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Koala Calamity - Surf’s Up!
Jonathan Meres

Neal Layton


The fifth animal in the hilarious AWESOME ANIMALS series – awesome adventures with the wildest wildlife.From the author of the hilarious WORLD OF NORM series comes the second crazy koala caper.Dude, Bro and Squirt are pros at doing…nothing. They can do nothing all day long – nothing but munch on their favourite treat, lie in the sunshine and think about moving.Their little sister, baby Squeak, is not quite so good at doing nothing. In fact she’s got more energy than her brothers know what to do with! She’s so lively that when the boys lose track of her they soon discover she’s no longer in the tree tops…she’s heading for the beach!Can they find Lil before the dingos do? What if she’s swept off to sea? Or is little Lil a bit more like her brothers than they thought? Find out in a brand new KOALA CALAMITY!
























Table of Contents

Title Page (#ub5ae433a-72cd-5499-8d69-143dd111c666)

Dedication (#uf0bdee87-fdb6-532a-ab96-49cecf0d9de1)

Chapter One (#u2da49cc7-10b4-5d4c-bceb-2e3d499b112d)

Chapter Two (#u77ab08b5-52b2-5d9d-9d46-d10879c8639a)

Chapter Three (#uc2711409-bb8c-5ea4-b460-74bb91e09913)

Chapter Four (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)

Read more Awesome Animals books! (#litres_trial_promo)

Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)

About the Publisher (#litres_trial_promo)
















ays rarely started with a bang at The Acacia Koala Sanctuary and today was no different. All was spookily quiet. The only thing rising was the sun. The sky in the east was gradually changing from inky black to pinky blue. Not that Dude, or Bro, or Squirt noticed. Dude, Bro and Squirt were still fast asleep, along with all the other koalas. Well, all the other koalas except one.

“Wakey, wakey!” squeaked Squeak. “Wakey, wakey!”

Dude, Bro and Squirt slept blissfully on. Not only were the koalas naturally very lazy and sleepy, they’d been up unusually late the night before, giggling and chomping eucalyptus branches high in the treetops. It was still quite a new experience for Squirt to be allowed to hang out with his big brother, Bro, and Bro’s best friend, Dude. It was something Squirt thought would never ever happen. But the adventure they’d had finding their way across the city to the big zoo had changed all that. Without Squirt, Dude and Bro would never have made it. Since then, Squirt had no longer irritated his brother and got on his nerves all the time. Just most of the time.

“Wakey, wakey!” squeaked Squeak again. “Wakey, wakey! Wakey, wakey!”

Bro let out a little snore. Dude yawned. Squirt scratched himself. But all three remained determinedly asleep.

Squeak wasn’t very happy. She was awake and couldn’t see why everyone else wasn’t awake too. Sleeping was boring. Especially when there were so many other things to do. Like bounce up and down on her big brother’s tummy, for instance.

“Uh? What?” grunted Bro, finally beginning to wake up. “What’s going on? Get off me, Squeak, ya big fat wombat!”

“Wakey, wakey!” squeaked Squeak. “Wakey, wakey, wakey!”






“All right, all right,” said Bro. “I heard you the first time.”

“Heh-heh-heh,” chuckled Dude, despite still being half asleep.

“You can put a sock in it too, ya wallaby,” said Bro.“Sorry, mate,” said Dude, stifling a yawn.

Bro could be pretty grumpy at the best of times. And now wasn’t exactly the best of times. Not only had he been woken up by his little sister using his tummy as a trampoline, he’d been in the middle of a particularly nice dream in which he’d been chowing down the most delicious eucalyptus branch he’d ever tasted.

“Morning, sis,” said Squirt.

“Yeah! Squirty-wirty, Squirty-wirty!” squeaked Squeak, throwing herself at Squirt and very nearly knocking him off the branch. For a small koala, Squeak could be surprisingly strong at times.

“Careful!” said Squirt.

“Poo, poo!” replied Squeak.

“Heh-heh-heh,” chuckled Dude again, by now somewhere between half asleep and half awake.

“So that’s where you are!” said Mrs M, appearing in the treetop. “What are you doing up here? It’s much too high!”

“Sorry, Ma,” said Squirt.

“Not you, Squirt,” said Mrs M. “I meant your sister!”

