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Bachelor Doc, Unexpected Dad
Dianne Drake


Army doc Matt McClain and career woman Ellie Landers share one unforgettable night, never expecting to meet again. And then Ellie arrives on Matt’s doorstep—pregnant! Matt has just become guardian to his orphaned nephew, and this nomadic medic isn’t ready to be a father of two! But, faced with losing Ellie and their baby, Matt might just realise that he has what it takes to make them a family.







From confirmed bachelor...

To committed dad!

Army doc Matt McClain and career woman Ellie Landers share one unforgettable night, never expecting to meet again. Until Ellie arrives on Matt’s doorstep—pregnant! Matt has just become guardian to his orphaned nephew, and the nomadic medic isn’t ready to be a father of two! But faced with losing Ellie and their baby, Matt might just realize that he has what it takes to make them a family.


Starting with non-fiction, DIANNE DRAKE penned hundreds of articles and seven books under the name JJ Despain. In 2001 she began her romance-writing career with The Doctor Dilemma. In 2005 Dianne’s first Medical Romance, Nurse in Recovery, was published, and with more than 20 novels to her credit she has enjoyed writing ever since.


Also by Dianne Drake (#u8dea871d-e6dd-575e-b9e2-cb78bce5bc28)

Tortured by Her Touch

Doctor, Mummy…Wife?

The Nurse and the Single Dad

Saved by Doctor Dreamy

Deep South Docs miniseries

A Home for the Hot-Shot Doc

A Doctor’s Confession

Sinclair Hospital Surgeons miniseries

Reunited with Her Army Doc

Healing Her Boss’s Heart

Discover more at millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk).


Bachelor Doc, Unexpected Dad

Dianne Drake






www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)


ISBN: 978-1-474-07528-2

BACHELOR DOC, UNEXPECTED DAD

© 2018 Dianne Despain

Published in Great Britain 2018

by Mills & Boon, an imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF

All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. This edition is published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, locations and incidents are purely fictional and bear no relationship to any real life individuals, living or dead, or to any actual places, business establishments, locations, events or incidents. Any resemblance is entirely coincidental.

By payment of the required fees, you are granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right and licence to download and install this e-book on your personal computer, tablet computer, smart phone or other electronic reading device only (each a “Licensed Device”) and to access, display and read the text of this e-book on-screen on your Licensed Device. Except to the extent any of these acts shall be permitted pursuant to any mandatory provision of applicable law but no further, no part of this e-book or its text or images may be reproduced, transmitted, distributed, translated, converted or adapted for use on another file format, communicated to the public, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of publisher.

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www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)


To a real-life cowboy I met on a lonely ranch road.

Thanks for the inspiration!


Contents

Cover (#ufd3e68dd-f625-5005-8660-aff28cd729dd)

Back Cover Text (#u0a61c648-d179-5082-9dc5-84a4a902ebf4)

About the Author (#u3b0d1b0e-e231-5e99-9a73-bba073e1466c)

Booklist (#u1b7f1434-9499-5652-8f78-0f1065d9542e)

Title Page (#u79886b6c-eea8-540c-9489-d10160fd6dfa)

Copyright (#u63a4369d-cfa8-5fd1-bdca-7fb71b54f799)

Dedication (#u16bdac3a-6902-5fb0-9847-a5bd54769e14)

PROLOGUE (#u504ae32a-cc0b-52c5-a612-19edcd392128)

CHAPTER ONE (#u815cb267-1217-5131-876b-afdaf5277db5)

CHAPTER TWO (#u825b6ae9-ee6a-5226-820c-2945616b613d)

CHAPTER THREE (#u0caf737e-aab0-5ae2-9c67-05c9f2cc7a9f)

CHAPTER FOUR (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)

Extract (#litres_trial_promo)

About the Publisher (#litres_trial_promo)


PROLOGUE (#u8dea871d-e6dd-575e-b9e2-cb78bce5bc28)

MATT ROLLED OVER in bed and looked at her. She was still sleeping, and so beautiful in her sleep he wanted to stay another night with her. That wasn’t his life, though. As tempting as Ellie was, and she was the most tempting woman he’d ever met, he didn’t get to have that kind of involvement in his life. In fact, he’d planned everything to fit him the way he wanted—no strings. It was easier. People didn’t get hurt.

Still, that graceful form under the satin sheets next to him was so hard to resist. And it wasn’t just the physical intimacy that had been good. They’d talked. Dined. Danced. Things he’d never done with a woman before. And Ellie was so easy just to hold, to be near.

The first night, he’d assumed it would be fun and games, she’d be gone by the time he went to sleep, and he would never see her again. But that’s not what had happened. They’d stood on the balcony for a while, looking at the beautiful Reno lights, laughing at silly things, talking much longer than he’d expected to. And the night had passed so quickly. In fact, by the time they’d gotten around to what he’d assumed would take only a short time, the sun had already been coming up and he’d been wondering where the night had gone.

Then Matt had watched Ellie, off and on that day, always having an excuse to be near her. It was a convention and medical conference after all. The hotel ballroom was filled with various displays of new medical products and pharmaceuticals. Somehow, the ones that had seemed to catch his attention had always been near her booth. And while he’d tried not to be obvious about watching her, Ellie had caught him at it a time or two, leaving him with a blush on his face and a shrug on his shoulder. Much the way a schoolboy with a crush would act.

But those looks she’d caught—they’d led to a second night, one with much less talking and much more passion. In fact, she had already been in his bed when he’d gone back to his room, having bribed a maid to let her in. And that night it had been like two desperate people clinging together at the end of the world. In some ways, that’s what it was. The end of their little world as, in three days’ time, he’d be back in a hospital in Mosul, putting pieces of injured soldiers back together. That’s who Matt was. And that was his world. Not this one.

Still, as Matt buttoned his shirt and headed to the hotel room door that second morning he wondered if something like this, someone like Ellie, could ever have a place in his life. It was a nice dream, but in his experience dreams didn’t come true, and it was all he could do to make it through his reality.

Someone like Ellie deserved more. But he was a man who had nothing to give.

Opening the door quietly, so not to disturb her, Matt stepped into the hall, took one last look at Ellie before he shut the door, then leaned against the wall for a moment, watching the hotel maid making her way slowly down the corridor with her cart. By the time she reached this room, he’d be on a plane to Hawaii, and from there a military transport back to Iraq.


CHAPTER ONE (#u8dea871d-e6dd-575e-b9e2-cb78bce5bc28)

“I DON’T KNOW what to do with him,” Matt McClain said, looking down at the little tow-headed boy in the firm grasp of his second cousin, or half-cousin, or whatever it was that related them distantly.

Sarah Clayton held the boy’s hand like she was holding on to a dog that was about to get away. Tight, and with a purpose. But not friendly. There was nothing friendly or nurturing in her. Nothing compassionate. Nothing to indicate she cared at all for the kid. “The same thing you think I’m supposed to do with him. Only I’m not going to do it. I took care of your sister those last two weeks, and I’ve had him with me ever since. But you’re here, and you’re more blood to him than I am so, he’s yours. Besides...”

She held out an envelope—one that had been sealed, opened then sealed again. “Janice left you this.”

