Sons of Macha
Sons of Macha
John Lenahan
A Lord of the Rings for the 21st century. Only a lot shorter. And funnier. And completely different.A KINDLE BOOK OF THE YEAR 2013The thrilling final part of the Shadowmagic trilogy.When Conor returns to the Real World with Brendan and Ruby he tries to settle back into a normal life, but shortly after he arrives he is arrested for kidnapping a police officer. That police officer being Brendan.Accused by the FBI of being a terrorist, Conor tells his interrogator the truth: how he is really the heir to the throne of Tir Na Nog, a place where the trees can talk; that he has fought alongside imps and banshees against leprechauns and brownies; and that he is in love with a feisty young princess.Naturally, no one believes him, until that princess turns up to rescue him and take him back to Tir Na Nog. And when he gets there he finds he needs to team up with Essa, Araf and Taun for one final quest, a quest which will decide is ultimate destiny.Thrills and wisecracks abound in this fitting finale to the Shadowmagic series.
SONS OF MACHA
JOHN LENAHAN
Copyright (#ulink_844ce8ea-611f-51c4-bda6-411ddabbae19)
William Collins
An imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd.
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www.harpercollins.co.uk (http://www.harpercollins.co.uk)
This edition first published by The Friday Project 2013
Copyright © John Lenahan 2013
John Lenahan asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.
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Source ISBN: 9780007456741
Ebook Edition © March 2013 ISBN: 9780007517770
Version: 2017-09-12
For Tim and Sarah (Mel) Lenahan.
The only ones I still show off for.
Table of Contents
Title Page (#u4cc03513-bf65-5b25-b76c-ef6be6d6226a)
Copyright (#u5090b354-35a9-53c3-a7ba-cbda2c6615c2)
Dedication (#uc58c5d51-7aa0-5962-a114-a34769cc01e0)
Chapter One: Special Agent Murano (#u6f5f0b50-6e58-5307-8c9b-ef9c02a3ece9)
Chapter Two: Ruby (#u007ba26b-fc79-5d0d-9e17-6254a59c45ac)
Chapter Three: Macha (#u7021b959-aba9-5b08-a11e-80bc474d616e)
Chapter Four: The Oak (#u48075be1-ea0c-5044-8bb5-34e6235e6402)
Chapter Five: Graysea and Essa (#u10da5a14-a608-5be1-b5bf-05b32330da08)
Chapter Six: The Yew House (#u43de9ded-a0bc-5207-b08b-7249994e7170)
Chapter Seven: Diddo (#u4aa50b29-f491-517d-8616-2ceb6ddaf9f6)
Chapter Eight: Lugh (#u01ac6592-f8bf-57a6-a3b0-7d40924709bb)
Chapter Nine: Ona’s Book (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten: Nora (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven: Judgement (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve: The Hermit of Thunder Bay (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirteen: Captain Jesse (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fourteen: Ivy Lodge (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fifteen: Maeve (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Sixteen: The Worry Stone (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seventeen: Connemara (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eighteen: Connemara Maeve (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nineteen: Mícheál (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty: Eth (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-One: Master Eirnin (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Two: The Hive (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Three: The Choosing (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Four: War (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Five: Dumb Idea (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Six: King Bwika (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Seven: Prince Codna (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Eight: Fand (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Nine: The Grove (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirty: The Shadowrune (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirty-One: Nora (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirty-Two: The Twins of Macha (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirty-Three: Mother Oak (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirty-Four: A Wave (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirty-Five: Beginnings (#litres_trial_promo)
Keep Reading (#litres_trial_promo)
Acknowledgements (#litres_trial_promo)
About the Author (#litres_trial_promo)
By the Same Author (#litres_trial_promo)
About the Publisher (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter One (#ulink_16f0ec54-2a7e-5d08-8c38-204fb6ed1b5d)
Special Agent Murano (#ulink_16f0ec54-2a7e-5d08-8c38-204fb6ed1b5d)
He wasn’t a Scranton cop. I could tell that as soon as he walked in. The pressed suit and the newly cut hair made me suspicious but the Italian shoes were a dead giveaway.
‘Conor O’Neil?’ he said in a low voice that made me think he had been practising it in a mirror.
‘Hay-na,’ I replied using the local vernacular. His confused look confirmed that he was an out-of-towner. Not that I minded; the local police had been none too gentle with me. Understandable, considering they were certain that I killed my father, bombed their police station, hospitalised about two dozen of their fellow officers and kidnapped their favourite detective. So when a Scranton cop elbowed me in the ribs when no one was looking it was forgivable but not pleasant. This new guy was a relief. He looked like he played by the book – hell, he looked like he wrote the book.
‘My name is Special Agent Andrew Murano.’
‘You’re a Fed?’
He flashed his identification card emblazoned with a big ‘FBI’ across it.
‘Wow, what did I do to deserve the Eliot Ness treatment?’
‘Kidnapping is a federal crime.’
‘Well then you can go home, I didn’t kidnap anybody.’
‘That’s not what Detective Fallon tells us,’ the FBI man said, opening a folder on the table between us.
‘Well Detective Fallon can kiss my …’
‘You claim,’ Murano interrupted, ‘that you accidentally took Detective Fallon to a magical land where you rode dragons together.’
I winced. ‘Well, when you say it like that, it sounds a bit far fetched.’
‘No, not at all, Mr O’Neil. Do go on.’
I really didn’t want to. Telling a story as crazy as mine is kind of fun the first time around but after a while it loses its appeal. I’ve often heard that women hate it when men mentally undress them with their eyes – well, I had the opposite problem. Everyone I told my story to mentally dressed me in a straitjacket. But I recounted my tale once again, ’cause Brendan told me to tell the truth.
Brendan and I had arrived from Tir na Nog into the Real World not far from Brendan’s house. The portal connecting The Land to the Real World deposited us inside a small patch of trees exactly at the spot where Brendan’s mother said mystical ley-lines converged. Brendan had always considered that just another one of his mother’s hippy-trippy crazy ideas, but he was learning that many of her crazy ideas were turning out to be true. Detective Fallon and I were the only ones who made the trip. Essa was supposed to join us but she was still mad at me for the Graysea thing.
Brendan’s mother Nora was one of those older women who looked great even into her seventies. You could see by her face that she had all of her marbles (and then some) and her physique showed that she was still strong. Good thing too, ’cause the shock that Brendan and I gave her when we showed up to the front door on horseback would probably have killed a lesser senior citizen.
When his mother asked him where he had been, Brendan started by saying, ‘You’re not going to believe this.’ But only a couple of minutes into the story it was plain to see that she did. She had believed in Filis and Faeries and Brownies and Tir na Nog all of her life and tears came to her eyes as Brendan told her that the Queen of the Druids recognised him as one of their own.
Brendan’s daughter Ruby was at school. He wanted to go and get her but Nora convinced him that that was a bad idea. He was apparently a very famous missing person. There had even been a TV show recreating Mom and Nieve’s attack on the police station and Brendan’s picture had been on every TV, newspaper and Internet screen in the country. Showing up in a third-grade classroom, we decided, might cause a bit of a commotion.
We were sitting down to a nice cup of tea in the kitchen when Brendan saw something outside the window and said, ‘Oh my gods.’ He jumped up and took a big carving knife out of a wooden block on the counter and said ‘Take it!’
I did.
‘Now drop it.’
I didn’t have a clue what was going on. ‘What?’
‘I said drop it.’
He was so frantic I did what I was told.
Then he said, ‘Tell the truth – it’ll keep you out of a serious jail until I can figure things out.’
Before I even had time to say, ‘Huh?’ a zillion screaming cops barrelled in the front and back doors with guns drawn. Brendan hit me in the stomach, spun me around and dropped me to the ground with my arm twisted behind my back. ‘I’ve got him,’ he shouted. ‘He’s disarmed!’
I was cuffed, dragged to my feet by my hair, slammed against the wall and then tossed head first into a police wagon. All the while I kept hearing cops asking Brendan how he was. I saw Brendan’s mother on her porch as they were closing the doors of the van.
‘It was very nice to meet you, Mrs Fallon,’ I said.
Brendan was right. Telling the truth got me a room in a secure mental hospital where my daily interrogators alternated between cops who wanted to kill me and shrinks who wanted to understand me. I couldn’t decide which I liked better. Special Agent Murano was my first change in a couple of days.
I took a deep breath and told the story of how my dad was not dead. That he was alive and well in Tir na Nog, the mythical Irish Land of Eternal Youth, where I assisted him regaining the throne by helping him attach his missing hand and then chopping off my uncle’s hand.
Then I narrated the story of how, when I got back home, Detective Fallon arrested me for my father’s murder and how my mother and aunt busted me out of jail and how they took me back to The Land and how Detective Fallon got transported with us by accident and then we had to search all over The Land and had to fight a battle and ride a dragon so I could use its blood to save my father’s life. And now we are back again so Brendan can see his daughter and tell his mother that he is a Druid. I left out the mermaid stuff ’cause that just sounded kooky.
When I finished I had a long hard look at Special Agent Murano to see if I could figure out which group he was going to join. The group that thought I was crazy or the group that thought I was pretending to be crazy. Agent Andy was difficult to read. He clicked off his tape recorder and tilted his head towards the armed guard that was standing by the door.
‘Would you object, Conor, if we had a little conversation in private?’
‘Why?’
Agent Murano leaned in so close I could smell his heavy cologne. ‘I have a lot of experience with unusual events,’ he said in a conspiratorial whisper. ‘Let’s just say I would prefer to talk about your situation without prying eyes.’ Then he winked at me.
‘What, are you like an X-File guy?’
He smiled. ‘When we are alone.’
‘OK,’ I said.
The FBI man dismissed the guard and then lowered the Venetian blinds that were in front of what I assumed was a two-way mirror.
I started to get excited. When you tell a story as crazy as mine, to as many people as I had and none of them believe you – you start to doubt your sanity. Could it be that I had finally met someone who truly believed me?
‘Have you met people from The Land before?’
The agent shushed me, took off his jacket and covered the security camera that was mounted on the corner of the wall.
‘So you have a file on Tir na Nog, right?’
Once again he raised his finger in front of his lips, picked the intercom off the table and unplugged it. Then after looking around to see that no one or nothing could overhear us, he covertly gestured for me to come close. I stood and looked around myself. It was very cloak and dagger. I just got within striking distance of him when – that is exactly what he did – he struck. He slammed the intercom into my stomach just below my ribs. Whether he had been trained or had lots of practice in using office equipment to cause pain, I don’t know, but he was certainly good at it. Every molecule of air flew out of my body and the agonising spasms in my solar plexus made it so I was having a hard time replacing any of them. I was on the ground, doing a convincing impression of a fish out of water, when he bent down and slammed the intercom into my right shin.
I once heard that the only good thing about pain is that you can only experience it in one place – let me tell you now: that’s not true. Getting slammed in the shin just meant that I hurt from my chest to my toes. Then he slammed the damn thing into my head and I hurt all over. I tried to ask why but my breathing still wasn’t working and then I had a thought that terrified me so much I didn’t even care about the pain.
‘Did Cialtie send you?’ I said as loud as I could.
Apparently it wasn’t very loud at all because Agent Murano leaned over and said: ‘What did you say?’
‘Were you sent by my Uncle Cialtie to kill me?’
He grabbed me by my hair and dragged me back into a chair where he handcuffed my hands behind my back.
‘Still with the Faerieland stories. Do you want me to kick the crap out of you again?’
‘No,’ I answered honestly.
‘Then enough with the dragons and the Pixies.’
‘There are no Pixies in Tir na Nog.’
That line earned me a backhand across the face that made my vision swim for a second. ‘What do you want?’
‘I want you to knock it off with the insanity talk. The last four federal crimes I have investigated in this state have all gotten off with insanity pleas. My nickname in the office is The Shrink. I refuse to lose another case to the nuthouse.’
Relief washed over me; he was not an assassin hired by my uncle, he was a plain old ordinary Real World jerk. I smiled.
‘What, O’Neil, is so funny?’
‘The Shrink,’ I said laughing.
Murano flew into a rage, he re-hit me in the stomach and overturned the chair I was cuffed to, my head bounced off the floor and I thought I was going to throw up. I really didn’t want to get hit again but I couldn’t help it, I was still laughing.
‘OK, OK,’ I said, my face pressed against the linoleum. ‘What do you want me to do?’
The agent picked me off the floor – the cuffs cut in to my wrists. He put his face inches from mine. For a horrible second I thought he was going to kiss me. ‘You are going to confess to being a terrorist.’
‘What?’
‘You’re going to admit that you are a terrorist. You don’t have to name names. You can claim that you never met your masters but you kidnapped Detective Fallon because you hate your country.’
‘You’re crazy.’
‘Maybe I am,’ Murano said, ‘but I’m going to make sure you are not crazy.’
‘So let me get this straight – you are punching a man who is tied to a chair and I’m the terrorist?’
The crazy G-man tipped my chair over once again. This time I think I did black out for a short time. The next thing I remember there was drool on the floor and I finally had a pain in my head that hurt enough to block out all of the other pains in my body.
‘OK, OK, I said, ‘I’ll say anything you want. Let’s just try and keep my grey matter inside my skull.’
You know all that talk about how advanced interrogation techniques are no good because a tortured prisoner will tell you anything? Well, it’s all true. I talked about how Tir na Nog was really a code word for a bunch of anarchists that wanted to overthrow the United States of America and then the world. When I started to get too outlandish, Agent Murano shook his head until eventually I just let him write my confession. We started getting along so well I even persuaded him to get me a burger and a shake. Don’t get me wrong, I still loathed the man. Anyone who would use their power to beat a shackled insane person (I know I’m not really insane but he didn’t know that) is just below snakes – and that’s giving snakes a bad name. I was slurping at the last of my shake when Murano came in holding my ‘confession’.
I hesitated before signing. I had been called a lot of nasty things in my day. Once I had even been called ‘unfunny’ (can you believe that?). But ‘terrorist’ was not something I wanted people saying about me. I imagined that in prison hierarchy, a terrorist would be just a tiny step above a guy who cooks puppies for supper.
‘I don’t think I can sign this,’ I said.
‘You want we go through all this again, O’Neil?’ Agent Murano said, rubbing his knuckles.
‘Well the way I figure it, either I get a beating from you today or I get one every day from my white supremacist flag-loving cell-mate. Sorry, Andy, but I’m sticking with the fire-breathing dragon story.’
‘Sign it,’ the FBI man said as he stepped menacingly towards me.
‘No.’
‘SIGN IT!’
‘Sign what?’ Brendan said as he entered the room. The so-called kidnap victim was flanked by a local cop in uniform and an old, grey-haired lady that I at first thought was his mother. Brendan picked up my confession and scanned it. I kept staring at the wrinkled face of the old lady – something about her intrigued me.
‘So you’re a terrorist now?’ Brendan said to me.
‘Special Agent Murano thinks so.’
‘Did he coerce you?’
‘I’d say he counselled me,’ I replied. ‘Agent Andy is like a shrink.’
Murano bristled and pulled Fallon into the corner. I’m sure the special agent meant to whisper but he was worked up and not doing it very well. I could hear every word.
‘What do you care if I rough him up a bit? According to the report he had you locked up in a closet for a couple of months.’
‘It wasn’t that bad.’
‘Come on,’ Murano said, ‘you probably want to take a few pops yourself.’
‘I’m not sure his attorney would approve,’ Fallon said, pointing to the old woman.
‘No,’ the grey-haired woman said, ‘I’d be fine with that.’
At the sound of her voice all the hairs on the back of my neck stood straight out.
‘No you are not,’ Fallon said to her. ‘You were about to tell your client not to sign anything.’
‘My what?’
‘Your client, Mr O’Neil?’ Brendan said pointing to me. ‘You were about to tell him not to say or sign anything.’
‘Oh yes, I was.’ A look of confusion crossed her face – it was maddeningly familiar. ‘Yes, what Brendan said – do. Or don’t do.’
The old woman tilted her head down and with inordinate interest began inspecting the bulb on the desk lamp.
‘She was also about to say that she would like some time alone with her client.’ Brendan stared at the woman again. ‘Wasn’t she?’
The woman straightened up and hurriedly said, ‘Yes, I’d like to be alone with Master On-el.’
‘O’Neil,’ Brendan corrected.
‘Yes, Prin— Mr O’Neil.’
Agent Murano finally took notice of the woman. ‘Can I see some identification please?’
‘Some what?’
‘Identification.’
The old woman looked like she didn’t know what he was talking about. She looked over to Brendan and said, ‘Can we get on with this?’
‘Yeah,’ Brendan said with a sigh, ‘go for it.’
The woman reached up to her ears and pulled off the marble-sized gold earrings that were hanging from her lobes. She held the two shiny spheres in her palm and incanted under her breath. The gold balls glowed then rose from her palm and encircled each other like tiny binary stars.
The uniformed cop stepped in to get a better look but Murano backed up and said, ‘What the—’ He didn’t get to finish before the two balls shot through the air and exploded into the chests of the two officers. They were thrown against the wall in a shower of light. When I could see again it looked like they weren’t getting up any time soon.
Brendan went through the FBI man’s pockets for the handcuff key while the old woman checked on the health of the cop.
‘’Bout time you got here,’ I said to Brendan. ‘That Fed is a nutcase. It was only a matter of time before he dropped a starving rodent down my trousers.’
I stood up and went over to where the old woman was holding the policeman’s head. I leaned in and took a close-up look at the old woman.
‘Essa?’
She smiled – it wrinkled up her whole face. ‘Miss me?’
Chapter Two (#ulink_4139a161-dabf-5181-9a0a-bd83854e17fd)
Ruby (#ulink_4139a161-dabf-5181-9a0a-bd83854e17fd)
‘Essa, you’re so …’
‘I’m so what?’ she said in a tone that sent warning bells exploding in my brain. ‘How do I look, Conor? Tell me.’
‘Well, you look …’
‘If you say “wrinkled” I’m going to chain you back to that chair. For you, I got off my horse and set foot on the ground in the Real World. Because you and Brendan don’t know how to hide, I am what an eighty-year-old woman looks like in this gods forsaken land. So once again, how do I look?’
‘I was just about to say that you don’t look a day over seventy.’
‘Can we get out of here please,’ Brendan said, ‘I’ve just assaulted a federal agent. I’d like to be gone before that appears on my permanent record.’
Essa opened her briefcase and took out a jar of Vaseline.
‘Are we going to slide out of here?’
Essa didn’t even bother with a dirty look.
‘Oak tree sap,’ Brendan said. ‘It was my mother’s idea to put it in a Vaseline jar to get it past security.’
Essa smeared the sap in a circle on the windowless wall. Then she placed her hand on the sticky circle and incanted. When she removed her hand a gold handprint glowed in the brown circle. She straightened up, groaned and rubbed her back.
‘Ready to leave?’
‘I sure am, grandma.’ That got me a dirty look.
She shouted a single word that sounded like a sneeze and the circle silently blew out of the wall. Daylight poured in among the dust and I could see parked cars through what moments earlier had been a wall.
Brendan crouched down and pointed. ‘We have to get past that gate. My car is parked on the other side.’
I walked over to the unconscious Agent Murano. He was starting to come round and if I was honest, I’d have to admit that I was toying with the idea of kicking him in the ribs so he would have something to remember me by. That’s when I saw it. Brendan had emptied the FBI man’s pockets looking for the handcuff key. In a pile on the floor, was scattered change and car keys attached to a keychain that said Porsche.
‘I’ve got a better idea.’
In the parking lot I pressed the fob attached to the keychain and lights on Agent Andy’s white sports car blinked. It was almost like his car was saying ‘Steal me.’ The car, like the special agent’s shoes, was meticulously cleaned and waxed. It wasn’t new but he tried to make it look like it was – right up to the new-car smell air freshener. It was obvious that my torturer loved this vehicle and I was looking forward to smashing it through the front gate. I didn’t get a chance. Brendan wouldn’t let me behind the wheel. He pointed out that he’d been trained in high-speed driving and I had only been driving for a year. I wouldn’t have gotten to smash it into the gate anyway because it was open. We zoomed past a surprised (and soon-to-be unemployed) guard without even a scratch.
It was a tight fit in the car. I got stuffed in to the back and we broke all Pennsylvania speeding laws. After my incarceration I needed some air, so I reached into the front and pulled the latch for the convertible top. The wind took the roof and ripped it right off the car.
‘Oops,’ I said with a smile worthy of Fergal.
‘Yeeha!’ Essa whooped.
I laughed and shouted over the sound of the rushing wind, ‘Where did you learn to do that?’
‘Isn’t that what you and Fergal used to do when you were excited?’ Essa said, her grey hair swirling around the car.
‘It is – well remembered.’
Brendan was tearing around the back country road at an alarming speed. I would have thought that Essa would be terrified but she loved it.
‘This is like being on dragon-back,’ she shouted. ‘Can everybody go around in contraptions like this?’
‘If they go this fast they get in trouble from the police,’ Brendan answered.
‘But it’s OK because you are police – right?’
‘Not any more,’ Brendan said, ‘I handed in my badge the instant the FBI man hit the wall.’
Brendan slowed a little bit as we turned onto the narrow roads that led to his house. At last we skidded around a corner and saw Brendan’s mother and daughter waiting for us at the exact place where Brendan and I had arrived from Tir na Nog a week earlier.
It was the first time I had ever seen Brendan’s daughter. She stood there in a purple tie-dye tee-shirt, a small pack on her back, a white stick in her hand and classic full-sized Ray-Ban sunglasses that took over her whole face.
Essa quickly busied herself opening the portal. Brendan’s mother, Nora, said, ‘It is very nice to see you again, Conor. Are you OK?’
‘I’m fine, Mrs Fallon.’
I crouched down and addressed Ruby. ‘And you must be Brendan’s little Gem?’
Ruby straightened up and said, ‘Only Daddy can call me Gem.’
‘Oh, sorry. It is very nice to meet you, Miss Fallon.’
She shot her hand straight out in front of her. ‘It is nice to meet you, Mr O’Neil.’
We shook. ‘Call me Conor, Mr O’Neil is my dad. Can I call you Ruby?’
‘You can call me Miss Fallon.’
‘That’s my Gem,’ Brendan said smiling.
‘Well, Miss Fallon, I like your shades.’
Ruby adjusted the huge sunglasses. ‘If they’re good enough for Ray Charles,’ she said, ‘then they’re good enough for me.’
‘Indubitably,’ I agreed.
The sound of distant sirens pulled my attention away from the undersized child in the oversized sunglasses. Essa had started the portal to Tir na Nog – there was an outline hanging in the air but it didn’t look like anything I wanted to step into.
‘Pick up the pace, old lady,’ I said. ‘We’ll soon have company.’
‘You want to do this, Duir Boy?’ she grumbled. ‘Stepping through an unstable portal is almost as dangerous as calling me “old lady”.’
‘Seriously,’ Brendan said. There was concern in his voice. ‘How long?’
‘It could be soon if you would allow me to concentrate.’
Brendan and I left her alone. The noise of the approaching sirens meant the cops were almost there.
‘We’ve got a problem,’ Brendan said.
‘You think?’
‘Essa wields our only non-lethal weapon and she’s busy opening the magic thingy.’
‘You missing your bow and arrows?’
‘If the cops get here before she finishes they’ll shoot you.’
‘Me?’ I said. ‘What about you? How about when they get here, I tell them that this is all your fault, ’cause now that I think about it – it is.’
‘I’ve got an idea of how to slow them down,’ Brendan said, ‘if Ruby is game.’
For the record I thought it was a dreadful idea. And it certainly made it so I can never return to the Real World. When the two cop cars screeched to a halt in the gravel road, Brendan and his mother stood in front of me frantically waving their hands. Three policemen and Special Agent Murano all got out – guns drawn.
‘Don’t shoot,’ Brendan shouted. ‘He’s got my daughter.’
What the cops saw was me holding a knife to little Ruby’s throat. Actually it was the nail file from Brendan’s Swiss army knife but hopefully none of the cops’ eyesight was good enough to notice that.
‘Stand back coppers,’ I said in my best Jimmy Cagney voice, ‘or I’ll let the girl have it.’
That was Ruby’s cue to let loose what her father called one of her ‘migraine screams’. Despite the name, I was unprepared for the ear bleeding, high-pitched volume of the screech. I almost dropped the knife and I’m sure that every dog in a five-mile radius ran underneath a sofa.
‘Ow,’ I said.
Brendan turned around and whispered, ‘Told you so.’
‘Take it easy, O’Neil,’ one of the policemen shouted.
‘I don’t want to talk to you. I want to talk to The Shrink.’
‘OK, O’Neil, we’ll get you a psychologist,’ the cop replied. ‘It’s just going to take a little time.’
‘I don’t want to talk to a psychologist, I want to talk to THE SHRINK aka Agent Andy. Didn’t you guys know? That’s what they call him at FBI central.’
‘Don’t hurt the girl, O’Neil,’ Murano shouted.
Ruby let loose another one of her sonic screams that made us all tilt our head a bit until it was over. I was surprised that the lenses in her Ray-Bans didn’t shatter.
‘This is your fault, Shrink,’ I shouted. ‘I was a mild-mannered fantasist before you tied me to a chair and tortured me. You turned me into a child killer.’ I gave Ruby a shake for effect and she bit my arm. It really hurt. I lowered the knife and I saw the cops levelling their guns.
Brendan stepped in front fast and said, ‘Don’t shoot,’ while I repositioned the nail file. I whispered to Ruby, ‘What you bite me for?’
She whispered, ‘I’m trying to make it look good.’
‘Well, ow,’ I said and then got back to work on the FBI man. ‘So is attacking a shackled man in the FBI interrogation book?’
‘I never …’
‘Don’t make me do it,’ I shouted. ‘You know what you did. You tortured me and wrote out a fake confession.’
I was stalling for time but I also wanted Murano to feel a little bit guilty about all this. I’m sure in his mind he now felt exonerated about how he treated me. After all, I wasn’t being very chivalrous – I had a knife to the throat of a young blind girl – but I hoped that someone would investigate his actions and get him busted to airport bathroom security.
‘Almost there,’ Essa shouted.
‘Thank the gods,’ I said.
‘O’Neil,’ Murano said, ‘what is the old woman doing?’
The familiar ring of an active portal reached my ears as Essa said, ‘Who you calling old?’
Mom, Dad and Nieve burst through the portal on horseback. Mom threw two of her Shadowmagic exploding light bombs at the two cops on the left and Dad and Nieve threw what looked like small knives at the other cop and the FBI man. The knives swerved directly into the chests of the cop and Agent Murano.
While Mom’s victims were blown off their feet, the cop and the FBI man just looked at the knives sticking out of their chests and fell over backwards.
‘Hi, son,’ Dad said casually as he rode over to Murano.
‘You didn’t have to kill them!’ Brendan shouted as he ran to the FBI man and reached for the knife sticking out of his chest.
Dad stopped him. ‘It’s not a knife.’
‘I can … I can’t move,’ the Fed said.
‘It’s a knife handle but no blade,’ Dad explained, ‘instead of a blade it has one of Nieve’s paralysing pins in it. Pull it out.’ Brendan pulled the knife blade out of the FBI man’s chest and looked at the gold pin.
‘Cool,’ Brendan said and handed it to me.
Murano sat up and felt his chest. ‘I can mo—’
I stuck the pin/knife back in his chest and he fell over like a stuffed teddy bear.
Nieve rode over and while hanging dangerously low to the side of her saddle, gave Brendan a long kiss. When it seemed like it would never stop, Brendan’s mother gave a discreet cough. Brendan looked up to see his mother staring at him with her arms crossed.
‘Oh yeah. Um, Mom, Gem, this is my … friend, Nieve. Nieve, this is my mother Nora and my daughter Ruby.’
Nieve replied, ‘It is very nice to meet you, I’ve heard so much about you both.’
‘We’ll have plenty of time for niceties once we are back in The Land,’ Mom said, riding by. ‘Let us leave this place.’
Brendan turned to his mother and daughter. ‘Are you sure you want to do this? You might not ever get to come back.’
‘We have already discussed this,’ Nora said. ‘What you did today was right and I am proud of you but your actions mean you can no longer stay here.’
‘We want to be with you, Daddy,’ Ruby said taking her father’s hand. His mother took the other and the three of them walked through the portal.
