with families.
“Miguel’s doing well. He came through surgery fine but it will not be an easy recovery. He’ll be in ICU for a few days. If all goes well he’ll go out to the children’s ward after that. The first few days we have to be very careful.”
“Thank you,” the mother gushed, jumping up to wrap her arms around his waist.
Ryan looked shocked but patted the woman’s shoulder. “You’re welcome.”
Lucy might have found it comical if it hadn’t been for Ryan ignoring her.
He pushed away from the woman, shook the man’s hand and left without a backward glance. Lucy understood this time wasn’t about her but she still couldn’t help the disappointment she felt that Ryan hadn’t said something to her.
She’d planned to stay late in order to go into ICU with Miguel’s family for the first time. The boy’s nurse spoke enough Spanish to answer simple questions, allowing Lucy to leave without worrying about the family being on their own. She followed behind the Riveras as they left the unit. Ryan was sitting behind the unit desk. He looked up briefly and met her gaze before his eyes returned to what he was doing. A prickle along her spine said that he had watched her walk out the doors.
Where was the guy she’d thought might be a friend? She’d had enough of the cold-shoulder treatment. She was going to find out.
* * *
Ryan had just finished rounds for the evening. He’d done them later than usual. His clinical staff always knew that it would be a late night after he’d had a big surgery and made plans accordingly. Today was one of those days. He’d had his clinical nurse notify Lucy.
She was waiting along with everyone else in the hall, looking efficient and fresh despite the late hour. It had been a long day for her also. She’d been there every step of the way with the Rivera family. Ryan had been impressed with how well she seemed to be holding up under what had to be a difficult situation for her. To his discontent, he’d found himself worrying about her. Wondering how she was doing. That was a road he didn’t want to travel.
When she’d visited ICU with the family he had been aware of every move she’d made. She’d looked tired, but every bit as committed to the family as he’d hoped she would be. A couple of times she’d looked in his direction with questioning eyes that had also held disappointment. It had been far more difficult not to engage with her than he’d anticipated. Still, he thought it was for the best.
He made every effort to make it through rounds as efficiently as possible. Lucy spoke to each of the families before she left the patient’s room. The families had smiles on their faces when the door closed behind him and his group. She’d turned out to be a real asset. Without a word, she turned toward her office with determined steps.
Having finished on the floor, he headed to his office for a quick wash up before checking on Miguel. There would be no going home for him tonight.
There was a knock on his office door. A nurse coming to get him this late at night wouldn’t be good news. “Come in,” he called.
Lucy stalked forward, stopping in front of his desk.
“There’s a problem?” By the determined look on her face there must be. He had a nagging idea he knew exactly what was bothering her.
“Yes, I’d like to discuss something with you.”
Discuss? Lucy didn’t look like she was in a discussing mood. He’d never heard her sound so forceful, even more so than she’d been a few nights earlier. She’d shared her heartache with him the other night. That had scared him. He didn’t want to know anything else. “Lucy, it’s been a long day and I’m not really up for some major discussion if it’ll wait.”
“It won’t,” she snapped.
Apparently she was on a mission. “Then you can have a seat while I finish cleaning up.”
“‘I’ll stand.” She pulled her sweater tighter around her chest.
“As you wish.”
Her lips tightened. What would it be like to kiss those full lips into a smile of pleasure? Make her forget why she was here? Hadn’t he promised himself that he wouldn’t allow those thoughts? What he needed to do was find some nurse and take her out on a date. Have a good time.
He’d managed to keep Lucy at a distance for the last couple of days but he still couldn’t get the sad look she had when she’d told him about Emily out of his mind. He even remembered the child’s name. He was already far too involved.
After toweling off, he rubbed a hand over his more than five o’clock shadow and decided to shave. Stalling all he could in the hope that Lucy would leave. Five minutes later he stepped out into his office again.
Lucy still remained rooted in the same spot she’d been in when he’d left her. Her brows were drawn together and her mouth had eased but remained in a thin line. She pulled the ever-present cardigan tighter around her and crossed her arms. Her look said she might boil over at any minute.
“So what’s the problem? I know this can’t be about Miguel. He was doing fine when I called to check on him a few minutes ago.”
“No, this is about us.”
“I wasn’t aware there was an ‘us’.”
Before that moment he couldn’t have imagined her standing any straighter or looking more out of sorts, but he’d underestimated her. The blue in her eyes went diamond sharp. If she’d had the capability, he was sure she would’ve sliced him up into small pieces. He moved behind his desk and faced her.
“There isn’t an us. Not the kind you’re insinuating.” Her southern drawl had lost its gentleness, taking on an edge that showed she had a strength she kept hidden. She took a deep breath that made him curl his fingers into fists to keep from touching her.
“What I’m trying to say is that I don’t appreciate the cold-shoulder treatment that you’ve been giving me the last couple of days. I shared something incredibly personal. Painful. At your request. Then you start acting like you don’t know me.”
There was no volcano in any part of the world that could’ve looked more furious and spat more sparks than the woman standing in front of him. But he couldn’t let that sway him. “So, because you told me your life story I’m supposed to be your best friend?”
* * *
Lucy jerked back as if she’d been physically slapped.
For the first time in her life she thought about striking another person in anger. She clenched her teeth. Hitting him was the least of what she’d like to do. Run him over with a car, set him on fire, pull his fingernails out with pliers. Ooh, the man!
She was through being the peacemaker, the one who bent over to make everyone happy. “Look, you egotistical, arrogant man, I don’t expect you to be my best friend but what I do expect is for you to be civil.
“The staff has noticed how you treat me. I’ve been asked what I did to make you mad. For some reason, not obvious to me, you’re well liked. Your attitude towards me makes my job more difficult because the staff assumes I have done something wrong. I’m the new kid on the block so they’ll side with you.” She stopped long enough to take a breath.
When he opened his mouth to speak she held up a hand, stalling him. “What I want—no, demand—is that you show me the professional respect that I deserve. I will never make the mistake of believing that I’m anything other than a colleague you are forced to work with. Until we are told differently, I will do my job in the most professional manner possible and I expect the same from you.”
He took a step toward her. “Are you finished?” he said between clenched teeth.
She hesitated. “No. Actually, I’m not.” Her voice rose, which she almost never allowed to happen. “Fear not, I’ll never confide anything of a personal nature again to you.”
With that said, she turned and stalked out the door. Her hands shook and her knuckles had turned white where they were balled beside her. The clacking of her heels on the tile hallway matched the beat of her racing heart.
Boy, that had felt good. Liberating. She’d had no idea how much pain and anguish she’d kept bottled up. Maybe Ryan didn’t deserve the full blast of the emotions she’d kept in check over the last few months. Heck, yeah, he did. He’d been a real jerk. The release had been freeing. She’d been stupid to ever think they could be friends.
It had been empowering. To let go for once. To fight for herself.
She would’ve dealt with her feelings about him backing away from her in private, but when it came into the patient care area she’d had to draw a line. Then she’d had to say something. She smiled. She’d lectured, more like.
Heading for her office, she passed a nurse who said, “Hi, Lucy.” She gave her a bright smile. The nurse gave her a funny look but returned Lucy’s smile. She was relieved to find her office empty. She didn’t want to discuss what had just happened with anyone while she was still feeling mad. If she did, the other person would be so surprised to know she had just told off the wonderful, charming, friend-to-all-the-nurses-and-patients Dr. Ryan O’Doherty. Haw!
That was, everyone but her.
Was she jealous because he didn’t treat her the same? No, that couldn’t be. Maybe it was. He had at least made it known that he appreciated her contributions in the last week. She had just read him wrongly. He didn’t like her. She could deal with that. What really annoyed her was that she liked him.
The light on her computer blinked, indicating she had a message. Tapping a key with more force than necessary, her email inbox opened. She scanned it. The message was from Mr. Matherson in HR. He requested that she and Ryan attend Jack Carter’s going-away party together as a sign that the co-ordinated patient care program was working.
“Great. Just great.” She was starting to agree with Ryan’s negative view of this program.
A new message came up. The address indicated it was from Ryan. She clicked. His terse message read: “Assume you received same email. Will pick you up at seven.”
CHAPTER FOUR (#u460ad609-b476-5fb6-8cb9-6ba089870f95)
RYAN STEPPED ONTO the landing of the third floor above Volpentesta’s Restaurant and studied the glossily painted doors. Lucy’s response to his email had been “Third floor, red door.” That had been the sum total of their personal communication since she had stalked out of his office.
During rounds she’d made it a point not to stand near him. To make the Siberian, dead-of-winter, glacial temperature between them worse, she seemed even sunnier and happier to see the patients and the other staff members than usual. None of that sunshine fell on him.
If she’d had a question about a patient she’d turned to his clinical nurse for answers. Even when Miguel had had a high fever while still in ICU and Ryan had had a real concern that the boy might require another trip to surgery, it hadn’t been him Lucy had turned to for information in order to reassure the parents.
He’d been concerned about her reaction to Miguel’s downturn but he wouldn’t let himself ask her about it. He wasn’t going to that place he’d been during his father’s illness. But, still, he cared.
Lucy couldn’t have made it clearer that she had no use for him if she’d shouted it over the intercom. It had been the longest week of his life.
Wasn’t that the way he’d wanted it? Yeah, but living in exile hadn’t turned out to be as easy as he’d thought.
For heaven’s sake, he did brain surgery for a living, on children no less, and the quiet, unassuming woman had rattled his world. He suspected this would be the least agreeable date he’d ever been on. With resigned steps he approached her door and paused for a second before knocking. He’d not been this nervous since he’d done his first solo surgery. This woman wouldn’t intimidate him, he refused to allow it.
Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, he tapped on the door. It opened with a suddenness that startled him.
“I’m ready,” Lucy said in a snippy voice.
Her anger hadn’t cooled. Instead of making him mad, she’d managed to make him feel guilty. He didn’t like that feeling at all.
