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One More Kiss
Katherine Garbera


Since her divorce, cupcake queen Alysse Dresden prefers baking to boys…until a phone order from a sexy-voiced stranger melts her insides like butter.It isn’t until Alysse makes the delivery that she realises – there’s only been one man whose voice had such an effect: her mysterious, gorgeous ex-husband…










It had been too long …

Alysse might want to pretend that she had some control over her emotions, but she really didn’t where Jay was concerned.

He tipped her chin up, looking down at her with those big dark-chocolate-brown eyes of his and he kissed her. His hands framed her face as his mouth moved over hers with the confidence and surety she remembered.

But then he intensified the kiss and she stopped thinking. She just let her feelings take over. Shivers spread down her spine.

She was alive and nothing else mattered to her at this moment.

He swept her off her feet and took a few steps before sitting down on a nearby chair. She straddled him and peered down at him.

“I want you,” he said. He took the tip of his finger and drew it down the center of her neck and then caressed the spot above her breasts.

She didn’t want to talk. If she did, she’d start thinking and worrying and she’d have to leave.

And right now she was remembering that it had been a very long time since any man had touched her like this …




About the Author


KATHERINE GARBERA is a USA TODAY bestselling author of more than forty books who has always believed in happy endings. She lives in England with her husband, children and their pampered pet, Godiva. Visit Katherine on the web at www.katherinegarbera.com, or catch up with her on Facebook and Twitter.




One More Kiss

Katherine Garbera







www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)


This book is dedicated to my sister Linda and her family, James, Katie and Ryan, who made us so happy to call Southern California home and who shared their friends with us and they became our friends, as well. So a shout-out to Brit, Amy and Jason, who made us feel welcome.


I have to thank Julie Leto who was very helpful when I asked for her advice on writing for Blaze. She gave me her insights, which as always were spot-on. Also thanks to Brenda Chin and Kathryn Lye for liking my idea when I sent it to them!




1


“MARRY ME,” Gunnery Sergeant Mac said as he took the small box filled with four of her signature chocolate “sin” cupcakes. They were her number-one seller in the bakeshop, Sweet Dreams.

“I can’t, Mac, you only love me for my cupcakes,” Alysse Dresden replied. The uniformed Marine came in here once a week and every time asked her the same mock question.

“We can work around that, I can come to love you for your other assets,” he said as he headed toward the door.

Alysse laughed as the soldier left and she turned to her next customer. Sweet Dreams was the culmination of four years of hard work. She got at least two marriage proposals a day at her bakery and usually a few professions of undying love. Her mother hadn’t been wrong when she said the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach.

If only her mother had told her how to keep a man once she got his attention with food. Alas, she hadn’t, and Alysse had one failed marriage behind her. But that disaster wasn’t one that should be dwelt on.

“You should take him up on his offer,” Staci Rowland said as she came in from the back with a tray of red velvet cupcakes.

“Mac?” Alysse asked. She wasn’t about to marry a man she barely knew. She’d been there, done that and had burned the T-shirt.

“Yes, or any of the other guys who come through here,” Staci said as she placed the tray in the display counter.

Staci was her business partner and the cocreator of Sweet Dreams. They’d met almost four years ago in a local baking competition. They’d competed with each other for a few years trying to outsell and out-create each other around town before they’d decided to work together and open the bakery. The rest, as they say, was history.

“They aren’t serious. They just like my cakes,” Alysse said, knowing what she said was true. Though she wished sometimes that some of the men were at least interested in a few casual dates, they never were.

“Of course they do, but unless you go out with one of them you’re never going to find the one guy who wants more than baked goods from you,” Staci said.

Staci was five foot four and had short black hair that she wore in a pixie cut. She was petite but had more curves than Alysse, who was tall with a more athletic build. Where Alysse overanalyzed every action before she took it, Staci tended to jump and then hope a net would appear. They were opposites in everything except their desire to make Sweet Dreams a success.

“That guy was pretty hot, you should have—”

“Ugh!” Alysse said to Staci. “Besides, hot doesn’t mean he’s the right guy for me.”

She was living proof of that. Damn. Why was she dwelling on her ex today? She wanted to pretend she didn’t really know, but this week … it was the four-year anniversary of her waking up alone in the honeymoon suite of the Golden Dream Hotel in Vegas.

“It doesn’t mean he’s the wrong guy for you, either,” Staci chastised. “You have a thing against men in uniform. Why?”

“They’re cocky and they really can’t commit to a woman. And for the record, it’s not like I don’t go on dates,” Alysse said. She’d never talked about her brief marriage.

“You’ve given the usual dating websites a try and I’ll admit they aren’t exactly gleaming with amazing guys, but I think you don’t want to find a man.”

“Do you?” Alysse asked. To be honest, there were times when she was lonely, but the risk of falling for the wrong guy was too high for her to take the chance. She didn’t ever again want to feel the way she had when Jay had walked away. Ever.

“No, but I at least enjoy being single,” Staci said. “Going out to clubs. And you don’t.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t go with you last night. I had already promised my brother that I’d hang out with him.”

“Well, I’m surprised you went since it was just your brother and about fifteen hot guys.”

Alysse shook her head. “Toby’s friends are my friends. We grew up surfing together and playing beach volleyball. Going out with them … it’s fun.”

“It’s safe,” Staci said. “There’s no risk for you. Why do you do that?”

Alysse shrugged. It was safe going out with them because Toby’s friends treated her like their little sister. And when she was out on the waves, surfing with them they treated her like an anonymous person—just another surfer.

“Most people don’t want to risk their hearts,” Alysse answered.

Staci came over and gave her a hug. From the beginning, Staci’s caring heart had surprised Alysse, because her friend looked tough. Her hair was cut in a trendy fashion but she presented herself to the world as if she were a badass.

“Honey, safe isn’t doing it for you. Something is missing in your life. I just want you to be happy,” Staci said.

“Me, too.” Alysse really craved happiness but had no idea how to get it. She’d thought that the bakery was the solution but the longer they worked at it and the more success and accolades she achieved at Sweet Dreams, the bigger that longing inside of her grew.

The phone rang before Staci could respond and Alysse reached around her to answer it. The phone was an old-fashioned wall-mounted unit that had come with the bakery when they’d bought the property.

“Sweet Dreams Bakery, home of the incredible red velvet dream cupcakes.”

“Hello,” the caller said. His voice was deep and raspy, vaguely familiar, but then she talked to men on the phone all the time.

Staci just mouthed over to her that the discussion wasn’t over and went to help a customer who had entered the shop. Alysse leaned back against the wall and twirled the phone cord around her finger.

“What can I do for you today?” she asked.

“I have a dessert emergency,” he said.

“An emergency? Well, we will be happy to help you out,” she said. She liked creating desserts that were unique to the person who would eat them. It wasn’t always easy to do, but she’d done it more than once with a lot of success. In fact, she’d been featured in a regional magazine after she’d made an anniversary cake for the deputy mayor of San Diego.

“I was hoping you’d say that,” he said.

His voice was perfect, she thought. She closed her eyes and just let the sound of it wash over her. This was what was wrong with her, she thought, snapping her eyes open and staring at the photo of cupcakes mounted on the wall behind the phone. She was afraid of a man who walked into her bakery but one she could flirt with on the phone, one who was safely isolated, she could handle.