Mom was next. I asked her to relay a message to Tuan for me when she got back to Tir na Nog then I cuffed the cop with his own handcuffs and hog-tied the FBI man with his belt. I took back the paralysing throwing pins and made sure that Murano could see both the portal and his car. The Fed was obviously very shook up and when he finally could find his voice he asked, ‘Who are you people?’
‘We’re Faeries from Pixieland and you, Agent Andy, are a jerk, but you were right about one thing – I’m not crazy. I really did ride a dragon and to prove it to you …’ I grabbed his hair and turned his head towards the portal. Tuan in all of his dragon splendour popped his head through and Agent Andy gasped.
‘I was thinking about having him eat you,’ I said as I walked over and gave Tuan a rub on the snout, ‘but then I had a better idea.’
I whispered into Tuan’s earhole and stepped back. He gave a shrug that meant, ‘If that’s what you want’, and puffed a perfect little ball of fire directly at Agent Murano’s precious Porsche. The car exploded and as the radiator ruptured it gave out a little squeal like a dying mouse. The look on Murano’s face almost made this whole debacle seem worthwhile.
Chapter Three (#ulink_40a6038f-9852-530c-b8da-5c5c7717eedf)
Macha (#ulink_40a6038f-9852-530c-b8da-5c5c7717eedf)
Ruby stood in the centre of the Hall of Spells. She tilted her head and spun, dragging her stick on the tiles that represented all of the major runes. ‘We’re not in Scranton any more.’
‘How can you tell that?’ I asked.
‘I’m blind, not stupid.’
‘Ruby!’ her father and grandmother shouted simultaneously.
The young girl shrugged, turned to me and said sorry, but it didn’t seem like her heart was in it. I laughed.
‘Don’t encourage her,’ Brendan said. ‘We are working on Ruby’s rudeness.’
‘Well,’ I said, ‘it sounds like frankness to me. If I need an honest opinion I will know who to ask.’
‘See?’ Ruby said to her father.
‘Ruby’s opinions tend to be too honest.’
I looked up to see Mom and Dad standing waiting for our discussion to end. I cleared my throat and pointed to Brendan’s mother and daughter.
‘Nora and Ruby, may I present to you Lord Oisin of Duir and Princess Deirdre of Cull – my mom and dad.’
Nora bowed then whispered to Ruby who bowed too. As she did, Ruby’s huge sunglasses dropped from her face. Her eyes were dark blue and seemingly unharmed but scars were still visible high on her cheeks where the shards of glass had entered her face and ruined her optic nerve.
Mom stepped up and took Brendan’s mother by the shoulders. ‘It is I who should be bowing to you,’ she said with a nod of the head. ‘You risked your lives today in aid of my son.’
‘I would hardly say our lives were at risk, Your Highness,’ Nora said.
‘You went toe to toe with the FBI and the Scranton cops,’ Dad piped in, ‘I’d say you were risking something. Welcome to Castle Duir. This is our home and for as long as we live here, it is your home as well.’
I leaned in to Nora and whispered, ‘And people live a long time around here.’
‘Daddy promised me a huge bedroom,’ Ruby announced. ‘I’d like to see it now.’
‘Ruby,’ Nora and Brendan again admonished in unison, but Mom, Dad and Nieve just laughed.
‘Of course,’ Mom said. ‘You must be tired. Let me show you to your rooms.’
As Mom and Nieve escorted the Fallons to the west wing, I looked about for Essa and Tuan but they had left.
‘I think she is off with Tuan getting a dragon blood youth tonic,’ Dad said.
‘Who?’ I said nonchalantly.
‘Who?’ Dad scoffed. ‘Essa, the princess that you are looking for.’
‘Who said I was looking for Essa?’
‘Oh, my mistake,’ Dad said sarcastically, ‘maybe you were looking for Graysea? By the way, how are the princess and the mermaid getting along?’
‘You’re enjoying this, aren’t you Dad?’
‘Oh yes,’ Dad said over his shoulder as he ran to catch up with Mom.
Dad came into my room as I was practising my knife throwing. He gingerly pulled the dagger from the wall and inspected the woodwork. ‘Don’t do that.’
‘Mom and Aein told me that you used to do it.’
‘Yes and I got in trouble with my father for it too. I’ll get you a dart board or something. Just go easy on the walls. It probably took an elf fifty years to carve this little section.’
‘OK,’ I said, ‘sorry.’
Dad laid the knife across his palm, feeling its balance. ‘You’re not using one of Dahy’s gold-tipped specials?’
‘No, it’s too easy. Also I don’t like seeing the way the knife swerves in the air. It … it reminds me of how Spideog died.’
‘Oh, of course,’ he said, handing me back the knife, ‘I was sorry to hear about that. You really liked him, didn’t you?’
‘Yeah, I did. You didn’t though, did you?’
‘Oh, I wouldn’t say I didn’t like Spideog, it was just … well, now that I think about it, I really didn’t know him very well. You have to realise that I was Dahy’s student from a young age so I just took my master’s side. I never really knew what those two guys were feuding over until you told me. It makes sense now. Dad never talked about my mother much. Most of the things I know about her are from what Dahy told me.’
‘Don’t you remember Macha at all?’
‘Oh, I have a memory of smiling eyes, but maybe it’s just a false memory that my child mind conjured up while looking at her portrait.’
‘Is there a picture of her in the castle?’
‘Sure – in the north wing.’
‘Can we go see it?’
‘Now?’
‘Why not?’
We walked through the castle together. Jeez, I thought the bowing and scraping was bad with me but for Dad it was just short of grovelling. He didn’t try to discourage it. It was the way I was dealing with it too. You just can’t spend all day saying ‘Stop that.’
Even though Dad looked like my fraternal twin he was starting to regain the grown-up manner that I remembered. When he first regained his youth by drinking Tuan’s dragon blood he acted exactly as he looked – like a teenager. He still drags Mom giggling into private corners of the castle but he doesn’t do it all the time and he has stopped challenging me to wrestling matches.
‘So how’s the kinging going?’ I asked as we walked.
‘To be honest, it’s a lot of paperwork,’ he said. ‘All of the kingdoms are kicking up a fuss about the volatility in Duir and especially how unreliable the gold stipends have been. Mom’s been a huge help. She has been holding them off while I was … resting – but now everybody is looking for stability. I’d like a little stability myself but I think pretty soon my brother is going to do some serious destabilising.’
‘He told me he wants the throne.’
‘Not surprising. Once a guy like Cialtie gets a taste of power – it’s hard to let it go.’
‘I don’t think it’s that,’ I said. ‘I mean it’s not just that. He told me that if he became king he would be safe.’
‘I wonder where he got that idea.’
‘Ona’s book.’
That stopped Dad in his tracks. ‘What book?’
‘Cialtie showed me a book that he found in Ona’s bedroom the day he killed her.’
‘He told you that?’
‘Yeah, but he wasn’t bragging. He really believes that he can do nothing except what she wrote in that book.’
Dad started walking again. ‘And she wrote that he would be safe if he was king?’ When he spoke it was more like it was to himself than me. ‘If he had just told me that, maybe I would have renounced the throne … but I did renounce the throne. He had the throne. Why did he insist on trying to blow things up?’
‘He told me that he wanted to free The Land of Ona’s prophetic chains.’
Dad snorted with derision. ‘Freeing The Land by destroying it – typical Cialtie.’
We rounded a corner and entered the north wing’s portrait gallery. Pictures lined the walls stretching into what seemed like infinity. That’s the funky thing about living in a huge castle. You think you have explored every nook and cranny and then you come across an amazing place you have never seen before.
‘Wow,’ I said, ‘Who are all these people?’
‘These are portraits of all of the major and minor rune holders in The Land, and all holders of a yew wand.’ Dad pointed far into the distance. ‘Your grandmother is over here with the House of Nuin.’
As we walked I asked, ‘Can I get one of these?’
‘I’d love to have a picture of you if you would ever hold still long enough to sit for one, but I can’t hang it in the north hall until you have taken your choosing. I don’t have a portrait yet either. Tell you what, after your choosing we should get our pictures painted together.’
‘OK,’ I said, but didn’t relish the idea of having to have to sit still for hours while Dad bestowed his pearls of wisdom.
I spotted the portrait of Macha before Dad pointed it out to me. She had amber hair like Nieve and Dad’s long face but her eyes weren’t dark like her children’s. Her eyes were clear blue – like mine. She was portrayed sitting astride a black horse holding the reins with one hand and her yew wand in the other. Behind her was a hawthorn in full bloom.
‘She’s definitely your mother,’ I said.
‘Yes,’ he said dreamily like he was lost in the picture.
‘You once told me she went on a sorceress’s quest and never returned.’
‘That is what my father told me but I had a talk with Dahy recently and he says one day – she just vanished.’
‘You talked to Dahy about her?’
‘How could I not? That’s all he wants to speak about since you came back from Mount Cas with that knife.’
I smiled at the memory of the helpful message that had been hidden inside the gold-tipped knife and thrown at us on that mountain pass. ‘He thinks Macha is up there with the Oracle?’
‘He does,’ Dad said.
‘But you don’t?’
‘Actually I’m starting to think that Dahy and Spideog are right. Well, maybe not right but that knife of yours and the message you found with it raises enough doubts in my head to make me think we should find out for sure.’
‘Wait,’ I said, ‘we’re gonna storm the Oracle’s Yew House?’
He didn’t answer at first. He just kept looking at the picture of his mother and then, as if he was making the decision right there on the spot, he said, ‘Yes.’
‘How? That guy is seriously bad ass. He took out Spideog with a flick of the wrist. And I have no doubt he could drop half of that mountain on your head if he wanted to.’
‘Dahy thinks it can be done. There is planning to do. I’ll keep you posted.’
Dad ruffled my hair in a way that he knew really annoyed me and rushed off for a meeting with some runelord who I’m sure had a good reason why he needed more gold in his stipend. I was left alone under the dark stare of yet another grandparent I never knew. As much as I didn’t want to face the Oracle guy on Mount Cas again – I sure wanted to meet my grandmother. Well, if anybody could come up with a working plan of attack, it was Dahy.
I arrived back in my chamber to find Ruby waiting for me. She sat almost swallowed by an overstuffed chair, her feet sticking straight out, her stick folded across her lap. I don’t know if it’s the huge sunglasses or just her general demeanour but every time I saw this kid I got the distinct feeling that I was in trouble.
‘Where have you been?’
I was a bit shocked by the abruptness of the question and when I didn’t answer right away, Ruby said, ‘You were probably smooching with your mermaid girlfriend.’
‘I was not,’ I said and sounded to myself like I was ten years old. ‘I was in a meeting with the king.’ I thought that sounded better than ‘I was with my daddy.’
She seemed to find that acceptable.
‘How do you know about Graysea?’
‘My father brought her to me to have a look at my eyes. She cooed and ooed and cried and kissed me. She’s not very clever, is she?’
‘Graysea has other talents,’ I said.
‘Yeah right. Well, she said she couldn’t fix my eyes. That I had waited too long.’
‘Oh, I’m … I’m sorry.’
‘It’s nothing I haven’t heard before,’ Ruby said dismissively as she stood. ‘Now, I would like my pony.’
‘I beg your pardon?’
‘My pony. Father said I would have a pony when I came to Tir na Nog. When I asked him about it he said he had to talk to you. Since he hasn’t yet, I am. I’d like my pony please.’
‘I … I don’t know where I’d get a pony at this time of day.’
‘I would assume,’ Ruby said as she opened the door for me, ‘that we will find one in the stables.’ She motioned me out of my room like it was hers. I started to protest but then just decided that getting her a pony was probably the path of least resistance.
‘I feel sorry for your future husband,’ I said.
‘Funny, that’s what Father says.’
Ruby grabbed my arm and then swung her stick back and forth as she walked so fast I thought we were going to break into a jog.
‘You know, Ruby,’ I said, ‘I’m not sure if I can get you a pony.’
‘Why not?’ she asked without slowing down in the slightest.
‘I don’t think they’re just going to give me one.’
‘Your father is the king – right?
‘Yes but …’
‘And you are a prince?’
‘Well, yeah.’
‘So just ask for a pony. What is your problem?’
The stable master saw us coming and greeted me at the entrance. He was an old one. It had gotten to the point where I could spot one from a mile away. ‘I am Pilib,’ he said without bowing or even offering to shake my hand.
‘Hi, I’m Conor.’
‘I know,’ he said. ‘You have your grandmother’s eyes.’
‘Oh, did you know Macha?’
‘Of course, she held the Capall yew wand. She had the supremacy over horses. When she lived in Duir she was only ever truly happy when she was here.’
As he spoke Pilib’s eyes glossed over lost in the memory. I remembered Spideog telling me that my grandmother loved him and Dahy at the same time. I wondered if I should add the stable master to that list.
Ruby hit me in the shin with her stick. ‘Ask him.’
‘Ah … Master Pilib, I was wondering if I could have a pony.’
‘Certainly. Am I safe to assume that it is for this little lady?’
‘I’m not a lady, I’m a young girl.’
I looked down at Ruby, astonished. ‘You speak Ancient Gaelic?’
‘Grandma taught me some words.’
‘OK,’ I said turning back to Pilib. ‘Can we get this young girl a young-girl-sized pony?’
‘Right this way, Prince Conor.’
The stables were quite an operation here at Castle Duir. He led us past what must have been a hundred stalls and then outside to a paddock that contained four ponies.
‘Spirited or docile?’ Pilib asked.
I toyed with the idea of answering, ‘Super spirited.’ That would teach her a lesson for putting me through this but I had to remember that no matter how bossy she was – the kid was blind. ‘Docile please.’
Pilib placed his fingers in his mouth and emitted a series of whistles. The ponies looked up and then at each other as if saying, ‘Who, me?’ The smallest of the ponies slowly walked over to us. She was glossy black, just like Ruby’s sunglasses. I picked Ruby up and placed her feet on the bottom wooden rail of the corral so she could reach over. The stable master whistled again, this time quietly without the fingers in the mouth and then pointed to the young girl. The pony walked slowly up to Ruby as I guided her hand to the animal’s snout.
‘This is Feochadán,’ Pilib said.
I remembered a story my father used to tell me when I was young about a sheep that got covered with feochadán. As Ruby tentatively stroked her pony’s nose I said, ‘It means thistle.’
A huge smile crossed Ruby’s face. It was the first smile I had ever seen on that face and it changed her from a bossy tyrant to the young girl that she was. ‘Thistle, that’s a lovely name for a pony. Hello Thistle.’
That pony looked up and I could have sworn it recognised its new name. A stable hand showed up with a saddle.
‘Oh no, I’m not teaching her to ride.’
‘On the day a young girl receives her first pony,’ Pilib said, ‘surely she must ride it. I wouldn’t worry, Feochadán is very easy to ride. Shall I get Acorn for you, Your Highness?’
Acorn, I thought, I did so want to see Acorn and it was a beautiful spring day. Well, I could see no harm in having a quick wander around Castle Duir.
Ruby allowed herself to be hoisted onto Thistle without any of her usual I can do it myself fuss. Acorn was brought to me and even though he tried to hide it, I could tell he was pleased to see me. I mounted up and we left through the stable exit. True to Pilib’s word, Thistle was the calmest mount I had ever seen. Ruby showed no signs of being scared. She sat on her pony like she had been doing it all of her life.
Outside the castle walls the sun from a cloudless sky stopped the cool spring breeze from being too cold.
‘I would like to talk to a tree,’ Ruby said.
‘You want to talk to a tree?’
‘Yes, now. Father said I would have a big bedroom, a pony and I would get to talk to a tree. I’d like to talk to a tree now.’
‘Wouldn’t you like to just ride for a bit and save some of the other stuff for later?’
‘No.’
The best tree to have a conversation with is, of course, Mother Oak but Glen Duir is almost a day away at a hard ride. With Thistle it would probably take a month. Well, Duir doesn’t mean oak for nothing. Castle Duir was certainly surrounded by oaks – so I just started for the nearest treeline.
When I got to the edge of the oak forest I had some misgivings. These trees didn’t have the same welcoming feel that Mother Oak has – but then what tree does? I dismounted and walked up to a huge snarly barked oak and wrapped my arms around it. Instantly I knew I was in big trouble.
Chapter Four (#ulink_282ed06a-4760-51c7-8b1e-3053d05fb491)
The Oak (#ulink_282ed06a-4760-51c7-8b1e-3053d05fb491)
This was different from any tree I had ever communicated with. When I touched it I knew instantly that I wouldn’t be able to let go until it released me. The world disappeared. All of my senses were lost except for the touch of where I was held to the bark. This tree didn’t talk, it probed my mind. What it found it brought to the fore and what it found was stuff that I had buried for a reason.
I was in grade school and all of the kids were bullying Jimmy Murphy. Jimmy was overweight and crap at sports. I just stood there. I should have done something but I just stood there. I liked Jimmy but I just couldn’t be seen being his friend. Then the memory I had long tried to forget. He came to me for help and I pushed him over. Aw Jimmy, I’m so sorry.
Then my mind conjured up the image of a Banshee growing up with his family. I saw his entire life, right up to the moment when I stabbed him at the edge of the Reedlands. He was the first man I had ever killed. As my sword pierced his chest I could see everyone he had ever known and loved watching me with eyes filled with hate. I tried to protest, I tried to say that I didn’t mean to kill him. That he was trying to kill me. But the words wouldn’t come. My mind was not my own. I felt a pain rise in my chest.
That Banshee was replaced by another. This one I knew. This one I loved. I was lying on my sleeping roll the night before we snuck into Castle Duir. Don’t make me watch this, I tried to scream. I tried to pull away but my hands, like they were latched onto a high-voltage wire, wouldn’t let go. I remember that night. He came to talk to me but I was too tired and I sent him away, but as this memory progressed, instead of sending him away, I sat up and said, ‘What’s on your mind, cuz?’
He told me about his plans to kill Cialtie. I told him he was nuts and talked him out of it. After Cialtie was kicked out of Castle Duir – Fergal lived. We talked and drank. He met a lovely girl and I was his best man at the wedding. At the wedding reception he stood and tapped his wineglass with a spoon. He turned to me and said, ‘I’d like to propose a toast to the man who saved my life …’ The memories abruptly ran in reverse and then the scene in the camp played as it really happened. I fobbed Fergal off and then I watched as the next day Cialtie humiliated and killed him. Then I saw it again … and again … and again. The pain in my chest intensified. My head felt like it was going to explode. I watched again as the sword pierced his chest. I watched but this time the man who was wielding the sword – was me.
I screamed.
I was lost. Down so dark a well that I couldn’t see the top. The walls of the well weren’t made of stone or dirt, they were made of … me. I was lost deep in my own mind. Deeper even than after the shock of killing the Banshee at the edge of the Fililands. But it was safe down there. Up there was The Tree. The Tree that grew its roots into my memories and plucked out of them everything I had ever regretted and feared. I was safe down here. I had to shut down; I couldn’t let him into the brain cells that contained the faces of the scores of Banshees and Brownies I had killed during the battle of the Hall of Knowledge. I wouldn’t survive that. Protests, like I had no choice and We were at war, cut no mustard with the oak. I couldn’t let him in there – I was safe in my well. I wasn’t ever coming up. I was safe in my well I was never coming up. I was …
The walls of my well, the walls of my self, my refuge, started to shake. A far-off voice called my name but they would never find me. I was deep, deep in my …
The voice became louder but still it was tiny, tinny, miles away. I could never be harmed … would never let him …
The walls of my sub-subconscious shook more. The voice … I heard the voice. It was … it was … Ruby. I laughed. You’ll never find me down here, Ruby. I’m safe. Safe from the forest of trees … I’m safe. But then I heard her scream. It was that high-pitched piercing scream that she does. The one her father calls The Migraine Scream. I forced myself to think. Where are you, Ruby? It doesn’t matter I am here and I … I am safe. But where are you Ruby? You were with me. I took you riding. You are alone and blind in the Forest of Duir. But I’m safe here. But little Ruby you are not. I must … safe. Safe here. Safe. No. Save. Save her. I must save her.
I reached to the walls of the well. No. I forced myself to think. Not a well – the walls of my mind. I placed my back against a corner of my brain and I climbed. I climbed. I climbed to the sound of that scream. I still couldn’t see anything but the further I went, the closer the sound became. It got so loud it hurt.
I opened my eyes to see Ruby taking another big breath in preparation for another scream. I reached up to stop her but my arm was blocked by a white bed sheet. As she screamed again I freed my hand and caught her by the arm.
‘Ruby,’ I said.
She stopped, smiled and then started hopping around. ‘You see,’ she almost sang, ‘it worked. It worked. I told you it would work.’
I was very confused. I was indoors and in a clean bed. All around me people were rushing into the room. Presumably to see what all the screaming was about. I looked to my left and saw Dad chuckling.
‘Dad? What happened?’
‘I’ve been waiting three days to ask you that,’ he answered.
‘Why was Ruby screaming?’
‘I have no idea,’ he said. ‘She has been waiting by your side for most of the three days that you’ve been in this coma. Just a minute ago she said to me, “Can I try something?” I said yes and she started screaming.’
‘And it worked!’ Ruby said returning to my bed and bouncing her arms off the mattress. ‘Daddy always said my scream could wake the dead and it can. It can, it can. It can. I’m going to tell Daddy.’ And she was off.
‘Where am I?’
‘You’re in one of Fand’s healing rooms.’
‘How did I get here?’
Dad pulled up a chair. ‘That’s an interesting story. Three days ago, the sergeant at arms was shocked to find a seven-year-old blind girl screaming at the Great Gates of Duir. She told him that you were in trouble and he sent a detail out to investigate. They found you curled up on the ground at the edge of the oak perimeter. Ruby says you went out there to talk to a tree – but you’re not that stupid – are you?’
‘Well,’ I said, ‘Ruby wanted to talk to a tree. I, of course, would have liked to have introduced her to Mother Oak but she was too far away …’
‘So you just went out and wrapped your arms around any old oak?’ Dad was almost shouting. ‘What is wrong with you?’
‘What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with that tree? It was like it grew roots into my head.’
‘Didn’t anybody ever tell you about the Oaks of Duir?’
‘No. No one did and whose fault is that – do you think?’
That stopped Dad’s anger, ‘Oh, well, I guess I should have told you.’
‘You think?’
‘Yeah, sorry. ’
‘So what did that tree do to me?’
‘Oaks are dangerous trees, son. If you even brush past one it can snare you. We seem to have no defence against them. They can access our memories and then manipulate our emotions. That’s one of the things that makes Mother Oak so wonderful. She searches out the best in people and reminds you that you are a good person but not all oaks are so affirmative. In fact, almost none are. For the most part, oaks are nasty pieces of wood. I liked to think of them as the junkyard dogs of Castle Duir.’
‘Gosh, and I thought yews were the dangerous ones.’
‘Yews can snare you without touching them but yews aren’t nasty. Yews are the judges of The Land – oaks are the criminals.’
‘But yews can kill you, right?’ I asked.
‘True,’ said Dad, ‘but oaks can drive you mad. Speaking of which – are you OK?’
‘I think so, the worst part was …’
‘You don’t have to tell me. I assure you that whatever the oak stirred up in your mind is nowhere near as bad as he made it seem.’
‘Yeah, it was awful, all of the stuff that filled my head but the oak was right about one thing. I did let Fergal down.’
‘We all dropped the ball on that one, son. We should have seen it coming but never forget – the one who stuck the sword in Fergal was Cialtie.’
Fand entered and told us that there was a host of people wanting to visit with me. Dad picked up a vial from the bedside table.
‘Your mother told me to give you this as soon as you awoke and seemed OK.’
‘I’m fine Dad, I don’t need any medicine.’
‘So you want me to go back to your mother and say that you are defying her?’
I looked at him and frowned. ‘You wouldn’t do that – would you?’
‘Hey, this is your mother we’re talking about. You’re on your own here, pal.’
I took the vial of liquid. ‘OK, I’ll take it,’ I said, ‘but I would really like to …’ That’s the thing about medicines in Tir na Nog – you don’t have to wonder if they are working. There was no possible way I could have even finished that sentence and whatever I thought I wanted to do was instantly of no concern to me. I was back down in my well but this time it was only about six inches deep and lined with satin. Dad said I passed out with a huge smile on my face.
I woke to a question. ‘Are you nuts?’
‘No, I’m OK; the oak tree didn’t drive me mad,’ I said before I opened my eyes.
‘Oh, that’s a huge relief,’ the voice said with an uncaring tone that I didn’t like. I opened my eyes to see a very angry Brendan looming over me. I instantly sat up and backed into the headboard – he looked like he was going to hit me. ‘What were you thinking?’
‘I … I …’
‘Nora and I didn’t know where Ruby was and then you plop her on a horse and take her out to the most dangerous forest in The Land – where you abandon her – on a horse.’
Second most dangerous forest, and it was a pony, I said – to myself, because I knew if I said that to Brendan, there would have been some police brutality.
‘You’re right, I’m sorry,’ I said, ‘I wasn’t thinking.’
‘You’re damn right you weren’t thinking. She could have been killed, or driven insane. What possessed you to do it?’
‘Ruby showed up in my room and said that you promised her a pony but were being slow about it.’
‘So you just went and got her a pony?’
‘Well,’ I shrugged, ‘she’s kinda hard to say no to.’
Brendan relaxed and sat down. ‘Yeah, I can’t argue with that, but you’ve got to remember that even though she acts like she’s forty-two she’s only twelve.’
‘I know, and I’m really sorry. I promise it won’t happen again and I won’t take her anywhere without you knowing about it.’
He patted me on the head like I was a schoolboy. ‘You are forgiven, Mr O’Neil. So,’ he said, changing the subject, ‘how are you?’
‘I’m fine. Dad said I was out of it for three days.’
‘The oak roughed you up a bit, eh?’
‘The specifics of what happened are fading now. All I remember is that he made me remember every bad thing I had ever done and I couldn’t stop it. It was horrible.’
‘As bad as being arrested for your dad’s murder?’
‘I don’t want to bruise your ego, Detective Fallon, but compared to the oak – you’re a pushover.’
A commotion outside the door made us both turn. A woman was screaming and guards were shouting.
‘O gods,’ Brendan said, ‘I might be a pushover but my mother is not. If she gets in here she’s going to tear your head off.’
The door opened and a very fierce looking Nora stomped towards me in a way that reminded me of an attacking Banshee. I looked to my left and saw there was a vial of that medicine on my bedside table. I grabbed it and downed it in one. Nora started screaming. I heard it but really didn’t care as I snuggled blissfully down into the satin bed of my unconsciousness.
When you take one of Mom/Fand’s potions you really do go out. No dreams, no visions, no nothing. I had no idea how long I had been asleep. It could have been days or minutes. When I woke up I opened one eye and had a look around. Sitting at my bedside, reading a book, was Essa.
She was back to her beautiful young-looking self. I just watched as she brushed a wisp of hair away from her forehead with a gesture that I knew oh so well.
‘Hey, old lady,’ I said and then braced myself. Essa had been plenty mad at me for so much of the time that I knew her that I was never sure if our meeting was going to be pleasant or not. But then she smiled and my body relaxed and my heart pounded.
‘Hi, I … was worried about you.’
I looked around the room to see if anybody else was there. ‘You talkin’ to me?’
She laughed. ‘Yes I am. Are you OK?’
I sat up. ‘I am now.’ There was an awkward silence where we just stared at each, other until I broke it with, ‘You look good without the wrinkles and the grey hair.’
‘Why, thank you,’ she said with a nod of her head.
‘What’s it like drinking Tuan’s blood?’
‘Gross but kind of – wonderful. I haven’t felt this good in years. I have tons of energy.’
‘Maybe I should order a green dragon cocktail for myself?’
‘Maybe we should get my father to whip up some Tuan blood wine?’
We both laughed. It was nice – normal. Could it be that I was forgiven? I wondered. Could Essa and I ever be – normal?
The question was cut short by the sound of bare feet slapping against the stone floor. I was smothered in kisses even before I could see whose lips were administering them. Not that I had to look, there’s only one mermaid in all of The Land that greets me like that.
‘Oh Conor,’ kiss, kiss, ‘I have been so worried about you,’ kiss, kiss, kiss.
‘Hi Graysea,’ I garbled between smooches, ‘have you met Essa?’
The introduction had the desired effect of getting Graysea to let up on my face.
‘I remember Essa,’ Graysea said in a tone I had never heard from her before. ‘The first time I saw her she hit you in the head with a stick.’
I expected Essa to storm off, hopefully without hitting me in the head, but instead she stood her ground. ‘What are you still doing here?’
