Seven Nights With Her Ex
Seven Nights With Her Ex
Louisa Heaton
One week to win her back!
For neurologist Beau Judd, a medical survival course in Yellowstone Park is her chance to experience something completely different. But her trip halfway around the world only brings her closer to her past—the man who left her at the altar!
Twelve years ago Dr. Gray McGregor made the most difficult decision of his life. Now, brought back together with Beau as they head into the wild, he realizes what a mistake it was. Can he win back the woman he loves in just seven days?
This was it! The moment everything about her life would change!
She would enjoy great new experiences. Get back to the basics of medicine and enjoy some survival training.
Plastering a huge smile on her face, Beau opened the door and scanned the room full of faces, ready to say hi.
The smile froze on her face as she realised who was in the room with her.
A man whom she’d hoped never to see again.
The smile left her face and unconsciously she let her hand grip the door frame to keep her balance, wrong-footed suddenly by the shock of seeing him. Her centre of gravity was distorted by the backpack, but also by this imposter—the image of the man who’d broken her heart—standing in front of her.
Of all the parks in all the world, he has to be in mine.
Dear Reader (#ulink_aa15fc98-8ed4-547d-9115-cafcd9369396),
The only times I have bumped into my ex-boyfriends—only two, I promise!—I have managed to ignore them completely. Rather successfully, too, whilst pretending I was having a fabulous time, laughing and chatting with my friends. I have never been in a situation where we were forced to spend time together, and if I had I don’t think it would have gone very well!
Beau and Gray have to spend a week together, and I wanted to explore what would happen when two people who have completely different versions of past events meet and have to get along. Have to rely on one another for their very survival. Would the past get in their way? Would they be able to overcome their difficulties, their prejudices and their hurt and allow the other person back inside their heart?
It was fun to explore this possibility—and to place the story in one of my favourite destinations in the whole world. The glorious Yellowstone National Park. I do hope you enjoy their adventure!
Happy reading!
Louisa xxx
Seven Nights with Her Ex
Louisa Heaton
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
LOUISA HEATON lives on Hayling Island, Hampshire, with her husband, four children and a small zoo. She has worked in various roles in the health industry—most recently four years as a Community First Responder, answering 999 calls. When not writing, Louisa enjoys other creative pursuits, including reading, quilting and patchwork—usually instead of the things she ought to be doing!
To my husband, Nick, who offered to take me to Yellowstone Park as a research trip.
(But we never did get there...sigh...)
Praise for Louisa Heaton
‘I adored this book. The characters were refreshing and the story line was emotional and tugged at my heart.’
—Goodreads on A Father This Christmas?
‘The Baby That Changed Her Life moved me to tears many times. It is a full-on emotional drama. Louisa Heaton brought this tale shimmering with emotions.’
—Goodreads
‘You know that feeling you get after you read an incredibly awesome book...the feeling where you don’t know what to read next because the book you just read was so awesome...? That’s exactly how I feel.’
—Goodreads on The Baby That Changed Her Life
Contents
Cover (#u903150cd-2337-5c9a-8e0b-3bbbf8b8a693)
Back Cover Text (#u14042d18-bbfd-5112-b4ce-235e49f41c0b)
Introduction (#u65a50ca4-9b09-5014-bbbf-caac46404905)
Dear Reader (#ulink_ed1391fa-cafc-551b-8372-ff5b3f90425f)
Title Page (#u9bef6060-a86e-5a78-bf66-9f76ae740c44)
About the Author (#ue6f07989-4cf5-58e1-a5c3-5267297130de)
Dedication (#uf293aa09-1dd5-5095-b7f9-5cc3f052692b)
Praise (#ud414e959-9a8e-548b-9fea-b9f915a4bd6c)
CHAPTER ONE (#ulink_751a8a6d-c6e2-5065-bcc4-222578baf863)
CHAPTER TWO (#ulink_accdd170-b682-5d45-81e4-cf9e9ed3a60c)
CHAPTER THREE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FOUR (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)
EPILOGUE (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ONE (#ulink_660a9daf-f3a0-5959-ba0a-ba05e079a350)
WOW! THIS PLACE is amazing!
Dr Beau Judd drove her hire car into a vacant space outside the Gallatin Ranger Station in Yellowstone National Park. Silencing the engine, she looked out of her window and let out a satisfied sigh.
This was it. This was what she’d been looking for. A return to nature. The vast open expanses of the American wilderness. Huge sweeping plains of golden-yellow wild flowers, ancient stone outcrops, forests of pines and fir trees, beautiful blue skies and the kind of summer weather that people back in the UK could only dream of.
She grabbed her guidebook and flipped through the pages, determined to take every moment that she could to learn about where she was. Those golden flowers—bursting skywards like mini-sunflowers—what were they called? Beau flicked through to the flora and fauna section of her book and smiled.
Balsamroots. Perfect.
Her gaze fell to the text beneath the picture and her smile widened.
Native Americans would often use the sap of this plant as a topical antiseptic.
Now, wasn’t this what she was here for? To learn? And that plant was a perfect start to her new learning experience on the Extreme Wilderness Medical Survival Course. She’d spent too long cooped up in hospitals, on wards, in Theatre. Standing for hours, operating in the depths of a patient’s brain, gazing for too long at X-rays or imaging scans, stuck in small rooms passing along bad news, living in a sterile environment, never seeing the sky or enjoying the fresh air.
Her life had become the hospital. She’d even begun to forget what her flat looked like. There’d been too many nights spent sleeping in the on-call room, too much time spent with patients and their families, so that she hardly saw her own. Hardly had any friends apart from her work colleagues. Hardly saw anyone she cared about at all.
This next week would all be about Beau reclaiming herself. Getting back to grassroots medicine. Getting back to hiking—which she’d used to love, but she hadn’t worn a set of boots for years. Not unless they had a heel anyway.
She was one of the top neurologists in England. Had spent years building up her reputation, skill set and repertoire.
Now was the time to take some time out. For herself. Regroup. Do what she loved. Learn and hike in some of the most beautiful country on the planet.
Beau got out of the car and sucked in a lungful of fresh mountain air. Then she popped the boot so she could get her backpack out. She’d bought all new kit—tent, clothes, equipment, walking poles. All colour-coordinated in a gorgeous shade of red. Matches the hair, she thought with a smile as she tied a bandana around her head to keep her long auburn hair off her face.
The first day’s hike started today. She wanted to be ready. She didn’t want anyone having to slow down because of her. Here she would make friends—hopefully for life—and with this experience under her belt perhaps she could start thinking about doing that season at Base Camp, Everest. Her ultimate goal.
She slung the backpack over her shoulders, adjusting the straps, then closed the boot, locked it. Lifting her sunglasses, she strode over to the ranger station, ready to check in and meet the other hikers. Hopefully she wasn’t the last to arrive. She’d left Bozeman a whole hour earlier than she’d needed to, but still... She’d find out when she got inside.
It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the interior of the log cabin, and then she noticed the receptionist standing behind the counter.
‘Hi, there! I’m Dr Judd. I’m here for the Extreme Wilderness Medical Survival Course.’
‘Welcome to Yellowstone! And welcome to Gallatin. Let me see here...’ She ran a finger down a checklist. ‘Sure. Here you are.’ She ticked Beau’s name with her pen. ‘The others are waiting in the back. Go on through and help yourself to refreshments. They’ll be the last you’ll see for a while!’
Beau smiled her thanks and headed over to the door, from where she could already hear a rumble of voices in the next room.
This was it. The moment everything about her life would change! She would enjoy great new experiences. Get back to the basics of medicine and enjoy some survival training.
Plastering a huge smile on her face, she opened the door and scanned the room of faces, ready to say hi.
The smile froze on her face as she realised who was in the room with her.
A man whom she’d hoped never to see again.
Gray McGregor.
How was he even here? In this small ranger station? In Yellowstone Park? In America? What the heck was he doing? Why wasn’t he back in Scotland? In Edinburgh, where he was meant to be?
This had to be some sort of double. A doppelgänger.
We all have one, right?
The smile left her face and unconsciously she let her hand grip the door frame to keep her balance, wrong-footed suddenly by the shock of seeing him. Her centre of gravity was distorted by the backpack, but also by this imposter—the image of the man who’d broken her heart—standing in front of her.
Of all the parks in all the world, he has to be in mine.
The real Gray she’d not seen for... She thought quickly, her mind stumbling as much as she was, over numbers and years that suddenly wouldn’t compute. Her brain had flipped in a short circuit. Frozen. The ability to add up basic numbers was beyond her at this terrible moment in time.
And the clone just stood there, the smile that had been on his face before he’d become aware of her presence disappearing in the same way that clouds covered the sun. His eyes widened at the sight of her, the muscle in his jaw clenching and unclenching.
It is you.
The noise in the room quietened as the other backpackers sensed a change in the atmosphere, but then rose again slightly as they all pretended not to see.
It was all flooding back! All of it. The day she’d dressed in white for him. The hours spent getting her hair done at home, giggling and laughing excitedly with her hairdresser. Then the hour spent with the beautician, getting her make-up looking perfect. Putting on that dress, attaching the veil, taking hold of her bouquet and glimpsing herself in the mirror before the photographer had been allowed in to take pictures.
The joy and excitement of the day had been thrumming through her veins as with every picture taken, every smile she gave, every pose she stood for, she had imagined walking down that aisle to be with him. Anticipating the look on his face, the way he would smile back at her, the way they would stand side by side in front of the vicar...
Only, you weren’t there, were you, Gray?
The heartache this man had caused...
He looked a little different from the way she was used to seeing him. Back then he’d been fresh-faced, his dark hair longer and more tousled. Today his hair was cut shorter than she remembered, more modern, and he had a trim beard that was as auburn in colour as her own hair. And he was staring at her with as much shock in his own eyes as she was feeling.
But I’m not going to let you see how much you hurt me!
Deliberately she tore her gaze from him, tried to ignore her need to hurry to the bathroom and slick on a few more layers of antiperspirant, and walked over to one of the other hikers—a woman in a dark green polo shirt.
‘Hi, I’m Beau. Pleased to meet you.’
She turned her back on him, sure that she could feel his gaze upon her. Her body tensed, each muscle flooded with more adrenaline than it needed as she imagined his gaze trailing up and down her body.
Resisting the urge to turn around and start yelling at him, she instead tried to focus on what the other hiker was saying.
‘...it’s so good to meet you! I’m glad there’s another woman in the group. There’s three of us now.’
Beau smiled pleasantly. She hadn’t caught the woman’s name. She’d been too busy trying not to grind her teeth, or clench her fists, whilst her brain had screamed at her all the horrible things she could say to Gray. All the insults, all the toxic bile she had once dreamed of throwing at him...
All the pain and heartache he’d caused...she’d neatly packaged it away. Determined to get on with her life, to forget he’d ever existed.
What was he even doing here? Surely he wasn’t going to be on this course, too?
Of course he is. Why else would he be in this room?
Months this trip had taken her to plan and organise. Once she’d realised that she needed a change, needed to escape that cabin fever feeling, she’d pored over brochures, surfed the Net, checking and rechecking that this was the perfect place, the perfect course, the perfect antidote to what her life had become.
It was far enough away from home—from Oxford, where she lived and worked—for her to know that she wouldn’t run into anyone she knew. Who did she know anyway? Apart from her family and patients? And her colleagues? How many of them had planned a trip to Yellowstone at the same time as her? None. The chances of him doing the same thing, for the same week as her... Well, it had never even crossed her mind.
Why would it? She’d spent years forcing herself to not think of Gray McGregor. The damned Scot with the irrepressible cheeky grin and alluring come-to-bed eyes!
Eleven years. Nearly twelve. That’s how long it’s been.
Eleven years of silence. Why had he never contacted her? Apologised? Explained?
Like I’d want to hear it now anyway!
Outwardly she was still smiling, still pretending to listen to the other hiker, but inwardly... Inwardly a small part of her did want to hear what he had to say. No matter how pathetic it might be. Part of her wanted him grovelling and on his knees, begging for her forgiveness.
I’ll never forgive you, Gray.
Beau straightened her shoulders, inhaled a big, deep breath and focused on the other hiker—Claire. She was talking about some of the trails she’d walked—the Allegheny, the Maah Daah Hey.
Focus on her, not him.
‘That’s amazing. You walked those trails alone?’
‘Usually! I think you can take in so much more when you’ve just got to entertain yourself.’
Was he still looking at her? Was he thinking of coming over to speak to her? Beau stiffened at the thought of him approaching.
‘What made you come on this course?’ she asked.
‘Common sense. A lot of walkers I meet on trails are...shall we say, older than me? And when I was walking the Appalachian, this guy collapsed right in front of me. In an instant. I didn’t know what to do! Luckily one of his group was an off-duty responder and he kept the guy alive until the rescue team arrived. You never know when you’re gonna be stuck in the middle of nowhere with no medical assistance!’
Beau nodded.
‘What about you, Beau? What made you come on this course?’
‘I just wanted to get out and about, walking again. Somewhere beautiful. But somewhere I can still learn something. I want to work in the hospital tent on Everest at some point.’
‘Oh, my Lord! You’re braver than me! Are you a nurse, then?’
‘A doctor. Of neurology.’
‘My, my, my! You’ll no doubt put us all to shame! Promise you won’t laugh at my attempts to bandage someone?’