Lucy stepped out into the landing and pulled the door closed behind her. Her coat was already on and buttoned. A scarf in shades of pink orbited her neck. There was a faint smell of wildflowers about her.
Recovering from the shock of her sudden appearance, he found his breath caught in a stranglehold with the realization that Lucy’s hair was down. He’d never seen it anything less than under control. Tonight it hung in honey-gold ringlets around her face and down her back. Way down her back. He’d imagined, more than once, what the mass would look like set free but none of his ideas had come near the reality. Her hair was outstanding, glorious, mesmerizing. If he could only touch...
He lifted a hand. She jerked back as if burnt.
That hurt. Could the little boy caught with his hand in a cookie jar have felt any more humiliated? Disappointed? “After you,” he mumbled as he moved back to let her precede him.
He watched in fascination as her wheat-colored mane bounced across her back as she went down the stairs. Her hair stood out in contrast against the chocolate color of her coat. He’d always thought of himself as a leg man but in this case that might not be accurate. What would it be like to have that curtain of gorgeous hair hanging above him while her eyes twinkled at him and her mouth lowered to his? He groaned low in his chest.
She glanced back at him. The unwelcoming look on her face said Don’t you dare before it continued down. The woman couldn’t possibly know his thoughts, could she?
He had to get control of his libido or the night would be even more difficult than he’d originally assumed. Lucy was already angry with him and lusting after her wouldn’t make her happier. Grateful for the cold blast of wind that met him straight on when he stepped out of the building, he squared his shoulders. He could do this. If he had to, he’d walk outside when the need to touch her became too strong. Maybe they could get away with putting in an appearance then leaving.
Lucy turned and looked at him as if asking what came next.
“This way.” He stepped toward the restaurant valet attendant, resisting the urge to cup her elbow. She walked beside him but not so close that they touched. He handed the parking slip to the attendant.
Her eyes went wide. “You’re driving? I thought we’d take a taxi.”
“Not tonight.”
When the attendant pulled the low, two-seater sports car in front of them Ryan had the pleasure of watching as Lucy’s mouth form an O. He grinned. She liked his car. Lucy allowed his touch as he helped her into the car. A ringlet of her heavenly hair curled along his arm. He took his chance and touched it briefly. So soft.
Closing her door, he walked around the vehicle, bracing himself to be confined in a small space with a woman snapping mad at him. Could her anger and his lust coexist without turning to fireworks before they made it to the Ritz?
* * *
Lucy looked away from the stop-and-go traffic as they worked their way up Fifth Avenue. She studied Ryan’s profile by the glow of the city lights. The luminous yellows, greens, oranges and blues flashed across his straight nose and firm jaw. By anyone’s definition Ryan was handsome. When he smiled, breathtakingly so. But being attractive was only surface deep. Where it really counted, he’d let her down. He’d pushed her away. She didn’t like someone playing tug of war with her emotions.
Ryan glanced at her and she quickly looked away.
“Everything okay?”
“You mean besides us being forced to attend this party together?”
“You do know it wasn’t my idea.” His words were as flat as a table.
She sighed. “I know.” Silence filled the space between them as if they were strangers.
Minutes later Ryan said, “I had no idea you had so much hair. You always keep it up or in a braid.”
“Too much. I grow it for Locks for Life.”
“What’s that?”
“I give my hair to make wigs for cancer patients.”
Had he mumbled “What a shame”?
“Does your twin have the same kind of hair?”
“No. We’re not identical.”
“It’s beautiful, you know.”
Warmth that had nothing to do with the car heater blanketed her, but she wasn’t going to be pulled in by him again. She no longer trusted him but she couldn’t deny it felt good to receive a compliment from such a virile man. “Thank you, but you do know that you don’t have to pay me compliments. I’m not your date who needs to be charmed. This is a business party.”
“I’m sorry if giving you sincere praise and making conversation disturbs you.”
“Let’s just get through this evening with as little personal conversation as possible.”
“I’m not promising that.”
They had stopped at the next light before she spoke again. “I didn’t think anyone who lived in the city drove.”
“I don’t drive often but I like to when I can. You know, this could almost be considered a personal topic.” The smile in his voice shone through clearly.
Lucy huffed. The man was making fun of her. Typical male. Have it out and move on as if nothing had happened. That didn’t work for her. She was still upset with him.
Getting through the party was going to be a challenge, with Ryan’s charm swirling around and his talent for exasperating her. The evening could go one of two ways. She could blow up at him again or fall at his feet. The latter she couldn’t let happen. Compounding the problem was that if she’d noticed how handsome he was on a daily basis it didn’t come close to how fine he looked tonight.
His jet-black tux fit his shoulders to perfection. A tall man, his formal dress had seemed to make him tower over her as he’d helped her into the car. The stark white of his shirt accented his dark skin. The entire package screamed man of power. His haircut didn’t completely control the thickness of his locks. Was it soft or bristly to the touch? Those thoughts were better left in a drawer. She gulped and held her purse in a death grip as she resisted the urge to touch him.
She made a resolution. Her goal was threefold: get through the party; return home; and prepare herself to be professional again on Monday. The other day Ryan had made it clear he wasn’t interested in discussing anything close to being deeply personal. She’d be glad to honor that.
There was no doubt in her mind that she wouldn’t have been his date if it hadn’t been necessary to keep in the good graces of the hospital. She just hated the tension that hung between them. It was a strain to always be on guard. At one time she’d thought they might be friends. Could have been if he’d not treated her as if she’d done something wrong by showing her feelings.
Ryan pulled the car skillfully to the curb in front of the brass doors of the Ritz. The attendant opened her door but Ryan was there to help her out. He offered his hand and she placed hers in it but let go as soon as she was on the sidewalk. She liked his touch too much. He opened the door of the hotel for her like the gentleman he’d been taught to be. The O’Doherty way didn’t extend to friendship apparently.
Only by hanging onto her anger did she manage not to step closer to him and breathe in his scent. He smelled of tropical islands and salt breezes. It would’ve been heavenly to be escorted by such a dazzling man if he’d wanted to be with her. But he didn’t.
She was relieved Ryan didn’t offer his arm but instead followed a half a pace behind her as they entered the hotel. Close enough for her to feel protected by his large body but not overpowered. The zing she’d experienced when she’d touched his hand as he helped her out of the car still lingered. She could only imagine the extent of her reaction if she’d held his arm.
They walked across the marble-tiled hotel lobby towards the ornate circular staircase. She glanced back at Ryan. His attention was on Dr. Rodriguez, who was pacing nearby while talking on his phone.
When Ryan met her look his lips were tightly compressed. He cupped her elbow and they continued forward. “I’d like us to get through this evening as civilly as possible,” he said as they climbed the stairs. His relaxed attitude had been replaced by one of a man on a mission. “This is important to my career and yours as well, I’d guess.”
She looked at him. It hadn’t been a good idea to look into his beautiful persuasive eyes. After swallowing hard, she said, “I don’t see a problem. I’ll play my part.”
His brows took a downward turn as if he wasn’t completely pleased with her response. “Then there shouldn’t be an issue.”
“Agreed.”
As couples passed them on the stairs, Ryan moved closer to her to accommodate them. “Smile. You look like I’m escorting you to the guillotine.” She gave him a wry smile.
“See, that isn’t so hard.” His breath whispered across her cheek.
A shiver shot through her. Being drawn in by his charisma wasn’t part of the plan. She had a part to play that couldn’t include falling for him.
Reaching the top of the stairs, they walked through the double doors into a room filled with people mingling. Attending this function with Ryan had not been her choice but she was still grateful to have him there. In a twisted bit of irony he was her anchor in a sea of unknown people. “I’d like to check my coat.”
“Sure. While you’re doing that I’ll get us some champagne.”
She didn’t usually drink, or at least hadn’t in a long time. While she’d been carrying Emily it had been off limits. At that time, everything in her life had revolved around the pregnancy. Now her life rotated around trying to get past it. Lucy handed her coat to the girl behind the counter and slipped the check ticket into her sequin-trimmed handbag. Fanning her scarf out, she adjusted it across her shoulders.
She’d had to shop on the fly after receiving the emails from Matherson, then Ryan. The second-hand consignment store a block away had saved the day. With pure relief, she’d found her dress. The instant she’d tried it on she’d known it was the one.
The salmon shade was the perfect color for her. It added life to her cheeks that hadn’t been there for ages. The front dipped a little too low but it showed off her breasts to their best advantage. Two straps crisscrossed her back and the silky fabric fit snugly around the bodice and hips to drop into a cloud of folds. The dress bolstered her confidence, which she desperately needed tonight. She pushed her hair over one shoulder and licked her lips. Having done all she could to brace herself, she went in search of Ryan.
She spotted him leaning on an elbow at a high cocktail table. A champagne flute sat in front of him and the other he held by his fingertips. He was like James Bond, dashing and just as dangerous. She’d have to remind herself constantly of how disenchanted she was with him or he’d sweep her off her feet before she knew what had happened.
Ryan watched a group of people standing across the room before his head turned and his focus rested on Lucy. He blinked then straightened to his full height. He stared. Lucy’s heart fluttered. He took a long draw on the liquid from the glass he still held before he set the flute down. With long strides he came to meet her.
He stopped in front of her and leaned in intimately close. “You may get angry, and I know this will step over into the personal area, but, damn, you’re beautiful.”
Heat flooded her neck and face. Grateful for the low lighting, she smiled. “Thank you. I think I’ll let you get away with it this time.”
He laughed. The deep, rough sound flowed over her.
It was dangerous to be out with him. They’d been together less than an hour and she was already having difficulty keeping up her guard. To have someone tell her she was beautiful and look at her as if she belonged to him, as Ryan was doing now, was all she’d ever wanted. To belong. Be accepted. To have a little niche in the world that was hers alone. Like her sister had.
Ryan’s pleasure remained on his face and her stomach did a loop the loop. That smile was for her.
“Come on, have some champagne. Then we’ll make the rounds and do our duty.” He led her back to the table where he’d stood and handed her a flute.
