Главная страница | Современные любовные романы | Daddy Lessons

Daddy Lessons
Carolyne Aarsen


Her high-school sweetheart is the last person teacher Hailey Deacon expects to encounter back home in Hartley Creek. Since Dan Morrow closed the door on their future, Hailey’s determined to make this a temporary stay. She has an ill grandmother to take care of. But when Dan, now a widower, brings his troubled six-year-old daughter to Hailey for help, how can she refuse?Working with both father and daughter, she vows not to fall for him again. But if a determined little girl has her way, Hailey and Dan won’t be leaving Hartley Creek again anytime soon. Home to Hartley Creek: A family legend brings cousins home.










Dan brushed a tangle of hair away from his daughter’s face, then gave her a gentle kiss on her forehead.

“Love you, munchkin.”

“Love you, punchkin,” the little girl repeated with a giggle.

Dan smoothed her hair again, smiling at her, the love for his daughter softening his features.

Hailey swallowed as she watched the scene between father and daughter. She always knew Dan would make a good father.

Her heart twisted with old sorrow and old regrets and a flurry of “what ifs.”

She pressed her eyes shut a moment, as if to close her mind to the past. One quick breath and the memories were gone. When she opened her eyes she caught Dan’s frown.

She flashed him a quick smile as if to let him know that everything was just fine. Then she took Natasha’s hand and led her to the table.

It was fine, she assured herself. Everything was, indeed, just fine.

But it was also just temporary.




Daddy Lessons

Carolyne Aarsen































www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)


Oh, the depths of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable His judgments and His paths beyond tracing out.

—Romans 11:33







As a writer I am so thankful

that I don’t work alone. I want to thank my editor, Tina James, for her hard work and patient guidance in shaping my stories.




Chapter One


“C’mon, honey, we’ve got to get going. You don’t want to be late for your first day of school.” Dan Morrow tossed his daughter’s backpack over his shoulder and reached for Natasha to help her down from the truck.

Bright orange buses pulled up along the sidewalk of Hartley Creek Elementary School, spilling out their loads of children. Some ran, some walked and some trudged up the sidewalk, their winter coats wide open, ignoring the chilly wind swirling snow around the school yard.

British Columbia mountain weather, Dan thought with a shudder.

But Natasha sat on the truck seat, her hands folded over her stomach, her brown hair hiding her face and falling down the front of her bright red winter jacket.

“My tummy still hurts,” she said, peeking through her hair, adding a wince in case he didn’t believe her. “And I still miss my mommy.” Natasha sniffed, her brown eyes shimmering with tears.

Despite her performance of variations on the same theme for the past few minutes, his heart still twisted at her words. Though he and Lydia had been divorced for five years, Dan was still dealing with his ex-wife’s recent death. He couldn’t imagine what his little girl, who had lived with Lydia up until her death a month ago, was going through.

He pressed a kiss to Natasha’s head. “I know you’re sad, honey,” he said, tucking her hair behind her ear so he could see her face. “But school is starting and you don’t want to be late, do you?” He made his voice reasonable and soothing, hoping she would move.

The bell sounded and the last of the stragglers entered the school. Dan tossed a quick glance toward the grade one classroom directly ahead of him. Kids moved past the frosted windows, getting settled into their desks. A taller figure stopped, looking out the window. Even from here, he caught the red-gold shine of Hailey Deacon’s hair, that little tilt of her head that told him she was watching them. He’d seen her stop before to look out the window and watch them as soon as they pulled into the parking lot.

He tried not to let his heart flip the way it always did whenever he saw her, back when they were dating.

Since he and Natasha had come back to Hartley Creek, he’d managed to avoid Hailey, his old girlfriend. But she worked as a teacher’s aide in the grade one class his daughter was supposed to attend. A first meeting between them was inevitable.

Dan turned back to Natasha, his concern for his daughter taking priority.

“I don’t want to go.” Her raised voice echoed over the now-empty school yard. “I want to stay with you.”

“I know, but you have to start school. And I need to get back to work at Grandpa’s hardware store.”

He was about to tug on Natasha’s arm again when a glint of reflected light from the school’s door caught his attention. The door fell closed and there she was, her coat open, her hair flowing like a copper flag behind her.

As she came closer he saw the concern on her delicate features, the frown above her gray eyes. His heart flipped again.

Everything has changed, he reminded himself, turning back to Natasha. You were married. You’ve got a daughter. You lost your chance with her. Stay out of the past.

“We’re going now,” he said to his daughter, trying to sound as if he was in charge.

But Natasha just looked ahead, her arms clasped tightly over her stomach.

“Sorry to barge in,” Hailey was saying. “But I noticed from the window you were having some trouble.”

Dan steeled himself, then turned to face his old girlfriend. She brushed a strand of hair back from her face as a hesitant smile played around the edges of her mouth. She looked as beautiful as she ever had. Maybe even more so. Old emotions seeped up from where he thought they were buried. He pushed them down. He had no right to get distracted.

“Natasha is upset,” he said curtly. “She doesn’t want to go to school.”

“Of course she’s sad,” Hailey replied, coming around to stand beside him. Then Hailey gave him a sympathetic look that almost found its way through the barriers he had thrown up. “I’m sorry to hear about your wife.”

“Ex-wife.”

She pulled back from him, his tone obviously accomplishing what he wanted—to keep her at arm’s length and protect himself.

“I heard about that too.” She attempted another smile, then turned back to Natasha.

Dan looked down at the top of Hailey’s head. She still parted her hair in that jagged line, still let it hang free over her shoulders, still wore perfume that smelled like oranges.

He clenched his fists and turned his wavering attention back to his daughter.

“Hello, Natasha, my name is Miss Deacon.” Hailey held her hand out. “I’ll be helping you in school this morning.”

She had pitched her voice to the same low, reassuring level she used when she taught children how to ski and snowboard on the ski hill.

“I don’t want to go to school,” Natasha said, turning to Dan, her voice breaking. Her cries tore at Dan’s heart. He couldn’t leave her like this. But neither could he take Natasha back to the apartment above the hardware store. His father was recuperating from an extreme case of bronchial pneumonia. His mother worked at his hardware store and couldn’t watch Natasha. Dan didn’t know anyone who could babysit during the day.

He cleared his throat, embarrassed that Hailey had to witness his lack of control over his daughter. “I’m sorry, Natasha, but it’s time for school.”

He tried to get his arms around her to lift her out of the truck, but she swung out at him. “I don’t want to go. Don’t make me go.” Her feet flailed in their heavy winter boots, hitting him in the arm. She wasn’t going willingly.

Now what should he do? Drag her into the building?

“Dan, can I talk to you?” Hailey asked, catching his arm.

He shot her a puzzled glance and Hailey immediately released him, rubbing her hand against her pants, as if wiping away his touch.

As they walked away from the truck, Natasha’s cries grew louder and more demanding.

“If I can get her into the classroom, I’m sure she’ll be okay,” Dan insisted. “She just needs to know who’s in charge. Her mother always let her do whatever she wanted.”

Hailey sighed and he got the impression she didn’t agree with him. Big surprise. Hailey had always been the kind of girl who went her own way, did her own thing.

And you’re judging her after all the things you did?

The old guilt rose up again, a feeling that nagged at him as much as his self-reproach over his brother’s death seven years ago.

“Natasha has had a lot to deal with in the last few weeks,” Hailey was saying. “Things have happened to her she had no control over and now she’s trying to find a way to take back some of that lost control. This is how she’ll do it.”

She sounded reasonable and, thankfully, practical. They were simply two adults discussing what to do about a little girl.

“But I need to get to work,” he said, glancing back at Natasha. “My mother needs me at the store now that Dad isn’t doing so well.”

“I know that and you should go.” Hailey put her hand on his arm again. He was sure her gesture was automatic, but even through the thickness of his jacket her touch still managed to hit him square in the gut.

This time he jerked away.

“How will that work?” he asked, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jacket.

“The store isn’t that far from here.” Hailey folded her arms over her chest. “I suggest you leave the truck here and walk to the store. I’ll stay here with her until she’s ready to come inside.”

Dan frowned, glancing from Natasha back to Hailey. “Don’t you need to get to the classroom?”

“Right now, my priority is your daughter. She won’t sit in that truck all day and even if she does that’s okay. Tomorrow we might have to do it again, but eventually she’ll get tired of sitting outside. If we let her make the decision, hopefully she’ll feel as if she has some say in the matter. Once that happens, she can slowly move into a routine which will help her in the healing process.”

