The Six-Month Marriage
The Six-Month Marriage
PENNY JORDAN
Penny Jordan needs no introduction as arguably the most recognisable name writing for Mills & Boon. We have celebrated her wonderful writing with a special collection, many of which for the first time in eBook format and all available right now.A six-month marriage; a quick annulment Blake Sefton had married Sapphire to acquire her father's Cotswolds farm. And at first she'd been too besotted with him to realize that his passion burned for his mistress, Miranda, not for his virgin bride. Then Sapphire had discovered Blake's secret love letters and the reason he'd been unable to bring himself to share his wife's bed.Painfully disillusioned, she'd run away and divorced him. Now four years later she was considering remarrying Blake temporarily to ease her dying father's mind. After all, Blake hadn't desired her before, so what would he want with her now?
Celebrate the legend that is bestselling author
PENNY JORDAN
Phenomenally successful author of more than two hundred books with sales of over a hundred million copies!
Penny Jordans novels are loved by millions of readers all around the word in many different languages. Mills & Boon are proud to have published one hundred and eighty-seven novels and novellas written by Penny Jordan, who was a reader favourite right from her very first novel through to her last.
This beautiful digital collection offers a chance to recapture the pleasure of all of Penny Jordans fabulous, glamorous and romantic novels for Mills & Boon.
About the Author
PENNY JORDAN is one of Mills & Boons most popular authors. Sadly, Penny died from cancer on 31st December 2011, aged sixty-five. She leaves an outstanding legacy, having sold over a hundred million books around the world. She wrote a total of one hundred and eighty-seven novels for Mills & Boon, including the phenomenally successful A Perfect Family, To Love, Honour & Betray, The Perfect Sinner and Power Play, which hit the Sunday Times and New York Times bestseller lists. Loved for her distinctive voice, her success was in part because she continually broke boundaries and evolved her writing to keep up with readers changing tastes. Publishers Weekly said about Jordan Women everywhere will find pieces of themselves in Jordans characters and this perhaps explains her enduring appeal.
Although Penny was born in Preston, Lancashire and spent her childhood there, she moved to Cheshire as a teenager and continued to live there for the rest of her life. Following the death of her husband, she moved to the small traditional Cheshire market town on which she based her much-loved Crighton books.
Penny was a member and supporter of the Romantic Novelists Association and the Romance Writers of Americatwo organisations dedicated to providing support for both published and yet-to-be-published authors. Her significant contribution to womens fiction was recognised in 2011, when the Romantic Novelists Association presented Penny with a Lifetime Achievement Award.
The Six-Month Marriage
Penny Jordan
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
CHAPTER ONE
SAPPHIRE, YOU HAVENT heard a word Ive said. Whats wrong? Alan asked her.
The densely blue, dark lashed eyes that were the reason for Sapphires unusual name turned in his direction, her brief smile not totally hiding the concern in their dark blue depths.
Ive had a letter from home this morning, and apparently my father isnt well.
Home? Alan gave her a strange look. Funny, thats the first time Ive heard you call it that in the four years that youve worked for me. Before its always been Grassingham.
Frowning slightly, Sapphire left her desk, pacing restlessly. It was true that in the four years she had worked in London she had tried to wipe her memory clean of as much of the past as she could, and that included any foolishly sentimental references to the border village where she had grown up as home, but in times of crisis, mental conditioning, no matter how thorough, was often forgotten. Her father confined to bed and likely to remain a semiinvalid for the rest of his life!
Unconsciously she stopped pacing and stared through the large window of her office, but instead of seeing the vista of office blocks and busy London streets all she could see was her childhood home; the farm which had belonged to many generations of Bells and which had been handed down from father to son from the time of Elizabeth the First. But of course her father had no son to carry on farming the land he loved, that was why Sapphire gnawed worriedly at her bottom lip. In the Borders people adapted to social changes very slowly. Those who lived there had a deeply ingrained suspicion of new ideas, but had she wanted to do so, she knew that her father would have encouraged her to undertake the agricultural degree needed to successfully run a farm the size of Flaws. However, although she had grown up on the farm she had had no desire to take over from her father.
Flaws valley was one of the most fertile in the area, and should her father decide to sell, there would be no shortage of buyers. But how could he sell? It would break his heart. After her mother had left him he had devoted himself exclusively to the farm and to her. Her mother. Sapphire sighed. She could barely remember her now, although she knew that she looked very much like her.
It was from her American mother that she had inherited her wheat blonde hair and long lithe body, both of which were viewed with a touch of scorn in the Borders.
Shes the looks and temperament of a race horse, one neighbour had once commented scornfully to her father, but what you need for these valleys is a sturdy pony.
Acutely sensitive, Sapphire had grown up knowing that the valley disapproved of her mother. She had been flighty; she had been foreign; but worst of all she had been beautiful with no other purpose in life but to be beautiful. Although she had been fiercely partisan on her fathers behalf as a childafter all she too had shared his sense of rejection, for when her mother left with her lover there had been no question of taking a four-year-old child with herolder now herself Sapphire could understand how the valley had stifled and finally broken a woman like her mother, until there had been nothing left for her other than flight.
A farmers hours were long hours, and her mother had craved parties and entertainment, whereas all her father wanted to do in the evenings was to relax. Her mother was dead now, killed in a car accident in California, and she Despite the warmth of her centrally heated office Sapphire shivered. She knew she had never been wholly accepted by her peers in the valley and that was why she had responded so hungrily to whatever scraps of attention she had been given. A bitter smile curved her mouth and she looked up to find Alan watching her worriedly.
Dear Alan. Their relationship was such a comfortable one. She enjoyed working for him, and after the emotional minefields she had left behind her when she left the valley, his calm affection made her feel secure and relaxed. Their friends looked on them as an established couple although as yet they werent lovers, which suited Sapphire very well. She wasnt sure if she was strong enough yet to involve herself too intimately with another human being. As she knew all too well, intimacy brought both pleasure and pain and her fear of that pain was still stronger than her need of its pleasure. Divorce was like that, so other people who had been through the same thing told her. Along with the self-doubts and anguish ran a deep current of inner dread of commitment.
Alan, Im afraid Im going to have to ask for time off so that I can go and see my father.
Of course. If we werent so busy, Id drive you up there myself. How long do you think youll need? Weve got quite a lot to get through before the end of the month and were away for all of March.
Alans small import business had been very successful the previous year and he was rewarding himself and Sapphire with a months holiday cruising round the Caribbean; an idyll which Sapphire sensed would culminate in them becoming lovers. Without saying so outright Alan had intimated that he wanted to marry her. Her father seemed to have sensed it too because in his last letter to her he had teased her about the intentions of this man she wrote about so often. She had written back, saying that they were strictly honourable.
Dont worry too much. Alan comforted, misunderstanding the reason for her brief frown. If your fathers well enough to write
He isnt. Sapphire cut in, her frown deepening.
Then who was the letter from?
Blake. Sapphire told him brittly.
When Alans eyebrows rose, she added defensively, He and my father are very close. His land runs next to Flaws Farm, and his family have been there nearly as long as ours. In fact the first Sefton to settle there was a border reivera supporter of Mary Queen of Scots, who according to local rumour managed to charm Elizabeth enough to be pardoned.
Do you still think about him?
For a moment the quiet question threw her. She knew quite well who the him Alan referred to was, and her face paled slightly under her skilful application of makeup. Blake? she asked lightly, adopting the casual tone she always used when anyone asked her about her ex-husband. We were married when I was eighteen and we parted six months later. I dont think about him any more than I have to, Alan. He was twenty-six when we were married, and unlike me he knew exactly what he was doing.
I hardly recognise you when you talk about him, Alan murmured coming across to touch her comfortingly. Your voice goes so cold
Perhaps because when I talk about Blake thats how I feel; terribly cold, and very, very old. Our marriage was a complete disaster. Blake was unfaithful to me right from the start. The only reason he married me was because he wanted Flaws land, but I was too besottedtoo adolescently infatuated with him to see that. I thought he loved me, and discovering that he didnt
She shuddered, unable to go any further; unable to explain even now the terrible sense of disillusionment and betrayal she had experienced when she discovered the truth about her marriage. It was four years since she had last seen her father, she reminded herself, mainly because she had refused to go home and risk meeting Blake, and her father had been too busy with the farm to come to London to see her. And now this morning she had received Blakes letter, telling her about the pneumonia that had confined her father to bed.
A terrible ache spread through her body. It hurt to know that her father had been so ill and she had not known. He had not written or phoned to tell her. No, that had been left up to Blake, with the curt p.s. to his letter that he thought she should come home. Although he doesnt say so, I know your father wants to see you, he had written in the decisive, black script that was so familiar to herfamiliar because of that other time she had seen it; the day she had discovered the love letter he had written to one of his other women. The tight ball of pain inside her chest expanded and threatened to explode, but she willed it not to. She had already endured all that; she wasnt going to allow it to return. There was a limit to the extent of mental agony anyone could be expected to suffer, and she had surely suffered more than her share, learning in the space of six months that the husband she worshipped had married her simply because he wanted her fathers land, and that he had not even respected their marriage vows for a week of that marriage. While he left her untouched save for the brief kiss he gave her each morning as he left the farm, he had been making love to other women; women to whom he wrote intensely passionate love letterslove letters that had made her ache with longing; with pain; with jealousy. Even now she could still taste the bitterness of that anguished agony. She had gone straight from discovering the letters to her father, complaining that she did not believe that Blake loved her. Not even to him could she confide what she had found, and when he questioned her, she had simply told him of Blakes preoccupation; of his darkly sombre moods, of the little time he spent with her. I dont know why he married me, she had cried despairingly, and her father taking pity on her had explained how worried he had been about the future of the farm once he was gone, and how he and Blake had agreed on their marriage, which was more the marriage of two parcels of land than two human beings.
She hadnt told her father about discovering Blakes infidelities, and for the first time in her life she had truly appreciated how her mother must have felt. From that to making the decision to leave Flaws valley had been a very short step. Blake had been away at the time buying a new ram and she vividly remembered, tiptoeing downstairs with her suitcase and out through the large flagged kitchen, leaving a note for him on the table. In it she had said simply that she no longer wanted to be married to him. Her pride wouldnt let her write anything else, and certainly nothing about Miranda Scott who had been one of Blakes regular girlfriends before he started dating her. She had bumped into Miranda in the library and the other girl had eyed her tauntingly as she told her about the night she had spent with Blake the previous week. Blake had told her that he was buying fresh stock and that he would have to stay in the Cotswolds overnight.
She had asked if she could go with him, thinking that away from the farm she might find it easier to talk to him about her unhappiness with their marriage. In the months leading up to it she had been thrilled by the way he kissed and caressed her and had looked forward eagerly to their wedding night, but she had spent it alone as she had all the nights that followed, and that had been one of the most galling things of all, the fact that her husband didnt find her attractive enough to want to make love to her.
But he found Miranda attractiveso attractive that he had taken her to the Cotswolds with him.
At first when she reached London she had used an assumed name, terrified that Blake would try to find her, and terrified that if he did, she wouldnt have the pride or strength of will to refuse to go back to him. Not that she was under any illusions any more that he wanted her. No, he wanted her fathers land!
Those first six months in London had been bitterly lonely. She had drawn all her money out of her bank account before leaving the valley and there had been enough to support her for the first three months while she took a secretarial course. Her first job she had hated, but then she had found her present job with Alan. She had also enough confidence by then to find herself a solicitor. She could have had her marriage annulledafter all it had never been consummatedbut she hadnt wanted anyone to know the humiliating truththat her husband hadnt found her attractive enough to want to consummate itso instead she had patiently waited out the statutory time before suing for divorce. She had half expected, even then, some reaction from Blake but there had been none and their divorce had become final just five months ago.
Sapphire had been in London seven months before she wrote to her father. Before leaving the valley she had posted a letter to him telling him she was leaving Blake, and saying that nothing would make her come back.
With hindsight she could see how worried her father must have been when he didnt hear from her, but at the time she had been so concerned with protecting herself both from Blake and from her own treacherous emotions that she hadnt been able to think past them.
Do you plan to drive North, or will you go by train?
Jerked out of her reverie by Alans voice Sapphire forced herself to concentrate. Ill drive, she told him. There isnt a direct train service and driving will save time.
Then youd better take my car, Alan told her calmly, I wouldnt feel happy about you driving so far in yours.
It was true that her battered VW had seen better times, and Sapphire felt the same warm glow she always experienced when Alan was so thoughtful. Being married to him would be like being wrapped in insulating fibre; protected. Protected from what? From her past? From her foolish adolescent craving for the love of a man who was simply using her? Thats all over now, Sapphire told herself sharply. Blake means nothing to me now. Nothing at all.
Look, why dont you go home now and get yourself organised, Alan suggested. Youre too strung up to be much use here, and youll need an early start in the morning. Here are my car keys. He frowned. No, Ill go and fill the tank up first. That should be enough to get you all the way there. And when you arrive, phone me wont you? I wish there was some way I could come with you.
Dear Alan. Sapphire rested her head against his shouldera rare expression of physical affection for her. Youre so good to me.
