The Millionaire's Marriage Revenge
AMANDA BROWNING
Reclaiming his wife–in the bedroom!Lucas Antonetti was furious when Sofie left him shortly after their honeymoon. But six years later he has tracked her down and can finally have his runaway bride pay the price of her desertion: she's still his wife and she will act as one–both in and out of the bedroom!Lucas doesn't know the real, heartbreaking reason Sofie walked out on their marriage. But it's only a matter of time before he discovers her other secret. . . . And when Lucas finds he has a son, his desire for vengeance is even stronger!
TALL, DARK AND SEXY
The men who never fail—seduction included!
Brooding, successful and arrogant, these men have a dangerous glint in their eye and can sweep any female they desire off her feet. But now there’s only one woman each man wants—and each will use their wealth, power, charm and irresistibly seductive ways to claim her!
Don’t miss any of the titles in this exciting collection:
The Billionaire’s Virgin Bride
Helen Brooks
His Mistress by Marriage
Lee Wilkinson
The British Billionaire Affair
Susanne James
The Millionaire’s Marriage Revenge
Amanda Browning
AMANDA BROWNING still lives in the Essex house where she was born. The third of four children—her sister being her twin—she enjoyed the rough-and-tumble of life with two brothers as much as she enjoyed reading books. Writing came naturally as an outlet for a fertile imagination. The love of books led her to a career in libraries, and being single allowed her to take the leap into writing for a living. Success is still something of a wonder, but it allows her to indulge in hobbies as varied as embroidery and bird-watching.
THE MILLIONAIRE’S MARRIAGE REVENGE
AMANDA BROWNING
~TALL, DARK AND SEXY~
TORONTO • NEW YORK • LONDON
AMSTERDAM • PARIS • SYDNEY • HAMBURG
STOCKHOLM • ATHENS • TOKYO • MILAN • MADRID
PRAGUE • WARSAW • BUDAPEST • AUCKLAND
CONTENTS
PROLOGUE
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
THE MILLIONAIRE’S MARRIAGE REVENGE
PROLOGUE
SOFIE ANTONETTI stirred with a sigh of utter contentment and no inkling that this was the day on which her life would begin to change for ever. A moment later a familiar aroma assailed her nostrils and she sniffed it in. ‘Coffee!’ she exclaimed with a sultry smile and, opening her eyes, looked up into the fascinating blue ones of her husband.
‘I knew there was a good reason why I married you. You make wonderful coffee,’ she teased him, and Lucas grinned back down at her.
‘Only coffee?’ he queried, a wicked gleam appearing in those azure orbs.
Sighing with catlike satisfaction, Sofie ran her hands over his bare chest, delighting in the sensation. Making love with him was the most exciting experience of her life. ‘OK, you make love well too,’ she added with a coquettish grin, then held him off as he leant towards her. ‘But it’s coffee I want right now!’
Laughing, Lucas moved back, allowing her to sit up and modestly draw the sheet up to cover her nakedness. ‘I know what’s under there,’ he pointed out as he handed over the mug.
Her eyes flirted with him over the rim as she took a cautious sip. ‘I know you do, but unwrapping the present is half the fun.’
‘True,’ he agreed, standing up, revealing that he wore only a towel draped low around his hips. He retrieved a large box from the dressing table and his own mug of coffee.
‘What’s that?’ Sofie asked curiously, wondering if it was a late present. They had spent a happy few days opening a mound of presents after they had returned from their month-long honeymoon in the Seychelles, but some were still arriving.
Putting his mug down, Lucas made himself comfortable on the bed. ‘The wedding photos Jack made up for us,’ he informed her, and immediately Sofie set her mug aside and took the box from him. They had received their official photos long ago, but her colleague Jack, a photographer like Sofie, had made up his own album for them. He had declared it to be more quirky than traditional.
‘Let me. I’ve been dying to see them!’ she exclaimed as she tore at the wrapping paper, tossing it aside to lift the lid off the box. Peeling back tissue paper, she revealed a white leather-bound album.
Her photographer’s eye told her Jack had done a fantastic job, but then she forgot all about composition and started to relive the day as each page was turned. It had been perfect, with blue skies and sunshine. Everyone had been happy, but none happier than herself and Lucas. Like all the men, he had been in full morning dress and just looking at him now turned her heart over.
They hadn’t known each other very long—just a matter of a few short months—but they had known from the first that they were meant to be together. They had met whilst both were holidaying in Bali; however, there had only been time for a brief romance before she had to go home. What she hadn’t known then was that Lucas was determined to see her again and had secretly arranged for her to take the official photos of the new London headquarters of the Antonetti Corporation. Lucas’s father owned the company and Lucas was the managing director.
Not that she had been aware of that when she had gone there that first day. She had been so shocked to see him when she’d walked into the room that she had tripped on the corner of the carpet in his office and would have fallen to the floor had he not quickly gathered her into his arms. She had fallen in love at the same time. So deeply in love, she had known there was no cure. Especially when he’d swung her up into his arms with a grin that faded rapidly when he’d looked down at her.
‘I didn’t intend to say this now, but I can’t wait any longer. I love you,’ he had declared in a voice made thick by emotion.
‘I love you too,’ she had whispered back to him, so happy her heart had wings.
Then he had kissed her and, for Sofie, nothing had ever seemed so right. It wasn’t a passionate kiss as kisses went, but it had rocked the world so that nothing could ever be the same again. Nor, she’d decided, when she had come back down to earth, would she ever want it to be. It had been an indescribable feeling, and she had felt it every time she looked at him from that moment on.
A whirlwind romance had led to a huge wedding—way beyond anything she had dreamed of—but they had wanted everyone to be there to share their happiness. Champagne had flowed, hundreds of photos had been taken and they had danced long into the night. The next day they had flown off to the Seychelles for four perfect weeks, before returning to the real world just a few weeks ago.
The photographs brought it all back, like the one of her dancing with her father. She remembered him telling her how beautiful she was, and it brought tears to her eyes now, as it had then. It had been the most wonderful of days.
‘Ouch, there’s my aunt with that awful hat!’ Lucas declared with a wince and Sofie glanced over at the huge group picture he was looking at. It had been taken in the church grounds, which had, thankfully, been extensive. ‘I don’t remember inviting all these people, but we must have. Who’s this? He isn’t on my side, so he must be one of yours,’ he asked her a moment later, and Sofie frowned.
‘Where?’ She tried to see who he meant in a sea of faces.
‘Just there,’ he said, pointing to the figure of a man standing at the end of one of the back rows.
Sofie looked where he was pointing and, the instant she did so, an icy hand grabbed at her heart. No! she cried out in silent despair. Dear God, no! She recognised who it was and all the joy went out of her as an arctic chill pierced her soul. How could he have been there? How could she not have sensed it?
‘Don’t know him?’ Lucas prompted from beside her and she very nearly jumped because she had forgotten he was there, so caught up was she in the horror of the discovery.
Feeling the old shaking starting up inside her, Sofie gathered as much of her composure as she could in order to answer him and not make him aware that anything was wrong. ‘No. No, I don’t. He must be one of the boyfriends or husbands we never got to meet,’ she responded reasonably, and was glad she sounded almost normal. She didn’t feel it, though. The shaking was getting worse and she knew from experience that it would get the better of her soon. She didn’t want Lucas to see that. Didn’t want him to ask questions. She had enough of her own spinning around in her mind.