“Oh, right!” said Squirt. Not only was he not used to hanging out with Dude and Bro high in the treetops, he still wasn’t used to not being the youngest. He didn’t mind not being the youngest – he loved it! It meant he was no longer constantly teased and treated like a baby.

“Morning, Mrs M,” said Dude, finally fully awake. Or as awake as Dude ever was, anyway.

“Morning, Dude,” said Mrs M. “Morning, dear.”

But Bro said nothing. Either he’d fallen asleep again, or he was cross because he hated it when his mum called him dear. Just like Squirt hated being called Squirty-wirty. By his mum, that is.

“Listen up,” announced Mrs M, “I’ve got something important to tell you.”

“What is it, Ma?” said Squirt.

“Your father and I have to go away.”

“Away?” said Squirt, suddenly anxious.

“Not for long,” laughed Mrs M. “I’ve just got to go and see Aunt Jemima for a while, that’s all.”

Aunt Jemima was Mrs M’s sister. She lived in another part of The Acacia Koala Sanctuary altogether.

“But…” began Squirt.

“But, what?” said Mrs M.

“Who’ll look after Squeak?”

“You will,” answered Mrs M.

“Me?” said Squirt.

“Yeah! Squirty-wirty! Squirty-wirty!” squeaked Squeak, bouncing up and down.

“Heh-heh-heh,” chuckled Bro.

“And you will too, dear,” said Mrs M.

That shut Bro up. “Me?”

“Yeah! Bro-bro! Bro-bro!” squeaked Squeak.

“Heh-heh-heh,” chuckled Dude.

“All three of you will,” said Mrs M.

“Yeah! Dudey-wudey! Dudey-wudey!” squeaked Squeak.

That shut Dude up too.

“Do we have to, Ma?” grunted Bro.

“Yes, you have to,” said Mrs M. “She’s your sister!”

“Exactly!” said Bro. He wasn’t happy. First he’d been woken from his slumbers, and now this? How much worse could things get?

“When was the last time I asked you to do something?” said Mrs M. “Actually do something?”

Bro thought for a moment. He couldn’t remember the last time his mum had asked him to do something, but that wasn’t the point. The point was he’d got better things to do today than look after his pesky little sister. Like sleep. And chow down a few juicy eucy branches. And catch a few rays.

“Well?” insisted Mrs M.

“Erm…” said Bro.

“Precisely,” said Mrs M. “It’s high time you boys started to help out a bit and show some responsibility!”

Squirt wasn’t entirely sure what responsibility was, but whatever it was, it sounded very grown-up and important. “I don’t mind, Mum.”

“Creep,” muttered Bro, glaring at Squirt.

“You’re a good boy, Squirty-wirty,” said Mrs M.

“Please don’t call me that, Mum,” said Squirt through gritted teeth.

“You coming or what, Mrs M?” called Mr M from somewhere down below.

Mrs M smiled. “I’d better go before he falls asleep again!”

“I know how he feels,” muttered Bro.

“Heh-heh-heh,” chuckled Dude.

“Coming, Mr M!” called Mrs M.

“Mummy, bye-bye! Mummy, bye-bye!” squeaked Squeak, flinging herself at Mrs M.






“Bye-bye, Squeaky-weaky,” laughed Mrs M. “You be a good girl, now. And you boys behave yourselves!”

“We will!” said Squirt. “Won’t we, guys?”

“What?” said Bro. “Oh, yeah.”

“Totally, mate,” said Dude. “Totally.”

“Good,” said Mrs M, disentangling herself from Squeak’s clutches. “We’ll be back by nightfall.”

And with that, Mrs M was gone, leaving Squirt, Dude, Bro and Squeak alone in the treetop once more.

“Talking of nightfall,” said Bro, stretching and yawning.

“Heh-heh-heh,” chuckled Dude, doing exactly the same.

Squirt couldn’t believe his eyes. “You’re not going back to sleep, are you?”

“Too right I am, mate,” said Bro. “Unless you’ve got any better ideas?”

“But…” began Squirt.

“But, what?” said Bro.

“We’re supposed to be looking after Squeak!” said Squirt.

“Oi, less of the we,” said Bro, wedging himself firmly between a couple of branches and closing his eyes.