He opened it, and looked down at the shaky handwriting—the handwriting of a dying woman. A lump formed in his throat and he turned his back to Sarah as he read it.

Dear Matt,

If you’re reading this, that means the cancer has finally beaten me. The doctors said I was too late for treatment, but that’s been my life. Too late for everything. It’s called non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, and I’m sure you know all about it since you’re a doctor.

Yes, I know you’re a doctor. Heard it from a man in the casino where I was working. He was drunk and saying all kinds of crazy things...things that didn’t make sense. His name was Carter, I think, and he said he was a doctor. I don’t know if that’s true, but he was going on about his buddy Matt, from Forgeburn, who saved his life. Great doctor, he called you. And I’m sure you are.

Matt stopped reading for a moment and took a breath. Carter Holmes had been his best buddy since med-school days. He’d sustained almost fatal injuries and, yes, he’d saved his life. “Do you know how long Janice was in Vegas?” he asked Sarah, without turning to face her.

“For a while, I think. She told me she moved around a lot. Changed her name so your old man wouldn’t find her. Said she was always looking over her shoulder to make sure he wasn’t coming after her.”

Matt clenched his jaw, not wanting to read any more but knowing he had to.

I don’t blame you for not sending for me, Matty. We were both kids. Neither of us knew what to do. But I did wait until I couldn’t stay there anymore. You were gone, Dad left me behind, and even though I wasn’t even fifteen I knew I had to leave there, too.

I spent a lot of time going from place to place, never settling down. I was afraid to. Afraid I’d get too comfortable someplace and let my guard down. So I always moved on. Funny thing is, all those years I was running I guess Dad had died right after he left Forgeburn. At least that’s what Sarah said. Guess neither of us had to run away, did we?

Matt turned to Sarah. “He’s dead?”

She nodded. “They found him in one of the canyons. They think he’d passed on quite a while before one of the cowboys stumbled on him. He was living like he always did, they said. Hoarding trash and drinking his life away. Folks around here said it was the drink that took him. Didn’t really care to find out.”

Matt shut his eyes. So many wasted years he and Janice had had when they could have stayed together. But they’d become two kids out on their own, in a world they didn’t know. He’d found his salvation in the army. But Janice... Matt turned away from Sarah again, before she could see the tears brimming in his eyes.

I did one good thing, though, Matty. His name is Lucas. I don’t know who his father is, and there’s no sense looking. But he’s a good boy—the only thing I’ve done right. I want you to take care of him for me. Make sure he has better than what we did.

Do for him, Matty, what you couldn’t do for me.

That was where the letter ended. No last words, no signature. “Is this all?” he asked Sarah.

“It was all she could do to get that on paper. She went to sleep with the pen still in her hand and she didn’t...”

Matt nodded as he looked across the sandy expanse at his sister’s grave. A few mourners were still there—maybe five or six and he wondered who they were and why they had come. Forgeburn had never been a real home to them. All it had ever been was the place from which they wanted to escape. “Why did she come back here?” he asked.

“Because she wanted to contact you, but she wasn’t up to it. And I was the only relative, even though I live a good fifty miles from here.”

“So, Lucas,” Matt said, once he’d regained his composure and turned around again to face Sarah. “You’ve got kids. You know how to take care of them. I don’t. And I’m still on active duty. I have to report back in two months.” He’d been granted emergency family leave to come and make arrangements for Lucas, but those arrangements didn’t include keeping him. That thought had never crossed his mind as he’d assumed Lucas was already settled in with Sarah. But apparently not. “And I’m scheduled to go back to Iraq later this year. How, in all of that, does he fit in?”

“Look, Matt. I kept him until you got here, just to be nice, but this is where it ends. Janice named you as his legal guardian, the social worker from child services has seen to the legalities of it, which makes him your responsibility, not mine. So adopt him yourself, or find someone else who wants him—it’s your decision. And I don’t mean to be unreasonable about this, but my husband doesn’t want him. We’ve got enough to handle without adding another child to it. So...” She shrugged. “Take him. Or get rid of him. Either way, I’m out of it.”

Take him. Just like that. Take a nephew he hadn’t even known he had until he’d received word his sister had died. Matt wasn’t opposed to family responsibility. In a lot of ways, he liked the idea of honoring the obligation, even in a family like his. A mother who had left when he’d been five. A sister who had—well, ended up back where she’d started. A dad who apparently had died without notice.

But Lucas—he needed his chance. He hadn’t asked to be born into the McClain family. It’s just what he’d got. Still, kids didn’t belong in his life. He’d planned it like that. No kids, no obligations. Obligations—for a moment the image of Ellie flashed through his mind. If ever there’d been a time when he’d come close to taking on an obligation other than his career...

“Look, Sarah, give me a couple weeks to figure it out. Can you do that much?”

Sarah shook her head. “Sorry.”

Well, she wasn’t giving him many options. For a career military surgeon, always going in one direction or another, moving from place to place and in his case combat zone to combat zone, there was no room to care for a child. In fact, he didn’t even have a place to call home, and kids needed a home, and stability. They needed someone there all the time to raise them. They needed what he and Janice had never had.

“All I can say, Matt, is I know you’ve been doing good for yourself, despite the way your daddy treated you. I’m glad for you. But I can’t take Lucas. So, like I said, I’ve already contacted child services, they know the situation, and the paperwork’s started. So he’ll go to a group home until they can find a family who’ll take him in, unless you do. As for adoption...” She shrugged. “Can’t say what’ll happen there. He’s a cute kid. Doesn’t talk, though. Not a word.” She leaned in and whispered, “Don’t think he’s very smart.”

“Probably because he’s traumatized from everything that’s been happening to him,” Matt snapped. Then he looked down at Lucas, who was sucking his thumb. He had a ratty old blanket tucked under his arm, and he wore a pair of sneakers that were clearly several sizes too large. All Matt could think was he was so vulnerable. And scared. Matt knew what it was like to be vulnerable and scared. Knew exactly what the kid was feeling...like his whole world had just collapsed. Matt couldn’t blame Lucas for not wanting to talk. There had been many times in his own young life when he hadn’t wanted to talk either.

“Hope it doesn’t mess up your life too much, Matt,” Sarah said, then turned and walked away, leaving Matt standing alone in the cemetery, holding on to Lucas with one hand and a bag of clothes with the other. And with no idea what to do next.

“Do you eat hamburgers?” he asked Lucas, who looked up at him with wide, frightened eyes. The kid needed more than a hamburger. Matt knew that. He needed words of reassurance. The promise of a home. A hug. Right now, though, he was equipped to buy him a hamburger. That’s all.

Did kids his age eat hamburgers? Matt’s medical training told him yes. But his parenting training—well, there was none of that to draw on. No kids in his life, no kids in his future. No home. No wife. He thought back to that morning when he’d left Ellie sleeping and walked away. Too bad he couldn’t go back and stay there. It had been nice. No worries. No past. No future. Just that moment in time. Unlike this moment in time, when his only goal was a hamburger, or anything else a two-year-old would eat.

* * *

“I need to do what?” Ellie Landers looked at the ultrasound, and didn’t see anything particularly distressing. She knew how to interpret what she was seeing. Her brief time in nursing had taught her that much. And what she saw right now looked perfectly normal.