Beau didn’t think she’d be laughing at anyone. The mood of her trip had already changed. Just a few moments ago she’d been carefree and breathing in the mountain air, assuring herself that she’d made the right decision to come here. But now...? With Gray here, too?
She would make him see that she was not amused by his presence. She wasn’t anything! She had no energy to waste on that man. He’d been given more than enough of her time over the years and her life had moved on now. She was no longer the heartbroken Beau whom he had left standing at the altar. She was Dr Judd. Neurologist. Recommended by her peers. Published in all the exclusive medical journals. Award-winning, innovative and a leader in her field.
She would have nothing to do with him this next week, and if he didn’t like her cold shoulder, then tough.
Beau slipped off her backpack, put it to one side and went to make herself a cup of tea at the drinks station. It would probably be the last decent cup of tea she’d experience for a while, and she didn’t want to miss having it. They had time before they set out.
She kept her back to the rest of the room, studiously ignoring Gray.
He would have to get used to it.
* * *
Yellowstone National Park. Over three thousand miles away from his native Edinburgh. He’d travelled over the North Atlantic Ocean, traversed mile upon mile of American soil to make it here to Wyoming, this one small spot on the face of the whole planet, and yet... And yet somehow he had managed to find the one small log cabin in the huge vastness of a national park that contained the one woman he could not imagine facing ever again.
Why would he ever have expected to find her here? This wasn’t her thing. Being outdoors. Hiking. Roughing it in tents and having to purify her water before drinking it. Beau was an indoors girl. A five-star hotel kind of girl. Life for her had never been about struggle and survival. This should have been a safe place to come to. The last place he would have expected her to be. Wasn’t she a hotshot neurologist now? Wasn’t she meant to be knee-deep in brains somewhere?
Seeing her walk into the room had almost stopped his heart. He’d physically felt the jolt, unable to take in oxygen. His lungs had actually begun to burn before he’d looked away, breaking eye contact, his mind going crazy with questions and insinuations as heat and guilt had seared his cheeks.
You broke her heart.
You never told her why.
You deserve to suffer for what you did.
And he had suffered. Hadn’t he?
If only she knew how much he longed to go back and change what happened. If only she knew how much he’d hated himself for walking away, knowing what it would do to her but unable to explain why. If only she knew of how many nights he’d lain awake, thinking of how he could put right that wrong...
But how to explain? It was easy to imagine saying it, but actually having her here, right in front of him... All those things he wanted to say just stuck in his throat. She’d think they were excuses. Not good enough. Was she even in the right frame of mind to want to talk to him?
Beau had turned her back. Begun talking to another hiker. Claire, he thought she’d said her name was.
He took a hesitant step forward, then stopped, his throat feeling tight and painful. He wouldn’t be able to speak right now if he tried. She clearly wanted nothing to do with him. She was ignoring him. Spurning him.
I deserve it.
Other people in the room were milling about. Mixing, being friendly. Introducing themselves to each other. Gray allowed himself to fall into the crowd. Tried to join in. But his gaze kept tracking back to her.
She still looked amazing. Her beautiful red hair was a little longer than he recalled, wavier, too. She’d lost some weight. There were angles now where once there’d been curves, and the lines around her eyes spoke of strain and stress rather than laughter.
Was she happy in life? He hoped that she was. He knew she was successful. Her name had been mentioned in a few case meetings at work. He’d even suggested her once for a family member of an old patient. His own work in cardiology didn’t often give him reason to work with neurology, but he’d kept his ears open in regard to her. Keen to know that she was doing okay.
And she was. Though she had to have worked hard to have got where she had. So had he.
He watched from a distance as she mingled with the others, placing himself in direct opposition to her as she moved. The room was a mass of backpacks, hiking boots, men slapping each other on the back or heartily shaking each other’s hands as they listed their posts and achievements to each other. Two women at the back of the room sat next to each other, their backpacks on the floor as they sipped at steaming cardboard cups. The last taste of civilisation before they hit the wilds of America.
But all Gray could concentrate on now was Beau. And his own overwhelming feelings of regret.
Would simple words of apology be enough?
Would telling her about the many times he’d picked up the phone and dialled her number even be adequate? Considering that he’d never followed through? He had always cancelled the call before she’d had a chance to answer. And all the emails he had sitting in his ‘Drafts’ folder, addressed to her, in which he’d struggled and failed each time to find the right words... The times he’d booked to go to the same medical conference as her, hoping to ‘accidentally’ bump into her, but had then cancelled...
She’d just call me a coward. She’d be right.
He had been afraid. Afraid of stirring up old hurts. Afraid of making things worse. Afraid of hurting her more than he already had...
Time had kept passing. And with each and every day that came and went, it had become more and more difficult to make that contact.
What would have been the point? He could hardly expect forgiveness. Or reconciliation. An apology would mean nothing now. He’d broken things so irrevocably between them. How could he fix them now? He had nothing to offer her. Not then and certainly not now. He was broken himself. And even though he’d known that, years ago, he’d still asked her to marry him! He’d forgotten himself and what he actually was in the madness of a moment when he’d felt so happy. He’d believed anything was possible—got carried away on the possibility of love.
But he didn’t expect her to understand that. They’d come from two separate worlds and she’d known nothing of his family life. Of what it was like. He’d deliberately kept her away from his poisonous family. Kept her at a safe distance because she was so pure, so joyful, so full of life, believing in happy-ever-after.
She still wasn’t married. And that puzzled him. It had been all she’d ever wanted back then. Marriage. And children. It was what she had thought would complete her. After all, she’d said yes to his proposal and then just weeks later had started talking about children.
That was too much. That smacked the reality right back into me.
That was when the full force of not having thought through what he’d done had come to the fore. That was when he’d realised he couldn’t go through with it.
For a man who was an expert in hearts, he’d sure been careless with hers.
And it had almost killed him to know that he was doing it.
* * *
The tea wasn’t great. But she kept sipping it, swapping hands as the heat from the boiling hot water burned through the thin cardboard cup.
She was beginning to get over the shock and was now feeling calmer. She could even picture in her mind’s eye dealing with him quite calmly and nonchalantly if he decided to speak to her. She’d be cool, uninterested, dismissive.
That would hurt him.
Because Gray liked to be the centre of attention, didn’t he? That was why he’d done all that crazy adrenaline-junkie stuff. He’d passed it off as doing something for charity, but even then he’d wanted people to notice him, to say he was amazing or brave. That was why he’d done Ironman competitions, bungee jumps, climbed mountains and jumped out of planes. With a parachute, unfortunately.
He had always succeeded. People had always clapped him on the back and told him he was a great guy and he’d thrived on that. Had lived for that, doing more crazy things despite her always begging him not to. Had he listened? No.
So her ignoring him? Choosing not to notice him? That would have to sting a little.
Gray was an attractive man. Usually the most attractive man in a room. And he wasn’t just a pretty face, but a brilliant cardiologist, too—getting his papers published in the most prestigious medical journals, trying out new award-winning surgeries, being the toast of the town.
He could at least have had the decency to fail at something.
And not once had he called, or apologised, or explained. Even his family hadn’t had a clue—not that they’d spoken much to her. Even before the wedding. Perhaps that had been a clue?
Beau risked a quick glance at him, feeling all the old hurts, all the old pains, all the grief that she’d tried so unsuccessfully to pack away come pouring out as if they’d had the bandages ripped from them, exposing her sore, festering wounds.
She swallowed hard and looked away.
I will not let him see what he’s doing to me!
A rage she had never before experienced boiled over inside her and she suddenly felt nauseous with the force of it. She turned away from him, her hand trembling, and took another sip of her tea. Then another. And another. Until her stomach calmed and her hand grew more steady.
She let out a breath, feeling her brain frazzled with a million thoughts and emotions.
This course was meant to be an enjoyable busman’s holiday for her. Could she do it with him here?
There’s thirteen of us, including the guide. Surely I can just stay out of Gray’s way?
Beau had been looking forward to this adventure for ages. This was the moment her career and her life would take another direction and lead her to places she had never dared to go.
She’d thought about it carefully. Planned it like a military exercise. She’d excelled in her hospital work and was top of her game in neurology. Other neurologists who felt they could do no more to help their patients would suggest her as the patient’s next course of action. She was very often someone’s last chance at life.
And she excelled, knowing that. She lived for it. The staying up late, the research, the practice, the robotic assistance that she sometimes employed, the long, long and challenging surgeries. The eye for detail. The precision of her work.
Awards lined her office walls at home in Oxfordshire. Commendations, merits, honorary degrees. They were all there. But this...
This was what she craved. A week of living by her wits, experiencing medicine in the wild, using basic kit to attend to fractures, altitude sickness, tissue injuries, whilst hiking through some of the most stunning scenery on the planet.
Forget technology—forget the latest medical advancements. There would be no security blanket here. No modern hospital, no equipment apart from a few basics carried in a first aid kit and what she could find around her.
It was perfect.
Even if he was here.
High grey-white mountains, lush expanses of sweeping green and purple, firs and shrubs, thickets of trees hiding streams and geysers. It was a vast emptiness, an untamed wilderness in all its glory, and she would try to beat it. No. Not beat it. Work with it, around it, adapt it to her needs so she could succeed and get another certificate for her wall. Another trophy so that she could think about applying for Base Camp, Everest. So she could work at the hospital there.
That small medical tent, perched on the base of one of the world’s greatest wonders—that was her real aim. Her next anticipated accomplishment.
And there was no way she was going to let all that be ruined by the one man she’d once stupidly fallen in love with and given her heart to. The one man who had broken her into a million pieces. Pieces she still often felt she was still picking up.
She was still trying to prove to the world that she did have value. That she was the best choice. The only choice. His rejection of her had made her a driven woman. Driven to succeed at everything. To prove that he’d made a mistake in his choice of leaving her behind. To prove her worth.
Because I’m worth more than you, Gray. And I’ll prove it to you.
* * *
‘Yellowstone National Park is a vast natural preserve, filled with an ecosystem and diverse wildlife that, if you’re not careful, is designed to kill you.’
Mack, the ranger leading their group, tried to make eye contact with each person standing in the room.
‘There is danger in the beauty of this place, and too many people forget that when they come here and head off-trail. They’re so in awe of the mountains, or the steaming hot geysers, or the dreamlike beauty of a wild wolf pack loping across the plains, that they forget to be careful. To look where they’re going. We are going to be traversing land millions of years old, trying to be at one with nature, but most of all we are here to learn how to look after one another with the minimum of resources. Yes, this could be done in a classroom, but...’ he paused to smile ‘...where would be the fun in that?’
There was some laughter, and Gray noticed Beau smile. It was exactly the way he remembered it, lighting up her blue eyes.
‘Each of you will be issued with a standard first aid kit. When you receive it, you need to check it. Make sure it’s all there. That’s your responsibility. Then we’re going to buddy up. The buddy system works well. It ensures that no one on this adventure goes anywhere in the park alone and that there is always someone watching your back.’
The likelihood of Gray being paired up with Beau was remote. And he certainly wasn’t sure if it was something he wanted. But he caught her glancing in his general direction and wondered if she’d thought the same thing. Probably.
Mack continued. ‘Today we’re going to be hiking twelve miles across some rough terrain to reach the first scenario, where we will be dealing with soft tissue injuries. These are some of the most common injuries we see as rangers, here or at the medical centres, and we need to know what to do when we have nothing to clean a wound or any useful sterile equipment. Now, one final thing before we buddy up... We will not be alone in this park. There are wild animals that we’re all going to have to learn to respect and get along with or stay out of their way. I’m sure you all know we’ve got wolves and grizzlies here. But there are also black bears, moose, bobcats and elk, and the one animal that injures visitors more than bears...the American bison.’
He looked around the room, his face serious.
‘You see one of those bad boys...’ he pointed at a poster on the wall behind him ‘...with his tail lifted, then you know he’s going to charge. Keep your distance from the herds. Stay safe.’
Gray nodded. It wasn’t just bison he’d have to watch out for, but Beau, too. She didn’t have horns to gore him with, but she certainly looked at him as if she wanted him dead.
She was angry with him, and for good reason. He had walked away from their wedding and it had been one of the hardest things he’d ever done. Knowing that she would be left with the fallout from his decision. Knowing that he was walking away from the one woman who’d loved him utterly and completely.
But life had been difficult for him back then, and there was a lot that Beau didn’t know. All she’d seen—all he’d allowed her to see—was the happy-go-lucky, carefree Gray. The cheeky Scot. But the man she’d fallen in love with hadn’t existed. Not really. It had been a front to hide the horrible atmosphere at his home, the problems within his own family: his father’s drinking, his mother’s depression, the constant fights...
Gray’s parents had hated each other. Resented each other. His mother had been trapped by duty with a man she detested. With a man who had suffered a tragic paralysing accident on the actual day she’d decided to pack her bags and leave him.
Being in the same house as them had been torture, watching and listening as they had systematically torn each other apart. Each of them trapped by marriage. An institution that Gray had vowed to himself never to get involved with.
‘Love fades, Gray. Once that honeymoon period is over, then you see your partner’s true colours.’
He could hear his mother’s bitter words even now.
So why had he ruined it all by proposing to Beau? He hadn’t wanted to get married—ever! And yet being with Beau had made him so happy.
The day he’d proposed they’d been laughing, dancing in each other’s arms up close. Her love for him had been beaming from her face, her sapphire eyes sparkling with joy, and he’d wanted... He’d wanted that moment to last for ever. The words had just come out.