Because youre worth being good to, Alan retorted gruffly. Expressions of emotions always embarrassed him, and as she withdrew from him Sapphire wondered why she should remember so clearly the sensual seduction of the words Blake had written; words which still had the power to move her even now, and yet Blake too was a man of few words, but then unlike Alan, Blakes words were always pithy and to the point. Blake deplored waste of any kind; a true Sefton; and yet there was something about him that had always attracted and yet frightened her. He had spent several years in the army after leaving university. Perhaps that was where he had developed that hard veneer that was so difficult to get past. Sapphire knew that he had been posted to Northern Ireland, and yet his experiences there were something he never did discussnot even with her father. When she had commented on it once, her father had simply said, There are some things a man cant endure to remember, and so for the sake of his sanity he forgets them. War is one of them.
AN HOUR LATER, gripping the cord of the telephone receiver as she waited for someone to answer the phone, she felt her stomach muscles contract with tension. According to Blakes letter her father didnt know he had written, so she must try to pretend that she knew nothing of his illness. The ringing seemed to last for ever, and for one dreadful moment Sapphire pictured her father lying in bed, listening to the demanding sound, too ill to do anything about it, but then the receiver was lifted, the ringing abruptly cut off. Relief made her voice hesitantly husky, Dad, its Sapphire.
The cool male voice, edged with taunting mockery, wasnt her fathers, and the tiny hairs on her arm stood up in prehensile alarm as she recognised it.
Blake?
How very flattering that you should recognise my voice so quickly after all this time.
They say people always remember anything connected with acute trauma, Sapphire snapped sharply. Blake, Ive got your letter. My father, how is he?
Why dont you come home and see for yourself, or are you still running scared?
What of? You? Of course Im coming h back, but I can hardly arrive without warning Dad to expect me.
Very thoughtful. Giving him time to kill the fatted calf is that it? I take it youre coming alone, he added, before she could respond. Flaws Farm only has three bedrooms remember; your fathers in one, his housekeepers in the other, and Im sure I dont need to tell you how the valley will feel about one of its daughters openly co-habiting with a man she isnt married toto say nothing of your fathers feelings.
Gritting her teeth Sapphire responded. Im coming alone, but only because Alan couldnt make it. Now may I please speak to my father?
It was only when Blake put the receiver down that she realized she hadnt asked him what he was doing at Flaws Farm. He had sounded very much at home, and she bit worriedly at her bottom lip. She had forgotten how freely Blake was used to coming and going in her old home, and if she was forced to endure the constant sight of him how would it affect the calm control she had sheltered behind for so long?
It wont affect it at all, she told herself angrily. Why should it? Blake had effectively killed whatever feelings she had had for himand they had only been infatuationa very deep and intense infatuation agreed, but infatuation nevertheless
Five minutes later she was speaking to her father, unable to stop the weak tears rolling down her face. Normally they only rang one another at Christmas and birthdays, and it shocked her to hear the hesitancy in his voice.
Blake tells me you intend paying us a visit?
If youve got room for me. I hear youve got a housekeeper? Sapphire responded drily.
Yes, Mary Henderson. You probably remember her from the old days. She used to nurse at the local hospital. She was widowed a couple of years ago, and her husband left a lot of debts, so she had to sell her house and look for a job. Blake recommended her to me. This is still your home Sapphire, he added in a different voice. Theres always a room for you here.
Without saying it he was making her aware of all the times she should have gone home and hadnt, because she hadnt been able to conquer her weakness; her fear of meeting Blake, and discovering that she wasnt as strong as she had believed. What was she really frightened of though? Blake seducing her? Hardly likelyafter all he hadnt wanted her when they were married, so why should he want her now?
Expect me late tomorrow evening, Sapphire told him. Alans lending me his car, because he doesnt think my old VW is reliable enough. For some reason Sapphire found the silence that followed oddly disconcerting.
Youd better use the top road, her father said at last. Theyve been doing some roadworks on the other one and thereve been traffic jams all week just this side of Hawick.
Mentally revising her plans, Sapphire said her goodbyes. She had planned to drive up the M6 to Carlisle and then take the A7 through Hawick and Jedburgh, rather than using the top road which was shorter but which meant driving along the narrow winding road which crossed and re-crossed the Cheviots.
That night, too wide-awake to sleep, she acknowledged that hearing Blakes voice had disturbed herdangerously so. The sound of it brought back memories she had struggled to suppress; herself at fourteen watching with shy adulation while Blake worked. Fresh from university he had seemed like a god from Olympus to her and she had dogged his footsteps, hanging on to his every word. Was it then that he had decided to marry her? It was certainly then that he had started to put into practice the modern farming techniques he had learned partially at university and partially during his working holidays in New Zealand into force. Perhaps it was also then that he had first cast covetous eyes on Flaws Farm and mentally calculated the benefits to himself of owning its rich acres in addition to his own. She would never know, but certainly he had been kind and patient with her, carefully answering all her shy questions, tactfully ignoring her blushes and coltish clumsiness. She remembered practically falling off her pony one day straight into his arms, and how she had felt when they closed round her, the steady beat of his heart thumping into her thin chest. From that day on she had started to weave the fantasies about him that had taken her blissfully into their marriage.
At eighteen she had known very little of the worldhad only travelled as far as Edinburgh and Newcastle and had certainly not got the sophistication to match Blake. He had left the valley when she was fifteen to join the army and had returned two years later the same and yet different; harder, even more sure of himself and possessed of a dangerous tension that sent frissons of awareness coursing over her skin whenever he looked at her.
The Christmas she was seventeen he had kissed her properly for the first time in the large living room of Sefton Housethe large rambling building his great-grandfather had built when a fire had gutted the old farmhouse. There had been a crowd of people there attending a Boxing Day party and someone had produced a sprig of mistletoe. Even now she could vividly remember the mixture of anticipation and dread with which she had awaited Blakes kiss. She had known he would kiss her. He had kissed all the other girls, but the kiss he gave her was different, or so she had told herself at the time. Her first grown-up kiss; the first time she had experienced the potency of sexual desire. His mouth had been firm and warm, his lips teasing hers, his tongue probing them apart.
Restlessly, Sapphire sat up in bed, punching her pillow. She must get some sleep if she was going to be fresh for her drive tomorrow. No doubt if Blake were to kiss her now she would discover that his kisses were nothing like as arousing as she remembered. She had been an impressionable seventeen-year-old to his twenty-five already halfway to worshipping him, and during the brief spring days he had cashed in on that adoration, until by summer he filled her every thought. He had proposed to her one hot summers day beside the stream that divided Sefton and Bell land. Blake had wanted to swim, she remembered, in the deep pool formed by the waterfall that cascaded into it. She had objected that she hadnt brought her suit and Blake had laughed at her, saying that neither had he. She had trembled as revealingly as a stalk of wheat before the reaper, not troubling to hide her reaction. He had pulled her to him, kissing her; caressing her with what she had naively taken to be barely restrained passion. God how ridiculous she must have seemed. Blakes actions couldnt have been more calculated had they been programmed by computer, and whatever passion there had been had been for her fathers lands and nothing else.
DAMN BLAKE, this is all his fault, Sapphire muttered direfully the next morning, as she ate a hurriedly prepared breakfast. Ten oclock already, and she had hoped to leave at eight, but she hadnt been able to get to sleep until the early hours and then when she had done she had slept restlessly, dreaming of Blake, and of herself as they had been. Now this morning there was a strange ache in the region of her heart. She couldnt mourn a love she had never had, she reminded herself as she had done so often during those first agonising months in London, and Blake had never loved her. It had been hard to accept that, but best in the long run. She had once suffered from the delusion that Blake loved her and the penalty she had paid for that folly had warned her against the folly of doing so again.
It was eleven oclock before she finally managed to leave. The day was crisp and cold, a weak sun breaking through the clouds. February had always been one of her least favourite monthsChristmas long forgotten and Spring still so far away, and she was looking forward to her holiday. There was something faintly decadent about going to the Caribbean in March.
A John Williams tape kept her company until she was clear of the City. Blake had had very catholic tastes in music and in books, but it was only since coming to London that her own tastes had developed. Music was a key that unlocked human emotions she thought as she slowed down to turn the tape over. Alans BMW was his pride and joy, and although she appreciated his thoughtfulness in lending it to her, she was slightly apprehensive with it.
She had planned to stop for lunch somewhere round Manchester, but oversleeping had altered her schedule, and she glanced at her watch as she travelled north and decided instead to press on to Carlisle and stop there.
She found a pleasant looking pub a few miles off the motorway and pulled up into the car park, easing her tired body out of the car. As she walked in the bar she felt the sudden silence descending on the room, and suppressed a wry grimace. She had forgotten how very conservative northern men were. Even now very few women up here entered pubs alone, but she shrugged aside the sudden feeling of uncertainty and instead headed for the bar, breathing in the appetising smell of cooking food.
The menu when she asked for it proved to be surprisingly varied. She ordered lasagne and retreated to a small corner table to wait for it to be served. While she waited she studied the people around her; mostly groups of men, standing by the bar while their womenfolk sat round the tables. So much for womens lib, she thought drily, watching them. If she had stayed at home she could well have been one of these women. And yet they seemed quite happy; they were fashionably dressed and from the snatches of conversation she caught even the married ones seemed to have jobs, which to judge from their comments they enjoyed.
A chirpy barmaid brought the lasagne and the coffee she had ordered. The pasta was mouthwateringly delicious. She hadnt realised how hungry she had been, Sapphire reflected as she drank her coffee, reluctant to leave the warmth of the pub for the raw cold of the February night outside, but she was already late. At last, reluctantly, she got up and made her way to the car, unaware of the way several pairs of male eyes followed her tall, lithe body. She had dressed comfortably for the journey, copper coloured cords toning with a coffee and copper sweater, flat-heeled ankle boots in soft suede completing her outfit. She had always worn her hair long, but in London she had found a hairdresser who cared about the condition of his clients hair and now hers shone with health, curving sleekly down on to her shoulders.
The BMW started first time, its powerful lights picking out the faint wisps of mist drifting down from the hills. Living in London insulated one from the elements, Sapphire thought, shivering as she drove out of the car park, and switched the car heater on to boost. She had to concentrate carefully on the road so that she didnt miss the turning which would take her on to the top road and she exhaled faintly with relief when she found it. The mist had grown thicker, condensation making it necessary for her to switch on the windscreen wipers, the BMWs engine started to whine slightly as the road climbed. She had forgotten how quickly this road rose; the Cheviots were gentle hills compared with some, but they still rose to quite a height. It was an eerie sensation being completely alone on this empty stretch of road, her lights the only ones to illuminate the darkness of the bare hills. Here and there her headlights picked out patches of snow and then visibility would be obscured by the mist that seemed to waft nebulously around her.
Despite the heater she felt quite cold. Nerves, she told herself staunchly, automatically checking her speed as the mist started to thicken. Now she noticed with dismay the patches of mist were longer, and much, much, denser. In fact they werent mist at all, but honest-to-God fog. It was freezing as well. She had thought it might be several miles back when she felt so cold, but now she felt the BMWs front wheels slide slightly, and tried not to panic. The BMW had automatic transmission, but there was a lower gear and she dropped into it, biting her lip as she crawled down a steep hill.
Nine oclock! Her father would be wondering where on earth she was. Why hadnt she rung him from the pub and told him she was likely to be late? It was useless now chastising herself for not anticipating adverse weather conditions. One of the first things she had learned as a child was not to trust the Border weather, but she had lived in London for so long that she had forgotten. She tensed as the BMW slid sickeningly round a sharp bend, blessing the fact that she had the road to herself. She ought never to have come this way. The traffic jams in Hawick would have been much preferable to this.
How many miles had she come? It felt like hundreds, but it was probably barely ten, and it was at least thirty to Flaws valley. She hadnt reached the highest part of the road yet either.
Trying not to panic Sapphire concentrated on the road, watching the thick grey film in front of her until her eyes ached. The road had no central markings; no cats eyes, and on several occasions she felt the change in camber, warning her that she was veering too much to one side or the other.
It was a terrible, nightmare drive, and when the road finally peaked, and she was out above the fog, she trembled with relief. Snow still lined the road, this high up, and the tarmac surface shone dull grey with frost. She was over halfway there now.
Gradually the road started to drop down until she was back into the fog. In her relief to be over the top she had forgotten the sharpness of the bends on the downward road. Several times she felt the BMW slide as she cornered, and each time she prayed she wouldnt panic, refusing to give in to the temptation to brake, trying to steer the car into and then out of the skid.
When she eventually saw the sign for Flaws Valley she could hardly believe her own eyes! Elation made her weak with relief as her senses relayed to her the familiarity of the straight road through the village. Everything was in darkness. People in Flaws village kept early hours. Most of them worked on the land and there was nothing in the village to keep them out late at night. And yet as she remembered it she had never suffered from boredom as a teenager; there had always been plenty to do. Harvest Festivals; Christmas parties and pantomime; summer haymaking; barbecues. Lost in her thoughts she turned instinctively into the road that ran past Blakes farm and then on to her fathers. A wall loomed up in front of her with shocking suddenness, emerging from the mist, making her brake instinctively. She felt the car skid almost immediately, wrenching the wheel round in a desperate effort to avoid the wall. She felt the sudden lurch as the car left the road and came to rest with its front wheels in the ditch. Her head hit the windscreen, the pull of her seatbelt winding her. The shock of her accident robbed her of the ability to do anything but grasp the wheel and shiver. The front of the car had hit the wall. She had heard the dull screech of metal against stone.