“It seems like a lot of trouble,” he said, glancing over at Natasha, who had quieted down and was watching them with interest. “What if it takes all day?”

“I’m not that busy in the classroom today. Two days of the week I only work half-time. Today is one of those days.”

“So what do you do the other half of those days?”

As soon as he spoke he felt like hitting himself on the forehead. That was none of his business.

He was also surprised to see a faint flush color Hailey’s cheeks. “I volunteer at the ski hill. Visit my Nana.”

Her comment reminded him of her reason for her temporary return to Hartley Creek. “I heard about her heart attack. I’m sorry. I knew you and your sisters are very close to her. How is she feeling?”

Hailey tipped her head down, fingering a gold necklace hanging around her neck. “She’s doing very well. Thanks for asking.”

The little hitch in her voice kindled concern for her and resurrected memories and emotions he thought he’d dealt with long ago.

He blinked, mentally pushing them away. Natasha and her care was his priority right now. Hailey didn’t even make the list. Besides, he had heard she was leaving town at the end of the school year.

He shifted his weight, trying to decide what to do, then glanced at his watch and his decision was made for him. Time was running out.

“Okay. I’ll leave you with her,” he said with a resigned sigh. “But if you need me, call me at the store.” He reached in his shirt pocket for his pen and the pad of paper he always carried around.

She held up her hand in a stop gesture. “I know the number.”

Of course she would remember. When they were dating, he worked at his father’s store after school and she would call him every day.

He shook off the memory as he glanced past her to his daughter, who still watched them with an intent gaze as if trying to figure out what they were talking about.

“Just so you know, she’s incredibly stubborn and strong-willed.” His heart shifted at the sight of her, so small, sitting in the truck, her feet straight out. “But she really needs a routine in her life and the sooner the better.” Then he turned back to Hailey. “You call me if she gets upset or needs me.”

“I will,” Hailey promised.

Still he hesitated. He’d had to walk away from Natasha so many times; he didn’t want to do it again. At least this time he would see her in a few hours instead of a few weeks.

“I should say goodbye to her before I go,” he said.

Natasha’s expression grew hopeful when he approached the truck. He bent over and gave her a quick kiss and a hug. “I’m going to the store, honey. You can stay here in the truck, like you wanted.”

Puzzlement creased her forehead as Dan straightened. She seemed unsure of this new twist in her plans.

He stepped away, fighting his own urge to give in to her. He zipped up his coat and walked toward Hailey. “You’ll let me know how things go?”

“I’ll make sure she’s okay.”

Dan gave her a tight nod, but before he left, their gazes met and held and it seemed as if the intervening years slipped away. Seven years of living away from Hartley Creek and a failed marriage drifted away like smoke with one look into those gray-blue eyes.

Then the past slid into the present and with it came reality.

He had Natasha, his greatest blessing and the only positive consequence of his marriage.

“Talk to you later,” was his gruff response as he steeled himself against old emotions.

At one time he had loved Hailey. At one time they’d made plans. Then Austin’s death had crashed into their lives and with it had come a flood of guilt. Dan had promised his parents, who didn’t like for their sons to go snow-boarding, that he would watch over Austin. He’d failed them when Austin died on a run he should never have started.

And then Hailey had broken up with him.

He straightened his shoulders. Hailey belonged to his past, not his present.

“Adam, come here,” Hailey called out to the little boy who was about to run out of the school with no coat, no hat and no scarf. The temperature hovered around minus ten with the wind. The kid’s ears would freeze and his mother, Emma Minton, would be annoyed.

Adam sighed, and turned around, trudging back to her, dragging his coat and his backpack. “Why do I have to put on my coat? It gets so hot in the bus.”

Hailey knelt down. “If something happens, we want you to be properly dressed.”

As she helped him with his coat, the doors at the end of the noisy hallway opened up again. A tall figure strode around the much smaller bodies, shifting to avoid the headlong rush of children released from the confines of the class.

Although she had seen Dan Morrow every afternoon for the past week, each time an echo of her old feelings lifted her heart.

He was taller than he had been in high school; his shoulders had filled out and broadened. His blond hair had darkened, his face had gained a few more lines, but it was his gaze that snagged and held her attention.

His deep-set eyes used to mesmerize and melt her heart. Now they looked at her with a calm indifference that hurt her more than anger would have.

You broke up with him because he wanted to leave. Why do you care how he looks at you?

The question mocked her as she forced her attention back to Adam, who was squirming like a snake.

Dan reached for the door to the class, but Hailey held out a hand to stop him. “Natasha’s teacher, Miss Tolsma, wants to talk to you before you take Natasha home,” she said.

“Why?”

Hailey hesitated, then angled him a quick glance. “Today was not … not Natasha’s best day,” she said, deliberately keeping her comment vague in front of Adam, Natasha’s classmate.

“At least she got out of the truck right away today,” Dan said, with a hopeful note in his voice. He shot a quick glance through the window in the classroom door at his daughter, who sat perched at the edge of a tiny chair, clutching her backpack.

Hailey followed his glance and suppressed a sigh as she zipped up Adam’s coat.

It was Friday afternoon and school was done for the week. As he had the past four days, Dan had come to pick Natasha up. Megan Tolsma had asked Hailey to tell Dan she needed to talk to him. However, Megan was still in a staff meeting, leaving Hailey to fill the awkward silence between her and Dan with idle chitchat.

At one time Hailey could have regaled Dan with stories about people they knew. Passed on a bit of gossip. Talked about the snow conditions on the mountain.

Now their history and the silence of the past seven years yawned like a chasm between them, and above that space floated memories of Austin’s death. The tragic event that pushed them apart. That sent Dan west to Vancouver and Hailey in the opposite direction.

Dan drummed his fingers against his thigh, obviously also aware of the awkwardness trembling between them.

Hailey dragged her attention back to Adam. “Are you still coming to the ranch next week?” Adam asked as Hailey tugged a toque on his head. “Mommy made your favorite chocolate cupcakes and put them in the freezer so me and Carter won’t eat them.”

“I’m excited for cupcakes,” she said, hoping Dan didn’t hear the waver in her voice.

Please, Lord, she prayed, help me get over this. I don’t want to feel so confused around him. This has to get easier.

It’s that whole first love thing, she reminded herself. You never really forget the drama and emotions of that first love. She just had to try.

Yet, as she wrapped Adam’s scarf around his neck, she knew her reaction to Dan was beyond that of former high school sweethearts. Dan had been part of her dreams and the promise of a settled and secure future—something she had lacked with a mother who always wanted to be anywhere but Hartley Creek. And a father who had left her and her sisters long ago.

While she tied up the ends of the scarf, Adam turned his attention back to Dan.

“Are you Natasha’s daddy?”

“Yes. Are you friends with her?” Dan asked back.

“I want to be, but she doesn’t play with me. She’s not fun.”

Hailey tugged on Adam’s scarf to get his attention. “Remember? We only say good things about our friends,” she said, adding in a warning frown when Adam met her gaze.

“She’s not my friend yet,” Adam protested. “She won’t play with me because all she does is cry.”

She needed to work on the potency of her frown, Hailey thought. Obviously it had no effect on Adam. As Hailey glanced back at Dan she caught a shadow of pain cross his expression.

All week she and Megan had tried to be diplomatic with Dan in their discussions about Natasha. Dan kept insisting Natasha only needed a few more days to get used to the routine.

But Natasha needed more than a few more days to settle in. They hadn’t told him yet that Natasha had spent all of today hunched over her knapsack, her hair hanging over her face, silent tears streaming down her cheeks.

Megan was saving that information for the parent-teacher meeting this afternoon.

Hailey pushed herself to her feet. “Out you go, buddy. Say hi to your mom and Carter for me,” she said, sending Adam out the door, watching to make sure he got to the bus. When she saw the principal of the school urging Adam on, she turned back to Dan.

“So, how does that kid know your cousin Carter?” Dan asked.

“His mother, Emma, and my cousin Carter are engaged.”

“Glad to hear that,” Dan said, slipping his hands in the back pockets of his jeans. “Carter’s had it pretty rough the past few years. What with losing his wife and then his little boy.”

Hailey tried not to read too much into his knowledge of her family. Carter was her cousin, but he was also a part of the Hartley Creek community. Dan’s mother and father would have kept Dan abreast of what was going on.