“What can I get for you?” she asked. She pulled a prestamped notepad closer and got ready to jot down the details. She and Staci had made these forms up after they’d botched an order writing it down on napkins. That had been a long time ago, but they still wrote everything down on the notepad.

“I need something … different. I made some mistakes where my lady is concerned and I want to make it up to her,” he said, his voice low yet sincere.

Alysse knew she was a softy when it came to men making big romantic gestures. One time she’d stayed up all night making an anniversary cake for a man who’d forgotten to order it in advance and needed it first thing in the morning. She’d charged him double to justify staying overnight to bake it, but in her heart she liked that he’d realized he’d screwed up and tried to make up for it.

“Then this is going to have to be a really special cupcake or maybe a cookie. Tell me about her,” Alysse invited.

Sweet Dreams had cultivated a reputation in San Diego of being the place for one-of-a-kind desserts, mainly because she and Staci both believed that making something special was more than worth their time. People would pay for good food and that was what they delivered.

“Hmm … that’s not easy. She’s kind of elusive and hard to figure out.”

It was always interesting to her the way men described the women they loved. She and Staci had an annual Valentine’s Day contest where couples competed to come up with the perfect treat for each other by describing what the other person was like. The winners were chosen from those who described their mate and picked the perfect dessert.

“That’s probably why you like her,” Alysse said. “Men like a mystery.”

He sighed and she thought she heard a honking horn behind him. “That we do. But I’m used to solving them.”

She jotted down mysterious on the order form. Every guy thought women were hard to figure out, but if they just paid attention, she thought, it would be mystery solved. She’d never known a woman yet who didn’t in her own way tell a man exactly what she wanted.

“What else can you tell me about her?” Alysse asked.

“She’s feisty and spicy in bed,” he said. “She knows how to both satisfy a man and leave him wanting more.”

She made a few more notes and then put her pen down. Well, it sounded as though he had found him a woman who met all of Alysse’s own perceptions of what the male fantasy was.

“Is she sweet?” Alysse asked.

“Semisweet,” he said. “She’s got a kind of gentleness to her that is at odds with that fiery temper of hers.”

She turned to look at the stainless-steel counters of the kitchen area of the bakery.

“Okay, I think I’ve got it. Do you want a small cake or a cupcake?” she asked. She already had an idea in mind for the batter—a kind of a riff on her Redemption Cake. She made it often enough out of a basic chocolate cake recipe and added special ingredients to make it personal to the couple.

“Surprise me,” he said.

“I will. When do you need it?” she asked. She figured she’d work on the recipe overnight and try a couple of variations so that she got the perfect recipe for this guy. She was going to be charging him a high price for this unique cake and she wanted to ensure he got his money’s worth.

“This evening.”

“Uh … I’m not sure I can do that. We close at six,” she said. She could also spend the afternoon in the kitchen working on this special order instead of helping customers and listening to Staci tell her she didn’t date the right guys, which—she wasn’t going to lie—sounded ideal. But this guy was asking for the moon.

“Perfect. I’ll pay you to deliver it to the Hotel Del Coronado—the Beach Villas.”

“Um … we don’t usually do that.”

“Please,” he said, his sexy voice dropping a bit to become even deeper. “I won’t ask again.”

A shiver spread down her arms and across her chest. There was something familiar about that low tone but then she always associated sexy with Jay Michener, her ex-husband. And Jay was the last man who’d be pulling out all the stops to win back a woman. That wasn’t his style. No. Walking away without looking back was his style, and she needed to remember that.

“I think you might be my only chance,” he said.

Alysse shook her head at her own weakness for romance. What was her deal?

“Okay. I’ll do it,” she said. “Should I leave it at the desk?”

“No, I’m having a dinner catered for us on the beach. Can you bring it down there?”

She should say no, but this man who was going to such lengths to win back his lady intrigued her. “I’ll do it. What’s your name?”

“Just ask for the Marine,” he said.

“Okay. I’ll need your credit-card information,” she said. She wasn’t about to do all that work without being paid.

“I’ll pay when you get here.”

He hung up before she could get any more details. She turned around to see that the shop was empty again and Staci was watching her.

“Order?” she asked.

“A mystery order from a sexy-voiced guy,” Alysse said, trying to sound light. But this Marine and his order was affecting her and making her think of things that she usually kept tucked away. She decided to trust that he could pay her; he was staying at the Coronado and it wasn’t exactly cheap.

“Tell me more.”

She shrugged. How could she describe what he wanted her to do without letting Staci know that her hard heart was melting? “He wants something special to try to win back his girl.”

“What are you going to make?” Staci asked, focusing on the food like a good baker.

“I don’t know. I was going to go and pull ingredients that fit his description of her.” She liked this part of the process. Baking was as easy to her as breathing. She knew the recipes and then just changed up the ingredients until she had something unique.

“And that would be?” Staci asked. “Let me guess, sexy?”

Alysse laughed because so many guys said that when they were asked about their women. But once the probing went a little deeper the answers started to vary.

“More specifically, spicy, unpredictable and semi-sweet,” she said.

“Sounds like a challenge. When do you need it?” Staci asked, wiping down the counter.

“Tonight. I told him I’d deliver it to the Hotel Del Coronado.”

“Why are you delivering it?” Staci asked. “Girl, be serious here. We don’t do this kind of thing.”

“He had a really sexy voice and he said please,” Alysse said. It sounded lame as a reason even to her.

“He’s taken,” Staci said, shaking her head as she walked across the room. “He wants a dessert for his lady.”

“I know. I just … It’s romantic, isn’t it? That he’d go to that much trouble to get her back,” Alysse said.

“He must have really made a mess of their relationship,” Staci, ever the realist, said.

Big-time, Alysse agreed. But that didn’t change the fact that he was trying to make up for it. That earned him major points in her book.

“Probably. Would you take a guy back if he planned a dinner for you at the Coronado on the beach?” Alysse asked her friend.

“Not sure. I guess it would depend on the guy,” she said with a shrug. “I’m not much on forgiving.”

“Me, neither,” Alysse said.

Maybe that was why she had said yes to delivering the dessert. She wanted this couple to have a second chance at love. A second chance at making their relationship work—because her own lover had never even tried for a second chance.

Even if he had she would have said no, she thought. She left the store area and went back into the kitchen. It was time for her to do the one thing that she was genuinely good at—taking ingredients and mixing them into something edible, something mouthwatering and delicious. It wasn’t lost on her that she used her baking to escape from the real world. In here she was in charge and if anything went wrong she could toss it out and start over.

She weighed and measured the cocoa and the flour and sifted them together, taking a kind of comfort from the mixing. She tried to keep the image of Jay from her mind but she couldn’t. The memory of the tough-as-Pittsburgh-steel Marine Corps sniper was hard to ignore. She knew that was why she’d failed at blind dates and speed-dating. She measured every man she met by the yardstick that was Jay, or by what she’d thought Jay was when she’d married him, and no one, not even Jay, would ever measure up.

JAY MICHENER TOOK a swallow of his beer and leaned back against the wall behind him. The bar was more open than he felt comfortable in; since he’d gotten back from Afghanistan he couldn’t relax. There were three other guys at the table with him.