Glancing at the bedside clock, she gasped. ‘My goodness, look at the time! We’ll be late if we don’t get a move on!’ she added as she threw back the sheet. Scrambling from the bed, she snatched up the robe she had draped over a chair. ‘You have that early meeting with…thingummy. You know who I mean. You’d better use the bathroom. I’ll take a shower down the hall.’
She didn’t give him time to argue the toss, but collected together some clothes and hurried out the door. Safe inside the bathroom in a spare bedroom, she shot the lock, dropped her clothes on the floor and sank back against the door, the shaking now a visible. Sofie pressed a hand over her mouth, but a whimper escaped all the same, and she sank down to the floor, dropping her head on her knees and wrapping her arms tightly around her waist.
Why now? she wanted to know. It had been some years since she had last seen that man. So many years that she had believed herself free of him, but that photograph proved how wrong she had been. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she rocked backwards and forwards. It made her feel physically sick to know that he had been there at the church. Waiting. Watching. Then he had joined on the end of a group photo, just as if he belonged there, knowing that she would see it and realise he was still around.
Her stomach heaved then and she scrambled to the toilet just in time. Afterwards she wiped her face with tissue and sank back weakly against the tiled wall. The shaking had stopped, thankfully, and probably wouldn’t return now the first shock was over.
Her heart ached. She had dared to be happy. Had dared to look forward, not back. To what end? Nothing had changed. Gary Benson was still there. And to think she had once thought him sweet and kind!
She had been nineteen when they’d met, and they had been photography students at the same college. He had seemed normal enough, but before long she had discovered he wasn’t. He was an ill man who was fixated on her. She had ended their relationship after only a few dates because he had smothered her with feelings she didn’t share. He had been convinced she had to love him because he loved her, and so he wouldn’t take no for an answer. He would ring her at all times of the day or night, or turned up at her house and simply stood outside, waiting until she was compelled to come out to tell him to go away.
She had thought he had finally got the message when he’d stopped ringing her, but instead he had started following her. Of course her family had called the police and obtained a restraining order, but that hadn’t stopped him stalking her. Nothing had, because he’d vanished before he could be caught, only to turn up on another day in another place.
Life had been a nightmare for almost two years, and then it had stopped. She had never known why. Over time she had come to believe that he had given up on her and transferred his ‘affections’ to some other poor woman. She was just grateful that her life had returned to normal.
Except normal wasn’t the normal it had once been. The experience had shredded her confidence. She could no longer trust any man, for fear that they would turn into another Gary Benson. She had become reserved and cautious, preferring to concentrate on her work, and it had been a very long time before she had been able to stop looking over her shoulder to check if ‘he’ was there.
Time had been the healer, and the appearance of Lucas in her life. With him she had finally dared to trust again. So much so that she had forgotten about Gary Benson completely—until that photograph had turned up. She knew now that whatever had kept him from her had been temporary. He hadn’t forgotten her. He still thought of her as his.
The presumption angered her as never before. How dared he think he could do this to her again? She wouldn’t allow it! She would tell the police. Even if they had been unable to stop him before, that didn’t mean they would fail her this time. Yet Gary Benson had done nothing except appear in a photograph where he shouldn’t have been. That could hardly be described as stalking.
What should she do? Instinct said she ought to tell Lucas, but he had so much on his mind at the moment, with the planned takeover of another company, that she didn’t want to bother him. She could wait a few days. Just knowing Lucas was here gave her the confidence to do that. He was the exact opposite of Gary Benson—upright, honourable. He had never given her a moment’s doubt, and she was slowly but surely coming to believe he never would.
Yes, that was what she would do. Nevertheless, it sent chills through her to know that Benson must be around, watching her. She knew he was probably biding his time. The photograph was a reminder. He would crawl out of the woodwork when he was ready, and come knocking on her door. However, this time she wasn’t the defenceless young woman of before. She had a strong man to protect her now.
As she thought it, Lucas knocked on the bathroom door. ‘Hey! Have you fallen asleep in there?’
Having jumped a mile, Sofie shot to her feet, hand pressed to her heart. ‘I’m almost ready,’ she lied, stripping off her robe and stepping into the shower. ‘Put some toast on for me.’ She didn’t think she could force even a bite down, but she knew she had to behave as if everything was normal. Just for a little while, until the pressure was off Lucas.
After she had washed and dressed in record time, Sofie went down to the kitchen, where Lucas was sitting at the table eating a bowl of cereal. Her heart turned over, for he was so very precious to her.
Lucas looked up, frowning a little when he saw her standing watching him. ‘What’s up, caro?’
Smiling to hide her worries, she shook her head. ‘Nothing. I was just thinking how much I love you,’ she told him, and he immediately held out his hand invitingly.
‘Come over here and tell me that.’
She went, allowing him to pull her down on to his lap. Combing her hand through his hair, she looked deeply into his eyes. ‘I love you, Lucas. Nothing will ever stop me loving you.’
He smiled. ‘I’m glad you feel that way, because it’s how I feel, too. I couldn’t imagine life without you now. I’d show you, if I didn’t have that meeting in an hour.’
How Sofie wished they could simply go back to bed and shut out the world, but they couldn’t. So she cocked her head flirtatiously and smiled back. ‘Well, you can give me a little something on account, couldn’t you?’
Laughing, he moved so that she was lying back with only his arm to support her. ‘Oh, yes, I could most certainly do that,’ he growled sexily and kissed her.
It was the kind of kiss that raised their temperatures to boiling point and took their breath away at the same time. When Lucas raised his head again, they were both left wanting more.
‘Maybe that wasn’t such a good idea. Remember where we were and we’ll take it from there later,’ he told her in a gruff voice, and Sofie hopped off his lap with a groan.
‘It’s going to be a long day.’
He grinned wolfishly and stood up. ‘Yes, but keep your thoughts on the night,’ he advised as he took his jacket off the back of the chair and slipped it on. ‘I have to go, caro. Think of me toiling away at the mill whilst you’re having fun snapping photos.’
She would. She always did. He was never far from her thoughts.
Sofie walked him to the door of their Hampstead home and waved him off in his car as she did most mornings. However, as she turned away to close the door, a movement across the road caught her eye and she looked back. Immediately her blood ran cold when she recognised the man standing in the shade of a tree. As she stood, transfixed, he started to walk across the road towards her. Though he was the very last person she wanted to talk to, she had to face him. Had to know why he had come back. Descending the steps, she walked to the gate and waited, arms folded defensively.
Gary Benson stopped on the other side. He was a nondescript man, who was already running to seed. ‘Hello, Sofie,’ he greeted her as if only days had passed, not years, and she looked at him coldly.
‘What do you want, Gary?’ she asked abruptly, but her coldness, as ever, went unheeded.
‘You. Only you.’
She knew from before that anger got her nowhere, so she strove to remain calm. ‘You can’t have me. I’m spoken for, remember.’ The broad hint made him laugh delightedly.
‘You saw me in the photo. I hoped you would. You looked lovely in white.’
Sofie drew in an angry breath. ‘You had no right to be there. It was a private wedding.’
Gary did as he always did and ignored what he didn’t want to hear. ‘How could you marry him? You belong to me! You love me!’
She shook her head, heart quailing as she heard the same old words. ‘No, I don’t. I love my husband, not you.’
‘You think you do, but once he’s gone you’ll realise you made a mistake. Things will be better then. You’ll see,’ he informed her complacently.
To Sofie he was making no sense at all. ‘He’s not going anywhere. You’re the one who’s going to go away. Go away and stay away,’ she commanded him, in as firm a voice as she could muster. Gary merely smiled.