“Carter’s happy now.”

Dan nodded, then blew out a sigh. “What did that little guy mean when he said all Natasha does is cry?”

“Today wasn’t a good day for Natasha.” That was all she felt comfortable telling him.

“She’ll have her good and bad days, I guess,” Dan replied. The look he gave Hailey seemed to contain both challenge and hope.

She swallowed, unable to look away, wondering if he ever thought of their last time together and the fight they had. Had he done the same thing as she had done in the months that followed? Relive that conversation over and over? Say things differently?

After Austin died, Dan had pulled back. She had understood that and had given him room to grieve. Then, when he finally asked to get together again it was to tell her that he wanted to move away from Hartley Creek. When she asked him why he said only that he needed space.

As she’d faced him down, Hailey had relived the pain she felt when she’d watched her father silently pack his suitcase, then walk past her and out of the house. She had been eight years old then and vividly remembered her helplessness.

Added to the past memory was the reality that four months before Austin’s accident, when Hailey had just graduated from high school, her mother, Denise, decided her youngest daughter was old enough to fend for herself. Her sisters, Naomi and Shannon, were out of the house already, so Denise packed up and moved away from Hartley Creek, leaving Hailey behind.

Then Dan wanted to leave her too?

It was all too much. This time she would be in charge, Hailey had thought. This time she wasn’t going to be left behind. So she’d broken up with him.

Part of her had hoped, even yearned, that he would plead with her not to break up. That he would change his mind and want to stay in Hartley Creek with her.

But nothing.

The first six months he was gone, she nurtured the faint hope he would return. When she heard about his marriage to Lydia she knew their relationship had ended.

Though the sting of that betrayal had stayed with her a long time, the memory of the love she had held for him lingered.

And now, looking into his eyes, that old memory grew stronger and she was reluctantly drawn into his gaze.

She couldn’t do this. Not here. Not now.

Relief flooded her when she saw Megan striding down the hall.

“Here’s Miss Tolsma,” she said, reaching blindly for the handle of the classroom door. “I’ll sit with Natasha, until you’re finished.”

Then she turned and retreated into the room, closing the door firmly on Dan and on the past.

She’d found out the hard way the only way to stay in control of your own life was to stay in control of your plans.

No way was Dan disrupting them.




Chapter Two


Natasha sat in the little chair in the corner, still clutching her knapsack, her chin resting on the top of it, her brown hair hiding her face.

At least she wasn’t crying anymore.

Hailey sat down beside her, perched awkwardly on a chair made for six-year-old bottoms. She folded her hands on her lap, saying nothing, simply being there for the little girl.

As if finally sensing her presence, Natasha looked up. Her red-rimmed eyes and tear-stained cheeks plucked at Hailey’s heartstrings.

Natasha dragged her coat sleeve across her face, drying her eyes. “Is my daddy come yet?”

“He’s talking to Miss Tolsma for a few minutes. As soon as they’re done he’ll come to get you.”

“I want to be with my daddy. I don’t want to be in this school.” Natasha looked down at her knapsack, fiddling with a tiny stuffed rabbit hanging from the zipper pull.

“I’m sure your daddy wants to be with you too.” Hailey laid her hand on Natasha’s tiny shoulder.

Natasha shook her head. Hailey heard her draw in a trembling breath and her shoulders shook with silent sorrow, as if she had no hope her cries would be acknowledged.

Hailey’s heart broke for the little girl adrift without her mother and living in an unfamiliar place.

“You know your daddy loves you very much,” Hailey said, giving the little girl’s hand a squeeze. “He wants to take very good care of you and he wants you to learn. That’s why he put you in school.”

Natasha’s silent cries only increased. Hailey couldn’t stand watching her. She pulled the little girl onto her lap. Natasha made a token protest, then wilted against Hailey, her arms twined around her neck.

Hailey wrapped her arms around the tiny, slender body, rocking slowly back and forth and making shushing noises. Natasha burrowed her head in Hailey’s neck.

“I don’t want to be sad,” she murmured, sniffing.

“I know you miss your mom and this place is different. It’s okay to be sad about that.”

Natasha drew in a shuddering breath. “Daddy said I shouldn’t talk about my mommy,” she said. “Because it makes me cry.”

Hailey felt torn. She didn’t want to go against Dan’s parenting, but she also wanted to look out for Natasha.

“You can talk about your mommy to me, if you want,” Hailey said. “You can tell me anything you want about her.”

Natasha considered this, then lay against Hailey again. “I really like you,” she whispered.

“I like you too,” Hailey replied, stroking Natasha’s damp hair away from her face. She clung to the little girl. Dan’s little girl.

What if Austin’s accident hadn’t happened? What if Dan had stayed in Hartley Creek? Would the little girl in her arms be her and Dan’s?

The light touch of a hand on her shoulder made her jump. Hailey yanked herself back from her meandering thoughts, then just about fell off the chair when she turned and saw Dan pull his hand back from her.

A frown pulled his eyebrows together as he looked down at her.

“She was so upset … she was crying … I didn’t know what to do.” Hailey stumbled through her excuses, wondering why she felt she had to explain her behavior.

But Dan’s direct gaze made her feel as if she had stepped over some invisible boundary.

He bent over and lifted Natasha away from Hailey and the little girl tucked herself into his arms. He stroked her hair just as Hailey had, tucking Natasha’s head under his chin as he held her close.

Just as Hailey had.

“It’s okay, honey,” he murmured to his daughter. “We’re making this better for you.”

Hailey glanced over to Megan standing by the front doorway to the class, one arm crossed over her chest, her other hand tucked under her chin while she watched Dan and his little girl.

Hailey beat a retreat to her friend’s side.

“Did you figure something out?” Hailey asked.

Megan ran her forefinger across her chin, as if drawing out her thoughts. Then she turned to Hailey. “We’ve decided that Natasha would do better with a tutor who could work with her in her home.”

Hailey looked back to Dan, now perched on the edge of the small table, still holding his daughter.

“Good idea, but where will you find a tutor in Hartley Creek?” she asked, watching as Dan rocked slowly back and forth, comforting his daughter.

As a father has compassion on his children …

The Bible verse that had comforted her so often in the dark days following Austin’s accident slipped into her mind.

Dan was a good father, so unlike her own.

Megan turned away from Dan to Hailey, lowering her voice. “I’m thinking this might be a good job for you.”

Hailey’s attention jerked away from Dan to her friend. “What, what?”

“Shush. Use your church voice,” Megan whispered, holding her finger to her lips. “You and I both know that this little girl needs more help than any of the children in the classroom. When I saw you holding her on your lap, I knew you were exactly the right person for this job.”

“I don’t think so.” She couldn’t see Dan on a regular basis. That would put too heavy a strain on her emotions.

“But think of Natasha,” Megan urged. “That little girl is overwrought. She recently lost her mother. She needs some kind of direction and she has obviously formed an attachment to you.”

Hailey pressed her lips together as her sympathy for Natasha swayed her reasoning.

Megan sensed her wavering and put her hand on Hailey’s shoulder. “I think you’re exactly the right person for the job,” she said.

Hailey shrugged, her reluctance battling with her sympathy for Natasha. “You can think all you want, but I’m sure Dan won’t go for your plan.”

“We’ll see,” was all Megan would say.

They walked over to where Dan sat, still holding Natasha. The little girl lay quietly in his arms.

Dan looked up when they came close, a raw hope in his eyes.

“I have a temporary solution to your problem.” Megan gave Dan a bright smile. “I’ve talked to Hailey about your situation and she is willing to tutor your daughter.”

Dan’s gaze flicked over Hailey and then returned to Megan. “I don’t think that’s an option,” was his blunt response.

“I feel it’s a reasonable solution,” Megan replied, brushing aside his objections. “Hailey and Natasha obviously have some kind of bond.”

Dan’s only reply was to lift Natasha, stand up and settle her on his hip. Then he glanced over at Hailey. For a moment, as their eyes met, she caught a flicker of older emotions, a hearkening back to another time. Her heart faltered in response.

“This won’t work,” he said, then turned and walked away.

Hailey watched him leave, the definite tone in his voice cutting her to the core. Though Hailey had known Dan wouldn’t agree, she didn’t think he would be so adamant about it.

She wondered why she cared. Her response to him showed her she wasn’t over Dan Morrow at all. And if she wasn’t over Dan, she certainly shouldn’t be teaching his daughter.