She glanced at the floor, forcing her emotions under control. How could he look at her like that while the words out of his mouth said he’d like to be as far from her as possible? She took the champagne. Maybe the liquid courage would help with the confusion she felt.
“Just try a sip or two. It’ll help calm your nerves.” Ryan raised his glass to his lips.
“How do you know my nerves need calming?”
“Your hands are trembling.”
Great. After days of making her feel like a wall ornament he passed without notice, now he was paying attention to her. She did need to settle her nerves.
She sipped the gold liquid and enjoyed the bubbles playing a melody in her mouth before she replaced the flute on the table. Clasping her hands to appear calm, she said, “The email invitation implied that we should sign a pledge card to help raise money for the clinic in Harlem.”
Ryan grinned. “Yeah. It didn’t take Jack long to get on board, with Nina doing the convincing.”
“I’d like to take care of that before I forget.”
“Good idea. I think that’s being done at a table over there.” He pointed to the other side of the room.
“You lead,” Ryan told her. Lucy turned and stared in the direction he’d suggested. Ryan placed a hand at her back and shock waves rippled through him. He’d touched bare skin. He jerked his hand away as if he’d been branded. One more surprise and he would be dragging her out of here to someplace private. She looked like sin and smelled like spring.
Lucy didn’t slow down as she worked her way through and around the people standing in groups, talking. He drew in a breath and followed her. He’d have sworn he’d been sucker-punched when she’d walked towards him. The simply but functionally dressed family counselor had transformed into a sultry siren of sensuality. Nothing about her indicated she’d once carried a baby.
He didn’t care if she thought it was being too personal to say she was beautiful. He couldn’t help himself. He’d not been the only one staring at Lucy. And he didn’t like it. Suddenly he wanted her all to himself. That wasn’t a realistic wish.
Lucy and he had just broken out into an open area and were headed towards the pledge table when his name was called.
“Ryan O’Doherty. I had hoped to see you here.”
He turned to find Alex Rodriguez standing behind him. “Alex,” he said, more tartly that he should have.
Lucy waited patiently beside him. He guessed she wasn’t missing a single nuance of his and Alex’s interaction.
“We need to have a quick talk. Be in my office tomorrow morning before your first case.” Alex’s veiled dictate didn’t go over Ryan’s head.
The only answer he could give was, “Sure, I’ll be there at six-thirty. I’d like to speak to you also.”
They stared at each other like two alpha wolves deciding how they were going to share the same space. Ryan knew Alex had already won. He was the head of the neuro department now.
“Good,” Alex said, and looked at Lucy.
“Have you met Ms. Edwards?” Ryan asked Alex.
“I have. Glad to have you working with us, Ms. Edwards.”
“Thank you.”
“Dr. Woods.” Ryan waved at the blonde woman walking past.
She stopped. “Hello, Ryan.” She smiled but when her gaze fell on Alex it dimmed.
Had Alex crossed swords with her also? “Layla,” Ryan continued, “I’m sorry I wasn’t here when the announcement was made that you’re going to be the new pediatric head. Congratulations.”
“Thanks, Ryan.”
He looked at Lucy. “Have you met Lucy Edwards, the new neuro family counselor, and Dr. Alex Rodriguez, our new neuro head?”
“Hello, Lucy.” Layla offered her hand to Lucy then turned to Alex, hesitating before she took the hand Alex extended. “Alex.”
She gave his name a hard edge and their handshake was almost over before it had begun. Did they have some history? Interesting. Maybe Ryan wasn’t the only one that Alex had rubbed up the wrong way.
“Hello, Layla,” Alex said, his tone almost as cutting as hers.
“You two already met?” Ryan asked, looking from one to the other.
“Yes,” Alex answered, but his attention remained on Layla. “How’re you?
“Fine. And you?”
“Well.”
If there was an iceberg between Lucy and himself, it was nothing compared to the frigid fog gusting off the two people in front of him.
“Is your husband here with you?” Alex asked, glancing around the room.
Even in the dim light Ryan could see Layla blanch. “No, we’re divorced.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Alex said, but his response lacked a ring of sincerity. “If you’ll excuse me, I see someone I need to speak to.” He nodded curtly to the group and was gone.
“Lucy and I are on our way to sign pledge cards. Would you like to join us?” Ryan asked Layla.
“Thank you, but I’ve already stopped by. I need to speak to Jack a second so I’ll see you around,” Layla answered, not looking at him. Instead, her gaze rested on Alex’s back as he moved across the room.
“Then we’ll see you later.” Ryan put his hand at Lucy’s waist. A thrill went through him when she didn’t move away.
“Nice to meet you, Dr. Woods.” Lucy said. When Layla was out of earshot, Lucy whispered, “What was that all about?”
“I don’t know but I’d say there’s some history between them. And not the good kind.”
“I’d say she isn’t the only one that feels that way.” She looked meaningfully at him. “I know you wanted the department head job.”
“I did. Do.” Once again she had him telling her things he should keep to himself.
“I would’ve thought you would’ve been the logical choice.”
“Me too.” He’d put in his time, paid his dues and had been confident he’d be the committee’s pick.
“Do you have any idea why they didn’t?”
“Yeah. Bad day for an interview.”
She looked at him keenly. “How’s that?”
“Who’s getting personal now?”
She sneered at him. “This has to do with the hospital. It’s not personal.”
“Seems personal to me.” He’d have to tell her or she wouldn’t give up. “My father passed away the week before the interview. I left straight after the interview to attend his funeral. My mind hadn’t been on impressing the committee.”
His father’s illness and death had not only destroyed Ryan emotionally but it had also damaged his career. The timing of his bid for a leadership position couldn’t have been scheduled on a worse date. He’d make sure when the next opportunity arose that he’d done everything he could to sway the decision in his direction. He was determined to make his father proud. That was why he’d agreed to be a part of the co-ordinated patient care program. Why he had brought the woman next to him to this party.
Lucy put her hand on his arm. “Ryan, I’m sorry. That seems so unfair.” She looked at him with deep compassion.
Were her feelings always on display? “And that’s life.”
“That’s a little more cynical sounding than I believe you are.”
This conversation had already touched areas he wasn’t interested in exploring. He gave her a twisted smile. “Come on, let’s see about those cards and then get something to eat. Maybe have a dance,” Ryan suggested.
* * *
Lucy wasn’t too sure about the dance part. That would require Ryan to touch her and if he did so she was afraid she might make a fool of herself. “I’ll go for the food. I’m not dancing with you. This is no date.”
She glanced at him. Had Ryan said, “You want to bet?”
Minutes later they were making their way towards the hors d’oeuvres tables despite being stopped a number of times by greetings from people Ryan knew. He was flawless in his manners and introduced her every time. The charming O’Doherty way.
Ryan seemed to be popular with women and men alike. He was always ready with a witty remark and a quick smile. Why couldn’t she and Ryan have that kind of relationship? Oh, no. She was letting him do it to her again. He’d made it perfectly clear how he felt and she’d do well to remember that.
“Why don’t we sit down for a while and enjoy this without juggling the plates?” Ryan suggested, heading toward an empty table.
They lapsed into silence as they ate. Lucy’s animosity had dwindled but she still wasn’t at ease with him, afraid she’d share too much or, worse, sound needy. Her heart went out to him about his father. He’d obviously cared intensely for the man. And to have lost the department head job must’ve hit Ryan hard as well. For as little as she had shared with him on a personal level tonight, she’d managed to learn a great deal about Ryan.
While taking small bites, she looked around the room at the upper-level staff of a world-renowned children’s hospital. In spite of dealing with life and death on a daily basis, they were still humans with problems of their own. She glanced at Ryan. He too had issues, even though he worked to hide them behind that facade of humor and charm. She couldn’t point a finger. She also hid her pain.
Her gaze settled on a group that included Dr. Woods. She kept glancing toward the entrance, where Dr. Rodriguez had his arm around a pretty woman’s waist and was leading her out the door. Dr. Woods shrugged a shoulder and turned to speak to the man beside her. Something about the way she’d been watching Dr. Rodriguez intently was in direct contrast to the nonchalant way she was acting. Lucy’s belief was that Dr. Woods’ look implied she wasn’t pleased to see Dr. Rodriguez leave with a woman.
Their issues weren’t Lucy’s concern. She had enough of her own, starting with the man sitting beside her. “How much longer do you think we need to stay?” she asked.
“Why?” Ryan popped another canapé into his mouth. “You in a hurry to get away from me?”
“I thought it was the other way around.”
“Why would you think that?” His face took on a perplexed look. “I thought we were having a pretty good time.”
“Well, you made it more than clear that you weren’t interested in spending any more personal time with me than necessary.” She nudged her half-empty plate to the center of the table and stood. “If you’re not ready to go, I don’t mind taking a taxi.”
He stood. “We can go. We’ve done our duty. I’d just hoped to get one dance with you.”
“This isn’t a date. It’s work,” she said over her shoulder as she made her way to the coat-check counter. “Dancing comes under the heading of personal.”
She claimed her coat. Ryan took it from her and held it while she slipped it on. He stood so close that his body warmed her back. She stepped forward on the pretense of putting her scarf on in order just to catch her breath.
* * *
As Ryan and Lucy descended the stairs she said, “By the way, I understand about the department job but that doesn’t explain way you don’t like Dr. Rodriguez. There’s something more going on there.”
“More?” He did not want to talk about this.
“Yeah. I thought you were supposed to be Mr. Happy-Go-Lucky and you were...what would be the word?...strident, harsh, displeased...” She stopped on the step and looked up at him as if trying to pull the right expression out of the air. “You don’t care for the man. Why?”
“It’s personal.”
“Right. You’re going to play that card.”
“Why not? You’ve been throwing the word around all night.”
They’d reached the bottom of the stairs when Lucy said, “Closing off when you might have to share more than a joke. Typical.”