‘You know you don’t mean that, Sofie.’
There was no getting through to him, and that made her want to scream with frustration. ‘I do mean it and, if you don’t stop bothering me, I shall call the police.’
He grinned, with the supreme confidence of the sick mind. ‘They’re useless. Besides, I haven’t done anything. You know I’d never hurt you. I adore you. I just want us to be together.’
She laughed in his face. ‘You can’t be serious!’ she derided and for perhaps the first time she really saw him angry.
‘Don’t laugh at me, Sofie. I don’t like people laughing at me!’ he berated her, then turned and stomped away, anger in every step.
Sofie watched him go down the road and around the corner. Her mind was seething. Somehow she had got through his thick skin and hurt him. Maybe that would be enough to make him stay away. A seed of hope started to germinate inside her. Maybe this time she had actually won. Smiling to herself, she ran up the steps and into the house, feeling more hopeful than she had been an hour ago.
That evening Sofie prepared one of Lucas’s favourite meals, as this was to be their last evening together for at least a week. He had to go away on business and she wanted to make tonight special. Whilst the dinner was cooking in the oven, she slipped upstairs to take a long, relaxing bath, leaving her skin soft and delicately scented. Then she changed into cream lounging trousers and a silky vest top. Glancing at her wrist-watch, she saw time was getting on and, humming to herself, she skipped down the stairs and went into the lounge to mix a pair of fancy cocktails.
Lucas arrived home some fifteen minutes later and, as soon as she heard his key in the door, her body began to tingle with anticipation. Picking up a glass in each hand, she walked out into the hall to greet him.
‘Hi,’ she said huskily and, setting the glasses down on the hall table, slipped into his arms before he had even set his briefcase down. Arms around his neck, she hugged him tightly, taking in the scent and feel of him so that she could remember this moment during the long days he would be away.
‘Hi yourself,’ Lucas replied with a laugh, dropping his briefcase and enfolding her in his strong arms. ‘What brought this on?’
Sofie let her head fall back so that she could see him and laughed softly. ‘I missed you, that’s all,’ she told him, pressing her lips to his neck and jaw in a series of tantalisingly brief kisses.
‘I missed you, too, caro,’ he told her, and moved his head just enough to capture her lips with his own.
There was no way Sofie could hold back when she knew they were about to be parted for the first time since they had married. She kissed him with all the depth of love she felt for him, igniting the passion that was never far from the surface. If Lucas was surprised, it didn’t last long. Soon he was swept away, returning her kisses with the equally powerful love he felt for her.
When they drew back a short while later, neither had any interest in eating.
‘I don’t know about you, but I have no appetite for food right now,’ Lucas growled sexily, and Sofie stroked her finger across his lips.
‘I thought you’d be hungry. I have a casserole in the oven,’ she teased, sending him a sultry look from beneath her lashes.
He grinned, but there was no mistaking the heat of passion in his eyes. ‘I am hungry…for you. Let’s go to bed,’ he suggested and, taking her agreement for granted, swept her up in his arms.
‘Let me turn the oven down. We can eat later,’ she countered quickly, and he carried her through to the kitchen so she could turn down the heat, then back out and upstairs to their bedroom.
Once there, clothing was tossed aside carelessly in their eagerness. Desire mounted swiftly as, naked, they tumbled on to the bed and reached for each other. Knowing that tonight was going to have to last her until he got back gave a greater depth of passion to Sofie’s every kiss and caress. She wanted to show him without words just how very much she loved him, and the result was scintillating. All their senses were heightened, so that the room echoed to their mingled gasps and sighs of pleasure.
Nothing else existed in the whole world other than the two of them as they rolled over, limbs tangling, glistening bodies gliding against each other. Hot breath mingled as increasingly erotic kisses were exchanged, driving their senses wild and tightening the coils of desire inside them. The conflagration was burning too hot and bright to last long. Driven by a powerful need, their bodies came together, fitting perfectly, moving as one towards the desired moment of release. It came in a white-hot explosion that made them both cry out as they hurtled into that realm of space known only to lovers.
Aeons later, their hearts began to slow their frantic beating and reality returned once more. Sofie turned into Lucas’s arms, holding him close. This week was going to feel like for ever.
Suddenly heartsick, she snuggled up to him and closed her eyes. ‘I wish you didn’t have to go away,’ she sighed, and he pressed a kiss to the top of her head.
‘I’d rather stay here, too, but it’s only a week. It will go in a flash. We’ll have a whole lifetime together after that.’
His words comforted her like nothing else. ‘Hmm, a whole lifetime…sounds good,’ she murmured, yawning. A week was nothing. She was just being silly.
She hadn’t intended to sleep, but their lovemaking and her busy day got the better of her. Before she knew it, she was fast asleep. A moment later, Lucas joined her.
For the next couple of days Sofie kept herself busy with work. The photographer she worked for was fully booked and consequently gave her plenty to do. She missed Lucas terribly and couldn’t wait for his nightly telephone calls. The sound of his voice made her feel less lonely, even if it couldn’t fill the gap in their bed at night.
When Wednesday came along, she cheered herself up by telling herself it was only a couple of days until Lucas returned home—a feeling that vanished when he rang that evening.
‘Sorry, caro, but I’m going to have to stay a few days longer. Things aren’t quite going to plan,’ he told her, and her heart sank to her boots.
‘Oh, Lucas, no!’ she exclaimed, emotional tears welling behind her eyes.
‘I know, I know,’ he soothed. ‘It can’t be helped. I’ve worked too hard on this to let it fall apart now. You understand, don’t you?’
Of course she did, but it didn’t make her feel any better. ‘Yes, I understand,’ she replied glumly, then winced as a feminine squeal echoed down the line, followed by the distinct sound of giggling. ‘What’s going on?’ she asked sharply, sitting up, frowning.
‘Oh, that’s just some guys fooling around. We’re taking a break and I’m by the pool. Look, amore, I don’t have much time. Just remember I love you and I’ll be home as soon as I possibly can. OK?’
‘OK, Lucas. Love you,’ she responded, trying to sound cheerful, but her heart was heavy when she set the receiver back down. A few more days sounded like a jail sentence. Not that there was anything she could do about it. She just had to get through it.
She slept badly that night and was consequently late getting up. Because she had a photo session at a client’s house, she picked up the mail as she was leaving the house and stuffed it in her bag. She only discovered it later in the day, when she bought a sandwich for lunch and took it to a nearby park to eat it in peace.
Examining the small collection of envelopes, she recognised the usual bills and junk mail, but there was a large brown envelope at the bottom which had nothing but her name and address typed on it. Curious, she tore it open and reached inside for the contents. They were face down, but it was clear from the markings that what she held were photographs. Wondering who could be sending them to her, and thinking it might be more wedding photos a relative had decided to pass on, she turned them over.
A Post-it note was stuck to the front, with a brief message:
Do you know what your husband gets up to while he’s away? Take a look at these.
Her stomach fell away, leaving her feeling as if she were poised at the edge of a precipice. Trembling fingers pulled the note away, revealing the top photograph, and she gasped as shock hit her like a sledgehammer. There was Lucas, with his arms around a woman she had never seen before. They were laughing and gazing into each other’s eyes as if…
‘No!’ The cry left her lips though Sofie was unaware of saying anything. She flipped the photo up, revealing the next, and her heart cried out in pain, for this time they were kissing.