“Natasha, don’t play with that, honey.” Dan took the cardboard-and-cellophane box holding the baby doll away from his daughter.

It was Saturday afternoon and he and his mother had spent most of the day doing damage control, keeping his daughter from running up and down the aisles, fingering the china displays and playing with the toys in the store. Patricia, the store’s only employee, manned the register.

“But it’s pretty and I don’t have a doll like that.” Natasha stuck out her lip in a classic pout as she dropped onto the wooden floor, her green fairy dress puddling around her in a mass of glittery chiffon and satin.

Dan carefully closed the box and put it back up on the shelf with the rest of the toys. “Come with me to the front,” he said, taking his daughter’s hand. “Patricia said she has a game for you to play.”

She jerked her hand away just as his cell phone rang out. Without bothering to check the caller, he pulled it from his pocket and answered it.

“We’ve been trying to call you for the past two days,” a voice accused him.

At the sound of the woman’s voice Dan’s heart sank. Lydia’s mother. Carla Anderson.

“I want the doll,” Natasha called out, pulling away from Dan as he tried to control her and use his phone. Thankfully the store had hit a lull and Dan didn’t have to deal with any customers right now.

“Is that Natasha?” Carla asked, her voice raising an octave. “What is wrong with her?”

“She’s fine.” The only thing wrong with her was she wasn’t getting what she wanted. “And what can I do for you, Carla?” he asked, forcing himself to smile. He’d read somewhere that if you smile even if you don’t feel like it, your voice sounds more pleasant. And he needed that pleasant tone right now. Every conversation with his mother-in-law since Lydia’s death had been a battle over who would take care of Natasha. He had custody, but Lydia’s parents brought it up at every turn.

In the weeks after Lydia’s death Dan deliberately kept everyone out of his daughter’s life just so he could cement his relationship with Natasha. He wanted to give her stability, create a connection. He’d had such little time with his daughter when Lydia was alive. However, in Dan’s opinion that had meant keeping everyone, even his own parents, at arm’s length for those first critical weeks after Lydia’s death.

Now he lived in Hartley Creek and Carla and Alfred were still in Vancouver, and they’d been pushing harder and harder with each phone call.

“I want to talk to Natasha,” Carla was saying. “I haven’t talked to her for a couple of days.”

Dan looked down at his sniffling daughter, then at the checkout counter. His mother was bagging some items for Miranda Klauer. The store was quiet, so he had time to supervise the phone call.

“Okay. I’ll put her on,” Dan said, as he took Natasha’s hand and walked toward the door leading to his and Natasha’s apartment above the store. They stepped into the stairwell and closed the door, leaving it open a crack so he could give them some privacy and yet keep an eye on what was going on outside.

“It’s your gramma,” he said to his daughter, lowering the phone and covering the mouthpiece. “She wants to talk to you. Do you want to talk to her?”

Natasha gave a halfhearted nod and Dan gave her the phone.

She lifted it, frowning just a bit, as if unsure what she would hear.

“Hi, Grandmother … I’m fine … Yes, I love my daddy. And he loves me.” Natasha sat down on the first stair, fidgeting with a piece of her skirt as she listened to her grandmother. “My Gramma and Grandpa Deacon are really nice too…. It’s cold here but I don’t have to go to school.” Natasha looked over at Dan, puzzlement crossing her features. “Because my daddy said so … My daddy can homeschool me, like my mommy did.” Her frown deepened with each pause in the conversation as she listened to what her grandmother was saying. “But I like being with my daddy and I don’t want to live with you—”

Fury rose up in Dan and he had to stop himself from snatching the phone away from Natasha. “I need to talk to Grandmother Anderson,” he said, keeping his voice calm as he held out his hand.

Thankfully, Natasha willingly gave the phone up.

Dan took in a deep breath, then another, then raised the phone to his ear.

“We have all kinds of fun toys and I can take you to the park all the time because it’s not cold here,” Carla Anderson was saying.

“This is Dan.” His words came out clipped and he didn’t bother smiling this time. “What are you doing?”

A pause greeted his angry question, then Carla cleared her throat. “I was merely pointing out to Natasha the advantages of residing with us. And I think they are numerous.”

Dan massaged the bridge of his nose, praying for patience, praying he didn’t lose it in front of Natasha, who was watching him from her perch on the stair.

“We are not having this discussion now.” He pitched his voice low, hoping he sounded nonthreatening. Hoping the fear twisting his gut didn’t come out in his voice.

He’d spent almost six years of Natasha’s short life battling with his ex-wife to get her to respect Dan’s court-ordered weekend visits with his daughter. He had struggled not to run to court every time Lydia had decided this weekend she might take Natasha out of town, or Natasha was too sick to come, or any other lame excuse. He didn’t want Natasha to become a pawn in their battle. But it had been difficult not to succumb when a month could go by with no visit.

Sad as Lydia’s death had been, in one way, for Dan, it had been a relief from the constant tension of battling over visits with his daughter.

Then, shortly after the funeral, he’d received a phone call from Lydia’s brother, a lawyer, warning Dan that his parents wanted to sue for custody of Natasha. Since then the battle lines had been drawn and Mr. and Mrs. Anderson had slowly advanced, revealing their strategy one methodical step at a time.

The past few days their tactic had been to convince Natasha she wanted to live with them.

“We’re not giving up on Natasha.” Carla warned. “We have much to give her.”

Dan bit back an angry reply. Mr. and Mrs. Anderson owned a condo in Hawaii, a twenty-six-foot yacht anchored in the Victoria Harbor, a small private plane and a home just outside of Vancouver with more square footage than both his parents’ hardware store and the grocery store beside it.

“She’s my daughter,” he said, “and I will take care of her.”

“That may be, but she said she’s not going to school. How is that taking care of her?”

Dan should have known Carla wouldn’t have missed one beat in Natasha’s conversation. “She’s having a hard time adjusting.” No sooner had the words left his lips than he felt like banging his head on the wall behind him. Why give them any kind of ammunition? What kind of idiot was he?

“You do realize your daughter needs to attend school. That is still required,” Carla replied, a note of triumph in her voice.

The all-too-familiar panic rose up in him as he felt himself backed into a corner. He glanced over at Natasha. She was smiling at him, rocking back and forth on the stair. He wasn’t letting her go. Never.

Mrs. Anderson was still talking. “If you aren’t responsible enough to take care of her schooling, perhaps we will have to—”

“I’m getting a tutor,” he snapped, cutting her off mid-threat. He leaned back against the wall behind him, the old cliché of being stuck between a rock and a hard place suddenly becoming very real. Could he hire Hailey? See her every day?

Maybe there was another way. Someone else to tutor Natasha.

“I see.” Mrs. Anderson’s clipped tone showed him that he had, for now, caused her to retreat. “Then I guess we’ll have to see how things pan out for her.”

“Yes, we will.” Dan experienced a momentary reprieve and, to his disappointment, one of his knees began to bounce, an involuntary reaction to stress. He pushed it down and forced a smile that came more naturally this time. “And now I’m saying goodbye.” He ended the call before Mrs. Anderson could ask to speak to Natasha again.

He laid his head back against the wall, closing his eyes.

“Are you tired, Daddy?” Natasha asked him, tugging on his hand.

He looked down at her, feeling the weight of his responsibilities. He was tired. Tired of trying to balance all the emotions his homecoming had created. Tired of trying to do it all himself.

In spite of what he had told Natasha’s grandmother, however, he wasn’t sure he was ready to have Hailey tutor his daughter every day. Surely he could find someone else to do the job.

“No, honey. I’m fine.” He dropped his phone in his pocket and took her hand. “Now, let’s go see if Gramma needs any help.”

Hailey smoothed her hair, pressed her lips together and then caught herself mid-preen as she walked out of the cloakroom. It’s church, silly. And like last week, Dan won’t be here anyway.

In spite of her self-chiding, she still tugged on the wide leather belt cinching her knit dress, pressed her lips together to even out her lipstick, then threaded her way through the people gathered in the foyer, toward the doors leading to the sanctuary.

She paused in the doorway, glancing around the church, looking for a place to sit. Shannon was working at the hospital this morning and her Nana wanted to sleep in, so neither of them would be here this morning.

She caught sight of her cousin Carter’s dark head bent over his fiancée, Emma, her son, Adam, sitting on his lap. People sat on either side of them, so it didn’t look like there was room for her there.

