Be My Babies
Be My Babies
Kathryn Shay
Be My Babies
Kathryn Shay
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Table of Contents
Cover (#u1967c0af-5225-5c07-967c-8ce925ad45ef)
Title Page (#u1e19cf95-33fe-5a08-91b5-c13e6d453fcf)
About The Author (#ud9924d96-8957-5993-b078-b6a79d6ce31c)
Dedication (#u691be062-ed2c-53be-8d8e-2f65f01224cc)
Chapter One (#ubfece935-5033-56b5-b796-f65cebd71600)
Chapter Two (#u5f102d04-4f18-5377-88bf-33121c669068)
Chapter Three (#u7aac5ca5-536a-5a4b-b659-2fcdd011301f)
Chapter Four (#u87786986-8c03-5000-a2b1-3a3489a60bfa)
Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fifteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Sixteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seventeen (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
Kathryn Shay is a lifelong writer. At fifteen, she penned her first “romance,” a short story about a female newspaper reporter in New York City and her fight to make a name for herself in a world of male journalists - and with one hardheaded editor, in particular. Looking back, Kathryn says she should have known then that writing was in her future.
Kathryn has become known for her powerful characterisations - readers say they feel they know the people in her books - and her heart-wrenching, emotional writing. (Her favourite comments are that fans cried while reading her books or stayed up late to finish them.) In testament to her skill, the author has won five Romantic Times BookClub Magazine Reviewers’ Choice Awards, three Holt Medallions, two Desert Quill Awards, the Golden Leaf Award and several online accolades.
She lives in upstate New York with her husband and two children.
To Patrick Hoff. May you grow up to be the kind of hero in this book.
Chapter One
STANDING OUTSIDE the Sentinel, Lily Wakefield slid the crumpled yellowed article from her purse and held it up in front of the old brick edifice. The newspaper office looked more or less the same as it had when her mother, Cameron, clipped the picture just before she left Fairview, New York, carrying a suitcase containing practical clothes, serviceable shoes and one hundred dollars. Now, Lily stood before the building in her Prada sandals, DKNY slacks and tailored jacket, with about the same amount of cash in her wallet. The Louis Vuitton bag at her side held a few more outfits, but only as many as she could carry.
Someone bumped into her, said, “Excuse me,” and kept going.
Lily nodded and stayed where she was.
About five feet away, the man turned back. “Are you all right?”
“What? Oh, yes.”
Glancing up at the sky, he frowned. “Looks like we’re in for one of those April showers.” His comment was underscored by a draft of wind that lifted and swirled her dark chin-length hair around her face. He pointed to the office. “There’s a pot of coffee in there and some homemade cookies that Mrs. Billings made. Want to come in?”
“Um, yes, I guess I do. Thanks.”
Bending down, he picked up her suitcase before she could take hold of it and walked alongside her toward the front doors.
It’s a beautiful place. It used to be an old home, and then it was converted into the newspaper offices. In the front reception and waiting area, there’s a fireplace, a comfortable couch and chairs, and a worn desk like the kind you’d see in reruns of the old TV show, Superman. I used to love to go there after school and wait for Daddy to be done with work.
What Lily’s mother hadn’t told her, and what she only figured out years later, was that Cameron would have done anything to delay going home to her own mother.
Once they were inside, the man motioned to the couch. “Please, sit down.” When she’d seated herself, he added, “I’m Simon McCarthy.”
“Lily Wakefield.”
“Nice to meet you.” Again, he smiled. His hazel eyes did, too. “Would you like some coffee?”
“I—I can’t have that.”
“Oh.” When Lily said no more, he asked, “How about tea?”
“Decaffeinated would be okay. Lovely, really, but don’t fuss.”
“No problem.” He went into the back room, and while he was gone Lily studied her surroundings. The windows let in the afternoon breeze, along with the chirping of the birds in the leafy maple trees outside. Engraved plaques hung on the wall before her, citing the Sentinel and its editor for various good works. Pictures were interspersed with the awards describing the accomplishments of the paper and its reporters. A few minutes later, Simon returned with a steaming mug. Lily took the cup and sniffed. Mmm. Cinnamon. “Thank you so much.” It had been a long time since a man had waited on her.
When she said nothing more, he sat down on a chair opposite her. “Is there a reason you were out there just staring at the building?” He nodded to the suitcase. “With that?”
Her stomach churned. She prayed she wouldn’t get sick all over this total stranger. “Yes.” She glanced up at one of the pictures she’d noticed earlier. Its headline read, Gardner Garners The Gold—Best Of Small-town Newspapers. From other photos she’d seen, she recognized the man. “I’m looking for him, Gil Gardner.”
Simon tracked her gaze. “I’m not quite sure where he is today.”
“Is he out on a story?”
“No, he doesn’t cover the news anymore.” Sandy eyebrows were raised. They matched his short, dark blond hair, which had a bit of curl. “He’s at the office sometimes, but he doesn’t do much reporting.”
“Doesn’t he own the paper?”
“Yeah, he’s still the owner. But I run the place. I’m editor in chief.” He chuckled self-effacingly. “And a lot of other things. Our staff is small and the tasks are many.”
Because she still wasn’t ready to explain herself to him, she dodged his question about why she was here and said only, “I’m sure newspaper work is taxing.”
His gaze narrowed on her. “Do you know Gil?”
“I’ve never met him, no.” Her hands began to tremble. Steaming tea sloshed over onto her fingers.
“Here.” He handed her a handkerchief pulled from his pocket.
“Thanks.”
“Why are you shaking?”
“I’m fine. Listen, could you call my…call Gil? I need to see him.”
“I guess I could.”
She noticed he had Gil’s number on speed dial. Who would be in Lily’s top five these days? A paltry few. But it was her own fault for letting her life unfold as it had. And now when she needed help, she was going to have to turn to strangers. The thought scared her to death.
Simon was frowning as he spoke into the phone. “Yeah, Gil, it’s me, Simon. I need you to come to the office as soon as you get this message. I’ll explain why then.” He clicked off.
“Thank you, Mr. McCarthy.”
“A lot of cloak-and-dagger,” he said easily.
“I suppose. But I have my reasons.”
“What are they?”
“I’d rather not say.” Lily was a private person by nature, and she was particularly embarrassed by her present circumstances. And though he seemed nice enough, who knew what this man’s relationship was with Gil?
The bell over the door sounded and Simon and Lily looked toward it. A teenager stepped inside. “Dad?”
Even if the girl hadn’t uttered the word, Lily would have known immediately that she was Simon’s daughter. Same tawny hair, although hers hung almost to her waist. Same hazel eyes. Nose, a feminine version of his. She had an aura about her, too, making Lily want to sketch her.
“Hi, honey.” He introduced her to Lily.
“Grandpa Gil’s coming in behind me. Katie and I were walking home and he picked us up. It’s starting to drizzle.”
The cup jerked and tea sloshed again. “Grandpa?” Lily asked.
Jenna smiled. “Not my real grandpa, but he’s like one.”
Lily got the drift. In other words, Gil had found a replacement. Well, why not? So had Derek.
Again, the door opened, and in walked a tall, lanky man with a full head of salt-and-pepper hair and blue eyes just like Lily’s mother’s. And her own. Lily felt her heart thump in her chest at finally seeing Gil in person.
“Hi, everyone.” He focused on Lily. “Who’s our gu—” Before he could finish his statement, Gil’s complexion paled and he grabbed on to the high table just inside the door.
Jumping up from his chair, Simon rushed over to him. “Gil, is it your heart again?”
“Grandpa?” Jenna sounded afraid, too.
Gil’s mouth was slack-jawed as he stared at Lily. Finally, he said, “Not like you mean.”
“What, Gil?”
“It’s my heart, but not like you mean.” Letting go of Simon, he crossed the room. “Who are you? You look just like my daughter, Cameron.”
“I know I do. I’m her daughter, Lily.”
SIMON WATCHED IN AWE—and with a little bit of horror— as tears filled Gil’s eyes. In the almost thirty years he’d known the man, he’d never once seen him cry. “Gil, are you all right?”
“Grandpa?” Jenna’s tone was even more worried.
“You’re Cami’s girl?”
Lily stood. She couldn’t tear her gaze from him, either. “Yes, I am. I’m sorry to spring myself on you unannounced.”
His face was still ashen. “I know…I know Cami died. We found out through a lawyer. But…she had a daughter? The only thing she ever wrote to us was that she hadn’t gone through with her pregnancy.”
Now, Lily Wakefield’s face paled and she reseated herself. “That’s new information to me.” She bit her lip. “I realize this is a shock, Mr. Gardner.”
After a moment, Gil, also, took a chair. Simon followed suit, while Jenna sat on the opposite end of the couch from Lily. “I—I didn’t know,” Gil repeated.
Lily glanced nervously at Simon. “Is there somewhere we can go to talk privately?”
“What? Oh, no need for that. Simon and Jenna are like family. I want them to hear what you have to say.”
Frown lines around the woman’s mouth told Simon that she wasn’t pleased by Gil’s answer. Who cared? No way was he leaving Gil alone with this stranger who claimed to be his granddaughter. She could be anybody.
Sighing, she drew a sheaf of papers from her purse. “I have documentation to verify who I am.”
When Gil didn’t take what she offered, but just stared at her, Simon snatched the papers from her hand. Birth certificate for Liliana Clarkson. Mother, Cameron Gardner Clarkson. Father unknown. There were also pictures. Photocopied drivers’ licenses, social security cards for Lily and her mother, a passport. And a picture of a young girl with Gil in his youth. “They seem in order.” Simon would have his sister, Sara, a lawyer in town, check them out, though. Documents could be forged and stories made up. He’d arrange a background check on this woman, at least.
“Do you have any idea what a gift you’ve brought me?” Gil finally asked her.
“Have I?” Lily’s gaze hardened almost imperceptively. “You didn’t stay in touch with your own daughter.”
Jenna gasped, and Gil’s face reddened. “It sounds horrible. It is horrible.”
Simon sat forward. “Gil, you know what happened with Cameron wasn’t all your fault.”
“It was all my fault. No one will ever convince me otherwise.”
Simon was not only wary now, but anger bubbled inside him. If what this woman said was true, she’d surely resent what had happened to her mother, and rightfully so. But given that, her motive for coming to Fairview couldn’t be good. Who could possibly forgive that kind of abandonment? “Is this why you came here—to make accusations at Gil? To hurt him with them?”
Lily focused on her grandfather. “I don’t want to hurt you. That’s not why I’m here.”
“Why, then?” Simon knew his tone was too harsh, but he worried about Gil—especially after his heart attack a few years ago. He’d protect Gil from Lily Wakefield, even if Gil wouldn’t protect himself.
“Dad?”
“Simon…” Gil admonished.
But Lily held up her hand. “I’ll answer his question.” She looked around. “But privately. I don’t feel comfortable baring my soul in front of strangers.”
Gil stood. “Then come with me. My house isn’t far.” To Simon he said, “I’ll call you later.”
Simon watched them go out the door. He had a feeling this wasn’t going to be good, and he hated it when he couldn’t keep the people he loved safe.
“Dad, is Grandpa Gil gonna be okay?”
“I hope so, honey. I hope so.”
TAKING IN A DEEP BREATH, Gil faced his granddaughter over the kitchen table in the home where her mother had grown up. No, that was wrong. Cami hadn’t finished growing up here. Alice hadn’t given her the chance to, and part of the whole ugly chain of events involved the fact that Gil himself had allowed his wife to have her way regarding their daughter. As he’d told Simon, his role in what happened was something for which he’d never forgive himself.
“Are you comfortable, Lily? In that straight chair?”
“Yes. My back feels better in one of these.” She sipped the tea he’d fixed her, while he made strong coffee for himself.
“Then talk to me. Tell me why you’ve come here.”
Shaking back her hair, Lily held his gaze. “I’m here because I’m pregnant and I have nowhere else to go.”
Gil froze. Oh, my God, just like Cameron. For a few moments, he couldn’t speak. Finally, he recovered his equilibrium. “What about the baby’s father?”
“Babies.”
“Excuse me?”
Her smile was as broad and generous as his daughter’s had been before things went bad. “I’m having twins.”
“Twins? That’s great.” What to say? “Are you feeling well?”
“I am.” She placed her hand on her abdomen. “The first trimester was hard, but it’s been better this past month.”
He felt awkward talking about this but he forged ahead. “How far into the pregnancy are you?”
“Four months.”
She didn’t look it. She was thin, and her complexion was pale. Her makeup was perfect, however, and her dark hair was stylishly cut. Yet, despite the sophisticated exterior, there was a vulnerability about her that tugged at his heart.
“Twins don’t always go full-term, but I’m going to make sure mine do.”
“You didn’t answer my question about the father.”
“He’s in no condition to help us now.” She drew in a deep breath. “So I came to you.”
Why she’d even ask him after what he did—or didn’t do—for her mother was beyond Gil. But maybe, in some convoluted way, Lily Wakefield showing up here was a chance for Gil to make up for having let his daughter down when she was having a child. “I can and I will,” he said instinctively. “I’ll do whatever you want. Is it money?”
“No! I didn’t come for a handout.”
He recoiled. “I didn’t mean it that way.”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t snap at you.”
He drank his coffee and measured his words. She should be doing more than snapping at him. “Then what do you need from me, Lily? What can I do for you?”
“For now, a place to live, until I can find a job. I’d like to look for one in Fairview, if you wouldn’t mind my staying in town.”
“I’d love to have you in Fairview—and in my home, for as long as you want. But should you be working?”
“Pregnant women have been working for centuries.”