“Look, I’m sorry if you think I have no concern for your vulnerabilities, but I’ve done nothing wrong. I’m not your confessor. You spilled, I listened, and now we move on.” He couldn’t let her know that he admired what she’d done. If he did, she might use him as her confessor again. He desired her supple body and itched to caress her hair, but he wanted nothing to do with being involved in her life.
If Lucy could have produced steam, he didn’t doubt it would be coming out of her ears right now. “Of all the contemptuous, uncaring things you could have said. You’re nothing like people think you are.”
“How many of us really are?”
“That’s a pretty pessimistic way to look at life.’
They continued across the lobby. “It might be, but you can’t deny that it’s the truth. We all hide things from others.” He should know. Most of his life he guarded closely.
“Yes, we do.”
“But for some reason you think I should tell all. Is that little family counselor who wants to make it all better working after hours tonight?” Goading her was starting to be fun. At least, if she was mad at him he’d be less temped to explore his fascination with her. She was so beautiful with her hair cascading around her shoulders. Her eyes glittering with anger only heightened that beauty.
“Oh, you...you... You’ve managed to make it personal!”
That did it. He’d heard that word one too many times. As they passed a small alcove he took her waist and pulled her in. “I’m going to show you personal.”
Combing his fingers into her hair, he brought his mouth down to hers. It wasn’t a gentle kiss. He wanted to consume her. Wanted to get her out of his system, out of his life. The world slowed to nothing but Lucy and the moment. He’d not felt so free in a long time.
She jerked away and he immediately regretted the loss of her lips. He wanted more. The evening had certainly turned out far more positively than he’d anticipated.
Lucy’s eyes were wide as she gazed at him blankly. She blinked and in that second she found reality again. With a quick look around, she checked to see if anyone had seen them. Relief flooded her features when no one was visible.
Her eyes flashed at him as she hissed, “You had no business doing that!”
“It wasn’t business, it was personal.”
She clenched her mouth shout, glared at him before she swung around and stalked away.
He caught up with her before she made it out of the main entrance. “The valet service is out the other door.”
“I’m getting a taxi.”
His fingers circled her arm. She stopped and looked pointedly at his hand. He released her. “Come on, Lucy. I apologize. It won’t happen again. I brought you and I’m going to see you home.”
* * *
Lucy said nothing as they rode back to her apartment. He glanced at her while they stopped in traffic. There was a pensive look on her face and her fingers touched her bottom lip. He grinned. So she wasn’t as unaffected by his kiss as she acted.
Good, then maybe he’d get to kiss her again. One taste hadn’t been enough.
When he entered her street she said, “Just pull up in front of the restaurant. It’s not necessary to park. I can get in on my own.” She raised a hand. “I know that goes against your raisin’ but I’ve had enough tonight.”
He hadn’t had enough and he didn’t think she had either but he wouldn’t argue the point. Stopping by the curb in front of her apartment, he let Lucy out as she’d requested. “See you tomorrow, Lucy.”
“Tomorrow,” she said, as if she was parroting him instead of really thinking about what she was saying. She bit her lower lip.
His male ego took flight. Yes, there would be more kisses.
CHAPTER FIVE (#u460ad609-b476-5fb6-8cb9-6ba089870f95)
LUCY STARED OFF into what little space there was in her office.
Ryan had kissed her. Had kissed her good. He’d kissed her like no one else ever had. Her lips tingled from the memory. She stuck the tip of her tongue out and licked the center of her bottom lip. Could she still taste him? With an effort she stopped herself from moaning.
“Lucy, you okay?”
“What?” She looked around.
“I’ve called your name twice. Something bothering you?” Nancy asked.
“Oh, no, I’m fine. Just thinking.”
“How’s it going with Ryan?”
Lucy’s heart revved up. Her body temperature rose. Beyond a shadow of a doubt her face had gone beet red. “We’re fine.”
Nancy looked at her longer than Lucy found comfortable. “You aren’t falling for the silver-tongued devil, are you?”
“No. We’re just co-workers.” Lucy tried to sound as convincing as possible, tried to convince herself that his kiss had meant nothing.
“I see,” Nancy said, but disbelief ricocheted around the room. She smiled knowingly at Lucy before she picked up papers off her desk. “Hey, it’s Saturday night. Why don’t you come to O’Malley’s Pub for a drink before you head home? Everyone will be there. I’ll introduce you around. Should have done it already.”
Lucy wavered only a second between going home to spend the evening alone or getting to know other staff members better. “I think I’d like that. Thanks.”
“Great. What time is Ryan usually through with rounds?”
“Today it should be about six.”
“Perfect. I’ll meet you here.”
“I’ll be ready.” Maybe going out with a group and having some fun would get her mind off Ryan O’Doherty. Still she couldn’t help but have a fluttery feeling in her middle at the thought of seeing him again.
* * *
“So, Alex, what can I help you with?” Ryan asked as he took a seat in one of the two chairs in front of Alex Rodriguez’s desk.
“Ryan, I thought I should speak to you privately about a couple of matters that came up during the patients’ review meeting yesterday,” Alex said, leaning back in his chair.
Ryan looked at him expectantly.
“I heard that you and Ms. Edwards had a public shouting match in the ER the other evening.” Alex’s voice made it clear he wasn’t pleased.
Ryan had let Lucy push him too far. His emotions had gotten away from him. Something he rarely, if ever, allowed to happen. Now he was being criticized because of it.
“Things like that reflect poorly on my department and you professionally,” Alex finished with a note of reprimand. In a very unsubtle way Alex was making it clear he wouldn’t tolerate it happening again.
“Ms. Edwards and I did have a heated discussion about a patient. We’ve worked out our differences.”
“Good. That’s what I wanted to hear. Do I need to speak with Ms. Edwards?”
Ryan shifted in his chair. He couldn’t have Lucy telling Alex what they’d been arguing about. “That won’t be necessary.”
Alex nodded. “Now for the other issue. I understand that the Rivera kid’s progress hasn’t gone as expected.”
The hair on the back of Ryan’s neck stood at attention as he shifted into fighting mode. What was this guy getting at? With his background he didn’t have any room to talk. Or accuse.
“Miguel—” Ryan stressed the boy’s name “—is doing quite well now. He did have a setback in ICU but he didn’t require additional surgery. His recovery has been slower than I originally estimated but he’s coming along fine nonetheless. Why? Is there a problem?”
“All I’m doing is asking the question that was put to me. I’m not accusing you of anything. In order to have a solid, top-notch neuro department, I need to know what’s going on. It’s my job to protect my staff but also make modifications when necessary in patient care.”
Ryan wasn’t sure how he was supposed to respond to those statements. He glared at Alex. He didn’t appreciate the implication that he couldn’t manage the case or manage his job in general. He needed to get a handle on his ire if he didn’t want to create a problem. Like it or not, Alex was his superior. Antagonizing him wouldn’t be to his own advantage. “What exactly are you insinuating?”
“I’m not insinuating anything. I’m just voicing a concern.”
“Just for the record, you should know that I’ve done my homework. I know about you and your malpractice case.”
Alex leaned forward. The only visible sign that Ryan had hit a sore spot was the tic in Alex’s jaw.
Ryan received a small amount of perverse pleasure from the other man’s reaction. “I haven’t shared this information with anyone else. I’ll admit that I wanted your job but not if I had to act underhandedly to get it. I wanted it based on my merit and skill. The committee voted for you. You’re a talented doctor and no matter how much I’d like to have your position; I can’t fault your skills as a surgeon.”
“I appreciate that,” Alex said. “Thank you for clearing the air. It’ll be my job to see that you are left alone to care for your patients. You can count on me standing behind you. If there’s a problem regarding administration then we’ll discuss it behind closed doors.” Alex stood and offered his hand.
“Agreed.” Ryan shook the other man’s hand. He was pleased with the tentative plan he and Alex had established to stay out of each other’s way based on mutual respect. Ryan still wanted the position of head of Neuro and one day he would have it.
Long hours later he found Lucy sitting in the surgery waiting room with the family of his most recent surgery patient. He’d stopped being surprised at the consideration she gave to parents.
Lucy looked up at him from under half-lowered eyelids as he finished speaking to the family. She really was a lovely woman. Her hair was pulled back, making him wish he could take it down and feel its silkiness one more time.
That evening, she showed up for rounds, adding information as necessary. He was hyper-conscious of every move she made. She held a clipboard against her chest like a breastplate, as if preparing to go to war for her patients. The free tentacle of hair she pushed at impatiently when she spoke intrigued him. Her lips captivated him the most. The urge to create an excuse to see her in his office was so tempting. Only because he respected her enough not to make her feel cheap or self-conscious had he not let his baser instincts run wild.
The woman had gotten to him. First it had been her gentle ways, then her strong backbone as she’d told him off, then her sexy looks and tasty lips last night.
“I think Miguel might be well enough to go home early next week. Ms. Edwards, will everything be in place on your end for that to happen?” he asked. Did the others notice her cute, shy ways? What was he going to be doing next, spouting poetry? He had the hots for the leggy family counselor and if he wasn’t careful it was going to show.
“I have everything lined up. All it needs is your signature on the orders.”
“Good. I’ll take care of that. I understand there was some concern that the family might have difficulty getting him back here for the post-surgery check-ups.”
“There’s a group called Care Ride that helps patients with transportation to and from appointments. They either send a car or see that the family has a subway pass for X number of times. I’ve already signed up Miguel’s family and they have been approved.”
“Excellent.” Ryan smiled at her. “Then I think we’ll send the young man home the better for his visit to Angel’s.”
The group standing around him chuckled and he winked at her.
* * *
Lucy’s heart leaped and did a somersault. He’d included her. A warm feeling washed over her. She was starting to belong somewhere, even if it was just at her job. She was a part of Ryan’s team.
Twenty minutes later, with purse in hand, she was on her way to meet Nancy in the lobby. Her co-worker needed to deliver some paperwork to a different department so they had decided to meet downstairs. Lucy circled by the nurses’ station on her way out. Ryan sat behind the desk.