“Miss Deacon. Miss Deacon,” Natasha’s voice called out over the buzz of conversation from the lobby. Hailey’s heart skipped its next beat.

She turned to see Dan’s tall figure moving through the people gathered in the foyer. His dark blond hair still glistened with moisture, as if he had stepped right out of the shower, gotten dressed and come here. As Natasha pulled him closer she also saw a line of blood trickling from a cut on his cheek. Probably shaved as quickly as he had dressed.

“Miss Deacon, you come to church too?” Natasha asked, beaming with pleasure.

“Yes. I do.” Hailey returned her smile, yet couldn’t stop her eyes from drifting toward Dan.

He wore a blue blazer over a light blue shirt. No tie, and jeans with cowboy boots. Just as he always did. And just as before, one point of his collar was tucked under the lapel of his blazer and the other lay overtop.

Hailey had to stop herself from reaching out to straighten it. As she always did.

“Hello, Hailey,” he said.

Hailey hoped her smile looked as polite and emotionless as his. Then she noticed the trickle of blood heading dangerously close to his collar.

“You’re bleeding,” Hailey said, pointing to his face.

Dan grimaced and lifted his hand to the wrong cheek. Without thinking Hailey pulled a tissue out of her purse and pressed it to his face. She felt the warmth of his cheek through the tissue.

Dan, however, pulled back, smearing the blood.

“Sorry. So sorry,” she said, angry at how breathless she sounded. “It’s just the blood was going to stain the collar of your shirt. I thought I should stop it. I didn’t mean—”

Stop now, she chastised herself as she handed him the tissue again.

He took it from her and slowly wiped his cheek. “I should go to the washroom and clean this up,” he said. “Would you mind watching Natasha for me?” he asked.

Hailey gave a tight shake of her head, pulling her gaze away from him. She drew in a long, careful breath. Please Lord, help me through this, she prayed. I’ll be seeing him from time to time. Just let me get my silly emotions settled down.

As Dan left, Natasha caught Hailey’s hand in hers, clinging to it. “I wanted to wear my fairy wings to church so I could look like an angel, but my Daddy said I couldn’t.”

Hailey dragged her attention from Dan’s retreating back to the little girl.

Natasha swung Hailey’s hand as if they had known each other for years instead of only a few days.

“I think you look like an angel now,” Hailey returned.

“I don’t like this dress, but my daddy said I had to wear it.” Natasha pulled at the dress, her blue cotton tied at the waist. White tights and black patent leather shoes finished the look.

“You look really nice,” Hailey said, but from the look of Natasha’s sloppy ponytail she suspected Dan hadn’t had much luck with her hair.

“My daddy said we had to hurry to get to church so we could sit with Gramma and Grandpa, but I want to sit with you,” Natasha said, looking up at Hailey.

“You better wait to see what your daddy says,” Hailey returned. Knowing the tension surrounding them each time they got together, she doubted Dan would give in to that request.

People moved past, smiling at her and Natasha. A few stopped to chat, but most walked directly into the sanctuary. Finally Dan appeared again. The cut on his cheek was only a tiny red line and seemed to have stopped bleeding.

Without looking at her, Dan reached for Natasha’s hand. “We should go, sweetie,” he said.

But Natasha wouldn’t let go of Hailey. “I want to sit with Miss Deacon.”

“I’m sure Miss Deacon has her own place to sit,” he said, motioning her forward.

But Natasha wouldn’t move.

Hailey saw Dan press his lips together and tried to release Natasha’s death grip on her own fingers. “You should go with your daddy,” she said.

Natasha’s lips thinned and she gave a quick shake of her head as she gave Hailey a determined look. “I want to sit with you.” Her voice rose on that last word and people already seated in the sanctuary were looking back at them. Some looked concerned, some grinned, and Hailey sensed Dan’s growing frustration.

Dan tried one more time to take Natasha away.

“I want to be with Miss Deacon,” she called out as Dan took her hand firmly in his.

A few more heads turned and a few titters flew around the sanctuary. And in case neither Dan nor Hailey understood Natasha’s determination, she emphasized her little pique with a stamp of her foot.

Hailey looked over Natasha’s head at Dan. “I don’t mind if you and her sit with me,” she said, giving him a gracious way to give in to Natasha.

Dan drummed his fingers on his thigh, then gave a reluctant nod of his head. “Okay. I guess we can.”

In spite of the tension of the moment Hailey couldn’t stop a tiny frisson of pleasure at the thought of sitting with him. She dragged her attention back to Natasha. “I guess we’ll need to find an empty spot,” she said to the little girl. Then without another glance at Dan, she turned and walked down the aisle, searching for a place near the back where they wouldn’t be too obvious.

As they passed Carter and Emma, she caught Carter looking at her and Natasha. Hailey averted her glance, but not soon enough to miss the smirk on her cousin’s face. A flush heated her cheeks, but she kept her head up and finally found a spot at the end of a pew. Hailey slipped into the empty space, Natasha right behind her. And Dan right behind Natasha.

Hailey settled into the pew and, as Natasha slipped her arm into hers, tried not to look over at Dan. Thankfully the service started and the first song was announced. Hailey reached for the songbook at the same time as Dan. As their fingers brushed, she pulled her own hand back, curling her fingers against her palm.

Dan simply opened the book to the correct page and held it out for her to follow along.

Please help me get through this service, she prayed as she folded her hands together and sang along. Please help me to stay focused on You, Lord, and not be distracted by Dan.

When the song was over Hailey sat down and kept her gaze forward, concentrating on the worship team. The pastor. Anything but the man sitting a couple of feet away.

Natasha leaned contentedly against Hailey, swinging her feet back and forth, her arm tucked in Hailey’s. By the time the pastor started preaching, however, Hailey felt Natasha’s body grow heavier and heard her breathing slow.

She shot a quick glance down at the girl, surprised to see her eyes closed. Dan seemed to have noticed too. He reached over to take her from Hailey, but even in her sleep, Natasha clung to Hailey, shifted, then laid her head on Hailey’s lap.

Hailey looked down at the little girl’s face, so relaxed and innocent in sleep. Her heart faltered and she couldn’t stop her hand from lightly brushing the child’s hair back from her face, then letting her hand rest on Natasha’s shoulder. She looked over at Dan at the same time he looked at her, and in his eyes she caught a fleeting glimpse of sadness. It’s not my fault, she wanted to say, as she did not understand the strange attachment the young girl seemed to have to her.

Dan held her gaze a moment, then looked down at Natasha. He reached over and put his hand on her arm, as if laying his own claim to the little girl.

The service flowed on and still Natasha slept, her warmth and vulnerability creating a surprising feeling of protectiveness in Hailey.

But, to her shame, in spite of focusing her attention on the pastor, she was far too aware of Dan’s hand resting only inches from hers.




Chapter Three


The chords of the last song rang through the sanctuary and Dan waited a moment, too many emotions storming the defenses he’d spent seven years putting in place.

All through the service he’d been far too conscious of Hailey. Her movements. The way she would curl her hair around her finger. The way she would smile at a point the minister had made.

Sometimes it seemed that the past seven years were just a drift of smoke, but then all he had to do was look at his daughter and realize that, between him and Hailey, everything had changed.

Now, as Natasha lay with her head on Hailey’s lap, part of him wanted to snatch Natasha away from Hailey, pull his little girl to himself. Pull himself into the present.

But part of him also felt a disturbing sense of rightness. Hailey had always wanted to be a mother. She had always talked about having a large family. Six kids. Maybe more.

Dan gave himself a mental shake, erasing past emotions and history that had come back to haunt the present. What he felt for Hailey didn’t belong here and now.

However, right now he had another reality to deal with. Natasha’s schooling.

Hailey gently shook Natasha, trying to wake her up, but she wouldn’t even open her eyes.

Dan sat down again. “Just leave her,” he said quietly. “I need to talk to you anyway.” He glanced over his shoulder at the people leaving the sanctuary. He couldn’t see his parents, which was just as well. He needed a moment with Hailey. Alone.

As he waited, the buzz of conversation from the exiting congregation was punctuated with bursts of laughter. Light streamed over the emptying pews from the stained glass windows, bathing everyone in a multicolored glow.

Not much had changed here, he thought.

“What do you want to talk to me about?” Hailey asked, shooting him a puzzled frown.