Stalling for time, he got up and poured himself more coffee, let its strong scent waft up to him. “I don’t want to rush you. I’m in foreign waters here. You’ll have to tell me what’s best for you.”
“That’s a switch.”
He pivoted to face her. “What?”
“In the situation I came from, nobody cared much about what I wanted.”
“Do you want to tell me about that first?”
Her slate-blue eyes grew shadowed. “No, not yet.”
“All right. Will you tell me about Cami and your life together? I never knew how she fared.”
“Nobody called her Cami.”
“No? I guess it was only my pet name for her.”
Lily shook her head. “You talk about her so…warmly, but I know she was kicked out of her home when she got pregnant.”
“That’s not exactly what happened.”
“It’s what she told me.”
“We sent her away to have the baby at a place for unmarried girls who were pregnant.”
“She saw that as the same thing. In any case, she didn’t blame you—just her mother. She talked about you in a kind way, too, which is why I felt I could come here.”
“Where did she go when she left Fairview?”
Lily fidgeted. Shifted in her seat. “Downstate. I grew up in New York City. She worked there as a waitress. She died in a bus accident.”
With his newsman’s instinct, Gil read Lily easily. Either what she said wasn’t true or it wasn’t the whole story. “I have no information at all on her life after she left us.”
“She wanted it that way.” Lily yawned. “I’m sorry—it’s been a long day. Would you mind if I rested a bit?”
“The house has several bedrooms. You can take your pick.”
Now those eyes, so much like his daughter’s that it made his heart ache, clouded over. “Would the one where my mother stayed be okay?”
“More than okay.” He smiled, but he felt as if somebody had kicked him in the gut. “It’s been redone.” Alice had said it was better that way. “But I saved Cami’s things.”
“I—I didn’t expect that.” She yawned again. “Oh, excuse me.”
Standing, he set his empty mug in the sink and rinsed it. “Give me a minute to go tidy up the room. Put on sheets, air it out a bit.”
“I can do that myself.”
“Please, Lily. Let me.”
“All right.” Gil had crossed to the doorway, when she said, “I don’t know what to call you.”
Grandpa. Please, call me Grandpa. He smiled over his shoulder. “Whatever’s comfortable for you.”
She nodded. “Thanks for not pushing—about that or what’s happened to me.”
“You’re welcome. I meant what I said about being given a gift.”
This time around, he planned to embrace it.
“WHY’S SHE HERE, DAD?”
Ah, the sixty-four-thousand-dollar question. “I don’t know, honey, except for what Gil told me when he called.”
At the long counter, Jenna was tearing lettuce to make a salad while Simon put rigatoni into boiling water at the stove. The scent of the meat sauce his daughter had made over the weekend spiced up the whole sunny kitchen.
Jenna’s thick braid swung back and forth as she shook her head. “It must be scary, being pregnant and having no place to go.” She frowned. “Why didn’t Grandpa Gil ever know about Lily?”
Though she was still young and innocent by today’s standards for a teenage girl, Jenna was sixteen. Old enough to know the truth and learn about the foibles of people she loved and admired. He was chagrined to think that she didn’t know about his own. Turning the heat down on the pasta, he crossed to the bar that jutted out from the counter. “Sit a minute, honey.”
They took stools opposite each other. “Gil’s daughter left home when she was sixteen.”
“No way. Dad, that’s my age.”
“I know. What’s more, she was pregnant.”
“With Lily? Then, why didn’t Grandpa know about her?”
He explained about Alice and Gil’s decision. “Actually, Cameron never went to the home. She ran away.”
“Grandpa Gil did that?”
“It was more his wife’s decision. You didn’t know Alice.”
“Did you?”
“Only after Cameron left. She was a stern woman—a strong believer in propriety and paying for your sins.”
“She sent her own kid away to punish her?” Jenna said the words as if she couldn’t quite grasp the concept. As her father, Simon was glad Jenna found the behavior incomprehensible.
“I’ve always thought so. And to avoid scandal. Her parents, the Caldwells, were well-known in Fairview. You know the term pillars of the community?”
Jenna nodded.
“That’s what her family was.”
“Yours, too, Dad. Everybody in town still talks about how great your mom and dad were.”
Simon smiled. He’d adored his mother, Catherine, who’d been a teacher, and his guidance counselor father, Patrick, had been his best friend. When they were killed in a boating accident, Simon had been twenty and he’d walked around in a daze for months, mourned them for years. He’d always vowed to be as good a father as his own had been.
“My parents were well loved, but they didn’t have the clout of the Caldwells. They had a lot of money. They owned the Sentinel, as well as some stores in the area. Gil said Alice was trying to avoid embarrassing the family, so they told everybody Cameron was going away to a private school.”
“What happened when she never came back?”
“The real story seeped out. People got wind of the pregnancy. Ironically, it wasn’t a big deal to anyone but Alice, and gossip died quickly. Her parents survived just fine. But Alice went a little crazy.”
“She doesn’t sound like the kind of person Grandpa Gil would marry.”
“She had her good traits. She did a lot of charitable work in her church. But she grew more severe as she got older.”
“Huh.”
“Between trying to run the paper and deal with his wife, Gil was a wreck.”
Jenna’s brows furrowed. “He should have stood up for his daughter, Dad. It sucks that he didn’t.”
“I think it’s best not to judge people, Jen.” Especially not their marriages. “We know the broad strokes, but not all of what happened.”
His daughter studied him.
Simon took her hand. “You know, don’t you, that you could never do anything that would make me send you away?”
Her eyes twinkled. “Even if I dated that motorcycle guy who just moved here from the city?”
“What motorcycle…” He stopped. “You’re teasing.”
“Yep. You’re an easy mark, Dad. You need a life.”
They both stood, and from behind he got her in a headlock. Kissed her hair. “You, little girl, can be a brat.”
“I love you, Daddy. Now come on, let’s eat.”
The meal was satisfying, and Simon enjoyed his daughter’s company. Even if she didn’t know all his foibles, what his life had really been like before Marian died. He wondered briefly if she’d ever be old enough to handle those details?
LILY’S GRANDFATHER looked over at her when she came to the doorway of the kitchen. He was stirring something at the stove and it smelled heavenly. “Did you rest?” he asked.
“Yes, I fell asleep right away, but I’ve been up for a bit. I went through a few of the boxes you left on the dresser.” She couldn’t resist a glance into her mother’s past.
“Ah.” He adjusted the heat on the burner. “Ready for some supper?”
He seemed more uncomfortable than he’d been before she went upstairs. Nervous. Maybe he had had too much time to think about the history between them.
Dropping down into a kitchen chair, she watched him. “Do you mind talking about those boxes for a minute?”
“No. Of course not.” He leaned against the counter.
“I found a christening gown in the one marked baby things.” It had smelled musty, but it was beautifully preserved.
“Your great-grandmother made it. You can have it for one of your twins, if you want.”
“Maybe. Whose handwriting was in the baby book?”
“My wife, Alice’s. Your grandmother.”
Well, at least there had been some good times. Loving comments had been recorded about Cameron’s early development. As if he read her thoughts, Gil said aloud, “Those were happy years for us all.”
There was a second carton, marked Cameron’s School Days. It included pictures, drawings, some done with finger paint. A few notes from teachers. Report cards. Lily’s mother had been smart and well liked by her fifth grade class. Somebody had saved all that, too.
Lily held up a diary. “This was in the last box from my mother’s high school years. Along with a faded corsage, pictures with a few girls, things like that.”
Gil pushed off from the counter and got plates out of the cupboard. “Alice read it, looking for a clue to where Cami might have gone when she never showed up at the Sisters of Mercy home.”
“There’s not much in here.”
He retrieved silverware and set everything on the table. She sniffed when he set a bowl on the table. “Spaghetti?”
“Mmm. Jenna made it yesterday for me.” Gil sat at the table. “What were you looking for in the diary, Lily?”
“Information about my father.”
“I’m afraid we never knew who he was. Cami refused to tell us. That pregnancy capped off several bad years. Did you ever ask your mother about him?”
“Yes, but she didn’t tell me much.”
He was a boy I met in a bar outside of town, where I used a fake ID. He wasn’t interested in either you or me after I got pregnant and he left the area. I never heard from him again.
I’m sorry, Lily, but you should know the truth. Men— they’re not reliable. I hope you have better luck than I had, but there it is.
“I’m sorry,” Gil said. “I wish I could tell you more.”
Maybe that was for the best. Discussion of a father who didn’t want her made Lily realize she was depending on a man who’d left his own child fatherless.
Placing the diary on the oak table, Lily shook her head. “Guess we’ll never know who he was.”
“Does it matter now?”
She stared at him for a long time. “Fathers always matter.”
It was too bad that Gil Gardner hadn’t learned that sooner.
A SMALL READING LAMP illuminated the darkness as Simon sat at the desk in his den refiguring his finances. He’d awakened at 4:00 a.m. after a vivid nightmare. He’d dreamed that Lily Wakefield had taken ownership of the Sentinel and kicked him and Jenna out on the street. Not that he’d ever be destitute. Despite the fact that he was slowly buying up the paper’s shares and now owned a whopping thirty percent, he’d made sure he and Jenna had their nest egg. If he did lose the paper, he’d only have lost his dream and not his ability to take care of his daughter.
Still, here he was before dawn, adding up the numbers again. He shook his head. There was no way he could expedite this process. He’d just worked himself out of debt from Marian’s accident and Jenna’s medical bills. He tried to tell himself that was okay, that Gil had assured him there was no hurry. After his heart attack, Gil had even put it in his will that Simon had the option to buy the remaining stock if anything happened to him. He’d wanted to leave the paper outright to Simon and Jenna, but Simon had balked. As it was, Gil’s plan would guarantee that no one else could take over the Sentinel, especially a larger chain such as the Heard Corporation, which had already approached them about a buyout.
Now, the appearance of Lily Wakefield put a whole new spin on Simon taking ownership. Finally, he admitted that to himself. Though he was mostly worried about Gil, this possibility had been buzzing around in his subconscious since he’d met Lily yesterday.
He leaned back and sipped his coffee. Damn it, wasn’t even a single part of his life going to go easily?
Think about your priorities.
Jenna. She meant everything to him. Guilt, dark and ugly, reared its head. His daughter had been the most important person in the world to him since the day she’d been born, but he still hadn’t managed to protect her completely. Instead, when Marian had wrapped her car around that pole and hurt Jenna in the process, Simon had blamed himself. It was one of the reasons Simon understood Gil and his situation with Cameron so well.
But this time, when Simon had the chance to protect someone he loved, he was going to make damn sure he did it. And if Lily Wakefield got caught in the cross fire, so be it.
Chapter Two
LILY LAY BACK against the pillows and watched the morning sun stream in through her bedroom windows. The birds had awakened her at dawn, but she’d dozed off again. She couldn’t believe she was sleeping so much, or that she’d been so lazy all week since she’d arrived in Fairview. At home, in Westchester, having Derek to tend to, and, worse, his parents’ constant visits had kept her on edge and unable to relax or sleep well. She hadn’t realized how the anxiety of her life had affected her physically until she’d begun to feel better here, in the cocoon of her grandfather’s house.
There was a knock on her door, a light tapping, in case she was still asleep. This had become a morning routine— one she was beginning to cherish.
“I’m awake, Gil.”
Entering with a tray, he smiled. “Good morning. You look rested.”
“Completely.” She looked askance at what he carried. “I wish you wouldn’t do this.”
“You gave me a week to pamper you, and I’m thoroughly enjoying myself.”
At times like these, Lily couldn’t imagine Gil allowing her mother to leave his house and certainly never kicking her out. It just didn’t make sense. But yesterday he’d come clean with the fact that he had, indeed, let Alice send Cameron to the home for unwed mothers. He took full blame for it, which had eased somewhat her resentment of what he’d done. As did his confession that his daughter’s disappearance had caused him long-standing guilt and grief. He’d also tried to undo it, but ultimately he couldn’t find her. Though Lily would never understand what he’d done, she was coming to terms with his actions.
Now, he beamed as he approached the bed. “This is the last day I’ll spoil you.”
She glanced at the tray after he set it down and inhaled the scents of cinnamon and warm bread. “Oh, Lord, I love French toast.”
Gil cleared his throat. “So did your mother. We used to make it Saturday mornings before I went to work.”
Picking up a glass, she sipped the tart orange juice. “You worked Saturdays?”
“And Sundays.” He took a seat near the window. “In those days, I was a workaholic, Lily.”
“That’s what you implied yesterday.” She didn’t want the resurrection of the topic to ruin the morning, so instead she nodded to the tray. “I see you brought the paper.”
“Yeah, it looks great this week.”
“Simon’s a good editor?”
His eyes sparkled. “He learned from the best.”
“I’ll bet.” She settled her hand on the newsprint. “I’m going to look for a job today, Gil.”
“I wish you wouldn’t. There’s no need.”
“I can’t just laze in bed forever.”
“Why?”
“It isn’t right.”
“It might be right for the babies.”
“I won’t overdo it. I have to start taking control of my life.”
He checked his watch. “Jake is coming in an hour to pick me up for our bowling league. I’ve got time, if you want to tell me about that. About Derek.”
Lily had yet to reveal the reason she’d run away from her husband or tell Gil what really happened to her and Cameron all those years ago. Now might be the time to explain about Derek. But she didn’t know if she’d ever tell him the latter. Some things were better kept from a father.
She bit into the toast. It was delicious. “A shortened version, maybe. After I eat.”
When she finished her meal, Gil took the tray and put it on the dresser. Sitting back down, he said, “I’m listening.” He’d brought a mug of coffee for himself and he sipped from it as she talked.
“I met Derek after college. His family business was a big customer of the agency I worked for and Derek was at the firm a lot.”