Shaking her head as if to deny what she was seeing, Sofie looked at each in turn, and in every one it was the same woman, even if the background was different. Anyone could see that the couple were obviously in the midst of a passionate affair. She closed her eyes, trying not to see them, but her brain just replayed each one over and over.
Feeling sick, she forced herself to keep calm. It couldn’t be true. Lucas couldn’t be having an affair! Yet she had the evidence in her hands. But where had they come from? Who had sent them? She searched the envelope, but there was nothing inside, only the stark note. Someone had wanted her to know the truth, but wished to remain anonymous.
It left a nasty taste in her mouth. That person need not be a friend, which gave Sofie a moment’s pause. Despite what she saw, was it true? Could there be some other plausible explanation? That fragile framework of trust she had built since meeting Lucas made her want to believe there was an answer, and the only way to know was to ask him.
Lucas wouldn’t lie to her. She trusted him, and trust was everything. Reaching into her bag for her mobile phone, she flipped it open and groaned when she realised she had forgotten to charge it. There had to be a phone box nearby, so she shoved everything piecemeal into her bag and hurried off to find one. When she did, it was occupied, and she had to wait a nerve-racking ten minutes before she could step inside and close the door.
She didn’t care that it would be the middle of the night where Lucas was, but dialled the number of the hotel he was staying at. There was a long wait whilst the call was put through to his room, but finally it was answered. She was taking in a deep breath when a voice spoke.
‘Hello? This had better be important.’ A distinctly feminine disgruntled voice echoed in Sofie’s ear.
Her heart stopped, and she frowned. ‘Sorry. They were supposed to be putting me through to Lucas Antonetti’s room. There must have been a mistake,’ she began to apologise.
‘There’s no mistake, honey. This is Lucas’s room. Just you hold on and I’ll get him for you.’ Stunned, Sofie could only listen to the noises at the other end of the line. ‘Hey, Lucas, you gorgeous hunk of man. Get out of bed. There’s a phone call for you!’
Sofie gasped in disbelief as her whole world began to shatter around her. She didn’t need to wait to hear more, but slammed down the receiver and tumbled out of the phone box in a state of near devastation. The only thoughts going around her mind were that the photos hadn’t lied. It was all true. All most horribly true!
Looking around her, everything felt alien and she just wanted to get away. Go home and wait for the pain to go away. She flagged down a passing taxi and sank into the seat, dropping her head in her hands. How could Lucas do this to her? She had trusted him! It had taken every ounce of courage she had possessed to trust him and put her faith in their future together, and now it was gone. Shattered into a million irretrievable pieces.
Dear God, it was Gary Benson all over again. He had turned her life into a nightmare, and now Lucas had betrayed her. She couldn’t take it again. She just couldn’t take it!
That same thought was in her mind when she got home. Only it didn’t feel like home any more. It was a place of deception and treachery and she couldn’t spend another night in it. As she looked round the lounge she had spent so many happy hours in, she knew that she was going to leave Lucas. However much she loved him, the trust was gone. If she stayed, she would never trust a thing he said or did, and that would destroy her, so she had to go.
Not just go, but vanish completely, so that she would never see him again. It was the only way, for her love for him might undermine her resolve if she saw him. It might tempt her to stay and try to live with the doubts. No, she must go and never look back. The prospect almost made her break down, but she knew she had to be strong. Later she could fall apart. When it was done. When it was all over.
It was that strength of purpose which made it possible for her to pick up the phone and call her parents. She couldn’t leave without explaining why. After a few rings, her mother answered.
‘Hi, Mum. I…I just wanted to tell you not to be worried if you don’t hear from me for a while,’ she said, her voice catching as she worked hard to keep her emotions under control.
Her mother instantly sensed there was something wrong. ‘Why? What is it, Sofie? What’s happened?’
Sofie drew in a shaky breath. ‘I’m leaving Lucas, Mum,’ she declared tautly, and heard her mother gasp.
‘Leaving Lucas? But why? What’s gone wrong? I thought you were so happy.’ Her mother sounded almost as distraught as Sofie felt.
‘I can’t explain now. Just know that I have to do this. I can’t…’ Her voice broke and she had to bite her lip hard. ‘I don’t know when I’ll see you again, but I’ll write to you.’
‘Oh, Sofie, don’t do anything hasty. Come and talk to us. Perhaps we can help.’
Sofie blinked back scalding tears. ‘Nobody can help. I’m sorry, Mum. I love you both. Don’t worry about me. Goodbye,’ she ended on a broken whisper and set the phone down before her mother could say anything else.
Almost immediately the phone started ringing again, but she ignored it. Going up to the bedroom, she took two large cases from the dressing room and packed everything that she intended to take with her. She hefted them downstairs, leaving them in the hall whilst she went to the desk in the lounge and wrote the hardest letter she had ever had to write. She simply told Lucas she was leaving and that he shouldn’t waste his time looking for her. She wasn’t coming back. Then she sealed it in an envelope, wrote his name on the outside and propped it up against the clock on the mantelpiece.
Finally she rang for a taxi and, whilst the driver stowed her cases, she locked the front door and dropped the keys back through the letterbox. As she went down the steps for the last time, she walked away from all her hopes and dreams.
‘Do you know which station has trains going north?’ she asked the driver.
‘Depends which part of the north you want, love,’ he told her and she shrugged.
‘Just take me to the closest one,’ she told him and sat back, closing her eyes.
It was over. She had done what she had to do. Now she had to find a way to live the rest of her life without Lucas.
CHAPTER ONE
‘WELL, I’m glad I don’t have to tell him that!’ Sofie exclaimed with a laugh as she turned to gather a fresh glass of champagne from the tray of a passing waiter.
Everything was running smoothly, just as she had planned. When her boss had put forward the idea of a photographic competition, she had agreed enthusiastically, never expecting to have the job of arranging and running it. However, it had been a challenge, and she was always prepared to stretch herself. That she would also have to host the award ceremony and help give out the prizes was not what she’d wanted. Drawing attention to herself was still something she preferred not to do. Staying out of the limelight was vital. However, as this was only a local competition, with no chance of a report getting into anything other than local newspapers, she had felt safe in agreeing to do it.
Life had been far from easy these past few years. She had scrimped and saved, trying to keep her head above water by doing any job that turned up. In the end, though, circumstances had forced her to apply for assistance under a new name, and life had improved gradually. Now she had a steady job and a small rented cottage to live in. Even though she had never seen anyone from her past life, it was hard to make herself stop looking over her shoulder all the time. She had come almost as far north as it was possible to go and still be in the same country. Paying cash for everything, she had left no paper trail behind her. Sofie Antonetti had vanished off the face of the earth that day six years ago, and in her place was Sofie Talbot, photographer’s assistant, who kept herself very much to herself. If she was lonely, she never let on. If she was sad, only her pillow knew.
With a satisfied sigh she ran her eye around the room, checking that nothing had gone awry. The action took her away from the group she was chatting to and brought the doorway of the room into her line of sight—just in time to see the tall figure of a man walk in and pause to survey his surroundings. Shock tore through her with all the destructive force of an earthquake, because this was not just any man. She recognised him instantly. Would know him if a hundred years had passed, for he was locked in her heart and would always remain there.
It was Lucas. He had found her.
She couldn’t move in those first few seconds, not even a muscle. This was the day she had dreaded for so long, and yet had longed for in the very depths of her soul. To see him again filled her with unbridled joy, as she had come to think she never would look upon his beloved face again. Oh, she had daydreamed about walking into him in a crowd, or sheltering from a summer storm under a tree and finding him doing the same, but without any real hope of it happening. Yet now it had.