Dan didn’t say anything right away. In a few moments they could speak in private. Finally, the last people left the foyer and only then did Dan turn to Hailey.

“I have a favor to ask of you,” he said, keeping his voice low so he wouldn’t wake Natasha.

“Sure. What is it?”

Dan tapped his fingers on the back of the wooden pew, realizing how silly he was about to look, given his initial resistance to Hailey tutoring his daughter.

But that was before the in-laws’ phone call. Before the pressure to come up with a solution had pushed him to this place. Before he had realized there was no one else to do the job.

“I was wondering if you’re still willing to tutor Natasha,” he said.

“What? Why now?”

Dan pursed his lips, trying to think of how to tell her, then decided to go with the easiest response. The truth.

“Ever since Lydia died, her parents have been pushing to get custody of Natasha. When they found out she wasn’t going to school, they saw it as ammunition.” He couldn’t stop the bitter tone that crept into his voice. Or the anger. He paused a moment to settle himself, then looked over at Hailey. “Truth is, I’m stuck. I need a tutor, and because you’re a qualified teacher, that makes it easier to prove I’m doing the right thing with Natasha’s schooling.” He didn’t add that he couldn’t find anyone else.

Before Hailey’s glance slid away from him, he caught a glimpse of pain in her gray eyes.

He didn’t want to analyze why she might feel that way. He felt as if he was using her, but when it came to his daughter he would do anything.

“I’ll pay you,” he added, hoping, praying she wouldn’t turn him down. “I don’t expect you to do this for free.”

Hailey raised her hand as if to say stop. “Don’t worry about that. I’ll tutor her.”

The tension in Dan’s shoulders released. “Great. I appreciate that. I will pay you, though. At least as much as you’re making at the school.”

Hailey gently stroked Natasha’s hair. Dan was surprised to see a slight tremor in her fingers. “Did you want me to start tomorrow?” she asked.

“That would be best.”

Hailey pulled in a long, slow breath, then turned back to him. “Are you sure about this?”

Her direct question accentuated his own concerns but he knew he had no choice.

“I have to be,” was all he could say to her.

Her eyes held his and in her expression he saw all the misgivings he also had entertained.

It would work, he told himself. A lot had happened between then and now. They were different people now.

Besides, it was only for a while. Once Natasha had eased back into regular classroom life, he wouldn’t need Hailey’s help anymore.

And once the school year was over, Hailey would be leaving Hartley Creek anyway.

“Are you sure it’s a good idea to be tutoring Dan’s girl?” Shannon closed a cupboard door in her kitchen and set a bowl beside the stove. “That won’t be awkward?” Hailey’s sister tossed her long, wavy hair away from her face as she dumped a pan of green beans into the bowl. Then she reached past Hailey for the nutmeg.

Hailey blew out a sigh as she carved up the chicken for the dinner she and Shannon were preparing for Nana in Shannon’s apartment. “Hopefully not. I mean we’re both adults. Besides, when he married Lydia he made it clear he had moved on.”

“But still—”

“Have you heard anything more from Naomi?” Hailey didn’t want to talk about her and Dan’s past. She had shed enough tears over Dan’s decisions and Shannon had been witness to most of them. Hailey had her own life now and Dan wasn’t a part of it. “Last I talked to her, the oncologist said Billy had maybe another month?”

Shannon shook her head. “Poor Naomi. When she and Billy got engaged, who could have imagined this would happen?”

“Do you think she’ll be back for Carter and Emma’s wedding?”

“I hope so.” Shannon frowned as she sprinkled nutmeg over the bowl of steaming beans. “Our poor sister has had to deal with so much, it would be good for her to be around family.”

“Hopefully Garret will be done with that engineering job in Dubai by then.”

“I hope so too. I’m looking forward to having everyone back for a while.”

“What do you mean, for a while?” Nana Beck’s quiet voice interrupted the sisters’ conversation. She settled herself in the folding chair beside the plastic table that took up one corner of Shannon’s minuscule kitchen.

“You know I have a teaching job in Calgary come September,” Hailey said, laying a drumstick on the plate she was filling up.

“I still don’t believe you can’t find a job closer to home,” Nana complained.

Hailey gave her grandmother a placating smile. “Calgary is only a three-hour drive away. I’ll be back to visit.”

Nana smoothed back her gray hair. “At least I’ve got three of my grandchildren together for now. And Carter seems so happy now that he and Emma are making their wedding plans.”

“Yeah. Lucky Carter.” Hailey felt truly happy for her cousin, but Dan’s return to town reminded her of her own might-have-beens.

“You’ll find someone, don’t worry,” Nana assured her, as if she could read her granddaughter’s mind. “Maybe in Calgary. Or maybe here. Now that Dan Morrow is back. You two were such a sweet couple.”

Hailey caught Shannon’s sympathetic glance at their grandmother’s lack of subtlety. Her sister, more than anyone, knew exactly how much Dan’s desertion had hurt her.

“Lots of other fish in the sea, Nana,” Shannon said. “And sometimes you need to try another sea.”

Nana Beck sighed at that. “Well, I keep praying for all you grandchildren. That you will all make better choices than my daughters did. That you will make the kind of choice your great-great-grandfather August Beck did.”

Shannon walked over to their grandmother and dropped a light kiss on her forehead. “That means a lot to us, Nana.” She gave her grandmother the bowl of beans. “Why don’t you put this on the table in the dining room and when Hailey is finished butchering that chicken, we can eat.”

“I’ve got things under control,” Hailey protested, even as she struggled to cut the breast away from the bone.

Shannon put her hand on Hailey’s shoulder and gave her a knowing look. “I sure hope so, little sister.”

Hailey caught the questioning subtext in her sister’s comment and looked away.

She sure hoped she had things under control. Seeing Dan every day would create a challenge to keeping her heart whole.

But she had to. She just had to keep thinking of leaving Hartley Creek and starting over in a new job in a new city. It was the only way she would get through the next few months.

Hailey shifted her backpack on her shoulder, then took the first steps up the flight of wooden stairs hugging the brick wall at the back of Hartley Creek Hardware Store. A cutting winter wind whistled around her ears and through the open zipper of her down-filled jacket. She wrested the sides of her coat together, as memories emerged with each step up the stairs.

When she and Dan were dating they would take turns doing homework at each other’s place. When her mother was gone, which was frequently, Hailey would come to Dan’s place. They would sit beside each other, papers spread over the table, a plate of fresh-baked cookies in front of them.

Mostly, though, she and Dan would just hold hands under the table and whisper to each other. They would make up scenarios and weave plans.

Dan would become a partner with his father in the store. Hailey would work at the ski hill until the kids came.

Hailey’s steps faltered as she made her way up the stairs, her hand clinging to the wooden rail.

Okay, Lord. I know doing this will bring up many memories, but that’s long over. Done. We were just kids then. We’ve both moved on to different places. We’re both different people. Please help me remember that.

She waited a moment, as if to give the prayer time to wing its way upward, then she followed it up the rest of the stairs. She rapped on the door, then hugged her coat around her, glancing over her shoulder at the mountains surrounding the town.

From here she could barely make out the The Shadow Woman. The contours of her face and body would show up better in the latter part of summer and even more clearly from just the right spot on Carter’s ranch, the old family place.

Melancholy drifted through her. By August, she would be leaving Hartley Creek.

The creak of the door opening made her turn around.

Once again, Dan stood in front of her. She caught the piney scent of his aftershave, the same one he always wore. The kind she had bought him when he’d started shaving.

His hair, still damp from the shower, curled a bit. He wore it shorter than he used to but the look suited his strong features and deep-set eyes.

“Hey,” was all he said, adding a curt nod. “Natasha will be right out. She’s cleaning up her bedroom.”

He stepped aside for Hailey to come in and as she looked around the apartment, she felt the brush of nostalgia. Her eyes flitted over the gray recliner, the overstuffed green couch and love seat, all facing the television perched on a worn wooden stand. Beyond that, through the arched doorway to the dining room, she saw the same heavy wooden table and matching chairs with their padded brocade seats.

The same pictures still hung on the walls, the same knick-knacks filled the bookshelf along one wall of the living room.

“Looks like your parents still live here,” she said, dropping her backpack on the metal table in the front hallway and removing her jacket.

“Mom and Dad wanted a fresh start when they moved out,” Dan said, reaching for her coat. “They took only a few things to the new house.”