Lucien he knew well as they’d been in the same unit for two tours. They’d been to the Middle East and back several times. Lucien had gotten out of the Corps two years ago and had started his own security business with the other two men at the table.

Jay didn’t know either man well, but they felt like guys he’d known before. But then, Jay had spent all of his adult life in the military so there weren’t many enlisted men he couldn’t relate to. The two men got up to play pool and Lucien took a sip of his beer before turning to Jay.

“Why don’t you come by my office tomorrow and I’ll give you the tour? Show you what life is like on the outside,” Lucien said with a wry grin.

“The outside? It’s not like I’ve been in prison,” Jay said. The Corps was his life not because he had no other choices but because it was where he wanted to be.

“It sort of is. You’ve been in since you were eighteen and you’re pushing thirty now. Isn’t it time you tried something else?” Lucien asked.

“Maybe,” Jay said. “I’ll try to swing by tomorrow.”

“Don’t ‘try to,’ be there around ten, Lance Corporal,” Lucien said.

“Okay,” Jay told him, giving in. It couldn’t hurt to check out Lucien’s place.

“You free for dinner?” Lucien asked.

“Why?”

“I want you to meet my girlfriend,” Lucien said. “She’s always bugging me to bring home the guys I talk about.”

“I can’t tonight,” Jay said. Or ever, he thought. He couldn’t think of anything more torturous than spending the night with Lucien and his girlfriend talking about the old times.

“I’ve gotta go,” Jay said, glancing at his watch. He wasn’t a guy who normally took gambles, so this one with Alysse was odd. But she had always made him feel differently than other women did, which was probably why he’d married her four years ago. That was probably also the chief reason he’d left her after only one week.

He was dressed casually in a pair of faded jeans and a T-shirt but he felt naked without his rifle in his hand. How was a man supposed to live when he was always on edge? With Alysse, he had hoped to find something more normal, but the week they’d spent together had made him realize that he felt even more vulnerable with her.

Now he was stationed at Pendleton in Oceanside, California, about a twenty-minute drive north of San Diego. Pendleton had an idyllic setting right across the 5 from the Pacific Ocean and it was easy sometimes to forget that there was anything else but the beach and an endless horizon.

But his mind hadn’t let Alysse go as easily as Jay had hoped. Every night she sneaked into his dreams—and the sexy ones weren’t the problem. It was the normal-life ones that really disturbed Jay. The ones where he pictured Alysse in an apron with a few kids at her feet were the worst because he didn’t believe he was ever going to be the man who gave her those things.

“You’re on leave, Lance Corporal, I didn’t think you had anywhere to be,” Lucien said.

“I do tonight.”

There was a lot of laughing at the table as the men all made some comment about women and hot dates. He smiled and let them think it was just a casual hookup. He waved goodbye and walked out of the bar in San Diego’s Gaslamp district.

He got on his Ducati 1100s motorcycle and drove to the Hotel Del Coronado. He didn’t make a lot of money as a sniper in the U.S. Marine Corps but Jay didn’t spend a lot of money either. He didn’t have an apartment or house of his own, preferring to stay in hotels when he was on leave. Since he had always planned to be a career military man, he used base housing and stored his Ducati when he was deployed.

But something had changed in him on this last deployment. He had no idea if it was the fact that he’d turned thirty or the fact that he was at a crossroads. He could get out of the Corps now, find a civilian job and maybe have a shot at normality. Though he wasn’t convinced he was cut out for normal.

Tricking Alysse wasn’t the answer, but the last time he’d had a shot at a real life had been with her. His commanding officer would say he was being a, well … a coward, for lack of a better word, and Jay knew the CO would be right. But he wanted Alysse back.

His plan—and he always had a plan—was to spend his leave here with Alysse Dresden and figure out if he was meant for this life or if he should stay being a warrior.

Still, he needed to make up for how he’d left her. He hoped the romantic setting and the surprise of the grand gesture would be enough of an olive branch to persuade her to give him a second chance.

He pulled his bike to a stop in front of the villa he was renting and went inside and showered and changed. He’d spent a lot of time thinking up this strategy. He knew better than just to call and ask Alysse out. He’d hurt her and he knew it. The fact that he’d thought of nothing but her for the last four years had sent a strong message to him that he needed some kind of closure with her.

He took his time setting up the area, just as he would to get ready for a target. Planning and execution were the keys to success and he never forgot that. The staff had laid out a bamboo rug and then set the table up on that. Twinkle lights hung from the ceiling of the cabana. There were curtains which had been drawn back to let the breeze flow through the structure.

Jay was a little wary of having so much open space around him, but he was on leave and he tried not to let it bother him. He hated how on edge he always was when he came in from the field. And tonight he was doubly edgy because of Alysse.

He scanned the beach and the area where he was standing looking for the best strategic advantage. He sat at the table but felt stupid just sitting there, so he got up. He checked the wine chilling in the freestanding ice bucket and then walked to the edge of the cabana to lean against a palm tree.

Just as he decided he looked like someone in an all-inclusive resort commercial, Alysse appeared. He realized all at once he wasn’t as prepared as he’d hoped to be, because he’d forgotten how beautiful she was.

She arrived just as the sun was starting to set. She wore a casual skirt, and a blousy shirt. But it wasn’t the clothes—more the body underneath it. She was tall—almost five-foot-seven—and had an athletic build. She moved with grace and confidence and he couldn’t tear his eyes from her.

He had his sunglasses on. Her long ginger hair blew in the wind, a tendril brushing over her cheek and her lips. She moved with fluid grace and ease. She stopped on the path and glanced at the cabana. Was she wary of coming out here on her own?

“Hello? Marine?” Alysse called out.

Jay stayed where he was, watching her, feeling a little like a voyeur, but this was probably the only chance he’d have to observe her before she recognized him. He could turn around and walk away from this beach and this woman, just walk back to his Ducati and get the hell out of here.

“Hello?”

There was a catch in her voice and he knew he couldn’t just leave. He didn’t want to. There was a reason he was here and the reason had everything to do with this woman.

“Hello, Alysse,” he said, stepping from the shadows.

She shook her head and then pushed her sunglasses up, revealing her narrowed eyes. She took two angry steps toward him.

“Jay?” she asked. “Is that really you?”

He took a step closer to her. He was so close he could smell the homey scent of vanilla and see the freckles that dotted her cheekbones.

“Yes.”

She threw the cake box on the table and clenched her hands. “You ass.”

“I guess I deserve that,” he said.

She shook her head. “You deserve a lot more than that.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“I never thought I’d see you again,” she said, more to herself. She took a step back from him and then pivoted and he realized she was leaving.

“Wait.”

“Why should I?” she asked.

He took two steps toward her and reached out to touch her but she flinched away.

“I … I’m sorry for the way I left,” he said.

She nodded, but he couldn’t tell what she was thinking. “I had to get back to base. The way we met and married I never had a chance to tell you I only had a week of leave.”

“You couldn’t wake me up to tell me or maybe leave me a note?” she asked.

Of course he could have, but Alysse had made him think about something other than getting laid, and no woman had done that before. “I didn’t mean to marry you.”

“I know that. It was Vegas that made us both act the way we did,” she said. “Here’s your dessert. I guess your technique with women hasn’t improved if you needed something special to win her back.”

“It’s for you,” he said.