She must get out of the car. Shakily she switched off the ignition and freed herself from her seatbelt. Her forehead felt cold and damp. She touched it, staring foolishly at the sticky red blood staining her fingers as she pulled them away. She had cut herself, but she could move, albeit very shakily. The car door opened easily and she stepped out on to the road, shuddering with shock and cold as the freezing air hit her. What next? She was approximately five miles from home and two from the village. Blakes house was half a mile up the road, but she couldnt go there. The village was her best bet. Shakily she started out, only to tense as she heard the sound of another vehicle travelling down the road. From the sound of it, it was being driven with far more assurance than she had possessed. Its driver seemed to know no fear of the fog or the ice. Instinctively Sapphire stepped back off the road, wincing slightly as she realised she must have twisted her ankle against the pedals. Bright headlights pierced the fog, and she recognised the unmistakeable shape of a Land Rover. It stopped abruptly by the BMW and the engine was cut. The drivers door jerked open and a man jumped out. Tall and lean, his long legs were encased in worn jeans, a thick navy jumper covering the top half of his body. He walked towards the BMW and then stopped, lifting his head, listening as though he sensed something.
Sapphire?
Her heart thumping, her body tense Sapphire waited. She had known him immediately, and was shaken by her childish desire to keep silent; to run from him.
Sapphire? He called her name again and then cursed under his breath.
She was being stupid, Sapphire told herself, and added to that she was beginning to feel distinctly odd. Blakes shadowy figure seemed to shift in patterns of mist, the sound of her own heartbeats one moment loud the next very faint.
Blake over here. How weak her voice sounded but he heard it. He came towards her with the certainty of a man who knows his way blindfolded. As he got closer Sapphire could see the droplets of moisture clinging to his dark hair. His face was tanned, his eyes the same disturbing gold she remembered so vividly. He was so close to her now that she could feel his breath against her skin.
So you decided to come after all. He voice was the same; that slight mocking drawl which had once so fascinated her was still there. I began to think youd chickened out Whats the boyfriend going to say when he knows youve ruined his car?
Not one word of concern for her. Not one solicitous phrase; not one comforting touch nothing. She knew she had to say something, but all she could manage was a pitiful sound like a weak kitten, her senses acutely attuned to everything about him. She could feel the leashed energy emanating from his body; smell the clean cold scent of his skin. She shivered feeling reality recede and darkness wash over her. As she slid forward she felt Blakes arms catch and then lift her.
Well, well, he murmured laconically. Here you are back in my arms. The last place you swore youd ever be again. Remember?
She tried to tell him that she had never been properly in his arms; that she had never known them as those of a lover, but it was too much effort. It was simpler by far to close her eyes and absorb the delicious warmth emanating from his body, letting her senses desert her.
CHAPTER TWO
COME ON SAPPHIRE, the shock cant have been that great. The coolly mocking words broke against her senses like tiny darts of ice as she started to come round. She was sitting in a chair in the kitchen of Sefton House, and that chair was drawn up to the warmth of the open fire. The flames should have comforted her, but they werent powerful enough to penetrate the chill of Blakes contempt. Flaws Valley females dont go round fainting at the first hint of adversity, he taunted, watching her with a cynical smile. Thats a London trick youve learned. Or was your faint simply a way of avoiding the unpalatable fact of our meeting?
She had forgotten this side of him; this dangerous cynical side that could maim and destroy.
I knew when I came up here that we were bound to meet, Blake. She was proud of her composure, of the way she was able to meet the golden eyes. My faint was caused simply by shockI hadnt expected the weather to be so bad. She glanced round the kitchen, meticulously avoiding looking directly at him. She lifted her hand to touch her aching temple, relieved to discover the cut had healed. Dont worry, Blake tormented, its only a scratch!
She had either forgotten or never fully realised, the intensity of the masculine aura he carried around him. It seemed to fill the large kitchen, dominantly. Droplets of moisture clung to the thick wool of his sweater, his hair thick and dark where it met the collar. His face and hands were tanned, his face leaner than she remembered, the proud hard-boned Celtic features clearly discernible.
The gold eyes flickered and Sapphire tensed, realising that she had been staring. Whats the matter? Blake taunted, Having second thoughts? Wishing you hadnt run out on me?
No. Her denial came too quickly; too fervently; and she tensed beneath the anger she saw simmering in his eyes. The kitchen was immaculately clean; Blake had always been a tidy man but Sapphire sensed a womans presence in the room.
Do you live here alone?
She cursed herself for asking the impulsive question when she saw his dark eyebrows lift.
Now why should that interest you? As a matter of fact I do, he added carelessly, although sometimes Molly stays over if its been a particularly long day.
Molly? She hoped her voice sounded disinterested, but she darent take the risk of looking at Blake. What was the matter with her? She had been the one to leave Blake; she had been the one to sue for a divorce, so why should she feel so distressed now on learning that there might possibly be someone else in his life? After all he had never loved her. Never made any pretence of loving her. But she had loved him so much that she could still feel the echoes of that old pain, but echoes were all they were. She no longer loved Blake, she had put all that behind her when she left the valley. Molly Jessop, Blake elucidated laconically, You probably remember her as Molly Sutcliffe. She married Will Jessop, but he was killed in a car accident just after you left. Molly looks after the house for me; she also helps out with the office work.
Molly Sutcliffe. Oh yes, Sapphire remembered her. Molly had been one of Blakes girlfriends in the old days. Five years older than Sapphire, and far, far more worldly. She had to grit her teeth to stop herself from making any comment. It was no business of hers what Blake did with his life. As she had already told him she had known they would have to meet during her stay, but not like this, in the enforced intimacy of the kitchen of what had once been their home. Not that she had ever been allowed to spend much time in here. The kitchen had been the province of Blakes aunt, a formidable woman who had made Sapphire feel awkward and clumsy every time she set foot in it.
What happened to your aunt? she questioned him, trying not to remember all the small humiliations she had endured here in this room, but it was too late. They all came flooding back, like the morning she had insisted on getting up early to make Blakes breakfast. She had burned the bacon and broken the eggs while his aunt stood by in grim silence. Blake had pushed his plate away with his food only half eaten. She was barely aware of her faint sigh. The ridiculous thing had been that she had been and still was quite a good cook. Her fathers housekeeper had taught her, but being watched by Aunt Sarah had made her too nervous to concentrate on what she was doing; that and the fact that she had been trying too hard; had been far too eager to please Blake. So much so that in the end her eagerness had been her downfall.
Nothing. Shes living in the South of England with a cousin. Ill tell her youve been enquiring about her next time I write, Blake mocked, glancing at the heavy watch strapped to his wrist. Look Id better ring your father and tell him youre okay. Ill run you over there in the morning and then see what we can do about your car.
No! No, Id rather go tonight. My fathers a sick man Blake, she told him. Im very anxious to see him.
You dont have to tell me how ill he is, Blake told her explosively, Im the one who told youremember? Dont expect me to believe that youre really concerned about him Sapphire. Not when you havent been to see him in four years.
There were reasons for that. Her throat was a tight band of pain, past which she managed to whisper her protest.
Oh yes, like you didnt want to leave your lover? His lips drew back in a facsimile of a smile, the vulpine grin of a marauding wolf. Whats the matter Sapphire? Did you hope to keep your little affair a secret?
Affair? Sapphire sat bolt upright in her chair.
Yes with your boss the man youre planning to marry, according to your father. What took you so long?
Its only five months since I got the divorce, Sapphire reminded him stiffly.
But you could have got an annulmentmuch, much faster Why didnt you? Or was it that by the time you realised that you could, that the grounds no longer existed?
It took a physical effort not to get up and face him with the truth, but somehow she managed it.
My relationship with Alan is no concern of yours Blake, she told him coolly. Im sorry Ive put you to all this trouble, but Id like to get to Flaws as soon as possible.
Meaning youd like to get away from me as soon as possible, Blake drawled. Well my dear that may not be as easy as you think. In fact I suspect that when I ring your father now and tell him youre here, hell suggest you stay the night.
Stay the night? Here with you, when the farms only five miles up the road, dont be ridiculous.
She glared at him, her eyes flashing angrily.
You know its probably just as well that you and I have had this opportunity to talk Sapphire. Your fathers perked up a lot since you told him you were coming back. He hopes you and I will bury our differences and get back together.
Stunned, Sapphire could only stare at him. You must be mad, she stammered at last. Were divorced my father
Your father is a very sick man, still as concerned about the future of his familys land as he was
When you married me so that you could inherit it, Sapphire broke in. You took advantage of my naivet once Blake, but Im not a seventeen-year-old adolescent in the grips of her first crush now. Were divorced and thats the way were going to stay.
Even if that means precipitating your fathers death?
She went white with the cruelty of his words. His death, but
Make no mistake about it, your fathers a very sick man Sapphire. Very sick indeed, and worse, hes a man with no will left to struggle. You know that hes always wanted to see the two farms united. That was why he wanted us to get married in the first place.
If hes so keen for you to have the land, why doesnt he simply give it to you? Sapphire asked him angrily.
Because he wants to think some day that a child of ourscarrying his blood as well as minewill inherit Bell land.
Oh so it isnt just marriage you want from me, Sapphire stormed, its a child as well? I wonder that you dare suggest such a thing when
When? Blake prodded softly when she stopped abruptly. When you couldnt bring yourself to touch me when we were married, she had been about to say, but the pain of that time still hurt too much for her to be able to talk about it.
When you know that Im planning to marry someone else, she told him coolly. Blake, I dont believe a word of what youve just said. My father must know that there isnt a chance of you and I getting together again. For one thing, theres simply nothing that such a relationship could offer me.
No. His eyes fell to her breasts, and although Sapphire knew that the bulky wool of her jumper concealed them, she was acutely aware of a peculiar tension invading her body, making her face hot and her muscles ache.
I would have said that being able to give your father a considerable amount of peace of mind would be a powerful incentiveto most daughters, but then you arent like most daughters are you Sapphire? he asked savagely. Or like most women for that matter. You dont care who you hurt or how much as long as you get what you want. Look, I dont want to be re-married to you any more than you want it, but I doubt it would be for very long.
He watched her pale, and sway, with merciless eyes. Your father knows already how little time hes got, and whether you want to admit it or not hes very concerned about the future of his landland which has been in his family as long as this farm has been in mine. Would it hurt either of us so much to do what he wantsto remarry and stay together until
Until he dies? She hurled the words at him, shaking with pain and anger. And for how long do you estimate we should have to play out this charade Blake? You must know, you certainly seem to know everything else.
I was the closest thing to family he has left, Blake told her simply, Naturally his doctor he broke off, studying the quarry tile floor and then raised his head and it seemed to Sapphire that she had been wrong in her original estimation that he hadnt changed. Now he looked older, harder, and she knew with an undeniable intuition that no matter what lies he might tell her about everything else, Blake did genuinely care for her father. Despair welled up inside her. Her father dying Remorse gripped her insides, her throat tense and sore. She badly wanted to cry, but she couldnt let Blake see her break down.
Six months or so Sapphire, he said quietly at last. Not a lot to ask you to give up surely? And you have my word that afterwards that we can part quickly and amicably. This time our marriage will be dissolved.
And the farm my fathers land?
Id like to buy it from youat the going rate of course, unless your London lover wants to try his hand at farming?
Just for a moment Sapphire taxed her imagination trying to picture Alan leading Blakes life. Alan would hate it, and she couldnt keep on the farm and work it herself. Even so, all her instincts warned her against agreeing to Blakes suggestion.
Its a ridiculous idea, Blake, she told him at last, taking a deep breath.
You mean youre too selfish to acknowledge its merits, he countered. I thought you might have grown up Sapphire; might have come to realise that there are other things in life apart from the gratification of your own wants, but obviously I was wrong. Come on, he finished curtly, Ill take you to Flaws.
He strode across the kitchen, thrusting open the door without waiting to see if she was following him. Wincing as she got up from the ache in her ankle, Sapphire hobbled to the door. Cold air rushed in to embrace her in its frosty grip. Across the cobbled yard she could make out the bulky shape of the Land-Rover. Blake opened the door and started up the engine. He must be able to see that she was having difficulty walking, Sapphire fumed as she was caught in the beam of the headlights, but he made no effort to help her.
It was only when she reached the Land Rover that he finally got out, walking round to the passenger side to open the door for her. When his hands suddenly gripped her waist she froze, her whole body tensing in rejection, her stiff, dont touch me, making him tense in return. She could feel it in the grip of his fingers, digging through the wool of her jumper to burn into her skin. What the hell For a moment he seemed about to withdraw and then he spun her round, the proximity of his body forcing her back against the cold metal of the Land Rover. What is it youre so afraid of Sapphire, he mocked, his gold eyes searching her too pale face. Not me, surely. His eyes narrowed. As I remember it I barely touched you. So it must be yourself.