“What business is he in?”
“Wakefield Enterprises.”
“Wow, I didn’t make the connection. Huge conglomerate.”
“They’re rich.” And spoiled and arrogant.
“So why do you need a job, Lily?”
“Because it’s the Wakefields’ money. When I left the house in Westchester, I took some clothes and my jewelry, but not even my car. I only took the jewelry because I needed a security blanket, and because I intend to pay my own medical bills when I have the babies.”
“What on earth brought you to this point?”
“Derek swept me off my feet. He was so charismatic, I didn’t stand a chance.” She could still remember a young black-haired, blue-eyed Derek wining and dining her, catering to her every whim, professing his undying love. She didn’t know until after they were married that this wasn’t the real Derek Wakefield, this wasn’t his true personality. She explained all this to her grandfather.
“Once we were together, he couldn’t keep up the facade. But by then it was too late, because I was crazy about him. I thought I could handle the negligence and self-centeredness.” She shook her head. “It wasn’t until we tried to have a child that things became unbearable.”
“You had problems…in that area?”
“Yes. Derek wouldn’t get tested, but there were no physical issues with me.” She shrugged. “Still, maybe I was too tense.”
“How did he feel when you told him you finally were pregnant?”
She waited a long time before she answered. “I didn’t.”
In her mind, she could still see their last scene together.
She’d come home from her doctor’s appointment elated, having waited to tell Derek about the pregnancy until she was past the miscarriage stage. That day, she’d rushed to his downstairs office, knocked and entered without waiting for a reply. And there he was…
“What are you doing?” she’d asked, horrified.
The traces of white powder still visible beneath his nose, and the paraphernalia on the desk answered her question.
“Get out of here. This is my business.”
“Derek, you can’t—”
“I said get the hell out.” He came around the desk as fast as a jaguar. When she didn’t move, he yelled, “I said, get out!”
“Derek, please.”
The slap came fast and it was hard enough to knock her back against the door. And for the first time Lily was afraid he’d hurt her and the babies.
She told Gil everything, except the part about Derek hitting her. For some reason, she couldn’t share that with him. “So I left.”
“Oh, Lily, I’m sorry.”
“Me, too. I’m going to file for a legal separation, but I need to get back on my feet again first, in case he isn’t agreeable.”
“Do you still care about him?”
“Derek was my first love, and I think I’ll always care about him. But now I have two children to protect.”
His eyes widened beneath bushy brows. “You’re not going to tell him about them?”
“I’m afraid for them, and truthfully, I’m afraid his parents might try to take them from me. I just don’t have everything figured out yet, Gil.”
“You’re not alone anymore. I’m here for you.” His eyes were sad. “I know I wasn’t there for your mother, but I learned what’s important.”
She wanted to believe that, but Lily had a hard time trusting men these days.
The doorbell rang. Rising, her grandfather said, “That’s Jake. I’ve got to go.”
“Tell him I made an appointment with Dr. Rabin.” Jake was Doc Jacobs, an established physician in town and Gil’s best friend. He had a young partner who was slowly taking over his practice. “The last time he came here, he insisted. I do need checkups.”
“I’ll tell him.” Leaning over, he kissed Lily’s head. It was the first time he’d done that. “I’ll be back this afternoon.”
“Enjoy bowling and lunch.”
After Gil left, Lily was feeling discomfited, probably because she still had some conflicted feelings about Gil’s role in her mother’s life. And because she’d talked about Derek. She’d tried to downplay that last encounter to Gil, but in reality the scene had been a nightmare. Getting out of the house unnoticed. Covering her tracks. Derek wouldn’t be able to trace her to Fairview because when she met him she’d been using the Clarkson name—which her mother had taken to protect her identity—and he’d never known Lily’s connection with the Gardners.
To dispel her anxiety, Lily opened the Sentinel to search for the classifieds. She’d feel better if she was doing something with her time.
The paper did look good, though with her art and advertising background, she couldn’t help thinking of improvements that could be made to the layout and design. The classifieds, especially, needed revamping. She began circling jobs that she could do and not be on her feet all day. There weren’t many. She was halfway through the ads when the phone rang, and she answered the extension by her bed. “Gardner residence.”
A hesitation. “Lily? This is Simon McCarthy. Is Gil there?”
“Ah, no. He just left to go bowling and have lunch with Doc Jacobs.”
“Damn.”
“Is something wrong?”
“Our receptionist called in sick and we’re fielding a lot of local ads today.” He sighed. “Never mind, I’ll try Sammy’s mother. She might be able to pitch in.”
Sammy Johnston was the photographer on staff. From the looks of the paper, she was a good one.
“What about me?”
“You?”
“I can answer phones. Take ad copy.”
“No, that’s okay.”
“Really, Simon. I was just looking at the classifieds for myself.”
“You’re staying in town?” His tone of voice was odd.
“For a while. I need to earn my keep.”
“I see.”
“Give me a half hour to shower and get over there.”
“I don’t think…”
“I insist I be allowed to help out. See you then.”
Lily hung up, wondering why Simon McCarthy didn’t want her at the Sentinel. She allowed a spark of anger to surface. She was on her way to becoming the woman she’d been pre-Derek and here was another man who seemed to want to hold her back. Well, not again. She’d be damned if she let Simon McCarthy interfere in her life.
SIMON DIDN’T WANT HER HERE. When she walked through the door, he felt trouble sidle in along with her. She looked rested today. Her cheeks were rosy from the walk here and the warm April wind had played havoc with her hair, tumbling it into wavy masses. The light blue top she wore with a navy skirt accented the color of her eyes. “Hi. I told you that you didn’t have to come.”
At that moment, Sammy poked her head out from the newsroom. “Simon, we need you back here.” She smiled. “Hi, Lily. Feeling okay?”
“Yes. Thanks.”
Just then, the phone rang.
Lily crossed to the desk. “Go back. I’ll get that.”
“Suit yourself.” He disappeared into the newsroom, cursing the curtness of his voice.
After he’d made the decision about which photo to use for the upcoming fair in town, he went back out front.
Lily was sitting at the desk, taking notes. “Why, yes, Mr. Martini, I think that copy reads well. Might I suggest a little tweak?”
Simon stood behind her and watched. She smiled into the phone and listened to the caller. “Perhaps replace cute with adorable.” She paused. “All right, good. Do we usually bill you? What? Well, news travels fast. Uh-huh, I’m his granddaughter. Why, thank you so much. I’m glad to be here.”
When she hung up, she swiveled the desk chair around and saw Simon. “Lots of ads coming in today. That’s the third since you went back.”
“I know. It picks up on Friday. You’ve made yourself at home.”
Her eyes narrowed. The mirth had gone out of them. “I hope I’m helping.”
Running a hand through his hair, he said, “Sorry. You are.”
“Is there a reason you don’t want me here, Simon?”
About a thousand. He could never reveal his worry that she might make a claim to the paper, but eventually he was going to warn her not to hurt Gil. “Gil said you were exhausted. I don’t want to answer to him if you get tired out.”
Her hand went to her abdomen. “Didn’t your wife work when she was pregnant with Jenna?”
“No. She was sick a lot, throughout the first and second trimesters.” He glanced at his watch. “I’ve got an appointment with the mayor in ten minutes. I have to go. I hate to leave…”
“Don’t worry, I won’t run off with the company savings.”
His heart knocked against his chest.
“Kidding. I can hold down the fort.”
“Our advertising guy is out soliciting ads and Sammy’s only here in the mornings, but Evan, the other reporter, is in back.”
“Fine.”
“We usually close at lunchtime.”
Her expression was amused. “Really?”
“Uh-huh. Fairview’s pretty much a reincarnation of Mayberry, only bigger.”
“It’s a nice town. I like it.”
“You can go home at twelve. I’ll be back by one.”
“Trying to get rid of me?”
“Of course not.” He snapped the words at her, then started out.
“Simon, wait.” He turned back. “Have I done something to offend you?”
Just exist. “No, I’m sorry. I’m swamped, is all.”
“Then go unswamp yourself.” The phone rang and she picked it up. “The Sentinel. Lily speaking. Why yes, yes, I’m taking the information today.” She arched a brow at him. “Mr. Martini said what? Oh, how nice, Mrs. Conklin. Yes, I’ll help you with the phrasing.”
Simon scowled as he left the office. He’d never expected her to fit in here. Didn’t want her to. As he stepped outside into the bright sunlight, he felt a sense of things slipping right through his fingers. And Lily Wakefield was the cause.
AT NOON, AFTER LOCKING the front door as Evan had told her to do when he left for lunch, Lily had taken a twenty-minute nap on the couch and then she’d fixed herself some soup she’d found in the small kitchen out back. She’d just returned to the reception area with her sketch pad and tea, when she heard a knock at the door. Rising, Lily crossed to it. Jenna was there, wearing a light yellow top and capris to match and looking like sunshine herself. She let the girl in. “Hi, Jenna.”
“Hi, Lily. Is Dad here?”
“No, he’s gone out.”
“Darn. I wanted to have lunch with him.”
“I had some soup.” She nodded out back. “There’s more in the cupboard, if you want to eat and wait for him. I’ll make it for you.”
Her face was a lot friendlier than her father’s. “Cool. But I can fix it.”
Lily went back to the couch and began to sketch the wall where framed editions of old newspapers were. She’d learned this was Simon’s collection. As she drew, she thought about his daughter. Jenna had such an interesting face. A study of innocence on the verge of adulthood. Maybe she’d try drawing the girl today.
Jenna returned with a cup of soup and some crackers and sat on the chair. “Mmm, this is great.” She cocked her head. “What are you doing here?”
Lily told her.
“Poor Dad. He needs more staff, but I guess he can’t get it. I usually help out during summer vacations.” She nodded to the pad on Lily’s lap. “What are you doing?”
“Drawing.”
“What?”
“The wall of old newspapers.”
“Dad’s collection. He loves those things, but they’re expensive as all get out.”
“I’d like to draw you sometime, Jenna.”
The girl’s eyes lit up, accented by the sun coming in from the window. “Now?”
“How long do you have?”
“Lunch is forty-five minutes. Sometimes I stay here for the next class session. I have it free. The school doesn’t mind.”
“Then, now it is.”
They talked as Lily flipped the pages and began to sketch Jenna. “Tell me about yourself.”
“Well, my best friend’s name is Katie Welsh. We’re tight and we always hang together.”
“It’s nice to have friends. What do you take at school?”
“Same old, same old. I like English best.”
“You do? Why?”
“I dig reading. Dad’s read to me since I was little and I’ve never stopped. And my English teacher, Miss Jameson, is the bomb. She lets us pick a lot of independent stuff.”
“What are you reading now?”
“Ordinary People. I love the book, and we’re seeing the movie next week.”
“I loved that book, too. It’s sad, though.”
“You read?”
“Not much lately.”
Jenna waited a beat. “Are you in trouble, Lily?”
“Not like you mean.” How much should she tell this girl? “I left my old life because I didn’t feel safe there.”
“Why?”
She looked up and almost succumbed to the sincere expression on Jenna’s face. Amazing how, after only one week, she had to remind herself she didn’t know any of these people all that well. “Some of it’s private.”
Unselfconsciously the girl rolled her eyes. “Dad says I ask too many questions.”
“No, you don’t. Just so long as you can accept it when people don’t want to answer them.”
“I can. No worries.”
“What else do you do?”
“I’m in the plays here. Katie, too. We do one a year, and then there’s a summer production. Last fall, I was the second lead in No, No, Nanette.”
“I’m impressed. I saw a revival of that on Broadway.”
“I’m dying to go and see shows on Broadway.” She added, “I love to babysit, too. Hey, maybe Katie and I can babysit the twins when they get here.”
Lily’s pulse sped up. “I’m, um, not sure I’ll be in Fairview then.”
“Where would you go?”
She gripped the pencil tighter and had to stop drawing for a minute. “I honestly don’t know.”
“You should stay. Grandpa Gil loves having you here.”
She knew that, but she wondered how Jenna had figured it out. She asked the girl.
“He just acts it. He always talks about you and smiles a lot more than before you came. Dad says it’s good to see him happy.”
“That’s nice.”
After fifteen minutes, Lily studied the sketch. “It’s okay. Could use more detail. But there’s not much time left before the paper’s open again.”
“Can I see it?”
“Sure.”
Jenna plopped down close to Lily on the couch. “Wow. This is sweet.”
“Think so?”
“Yeah. You even got me holding a book.” She smiled at the picture. “Can I have it?”
“I’d rather finish…Oh!” Lily’s hand went to her abdomen. “Oh.”
“What? Are you okay?”
Tears came to Lily’s eyes.
“Lily, should I call somebody?”
“No, no, honey. I just felt a kick for the first time.”
“Get out!” She stared at Lily’s stomach. “What did it feel like?”
“A pressure pushing against my tummy. Oh, there’s another.”
“Maybe it’s the other baby.”
“Maybe.”
Jenna was silent. Then, she asked, “Lily, can I feel it?”
“Well…of course.” Not exactly how Lily planned sharing the first flutters of the babies—with a teenage girl she barely knew—but what the heck? At least someone was with her to appreciate this milestone. She took Jenna’s hand and moved it to where she’d felt the first kick. Nothing. “Come on, sweetie. Kick again for Jenna.”
In a few moments, there was another gentle nudge. “Man, Lily, that’s the best.” She moved her hand a bit and waited. “Oh, I felt that, too.”
“Looks like one isn’t going to be outdone by the other.”
The bell over the door sounded again and in walked Simon. He stopped short when he saw his daughter close to Lily on the couch. “Jenna, what are you doing here?”
“I came for lunch. You weren’t around, so I had soup with Lily.”