“It’s going to take a hell of a lot more than a cupcake to win me back.”

“I know. Stay for dinner tonight.”

She shook her head. “Give me one good reason. Why should I stay with the man who abandoned me?”

“We have unfinished business, Aly, you know it and I know it. That’s why I left the way I did.”

“I’ve moved on.”

He knew she meant it to hurt him and it did. But he’d already recognized that this was going to be one of the toughest missions he’d ever been on and he didn’t mind working to get Alysse back.




2


ALYSSE DIDN’T THINK as highly of Jay’s idea now that she realized she was the woman in question. There wasn’t any dessert in the world that would make a woman forgive being left on the last day of her honeymoon by her husband. Especially not if the woman in question was her. A cake couldn’t fix the way he’d abandoned her.

Last night she’d had a good time hanging out with her brother and his friends, who were all extreme athletes. Two of them were pro surfers, another two pro skateboarders and Toby was a semi-pro beach volleyball player. She understood that men could let something other than a woman dominate their lives—for Jay it was service to his country. But all of the men she knew had learned how to balance their careers with a relationship. Something that Jay seemed not to have done.

A part of her still wanted him, though. He was dressed in a skintight black T-shirt that showed off his muscles, he was cleanly shaven and she noticed a new scar along the left side of his jaw. How had he gotten that?

He was a Marine who had been in a combat zone; she knew that from trying to track him down to get their divorce finalized. He held himself tensely. His eyes were narrowed and, though he kept his attention on her, she knew he was aware of their surroundings.

“Why are you looking at me?” he asked as he held the chair out for her to sit down. “Do you want to curse at me again?”

She felt a little embarrassed at what she’d done but mostly she felt justified. It was better than her other impulse which had been to start screaming at him. Or worse, to start crying. She doubted that he’d believe how deeply he’d hurt her. After all, as her mom had pointed out, they’d only known each other for a week. But that week had changed her life.

“Maybe,” she said. But she knew she wouldn’t do it. She wanted answers from him. And if she got nothing else out of this dinner, she promised herself at least she’d leave with a better understanding of why she’d been attracted to him and why even a divorce didn’t seem final enough for her to forget him.

He set the bakery box on the table between them. She looked at the bottle of wine chilling in the ice bucket and realized he’d remembered what she drank—Santa Margherita pinot grigio. Good for him, she thought, trying not to let it matter.

“I really am sorry about the way I left,” he said. “It was a cowardly thing to do.”

“I’d have thought your Marine code would have a rule about that.”

“Not a rule exactly,” he said wryly.

She didn’t want to flirt with him and talk about the Corps. That easy charm was part of what had attracted her to him in the first place, but she knew now that there was nothing easy about Jay Michener.

“Why did you do it?” she asked. She couldn’t figure out why he’d asked her to marry him. She’d accepted because it had fitted into her plans. She’d just finished cooking school and the next thing on her to-do list was to start a family. She’d always wanted one and when she’d met Jay in Vegas it had seemed as if fate had stepped in.

“I don’t know,” he said.

“Honestly? You must have some clue,” she said. She wasn’t going to let him get away with lying to her. Not now. He’d broken her heart. That wasn’t right.

“No. That’s not true. I left because you tempted me to stay,” he said. “And I had a job to do. And in the end the job won.”

Brutal.

But what else had she expected? That was another little nugget for her to tuck away and make sure she never let this man’s charm win her over again.

“Why am I here now? Are you on leave again and thought we could hook up?” she asked.

“Yes, I’m on leave, and as you pointed out I owe you some explanations.”

She leaned back in her chair and took in the scene. The table had been set up with a pretty white damask tablecloth. With the setting sun and private beach, he’d gotten the romance of this moment perfect. But she no longer believed that Jay was the right man for this kind of special moment.

“I’m not sure I’m following you—you came back to explain?”

“No. I came back to see if you would listen to me. Maybe give me a second chance.”

“At what?”

He arched one eyebrow at her. “At us.”

She shook her head. “You want to get married again?”

He shrugged. And her heart fell. He wasn’t here for her. He was here to bring closure to his past. And if she was honest with herself, she’d already let Jay use her enough for this lifetime.

“No thanks.”

She honestly believed that Jay was a warrior. A man more at home with his unit on a mission. Having been a soldier his entire adult life he had no idea how to share himself with others.

“I asked around, you’re still single.”

“I own my own business, which takes up a lot of my time,” she said, not sure how she felt about him asking about her.

“Granted.”

“What do you want me to say, Jay?”

“That you’ll give us a second chance.”

“But you’re making no promises? I’m not an idiot,” she said.

“I know that. Neither am I. And I’ll tell you this, I’ve never been able to forget you, Aly. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about you. I know I hurt you and don’t really deserve a second chance, but I’m asking you to give me one.”

He was sincere; she could read that easily enough in his eyes. But she didn’t want to trust him again. For some reason she’d fallen for him—the quiet loner with the easy charm instead of the outgoing athletic guys she usually hung out with.

“I’m sorry. But I don’t think I should be here. You enjoy the dessert and have a great life, Jay.”

She grabbed her purse and started to walk away and he followed her again, this time when he grabbed her arm he wouldn’t let her shake him off.

“No, don’t leave. I’m sorry. I’m not handling this right, but I don’t know what else to do. I need to figure out things that have nothing to do with the Corps.”

“I don’t see how that affects me,” she said. She tried not to let it bother her that he thought about her.

“I guess I want you to give me a second chance, not to leave you again but to love you.”

“I don’t think I can do that, Jay,” she said. “You broke my heart and didn’t have the guts to stay and tell me you were leaving.”

“I can’t tell you how sorry I am for that,” he said. “But I can show you that I’ve changed.”

“Have you?” she asked. Because so far she wasn’t seeing any big differences.

He started to nod, but then stopped. “I hope so. But I really don’t know. I’ve been on back-to-back deployments so I haven’t had a chance even to breathe since the last time I saw you.”

She tugged her arm from his grip and stood staring at him in the fading light. She could use some closure herself. Maybe then she’d be able to really move on from Jay.

For too long he’d been the reason she’d stayed single, afraid to risk herself again. He’d changed her from the girl who’d always said yes to life to someone who’d started living in the shadows. That was it, she thought as she stood staring at him in the fading twilight.

She’d given him her heart after a whirlwind courtship and gotten burned and now … now she wanted a chance to reclaim her heart and her faith in men. Because her short marriage was the reason why she was too afraid to let anyone in.

Maybe this would heal her.

“If I give you this chance, it might not work out for you,” she said. “I’m not sure I can ever trust you again.”

“I understand. It’s my mission to make you trust me,” he said.

She had to think this through. On the surface it seemed the perfect way for her to get on with her life. She had poured her heart and soul into Sweet Dreams and now the bakery was doing better than she or Staci had ever hoped it would. But what was next? They had been talking about opening a second location, but that was more work. She used work as the excuse to her family and friends as the reason why she didn’t date. Now Jay was back and until she resolved her past with him she’d never be able to move on. He was offering her a lot more than he probably realized.

“There was something powerful between us or we wouldn’t have been attracted to each other the first time.”

“We can try to get to know each other again, Jay, but I’m going to use this time to get over you.”