Im not frightened of anything Blake, she managed to reply coolly, still holding herself rigid within the grip of his hands. The warmth of his breath lifted her hair, and she was so acutely aware of him that it was a physical agony. Why, oh why had she come back? She had thought herself strong enough to cope, but she wasnt. Blake still had the power to upset and disturb her. He made her feel just as awkward and insecure as he had done when she was seventeen. I just dont want you touching me.
Frightened I might make you forget all about your London lover? The soft goading tone of his voice was too much for her. Drawing in her breath on a sharp gasp she said coldly. That would be impossible. She turned away as she spoke, leaning into the Land Rover. Blakes fingers continued to dig into her waist and then he was lifting her, almost throwing her into the seat with a force that jolted the breath from her body and made her aware of her aching bruises.
He didnt speak until he was in the Land-Rover beside her, his eyes fixed on the fog-shrouded lane as he said softly, Dont challenge me Sapphirenot unless you want me to accept your challenge. Youve come back from London with some fine haughty airs, no doubt meant to keep country bumpkins like myself in their place but it wouldnt take much for me to forget mine Sapphire. Theres one hell of a lot of anger inside me towards you, and believe me it would give me great pleasure to give it release.
Why should Blake be angry? Resentment burned through Sapphire as they drove towards Flaws Farm. She was the one who should be that; and not just angry but bitter too. Blake had never wanted her; he had callously used her adolescent adoration of him, had ruthlessly exploited her feelings, and now he was saying he was angry. He could say what he liked, but there was no way she was going to agree to his outrageous suggestion that they re-marry. Did he think she was totally without intelligence? She knew what he wanted well enoughthe same thing he had always wanted. Her fathers land. The Seftons and the Bells hadnt always been friendly to one another, and the border reiver had spawned a race of men who all possessed his reckless touch of acquisitiveness. There had been several Seftons who had cast covetous eyes on Flaws farm and thought to make it theirs, but so far none had ever succeeded.
Now she was being foolish, Sapphire chided herself. Blake was no border reiver, for all that he had inherited his wild ancestors darkly Celtic looks, and it was true that her father admired and respected him, but surely not to the extent of wanting her, his daughter, to put herself within his power once more?
Sapphire darted a glance at Blake. He was concentrating on his driving, his profile faintly hawkish, his hands assured and knowing as he turned the wheel. There was nothing indecisive or unsure about Blake, she acknowledged. That was what she had admired so much in him as a teenager, and even now, watching him she was conscious of a faint frisson of awareness, a purely feminine acknowledgement of his masculinity. Stop it, she warned herself as they turned into Flaws Farm Lane. Stop thinking about him.
When the Land Rover stopped, she glanced uncomfortably at him. Are you coming in with me?
Do you really want me to? he asked mockingly, before shaking his head. No, unlike you Sapphire, Im not hard enough to raise hopes in your fathers heart that I cant fulfil. Your father means a lot to me, he added, startling her with his admission. Ive always admired him, even patterned myself on him as a youngster I supposemy own grandfather was too cold and distanthe never ceased mourning my father. Id give a lot to see your father happy.
And even more to make sure that you get Flaws land, Sapphire threw at him bitterly, even to the extent of marrying me. I fell for it once Blake, Im not going to fall for it again.
It was only as she struggled across the yard that she remembered about her luggage, still in Alans car. It was too late to turn around and call Blake back now, he was already reversing out of the yard. Sighing, Sapphire found the familiar back door and unlatched it. The kitchen was much as she remembered it. Her father used to employ a housekeeper to look after the house, but she had retired just after Sapphires marriage. For a while he had managed with daily help from the village, but now it seemed he was employing someone else.
The door to the hall opened as Sapphire stepped into the kitchen and a woman entered the room. For a second they stared at one another and then the woman smiled tentatively, offering her hand. Mary, she introduced herself, and you must be Sapphire. Your fathers been worrying about you.
There was just enough reproof in the calm, softly burred voice for Sapphire to flush and feel at a disadvantage. Mary was somewhere in her late thirties, plumpish with smooth brown hair and warm eyes. The sort of calm, serene, capable woman she had always envied.
Im sorry about that. Quickly she explained how she had been delayed, warmed by the quick sympathy in the hazel eyes.
May I see my father? Sapphire asked tentatively. She had been nerving herself for this moment ever since Blake had told her the seriousness of her fathers condition, and her palms were damp and sticky as she followed Mary up the familiar stairs. Her fathers bedroom had windows that looked out over the hills, but tonight the curtains were drawn to obscure the view.
Its all right Mary, you can switch the lamp on, her fathers familiar voice growled as Sapphire stood awkwardly by the door in the half light. I am awake.
Sapphires here, Mary told him, snapping on the bedside light. Perhaps it was the warm glow from the lamp but her father didnt look as ill as she had anticipated. Her legs felt shaky as she approached his bed, regret, guilt, and a dozen other emotions clamouring for expression. In the end all she could manage was a choked Dad, and then she was in her fathers arms, hugging him tightly, trying not to give way to tears.
Well now, and hows my lass? Let me have a look at you. As he held her slightly away from him, studying her features, Sapphire studied his. Her father had always had a tall, spare frame, but now he was gaunt, almost painfully thin, the weathered tanned face she remembered frighteningly palea sick-room pallor Sapphire acknowledged.
Dad, if only Id known
Stop tormenting yourself, I wouldnt let Blake tell you. Youre far too thin, he scolded. Mary will have to feed you up while youre here. Borders men dont like their women skinny.
But London men do, Sapphire responded, withdrawing from him a little, sensing danger.
Youre later than we expected.
Umm, I had a slight accident. Quickly she explained.
You should have stayed overnight with Blake.
Im sure neither Blake nor I would have felt comfortable if I had Dad, she said quietly. Were divorced now.
Mores the pity. He frowned, the happiness fading from his eyes. You should never have left him lass, but then you were so young, and young things take things so seriously.
If anyone had asked her only days ago if her father had accepted her divorce Sapphire would have had no hesitation in saying yes but now, suddenly, she knew he had not. She looked away from the bed, blinking back tears she wasnt sure were for her father or herself. As she did so she saw Mary glance sympathetically at her.
Ill run you a bath, she offered, You must be exhausted.
Yes, you go along to bed, her father agreed. Well talk in the morning. He closed his eyes, his face almost waxen with exhaustion and fear pierced her. Her father was going to die. Until now she hadnt truly accepted it, but suddenly seeing him, seeing his frailty she did. Dad, whos looking after the farm? she asked him trying to force back the painful knowledge.
Why Blake of course. He looked surprised that she needed to ask. And a fine job hes doing of it too.
Marys hand on her arm drew her away from the bed. On the landing Sapphire turned to the older woman, unable to hold back her tears any longer. Why? she asked bitterly. Why did no-one tell me? Get in touch with me, Id no idea
Shaking her head Mary gestured downstairs, not speaking until Sapphire had followed her down and they were back in the kitchen. Blake said not to, she said quietly, he thought it best. At least at first.
Blake had thought. Blake had said Bitterness welled up inside her coupled with a fierce jealousy as she acknowledged something she had always kept hidden even from herself. Her father would have preferred a son a male to continue the family line and although he loved her, it was to Blake that he had always confided his innermost thoughts, Blake who he thought of as a son Blake who he turned to when he needed someone to lean on and not her.
There, sit down and cry it all out, Mary said gently. It must have come as a shock to you.
Is it true that that my father Sapphire couldnt go on. Tears were streaming down her face and she dug in her jeans pocket for a handkerchief. Hes been a very sick man, Mary said compassionately, her eyes sliding away from Sapphires. His heart isnt too strong and this bout of pneumonia, but having you home has given him a real fillip.
I never knew how he felt about the divorce until tonight. Sapphire almost whispered the words, saying them more to herself than Mary, but the other woman caught them and smiled sympathetically. Blake means a lot to him, she agreed, he thought that your marriage protected both you and Flaws land.
He worries a lot about the land doesnt he? Sapphires voice was unconsciously bitter.
And about you, Mary told her. The land is like a sacred trust to him and he has a strong sense of duty and responsibility towards it.
Strong enough to want to see Blake and me back together again? Sapphire asked bleakly.
Mary said nothing, but the way her eyes refused to meet Sapphires told her what she wanted to know.
You obviously know my father very well, she said quietly at last. He confides in you far more than he ever confided in me.
Im a trained nurse, Mary told her, and that is how I first came to know your father. When he was first ill he needed a full-time nurse. Dr Forrest recommended me, and your father asked me to stay on as his housekeeper-cum-nurse. The relationship between patient and nurse is one of trust. It has to be. I cant deny that your father, like many people of his generation, doesnt wholly approve of divorce, and he does feel that the land would be properly cared for by Blake, and
And that if Blake and I had a son that son would inherit Flaws Farm and would also be half Bell.
Sapphire sighed, suddenly feeling intensely tired. Too much had happened too soon, and she couldnt take it all in.
There was a phone call for you, Mary added, an Alan. I said youd ring back in the morning.
Alan! Sapphire started guiltily. She had almost forgotten about him, and even more unforgivably she had forgotten about his car. The BMW was Alans pride and joy and he wouldnt be too pleased to hear about her accident.
Tomorrow, she thought wearily as she climbed into bed. Tomorrow she would think about what had happened. Somehow she would have to convince her father that there was no chance of her and Blake getting together again. Selfish, Blake had called her. Was she? Her father had very little time left to live six months or so if she re-married Blake she would be giving her father a gift of happiness and peace of mind which surely meant more than her own pride and freedom? She wasnt seventeen any more, held in thrall by her adoration of Blake. She could handle him now as she hadnt been able to do then. A six-month marriage which would be quickly annulledsix months out of her life as payment for her fathers peace of mind. What ought she to do?
CHAPTER THREE
GOOD MORNING. Mary smiled a warm welcome at Sapphire as she walked into the kitchen. I was just about to bring you up a cup of tea.
Yes, Ive overslept disgracefully, Sapphire said wryly. Time was when she had thought nothing of getting up at half-past five with her father.
You were exhausted, what with the accident and all. Oh that reminds me, Blake rang. He said not to panic about your luggage. Hes bringing it over later when he comes to see your father. He calls in most days, she added, plugging in the kettle. Your father looks forward to his visits, Blake keeps him up to date on how the farms running.
May I go up and see my father? Sapphire didnt want to think about Blake right now. He had occupied far too many of her thoughts already.
Of course. Again Mary smiled warmly. Would you like to have your breakfast first?
Just a cup of coffee will be fine, Sapphire assured her. Ill go up now. Before Blake arrives, she could have added, but didnt. Somehow, quite how she didnt know yet, but somehow she was going to have to find a way to explain to her father that she and Blake were parted for good. Even now she could still remember that agony of those first months in London, of having to come to terms with the truth about her marriage; about Blakes feelings for her. He had tolerated her because he wanted the farm. He had never loved her, never desired her and knowing that she had not seen these truths had diminished her self-esteem to such an extent that she had felt somehow as though everyone who saw her or spoke to her, must share Blakes opinion of her. The only way she could escape had been to shut herself off mentally from the rest of the world. There had been days when she felt like dying; days when she would have given anything simply not to wake up in the morning. But all that was past now, she reminded herself. She had overcome the trauma of Blakes rejection; had put the past and all that it held, safely behind her. But she couldnt forget it, she acknowledged. She still occasionally had those terrible dreams when she was forced to witness Blake making love to Miranda, when she had to endure the sound of their mocking laughter. How she had hated herself; everything about herself, from her height to the colour of her hair, torturing herself by imagining how many times Blake must have looked at her and put Miranda in her place. The only thing that surprised her was that Blake hadnt married. Those love letters she had found had obviously been meant for Miranda.
No-one, not even Alan knew how totally Blake had rejected her; physically, mentally and emotionally. And facing up to that knowledge had driven her almost to the point where she lost her sanity. But she had emerged from it all a stronger person. Being forced to come face to face with the truth had made her re-evaluate herself completely. No man would ever hurt her now as Blake had done. She allowed no-one to come close enough to her to do so.
If Alan did propose to her she would probably accept him. She wanted a family; she and Alan got on well. She would never feel for him what she had once felt for Blake, but then he would never look at her body, imagining it was another womans, he would never lie to her, or look at her with contempt. Blake was an arrogant bastard, she thought bitterly as she stood at the top of the stairs, poised to enter her fathers room. After what hed done to her, she didnt know how he had the nerve to suggest what he had.
Sapphire. Her father greeted her happily, from his chair by the window. The cold March sunshine picked out with cruel clarity the signs of wasting on his face, and Sapphire was overwhelmed with a rush of emotion.
Dad. She went over to him, hugging him briefly and then turning away before he could see her tears.
.
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PENNY JORDAN
Penny Jordan needs no introduction as arguably the most recognisable name writing for Mills & Boon. We have celebrated her wonderful writing with a special collection, many of which for the first time in eBook format and all available right now.A six-month marriage; a quick annulment Blake Sefton had married Sapphire to acquire her father's Cotswolds farm. And at first she'd been too besotted with him to realize that his passion burned for his mistress, Miranda, not for his virgin bride. Then Sapphire had discovered Blake's secret love letters and the reason he'd been unable to bring himself to share his wife's bed.Painfully disillusioned, she'd run away and divorced him. Now four years later she was considering remarrying Blake temporarily to ease her dying father's mind. After all, Blake hadn't desired her before, so what would he want with her now?