He checked his watch. “I see. You’d better get going.”
“Dad, she drew me. And then I felt the babies kick. It was so awesome.”
His face softened. “Which? The drawing or the kicking?”
“Both. Come look.”
Crossing to the couch, he stood behind them. He was so close, the scent of him practically surrounded Lily. Aftershave? Soap? “Hmm. Very nice. You’re good, Lily. What’s your background?”
“I was an art and design major in college.”
“Not much call for that in Mayberry.”
“I…”
The phone rang and Lily rose from the couch. “I’ll get it.”
“No, I will. You can go home now.”
“Dad?” Jenna had obviously caught the rudeness, too. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, sure.” He answered the phone. “Hello? Oh, yes, Mrs. Billings. She’s here. I guess it’s all right if you talk to her.” He held out the receiver. “You’re drumming up quite a fan club.”
Lily shrugged and ruffled Jenna’s hair. “I hope to see you soon.”
“I loved feeling the babies move. Do you know what they are?”
She took the phone, but before she spoke into it she grinned at Jenna. “Yep, one of each.”
“Isn’t that great, Daddy?” Jenna said.
“Great,” Simon said, staring at Lily. “Just great.”
DEREK WAKEFIELD rolled over in bed and reached for Liliana. When he came up with only a handful of silk duvet, he grunted. Gradually, he came awake to the smell of stale booze. There was a putrid taste in his mouth.
“Aw, shit,” he said, burying his face in his pillow. As awareness dawned, he began to crave another drink. Slowly, he opened one eye and stared at the clock until it came into focus. Noon. What day was it?
Sighing, he turned onto his back, and his stomach pitched. The bright sun slanted in from the skylight and hurt his eyes. Liliana liked spring afternoons—maybe he’d take her to the park. She looked so cute in that straw sun hat he’d bought her in the Caribbean.
Then he remembered. Liliana wasn’t here. She’d left in the middle of the night a week ago. Why had she done that? He had a vague recollection of something…her walking in…something happened. His head began to pound when he thought about it too hard.
The phone rang and he dragged a pillow over his head to block out the sound. When it persisted, he picked up the bedroom extension. “’ello.”
“Derek, it’s me.”
“Hello, Mother.”
“Are you all right?”
Sighing, he hoisted himself up and stuffed a pillow behind him. “I’m fine.”
“You missed a meeting with vendors this morning.”
“I did?”
“Listen, darling, I know you’re upset that Liliana left, though I think it might be for the best. But your father isn’t happy about your not showing up.”
“I’m sorry, Mother.” For a lot of things. Not the least of which was the wreckage he came face-to-face with when he looked around the bedroom. The desk chair was on its side. A lamp lay broken on the floor. A wastebasket was tipped over, its contents tumbling out onto the floor.
And several pictures of him and Liliana were smashed into pieces. He must have lost it last night. Damn, why did she have to leave him? He couldn’t function without her.
You couldn’t function with her, either.
He swore vilely.
“Derek!”
“Sorry, Mother. I stubbed my toe. What were you saying?”
“Would you like me to come over there? I could cancel my nail appointment. I know Liliana didn’t appreciate my visits, but now that she’s gone…”
He rubbed a hand over his jaw. God—days of growth. He could smell himself, too, and it wasn’t pleasant. “No, Mother. I’m going to shower and head over to the office.”
“Placate your father, dear.”
“All right. I’ll talk to you later.”
He hung up and surveyed the room again.
No wonder Liliana had left him.
Chapter Three
“OH, MR. MARTINI, they’re beautiful.” Simon watched Lily gush as she knelt on the floor of the reception area and picked up a furry black creature. She looked cute in a dark pink-and-red skirt and pink blouse. Not for the first time, he noticed how attractive she was. “He’s so little. And soft.”
“I like the one with white on his face.” Jenna scooped another kitten out of the box, and Simon watched as she held it the same way Lily held hers. For a minute, he worried. His daughter mimicked Lily Wakefield a lot these days. Then, with less effort than last week, he let it go. He believed in the old adage that you could tell a person’s true character by how he or she treated children, older people and animals.
In the three weeks she’d been in Fairview, Lily had earned gold stars in all categories. She even had the cranky O’Malley brothers behaving. They owned the local pub and usually made everybody miserable. It was odd how people in small towns were so trusting. But Simon vowed he’d keep a clear head about her. He would try not to jump to conclusions.
“Any takers on the ads?” Lily asked Mr. Martini, as she scratched the kitten’s neck. Her nails were painted pink to match her blouse.
The seventy-year-old man smiled at Lily. “All but these two.” He stretched out a stiff leg, and winked at Simon. “Don’t know what I’m gonna do with the last of them.”
Jenna’s eyes widened. She looked heartbreakingly young in overall shorts and a T-shirt, with her long hair pulled back in a ponytail. “Oh, Dad, can we?”
He stuck his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “Who’d take care of it?”
“Me. I’m not a baby. Lily says I’m very mature for my age.” She lifted a chin in a haughty manner. She’d learned that from Lily, too. “I can do it.”
“Well, if Lily said so.” The woman already had spent an inordinate amount of time with Jenna. She was even taking his daughter along to her next prenatal checkup after Jenna had begged to hear the babies’ heartbeats.
Lily looked over at Simon. Her smile was genuine and it did beautiful things to her eyes. Her face, fuller now, was alight with that pregnancy glow. He wondered about her life before she came here and why it had been stressful enough to make her thin and pale, as she’d been when she arrived. Gil hadn’t told him and he hadn’t asked. “They make wonderful pets, Simon.”
“I’ll think about it.”
After a minute, Lily stood and stretched, placing her hands on the small of her back.
“Your back hurt, Lily?” Jenna asked.
“A bit. I can’t figure out why. I’m not quite five months along. I haven’t gained that much weight. I’m not even in maternity clothes.”
“Cells are dividing in your lower back, stretching your muscles to accommodate the babies. Probably more than normal with twins.”
She stared at Simon, as if he were speaking Greek. “How do you know that?”
Simon brushed his hand down Jenna’s hair. “I learned everything I could about my baby girl, even before she was born.”
Mr. Martini harrumphed. “In my day, we didn’t take much interest.” He went on to tell Lily about his wife, who’d been dead ten years, and his four kids, all of whom had moved away to bigger cities.
Seating herself across from the older man, Lily listened intently, petting the kitten the whole time. Simon watched that soft rhythmic stroke, mesmerized. It stirred something inside him; something he hadn’t felt in a long time.
Eventually, Mr. Martini struggled to his feet. “So, should I take them back with me?”
“Dad?”
“All right. You can have one.”
Mr. Martini zeroed in on Lily. “What about you, young lady?”
“Me? Oh, no, I can’t have a kitten.” Her expression was sad.
“Why not?”
“What if I don’t stay?” Her voice trailed off, reminding Simon of the damage she could do to Gil and Jenna if— when—she left Fairview. Lately, that had been even more of a concern to him than her laying claim to the paper.
Then, she surprised them all by saying, “You know what? Yes, I’m going to take him.”
“Yay!” Jenna threw her arms around Lily. “They can visit each other for company.”
Lily laughed, Jenna laughed, and Mr. Martini forgot for a minute to maintain his gruff exterior and smiled broadly.
The front door opened, and Mr. Martini said under his breath, “Here comes Her Ladyship.”
“Hush,” Lily told him, then turned to the visitor. “Miss Jameson, how nice to see you.” She nodded to the woman’s outfit. “That green dress goes great with your hair and eyes.”
“Thank you, dear.” She held up a basket. “I brought you some muffins.”
A lot of people in town had been trying to feed her over the past month. “Oh, dear. I’m going to be a blimp by the time the babies come.”
The woman glanced at her stomach. “Are they doing well?”
“Yes. Kicking up a storm.”
“It must be a nice feeling.” Miss Jameson had been Simon’s high school English teacher, as well as Jenna’s now, and as far as he knew, she had never married or had a child. There was an aura of mystery to her, too, since she came from the big city and had settled here, all chic and sophisticated, like Lily. Miss Jameson glanced at Mr. Martini, who was heading for the door. “No need to go on my account, Marco.”
“Job’s done here, Loretta.” He tipped his summer hat. “Goodbye, ladies. Simon. Don’t work our girl too hard.”
As if he’d had any choice. “I won’t.”
Leaving the women to coo over babies and kittens, Simon went back to his office just off the newsroom and sat down at his desk. The mock-up of the classifieds was finished. He shook his head, wondering how life had changed so significantly in less than a month.
Lily had been working at the paper since that day Simon couldn’t reach Gil and she’d pitched in to help out. When Gil had found her at the office, he’d come up with the idea himself.
“This is perfect for you, Lily. You can sit down and take phone calls.”
“I can do more,” she’d said excitedly. She glanced at Simon, who knew his displeasure at the idea showed on his face. “I have some suggestions for the layout of the ads.”
“Already?” he asked.
“If it’s okay with you.”
She was always so hesitant, so self-effacing, that it had been hard to hang on to his doubts. Besides, Simon was sensible, if nothing else. “Sure. Truthfully, I’ve thought they needed an overhaul, but Tom Barker’s way too busy just getting the ad accounts.”
“Great.” The smile on Gil’s face had also made it hard for Simon to cling to his reservations.
Since that day, Simon’s negative feelings about Lily had dwindled even more. He stared at his latest editorial on global warming, thinking about how Lily was winning everybody over, including him. She’d been enthusiastic about these weekly columns, too, offering insights and effusive praise.
She came back to the office a half hour later.
“Where’s the kitten?”
“Jenna took both of them home. Miss Jameson was going to drive her, and get some food and kitty litter for them on the way. I hope that’s all right.”
“Yeah, as you said, she’s a big girl.”
“I can stop by and get Blackie on my way home.”
“Blackie? Very original.”
“Hers is Whiteface.”
“Clever.”
She regarded him with a knowing smile.
“What?”
“You’re a good father, Simon.”
“Am I?”
Perching on the edge of a chair, Lily crossed her legs. The gesture distracted him. She hadn’t worn stockings, so her legs were bare, and through her open-toed sandals he could see her pink toenails. “You know you are. Jenna’s a wonderful girl. You’ve raised her well.”
He leaned back and felt the familiar tightness in his chest. “When she got hurt, I thought I’d die.”
“Jenna was hurt? Gil didn’t tell me.”
“Her, um, mother died in a car accident when Jenna was five. Jenna was in the backseat.”
“Oh, no.” Was that moisture in her eyes? “How badly hurt was she?”
“A broken arm and leg. She had to have a pin put in her femur. And then there were years of therapy, to get her to walk without a limp.”
“You’d never know. She’s so graceful now.”
“Thank God.”
Giving him a watery smile, Lily shook her head. “You’ve had a difficult life.”
“You, too, I’m guessing.”
She averted her gaze over his shoulder.
“You don’t have to tell me. I know I’ve been unpleasant to you.”
Looking back at him, she asked, “Why, Simon? I can tell it’s not in your nature to be unkind.”
“The truth?”
“Of course. Always.”
“At first I worried about your motives. That you came here to…” He struggled for the right word. “Milk Gil, I guess.”
“I’d never do such a thing.”
“I see that now. If he buys you any kind of gift, even chocolates, you balk.”
Her hands curled on her lap. “I guess you were right to worry. I just showed up out of the blue. I could have been anybody, wanting anything.” When he didn’t say more, she asked, “You said at first? What about now?”
“I’m not worried about that anymore.”
“What are you worried about?”
“When you go away, Jenna and Gil will be hurt. Every day, they invest more in you.”
No response.
“I caught what you said out there about not taking the kitten. Because you didn’t know if you’d be staying here.”
“My life’s a mess, Simon. I don’t want to hurt anybody while I’m trying to straighten it out.”
“Are you? Straightening it out?”
“Yes, I think so. I’ve contacted a lawyer. He’s sending my husband legal separation papers.”
“Ah.” Simon knew only that she’d left her husband for what Gil considered good reasons. And now, the fact that she was asking the guy for a separation made Simon glad. It must be because it meant she was moving on with her life and wasn’t planning to go back to her old one. For Gil and Jenna, of course. “Will he sign them?”
“I hope so.” He could see the sadness in her eyes. This was hard for her.
“If I knew the situation,” he found himself saying, “I might be less wary.”
“I’m ashamed to talk about it.”
“For what it’s worth, I’m ashamed of some things about my past, too.”
Lily laughed, a bright sound that filled the office. He liked it. A lot. “Are you kidding? Gil, Jenna, the whole town think you walk on water.”
“I’ve gone under a time or two.” He shrugged. “But I don’t like to talk about those things, so I really shouldn’t ask you about your private life.”
She bit her lip. Her vulnerability struck a chord in him. She was determined and strong, too, a combination that was far too appealing to him as a man.
“I’ll tell you about it, Simon. But I’d appreciate it if you didn’t share this with Jenna. It’s not pretty.”
“All right, I won’t.” He watched her. “And I won’t judge, Lily. I promise.”
“Thanks.”
And then she told him her story.
THE MINUTE LILY WALKED into Simon’s house she felt a sense of well-being. Her modern three-story back in Westchester County, with its soaring pillars, high ceilings and acres of windows, was a showplace, but it had never, ever felt like a home, as this one did.
The floors and trim around the doorways were done in warm wood in the foyer and in the rooms on either side. Off to the right, a fireplace stood guard in a living room filled with comfortably upholstered earth-toned furniture. Splashes of whimsy were everywhere, in colorful pillows and throws and frames. So different from her expensive, hard-edged modern furniture, these sofas and chairs beckoned you to curl up on them. On the other side of the entrance was a dining room, again with light oak furniture and padded chairs. The aroma of beef coming from the kitchen completed the homey picture.