He rolled the chair back when he saw her and smiled. “Hi.”
She tingled all over at the sight of him. It happened so often around Ryan she’d begun to think of it as her body’s normal reaction. She’d given up fighting it and settled for not letting it be on display.
“It’s more like bye. See you next week.” She kept walking.
He stood and met her at the end of the long nurses’ desk. “Hey.” He scanned the area as if looking to see if anyone was paying attention to them. His blue gaze met hers. “How about we have some Volpentesta’s pizza together tonight?”
She wasn’t sure she could handle being alone with him again after last night. He was well aware of her loneliness and vulnerabilities. Would he take advantage of that? Could she trust him? She certainly couldn’t rely on herself to stop him if he kissed her. Wanting to belong so badly, would she recognize it if Ryan didn’t feel the same? Could she survive if he treated her like he had before? She was a basket of nerves.
With a sense of relief she said, “I’ve got plans.”
His look of surprise, then disappointment, made her heart flip. Ryan didn’t get turned down.
“I want someone to be interested in eating with me for me, not for the pizza my landlord makes.”
“That has nothing to do with it. I... I—”
“I’m kidding Ryan. You’re not the only one who can make a joke.”
He looked around again before his gaze came back to bore into hers. This time the crystal blue held a sauna-warm intensity. “I thought I proved last night that I like you. You taste better than any pizza I’ve ever had.” His voice had softened.
Heat filled her and she looked away.
“What’re you doing tonight?”
“Hey, Lucy, I thought you were going to meet me in the lobby?” Nancy said as she approached them.
“I was on my way. Sorry you had to come back up.”
Nancy looked from her to Ryan and grinned. “Ryan, we’re on our way to O’Malley’s for a drink. Want to join us?”
Only with supreme self-control did Lucy suppress a groan. No way would she ever relax with Ryan in the group. It was all she could do not to act like she had a schoolgirl crush around him as it was. She certainly didn’t want anyone else to notice. Nancy was already too suspicious for Lucy’s liking.
“Sure. I’ve got a couple of other things to see about here. I’ll meet you there.” Ryan grinned at Lucy.
“Great. We’ll save you a seat,” Nancy said.
* * *
O’Malley’s Pub was loud and busy when Nancy and Lucy arrived. Lucy was grateful for all the noise because it made it more difficult for Nancy to quiz her about Ryan. The questions had been free flowing since she and Nancy had left the hospital and during the short walk to the bar.
Nancy waved at a group in the corner. Lucy followed her as she weaved her way through the mass of people to the table. They settled in and Nancy introduced her to everyone. Some of them Lucy recognized, but others were completely new to her.
“We need to save a seat for Ryan,” Nancy announced.
Those that heard Nancy turned to look at her in surprise. “Dr. O’Doherty? He never comes out with us. What gives?”
As popular as Ryan was with the staff, Lucy was surprised he’d not spent more time socializing with them. As she thought about the man, in he walked. Had she been watching for him? Even across the crowded room he’d managed to zero in on her. He smiled and headed her way.
Ryan had changed from his ever-present scrubs into worn jeans and a light blue sweater. The collar of his button-up shirt showed above the neckline. As he approached, women turned to watch him. Her insides trembled.
“Room for another?” he asked, standing between her and Nancy.
“Sure.” Nancy scooted over and Lucy did also. Ryan squeezed between them on the wooden bench. The tight space meant Ryan’s firm body was sandwiched against hers from hip to thigh. His heat branded her along the length of her leg. She squirmed, trying to put as much room between them as possible.
He looked at her, which brought his face much too close for her comfort, and whispered, “If you continue to wiggle like that, I might think you’re issuing an invitation.”
She sucked in a breath and jerked her head around to look at him.
He grinned.
The waitress circled by them and took their order.
“I’ll get this round,” Ryan said, smiling at Nancy then her, “just for asking me along.” His look said he knew Lucy would have never invited him.
The conversation flowed around the table. She mostly listened. Ryan told a story and everyone laughed. He really was fun. Despite all his story-telling and jokes, he rarely shared anything personal about himself. What little she’d learned he’d been forced to tell her in order not to appear rude. Even his story tonight was about someone else.
Was he hiding something or was he just so closed off he couldn’t share?
At one point, he leaned forward to hear what someone was saying farther down the table and Lucy had a wonderful view of his broad shoulders and back. The muscles across his back rippled beneath his sweater as he reached for a basket of peanuts. His hair brushed against the top of his collar and there was a line around the back of his head where his surgical cap had been tied. It looked like he’d tried to get rid of ‘cap hair’ by running his fingers through it, leaving it with a mussed look that had a boyish appeal.
Lucy folded her hands tightly in her lap, stopping if not completely relieving the desire to touch those irresistible locks.
He leaned back and looked at her. “Is something wrong?”
People were always asking her that when she thought about him. She was going to have to work on not showing her emotions so much. In answer to his question, yeah, she was beginning to feel too much. She didn’t trust herself. Didn’t trust him.
“I’m fine. Just tired, I guess.”
“We’ve both had a long day. Come on, I’ll see you home.”
“That’s not necessary. I’ve learned to manage on my own. I wasn’t late but once this week.”
He leaned closer. “My, that is an improvement. Still, I’d like to see you get home safely.”
She wouldn’t have thought it possible but Ryan moved further into her personal space. Somehow it seemed safer to take her chances on her own.
Glancing away from his compelling look, she found the others at the table watching them. Did they think he was going to kiss her, like she was afraid he would? “Uh, sure.”
He stood, stepping over the heavy bench, and waited for her to do the same.
“I’m going to see Lucy home. She isn’t feeling well.”
There were mummers of concern around the table. Lucy smiled at them weakly.
She couldn’t refute Ryan’s statement because it would make her look silly. Waving a hand, she murmured, “Goodnight.”
The table quickly returned to their discussions. Ryan led the way, taking her hand. He used his big physique as a wedge through the crowd of people and pulled her along behind him. They picked their coats off a peg by the door and put them on. Soon they were out on the sidewalk, standing in the cool, windy night air. Ryan let go of her hand and she felt the loss immediately. She hefted her purse strap over her shoulder then stuffed her hands into her pockets in an effort to contain the warmth he’d left behind.
Lucy faced him. “You know that they all think something is going on between us.”
“Isn’t there?” He cocked his head to the side and gave her a slight grin.
“Not that I know of.” She started down the sidewalk. He fell in beside her. “A week ago you treated me like I had the plague. You weren’t even speaking to me. Why would I think anything has changed?”
“Maybe because I kissed you and you kissed me back.”
“You think just one kiss is going to make a difference?”
He stopped and she did too. “I’m shocked that the tender-hearted, make-everyone-feel-better woman is really a skeptic at heart.”
“You can’t turn a cute phrase every time you don’t like the subject matter.”
He grinned. “I’m pretty sure I can.”
“I wished I could stay mad...” she muttered.
“I heard that.”
They fell into silence by mutual agreement as they walked. All the lights in Manhattan had been switched on. Lucy missed being able to see the stars in the sky but there was also something intriguing about living in a techno show. “I’m always amazed at all the lights and sounds here,” she breathed.
“Yeah, it’s pretty fascinating. And noisy. You should see the lights from my place. I think you’d be impressed.”
“You sure that isn’t some come-on line, like ‘Would you like to see my etchings?’”
His deep-throated laugh made her think of hot fudge over a brownie. Sinfully wonderful. He really had a magnificent, heartfelt laugh. She needed more laughter in her life. Ryan being the source both flabbergasted and unnerved her.
“Well, it could be but actually it’s the truth.”
They walked slowly down the street, occasionally dodging people. “So is that how the great Dr. O’Doherty lures women into his wolf’s lair, by saying come look at my view?”
“I don’t invite just anyone to my home.” His voice had turned serious.
“Really? Why?”
“Because I like my privacy.”
When the wind picked up and a light drizzle began to fall he said, “I’ll get us a cab.”
“No, I can get home from here. I’ll take the subway.”
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yeah, okay. I’ll ride with you.”
Lucy didn’t try to argue. She’d figured out it wasn’t worth the trouble. They found the subway entrance and used their passes to go through the turnstile. The station was crowded with the evening after-work foot traffic. As they waited, they were pushed closer and closer together.
Was everyone and everything conspiring to keep her shoved against Ryan? No matter where they went it seemed like his body was in contact with hers. She loved the warmth and security he provided but it was hard on her already edgy nerves. Maybe she should’ve agreed to the taxi. At least it would have allowed a foot of space between them.
When the train came, Ryan pulled her back against him, wrapped an arm around her waist and held her close as the car unloaded.
“Let’s go.” He nudged her forward as the last person stepped off the train. He moved her in and down the car to stand next to a pole. All the seats were taken. “You’re going to have to learn to be aggressive if you ride at this time of day,” he whispered next to her ear.
He made the words sound far more suggestive than they should have been. They had her thinking of firelight, him, the floor. She shook her head. That was no place for her mind to wander. She searched for a handhold on the bar to steady herself for when the train launched out of the station. None were available.
“Brace yourself against me,” Ryan said from behind her.
“I’ll manage.”
“Yes, and fall. Maybe hurt yourself or someone else.” He widened his stance and again wrapped his solid arm around her. “Remember I offered a taxi.”
“I think you’re just using this crowd as an excuse.”
“Excuse for what? To hold you? Come to think of it, it is working to my favor.”
“Ryan, don’t tease me. I don’t need this.”
She tried to pull away but he tightened his embrace fractionally before the beep sounded to notify everyone that the doors were closing.
“I’m not teasing. Give me a chance to make it up to you.”
She sure wanted to. Would he treat her just the same again? This time she was afraid she’d have more invested. It could hurt worse.
They rode in the same intimately close position until they reached her stop. Since when had a ride on a dirty, hot, packed subway car become sexually exciting? Even with a crowd of people around them her world had narrowed down to just Ryan and the effect he had on her body.