Celebrate the legend that is bestselling author
PENNY JORDAN
Phenomenally successful author of more than two hundred books with sales of over a hundred million copies!
Penny Jordans novels are loved by millions of readers all around the word in many different languages. Mills & Boon are proud to have published one hundred and eighty-seven novels and novellas written by Penny Jordan, who was a reader favourite right from her very first novel through to her last.
This beautiful digital collection offers a chance to recapture the pleasure of all of Penny Jordans fabulous, glamorous and romantic novels for Mills & Boon.
About the Author
PENNY JORDAN is one of Mills & Boons most popular authors. Sadly, Penny died from cancer on 31st December 2011, aged sixty-five. She leaves an outstanding legacy, having sold over a hundred million books around the world. She wrote a total of one hundred and eighty-seven novels for Mills & Boon, including the phenomenally successful A Perfect Family, To Love, Honour & Betray, The Perfect Sinner and Power Play, which hit the Sunday Times and New York Times bestseller lists. Loved for her distinctive voice, her success was in part because she continually broke boundaries and evolved her writing to keep up with readers changing tastes. Publishers Weekly said about Jordan Women everywhere will find pieces of themselves in Jordans characters and this perhaps explains her enduring appeal.
Although Penny was born in Preston, Lancashire and spent her childhood there, she moved to Cheshire as a teenager and continued to live there for the rest of her life. Following the death of her husband, she moved to the small traditional Cheshire market town on which she based her much-loved Crighton books.
Penny was a member and supporter of the Romantic Novelists Association and the Romance Writers of Americatwo organisations dedicated to providing support for both published and yet-to-be-published authors. Her significant contribution to womens fiction was recognised in 2011, when the Romantic Novelists Association presented Penny with a Lifetime Achievement Award.
The Six-Month Marriage
Penny Jordan
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
CHAPTER ONE
SAPPHIRE, YOU HAVENT heard a word Ive said. Whats wrong? Alan asked her.
The densely blue, dark lashed eyes that were the reason for Sapphires unusual name turned in his direction, her brief smile not totally hiding the concern in their dark blue depths.
Ive had a letter from home this morning, and apparently my father isnt well.
Home? Alan gave her a strange look. Funny, thats the first time Ive heard you call it that in the four years that youve worked for me. Before its always been Grassingham.
Frowning slightly, Sapphire left her desk, pacing restlessly. It was true that in the four years she had worked in London she had tried to wipe her memory clean of as much of the past as she could, and that included any foolishly sentimental references to the border village where she had grown up as home, but in times of crisis, mental conditioning, no matter how thorough, was often forgotten. Her father confined to bed and likely to remain a semiinvalid for the rest of his life!
Unconsciously she stopped pacing and stared through the large window of her office, but instead of seeing the vista of office blocks and busy London streets all she could see was her childhood home; the farm which had belonged to many generations of Bells and which had been handed down from father to son from the time of Elizabeth the First. But of course her father had no son to carry on farming the land he loved, that was why Sapphire gnawed worriedly at her bottom lip. In the Borders people adapted to social changes very slowly. Those who lived there had a deeply ingrained suspicion of new ideas, but had she wanted to do so, she knew that her father would have encouraged her to undertake the agricultural degree needed to successfully run a farm the size of Flaws. However, although she had grown up on the farm she had had no desire to take over from her father.
Flaws valley was one of the most fertile in the area, and should her father decide to sell, there would be no shortage of buyers. But how could he sell? It would break his heart. After her mother had left him he had devoted himself exclusively to the farm and to her. Her mother. Sapphire sighed. She could barely remember her now, although she knew that she looked very much like her.
It was from her American mother that she had inherited her wheat blonde hair and long lithe body, both of which were viewed with a touch of scorn in the Borders.
Shes the looks and temperament of a race horse, one neighbour had once commented scornfully to her father, but what you need for these valleys is a sturdy pony.
Acutely sensitive, Sapphire had grown up knowing that the valley disapproved of her mother. She had been flighty; she had been foreign; but worst of all she had been beautiful with no other purpose in life but to be beautiful. Although she had been fiercely partisan on her fathers behalf as a childafter all she too had shared his sense of rejection, for when her mother left with her lover there had been no question of taking a four-year-old child with herolder now herself Sapphire could understand how the valley had stifled and finally broken a woman like her mother, until there had been nothing left for her other than flight.
A farmers hours were long hours, and her mother had craved parties and entertainment, whereas all her father wanted to do in the evenings was to relax. Her mother was dead now, killed in a car accident in California, and she Despite the warmth of her centrally heated office Sapphire shivered. She knew she had never been wholly accepted by her peers in the valley and that was why she had responded so hungrily to whatever scraps of attention she had been given. A bitter smile curved her mouth and she looked up to find Alan watching her worriedly.
Dear Alan. Their relationship was such a comfortable one. She enjoyed working for him, and after the emotional minefields she had left behind her when she left the valley, his calm affection made her feel secure and relaxed. Their friends looked on them as an established couple although as yet they werent lovers, which suited Sapphire very well. She wasnt sure if she was strong enough yet to involve herself too intimately with another human being. As she knew all too well, intimacy brought both pleasure and pain and her fear of that pain was still stronger than her need of its pleasure. Divorce was like that, so other people who had been through the same thing told her. Along with the self-doubts and anguish ran a deep current of inner dread of commitment.
Alan, Im afraid Im going to have to ask for time off so that I can go and see my father.
Of course. If we werent so busy, Id drive you up there myself. How long do you think youll need? Weve got quite a lot to get through before the end of the month and were away for all of March.
Alans small import business had been very successful the previous year and he was rewarding himself and Sapphire with a months holiday cruising round the Caribbean; an idyll which Sapphire sensed would culminate in them becoming lovers. Without saying so outright Alan had intimated that he wanted to marry her. Her father seemed to have sensed it too because in his last letter to her he had teased her about the intentions of this man she wrote about so often. She had written back, saying that they were strictly honourable.
Dont worry too much. Alan comforted, misunderstanding the reason for her brief frown. If your fathers well enough to write
He isnt. Sapphire cut in, her frown deepening.
Then who was the letter from?
Blake. Sapphire told him brittly.
When Alans eyebrows rose, she added defensively, He and my father are very close. His land runs next to Flaws Farm, and his family have been there nearly as long as ours. In fact the first Sefton to settle there was a border reivera supporter of Mary Queen of Scots, who according to local rumour managed to charm Elizabeth enough to be pardoned.
Do you still think about him?
For a moment the quiet question threw her. She knew quite well who the him Alan referred to was, and her face paled slightly under her skilful application of makeup. Blake? she asked lightly, adopting the casual tone she always used when anyone asked her about her ex-husband. We were married when I was eighteen and we parted six months later. I dont think about him any more than I have to, Alan. He was twenty-six when we were married, and unlike me he knew exactly what he was doing.
I hardly recognise you when you talk about him, Alan murmured coming across to touch her comfortingly. Your voice goes so cold
Perhaps because when I talk about Blake thats how I feel; terribly cold, and very, very old. Our marriage was a complete disaster. Blake was unfaithful to me right from the start. The only reason he married me was because he wanted Flaws land, but I was too besottedtoo adolescently infatuated with him to see that. I thought he loved me, and discovering that he didnt
She shuddered, unable to go any further; unable to explain even now the terrible sense of disillusionment and betrayal she had experienced when she discovered the truth about her marriage. It was four years since she had last seen her father, she reminded herself, mainly because she had refused to go home and risk meeting Blake, and her father had been too busy with the farm to come to London to see her. And now this morning she had received Blakes letter, telling her about the pneumonia that had confined her father to bed.
A terrible ache spread through her body. It hurt to know that her father had been so ill and she had not known. He had not written or phoned to tell her. No, that had been left up to Blake, with the curt p.s. to his letter that he thought she should come home. Although he doesnt say so, I know your father wants to see you, he had written in the decisive, black script that was so familiar to herfamiliar because of that other time she had seen it; the day she had discovered the love letter he had written to one of his other women. The tight ball of pain inside her chest expanded and threatened to explode, but she willed it not to. She had already endured all that; she wasnt going to allow it to return. There was a limit to the extent of mental agony anyone could be expected to suffer, and she had surely suffered more than her share, learning in the space of six months that the husband she worshipped had married her simply because he wanted her fathers land, and that he had not even respected their marriage vows for a week of that marriage. While he left her untouched save for the brief kiss he gave her each morning as he left the farm, he had been making love to other women; women to whom he wrote intensely passionate love letterslove letters that had made her ache with longing; with pain; with jealousy. Even now she could still taste the bitterness of that anguished agony. She had gone straight from discovering the letters to her father, complaining that she did not believe that Blake loved her. Not even to him could she confide what she had found, and when he questioned her, she had simply told him of Blakes preoccupation; of his darkly sombre moods, of the little time he spent with her. I dont know why he married me, she had cried despairingly, and her father taking pity on her had explained how worried he had been about the future of the farm once he was gone, and how he and Blake had agreed on their marriage, which was more the marriage of two parcels of land than two human beings.
She hadnt told her father about discovering Blakes infidelities, and for the first time in her life she had truly appreciated how her mother must have felt. From that to making the decision to leave Flaws valley had been a very short step. Blake had been away at the time buying a new ram and she vividly remembered, tiptoeing downstairs with her suitcase and out through the large flagged kitchen, leaving a note for him on the table. In it she had said simply that she no longer wanted to be married to him. Her pride wouldnt let her write anything else, and certainly nothing about Miranda Scott who had been one of Blakes regular girlfriends before he started dating her. She had bumped into Miranda in the library and the other girl had eyed her tauntingly as she told her about the night she had spent with Blake the previous week. Blake had told her that he was buying fresh stock and that he would have to stay in the Cotswolds overnight.
She had asked if she could go with him, thinking that away from the farm she might find it easier to talk to him about her unhappiness with their marriage. In the months leading up to it she had been thrilled by the way he kissed and caressed her and had looked forward eagerly to their wedding night, but she had spent it alone as she had all the nights that followed, and that had been one of the most galling things of all, the fact that her husband didnt find her attractive enough to want to make love to her.
But he found Miranda attractiveso attractive that he had taken her to the Cotswolds with him.
At first when she reached London she had used an assumed name, terrified that Blake would try to find her, and terrified that if he did, she wouldnt have the pride or strength of will to refuse to go back to him. Not that she was under any illusions any more that he wanted her. No, he wanted her fathers land!
Those first six months in London had been bitterly lonely. She had drawn all her money out of her bank account before leaving the valley and there had been enough to support her for the first three months while she took a secretarial course. Her first job she had hated, but then she had found her present job with Alan. She had also enough confidence by then to find herself a solicitor. She could have had her marriage annulledafter all it had never been consummatedbut she hadnt wanted anyone to know the humiliating truththat her husband hadnt found her attractive enough to want to consummate itso instead she had patiently waited out the statutory time before suing for divorce. She had half expected, even then, some reaction from Blake but there had been none and their divorce had become final just five months ago.
Sapphire had been in London seven months before she wrote to her father. Before leaving the valley she had posted a letter to him telling him she was leaving Blake, and saying that nothing would make her come back.
With hindsight she could see how worried her father must have been when he didnt hear from her, but at the time she had been so concerned with protecting herself both from Blake and from her own treacherous emotions that she hadnt been able to think past them.
Do you plan to drive North, or will you go by train?
Jerked out of her reverie by Alans voice Sapphire forced herself to concentrate. Ill drive, she told him. There isnt a direct train service and driving will save time.
Then youd better take my car, Alan told her calmly, I wouldnt feel happy about you driving so far in yours.
It was true that her battered VW had seen better times, and Sapphire felt the same warm glow she always experienced when Alan was so thoughtful. Being married to him would be like being wrapped in insulating fibre; protected. Protected from what? From her past? From her foolish adolescent craving for the love of a man who was simply using her? Thats all over now, Sapphire told herself sharply. Blake means nothing to me now. Nothing at all.
Look, why dont you go home now and get yourself organised, Alan suggested. Youre too strung up to be much use here, and youll need an early start in the morning. Here are my car keys. He frowned. No, Ill go and fill the tank up first. That should be enough to get you all the way there. And when you arrive, phone me wont you? I wish there was some way I could come with you.
Dear Alan. Sapphire rested her head against his shouldera rare expression of physical affection for her. Youre so good to me.
Because youre worth being good to, Alan retorted gruffly. Expressions of emotions always embarrassed him, and as she withdrew from him Sapphire wondered why she should remember so clearly the sensual seduction of the words Blake had written; words which still had the power to move her even now, and yet Blake too was a man of few words, but then unlike Alan, Blakes words were always pithy and to the point. Blake deplored waste of any kind; a true Sefton; and yet there was something about him that had always attracted and yet frightened her. He had spent several years in the army after leaving university. Perhaps that was where he had developed that hard veneer that was so difficult to get past. Sapphire knew that he had been posted to Northern Ireland, and yet his experiences there were something he never did discussnot even with her father. When she had commented on it once, her father had simply said, There are some things a man cant endure to remember, and so for the sake of his sanity he forgets them. War is one of them.