Will you marry me?
‘We’ve got one hour before we’re due to depart, so take this time to check your pack, check your first aid kit, use the bathrooms, freshen up—whatever you need to do before we set off. Let’s meet back here at one o’clock precisely, people.’
Mack headed out of the room and a general hubbub began as people began to talk and check their bags and equipment.
Gray had already checked his bag three times. Once before he’d set off from Edinburgh, a second time when he’d arrived in America and a third time when he’d first arrived at the park. He knew everything was as it needed to be. There was nothing missing. Nothing more he needed to do.
Technically, he could relax—and, to be quite frank, he needed a bit of breathing space. He headed outside to the porch of the ranger station and sucked in a lungful of clean air before he settled himself down on a bench and took in the sights.
It was definitely beautiful here. There was a calmness, a tranquillity that you just didn’t find inside a hospital. Hospitals were clean, clinical environments that ran to a clock, to procedure, to rules and regulations. As busy as a beehive, with people coming and going, visitors and patients, operations and clinics.
But here...here there was peace. And quiet. And—
The door swung open with a creak and suddenly she was there. Alone. Before him. Those ice-blue eyes of hers were staring down at him. Cold. Unfeeling.
He got to his feet, his mouth suddenly dry.
‘I think it’s time I made some rules about the next week.’ She crossed her arms, waiting for his response.
‘Beau, I—’
‘First of all,’ she interrupted, holding up her hand for silence, ‘I think we should agree not to speak to each other. I appreciate that circumstance may not always allow that, so if you do speak to me, then I’d prefer it was only about the course. Nothing else. Nothing personal.’
‘But I need to—’
‘Second of all...you are to tell no one here what happened. I will not become the subject of idle gossip. And thirdly...when this is over, you will not contact me, you will not call. You will maintain the silence you’ve been so expert at keeping for the last eleven years. Do you understand?’
He did understand. All too keenly. She wanted nothing to do with him. Which was fair enough. Except that he felt that now she was here, right in front of him, this week might be his chance to explain everything. Forget a pathetic phone call or a scrappy little email. That had never been his style. He had seven days in which to lower her walls, get her to accept his white flag of truce and ask her to listen to him.
But he didn’t want to become the subject of gossip, either. He didn’t want to fight with her. Nor did he want to share so much that she found out about his injury. But time would tell. They had a few days to cool down. They’d get to talk. At some point.
‘I do.’
Her lip curled. ‘You see? That wasn’t too hard to say, was it?’
Then she pointed her finger at him, and he couldn’t help but notice that her hand was trembling.
‘Stay out of my way, okay? I want nothing to do with you. Ever.’
He nodded, accepting her rules for the time being, hoping an opportunity would present itself to allow a little bending of them.
They would have to talk eventually.
* * *
Beau checked her first aid kit against the checklist—gloves, triangular arm bandage, two gauze pads, sticking plaster, tape, antiseptic wipes, small scissors, one small saline wash, a safety pin. Not much for a medical emergency, but she guessed that was part of the challenge. The other part of the challenge for her was going to be a mental one.
Ignore Gray McGregor.
How hard could it be?
She retied her hiking boots, used the ranger station bathroom and then grabbed something to eat, forcing herself to chat pleasantly with some of the other hikers. No one else had a medical background, it seemed, apart from her and Gray. The others were experienced walkers, though, used to long treks and mileage, so she hoped they could all learn something from each other.
At one o’clock precisely Mack came back into the room, followed by another ranger. ‘Right, everyone, gather round. I’m going to issue the buddy list. Now, remember, your buddy is more than just your friend. They’re your safety net, your lookout, your second brain. You don’t go anywhere without your buddy, okay?’
He awaited assent from the group.
‘Now, we’ve tried to divvy everyone up equally and pair people with similar interests, so here goes.’ Mack picked up his list. ‘Okay, let’s see who we have here. Conrad and Barb—you guys are married, so it makes sense to buddy you guys up... Leo and Jack—you guys are both from Texas... Justin and Claire—you guys mentioned you’ve met before, walking the Great Wall of China... Toby and Allan, both ex-Forces personnel...’
Beau shifted in her seat. There were only four of them left to name: her and three guys, one of whom was Gray.
Please don’t pair me with Gray!
But what did she have in common with the other two? They were brothers, and surely Mack was going to pair brothers. Which meant... Her heart sank and she began to feel very sick.
‘Dean and Rick—brothers from Seattle, which leaves our UK doctors, Beau and Gray. Welcome to America, guys!’
Beau couldn’t look at Gray. If she looked at him, she’d see that he was just as horrified as she was about this.
Was it too late to change her mind and go home? Go back to the hotel in Bozeman and stay there for a week?
No! You’ve never backed away from anything!
Looking around the small room, she saw that everyone was pairing with their buddy, shaking hands and grinning at each other. Reluctantly she let her gaze trickle around the room until she locked eyes with Gray. He looked just as disturbed as she was—uncomfortable and agonised—but he seemed to be hiding it slightly better. She watched as he hitched his backpack onto his back and came across the room to her, looking every inch the condemned man.
Staring at him, she waited for him to speak, but instead he held out his hand. ‘Let’s just agree to disagree for the next week. It should make this easier.’
Easier, huh? He had no idea.
She ignored his outstretched hand. ‘Like I said, let’s just agree not to talk to each other at all. Not unless we have to.’ Her voice sounded shaky, even to her own ears.
‘That might make things difficult.’
‘You have no idea what difficult means.’ She hoisted her own backpack onto her shoulders and tightened the straps, turning away from the muscle tightening in Gray’s jaw.
‘I think I do, my lass.’
Her head whipped round and she glared at him. ‘Don’t call me that. I am not your lass. You know nothing about me now.’
‘You want me to talk to you like you’re a stranger?’
‘I don’t want you to talk to me at all.’
‘I’m not going to be silent for a week. I’m not a monk.’
‘Shame.’
‘Beau—’
She glared at him. Don’t say another word! ‘Let’s get going...buddy.’
He took a step back, sweeping his hand out before him. ‘Ladies first.’
Beau hoped her stare would turn him into stone. Then she followed Mack and the others out of the ranger station.
CHAPTER TWO (#ulink_df48010d-4d4c-5728-aa20-13ac7a508392)
BEAU MARCHED ALONG at the front of the pack, as far away from Gray as possible. She knew he would be lurking at the back. She walked beside Barb, her nostrils flaring and her nails biting into her palms.
She was beginning to get a headache. Typical! And it was all his fault. And she had no painkillers in her first aid kit. No one did. She had to hope that it would pass soon. The whole point of this course was to make her think differently. To use what was around her to survive.
Beau thought that she already knew quite a bit about survival. About not giving up when everything was against her. About not allowing herself to succumb to the void.
Since the day Gray had left her standing at the altar, she’d become a different person. Stronger than before. Driven. Her eyes had been opened to the way men could hurt her.
And to think that I solemnly believed that he wouldn’t do that to me.
She’d allowed herself to feel safe with Gray. Secure in the knowledge—or she’d thought so at the time—that he loved her as much as she loved him.
Beau ground her teeth. Perhaps she’d been naïve. Perhaps she’d been cocky. She’d told everyone back then how Gray was her soulmate, her one true love. That he was the most perfect man and she was so lucky because he wanted her. There had been one time she remembered sitting in the kitchen with her mum, waxing lyrical about how wonderful he was, how happy she was and how she couldn’t believe she’d found a man who wanted all the same things she did.
Her mum had listened and smiled and rubbed her arm and told her daughter how happy she was for her. How this was what life was all about. Finding love, settling down, creating a family of your own. That it was all anyone needed.
Beau had almost not been able to believe how lucky she was herself. But she’d believed in him. Almost devoutly. Her faith in their love had been undeniable, and when Gray had asked her to marry him, she’d been the happiest girl in the world.
She’d thought no one could be happier than her. She’d thought she was going to marry the man she was head over heels in love with and that they would have children and a brilliant life together, just as her parents had done. They’d be strong together, united, and when the time came for them to be grandparents, their love would continue to grow. It had all been mapped out in her mind’s eye.
But then he’d destroyed everything she’d believed in and she hadn’t even got an apology! Not that it would mean much now. Too much time had passed. The time for an apology had been eleven years ago. Not now.
But there was nowhere for her to escape him here. They were stuck together. Buddied up, for crying out loud! She must have tutted, because Barb turned to look at her as they slowly marched up a steep, rocky incline.
‘Mack mentioned you’re a doctor?’
Brought back to reality, she tried to push her anger to one side so that she could speak politely to Barb. ‘Yes, I am.’
‘Do you have a specialty?’
She nodded and smiled. ‘Neurology.’
‘Ooh! That sounds complicated. They say there’s so much about the brain that we don’t know.’
‘Actually, we know a good deal. Technology has advanced so far nowadays.’
‘You know, I think I saw a documentary once where there was a brain operation and they did it with the patient wide awake! I couldn’t believe it! This poor man was having to identify pictures on flash cards whilst the surgeons were sticking God only knows what into his brain!’
Beau smiled. ‘It’s called intraoperative brain mapping.’
Barb shuddered. ‘Have you seen it done?’
‘I’ve done it. I’m a surgeon.’
‘Ooh! Con—you hear that? Beau here’s a brain surgeon!’ Barb grabbed her husband’s arm to get his attention and Conrad nodded at Beau.
‘Well, let’s hope we don’t need your services during this next week, Doctor.’
She laughed, a lot of her anger gone. The married couple seemed nice. They were both middle-aged, though Conrad’s hair was already silvery, whereas his wife’s perfectly coiffed hair was dark. They reminded her slightly of her own parents. Happily married, easy in each other’s company and still very much in love.
Despite everything, it made her smile. ‘How long have you two been together?’
Barb glanced at her husband. ‘Thirty-five years this August.’
‘Wow! Congratulations.’
‘Thank you, dear. I have to say it’s been wonderful. We’ve never had a cross word and we’ve never spent more than a night apart.’
‘How do you do it? Stay so happy, I mean?’
‘We pursue our own hobbies, but we also make sure we follow an interest together. Which is why we’re doing this. We both love walking and seeing the country. Though last year Con had a few heart issues, so we thought we’d come on this course. Combine an interest with a necessity. Sometimes you can be out in the middle of nowhere and it can take hours before you get medical attention. We both thought it a good idea to get some medical basics under our belts.’
Beau nodded. It was a good idea. For a long time she had thought that basic first aid, and especially CPR, ought to be taught in schools. So many more people would survive accidents or sudden turns of events in their own health if everyone was taught the basics.
‘Good for you.’
‘What made you come on this course? This kind of stuff must be old hat to you.’
Beau looked across the plateau they’d reached, at the glorious sweeping plains, a patchwork of green, grey and purple hues, and the mountains in the distance. The open expanse. ‘I got cabin fever. Needed to get back to nature for a while.’
‘And the other doctor? The Scottish one? It looked like you two know each other.’
There was so much she could have said.
Why, yes, I do know that lying, conniving, horrible Scot...
‘Briefly. A long time ago. We haven’t seen each other for a while.’
Barb peered at her, her eyebrows raised. ‘Parted on bad terms, did you?’
She smiled politely. ‘You could say that.’
‘Aw...’ The older woman patted her arm. ‘Life’s too short for holding on to anger, honey. When you get to our age, you learn that. Our son Caleb, bless his heart, always jokes that Con and I are “on the coffin side of fifty”!’ She laughed out loud. ‘And he’s right—we are. People waste too much time being angry or holding on to resentments and it keeps them stuck in one place. They can’t move forward, they can’t move on, and they lose so much time in life, focusing on being stuck in the sad when they could be focusing on being happy.’
Beau appreciated what Barb was trying to say, but it didn’t help. There was still so much anger inside her focused on Gray. Suddenly she realised that until she heard some sort of explanation from him, she didn’t think there was any way for her to move forward. She knew an apology wouldn’t help—not really. But maybe she’d like to hear it, see him wriggle about on the end of his hook like the worm that he was.
Gray McGregor owed her something, and until she heard it, she wasn’t sure what it was. But she wouldn’t let it bother her. She told herself she didn’t care. Even if she was still trapped in the past when it came to Gray. She might have grown up, found herself a stellar career and proved to her peers that she was one of the top neurologists in the country, but in her heart she was still a little girl lost. Hurt and abandoned.
Her heart broken in two.
And there was only a certain Scottish cardiologist who might be able to fix it.
* * *
Gray replayed in his mind his recent words with Beau. He kept his gaze upon her, walking far ahead of him, wondering how she was feeling.
Those dark auburn waves of hers bounced around her shoulders and gleamed russet in the sunshine. He could see her chatting amiably with Con and Barb and wished she could be as easygoing with him. It would make the next week a lot easier for both of them if they could put the past in the past and just concentrate on enjoying the hike and the medical scenarios.
But the sweet, agreeable Beau he’d once known seemed long gone, and in her place was a new version. And this one was flinty, cold and dismissive.
He wasn’t sure how to handle her like that, and he’d already been feeling enough guilt about what he’d done without her laying it on thick to make him feel worse.
I know I owe you an explanation.
So many times he’d thought about what he needed to say to her. How he intended to explain, to apologise. Always, in his own mind, the conversation went quite well. Beau would listen quietly and attentively. Most importantly, she would understand that the decision not to turn up at their wedding had hurt him just as much as it had hurt her.