“What do you mean?” asked Squirt.

“Well, you’re the one who said you didn’t mind,” said Bro.

“So?” said Squirt.

“So you look after her!” replied Bro.

“Me?” said Squirt.

“Yeah!” said Squeak, launching herself at Squirt and bouncing up and down on him. “Squirty-wirty! Squirty-wirty!”

“Heh-heh-heh,” chuckled Dude.

“Yeah!” said Squeak, turning her attention to Dude and bouncing up and down on him instead. “Dudey-wudey! Dudey-wudey!”

“Heh-heh-heh,” chuckled Bro, before stopping suddenly and glaring at his baby sister. “Don’t even think about bouncing on me!”

Squeak stopped bouncing. “What are we doing?”

“Well, I dunno about you guys, but I know what I’m doing,” said Bro, wedging himself even more firmly between the branches and closing his eyes even more tightly.

“Poo, poo!” said Squeak indignantly.

Bro sighed. It didn’t look like he was going to get much kip as long as Squeak was around. He needed to think of something for her to do. Something to keep her busy for as long as possible. But what?

“Poo, poo!” squeaked Squeak again, bouncing up and down. “Poo, poo! Poo, poo!”

Bro cranked open an eye and looked at his sister. Where on earth did she get all that energy from? Had he been like that when he was a baby? Surely not! And then suddenly it hit him – the perfect way to tire Squeak out!






“Hey, Squeak,” said Bro. “Wanna have some fun?”

“Yeah!” squeaked Squeak. “Fun, fun, funny fun!”

“OK,” said Bro. “Find the tallest tree you can.”

“And then?” said Squeak.

“Climb as high as you can,” said Bro.

“And then?” said Squeak.

“Get a leaf,” said Bro.

“And then?” said Squeak.

“Bring it back,” said Bro.

“And then?” said Squeak.

Bro thought for a moment. “And then I’ll think of something else.”

“Erm…” said Squirt.

“What?” grunted Bro, getting grumpier and grumpier.

“I’m not sure that’s a very good idea,” said Squirt.

“Oh, yeah?” replied Bro. “Well, I think it’s a great idea. What do you think, mate?”

Dude didn’t reply straightaway. In fact, Dude didn’t reply at all. Not because he couldn’t think what to say, but because he’d fallen asleep again, which only made Bro even grumpier. It was his idea. It was him who should have fallen asleep again first!

“Squeak?” said Squirt, looking round. “Where are you?”

But it was too late. Squeak had already gone.










quirt woke, not so much with a start, but more like the beginning of a start. Something didn’t feel quite right. In fact, something felt definitely wrong. But what? Squirt couldn’t quite put his finger on it. Or his claw on it anyway.

He gave himself a nice, long scratch. Not only was scratching just about the best feeling in the whole wide world, it also helped Squirt to think. The effect was almost instant. Squirt suddenly remembered something. This wasn’t the first time he’d woken up today – it was the second time.

Something nearby snored. Squirt looked round to see Dude and Bro, both fast asleep and cuddling each other. Squirt looked again. Odd, he thought. Dude appeared to be nibbling one of Bro’s ears.

“Ouch!” yelled Bro, waking up suddenly and swatting Dude as if he was some kind of overgrown fly. “Gerroff me, ya big fat wallaby! You just bit my ear!”

“Aw, sorry about that, mate,” said Dude.

“I should think so too,” grumbled Bro.






“I was just having this really weird dream,” explained Dude.

“Oh, yeah?” said Bro, not terribly interested.

“Yeah,” said Dude. “Dreamed I was eating a great big furry eucy branch.”

Bro looked at Dude. “That wasn’t a eucy branch! That was my ear!”

“Oh, right,” said Dude. “No wonder it didn’t taste very nice.”

Squirt couldn’t help giggling.

“It’s not funny,” muttered Bro under his breath.

“Heh-heh-heh,” chuckled Dude. “It’s a bit funny, mate.”

Bro thought for a moment. “S’pose you’re right, mate. It is a bit funny. But only a bit.”

Dude didn’t reply. He’d noticed something. Something very important. Something that the other two hadn’t noticed yet. “Where’s Squeak?”

“What?” said Bro.

“Yer baby sister.”

“I know who Squeak is!” said Bro.