Oh my, I thought to myself, this has the potential to turn into a serious cat fight – or a cat and fish fight and they usually don’t turn out very well for the fish. I know it was cowardly of me – I reached for the bedside table but, damn it, there wasn’t any of that knock-out medicine there.
‘Where else should I be but by my beloved Conor’s side?’
To be perfectly honest I wasn’t the only reason she was still here – Graysea had nowhere else to go. When the Mertain King found out that she had stolen his dragon’s blood to give to me, he banished her.
Essa was close to snarling when she said, ‘I can think of several places I would rather you to be.’
‘Essa,’ I said as gingerly as I could, ‘Graysea helped me escape from a very difficult situation.’
‘Oh, did she?’ the Princess said. ‘And what other situations did she help you in or out of?’
‘I don’t understand you,’ my mermaid said with her usual tilt of the head. ‘Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be mourning the loss of your fiancé?’
I instantly popped up on my knees on the mattress between them. Essa had stepped back in what I recognised as a preparation to spring. I really didn’t want to be in the middle of this and suspected that any second I was going to get the worst of it.
‘Everyone out,’ came a command from the doorway. Dad was standing there in his drill suit. He wore that kingly face that made the two women snap to attention and then quickly leave. Neither said goodbye to me as they never really took their eyes off each other for the entire exit.
‘Thank you,’ I said when the Princess and the mermaid were out of earshot.
‘Don’t thank me too soon,’ Dad said, throwing me the clothes that he had been carrying. ‘Your mother and Fand have given you a clean bill of health, so come with me – it’s time for some training.’
‘Training for what?’
‘We’re going to launch an assault on the Oracle of Mount Cas.’
I thought about the prospect of going into battle again and then thought about the skirmish that Dad had just saved me from. War didn’t seem that bad at all.
Chapter Five (#ulink_dda3a7a5-7436-512f-baba-245d4d760f7a)
Graysea and Essa (#ulink_dda3a7a5-7436-512f-baba-245d4d760f7a)
I was back in Dahy’s boot camp. This time it was worse than the first time. The first time I knew I didn’t know anything. This time I thought I knew everything and Dahy proved to me that I once again knew nothing. We were learning a new technique. The master didn’t have a name for it so I called it ninja school – ’cause that’s what it felt like. None of us were allowed to execute any of our showy spins or flip manoeuvres. Every movement had to be minimal. All over the armoury, where we practised, were wooden dowels balanced upright with feathers perched on top. Every time one of us disturbed a feather, or worse, knocked over a dowel, Dahy would shoot us in the legs with a crossbow bolt that had a woollen ball stuck on the end. If you think that doesn’t sound like it would hurt – then think again.
Araf was really good at it. It wasn’t until I saw him in a room full of feathers did I realise just how economical a fighting style he had. Except for his figure of eight propeller-like stick move, Araf hardly had to change his technique at all. Essa was lucky she didn’t have to learn this stuff. Without all of her flipping and twirling she would have been very unhappy. And when Essa is unhappy – everyone is unhappy.
Gerard, Essa’s father, forbade her to go into the Oracle’s house. She wasn’t about to let her father boss her around like that but when Gerard threatened to withdraw all of Castle Duir’s wine shipments – Oisin took Essa off active duty. She was furious and Dad had to remind her that he was, like, a king. She stormed off kicking anything, and anyone, in her path. In short, Essa was to be avoided, but I was doing that already.
Even though our practice was deadly serious it was also fun. Dad joined us and so did Mom and Aunt Nieve. The ladies had a hard time casting spells without all of that dramatic wicked-witch arm waving. Dad, who already had, like, a hundred years’ worth of Dahy tutelage, just seemed to do whatever the master told him to do without any effort at all. One time I pushed Dad over, just to see if Dahy would shoot the king with his crossbow. He didn’t, he shot me.
Brendan trained with us but he wasn’t going either. He wanted to come, just like he wanted to ask the yew trees if he could use Spideog’s bow, but he had a responsibility to his daughter Ruby not to put himself in harm’s way.
‘And actually,’ he confided to me one day at lunch, ‘I’m in no hurry to see that Oracle guy again. If I recall he kicked our butts good with just a flick of the wrist.’
I pointed that out to Dahy but he said he had a plan. So by day we continued to practise our non-feather-disturbing fighting techniques and by night I rubbed healing salve into the black and blue bruises on my legs that Dahy gave me with his crossbow.
The banging on my bedroom door would have busted any Real World door off its hinges but Duir doors are made of hardy stuff.
‘Conor,’ the voice on the other side bellowed, ‘I want to talk to you.’ I knew who it was right away – everyone in the castle was talking about it. New wine is news around here but when it’s delivered by the master winemaker himself – that’s big news.
I opened the door and there stood the largest of all of the larger-than-life characters in Tir na Nog. Gerard stepped into the doorway, blocking out all of the light beyond. In his hand he held a metal bucket with a piece of cloth over the top – it didn’t look like a weapon but I kept my eye on it.
He strode further into the room, forcing me to back up, and said, ‘If I didn’t know better I would think that you have been hiding from me.’
‘I … maybe I have been,’ I confessed.
‘Why would you do that?’
‘I guess you haven’t spoken to Essa yet?’
Gerard frowned and placed his bucket on the floor. ‘Oh, I have spoken to my daughter all right. She is mighty mad at you and this – what did she call her – “fishy floozy” of yours.’
‘That’s why I’ve been avoiding you,’ I said.
‘Let me get this straight, you think that because my daughter is angry with you, that I will be too.’
‘Aren’t you?’
He came at me with his arms outstretched. I had a brief flashback of the bear attack in the Pookalands. He wrapped his arms around me and gave me one of his laughing hugs that lifted me off the ground. ‘Oh my boy,’ he said, and I relaxed even though my ribs were threatening to crack. ‘If Essa is mad at you, then you already have more enemies than any one man can stand.’ He let go of me and I tested my diaphragm to see if I could still breathe. ‘Good gods and monsters, if I had to be angry at everyone that my little darling was irritated with – I would not have any friends or customers at all.’
‘So you’re not here to give me the “don’t you dare hurt my daughter” speech?’
Gerard laughed, picked up his bucket and moved over to the table on the other side of the room. ‘Oh, I don’t give that speech. I usually just try to discourage Essa’s beaus for their own safety.’
We laughed at that as he whipped the cloth off his bucket like a TV magician. ‘I’ve brought you a gift.’ Buried deep in snow, with only their necks sticking out, were four bottles. I grabbed one, releasing it from its icy bed.
‘Beer!’ I shouted.
‘I remembered that last time you were in Castle Muhn you said you wanted beer that is “lighter, fizzier and colder” – well, try this.’ He reached over and placed his hand on the neck of the bottle and mumbled. The cork began to spin and then rise until it shot out of the bottle with a satisfying pop.
I took a quick gulp to catch the foam from overflowing onto the floor. Gerard scrutinised my face for any hint of criticism. ‘Well?’ he asked as I wiped my mouth with my sleeve.
‘I think you should give up on this wine stuff and become a full-time brewer.’
Gerard beamed like a child who had just received a stick-on star on his homework.
‘Did I hear someone shouting beer?’ It was Brendan at the door.
‘Brendan,’ I said. ‘Come in and meet Essa’s father, Lord Gerard of Muhn.’
‘Oh,’ Brendan said, a bit surprised while improvising a bow. ‘How do you do? I’m a big fan of your wine.’
‘Well, come in and try my beer,’ Gerard said without standing.
Brendan hesitated and said, ‘Actually I was just passing with my mother.’ Brendan reached into the hallway and took his mother’s hand and guided her into the room. ‘Lord Gerard, may I introduce Nora Fallon.’
I hadn’t seen Brendan’s mother since she arrived in the Hall of Spells. She was dressed in a green felt-ish tunic with gold embroidery and leather trousers – pretty much what everyone around here wears and it suited her to a T.
Gerard jumped to his feet, and bowed. ‘Of course I have heard about both of you. Welcome home, Druids. Please join us in a drink.’
Nora bowed. ‘Thank you, my lord, but no. I have to tend to my granddaughter.’ Brendan started to go with her when Nora said to her son, ‘No, please stay. I know how much you are missing beer.’ She bowed once again to us and left.
‘Your mother,’ Gerard said after seating Brendan and uncorking a beer for him, ‘is … old.’
‘Yes, try not to point that out to her when you meet her next. She’s getting a bit tired of that.’
‘But according to my daughter a couple of drops of blood from that remarkable Pooka friend of yours would change that – would it not?’
‘Tuan has offered my mother some dragon blood but she says she feels great and likes herself the way she is.’
‘Well, it sounds as if your mother knows her own mind. I like that in a woman.’ Gerard slapped Brendan on the shoulder, changing the subject. ‘My daughter speaks highly of you, Druid.’
‘Well, she hasn’t hit me yet,’ the cop said.
Gerard laughed, ‘It’s a shame you are not going on our little expedition but I understand about parental responsibilities.’
‘Wait,’ I said. ‘Are you coming?’
‘Oh yes,’ Gerard said, ‘Oisin has summoned me – I am an integral part of the plan.’
‘Look it’s a three and a half day ride to the base of Mount Cas,’ I said. ‘There is no reason to leave at dawn. We can leave at, like, ten and still be there way before it’s dark on the fourth day.’
‘Son, we leave at dawn – that’s how it is.’
‘Who says? Where is it etched in stone that all expeditions must leave at dawn?’
Finally Dad gave me one of his patented withering stares that, although he looked like my annoying younger cousin, still worked.
‘Yes sir. See you in the morning.’
‘Before the morning,’ he called after me.
So here I was, yawning while dragging my pack on the ground behind me, trying to get some kind of enthusiasm for the adventure ahead.
Believe it or not, I was early. The only ones in the stable before me were Gerard and four brawny soldiers. I watched and yawned as they hoisted a huge wine barrel on to Gerard’s cart.
‘Are we planning to get sloshed on this trip?’
‘I wish,’ Gerard said. ‘There is no wine in that barrel.’
‘What’s in there?’
‘Salt water.’
I was about to ask why we needed a barrel of salt water when I was blinded by a pair of hands covering my eyes from behind. ‘Guess who?’ said the unmistakable voice.
‘Is it a person or a fish?’ I asked.
‘Both.’
I turned to see the ever bubbly Graysea standing behind me. She kissed me on both cheeks and said, ‘Good morning.’
‘Good morning to you too – how nice of you to see me off.’
‘Oh, I’m not seeing you off. I’m going with you.’
‘Graysea, this is a very dangerous mission. I really don’t think you should come.’
‘Think again, son,’ Dad said while arriving around the corner with his mount.
I walked Dad out of earshot. ‘Why is Graysea coming with us?’
‘Because we are going up against a tough customer and I want a healer with us, and I have never seen anything like that Mertain healing power of hers.’
‘Yes, Dad, but she’s …’ I tried to remember what matron had said about Graysea. ‘She’s a sensitive fishy.’
‘I think you underestimate your mermaid, son. Graysea saved your butt out there in the ocean and defied her king. She can handle a three-day hike.’
‘Don’t you want me with you?’ Graysea asked when I got back to her.
‘No, I … I’m just worried about you.’
‘It’ll be fun.’
‘Graysea, we are going into battle.’
She put on her serious face but then smiled that room-lighting smile of hers. ‘Well, it will be fun until we get there.’
I just couldn’t resist the infectious joy of that girl’s smile. ‘You’re right,’ I agreed, ‘welcome along.’
Who knew what we were going into? At least until then I would have some pleasant company along the way. And luckily Essa wasn’t coming so I wouldn’t be caught in the middle of a week-long oestrogen nightmare.
Araf showed up and I grunted at him – I’ve discovered that wordless communication is best with the taciturn Imp. Mom, Nieve and Dahy all dramatically feigned surprise at me being ready before them. I saddled up Acorn (I was tempted to take Cloud but she was Brendan’s horse now) and then helped Gerard hitch up the wagon to his monsta-horses.
Actually it was nice being early and not having everybody scowling at me to hurry. I was mounted up, waking up and starting to feel good about this expedition when my spirits were dashed by the arrival of the last two of the party – Tuan and Essa.
I cantered Acorn over to Dad. ‘I thought you forbade Essa from coming?’ I said in a harsh whisper.
‘Gerard had forbidden her to enter the Oracle’s house on Mount Cas so she and Tuan are performing a different task.’
‘You did this on purpose.’
‘What, son, do you accuse me of doing on purpose?’
‘You know perfectly well what you did. You invited Graysea and Essa on this trip so you could watch me suffer.’
Dad, who had been wearing the slightest of smirks, became gravely serious. ‘Essa is a very important part of Dahy’s plan and as I said before, Graysea is the finest healer I have ever seen. The world does not revolve around you, son. I would never ask anyone to join an undertaking as perilous as this just to annoy you.’ He kicked his horse away but as he did he said, ‘That’s just an added bonus.’
We took the main road out and travelled three abreast. On my left was Graysea and on my right was Essa. No one said a word. I was even afraid to shift in my saddle lest the noise break the agonisingly painful silence. Dad looked around and didn’t even try to stifle his chuckle. This was going to be a long, long trip. I thought, maybe if I’m lucky I’ll die a horrible death on Mount Cas. At least then I’ll be saved from a trip home with these two.
Chapter Six (#ulink_74e414e2-4e2c-5926-9082-45218b06977a)
The Yew House (#ulink_74e414e2-4e2c-5926-9082-45218b06977a)
We travelled like that for a day and a half. No one said a word. Anybody who knows me understands that I’m uneasy with uncomfortable silences. This was pure torment. I thought my head was going to explode. On the first night I ate and went straight to bed. I was hoping I could get to sleep quickly so I would have someone in dreamland to talk to, but sleep wouldn’t come. I was sharing a tent with Araf and still wasn’t asleep by the time he came to bed. I was so desperate for conversation I said, ‘Say something.’
‘What would you like me to say?’ he answered, without the puzzlement in his voice that he should have had.
‘I don’t care – anything. You can tell me about crop rotation if you want.’
‘Really?’ he said, with more excitement than I have ever heard from him before.
‘Yes, anything.’
So off he went babbling on about plants and seeds and hoeing and dirt and bugs. He was so wrapped up in his subject I’m sure he didn’t notice me nodding off with a smile on my face. Anything was better than the silence I had been enduring sandwiched between the icy glares of those two women.
I got a reprieve the next day when Essa dropped back to have a planning chat with Tuan.
Graysea startled me when she spoke. ‘Do you still care for her?’
‘Who?’ I said lamely.
‘Conor, I’m stupid but not that stupid.’
‘You’re not stupid,’ I said, ‘you’re the cleverest mermaid I know.’
‘And how many mermaids do you know?’
‘Well, that’s not the point.’
‘No it’s not,’ she said. ‘The point, which you seem to be avoiding, is whether or not you still have feelings for Essa.’
‘Well, that’s complicated.’
‘And you think I am too stupid to understand. Is that it?’
‘No,’ I said looking around hoping that a pack of wolves would attack and get me out of this conversation. ‘Essa and I have a history.’
‘You still haven’t answered the question,’ she said and then mercifully continued so I didn’t have to. ‘I just don’t understand. When you were on the island with me she was engaged to that Turlow fella – right?’
‘Yes.’
‘So she is mad at you for being with me when she was engaged to somebody else. That doesn’t seem fair.’
‘Well, ah …’
‘And she hits you all the time.’
‘Well, I don’t know about all the time … but often.’
‘And is it true that last summer she tried to kill you?’
‘She … she didn’t try to kill me,’ I stammered, ‘she was just part of a plot to have me killed.’
Graysea shook her head and sighed. ‘And people think I’m stupid.’ She kicked her horse and sped ahead.
Gosh, I thought, when you add it all up like that she had a point. Araf had silently sidled up next to me. I turned to him and said, ‘What do you think, big guy?’
‘About what?’
‘About my women problems?’
‘I think,’ the Imp said, ‘I was more comfortable with questions about crop rotation.’
I got another reprieve that night when they both ignored me. Essa finally came up to me after dinner. A firefly sat on her shoulder illuminating one side of her face.
‘Your little mackerel is lounging in her barrel.’
‘She is not a mackerel, she’s a Mertain. She is a healer from the Grotto of Health on the Mertain islands. And she is not lounging. She is recharging – preparing herself so she can help any of us in case we are injured.’
Essa was taken aback by my tone. She stood.
‘Maybe you would prefer to join her in her bath tub.’
‘Maybe I would. At least she’s not mad at me all the time and she never hits me with sticks.’
Essa looked at me like she had never seen me before. I stood and faced her. ‘Anyway, I haven’t seen you for an hour or so – are you sure you haven’t gotten engaged to someone in that time?’
Essa looked like she had been slapped. ‘You promised you would never mention that.’
‘No I didn’t. You told me not to mention it. I never got a chance to promise. Well, maybe I’m tired of being bossed around by you.’
It didn’t take long for the surprised Essa to kick back. ‘Fine,’ she hissed. ‘I hope you and your fish will be happy together.’ She stomped away, leaving her firefly to flutter around confused, and then she turned. I took a step back expecting a blow. ‘Now that I think of it, you and your fish are perfect together – because you’re an eel.’
I tried riding with Araf the next day but he insisted on continuing his dissertation on agriculture so I dropped to the rear to have a long overdue catch-up with Tuan. Araf didn’t even notice I was gone.
‘Councillor Tuan,’ I said, ‘I’m surprised you’re still in Duir. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great having you around, but shouldn’t you be in the Pinelands impressing girls with your super-Pooka act?’
‘Girls,’ Tuan sighed, ‘are the reason I am here.’
‘Oh?’ I said with my inflection going up.
‘My mother wants me to marry.’
‘Oh,’ I said with my tone going down.
‘Yes, Mother wants me to marry a mousy woman from the council.’
‘When you say mousy, Tuan, do you mean she’s small or that she changes into a mouse?’
‘Both.’
‘And you’re not into rodents?’
‘It’s not that …’
‘What is it then?’
Tuan looked around to make sure no one could overhear. ‘There’s this girl in Castle Duir.’
‘Oh, do tell.’
‘This mustn’t get back to my mother.’
‘I’ll be as quiet as the mouse you’re cheating on.’
Tuan snarled at me then straightened up in his saddle and said, ‘Never mind.’
‘No, no, I’m sorry T. I promise I won’t make jokes. Who is she?’
‘I better not say.’
‘Aw come on, what’s the big secret?’
‘She is an Imp.’
‘Oh, and Mom’s not into mixed marriages?’
‘Mother thinks that Pooka power as strong as mine shouldn’t be diluted.’
‘So she’s hooking you up with a mouse?’
Tuan shrugged.
‘Why don’t you just tell your mother to get stuffed?’ I said. ‘You do realise you’re a dragon?’
Tuan laughed. ‘Being one of the most powerful creatures in The Land has little sway with my mother.’
‘Yeah, big guy,’ I said, nodding. ‘I guess I can relate to that.’
We made good time and got to the base of Mount Cas on the evening of the third day. As we set up a base camp, I expected Dad to make some comment like, ‘Aren’t you glad we left at dawn?’ but all he gave me was that look that said it all. Where do parents learn that all-encompassing look? Is there some sort of instructional video you get when you have your first kid? Does it come with a mirror to practise in?
Gerard brought out a couple of bottles of dark red wine. It was fabulous. I wasn’t worried about the upcoming confrontation until I tasted it. When Gerard brings out the special stuff then you know there’s going to be hard times ahead.
That night I dreamt about the Oracle. He leaned forward into the light. As his wispy grey hair blew in a breeze, his wrinkled eyes smiled at me. Then with the tiniest flick of the wrist, he sent me sailing off the side of Mount Cas. I screamed all the way down until the moment I hit the ground. I sat bolt upright in my tent and stared into the darkness, willing my breath to calm and my heartbeat to return to normal. Was that just a nightmare, I wondered – or a prophecy?
We set out long before dawn. Every campaign seemed to be getting earlier and earlier. Soon we would be leaving before we even went to bed. Essa, Tuan, Gerard and Graysea stayed behind in base camp. The last time I climbed Mount Cas it took us three days but that was in the winter. This day was dry and sunny and we set a ridiculous pace. We hiked way into the cold night and found a place to camp on the opposite side of the mountain from where the Yew House stood. We didn’t know if the Oracle had enough power over the mountain to cause avalanches, but didn’t want to chance it.
Mom sat next to me over what was laughingly called dinner. ‘Are you OK?’ she asked.
‘Other than the fact that my legs feel like jelly after that climb and I have to sleep on cold hard stone on the edge of a cliff the night before I re-tangle with the nastiest sorcerer I have ever seen – yeah, I’m fine.’
‘I was talking about your girlfriend problems.’
‘Oh, well I don’t think I have a problem any more ’cause after this trip I probably won’t have any girlfriends.’
‘Well, that would suit me fine. Then I would have you all to myself.’
She put her arm around me and gave me a hug that made me feel like I was five. I placed my head on her shoulder and closed my eyes. I was awfully tired. I don’t know if it was Shadowmagic or just Mom magic but the next thing I noticed I was in my sleeping roll and Dahy was shaking me awake and offering me a cup of breakfast tea.
If yesterday my legs felt like jelly, today they felt like lead. Dad, in front, set a stride that some would call a sprint. We only slowed down on the parts of the trail that were visible from the Yew House above, then we would press against the rock face and slink along in single file so as not to be seen.
It was nightfall when we reached the wide shelf where, months before, Araf and I had almost fallen off the side when caught in an ice slide. If we had been spotted during our ascent, we figured that the Brownie guards would be there to meet us as they had done the last time. Since they didn’t, we decided to camp the night there and meet the Oracle guy in the morning. We didn’t risk a fire but Nieve got some water hot using gold wire she incanted over and then dropped into the kettle. Dad hadn’t spoken all day and looked kinda off. I made him a cup of tea and then pointed to the stone wall next to him. ‘Excuse me sir, is this seat taken?’ I asked.
He was lost in thought but then finally said, ‘No,’ without even noticing any irony in the question.
‘You OK, Dad?’
He noticed me then and said, ‘Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.’
‘You know I’m old enough that you don’t have to play Strong Dad for me. You’re obviously distracted. What’s on your mind?’
‘It’s nothing. I’m just mulling over tomorrow.’
‘Or maybe you’re nervous about meeting a mother that you hardly even remember?’
Dad looked shocked – then smiled. ‘How did you get so smart?’
‘I actually have experience in meeting a mother for the first time in adulthood, remember?’
‘Yeah, I guess you do. Any advice?’
‘Yes, I do,’ I said, sipping my tea. ‘Get some rest, ’cause it’s nothing you can prepare for.’
The next morning as we walked to the front porch of the Yew House, Dahy threw something off the side of the mountain. There was no one outside the house so we opened the door and let ourselves in. We obviously caught everyone napping. A Brownie saw us in the hallway and yelped like a puppy that had accidentally been trodden on. He scurried away and it wasn’t long before there was a wall of armed Brownies between us and the end of the hallway.
I recognised the tall Brownie in front as the one that, months earlier, I had pinned to a wall by the neck. I knew that these guys weren’t as tough as they looked.
‘You are not welcome here,’ tall guy said.
‘We are not looking for a welcome. We are looking for Macha,’ Dahy said.
They all flinched in surprise at the mention of her name. If I had any doubts that my grandmother was there they left me then.
Tall guy repeated himself. ‘You are not welcome here.’ This time he emphasised his words by levelling a crossbow at us. Or I should say started to level a crossbow at us, because he never got it even close to level. As soon as the weapon started to rise, Mom and Nieve performed some kind of magic. There was a flash of light and the Brownies went down like bowling pins.
‘Strike,’ I said, and Dad gave me a smile.
We walked the length of that dark stone cold corridor until we reached the yew door with the Eioho Rune carved into the finish.
‘Ready?’ Dahy asked and in response we fanned out into our rehearsed positions.
The room beyond was exactly as it had been the last time I was there. Light shining from round discs set into the ceiling refused to bounce off the pitch-black floors. On a dais in the centre of the room, bathed in shadows, sat the Oracle on his Yew Throne. You couldn’t see his face, only the outline of his hair and robe as both fluttered in the wind that whistled through the room.
We stepped through the doorway, spread out and awaited Dahy’s command.
I stood at the back and tried to be as inconspicuous as possible. I wasn’t interested in having my conversation with him pick up where it had last left off.
‘Where is Macha?’ Dahy demanded.
Oracle guy leaned in, letting the light hit his face for the first time. It was as effective as any lighting trick done in a Hollywood horror movie and I’m sure he did it for its impact. The next time I had to scare the crap out of someone I decided I would hire this guy to do my special effects.
‘The last time I spoke to a Lord of Duir, he had manners,’ he said, looking at Dahy, but then he turned to my father and said, ‘and the last time I spoke to a Lord of Duir, he spoke for himself.’
‘I have had reports of the reception you offered my son at his last visit,’ Dad said, ‘the time for manners was then.’
The Oracle cast an eye in my direction. I wish you’d leave me out of this, Dad, I thought to myself.
‘As for my general’s question,’ Dad continued, ‘I shall repeat it. Where is my mother?’
The Oracle started to smile and then sat back into the shadows and laughed. One of those bad-guy laughs that irritates everyone except the laugher. We waited.
‘I never thought I would see the day when the Lord of Duir would climb up my mountain only to say, ‘I want my mommy.’ He laughed again. I’m glad it was dark in there ’cause I smiled too.
‘Conor, welcome back,’ he said, wiping the smile from my face, ‘I see you have brought your Imp with you. But where are the archer and the Druid? Oh dear, did I kill them?’
‘No,’ I said trying hard not to let my voice wobble. ‘Not that you didn’t try.’
‘Impudent as ever,’ he said in a tone that almost had some warmth in it. ‘Someday that will get you killed.’
‘I would advise you not to threaten my son.’ Dad obviously had heard something different in his tone than I had.
‘Or what? Your Shadowwitch will cover me with sap?’ Oracle looked to Mom and Nieve. ‘Which one of you is the Daughter of Hazel that practises the forbidden lore?’
Mom stepped forward but didn’t say a word.
‘So who are you?’ the Oracle asked pointing to Nieve.
‘I am Nieve of Duir and I too want my mommy.’
That should have been funny, but the way my aunt said it made it sound menacing. Saying that, Oracle guy laughed – apparently he doesn’t menace easily.
‘Well, now that we are all introduced,’ the Oracle said rising, ‘it is time for you to go. Apologise to my Brownies on your way out.’
Dahy is not the kind of guy who lets emotions get in the way of his tactics but on this day, the arrogance of the Oracle and the anticipation of seeing Macha again got the best of him and he jumped the gun. He raised his banta and stepped towards the dais. All I remember of the next ten seconds was: G-forces, wind and pain. By the time I came back to my senses I saw that I, like everyone in my party, was pinned to the wall by a force of wind that made our faces scrunch up like astronauts during take-off. When I finally could force my head to move, I saw I was three feet off the ground.
Oracle guy was standing in front of his dais with his arms outstretched as dust and leaves swirled around him under the light from the ceiling discs. If before I thought that this plan was maybe a mistake, now, seeing Oracle guy looking so all-powerful, I wondered if this was actually a fatal mistake.
‘What arrogance,’ he said; his voice, carried on the wind, was so loud it made my head vibrate against the stone. ‘To imagine that sticks and swords – and even Shadowmagic are enough to defeat ME!’
Chapter Seven (#ulink_62ef011d-bba3-5fb5-aa07-514afb549ea7)
Diddo (#ulink_62ef011d-bba3-5fb5-aa07-514afb549ea7)
I tried to speak and then yell but the wind seemed to push my words back in to my head. I wasn’t party to the entire plan for this campaign but I was pretty sure that getting pinned to a wall wasn’t part of it. I could only hope that we got back on schedule before Oracle guy killed us.
The pressure of the wind was so intense that I was starting to have trouble breathing. Now that would be one for the books – being suffocated because of too much air. I looked to my left. Not because I wanted to, it was just that I could no longer keep my head straight. As my cheek pressed painfully against the stone wall I saw Mom moving her hand into her pouch. I don’t know how she did it, I couldn’t move a thing. Her hand came out with one of those gold and amber balls that she had invented. It was a hybrid weapon made from Real and Shadowmagic. I had never seen it fail to kick the crap out of anybody she had lobbed it at. Ever so slowly she brought her hand to her lips and incanted directly onto the ball. The gold and amber glowed and then despite the force of the wind it started towards the Oracle – but not for long. I heard him laugh through the howl as Mom’s bomb came back at her and silently exploded as it reached her chest. Normally I would have had to turn my head or cover my face at the brightness of it but all I could do was close my eyes. When the flash blindness finally receded to small black dots I saw that Mom was out cold. At least, I hoped she was just unconscious. For all I could tell she might have been dead.