The first shock was passing and pent-up emotion rose to choke her throat and bring the smart of tears to her eyes. He hadn’t seen her yet and she took advantage of it.
Through a crystal blur, she ate him up like a woman who had wandered hungrily in a wasteland and had suddenly found food. She had loved this man beyond reason and doubt from the first moment they had met. There had always been a certain something about him which had made her senses leap in a way quite out of the ordinary for her. No other man had been able to hold a candle to what she had experienced with Lucas. This awareness had hit her like the proverbial ton of bricks. All her senses had come to attention, and she had been so attuned to him it had been uncanny. So much so that, whenever he had entered the same room as herself, she had felt it immediately. Like electricity charging up the air.
She could feel it now, as she stared at him. He hadn’t changed. His hair was the same blue-black she remembered, though he must be thirty-six now. In one of the Italian designer suits he had always preferred, a glass of champagne in one hand and the other casually slipped into his trouser pocket, he was the epitome of a man in control of himself and the world he lived in. It was an air of savoir-faire which she had always found immensely attractive.
Was there any surprise then that she had fallen headlong in love with him and married him, all in a whirlwind matter of months? She would do it again in an instant—except for one huge problem. Whilst she still loved him, and always would, she knew in her heart that he could no longer love her.
That thought brought her back to the reality of the present, and the fact that she was standing staring at a man who would never be as pleased to see her as she was to see him. It galvanised her into action and she turned away hastily, hoping he hadn’t seen her. What had she been thinking of, staring at him so longingly? This wasn’t a happy ending, rather the start of what could turn out to be another nightmare.
Of course, that thought turned her stomach over and she sipped at her champagne as a much needed bolster to her nerve. Think, she ordered herself. Be logical. Because she was hiding from him, that didn’t mean he had found her. This could all be pure coincidence. Why would he look for her here, of all places? She wasn’t even using the name he knew her by. Wasn’t it more likely that he had business in the area? He could even be staying in this very hotel and had looked in at the function out of pure curiosity.
That had to be it, she decided on a wobbly sigh. Not that it helped her very much if he didn’t leave in the next half hour. If he were still here at nine, then there was no way he could be prevented from seeing her. Nine o’clock was the designated time for the presentation of awards to the winners of the photography competition, a task she had been looking forward to.
Photography was her joy and getting back into it, even in such a small way, had gone a long way to giving her a sense of purpose. Life had started to have meaning again, not just days to be got through without the love and support of the man she loved. She had been happy. However, that happiness could be in danger if Lucas didn’t leave soon. If he saw her, there would be the inevitable confrontation, and Sofie feared that the most, because even though she had left Lucas with good reason she knew he would have been furious that she had just disappeared, and there were things she had never told him, the biggest of which would condemn her in his eyes for ever.
With nowhere to hide, all Sofie could do for the moment was leave the room and lose herself in the crowds swelling the other reception rooms. Soon she was caught up in the laughing, chatting groups and was able to breathe a little more easily. Leastways she did until she felt a subtle change in the air and knew that Lucas had entered the room. She tensed immediately and prayed he would move on—but then the back of her neck started to prickle and she knew those endlessly fascinating blue eyes were upon her.
She turned slowly, compelled by a force too strong to deny, her heart thumping sickeningly in her chest. She felt as if she were moving in slow motion, and indeed the noise around her faded into a drone as she saw Lucas standing at the back of the room, eyes fixed on her intently. A sense of inevitability sank over her and her eyelashes slowly fluttered down then up again.
Sofie must have stopped breathing, though she was unaware of it, for now she drew in a long ragged breath. After so long, to finally meet his eyes again was stunning and the connection shot across the room between them like a shaft of lightning. She couldn’t see his expression; she only knew the experience was as powerful as it had ever been.
She waited for him to come towards her, but he didn’t, and confusion set in. As if he sensed it, a faint smile curved his lips and Sofie hurriedly turned away, brain desperately searching for a reason for his actions. Why hadn’t he come and spoken to her? It was what she had expected. Then, of course, she understood. He was biding his time. If and when they talked, it would be on his terms. It was a subtle reminder of the circumstances of her leaving him. That had been under her control, this was to be under his.
A fact she soon confirmed by slowly making her way through one room and then another. Even though her sensitive radar could sense when he followed, she glanced over her shoulder to check. It was clear. When she moved, he moved, but always maintained the same distance between them. He was playing cat and mouse with her, and she was no cartoon character who could turn the tables on him. All she knew was that she couldn’t allow him to see just how anxious he was making her.
‘There you are! I lost you for a moment.’
Sofie spun round, a slightly guilty smile springing to her lips at the sight of David Lacey, her boss and the instigator of the evening. She had forgotten all about him the instant she’d laid eyes on Lucas. ‘I…er…just came in here to get a fresh drink,’ she lied uncomfortably, waggling her glass at him.
‘That’s funny, I thought I was doing that,’ David remarked, holding up two glasses, but Sofie wasn’t listening to him, her eyes had automatically started to search for Lucas again. She found him not too far away, watching the pair of them intently. ‘And the dog ran away with the ham bone,’ David ended dryly, which was where she tuned in again.
Her nerves jumping like fleas, she half-turned away from Lucas and beamed up at her boss. ‘Hmm? I’m sorry, what did you say?’
Not surprisingly, David frowned. ‘Forget it, it wasn’t important. Are you all right, Sofie?’ he asked in concern, then glanced at her glass. ‘How many of those have you had?’ He set the spare glass he had brought with him on a passing tray.
Sofie took a steadying breath, telling herself to get a grip. The last thing she needed was for David to ask awkward questions. ‘Sorry. It’s speech time soon and I’m a tad distracted.’ Hell’s bells, what an understatement that was, and so far from the truth! Knowing that Lucas was watching her every move was hardly conducive to calm. ‘Don’t worry, this is only my second glass.’ She never drank much and had abandoned the first glass because it had become warm and lost its fizz.
‘I see everybody who is anybody has turned out for this shindig,’ David remarked, glancing round the room. ‘Everywhere I look there’s a familiar face. Although having said that, there is one person I don’t know. Have you any idea who the man in the suit by the door is?’
Sofie’s heart gave a wild kick, for she could guess who he meant. ‘What man?’ she asked gruffly, wondering what to do, because if she pleaded ignorance and then Lucas decided to come over, she would be caught out in a lie.
‘It doesn’t matter. He’s gone,’ David replied, not realising how that would affect her.
Sofie turned, her eyes flying to the spot where she had last seen Lucas, and her spirits sank like a stone when she discovered he had moved away. As much as she had dreaded having a confrontation with him, her worst fear was that he would go and she would never see him again!
With something approaching anxiety her eyes scanned the room, searching for him and failed. Completely distraught, she couldn’t believe he had gone without making contact, when he had spent the whole evening watching her. Disappointment weighed heavily on her and she couldn’t explain why. She knew the best thing was for him to go. They couldn’t go back, and had no future. Let him be gone, the logical part of her brain told her. Let this be the end of it. Sadly, her shattered heart would always crave more.
Which was why, uncharacteristically, she took a large gulp of champagne and almost emptied the glass. Seeing it, David’s brows rose and he plucked the glass from her fingers.
‘Steady on! You’ll get tipsy doing that on an empty stomach. Wait here. I’ll go get us something to eat,’ he decided, setting their glasses aside, and would have gone off in search of the buffet had she not placed a staying hand on his arm.