“Rest more. Eat better. Reduce stress. Cut back on work. You know, the simple things.”

She did know, but she wasn’t sure why all this applied to her. Dr. Shaffer had just told her the baby was healthy. She was healthy, too. So why the precautions? “But there’s nothing wrong with me. You said so just a few minutes ago.” Now she was worried.

“Your blood pressure is on the high end of normal. You’re at risk for gestational diabetes partly because of your age and partly because your mother has diabetes. And you’re chronically tired.”

“Because I work eighteen hours a day.” Ellie liked Doc Shaffer. He’d been her mother’s obstetrician, now he was hers. Medically, he had a great reputation. Personally, he was just plain kind. He’d never asked her to explain the pregnancy. Not that there was much to explain about a two-night fling at a medical conference. All that, plus he had a great heart for his patients and treated them with respect and dignity no matter what the situation. As someone in the medical field, Ellie appreciated that. As a patient, she was glad to have it.

“Cut it back,” he said, leaning forward across his desk, looking over at her across the top of his glasses. “You’re thirty-four, Ellie. You live a busy life and drive yourself harder than anybody I’ve ever seen, except your mom. And I don’t want you having complications with this pregnancy.”

Thirty-four and owner of one of the fastest-growing medical illustration companies in the world. Something she’d built from the ground up. “But you think I could be at risk?”

“You could be, if you don’t slow down—which puts your baby at risk.”

Her baby. It was strange hearing that, because Ellie had never really thought of this life she was carrying as her baby. It was a baby, possibly someone else’s baby, depending on whether or not her fling wanted to be a daddy. But her baby? Hearing that gave her a maternal jolt she hadn’t expected. It wasn’t enough to make her change her mind to become a single mom, but it did make Ellie more aware of the baby she was carrying.

“Look, I’ll cut back on the hours. Eat better. But I’m not going to go home, kick my feet up and watch old movies for the next almost five months. I have to work. My company needs me, and I need it.”

“You’re just like your mother. Do you know that?” Doc Shaffer leaned back in his chair, typed something into his computer, then shook his head. “She was as driven as you are. And as stubborn.”

Ellie Landers wanted to smile at the comparison, but she couldn’t as she didn’t want to be like her mother and didn’t want to be compared to her either. “And look how successful she’s been. She owns one of the largest technology companies in Nevada.” And she’d raised a child as a single mom. Well, mostly in absentia. But she did get the credit for hiring the right people to take care of her. All this was something Ellie wasn’t prepared to do.

Children needed a real family, a parent or parents who didn’t hire someone to take their child to the playground, who didn’t pay for the most qualified caregivers but, instead, took responsibility for that care themselves. Family dinners, stories at bedtime. That’s what children needed—what Ellie had never had, and what she wasn’t able to give. Not with her job or her chosen lifestyle. That’s what Ellie had learned from her own upbringing and what she carried with her every day of her life. That kind of life wasn’t meant to be her kind of life.

Still, the dream of it—home, family. Husband. It was nice. But so ethereal it made Ellie sad. So that’s where she stopped because the rest of the dream was so vague. But the husband was not. Since Reno, she’d had a vision of him. Even more now that she was carrying his baby.

“Whatever the case, stop at Reception on your way out and schedule your next appointment. I’d like to see you back in six weeks as a precautionary measure. Also, I’ve written you a prescription for prenatal vitamins, and the name of a good physical therapist should your back spasms continue.”

“I don’t need a therapist for backache and I already take vitamins. I started the day I found out I was pregnant.”

“Which is good. But the ones I’m prescribing have more iron—you’re a little anemic, and they also have much more folic acid than anything you can get OTC, because you need folic acid. It’s for the healthy development of the brain, eyes, cells and nervous system.”

“I know,” Ellie said. “Remember, I worked in obstetrics?” She’d been a good nurse, but nursing hadn’t suited her the way she’d hoped it would. Maybe because it required nurturing in abundance, and she didn’t have a speck of it in her. She had been good at the procedural aspects, but had lacked the genuine human touch that was also needed. Ellie could see her shortcoming, and she’d honestly worked to correct it because she loved medicine, but there had always been something missing. She couldn’t define it, couldn’t describe it to her supervisor when she’d resigned from her job.

And now, ten years later, she still couldn’t define what that lack was other than she simply didn’t have a nurturer’s instinct. But she’d found her niche—medical illustration.

Ellie had always loved drawing and was pretty good at it. Had won a few childhood awards. Turned it into her minor course of study in college. So when she’d read that it was an expanding field with growth potential, she’d jumped at the chance to be part of it, anxious to combine her love of medicine with her love of drawing. Of course, more education had been required. Two additional years of study on top of the four she’d had in nursing school. In those two years, however, she’d gone from not only wanting to be an illustrator but wanting to build her own company. And it was also exciting. Even now, she had no regrets.

“Yes, I know you were a nurse—for about a minute—then you moved on. Remember that?”

“And those charts of fetal development you have hanging on the wall in your waiting room...” She smiled. She’d done them. And she’d illustrated numerous medical texts. Plus, they were doing medical videography now.

Doc Shaffer laughed. “Point taken. You’ve made a name for yourself, but that name must cut back on her hours, and get more rest. You work too hard, Ellie, and while I’m an advocate for women getting on with their lives when they’re pregnant, your life is a little over the top. In other words, baby needs some rest.”

Rest—that she would do. Even though she wasn’t going to keep this baby, she did want to give it every advantage she could coming into this world, and keeping herself healthy was the start of it. “So, is that all you want? Or would you like another pint of blood?”

Doc Shaffer chuckled. “You know what I want, and at the rate you’re going, that’s a big order.”

“Then I’ll do better,” she promised. And she would. While Ellie didn’t want the responsibility of raising a child, not with her fear of turning out to be the kind of mother hers was, she certainly didn’t want to put this baby at risk. She’d made her choice the day her dipstick had gone from blue to pink, and nothing had changed since then. She’d tell Dr. Matt McClain he was going to be a father and give him the option to raise their baby. Or she would opt for adoption, if he didn’t want to. It was all straightforward. Ellie owned a business and that was her life, all she wanted. Real babies, boyfriends and husbands were not needed.

So all Ellie had to do now was tell someone who’d expected a couple of casual days of fun at a medical convention that casual had turned into commitment. If that’s what he wanted. He’d seemed like a nice guy. A little distracted. But kind. And polite. Really good looking...traditionally tall, dark and handsome, and rugged. Dark eyes, wavy black hair, rugged. Built like she’d never seen another man built.

Just thinking about him now gave Ellie goose-bumps. The way he’d looked those couple of nights when she’d let go of her self-made business-first rules, let her hair down and lived in a fantasy that had never happened in her reality was still with her. He’d hung on in her mind long after Reno. From time to time she’d even caught herself distracted by a daydream of him. A leftover feeling she couldn’t explain and didn’t want to explore. Then the reality of those days had crept in, about six weeks later.

And now, well—all Ellie had to do was the figurative baby-in-a-basket-on-the-doorstep thing, and hope he’d take that basket in. It was his baby too and not only did he have the right to know, he had the right to be a daddy, if that’s what he wanted. Or be involved in the adoption process, if that’s what he wanted. Either way, she’d know what was going to happen soon. Ellie was glad he was out of the military now and back home, because from here she was headed straight to Forgeburn, Utah.