But now he could see just how much he’d been wrong. Beau would not sit quietly and just listen. She would not be understanding and patient.
Had he changed her? By walking away from her, had he changed her personality?
So now he chose to give her space. Letting her walk with Barb and Conrad, staring at the back of her head so hard he kept expecting her to rub the back of it, as if the discomfort of his stare would become something physical.
And he worried. There was strain on her face, a pallor to her skin that reinforced the brightness of her freckles and the dark circles beneath her eyes.
Surely he wasn’t the cause of that? Surely she’d just been working too hard, or for too long, and wasn’t getting enough sleep? He knew she worked hard. He’d kept track of her career after medical school. She was one of the top neurologists in the country—maybe even in the whole of Europe. That had to take its toll, right?
But what if she’s ill?
A hundred possibilities ran through his mind, but he tossed them all aside, believing that she wouldn’t be so silly as to come out on a trek through the wilderness if she was ill.
It had to be stress. Doing too much and not eating properly.
He hadn’t seen a ring on her finger. As far as he was aware, she wasn’t married, and the hours she worked would leave hardly any time for dating. Unless she was seeing someone at work? There was always that possibility...
He shifted at the uncomfortable thought and tugged at the neckline of his tee shirt, feeling uneasy. Hating the fact that the idea of her being with someone else still made him feel odd.
Yet she was never mine to have. I should never have let it get so far in the first place. I was wrong for her.
‘Here you go...have a pull of this.’ Rick offered him a small flask. ‘It’ll keep you going. Always does the trick for me at the start of a long hike.’
Gray considered the offer, but then shook his head. ‘No, thanks. Best to stick to water. That stuff will dehydrate you.’
‘What do you think I’ve got in here?’ Rick grinned.
‘It’s a whisky flask, so I’m guessing...alcohol?’
‘Nah! It’s just an energy drink my wife makes. It’s got guarana in it. It’s good for you!’
Gray took the flask and sniffed at it. It smelled very sweet. ‘And how much caffeine?’
‘Dunno. But it tastes great!’
He passed it back without sampling it. ‘Do you know that some energy drinks can trigger cardiac arrest even in someone healthy?’
Rick stopped drinking and held the flask in front of him uncertainly. ‘Really?’
‘If you consume too many. The high levels of caffeine mixed with other substances can act like a drug, stimulating the central nervous system to high levels when consumed in high doses.’
‘You’re serious? I thought all that pineapple and grapefruit juice was good for me.’
‘It can be. Just don’t add all the other stuff. Do you know for sure what’s in there?’
Rick shook the flask, listening to the swish of the liquid inside. ‘No. But she spends ages in the kitchen making it for me and it always seems to help.’
Gray grinned. ‘I’d stick to water, if I were you.’
‘How do you know all this?’
‘I’m a cardiologist. I’ve operated on a fair few people who’ve ended up in the ER because of too many energy drinks.’
Rick began to pale. ‘Wow. You think something’s good for you...’
‘Sorry to be a party pooper.’
‘Nah, you’re all right.’ Rick tipped the flask upside down and emptied the juice out onto the ground. ‘Doesn’t make sense to carry the extra weight, does it?’
Gray looked up at Beau and considered all the extra emotional weight he was carrying. ‘It doesn’t. It doesn’t help you at all.’
* * *
They’d been walking for a steady hour, and by Beau’s reckoning—not that she knew much about these things—they’d walked about three miles into the park, all of it uphill. Her calf muscles burned and she was beginning to feel sore spots within her new hiking boots. She hoped she wasn’t getting blisters.
The hillside had produced a plateau, a wide expanse of grasslands, and eventually they’d passed through a grove of lodgepole pine trees—tall and slender, the bark looking almost white from a distance, but grey up close.
Mack stopped them as they got near. ‘You’ll see a lot of these throughout the park. They’re a fire-dependent species, and the seeds you can see, once fallen, provide a natural foraging source for grizzlies as we pass into fall. So you see this tree, then you look for the bear that goes with it. Luckily there isn’t one here today.’
He smiled as everyone looked at each other and laughed nervously.
‘But this is one example of always needing to be prepared. If you’re walking in a new area, know the ecology, the flora and fauna—it can help you stay safe. Today there’s no reason not to know. The Internet can tell you in an instant. There are books. Read. Research. It could save your life. Medically, indigenous tribes have used the lodgepole pine for many ailments—they steam the pine needles and bark to help with lung issues, and they also use it for bronchitis, fever and even stomach ache treatments. You can make a pitch from the pines and use it as a plaster for infections, burns and sores.’
Beau looked up at the canopy of the tall tree and was amazed. Working in a hospital, with the technology and advancement that came in the present day, it was easy to forget that all medicine originated from the use of plants, trees, shrubs and flowers. But it was important and not to be forgotten. She got out her compact camera from her pack and took a picture.
Mack walked them on and the plateau soon began to dip down towards a narrow rocky stream. The sound of running water was refreshing in the day’s heat and Mack encouraged them all to take in some liquid refreshment and eat a small snack.
Beau perched on a large stone and nibbled on a flapjack she’d brought, avoiding Gray’s glance and hoping he would stay away from her for a while longer.
Irritatingly, he sat down opposite her.
‘How are you enjoying this so far?’ he asked in his lilting Scottish burr.
‘It’s wonderful. Especially when I don’t have to look at you.’
He glanced down at the ground. ‘There’s no need to attack me all the time, Beau. I feel bad enough as it is.’
‘Good.’
He let out a heavy sigh, looking out across the stream bordered by rocks and grassy banks. ‘I suppose you want me to go away?’
She didn’t look at him. ‘Or just be quiet. Either would do.’
He pulled some trail mix from his pack and offered it to her. ‘Nuts?’
She glanced at him to see if he was making fun of her or being insulting. ‘No. Thank you.’
‘You know you’re stuck with me, hen?’
She put away her flapjack, annoyance written all over her face, and refastened the buckles on her backpack. ‘I’m not a hen.’
‘Sorry, lass.’
She stood up and heaved the pack onto her back. ‘Wow. An apology. You do know how to make them, then?’
Gray looked up at her, squinting in the sun. ‘Aye.’
‘And...?’
‘And what?’
‘Where’s my real apology? The one you should have made eleven years ago?’
He cocked his head to one side and pulled his sunglasses down over his eyes. ‘I’m saving it.’
‘Saving it? For what?’
He looked about them before getting to his feet and leaning in towards her, so that his face was up close to hers. It was unnerving, having him this close. Those moss-green eyes staring deeply into her soul and searching. His breath upon her cheek.
‘For when you’re actually ready to listen. There’s no point in me trying to explain whilst you’re like this.’
‘I’m not sure it’s important, anyhow. Too little and too late.’
‘And that proves my point.’
He walked away to sit down somewhere else.
Beau began to breathe again. Their brief conversation had unsettled her. Again. Plainly the way she was reacting to him was not working. Open hostility towards Gray was like water bouncing off an umbrella. It made no difference to him at all. He quite clearly was not going to apologise to her unless she got herself together.
Irritating man!
Most irritating because she was stuck with him for a week!
She had to be realistic. They were here. Together. And, worst of all, they were buddied up together. She knew from the itinerary for the trip that there would be paired activities where they would have to work with each other away from the main group. Orienteer themselves to another part of the park. Which meant time alone.
They had to start working together. Whether she liked it or not.
She turned to look for him and saw him standing with Mack, chatting. Beau headed over and plastered a charming smile onto her face. ‘Excuse me, Mack, could I have a quick word with my buddy here?’
‘Absolutely. Glad you’re here, Gray.’ He slapped Gray on the arm before walking away.
Gray looked at her curiously. ‘Yes?’
‘You’re right. We need to be working together for this next week and, as buddies, we need to be strengthening our working relationship. I’m not prepared to fail this course, and with that in mind I’m willing to put our past to one side in the spirit of cooperation and...peace. What do you say?’
She saw him consider her outstretched hand. Saw the question in his solitary raised eyebrow, saw the amiable smile upon his face before he reached out and took her hand.
A charge shot up her arm as her hand tingled in his. The strange yet all too familiar feel of his hand on hers was electrifying and thrilling. Her instinct was to let go. To gasp for oxygen. To rub her palm against her khaki trousers to make it feel normal again. But she did none of these things because her gaze had locked with his and she’d stopped breathing anyway.
Who needs oxygen?
Gray’s leaf-green eyes bored into hers with both an intensity and a challenge, and Beau felt as if she’d been pulled back through time to when they’d first met on a hospital rotation.
They’d been so young, it seemed. All the students had been fresh-faced and eager to learn, eager to start their journeys. The girls smartly dressed, professional. The boys in shirts and ties as yet unwrinkled and sweat-free.
She’d noticed him instantly. The gleam in his eyes had spoken of an ambition she’d clearly been able to see. And had held a twinkle that had spoken of something else: his desire to stand out, to be noticed, to be cheeky with their lecturers. The way he’d pushed deadlines for work, the way he’d risked failing his assessments—that side of him that had been an adrenaline junkie, carefree and daredevilish.
His mischievous, confident grin had pulled her in like a fish to a lure and she’d been hooked. His attitude had been so different from anyone she already knew—so different from that of any of the men in her own family. He’d been that breath of fresh air, that beam of light in the dark, that sparkling, tempting palace in a land of dark and shadow.
He’d shaken her hand then and introduced himself, and instantly she’d heard his soft, lilting Scottish burr and been charmed by it. The very way he’d said her name had been as if he was caressing her. He’d made her feel special.
She’d not wanted to be dazzled by a charming man. Not at the start of her career. But family, love and marriage were high on her agenda and she’d desired what her parents had. A good, steady partner, with a love so deep it was immeasurable. Beau had had no doubt that she would find it one day.
She just hadn’t expected to find it so soon.
Gray had stuck to her side and they’d worked together, played together, studied together and then, after one particularly wild party, slept together. It had seemed such a natural step for them to take. He’d filled her heart with joy. He’d made her feel as if she was ten feet tall. Every moment with him had been as precious as a lifetime. She’d wanted to be with him. She’d wanted to give him everything—because that was what love was. The gift of oneself.
And he hadn’t disappointed her.
Afterwards, as she’d lain in his arms, she’d dreamed about their future. Wondering about whether they would get married, where they might live—not too far from her parents, not too far from his, so their children would have a close relationship with each set of grandparents—and what it would be like to wake up next to him every day for the rest of their lives together.
She’d liked the way he acted differently with her—calmer, more satisfied, considerate. Relaxed. He’d been a hyperactive buzzing student when they’d met, full of beans and so much energy. He’d exhausted her just watching him. But when he was with her, he wasn’t like that. As if he didn’t need to be. And she had found the side of him that she could fall in love with...
Gray smiled now. ‘I hear you. Cooperation and peace. Seems like a good start to me.’
Beau chose not to disagree with him. It was already looking as if it was going to be one very long week ahead, and this adventure was going to be uncomfortable enough as it was.
I’m letting go of the stress.
So she smiled back and nodded.
Mack suggested that they all get going again, if they were to get to the first scenario and have enough extra time to pitch their tents for the evening.
They walked through scrub brush, conifers and thick deep grass. The overhead sun powered down upon them and Beau stopped often to drink and stay hydrated. At one of her stops Gray came alongside and waited with her.
‘How are your parents?’
Beau fastened the lid on her water bottle. It was getting low. Hopefully there’d be a place to refill soon. ‘Not that they’re any of your business any more, but they’re good, thanks.’ She answered in a clipped manner. ‘Yours?’
No need for her to go into detail. What could she say? That they hadn’t changed in over a decade? That they still went to church every Sunday? That they still asked after him?
‘They’re fine.’
‘Great.’ These personal topics were awkward. Perhaps it would be best if they steered away from them? Gray’s parents had always been an awkward subject anyway. She could recall meeting them only a couple of times, and one of those occasions had been at the wedding! They’d been a bit hard to talk to. Gruff. Abrupt. Not that keen on smiling. She’d babbled on their behalf! Chattering away like a radio DJ, musing on life, asking and answering her own questions. She’d been relieved to leave them and go and talk to others, and had just hoped that they’d liked her.
They’d turned up to the wedding anyway. Mr McGregor in his wheelchair, his face all red and broken-veined.
They trekked a bit further. Beau snapped pictures of columbines and hellebores and a herd of moose they saw in the distance. Then Mack brought them into a large clearing that had a stone circle in the centre.
‘Base Camp Number One, people! I’ll teach you later how to safely contain your campfire, but first we’re going to get working on our first medical scenario—soft tissue injuries. As I said before, these are some of the most common injuries we get here in the park, and they can be minor or major. A soft tissue injury is damage to the ligaments, muscles or tendons throughout the body, so we’re looking at sprains, strains and contusions. This sort of damage to the body can result in pain, bruising or localised swelling—even, if severe, loss of function or blood volume.’ He looked at each of them with determination. ‘You do not want to lose either. So what can we do out here with our limited kit? Gray? Care to enlighten us?’
‘Normally you’d follow the PRICE protocol—protection, rest, ice, compression and elevation.’
‘Perfect—did you all hear that?’
The group all murmured agreement.
‘Now, unless you’re in the North or South Pole, you aren’t going to have any ice, so you might have to skip that step, but can anyone think of an alternative?’
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Louisa Heaton
One week to win her back!