The horror of that thought hit me at the same time as all the noise stopped. Blessed quiet filled the room as the wind and pressure ceased and I slid down the wall onto my feet. Mom crumpled to the ground. As I ran to her I heard Dahy’s voice shouting the word that I had taught him, ‘Ninja!’ My training kicked in and I slowed to a crawl. Mom looked like she was still breathing so I slowly turned to see that the rest of my team had already gently flowed into action. Oracle guy looked very confused. He waved his arms and flicked his wrists but in the windless chamber he seemed powerless.
I breathed a small sigh of relief, making sure I created no air current. We had all been working on the assumption that Oracle guy’s powers came from wind. It seemed not to be such a stretch after seeing how the Mertain harvested power from ocean currents. Days before, Tuan in the form of a crow had carried a parcel of stuff that Mom, Essa, Nieve and Fand had come up with. I know it sounds silly but it was like magic expanding cavity filler. As a test they had set off a teaspoon of it in Castle Duir. It filled the room with an amber coloured substance with the consistency of light pumice. It kept going into the hallway and for a minute Mom was worried that it was going to take over the entire floor. There were people back at the castle who were still trying to dig out the room.
Tuan had reconnoitred the mountain and discovered two large holes at about the height of the Yew Throne Room. We figured that if we plugged those holes, the wind in the chamber would stop and Oracle guy would be powerless. The Shadowmagic baton Dahy threw off the mountain just before we entered the Yew House was Essa’s signal to ride Dragon Tuan up to the summit, detonate the parcels and draught-proof the throne room. If Dahy hadn’t jumped the gun maybe we could have done all this without so much pain.
Once the wind stopped, subduing Oracle guy was easier than any of us expected. He was still trying to figure out what had happened to his powers when Nieve came up behind him and pinned him with one of her paralysing specials. As soon as he was incapacitated Dad and Nieve went to Mom. Nieve placed her hands on both sides of Mom’s head. She was like that for a long time before she said, ‘I think she will be fine, but I would like to get her to your mermaid as quickly as we can.’ I didn’t like hearing Nieve using words like ‘I think’. I sat and held Mom’s hand, not knowing what else to do.
Dahy made us all jump when he shouted into the darkness, ‘MACHA.’ Just the sound of that one word spoke the decades of loss the old warrior felt. Dad rose and stood beside him.
A form in a black hooded cloak seemed to appear out of the darkness as it stepped into the light. It made the hairs stand up on the back of my neck. I was half expecting the hood to drop back to reveal the face of The Grim Reaper. As if we were still in our ninja mode none of us even breathed. The reaper raised her hands and pushed back the hood. Amber hair, just like Nieve’s, fell across her face. As she pushed it away I saw her eyes. They weren’t dark brown like Dad’s and his sister’s but pale blue – like mine. Then I remembered something that Spideog had said to me: ‘You have your grandmother’s eyes, you know.’
No one said a word. Like a bunch of zombies, we all stood and stared at each other until I just couldn’t stand it any more.
‘Are you my grandmother?’ I asked.
She smiled at me then. It was strange. Not the grandmotherly smile that I had ever imagined. She was far too young looking and beautiful for that. ‘Yes, I am,’ she said. ‘I see you received my message.’ She looked to my father.
Dad stood stock still as she walked up to him, placed her hands on both sides of his face and tenderly kissed him on the forehead. ‘I thought, my son, I had lost you to the Real World and when I heard Conor’s tale of your strange illness, I thought I had lost you again. But here you are and looking fit and well.’
Dad was at a loss for words. They stared at each other and as every agonisingly long second passed, my father seemed to lose a year. When he finally spoke he sounded like a five-year-old. ‘Where have you been?’
Tears welled up in Macha’s eyes. ‘Here my son, locked in this dreadful place.’
Nieve stepped into the light and quietly said, ‘Hello Mother.’
Macha looked to her daughter and then took her hand. ‘You have become a proper sorceress, my child.’
Nieve could only nod yes.
Macha hugged her and then turned to Dahy. ‘General, can you take me away from here?’
‘I can, my Queen,’ Dahy said dropping to one knee.
My grandmother walked over to him, knelt down and placed her hand on his cheek. ‘Not your queen, Diddo, only me, Macha.’
‘Did you just call Dahy Diddo?’ I blurted.
Dahy stood and gave me a look that made me think he was going to snap me in half. And considering that Dahy can snap me in half, it was a pretty scary look.
‘Hey,’ I said, raising my hands in a gesture of surrender, ‘I’m sorry to break this tearful reunion, but we have an injured Shadowwitch here and I for one would sorely like to get the hell off this mountain. What do you say, guys?’
Dahy kicked into leader mode, with a little more chest-puffing gusto than normal. If I didn’t know better, I would have said he was showing off. ‘How many others are in the house?’ he asked Macha.
‘There are seven Brownies that live here,’ she replied, ‘but I think one is away from the mountain.’
‘Well, we took out six on the way in. Conor and Nieve, go see if the ones in the hallway are still down.’
Nieve and I opened the door and peeped around the corner. The pile of Brownies were still there but they were moaning and moving. Nieve dashed up and quickly poked all of them in the butt with one of her pins while I picked up the weapons.
The tall Brownie opened his eyes fully and then a look of panic crossed his face. ‘I cannot move my legs! What have you done to me?’
‘Relax,’ I said, trying to pat him on the shoulder but he took a swipe at me when I got close. ‘Seriously, chill. You just got pinned by one of my aunt’s specials. You’ll be fine in a couple of hours.’ He sat up and then pushed himself along the floor until he had his back to the wall. I felt sorry for him.
‘Where is Lugh?’
‘Lugh?’
‘Yes, the master of this house is Lugh. Lord of All. Where is he?’
As if to answer the Brownie’s question my party came into the hallway. Dad was carrying Mom and Araf had ‘The Lord of All’ hoisted over his shoulder like a bag of manure. Most of the Brownies, now conscious, watched with open mouths as their master was carried to the front door.
‘Did you kill him?’ the tall Brownie asked.
‘No,’ I said, ‘but we are taking him back to Castle Duir. You’re free now. Go back to the Brownielands, he no longer has a hold on you.’
He smiled at me then. One of those smiles that lets you know that the smile-ee knows something you don’t. ‘As long as he lives,’ he said, ‘we will never be free. We will await Lord Lugh’s return. It will not be long.’
I left them with a canteen of water and they left me with a feeling of … doom.
Outside, Dragon Tuan began to ferry all of us off the mountain. Early on in his dragon life, Tuan made it perfectly clear that he was not going to be an air taxi service for the House of Duir so this was a favour I really appreciated. I had no desire to ever see this mountain again and getting off it as fast as I could was a top priority.
Dad and the unconscious Mom went first, then Araf and the unconscious Lugh, followed by Dahy and Nieve. As my grandmother and I waited for Tuan to return she said, ‘I worried about you trying to get blood from a fire worm, I worried that I led you on an impossible task – never in my life did I imagine that you could enslave a dragon.’
As I started to reply, Dragon Tuan flapped up onto the shelf. We had to cover our faces to protect our eyes from the swirling dust. ‘Oh, I wish he was my slave,’ I shouted over the noise, ‘then I wouldn’t have to walk as much as I do.’
I took Macha by the arm and led her over to the green lizard. ‘Grandma, I would like you to meet my friend, Councillor Tuan.’ Tuan rocked his head back and blew a puff of fire that finished with a perfect smoke ring.
Macha bravely walked right up to him and patted him on the snout like he was a horse. Tuan dropped to one knee and lowered his head as Grandma said, ‘I am honoured to meet you, Councillor.’
The flight down was the scariest ride I had ever had with a dragon – and that included when Dragon Red tried to kill me. Tuan was so tired from all the upping and downing that he pretty much just dive-bombed off the mountain. I screamed like a little girl all the way down but Grandma didn’t make a peep even during the G-force-inducing last second level-out. When Tuan became Tuan again I promised I would punch him for that – immediately after I threw up.
I was expecting Macha to be open-mouthed like everyone else who witnesses Tuan’s transformation for the first time but when I looked at her, she had her eyes closed and her arms outstretched. I heard a snort from Acorn – looking not like the bold stallion that often gives me a hard time but more like a colt approaching his mother. That’s when I noticed that all the horses were doing the same thing. They slowly approached Macha with their heads down and then shivered with delight as my grandmother caressed each one of them. It was remarkable to watch. It was like she was part of them but also above them, like a horse god. Macha the Horse Enchantress – the yews had given her the power over horses, and there in front of us was the proof. She hugged each horse in turn. The look on her face was like a mother returning to her children after a long time away.
Mom was awake, sitting with her back against a rock, with a blanket on her lap and drinking willow tea when I found her. She gave me one of those forced smiles that let me know she was OK.
‘Hey Mom, it’s good to see you with your eyes open. You gave me a scare. How do you feel?’
‘Good, considering. Your Graysea is a remarkable healer. I’m starting to see what you see in her. I don’t think she is as witless as she would have us believe.’
‘That depends on which side of her brain she is using.’
‘Seriously?’
I nodded and she laughed but stopped right away and held her chest in pain.
‘I think you need another session. I’ll see if she’s up for it.’
I found Graysea and asked her if she could gill-up for Mom again. She said she was on her way to do just that now that she had seen that everyone else was OK. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Gerard’s big fist hand me a glass.
‘Is that wine?’
‘It’s something a bit stronger,’ the big man replied.
‘Good,’ I said, knocking whatever it was back in one. The whole world wobbled like I was about to do a flashback on a bad sitcom.
When I could risk moving again without falling over, Gerard said, ‘More?’
‘Yes please,’ I replied holding out my glass.
‘You wouldn’t have any of your wine with you, Gerard?’ Macha asked, coming over to the fire. Behind her stood all of the horses, like groupies awaiting the beckon of a prima donna rock star.
‘You know I do.’ Gerard poured her a glass and she took a sip with her eyes closed like it was a chalice filled with the elixir of youth.
‘Oh, it has been so long,’ she sighed.
‘It has indeed,’ Gerard said. ‘You look good for a dead woman.’
Macha smiled at him but he didn’t return it. ‘I’m surprised to find you here, winemaker. Thank you for coming to save me.’
‘Spend no thanks on me, my Queen, I came because of Dahy. I would follow that man to the gates of hell if he wished it and I will defend him from all harm.’
‘Well then let us both make sure no harm befalls him,’ Macha said, still smiling but not as much.
‘Let’s,’ Gerard said. ‘More wine?’
‘No,’ she said, placing her hand over the top of her glass. ‘I have been long away from your wine for too long. Like your company, too much of it would be overly intoxicating, but thank you.’ She handed me her empty glass and walked away.
‘So you two have met?’ I asked Gerard.
‘Oh yes,’ he replied. ‘We have met.’
Tuan offered to fly Mom home. She must have still felt pretty banged up ’cause she accepted. Oracle guy was given something that put him into a coma, and then stuffed in the barrel that just yesterday had held Graysea’s saltwater bath. For good measure he also had a paralysing pin stuck in his neck. I wanted to feel sorry for him but I once had travelled on a wagon in a barrel and I’m sure that it was much more comfortable to do it unconscious. Still I made sure he had a few pillows in there with him.
As Gerard hammered the barrel lid closed I said, ‘Well, Lugh is lugh-ed up tight.’
‘What did you say?’ Dad asked, and I also noticed that everyone else had stopped in their tracks.
‘It was a joke. You know, locked up tight?’
‘But what did you call him?’
‘Lugh, the Brownies said Oracle guy’s name is Lugh.’
Gerard stepped back like the barrel was about to bite him. All eyes shot to Macha.
‘Is this true?’ Dad asked.
She looked surprised. ‘I thought you knew.’
Nieve stepped up to Macha. She had a look on her face I’m pretty sure I had never seen before. She looked – frightened. ‘Are you saying that the one who had kept you prisoner for all of these years is Lugh of the Samildanack?’
‘Yes,’ Macha replied.
Gerard actually stumbled into me when he heard this. I steadied him and said, ‘What does this mean?’
‘It means,’ he said, looking at the mallet in his hand, ‘that in that barrel, I have just sealed – a god.’
Chapter Eight (#ulink_fe733a95-120e-5b30-8fac-6a361768653a)
Lugh (#ulink_fe733a95-120e-5b30-8fac-6a361768653a)
Macha rode in front on the way home. Not because she was a queen, but because we quickly figured out that if she wasn’t in front then all of the horses would keep trying to look around to see where she was. Dahy rode with her and the two of them chatted the entire time like teenagers on the telephone. Dad and Nieve rode wordlessly behind. If Macha had any guilt in leaving them motherless for so long, she showed no sign of now trying to make up for it. I couldn’t see their faces but their body language in the saddle made them look like unhappy children forced to ride a pony at a birthday party.
I was behind them with Araf – tantamount to riding alone – and behind me rode my girls, Essa and Graysea. I didn’t hear them share even one syllable and I wasn’t about to turn around to see if they were OK. The tension permeated the entire group to the point where Gerard, riding in the cart at the rear, was singing dirges as opposed to his usual ditties.
It wasn’t just the imminent outbreak of a cat fight that was upsetting the group, it was like the whole party was spooked. And the thing that was spooking everybody was the guy locked in the barrel on Gerard’s cart. I needed more details on this ‘Lugh being a god’ thing but Mom and Nieve were not in a talkative mood and Gerard didn’t like talking to me when Essa was around, in case she thought he was taking sides. (Even a father can be afraid of a child like Essa.) And I could never get Dahy away from Macha.
At night I tried to entice Grandma into talking about Lugh and her imprisonment but she said that it was far too horrid to speak of. She went to bed early every night with a horse standing guard outside her tent.
I was reduced to spending my days staring at the scenery – not a bad thing. Spring had fully sprung and summer was once again upon The Land. The vibrancy, the … aliveness permeated everything, and – if they were like me – everyone. The feeling – no, not the feeling – the knowledge that you can live for ever came from days like these.
News of Queen Macha’s return preceded us. An hour before our arrival at Castle Duir a rumble and a cloud of dust could be seen in the distance. Dahy and Dad sped to the front and were about to throw us all into battle stations when Macha said, ‘There is no need for concern. It is just my children.’
Sensing the Horse Enchantress’s approach, the horses in Castle Duir’s stables had become anxious. The master of the stables, having heard that Macha was soon to arrive, left open all the stable doors and let the horses run to meet their mistress.
Macha dismounted and walked ahead of us as the sound of thundering hooves intensified. What a scary and magnificent sight: Macha standing alone in an open field, her hands held out as a stampede of galloping horses came directly at her. As they got nearer they squeezed together so as to be close to the Horse Enchantress as they passed. I thought for sure they were going to trample her but at the last second they parted. They swarmed past her like a flock of birds – her hands brushing the charging beasts. They swung around for another pass. They did this three times and I’m sure they would have done it all day if Macha hadn’t put a stop to it. She raised her yew wand and the horses swung in front of her and then stopped as if at attention. From the middle of the herd came a huge silver stallion. I recognised him. The stable master had told me that his name was Echo because he was the spitting image of the horse that sired him – King Finn’s horse. When I once asked if I could ride him I was told that he was wild – unrideable. Yet here he was, head down, offering himself to the Horse Enchantress. Macha patted him on the snout and Echo quivered. Then, fast as a tree monkey, she mounted him and galloped towards Castle Duir. The herd whinnied and followed – leaving us behind.
We didn’t even have to kick our horses to catch up; Acorn leapt to join the herd whether I liked it or not. I galloped up next to Dad and Nieve. ‘I’ll say this about Grandma,’ I shouted into the dust-filled air, ‘she knows how to make an entrance.’
Mom had not been idle with the days that travelling dragon-back had given her. She had prepared a special airtight cell and had a Leprechaun smith make a pair of silver gloves/handcuffs that would hopefully render Lugh unable to whip up a breeze or any magic. While Dad and Nieve secured the prisoner, I went in search of answers.
I found Fand in the Shadowmagic laboratory she set up with Mom. She was stirring something in a small pot.
‘If that’s a super delicate Shadowpotion you’re working on,’ I said, ‘I can come back later.’
‘It’s tea,’ Fand replied reaching under the counter and producing two cups. ‘Would you like some?’
‘Oh, yes, thank you.’
She stirred the pot with a gold stick and when she removed it all of the used tea leaves had stuck to it. She mumbled something and the leaves all fell into a rubbish bin. Then she poured us both a cup.
‘What brings you down here, Prince Conor?’
‘I want to know who Lugh is.’
That query made Fand lean back and sigh. She took a sip of tea before she answered. ‘Maybe that is the wrong question,’ she said. ‘Maybe you should be asking: what is Lugh? A question that many have been asking for a long time. Or maybe the most important question is: who is the man we have locked up in the windless cell? I’m not certain he is Lugh.’
‘Gerard said he was a god.’
‘A god. One man’s god is another man’s false idol. What is a god?’
‘I don’t want to interrupt you mid-flow, Fand, but do you think maybe you could answer one of my questions with something other than another question?’
Fand laughed; it was not something I had ever heard her do before. It was sweet. ‘Sorry Conor, it is just that this appearance of Lugh, or whoever he is, has raised many questions.’
‘OK,’ I said, ‘let’s forget about this Oracle guy we have locked up. What are the old stories about Lugh?’
‘Well, that depends on who you are talking to. Among most of the houses of Tir na Nog, Lugh is thought of simply as Banbha’s consort.’
Banbha, there was that name again. Whenever there are dark tales of the early days of The Land, Banbha is the name that usually comes up. ‘Banbha was one of the three original sisters that founded Tir na Nog right?’
Fand nodded.
‘So Lugh was Banbha’s husband.’
‘This was long before customs such as marriage came about but that is essentially the idea.’
‘So why did Gerard call him a god?’
‘Well, as you know, many in The Land worship one or all of the sisters as gods. Leprechauns pray to Ériu for gold and most Imps venerate Fódla.’
‘I’ve seen Araf make a blessing gesture when hears Fódla’s name.’
‘Yes, I imagine he does,’ she said. ‘But others in The Land revere Lugh as much more than a consort. There are many, especially the Brownies, who look at him as a deity.’
‘Why?’
‘Most in The Land believe that the first land of Tir na Nog was Duir – the Oaklands – and this was found or created by Ériu who then sent for her sisters who in turn created other lands.’
‘I know this much,’ I said. ‘Fódla created Ur – the Heatherlands – and Banbha created Iodhadh – the Yewlands.’
‘That is what the Faeries believe, but lore reads differently. Most Brownies believe that the Yewlands were first and that Lugh was already there when Banbha found it. They say Banbha was the first sister and that Ériu and Fódla betrayed and banished her. What happened to Banbha no one knows but when she vanished – so did Lugh.’
‘Yeah, but the Brownies will believe anything if it gets them closer to Duir’s gold.’
‘It is not only the Brownies that believe that Lugh was The First – my mother believed it too.’
Fand’s mother was Maeve. As the inventor of Shadowmagic, she had decimated a forest to steal sap, the blood of trees, to fuel a war against my grandfather and the House of Duir. At almost her moment of triumph she blew herself up along with many of the Fili, with a giant Shadowspell that went terribly wrong.
‘No offence, Fand, but your mother had a lot of wrong ideas.’
‘I will not argue with you on that point, Conor, but she once told me that she learned these tales from an Elf.’
‘So the Elves are in the Lugh-is-a-god camp too?’
‘Who can tell what the Elves think. I’ve never had a conversation with an Elf that was not about trees or wine. They do know the yews though. They are the only ones that can pass through the Yewlands unmolested by the trees.’
‘I’ve been to this Oracle guy’s house. You know it’s made from yew wood.’
Fand thought and then poured us both some more tea. ‘As I said, Conor, this man raises many more questions than he answers.’
When I got back to my room Ruby was waiting for me. She was sitting in my big leather chair.
‘How did you get in here?’
It was like a scene from a spy movie.
‘I walked in. I’m blind, not lame.’
‘Well, you can walk right out again. Last time you came here I almost got killed by a tree and then again by your father and now that I think of it, I’m pretty sure your grandmother wants to kill me too.’
‘Yeah,’ she said with no intention of leaving, ‘sorry about that.’
‘Are you?’
‘Of course I am. It was very nice of you to take me riding and I’m sorry you got hurt and I’m sorry you got in trouble.’
I took a hard look at her with her huge sunglasses and her feet sticking straight out from my chair and I reminded myself that even though she acted like she was forty-two, she was still only twelve. ‘OK,’ I said, ‘and I’m sorry you had to fend for yourself outside the wall. Let’s not do that again. OK?’
‘Deal,’ she said, sticking her hand out, not quite towards me, to shake.
‘Deal,’ I said, shaking. ‘So what are you doing in my room?’
‘I need something Daddy and Grandma can’t give me.’
‘Hold on, isn’t this how we got into trouble last time?
‘Relax, O’Neil,’ she said, and I had to laugh. She sounded so much like her father. ‘I just need some advice.’
‘About what?’
‘I want to be a sorceress. How do I do it?’
‘Oh, I don’t really know.’
‘Who does?’
‘Well, my mother is a sorceress.’
‘OK,’ she said, sliding off the chair and striding to the door. I just stood there befuddled until she turned around and said, ‘Are you coming or what?’
Now I promised myself the last time Ruby got me into trouble that I wouldn’t allow myself to be bossed around by someone a third of my weight, but I had planned to check in on Mom later anyway, and I really wouldn’t mind knowing how she had become a sorceress myself.
‘Fine,’ I said, taking her by the hand. ‘We’ll see if she’s busy.’
While Dad was ill, Mom had set up the room next to the master bedroom as her queenly office. As we drew closer I saw that the door was ajar and stuck my nose through the crack.
Mom was down on all fours behind her desk, I could only see her feet sticking out. I heard what sounded like hammering and then wood splintering.
I walked over and said, ‘Are we doing a little remodelling?’ It wasn’t Mom. Macha popped up so quick that I jumped and almost fell over Ruby.
‘Ow,’ Ruby squealed. ‘Watch it. There’s a blind kid here you know.’
Macha initially looked like I had just caught her with a hand in the cookie jar, but when she noticed Ruby she became very interested. She walked around the desk, took Ruby’s sunglasses off, then placed her hands on both sides of her head and tilted her face up so she could look closely into Ruby’s sightless eyes.
‘Hey, who are you?’ Ruby demanded.
I wasn’t quite sure what to do. Macha was being awfully rough with Ruby, but then she was my grandmother and what do I know about how to treat kids? Still, it was plain to see that Ruby didn’t like it. When I saw Ruby cock her blind stick back ready for a strike, I grabbed her wrist and got between the two of them. I never saw Ruby hit anybody with her stick but I’d bet money that she was good at it. Macha looked angrily at me.
‘Sorry Macha,’ I said trying to explain myself, ‘but she can’t see, you know.’
‘I do know,’ Macha said. ‘I have been waiting for you, little girl.’
‘Is my mother here?’ I asked.
‘No,’ Macha answered absently, never taking her eyes off Ruby.
‘Are you waiting for her?’
Macha didn’t even answer that. I walked over and looked behind the desk. There was a dagger on the floor and the skirting board had been prised away from the wall.
‘What were you doing behind the desk?’ When she didn’t answer me I said, ‘Does Deirdre know you are here?’
That seemed to get her attention. She started to answer then looked to Ruby then back to me like she was trying to make up her mind about something. ‘Oh well,’ she said reaching into a fold on the side of her dress. ‘I was hoping that I could be around for longer but it seems that now is the time.’ Out of a pocket she produced a lace fan that she snapped open like a Spanish lady at the opera. With a flick of her wrist the door to Mom’s room slammed closed in a way that looked a lot like the magic that Oracle guy used on the mountain. I started to ask her how she had done that but I only got as far as, ‘How …’ before her fan flicked in my direction and I sailed across the room and into the wall. By the time I came to my senses she was sitting on my chest painfully holding my nose. I opened my mouth to gasp for air and when I did I felt and tasted some kind of liquid hitting the back of my throat. She then pushed my mouth closed and jumped on my chest – it was swallow or drown. It tasted awful and I coughed and rolled onto my side as Macha jumped off me.
Ruby let loose one of her migraine-inducing screams. Macha was on her in an instant, covering her mouth, snatching her stick and throwing it across the room. I got up to help her but Macha shouted at me, ‘Stay where you are!’ And I did. Unlike one of my aunt’s paralysing pins it wasn’t like I couldn’t move, it was like my body just didn’t want to move.
‘What have you done to me?’ I said, desperately trying to move my legs.
‘That fluid I placed in your mouth was horse … well you are better off not knowing what part of a horse it was but now that you have ingested it, I have control of your body. Sit,’ she commanded and I dropped hard on my butt. ‘See?’
‘What do you want?’
Ruby squirmed and then Macha pulled her hand away in pain. Ruby had obviously bitten her. As she started to scream again Macha gave her a hard slap. Shock and then tears came to the poor kid’s face. She went instantly from the woman-child that bosses me around to an all-too-fragile twelve-year old.
‘What I want,’ Macha said, looking at her bitten hand, ‘is this child to be silent.’ She reached into her pocket and produced a handkerchief. ‘Come over here, Conor, and gag her.’
I almost laughed. There was no way I was going to do that but even as the smirk hit my face my body stood up, took the handkerchief from my puppet-master grandmother and pulled it across the child’s mouth.
Macha said, ‘Make sure it’s tight,’ and, despite every cell in my brain telling me to stop, I pulled it tighter before I tied it in the back. A muffled cry of pain came from Ruby and the only thing I could do was say ‘Sorry.’
Macha went back down onto the floor and recommenced ripping up the skirting boards. I looked to the door and felt that with Macha’s attention elsewhere I could pick up Ruby and make a break for the door, but when I tried Macha said, ‘Don’t even think about leaving.’
‘What are you doing?’ I tried to ask and was surprised to find I could.
Macha didn’t stand up but from the floor said, ‘Do you know whose room this is?’
‘Yes, it’s my mother’s.’
‘Do you know whose room this was before your mother?’
‘No.’
There was another sound of splintering and wrenching of wood. I heard Macha exclaim, ‘Ah ha,’ followed by the sound of scraping. Macha then reappeared from behind the desk in a plume of dust and loudly dropped on it – a leather-bound manuscript. ‘This room was once Ona’s lair.’
Holy cow, I said to myself. A manuscript chock full of Ona’s predictions. As if her prophecies hadn’t caused enough problems – here were a stack more.
‘Where are they keeping Lord Lugh?’
I didn’t want to answer her but found myself saying, ‘The guest chambers, one floor down.’
‘Come. Bring the girl and make sure you are not seen.’
My possession was the strangest thing. I was still able to do ordinary things as long as they didn’t seem to contradict the will of Macha. Before we left the room I picked up Ruby’s sunglasses and put them on her face. I pushed her hair back and told her everything would be OK just before I gruffly dragged her by the arm. I stuck my head through a crack in the door and saw a guard on his usual patrol. I tried to shout to him but instead I unwillingly ducked back inside the room and waited for him to pass. When he had gone I led us past my room and down the servants’ staircase.
The floor had been cleared of all guests except Lugh. There were two guards posted outside the door and another two walking a patrol. Macha waited for one of the patrol guards to come past and blew him hard into the wall with her fan. I was surprised his head didn’t crack open.
Macha pointed to the unconscious guard and said, ‘Take his sword and kill the other one.’
‘No,’ I said. I was proud of myself when that came out. All the way down the steps I had been incanting a Fili meditation chant and was beginning to think I was getting control again.
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John Lenahan
A Lord of the Rings for the 21st century. Only a lot shorter. And funnier. And completely different.A KINDLE BOOK OF THE YEAR 2013The thrilling final part of the Shadowmagic trilogy.When Conor returns to the Real World with Brendan and Ruby he tries to settle back into a normal life, but shortly after he arrives he is arrested for kidnapping a police officer. That police officer being Brendan.Accused by the FBI of being a terrorist, Conor tells his interrogator the truth: how he is really the heir to the throne of Tir Na Nog, a place where the trees can talk; that he has fought alongside imps and banshees against leprechauns and brownies; and that he is in love with a feisty young princess.Naturally, no one believes him, until that princess turns up to rescue him and take him back to Tir Na Nog. And when he gets there he finds he needs to team up with Essa, Araf and Taun for one final quest, a quest which will decide is ultimate destiny.Thrills and wisecracks abound in this fitting finale to the Shadowmagic series.