* * *

“It’s not a traditional medical practice,” Dr. Donald Granger explained. “But you know that since you’re from here. Most of it’s a cowboy practice now, and that’s about as tough as it gets. Then you’ve got some of the canyon resort areas with tourists who need medical care occasionally. And we do have some locals in a couple little spread-out towns. There’s a pretty fair patient base—enough to keep one doc busy.

“If you need help, the clinic in Whipple Creek will usually send someone out for a day or two, but you’ve got to keep in mind that you’re the only real medical help within a hundred miles in any direction. So what you’ll be getting is a practice that stretches out for more miles than any practical medical practice should have to, house calls that’ll take up half your day for something minor—and, yes, house calls are part of what the people here expect—and the cowboy trailers—good luck finding those.

“It’s a hard life, son. But a good one. People will appreciate you more because access to you isn’t easy for many of them. And there’s no one to rely on but you, which develops stamina. And courage. Lots of courage.”

“If it’s so good,” Matt asked, “why are you giving it up?” He had qualms about taking over a GP practice, even if only for a little while because being back home came with all kinds of bad memories, and he was afraid those might surface at the wrong times and prevent him from doing his best. Plus, he wasn’t a GP. That was another big drawback. In fact, the only good thing was that it would keep him busy, and he needed that. Lucas was a great kid, but spending every minute of every day together wasn’t good for either of them. They both needed some separation from time to time.

“I’ve been doing it for fifty years, as you know, since I took care of you when you were little. And these old bones aren’t rugged enough anymore. Also, I’ve got grandkids who don’t even know me. So it’s time for me to move on, to rest the weary bones and play with the grandkids.”

“You do realize I’m only going to be a temp here. Once the situation with Lucas gets straightened out, I have to report back to duty. They’ve given me two months, which is the time I’ve accrued for regular leave. So you’ll still have to keep looking for someone to buy you out.”

“Or close the practice for good if I can’t.” Dr. Granger held out his hands. They were knotted with arthritis. “These hands can’t do the job anymore, Matt, or I would carry on. I wouldn’t want to see this place go without a doctor, but most of the young docs coming out of medical school want something better than what I’ve got to offer, and the older docs who have had something better now want something simpler. Practicing in Forgeburn doesn’t just take love for the work, it takes love for the work here.”

That would never happen. Once child services had a good placement for Lucas, he’d be gone. Being here was only a matter of circumstances, and Matt wasn’t staying because he wanted to. He was staying for Lucas. “So, when do you want me to start?”

“Are you sure about this, Matt? Do you really want to do this?”

“No. But, I’m not staying here for me. The army has me and I’ll go back as soon as I can.”

“And that little one you’re looking after?”

“Lucas is a good kid, and I’m going to make sure I’ve found the best situation for him before I leave. If that means staying here for longer than I’d wanted, that’s what I’ll do because I don’t want him growing up the way I did. You know how it was with Janice and me, Doc—and no kid deserves that.”

“But you came through it, Matt, and look at you now.”

Yes, just look at him. The man who knew nothing about kids as temporary guardian of a child he couldn’t raise. Kids needed much more than anything he had to offer. In fact, as it stood, Matt had nothing to offer whatsoever. His life in the army didn’t mix with domesticity in any form. “But my sister didn’t, which is why I have to do what I’m doing. I owe it to her to do this for Lucas.” Even though he was sure Janice’s intention had been for him to keep the boy. But that wouldn’t work out.

“Well, OK, then. How about starting right now? Oh, and talk to Betty Nelson about watching Lucas. She’s a retired teacher. Really good with little ones. I couldn’t recommend anyone better than her.”

“I’ll do that,” Matt said, thinking back to his grade-school days. Betty Nelson had been his teacher for a year. She’d paid for his lunch, and Janice’s, when he hadn’t had money—which had been pretty much every day. And she’d made sure that he’d had his school supplies even though his dad had refused to pay for them. She’d be a perfect babysitter for Lucas, and Matt was keeping his fingers crossed she would do that. “I’ll definitely talk to her.”

So now this was where he put on his stethoscope and stepped into a completely different life. For a little while. That’s what he’d keep telling himself—for a little while.

But what if he couldn’t find a good situation for Lucas? Could he walk away from him knowing he was leaving Lucas where he, himself, had been left so many times during his own childhood?

No, he didn’t want to think about that. Didn’t want to think into the future. Reality, here and now, was good enough. Always had been because it’s all he’d ever been able to count on. Getting by, moment to moment.

Sighing, Matt held out his hand for the keys to the clinic. This was for Janice, he reminded himself. For Janice and Lucas. It didn’t make things easier, but it made him feel better. It’s what he had to do—that’s the thought that ran through his mind for the next few hours as he prepared himself mentally to be part of Forgeburn again.

The clinic was small, just as he remembered it. One underwhelming exam room with basic outdated equipment, a minor procedures room, a shared public and staff bathroom, a small reception area and waiting room, which seated only six people, and a tiny, knee-hole office. But it did have a nice storage room attached to his office, larger than he would have expected, with a window at the rear of it overlooking a rock formation in the distance.

A playroom for Lucas when Betty Nelson couldn’t watch him? Switch to a Dutch door for security, add carpeting—it was a thought. One that didn’t go away as he walked around the outside of the small white cement building that stood alone in the middle of a cracked asphalt parking lot, surrounded by sand, dirt and a lot of cacti.

The next closest structure, a small, nineteen-sixties-style hotel was, with a lot of squinting, within eyesight. There really was no upside to the medical office, nothing nice or pretty or comforting, but the house he’d also be getting as part of the deal was definitely an upside. Modestly large, fairly new, with a nice pool and beautiful canyon view. A squared-off adobe-style with an open floor plan, large kitchen—he used to love to cook—and a casita with in-home or private access. Not that he needed a casita, since he didn’t anticipate anyone ever coming to visit him. But at least it gave him an option.

* * *

“This is where we’ll be staying,” he said to Lucas the next day as they explored the outside area together, to make sure the pool was completely secured and safe, grateful Doc Granger’s one indulgence in life had been his house. It would be a good place for Lucas. Comfortable. Safe. “How about we go take a look?” He’d wanted to carry Lucas, but Lucas was often resistant to that, unless he was tired. A child with determination, Matt thought.

Lucas’s reaction was to turn his back to Matt and stare at a little brown and blue skink darting into a rock garden at the edge of the patio. It was trying to get away from prying eyes. Sort of what Matt felt like doing, to be honest. “Well, if you’re not interested in looking around today, we’ll be back tomorrow when we move in. Plenty of time for exploring then.”

Especially since Doc Granger had already vacated the place. Except for the furniture, which was staying with the house, all the personal touches were gone. And Matt had an idea Doc Granger was, right now, playing with grandkids. Which meant Matt was totally on his own here. It wasn’t an unsettling thought, but it wasn’t a comforting one either, since he knew so little about his new responsibilities. Well, live and learn. He’d make the best of it, like he was making the best of being a temporary dad.