For neurologist Beau Judd, a medical survival course in Yellowstone Park is her chance to experience something completely different. But her trip halfway around the world only brings her closer to her past—the man who left her at the altar!
Twelve years ago Dr. Gray McGregor made the most difficult decision of his life. Now, brought back together with Beau as they head into the wild, he realizes what a mistake it was. Can he win back the woman he loves in just seven days?
This was it! The moment everything about her life would change!
She would enjoy great new experiences. Get back to the basics of medicine and enjoy some survival training.
Plastering a huge smile on her face, Beau opened the door and scanned the room full of faces, ready to say hi.
The smile froze on her face as she realised who was in the room with her.
A man whom she’d hoped never to see again.
The smile left her face and unconsciously she let her hand grip the door frame to keep her balance, wrong-footed suddenly by the shock of seeing him. Her centre of gravity was distorted by the backpack, but also by this imposter—the image of the man who’d broken her heart—standing in front of her.
Of all the parks in all the world, he has to be in mine.
Dear Reader (#ulink_aa15fc98-8ed4-547d-9115-cafcd9369396),
The only times I have bumped into my ex-boyfriends—only two, I promise!—I have managed to ignore them completely. Rather successfully, too, whilst pretending I was having a fabulous time, laughing and chatting with my friends. I have never been in a situation where we were forced to spend time together, and if I had I don’t think it would have gone very well!
Beau and Gray have to spend a week together, and I wanted to explore what would happen when two people who have completely different versions of past events meet and have to get along. Have to rely on one another for their very survival. Would the past get in their way? Would they be able to overcome their difficulties, their prejudices and their hurt and allow the other person back inside their heart?
It was fun to explore this possibility—and to place the story in one of my favourite destinations in the whole world. The glorious Yellowstone National Park. I do hope you enjoy their adventure!
Happy reading!
Louisa xxx
Seven Nights with Her Ex
Louisa Heaton
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
LOUISA HEATON lives on Hayling Island, Hampshire, with her husband, four children and a small zoo. She has worked in various roles in the health industry—most recently four years as a Community First Responder, answering 999 calls. When not writing, Louisa enjoys other creative pursuits, including reading, quilting and patchwork—usually instead of the things she ought to be doing!
To my husband, Nick, who offered to take me to Yellowstone Park as a research trip.
(But we never did get there...sigh...)
Praise for Louisa Heaton
‘I adored this book. The characters were refreshing and the story line was emotional and tugged at my heart.’
—Goodreads on A Father This Christmas?
‘The Baby That Changed Her Life moved me to tears many times. It is a full-on emotional drama. Louisa Heaton brought this tale shimmering with emotions.’
—Goodreads
‘You know that feeling you get after you read an incredibly awesome book...the feeling where you don’t know what to read next because the book you just read was so awesome...? That’s exactly how I feel.’
—Goodreads on The Baby That Changed Her Life
Contents
Cover (#u903150cd-2337-5c9a-8e0b-3bbbf8b8a693)
Back Cover Text (#u14042d18-bbfd-5112-b4ce-235e49f41c0b)
Introduction (#u65a50ca4-9b09-5014-bbbf-caac46404905)
Dear Reader (#ulink_ed1391fa-cafc-551b-8372-ff5b3f90425f)
Title Page (#u9bef6060-a86e-5a78-bf66-9f76ae740c44)
About the Author (#ue6f07989-4cf5-58e1-a5c3-5267297130de)
Dedication (#uf293aa09-1dd5-5095-b7f9-5cc3f052692b)
Praise (#ud414e959-9a8e-548b-9fea-b9f915a4bd6c)
CHAPTER ONE (#ulink_751a8a6d-c6e2-5065-bcc4-222578baf863)
CHAPTER TWO (#ulink_accdd170-b682-5d45-81e4-cf9e9ed3a60c)
CHAPTER THREE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FOUR (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)
EPILOGUE (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ONE (#ulink_660a9daf-f3a0-5959-ba0a-ba05e079a350)
WOW! THIS PLACE is amazing!
Dr Beau Judd drove her hire car into a vacant space outside the Gallatin Ranger Station in Yellowstone National Park. Silencing the engine, she looked out of her window and let out a satisfied sigh.
This was it. This was what she’d been looking for. A return to nature. The vast open expanses of the American wilderness. Huge sweeping plains of golden-yellow wild flowers, ancient stone outcrops, forests of pines and fir trees, beautiful blue skies and the kind of summer weather that people back in the UK could only dream of.
She grabbed her guidebook and flipped through the pages, determined to take every moment that she could to learn about where she was. Those golden flowers—bursting skywards like mini-sunflowers—what were they called? Beau flicked through to the flora and fauna section of her book and smiled.
Balsamroots. Perfect.
Her gaze fell to the text beneath the picture and her smile widened.
Native Americans would often use the sap of this plant as a topical antiseptic.
Now, wasn’t this what she was here for? To learn? And that plant was a perfect start to her new learning experience on the Extreme Wilderness Medical Survival Course. She’d spent too long cooped up in hospitals, on wards, in Theatre. Standing for hours, operating in the depths of a patient’s brain, gazing for too long at X-rays or imaging scans, stuck in small rooms passing along bad news, living in a sterile environment, never seeing the sky or enjoying the fresh air.
Her life had become the hospital. She’d even begun to forget what her flat looked like. There’d been too many nights spent sleeping in the on-call room, too much time spent with patients and their families, so that she hardly saw her own. Hardly had any friends apart from her work colleagues. Hardly saw anyone she cared about at all.
This next week would all be about Beau reclaiming herself. Getting back to grassroots medicine. Getting back to hiking—which she’d used to love, but she hadn’t worn a set of boots for years. Not unless they had a heel anyway.
She was one of the top neurologists in England. Had spent years building up her reputation, skill set and repertoire.
Now was the time to take some time out. For herself. Regroup. Do what she loved. Learn and hike in some of the most beautiful country on the planet.
Beau got out of the car and sucked in a lungful of fresh mountain air. Then she popped the boot so she could get her backpack out. She’d bought all new kit—tent, clothes, equipment, walking poles. All colour-coordinated in a gorgeous shade of red. Matches the hair, she thought with a smile as she tied a bandana around her head to keep her long auburn hair off her face.
The first day’s hike started today. She wanted to be ready. She didn’t want anyone having to slow down because of her. Here she would make friends—hopefully for life—and with this experience under her belt perhaps she could start thinking about doing that season at Base Camp, Everest. Her ultimate goal.
She slung the backpack over her shoulders, adjusting the straps, then closed the boot, locked it. Lifting her sunglasses, she strode over to the ranger station, ready to check in and meet the other hikers. Hopefully she wasn’t the last to arrive. She’d left Bozeman a whole hour earlier than she’d needed to, but still... She’d find out when she got inside.
It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the interior of the log cabin, and then she noticed the receptionist standing behind the counter.
‘Hi, there! I’m Dr Judd. I’m here for the Extreme Wilderness Medical Survival Course.’
‘Welcome to Yellowstone! And welcome to Gallatin. Let me see here...’ She ran a finger down a checklist. ‘Sure. Here you are.’ She ticked Beau’s name with her pen. ‘The others are waiting in the back. Go on through and help yourself to refreshments. They’ll be the last you’ll see for a while!’
Beau smiled her thanks and headed over to the door, from where she could already hear a rumble of voices in the next room.
This was it. The moment everything about her life would change! She would enjoy great new experiences. Get back to the basics of medicine and enjoy some survival training.
Plastering a huge smile on her face, she opened the door and scanned the room of faces, ready to say hi.
The smile froze on her face as she realised who was in the room with her.
A man whom she’d hoped never to see again.
Gray McGregor.
How was he even here? In this small ranger station? In Yellowstone Park? In America? What the heck was he doing? Why wasn’t he back in Scotland? In Edinburgh, where he was meant to be?
This had to be some sort of double. A doppelgänger.
We all have one, right?
The smile left her face and unconsciously she let her hand grip the door frame to keep her balance, wrong-footed suddenly by the shock of seeing him. Her centre of gravity was distorted by the backpack, but also by this imposter—the image of the man who’d broken her heart—standing in front of her.
Of all the parks in all the world, he has to be in mine.
The real Gray she’d not seen for... She thought quickly, her mind stumbling as much as she was, over numbers and years that suddenly wouldn’t compute. Her brain had flipped in a short circuit. Frozen. The ability to add up basic numbers was beyond her at this terrible moment in time.
And the clone just stood there, the smile that had been on his face before he’d become aware of her presence disappearing in the same way that clouds covered the sun. His eyes widened at the sight of her, the muscle in his jaw clenching and unclenching.
It is you.
The noise in the room quietened as the other backpackers sensed a change in the atmosphere, but then rose again slightly as they all pretended not to see.
It was all flooding back! All of it. The day she’d dressed in white for him. The hours spent getting her hair done at home, giggling and laughing excitedly with her hairdresser. Then the hour spent with the beautician, getting her make-up looking perfect. Putting on that dress, attaching the veil, taking hold of her bouquet and glimpsing herself in the mirror before the photographer had been allowed in to take pictures.
The joy and excitement of the day had been thrumming through her veins as with every picture taken, every smile she gave, every pose she stood for, she had imagined walking down that aisle to be with him. Anticipating the look on his face, the way he would smile back at her, the way they would stand side by side in front of the vicar...
Only, you weren’t there, were you, Gray?
The heartache this man had caused...
He looked a little different from the way she was used to seeing him. Back then he’d been fresh-faced, his dark hair longer and more tousled. Today his hair was cut shorter than she remembered, more modern, and he had a trim beard that was as auburn in colour as her own hair. And he was staring at her with as much shock in his own eyes as she was feeling.
But I’m not going to let you see how much you hurt me!
Deliberately she tore her gaze from him, tried to ignore her need to hurry to the bathroom and slick on a few more layers of antiperspirant, and walked over to one of the other hikers—a woman in a dark green polo shirt.
‘Hi, I’m Beau. Pleased to meet you.’
She turned her back on him, sure that she could feel his gaze upon her. Her body tensed, each muscle flooded with more adrenaline than it needed as she imagined his gaze trailing up and down her body.
Resisting the urge to turn around and start yelling at him, she instead tried to focus on what the other hiker was saying.
‘...it’s so good to meet you! I’m glad there’s another woman in the group. There’s three of us now.’
Beau smiled pleasantly. She hadn’t caught the woman’s name. She’d been too busy trying not to grind her teeth, or clench her fists, whilst her brain had screamed at her all the horrible things she could say to Gray. All the insults, all the toxic bile she had once dreamed of throwing at him...
All the pain and heartache he’d caused...she’d neatly packaged it away. Determined to get on with her life, to forget he’d ever existed.
What was he even doing here? Surely he wasn’t going to be on this course, too?
Of course he is. Why else would he be in this room?
Months this trip had taken her to plan and organise. Once she’d realised that she needed a change, needed to escape that cabin fever feeling, she’d pored over brochures, surfed the Net, checking and rechecking that this was the perfect place, the perfect course, the perfect antidote to what her life had become.
It was far enough away from home—from Oxford, where she lived and worked—for her to know that she wouldn’t run into anyone she knew. Who did she know anyway? Apart from her family and patients? And her colleagues? How many of them had planned a trip to Yellowstone at the same time as her? None. The chances of him doing the same thing, for the same week as her... Well, it had never even crossed her mind.
Why would it? She’d spent years forcing herself to not think of Gray McGregor. The damned Scot with the irrepressible cheeky grin and alluring come-to-bed eyes!
Eleven years. Nearly twelve. That’s how long it’s been.
Eleven years of silence. Why had he never contacted her? Apologised? Explained?
Like I’d want to hear it now anyway!
Outwardly she was still smiling, still pretending to listen to the other hiker, but inwardly... Inwardly a small part of her did want to hear what he had to say. No matter how pathetic it might be. Part of her wanted him grovelling and on his knees, begging for her forgiveness.
I’ll never forgive you, Gray.
Beau straightened her shoulders, inhaled a big, deep breath and focused on the other hiker—Claire. She was talking about some of the trails she’d walked—the Allegheny, the Maah Daah Hey.
Focus on her, not him.
‘That’s amazing. You walked those trails alone?’
‘Usually! I think you can take in so much more when you’ve just got to entertain yourself.’
Was he still looking at her? Was he thinking of coming over to speak to her? Beau stiffened at the thought of him approaching.
‘What made you come on this course?’ she asked.
‘Common sense. A lot of walkers I meet on trails are...shall we say, older than me? And when I was walking the Appalachian, this guy collapsed right in front of me. In an instant. I didn’t know what to do! Luckily one of his group was an off-duty responder and he kept the guy alive until the rescue team arrived. You never know when you’re gonna be stuck in the middle of nowhere with no medical assistance!’
Beau nodded.
‘What about you, Beau? What made you come on this course?’
‘I just wanted to get out and about, walking again. Somewhere beautiful. But somewhere I can still learn something. I want to work in the hospital tent on Everest at some point.’
‘Oh, my Lord! You’re braver than me! Are you a nurse, then?’
‘A doctor. Of neurology.’
‘My, my, my! You’ll no doubt put us all to shame! Promise you won’t laugh at my attempts to bandage someone?’
Beau didn’t think she’d be laughing at anyone. The mood of her trip had already changed. Just a few moments ago she’d been carefree and breathing in the mountain air, assuring herself that she’d made the right decision to come here. But now...? With Gray here, too?