SONS OF MACHA
JOHN LENAHAN
Copyright (#ulink_844ce8ea-611f-51c4-bda6-411ddabbae19)
William Collins
An imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd.
1 London Bridge Street
London SE1 9GF
www.harpercollins.co.uk (http://www.harpercollins.co.uk)
This edition first published by The Friday Project 2013
Copyright © John Lenahan 2013
John Lenahan asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this ebook on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins ebooks
HarperCollinsPublishers has made every reasonable effort to ensure that any picture content and written content in this ebook has been included or removed in accordance with the contractual and technological constraints in operation at the time of publication
Source ISBN: 9780007456741
Ebook Edition © March 2013 ISBN: 9780007517770
Version: 2017-09-12
For Tim and Sarah (Mel) Lenahan.
The only ones I still show off for.
Table of Contents
Title Page (#u4cc03513-bf65-5b25-b76c-ef6be6d6226a)
Copyright (#u5090b354-35a9-53c3-a7ba-cbda2c6615c2)
Dedication (#uc58c5d51-7aa0-5962-a114-a34769cc01e0)
Chapter One: Special Agent Murano (#u6f5f0b50-6e58-5307-8c9b-ef9c02a3ece9)
Chapter Two: Ruby (#u007ba26b-fc79-5d0d-9e17-6254a59c45ac)
Chapter Three: Macha (#u7021b959-aba9-5b08-a11e-80bc474d616e)
Chapter Four: The Oak (#u48075be1-ea0c-5044-8bb5-34e6235e6402)
Chapter Five: Graysea and Essa (#u10da5a14-a608-5be1-b5bf-05b32330da08)
Chapter Six: The Yew House (#u43de9ded-a0bc-5207-b08b-7249994e7170)
Chapter Seven: Diddo (#u4aa50b29-f491-517d-8616-2ceb6ddaf9f6)
Chapter Eight: Lugh (#u01ac6592-f8bf-57a6-a3b0-7d40924709bb)
Chapter Nine: Ona’s Book (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten: Nora (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven: Judgement (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve: The Hermit of Thunder Bay (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirteen: Captain Jesse (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fourteen: Ivy Lodge (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fifteen: Maeve (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Sixteen: The Worry Stone (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seventeen: Connemara (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eighteen: Connemara Maeve (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nineteen: Mícheál (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty: Eth (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-One: Master Eirnin (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Two: The Hive (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Three: The Choosing (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Four: War (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Five: Dumb Idea (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Six: King Bwika (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Seven: Prince Codna (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Eight: Fand (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Nine: The Grove (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirty: The Shadowrune (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirty-One: Nora (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirty-Two: The Twins of Macha (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirty-Three: Mother Oak (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirty-Four: A Wave (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirty-Five: Beginnings (#litres_trial_promo)
Keep Reading (#litres_trial_promo)
Acknowledgements (#litres_trial_promo)
About the Author (#litres_trial_promo)
By the Same Author (#litres_trial_promo)
About the Publisher (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter One (#ulink_16f0ec54-2a7e-5d08-8c38-204fb6ed1b5d)
Special Agent Murano (#ulink_16f0ec54-2a7e-5d08-8c38-204fb6ed1b5d)
He wasn’t a Scranton cop. I could tell that as soon as he walked in. The pressed suit and the newly cut hair made me suspicious but the Italian shoes were a dead giveaway.
‘Conor O’Neil?’ he said in a low voice that made me think he had been practising it in a mirror.
‘Hay-na,’ I replied using the local vernacular. His confused look confirmed that he was an out-of-towner. Not that I minded; the local police had been none too gentle with me. Understandable, considering they were certain that I killed my father, bombed their police station, hospitalised about two dozen of their fellow officers and kidnapped their favourite detective. So when a Scranton cop elbowed me in the ribs when no one was looking it was forgivable but not pleasant. This new guy was a relief. He looked like he played by the book – hell, he looked like he wrote the book.
‘My name is Special Agent Andrew Murano.’
‘You’re a Fed?’
He flashed his identification card emblazoned with a big ‘FBI’ across it.
‘Wow, what did I do to deserve the Eliot Ness treatment?’
‘Kidnapping is a federal crime.’
‘Well then you can go home, I didn’t kidnap anybody.’
‘That’s not what Detective Fallon tells us,’ the FBI man said, opening a folder on the table between us.
‘Well Detective Fallon can kiss my …’
‘You claim,’ Murano interrupted, ‘that you accidentally took Detective Fallon to a magical land where you rode dragons together.’
I winced. ‘Well, when you say it like that, it sounds a bit far fetched.’
‘No, not at all, Mr O’Neil. Do go on.’
I really didn’t want to. Telling a story as crazy as mine is kind of fun the first time around but after a while it loses its appeal. I’ve often heard that women hate it when men mentally undress them with their eyes – well, I had the opposite problem. Everyone I told my story to mentally dressed me in a straitjacket. But I recounted my tale once again, ’cause Brendan told me to tell the truth.
Brendan and I had arrived from Tir na Nog into the Real World not far from Brendan’s house. The portal connecting The Land to the Real World deposited us inside a small patch of trees exactly at the spot where Brendan’s mother said mystical ley-lines converged. Brendan had always considered that just another one of his mother’s hippy-trippy crazy ideas, but he was learning that many of her crazy ideas were turning out to be true. Detective Fallon and I were the only ones who made the trip. Essa was supposed to join us but she was still mad at me for the Graysea thing.
Brendan’s mother Nora was one of those older women who looked great even into her seventies. You could see by her face that she had all of her marbles (and then some) and her physique showed that she was still strong. Good thing too, ’cause the shock that Brendan and I gave her when we showed up to the front door on horseback would probably have killed a lesser senior citizen.
When his mother asked him where he had been, Brendan started by saying, ‘You’re not going to believe this.’ But only a couple of minutes into the story it was plain to see that she did. She had believed in Filis and Faeries and Brownies and Tir na Nog all of her life and tears came to her eyes as Brendan told her that the Queen of the Druids recognised him as one of their own.
Brendan’s daughter Ruby was at school. He wanted to go and get her but Nora convinced him that that was a bad idea. He was apparently a very famous missing person. There had even been a TV show recreating Mom and Nieve’s attack on the police station and Brendan’s picture had been on every TV, newspaper and Internet screen in the country. Showing up in a third-grade classroom, we decided, might cause a bit of a commotion.
We were sitting down to a nice cup of tea in the kitchen when Brendan saw something outside the window and said, ‘Oh my gods.’ He jumped up and took a big carving knife out of a wooden block on the counter and said ‘Take it!’
I did.
‘Now drop it.’
I didn’t have a clue what was going on. ‘What?’
‘I said drop it.’
He was so frantic I did what I was told.
Then he said, ‘Tell the truth – it’ll keep you out of a serious jail until I can figure things out.’
Before I even had time to say, ‘Huh?’ a zillion screaming cops barrelled in the front and back doors with guns drawn. Brendan hit me in the stomach, spun me around and dropped me to the ground with my arm twisted behind my back. ‘I’ve got him,’ he shouted. ‘He’s disarmed!’
I was cuffed, dragged to my feet by my hair, slammed against the wall and then tossed head first into a police wagon. All the while I kept hearing cops asking Brendan how he was. I saw Brendan’s mother on her porch as they were closing the doors of the van.
‘It was very nice to meet you, Mrs Fallon,’ I said.
Brendan was right. Telling the truth got me a room in a secure mental hospital where my daily interrogators alternated between cops who wanted to kill me and shrinks who wanted to understand me. I couldn’t decide which I liked better. Special Agent Murano was my first change in a couple of days.
I took a deep breath and told the story of how my dad was not dead. That he was alive and well in Tir na Nog, the mythical Irish Land of Eternal Youth, where I assisted him regaining the throne by helping him attach his missing hand and then chopping off my uncle’s hand.
Then I narrated the story of how, when I got back home, Detective Fallon arrested me for my father’s murder and how my mother and aunt busted me out of jail and how they took me back to The Land and how Detective Fallon got transported with us by accident and then we had to search all over The Land and had to fight a battle and ride a dragon so I could use its blood to save my father’s life. And now we are back again so Brendan can see his daughter and tell his mother that he is a Druid. I left out the mermaid stuff ’cause that just sounded kooky.
When I finished I had a long hard look at Special Agent Murano to see if I could figure out which group he was going to join. The group that thought I was crazy or the group that thought I was pretending to be crazy. Agent Andy was difficult to read. He clicked off his tape recorder and tilted his head towards the armed guard that was standing by the door.
‘Would you object, Conor, if we had a little conversation in private?’
‘Why?’
Agent Murano leaned in so close I could smell his heavy cologne. ‘I have a lot of experience with unusual events,’ he said in a conspiratorial whisper. ‘Let’s just say I would prefer to talk about your situation without prying eyes.’ Then he winked at me.
‘What, are you like an X-File guy?’
He smiled. ‘When we are alone.’
‘OK,’ I said.
The FBI man dismissed the guard and then lowered the Venetian blinds that were in front of what I assumed was a two-way mirror.
I started to get excited. When you tell a story as crazy as mine, to as many people as I had and none of them believe you – you start to doubt your sanity. Could it be that I had finally met someone who truly believed me?
‘Have you met people from The Land before?’
The agent shushed me, took off his jacket and covered the security camera that was mounted on the corner of the wall.
‘So you have a file on Tir na Nog, right?’
Once again he raised his finger in front of his lips, picked the intercom off the table and unplugged it. Then after looking around to see that no one or nothing could overhear us, he covertly gestured for me to come close. I stood and looked around myself. It was very cloak and dagger. I just got within striking distance of him when – that is exactly what he did – he struck. He slammed the intercom into my stomach just below my ribs. Whether he had been trained or had lots of practice in using office equipment to cause pain, I don’t know, but he was certainly good at it. Every molecule of air flew out of my body and the agonising spasms in my solar plexus made it so I was having a hard time replacing any of them. I was on the ground, doing a convincing impression of a fish out of water, when he bent down and slammed the intercom into my right shin.
I once heard that the only good thing about pain is that you can only experience it in one place – let me tell you now: that’s not true. Getting slammed in the shin just meant that I hurt from my chest to my toes. Then he slammed the damn thing into my head and I hurt all over. I tried to ask why but my breathing still wasn’t working and then I had a thought that terrified me so much I didn’t even care about the pain.
‘Did Cialtie send you?’ I said as loud as I could.
Apparently it wasn’t very loud at all because Agent Murano leaned over and said: ‘What did you say?’
‘Were you sent by my Uncle Cialtie to kill me?’
He grabbed me by my hair and dragged me back into a chair where he handcuffed my hands behind my back.
‘Still with the Faerieland stories. Do you want me to kick the crap out of you again?’
‘No,’ I answered honestly.
‘Then enough with the dragons and the Pixies.’
‘There are no Pixies in Tir na Nog.’
That line earned me a backhand across the face that made my vision swim for a second. ‘What do you want?’
‘I want you to knock it off with the insanity talk. The last four federal crimes I have investigated in this state have all gotten off with insanity pleas. My nickname in the office is The Shrink. I refuse to lose another case to the nuthouse.’
Relief washed over me; he was not an assassin hired by my uncle, he was a plain old ordinary Real World jerk. I smiled.
‘What, O’Neil, is so funny?’
‘The Shrink,’ I said laughing.
Murano flew into a rage, he re-hit me in the stomach and overturned the chair I was cuffed to, my head bounced off the floor and I thought I was going to throw up. I really didn’t want to get hit again but I couldn’t help it, I was still laughing.
‘OK, OK,’ I said, my face pressed against the linoleum. ‘What do you want me to do?’
The agent picked me off the floor – the cuffs cut in to my wrists. He put his face inches from mine. For a horrible second I thought he was going to kiss me. ‘You are going to confess to being a terrorist.’
‘What?’
‘You’re going to admit that you are a terrorist. You don’t have to name names. You can claim that you never met your masters but you kidnapped Detective Fallon because you hate your country.’
‘You’re crazy.’
‘Maybe I am,’ Murano said, ‘but I’m going to make sure you are not crazy.’
‘So let me get this straight – you are punching a man who is tied to a chair and I’m the terrorist?’
The crazy G-man tipped my chair over once again. This time I think I did black out for a short time. The next thing I remember there was drool on the floor and I finally had a pain in my head that hurt enough to block out all of the other pains in my body.
‘OK, OK, I said, ‘I’ll say anything you want. Let’s just try and keep my grey matter inside my skull.’
You know all that talk about how advanced interrogation techniques are no good because a tortured prisoner will tell you anything? Well, it’s all true. I talked about how Tir na Nog was really a code word for a bunch of anarchists that wanted to overthrow the United States of America and then the world. When I started to get too outlandish, Agent Murano shook his head until eventually I just let him write my confession. We started getting along so well I even persuaded him to get me a burger and a shake. Don’t get me wrong, I still loathed the man. Anyone who would use their power to beat a shackled insane person (I know I’m not really insane but he didn’t know that) is just below snakes – and that’s giving snakes a bad name. I was slurping at the last of my shake when Murano came in holding my ‘confession’.
I hesitated before signing. I had been called a lot of nasty things in my day. Once I had even been called ‘unfunny’ (can you believe that?). But ‘terrorist’ was not something I wanted people saying about me. I imagined that in prison hierarchy, a terrorist would be just a tiny step above a guy who cooks puppies for supper.
‘I don’t think I can sign this,’ I said.
‘You want we go through all this again, O’Neil?’ Agent Murano said, rubbing his knuckles.
‘Well the way I figure it, either I get a beating from you today or I get one every day from my white supremacist flag-loving cell-mate. Sorry, Andy, but I’m sticking with the fire-breathing dragon story.’
‘Sign it,’ the FBI man said as he stepped menacingly towards me.
‘No.’
‘SIGN IT!’
‘Sign what?’ Brendan said as he entered the room. The so-called kidnap victim was flanked by a local cop in uniform and an old, grey-haired lady that I at first thought was his mother. Brendan picked up my confession and scanned it. I kept staring at the wrinkled face of the old lady – something about her intrigued me.
‘So you’re a terrorist now?’ Brendan said to me.
‘Special Agent Murano thinks so.’
‘Did he coerce you?’
‘I’d say he counselled me,’ I replied. ‘Agent Andy is like a shrink.’
Murano bristled and pulled Fallon into the corner. I’m sure the special agent meant to whisper but he was worked up and not doing it very well. I could hear every word.
‘What do you care if I rough him up a bit? According to the report he had you locked up in a closet for a couple of months.’
‘It wasn’t that bad.’
‘Come on,’ Murano said, ‘you probably want to take a few pops yourself.’
‘I’m not sure his attorney would approve,’ Fallon said, pointing to the old woman.
‘No,’ the grey-haired woman said, ‘I’d be fine with that.’
At the sound of her voice all the hairs on the back of my neck stood straight out.
‘No you are not,’ Fallon said to her. ‘You were about to tell your client not to sign anything.’
‘My what?’
‘Your client, Mr O’Neil?’ Brendan said pointing to me. ‘You were about to tell him not to say or sign anything.’
‘Oh yes, I was.’ A look of confusion crossed her face – it was maddeningly familiar. ‘Yes, what Brendan said – do. Or don’t do.’
The old woman tilted her head down and with inordinate interest began inspecting the bulb on the desk lamp.
‘She was also about to say that she would like some time alone with her client.’ Brendan stared at the woman again. ‘Wasn’t she?’
The woman straightened up and hurriedly said, ‘Yes, I’d like to be alone with Master On-el.’
‘O’Neil,’ Brendan corrected.
‘Yes, Prin— Mr O’Neil.’
Agent Murano finally took notice of the woman. ‘Can I see some identification please?’
‘Some what?’
‘Identification.’
The old woman looked like she didn’t know what he was talking about. She looked over to Brendan and said, ‘Can we get on with this?’
‘Yeah,’ Brendan said with a sigh, ‘go for it.’
The woman reached up to her ears and pulled off the marble-sized gold earrings that were hanging from her lobes. She held the two shiny spheres in her palm and incanted under her breath. The gold balls glowed then rose from her palm and encircled each other like tiny binary stars.
The uniformed cop stepped in to get a better look but Murano backed up and said, ‘What the—’ He didn’t get to finish before the two balls shot through the air and exploded into the chests of the two officers. They were thrown against the wall in a shower of light. When I could see again it looked like they weren’t getting up any time soon.
Brendan went through the FBI man’s pockets for the handcuff key while the old woman checked on the health of the cop.
‘’Bout time you got here,’ I said to Brendan. ‘That Fed is a nutcase. It was only a matter of time before he dropped a starving rodent down my trousers.’
I stood up and went over to where the old woman was holding the policeman’s head. I leaned in and took a close-up look at the old woman.
‘Essa?’
She smiled – it wrinkled up her whole face. ‘Miss me?’
Chapter Two (#ulink_4139a161-dabf-5181-9a0a-bd83854e17fd)
Ruby (#ulink_4139a161-dabf-5181-9a0a-bd83854e17fd)
‘Essa, you’re so …’
‘I’m so what?’ she said in a tone that sent warning bells exploding in my brain. ‘How do I look, Conor? Tell me.’
‘Well, you look …’
‘If you say “wrinkled” I’m going to chain you back to that chair. For you, I got off my horse and set foot on the ground in the Real World. Because you and Brendan don’t know how to hide, I am what an eighty-year-old woman looks like in this gods forsaken land. So once again, how do I look?’
‘I was just about to say that you don’t look a day over seventy.’
‘Can we get out of here please,’ Brendan said, ‘I’ve just assaulted a federal agent. I’d like to be gone before that appears on my permanent record.’
Essa opened her briefcase and took out a jar of Vaseline.
‘Are we going to slide out of here?’
Essa didn’t even bother with a dirty look.
‘Oak tree sap,’ Brendan said. ‘It was my mother’s idea to put it in a Vaseline jar to get it past security.’
Essa smeared the sap in a circle on the windowless wall. Then she placed her hand on the sticky circle and incanted. When she removed her hand a gold handprint glowed in the brown circle. She straightened up, groaned and rubbed her back.
‘Ready to leave?’
‘I sure am, grandma.’ That got me a dirty look.
She shouted a single word that sounded like a sneeze and the circle silently blew out of the wall. Daylight poured in among the dust and I could see parked cars through what moments earlier had been a wall.
Brendan crouched down and pointed. ‘We have to get past that gate. My car is parked on the other side.’
I walked over to the unconscious Agent Murano. He was starting to come round and if I was honest, I’d have to admit that I was toying with the idea of kicking him in the ribs so he would have something to remember me by. That’s when I saw it. Brendan had emptied the FBI man’s pockets looking for the handcuff key. In a pile on the floor, was scattered change and car keys attached to a keychain that said Porsche.
‘I’ve got a better idea.’
In the parking lot I pressed the fob attached to the keychain and lights on Agent Andy’s white sports car blinked. It was almost like his car was saying ‘Steal me.’ The car, like the special agent’s shoes, was meticulously cleaned and waxed. It wasn’t new but he tried to make it look like it was – right up to the new-car smell air freshener. It was obvious that my torturer loved this vehicle and I was looking forward to smashing it through the front gate. I didn’t get a chance. Brendan wouldn’t let me behind the wheel. He pointed out that he’d been trained in high-speed driving and I had only been driving for a year. I wouldn’t have gotten to smash it into the gate anyway because it was open. We zoomed past a surprised (and soon-to-be unemployed) guard without even a scratch.
It was a tight fit in the car. I got stuffed in to the back and we broke all Pennsylvania speeding laws. After my incarceration I needed some air, so I reached into the front and pulled the latch for the convertible top. The wind took the roof and ripped it right off the car.
‘Oops,’ I said with a smile worthy of Fergal.
‘Yeeha!’ Essa whooped.
I laughed and shouted over the sound of the rushing wind, ‘Where did you learn to do that?’
‘Isn’t that what you and Fergal used to do when you were excited?’ Essa said, her grey hair swirling around the car.
‘It is – well remembered.’
Brendan was tearing around the back country road at an alarming speed. I would have thought that Essa would be terrified but she loved it.
‘This is like being on dragon-back,’ she shouted. ‘Can everybody go around in contraptions like this?’
‘If they go this fast they get in trouble from the police,’ Brendan answered.
‘But it’s OK because you are police – right?’
‘Not any more,’ Brendan said, ‘I handed in my badge the instant the FBI man hit the wall.’
Brendan slowed a little bit as we turned onto the narrow roads that led to his house. At last we skidded around a corner and saw Brendan’s mother and daughter waiting for us at the exact place where Brendan and I had arrived from Tir na Nog a week earlier.
It was the first time I had ever seen Brendan’s daughter. She stood there in a purple tie-dye tee-shirt, a small pack on her back, a white stick in her hand and classic full-sized Ray-Ban sunglasses that took over her whole face.
Essa quickly busied herself opening the portal. Brendan’s mother, Nora, said, ‘It is very nice to see you again, Conor. Are you OK?’
‘I’m fine, Mrs Fallon.’
I crouched down and addressed Ruby. ‘And you must be Brendan’s little Gem?’
Ruby straightened up and said, ‘Only Daddy can call me Gem.’
‘Oh, sorry. It is very nice to meet you, Miss Fallon.’
She shot her hand straight out in front of her. ‘It is nice to meet you, Mr O’Neil.’
We shook. ‘Call me Conor, Mr O’Neil is my dad. Can I call you Ruby?’
‘You can call me Miss Fallon.’
‘That’s my Gem,’ Brendan said smiling.
‘Well, Miss Fallon, I like your shades.’
Ruby adjusted the huge sunglasses. ‘If they’re good enough for Ray Charles,’ she said, ‘then they’re good enough for me.’
‘Indubitably,’ I agreed.
The sound of distant sirens pulled my attention away from the undersized child in the oversized sunglasses. Essa had started the portal to Tir na Nog – there was an outline hanging in the air but it didn’t look like anything I wanted to step into.
‘Pick up the pace, old lady,’ I said. ‘We’ll soon have company.’
‘You want to do this, Duir Boy?’ she grumbled. ‘Stepping through an unstable portal is almost as dangerous as calling me “old lady”.’
‘Seriously,’ Brendan said. There was concern in his voice. ‘How long?’
‘It could be soon if you would allow me to concentrate.’
Brendan and I left her alone. The noise of the approaching sirens meant the cops were almost there.
‘We’ve got a problem,’ Brendan said.
‘You think?’
‘Essa wields our only non-lethal weapon and she’s busy opening the magic thingy.’
‘You missing your bow and arrows?’
‘If the cops get here before she finishes they’ll shoot you.’
‘Me?’ I said. ‘What about you? How about when they get here, I tell them that this is all your fault, ’cause now that I think about it – it is.’
‘I’ve got an idea of how to slow them down,’ Brendan said, ‘if Ruby is game.’
For the record I thought it was a dreadful idea. And it certainly made it so I can never return to the Real World. When the two cop cars screeched to a halt in the gravel road, Brendan and his mother stood in front of me frantically waving their hands. Three policemen and Special Agent Murano all got out – guns drawn.
‘Don’t shoot,’ Brendan shouted. ‘He’s got my daughter.’
What the cops saw was me holding a knife to little Ruby’s throat. Actually it was the nail file from Brendan’s Swiss army knife but hopefully none of the cops’ eyesight was good enough to notice that.
‘Stand back coppers,’ I said in my best Jimmy Cagney voice, ‘or I’ll let the girl have it.’
That was Ruby’s cue to let loose what her father called one of her ‘migraine screams’. Despite the name, I was unprepared for the ear bleeding, high-pitched volume of the screech. I almost dropped the knife and I’m sure that every dog in a five-mile radius ran underneath a sofa.
‘Ow,’ I said.
Brendan turned around and whispered, ‘Told you so.’
‘Take it easy, O’Neil,’ one of the policemen shouted.
‘I don’t want to talk to you. I want to talk to The Shrink.’
‘OK, O’Neil, we’ll get you a psychologist,’ the cop replied. ‘It’s just going to take a little time.’
‘I don’t want to talk to a psychologist, I want to talk to THE SHRINK aka Agent Andy. Didn’t you guys know? That’s what they call him at FBI central.’
‘Don’t hurt the girl, O’Neil,’ Murano shouted.
Ruby let loose another one of her sonic screams that made us all tilt our head a bit until it was over. I was surprised that the lenses in her Ray-Bans didn’t shatter.
‘This is your fault, Shrink,’ I shouted. ‘I was a mild-mannered fantasist before you tied me to a chair and tortured me. You turned me into a child killer.’ I gave Ruby a shake for effect and she bit my arm. It really hurt. I lowered the knife and I saw the cops levelling their guns.
Brendan stepped in front fast and said, ‘Don’t shoot,’ while I repositioned the nail file. I whispered to Ruby, ‘What you bite me for?’
She whispered, ‘I’m trying to make it look good.’
‘Well, ow,’ I said and then got back to work on the FBI man. ‘So is attacking a shackled man in the FBI interrogation book?’
‘I never …’
‘Don’t make me do it,’ I shouted. ‘You know what you did. You tortured me and wrote out a fake confession.’
I was stalling for time but I also wanted Murano to feel a little bit guilty about all this. I’m sure in his mind he now felt exonerated about how he treated me. After all, I wasn’t being very chivalrous – I had a knife to the throat of a young blind girl – but I hoped that someone would investigate his actions and get him busted to airport bathroom security.
‘Almost there,’ Essa shouted.
‘Thank the gods,’ I said.
‘O’Neil,’ Murano said, ‘what is the old woman doing?’
The familiar ring of an active portal reached my ears as Essa said, ‘Who you calling old?’
Mom, Dad and Nieve burst through the portal on horseback. Mom threw two of her Shadowmagic exploding light bombs at the two cops on the left and Dad and Nieve threw what looked like small knives at the other cop and the FBI man. The knives swerved directly into the chests of the cop and Agent Murano.
While Mom’s victims were blown off their feet, the cop and the FBI man just looked at the knives sticking out of their chests and fell over backwards.
‘Hi, son,’ Dad said casually as he rode over to Murano.
‘You didn’t have to kill them!’ Brendan shouted as he ran to the FBI man and reached for the knife sticking out of his chest.
Dad stopped him. ‘It’s not a knife.’
‘I can … I can’t move,’ the Fed said.
‘It’s a knife handle but no blade,’ Dad explained, ‘instead of a blade it has one of Nieve’s paralysing pins in it. Pull it out.’ Brendan pulled the knife blade out of the FBI man’s chest and looked at the gold pin.
‘Cool,’ Brendan said and handed it to me.
Murano sat up and felt his chest. ‘I can mo—’
I stuck the pin/knife back in his chest and he fell over like a stuffed teddy bear.
Nieve rode over and while hanging dangerously low to the side of her saddle, gave Brendan a long kiss. When it seemed like it would never stop, Brendan’s mother gave a discreet cough. Brendan looked up to see his mother staring at him with her arms crossed.
‘Oh yeah. Um, Mom, Gem, this is my … friend, Nieve. Nieve, this is my mother Nora and my daughter Ruby.’
Nieve replied, ‘It is very nice to meet you, I’ve heard so much about you both.’
‘We’ll have plenty of time for niceties once we are back in The Land,’ Mom said, riding by. ‘Let us leave this place.’
Brendan turned to his mother and daughter. ‘Are you sure you want to do this? You might not ever get to come back.’
‘We have already discussed this,’ Nora said. ‘What you did today was right and I am proud of you but your actions mean you can no longer stay here.’
‘We want to be with you, Daddy,’ Ruby said taking her father’s hand. His mother took the other and the three of them walked through the portal.
Mom was next. I asked her to relay a message to Tuan for me when she got back to Tir na Nog then I cuffed the cop with his own handcuffs and hog-tied the FBI man with his belt. I took back the paralysing throwing pins and made sure that Murano could see both the portal and his car. The Fed was obviously very shook up and when he finally could find his voice he asked, ‘Who are you people?’
‘We’re Faeries from Pixieland and you, Agent Andy, are a jerk, but you were right about one thing – I’m not crazy. I really did ride a dragon and to prove it to you …’ I grabbed his hair and turned his head towards the portal. Tuan in all of his dragon splendour popped his head through and Agent Andy gasped.