Jay crossed his big-muscled arms over his chest. It would help her to get over him if he’d let himself go physically in the four years since she’d last seen him. But no, he was still in top form. His thick brown hair was still military short and his eyes had a few more sun lines around them than he had before.

And he looked older, but not in a bad way. He had more experience and he wore it with an ease that she hoped she did, as well. She still wanted him. She had wished she wouldn’t.

The thought of those big arms wrapping around her and holding her made her close her eyes. She remembered the way his legs had tangled with hers and how they’d fitted together perfectly.

“Fair enough,” he said, holding up his hands. “If I can’t convince myself we deserve a second chance then how the hell am I going to convince you?”

He was asking her to trust him, though he didn’t recognize it. She had to believe she was strong enough to protect her heart this time. She had to believe that she was strong enough to resist the lust and emotions he drew effortlessly from her.

And yet, she wanted him. It had been four long years since she’d been in the same space as this man. She’d never admit it out loud, but she had sort of feared he’d die on deployment and she’d never know. That she’d spend the rest of her life wondering what had happened to him.

And though she still wasn’t sure this was the wisest course of action, she found that that one thing hadn’t changed in four years.

It was her intent that this time she’d walk away the winner. She was intrigued enough by Jay to want to stay, and having a plan made her feel that much better about it. But the truth was he was her fatal weakness and something she was determined to change.

JAY KNEW HOW FRAGILE his control over Alysse was. He had thought an apology would be enough at least to get them back to a nice place to start over. But now he was admitting that wouldn’t do it. How out of touch he was struck him.

How could he convince her to trust him when he wasn’t too sure that leaving the Corps and starting over was what he truly wanted? He should have dinner with her and then send her on her way. She deserved a new start without him possibly dragging her down.

And that was the rub. In the field he was confident of his abilities. All the training and missions he’d had ensured that when he took aim he hit his target. But alone on the beach with Alysse, now that was something he wasn’t as confident of.

“Will you come back and have a glass of wine with me?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said. “But I don’t think I should stay for dinner.”

He escorted Alysse back to the table and for the first time understood how hard this mission was going to be. He wanted a second chance to make things right with her. He’d never meant for her to get hurt the way she had.

He poured them each a glass of wine. Their two-day affair had led to marriage and one week of red-hot sex in the honeymoon suite. He still couldn’t believe that he’d married her. When he’d been with her, he’d felt young—though he was only a year older than her. He’d always felt older, but not during that week. He’d felt young and a little bit carefree. That had all changed on the last night.

But he didn’t want to think about that now. Instead he looked at the way her pretty red hair blew around her shoulders. That attraction hadn’t dulled at all. She was dressed casually and had clearly been working all day but she was still the most beautiful woman in the world to him.

“Tell me about your job. Are you a baker or what at Sweet Dreams?” he asked. He’d found her the old-fashioned way. Followed his lawyer’s address that she’d used to send him the divorce papers. He’d been surprised she’d used a business address but really shouldn’t have been. She’d been very clear in her letter to him that every conversation between them go through their lawyers.

“I own the bakery with a partner. We’ve been open almost three years,” she said as she took a sip of her wine. There was a faint smile on her face and she traced the raised lettering on the dessert box she’d brought.

“From what I hear on base and around town, you’re very successful.”

He’d asked about the bakery and had heard tales of the sexy redhead who worked behind the counter. He’d been jealous of the admiration that the other men had for her. She was his, but he knew he’d given up any claims to her when he’d walked away. And that hadn’t sat well with him.

“We are,” she said. “But then we put everything we have into it. Staci and I have to be at the shop every morning by four to start baking. Usually we try to have a seasonal cupcake so we brainstorm ideas for our next one and then once a week do a sample in the store to judge its success.”

“That makes for a very long day.” She would have to be pretty tired come evening.

“But I love what I do,” she said, then flushed.

There was passion in her voice and something that sounded like joy. She’d found her calling and clearly loved her life. But it seemed as one-sided as his was. “It really gave me something to focus on.”

“I’m sorry for the way I left you. Why did you marry me?” he asked. “I’ve always wondered. You didn’t seem like the kind of woman to fall so quickly.”

She shrugged and looked away. “You know. I was excited about finishing cooking school and celebrating in Vegas.”

“Vegas was a riot, wasn’t it?” he asked.

“Definitely. I guess I forgot that it wasn’t real, you know. The lights and the people, and you were so good with the grand gestures. I don’t even remember you asking me to marry you but I do remember standing in that chapel.”

“Me, too.”

“Why did you marry me?”

“You made me feel like I was a part of the world and not just an observer,” he said.

He’d known from a very early age that he was bound for the military. He’d always had an affinity for weapons and had gone hunting with his dad and uncles from the time he was eight. A certain sense had enabled him to sight his target and make his shot.

“I know you’re in the Marines, Jay, but I know so little else about you.”

She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear and tipped her head to the side to study him. He wondered what she saw when she looked at him. He knew he was in top physical form thanks to the rigorous requirements of the Corps, but beyond that what did she see?

“I’m a sniper. And have been just about my entire career.”

He didn’t talk about his work and wouldn’t do it now except to give an overview of what he did. This was one part of his life that he never wanted Alysse to be too familiar with.

“Oh. And you like it?” she asked.

“I guess,” he said. He wasn’t about to reveal his near miss in Afghanistan or how it had hit him hard that he might die and no one would even care. That changed a man, but not in a way he wanted anyone else to know. Especially a woman he was hoping to woo back into his arms. It had made him return to the past and acknowledge he needed to make amends for how he’d left her.

“I don’t know, Jay. If you want me to trust you, you have to open up a little more than that,” she said.

“You’re not going to make this easy, are you?” he asked.

She shook her head. “Nope. I know that it’s not very nice but we did easy the first time and look how that turned out.”

He doubted that she didn’t really care. He’d hurt her and he wouldn’t blame her if she wanted to wound him the same way. He deserved that for running out on his marriage to her.

He was relieved when he heard the sound of footsteps behind them and glanced over to see the waiter from the hotel delivering their salads. Food was the distraction they needed so he didn’t have to continue to answer uncomfortable questions about himself.

He wasn’t sure that this plan of his was being executed to its best advantage. He needed to regroup. But he didn’t want just to approach Alysse as though she was a mission. He kept getting distracted by the scent of her perfume and the way her hair blew in the wind.

After the waiter left, he lifted his glass toward her. “To second chances.”

“To earned second chances,” she said, taking a sip of her wine. “I’m sorry if I sounded mean before …”

He had to laugh. It was not Alysse’s nature to speak harshly to anyone. He’d learned that during their week together. “You didn’t. Don’t apologize for your anger at me. I feel incredibly lucky that you agreed to stay for dinner.”

“I’m not sure I agreed, but I do have a lot of questions about the way our marriage ended and about you,” she said.

“You deserve to have them answered and much more. But not tonight,” he said.

She gave him a hard-level stare and he knew she was searching for answers in his eyes. He didn’t know what the future held so he tried to convey the only thing he was certain of, which was his sincerity.

They ate dinner and talked about things that didn’t really matter to him. Books and movies that he hadn’t seen or read; he was behind on his popular culture. And there was a little awkwardness to the evening. But that was to be expected. What he hadn’t anticipated was how much he wanted her still. And that that was the only thing he could think about.