“You ready to leave?” he finally asked Lucas, who’d gone over to the rocks, looking for the skink. Of course, Lucas didn’t answer. Neither did he take Matt’s hand when Matt extended it to him. Instead, he took an extra-firm hold on the ratty old blanket he carried with him everywhere, and trailed along next to Matt. Never too close, but never too far.

There were two cars in the parking lot. Actually, one car and a pick-up truck. And there was little to indicate this was a medical clinic except the weather-beaten sign at the edge of the parking lot that read: “Medical Clinic”. Followed by an emergency phone number.

* * *

“Well, this is it,” Ellie said. It had become her habit to talk to her baby. While she was only just past eighteen weeks along, and babies in the womb didn’t start hearing until around twenty-three weeks, she liked the connection. Felt that, on some level, it would help her baby’s development. So she talked.

“Not what I expected. For some reason, I’d guessed your daddy to be...better established.” Of course, they’d never really talked about such things. They’d talked about other things, especially that first night—medicine, college days, the convention—but never about their own realities. That had been part of keeping it from becoming too personal. Of course, that hadn’t worked out, had it?

Ellie glanced down at her belly as she stepped out of her car. It wasn’t exactly flat now, but loose-fitting cargo pants and an oversized white, gauzy shirt still concealed the obvious. Not for much longer, though, as her naked profile was that of a woman with a bulging belly. But right now her baggy clothes kept her condition a secret from her co-workers—she didn’t want to answer all the questions—and from Matt as well, until she found the right moment to tell him.

What she didn’t want was for him to open the door to her and see her belly right off. Why shock him like that? It wouldn’t be right.

Also, she wanted to reassure herself he was someone she wanted to raise the baby because Reno hadn’t been about real life, whereas this baby definitely was. So Ellie wanted to know, see more, before she let Matt know what had happened. She’d thought about how to handle the inevitable the whole way here, and hadn’t come up with a real solution yet. Time would tell, she supposed as she entered the building, only to discover a completely empty waiting room. No patients, no receptionist. Just chairs and a desk.

“Well, it’s clean,” she whispered, as she wandered down the short hall leading to the exam room, looking for signs of life. “Anybody here?” she finally called out.

Ellie listened, heard noises coming from the room marked “EXAM” and moved a little closer. “Hello?” she called out again.

This time there was an answer. “There is, and I’ll be with you in about five minutes. Please, take a seat in the waiting room.”

She recognized the voice, of course. Nice, smooth. Very sexy. A voice worthy of goose-bumps that were, coincidentally, already running up her arms. “Thank you,” she called back. It was closer to ten minutes, though, before a young woman, who wore khaki shorts and worn hiking boots, wandered down the hall and out the front door, sporting an elastic brace on her left arm. And it was another couple of minutes before Matt appeared in the waiting room, with a little boy at his side.

“Ellie?” he said, frowning at first then slowly giving a broad smile. “I—I didn’t expect to see you here.” He took quick steps in her direction, then stopped before the predictable embrace “How have you been?”

She stopped as well, suddenly feeling uncertain about what she was doing here. “I’ve been fine, Matt. I was vacationing nearby, and thought I would stop by to see you. If you don’t mind.”

“Mind? Absolutely not. I...um... I’m glad to see you,” he said, obviously surprised and a little off kilter.

This was so awkward. She felt it. He felt it. But she was here and now she had to go through with her plan. Well, maybe not this very moment. But in a while. “I’m glad to see you, too. I wasn’t sure if you’d want me to look you up, but I took a chance and...” Ellie took two more steps in Matt’s direction, but too quickly as her head started spinning, spinning as the hallway slowly descended into darkness. Her last words before she toppled into his arms were, “My baby...”


CHAPTER TWO (#u8dea871d-e6dd-575e-b9e2-cb78bce5bc28)

NOTHING SEEMED ABNORMAL. Ellie’s blood pressure was a little high, but not outside normal. Her pulse was fine. So were her reflexes and her heartbeat. She’d come to before he’d had a chance to do anything more than a cursory exam and had stopped him.

Right now, she was sitting up, sipping water. Fully alert. Offering no explanation for anything. And he didn’t buy that she was here vacationing. She wasn’t the type to vacation. Maybe travel for work but not for pleasure. Especially to a place like this. So, did she want to take what they’d started to the next level, even though they’d agreed to keep it casual?

The thought of that caused Matt’s heart to skip a beat, even though he wasn’t a next-level kind of guy. The idea of it did intrigue him, though, because he’d had that thought a time or two, then dismissed it as impractical. It couldn’t work. They lived in different worlds. But it had been a nice thought for those few moments.

“You mentioned something about a baby, so I checked your car and...” He shrugged. “No baby.”

“I call my car my baby,” Ellie said, not looking at him.

He didn’t buy that either. But he wasn’t going to pressure her into telling him what she wanted because Ellie was direct. She’d do it in her own good time. “Well, your car’s fine.”

She didn’t respond. Just nodded and kept on sipping.

“So, you said you’re vacationing here?”

Ellie nodded again.

“In Forgeburn, where the population is in negative numbers?” This was getting more and more interesting, and he couldn’t wait until she told him the truth. Which she would because Ellie wasn’t a very good liar. It was showing on her face and in her fidgety hands. Normally, she was straightforward. At least, she had been in Reno. Yet this side of Ellie—it didn’t fit what he knew of her. Which really wasn’t much, come to think of it.

“You said the scenery here was beautiful, so I decided to check it out for myself.”

“During the off-season when the resorts aren’t operating at full capacity? Funny, I would have taken you for someone who’d want all the amenities.”

“Is the little boy yours? Because he looks exactly like you,” she said, obviously trying to avoid what she’d come here to say—or do. “I don’t remember you saying anything about having a child. Or a wife. Do you have a wife, too?”

Was she really here to see him again? The thought crossed his mind but didn’t stay there. Because Ellie had vehemently denied wanting a relationship. Which he’d been glad about. So why now, when he was on leave, had she turned up? And how did she even know he was on leave? Or where he’d be? “I’ve never married. And Lucas... He’s my nephew, and I’m temporarily his legal guardian.”

“Nephew?”

“My sister died, which left her son in my care, temporarily.”

“Why not permanently?”

“I’m in the army. Single. Get transferred a lot because I’m a surgeon who likes to see action, as in battlefield. It’s not a great combination for raising a kid as a single dad.”

“You haven’t retired?” Ellie asked, looking puzzled.

“No. I’m going back as soon as I fix the situation with Lucas. Hopefully, that’ll be inside two months. So, how did you find me? How did you know I was in Forgeburn?”

“Part of my job is research. You were easy to track once I got to the right department in the army, and they connected me to your superior officer, who was very helpful.”

It wasn’t that simple for most people, and for a moment Matt admired her ability to not only find his superior officer but get him to tell her just where, on leave, he was. “But they neglected to tell you I was coming back?”

“They probably figured you’d tell me when I caught up to you.”

“Well, you’ve caught up to me, and I’m wondering why.”

“Like I said, a vacation. Oh, and I’m so sorry about your sister. It can’t have been easy on you or Lucas.”