‘I was thinking about having him eat you,’ I said as I walked over and gave Tuan a rub on the snout, ‘but then I had a better idea.’
I whispered into Tuan’s earhole and stepped back. He gave a shrug that meant, ‘If that’s what you want’, and puffed a perfect little ball of fire directly at Agent Murano’s precious Porsche. The car exploded and as the radiator ruptured it gave out a little squeal like a dying mouse. The look on Murano’s face almost made this whole debacle seem worthwhile.
Chapter Three (#ulink_40a6038f-9852-530c-b8da-5c5c7717eedf)
Macha (#ulink_40a6038f-9852-530c-b8da-5c5c7717eedf)
Ruby stood in the centre of the Hall of Spells. She tilted her head and spun, dragging her stick on the tiles that represented all of the major runes. ‘We’re not in Scranton any more.’
‘How can you tell that?’ I asked.
‘I’m blind, not stupid.’
‘Ruby!’ her father and grandmother shouted simultaneously.
The young girl shrugged, turned to me and said sorry, but it didn’t seem like her heart was in it. I laughed.
‘Don’t encourage her,’ Brendan said. ‘We are working on Ruby’s rudeness.’
‘Well,’ I said, ‘it sounds like frankness to me. If I need an honest opinion I will know who to ask.’
‘See?’ Ruby said to her father.
‘Ruby’s opinions tend to be too honest.’
I looked up to see Mom and Dad standing waiting for our discussion to end. I cleared my throat and pointed to Brendan’s mother and daughter.
‘Nora and Ruby, may I present to you Lord Oisin of Duir and Princess Deirdre of Cull – my mom and dad.’
Nora bowed then whispered to Ruby who bowed too. As she did, Ruby’s huge sunglasses dropped from her face. Her eyes were dark blue and seemingly unharmed but scars were still visible high on her cheeks where the shards of glass had entered her face and ruined her optic nerve.
Mom stepped up and took Brendan’s mother by the shoulders. ‘It is I who should be bowing to you,’ she said with a nod of the head. ‘You risked your lives today in aid of my son.’
‘I would hardly say our lives were at risk, Your Highness,’ Nora said.
‘You went toe to toe with the FBI and the Scranton cops,’ Dad piped in, ‘I’d say you were risking something. Welcome to Castle Duir. This is our home and for as long as we live here, it is your home as well.’
I leaned in to Nora and whispered, ‘And people live a long time around here.’
‘Daddy promised me a huge bedroom,’ Ruby announced. ‘I’d like to see it now.’
‘Ruby,’ Nora and Brendan again admonished in unison, but Mom, Dad and Nieve just laughed.
‘Of course,’ Mom said. ‘You must be tired. Let me show you to your rooms.’
As Mom and Nieve escorted the Fallons to the west wing, I looked about for Essa and Tuan but they had left.
‘I think she is off with Tuan getting a dragon blood youth tonic,’ Dad said.
‘Who?’ I said nonchalantly.
‘Who?’ Dad scoffed. ‘Essa, the princess that you are looking for.’
‘Who said I was looking for Essa?’
‘Oh, my mistake,’ Dad said sarcastically, ‘maybe you were looking for Graysea? By the way, how are the princess and the mermaid getting along?’
‘You’re enjoying this, aren’t you Dad?’
‘Oh yes,’ Dad said over his shoulder as he ran to catch up with Mom.
Dad came into my room as I was practising my knife throwing. He gingerly pulled the dagger from the wall and inspected the woodwork. ‘Don’t do that.’
‘Mom and Aein told me that you used to do it.’
‘Yes and I got in trouble with my father for it too. I’ll get you a dart board or something. Just go easy on the walls. It probably took an elf fifty years to carve this little section.’
‘OK,’ I said, ‘sorry.’
Dad laid the knife across his palm, feeling its balance. ‘You’re not using one of Dahy’s gold-tipped specials?’
‘No, it’s too easy. Also I don’t like seeing the way the knife swerves in the air. It … it reminds me of how Spideog died.’
‘Oh, of course,’ he said, handing me back the knife, ‘I was sorry to hear about that. You really liked him, didn’t you?’
‘Yeah, I did. You didn’t though, did you?’
‘Oh, I wouldn’t say I didn’t like Spideog, it was just … well, now that I think about it, I really didn’t know him very well. You have to realise that I was Dahy’s student from a young age so I just took my master’s side. I never really knew what those two guys were feuding over until you told me. It makes sense now. Dad never talked about my mother much. Most of the things I know about her are from what Dahy told me.’
‘Don’t you remember Macha at all?’
‘Oh, I have a memory of smiling eyes, but maybe it’s just a false memory that my child mind conjured up while looking at her portrait.’
‘Is there a picture of her in the castle?’
‘Sure – in the north wing.’
‘Can we go see it?’
‘Now?’
‘Why not?’
We walked through the castle together. Jeez, I thought the bowing and scraping was bad with me but for Dad it was just short of grovelling. He didn’t try to discourage it. It was the way I was dealing with it too. You just can’t spend all day saying ‘Stop that.’
Even though Dad looked like my fraternal twin he was starting to regain the grown-up manner that I remembered. When he first regained his youth by drinking Tuan’s dragon blood he acted exactly as he looked – like a teenager. He still drags Mom giggling into private corners of the castle but he doesn’t do it all the time and he has stopped challenging me to wrestling matches.
‘So how’s the kinging going?’ I asked as we walked.
‘To be honest, it’s a lot of paperwork,’ he said. ‘All of the kingdoms are kicking up a fuss about the volatility in Duir and especially how unreliable the gold stipends have been. Mom’s been a huge help. She has been holding them off while I was … resting – but now everybody is looking for stability. I’d like a little stability myself but I think pretty soon my brother is going to do some serious destabilising.’
‘He told me he wants the throne.’
‘Not surprising. Once a guy like Cialtie gets a taste of power – it’s hard to let it go.’
‘I don’t think it’s that,’ I said. ‘I mean it’s not just that. He told me that if he became king he would be safe.’
‘I wonder where he got that idea.’
‘Ona’s book.’
That stopped Dad in his tracks. ‘What book?’
‘Cialtie showed me a book that he found in Ona’s bedroom the day he killed her.’
‘He told you that?’
‘Yeah, but he wasn’t bragging. He really believes that he can do nothing except what she wrote in that book.’
Dad started walking again. ‘And she wrote that he would be safe if he was king?’ When he spoke it was more like it was to himself than me. ‘If he had just told me that, maybe I would have renounced the throne … but I did renounce the throne. He had the throne. Why did he insist on trying to blow things up?’
‘He told me that he wanted to free The Land of Ona’s prophetic chains.’
Dad snorted with derision. ‘Freeing The Land by destroying it – typical Cialtie.’
We rounded a corner and entered the north wing’s portrait gallery. Pictures lined the walls stretching into what seemed like infinity. That’s the funky thing about living in a huge castle. You think you have explored every nook and cranny and then you come across an amazing place you have never seen before.
‘Wow,’ I said, ‘Who are all these people?’
‘These are portraits of all of the major and minor rune holders in The Land, and all holders of a yew wand.’ Dad pointed far into the distance. ‘Your grandmother is over here with the House of Nuin.’
As we walked I asked, ‘Can I get one of these?’
‘I’d love to have a picture of you if you would ever hold still long enough to sit for one, but I can’t hang it in the north hall until you have taken your choosing. I don’t have a portrait yet either. Tell you what, after your choosing we should get our pictures painted together.’
‘OK,’ I said, but didn’t relish the idea of having to have to sit still for hours while Dad bestowed his pearls of wisdom.
I spotted the portrait of Macha before Dad pointed it out to me. She had amber hair like Nieve and Dad’s long face but her eyes weren’t dark like her children’s. Her eyes were clear blue – like mine. She was portrayed sitting astride a black horse holding the reins with one hand and her yew wand in the other. Behind her was a hawthorn in full bloom.
‘She’s definitely your mother,’ I said.
‘Yes,’ he said dreamily like he was lost in the picture.
‘You once told me she went on a sorceress’s quest and never returned.’
‘That is what my father told me but I had a talk with Dahy recently and he says one day – she just vanished.’
‘You talked to Dahy about her?’
‘How could I not? That’s all he wants to speak about since you came back from Mount Cas with that knife.’
I smiled at the memory of the helpful message that had been hidden inside the gold-tipped knife and thrown at us on that mountain pass. ‘He thinks Macha is up there with the Oracle?’
‘He does,’ Dad said.
‘But you don’t?’
‘Actually I’m starting to think that Dahy and Spideog are right. Well, maybe not right but that knife of yours and the message you found with it raises enough doubts in my head to make me think we should find out for sure.’
‘Wait,’ I said, ‘we’re gonna storm the Oracle’s Yew House?’
He didn’t answer at first. He just kept looking at the picture of his mother and then, as if he was making the decision right there on the spot, he said, ‘Yes.’
‘How? That guy is seriously bad ass. He took out Spideog with a flick of the wrist. And I have no doubt he could drop half of that mountain on your head if he wanted to.’
‘Dahy thinks it can be done. There is planning to do. I’ll keep you posted.’
Dad ruffled my hair in a way that he knew really annoyed me and rushed off for a meeting with some runelord who I’m sure had a good reason why he needed more gold in his stipend. I was left alone under the dark stare of yet another grandparent I never knew. As much as I didn’t want to face the Oracle guy on Mount Cas again – I sure wanted to meet my grandmother. Well, if anybody could come up with a working plan of attack, it was Dahy.
I arrived back in my chamber to find Ruby waiting for me. She sat almost swallowed by an overstuffed chair, her feet sticking straight out, her stick folded across her lap. I don’t know if it’s the huge sunglasses or just her general demeanour but every time I saw this kid I got the distinct feeling that I was in trouble.
‘Where have you been?’
I was a bit shocked by the abruptness of the question and when I didn’t answer right away, Ruby said, ‘You were probably smooching with your mermaid girlfriend.’
‘I was not,’ I said and sounded to myself like I was ten years old. ‘I was in a meeting with the king.’ I thought that sounded better than ‘I was with my daddy.’
She seemed to find that acceptable.
‘How do you know about Graysea?’
‘My father brought her to me to have a look at my eyes. She cooed and ooed and cried and kissed me. She’s not very clever, is she?’
‘Graysea has other talents,’ I said.
‘Yeah right. Well, she said she couldn’t fix my eyes. That I had waited too long.’
‘Oh, I’m … I’m sorry.’
‘It’s nothing I haven’t heard before,’ Ruby said dismissively as she stood. ‘Now, I would like my pony.’
‘I beg your pardon?’
‘My pony. Father said I would have a pony when I came to Tir na Nog. When I asked him about it he said he had to talk to you. Since he hasn’t yet, I am. I’d like my pony please.’
‘I … I don’t know where I’d get a pony at this time of day.’
‘I would assume,’ Ruby said as she opened the door for me, ‘that we will find one in the stables.’ She motioned me out of my room like it was hers. I started to protest but then just decided that getting her a pony was probably the path of least resistance.
‘I feel sorry for your future husband,’ I said.
‘Funny, that’s what Father says.’
Ruby grabbed my arm and then swung her stick back and forth as she walked so fast I thought we were going to break into a jog.
‘You know, Ruby,’ I said, ‘I’m not sure if I can get you a pony.’
‘Why not?’ she asked without slowing down in the slightest.
‘I don’t think they’re just going to give me one.’
‘Your father is the king – right?
‘Yes but …’
‘And you are a prince?’
‘Well, yeah.’
‘So just ask for a pony. What is your problem?’
The stable master saw us coming and greeted me at the entrance. He was an old one. It had gotten to the point where I could spot one from a mile away. ‘I am Pilib,’ he said without bowing or even offering to shake my hand.
‘Hi, I’m Conor.’
‘I know,’ he said. ‘You have your grandmother’s eyes.’
‘Oh, did you know Macha?’
‘Of course, she held the Capall yew wand. She had the supremacy over horses. When she lived in Duir she was only ever truly happy when she was here.’
As he spoke Pilib’s eyes glossed over lost in the memory. I remembered Spideog telling me that my grandmother loved him and Dahy at the same time. I wondered if I should add the stable master to that list.
Ruby hit me in the shin with her stick. ‘Ask him.’
‘Ah … Master Pilib, I was wondering if I could have a pony.’
‘Certainly. Am I safe to assume that it is for this little lady?’
‘I’m not a lady, I’m a young girl.’
I looked down at Ruby, astonished. ‘You speak Ancient Gaelic?’
‘Grandma taught me some words.’
‘OK,’ I said turning back to Pilib. ‘Can we get this young girl a young-girl-sized pony?’
‘Right this way, Prince Conor.’
The stables were quite an operation here at Castle Duir. He led us past what must have been a hundred stalls and then outside to a paddock that contained four ponies.
‘Spirited or docile?’ Pilib asked.
I toyed with the idea of answering, ‘Super spirited.’ That would teach her a lesson for putting me through this but I had to remember that no matter how bossy she was – the kid was blind. ‘Docile please.’
Pilib placed his fingers in his mouth and emitted a series of whistles. The ponies looked up and then at each other as if saying, ‘Who, me?’ The smallest of the ponies slowly walked over to us. She was glossy black, just like Ruby’s sunglasses. I picked Ruby up and placed her feet on the bottom wooden rail of the corral so she could reach over. The stable master whistled again, this time quietly without the fingers in the mouth and then pointed to the young girl. The pony walked slowly up to Ruby as I guided her hand to the animal’s snout.
‘This is Feochadán,’ Pilib said.
I remembered a story my father used to tell me when I was young about a sheep that got covered with feochadán. As Ruby tentatively stroked her pony’s nose I said, ‘It means thistle.’
A huge smile crossed Ruby’s face. It was the first smile I had ever seen on that face and it changed her from a bossy tyrant to the young girl that she was. ‘Thistle, that’s a lovely name for a pony. Hello Thistle.’
That pony looked up and I could have sworn it recognised its new name. A stable hand showed up with a saddle.
‘Oh no, I’m not teaching her to ride.’
‘On the day a young girl receives her first pony,’ Pilib said, ‘surely she must ride it. I wouldn’t worry, Feochadán is very easy to ride. Shall I get Acorn for you, Your Highness?’
Acorn, I thought, I did so want to see Acorn and it was a beautiful spring day. Well, I could see no harm in having a quick wander around Castle Duir.
Ruby allowed herself to be hoisted onto Thistle without any of her usual I can do it myself fuss. Acorn was brought to me and even though he tried to hide it, I could tell he was pleased to see me. I mounted up and we left through the stable exit. True to Pilib’s word, Thistle was the calmest mount I had ever seen. Ruby showed no signs of being scared. She sat on her pony like she had been doing it all of her life.
Outside the castle walls the sun from a cloudless sky stopped the cool spring breeze from being too cold.
‘I would like to talk to a tree,’ Ruby said.
‘You want to talk to a tree?’
‘Yes, now. Father said I would have a big bedroom, a pony and I would get to talk to a tree. I’d like to talk to a tree now.’
‘Wouldn’t you like to just ride for a bit and save some of the other stuff for later?’
‘No.’
The best tree to have a conversation with is, of course, Mother Oak but Glen Duir is almost a day away at a hard ride. With Thistle it would probably take a month. Well, Duir doesn’t mean oak for nothing. Castle Duir was certainly surrounded by oaks – so I just started for the nearest treeline.
When I got to the edge of the oak forest I had some misgivings. These trees didn’t have the same welcoming feel that Mother Oak has – but then what tree does? I dismounted and walked up to a huge snarly barked oak and wrapped my arms around it. Instantly I knew I was in big trouble.
Chapter Four (#ulink_282ed06a-4760-51c7-8b1e-3053d05fb491)
The Oak (#ulink_282ed06a-4760-51c7-8b1e-3053d05fb491)
This was different from any tree I had ever communicated with. When I touched it I knew instantly that I wouldn’t be able to let go until it released me. The world disappeared. All of my senses were lost except for the touch of where I was held to the bark. This tree didn’t talk, it probed my mind. What it found it brought to the fore and what it found was stuff that I had buried for a reason.
I was in grade school and all of the kids were bullying Jimmy Murphy. Jimmy was overweight and crap at sports. I just stood there. I should have done something but I just stood there. I liked Jimmy but I just couldn’t be seen being his friend. Then the memory I had long tried to forget. He came to me for help and I pushed him over. Aw Jimmy, I’m so sorry.
Then my mind conjured up the image of a Banshee growing up with his family. I saw his entire life, right up to the moment when I stabbed him at the edge of the Reedlands. He was the first man I had ever killed. As my sword pierced his chest I could see everyone he had ever known and loved watching me with eyes filled with hate. I tried to protest, I tried to say that I didn’t mean to kill him. That he was trying to kill me. But the words wouldn’t come. My mind was not my own. I felt a pain rise in my chest.
That Banshee was replaced by another. This one I knew. This one I loved. I was lying on my sleeping roll the night before we snuck into Castle Duir. Don’t make me watch this, I tried to scream. I tried to pull away but my hands, like they were latched onto a high-voltage wire, wouldn’t let go. I remember that night. He came to talk to me but I was too tired and I sent him away, but as this memory progressed, instead of sending him away, I sat up and said, ‘What’s on your mind, cuz?’
He told me about his plans to kill Cialtie. I told him he was nuts and talked him out of it. After Cialtie was kicked out of Castle Duir – Fergal lived. We talked and drank. He met a lovely girl and I was his best man at the wedding. At the wedding reception he stood and tapped his wineglass with a spoon. He turned to me and said, ‘I’d like to propose a toast to the man who saved my life …’ The memories abruptly ran in reverse and then the scene in the camp played as it really happened. I fobbed Fergal off and then I watched as the next day Cialtie humiliated and killed him. Then I saw it again … and again … and again. The pain in my chest intensified. My head felt like it was going to explode. I watched again as the sword pierced his chest. I watched but this time the man who was wielding the sword – was me.
I screamed.
I was lost. Down so dark a well that I couldn’t see the top. The walls of the well weren’t made of stone or dirt, they were made of … me. I was lost deep in my own mind. Deeper even than after the shock of killing the Banshee at the edge of the Fililands. But it was safe down there. Up there was The Tree. The Tree that grew its roots into my memories and plucked out of them everything I had ever regretted and feared. I was safe down here. I had to shut down; I couldn’t let him into the brain cells that contained the faces of the scores of Banshees and Brownies I had killed during the battle of the Hall of Knowledge. I wouldn’t survive that. Protests, like I had no choice and We were at war, cut no mustard with the oak. I couldn’t let him in there – I was safe in my well. I wasn’t ever coming up. I was safe in my well I was never coming up. I was …
The walls of my well, the walls of my self, my refuge, started to shake. A far-off voice called my name but they would never find me. I was deep, deep in my …
The voice became louder but still it was tiny, tinny, miles away. I could never be harmed … would never let him …
The walls of my sub-subconscious shook more. The voice … I heard the voice. It was … it was … Ruby. I laughed. You’ll never find me down here, Ruby. I’m safe. Safe from the forest of trees … I’m safe. But then I heard her scream. It was that high-pitched piercing scream that she does. The one her father calls The Migraine Scream. I forced myself to think. Where are you, Ruby? It doesn’t matter I am here and I … I am safe. But where are you Ruby? You were with me. I took you riding. You are alone and blind in the Forest of Duir. But I’m safe here. But little Ruby you are not. I must … safe. Safe here. Safe. No. Save. Save her. I must save her.
I reached to the walls of the well. No. I forced myself to think. Not a well – the walls of my mind. I placed my back against a corner of my brain and I climbed. I climbed. I climbed to the sound of that scream. I still couldn’t see anything but the further I went, the closer the sound became. It got so loud it hurt.
I opened my eyes to see Ruby taking another big breath in preparation for another scream. I reached up to stop her but my arm was blocked by a white bed sheet. As she screamed again I freed my hand and caught her by the arm.
‘Ruby,’ I said.
She stopped, smiled and then started hopping around. ‘You see,’ she almost sang, ‘it worked. It worked. I told you it would work.’
I was very confused. I was indoors and in a clean bed. All around me people were rushing into the room. Presumably to see what all the screaming was about. I looked to my left and saw Dad chuckling.
‘Dad? What happened?’
‘I’ve been waiting three days to ask you that,’ he answered.
‘Why was Ruby screaming?’
‘I have no idea,’ he said. ‘She has been waiting by your side for most of the three days that you’ve been in this coma. Just a minute ago she said to me, “Can I try something?” I said yes and she started screaming.’
‘And it worked!’ Ruby said returning to my bed and bouncing her arms off the mattress. ‘Daddy always said my scream could wake the dead and it can. It can, it can. It can. I’m going to tell Daddy.’ And she was off.
‘Where am I?’
‘You’re in one of Fand’s healing rooms.’
‘How did I get here?’
Dad pulled up a chair. ‘That’s an interesting story. Three days ago, the sergeant at arms was shocked to find a seven-year-old blind girl screaming at the Great Gates of Duir. She told him that you were in trouble and he sent a detail out to investigate. They found you curled up on the ground at the edge of the oak perimeter. Ruby says you went out there to talk to a tree – but you’re not that stupid – are you?’
‘Well,’ I said, ‘Ruby wanted to talk to a tree. I, of course, would have liked to have introduced her to Mother Oak but she was too far away …’
‘So you just went out and wrapped your arms around any old oak?’ Dad was almost shouting. ‘What is wrong with you?’
‘What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with that tree? It was like it grew roots into my head.’
‘Didn’t anybody ever tell you about the Oaks of Duir?’
‘No. No one did and whose fault is that – do you think?’
That stopped Dad’s anger, ‘Oh, well, I guess I should have told you.’
‘You think?’
‘Yeah, sorry. ’
‘So what did that tree do to me?’
‘Oaks are dangerous trees, son. If you even brush past one it can snare you. We seem to have no defence against them. They can access our memories and then manipulate our emotions. That’s one of the things that makes Mother Oak so wonderful. She searches out the best in people and reminds you that you are a good person but not all oaks are so affirmative. In fact, almost none are. For the most part, oaks are nasty pieces of wood. I liked to think of them as the junkyard dogs of Castle Duir.’
‘Gosh, and I thought yews were the dangerous ones.’
‘Yews can snare you without touching them but yews aren’t nasty. Yews are the judges of The Land – oaks are the criminals.’
‘But yews can kill you, right?’ I asked.
‘True,’ said Dad, ‘but oaks can drive you mad. Speaking of which – are you OK?’
‘I think so, the worst part was …’
‘You don’t have to tell me. I assure you that whatever the oak stirred up in your mind is nowhere near as bad as he made it seem.’
‘Yeah, it was awful, all of the stuff that filled my head but the oak was right about one thing. I did let Fergal down.’
‘We all dropped the ball on that one, son. We should have seen it coming but never forget – the one who stuck the sword in Fergal was Cialtie.’
Fand entered and told us that there was a host of people wanting to visit with me. Dad picked up a vial from the bedside table.
‘Your mother told me to give you this as soon as you awoke and seemed OK.’
‘I’m fine Dad, I don’t need any medicine.’
‘So you want me to go back to your mother and say that you are defying her?’
I looked at him and frowned. ‘You wouldn’t do that – would you?’
‘Hey, this is your mother we’re talking about. You’re on your own here, pal.’
I took the vial of liquid. ‘OK, I’ll take it,’ I said, ‘but I would really like to …’ That’s the thing about medicines in Tir na Nog – you don’t have to wonder if they are working. There was no possible way I could have even finished that sentence and whatever I thought I wanted to do was instantly of no concern to me. I was back down in my well but this time it was only about six inches deep and lined with satin. Dad said I passed out with a huge smile on my face.
I woke to a question. ‘Are you nuts?’
‘No, I’m OK; the oak tree didn’t drive me mad,’ I said before I opened my eyes.
‘Oh, that’s a huge relief,’ the voice said with an uncaring tone that I didn’t like. I opened my eyes to see a very angry Brendan looming over me. I instantly sat up and backed into the headboard – he looked like he was going to hit me. ‘What were you thinking?’
‘I … I …’
‘Nora and I didn’t know where Ruby was and then you plop her on a horse and take her out to the most dangerous forest in The Land – where you abandon her – on a horse.’
Second most dangerous forest, and it was a pony, I said – to myself, because I knew if I said that to Brendan, there would have been some police brutality.
‘You’re right, I’m sorry,’ I said, ‘I wasn’t thinking.’
‘You’re damn right you weren’t thinking. She could have been killed, or driven insane. What possessed you to do it?’
‘Ruby showed up in my room and said that you promised her a pony but were being slow about it.’
‘So you just went and got her a pony?’
‘Well,’ I shrugged, ‘she’s kinda hard to say no to.’
Brendan relaxed and sat down. ‘Yeah, I can’t argue with that, but you’ve got to remember that even though she acts like she’s forty-two she’s only twelve.’
‘I know, and I’m really sorry. I promise it won’t happen again and I won’t take her anywhere without you knowing about it.’
He patted me on the head like I was a schoolboy. ‘You are forgiven, Mr O’Neil. So,’ he said, changing the subject, ‘how are you?’
‘I’m fine. Dad said I was out of it for three days.’
‘The oak roughed you up a bit, eh?’
‘The specifics of what happened are fading now. All I remember is that he made me remember every bad thing I had ever done and I couldn’t stop it. It was horrible.’
‘As bad as being arrested for your dad’s murder?’
‘I don’t want to bruise your ego, Detective Fallon, but compared to the oak – you’re a pushover.’
A commotion outside the door made us both turn. A woman was screaming and guards were shouting.
‘O gods,’ Brendan said, ‘I might be a pushover but my mother is not. If she gets in here she’s going to tear your head off.’
The door opened and a very fierce looking Nora stomped towards me in a way that reminded me of an attacking Banshee. I looked to my left and saw there was a vial of that medicine on my bedside table. I grabbed it and downed it in one. Nora started screaming. I heard it but really didn’t care as I snuggled blissfully down into the satin bed of my unconsciousness.
When you take one of Mom/Fand’s potions you really do go out. No dreams, no visions, no nothing. I had no idea how long I had been asleep. It could have been days or minutes. When I woke up I opened one eye and had a look around. Sitting at my bedside, reading a book, was Essa.
She was back to her beautiful young-looking self. I just watched as she brushed a wisp of hair away from her forehead with a gesture that I knew oh so well.
‘Hey, old lady,’ I said and then braced myself. Essa had been plenty mad at me for so much of the time that I knew her that I was never sure if our meeting was going to be pleasant or not. But then she smiled and my body relaxed and my heart pounded.
‘Hi, I … was worried about you.’
I looked around the room to see if anybody else was there. ‘You talkin’ to me?’
She laughed. ‘Yes I am. Are you OK?’
I sat up. ‘I am now.’ There was an awkward silence where we just stared at each, other until I broke it with, ‘You look good without the wrinkles and the grey hair.’
‘Why, thank you,’ she said with a nod of her head.
‘What’s it like drinking Tuan’s blood?’
‘Gross but kind of – wonderful. I haven’t felt this good in years. I have tons of energy.’
‘Maybe I should order a green dragon cocktail for myself?’
‘Maybe we should get my father to whip up some Tuan blood wine?’
We both laughed. It was nice – normal. Could it be that I was forgiven? I wondered. Could Essa and I ever be – normal?
The question was cut short by the sound of bare feet slapping against the stone floor. I was smothered in kisses even before I could see whose lips were administering them. Not that I had to look, there’s only one mermaid in all of The Land that greets me like that.
‘Oh Conor,’ kiss, kiss, ‘I have been so worried about you,’ kiss, kiss, kiss.
‘Hi Graysea,’ I garbled between smooches, ‘have you met Essa?’
The introduction had the desired effect of getting Graysea to let up on my face.
‘I remember Essa,’ Graysea said in a tone I had never heard from her before. ‘The first time I saw her she hit you in the head with a stick.’
I expected Essa to storm off, hopefully without hitting me in the head, but instead she stood her ground. ‘What are you still doing here?’
Oh my, I thought to myself, this has the potential to turn into a serious cat fight – or a cat and fish fight and they usually don’t turn out very well for the fish. I know it was cowardly of me – I reached for the bedside table but, damn it, there wasn’t any of that knock-out medicine there.
‘Where else should I be but by my beloved Conor’s side?’
To be perfectly honest I wasn’t the only reason she was still here – Graysea had nowhere else to go. When the Mertain King found out that she had stolen his dragon’s blood to give to me, he banished her.