“So where is she, Bro?”

Squirt gasped. So that’s what was wrong – Squeak wasn’t there! They’d been left in charge of her and what had they done? They’d fallen asleep on the job!

“Oops,” said Bro.

“Oops?” said Squirt. “This is more than just oops!”

“Ya reckon?” said Bro.

“Er, yes, I do, actually,” said Squirt. “If we’ve lost her we’re in trouble. Big trouble!”

“Ya reckon?” said Bro.

“Yes, I do reckon!” said Squirt. “She’s just a baby! She’s way too young to be wandering about all by herself! Anything could happen!”

“Ya reckon?” said Bro.

“Can you please stop saying that?” said Squirt. “It’s getting really annoying!”

“Ya reckon?” said Bro.

Squirt sighed. This wasn’t good. They were supposed to be showing some responsibility, whatever that was. “Mum and Dad are going to go bonkers when they find out!”

“If they find out,” said Dude.

Squirt looked at Dude for a moment. “You’re right!” he said.

Dude was surprised. “I am?”

“Yes,” said Squirt. “If Mum and Dad don’t find out, then they won’t go bonkers, will they?”

“So what are you saying?” said Bro.

“I’m saying we have to find her!” said Squirt impatiently. “And quickly!”

“Aw, you’re joking,” said Bro.

Squirt looked at his big brother in disbelief. Joking? He’d never been more serious in his life!

“How about we have another kip – and then find her?” said Bro.

“No! We have to find her now!” said Squirt. “It’s all your fault anyway!”

Bro was confused. “My fault? How d’ya work that out?”

“Easy,” said Squirt. “You’re the one who told her to go and climb the tallest tree she could find, just so you could get some more sleep!”

“The little feller’s right, mate,” said Dude. “You did.”

Bro shot Dude a look. “Whose side are you on?”

“I’m just saying, mate,” said Dude.

“Well, don’t, mate,” said Bro.

“Stop squabbling, you two!” said Squirt. “We’ve got to find her! Now!”

Dude and Bro looked at each other.

“He’s right again, mate,” said Dude.

Bro nodded. “I know he is, mate.”

Dude and Bro turned round again. But Squirt had disappeared down below.

“Let’s go,” said Dude, almost sounding urgent.

Bro sighed deeply. “Coming.”

Squirt was smaller than Dude and Bro. He was also much quicker at climbing down trees. By the time Dude and Bro got to the bottom, Squirt was scampering across the ground just as fast as his little legs could carry him.

“Stop!” yelled Bro.

“Totally!” yelled Dude.

Squirt stopped until Dude and Bro caught up with him.

“Where are you going?” panted Bro.

“To the highest tree!” said Squirt. “That’s where you told Squeak to go, remember!”

“Aw, yeah,” said Bro, remembering.

“You said, ‘Climb to the top of the tallest tree and get a leaf ’,” said Squirt.

“And then?” said Bro.

“‘Bring it back’,” replied Squirt.

“And then?” asked Bro.

“You said you’d think of something else,” said Squirt, beginning to get exasperated.

“I did?” said Bro.

Squirt sighed. “You did!”

“Heh-heh-heh,” chuckled Dude.

“What are you laughing at?” said Bro.

Dude thought for a moment. “I’ve got no idea, mate.”

Squirt looked up. From down on the ground all the trees in The Acacia Koala Sanctuary looked pretty tall to him, but which one was the tallest? It was hard to say. And then he saw it. One tree just a little bit higher than all the rest.






“Look,” said Squirt. “Over there!”

Dude and Bro both looked.

“Do you think that one’s the tallest?” said Squirt.

“Could be,” said Dude.

“Ya reckon?” said Bro.

“Don’t start that again!” said Squirt, scurrying towards the tree to get a better look.

“Does that look like a eucy tree to you, mate?” said Bro, setting off after Squirt again.

“Nah, mate,” said Dude, following. “Wish it was!”

“That makes two of us,” said Bro.

“Two?” said Dude. “Who’s the other one?”

“Me, ya wombat!” said Bro.

“Oh, right, yeah,” said Dude.

By the time Dude and Bro reached the tree, Squirt was already halfway up it.

“Squeak? You up there?” called Squirt. “Squeak?”