“It hasn’t been, and I appreciate your sympathy for my sister. She was a good sort who never really got a break in life.” What was Ellie up to? It bothered Matt, not knowing. But what bothered him even more was how glad he was to see her.

* * *

This wasn’t at all what she’d expected, and she wasn’t sure which way to go with it, especially since Matt had made up his mind about what he was going to do. Get rid of Lucas then go back to the army. Which meant everything she’d hoped for when she had been told he’d gone home was up in the air. Ellie had assumed he was out of the army. He wasn’t. And she’d hoped he would be settled enough to want their baby. Again, he wasn’t. Also, he didn’t even want Lucas.

So where did that leave her? Basically, at square one again. Pregnant without a plan. Except she would tell him and still give him the opportunity to raise his child. That was only fair. “Well, I need a room. The hotel down the road is a little...dated. Is there someplace better?”

Matt chuckled. “Like I said, the best places aren’t running at full capacity yet, and the rest of the smaller places—I’m not sure you’d like them. Especially since I know, for a fact, you prefer satin sheets.”

Satin sheets. Yes, she’d loved the feel of them, and the feel of him next to her as she’d enjoyed the soft caress of both the sheets and Matt. “I’m not really concerned about sheets, Matt. I just need some food, then bed...” For her pregnancy first, but also for her because she was tired. She needed to put her feet up, close her eyes and give both her and the baby at least ten hours of down time. Maybe more, if she could.

“If you go down the road, about five miles in the opposite direction, there’s a place called Red Canyon Resort. It has nice rooms, decent amenities. Since it’s early in the season, you shouldn’t have trouble getting a room. But if you do stay...”

He stopped, paused for a moment, and that hesitation of a frown she’d seen on his face when he’d first seen her a little while ago returned. Only this time it didn’t transform into a smile. She hoped he was glad to see her. In fact, she’d thought he was. Now she wasn’t so sure.

“If you do stay, there’s not much to do unless you like hiking or rock climbing,” he finally continued.

“I’ll manage,” she said, scooting to the edge of the exam table, feeling a little more discouraged than she had before. Of course, she’d never been totally optimistic about asking him. That would have been foolish, given the circumstances. But she’d hoped. Right now, though, some of the hope was disappearing—because of Lucas, because of Matt’s military commitments, because he was more rigid than she remembered him being.

“Before you go, I’d really like to get a better look at you. Something caused you to faint, and I don’t know what it was.”

“I was tired from the drive. Hungry. Probably a little dehydrated. Once I get a room, I’ll eat, drink plenty of fluids, get some rest, and I’ll be fine.” Ellie scooted a little more until she was at the edge, then stretched until her feet were on the floor. As soon as she stood, though, she wobbled, and Matt was right there to catch her. Again.

“I think before you go checking into anywhere, I’m going to take you someplace to get something to eat. And drink. Your skin doesn’t pass the pinch test, so I think your biggest problem right now is dehydration. Are you diabetic, by any chance?”

“Nope. Just had a physical yesterday, as it turns out. Blood tests were good.”

“No kidney disease?”

“I’m fine, Matt. My doctor told me I needed to get some rest, which is why I’m here.”

“You live in Reno. You could have driven an hour over to Tahoe and checked into a world-class resort to rest there, instead of driving six hundred miles through the desert to rest here. If rest is what you’re really after.”

“Right now, it is. I don’t suppose there’d be a cab out here I could call. I don’t think I’m going to be able to drive.”

He doubted she’d even make it to her car. “Look, Lucas and I were headed home when you came in. How about you go with us, I’ll make sure you get plenty of liquids, and I’ll fix us a good dinner? Then later we’ll see if you’re in any condition to check into a hotel.”

Matt took Ellie by the arm and steadied her to the floor again, but instead of letting her attempt to walk to his truck he swooped her into his arms and carried her like he had that first morning, when she had been looking out the window and he had been looking at her—with a longing that hadn’t been quenched. He’d swooped her into his arms then, and had watched the satin sheet slither to the floor as he’d laid her naked body down on the bed, and laid his naked body over hers. Thinking about that, even now, caused her to shiver.

“This is very chivalrous of you,” she said, without protest. Ellie still liked being in his arms, still liked the feel of him pressed to her. Matt had the power to knock her completely off track, and she couldn’t let that happen. Couldn’t let the thoughts of how good they had been together seep in. Couldn’t let the thoughts of how nice it was to be in his arms, yet again, seep in either.

“I aim to give the best medical care I can, under the circumstances.” Matt looked over at Lucas, who was occupied with a toddler version of a video game. “You ready to go home?” he asked.

Lucas picked up his video toy and his blanket, and went directly to Matt’s side, the way he always did. Then fell into exact step with Matt, the way he’d only just started doing. “He doesn’t talk yet,” he explained to Ellie as they walked through the parking lot. “He’s lived in some pretty rough circumstances for a while and he’s a little delayed, but he’s bright. Understands everything. Very observant of everything around him. Just not talkative.

“He will, when he has something to say. Guess he just hasn’t had anything to say yet.” She wiggled into the passenger’s seat, while Matt strapped Lucas into the toddler safety seat in the crew cab, and within a minute they were on their way to what Matt had dubbed Matt Casa. She still wasn’t sure what to make of any of this, but one thing was certain—she did like the way he took care of Lucas. Liked it very much. And the way he took care of her went far, far beyond like.

What had she been thinking, taking that ten-hour drive in one long stretch, stopping only a few times for breaks? Well, a little rest, a little water, a good bed under her back for the night, and she’d be fine. But this sure wasn’t the way she’d wanted her first meeting with Matt to go. Seriously, fainting into his arms? Ellie doubted she could have made a more dramatic entrance if she’d tried.

Anyway, telling him about the baby would keep until tomorrow, when she was rested. Yep, back to the plan, but only a modified version of it since she already knew Matt’s intentions. No Lucas, no family commitments. But would that include his own child as well? Maybe something about bringing his own child into the world would mellow him, or cause him to change his mind. Ellie wasn’t counting on it, though. But she wasn’t ruling it out either.

Right now, though, she was going home with Matt. Not part of the plan but so far nothing else had been either. “Since you’re obviously not working as a surgeon out here, what kind of practice do you run?”

“Well, I suppose you could call it a family practice or a general practice. The doc who had it before me called it a cowboy practice, and I think that works. Bottom line, I’ll get to treat everything as long as I’m here.”

As long as he was here. Suddenly, Ellie felt discouraged and disappointed. She’d wanted him to want their baby—it would have been the perfect solution. But there was no solution now. At least, not one she could think of. The thought of that brought tears to her eyes—tears Matt would never see as she turned her head to the window and pretended to be caught up in night-time stars.

“You have two choices. There’s a casita adjoining the house and it has everything you’ll need if you want to sleep there tonight. Or you can stay in one of the guest bedrooms. Your choice.”

“How about the casita, since I don’t feel like climbing stairs? My legs are a little stiff from the drive. Back’s a little achy, too.”

“Does your doctor know what you did?” Matt asked, leading Ellie through the hall to the entry to the casita—a nice little one-bedroom house with a small kitchen and a reasonably large living area. Traditionally, a casita was used by a family member or long-term guest. Or tonight, his two-night fling in Reno.