She would make him see that she was not amused by his presence. She wasn’t anything! She had no energy to waste on that man. He’d been given more than enough of her time over the years and her life had moved on now. She was no longer the heartbroken Beau whom he had left standing at the altar. She was Dr Judd. Neurologist. Recommended by her peers. Published in all the exclusive medical journals. Award-winning, innovative and a leader in her field.
She would have nothing to do with him this next week, and if he didn’t like her cold shoulder, then tough.
Beau slipped off her backpack, put it to one side and went to make herself a cup of tea at the drinks station. It would probably be the last decent cup of tea she’d experience for a while, and she didn’t want to miss having it. They had time before they set out.
She kept her back to the rest of the room, studiously ignoring Gray.
He would have to get used to it.
* * *
Yellowstone National Park. Over three thousand miles away from his native Edinburgh. He’d travelled over the North Atlantic Ocean, traversed mile upon mile of American soil to make it here to Wyoming, this one small spot on the face of the whole planet, and yet... And yet somehow he had managed to find the one small log cabin in the huge vastness of a national park that contained the one woman he could not imagine facing ever again.
Why would he ever have expected to find her here? This wasn’t her thing. Being outdoors. Hiking. Roughing it in tents and having to purify her water before drinking it. Beau was an indoors girl. A five-star hotel kind of girl. Life for her had never been about struggle and survival. This should have been a safe place to come to. The last place he would have expected her to be. Wasn’t she a hotshot neurologist now? Wasn’t she meant to be knee-deep in brains somewhere?
Seeing her walk into the room had almost stopped his heart. He’d physically felt the jolt, unable to take in oxygen. His lungs had actually begun to burn before he’d looked away, breaking eye contact, his mind going crazy with questions and insinuations as heat and guilt had seared his cheeks.
You broke her heart.
You never told her why.
You deserve to suffer for what you did.
And he had suffered. Hadn’t he?
If only she knew how much he longed to go back and change what happened. If only she knew how much he’d hated himself for walking away, knowing what it would do to her but unable to explain why. If only she knew of how many nights he’d lain awake, thinking of how he could put right that wrong...
But how to explain? It was easy to imagine saying it, but actually having her here, right in front of him... All those things he wanted to say just stuck in his throat. She’d think they were excuses. Not good enough. Was she even in the right frame of mind to want to talk to him?
Beau had turned her back. Begun talking to another hiker. Claire, he thought she’d said her name was.
He took a hesitant step forward, then stopped, his throat feeling tight and painful. He wouldn’t be able to speak right now if he tried. She clearly wanted nothing to do with him. She was ignoring him. Spurning him.
I deserve it.
Other people in the room were milling about. Mixing, being friendly. Introducing themselves to each other. Gray allowed himself to fall into the crowd. Tried to join in. But his gaze kept tracking back to her.
She still looked amazing. Her beautiful red hair was a little longer than he recalled, wavier, too. She’d lost some weight. There were angles now where once there’d been curves, and the lines around her eyes spoke of strain and stress rather than laughter.
Was she happy in life? He hoped that she was. He knew she was successful. Her name had been mentioned in a few case meetings at work. He’d even suggested her once for a family member of an old patient. His own work in cardiology didn’t often give him reason to work with neurology, but he’d kept his ears open in regard to her. Keen to know that she was doing okay.
And she was. Though she had to have worked hard to have got where she had. So had he.
He watched from a distance as she mingled with the others, placing himself in direct opposition to her as she moved. The room was a mass of backpacks, hiking boots, men slapping each other on the back or heartily shaking each other’s hands as they listed their posts and achievements to each other. Two women at the back of the room sat next to each other, their backpacks on the floor as they sipped at steaming cardboard cups. The last taste of civilisation before they hit the wilds of America.
But all Gray could concentrate on now was Beau. And his own overwhelming feelings of regret.
Would simple words of apology be enough?
Would telling her about the many times he’d picked up the phone and dialled her number even be adequate? Considering that he’d never followed through? He had always cancelled the call before she’d had a chance to answer. And all the emails he had sitting in his ‘Drafts’ folder, addressed to her, in which he’d struggled and failed each time to find the right words... The times he’d booked to go to the same medical conference as her, hoping to ‘accidentally’ bump into her, but had then cancelled...
She’d just call me a coward. She’d be right.
He had been afraid. Afraid of stirring up old hurts. Afraid of making things worse. Afraid of hurting her more than he already had...
Time had kept passing. And with each and every day that came and went, it had become more and more difficult to make that contact.
What would have been the point? He could hardly expect forgiveness. Or reconciliation. An apology would mean nothing now. He’d broken things so irrevocably between them. How could he fix them now? He had nothing to offer her. Not then and certainly not now. He was broken himself. And even though he’d known that, years ago, he’d still asked her to marry him! He’d forgotten himself and what he actually was in the madness of a moment when he’d felt so happy. He’d believed anything was possible—got carried away on the possibility of love.
But he didn’t expect her to understand that. They’d come from two separate worlds and she’d known nothing of his family life. Of what it was like. He’d deliberately kept her away from his poisonous family. Kept her at a safe distance because she was so pure, so joyful, so full of life, believing in happy-ever-after.
She still wasn’t married. And that puzzled him. It had been all she’d ever wanted back then. Marriage. And children. It was what she had thought would complete her. After all, she’d said yes to his proposal and then just weeks later had started talking about children.
That was too much. That smacked the reality right back into me.
That was when the full force of not having thought through what he’d done had come to the fore. That was when he’d realised he couldn’t go through with it.
For a man who was an expert in hearts, he’d sure been careless with hers.
And it had almost killed him to know that he was doing it.
* * *
The tea wasn’t great. But she kept sipping it, swapping hands as the heat from the boiling hot water burned through the thin cardboard cup.
She was beginning to get over the shock and was now feeling calmer. She could even picture in her mind’s eye dealing with him quite calmly and nonchalantly if he decided to speak to her. She’d be cool, uninterested, dismissive.
That would hurt him.
Because Gray liked to be the centre of attention, didn’t he? That was why he’d done all that crazy adrenaline-junkie stuff. He’d passed it off as doing something for charity, but even then he’d wanted people to notice him, to say he was amazing or brave. That was why he’d done Ironman competitions, bungee jumps, climbed mountains and jumped out of planes. With a parachute, unfortunately.
He had always succeeded. People had always clapped him on the back and told him he was a great guy and he’d thrived on that. Had lived for that, doing more crazy things despite her always begging him not to. Had he listened? No.
So her ignoring him? Choosing not to notice him? That would have to sting a little.
Gray was an attractive man. Usually the most attractive man in a room. And he wasn’t just a pretty face, but a brilliant cardiologist, too—getting his papers published in the most prestigious medical journals, trying out new award-winning surgeries, being the toast of the town.
He could at least have had the decency to fail at something.
And not once had he called, or apologised, or explained. Even his family hadn’t had a clue—not that they’d spoken much to her. Even before the wedding. Perhaps that had been a clue?
Beau risked a quick glance at him, feeling all the old hurts, all the old pains, all the grief that she’d tried so unsuccessfully to pack away come pouring out as if they’d had the bandages ripped from them, exposing her sore, festering wounds.
She swallowed hard and looked away.
I will not let him see what he’s doing to me!
A rage she had never before experienced boiled over inside her and she suddenly felt nauseous with the force of it. She turned away from him, her hand trembling, and took another sip of her tea. Then another. And another. Until her stomach calmed and her hand grew more steady.
She let out a breath, feeling her brain frazzled with a million thoughts and emotions.
This course was meant to be an enjoyable busman’s holiday for her. Could she do it with him here?
There’s thirteen of us, including the guide. Surely I can just stay out of Gray’s way?
Beau had been looking forward to this adventure for ages. This was the moment her career and her life would take another direction and lead her to places she had never dared to go.
She’d thought about it carefully. Planned it like a military exercise. She’d excelled in her hospital work and was top of her game in neurology. Other neurologists who felt they could do no more to help their patients would suggest her as the patient’s next course of action. She was very often someone’s last chance at life.
And she excelled, knowing that. She lived for it. The staying up late, the research, the practice, the robotic assistance that she sometimes employed, the long, long and challenging surgeries. The eye for detail. The precision of her work.
Awards lined her office walls at home in Oxfordshire. Commendations, merits, honorary degrees. They were all there. But this...
This was what she craved. A week of living by her wits, experiencing medicine in the wild, using basic kit to attend to fractures, altitude sickness, tissue injuries, whilst hiking through some of the most stunning scenery on the planet.
Forget technology—forget the latest medical advancements. There would be no security blanket here. No modern hospital, no equipment apart from a few basics carried in a first aid kit and what she could find around her.
It was perfect.
Even if he was here.
High grey-white mountains, lush expanses of sweeping green and purple, firs and shrubs, thickets of trees hiding streams and geysers. It was a vast emptiness, an untamed wilderness in all its glory, and she would try to beat it. No. Not beat it. Work with it, around it, adapt it to her needs so she could succeed and get another certificate for her wall. Another trophy so that she could think about applying for Base Camp, Everest. So she could work at the hospital there.
That small medical tent, perched on the base of one of the world’s greatest wonders—that was her real aim. Her next anticipated accomplishment.
And there was no way she was going to let all that be ruined by the one man she’d once stupidly fallen in love with and given her heart to. The one man who had broken her into a million pieces. Pieces she still often felt she was still picking up.
She was still trying to prove to the world that she did have value. That she was the best choice. The only choice. His rejection of her had made her a driven woman. Driven to succeed at everything. To prove that he’d made a mistake in his choice of leaving her behind. To prove her worth.
Because I’m worth more than you, Gray. And I’ll prove it to you.
* * *
‘Yellowstone National Park is a vast natural preserve, filled with an ecosystem and diverse wildlife that, if you’re not careful, is designed to kill you.’
Mack, the ranger leading their group, tried to make eye contact with each person standing in the room.
‘There is danger in the beauty of this place, and too many people forget that when they come here and head off-trail. They’re so in awe of the mountains, or the steaming hot geysers, or the dreamlike beauty of a wild wolf pack loping across the plains, that they forget to be careful. To look where they’re going. We are going to be traversing land millions of years old, trying to be at one with nature, but most of all we are here to learn how to look after one another with the minimum of resources. Yes, this could be done in a classroom, but...’ he paused to smile ‘...where would be the fun in that?’
There was some laughter, and Gray noticed Beau smile. It was exactly the way he remembered it, lighting up her blue eyes.
‘Each of you will be issued with a standard first aid kit. When you receive it, you need to check it. Make sure it’s all there. That’s your responsibility. Then we’re going to buddy up. The buddy system works well. It ensures that no one on this adventure goes anywhere in the park alone and that there is always someone watching your back.’
The likelihood of Gray being paired up with Beau was remote. And he certainly wasn’t sure if it was something he wanted. But he caught her glancing in his general direction and wondered if she’d thought the same thing. Probably.
Mack continued. ‘Today we’re going to be hiking twelve miles across some rough terrain to reach the first scenario, where we will be dealing with soft tissue injuries. These are some of the most common injuries we see as rangers, here or at the medical centres, and we need to know what to do when we have nothing to clean a wound or any useful sterile equipment. Now, one final thing before we buddy up... We will not be alone in this park. There are wild animals that we’re all going to have to learn to respect and get along with or stay out of their way. I’m sure you all know we’ve got wolves and grizzlies here. But there are also black bears, moose, bobcats and elk, and the one animal that injures visitors more than bears...the American bison.’
He looked around the room, his face serious.
‘You see one of those bad boys...’ he pointed at a poster on the wall behind him ‘...with his tail lifted, then you know he’s going to charge. Keep your distance from the herds. Stay safe.’
Gray nodded. It wasn’t just bison he’d have to watch out for, but Beau, too. She didn’t have horns to gore him with, but she certainly looked at him as if she wanted him dead.
She was angry with him, and for good reason. He had walked away from their wedding and it had been one of the hardest things he’d ever done. Knowing that she would be left with the fallout from his decision. Knowing that he was walking away from the one woman who’d loved him utterly and completely.
But life had been difficult for him back then, and there was a lot that Beau didn’t know. All she’d seen—all he’d allowed her to see—was the happy-go-lucky, carefree Gray. The cheeky Scot. But the man she’d fallen in love with hadn’t existed. Not really. It had been a front to hide the horrible atmosphere at his home, the problems within his own family: his father’s drinking, his mother’s depression, the constant fights...
Gray’s parents had hated each other. Resented each other. His mother had been trapped by duty with a man she detested. With a man who had suffered a tragic paralysing accident on the actual day she’d decided to pack her bags and leave him.
Being in the same house as them had been torture, watching and listening as they had systematically torn each other apart. Each of them trapped by marriage. An institution that Gray had vowed to himself never to get involved with.
‘Love fades, Gray. Once that honeymoon period is over, then you see your partner’s true colours.’
He could hear his mother’s bitter words even now.
So why had he ruined it all by proposing to Beau? He hadn’t wanted to get married—ever! And yet being with Beau had made him so happy.
The day he’d proposed they’d been laughing, dancing in each other’s arms up close. Her love for him had been beaming from her face, her sapphire eyes sparkling with joy, and he’d wanted... He’d wanted that moment to last for ever. The words had just come out.
Will you marry me?
‘We’ve got one hour before we’re due to depart, so take this time to check your pack, check your first aid kit, use the bathrooms, freshen up—whatever you need to do before we set off. Let’s meet back here at one o’clock precisely, people.’