“Isn’t this your stop?” His breath brushed her ear.
“Uh?”
“You get off next.”
“Oh, yeah.”
“Where has your mind been?” His chuckle was low and suggestive.
Darn the man. He knew exactly what he was doing to her. The cold damp of the outside was a blast to her hyper-sensitive system. A welcome relief from the heat. It woke her from the blissful Ryan-filled trance and jerked her back to reality. She stepped away from him, putting as much distance between them as she could. Her body had reached overload and she needed to regain her perspective. He didn’t leave her side or touch her as they walked the block to her apartment. She stopped at the foot of the stairs and faced him.
“Thanks for seeing me home, even if it wasn’t necessary.”
“My pleasure. I enjoyed it.” He had a wicked look in his eye.
“I’ll see you next week.”
“You’re not going to invite me up?”
“No.”
“That hurts.”
“I don’t know what’s going on here. What I do know is that you’re playing at something. After tonight at the bar, all the tongues will wag about us. I need as little emotional upheaval in my life as possible. I have no interest in becoming part of the O’Doherty harem.”
“The woman speaks her mind. For starters, I don’t have a harem. Nice idea, but I work too many hours to keep a group of women happy. Second, you’ve been doing too much thinking. Why don’t we just try being friends again? I don’t have to take calls tomorrow so how about I show you around New York? Is there any place that you’ve never been but would like to go?”
“I thought we were friends—”
He put up his hands as if to warn her off. “Okay, I’ll say it. I’m sorry. I messed up. Tomorrow will be no strings attached. No expectations, just two people enjoying a day off. How about that?”
She took so long to answer that his uncertainty that she would say yes started to show.
“Okay, then I’d like to see the Statue of Liberty.” When she’d visited New York as a child her parents had been planning to take her and Alexis out to see it, but instead they’d gotten into a huge fight and that part of the trip had been forgotten. It would be nice to see the statue and share it with someone instead of going by herself.
“Perfect. I love the old girl. How about we sleep in and I pick you up around eleven?” He made it sound like he was issuing an order in ICU. As if Lucy would dare defy one of his directives. “Wear your fun clothes and something warm. It’s cold on the ferry over to the island this time of year. See you tomorrow.” He turned and raised a hand for the taxi that was passing by.
Had she just been sucked into the vortex that was Ryan O’Doherty?
* * *
Ryan couldn’t remember looking forward to a day off more. At least, not since the time his father had surprised him with tickets to a Yankees game when he’d been a kid. It had been more than he could do to concentrate on his schoolwork that week, with thoughts of going to the big game. Thankfully he didn’t have a week to contemplate spending the day with Lucy.
He’d asked her to his house. He took his solitude seriously and didn’t share outside his family. He dated—after all he was a red-blooded man and had needs. He’d had his share of women but had never let them get too close. For some reason, Lucy had slipped under that barrier. He wanted her to see his place, wanted to share his home, his special view with her.
Most of his days off he spent with his sisters and their kids. In fact, they’d been shocked then pleased when he had told them he was taking Lucy out to the statue. There were far more questions than he was willing to answer about Lucy but they accepted for the time being what few he gave. He knew they weren’t done. They worried about him and he didn’t like that.
Ryan knocked on Lucy’s apartment door right at eleven. There was a scuffle of movement before she opened the door. “I’m not quite ready. I’ll only be a minute.”
“Mind if I come in?” he asked.
Lucy paused longer than he would’ve liked to give her answer.
“I guess.” She opened the door wider and he followed her into the small but neat apartment. The first thing that struck him was the lack of personal items. Even as a bachelor he had family pictures around his home. It was very telling. There was nothing there to indicate she had any family that she cared about, and he knew differently.
She wore jeans that fit her slim figure perfectly, not leaving a single curve untouched. Lean and fit, she looked lovely. He wished the bulky cream-colored sweater didn’t hide her luscious breasts. He had told her to dress warmly so he only had himself to blame. She’d pulled her hair up and through the back of a baseball hat and braided it. She looked like a woman-child instead of the competent, mature woman he knew her to be.
After slipping her arms in to a pea jacket and looping a bright pink scarf around her neck that hung below the hem of the coat, she said, “I’m ready.”
“Great. I think we’ve got a perfect day to visit. The sun’s shining and the wind isn’t up too high. We need to hustle to make the ferry. I managed to get us tickets on the one o’clock. We were lucky. They take reservations and there were only two left. Otherwise we might have had a long wait.”
At Battery Park, Ryan paid the cab driver and grabbed Lucy’s hand. “We better run for it.” He loped so she could keep up with his longer stride. As they raced across the park to where the ferry was docked, he glanced back to check on Lucy. Her bright smile and rosy face made him grin like a foolish kid. She looked happy.
“I’ve not run like that in a long time,” Lucy said, panting as they stood in line to go through security.
“Neither have I. It felt good.”
Lucy looked up at him. “It did, didn’t it?”
He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and gave her a quick hug. “We’ll run back after we see Liberty if you like.”
She grinned. “I think I’d be just as happy with a walk.”
He laughed.
They made it past security and Ryan fished their tickets out of his pocket as the powerful engines of the ferry started to boil.
“Where did you get those? Do you have an ‘in’ with the port authorities?”
He waved the papers in his hand. “The internet is a wonderful thing.”
They walked aboard and found a spot on top. Out in the open they could get a three-hundred-and-sixty-degree view of the city, the bay and New Jersey.
“It’s amazing,” Lucy said as she stood beside him and looked towards the statue.
“I love this city.”
“You’ve never wanted to live anywhere else?” She looked at him as if his next words would be committed to memory.
“No. How about you? Anyplace special you’d like to live?’
“Not really. Other than my sister’s I’ve not had a place to call home in a long time.”
Her words drifted away on the wind as they crossed the harbor. He might have had it rough with his mother dying so young but his dad had always made sure that Ryan had a home. Just as he’d made sure his sisters had known they had one when his father had gotten sick. He didn’t know what he would do without his family...
Lucy shuddered. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close. She didn’t resist but relaxed against him. Ryan liked the feel of her next to him. “Having fun yet?” he asked as they closed in on Liberty Island.
“Yes. More than I thought I would.”
He studied her a moment. “What exactly does that mean? You didn’t think it would be fun to spend the day with me?”
“I wasn’t sure.”
“You could damage a man’s ego.”
“I think you have enough of one that it can take a hit.”
He squeezed her tighter in retaliation. When she giggled he let her go. “Did you really think you wouldn’t have a good time with me?”
“I’m not going to get the cold shoulder again after we share something personal, am I?”
“Funny, very funny. Coming from a woman I couldn’t get a smile out of a week ago.”
The ferry docked and they followed the other passengers down the gangplank. They spent the next two hours exploring the grounds of the statue and listening to a park ranger tell the history of the lady.
“Can we climb to the top?” Lucy asked.
“They’re doing repairs. I’m sorry, it’s closed. We’ll come back when it opens.”
“Oh, I had hoped to look out of her.”
She had the sweetest pout on her face. He leaned down and gave her a quick kiss, unable to resist her pucker.
Lucy put her hand to her lips. “Why did you do that?”
“Because you look so sad.”
“Oh.”
He looked up at the top of the statue. If he didn’t focus on something else he was afraid he’d kiss her again. She looked so adorable in her confusion. “My father brought my sisters and me here when we were kids. It was an experience to remember. Every year my father let us take turns picking some place in the city that we would like to go. This was mine. I wasn’t nearly as happy with one of my sister’s picks.”
“What was that?”
“She wanted to go to the Met.”
Lucy’s laughter made him feel good deep down inside. “You don’t like art?”
“I do. But as a twelve-year-old it was a punishment.”
She giggled some more.
“Dad’s rule was that we were to go as a family. I went but I wasn’t happy about it.”
“Those memories must be fun to share now.” Her voice had taken on a melancholy sound.
He took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “The holidays are something when we all get together. Loud and lots of fun.” He stopped abruptly. His father wouldn’t be here this year. That’s the first time he’d allowed a thought like that to enter his mind.
This time Lucy returned his comfort. “You’ll miss him.”
She’d known without asking what was bothering him. He recognized her counseling voice and found it comforting. “I will.” This was supposed to be a fun day for them both, and he wasn’t going to let sad memories overshadow the day. “Hey, you interested in seeing Ellis Island?”
“Sure. If we have time.”
“Then come on. I’ll show you the name of the first O’Doherty to come to America. We can look and see if any of your family members came through too.”
* * *
Lucy wasn’t as confident that they would find any of her family noted as being on Ellis Island as Ryan was. Edwards was such a common name that if they did, there would be hundreds or thousands. It didn’t matter. She was having such a good time that she’d go along with any idea he had.
Ryan’s view of family was so different from hers. Her family life was so fractured that she could hardly remember the last time they’d all been in the same room. Could they do that now and be civil? No one had tried to get them together in a long time. Maybe it was time someone did. Yeah, right, she couldn’t even face her sister.
She and Ryan stood atop the ferry taking them from Liberty Island over to Ellis Island. No other tourist braved the chilly air. The wind was cold but Ryan wrapped his arm around her shoulder and she burrowed into his warmth. He gave her a history lesson on the two islands and the museum over the roar of the engines. After he finished one story, she looked up at him and said, “You’re a great tour guide but...”
Ryan raised a brow as if she’d dared to question his skills.
“Sometimes you talk so fast I only understand the first and last words.” She grinned at him.
“Let me see if this is slow enough for you.” His lips brushed hers, teased and tasted.
She was falling for the guy. Falling hard.
Was it that he’d offered her the first real happiness she’d had in months or was she just so desperate to be noticed for who she was that she’d fall for anybody who gave her attention? She’d always been the youngest, had stood in Alexis’s shadow as the quieter one, had been the baby carrier, and now she wanted to be the one who stood out.
Ryan made her feel special. She was going to go with that feeling, revel in it, experience it, grasp it and hold it tight for as long as she could.