“HOW LONG ARE you on leave?” Alysse asked after the waiters had left.

“Two weeks. I’m actually due to sign my reenlistment papers soon,” he said.

“And what?” she asked. “You want to spend them with me?”

“I’d like to.”

“I’m not changing my life for you, Jay.”

“I don’t expect you to,” he said. “I know that I’m very lucky that you agreed to have dinner with me.”

She gave him a half smile. “You are lucky. Are you thinking about getting out of the Corps?” she asked.

“I really don’t know. When we’re done eating I’ll take you on a ride on my Ducati, so you can let the wind clear your mind.”

“Um … a ride on a motorcycle will likely make me feel like I’m going to die,” she said.

“Ah, I won’t drive like a maniac, you’ll be safe with me. I promise.”

She didn’t want to believe him, but she did. She wanted to hold on to her anger and just stew in it for as long as she could, because being angry was insulation against starting to feel again.

“I’ll think about it. If you don’t go back in the Corps what will you do?” she asked.

“A lot of that depends on you.”

“It can’t. You have to want to get out for yourself.”

“I don’t really know,” he said, then pushed his hands through his hair. “I hate being indecisive but my future isn’t as set in stone as it once was.”

“Why?” she asked. “Did something happen? Our marriage wasn’t enough to change your mind?”

“Nothing happened,” he said. Nothing he wanted to talk about at least, she thought. He’d been raised to be strong and he wasn’t going to admit to her that he was a little scared of the future. “I’m just getting older,” he told her.

She knew there was more to it than that but he was still not ready to really talk to her. She put her napkin on her plate and stood up.

“It’s been nice but I think I’ll be going,” she said.

“Why? What did I say?”

“It’s what you’re not saying. You ask me to give you a second chance. Telling me nice-sounding platitudes and then when I ask you for something real, it’s back to the smoke and mirrors.”

She stared down at him. And then, when he kept silent, she shook her head. “Good luck, Jay.”

“Wait. Let’s go for a walk … I’ll tell you what’s going on,” he said.

“Okay, but you asked me to trust you, and I’m not sure I can but I’m at least trying. I need to know that you’re doing the same,” she said.

“I’ll try, I’m not any good at this sort of thing, which is why I probably should have just stayed out of your life.”

“If you believe that, why are you back here?” she asked. “Why did you call Sweet Dreams and order dessert for a woman—me—to try to win her back?”

“I want something more,” he said. “I had a close call on my last deployment and I realized that I really don’t want to live the rest of my life alone—without you.”

She didn’t either, which was why she’d always been … waiting for the right guy.

For honesty, that was pretty much on the mark. And his words made her admit that she didn’t want him to be alone, but that didn’t mean that she wanted to be the woman at his side. Jay was difficult to get to know and it was only tonight that she was coming to understand how difficult. That week together had been almost a fairy tale and she’d seen in Jay only what she’d wanted to. A man who was enamored with her and as caught up in the whirlwind romance as she had been.

“What do you want?” she asked.

“I have two weeks to figure it out,” he said. “I’m having lunch with some buddies who got out last year,” Jay said. “Something might come of that. If I can’t find work do you think you could use another cake-froster?”

“Cake-frosting is a delicate art. It requires a skill set you might not have.” He’d given her a little nugget of truth and then turned the topic to something safer and she let him do it. She wasn’t sure how much “truth” she could take tonight. Seeing him was enough of a shock, learning that he’d almost died before he could come back to her … Well, that was something she didn’t want to dwell on.

“What skills exactly?” he asked. “I have steady hands.”

He held his big hands out to her. They were tanned and had blunt-trimmed nails. They were the hands of a man who took care of himself. No metrosexual manicure, but looked after all the same.

“That’s only part of it. I’d have to see how good you are using them,” she said, flirting just a little because she wanted him. And to be honest, flirting was safe. She flirted with uniformed Marines every day and nothing came of it.

“I thought that would be the one thing you’d know I could do,” he said.

She shivered as she remembered his hands on her body. He was very good at using them. He was a thorough lover who had taken his time with her, every time. The attention he’d lavished on her had made her feel like the most fascinating woman in the world.

“That’s a different type of hand work,” she said.

“Really?” he asked in a teasing smile.

“I didn’t mean it that way!”

“Of course you didn’t,” he said with a laugh. It sounded rusty.

“You’d be bored,” she said. “It’s quiet and repetitive. Most of the stuff we do for decoration is simple flowers or candies. Staci and I do all the work ourselves because it’s our favorite part of the job.”

“I get your passion. You both have a stake in making sure the business is successful, I’m sure it shows in your work,” he said.

“Yes, it does. You’ll be able to tell when we have dessert,” she said.

“What did you make for my mystery woman?” he asked.

“Wait and see.”

“About working at the bakery, I don’t think I’d get bored. Plus, you’d be there … we’d have some frosting.”

“Okay, enough with that. This is a first date not—”

“Not what? Our last first date ended pretty well.”

“The date did, but what happened afterward is something I’m not looking to repeating.”

“Me, neither,” he said.

He took her hand, cradling it in his own. He ran his finger over her knuckles. She felt an electric charge go up her arm and then shivers across her shoulders and chest. Her nipples tightened and her breasts felt fuller.

She remembered how one simple touch could lead to much more. She pushed her fingers through his and held his hand in hers. He tightened his grasp on her fingers and lifted her hand to his mouth.

The warmth of his breath brushed over the back of her hand. He looked up at her as he kissed her hand and then her wrist.

She pulled her hand from his grasp and put it in her lap. She wasn’t ready to rekindle the sexual flame that had always been between them. Not at this instant. But to reclaim herself she knew that she was going to have to. And she was afraid that when she did she’d lose a little bit more of herself.




3


JAY LEANED BACK in his chair, lacing his fingers over his chest. Granted, she couldn’t see his eyes in the growing darkness, but still she felt the weight of his gaze on her. He looked aloof and dangerous and though she knew he wouldn’t hurt her she felt that he wanted to keep the world at bay.

“So … how did you start a bakery?” he asked.

“With a lot of loans from the bank,” she replied with a wry grin. Her parents had offered to help by cosigning but she’d refused. After the debacle of her “marriage” to Jay she’d needed to do something on her own.

“Was it hard?” he asked.

“You have no idea,” she said.

“That’s why I’m asking,” he said. “The woman I married was looking for a family and wanted to settle down.”

“Well, that didn’t work out, did it?” she asked.

She was starting to feel annoyed. She had enjoyed Jay’s company, but a part of her hadn’t wanted to. She wanted Jay to have turned into some kind of jerk so she could stand up and walk away. Instead he’d been nice and kept the conversation going when all she wanted was … well, some awkward silences.

“No, it didn’t. So tell me, what happened? I want to know what I missed,” he said.

She tried studying him. The new him. But memories of the old him were bonded deep within her. She felt vulnerable and unsure. She pulled her sunglasses off the top of her head and put them on.

“I started doing bakery competitions in the area and winning some of them. Then I was invited to be a part of Good Morning Los Angeles’s cooking segment and gained some notoriety that way. But there was another cupcake girl, Staci, and we kept bumping into each other. And one thing led to another until one night, after a few too many margaritas, I found myself agreeing to be her partner and open a bakery with her.”