That was an odd question—out of the blue asking her doctor’s opinion. Did Matt suspect she was pregnant? Quickly, she looked to make sure her belly hadn’t puffed out a few inches and she hadn’t noticed. But that wasn’t the case. Underneath her baggy cotton shirt, it showed. But not with the shirt on. Whatever the case, she approached her answers cautiously because she was too tired and discouraged to address anything other than sleep tonight.

“No. I really don’t have to account to anybody for anything in my life, and that includes my doctor. And before you ask, he would have advised against the drive until I was on vitamins with iron for a few days. Low-grade anemia. Nothing serious. But, like I said, I make my own decisions, and I decided to come to Forgeburn for a holiday.”

“As you’ve said,” Matt stated. He opened the door to the casita then stepped aside. “Well, whatever the case, it should take me about an hour to fix something to eat, so in the meantime I’d suggest you rest. There’s a nice patio outside, and there’s the bedroom...your choice.”

“You really don’t have to do this, Matt. I’m used to taking care of myself. The Red Canyon Resort would be fine.”

“You look run-down. I wouldn’t call that taking care of yourself.”

“I work hard. Travel a lot. My business is growing, and I’ve got some amazing opportunities coming up. Also, like I said, it’s low-grade anemia. All that earns me the right to look run-down. But a good night’s sleep will work wonders.”

He knew better, though, because he was beginning to suspect. “Well, then, dinner’s in an hour. And I don’t remember. Are you a vegetarian? I seem to recall you might be.”

“I am,” she said. “Hope that doesn’t put you to any trouble.”

“Nope. Because all I have here are chicken nuggets and hot dogs, neither of which are very good.”

“Not healthy for Lucas either. Or you, for that matter.” With that, she entered the casita and shut the door behind her, leaving Matt to stand in the hall staring at—nothing. He was staring at nothing. Until a tug on his shirt tail reminded him that Lucas needed to be fed, bathed and put to bed before anything else happened.

* * *

Matt sighed as he sat on the veranda, looking up at the stars. It was a beautiful night. Clear. And the view from this house was stunning. Growing up here, he’d never thought anything about the area was stunning. Not the scenery, the people, the wildlife. Especially not the cramped, rundown house trailers he’d grown up in, where his dad had got the bed, his sister the sofa, and he had been welcome to any spot he could find on the floor that wasn’t cluttered with some sort of rubbish. Trailers in a rubbish lot, parked and ready to go for scrap.

He’d escaped that when he’d been sixteen. Had run away to Las Vegas, promising Janice he’d send for her as soon as he could. Well, that had never happened and now all he had left were bad memories of bad times, and a little boy who served to remind him of how he’d broken his promise to Janice. It wasn’t a very good legacy, but he’d been able to put some of it aside in the army. Or, at least, justify it to himself. Too young. Too inexperienced in the world. Yeah, whatever.

And his promise to himself about never coming back to Forgeburn for any reason—fat lot of good that had done him because here he was. Maybe he deserved to be here, if only to remind him of what he could have become. Or what Janice could have become if he’d kept his promise. “Care for a margarita?” he asked Ellie, who sat down at a patio table across from him.

“I don’t drink,” she said. “Water’s good, though.”

“I seem to recall a couple of mojitos in Reno. But if you don’t drink now...” He shrugged. “Water, vegetarian—that sounds like a mighty healthy lifestyle.”

“We all make our choices, I suppose. My mom’s diabetic and my dad, well, I never knew him because he was a number in a sperm catalogue. Someone with the right qualities to produce a good baby.”

“That’s what your mother told you?”

“We Landers women are very—forthcoming.”

“And it doesn’t bother you, knowing you were...”

“You can say it. I was the product of my mother’s egg and her donor of choice. Now, about that water...”

He was stunned by how casually she took her parentage. It was simply a matter of fact, move on. He didn’t know whether to admire it or pity it. “Well, I did find a few healthy things in the fridge and put a couple of salads together. Lots of pico de gallo, avocado, cilantro, corn, tomatoes—that sort of thing. I didn’t add the jalapeños because I wasn’t sure you could do spicy.”

“I do spicy just fine, as long as it’s not too spicy.”

Matt stood. “Well, let me go get dinner, then.”

“Lucas is in bed?” she asked.

“Asleep before his head hit the pillow.” He took a few steps toward the veranda door then stopped but didn’t turn to face her. “Is it mine?” he asked, quite simply.

“Is what yours?”

“The baby. I’m assuming it’s mine, or otherwise you wouldn’t be here.” Matt blew out a long, anxious breath. “You did come to tell me I’m going to be a father, didn’t you?”

“I did.”

He nodded, his composure perfectly intact, then went into the house, leaving Ellie sitting alone outside. Once he got in, however, his passive demeanor gave way and his knees nearly buckled under him. In fact, it was all he could do to make it from the dining area just inside the door to the kitchen, which wasn’t more than about twenty steps. And with every step he took he fought to push it out of his mind. Willed himself to not think. Forced himself to pick up the salads, pour Ellie a glass of water and make that long trip back outside to her. Not that he’d be able to eat now. Just the thought of food almost caused him to gag.

“I made some tortillas to go along with the salad,” he said, sitting back down, deliberately not looking at her, even though he knew she was staring at him.

“Are you always this cool under pressure?” she asked.

“When you work in a battlefield, you have to be cool.”

“But this isn’t a battlefield, Matt, and you’re not working.”

“No, I’m not. But what I am doing is trying to figure out where this conversation goes from here. It’s a first for me.”

“How about something where you’re very excited about becoming a dad. Or you’re very angry. Either one would be a start.”

“But I’m not excited. Not angry either. I’m just...stunned. That’s big news and I need some time to let it sink in.”

“I’m not here to pressure you,” Ellie said. “But I didn’t think this kind of news should be dealt with over the phone, which is the real reason I’m here. I came to tell you in person. So, any initial thoughts...reactions?”

He poured himself a glass of margarita, took a long drink, then finally looked at her. “Numb. I’m numb. And shocked. And confused.” He took another drink. “So, now it’s your turn. Tell me how you’re feeling.”

Ellie actually laughed. “At first, pretty much the same way you are. I didn’t plan this, Matt. We used protection. I know you mentioned that the condom had slipped but I wasn’t fertile—at least, I shouldn’t have been. I mean, having a little fling in a hotel with a stranger isn’t me. I’ve never done that before. Then to have this happen as a result...” She shook her head. “It certainly changes things, doesn’t it?”

It did, and he wasn’t anywhere close to being ready to think about them. First things first. He had to come to terms with a baby—his baby—coming into this world in what he estimated to be about another twenty-three weeks, give or take. “So, should I ask the obvious? Are you sure it’s mine?”

“You were the first man I’d been involved with in over four years, and there’s been nobody since. But, if you need proof, we could have tests...”

This discussion was too rigid. It was as if they were talking about something impersonal, like what kind of tongue depressors to order. But damn. Matt didn’t know the etiquette or protocol for this kind of situation, if there was such a thing. “No. I don’t need proof.” He trusted her. Even though he didn’t know Ellie that well, something about her made Matt trust her. Maybe because she was—different. Very honest, very open. He’d found that an attractive quality when he’d met her in Reno.