CHAPTER SIX (#u460ad609-b476-5fb6-8cb9-6ba089870f95)
LUCY HELD RYAN’S hand as they exited the boat and entered the Ellis Island National Monument. The warehouse-type building had housed immigrants who had funneled through on their way to gaining freedom and new citizenship. Still hand in hand, Ryan showed her around the different levels, wandering past black and white pictures of people who had stayed on the island.
She probably should have removed her hand but didn’t want to. His friendly but secure clasp gave her a feeling of belonging. What would it mean to truly belong to Ryan O’Doherty?
“I often wonder what it must have been like to leave everything you know and love behind and pick up and move somewhere else,” Ryan commented as they looked at a picture of a man holding a child in his arms. “I don’t know if I could do that.”
Hadn’t she done that very same thing? Just not on as grand a scale as leaving the country where she had been born. In many ways, she was no different. She was struggling to find her place in the world.
“They had to work to rebuild their lives.”
She was doing that also. The job was there but she floundered with the other aspects. Today had been the first day that she’d felt like her old self in a long time. She liked it.
“Let’s go have a look at that book.” Ryan directed her toward the center of the large building. He stopped before a glass case. Inside lay an old register with names written in faded ink.
“Come on.” He grabbed her hand and gently pulled her towards a computer screen on a wall nearby. He sounded as excited as a kid wanting to show off a toy. “All you do is type your last name in and see what comes up.”
“You do yours first.” She didn’t know much about her family tree. That hadn’t been a priority when her parents had been together. Certainly hadn’t been mentioned after their divorce. Even her grandparents had deserted her.
“All right.” Ryan tapped the keys.
A list came up on the screen of all the O’Dohertys who had passed through Ellis Island.
“See, this is my grandfather.” Ryan pointed with his index finger. “He was just a baby then. These are his siblings. All nine of them.” He ran his fingertip down the list of names. “I can’t imagine having nine children,” he said in wonder.
“That does seem excessive.” Her heart caught. She’d given birth to a child.
“A couple sounds like plenty to me,” he said offhandedly.
Pain filled her. She’d already had a baby. “That sounds about right,” she said dryly.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
She shrugged. “It’s okay. I have to learn to live with it. Move on. It’s a fact and I can’t change it.”
He gave her a quick hug. “I think you’re doing a great job.” He kissed the top of her head and let her go.
She appreciated his show of support. If she wasn’t careful she could get too used to it. “Tell me about this grandfather or great-grandfather who picked up and moved his whole family.”
“Well, he was pretty much like everybody else who came through here. He was Irish and wanted a better life. Settled in Brooklyn, worked hard but had little other than family. And family is everything.”
“And your dad and mom?”
He looked away as if he wouldn’t answer then he turned back to her. “Mom was the local girl who married the big Irish policeman who came into the café where she worked. Mother used to say she fell in love with his Irish brogue and the rest of him just came with it.”
“So that’s where you get the hint of an inflection intermingled with your Brooklyn clip.”
He chuckled. “That’s a nice way of putting it. Mostly the Brooklyn has taken over but every once in a while the Irish really shows through.”
“How old were you when your mother died?”
“Thirteen.”
She didn’t miss the hitch of pain in the word. “Your sisters?”
“My sisters were a number of years younger. Dad became both parents.”
“That must have been tough, on all of you.”
“It was, but I think it was toughest on Dad. He’d lost the love of his life. He wasn’t only the breadwinner but he had to be the stable factor in our lives when his was crumbling.”
“Crumbling?”
He hesitated as if he didn’t want to say more. “He got sick. He developed motor neuron disease.”
“You had said he’d died but not that he’d died so slowly. That must have been horrible for him. You and your sisters.” She grasped one of his biceps and squeezed, hoping to relay her sympathy.
As if he’d gone off into the past, he continued, “I saw him struggle to keep his job for as long as he could. Then be forced to give up one more thing he loved.”
He needed to talk. She knew not only from her experience as a counselor but because she’d been in the same place when her parents had divorced and again when she’d left Alexis and Emily. Ryan and she had both known loss.
“I had to watch this rock of a man slowly die. He had to be put into a nursing home. I thought it might kill him to go but I was the one it almost killed. I hated it that he needed to be there.”
Ryan was pouring out his pain like water that had been dammed and needed a place to go. How long had he been keeping all this pain to himself? No wonder he’d isolated himself from the families of his patients. She felt troubled. She’d pushed him to be more open.
“You carried the responsibility, didn’t you? For everything. Him, your sisters. For holding things together.”
He looked at her as if amazed. As if for the first time he recognized that someone understood.
“Yeah. I visited him as often as I could. Took care of my sisters.”
Ryan’s reaction to what she’d told him about Emily suddenly made sense. He’d supported others’ emotions for so long that he didn’t want to carry hers. She hadn’t once heard anyone at the hospital talk about his father having just died. She bet he’d never let on to anyone what he was going through. He’d just shared a part of himself that few saw. She was honored to be one of those people.
“You’re a good man, Ryan O’Doherty.” She would have hugged him but she didn’t think he would appreciate that much pity. He was also a proud man.
“Are you through?” a man with a wife and couple of kids standing nearby asked.
“Yes,” Ryan said, stepping away from the computer.
He took her hand again and she gave his a squeeze. She didn’t want him to close himself off like he’d done before.
As they walked toward the entrance, Ryan said, “We didn’t look up your family name.” He turned as if to go back.
She tugged on his hand. “We’ll do it next time.” Would there be a next time? It would be nice if there was. She was enjoying her day with Ryan.
They boarded the ferry that would take them back to Manhattan and found a spot inside, out of the late afternoon wind.
“Are you hungry?”
Lucy found to her surprise she was, in more ways than one. “I’m getting that way.”
“If we have another hot chocolate, will that hold you over for an hour or so?”
“I think I can survive that long.”
“Do you like Chinese?”
“I do.”
“Then Chinese it is.” He pulled out his phone and made a call before he left to order their hot drinks.
They said little as they sipped their hot chocolate. Lucy was surprised how quickly she’d become comfortable in Ryan’s presence. They had bonded in a way she’d never expected they would or could. After their first meeting she would have said it was impossible for them to find common ground.
“Look here,” Ryan said.
“What’s wrong?”
He leaned over and kissed her, his tongue lightly brushing her upper lip. It was quick and warm and, oh, so short.
When he pulled away she said, “Why did you do that? You could have told me and I would have used a napkin.”
His blue eyes danced with mischief. “If I’d done that I wouldn’t have gotten that last extra sweet taste of chocolate.”
“No, I guess you wouldn’t have.”
She was having fun. She looked into the eyes of the big, sensitive, caring and highly intelligent man beside her with the devilish sense of humor and knew she’d lost her ability to be rational about him. She had real feelings for the guy. It was an intoxicating while at the same time disturbing reality. Would there be more heartache in her future?
* * *
Ryan licked his lips as if getting every last drop of chocolate from them and grinned at her. “You have any more to share?”
“I do not.” She looked so indignant that he laughed. She grinned at him.
He couldn’t believe that he’d told Lucy so much about his father. He’d never confided to anyone outside his family and for the most part he’d not even done that. His father had been an intensely proud man and Ryan had been gifted with that same propensity, good or bad. It was an issue of pride for Ryan that he could handle his own problems. He’d never shared his innermost feelings with anyone before but Lucy made him feel secure enough to do so.
Why had he? He should feel naked and vulnerable now that she knew so much about him. Instead, relief had washed over him at being able to tell someone about the burden of loss and pain he carried. He found it rather liberating.
“Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask you where you learned to speak Spanish so well. I don’t think of Georgia as the go-to place.”
“I learned it from my father’s Mexican housekeeper at his home in LA. Alexis and I spent a lot of time with her. I just picked it up.”
He pulled her to him and smiled down at her. “And it came in handy a few times.”
“Just a few?” She smiled shyly back at him.
He wanted to kiss her, not a quick peck or a teasing brush but a real kiss right there in front of everybody. He brought her against him. His lips met her soft warm ones that tasted faintly of chocolate.
She grabbed his coat and pulled, going up on her toes. Her acceptance fed his desire. He requested admission with the end of his tongue, and she granted it. Entering, he found a heated cavern of pleasure. This was a kiss.
“Hey, buddy. Get a room,” someone called.
Lucy jerked away, but she still had handfuls of his coat. Her eyes were large and awestruck, her lips cherry red from his kiss.
“Was that a friendly kiss?”
He laughed. “The friendliest. Come on...” He took her hand.
“Where are we going?”
“My place.”
“I’m going to see those lights?”
“Yes.”
“Ryan, I don’t think—”
“I said fun and no pressure, remember? I keep my word.”
“That would be the O’Doherty way.”
“Yes, it would.”
* * *
Lucy was still reeling from Ryan’s kiss as she followed him out of the subway into the early evening air.
They had shared a real kiss. The kiss of a man who wanted a woman. Was she stepping into water over her head? If she was, would she sink so far under Ryan’s spell that she’d never come up?
They were in an area of small privately owned stores. People milled on the sidewalks in front of the stores. She’d never been to Brooklyn but she’d not expected to find the small-community feel within a large metropolis. Ryan’s stride changed, became more leisurely, as if he’d returned home.
“I live about a half a mile from here. Would you like to walk or should I call for a taxi?”
“Walking would be nice. I’d like to see where you grew up.”
As they strolled hand in hand Ryan spoke to a shop owner, introduced her to a former high school teacher and her husband. Others waved or called out to him. It was a community proud of their home-grown boy done well.
“You love living here, don’t you?”
“What’s not to love? And I’ve known nothing else.”
“Never thought of moving on up? The super-neurosurgeon who outgrew his roots?”
“No, here suits me just fine.”
And it did. What was it like to be that secure in those around you that you knew you belonged?
They walked down a small hill that had a line of new-looking condos that had not been constructed to look so modern that they didn’t blend with the rest of the buildings along the waterfront. At the one closest to the East River, Ryan stopped in front of a door stained a dark color. He fished in his pocket and pulled out keys.