AN HOUR LATER, gripping the cord of the telephone receiver as she waited for someone to answer the phone, she felt her stomach muscles contract with tension. According to Blakes letter her father didnt know he had written, so she must try to pretend that she knew nothing of his illness. The ringing seemed to last for ever, and for one dreadful moment Sapphire pictured her father lying in bed, listening to the demanding sound, too ill to do anything about it, but then the receiver was lifted, the ringing abruptly cut off. Relief made her voice hesitantly husky, Dad, its Sapphire.
The cool male voice, edged with taunting mockery, wasnt her fathers, and the tiny hairs on her arm stood up in prehensile alarm as she recognised it.
Blake?
How very flattering that you should recognise my voice so quickly after all this time.
They say people always remember anything connected with acute trauma, Sapphire snapped sharply. Blake, Ive got your letter. My father, how is he?
Why dont you come home and see for yourself, or are you still running scared?
What of? You? Of course Im coming h back, but I can hardly arrive without warning Dad to expect me.
Very thoughtful. Giving him time to kill the fatted calf is that it? I take it youre coming alone, he added, before she could respond. Flaws Farm only has three bedrooms remember; your fathers in one, his housekeepers in the other, and Im sure I dont need to tell you how the valley will feel about one of its daughters openly co-habiting with a man she isnt married toto say nothing of your fathers feelings.
Gritting her teeth Sapphire responded. Im coming alone, but only because Alan couldnt make it. Now may I please speak to my father?
It was only when Blake put the receiver down that she realized she hadnt asked him what he was doing at Flaws Farm. He had sounded very much at home, and she bit worriedly at her bottom lip. She had forgotten how freely Blake was used to coming and going in her old home, and if she was forced to endure the constant sight of him how would it affect the calm control she had sheltered behind for so long?
It wont affect it at all, she told herself angrily. Why should it? Blake had effectively killed whatever feelings she had had for himand they had only been infatuationa very deep and intense infatuation agreed, but infatuation nevertheless
Five minutes later she was speaking to her father, unable to stop the weak tears rolling down her face. Normally they only rang one another at Christmas and birthdays, and it shocked her to hear the hesitancy in his voice.
Blake tells me you intend paying us a visit?
If youve got room for me. I hear youve got a housekeeper? Sapphire responded drily.
Yes, Mary Henderson. You probably remember her from the old days. She used to nurse at the local hospital. She was widowed a couple of years ago, and her husband left a lot of debts, so she had to sell her house and look for a job. Blake recommended her to me. This is still your home Sapphire, he added in a different voice. Theres always a room for you here.
Without saying it he was making her aware of all the times she should have gone home and hadnt, because she hadnt been able to conquer her weakness; her fear of meeting Blake, and discovering that she wasnt as strong as she had believed. What was she really frightened of though? Blake seducing her? Hardly likelyafter all he hadnt wanted her when they were married, so why should he want her now?
Expect me late tomorrow evening, Sapphire told him. Alans lending me his car, because he doesnt think my old VW is reliable enough. For some reason Sapphire found the silence that followed oddly disconcerting.
Youd better use the top road, her father said at last. Theyve been doing some roadworks on the other one and thereve been traffic jams all week just this side of Hawick.
Mentally revising her plans, Sapphire said her goodbyes. She had planned to drive up the M6 to Carlisle and then take the A7 through Hawick and Jedburgh, rather than using the top road which was shorter but which meant driving along the narrow winding road which crossed and re-crossed the Cheviots.
That night, too wide-awake to sleep, she acknowledged that hearing Blakes voice had disturbed herdangerously so. The sound of it brought back memories she had struggled to suppress; herself at fourteen watching with shy adulation while Blake worked. Fresh from university he had seemed like a god from Olympus to her and she had dogged his footsteps, hanging on to his every word. Was it then that he had decided to marry her? It was certainly then that he had started to put into practice the modern farming techniques he had learned partially at university and partially during his working holidays in New Zealand into force. Perhaps it was also then that he had first cast covetous eyes on Flaws Farm and mentally calculated the benefits to himself of owning its rich acres in addition to his own. She would never know, but certainly he had been kind and patient with her, carefully answering all her shy questions, tactfully ignoring her blushes and coltish clumsiness. She remembered practically falling off her pony one day straight into his arms, and how she had felt when they closed round her, the steady beat of his heart thumping into her thin chest. From that day on she had started to weave the fantasies about him that had taken her blissfully into their marriage.
At eighteen she had known very little of the worldhad only travelled as far as Edinburgh and Newcastle and had certainly not got the sophistication to match Blake. He had left the valley when she was fifteen to join the army and had returned two years later the same and yet different; harder, even more sure of himself and possessed of a dangerous tension that sent frissons of awareness coursing over her skin whenever he looked at her.
The Christmas she was seventeen he had kissed her properly for the first time in the large living room of Sefton Housethe large rambling building his great-grandfather had built when a fire had gutted the old farmhouse. There had been a crowd of people there attending a Boxing Day party and someone had produced a sprig of mistletoe. Even now she could vividly remember the mixture of anticipation and dread with which she had awaited Blakes kiss. She had known he would kiss her. He had kissed all the other girls, but the kiss he gave her was different, or so she had told herself at the time. Her first grown-up kiss; the first time she had experienced the potency of sexual desire. His mouth had been firm and warm, his lips teasing hers, his tongue probing them apart.
Restlessly, Sapphire sat up in bed, punching her pillow. She must get some sleep if she was going to be fresh for her drive tomorrow. No doubt if Blake were to kiss her now she would discover that his kisses were nothing like as arousing as she remembered. She had been an impressionable seventeen-year-old to his twenty-five already halfway to worshipping him, and during the brief spring days he had cashed in on that adoration, until by summer he filled her every thought. He had proposed to her one hot summers day beside the stream that divided Sefton and Bell land. Blake had wanted to swim, she remembered, in the deep pool formed by the waterfall that cascaded into it. She had objected that she hadnt brought her suit and Blake had laughed at her, saying that neither had he. She had trembled as revealingly as a stalk of wheat before the reaper, not troubling to hide her reaction. He had pulled her to him, kissing her; caressing her with what she had naively taken to be barely restrained passion. God how ridiculous she must have seemed. Blakes actions couldnt have been more calculated had they been programmed by computer, and whatever passion there had been had been for her fathers lands and nothing else.
DAMN BLAKE, this is all his fault, Sapphire muttered direfully the next morning, as she ate a hurriedly prepared breakfast. Ten oclock already, and she had hoped to leave at eight, but she hadnt been able to get to sleep until the early hours and then when she had done she had slept restlessly, dreaming of Blake, and of herself as they had been. Now this morning there was a strange ache in the region of her heart. She couldnt mourn a love she had never had, she reminded herself as she had done so often during those first agonising months in London, and Blake had never loved her. It had been hard to accept that, but best in the long run. She had once suffered from the delusion that Blake loved her and the penalty she had paid for that folly had warned her against the folly of doing so again.
It was eleven oclock before she finally managed to leave. The day was crisp and cold, a weak sun breaking through the clouds. February had always been one of her least favourite monthsChristmas long forgotten and Spring still so far away, and she was looking forward to her holiday. There was something faintly decadent about going to the Caribbean in March.
A John Williams tape kept her company until she was clear of the City. Blake had had very catholic tastes in music and in books, but it was only since coming to London that her own tastes had developed. Music was a key that unlocked human emotions she thought as she slowed down to turn the tape over. Alans BMW was his pride and joy, and although she appreciated his thoughtfulness in lending it to her, she was slightly apprehensive with it.
She had planned to stop for lunch somewhere round Manchester, but oversleeping had altered her schedule, and she glanced at her watch as she travelled north and decided instead to press on to Carlisle and stop there.
She found a pleasant looking pub a few miles off the motorway and pulled up into the car park, easing her tired body out of the car. As she walked in the bar she felt the sudden silence descending on the room, and suppressed a wry grimace. She had forgotten how very conservative northern men were. Even now very few women up here entered pubs alone, but she shrugged aside the sudden feeling of uncertainty and instead headed for the bar, breathing in the appetising smell of cooking food.
The menu when she asked for it proved to be surprisingly varied. She ordered lasagne and retreated to a small corner table to wait for it to be served. While she waited she studied the people around her; mostly groups of men, standing by the bar while their womenfolk sat round the tables. So much for womens lib, she thought drily, watching them. If she had stayed at home she could well have been one of these women. And yet they seemed quite happy; they were fashionably dressed and from the snatches of conversation she caught even the married ones seemed to have jobs, which to judge from their comments they enjoyed.
A chirpy barmaid brought the lasagne and the coffee she had ordered. The pasta was mouthwateringly delicious. She hadnt realised how hungry she had been, Sapphire reflected as she drank her coffee, reluctant to leave the warmth of the pub for the raw cold of the February night outside, but she was already late. At last, reluctantly, she got up and made her way to the car, unaware of the way several pairs of male eyes followed her tall, lithe body. She had dressed comfortably for the journey, copper coloured cords toning with a coffee and copper sweater, flat-heeled ankle boots in soft suede completing her outfit. She had always worn her hair long, but in London she had found a hairdresser who cared about the condition of his clients hair and now hers shone with health, curving sleekly down on to her shoulders.
The BMW started first time, its powerful lights picking out the faint wisps of mist drifting down from the hills. Living in London insulated one from the elements, Sapphire thought, shivering as she drove out of the car park, and switched the car heater on to boost. She had to concentrate carefully on the road so that she didnt miss the turning which would take her on to the top road and she exhaled faintly with relief when she found it. The mist had grown thicker, condensation making it necessary for her to switch on the windscreen wipers, the BMWs engine started to whine slightly as the road climbed. She had forgotten how quickly this road rose; the Cheviots were gentle hills compared with some, but they still rose to quite a height. It was an eerie sensation being completely alone on this empty stretch of road, her lights the only ones to illuminate the darkness of the bare hills. Here and there her headlights picked out patches of snow and then visibility would be obscured by the mist that seemed to waft nebulously around her.
Despite the heater she felt quite cold. Nerves, she told herself staunchly, automatically checking her speed as the mist started to thicken. Now she noticed with dismay the patches of mist were longer, and much, much, denser. In fact they werent mist at all, but honest-to-God fog. It was freezing as well. She had thought it might be several miles back when she felt so cold, but now she felt the BMWs front wheels slide slightly, and tried not to panic. The BMW had automatic transmission, but there was a lower gear and she dropped into it, biting her lip as she crawled down a steep hill.
Nine oclock! Her father would be wondering where on earth she was. Why hadnt she rung him from the pub and told him she was likely to be late? It was useless now chastising herself for not anticipating adverse weather conditions. One of the first things she had learned as a child was not to trust the Border weather, but she had lived in London for so long that she had forgotten. She tensed as the BMW slid sickeningly round a sharp bend, blessing the fact that she had the road to herself. She ought never to have come this way. The traffic jams in Hawick would have been much preferable to this.
How many miles had she come? It felt like hundreds, but it was probably barely ten, and it was at least thirty to Flaws valley. She hadnt reached the highest part of the road yet either.
Trying not to panic Sapphire concentrated on the road, watching the thick grey film in front of her until her eyes ached. The road had no central markings; no cats eyes, and on several occasions she felt the change in camber, warning her that she was veering too much to one side or the other.
It was a terrible, nightmare drive, and when the road finally peaked, and she was out above the fog, she trembled with relief. Snow still lined the road, this high up, and the tarmac surface shone dull grey with frost. She was over halfway there now.
Gradually the road started to drop down until she was back into the fog. In her relief to be over the top she had forgotten the sharpness of the bends on the downward road. Several times she felt the BMW slide as she cornered, and each time she prayed she wouldnt panic, refusing to give in to the temptation to brake, trying to steer the car into and then out of the skid.
When she eventually saw the sign for Flaws Valley she could hardly believe her own eyes! Elation made her weak with relief as her senses relayed to her the familiarity of the straight road through the village. Everything was in darkness. People in Flaws village kept early hours. Most of them worked on the land and there was nothing in the village to keep them out late at night. And yet as she remembered it she had never suffered from boredom as a teenager; there had always been plenty to do. Harvest Festivals; Christmas parties and pantomime; summer haymaking; barbecues. Lost in her thoughts she turned instinctively into the road that ran past Blakes farm and then on to her fathers. A wall loomed up in front of her with shocking suddenness, emerging from the mist, making her brake instinctively. She felt the car skid almost immediately, wrenching the wheel round in a desperate effort to avoid the wall. She felt the sudden lurch as the car left the road and came to rest with its front wheels in the ditch. Her head hit the windscreen, the pull of her seatbelt winding her. The shock of her accident robbed her of the ability to do anything but grasp the wheel and shiver. The front of the car had hit the wall. She had heard the dull screech of metal against stone.