As Dan took her coat, their fingers brushed. Just a light touch, inconsequential in any other circumstance, with any other person. Trouble was, Dan wasn’t just any other person.

Just as she had at church yesterday, she jerked her hand back, wrapping it around the other. “You probably want to get back to work.” Thankfully, her voice sounded brisk and businesslike, betraying none of the emotions that arose in his presence.

“Mom and Patricia have been downstairs for half an hour already,” Dan said as he hung her coat up in the cupboard beside the door. “I need to get going.”

Hailey nodded as she picked up her backpack with the assignments Megan had planned for Natasha. “I imagine the dining room is the best place to work.”

“That’s what I thought.” Dan shifted his feet, his hands in the front pockets of his pants, and Hailey wondered if the same memories of their past slipped through his mind. “I just want to tell you I appreciate you coming here. I know it keeps you from helping Megan.”

“I’m sure Natasha will be back at school in no time,” Hailey said with a breeziness she didn’t quite feel. “So Megan won’t be without my help for long.”

“I hope so. I’ll get Natasha.” Dan took a step back and then headed down the long, narrow hallway just off the living room.

She ambled over the worn carpet, then through the arched doorway to the dining room. The table was cleared off and she set her knapsack down on its polished wooden surface. Hailey zipped open the knapsack, glancing around as she pulled out her papers and books. The glass-fronted armoire in the dining room still held the same plates, teacups and serving bowls. Why had Mrs. Morrow left so much behind?

Then Hailey’s eyes fell on the row of school photographs marching along the facing wall.

Pictures of Dan ranged from a pudgy, freckle-faced kindergartner with a gap-toothed grin to the serious senior. Already in grade twelve he showed a hint of the man he had now become, with his deep-set eyes and strong chin.

Hailey was surprised at the little lift his pictures gave her. At the memories they evoked.

She turned her attention to the row of pictures below Dan’s. Austin’s narrow features grinned back at her from the school photos, his blue eyes sparkling with the mischief that typified his outlook on life, the complete opposite of his older, more serious brother.

But Austin’s series ended with a photograph from grade eleven. The year he died. Regret for might-have-beens twisted her stomach, then she turned, putting the pictures behind her.

“Miss Deacon, you came.” The bright voice of Natasha banished the memory. As the little girl bounded into the room, her brown hair bounced behind her.

Today Natasha wore a lime-green T-shirt tucked into torn blue jeans. A pair of sparkly yellow angel wings completed the look.

Obviously the little girl had chosen some of her own clothes today.

“Wow. Don’t you look spiffy,” Hailey said, trying not to smile too hard at her ensemble.

“These are my favorite wings,” Natasha announced as she lifted the wand in her hand and performed an awkward twirl, almost knocking over a plant stand in the process.

“Natasha, please, no dancing in the house,” Dan said, catching the rocking houseplant and setting it out of reach of her wings. “I’d like you to go take off your fairy wings.”

Quick as a flash Natasha’s good mood morphed into a sullen glare. “I like my wings and you said I couldn’t wear them to school. But this isn’t school.”

“This is like school,” Dan said, kneeling down in front of her. “And I want you to behave for Miss Deacon.”

Natasha caught the end of her hair and twirled it around her finger, her attention on the books on the table and not on what her father was saying. “Are those mine?” she asked.

“Yes. They are.” Hailey glanced at her watch. “And it’s almost time for us to start.”

“But first the fairy wings come off,” Dan insisted.

“I want to keep them on,” she protested, wiggling away from him.

Dan cradled her face in his hands and turned her to face him. “Sorry, honey, but now it’s time for school, not time for pretending. Now I have to go to work and you have to stay up here, but I’ll be back at lunchtime, okay?”

Natasha pouted but then it seemed the fight went out of her. “Okay, Daddy. But you’ll be right downstairs, won’t you?”

Dan nodded, tucking a tangle of hair behind her ear. Then he brushed a gentle kiss over her forehead. “Love you, munchkin,” he said as he slipped the wings off her shoulders.

“Love you, punchkin,” she repeated with a giggle.

Dan set the wings aside and smoothed her hair again, smiling at her, the love for his daughter softening his features.

Hailey swallowed as she watched the scene between them. She always knew Dan would make a good father.

Her heart twisted a moment with old sorrow and old regrets and a flurry of other questions. Why had Dan married Lydia? Why had he moved on so quickly from her to another woman?

She pressed her eyes shut a moment, as if to close her mind to the past.

It was none of her business, she reminded herself.

And it was a bleak reminder that what she and Dan had was dead and gone.




Chapter Four


“I don’t want to do math now. I hate math.” Natasha pushed her chair away from the table, the wooden legs screeching over the worn linoleum. She folded her arms over her chest as she pushed out her lower lip.

For the past hour Hailey had been working with Natasha on math problems and all they had to show for the time were some princess doodles on the bottom of the page and one measly solved problem. Which made Hailey wonder how much homeschooling Lydia had done.

“Don’t say hate. Say instead that you don’t like math,” Hailey corrected, picking up the pencil Natasha had tossed on the table. “We want to save the word hate for really big things.”

Natasha shot her a puzzled glance. “What big things?”

Hailey held the pencil out to Natasha, waiting for her to take it. “Big things like sin and killing and saying bad things about God.”

Natasha pursed her lips, as if pondering this, then tossed her brown hair over her shoulder and took the pencil from Hailey.

“My mommy said there’s no such thing as God,” Natasha said, doodling a princess in one corner of the paper.

Hailey wasn’t sure what to say as she watched Natasha add a crown to the princess’s head. She didn’t want to disparage Natasha’s memory of her mother, but she was fairly sure Dan disagreed with Lydia’s beliefs. He’d always had a strong faith in God. At least he had until the day of Austin’s death.

Natasha wiggled a bit, then put her pencil down. “I have to go the bathroom,” she said, slipping off her chair before Hailey could stop her.

Hailey let her go. Finding routine would take time with a little girl who didn’t seem to know the meaning of the word.

As Hailey gathered up the pencils Natasha had scattered over the table, her eyes were drawn to the pictures on the wall of Austin and Dan.

She drew in a long, slow breath, stifling the painful memories resurrected by Austin’s face. So easily she remembered the day Austin died.

The three of them, Dan, Hailey and Austin, had been snowboarding together. Hailey had gotten separated from Dan and Austin in the lineup for the chairlift and, by the time she got to the top of the hill, only Dan was waiting for her. He told her that Austin had gone off on his own.

Dan and Hailey had spent most of the afternoon on the runs at the top of the mountain, and they got to the bottom only to find out that Austin had gone out of bounds on a black diamond run and had gone over a rocky ledge.

He had died instantly.

And right after that Dan and Hailey’s relationship had fallen apart.

“I’m done,” Natasha announced, coming back to the room.

The little girl’s voice broke into the thoughts flashing through Hailey’s mind. She pulled her hands over her face as if wiping them away. She needed to get out of this apartment and the memories it evoked. And from the way Natasha had been struggling to concentrate the past hour, she needed to go out too.

Hailey made a quick decision.

“You know what we’re going to do?” Hailey asked, gathering up the papers and the pencils. “We’re going to do some schoolwork downstairs.”

Natasha jumped up eagerly, then frowned. “My daddy said he doesn’t want me in the store. He said I make problems.”

“I’ll be with you.” Hailey picked up a folder and slipped the papers inside.

“But my daddy—” Natasha protested again.

“I’ll talk to your daddy and help him to understand,” Hailey said with more assurance than she felt.

All morning the little girl had been unable to concentrate on even the simplest problems. Maybe a different method of teaching was in order. And Hailey had just the idea of how this was to be done.

“First I have to put on my wings,” Natasha said.

Hailey didn’t bother to stop her. One step at a time, she reminded herself.

A few moments later, wings firmly in place, she and Natasha were headed down the narrow stairs inside the apartment leading to the store below.

“We have to be quiet,” Hailey whispered. “We don’t want your daddy to get angry with us.”

Hailey pushed open the door and was greeted by the buzz of conversation and the chiming of the cash register as Dan’s mother rang up another sale.

The wooden floor creaked under her feet as she and Natasha crept toward the bins at the back of the store, where Hailey knew they wouldn’t be in anyone’s way. She couldn’t see Patricia or Dan. So far, so good.

“The Makita is a good choice,” she heard Dan’s deep voice say on the other side of the aisle. “You won’t regret it.”