“You live here?” Lucy made no effort to hide her amazement. “What a beautiful spot.” Across the East River was Lower Manhattan with all its enormous buildings, including those around Wall Street.
“Come on in,” Ryan said as he opened the door. “Our Chinese should be here soon. We’ll eat out on the deck.”
He led her straight through the living room, stopping long enough to flip on a light in the kitchen before they went out a glass door to a deck. It ran the length of the condo out the back and had a privacy fence separating him from his neighbor. There was a small table with two chairs and an oversized and wide lounge that faced the city.
“I think we timed it just right for dinner and a show.”
She put her hands on her hips and gave him a skeptical look. “So you’re sticking with that story?”
“I am.”
“We eat and then the light show begins.”
The doorbell buzzed. “That will be our supper.”
While Ryan was gone, Lucy looked across the river, watching the shadows begin to fall across the buildings and the orange of the western sky become the backdrop. Ryan had a lovely place to live.
He returned with two paper bags filled with wonderful-smelling food. “I thought we’d have a picnic. Eat out of the boxes. Share.” Going back inside, he brought out two glasses and a bottle of wine. With minimal effort he opened the bottle and poured them both drinks. He then pulled boxes and other items out of the sacks and placed them on the table. “Have a seat.”
She pulled out a chair and sat. “Is there a fork?”
“Fork! There are no forks with Chinese food.” He grinned at her as he picked up chopsticks covered in paper and handed them to her with a flair of a magician. “Have any experience?”
“A little.”
“I’ll help you.” He opened a box of rice, pushed it toward her and opened another for himself. A larger container with chicken and broccoli he placed between them. He stripped the paper off the chopsticks and manipulated them like a pro between his lean fingers. She shouldn’t have been surprised. The dexterity he used to do delicate brain surgery would lend itself to using chopsticks to eat.
She followed suit with the chopsticks but her ability was much more hit and miss than his. Ryan laughed when she must have looked like a snapping turtle going after a morsel before it fell back into the box.
“You’re going to starve at that rate and I’m going to look like a poor host. Let me help.” He scooted closer and offered her a bite on the end of his chopsticks.
She continued to make efforts of her own while he filled in between them. Over one offering she looked up and found him looking at her intently. It was heady to be the center of his attention. One who loved those he cared about so totally. She could be overwhelmed by his magnetism with little effort on his part.
Ryan looked away, breaking the moment, and dropped his chopsticks into an empty container. He stood and put out his hand. “Come on, we’re going to miss the show.”
She put her palm against his and stood. He led her to the lounger. Letting go of her hand, he settled into the chair and stretched out his long legs. “Join me.” He patted the space next to him.
The lounge should have been large enough for two but with Ryan’s size it seemed far too small. “There’s not enough room for both of us. I’ll just pull a chair over here.”
“I’ll make room.” He scooted over as if he planned to give her plenty of room. “The show’s much better from here.”
She sat alongside him. They touched from shoulder to foot. She pulled her coat closer around her. He picked up a blanket from beside the chair and spread it over their legs. “Lift your head.” She did so and he slid an arm behind her neck, resting his hand on her shoulder. He tucked her closer. “Relax.”
“I am relaxed.”
“No, you’re not. You’re as tight as a guitar string.”
She shifted and found a more comfortable position.
“You know, if you keep that up this may not remain just a light show between friends.”
She stiffened. What had she been thinking to agree to this?
Ryan chuckled. “I’m kidding. I’m not going to do anything that you don’t want me to.”
Hadn’t he kept his word so far? The problem was, she wanted him to do plenty. Settling next to him and clasping her hands in her lap, she looked at the horizon. The lights of the city began to flicker on. “Oh, this is amazing. I just saw the lights on the top of the Chrysler Building come on.”
“It’s beautiful.” He fingered the tail of her braid, which was lying against her arm.
“Thanks for sharing this with me. It’s everything you said it was.”
“You’re welcome.”
They continued to watch until the kaleidoscope of colors from the buildings reflected off the water. Could anything be more wonderful than being in Ryan’s arms and watching the sun set to a beautiful light show?
“Wow, this view is something. You must be in demand as a date for this alone.”
“So you think my sex appeal is location-related?” He spoke so close to her ear that his warm breath brushed her skin.
She kept her focus on the lights of the city. “I think you’re fishing for a compliment.”
“Maybe. I thought I told you that I don’t bring people home.”
“By people, do you mean women?”
“Yes. Women. You’re the only woman who has ever shared my view.”
She sat up and twisted around so she could look down at him. “Why?”
His fingers played with the end of her braid, which now fell over one breast. His look met hers. “Because,” he said, his voice low, “you’re the only one I’ve ever wanted to share it with.” Wrapping a hand around the mass of hair, he tugged gently, bringing her down to him. His hand cupped her head as he guided her mouth to his. His breath brushed her lips. “I’m going to kiss you. It won’t be a friendly kiss. If you don’t want this, you need to tell me to stop now.”
“The O’Doherty way? A gentleman always.” Her lips touched his.
He pulled her head closer, slanting his mouth and taking the kiss deeper. His tongue found the seam of her lips and demanded entrance. When she didn’t immediately open he pulled back and placed small searching kisses along her bottom lip. He shifted her until she lay along him. Her body followed the contours of his.
Did heaven feel like this?
When the bill of her cap hit him in the forehead she reached up and pulled it off.
He ran his hand down her braid. “I love your hair. You have no idea how many times I’ve wanted to touch it.”
She reached to remove the band. What little light there was spilled out from the kitchen.
“No, don’t. I want to be the one who sets it free.” His voice had gone low and gruff, creating tingles inside her.
Gently he removed the band from the end. He drew a finger between the sections of the braid, slowly releasing them as if he were opening a present he’d been eager to see for weeks. His sure, precise movements told of his skill as a surgeon. What she did to her hair every day he turned into a sensual experience.
“I know of no one who has hair as beautiful as yours.” He fanned his fingers out and ran them over her head, finishing the job. The waves fell about her shoulders and flowed around them. Filling his hands, Ryan watched in fascination as it spilled between his fingers. He brought a long lock to his cheek, sliding it across his skin.
His mouth returned to hers and this time when he asked, she opened. His tongue entered, savored, sipped and swirled, while his hands burrowed into her hair to hold her head.
She squirmed.
“Easy, honey. We have all night if you wish.” His tone was low and soothing but the tension in his body and the ridge below her hip said he was just as aroused as she was.
Her hands traveled up his chest and wrapped around his neck. Her mouth came down to his, then tugged on his bottom lip before she pressed her mouth firmly against his, letting him know just how much she desired him.
His hands spread her hair out along her back and moved to her waist. He ran a hand under her coat and lightly grazed the inch of bare skin separating her shirt from her pants.
She shivered.
He released her mouth and kissed his way across her cheek to nuzzle behind her ear. His hands glided over the hyper-sensitive skin of her back.
She moaned.
“You like that, do you?” He nuzzled her again while his hands pushed her shirt upwards. He released her bra, his fingertips grazing the under-curve of her breast.
She flinched at the shock of sensation that rocketed through her. His fingertips were prickling heat and softest torture as they trailed over her skin.
“Lift up, honey.”
“We can’t do this here?”
“Why not?” He hushed her opposition by bringing his mouth to hers and giving her another mind-altering kiss. “Are you cold?”
If he continued to kiss her like that, she’d do anything he wanted. She arched her back, allowing him to push her coat away. The movement brought her center into intimate contact with his rigid manhood.
Ryan O’Doherty wanted her. Her.
“Put your hands on my shoulders.”
She did so and he stripped her shirt and bra away. Before she could lower her arms his mouth found a nipple. His lips dropped away with infinite slowness. His actions and the cold air touching her sensitive tip caused her to shudder.
His low chuckle was one of pure male satisfaction.
She hadn’t recovered from the honeyed moment before Ryan showed the same mind-blowing attention to the other breast. His hands skimmed her waist then flowed leisurely upwards until his hands cupped both breasts. He lifted, and weighed them.
They’d changed while she’d carried Emily. Would he mind?
“Perfection,” he murmured, before he kissed the tip of each one again.
Not recovered from his devotion, she sucked in a swift breath when his hands skimmed downwards and dipped below the waist of her jeans while he left kisses across her breasts. She whimpered.
“More?”
“Mmm.” She sounded entirely too sensual even to her own ears. Ryan was making her feel more than she’d ever felt before and he’d done little more than kiss her.
She brought her hands down to his chest. He shifted so they lay facing each other and continued to fondle her breasts as if he found them extremely fascinating. She was grateful he couldn’t see them well. They weren’t as firm or high as they had been before Emily.
Her hand slid down to the edge of his sweater to play with the hem.
“You can touch me,” Ryan said before he nipped at her earlobe. “In fact, I wish you would,” he said as he found her mouth again.
She accepted his invitation and slid her hands under his pullover. It was warm there but his T-shirt still created a barrier. Touching skin was her goal.
Ryan must have heard her groan of frustration because he let go of her and pulled his jacket off and then his sweater. Jerked his shirt from his waistband. “I might lose my mind before you get up the nerve.”
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Susan Carlisle и Tina Beckett
Тип: электронная книга
Жанр: Современные любовные романы
Язык: на английском языке
Издательство: HarperCollins
Дата публикации: 16.04.2024
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О книге: Love always finds a way…Since making the ultimate emotional sacrifice, counsellor Lucy Edwards has heart on lockdown. Enter neurosurgeon Ryan O’Doherty, with piercing blue eyes and roguish charm…Dr Brad Davis knows that Nurse Chloe Jenkins is off limits. But when she shows up on his doorstep barefoot, seeking refuge, Brad is very tempted to break all the rules…Scarlet Miller is a force to be reckoned with. But A&E doc Lewis Jackson ties her heart up in knots! Suddenly this tough cookie nurse is wondering if she’s finally met her match…