“Lily!” A rumble on the stairs followed the shouted greeting. “You’re here.”
Gil had let them in unannounced.
“Hi, sweetie.” They hugged, and Lily held on to the girl an extra second. Her hair was damp, as if she’d just washed it with rose-scented shampoo.
“Hey, what am I, Princess? Chopped liver?” Gil accepted a second hug warmly.
“Oh, Grandpa Gil. You know I love you.”
“Mmm. Me, too.” As Jenna took their raincoats and hung them up, he asked, “What’s that I smell?”
“Your favorite. Pot roast. Dad says you can have some, but not a lot. ‘Cuz of your heart.”
“Did you make dinner?”
“Mostly.” This from Simon, who walked down the hallway, wearing an apron that read, Kiss The Cook.
When Lily’s first thought was that that sounded like a great idea, she chided herself. But he looked so good wearing a red shirt beneath the apron and jeans that fit his butt like a glove. She admonished herself for the wayward thoughts and the perusal.
“Welcome to our home, Lily.”
He was looking at her differently, too. Ever since she had told him last week about Derek, he’d been nicer. Kinder. Sweet, really. She’d begun to like Simon McCarthy, and she thought she was making headway in getting him to like her, too. Though something niggled at her.
He was concerned about Gil and Jenna, if she left town abruptly, but there was something else that was bothering him, too. Usually, she got the feeling at the paper, when she wanted to try something new. He’d shut down and become cold or distant. Not now, though. He was smiling with genuine warmth.
“You have a lovely house.”
“Daddy did a lot of the work on it.”
“Really?”
“Uh-huh. My pride and joy.”
“Marco Martini and I helped,” Gil put in. “Then, we all worked on my kitchen. The old codger’s wanted to buy my house from under me for as long as I can remember, so he was trying to rack up some points.”
“And you’re not selling, of course.” Simon started down the hall. “Come back and sit.”
They followed him to the back.
The family room flowed into the kitchen and was demarcated by a rug that bumped up against the ceramic tile. A bank of windows faced the wooded backyard. Off the kitchen was an enclosed porch, its screens open, despite the rain outside. “This is gorgeous.”
“Thanks. We like it.” He took the wine they’d brought with them. “Want a glass?” he asked Gil.
“If Lily doesn’t mind.”
“I made you tea, Lily,” Jenna said. “The kind you brew with a ball.”
“Go ahead, have the wine. I’ll help.”
Gil said, “I’m going to beat Jenna at cards.”
Lily followed Simon into the kitchen while Gil and Jenna went into the family room.
“Can I have some wine, Dad?” Jenna called out from there.
“I’ll pour you a sip or two.”
Curious about the indulgence, Lily cocked her head as Simon got her a mug and took wineglasses out of the cupboard.
“It takes the mystery out of drinking,” he explained quietly. “Hopefully, as a result, she won’t feel the need to experiment outside of the house.”
Lily’s hand went to her midsection, which was just rounding a bit as her fifth month got into full swing. “I wonder if I’ll ever know what to do with these babies.”
He gave her the mug. “You will. A lot of it’s instinct, but I read child-rearing books, too.” He poured wine for the rest of them.
As Lily got her tea, she said, “Thanks for having us for dinner. Too bad your sister couldn’t make it.”
“She’s a busy lawyer. There’s only Sara and Mac Madison in the firm, and they have clients from all the neighboring towns.”
Lily knew Mac. On Gil’s advice, she’d met with him a few weeks after she’d arrived. He’d filed for her legal separation.
“I’d like to meet Sara. In any case, I appreciate your having us for dinner.”
A silence. Then, “We have Gil over all the time.”
Oh, no. She’d never thought of this. “You haven’t had Gil to dinner since I’ve been here. It’s been more than five weeks.”
“He’s been busy with you.”
“I’m sorry I interfered. Did you mind?”
“The truth?”
That’s what he’d said at the paper that day last week. She nodded.
“Yeah, I minded some. But Gil needed time with you.”
“It won’t happen again, Simon. I won’t come between you and Gil.”
His face shadowed, and there it was—that feeling Lily got, that her words, or sometimes her actions, meant more to him than what she’d intended.
They joined Gil and Jenna in the living room. “What are you playing?” Lily asked.
Simon shook his head. “Poker.”
“Yeah, Grandpa Gil taught me how.”
Gil arched his brows at Lily. He looked younger when he teased. “You know how to play?”
“I’m afraid not.” Bridge had been big in her circles. She’d never liked it, but Derek had insisted she join a club.
“Maybe we can teach you some seven-card stud after dinner.”
“You’re on, for whatever that is.”
When Lily went to take a seat, she noticed something hanging on the wall opposite the couch. “Oh, my.”
Jenna looked over. “It’s all right, isn’t it?”
“Why, yes, of course.” She stared at the matted and framed picture she’d drawn of Jenna. “At least I got to finish it.”
“You’re very talented, Lily,” Gil said.
“Thank you. My mother started me young.”
A silence invaded the room like an unwanted guest. She had yet to tell Gil the details of what had happened to Cameron and whenever something like this came up, it was awkward.
“She continued to draw? She was really good in high school.”
“Yes, I know. I found some of her work in the boxes you left out.”
Gil’s eyes were sad. Lily said no more about Cameron and Simon tried to cover for the awkwardness. “Did I tell you the advertising income for the paper has gone up by a third this quarter, Gil? I’ll show you the figures later.”
The unhappiness faded from her grandfather’s face. “That’s terrific. I’m guessing that some folks have taken out classifieds just to make contact with our new helper here. I even saw Mike O’Malley being nice to her the other day.”
Lily chuckled. She thought the same thing about the ads and people’s attitudes. It was wonderful for her battered ego.
“Eddie McPherson stops in all the time,” Jenna said, mentioning a local firefighter. “I think he likes her.”
Lily shifted uncomfortably. Gil looked away and so did Simon.
“What did I say?” Jenna asked.
“Lily’s married, honey.”
“Yeah, but she left her husband. She’s living here, now.”
Reaching out, Lily touched Jenna’s arm. “I did more than that, sweetie. I’ve sent him papers asking for a legal separation.”
“So, good.” Jenna went back to her cards. “But watch out for Eddie. They call him Fast Eddie.”
“Jenna!”
“I’m not a baby, Grandpa.”
Simon chuckled. “You get no argument from me about Eddie. I went to high school with him. That was his nickname then, too.”
“Speaking of names, do you have them picked out for the babies, Lily?” Gil asked.
“No, not yet.”
“What are you considering?”
“I’d like to keep that to myself for now. As soon as I decide, I’ll let you know.”
A buzzer went off in the kitchen. Simon rose. “Dinner’s ready. Jenna, you can help me. Gil and Lily, why don’t you go into the dining room.”
When they were all seated and the food was in front of them, Simon said grace. And Lily was mesmerized by the soothing rhythm of his voice, raised in prayer. She was also struck by the notion that this must be what a real family dinner was like.
She’d never experienced one before in her life.
SIMON LOOKED OVER at Gil from his desk as he read a spreadsheet, a copy of the one Gil held in his hand. Gil said, “This is good, don’t you think?”
“Yes. Though I wish we could widen the market in Gainesville.”
“Let’s talk about how to do that.”
Simon glanced at the door, thinking of Lily and how pretty she looked in the peach linen slacks and long-sleeved shirt she was wearing tonight. Her hair was soft and shiny, too, and curled a bit from the rain. “They’ll be okay?”
“We were in the way. Jenna was dying to get Lily up to her room. I heard some rumblings about makeup.”
“She’s a little young for war paint.” And Lily certainly didn’t need any.
“I hate to break it to you, Simon, but girls start with all that at about eleven.”
“God forbid.”
Leaning back in his chair, Simon watched the man he’d come to think of as a second father. Patrick McCarthy could never be replaced, but there was a unique spot in his heart for Gil. To ease this particular burden, he asked, “Lily hasn’t said anything about what happened to Cameron?”
“Just the bare bones. I asked her to elaborate a few weeks ago, and gave her another opportunity just now, but she didn’t take it. I’m guessing it was bad. I almost don’t want to know how Cameron lived. Or how Lily grew up.”
“Sometimes knowing isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.” Simon was sure of that.
Gil cocked his head. “Can I ask you something?”
“Yeah, sure.”
“You didn’t like her at first. Why?”
“Because I was worried she was using you. I was afraid she was out to get whatever she could from you.”
“That’s about the last thing that’s happening.”
“I see that now. She seems to want to stand on her own two feet.”
“She told you about Wakefield, didn’t she?”
“Uh-huh. I felt bad for her. I hope he agrees to the separation.”
“Mac is worried about his family. They’re powerful people in New York. What changed your mind about her, Simon?”
“Seeing her interact with people on a daily basis. She’s formed a bond with Jenna that can’t be faked. Mr. Martini and Mrs. Billings and Miss Jameson come in just to see her.” He smiled fondly at Gil. “And there’s a spring in your step that I haven’t seen in a long time.”
“I’m happy, Simon.”
“Good to see.” He waited a beat. “Jenna was right. Eddie sniffs around her.” Not that he blamed the guy.
“With good reason, don’t you think?”
Simon smiled. “I’m male and healthy. Who wouldn’t think that? She’s very pretty.”
“And she has an inner beauty.”
“Does she?” He was reserving judgment on that.
“I want you to be friends.” Gil waited a minute. “You know she’ll never replace you or Jenna in my heart, Simon.”
“Hell, I hope I’m not thinking that way.”
“Probably not. I just wanted to say it out loud.”
He nodded. “Let’s get back to how we can increase circulation.”
“All right. Just let me say thanks for accepting Lily as much as you have. It means a lot to me.”
“I know.”
JOHANNA WAKEFIELD stared at the legal document Derek had received earlier this week. As usual, her white hair was exquisitely styled, and her taupe pantsuit showed off her slender form. At sixty-three, she was still an attractive woman. “Well, she didn’t waste a lot of time.”
“No. She must really want to get away from me. With good reason.”
His mother’s blue eyes turned cold. “It’s Liliana’s style. She’s not to be counted on.”
“Father likes her.”
“He has a soft side where people are concerned. It doesn’t always serve him well.”
“I gave her cause, Mother.”
“A woman should not leave her husband in the dark of night. She’s never been good for you. Why, we never even found out about her background. God knows where she came from.”
“I wonder if she went back there.”
“Where?”
“Where she came from. Wherever that—” he waved his drink at the papers “—came from.”
“A law firm from upstate.”
Derek slugged back his scotch and stretched out his legs. “Should I sign them?” The thought turned his stomach. He didn’t want Liliana to leave him, but he was remembering things he’d done to her, and in his sober moments—few though they were—he knew she was better off away from him and his addictions. Some of which she didn’t even know about.
His mother studied her drink and said casually, “We could find her through the lawyer.”
“I guess.” But what good would it do? He’d only hurt her again.
“Do you want her back, Derek?”
“No. For her sake.”
“Then I have a better idea.” She stood, went to the phone and punched in a number. “Hello, Susan, this is Johanna Wakefield. My son and I would like to see Marcus today.”
“So soon?” Derek asked as she waited.
“That’s what retainers are for, darling.” Into the mouthpiece she said, “Yes, three would be fine. What? Oh, we’re going to need divorce papers drawn up.”
Derek’s eyes widened and a sharp pain sliced through him. “Divorce papers?”
“It’s for the best, Derek. We Wakefields never do anything halfway.”
“No,” he said getting up to fix himself another drink. “I guess we don’t.”
Chapter Four
“HI, LILY. NEED SOMETHING?” Evan Hill smiled up at her from his desk in the newsroom. He was a little guy with a wiry build and warm brown eyes. There were five desks in the big open space, and he was seated at one of them. Simon had his own office in the corner.
Lily nodded toward it. “I’m looking for the chief.”
“He just called and said he was on his way. Go wait inside. There’s a couch. Sit, put your feet up.”
“Good Lord. You, too?”
“If you don’t, I’ll tell the Senior Brigade.”
“We wouldn’t want that.”
In the six weeks she’d been in Fairview, the people in town had come to care about Lily, especially the older ones she’d helped with ads. She found them fascinating and loved listening to their stories. They must have sensed she was sincere because, in turn, they watched over her like hawks. Having never been nurtured before, she loved being cared for.
She wandered into Simon’s office and sat on the couch. From there—with her feet up—she studied his personal space. She’d been in here before, of course, but never alone. Several pictures of Jenna, at different ages, hung on one wall. There was another of his favorite old newspapers that had been matted and framed. What was that? She rose and crossed to a small case containing trophies. For basketball. From high school. And, oh, how cute, from this year. He played in a men’s league. Each day she discovered more depths to this man. And each day she found herself gravitating toward him more.
After she’d finished exploring, Lily caught sight of a typed sheet on his desk. Hmm. She’d just take a peek. His editorials were wonderful—usually on world events that small towns sometimes forgot about. He’d done one on the war in Iraq, and one on peace in the Middle East, and he’d even tackled the volatile topic of gay rights, which— because he was a proponent—had caused a stir down at the diner and over at O’Malleys’ pub. She wondered what the subject of this one was and picked it up. When he walked in, she’d just finished reading.
“Hi, Lily. What are you doing here?”
She held up the paper. “I’m sorry, I peeked. Well, no,” she sniffled, “I’m not sorry. Simon, this is so sad. And so poignantly written.”
He leaned against the doorjamb. She noticed again how broad his shoulders were as they stretched the cotton of his shirt. The opening at the collar revealed dark chest hair and a patch of tanned skin. “It’s a shame, isn’t it, what goes on in those refugee camps? I wish I could do more than write about it.”