He just continued watching her and she fiddled with her fork. She didn’t like his attention on her because she didn’t want to feel even a bit of attraction for him. But it was crazy to try to deny it. She did want him.

There was something exciting about him—there always had been. He exuded male confidence, and he had from the moment he’d walked up to her at the roulette table and teasingly asked her for a kiss. She’d given it to him and he’d placed all his money on the table and won. He’d called her his lucky charm and spent the rest of that night and the next four days wining and dining her. He’d made her feel as if she was the most beautiful and exciting woman in the world.

And she’d heard the saying “older and wiser” but somehow, where he was concerned, she wasn’t any wiser. She wanted to walk over to him, turn him away from the table and straddle his lap while she kissed him long and deep.

“Margaritas, eh?” he asked.

“I’ve got to lay off the margaritas,” she said, trying to sound wry but knowing she just sounded a little pathetic. It was after a night of drinking one too many strawberry margaritas that she’d agreed to marry Jay.

“I don’t know about that. Sweet Dreams seems to have paid off,” he said. “And everyone’s heard of your bakery. Although it wasn’t what I’d expected.”

“What did you expect?” she asked.

He shrugged and looked away from her. “I don’t know. I was kind of hoping you’d be waiting for me to come back.”

“You left me,” she said, not able to keep the incredulity out of her voice. “And I divorced you, remember?”

“I know. It was a fantasy,” he admitted. “I knew you wouldn’t be. You have a very strong sense of self. I think that is part of what made me leave. You had your own dreams. Your own desires.”

She nodded at him. She didn’t want to travel or be a military man’s wife. Her life had been rooted here in Southern California long before she’d opened Sweet Dreams.

“You surprised me, Alysse. You still do. I’m very proud of your success even though I know I have no right to be.”

She picked up her glass and took a dainty mouthful of wine. Trying for an attitude of sophistication she didn’t really feel at this moment. “If you hadn’t left me … I wouldn’t have the bakery. So I guess I owe you some thanks for that.”

She hadn’t gone to a therapist after what had happened but she had started reading a lot of self-help books. At first she kept waiting for him to walk back into her life and then after three months of that kind of hopelessness, she’d decided she needed to move on. All her life she’d had a plan for herself and it had always involved a white knight riding in and scooping her up on his horse. It was odd, but she’d always wanted to be lifted onto a horse by a big, strong warrior man and carried out of her dull ordinary life.

After Jay … it was clear that no white knight was coming and that her warrior man was just a man with issues and flaws. She’d also come to the realization that her man hadn’t had the same dream of a life together that she’d had. So she’d had to readjust. And baking, not to mention graduating from cooking school, had helped her do that.

Now, she was self-supporting and happy with her career. She could easily see herself owning Sweet Dreams and baking for the rest of her life. That thought often made her smile when she was feeling alone.

But Jay was back and he was offering her a chance to mend her broken heart and finally reclaim a little of her feminine pride. Though she’d never admit it out loud, having him leave her the way he had had made her doubt her own attractiveness to the opposite sex. Had made her wonder if she had some kind of flaw that she’d never noticed before.

“Alysse?” he asked in that deep voice, reminiscent of the way he’d sounded on the phone this afternoon when he’d pleaded with her to deliver the dessert.

“Hmm?”

“I asked if you were done with your salad. The waiter wants to clear our plates and bring out dinner,” he said.

“Yes, I am. Sorry about that,” she said. She really needed to stop daydreaming and pay attention. This was Jay Michener and he wouldn’t hesitate to use any weakness he spotted against her. She knew him well enough to know he was back here to win. “I was lost in the past.”

“I understand that,” he said. “I’ve spent a lot of time in the past.”

The waiter cleared the table and laid down the dinner plates. He removed the covers and she saw that there was a pan-seared tuna with a creamy risotto and asparagus. It smelled heavenly and she stared at her plate, trying to make the evening about food instead of about the past. But she knew that was a lie.

The waiter offered cracked black pepper and refilled their wineglasses before leaving. She stared at the empty beach. The sun still shone but it wasn’t very bright.

“Alysse?”

“Yes?” she asked. It was silly to still be wearing sunglasses, she thought as she focused on Jay’s face.

“Are you okay?”

“No,” she said. “I’m not. This is the most surreal night of my entire life and that’s counting the night I married a stranger.”

His mouth tightened but then he relaxed his shoulders. “I guess I’m glad it’s not boring for you.”

Just that one sentence shocked her and made her smile. Then she started laughing though it wasn’t that funny and she felt the sting of tears and the very real urge to start crying. Damn. She turned her head away from him, pushed her sunglasses up on top of her head and wiped her eyes.

“You do know how to show a girl an interesting time,” she said. “What have you been up to?”

“Fighting,” he said. “That’s what I do.”

She arched one eyebrow at him. That was almost too straightforward, especially for Jay.

“Sorry. It’s on a T-shirt that a guy in my unit gave me last Christmas.”

“Oh,” she said, realizing there was a possibility of him having a life outside the Corps. “I have one that says ‘I dream in dark chocolate.’”

He smiled and they started eating. She gave Jay props for keeping the conversation light and she found him charming. Too charming as he recounted some humorous pranks he’d played on his buddies. That was how he referred to them. No names or any other identifiers.

“Why don’t you call them by their name?” she asked as they were finishing up dinner.

“I don’t know why, I just think of them as they are, like sniper-scout. He’s the fourth one I’ve been paired with since I’ve been in the Corps.”

“What does he do exactly?” she asked.

“He’s my partner in the field. He helps me sight the target by gauging wind and other factors. He’s got my back, you know?”

She shook her head. “In the movies, snipers are always loners, but it doesn’t seem like you are.”

He shrugged again and she noticed the way his massive shoulders moved. He was still in top form, with muscles bulging under that black T-shirt of his. “Sort of. We work in pairs but because of burnout and other issues we don’t always develop deep bonds. I’d work alone if I could.”

“Why?” she asked, putting her silverware down to concentrate on what he was saying. To be honest, his answer didn’t surprise her. There had always been something solitary about him, even in Vegas when he’d been on leave.

“That way I don’t have to depend on anyone but myself.”

She tipped her head to the side to consider him. “Was that why you left me?”

“I have no idea. I’ve never been a coward, but walking away from you was the only thing I could do.”

“Why? Because you didn’t want to have to depend on me?” she asked.

“No,” he said, putting his sunglasses back down over his eyes. “I didn’t want you to depend on me and then let you down.”

JAY DIDN’T LIKE admitting his weaknesses out loud but he knew that lying to Alysse wasn’t going to win him any favors. He’d planned what he’d say and how he’d say it, but he hadn’t been able to plan for her reactions.

She was hard to get a bead on tonight as she was both angry and sad and at times almost relaxed. And seeing her behavior tonight made him wonder if he should have just stayed gone. Selfishly, for his own peace of mind, he’d had to see her again.

He’d had to try to make things right. He wasn’t a complex man and Lord knew he didn’t have any real idea of how a relationship should work, but having seen his buddies and their wives, Jay knew that it was possible for a guy to be a soldier and have a life outside the Corps.

“So you decided just to let me down and get it over with.”