Essa was close to snarling when she said, ‘I can think of several places I would rather you to be.’
‘Essa,’ I said as gingerly as I could, ‘Graysea helped me escape from a very difficult situation.’
‘Oh, did she?’ the Princess said. ‘And what other situations did she help you in or out of?’
‘I don’t understand you,’ my mermaid said with her usual tilt of the head. ‘Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be mourning the loss of your fiancé?’
I instantly popped up on my knees on the mattress between them. Essa had stepped back in what I recognised as a preparation to spring. I really didn’t want to be in the middle of this and suspected that any second I was going to get the worst of it.
‘Everyone out,’ came a command from the doorway. Dad was standing there in his drill suit. He wore that kingly face that made the two women snap to attention and then quickly leave. Neither said goodbye to me as they never really took their eyes off each other for the entire exit.
‘Thank you,’ I said when the Princess and the mermaid were out of earshot.
‘Don’t thank me too soon,’ Dad said, throwing me the clothes that he had been carrying. ‘Your mother and Fand have given you a clean bill of health, so come with me – it’s time for some training.’
‘Training for what?’
‘We’re going to launch an assault on the Oracle of Mount Cas.’
I thought about the prospect of going into battle again and then thought about the skirmish that Dad had just saved me from. War didn’t seem that bad at all.
Chapter Five (#ulink_dda3a7a5-7436-512f-baba-245d4d760f7a)
Graysea and Essa (#ulink_dda3a7a5-7436-512f-baba-245d4d760f7a)
I was back in Dahy’s boot camp. This time it was worse than the first time. The first time I knew I didn’t know anything. This time I thought I knew everything and Dahy proved to me that I once again knew nothing. We were learning a new technique. The master didn’t have a name for it so I called it ninja school – ’cause that’s what it felt like. None of us were allowed to execute any of our showy spins or flip manoeuvres. Every movement had to be minimal. All over the armoury, where we practised, were wooden dowels balanced upright with feathers perched on top. Every time one of us disturbed a feather, or worse, knocked over a dowel, Dahy would shoot us in the legs with a crossbow bolt that had a woollen ball stuck on the end. If you think that doesn’t sound like it would hurt – then think again.
Araf was really good at it. It wasn’t until I saw him in a room full of feathers did I realise just how economical a fighting style he had. Except for his figure of eight propeller-like stick move, Araf hardly had to change his technique at all. Essa was lucky she didn’t have to learn this stuff. Without all of her flipping and twirling she would have been very unhappy. And when Essa is unhappy – everyone is unhappy.
Gerard, Essa’s father, forbade her to go into the Oracle’s house. She wasn’t about to let her father boss her around like that but when Gerard threatened to withdraw all of Castle Duir’s wine shipments – Oisin took Essa off active duty. She was furious and Dad had to remind her that he was, like, a king. She stormed off kicking anything, and anyone, in her path. In short, Essa was to be avoided, but I was doing that already.
Even though our practice was deadly serious it was also fun. Dad joined us and so did Mom and Aunt Nieve. The ladies had a hard time casting spells without all of that dramatic wicked-witch arm waving. Dad, who already had, like, a hundred years’ worth of Dahy tutelage, just seemed to do whatever the master told him to do without any effort at all. One time I pushed Dad over, just to see if Dahy would shoot the king with his crossbow. He didn’t, he shot me.
Brendan trained with us but he wasn’t going either. He wanted to come, just like he wanted to ask the yew trees if he could use Spideog’s bow, but he had a responsibility to his daughter Ruby not to put himself in harm’s way.
‘And actually,’ he confided to me one day at lunch, ‘I’m in no hurry to see that Oracle guy again. If I recall he kicked our butts good with just a flick of the wrist.’
I pointed that out to Dahy but he said he had a plan. So by day we continued to practise our non-feather-disturbing fighting techniques and by night I rubbed healing salve into the black and blue bruises on my legs that Dahy gave me with his crossbow.
The banging on my bedroom door would have busted any Real World door off its hinges but Duir doors are made of hardy stuff.
‘Conor,’ the voice on the other side bellowed, ‘I want to talk to you.’ I knew who it was right away – everyone in the castle was talking about it. New wine is news around here but when it’s delivered by the master winemaker himself – that’s big news.
I opened the door and there stood the largest of all of the larger-than-life characters in Tir na Nog. Gerard stepped into the doorway, blocking out all of the light beyond. In his hand he held a metal bucket with a piece of cloth over the top – it didn’t look like a weapon but I kept my eye on it.
He strode further into the room, forcing me to back up, and said, ‘If I didn’t know better I would think that you have been hiding from me.’
‘I … maybe I have been,’ I confessed.
‘Why would you do that?’
‘I guess you haven’t spoken to Essa yet?’
Gerard frowned and placed his bucket on the floor. ‘Oh, I have spoken to my daughter all right. She is mighty mad at you and this – what did she call her – “fishy floozy” of yours.’
‘That’s why I’ve been avoiding you,’ I said.
‘Let me get this straight, you think that because my daughter is angry with you, that I will be too.’
‘Aren’t you?’
He came at me with his arms outstretched. I had a brief flashback of the bear attack in the Pookalands. He wrapped his arms around me and gave me one of his laughing hugs that lifted me off the ground. ‘Oh my boy,’ he said, and I relaxed even though my ribs were threatening to crack. ‘If Essa is mad at you, then you already have more enemies than any one man can stand.’ He let go of me and I tested my diaphragm to see if I could still breathe. ‘Good gods and monsters, if I had to be angry at everyone that my little darling was irritated with – I would not have any friends or customers at all.’
‘So you’re not here to give me the “don’t you dare hurt my daughter” speech?’
Gerard laughed, picked up his bucket and moved over to the table on the other side of the room. ‘Oh, I don’t give that speech. I usually just try to discourage Essa’s beaus for their own safety.’
We laughed at that as he whipped the cloth off his bucket like a TV magician. ‘I’ve brought you a gift.’ Buried deep in snow, with only their necks sticking out, were four bottles. I grabbed one, releasing it from its icy bed.
‘Beer!’ I shouted.
‘I remembered that last time you were in Castle Muhn you said you wanted beer that is “lighter, fizzier and colder” – well, try this.’ He reached over and placed his hand on the neck of the bottle and mumbled. The cork began to spin and then rise until it shot out of the bottle with a satisfying pop.
I took a quick gulp to catch the foam from overflowing onto the floor. Gerard scrutinised my face for any hint of criticism. ‘Well?’ he asked as I wiped my mouth with my sleeve.
‘I think you should give up on this wine stuff and become a full-time brewer.’
Gerard beamed like a child who had just received a stick-on star on his homework.
‘Did I hear someone shouting beer?’ It was Brendan at the door.
‘Brendan,’ I said. ‘Come in and meet Essa’s father, Lord Gerard of Muhn.’
‘Oh,’ Brendan said, a bit surprised while improvising a bow. ‘How do you do? I’m a big fan of your wine.’
‘Well, come in and try my beer,’ Gerard said without standing.
Brendan hesitated and said, ‘Actually I was just passing with my mother.’ Brendan reached into the hallway and took his mother’s hand and guided her into the room. ‘Lord Gerard, may I introduce Nora Fallon.’
I hadn’t seen Brendan’s mother since she arrived in the Hall of Spells. She was dressed in a green felt-ish tunic with gold embroidery and leather trousers – pretty much what everyone around here wears and it suited her to a T.
Gerard jumped to his feet, and bowed. ‘Of course I have heard about both of you. Welcome home, Druids. Please join us in a drink.’
Nora bowed. ‘Thank you, my lord, but no. I have to tend to my granddaughter.’ Brendan started to go with her when Nora said to her son, ‘No, please stay. I know how much you are missing beer.’ She bowed once again to us and left.
‘Your mother,’ Gerard said after seating Brendan and uncorking a beer for him, ‘is … old.’
‘Yes, try not to point that out to her when you meet her next. She’s getting a bit tired of that.’
‘But according to my daughter a couple of drops of blood from that remarkable Pooka friend of yours would change that – would it not?’
‘Tuan has offered my mother some dragon blood but she says she feels great and likes herself the way she is.’
‘Well, it sounds as if your mother knows her own mind. I like that in a woman.’ Gerard slapped Brendan on the shoulder, changing the subject. ‘My daughter speaks highly of you, Druid.’
‘Well, she hasn’t hit me yet,’ the cop said.
Gerard laughed, ‘It’s a shame you are not going on our little expedition but I understand about parental responsibilities.’
‘Wait,’ I said. ‘Are you coming?’
‘Oh yes,’ Gerard said, ‘Oisin has summoned me – I am an integral part of the plan.’
‘Look it’s a three and a half day ride to the base of Mount Cas,’ I said. ‘There is no reason to leave at dawn. We can leave at, like, ten and still be there way before it’s dark on the fourth day.’
‘Son, we leave at dawn – that’s how it is.’
‘Who says? Where is it etched in stone that all expeditions must leave at dawn?’
Finally Dad gave me one of his patented withering stares that, although he looked like my annoying younger cousin, still worked.
‘Yes sir. See you in the morning.’
‘Before the morning,’ he called after me.
So here I was, yawning while dragging my pack on the ground behind me, trying to get some kind of enthusiasm for the adventure ahead.
Believe it or not, I was early. The only ones in the stable before me were Gerard and four brawny soldiers. I watched and yawned as they hoisted a huge wine barrel on to Gerard’s cart.
‘Are we planning to get sloshed on this trip?’
‘I wish,’ Gerard said. ‘There is no wine in that barrel.’
‘What’s in there?’
‘Salt water.’
I was about to ask why we needed a barrel of salt water when I was blinded by a pair of hands covering my eyes from behind. ‘Guess who?’ said the unmistakable voice.
‘Is it a person or a fish?’ I asked.
‘Both.’
I turned to see the ever bubbly Graysea standing behind me. She kissed me on both cheeks and said, ‘Good morning.’
‘Good morning to you too – how nice of you to see me off.’
‘Oh, I’m not seeing you off. I’m going with you.’
‘Graysea, this is a very dangerous mission. I really don’t think you should come.’
‘Think again, son,’ Dad said while arriving around the corner with his mount.
I walked Dad out of earshot. ‘Why is Graysea coming with us?’
‘Because we are going up against a tough customer and I want a healer with us, and I have never seen anything like that Mertain healing power of hers.’
‘Yes, Dad, but she’s …’ I tried to remember what matron had said about Graysea. ‘She’s a sensitive fishy.’
‘I think you underestimate your mermaid, son. Graysea saved your butt out there in the ocean and defied her king. She can handle a three-day hike.’
‘Don’t you want me with you?’ Graysea asked when I got back to her.
‘No, I … I’m just worried about you.’
‘It’ll be fun.’
‘Graysea, we are going into battle.’
She put on her serious face but then smiled that room-lighting smile of hers. ‘Well, it will be fun until we get there.’
I just couldn’t resist the infectious joy of that girl’s smile. ‘You’re right,’ I agreed, ‘welcome along.’
Who knew what we were going into? At least until then I would have some pleasant company along the way. And luckily Essa wasn’t coming so I wouldn’t be caught in the middle of a week-long oestrogen nightmare.
Araf showed up and I grunted at him – I’ve discovered that wordless communication is best with the taciturn Imp. Mom, Nieve and Dahy all dramatically feigned surprise at me being ready before them. I saddled up Acorn (I was tempted to take Cloud but she was Brendan’s horse now) and then helped Gerard hitch up the wagon to his monsta-horses.
Actually it was nice being early and not having everybody scowling at me to hurry. I was mounted up, waking up and starting to feel good about this expedition when my spirits were dashed by the arrival of the last two of the party – Tuan and Essa.
I cantered Acorn over to Dad. ‘I thought you forbade Essa from coming?’ I said in a harsh whisper.
‘Gerard had forbidden her to enter the Oracle’s house on Mount Cas so she and Tuan are performing a different task.’
‘You did this on purpose.’
‘What, son, do you accuse me of doing on purpose?’
‘You know perfectly well what you did. You invited Graysea and Essa on this trip so you could watch me suffer.’
Dad, who had been wearing the slightest of smirks, became gravely serious. ‘Essa is a very important part of Dahy’s plan and as I said before, Graysea is the finest healer I have ever seen. The world does not revolve around you, son. I would never ask anyone to join an undertaking as perilous as this just to annoy you.’ He kicked his horse away but as he did he said, ‘That’s just an added bonus.’
We took the main road out and travelled three abreast. On my left was Graysea and on my right was Essa. No one said a word. I was even afraid to shift in my saddle lest the noise break the agonisingly painful silence. Dad looked around and didn’t even try to stifle his chuckle. This was going to be a long, long trip. I thought, maybe if I’m lucky I’ll die a horrible death on Mount Cas. At least then I’ll be saved from a trip home with these two.
Chapter Six (#ulink_74e414e2-4e2c-5926-9082-45218b06977a)
The Yew House (#ulink_74e414e2-4e2c-5926-9082-45218b06977a)
We travelled like that for a day and a half. No one said a word. Anybody who knows me understands that I’m uneasy with uncomfortable silences. This was pure torment. I thought my head was going to explode. On the first night I ate and went straight to bed. I was hoping I could get to sleep quickly so I would have someone in dreamland to talk to, but sleep wouldn’t come. I was sharing a tent with Araf and still wasn’t asleep by the time he came to bed. I was so desperate for conversation I said, ‘Say something.’
‘What would you like me to say?’ he answered, without the puzzlement in his voice that he should have had.
‘I don’t care – anything. You can tell me about crop rotation if you want.’
‘Really?’ he said, with more excitement than I have ever heard from him before.
‘Yes, anything.’
So off he went babbling on about plants and seeds and hoeing and dirt and bugs. He was so wrapped up in his subject I’m sure he didn’t notice me nodding off with a smile on my face. Anything was better than the silence I had been enduring sandwiched between the icy glares of those two women.
I got a reprieve the next day when Essa dropped back to have a planning chat with Tuan.
Graysea startled me when she spoke. ‘Do you still care for her?’
‘Who?’ I said lamely.
‘Conor, I’m stupid but not that stupid.’
‘You’re not stupid,’ I said, ‘you’re the cleverest mermaid I know.’
‘And how many mermaids do you know?’
‘Well, that’s not the point.’
‘No it’s not,’ she said. ‘The point, which you seem to be avoiding, is whether or not you still have feelings for Essa.’
‘Well, that’s complicated.’
‘And you think I am too stupid to understand. Is that it?’
‘No,’ I said looking around hoping that a pack of wolves would attack and get me out of this conversation. ‘Essa and I have a history.’
‘You still haven’t answered the question,’ she said and then mercifully continued so I didn’t have to. ‘I just don’t understand. When you were on the island with me she was engaged to that Turlow fella – right?’
‘Yes.’
‘So she is mad at you for being with me when she was engaged to somebody else. That doesn’t seem fair.’
‘Well, ah …’
‘And she hits you all the time.’
‘Well, I don’t know about all the time … but often.’
‘And is it true that last summer she tried to kill you?’
‘She … she didn’t try to kill me,’ I stammered, ‘she was just part of a plot to have me killed.’
Graysea shook her head and sighed. ‘And people think I’m stupid.’ She kicked her horse and sped ahead.
Gosh, I thought, when you add it all up like that she had a point. Araf had silently sidled up next to me. I turned to him and said, ‘What do you think, big guy?’
‘About what?’
‘About my women problems?’
‘I think,’ the Imp said, ‘I was more comfortable with questions about crop rotation.’
I got another reprieve that night when they both ignored me. Essa finally came up to me after dinner. A firefly sat on her shoulder illuminating one side of her face.
‘Your little mackerel is lounging in her barrel.’
‘She is not a mackerel, she’s a Mertain. She is a healer from the Grotto of Health on the Mertain islands. And she is not lounging. She is recharging – preparing herself so she can help any of us in case we are injured.’
Essa was taken aback by my tone. She stood.
‘Maybe you would prefer to join her in her bath tub.’
‘Maybe I would. At least she’s not mad at me all the time and she never hits me with sticks.’
Essa looked at me like she had never seen me before. I stood and faced her. ‘Anyway, I haven’t seen you for an hour or so – are you sure you haven’t gotten engaged to someone in that time?’
Essa looked like she had been slapped. ‘You promised you would never mention that.’
‘No I didn’t. You told me not to mention it. I never got a chance to promise. Well, maybe I’m tired of being bossed around by you.’
It didn’t take long for the surprised Essa to kick back. ‘Fine,’ she hissed. ‘I hope you and your fish will be happy together.’ She stomped away, leaving her firefly to flutter around confused, and then she turned. I took a step back expecting a blow. ‘Now that I think of it, you and your fish are perfect together – because you’re an eel.’
I tried riding with Araf the next day but he insisted on continuing his dissertation on agriculture so I dropped to the rear to have a long overdue catch-up with Tuan. Araf didn’t even notice I was gone.
‘Councillor Tuan,’ I said, ‘I’m surprised you’re still in Duir. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great having you around, but shouldn’t you be in the Pinelands impressing girls with your super-Pooka act?’
‘Girls,’ Tuan sighed, ‘are the reason I am here.’
‘Oh?’ I said with my inflection going up.
‘My mother wants me to marry.’
‘Oh,’ I said with my tone going down.
‘Yes, Mother wants me to marry a mousy woman from the council.’
‘When you say mousy, Tuan, do you mean she’s small or that she changes into a mouse?’
‘Both.’
‘And you’re not into rodents?’
‘It’s not that …’
‘What is it then?’
Tuan looked around to make sure no one could overhear. ‘There’s this girl in Castle Duir.’
‘Oh, do tell.’
‘This mustn’t get back to my mother.’
‘I’ll be as quiet as the mouse you’re cheating on.’
Tuan snarled at me then straightened up in his saddle and said, ‘Never mind.’
‘No, no, I’m sorry T. I promise I won’t make jokes. Who is she?’
‘I better not say.’
‘Aw come on, what’s the big secret?’
‘She is an Imp.’
‘Oh, and Mom’s not into mixed marriages?’
‘Mother thinks that Pooka power as strong as mine shouldn’t be diluted.’
‘So she’s hooking you up with a mouse?’
Tuan shrugged.
‘Why don’t you just tell your mother to get stuffed?’ I said. ‘You do realise you’re a dragon?’
Tuan laughed. ‘Being one of the most powerful creatures in The Land has little sway with my mother.’
‘Yeah, big guy,’ I said, nodding. ‘I guess I can relate to that.’
We made good time and got to the base of Mount Cas on the evening of the third day. As we set up a base camp, I expected Dad to make some comment like, ‘Aren’t you glad we left at dawn?’ but all he gave me was that look that said it all. Where do parents learn that all-encompassing look? Is there some sort of instructional video you get when you have your first kid? Does it come with a mirror to practise in?
Gerard brought out a couple of bottles of dark red wine. It was fabulous. I wasn’t worried about the upcoming confrontation until I tasted it. When Gerard brings out the special stuff then you know there’s going to be hard times ahead.
That night I dreamt about the Oracle. He leaned forward into the light. As his wispy grey hair blew in a breeze, his wrinkled eyes smiled at me. Then with the tiniest flick of the wrist, he sent me sailing off the side of Mount Cas. I screamed all the way down until the moment I hit the ground. I sat bolt upright in my tent and stared into the darkness, willing my breath to calm and my heartbeat to return to normal. Was that just a nightmare, I wondered – or a prophecy?
We set out long before dawn. Every campaign seemed to be getting earlier and earlier. Soon we would be leaving before we even went to bed. Essa, Tuan, Gerard and Graysea stayed behind in base camp. The last time I climbed Mount Cas it took us three days but that was in the winter. This day was dry and sunny and we set a ridiculous pace. We hiked way into the cold night and found a place to camp on the opposite side of the mountain from where the Yew House stood. We didn’t know if the Oracle had enough power over the mountain to cause avalanches, but didn’t want to chance it.
Mom sat next to me over what was laughingly called dinner. ‘Are you OK?’ she asked.
‘Other than the fact that my legs feel like jelly after that climb and I have to sleep on cold hard stone on the edge of a cliff the night before I re-tangle with the nastiest sorcerer I have ever seen – yeah, I’m fine.’
‘I was talking about your girlfriend problems.’
‘Oh, well I don’t think I have a problem any more ’cause after this trip I probably won’t have any girlfriends.’
‘Well, that would suit me fine. Then I would have you all to myself.’
She put her arm around me and gave me a hug that made me feel like I was five. I placed my head on her shoulder and closed my eyes. I was awfully tired. I don’t know if it was Shadowmagic or just Mom magic but the next thing I noticed I was in my sleeping roll and Dahy was shaking me awake and offering me a cup of breakfast tea.
If yesterday my legs felt like jelly, today they felt like lead. Dad, in front, set a stride that some would call a sprint. We only slowed down on the parts of the trail that were visible from the Yew House above, then we would press against the rock face and slink along in single file so as not to be seen.
It was nightfall when we reached the wide shelf where, months before, Araf and I had almost fallen off the side when caught in an ice slide. If we had been spotted during our ascent, we figured that the Brownie guards would be there to meet us as they had done the last time. Since they didn’t, we decided to camp the night there and meet the Oracle guy in the morning. We didn’t risk a fire but Nieve got some water hot using gold wire she incanted over and then dropped into the kettle. Dad hadn’t spoken all day and looked kinda off. I made him a cup of tea and then pointed to the stone wall next to him. ‘Excuse me sir, is this seat taken?’ I asked.
He was lost in thought but then finally said, ‘No,’ without even noticing any irony in the question.
‘You OK, Dad?’
He noticed me then and said, ‘Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.’
‘You know I’m old enough that you don’t have to play Strong Dad for me. You’re obviously distracted. What’s on your mind?’
‘It’s nothing. I’m just mulling over tomorrow.’
‘Or maybe you’re nervous about meeting a mother that you hardly even remember?’
Dad looked shocked – then smiled. ‘How did you get so smart?’
‘I actually have experience in meeting a mother for the first time in adulthood, remember?’
‘Yeah, I guess you do. Any advice?’
‘Yes, I do,’ I said, sipping my tea. ‘Get some rest, ’cause it’s nothing you can prepare for.’
The next morning as we walked to the front porch of the Yew House, Dahy threw something off the side of the mountain. There was no one outside the house so we opened the door and let ourselves in. We obviously caught everyone napping. A Brownie saw us in the hallway and yelped like a puppy that had accidentally been trodden on. He scurried away and it wasn’t long before there was a wall of armed Brownies between us and the end of the hallway.
I recognised the tall Brownie in front as the one that, months earlier, I had pinned to a wall by the neck. I knew that these guys weren’t as tough as they looked.
‘You are not welcome here,’ tall guy said.
‘We are not looking for a welcome. We are looking for Macha,’ Dahy said.
They all flinched in surprise at the mention of her name. If I had any doubts that my grandmother was there they left me then.
Tall guy repeated himself. ‘You are not welcome here.’ This time he emphasised his words by levelling a crossbow at us. Or I should say started to level a crossbow at us, because he never got it even close to level. As soon as the weapon started to rise, Mom and Nieve performed some kind of magic. There was a flash of light and the Brownies went down like bowling pins.
‘Strike,’ I said, and Dad gave me a smile.
We walked the length of that dark stone cold corridor until we reached the yew door with the Eioho Rune carved into the finish.
‘Ready?’ Dahy asked and in response we fanned out into our rehearsed positions.
The room beyond was exactly as it had been the last time I was there. Light shining from round discs set into the ceiling refused to bounce off the pitch-black floors. On a dais in the centre of the room, bathed in shadows, sat the Oracle on his Yew Throne. You couldn’t see his face, only the outline of his hair and robe as both fluttered in the wind that whistled through the room.
We stepped through the doorway, spread out and awaited Dahy’s command.
I stood at the back and tried to be as inconspicuous as possible. I wasn’t interested in having my conversation with him pick up where it had last left off.
‘Where is Macha?’ Dahy demanded.
Oracle guy leaned in, letting the light hit his face for the first time. It was as effective as any lighting trick done in a Hollywood horror movie and I’m sure he did it for its impact. The next time I had to scare the crap out of someone I decided I would hire this guy to do my special effects.
‘The last time I spoke to a Lord of Duir, he had manners,’ he said, looking at Dahy, but then he turned to my father and said, ‘and the last time I spoke to a Lord of Duir, he spoke for himself.’
‘I have had reports of the reception you offered my son at his last visit,’ Dad said, ‘the time for manners was then.’
The Oracle cast an eye in my direction. I wish you’d leave me out of this, Dad, I thought to myself.
‘As for my general’s question,’ Dad continued, ‘I shall repeat it. Where is my mother?’
The Oracle started to smile and then sat back into the shadows and laughed. One of those bad-guy laughs that irritates everyone except the laugher. We waited.
‘I never thought I would see the day when the Lord of Duir would climb up my mountain only to say, ‘I want my mommy.’ He laughed again. I’m glad it was dark in there ’cause I smiled too.
‘Conor, welcome back,’ he said, wiping the smile from my face, ‘I see you have brought your Imp with you. But where are the archer and the Druid? Oh dear, did I kill them?’
‘No,’ I said trying hard not to let my voice wobble. ‘Not that you didn’t try.’
‘Impudent as ever,’ he said in a tone that almost had some warmth in it. ‘Someday that will get you killed.’
‘I would advise you not to threaten my son.’ Dad obviously had heard something different in his tone than I had.
‘Or what? Your Shadowwitch will cover me with sap?’ Oracle looked to Mom and Nieve. ‘Which one of you is the Daughter of Hazel that practises the forbidden lore?’
Mom stepped forward but didn’t say a word.
‘So who are you?’ the Oracle asked pointing to Nieve.
‘I am Nieve of Duir and I too want my mommy.’
That should have been funny, but the way my aunt said it made it sound menacing. Saying that, Oracle guy laughed – apparently he doesn’t menace easily.
‘Well, now that we are all introduced,’ the Oracle said rising, ‘it is time for you to go. Apologise to my Brownies on your way out.’
Dahy is not the kind of guy who lets emotions get in the way of his tactics but on this day, the arrogance of the Oracle and the anticipation of seeing Macha again got the best of him and he jumped the gun. He raised his banta and stepped towards the dais. All I remember of the next ten seconds was: G-forces, wind and pain. By the time I came back to my senses I saw that I, like everyone in my party, was pinned to the wall by a force of wind that made our faces scrunch up like astronauts during take-off. When I finally could force my head to move, I saw I was three feet off the ground.
Oracle guy was standing in front of his dais with his arms outstretched as dust and leaves swirled around him under the light from the ceiling discs. If before I thought that this plan was maybe a mistake, now, seeing Oracle guy looking so all-powerful, I wondered if this was actually a fatal mistake.
‘What arrogance,’ he said; his voice, carried on the wind, was so loud it made my head vibrate against the stone. ‘To imagine that sticks and swords – and even Shadowmagic are enough to defeat ME!’
Chapter Seven (#ulink_62ef011d-bba3-5fb5-aa07-514afb549ea7)
Diddo (#ulink_62ef011d-bba3-5fb5-aa07-514afb549ea7)
I tried to speak and then yell but the wind seemed to push my words back in to my head. I wasn’t party to the entire plan for this campaign but I was pretty sure that getting pinned to a wall wasn’t part of it. I could only hope that we got back on schedule before Oracle guy killed us.
The pressure of the wind was so intense that I was starting to have trouble breathing. Now that would be one for the books – being suffocated because of too much air. I looked to my left. Not because I wanted to, it was just that I could no longer keep my head straight. As my cheek pressed painfully against the stone wall I saw Mom moving her hand into her pouch. I don’t know how she did it, I couldn’t move a thing. Her hand came out with one of those gold and amber balls that she had invented. It was a hybrid weapon made from Real and Shadowmagic. I had never seen it fail to kick the crap out of anybody she had lobbed it at. Ever so slowly she brought her hand to her lips and incanted directly onto the ball. The gold and amber glowed and then despite the force of the wind it started towards the Oracle – but not for long. I heard him laugh through the howl as Mom’s bomb came back at her and silently exploded as it reached her chest. Normally I would have had to turn my head or cover my face at the brightness of it but all I could do was close my eyes. When the flash blindness finally receded to small black dots I saw that Mom was out cold. At least, I hoped she was just unconscious. For all I could tell she might have been dead.