Mack headed out of the room and a general hubbub began as people began to talk and check their bags and equipment.
Gray had already checked his bag three times. Once before he’d set off from Edinburgh, a second time when he’d arrived in America and a third time when he’d first arrived at the park. He knew everything was as it needed to be. There was nothing missing. Nothing more he needed to do.
Technically, he could relax—and, to be quite frank, he needed a bit of breathing space. He headed outside to the porch of the ranger station and sucked in a lungful of clean air before he settled himself down on a bench and took in the sights.
It was definitely beautiful here. There was a calmness, a tranquillity that you just didn’t find inside a hospital. Hospitals were clean, clinical environments that ran to a clock, to procedure, to rules and regulations. As busy as a beehive, with people coming and going, visitors and patients, operations and clinics.
But here...here there was peace. And quiet. And—
The door swung open with a creak and suddenly she was there. Alone. Before him. Those ice-blue eyes of hers were staring down at him. Cold. Unfeeling.
He got to his feet, his mouth suddenly dry.
‘I think it’s time I made some rules about the next week.’ She crossed her arms, waiting for his response.
‘Beau, I—’
‘First of all,’ she interrupted, holding up her hand for silence, ‘I think we should agree not to speak to each other. I appreciate that circumstance may not always allow that, so if you do speak to me, then I’d prefer it was only about the course. Nothing else. Nothing personal.’
‘But I need to—’
‘Second of all...you are to tell no one here what happened. I will not become the subject of idle gossip. And thirdly...when this is over, you will not contact me, you will not call. You will maintain the silence you’ve been so expert at keeping for the last eleven years. Do you understand?’
He did understand. All too keenly. She wanted nothing to do with him. Which was fair enough. Except that he felt that now she was here, right in front of him, this week might be his chance to explain everything. Forget a pathetic phone call or a scrappy little email. That had never been his style. He had seven days in which to lower her walls, get her to accept his white flag of truce and ask her to listen to him.
But he didn’t want to become the subject of gossip, either. He didn’t want to fight with her. Nor did he want to share so much that she found out about his injury. But time would tell. They had a few days to cool down. They’d get to talk. At some point.
‘I do.’
Her lip curled. ‘You see? That wasn’t too hard to say, was it?’
Then she pointed her finger at him, and he couldn’t help but notice that her hand was trembling.
‘Stay out of my way, okay? I want nothing to do with you. Ever.’
He nodded, accepting her rules for the time being, hoping an opportunity would present itself to allow a little bending of them.
They would have to talk eventually.
* * *
Beau checked her first aid kit against the checklist—gloves, triangular arm bandage, two gauze pads, sticking plaster, tape, antiseptic wipes, small scissors, one small saline wash, a safety pin. Not much for a medical emergency, but she guessed that was part of the challenge. The other part of the challenge for her was going to be a mental one.
Ignore Gray McGregor.
How hard could it be?
She retied her hiking boots, used the ranger station bathroom and then grabbed something to eat, forcing herself to chat pleasantly with some of the other hikers. No one else had a medical background, it seemed, apart from her and Gray. The others were experienced walkers, though, used to long treks and mileage, so she hoped they could all learn something from each other.
At one o’clock precisely Mack came back into the room, followed by another ranger. ‘Right, everyone, gather round. I’m going to issue the buddy list. Now, remember, your buddy is more than just your friend. They’re your safety net, your lookout, your second brain. You don’t go anywhere without your buddy, okay?’
He awaited assent from the group.
‘Now, we’ve tried to divvy everyone up equally and pair people with similar interests, so here goes.’ Mack picked up his list. ‘Okay, let’s see who we have here. Conrad and Barb—you guys are married, so it makes sense to buddy you guys up... Leo and Jack—you guys are both from Texas... Justin and Claire—you guys mentioned you’ve met before, walking the Great Wall of China... Toby and Allan, both ex-Forces personnel...’
Beau shifted in her seat. There were only four of them left to name: her and three guys, one of whom was Gray.
Please don’t pair me with Gray!
But what did she have in common with the other two? They were brothers, and surely Mack was going to pair brothers. Which meant... Her heart sank and she began to feel very sick.
‘Dean and Rick—brothers from Seattle, which leaves our UK doctors, Beau and Gray. Welcome to America, guys!’
Beau couldn’t look at Gray. If she looked at him, she’d see that he was just as horrified as she was about this.
Was it too late to change her mind and go home? Go back to the hotel in Bozeman and stay there for a week?
No! You’ve never backed away from anything!
Looking around the small room, she saw that everyone was pairing with their buddy, shaking hands and grinning at each other. Reluctantly she let her gaze trickle around the room until she locked eyes with Gray. He looked just as disturbed as she was—uncomfortable and agonised—but he seemed to be hiding it slightly better. She watched as he hitched his backpack onto his back and came across the room to her, looking every inch the condemned man.
Staring at him, she waited for him to speak, but instead he held out his hand. ‘Let’s just agree to disagree for the next week. It should make this easier.’
Easier, huh? He had no idea.
She ignored his outstretched hand. ‘Like I said, let’s just agree not to talk to each other at all. Not unless we have to.’ Her voice sounded shaky, even to her own ears.
‘That might make things difficult.’
‘You have no idea what difficult means.’ She hoisted her own backpack onto her shoulders and tightened the straps, turning away from the muscle tightening in Gray’s jaw.
‘I think I do, my lass.’
Her head whipped round and she glared at him. ‘Don’t call me that. I am not your lass. You know nothing about me now.’
‘You want me to talk to you like you’re a stranger?’
‘I don’t want you to talk to me at all.’
‘I’m not going to be silent for a week. I’m not a monk.’
‘Shame.’
‘Beau—’
She glared at him. Don’t say another word! ‘Let’s get going...buddy.’
He took a step back, sweeping his hand out before him. ‘Ladies first.’
Beau hoped her stare would turn him into stone. Then she followed Mack and the others out of the ranger station.
CHAPTER TWO (#ulink_df48010d-4d4c-5728-aa20-13ac7a508392)
BEAU MARCHED ALONG at the front of the pack, as far away from Gray as possible. She knew he would be lurking at the back. She walked beside Barb, her nostrils flaring and her nails biting into her palms.
She was beginning to get a headache. Typical! And it was all his fault. And she had no painkillers in her first aid kit. No one did. She had to hope that it would pass soon. The whole point of this course was to make her think differently. To use what was around her to survive.
Beau thought that she already knew quite a bit about survival. About not giving up when everything was against her. About not allowing herself to succumb to the void.
Since the day Gray had left her standing at the altar, she’d become a different person. Stronger than before. Driven. Her eyes had been opened to the way men could hurt her.
And to think that I solemnly believed that he wouldn’t do that to me.
She’d allowed herself to feel safe with Gray. Secure in the knowledge—or she’d thought so at the time—that he loved her as much as she loved him.
Beau ground her teeth. Perhaps she’d been naïve. Perhaps she’d been cocky. She’d told everyone back then how Gray was her soulmate, her one true love. That he was the most perfect man and she was so lucky because he wanted her. There had been one time she remembered sitting in the kitchen with her mum, waxing lyrical about how wonderful he was, how happy she was and how she couldn’t believe she’d found a man who wanted all the same things she did.
Her mum had listened and smiled and rubbed her arm and told her daughter how happy she was for her. How this was what life was all about. Finding love, settling down, creating a family of your own. That it was all anyone needed.
Beau had almost not been able to believe how lucky she was herself. But she’d believed in him. Almost devoutly. Her faith in their love had been undeniable, and when Gray had asked her to marry him, she’d been the happiest girl in the world.
She’d thought no one could be happier than her. She’d thought she was going to marry the man she was head over heels in love with and that they would have children and a brilliant life together, just as her parents had done. They’d be strong together, united, and when the time came for them to be grandparents, their love would continue to grow. It had all been mapped out in her mind’s eye.
But then he’d destroyed everything she’d believed in and she hadn’t even got an apology! Not that it would mean much now. Too much time had passed. The time for an apology had been eleven years ago. Not now.
But there was nowhere for her to escape him here. They were stuck together. Buddied up, for crying out loud! She must have tutted, because Barb turned to look at her as they slowly marched up a steep, rocky incline.
‘Mack mentioned you’re a doctor?’
Brought back to reality, she tried to push her anger to one side so that she could speak politely to Barb. ‘Yes, I am.’
‘Do you have a specialty?’
She nodded and smiled. ‘Neurology.’
‘Ooh! That sounds complicated. They say there’s so much about the brain that we don’t know.’
‘Actually, we know a good deal. Technology has advanced so far nowadays.’
‘You know, I think I saw a documentary once where there was a brain operation and they did it with the patient wide awake! I couldn’t believe it! This poor man was having to identify pictures on flash cards whilst the surgeons were sticking God only knows what into his brain!’
Beau smiled. ‘It’s called intraoperative brain mapping.’
Barb shuddered. ‘Have you seen it done?’
‘I’ve done it. I’m a surgeon.’
‘Ooh! Con—you hear that? Beau here’s a brain surgeon!’ Barb grabbed her husband’s arm to get his attention and Conrad nodded at Beau.
‘Well, let’s hope we don’t need your services during this next week, Doctor.’
She laughed, a lot of her anger gone. The married couple seemed nice. They were both middle-aged, though Conrad’s hair was already silvery, whereas his wife’s perfectly coiffed hair was dark. They reminded her slightly of her own parents. Happily married, easy in each other’s company and still very much in love.
Despite everything, it made her smile. ‘How long have you two been together?’
Barb glanced at her husband. ‘Thirty-five years this August.’
‘Wow! Congratulations.’
‘Thank you, dear. I have to say it’s been wonderful. We’ve never had a cross word and we’ve never spent more than a night apart.’
‘How do you do it? Stay so happy, I mean?’
‘We pursue our own hobbies, but we also make sure we follow an interest together. Which is why we’re doing this. We both love walking and seeing the country. Though last year Con had a few heart issues, so we thought we’d come on this course. Combine an interest with a necessity. Sometimes you can be out in the middle of nowhere and it can take hours before you get medical attention. We both thought it a good idea to get some medical basics under our belts.’
Beau nodded. It was a good idea. For a long time she had thought that basic first aid, and especially CPR, ought to be taught in schools. So many more people would survive accidents or sudden turns of events in their own health if everyone was taught the basics.
‘Good for you.’
‘What made you come on this course? This kind of stuff must be old hat to you.’
Beau looked across the plateau they’d reached, at the glorious sweeping plains, a patchwork of green, grey and purple hues, and the mountains in the distance. The open expanse. ‘I got cabin fever. Needed to get back to nature for a while.’
‘And the other doctor? The Scottish one? It looked like you two know each other.’
There was so much she could have said.
Why, yes, I do know that lying, conniving, horrible Scot...
‘Briefly. A long time ago. We haven’t seen each other for a while.’
Barb peered at her, her eyebrows raised. ‘Parted on bad terms, did you?’
She smiled politely. ‘You could say that.’
‘Aw...’ The older woman patted her arm. ‘Life’s too short for holding on to anger, honey. When you get to our age, you learn that. Our son Caleb, bless his heart, always jokes that Con and I are “on the coffin side of fifty”!’ She laughed out loud. ‘And he’s right—we are. People waste too much time being angry or holding on to resentments and it keeps them stuck in one place. They can’t move forward, they can’t move on, and they lose so much time in life, focusing on being stuck in the sad when they could be focusing on being happy.’
Beau appreciated what Barb was trying to say, but it didn’t help. There was still so much anger inside her focused on Gray. Suddenly she realised that until she heard some sort of explanation from him, she didn’t think there was any way for her to move forward. She knew an apology wouldn’t help—not really. But maybe she’d like to hear it, see him wriggle about on the end of his hook like the worm that he was.
Gray McGregor owed her something, and until she heard it, she wasn’t sure what it was. But she wouldn’t let it bother her. She told herself she didn’t care. Even if she was still trapped in the past when it came to Gray. She might have grown up, found herself a stellar career and proved to her peers that she was one of the top neurologists in the country, but in her heart she was still a little girl lost. Hurt and abandoned.
Her heart broken in two.
And there was only a certain Scottish cardiologist who might be able to fix it.
* * *
Gray replayed in his mind his recent words with Beau. He kept his gaze upon her, walking far ahead of him, wondering how she was feeling.
Those dark auburn waves of hers bounced around her shoulders and gleamed russet in the sunshine. He could see her chatting amiably with Con and Barb and wished she could be as easygoing with him. It would make the next week a lot easier for both of them if they could put the past in the past and just concentrate on enjoying the hike and the medical scenarios.
But the sweet, agreeable Beau he’d once known seemed long gone, and in her place was a new version. And this one was flinty, cold and dismissive.
He wasn’t sure how to handle her like that, and he’d already been feeling enough guilt about what he’d done without her laying it on thick to make him feel worse.
I know I owe you an explanation.
So many times he’d thought about what he needed to say to her. How he intended to explain, to apologise. Always, in his own mind, the conversation went quite well. Beau would listen quietly and attentively. Most importantly, she would understand that the decision not to turn up at their wedding had hurt him just as much as it had hurt her.
But now he could see just how much he’d been wrong. Beau would not sit quietly and just listen. She would not be understanding and patient.
Had he changed her? By walking away from her, had he changed her personality?