This is what it is, Matt. No strings. Only a diversion for a night. Can you handle that?

It was especially attractive as no one in his life had ever been open or honest with him. Going for a walk, his old man would say. Be right back. Except right back often turned into two or three weeks. There’ll be food on the table tonight, son. I just got paid. Except the only thing on the table was an empty booze bottle.

So, yes, he appreciated her honesty. Now more than before. “I believe you. So, what’s the bottom line here, Ellie?” It occurred to him he didn’t even know her real name. Was Ellie short for Eleanor or Elizabeth or Elena? And did she have a middle name?

“The bottom line is I came to Forgeburn to see if you want to be involved in this. It’s your child, too, and you have every right to be a father in any way you want.”

“You don’t mince words, do you?”

“Like I said about the Landers women... Anyway, I knew after I passed out you’d probably suspect something like this. Especially since we were just a fling. So why bother pretending it’s anything other than what it is? We took the first step together in creating this child, I took the second step in coming here to tell you, so now the next step is yours.”

“As in financial obligation? Because I don’t have a lot. I’m military, not private sector. But I’ll certainly do my part.”

“I was thinking something a little more substantial than that.”

Matt swallowed hard. Something was coming, and it wasn’t going to be good. “Define more substantial.”

“Well, I’m not going to raise this baby. I don’t want to be a single mom the way my mother and grandmother both were. The women in my family lack maternal instinct, and this baby wasn’t in my plan. But I want to make sure he, or she, gets the best possible start in life. After that, I’m going to step aside because my life won’t accommodate a child, and I don’t want to raise a child the way my mother raised me—with tutors and nannies. Which is what would happen, given my involvements. Children need more than that, more than I had, and I don’t have what they need. I’m smart enough to realize that. So, for starters, no abortion. We created this child, and it deserves a chance at life. Even though I’m only eighteen weeks along, I feel...an attachment.”

Ellie paused for a moment, and her eyes went distant. Maybe to a place where she was holding the baby or singing it a lullaby. That’s where Matt’s mind was for that instant. The two of them, huddled together with their baby, looking so happy. But the image disappeared, to be replaced by an image of a battlefield surgery, and the blood, the distant gunshots. “So, if you’ve ruled out abortion...”

“The reason I’m here is to ask you if you want to raise the baby. Take full custody, let me pay you child support, and allow me to step away from it. At least, that was my intention before I knew you were still in the army, so now...”

Matt swallowed hard, again. He knew what was on the other end of that sentence. Because if he didn’t, she’d give the child—his child—up for adoption. How was it that just a few simple weeks ago his life was set? He knew where he wanted to be, and what he wanted to be doing. And now he had not one but two children who were both on the verge of being given up. Damn, what was he going to do about that?


CHAPTER THREE (#u8dea871d-e6dd-575e-b9e2-cb78bce5bc28)

“IT COULD HAVE been worse.” Ellie dropped down on her bed and eased out a sigh. She was tired, and she was a little worried that she’d fainted. But Matt was a good doctor, which made her feel better. At least for now. But in the morning?

Sleep didn’t come as easily as she’d hoped it would, though. For the first half-hour she tossed and turned, and willed every thought out of her mind. Which didn’t work. So she punched the pillow for the fifth or sixth time, and thought about what a nice place this would be to raise a baby. Nice house. Beautiful landscape all around it. And she didn’t mind the isolation. In a way it soothed her, held back the pressures.

Another time, another life, this might have been the kind of place she would have chosen for herself. Just the three of them, or actually four. Taking hikes in the desert together. Going for adventures near some of the old Anasazi pueblo ruins she’d seen on the road coming in. Maybe buying a couple of horses and learning to ride. Such an idyllic life, but that wasn’t her life. Giving Matt the opportunity to raise the baby then going back to her business was. And it was on that note, the one that was always familiar, Ellie finally went to sleep.

* * *

Who to talk to when there was nobody to talk to? That’s what his life boiled down to. Nobody. No old friends here anymore. Anybody Matt would have considered a casual friend was still in the army and somewhere overseas. It was disconcerting, realizing exactly how alone he was, but make no mistake. He was alone here. But, damn, if ever there was a time he needed to talk, it was now.

He thought about Carter Holmes, his old partner back in Kandahar. Top-notch surgeon, maybe even better than Matt, and Matt considered himself pretty damned good. They’d walked the walk for several months, had partnered as well as any two docs could, and had become close—the kind of closeness that could only happen on the battlefield. They’d seen things together, done things together than no person should ever have to see or do. And had come through it.

Except Carter’s coming through hadn’t been all that great. He’d taken some shrapnel, it had been touch and go with life for a while, and had come out with some PTSD working against him.

Lucky for Carter, he’d had a good woman waiting for him back home. That lucky son of a—And that’s where Matt assumed he was now. In her arms, pulling his life back together. Which meant Carter didn’t need to hear about Matt’s problems. Not now. In a way, he envied Carter what he had, though. It was something he couldn’t foresee for himself, but it was...nice. A settled life. Stability. Someone to love who loved him back. Nice dream, but not his dream.

So, once again, nobody to talk to. Normally, it didn’t matter. Right now, in the wee hours, it did.

Blowing out a frustrated breath, Matt took a quick look in at Lucas to make sure he was OK, then went outside to the veranda. Sat down, stared up at the moon. Listened to the far-off howl of a wolf. No one howled back at him either.

* * *

“Pregnancy requires proper nutrition,” Matt said, chopping sweet cubanelle peppers into the skillet.

He looked good. Nice jeans, nice T-shirt. Rugged. But not rested. Her fault, she was sure. Ellie felt bad for that as she hadn’t wanted any of this to be disruptive. Of course, what had she expected? Hi, remember me from a few months back? Well, I’m your baby mama now.

“And my nutrition is good. Nothing to worry about there,” Ellie said, sitting down at the kitchen table, pleased that he was taking care of her. No one ever had unless they had been paid to. This was strange—but nice.

“What does your doctor have to say about that?” Matt asked, turning away from the counter to face her. He wiped his hands on a cloth towel and slung it over his shoulder.

“He’s fine with that part of my pregnancy.”

“Is there anything you haven’t told him yet?” he asked, crossing over to the refrigerator. He pulled out a wire basket of fruit and sat it down. “Because, as your attending physician...”

“He knows what he needs to know,” she snapped, then instantly regretted it. Matt didn’t need her mood—and, yes, she did have mood swings. That was the worst part of pregnancy so far. But to swing on Matt—he was trying to be the good guy here. The one in the white hat. While she was the stranger who had come riding in to interrupt his life. “Look, I know I’m not supposed to have it, but coffee...”

Matt shook his head. “No caffeine. And while I probably don’t have the right to tell you that, remember you’re the one who came to me with this...well, it’s not a problem. Children aren’t problems. But it’s a situation. And because half that situation is mine, I do get some say.”

She liked the forcefulness. Smooth yet firm. And sexy. Not that a woman in her condition had any business looking at sexy anything. Or did they? Ellie honestly didn’t know if those kinds of feelings stirred during pregnancy, and she sure wasn’t going to ask Matt, since he was the one stirring them. Maybe she’d ask Doc Shaffer when she got home. Or just ignore everything.




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