But there was no reply. Squirt began to get more and more worried. What could have happened to Squeak? He had to keep climbing. He had to get to the top of the tree as soon as possible!

Squirt climbed and climbed and climbed. Far below, the everyday sounds of the sanctuary faded first to a whisper and then to nothing at all. The only sound to be heard was the sound of Dude and Bro puffing and panting (and grumbling, in Bro’s case) as they followed him up the tree.

Then, all of a sudden, Squirt could climb no further. Not because he’d finally run out of puff, but because he’d finally run out of tree. He’d reached the very top of the very highest tree in The Acacia Koala Sanctuary. The view was quite simply breathtaking. In one direction, Squirt could see the sprawling city. In the other direction, he could see green mountains and a splash of bright blue ocean. But Squirt couldn’t see the one thing that he really wanted to see – his baby sister, Squeak.

“She up here?” puffed Bro as he and Dude eventually appeared at the top of the tree.






“No,” said Squirt.

“Oh,” said Bro.

“Bummer,” said Dude.

There was nothing much else to be said. Well, there was one more thing to be said. It was just a question of who was going to say it first.

Dude, Bro and Squirt looked at each other.

Each knew what the other two were thinking.

“Well?” said Bro.

“Well?” said Dude.

“Well?” said Squirt.

There was a moment’s pause. The wind began to stir the leaves. The branches began to sway ever so slightly. Somewhere even higher above, an aeroplane drew a thick white line across the sky.

“What now?” said Dude, Bro and Squirt together.










re you thinking what I’m thinking, mate?” said Dude.

“I’ve no idea, mate,” said Bro.

“What do you mean?” said Dude.

“How am I supposed to know what you’re thinking?” said Bro.

“Uh?” said Dude.

“Think about it,” said Bro.

“Think about what?” said Dude.

“What I just said,” said Bro.

Dude thought about it. Or at least he tried to. “Sorry, mate. Can’t remember.”

“You can’t remember what?” said Bro.

Squirt sighed with exasperation. Here they were, at the very top of the very highest tree in The Acacia Koala Sanctuary – on a mission of the utmost importance – and Dude and Bro were making even less sense than usual. And that was saying something.

“Can I ask a question, please?” said Squirt.

“Go for it,” said Bro.

“Totally, mini-dude,” said Dude.

“What on earth are you two talking about?”

Dude and Bro turned to each other and shrugged. Even they had no idea what they were talking about any more.

“I’m off!” said Squirt, making his way back down the tree again.

“Where to?” said Bro.

“Well, she’s obviously not up here,” said Squirt. “So she must be somewhere else!”

“Who?” said Bro.

“Who do you think?” yelled Squirt, disappearing from view. “Squeak!”

“All right, all right,” said Bro, following. “Keep yer fur on!”

Dude thought about chuckling, but decided not to. It was probably best just to concentrate on climbing back down the tree. They were so high up, one false move could spell disaster. Not that Dude actually knew how to spell disaster, or any other word for that matter.

“Which way now?” said Squirt to himself, when he eventually reached the ground again.

“Which way to where?” said a familiar voice.

Squirt looked around, but couldn’t see where the voice was coming from.

“Wah, ha ha ha ha!” screeched the voice. “Up here!”

Squirt looked up to see Kylie the kookaburra sitting on the branch of a neighbouring tree.

“Oh, it’s you,” he said.






“Are you sure?” said Kylie.

“Am I sure what?” said Squirt.

“Are you sure it’s me?” said Kylie, before bursting out laughing like it was the best joke ever.

But Squirt was in no mood for jokes. He only had one thing on his mind. To find his baby sister as soon as possible, before she came to any harm. And – before his mum and dad came back and he, Dude and Bro got into big, big trouble!

“Have you seen my sister?” asked Squirt.

“Who?” said Kylie.

“Squeak!” said Squirt.

Kylie squeaked.

“What are you doing?” asked Squirt.

“You told me to squeak,” said Kylie. “So I squeaked!”

“That’s not what I meant!” said Squirt. “I meant I’m looking for Squeak!”

“I can’t hear you,” laughed Kylie. “You’ll have to squeak up!”

“What?” said Squirt blankly.

“Wah, ha ha ha ha!” cackled Kylie. “D’ya get it? You’ll have to squeak




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