‘No, don’t. I’m fine, really,’ she lied bravely, as her nerves were a mess and she was as far from fine as it was possible to get. ‘It’s almost time for my speech anyway.’
It was a relief when she had to go up and help present the awards. Making small talk with David as if nothing was the matter had been excruciatingly difficult. The last thing she felt like doing was smiling for the cameras, but it was all part of the job and she formed her lips into as near normal a smile as possible.
Casually glancing around the sea of faces below them, her heart leapt when her eyes found Lucas once more. So he hadn’t gone! As if he knew exactly what she had been thinking, he raised his glass in silent salute and her thoughts scattered to the four winds as she realised nothing was over yet.
Unfortunately she lost sight of him again when she and the winners descended to the floor and were surrounded by admiring friends and family. It took time extricating herself from everyone who wanted to speak to her, but as soon as she was alone Sofie searched the room again, with the same negative result as earlier. Tired of playing games that had her emotions see-sawing wildly, and knowing she wasn’t in the right frame of mind to make small talk with anyone right then, she sought for a means of escape and found it beyond the door to the terrace.
Outside in the warm summer night air, she made her way to the parapet and leaned on it, looking out over the city. The light was fading and all around the city began to twinkle. She had never regretted moving north, only the circumstances that had made it necessary. She had done a good job of vanishing off the map and couldn’t have chosen a better place to make a fresh start, even though she had been terrified that Lucas would find her.
When time passed and he hadn’t discovered her hiding place, she had started to think she was safe, and look what had happened—Lucas had come back into her life. The very thing she had been afraid of for so long, because, however much her heart wanted to see him, her brain knew it wasn’t safe to do so. Now, more than ever. It had gone beyond the reason for her leaving. There were things he didn’t know and, though he had a right to know them, she feared what he would do if he found out.
Life, she had learned years ago, could be cruel, causing people to make choices they shouldn’t have to make. It had broken her heart then and she had barely survived. She didn’t think she would be so lucky if fate played its hand a second time.
Just then a soft breeze blew her shoulder-length brown hair across her face and at the same time a tingle of awareness ran down her spine. She spun round, her breath hitching in her throat as she saw the source of her turmoil stroll out of the nearby shadows.
Up close he was still the handsomest man she had ever seen. A shaft of light from the windows highlighted the almost blue-black of his hair and the intense blue of his eyes. She could remember those eyes smiling at her with such love in them it had taken her breath away. Now, though, it was hard to read what he was thinking. He had closed himself off from her.
Lucas stopped a few feet away, a faintly mocking smile hovering around the corners of his mouth, whilst his eyes ranged over her. Once upon a time such a glance would have sent delicious tingles along her nerve-endings as they passed, but there was no warmth in his eyes surveying of her now. It left her feeling bereft, a faint hope dying before she was even aware of its existence. She was inordinately glad when he finally held her gaze.
‘What took you so long?’ he said huskily, the rich tone of his voice delighting her senses as it always had. However, the question made her jump.
‘L-long? I…er…’ she had to cough to clear a dry throat. ‘I don’t understand,’ she returned in genuine confusion, her emotions making it hard for her brain to work. Facing the man she loved six years after walking out on him was not a situation she had ever planned for. Quite the opposite.
Lucas shook his head disappointedly. ‘Of course you do. You’ve been watching me all evening, and I’ve enjoyed watching you watch me. That’s why I knew when you couldn’t see me you’d come in search of me.’
Sofie caught her breath, her pulse racing anxiously with her inner turmoil. ‘That wasn’t the reason. It was hot and I needed…That is…’ Realising she was almost babbling, she closed her eyes and drew in some steadying air. ‘I thought you were gone.’
‘Hoped, you mean,’ Lucas returned silkily, and she licked her lips nervously to moisten them.
‘Yes…no…w-whatever!’ she responded jerkily, then made an effort to get a grip. ‘Why would I want to see you? We have nothing to say to each other,’ she told him more firmly, because denial was all the defence she had. She needed him to walk away from her, for should he find out about her sin, he would never forgive her. In his place, neither would she.
‘On the contrary, I think you and I have one hell of a lot to say to one another, Mrs Antonetti!’ he shot back, and there was no doubting the underlying edge of anger in the coldness of his tone.
Sofie flinched, knowing he had a right to be angry. More than he knew. ‘Lucas…’ she responded helplessly, and something wild flashed in his eyes.
‘Ah, Lucas! Do you know that the sound of my name on your lips once used to send me up in flames?’ he challenged sarcastically and, because she did remember, it drove a knife into her heart.
‘Please…’ she breathed achingly, knowing she had enraged him by leaving the way she had. She should have stayed and confronted him with the proof of his treachery, but it hardly mattered now. That he had betrayed her was irrelevant, and her fears that he would have lied his way out of it and somehow convinced her to stay. She was playing for higher stakes, and the cost of losing didn’t bear thinking about.
Lucas stepped closer, eyes glittering. ‘You used to say that, too, when you begged me to make love to you. Do you remember that, Sofie? Do you remember any of it?’
Dear Lord, she remembered everything. Nothing was forgotten. None of the happiness, none of the heartache. However much she might want to throw his words back in his face, she had to be careful. She had too much to lose now.
‘Th-there’s no point in remembering. I put the past behind me.’ It was a lie. Not a day went by when she didn’t remember and long for what was lost.
A sneer curved the lips she had once craved to kiss. ‘How convenient. The trouble is, the past has a habit of rearing up and biting you when you least expect it. As it did with me, when I walked into the hotel yesterday and saw your picture advertising this event.’
Her nerves jolted as she heard that. ‘Then you weren’t…’ She cut the question off, aware of what it would reveal, but Lucas was far too astute to miss it.
‘Weren’t looking for you? No, I’m here on business, so you can imagine my shock. My errant wife, whom I had sought from one end of the country to the other, was hiding in plain sight,’ Lucas explained with a mocking laugh.
Her chin came up. ‘I wasn’t hiding,’ she denied, and it had been true once. She hadn’t started out hiding from Lucas, she just hadn’t wanted to see him again, knowing that her love for him made her weak. However, circumstances had changed, and she had ended up hiding from him for totally different reasons.
One eyebrow lifted in a gesture she remembered so well it tweaked her heartstrings. ‘Then why the change of name, if not because you didn’t want me to find you?’
Sofie’s stomach lurched anxiously. She had never found it easy to lie but, with things the way they were, she had to find some way to make him go away and leave her alone. ‘Because…Because…’ Invention failed her. Oh, God, what could she say? Her mind flailed around seeking inspiration and locked on to the first it could find. ‘I was th-thinking of, um…opening my own studio,’ she told him, her hands gesturing uneasily. ‘At one time,’ she added, hoping he would accept that, but the scoffing look he sent her spoke of her failure.
‘I might have believed it had your name been Smith or Brown, but my name sounds professional to me. So tell me, amore, why didn’t you call yourself Sofie Antonetti? You were entitled to, as my wife.’
‘Stop calling me that!’ she snapped, nerves so ragged she could scream.
Her response brought a sardonic curl to his lips. ‘Why? It’s who you are,’ he told her mockingly. ‘SofieAntonetti, my wife.’