“You do a lot by making people aware of the atrocious conditions. After the Iraq editorial, there was a big collection of socks and books in town. I heard from Loretta that your work spurred other action. You are helping.”
“I guess.”
She indicated the one she’d just read. “This woman, Anna. She was in a camp for sixteen years?”
He nodded his head. “Yep. Got married there, had two kids.” Quietly, he added, “God knows what she endured.”
Lily glanced away. He came around the desk and squatted in front of her. He tipped her chin and shook his head. “Are you crying, Lily?”
“Ignore it. I cry at everything these days.”
“So did Marian.” He took out his handkerchief and Lily reached for it. But instead of giving it to her, he wiped her face. She swallowed hard at the intimacy of the gesture. Up this close, she could see the green flecks in his eyes, how long lashed they were, several shades darker than his hair. She got a whiff of his cologne. Very male, very sexy.
When he finished, he stared at her for a long time. “You’re something else, Lily Wakefield.”
She was startled to realize how disappointed she was when he drew back. Self-consciously, she smoothed down her tan capris and long white blouse.
“Did—” he cleared his throat “—did you come back here for a reason, or just to nose around in my stuff?”
“I wanted to talk to you. I need advice and I thought you could give me some, since you’re close to Gil.”
He stiffened. He was so protective of her grandfather, Lily knew instantly she was doing the right thing. Though she was still wary of men, in general, she was beginning to see Simon as an ally.
“Can we sit on the couch? And close the door?”
When they were settled, Lily faced him solemnly. “Simon, last week, when Gil brought up my mother’s art, I knew he was waiting for me to tell him what happened to her. He’s been waiting.”
“He mentioned it while you were turning Jenna into America’s Top Model.”
“And planning a world tour of all our favorite places, don’t forget.”
“Spare my checkbook, please.” He sobered. “About Cameron?”
“If I tell Gil what happened to her, I worry that he’ll be devastated. And I wonder if he really has to know.”
His face shadowed. “As I told him, sometimes knowing the truth isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”
“Simon?” Intuitively, she knew he wasn’t just talking about Gil. And suddenly, she wanted to know more about this man, about those secrets he said he’d been keeping. The longing was so strong, it surprised her.
“Never mind about me. Finish what you were going to say.”
“All right. I thought I could tell you what happened, and you could help me decide if I should tell Gil. You’re closer to him than anyone, and you’d know what was the right thing to do.”
“Thanks for trusting me.” He leaned back against the couch and crossed one foot over the other knee. “Go ahead.”
“You know the basics. My mother never went to the home for unwed mothers. Instead, she took a bus to New York, and stayed at the YWCA. She found a job right away as a waitress.”
“That must have been hard. Sixteen. Pregnant, waitressing.”
Lily’s hand went to her just-beginning-to-bulge abdomen. “I can’t imagine. Anyway, welfare paid for my delivery and our hospital stay, and then she got a second job in a day care so I could stay there while she earned money. It was tough, but she loved me and I knew it.”
“She must have been a very strong woman.” He smiled. “You take after her in that respect….”
His compliment warmed her, and for a minute distracted her.
“What happened?”
“We did okay for a while. But the hard life wore on her. By the time I was in grade school, she wanted more.” Lily shook her head. “She found a way to get it.”
His eyes narrowed. “Not a good way.”
“No. First she waitressed at this club. This strip club. And then she stripped. She called it dancing, but I knew what she was doing. I was mortified, but still she was a good mother.”
“You told Gil she died in a bus accident.”
“Another lie.”
“Oh, Lily.”
“She went home with one of the patrons from the club. And never came back. They found her body on the street, near a garbage dump.”
Tears flowed now. She tried to dash them away, but she was transported back to all the horror of her mother’s death and the terror of being left alone.
Simon slid closer and took her hand. She latched on to it for support, but she couldn’t look at him, so he pulled her close and held her.
“I’m sorry. I thought I’d dealt with this.” She buried her face in his chest, as if it were the most natural thing to do. “You’re the first person I’ve ever told this to.”
“Derek doesn’t know?” There was an odd note in his voice. It got that way every time he talked about her husband.
“Are you kidding? No. And he wouldn’t want me to tell him. That’s one reason why he won’t find me here. He doesn’t know about my connection to you all.” Oh. “I mean to Gil.”
“It must have been hard for you, Lily, living like that.”
“It was, but, Simon, my poor mother…She was a good person. I think life just gave her too many knocks.”
“What happened to you when she died?”
“I was sixteen, by then, and she’d left some money. She stashed it away, truly, in a mattress. With working two jobs, it was enough for me to live on.”
“Didn’t social services have something to say about that?”
“It’s easy to get lost in New York City.”
“I can’t believe you were left alone.” He was still holding her, and his hand smoothed down her hair. It felt comforting—and something else, too. Closing her eyes, she sank farther into him. “You were Jenna’s age.”
“I love Jenna’s innocence. Because I never was like her. I craved it, though, and respectability.”
“I can see why.” He kissed the top of her head. Settled his hand at her neck.
All she wanted was to stay in Simon’s arms. She’d never felt protected by Derek. Instead, she was always taking care of him. This was such a welcome change, maybe even a needed one during her pregnancy, which had made her feel utterly vulnerable.
But it couldn’t last and it wasn’t reality. After a few more precious moments in his arms, she drew away, sat up and wiped her eyes. “Damn. I’m a regular fountain around you.”
“This is something to cry about.”
“That’s why I’m torn about what to do with Gil.”
“It’s a hard call.”
“Simon, this would hurt him so much. And what purpose would it serve, to tell him? He already feels so much guilt.”
“You really care about him, don’t you?”
“Of course I do!”
“I think maybe your instincts are right. As you said, what good would it serve for him to find out about Cameron?”
She released a heavy breath. “Okay, then. I feel better, knowing you agree.”
Reaching out, he took her hand again. His was big and masculine and easily encompassed hers. “Let me say something. You’re a wonderful person. You’ve survived so much. And you still worry about others.”
“I ran away from Derek, Simon.”
“Which was the right thing to do. You have character and strength. Remember that.”
Tears welled in her eyes again.
“Uh-oh. We’d better stop this.”
She looked down at her hand in his. So did he. He was right—they had to stop. Because the last thing Lily needed in her life right now was a relationship with this man. With any man. Although, in her heart, she didn’t want to curtail her feelings for Simon.
This time, however, she’d listen to her head.
STILL REELING from his afternoon conversation with Lily, Simon met his sister at the Fairview Diner for dinner. The cool air inside felt good after his walk over in the warm May weather.
“Hey, Simon,” Artie Conklin, the owner, said, when he came in.
“Hi, Artie. How’s that son of yours doing? He just got promoted, didn’t he?”
“Yep, to head of the ambulance crew. Still goes on calls, though.”
“Good for him.”
“How’s Lily?”
“She’s good.” More than good. Wonderful. And beautiful. Very, very beautiful.
“Glad to hear.” Artie nodded across the room. “Your sister’s in the back booth.”
“Thanks.” He found Sara sipping a glass of wine and kissed her cheek before he said, “Hi, sis.”
“Hi, Simon. That happen often?”
“What?”
“People asking you about Lily Wakefield. Right after you ask about their families?”
“Everybody asks me about her and Gil. They know her through the paper.”
“I heard she was working there.”
He motioned to their waitress for another glass of wine. “How are you, Sara?”
“Busy as hell.” She nodded over to Mac Madison, who was at another table. “Him, too. He’s with a client even now.”
“Sorry you missed dinner last week. Jenna felt bad.”
“Yeah. Me, too.”
“You didn’t really have to work, did you?”
“Of course I did.”
Leaning over, he took her hand. “Let’s get this out of the way so we can enjoy our meal. You didn’t want to see Lily, did you?”
She shook her head. The siblings resembled each other, except her short hair was darker and her eyes greener than his. Now, there was a wariness in them. “No, I didn’t.”
“She’s a good person, Sara. She really does have Gil’s best interest at heart.”
“I…found out some things about her.”
“On the background check I asked you to do, right?”
No answer.
“You investigated her more than that? Oh, Sara, all I wanted to know was if she was who she said she was, and from where she said she lived.”
“Simon, we knew nothing about her. I wanted more on her. I found articles and pictures on the Net, society kinds of things. She’s a real trophy wife.”
He didn’t respond.
Sara watched him. “Did you hear me? She’s married, Simon.”
“I know she’s married.”
“The Wakefields are influential people. I’m familiar with their law firm. Very high-powered. Rumored to be ruthless.”
“So?”
“Derek Wakefield is the father of her kids. If he wants them, he’s got a good chance of getting them.”
“She’s afraid of that.” He sat back and sipped his wine. “Look, there were good reasons she left.”
“What?”
“I can’t tell you. They’re private.”
“But she told you.”
He nodded.
“You’re getting attached to her.”
Thinking about holding her today, feeling her curves against him, loving the scent of her, he lied to his sister. “No, I like her. But I’m okay with it. Mostly, I was worried about Gil.”
“I’m worried about you. And Jenna.”
“Jenna is getting attached. She’s excited about the babies.”
Sara fired questions at him as if he were on the stand. “What happens to all of you when Lily leaves town?”
“Who says she’s leaving?”
“Oh, Simon, she’s got millions to go back to. Why would she stay here?”
For me. And Jenna and Gil. “She says she’s not going back.”
“She scraped her way through college. Even when she spent the required year abroad as an art major, she had to work. People who’ve been that poor never want to go back to a life without money.”
“She says she’s staying.”
“Then, that brings up another problem. She’ll have rights to the paper.”
His initial fear, which he’d buried because he’d begun to like Lily, surfaced with Sara’s warning. “I know.”
“The paper that you’ve been planning to buy. Dreaming, all your life, to own.”
He repeated, “I know. But Sara, I can’t do anything about one of Gil’s relatives turning up.”
“You could make her less welcome. If everybody stopped being so nice to her, maybe she’d go back to where she came from and forget about the Sentinel.”
“I tried distancing her and it didn’t work.” And now, he didn’t want her to leave.
“I’m just worried about my baby brother and my only niece.” Sara sighed heavily. “I wish Dad was still alive. You always listened to him. He’d talk some sense into you.”
He pictured his father’s laughing brown eyes and kind smile. Patrick McCarthy would have seen Lily’s true nature right away. God, he missed the man. “Maybe if you got to know Lily…”
“No. Somebody in this town has to stay objective about her.”
Good luck. “All right. Can we change the subject now? We haven’t talked in a while.”
“Since Lily came to town.”
“Hush. Tell me about your love life.”
She snorted. “My love life is about as active as yours.” When he didn’t respond, she added, “Simon, you’ve got to start dating again. So you had a few fiascos early on. Try again. You know Ellen Priestly has been interested in you for a long time.”
“I’ll think about it.” But instead of considering the elementary school teacher who gave off signals every time he saw her, Simon’s mind settled on Lily and how she felt in his arms, how his body had responded to her. However, he kept his face blank. That was the last thing Sara needed to hear now.
THE NEXT DAY, Lily sat at a table in the drugstore visiting with Loretta Jameson. The only pharmacy in town had a soda fountain on one side, and she and the schoolteacher were having late-afternoon tea together.
“How long were you on the stage, Loretta?”
“Ten years. I gave it up because the lifestyle was too intense. I came here—I already had a teaching degree— when I decided to find a nice small town to settle in.”
Lily shook her head at the story. “I love Broadway. What roles did you play?”
As she listened, she thought again of her idea for a column in the Sentinel. Which was one reason why she was so glad to see Simon stride into the drugstore and approach the prescription counter. He smiled at the pharmacist, Mr. Atherton, and made small talk. Lily took surreptitious glances at him. He was wearing shorts today, as she was, in deference to the warm weather. His legs were muscular, and the matching navy T-shirt outlined a chest that she already knew was sinewy. And solid. And strong.
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Kathryn Shay
Be My Babies
Kathryn Shay
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Table of Contents
Cover (#u1967c0af-5225-5c07-967c-8ce925ad45ef)
Title Page (#u1e19cf95-33fe-5a08-91b5-c13e6d453fcf)
About The Author (#ud9924d96-8957-5993-b078-b6a79d6ce31c)
Dedication (#u691be062-ed2c-53be-8d8e-2f65f01224cc)
Chapter One (#ubfece935-5033-56b5-b796-f65cebd71600)
Chapter Two (#u5f102d04-4f18-5377-88bf-33121c669068)
Chapter Three (#u7aac5ca5-536a-5a4b-b659-2fcdd011301f)
Chapter Four (#u87786986-8c03-5000-a2b1-3a3489a60bfa)
Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fifteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Sixteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seventeen (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
Kathryn Shay is a lifelong writer. At fifteen, she penned her first “romance,” a short story about a female newspaper reporter in New York City and her fight to make a name for herself in a world of male journalists - and with one hardheaded editor, in particular. Looking back, Kathryn says she should have known then that writing was in her future.
Kathryn has become known for her powerful characterisations - readers say they feel they know the people in her books - and her heart-wrenching, emotional writing. (Her favourite comments are that fans cried while reading her books or stayed up late to finish them.) In testament to her skill, the author has won five Romantic Times BookClub Magazine Reviewers’ Choice Awards, three Holt Medallions, two Desert Quill Awards, the Golden Leaf Award and several online accolades.
She lives in upstate New York with her husband and two children.
To Patrick Hoff. May you grow up to be the kind of hero in this book.