So now he chose to give her space. Letting her walk with Barb and Conrad, staring at the back of her head so hard he kept expecting her to rub the back of it, as if the discomfort of his stare would become something physical.
And he worried. There was strain on her face, a pallor to her skin that reinforced the brightness of her freckles and the dark circles beneath her eyes.
Surely he wasn’t the cause of that? Surely she’d just been working too hard, or for too long, and wasn’t getting enough sleep? He knew she worked hard. He’d kept track of her career after medical school. She was one of the top neurologists in the country—maybe even in the whole of Europe. That had to take its toll, right?
But what if she’s ill?
A hundred possibilities ran through his mind, but he tossed them all aside, believing that she wouldn’t be so silly as to come out on a trek through the wilderness if she was ill.
It had to be stress. Doing too much and not eating properly.
He hadn’t seen a ring on her finger. As far as he was aware, she wasn’t married, and the hours she worked would leave hardly any time for dating. Unless she was seeing someone at work? There was always that possibility...
He shifted at the uncomfortable thought and tugged at the neckline of his tee shirt, feeling uneasy. Hating the fact that the idea of her being with someone else still made him feel odd.
Yet she was never mine to have. I should never have let it get so far in the first place. I was wrong for her.
‘Here you go...have a pull of this.’ Rick offered him a small flask. ‘It’ll keep you going. Always does the trick for me at the start of a long hike.’
Gray considered the offer, but then shook his head. ‘No, thanks. Best to stick to water. That stuff will dehydrate you.’
‘What do you think I’ve got in here?’ Rick grinned.
‘It’s a whisky flask, so I’m guessing...alcohol?’
‘Nah! It’s just an energy drink my wife makes. It’s got guarana in it. It’s good for you!’
Gray took the flask and sniffed at it. It smelled very sweet. ‘And how much caffeine?’
‘Dunno. But it tastes great!’
He passed it back without sampling it. ‘Do you know that some energy drinks can trigger cardiac arrest even in someone healthy?’
Rick stopped drinking and held the flask in front of him uncertainly. ‘Really?’
‘If you consume too many. The high levels of caffeine mixed with other substances can act like a drug, stimulating the central nervous system to high levels when consumed in high doses.’
‘You’re serious? I thought all that pineapple and grapefruit juice was good for me.’
‘It can be. Just don’t add all the other stuff. Do you know for sure what’s in there?’
Rick shook the flask, listening to the swish of the liquid inside. ‘No. But she spends ages in the kitchen making it for me and it always seems to help.’
Gray grinned. ‘I’d stick to water, if I were you.’
‘How do you know all this?’
‘I’m a cardiologist. I’ve operated on a fair few people who’ve ended up in the ER because of too many energy drinks.’
Rick began to pale. ‘Wow. You think something’s good for you...’
‘Sorry to be a party pooper.’
‘Nah, you’re all right.’ Rick tipped the flask upside down and emptied the juice out onto the ground. ‘Doesn’t make sense to carry the extra weight, does it?’
Gray looked up at Beau and considered all the extra emotional weight he was carrying. ‘It doesn’t. It doesn’t help you at all.’
* * *
They’d been walking for a steady hour, and by Beau’s reckoning—not that she knew much about these things—they’d walked about three miles into the park, all of it uphill. Her calf muscles burned and she was beginning to feel sore spots within her new hiking boots. She hoped she wasn’t getting blisters.
The hillside had produced a plateau, a wide expanse of grasslands, and eventually they’d passed through a grove of lodgepole pine trees—tall and slender, the bark looking almost white from a distance, but grey up close.
Mack stopped them as they got near. ‘You’ll see a lot of these throughout the park. They’re a fire-dependent species, and the seeds you can see, once fallen, provide a natural foraging source for grizzlies as we pass into fall. So you see this tree, then you look for the bear that goes with it. Luckily there isn’t one here today.’
He smiled as everyone looked at each other and laughed nervously.
‘But this is one example of always needing to be prepared. If you’re walking in a new area, know the ecology, the flora and fauna—it can help you stay safe. Today there’s no reason not to know. The Internet can tell you in an instant. There are books. Read. Research. It could save your life. Medically, indigenous tribes have used the lodgepole pine for many ailments—they steam the pine needles and bark to help with lung issues, and they also use it for bronchitis, fever and even stomach ache treatments. You can make a pitch from the pines and use it as a plaster for infections, burns and sores.’
Beau looked up at the canopy of the tall tree and was amazed. Working in a hospital, with the technology and advancement that came in the present day, it was easy to forget that all medicine originated from the use of plants, trees, shrubs and flowers. But it was important and not to be forgotten. She got out her compact camera from her pack and took a picture.
Mack walked them on and the plateau soon began to dip down towards a narrow rocky stream. The sound of running water was refreshing in the day’s heat and Mack encouraged them all to take in some liquid refreshment and eat a small snack.
Beau perched on a large stone and nibbled on a flapjack she’d brought, avoiding Gray’s glance and hoping he would stay away from her for a while longer.
Irritatingly, he sat down opposite her.
‘How are you enjoying this so far?’ he asked in his lilting Scottish burr.
‘It’s wonderful. Especially when I don’t have to look at you.’
He glanced down at the ground. ‘There’s no need to attack me all the time, Beau. I feel bad enough as it is.’
‘Good.’
He let out a heavy sigh, looking out across the stream bordered by rocks and grassy banks. ‘I suppose you want me to go away?’
She didn’t look at him. ‘Or just be quiet. Either would do.’
He pulled some trail mix from his pack and offered it to her. ‘Nuts?’
She glanced at him to see if he was making fun of her or being insulting. ‘No. Thank you.’
‘You know you’re stuck with me, hen?’
She put away her flapjack, annoyance written all over her face, and refastened the buckles on her backpack. ‘I’m not a hen.’
‘Sorry, lass.’
She stood up and heaved the pack onto her back. ‘Wow. An apology. You do know how to make them, then?’
Gray looked up at her, squinting in the sun. ‘Aye.’
‘And...?’
‘And what?’
‘Where’s my real apology? The one you should have made eleven years ago?’
He cocked his head to one side and pulled his sunglasses down over his eyes. ‘I’m saving it.’
‘Saving it? For what?’
He looked about them before getting to his feet and leaning in towards her, so that his face was up close to hers. It was unnerving, having him this close. Those moss-green eyes staring deeply into her soul and searching. His breath upon her cheek.
‘For when you’re actually ready to listen. There’s no point in me trying to explain whilst you’re like this.’
‘I’m not sure it’s important, anyhow. Too little and too late.’
‘And that proves my point.’
He walked away to sit down somewhere else.
Beau began to breathe again. Their brief conversation had unsettled her. Again. Plainly the way she was reacting to him was not working. Open hostility towards Gray was like water bouncing off an umbrella. It made no difference to him at all. He quite clearly was not going to apologise to her unless she got herself together.
Irritating man!
Most irritating because she was stuck with him for a week!
She had to be realistic. They were here. Together. And, worst of all, they were buddied up together. She knew from the itinerary for the trip that there would be paired activities where they would have to work with each other away from the main group. Orienteer themselves to another part of the park. Which meant time alone.
They had to start working together. Whether she liked it or not.
She turned to look for him and saw him standing with Mack, chatting. Beau headed over and plastered a charming smile onto her face. ‘Excuse me, Mack, could I have a quick word with my buddy here?’
‘Absolutely. Glad you’re here, Gray.’ He slapped Gray on the arm before walking away.
Gray looked at her curiously. ‘Yes?’
‘You’re right. We need to be working together for this next week and, as buddies, we need to be strengthening our working relationship. I’m not prepared to fail this course, and with that in mind I’m willing to put our past to one side in the spirit of cooperation and...peace. What do you say?’
She saw him consider her outstretched hand. Saw the question in his solitary raised eyebrow, saw the amiable smile upon his face before he reached out and took her hand.
A charge shot up her arm as her hand tingled in his. The strange yet all too familiar feel of his hand on hers was electrifying and thrilling. Her instinct was to let go. To gasp for oxygen. To rub her palm against her khaki trousers to make it feel normal again. But she did none of these things because her gaze had locked with his and she’d stopped breathing anyway.
Who needs oxygen?
Gray’s leaf-green eyes bored into hers with both an intensity and a challenge, and Beau felt as if she’d been pulled back through time to when they’d first met on a hospital rotation.
They’d been so young, it seemed. All the students had been fresh-faced and eager to learn, eager to start their journeys. The girls smartly dressed, professional. The boys in shirts and ties as yet unwrinkled and sweat-free.
She’d noticed him instantly. The gleam in his eyes had spoken of an ambition she’d clearly been able to see. And had held a twinkle that had spoken of something else: his desire to stand out, to be noticed, to be cheeky with their lecturers. The way he’d pushed deadlines for work, the way he’d risked failing his assessments—that side of him that had been an adrenaline junkie, carefree and daredevilish.
His mischievous, confident grin had pulled her in like a fish to a lure and she’d been hooked. His attitude had been so different from anyone she already knew—so different from that of any of the men in her own family. He’d been that breath of fresh air, that beam of light in the dark, that sparkling, tempting palace in a land of dark and shadow.
He’d shaken her hand then and introduced himself, and instantly she’d heard his soft, lilting Scottish burr and been charmed by it. The very way he’d said her name had been as if he was caressing her. He’d made her feel special.
She’d not wanted to be dazzled by a charming man. Not at the start of her career. But family, love and marriage were high on her agenda and she’d desired what her parents had. A good, steady partner, with a love so deep it was immeasurable. Beau had had no doubt that she would find it one day.
She just hadn’t expected to find it so soon.
Gray had stuck to her side and they’d worked together, played together, studied together and then, after one particularly wild party, slept together. It had seemed such a natural step for them to take. He’d filled her heart with joy. He’d made her feel as if she was ten feet tall. Every moment with him had been as precious as a lifetime. She’d wanted to be with him. She’d wanted to give him everything—because that was what love was. The gift of oneself.
And he hadn’t disappointed her.
Afterwards, as she’d lain in his arms, she’d dreamed about their future. Wondering about whether they would get married, where they might live—not too far from her parents, not too far from his, so their children would have a close relationship with each set of grandparents—and what it would be like to wake up next to him every day for the rest of their lives together.
She’d liked the way he acted differently with her—calmer, more satisfied, considerate. Relaxed. He’d been a hyperactive buzzing student when they’d met, full of beans and so much energy. He’d exhausted her just watching him. But when he was with her, he wasn’t like that. As if he didn’t need to be. And she had found the side of him that she could fall in love with...
Gray smiled now. ‘I hear you. Cooperation and peace. Seems like a good start to me.’
Beau chose not to disagree with him. It was already looking as if it was going to be one very long week ahead, and this adventure was going to be uncomfortable enough as it was.
I’m letting go of the stress.
So she smiled back and nodded.
Mack suggested that they all get going again, if they were to get to the first scenario and have enough extra time to pitch their tents for the evening.
They walked through scrub brush, conifers and thick deep grass. The overhead sun powered down upon them and Beau stopped often to drink and stay hydrated. At one of her stops Gray came alongside and waited with her.
‘How are your parents?’
Beau fastened the lid on her water bottle. It was getting low. Hopefully there’d be a place to refill soon. ‘Not that they’re any of your business any more, but they’re good, thanks.’ She answered in a clipped manner. ‘Yours?’
No need for her to go into detail. What could she say? That they hadn’t changed in over a decade? That they still went to church every Sunday? That they still asked after him?
‘They’re fine.’
‘Great.’ These personal topics were awkward. Perhaps it would be best if they steered away from them? Gray’s parents had always been an awkward subject anyway. She could recall meeting them only a couple of times, and one of those occasions had been at the wedding! They’d been a bit hard to talk to. Gruff. Abrupt. Not that keen on smiling. She’d babbled on their behalf! Chattering away like a radio DJ, musing on life, asking and answering her own questions. She’d been relieved to leave them and go and talk to others, and had just hoped that they’d liked her.
They’d turned up to the wedding anyway. Mr McGregor in his wheelchair, his face all red and broken-veined.
They trekked a bit further. Beau snapped pictures of columbines and hellebores and a herd of moose they saw in the distance. Then Mack brought them into a large clearing that had a stone circle in the centre.
‘Base Camp Number One, people! I’ll teach you later how to safely contain your campfire, but first we’re going to get working on our first medical scenario—soft tissue injuries. As I said before, these are some of the most common injuries we get here in the park, and they can be minor or major. A soft tissue injury is damage to the ligaments, muscles or tendons throughout the body, so we’re looking at sprains, strains and contusions. This sort of damage to the body can result in pain, bruising or localised swelling—even, if severe, loss of function or blood volume.’ He looked at each of them with determination. ‘You do not want to lose either. So what can we do out here with our limited kit? Gray? Care to enlighten us?’
‘Normally you’d follow the PRICE protocol—protection, rest, ice, compression and elevation.’
‘Perfect—did you all hear that?’
The group all murmured agreement.
‘Now, unless you’re in the North or South Pole, you aren’t going to have any ice, so you might have to skip that step, but can anyone think of an alternative?’
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Louisa Heaton
Тип: электронная книга
Жанр: Современные любовные романы
Язык: на английском языке
Издательство: HarperCollins
Дата публикации: 16.04.2024
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О книге: Seven Nights With Her Ex, электронная книга автора Louisa Heaton на английском языке, в жанре современные любовные романы