Her lips parted on a faint gasp, whilst shock slammed her again. Surely he couldn’t mean…‘But…I told you not to try and find me, to forget me. I thought…’
Lucas tipped his head on one side. ‘That I would divorce you. Think again, Mrs Antonetti. There was no way on this earth that I was going to walk away from you without an explanation. So, that begs the question, why didn’t you divorce me? Now, what could be the reason for that? Ah, yes, because if you did I would find out where you were, and you didn’t want that, did you?’ he finished curtly.
Sofie swallowed hard. ‘I deserted you. Right was on your side,’ she pointed out huskily.
A dark look entered his eyes. ‘You’re darn right it was. You said you loved me. Couldn’t wait to marry me. Then, a few months after the wedding, you vanish into thin air. Did you honestly think I would put that all down to experience and forget you? Dream on, Sofie.’
She should have known that a man who felt as strongly as Lucas wouldn’t let anything go. He didn’t know she knew about his liaison. All he knew was that she had left him and she couldn’t put him right. Not now. Not ever. ‘I’m sorry. I made a mistake.’
His laugh was hollow. ‘You certainly did. Walking out on me was the wrong thing to do. You owe me, Sofie, and, now that I’ve found you, I fully intend to collect.’
Sofie stared at him, knowing that this was one of the reasons she had hidden herself away. She had always known he was a passionate man and that his anger would be just as tempestuous as the love he’d claimed to feel for her. Maybe he had loved her, but it hadn’t stopped him having an affair. Yet, however much he wanted answers, there were none she could give him, as she dared not let him guess her secret for fear of what he might do.
So she had to hold back her emotions and be as firm in her resolve as she had been when she’d left him. ‘There’s nothing to collect. If I hurt you, I’m sorry, but what I did was for the best. I’ll say it again. Forget you ever met me, Lucas. We were never meant to be together. Have your meeting and go home. Please.’
Lucas laughed at her. ‘Just because you were once able to get me to do anything you asked, don’t imagine you still can. I shall stay here until all my business is settled.’
It wasn’t what she wanted to hear and it set her nerves twitching again. ‘Fine. Stay, but don’t bother me. You’re not wanted, Lucas,’ she told him bluntly, thinking there was nothing else she could do.
Blue eyes narrowed on her. ‘Why? Because you’ve replaced me? Was that him, the man I saw you with? What did you do with him? Send him off on an errand and then abandon him?’
It was close enough to the truth to be uncomfortable, because she hadn’t given him a thought since coming out here. ‘David’s used to me. He won’t mind.’ At least she hoped he wouldn’t.
One eyebrow quirked. ‘Poor man, to be dismissed so casually. Perhaps I ought to tell him he’s dating a married woman.’
Not wanting him to speak to anyone about her, Sofie had to set the record straight. ‘You don’t have to worry about David, he’s my boss,’ she corrected hastily.
‘That had better be true, amore. I wouldn’t want you to end this first meeting on a lie,’ he advised her softly, staring down into her widened eyes.
‘First and last meeting,’ she corrected firmly, standing her ground, though her legs were beginning to wobble badly.
‘This isn’t over. You will be seeing me again. Now, much as I would prefer to stay and continue this fascinating conversation with you, I have a telephone conference to take,’ he informed her, stepping back as he did so.
Sofie straightened up, her heart suddenly racing again. ‘Please stay away from me, Lucas!’ she called after him as he moved off.
‘Can’t be done, I’m afraid. Not now I’ve finally found you again,’ he refused coldly, and was gone before she could utter another word.
The strength went out of her legs the instant he passed from view and Sofie sank back against the wall with a shaky sigh. This couldn’t be happening! After all she had been through, how could life turn on her this way? Because the fates had decided to give Lucas a throw of the dice. The scales had to be balanced. Only the fates didn’t know that there was more at stake than her having to explain her actions six years ago. Now she had even more to lose, and the possibility was absolutely terrifying.
‘You’re getting to be harder to keep track of than my three-year-old niece!’ David declared from directly in front of her, making her jump because she hadn’t noticed his approach.
Guilt washed over her for having abandoned him twice tonight, and she pulled herself together in a hurry. ‘I’m sorry, David. I popped outside for some air.’
‘So I saw,’ he said dryly, bringing faint colour to her cheeks. ‘That was the man in the suit I saw earlier. Who is he?’
Sofie knew that if she denied all knowledge she would only look foolish later if the lie was discovered, so she told the truth—so far as it went. ‘His name is Lucas Antonetti. He’s here on business,’ she revealed, knowing David could find that much out by asking at the desk.
He frowned. ‘Antonetti? Now, why does that name ring a bell, I wonder?’
Sofie’s stomach gave an unwelcome jolt, as she hadn’t considered David would have heard of Lucas. ‘Perhaps he’s been in the papers,’ she proffered, hoping to end further speculation.
‘Probably,’ David agreed easily. ‘Anyway, when are you going to see him again?’
She couldn’t help tensing at the simple question. ‘I’m not,’ she denied instantly, much to David’s surprise. ‘What made you ask such a silly question?’ she added, with a nervous laugh that fooled neither of them.
‘Because I saw him watching you whilst you were on the stage, and if ever a man was interested in a woman, he was.’
Sofie had to stifle the urge to laugh wildly. ‘You’re mistaken.’
Deaf to the less than subtle hint, David shook his head. ‘I think not. He couldn’t take his eyes off you!’
That was about as much as Sofie could take, and she straightened, glad to feel her legs were now supporting her. ‘We were simply talking. I have absolutely no intention of meeting him again!’ she insisted sharply and David blinked in surprise.
‘Sorry. I just thought…Well, never mind. I’ll shut up now,’ he apologised, the words tumbling all over themselves, leaving Sofie feeling wretched.
‘I’m sorry for jumping down your throat like that,’ she apologised, too, feeling tiredness wash over her. ‘Would you mind if I went home now, David? I’m exhausted.’
‘Of course, Sofie. You poor thing, you look totally drained,’ he declared in some concern. ‘You made everything look so easy, I didn’t realise how tired you must be. You did a grand job tonight and I’m proud of you,’ he added as he took her arm through his to escort her out.
At that time of night it wasn’t a long journey from the hotel to her cottage. David saw her to the door, then left with a friendly wave. Letting herself in, Sofie closed the door gently behind her. She paused momentarily, looking up the stairs, then walked into the sitting room where a young woman glanced up from the book she was reading and smiled.
‘Hi, Annie, is everything OK?’ Sofie enquired, watching the woman gather up her things, getting ready to leave.
‘Not a peep all evening,’ Annie reported, taking the money Sofie offered her. ‘Just give us a bell when you need us again.’
‘I will. Thank you, Annie,’ Sofie promised, seeing the girl out and watching whilst she walked to the next cottage and opened the front door. Then Sofie climbed the stairs and went to a door which stood slightly ajar.
Pushing it open carefully, she slipped inside and walked over to the bed, looking down at the small figure sleeping there. Her heart tightened painfully, because her dark-haired little angel was the spitting image of his father—Lucas. This was the secret she so feared would be discovered. If Lucas was bent on revenge for the way she had walked out on him, what would he do if he ever discovered she had withheld the knowledge that he had a son?
Now her heart quailed, for the possibilities were terrifying, and her hand was trembling as she ran it gently over Tom’s hair. He sighed heavily and she waited until she was sure he was still asleep before kissing his forehead and silently leaving the room again. Outside she steadied herself with a hand on the wall. What was she going to do? Lucas had betrayed her, so why should she be the one to suffer more? He was the one in the wrong, and she had been justified in leaving him. Why should there be more?