Chapter One
STANDING OUTSIDE the Sentinel, Lily Wakefield slid the crumpled yellowed article from her purse and held it up in front of the old brick edifice. The newspaper office looked more or less the same as it had when her mother, Cameron, clipped the picture just before she left Fairview, New York, carrying a suitcase containing practical clothes, serviceable shoes and one hundred dollars. Now, Lily stood before the building in her Prada sandals, DKNY slacks and tailored jacket, with about the same amount of cash in her wallet. The Louis Vuitton bag at her side held a few more outfits, but only as many as she could carry.
Someone bumped into her, said, “Excuse me,” and kept going.
Lily nodded and stayed where she was.
About five feet away, the man turned back. “Are you all right?”
“What? Oh, yes.”
Glancing up at the sky, he frowned. “Looks like we’re in for one of those April showers.” His comment was underscored by a draft of wind that lifted and swirled her dark chin-length hair around her face. He pointed to the office. “There’s a pot of coffee in there and some homemade cookies that Mrs. Billings made. Want to come in?”
“Um, yes, I guess I do. Thanks.”
Bending down, he picked up her suitcase before she could take hold of it and walked alongside her toward the front doors.
It’s a beautiful place. It used to be an old home, and then it was converted into the newspaper offices. In the front reception and waiting area, there’s a fireplace, a comfortable couch and chairs, and a worn desk like the kind you’d see in reruns of the old TV show, Superman. I used to love to go there after school and wait for Daddy to be done with work.
What Lily’s mother hadn’t told her, and what she only figured out years later, was that Cameron would have done anything to delay going home to her own mother.
Once they were inside, the man motioned to the couch. “Please, sit down.” When she’d seated herself, he added, “I’m Simon McCarthy.”
“Lily Wakefield.”
“Nice to meet you.” Again, he smiled. His hazel eyes did, too. “Would you like some coffee?”
“I—I can’t have that.”
“Oh.” When Lily said no more, he asked, “How about tea?”
“Decaffeinated would be okay. Lovely, really, but don’t fuss.”
“No problem.” He went into the back room, and while he was gone Lily studied her surroundings. The windows let in the afternoon breeze, along with the chirping of the birds in the leafy maple trees outside. Engraved plaques hung on the wall before her, citing the Sentinel and its editor for various good works. Pictures were interspersed with the awards describing the accomplishments of the paper and its reporters. A few minutes later, Simon returned with a steaming mug. Lily took the cup and sniffed. Mmm. Cinnamon. “Thank you so much.” It had been a long time since a man had waited on her.
When she said nothing more, he sat down on a chair opposite her. “Is there a reason you were out there just staring at the building?” He nodded to the suitcase. “With that?”
Her stomach churned. She prayed she wouldn’t get sick all over this total stranger. “Yes.” She glanced up at one of the pictures she’d noticed earlier. Its headline read, Gardner Garners The Gold—Best Of Small-town Newspapers. From other photos she’d seen, she recognized the man. “I’m looking for him, Gil Gardner.”
Simon tracked her gaze. “I’m not quite sure where he is today.”
“Is he out on a story?”
“No, he doesn’t cover the news anymore.” Sandy eyebrows were raised. They matched his short, dark blond hair, which had a bit of curl. “He’s at the office sometimes, but he doesn’t do much reporting.”
“Doesn’t he own the paper?”
“Yeah, he’s still the owner. But I run the place. I’m editor in chief.” He chuckled self-effacingly. “And a lot of other things. Our staff is small and the tasks are many.”
Because she still wasn’t ready to explain herself to him, she dodged his question about why she was here and said only, “I’m sure newspaper work is taxing.”
His gaze narrowed on her. “Do you know Gil?”
“I’ve never met him, no.” Her hands began to tremble. Steaming tea sloshed over onto her fingers.
“Here.” He handed her a handkerchief pulled from his pocket.
“Thanks.”
“Why are you shaking?”
“I’m fine. Listen, could you call my…call Gil? I need to see him.”
“I guess I could.”
She noticed he had Gil’s number on speed dial. Who would be in Lily’s top five these days? A paltry few. But it was her own fault for letting her life unfold as it had. And now when she needed help, she was going to have to turn to strangers. The thought scared her to death.
Simon was frowning as he spoke into the phone. “Yeah, Gil, it’s me, Simon. I need you to come to the office as soon as you get this message. I’ll explain why then.” He clicked off.
“Thank you, Mr. McCarthy.”
“A lot of cloak-and-dagger,” he said easily.
“I suppose. But I have my reasons.”
“What are they?”
“I’d rather not say.” Lily was a private person by nature, and she was particularly embarrassed by her present circumstances. And though he seemed nice enough, who knew what this man’s relationship was with Gil?
The bell over the door sounded and Simon and Lily looked toward it. A teenager stepped inside. “Dad?”
Even if the girl hadn’t uttered the word, Lily would have known immediately that she was Simon’s daughter. Same tawny hair, although hers hung almost to her waist. Same hazel eyes. Nose, a feminine version of his. She had an aura about her, too, making Lily want to sketch her.
“Hi, honey.” He introduced her to Lily.
“Grandpa Gil’s coming in behind me. Katie and I were walking home and he picked us up. It’s starting to drizzle.”
The cup jerked and tea sloshed again. “Grandpa?” Lily asked.
Jenna smiled. “Not my real grandpa, but he’s like one.”
Lily got the drift. In other words, Gil had found a replacement. Well, why not? So had Derek.
Again, the door opened, and in walked a tall, lanky man with a full head of salt-and-pepper hair and blue eyes just like Lily’s mother’s. And her own. Lily felt her heart thump in her chest at finally seeing Gil in person.
“Hi, everyone.” He focused on Lily. “Who’s our gu—” Before he could finish his statement, Gil’s complexion paled and he grabbed on to the high table just inside the door.
Jumping up from his chair, Simon rushed over to him. “Gil, is it your heart again?”
“Grandpa?” Jenna sounded afraid, too.
Gil’s mouth was slack-jawed as he stared at Lily. Finally, he said, “Not like you mean.”
“What, Gil?”
“It’s my heart, but not like you mean.” Letting go of Simon, he crossed the room. “Who are you? You look just like my daughter, Cameron.”
“I know I do. I’m her daughter, Lily.”
SIMON WATCHED IN AWE—and with a little bit of horror— as tears filled Gil’s eyes. In the almost thirty years he’d known the man, he’d never once seen him cry. “Gil, are you all right?”
“Grandpa?” Jenna’s tone was even more worried.
“You’re Cami’s girl?”
Lily stood. She couldn’t tear her gaze from him, either. “Yes, I am. I’m sorry to spring myself on you unannounced.”
His face was still ashen. “I know…I know Cami died. We found out through a lawyer. But…she had a daughter? The only thing she ever wrote to us was that she hadn’t gone through with her pregnancy.”
Now, Lily Wakefield’s face paled and she reseated herself. “That’s new information to me.” She bit her lip. “I realize this is a shock, Mr. Gardner.”
After a moment, Gil, also, took a chair. Simon followed suit, while Jenna sat on the opposite end of the couch from Lily. “I—I didn’t know,” Gil repeated.
Lily glanced nervously at Simon. “Is there somewhere we can go to talk privately?”
“What? Oh, no need for that. Simon and Jenna are like family. I want them to hear what you have to say.”
Frown lines around the woman’s mouth told Simon that she wasn’t pleased by Gil’s answer. Who cared? No way was he leaving Gil alone with this stranger who claimed to be his granddaughter. She could be anybody.
Sighing, she drew a sheaf of papers from her purse. “I have documentation to verify who I am.”
When Gil didn’t take what she offered, but just stared at her, Simon snatched the papers from her hand. Birth certificate for Liliana Clarkson. Mother, Cameron Gardner Clarkson. Father unknown. There were also pictures. Photocopied drivers’ licenses, social security cards for Lily and her mother, a passport. And a picture of a young girl with Gil in his youth. “They seem in order.” Simon would have his sister, Sara, a lawyer in town, check them out, though. Documents could be forged and stories made up. He’d arrange a background check on this woman, at least.
“Do you have any idea what a gift you’ve brought me?” Gil finally asked her.
“Have I?” Lily’s gaze hardened almost imperceptively. “You didn’t stay in touch with your own daughter.”
Jenna gasped, and Gil’s face reddened. “It sounds horrible. It is horrible.”
Simon sat forward. “Gil, you know what happened with Cameron wasn’t all your fault.”
“It was all my fault. No one will ever convince me otherwise.”
Simon was not only wary now, but anger bubbled inside him. If what this woman said was true, she’d surely resent what had happened to her mother, and rightfully so. But given that, her motive for coming to Fairview couldn’t be good. Who could possibly forgive that kind of abandonment? “Is this why you came here—to make accusations at Gil? To hurt him with them?”
Lily focused on her grandfather. “I don’t want to hurt you. That’s not why I’m here.”
“Why, then?” Simon knew his tone was too harsh, but he worried about Gil—especially after his heart attack a few years ago. He’d protect Gil from Lily Wakefield, even if Gil wouldn’t protect himself.
“Dad?”
“Simon…” Gil admonished.
But Lily held up her hand. “I’ll answer his question.” She looked around. “But privately. I don’t feel comfortable baring my soul in front of strangers.”
Gil stood. “Then come with me. My house isn’t far.” To Simon he said, “I’ll call you later.”
Simon watched them go out the door. He had a feeling this wasn’t going to be good, and he hated it when he couldn’t keep the people he loved safe.
“Dad, is Grandpa Gil gonna be okay?”
“I hope so, honey. I hope so.”
TAKING IN A DEEP BREATH, Gil faced his granddaughter over the kitchen table in the home where her mother had grown up. No, that was wrong. Cami hadn’t finished growing up here. Alice hadn’t given her the chance to, and part of the whole ugly chain of events involved the fact that Gil himself had allowed his wife to have her way regarding their daughter. As he’d told Simon, his role in what happened was something for which he’d never forgive himself.
“Are you comfortable, Lily? In that straight chair?”
“Yes. My back feels better in one of these.” She sipped the tea he’d fixed her, while he made strong coffee for himself.
“Then talk to me. Tell me why you’ve come here.”
Shaking back her hair, Lily held his gaze. “I’m here because I’m pregnant and I have nowhere else to go.”
Gil froze. Oh, my God, just like Cameron. For a few moments, he couldn’t speak. Finally, he recovered his equilibrium. “What about the baby’s father?”
“Babies.”
“Excuse me?”
Her smile was as broad and generous as his daughter’s had been before things went bad. “I’m having twins.”
“Twins? That’s great.” What to say? “Are you feeling well?”
“I am.” She placed her hand on her abdomen. “The first trimester was hard, but it’s been better this past month.”
He felt awkward talking about this but he forged ahead. “How far into the pregnancy are you?”
“Four months.”
She didn’t look it. She was thin, and her complexion was pale. Her makeup was perfect, however, and her dark hair was stylishly cut. Yet, despite the sophisticated exterior, there was a vulnerability about her that tugged at his heart.
“Twins don’t always go full-term, but I’m going to make sure mine do.”
“You didn’t answer my question about the father.”
“He’s in no condition to help us now.” She drew in a deep breath. “So I came to you.”
Why she’d even ask him after what he did—or didn’t do—for her mother was beyond Gil. But maybe, in some convoluted way, Lily Wakefield showing up here was a chance for Gil to make up for having let his daughter down when she was having a child. “I can and I will,” he said instinctively. “I’ll do whatever you want. Is it money?”
“No! I didn’t come for a handout.”
He recoiled. “I didn’t mean it that way.”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t snap at you.”
He drank his coffee and measured his words. She should be doing more than snapping at him. “Then what do you need from me, Lily? What can I do for you?”
“For now, a place to live, until I can find a job. I’d like to look for one in Fairview, if you wouldn’t mind my staying in town.”
“I’d love to have you in Fairview—and in my home, for as long as you want. But should you be working?”
“Pregnant women have been working for centuries.”
Stalling for time, he got up and poured himself more coffee, let its strong scent waft up to him. “I don’t want to rush you. I’m in foreign waters here. You’ll have to tell me what’s best for you.”
“That’s a switch.”
He pivoted to face her. “What?”
“In the situation I came from, nobody cared much about what I wanted.”
“Do you want to tell me about that first?”
Her slate-blue eyes grew shadowed. “No, not yet.”
“All right. Will you tell me about Cami and your life together? I never knew how she fared.”
“Nobody called her Cami.”
“No? I guess it was only my pet name for her.”
Lily shook her head. “You talk about her so…warmly, but I know she was kicked out of her home when she got pregnant.”
“That’s not exactly what happened.”
“It’s what she told me.”
“We sent her away to have the baby at a place for unmarried girls who were pregnant.”
“She saw that as the same thing. In any case, she didn’t blame you—just her mother. She talked about you in a kind way, too, which is why I felt I could come here.”
“Where did she go when she left Fairview?”
Lily fidgeted. Shifted in her seat. “Downstate. I grew up in New York City. She worked there as a waitress. She died in a bus accident.”
With his newsman’s instinct, Gil read Lily easily. Either what she said wasn’t true or it wasn’t the whole story. “I have no information at all on her life after she left us.”
“She wanted it that way.” Lily yawned. “I’m sorry—it’s been a long day. Would you mind if I rested a bit?”
“The house has several bedrooms. You can take your pick.”
Now those eyes, so much like his daughter’s that it made his heart ache, clouded over. “Would the one where my mother stayed be okay?”
“More than okay.” He smiled, but he felt as if somebody had kicked him in the gut. “It’s been redone.” Alice had said it was better that way. “But I saved Cami’s things.”
“I—I didn’t expect that.” She yawned again. “Oh, excuse me.”
Standing, he set his empty mug in the sink and rinsed it. “Give me a minute to go tidy up the room. Put on sheets, air it out a bit.”