“That’s my daddy,” Natasha called out and pulled her hand free before Hailey could stop her. Natasha’s glittery wings bounced as she jogged down the aisle. As she rounded the corner, one wing caught the edge of a toolbox and stopped her headlong rush. As Natasha lost her balance, the box toppled toward her and knocked her over. She sat a moment, looking shocked, and then her wounded cries reverberated through the store.

“Natasha. What are you doing here? Where’s Miss Deacon?”

Hailey caught up to Natasha at the same time as Dan, not surprised at the suppressed anger in his voice. Hailey pulled the box off Natasha and Dan pulled his now-sobbing daughter up into his arms. He brushed her tangled hair off her face, looking her over as she kept crying.

“I think she’s more scared than hurt,” Hailey said over Natasha’s wails, trying to put the box back on the shelf.

“What is she doing down here?” Dan asked as he tucked Natasha’s head against his neck. Then, behind Dan, Hailey caught the curious glance of the customer Dan had been helping. Great. Carter’s gray eyes sparkled with mischief and the smirk on her cousin’s face told her that whatever happened here would be reported posthaste to Nana, her sister Shannon and Carter’s fiancée, Emma.

“Thanks for the help, Dan,” Carter said. “I’ll go pay for this.”

“Let me know how that drill works out for you,” Dan replied, the scowl on his face showing Hailey how bothered he was at this interruption.

Carter winked at Hailey, then left, his cowboy boots echoing on the wooden floor.

“So why are you here?” Dan set Natasha on the floor, his scowl deepening. “I hired you so I wouldn’t have to deal with these kinds of distractions.”

“Natasha has been having difficulty staying focused, so I thought we could try some hands-on problem solving.” Hailey strived to sound as though she was in control of the situation.

“I thought your job was to get her to stay focused?” Dan growled.

Hailey put on her most pleasant expression and nodded. “This is a transition time.”

Dan’s hazel eyes narrowed. “I still don’t see how bringing her down here and disrupting things will help her.”

Hailey forced herself to stay calm and not get pulled into the challenge she saw in his gaze. “I’ll make sure she stays out of your way and doesn’t bother customers. It’s just for a few moments, to give her a bit of a break.”

Dan shook his head. “I prefer if you keep her upstairs. She has to learn to stay on task. That’s what I hired you for.”

“You also hired me to use my judgment, right?” She forced a smile, hoping she didn’t sound as contrary as she felt.

Dan didn’t return her smile. “I hired you to do what I want. Right now I want you to take her upstairs and work with her there. Goofing around in the store won’t help her make the transition.”

He held her gaze a beat, as if to reinforce what he’d said.

Though every part of her rebelled, Hailey guessed this was not the time and place to argue with him.

Natasha pulled on her hand. “Can we go do my schoolwork now?”

Lowering her shoulders Hailey took a deep breath to relax. She’d have to find a better time to have this discussion with Dan. But they would have it. He had hired her to do a job and if he didn’t like her methods, then he would have to find someone else.

“We’re going back upstairs, sweetie,” Hailey said, putting her hands on Natasha’s shoulders.

“I don’t like it in the ‘partment. I want to be here with my daddy.”

Well, your daddy doesn’t want you to be here with him.

Hailey knew that wasn’t entirely true. Dan had his own ideas of how Natasha should be schooled but, unfortunately, they didn’t coincide with hers.

“I like this sandwich.” Natasha grinned as she looked up from the plate Hailey had set in front of her. “How did you make it look like a rabbit?”

“Your grandmother has a great big cookie cutter in the shape of a rabbit,” Hailey said. She remembered when Dan’s mother had brought the cookie cutter up from the store. Dan and Austin had teased Mrs. Morrow about the humongous cookies she would be making with them and how fat they would all get eating rabbit cookies.

The memory teased up other emotions, which she fought down with a sense of dismay. Was this how it would be for the rest of her time teaching Natasha? Old memories and old emotions constantly assaulting her?

She took a quick breath. Just get through it.

“Aren’t you making a sandwich?” Natasha asked, swinging her feet as she picked up her rabbit.

“Not for me. I’m going to eat with some friends at a café,” Hailey said, just as the stairway door creaked open.

Dan stepped into the apartment, talking on his cell phone. “I needed that order yesterday,” he said as he bent over Natasha’s head and gave her a kiss.

When Hailey got back from the kitchen with the sandwich she had made for him, he had finished his phone call.

“How was your morning, munchkin?” Dan asked, sitting down beside Natasha as Hailey set a plate in front of him. “Did you get lots of work done?”

“I got bored and then I got sad.” Natasha delivered the comment with a sorrowful look Dan’s way, and just in case he didn’t get that, she added a dramatic sniff.

“What were you sad about?”

“My mommy.”

Dan pulled the corner of his lip between his teeth, then pointed to the plate in front of her. “But look at the cool sandwich Miss Deacon made for you. It looks like … a rabbit?” He shot Hailey a puzzled look.

“I used that old cookie cutter of your mother’s.”

“She still has it around?” Dan’s mouth quirked up in a grin, which didn’t help Hailey’s equilibrium around him. She’d thought he would still be upset with her for taking Natasha downstairs. It appeared she’d been forgiven.

“I thought it would make her sandwich more interesting,” Hailey returned, wrapping her purple sweater around herself. “So, if you guys are good, I’m heading down to Mug Shots for lunch.”

Dan’s puzzled expression held a touch of relief. The awkwardness between them was palpable and she guessed he would be more comfortable if she left.

“Sure. Thanks a lot for the sandwich. You didn’t have to do that.”

“I didn’t mind,” Hailey said, walking to the cupboard to get her coat.

“No. You can’t go,” Natasha cried out. “You have to stay and eat with us. Daddy always says it’s important to eat together.”

Hailey gave the little girl a gentle smile as she pulled her coat on. “Your dad was talking about families eating together,” she said, pulling her hair free from the collar. “Which you are doing right now. You and your daddy are a family.”

Natasha turned to Dan, grabbing his arm and giving it a tug. “Tell her she has to stay. Tell her, Daddy.”

Conflicting emotions flitted across Dan’s features.

Hailey held up her hand, forestalling his answer and giving him an out. “No. I should go. I have some friends waiting for me I want to visit with.” Not entirely true, but there was bound to be someone she knew hanging around Mug Shots.

As she zipped up her jacket, Dan’s cell phone rang.

Dan answered it, then, as he spoke, glanced up at Hailey, frowning. “Yeah, I guess I can,” he said. He ended the call, then eased out a sigh as he held her eyes. “That was Jess Schroder. I need to meet him down at the lumberyard in twenty minutes.”

Hailey bit her lip as she checked the clock. “That doesn’t give me enough time to get to the coffee shop, eat and come back.” She hesitated a moment more, then accepted the inevitable. “I guess I better eat lunch here,” she said, unzipping her coat.

“Sorry about that,” Dan said. “I’ll make sure you get a break tomorrow.”

She just nodded, then returned to the kitchen to make a sandwich for herself. She took her time, not sure she wanted to sit down at the table with Dan and Natasha. The situation smacked of domesticity.

She brought her sandwich to the table, sat down, then bowed her head, her hair falling like a curtain around her flushed cheeks. Dear Lord, just help me get through this, she prayed. Help me act around Dan like I would around any other guy. And bless this food, please, and thanks for all the blessings I have.

She waited a moment, as if to let the prayer settle. When she looked up she caught Dan’s enigmatic expression. She knew what he was thinking. At one time church, God and praying had not figured prominently in her life.

I’m not the irresponsible and goofy girl I used to be, she wanted to say.

Though she kept her thoughts to herself, she was unable to look away, unable to stop the tender stirring in her chest of older emotions. Older attractions.

“Why were you looking at your sandwich?” Natasha asked.

Hailey broke the connection, smiling at Natasha’s confusion. “I was praying a blessing on my food.”




Конец ознакомительного фрагмента.


Текст предоставлен ООО «ЛитРес».

Прочитайте эту книгу целиком, купив полную легальную версию (https://www.litres.ru/carolyne-aarsen/daddy-lessons-39909530/) на ЛитРес.

Безопасно оплатить книгу можно банковской картой Visa, MasterCard, Maestro, со счета мобильного телефона, с платежного терминала, в салоне МТС или Связной, через PayPal, WebMoney, Яндекс.Деньги, QIWI Кошелек, бонусными картами или другим удобным Вам способом.