The answer was painfully obvious. Because two wrongs didn’t make a right. Because everything had to be paid for sooner or later and, for her sin of omission, that time was now.
CHAPTER TWO
WITH a soft moan of distress, Sofie crossed to her bedroom, switching on the light but leaving the door ajar so she could hear Tom if he woke in the night. Kicking off her shoes, she walked over to the window, rubbing her palms up and down her arms as if chilled, though she knew that sensation came from within.
Was Lucas standing at his window too, staring out, wondering if she was thinking of him? No, he was too confident for that. He knew she was thinking of him, worrying what he was going to do. Now that he had found her, by accident though it might have been, he wasn’t about to walk away until he had answers. She couldn’t blame him, but oh, how she wished things could have been different.
Their relationship had started out with such passion and excitement, joy and hope for the future. Even now she smiled when she pictured him looking down at her with love in his eyes. Her heart ached with the memory and the knowledge that, by her later actions, she had forfeited the right ever to see such a look again.
Yet would she believe a declaration of love, even if he were inclined to give it? Her heart would, because she still loved him so desperately, but her head knew he had lied to her. He had broken her trust, and that could never be put right. She would never have believed he could do what he had, but she had the proof. She wouldn’t believe him. Could not.
Sofie sighed heavily, the weight of her sense of betrayal hard to bear now that she had seen Lucas again. Her eye was drawn to the jewellery box which sat on her dressing table and she went to it, taking out the top layer and removing what lay hidden there. Tears glistened in her eyes as she stared at the diamond encrusted wedding band she held in her right hand, so that when she looked at the photograph in her left hand it was almost a blur.
Blinking hard, she went back to the window and sat down on the tiny window seat. Biting her lip, she stared at the two figures in the picture. It was the only one she had taken with her when she’d left. It was of herself and Lucas, on their wedding day, and looking so happy it hurt. Of course, that was because she hadn’t known that, for all his charm and passion, he was fickle. Love obviously meant something else to him.
Even knowing of his betrayal, leaving Lucas had been so painful she had cried herself to sleep more nights than she could count. There had seemed to be no end to the tears. She couldn’t help wondering where he was, what he was doing. The longing to hear his voice had urged her to reach for the telephone more than once, but reason had always made her draw back at the last minute. She had fallen under his spell once, with the result that he had broken her heart. She couldn’t risk falling under it again.
More like an automaton than a human being, she had got through each day as best she could. It had been like walking through a dark, endless tunnel, with no light at the end of it. Until she had discovered she was pregnant. That day she had started to live again. Life had purpose once more, now that she had a precious baby to take care of.
Of course, once the initial euphoria had worn off, she had realised she was in an untenable position. The baby wasn’t just hers, and the knowledge tore her in two. She knew it was only right and fair that Lucas should know he had a child but, after what he had done, she could not contact him. Though it left her with a heavy burden of guilt, she was too hurt to change her mind, and she would just have to live with the consequences.
It hadn’t been easy, living her life without the man she loved, but Tom’s arrival had helped her. Loving him had been the easiest thing to do, and concentrating on him had kept her from despairing about how different her life might have been, had Lucas not proven to have feet of clay. Having made the hard decisions, she had done her best to put the past behind her and get on with her life.
Unfortunately, her past had just caught up with her.
Fear rushed through her as she realised how vulnerable she was. What was she going to do about Tom? Having kept him secret from Lucas, how could she reveal his existence now? Lucas would never forgive her, and that would be his right, but what might he do? Her heart knew that he would want his son, and yet she couldn’t lose Tom. After all that had happened, that would be too much to bear!
Tears burnt her eyes and she pressed her hand over trembling lips. In her mind she could hear her grandmother’s gentle voice uttering one of her truisms: be sure your sins will find you out. Oh, God, she knew she had sinned, but what else could she have done? She couldn’t have returned to Lucas, as that would have meant living in a state of constant doubt. Waiting for him to betray her again. Break her heart again. Because he surely would have. He had proved he was capable of it. What love he had felt for her hadn’t stopped him, and her leaving him must have destroyed even that. So she had stayed away, thinking he would forget her and get on with his life.
Only now she was discovering Lucas had other ideas. He hadn’t divorced her, nor forgotten her. He wanted answers. He wanted payment for what she had done to him.
A single tear snaked its way down her cheek. Of course he did. Never mind the double standard. He was a man whose pride had been wounded by his wife leaving him. He wanted revenge. Wanted to confront her. Unfortunately she wasn’t prepared, never could have been, for a confrontation with her husband. Yet one was upon her now, and she had to be strong. However wrong it was, she had to keep Tom a secret still. All she had to get through was one more meeting and then Lucas would be gone and her life could return to normal.
A strangled laugh escaped her. She hardly knew what normal was any more. It was so hard to lie, yet that was all she had to protect herself. When Lucas turned up, as she was certain he would, she must tell him what he wanted to hear. Tell him anything that would make him walk away—this time for ever.
Pain seared through her at the thought, and she leant her head back against the wall, drawing in a ragged breath. The severity of that pain told her a truth she had avoided—that deep in her heart she had always hoped that one day he would come back into her life, tell her he loved her and forgave her, and everything would be all right again. It was the vain hope of a lost and lonely, broken-hearted woman.
Sofie hugged herself as silent tears flowed. Nothing had changed. There was to be no happy ever after for them, because she could never trust him again. His betrayal had destroyed forever the fragile hope she had that there was one man out there she could put her faith in. She might long for a fairy godmother to wave her wand and make everything right, but she knew she lived in the real world. Even if he wanted her back, she would be afraid to trust him, because that would make her vulnerable again. Love without trust was an empty shell.
The following few days were a nightmare roller coaster of highs and lows. One moment confident she could get through meeting Lucas again with her secret intact, the next despairing, for she knew how hard it was going to be. How could she hide a five-year-old boy, who was used to running in and out of the house at will? She had hardly slept the last three nights, anticipating Lucas’s arrival at any moment, but so far he had failed to appear.
She didn’t think for a minute that he had given up the idea of seeing her again and gone home. He was either very busy with what had brought him north in the first place, or intent on making her squirm. Probably both, she thought with an atavistic shiver.
Now it was Monday and she had dropped Tom off at school on her way in to work. He had been in a grumpy mood all weekend and she guessed he was picking up on her emotions. She had snapped at him more than once and hated herself for it, because she was the one with problems. Thinking about it now choked her up and she determined to get her act together before she picked him up from Jenny’s later.
Jenny, her next-door-neighbour, had a boy of Tom’s age and was happy to look after Tom until Sofie finished work on school days. It was her daughter Annie who babysat for Sofie whenever necessary. It was an ideal situation all round, giving Annie extra pocket money.
Usually her work distracted Sofie from her outside worries, but not this time. Things were not going well. Lack of sleep was the problem. Right now she was muttering to herself as she worked at enlarging a head and shoulders portrait for a client and the air was turning a delicate blue. She rarely used bad language and, when driven to, used only the mildest of epithets. It was just as well she was momentarily alone in the High Street studio. David was doing a photographic session at a client’s home and Jimmie, the apprentice lab assistant, was out getting them some lunch.
Sofie was just in the process of making a fine adjustment when the buzzer sounded. She jumped like a scalded cat, undoing minutes of careful work in one fell swoop, evidence of how shot her nerves were. The buzzer was simply alerting her to the fact that someone had entered the studio and never had such an effect on her. Cocking an ear, she waited to hear Jimmie call out that it was only him, but silence reigned, meaning it must be a customer.
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