The horror of that thought hit me at the same time as all the noise stopped. Blessed quiet filled the room as the wind and pressure ceased and I slid down the wall onto my feet. Mom crumpled to the ground. As I ran to her I heard Dahy’s voice shouting the word that I had taught him, ‘Ninja!’ My training kicked in and I slowed to a crawl. Mom looked like she was still breathing so I slowly turned to see that the rest of my team had already gently flowed into action. Oracle guy looked very confused. He waved his arms and flicked his wrists but in the windless chamber he seemed powerless.
I breathed a small sigh of relief, making sure I created no air current. We had all been working on the assumption that Oracle guy’s powers came from wind. It seemed not to be such a stretch after seeing how the Mertain harvested power from ocean currents. Days before, Tuan in the form of a crow had carried a parcel of stuff that Mom, Essa, Nieve and Fand had come up with. I know it sounds silly but it was like magic expanding cavity filler. As a test they had set off a teaspoon of it in Castle Duir. It filled the room with an amber coloured substance with the consistency of light pumice. It kept going into the hallway and for a minute Mom was worried that it was going to take over the entire floor. There were people back at the castle who were still trying to dig out the room.
Tuan had reconnoitred the mountain and discovered two large holes at about the height of the Yew Throne Room. We figured that if we plugged those holes, the wind in the chamber would stop and Oracle guy would be powerless. The Shadowmagic baton Dahy threw off the mountain just before we entered the Yew House was Essa’s signal to ride Dragon Tuan up to the summit, detonate the parcels and draught-proof the throne room. If Dahy hadn’t jumped the gun maybe we could have done all this without so much pain.
Once the wind stopped, subduing Oracle guy was easier than any of us expected. He was still trying to figure out what had happened to his powers when Nieve came up behind him and pinned him with one of her paralysing specials. As soon as he was incapacitated Dad and Nieve went to Mom. Nieve placed her hands on both sides of Mom’s head. She was like that for a long time before she said, ‘I think she will be fine, but I would like to get her to your mermaid as quickly as we can.’ I didn’t like hearing Nieve using words like ‘I think’. I sat and held Mom’s hand, not knowing what else to do.
Dahy made us all jump when he shouted into the darkness, ‘MACHA.’ Just the sound of that one word spoke the decades of loss the old warrior felt. Dad rose and stood beside him.
A form in a black hooded cloak seemed to appear out of the darkness as it stepped into the light. It made the hairs stand up on the back of my neck. I was half expecting the hood to drop back to reveal the face of The Grim Reaper. As if we were still in our ninja mode none of us even breathed. The reaper raised her hands and pushed back the hood. Amber hair, just like Nieve’s, fell across her face. As she pushed it away I saw her eyes. They weren’t dark brown like Dad’s and his sister’s but pale blue – like mine. Then I remembered something that Spideog had said to me: ‘You have your grandmother’s eyes, you know.’
No one said a word. Like a bunch of zombies, we all stood and stared at each other until I just couldn’t stand it any more.
‘Are you my grandmother?’ I asked.
She smiled at me then. It was strange. Not the grandmotherly smile that I had ever imagined. She was far too young looking and beautiful for that. ‘Yes, I am,’ she said. ‘I see you received my message.’ She looked to my father.
Dad stood stock still as she walked up to him, placed her hands on both sides of his face and tenderly kissed him on the forehead. ‘I thought, my son, I had lost you to the Real World and when I heard Conor’s tale of your strange illness, I thought I had lost you again. But here you are and looking fit and well.’
Dad was at a loss for words. They stared at each other and as every agonisingly long second passed, my father seemed to lose a year. When he finally spoke he sounded like a five-year-old. ‘Where have you been?’
Tears welled up in Macha’s eyes. ‘Here my son, locked in this dreadful place.’
Nieve stepped into the light and quietly said, ‘Hello Mother.’
Macha looked to her daughter and then took her hand. ‘You have become a proper sorceress, my child.’
Nieve could only nod yes.
Macha hugged her and then turned to Dahy. ‘General, can you take me away from here?’
‘I can, my Queen,’ Dahy said dropping to one knee.
My grandmother walked over to him, knelt down and placed her hand on his cheek. ‘Not your queen, Diddo, only me, Macha.’
‘Did you just call Dahy Diddo?’ I blurted.
Dahy stood and gave me a look that made me think he was going to snap me in half. And considering that Dahy can snap me in half, it was a pretty scary look.
‘Hey,’ I said, raising my hands in a gesture of surrender, ‘I’m sorry to break this tearful reunion, but we have an injured Shadowwitch here and I for one would sorely like to get the hell off this mountain. What do you say, guys?’
Dahy kicked into leader mode, with a little more chest-puffing gusto than normal. If I didn’t know better, I would have said he was showing off. ‘How many others are in the house?’ he asked Macha.
‘There are seven Brownies that live here,’ she replied, ‘but I think one is away from the mountain.’
‘Well, we took out six on the way in. Conor and Nieve, go see if the ones in the hallway are still down.’
Nieve and I opened the door and peeped around the corner. The pile of Brownies were still there but they were moaning and moving. Nieve dashed up and quickly poked all of them in the butt with one of her pins while I picked up the weapons.
The tall Brownie opened his eyes fully and then a look of panic crossed his face. ‘I cannot move my legs! What have you done to me?’
‘Relax,’ I said, trying to pat him on the shoulder but he took a swipe at me when I got close. ‘Seriously, chill. You just got pinned by one of my aunt’s specials. You’ll be fine in a couple of hours.’ He sat up and then pushed himself along the floor until he had his back to the wall. I felt sorry for him.
‘Where is Lugh?’
‘Lugh?’
‘Yes, the master of this house is Lugh. Lord of All. Where is he?’
As if to answer the Brownie’s question my party came into the hallway. Dad was carrying Mom and Araf had ‘The Lord of All’ hoisted over his shoulder like a bag of manure. Most of the Brownies, now conscious, watched with open mouths as their master was carried to the front door.
‘Did you kill him?’ the tall Brownie asked.
‘No,’ I said, ‘but we are taking him back to Castle Duir. You’re free now. Go back to the Brownielands, he no longer has a hold on you.’
He smiled at me then. One of those smiles that lets you know that the smile-ee knows something you don’t. ‘As long as he lives,’ he said, ‘we will never be free. We will await Lord Lugh’s return. It will not be long.’
I left them with a canteen of water and they left me with a feeling of … doom.
Outside, Dragon Tuan began to ferry all of us off the mountain. Early on in his dragon life, Tuan made it perfectly clear that he was not going to be an air taxi service for the House of Duir so this was a favour I really appreciated. I had no desire to ever see this mountain again and getting off it as fast as I could was a top priority.
Dad and the unconscious Mom went first, then Araf and the unconscious Lugh, followed by Dahy and Nieve. As my grandmother and I waited for Tuan to return she said, ‘I worried about you trying to get blood from a fire worm, I worried that I led you on an impossible task – never in my life did I imagine that you could enslave a dragon.’
As I started to reply, Dragon Tuan flapped up onto the shelf. We had to cover our faces to protect our eyes from the swirling dust. ‘Oh, I wish he was my slave,’ I shouted over the noise, ‘then I wouldn’t have to walk as much as I do.’
I took Macha by the arm and led her over to the green lizard. ‘Grandma, I would like you to meet my friend, Councillor Tuan.’ Tuan rocked his head back and blew a puff of fire that finished with a perfect smoke ring.
Macha bravely walked right up to him and patted him on the snout like he was a horse. Tuan dropped to one knee and lowered his head as Grandma said, ‘I am honoured to meet you, Councillor.’
The flight down was the scariest ride I had ever had with a dragon – and that included when Dragon Red tried to kill me. Tuan was so tired from all the upping and downing that he pretty much just dive-bombed off the mountain. I screamed like a little girl all the way down but Grandma didn’t make a peep even during the G-force-inducing last second level-out. When Tuan became Tuan again I promised I would punch him for that – immediately after I threw up.
I was expecting Macha to be open-mouthed like everyone else who witnesses Tuan’s transformation for the first time but when I looked at her, she had her eyes closed and her arms outstretched. I heard a snort from Acorn – looking not like the bold stallion that often gives me a hard time but more like a colt approaching his mother. That’s when I noticed that all the horses were doing the same thing. They slowly approached Macha with their heads down and then shivered with delight as my grandmother caressed each one of them. It was remarkable to watch. It was like she was part of them but also above them, like a horse god. Macha the Horse Enchantress – the yews had given her the power over horses, and there in front of us was the proof. She hugged each horse in turn. The look on her face was like a mother returning to her children after a long time away.
Mom was awake, sitting with her back against a rock, with a blanket on her lap and drinking willow tea when I found her. She gave me one of those forced smiles that let me know she was OK.
‘Hey Mom, it’s good to see you with your eyes open. You gave me a scare. How do you feel?’
‘Good, considering. Your Graysea is a remarkable healer. I’m starting to see what you see in her. I don’t think she is as witless as she would have us believe.’
‘That depends on which side of her brain she is using.’
‘Seriously?’
I nodded and she laughed but stopped right away and held her chest in pain.
‘I think you need another session. I’ll see if she’s up for it.’
I found Graysea and asked her if she could gill-up for Mom again. She said she was on her way to do just that now that she had seen that everyone else was OK. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Gerard’s big fist hand me a glass.
‘Is that wine?’
‘It’s something a bit stronger,’ the big man replied.
‘Good,’ I said, knocking whatever it was back in one. The whole world wobbled like I was about to do a flashback on a bad sitcom.
When I could risk moving again without falling over, Gerard said, ‘More?’
‘Yes please,’ I replied holding out my glass.
‘You wouldn’t have any of your wine with you, Gerard?’ Macha asked, coming over to the fire. Behind her stood all of the horses, like groupies awaiting the beckon of a prima donna rock star.
‘You know I do.’ Gerard poured her a glass and she took a sip with her eyes closed like it was a chalice filled with the elixir of youth.
‘Oh, it has been so long,’ she sighed.
‘It has indeed,’ Gerard said. ‘You look good for a dead woman.’
Macha smiled at him but he didn’t return it. ‘I’m surprised to find you here, winemaker. Thank you for coming to save me.’
‘Spend no thanks on me, my Queen, I came because of Dahy. I would follow that man to the gates of hell if he wished it and I will defend him from all harm.’
‘Well then let us both make sure no harm befalls him,’ Macha said, still smiling but not as much.
‘Let’s,’ Gerard said. ‘More wine?’
‘No,’ she said, placing her hand over the top of her glass. ‘I have been long away from your wine for too long. Like your company, too much of it would be overly intoxicating, but thank you.’ She handed me her empty glass and walked away.
‘So you two have met?’ I asked Gerard.
‘Oh yes,’ he replied. ‘We have met.’
Tuan offered to fly Mom home. She must have still felt pretty banged up ’cause she accepted. Oracle guy was given something that put him into a coma, and then stuffed in the barrel that just yesterday had held Graysea’s saltwater bath. For good measure he also had a paralysing pin stuck in his neck. I wanted to feel sorry for him but I once had travelled on a wagon in a barrel and I’m sure that it was much more comfortable to do it unconscious. Still I made sure he had a few pillows in there with him.
As Gerard hammered the barrel lid closed I said, ‘Well, Lugh is lugh-ed up tight.’
‘What did you say?’ Dad asked, and I also noticed that everyone else had stopped in their tracks.
‘It was a joke. You know, locked up tight?’
‘But what did you call him?’
‘Lugh, the Brownies said Oracle guy’s name is Lugh.’
Gerard stepped back like the barrel was about to bite him. All eyes shot to Macha.
‘Is this true?’ Dad asked.
She looked surprised. ‘I thought you knew.’
Nieve stepped up to Macha. She had a look on her face I’m pretty sure I had never seen before. She looked – frightened. ‘Are you saying that the one who had kept you prisoner for all of these years is Lugh of the Samildanack?’
‘Yes,’ Macha replied.
Gerard actually stumbled into me when he heard this. I steadied him and said, ‘What does this mean?’
‘It means,’ he said, looking at the mallet in his hand, ‘that in that barrel, I have just sealed – a god.’
Chapter Eight (#ulink_fe733a95-120e-5b30-8fac-6a361768653a)
Lugh (#ulink_fe733a95-120e-5b30-8fac-6a361768653a)
Macha rode in front on the way home. Not because she was a queen, but because we quickly figured out that if she wasn’t in front then all of the horses would keep trying to look around to see where she was. Dahy rode with her and the two of them chatted the entire time like teenagers on the telephone. Dad and Nieve rode wordlessly behind. If Macha had any guilt in leaving them motherless for so long, she showed no sign of now trying to make up for it. I couldn’t see their faces but their body language in the saddle made them look like unhappy children forced to ride a pony at a birthday party.
I was behind them with Araf – tantamount to riding alone – and behind me rode my girls, Essa and Graysea. I didn’t hear them share even one syllable and I wasn’t about to turn around to see if they were OK. The tension permeated the entire group to the point where Gerard, riding in the cart at the rear, was singing dirges as opposed to his usual ditties.
It wasn’t just the imminent outbreak of a cat fight that was upsetting the group, it was like the whole party was spooked. And the thing that was spooking everybody was the guy locked in the barrel on Gerard’s cart. I needed more details on this ‘Lugh being a god’ thing but Mom and Nieve were not in a talkative mood and Gerard didn’t like talking to me when Essa was around, in case she thought he was taking sides. (Even a father can be afraid of a child like Essa.) And I could never get Dahy away from Macha.
At night I tried to entice Grandma into talking about Lugh and her imprisonment but she said that it was far too horrid to speak of. She went to bed early every night with a horse standing guard outside her tent.
I was reduced to spending my days staring at the scenery – not a bad thing. Spring had fully sprung and summer was once again upon The Land. The vibrancy, the … aliveness permeated everything, and – if they were like me – everyone. The feeling – no, not the feeling – the knowledge that you can live for ever came from days like these.
News of Queen Macha’s return preceded us. An hour before our arrival at Castle Duir a rumble and a cloud of dust could be seen in the distance. Dahy and Dad sped to the front and were about to throw us all into battle stations when Macha said, ‘There is no need for concern. It is just my children.’
Sensing the Horse Enchantress’s approach, the horses in Castle Duir’s stables had become anxious. The master of the stables, having heard that Macha was soon to arrive, left open all the stable doors and let the horses run to meet their mistress.
Macha dismounted and walked ahead of us as the sound of thundering hooves intensified. What a scary and magnificent sight: Macha standing alone in an open field, her hands held out as a stampede of galloping horses came directly at her. As they got nearer they squeezed together so as to be close to the Horse Enchantress as they passed. I thought for sure they were going to trample her but at the last second they parted. They swarmed past her like a flock of birds – her hands brushing the charging beasts. They swung around for another pass. They did this three times and I’m sure they would have done it all day if Macha hadn’t put a stop to it. She raised her yew wand and the horses swung in front of her and then stopped as if at attention. From the middle of the herd came a huge silver stallion. I recognised him. The stable master had told me that his name was Echo because he was the spitting image of the horse that sired him – King Finn’s horse. When I once asked if I could ride him I was told that he was wild – unrideable. Yet here he was, head down, offering himself to the Horse Enchantress. Macha patted him on the snout and Echo quivered. Then, fast as a tree monkey, she mounted him and galloped towards Castle Duir. The herd whinnied and followed – leaving us behind.
We didn’t even have to kick our horses to catch up; Acorn leapt to join the herd whether I liked it or not. I galloped up next to Dad and Nieve. ‘I’ll say this about Grandma,’ I shouted into the dust-filled air, ‘she knows how to make an entrance.’
Mom had not been idle with the days that travelling dragon-back had given her. She had prepared a special airtight cell and had a Leprechaun smith make a pair of silver gloves/handcuffs that would hopefully render Lugh unable to whip up a breeze or any magic. While Dad and Nieve secured the prisoner, I went in search of answers.
I found Fand in the Shadowmagic laboratory she set up with Mom. She was stirring something in a small pot.
‘If that’s a super delicate Shadowpotion you’re working on,’ I said, ‘I can come back later.’
‘It’s tea,’ Fand replied reaching under the counter and producing two cups. ‘Would you like some?’
‘Oh, yes, thank you.’
She stirred the pot with a gold stick and when she removed it all of the used tea leaves had stuck to it. She mumbled something and the leaves all fell into a rubbish bin. Then she poured us both a cup.
‘What brings you down here, Prince Conor?’
‘I want to know who Lugh is.’
That query made Fand lean back and sigh. She took a sip of tea before she answered. ‘Maybe that is the wrong question,’ she said. ‘Maybe you should be asking: what is Lugh? A question that many have been asking for a long time. Or maybe the most important question is: who is the man we have locked up in the windless cell? I’m not certain he is Lugh.’
‘Gerard said he was a god.’
‘A god. One man’s god is another man’s false idol. What is a god?’
‘I don’t want to interrupt you mid-flow, Fand, but do you think maybe you could answer one of my questions with something other than another question?’
Fand laughed; it was not something I had ever heard her do before. It was sweet. ‘Sorry Conor, it is just that this appearance of Lugh, or whoever he is, has raised many questions.’
‘OK,’ I said, ‘let’s forget about this Oracle guy we have locked up. What are the old stories about Lugh?’
‘Well, that depends on who you are talking to. Among most of the houses of Tir na Nog, Lugh is thought of simply as Banbha’s consort.’
Banbha, there was that name again. Whenever there are dark tales of the early days of The Land, Banbha is the name that usually comes up. ‘Banbha was one of the three original sisters that founded Tir na Nog right?’
Fand nodded.
‘So Lugh was Banbha’s husband.’
‘This was long before customs such as marriage came about but that is essentially the idea.’
‘So why did Gerard call him a god?’
‘Well, as you know, many in The Land worship one or all of the sisters as gods. Leprechauns pray to Ériu for gold and most Imps venerate Fódla.’
‘I’ve seen Araf make a blessing gesture when hears Fódla’s name.’
‘Yes, I imagine he does,’ she said. ‘But others in The Land revere Lugh as much more than a consort. There are many, especially the Brownies, who look at him as a deity.’
‘Why?’
‘Most in The Land believe that the first land of Tir na Nog was Duir – the Oaklands – and this was found or created by Ériu who then sent for her sisters who in turn created other lands.’
‘I know this much,’ I said. ‘Fódla created Ur – the Heatherlands – and Banbha created Iodhadh – the Yewlands.’
‘That is what the Faeries believe, but lore reads differently. Most Brownies believe that the Yewlands were first and that Lugh was already there when Banbha found it. They say Banbha was the first sister and that Ériu and Fódla betrayed and banished her. What happened to Banbha no one knows but when she vanished – so did Lugh.’
‘Yeah, but the Brownies will believe anything if it gets them closer to Duir’s gold.’
‘It is not only the Brownies that believe that Lugh was The First – my mother believed it too.’
Fand’s mother was Maeve. As the inventor of Shadowmagic, she had decimated a forest to steal sap, the blood of trees, to fuel a war against my grandfather and the House of Duir. At almost her moment of triumph she blew herself up along with many of the Fili, with a giant Shadowspell that went terribly wrong.
‘No offence, Fand, but your mother had a lot of wrong ideas.’
‘I will not argue with you on that point, Conor, but she once told me that she learned these tales from an Elf.’
‘So the Elves are in the Lugh-is-a-god camp too?’
‘Who can tell what the Elves think. I’ve never had a conversation with an Elf that was not about trees or wine. They do know the yews though. They are the only ones that can pass through the Yewlands unmolested by the trees.’
‘I’ve been to this Oracle guy’s house. You know it’s made from yew wood.’
Fand thought and then poured us both some more tea. ‘As I said, Conor, this man raises many more questions than he answers.’
When I got back to my room Ruby was waiting for me. She was sitting in my big leather chair.
‘How did you get in here?’
It was like a scene from a spy movie.
‘I walked in. I’m blind, not lame.’
‘Well, you can walk right out again. Last time you came here I almost got killed by a tree and then again by your father and now that I think of it, I’m pretty sure your grandmother wants to kill me too.’
‘Yeah,’ she said with no intention of leaving, ‘sorry about that.’
‘Are you?’
‘Of course I am. It was very nice of you to take me riding and I’m sorry you got hurt and I’m sorry you got in trouble.’
I took a hard look at her with her huge sunglasses and her feet sticking straight out from my chair and I reminded myself that even though she acted like she was forty-two, she was still only twelve. ‘OK,’ I said, ‘and I’m sorry you had to fend for yourself outside the wall. Let’s not do that again. OK?’
‘Deal,’ she said, sticking her hand out, not quite towards me, to shake.
‘Deal,’ I said, shaking. ‘So what are you doing in my room?’
‘I need something Daddy and Grandma can’t give me.’
‘Hold on, isn’t this how we got into trouble last time?
‘Relax, O’Neil,’ she said, and I had to laugh. She sounded so much like her father. ‘I just need some advice.’
‘About what?’
‘I want to be a sorceress. How do I do it?’
‘Oh, I don’t really know.’
‘Who does?’
‘Well, my mother is a sorceress.’
‘OK,’ she said, sliding off the chair and striding to the door. I just stood there befuddled until she turned around and said, ‘Are you coming or what?’
Now I promised myself the last time Ruby got me into trouble that I wouldn’t allow myself to be bossed around by someone a third of my weight, but I had planned to check in on Mom later anyway, and I really wouldn’t mind knowing how she had become a sorceress myself.
‘Fine,’ I said, taking her by the hand. ‘We’ll see if she’s busy.’
While Dad was ill, Mom had set up the room next to the master bedroom as her queenly office. As we drew closer I saw that the door was ajar and stuck my nose through the crack.
Mom was down on all fours behind her desk, I could only see her feet sticking out. I heard what sounded like hammering and then wood splintering.
I walked over and said, ‘Are we doing a little remodelling?’ It wasn’t Mom. Macha popped up so quick that I jumped and almost fell over Ruby.
‘Ow,’ Ruby squealed. ‘Watch it. There’s a blind kid here you know.’
Macha initially looked like I had just caught her with a hand in the cookie jar, but when she noticed Ruby she became very interested. She walked around the desk, took Ruby’s sunglasses off, then placed her hands on both sides of her head and tilted her face up so she could look closely into Ruby’s sightless eyes.
‘Hey, who are you?’ Ruby demanded.
I wasn’t quite sure what to do. Macha was being awfully rough with Ruby, but then she was my grandmother and what do I know about how to treat kids? Still, it was plain to see that Ruby didn’t like it. When I saw Ruby cock her blind stick back ready for a strike, I grabbed her wrist and got between the two of them. I never saw Ruby hit anybody with her stick but I’d bet money that she was good at it. Macha looked angrily at me.
‘Sorry Macha,’ I said trying to explain myself, ‘but she can’t see, you know.’
‘I do know,’ Macha said. ‘I have been waiting for you, little girl.’
‘Is my mother here?’ I asked.
‘No,’ Macha answered absently, never taking her eyes off Ruby.
‘Are you waiting for her?’
Macha didn’t even answer that. I walked over and looked behind the desk. There was a dagger on the floor and the skirting board had been prised away from the wall.
‘What were you doing behind the desk?’ When she didn’t answer me I said, ‘Does Deirdre know you are here?’
That seemed to get her attention. She started to answer then looked to Ruby then back to me like she was trying to make up her mind about something. ‘Oh well,’ she said reaching into a fold on the side of her dress. ‘I was hoping that I could be around for longer but it seems that now is the time.’ Out of a pocket she produced a lace fan that she snapped open like a Spanish lady at the opera. With a flick of her wrist the door to Mom’s room slammed closed in a way that looked a lot like the magic that Oracle guy used on the mountain. I started to ask her how she had done that but I only got as far as, ‘How …’ before her fan flicked in my direction and I sailed across the room and into the wall. By the time I came to my senses she was sitting on my chest painfully holding my nose. I opened my mouth to gasp for air and when I did I felt and tasted some kind of liquid hitting the back of my throat. She then pushed my mouth closed and jumped on my chest – it was swallow or drown. It tasted awful and I coughed and rolled onto my side as Macha jumped off me.
Ruby let loose one of her migraine-inducing screams. Macha was on her in an instant, covering her mouth, snatching her stick and throwing it across the room. I got up to help her but Macha shouted at me, ‘Stay where you are!’ And I did. Unlike one of my aunt’s paralysing pins it wasn’t like I couldn’t move, it was like my body just didn’t want to move.
‘What have you done to me?’ I said, desperately trying to move my legs.
‘That fluid I placed in your mouth was horse … well you are better off not knowing what part of a horse it was but now that you have ingested it, I have control of your body. Sit,’ she commanded and I dropped hard on my butt. ‘See?’
‘What do you want?’
Ruby squirmed and then Macha pulled her hand away in pain. Ruby had obviously bitten her. As she started to scream again Macha gave her a hard slap. Shock and then tears came to the poor kid’s face. She went instantly from the woman-child that bosses me around to an all-too-fragile twelve-year old.
‘What I want,’ Macha said, looking at her bitten hand, ‘is this child to be silent.’ She reached into her pocket and produced a handkerchief. ‘Come over here, Conor, and gag her.’
I almost laughed. There was no way I was going to do that but even as the smirk hit my face my body stood up, took the handkerchief from my puppet-master grandmother and pulled it across the child’s mouth.
Macha said, ‘Make sure it’s tight,’ and, despite every cell in my brain telling me to stop, I pulled it tighter before I tied it in the back. A muffled cry of pain came from Ruby and the only thing I could do was say ‘Sorry.’
Macha went back down onto the floor and recommenced ripping up the skirting boards. I looked to the door and felt that with Macha’s attention elsewhere I could pick up Ruby and make a break for the door, but when I tried Macha said, ‘Don’t even think about leaving.’
‘What are you doing?’ I tried to ask and was surprised to find I could.
Macha didn’t stand up but from the floor said, ‘Do you know whose room this is?’
‘Yes, it’s my mother’s.’
‘Do you know whose room this was before your mother?’
‘No.’
There was another sound of splintering and wrenching of wood. I heard Macha exclaim, ‘Ah ha,’ followed by the sound of scraping. Macha then reappeared from behind the desk in a plume of dust and loudly dropped on it – a leather-bound manuscript. ‘This room was once Ona’s lair.’
Holy cow, I said to myself. A manuscript chock full of Ona’s predictions. As if her prophecies hadn’t caused enough problems – here were a stack more.
‘Where are they keeping Lord Lugh?’
I didn’t want to answer her but found myself saying, ‘The guest chambers, one floor down.’
‘Come. Bring the girl and make sure you are not seen.’
My possession was the strangest thing. I was still able to do ordinary things as long as they didn’t seem to contradict the will of Macha. Before we left the room I picked up Ruby’s sunglasses and put them on her face. I pushed her hair back and told her everything would be OK just before I gruffly dragged her by the arm. I stuck my head through a crack in the door and saw a guard on his usual patrol. I tried to shout to him but instead I unwillingly ducked back inside the room and waited for him to pass. When he had gone I led us past my room and down the servants’ staircase.
The floor had been cleared of all guests except Lugh. There were two guards posted outside the door and another two walking a patrol. Macha waited for one of the patrol guards to come past and blew him hard into the wall with her fan. I was surprised his head didn’t crack open.
Macha pointed to the unconscious guard and said, ‘Take his sword and kill the other one.’
‘No,’ I said. I was proud of myself when that came out. All the way down the steps I had been incanting a Fili meditation chant and was beginning to think I was getting control again.
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John Lenahan
Тип: электронная книга
Жанр: Детская фантастика
Язык: на английском языке
Издательство: HarperCollins
Дата публикации: 28.04.2024
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О книге: A Lord of the Rings for the 21st century. Only a lot shorter. And funnier. And completely different.A KINDLE BOOK OF THE YEAR 2013The thrilling final part of the Shadowmagic trilogy.When Conor returns to the Real World with Brendan and Ruby he tries to settle back into a normal life, but shortly after he arrives he is arrested for kidnapping a police officer. That police officer being Brendan.Accused by the FBI of being a terrorist, Conor tells his interrogator the truth: how he is really the heir to the throne of Tir Na Nog, a place where the trees can talk; that he has fought alongside imps and banshees against leprechauns and brownies; and that he is in love with a feisty young princess.Naturally, no one believes him, until that princess turns up to rescue him and take him back to Tir Na Nog. And when he gets there he finds he needs to team up with Essa, Araf and Taun for one final quest, a quest which will decide is ultimate destiny.Thrills and wisecracks abound in this fitting finale to the Shadowmagic series.