In this respect she was right, although there had been so much more to the decision. Now he was paying for it. He wondered sometimes if he’d be just better off staying to himself. His dad had always said he was a lone wolf who wasn’t fit for socializing and at times like this Jay believed that. “I think we’ve both gone around this long enough. Tell me more about the woman you are today.”

She took a swallow of her wine and then gave him a half smile. He couldn’t stop staring at her mouth. She’d had some kind of lipstick on earlier, but during the meal it had worn off. And left just the natural color of her lips, which brought an image to his mind of her tight nipples.

Damn. He wanted her.

“I work, I meet friends at the beach, I go to my parents’ house for dinner. I have a normal life.”

“Are you happy?” he asked.

“Most of the time. What are you trying to ask me?”

“Am I screwing your life up again by coming back?” he asked, being as blunt as he could. “I didn’t think that you would be so—”

She laughed quietly, and this time not with the strained quality she’d had before. “So … what?”

“So real,” he said at last.

“How did you expect me to be?” she asked. Then she leaned her elbows on the table and looked him straight in the eye. “Vegas wasn’t real for either of us.”

“I know that now, but I didn’t at the time,” he admitted. He’d been seduced by the lights of Vegas and that attitude the city had of everything seeming possible. He’d felt the pull of Alysse so strongly he hadn’t thought beyond his time there and having her in his arms. And that had been a mistake because he’d ignored the fact that he wasn’t the kind of guy that women liked having around. His own mother had proven that point a long time ago.

Alysse put both hands on the table and continued looking at him. He knew she couldn’t see his eyes but he wondered what she was searching for in his face. He knew he was very good at not giving up anything, but he still wished that maybe she’d find whatever it was she needed to see.

“Why? Even I knew it was just a fantasy,” she said.

“I didn’t. If I don’t have a weapon in my hand and a target in my sights I don’t know what’s real,” he explained.

She sat back in her chair and he knew he hadn’t given her the answer she’d been wanting. Still, he didn’t have any explanation other than the truth. “Why did you take a chance on me if you knew that Vegas was all lights and make-believe?”

She tucked a strand of her long pretty hair behind her ear and nibbled on her lower lip. “I thought … I thought that after the glitter of Vegas faded away we’d still have the connection. I thought we’d formed a bond so quickly because it was real.”

Fair enough, he thought. Both of them were living their own fantasy and their perceptions had led to … him leaving. Not her actions, she couldn’t have been more perfectly suited to him during that weekend.

“Where do we go from here?” she asked.

“We’re going to date. Real dating. To see if our bond was real,” he said.

Alysse shook her head and pushed back from the table. She paced to the edge of the cabana where she looked out at the shore. Waves gently lapped on the beach.

He stood up and walked over to her, putting his hand on her shoulder. She shrugged his hand away and he realized for the hundredth time what a monumental task he’d set for himself.

“What are you thinking?” he asked.

“That I’m not sure I can do this,” she said. “I know that I have said that before but the more time I spend with you, the harder it is to remember that I have moved on.”

Her words cut him, but he knew that they shouldn’t. He was lucky she’d stayed for dinner. He knew each date would be a test to pass, he thought. That was motivation enough. It gave him something to focus on, something concrete that didn’t make him feel so unsure.

“We are going to figure this out. If for no other reason than that we both need to resolve what happened.”

“How do you mean?”

“I don’t want to be the man who hurt you and you don’t want to be the woman with the broken heart.”

She pursed her lips as she turned and looked at him.

“It’s the truth.”

“Yes, it is. I just don’t want it to be. But you’re right, I need something that only you can give me, and I’m going to be ruthless about taking it, Jay. I won’t make this easy for you.”

He smiled and felt something tight in his chest relax. “I wouldn’t want you any other way.”

“Do you want me?” she asked. “Or do you just want a version of me? This isn’t Vegas. I’m not going to have time to just lie in bed with you and have sex all day.”

He hardened at the thought of that. That was one of his fantasies, but he also wanted more from her than the physical. Their bond had started with light flirting and kisses that he still didn’t quite believe were real. No one had ever tasted as good as Alysse or had fitted into his arms just the way she did.

“Who said anything about sex?” he asked.

She closed the gap between the two of them. He held himself still as she ran her finger down the center of his chest, poking him. “This entire setup is about seduction and we both know it. So give me the truth, Marine.”

He took a deep breath. “I don’t know how to handle you without the sex,” he said. “In bed I know what I’m doing and … well, it makes our relationship a lot easier.”

“That’s not a relationship,” she said.

“I know. Believe me, if it was we’d still be together and the last few years would have been much different.”

She smiled at him. “I don’t understand you, Jay.”

He didn’t understand himself. This crossroads had started in the desert sand but it was turning into a crisis inside him. Something that he had to resolve, or he knew he’d end up just as bitter and lonely as his old man had been. Having a chance at happiness with Alysse—he knew he couldn’t, wouldn’t, give that up.

“I don’t either, but we can do something about it,” he said.

“You are very confident about this.”

“It’s the only plan I’ve got. I’m kind of invested in making it work.”

She nodded. “Things are going to be different this time.”

“I get that,” he said.

“Good. I’m not the passive person I used to be.”

He laughed that she said that with a straight face. “You are so far from passive. From the beginning you had me wrapped around your little finger.”

“Did I?” she asked. “It felt the other way around to me.”

In that instant he knew that the bond they’d formed had its grounding in something beyond just sex. He had always known it deep inside because she’d never left his thoughts even when they had half the world between them. But she’d made him very aware that the feelings weren’t one-sided. And that gave him more hope than he probably deserved.

THE WAITER LIT the tiki torches near them and delivered a coffee service. She glanced at her watch, knowing she should be leaving, but she didn’t want to go just yet. Jay made her feel as if this was the first day of the rest of her life.

She wanted it to be worth something. She thought about how one-sided her life had been since she’d started working at the bakery. How when she went to the beach to play volleyball with her friends and family she always felt like the odd person out because everyone else had a partner and she was afraid to risk herself again.

Jay had stolen a little of that happiness from her and she wanted it back. She wanted everything life had to offer and the only way she would get that would be to take it back.

Jay had been right when he’d said she wasn’t passive. She liked to pretend she was easygoing and just went with the flow, but truly, she was determined to have everything her own way.

And maybe Jay had sensed that and he’d left her because he knew she wasn’t going to be content just to let him be her lover and rule her life the way he had that week in Vegas. She had changed in the last five years and she hadn’t even realized how much until she’d been sitting across from him at dinner. She wanted things now that she hadn’t understood were important back then.

It was humbling to discover that though she’d felt so adult and grown up in Vegas she was only now catching on to how much she still had to learn. It had been easy to fall for Jay because she’d never really lost before. Were her expectations too high? Not high enough?

“Come back and sit down,” he said.

She nodded and returned to the table. No matter how much she wanted to run away and leave him she knew she wasn’t going to do it until she’d gotten some more information from him.

“What are you thinking about?”

“Just wondering how difficult the last few years have been for you,” she said.

“Not too bad,” he answered. “A lot of routine and discipline.”

“Do you like the routine?”

“Love it. In the Corps there are rules and if you follow them you get the expected results.”

“Just like baking,” she said.

He chuckled and she caught her breath as she recognized just how handsome he was when he smiled. She stared at him and noticed again the new cut above his lip. Just a small scar, not recent, but it hadn’t been there the last time she’d seen him.




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