She must get out of the car. Shakily she switched off the ignition and freed herself from her seatbelt. Her forehead felt cold and damp. She touched it, staring foolishly at the sticky red blood staining her fingers as she pulled them away. She had cut herself, but she could move, albeit very shakily. The car door opened easily and she stepped out on to the road, shuddering with shock and cold as the freezing air hit her. What next? She was approximately five miles from home and two from the village. Blakes house was half a mile up the road, but she couldnt go there. The village was her best bet. Shakily she started out, only to tense as she heard the sound of another vehicle travelling down the road. From the sound of it, it was being driven with far more assurance than she had possessed. Its driver seemed to know no fear of the fog or the ice. Instinctively Sapphire stepped back off the road, wincing slightly as she realised she must have twisted her ankle against the pedals. Bright headlights pierced the fog, and she recognised the unmistakeable shape of a Land Rover. It stopped abruptly by the BMW and the engine was cut. The drivers door jerked open and a man jumped out. Tall and lean, his long legs were encased in worn jeans, a thick navy jumper covering the top half of his body. He walked towards the BMW and then stopped, lifting his head, listening as though he sensed something.
Sapphire?
Her heart thumping, her body tense Sapphire waited. She had known him immediately, and was shaken by her childish desire to keep silent; to run from him.
Sapphire? He called her name again and then cursed under his breath.
She was being stupid, Sapphire told herself, and added to that she was beginning to feel distinctly odd. Blakes shadowy figure seemed to shift in patterns of mist, the sound of her own heartbeats one moment loud the next very faint.
Blake over here. How weak her voice sounded but he heard it. He came towards her with the certainty of a man who knows his way blindfolded. As he got closer Sapphire could see the droplets of moisture clinging to his dark hair. His face was tanned, his eyes the same disturbing gold she remembered so vividly. He was so close to her now that she could feel his breath against her skin.
So you decided to come after all. He voice was the same; that slight mocking drawl which had once so fascinated her was still there. I began to think youd chickened out Whats the boyfriend going to say when he knows youve ruined his car?
Not one word of concern for her. Not one solicitous phrase; not one comforting touch nothing. She knew she had to say something, but all she could manage was a pitiful sound like a weak kitten, her senses acutely attuned to everything about him. She could feel the leashed energy emanating from his body; smell the clean cold scent of his skin. She shivered feeling reality recede and darkness wash over her. As she slid forward she felt Blakes arms catch and then lift her.
Well, well, he murmured laconically. Here you are back in my arms. The last place you swore youd ever be again. Remember?
She tried to tell him that she had never been properly in his arms; that she had never known them as those of a lover, but it was too much effort. It was simpler by far to close her eyes and absorb the delicious warmth emanating from his body, letting her senses desert her.
CHAPTER TWO
COME ON SAPPHIRE, the shock cant have been that great. The coolly mocking words broke against her senses like tiny darts of ice as she started to come round. She was sitting in a chair in the kitchen of Sefton House, and that chair was drawn up to the warmth of the open fire. The flames should have comforted her, but they werent powerful enough to penetrate the chill of Blakes contempt. Flaws Valley females dont go round fainting at the first hint of adversity, he taunted, watching her with a cynical smile. Thats a London trick youve learned. Or was your faint simply a way of avoiding the unpalatable fact of our meeting?
She had forgotten this side of him; this dangerous cynical side that could maim and destroy.
I knew when I came up here that we were bound to meet, Blake. She was proud of her composure, of the way she was able to meet the golden eyes. My faint was caused simply by shockI hadnt expected the weather to be so bad. She glanced round the kitchen, meticulously avoiding looking directly at him. She lifted her hand to touch her aching temple, relieved to discover the cut had healed. Dont worry, Blake tormented, its only a scratch!
She had either forgotten or never fully realised, the intensity of the masculine aura he carried around him. It seemed to fill the large kitchen, dominantly. Droplets of moisture clung to the thick wool of his sweater, his hair thick and dark where it met the collar. His face and hands were tanned, his face leaner than she remembered, the proud hard-boned Celtic features clearly discernible.
The gold eyes flickered and Sapphire tensed, realising that she had been staring. Whats the matter? Blake taunted, Having second thoughts? Wishing you hadnt run out on me?
No. Her denial came too quickly; too fervently; and she tensed beneath the anger she saw simmering in his eyes. The kitchen was immaculately clean; Blake had always been a tidy man but Sapphire sensed a womans presence in the room.
Do you live here alone?
She cursed herself for asking the impulsive question when she saw his dark eyebrows lift.
Now why should that interest you? As a matter of fact I do, he added carelessly, although sometimes Molly stays over if its been a particularly long day.
Molly? She hoped her voice sounded disinterested, but she darent take the risk of looking at Blake. What was the matter with her? She had been the one to leave Blake; she had been the one to sue for a divorce, so why should she feel so distressed now on learning that there might possibly be someone else in his life? After all he had never loved her. Never made any pretence of loving her. But she had loved him so much that she could still feel the echoes of that old pain, but echoes were all they were. She no longer loved Blake, she had put all that behind her when she left the valley. Molly Jessop, Blake elucidated laconically, You probably remember her as Molly Sutcliffe. She married Will Jessop, but he was killed in a car accident just after you left. Molly looks after the house for me; she also helps out with the office work.
Molly Sutcliffe. Oh yes, Sapphire remembered her. Molly had been one of Blakes girlfriends in the old days. Five years older than Sapphire, and far, far more worldly. She had to grit her teeth to stop herself from making any comment. It was no business of hers what Blake did with his life. As she had already told him she had known they would have to meet during her stay, but not like this, in the enforced intimacy of the kitchen of what had once been their home. Not that she had ever been allowed to spend much time in here. The kitchen had been the province of Blakes aunt, a formidable woman who had made Sapphire feel awkward and clumsy every time she set foot in it.
What happened to your aunt? she questioned him, trying not to remember all the small humiliations she had endured here in this room, but it was too late. They all came flooding back, like the morning she had insisted on getting up early to make Blakes breakfast. She had burned the bacon and broken the eggs while his aunt stood by in grim silence. Blake had pushed his plate away with his food only half eaten. She was barely aware of her faint sigh. The ridiculous thing had been that she had been and still was quite a good cook. Her fathers housekeeper had taught her, but being watched by Aunt Sarah had made her too nervous to concentrate on what she was doing; that and the fact that she had been trying too hard; had been far too eager to please Blake. So much so that in the end her eagerness had been her downfall.
Nothing. Shes living in the South of England with a cousin. Ill tell her youve been enquiring about her next time I write, Blake mocked, glancing at the heavy watch strapped to his wrist. Look Id better ring your father and tell him youre okay. Ill run you over there in the morning and then see what we can do about your car.
No! No, Id rather go tonight. My fathers a sick man Blake, she told him. Im very anxious to see him.
You dont have to tell me how ill he is, Blake told her explosively, Im the one who told youremember? Dont expect me to believe that youre really concerned about him Sapphire. Not when you havent been to see him in four years.
There were reasons for that. Her throat was a tight band of pain, past which she managed to whisper her protest.
Oh yes, like you didnt want to leave your lover? His lips drew back in a facsimile of a smile, the vulpine grin of a marauding wolf. Whats the matter Sapphire? Did you hope to keep your little affair a secret?
Affair? Sapphire sat bolt upright in her chair.
Yes with your boss the man youre planning to marry, according to your father. What took you so long?
Its only five months since I got the divorce, Sapphire reminded him stiffly.
But you could have got an annulmentmuch, much faster Why didnt you? Or was it that by the time you realised that you could, that the grounds no longer existed?
It took a physical effort not to get up and face him with the truth, but somehow she managed it.
My relationship with Alan is no concern of yours Blake, she told him coolly. Im sorry Ive put you to all this trouble, but Id like to get to Flaws as soon as possible.
Meaning youd like to get away from me as soon as possible, Blake drawled. Well my dear that may not be as easy as you think. In fact I suspect that when I ring your father now and tell him youre here, hell suggest you stay the night.
Stay the night? Here with you, when the farms only five miles up the road, dont be ridiculous.
She glared at him, her eyes flashing angrily.
You know its probably just as well that you and I have had this opportunity to talk Sapphire. Your fathers perked up a lot since you told him you were coming back. He hopes you and I will bury our differences and get back together.
Stunned, Sapphire could only stare at him. You must be mad, she stammered at last. Were divorced my father
Your father is a very sick man, still as concerned about the future of his familys land as he was
When you married me so that you could inherit it, Sapphire broke in. You took advantage of my naivet once Blake, but Im not a seventeen-year-old adolescent in the grips of her first crush now. Were divorced and thats the way were going to stay.
Even if that means precipitating your fathers death?
She went white with the cruelty of his words. His death, but
Make no mistake about it, your fathers a very sick man Sapphire. Very sick indeed, and worse, hes a man with no will left to struggle. You know that hes always wanted to see the two farms united. That was why he wanted us to get married in the first place.
If hes so keen for you to have the land, why doesnt he simply give it to you? Sapphire asked him angrily.
Because he wants to think some day that a child of ourscarrying his blood as well as minewill inherit Bell land.
Oh so it isnt just marriage you want from me, Sapphire stormed, its a child as well? I wonder that you dare suggest such a thing when
When? Blake prodded softly when she stopped abruptly. When you couldnt bring yourself to touch me when we were married, she had been about to say, but the pain of that time still hurt too much for her to be able to talk about it.
When you know that Im planning to marry someone else, she told him coolly. Blake, I dont believe a word of what youve just said. My father must know that there isnt a chance of you and I getting together again. For one thing, theres simply nothing that such a relationship could offer me.
No. His eyes fell to her breasts, and although Sapphire knew that the bulky wool of her jumper concealed them, she was acutely aware of a peculiar tension invading her body, making her face hot and her muscles ache.
I would have said that being able to give your father a considerable amount of peace of mind would be a powerful incentiveto most daughters, but then you arent like most daughters are you Sapphire? he asked savagely. Or like most women for that matter. You dont care who you hurt or how much as long as you get what you want. Look, I dont want to be re-married to you any more than you want it, but I doubt it would be for very long.
He watched her pale, and sway, with merciless eyes. Your father knows already how little time hes got, and whether you want to admit it or not hes very concerned about the future of his landland which has been in his family as long as this farm has been in mine. Would it hurt either of us so much to do what he wantsto remarry and stay together until
Until he dies? She hurled the words at him, shaking with pain and anger. And for how long do you estimate we should have to play out this charade Blake? You must know, you certainly seem to know everything else.
I was the closest thing to family he has left, Blake told her simply, Naturally his doctor he broke off, studying the quarry tile floor and then raised his head and it seemed to Sapphire that she had been wrong in her original estimation that he hadnt changed. Now he looked older, harder, and she knew with an undeniable intuition that no matter what lies he might tell her about everything else, Blake did genuinely care for her father. Despair welled up inside her. Her father dying Remorse gripped her insides, her throat tense and sore. She badly wanted to cry, but she couldnt let Blake see her break down.
Six months or so Sapphire, he said quietly at last. Not a lot to ask you to give up surely? And you have my word that afterwards that we can part quickly and amicably. This time our marriage will be dissolved.
And the farm my fathers land?
Id like to buy it from youat the going rate of course, unless your London lover wants to try his hand at farming?
Just for a moment Sapphire taxed her imagination trying to picture Alan leading Blakes life. Alan would hate it, and she couldnt keep on the farm and work it herself. Even so, all her instincts warned her against agreeing to Blakes suggestion.
Its a ridiculous idea, Blake, she told him at last, taking a deep breath.
You mean youre too selfish to acknowledge its merits, he countered. I thought you might have grown up Sapphire; might have come to realise that there are other things in life apart from the gratification of your own wants, but obviously I was wrong. Come on, he finished curtly, Ill take you to Flaws.
He strode across the kitchen, thrusting open the door without waiting to see if she was following him. Wincing as she got up from the ache in her ankle, Sapphire hobbled to the door. Cold air rushed in to embrace her in its frosty grip. Across the cobbled yard she could make out the bulky shape of the Land-Rover. Blake opened the door and started up the engine. He must be able to see that she was having difficulty walking, Sapphire fumed as she was caught in the beam of the headlights, but he made no effort to help her.
It was only when she reached the Land Rover that he finally got out, walking round to the passenger side to open the door for her. When his hands suddenly gripped her waist she froze, her whole body tensing in rejection, her stiff, dont touch me, making him tense in return. She could feel it in the grip of his fingers, digging through the wool of her jumper to burn into her skin. What the hell For a moment he seemed about to withdraw and then he spun her round, the proximity of his body forcing her back against the cold metal of the Land Rover. What is it youre so afraid of Sapphire, he mocked, his gold eyes searching her too pale face. Not me, surely. His eyes narrowed. As I remember it I barely touched you. So it must be yourself.
Im not frightened of anything Blake, she managed to reply coolly, still holding herself rigid within the grip of his hands. The warmth of his breath lifted her hair, and she was so acutely aware of him that it was a physical agony. Why, oh why had she come back? She had thought herself strong enough to cope, but she wasnt. Blake still had the power to upset and disturb her. He made her feel just as awkward and insecure as he had done when she was seventeen. I just dont want you touching me.
Frightened I might make you forget all about your London lover? The soft goading tone of his voice was too much for her. Drawing in her breath on a sharp gasp she said coldly. That would be impossible. She turned away as she spoke, leaning into the Land Rover. Blakes fingers continued to dig into her waist and then he was lifting her, almost throwing her into the seat with a force that jolted the breath from her body and made her aware of her aching bruises.
He didnt speak until he was in the Land-Rover beside her, his eyes fixed on the fog-shrouded lane as he said softly, Dont challenge me Sapphirenot unless you want me to accept your challenge. Youve come back from London with some fine haughty airs, no doubt meant to keep country bumpkins like myself in their place but it wouldnt take much for me to forget mine Sapphire. Theres one hell of a lot of anger inside me towards you, and believe me it would give me great pleasure to give it release.
Why should Blake be angry? Resentment burned through Sapphire as they drove towards Flaws Farm. She was the one who should be that; and not just angry but bitter too. Blake had never wanted her; he had callously used her adolescent adoration of him, had ruthlessly exploited her feelings, and now he was saying he was angry. He could say what he liked, but there was no way she was going to agree to his outrageous suggestion that they re-marry. Did he think she was totally without intelligence? She knew what he wanted well enoughthe same thing he had always wanted. Her fathers land. The Seftons and the Bells hadnt always been friendly to one another, and the border reiver had spawned a race of men who all possessed his reckless touch of acquisitiveness. There had been several Seftons who had cast covetous eyes on Flaws farm and thought to make it theirs, but so far none had ever succeeded.
Now she was being foolish, Sapphire chided herself. Blake was no border reiver, for all that he had inherited his wild ancestors darkly Celtic looks, and it was true that her father admired and respected him, but surely not to the extent of wanting her, his daughter, to put herself within his power once more?
Sapphire darted a glance at Blake. He was concentrating on his driving, his profile faintly hawkish, his hands assured and knowing as he turned the wheel. There was nothing indecisive or unsure about Blake, she acknowledged. That was what she had admired so much in him as a teenager, and even now, watching him she was conscious of a faint frisson of awareness, a purely feminine acknowledgement of his masculinity. Stop it, she warned herself as they turned into Flaws Farm Lane. Stop thinking about him.
When the Land Rover stopped, she glanced uncomfortably at him. Are you coming in with me?
Do you really want me to? he asked mockingly, before shaking his head. No, unlike you Sapphire, Im not hard enough to raise hopes in your fathers heart that I cant fulfil. Your father means a lot to me, he added, startling her with his admission. Ive always admired him, even patterned myself on him as a youngster I supposemy own grandfather was too cold and distanthe never ceased mourning my father. Id give a lot to see your father happy.
And even more to make sure that you get Flaws land, Sapphire threw at him bitterly, even to the extent of marrying me. I fell for it once Blake, Im not going to fall for it again.
It was only as she struggled across the yard that she remembered about her luggage, still in Alans car. It was too late to turn around and call Blake back now, he was already reversing out of the yard. Sighing, Sapphire found the familiar back door and unlatched it. The kitchen was much as she remembered it. Her father used to employ a housekeeper to look after the house, but she had retired just after Sapphires marriage. For a while he had managed with daily help from the village, but now it seemed he was employing someone else.
The door to the hall opened as Sapphire stepped into the kitchen and a woman entered the room. For a second they stared at one another and then the woman smiled tentatively, offering her hand. Mary, she introduced herself, and you must be Sapphire. Your fathers been worrying about you.
There was just enough reproof in the calm, softly burred voice for Sapphire to flush and feel at a disadvantage. Mary was somewhere in her late thirties, plumpish with smooth brown hair and warm eyes. The sort of calm, serene, capable woman she had always envied.
Im sorry about that. Quickly she explained how she had been delayed, warmed by the quick sympathy in the hazel eyes.
May I see my father? Sapphire asked tentatively. She had been nerving herself for this moment ever since Blake had told her the seriousness of her fathers condition, and her palms were damp and sticky as she followed Mary up the familiar stairs. Her fathers bedroom had windows that looked out over the hills, but tonight the curtains were drawn to obscure the view.
Its all right Mary, you can switch the lamp on, her fathers familiar voice growled as Sapphire stood awkwardly by the door in the half light. I am awake.
Sapphires here, Mary told him, snapping on the bedside light. Perhaps it was the warm glow from the lamp but her father didnt look as ill as she had anticipated. Her legs felt shaky as she approached his bed, regret, guilt, and a dozen other emotions clamouring for expression. In the end all she could manage was a choked Dad, and then she was in her fathers arms, hugging him tightly, trying not to give way to tears.
Well now, and hows my lass? Let me have a look at you. As he held her slightly away from him, studying her features, Sapphire studied his. Her father had always had a tall, spare frame, but now he was gaunt, almost painfully thin, the weathered tanned face she remembered frighteningly palea sick-room pallor Sapphire acknowledged.
Dad, if only Id known
Stop tormenting yourself, I wouldnt let Blake tell you. Youre far too thin, he scolded. Mary will have to feed you up while youre here. Borders men dont like their women skinny.
But London men do, Sapphire responded, withdrawing from him a little, sensing danger.
Youre later than we expected.
Umm, I had a slight accident. Quickly she explained.
You should have stayed overnight with Blake.
Im sure neither Blake nor I would have felt comfortable if I had Dad, she said quietly. Were divorced now.
Mores the pity. He frowned, the happiness fading from his eyes. You should never have left him lass, but then you were so young, and young things take things so seriously.
If anyone had asked her only days ago if her father had accepted her divorce Sapphire would have had no hesitation in saying yes but now, suddenly, she knew he had not. She looked away from the bed, blinking back tears she wasnt sure were for her father or herself. As she did so she saw Mary glance sympathetically at her.
Ill run you a bath, she offered, You must be exhausted.
Yes, you go along to bed, her father agreed. Well talk in the morning. He closed his eyes, his face almost waxen with exhaustion and fear pierced her. Her father was going to die. Until now she hadnt truly accepted it, but suddenly seeing him, seeing his frailty she did. Dad, whos looking after the farm? she asked him trying to force back the painful knowledge.
Why Blake of course. He looked surprised that she needed to ask. And a fine job hes doing of it too.
Marys hand on her arm drew her away from the bed. On the landing Sapphire turned to the older woman, unable to hold back her tears any longer. Why? she asked bitterly. Why did no-one tell me? Get in touch with me, Id no idea
Shaking her head Mary gestured downstairs, not speaking until Sapphire had followed her down and they were back in the kitchen. Blake said not to, she said quietly, he thought it best. At least at first.
Blake had thought. Blake had said Bitterness welled up inside her coupled with a fierce jealousy as she acknowledged something she had always kept hidden even from herself. Her father would have preferred a son a male to continue the family line and although he loved her, it was to Blake that he had always confided his innermost thoughts, Blake who he thought of as a son Blake who he turned to when he needed someone to lean on and not her.
There, sit down and cry it all out, Mary said gently. It must have come as a shock to you.
Is it true that that my father Sapphire couldnt go on. Tears were streaming down her face and she dug in her jeans pocket for a handkerchief. Hes been a very sick man, Mary said compassionately, her eyes sliding away from Sapphires. His heart isnt too strong and this bout of pneumonia, but having you home has given him a real fillip.
I never knew how he felt about the divorce until tonight. Sapphire almost whispered the words, saying them more to herself than Mary, but the other woman caught them and smiled sympathetically. Blake means a lot to him, she agreed, he thought that your marriage protected both you and Flaws land.
He worries a lot about the land doesnt he? Sapphires voice was unconsciously bitter.
And about you, Mary told her. The land is like a sacred trust to him and he has a strong sense of duty and responsibility towards it.
Strong enough to want to see Blake and me back together again? Sapphire asked bleakly.
Mary said nothing, but the way her eyes refused to meet Sapphires told her what she wanted to know.
You obviously know my father very well, she said quietly at last. He confides in you far more than he ever confided in me.
Im a trained nurse, Mary told her, and that is how I first came to know your father. When he was first ill he needed a full-time nurse. Dr Forrest recommended me, and your father asked me to stay on as his housekeeper-cum-nurse. The relationship between patient and nurse is one of trust. It has to be. I cant deny that your father, like many people of his generation, doesnt wholly approve of divorce, and he does feel that the land would be properly cared for by Blake, and
And that if Blake and I had a son that son would inherit Flaws Farm and would also be half Bell.
Sapphire sighed, suddenly feeling intensely tired. Too much had happened too soon, and she couldnt take it all in.
There was a phone call for you, Mary added, an Alan. I said youd ring back in the morning.
Alan! Sapphire started guiltily. She had almost forgotten about him, and even more unforgivably she had forgotten about his car. The BMW was Alans pride and joy and he wouldnt be too pleased to hear about her accident.
Tomorrow, she thought wearily as she climbed into bed. Tomorrow she would think about what had happened. Somehow she would have to convince her father that there was no chance of her and Blake getting together again. Selfish, Blake had called her. Was she? Her father had very little time left to live six months or so if she re-married Blake she would be giving her father a gift of happiness and peace of mind which surely meant more than her own pride and freedom? She wasnt seventeen any more, held in thrall by her adoration of Blake. She could handle him now as she hadnt been able to do then. A six-month marriage which would be quickly annulledsix months out of her life as payment for her fathers peace of mind. What ought she to do?
CHAPTER THREE
GOOD MORNING. Mary smiled a warm welcome at Sapphire as she walked into the kitchen. I was just about to bring you up a cup of tea.
Yes, Ive overslept disgracefully, Sapphire said wryly. Time was when she had thought nothing of getting up at half-past five with her father.
You were exhausted, what with the accident and all. Oh that reminds me, Blake rang. He said not to panic about your luggage. Hes bringing it over later when he comes to see your father. He calls in most days, she added, plugging in the kettle. Your father looks forward to his visits, Blake keeps him up to date on how the farms running.
May I go up and see my father? Sapphire didnt want to think about Blake right now. He had occupied far too many of her thoughts already.
Of course. Again Mary smiled warmly. Would you like to have your breakfast first?
Just a cup of coffee will be fine, Sapphire assured her. Ill go up now. Before Blake arrives, she could have added, but didnt. Somehow, quite how she didnt know yet, but somehow she was going to have to find a way to explain to her father that she and Blake were parted for good. Even now she could still remember that agony of those first months in London, of having to come to terms with the truth about her marriage; about Blakes feelings for her. He had tolerated her because he wanted the farm. He had never loved her, never desired her and knowing that she had not seen these truths had diminished her self-esteem to such an extent that she had felt somehow as though everyone who saw her or spoke to her, must share Blakes opinion of her. The only way she could escape had been to shut herself off mentally from the rest of the world. There had been days when she felt like dying; days when she would have given anything simply not to wake up in the morning. But all that was past now, she reminded herself. She had overcome the trauma of Blakes rejection; had put the past and all that it held, safely behind her. But she couldnt forget it, she acknowledged. She still occasionally had those terrible dreams when she was forced to witness Blake making love to Miranda, when she had to endure the sound of their mocking laughter. How she had hated herself; everything about herself, from her height to the colour of her hair, torturing herself by imagining how many times Blake must have looked at her and put Miranda in her place. The only thing that surprised her was that Blake hadnt married. Those love letters she had found had obviously been meant for Miranda.
No-one, not even Alan knew how totally Blake had rejected her; physically, mentally and emotionally. And facing up to that knowledge had driven her almost to the point where she lost her sanity. But she had emerged from it all a stronger person. Being forced to come face to face with the truth had made her re-evaluate herself completely. No man would ever hurt her now as Blake had done. She allowed no-one to come close enough to her to do so.
If Alan did propose to her she would probably accept him. She wanted a family; she and Alan got on well. She would never feel for him what she had once felt for Blake, but then he would never look at her body, imagining it was another womans, he would never lie to her, or look at her with contempt. Blake was an arrogant bastard, she thought bitterly as she stood at the top of the stairs, poised to enter her fathers room. After what hed done to her, she didnt know how he had the nerve to suggest what he had.
Sapphire. Her father greeted her happily, from his chair by the window. The cold March sunshine picked out with cruel clarity the signs of wasting on his face, and Sapphire was overwhelmed with a rush of emotion.
Dad. She went over to him, hugging him briefly and then turning away before he could see her tears.
.
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Пенни Джордан
Тип: электронная книга
Жанр: Современная зарубежная литература
Язык: на английском языке
Издательство: HarperCollins
Дата публикации: 16.04.2024
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О книге: Penny Jordan needs no introduction as arguably the most recognisable name writing for Mills & Boon. We have celebrated her wonderful writing with a special collection, many of which for the first time in eBook format and all available right now.A six-month marriage; a quick annulment… Blake Sefton had married Sapphire to acquire her father′s Cotswolds farm. And at first she′d been too besotted with him to realize that his passion burned for his mistress, Miranda, not for his virgin bride. Then Sapphire had discovered Blake′s secret love letters and the reason he′d been unable to bring himself to share his wife′s bed.Painfully disillusioned, she′d run away and divorced him. Now four years later she was considering remarrying Blake – temporarily – to ease her dying father′s mind. After all, Blake hadn′t desired her before, so what would he want with her now?