“I can do that myself.”
“Please, Lily. Let me.”
“All right.” Gil had crossed to the doorway, when she said, “I don’t know what to call you.”
Grandpa. Please, call me Grandpa. He smiled over his shoulder. “Whatever’s comfortable for you.”
She nodded. “Thanks for not pushing—about that or what’s happened to me.”
“You’re welcome. I meant what I said about being given a gift.”
This time around, he planned to embrace it.
“WHY’S SHE HERE, DAD?”
Ah, the sixty-four-thousand-dollar question. “I don’t know, honey, except for what Gil told me when he called.”
At the long counter, Jenna was tearing lettuce to make a salad while Simon put rigatoni into boiling water at the stove. The scent of the meat sauce his daughter had made over the weekend spiced up the whole sunny kitchen.
Jenna’s thick braid swung back and forth as she shook her head. “It must be scary, being pregnant and having no place to go.” She frowned. “Why didn’t Grandpa Gil ever know about Lily?”
Though she was still young and innocent by today’s standards for a teenage girl, Jenna was sixteen. Old enough to know the truth and learn about the foibles of people she loved and admired. He was chagrined to think that she didn’t know about his own. Turning the heat down on the pasta, he crossed to the bar that jutted out from the counter. “Sit a minute, honey.”
They took stools opposite each other. “Gil’s daughter left home when she was sixteen.”
“No way. Dad, that’s my age.”
“I know. What’s more, she was pregnant.”
“With Lily? Then, why didn’t Grandpa know about her?”
He explained about Alice and Gil’s decision. “Actually, Cameron never went to the home. She ran away.”
“Grandpa Gil did that?”
“It was more his wife’s decision. You didn’t know Alice.”
“Did you?”
“Only after Cameron left. She was a stern woman—a strong believer in propriety and paying for your sins.”
“She sent her own kid away to punish her?” Jenna said the words as if she couldn’t quite grasp the concept. As her father, Simon was glad Jenna found the behavior incomprehensible.
“I’ve always thought so. And to avoid scandal. Her parents, the Caldwells, were well-known in Fairview. You know the term pillars of the community?”
Jenna nodded.
“That’s what her family was.”
“Yours, too, Dad. Everybody in town still talks about how great your mom and dad were.”
Simon smiled. He’d adored his mother, Catherine, who’d been a teacher, and his guidance counselor father, Patrick, had been his best friend. When they were killed in a boating accident, Simon had been twenty and he’d walked around in a daze for months, mourned them for years. He’d always vowed to be as good a father as his own had been.
“My parents were well loved, but they didn’t have the clout of the Caldwells. They had a lot of money. They owned the Sentinel, as well as some stores in the area. Gil said Alice was trying to avoid embarrassing the family, so they told everybody Cameron was going away to a private school.”
“What happened when she never came back?”
“The real story seeped out. People got wind of the pregnancy. Ironically, it wasn’t a big deal to anyone but Alice, and gossip died quickly. Her parents survived just fine. But Alice went a little crazy.”
“She doesn’t sound like the kind of person Grandpa Gil would marry.”
“She had her good traits. She did a lot of charitable work in her church. But she grew more severe as she got older.”
“Huh.”
“Between trying to run the paper and deal with his wife, Gil was a wreck.”
Jenna’s brows furrowed. “He should have stood up for his daughter, Dad. It sucks that he didn’t.”
“I think it’s best not to judge people, Jen.” Especially not their marriages. “We know the broad strokes, but not all of what happened.”
His daughter studied him.
Simon took her hand. “You know, don’t you, that you could never do anything that would make me send you away?”
Her eyes twinkled. “Even if I dated that motorcycle guy who just moved here from the city?”
“What motorcycle…” He stopped. “You’re teasing.”
“Yep. You’re an easy mark, Dad. You need a life.”
They both stood, and from behind he got her in a headlock. Kissed her hair. “You, little girl, can be a brat.”
“I love you, Daddy. Now come on, let’s eat.”
The meal was satisfying, and Simon enjoyed his daughter’s company. Even if she didn’t know all his foibles, what his life had really been like before Marian died. He wondered briefly if she’d ever be old enough to handle those details?
LILY’S GRANDFATHER looked over at her when she came to the doorway of the kitchen. He was stirring something at the stove and it smelled heavenly. “Did you rest?” he asked.
“Yes, I fell asleep right away, but I’ve been up for a bit. I went through a few of the boxes you left on the dresser.” She couldn’t resist a glance into her mother’s past.
“Ah.” He adjusted the heat on the burner. “Ready for some supper?”
He seemed more uncomfortable than he’d been before she went upstairs. Nervous. Maybe he had had too much time to think about the history between them.
Dropping down into a kitchen chair, she watched him. “Do you mind talking about those boxes for a minute?”
“No. Of course not.” He leaned against the counter.
“I found a christening gown in the one marked baby things.” It had smelled musty, but it was beautifully preserved.
“Your great-grandmother made it. You can have it for one of your twins, if you want.”
“Maybe. Whose handwriting was in the baby book?”
“My wife, Alice’s. Your grandmother.”
Well, at least there had been some good times. Loving comments had been recorded about Cameron’s early development. As if he read her thoughts, Gil said aloud, “Those were happy years for us all.”
There was a second carton, marked Cameron’s School Days. It included pictures, drawings, some done with finger paint. A few notes from teachers. Report cards. Lily’s mother had been smart and well liked by her fifth grade class. Somebody had saved all that, too.
Lily held up a diary. “This was in the last box from my mother’s high school years. Along with a faded corsage, pictures with a few girls, things like that.”
Gil pushed off from the counter and got plates out of the cupboard. “Alice read it, looking for a clue to where Cami might have gone when she never showed up at the Sisters of Mercy home.”
“There’s not much in here.”
He retrieved silverware and set everything on the table. She sniffed when he set a bowl on the table. “Spaghetti?”
“Mmm. Jenna made it yesterday for me.” Gil sat at the table. “What were you looking for in the diary, Lily?”
“Information about my father.”
“I’m afraid we never knew who he was. Cami refused to tell us. That pregnancy capped off several bad years. Did you ever ask your mother about him?”
“Yes, but she didn’t tell me much.”
He was a boy I met in a bar outside of town, where I used a fake ID. He wasn’t interested in either you or me after I got pregnant and he left the area. I never heard from him again.
I’m sorry, Lily, but you should know the truth. Men— they’re not reliable. I hope you have better luck than I had, but there it is.
“I’m sorry,” Gil said. “I wish I could tell you more.”
Maybe that was for the best. Discussion of a father who didn’t want her made Lily realize she was depending on a man who’d left his own child fatherless.
Placing the diary on the oak table, Lily shook her head. “Guess we’ll never know who he was.”
“Does it matter now?”
She stared at him for a long time. “Fathers always matter.”
It was too bad that Gil Gardner hadn’t learned that sooner.
A SMALL READING LAMP illuminated the darkness as Simon sat at the desk in his den refiguring his finances. He’d awakened at 4:00 a.m. after a vivid nightmare. He’d dreamed that Lily Wakefield had taken ownership of the Sentinel and kicked him and Jenna out on the street. Not that he’d ever be destitute. Despite the fact that he was slowly buying up the paper’s shares and now owned a whopping thirty percent, he’d made sure he and Jenna had their nest egg. If he did lose the paper, he’d only have lost his dream and not his ability to take care of his daughter.
Still, here he was before dawn, adding up the numbers again. He shook his head. There was no way he could expedite this process. He’d just worked himself out of debt from Marian’s accident and Jenna’s medical bills. He tried to tell himself that was okay, that Gil had assured him there was no hurry. After his heart attack, Gil had even put it in his will that Simon had the option to buy the remaining stock if anything happened to him. He’d wanted to leave the paper outright to Simon and Jenna, but Simon had balked. As it was, Gil’s plan would guarantee that no one else could take over the Sentinel, especially a larger chain such as the Heard Corporation, which had already approached them about a buyout.
Now, the appearance of Lily Wakefield put a whole new spin on Simon taking ownership. Finally, he admitted that to himself. Though he was mostly worried about Gil, this possibility had been buzzing around in his subconscious since he’d met Lily yesterday.
He leaned back and sipped his coffee. Damn it, wasn’t even a single part of his life going to go easily?
Think about your priorities.
Jenna. She meant everything to him. Guilt, dark and ugly, reared its head. His daughter had been the most important person in the world to him since the day she’d been born, but he still hadn’t managed to protect her completely. Instead, when Marian had wrapped her car around that pole and hurt Jenna in the process, Simon had blamed himself. It was one of the reasons Simon understood Gil and his situation with Cameron so well.
But this time, when Simon had the chance to protect someone he loved, he was going to make damn sure he did it. And if Lily Wakefield got caught in the cross fire, so be it.
Chapter Two
LILY LAY BACK against the pillows and watched the morning sun stream in through her bedroom windows. The birds had awakened her at dawn, but she’d dozed off again. She couldn’t believe she was sleeping so much, or that she’d been so lazy all week since she’d arrived in Fairview. At home, in Westchester, having Derek to tend to, and, worse, his parents’ constant visits had kept her on edge and unable to relax or sleep well. She hadn’t realized how the anxiety of her life had affected her physically until she’d begun to feel better here, in the cocoon of her grandfather’s house.
There was a knock on her door, a light tapping, in case she was still asleep. This had become a morning routine— one she was beginning to cherish.
“I’m awake, Gil.”
Entering with a tray, he smiled. “Good morning. You look rested.”
“Completely.” She looked askance at what he carried. “I wish you wouldn’t do this.”
“You gave me a week to pamper you, and I’m thoroughly enjoying myself.”
At times like these, Lily couldn’t imagine Gil allowing her mother to leave his house and certainly never kicking her out. It just didn’t make sense. But yesterday he’d come clean with the fact that he had, indeed, let Alice send Cameron to the home for unwed mothers. He took full blame for it, which had eased somewhat her resentment of what he’d done. As did his confession that his daughter’s disappearance had caused him long-standing guilt and grief. He’d also tried to undo it, but ultimately he couldn’t find her. Though Lily would never understand what he’d done, she was coming to terms with his actions.
Now, he beamed as he approached the bed. “This is the last day I’ll spoil you.”
She glanced at the tray after he set it down and inhaled the scents of cinnamon and warm bread. “Oh, Lord, I love French toast.”
Gil cleared his throat. “So did your mother. We used to make it Saturday mornings before I went to work.”
Picking up a glass, she sipped the tart orange juice. “You worked Saturdays?”
“And Sundays.” He took a seat near the window. “In those days, I was a workaholic, Lily.”
“That’s what you implied yesterday.” She didn’t want the resurrection of the topic to ruin the morning, so instead she nodded to the tray. “I see you brought the paper.”
“Yeah, it looks great this week.”
“Simon’s a good editor?”
His eyes sparkled. “He learned from the best.”
“I’ll bet.” She settled her hand on the newsprint. “I’m going to look for a job today, Gil.”
“I wish you wouldn’t. There’s no need.”
“I can’t just laze in bed forever.”
“Why?”
“It isn’t right.”
“It might be right for the babies.”
“I won’t overdo it. I have to start taking control of my life.”
He checked his watch. “Jake is coming in an hour to pick me up for our bowling league. I’ve got time, if you want to tell me about that. About Derek.”
Lily had yet to reveal the reason she’d run away from her husband or tell Gil what really happened to her and Cameron all those years ago. Now might be the time to explain about Derek. But she didn’t know if she’d ever tell him the latter. Some things were better kept from a father.
She bit into the toast. It was delicious. “A shortened version, maybe. After I eat.”
When she finished her meal, Gil took the tray and put it on the dresser. Sitting back down, he said, “I’m listening.” He’d brought a mug of coffee for himself and he sipped from it as she talked.
“I met Derek after college. His family business was a big customer of the agency I worked for and Derek was at the firm a lot.”
“What business is he in?”
“Wakefield Enterprises.”
“Wow, I didn’t make the connection. Huge conglomerate.”
“They’re rich.” And spoiled and arrogant.
“So why do you need a job, Lily?”
“Because it’s the Wakefields’ money. When I left the house in Westchester, I took some clothes and my jewelry, but not even my car. I only took the jewelry because I needed a security blanket, and because I intend to pay my own medical bills when I have the babies.”
“What on earth brought you to this point?”
“Derek swept me off my feet. He was so charismatic, I didn’t stand a chance.” She could still remember a young black-haired, blue-eyed Derek wining and dining her, catering to her every whim, professing his undying love. She didn’t know until after they were married that this wasn’t the real Derek Wakefield, this wasn’t his true personality. She explained all this to her grandfather.
“Once we were together, he couldn’t keep up the facade. But by then it was too late, because I was crazy about him. I thought I could handle the negligence and self-centeredness.” She shook her head. “It wasn’t until we tried to have a child that things became unbearable.”
“You had problems…in that area?”
“Yes. Derek wouldn’t get tested, but there were no physical issues with me.” She shrugged. “Still, maybe I was too tense.”
“How did he feel when you told him you finally were pregnant?”
She waited a long time before she answered. “I didn’t.”
In her mind, she could still see their last scene together.
She’d come home from her doctor’s appointment elated, having waited to tell Derek about the pregnancy until she was past the miscarriage stage. That day, she’d rushed to his downstairs office, knocked and entered without waiting for a reply. And there he was…
“What are you doing?” she’d asked, horrified.
The traces of white powder still visible beneath his nose, and the paraphernalia on the desk answered her question.
“Get out of here. This is my business.”
“Derek, you can’t—”
“I said get the hell out.” He came around the desk as fast as a jaguar. When she didn’t move, he yelled, “I said, get out!”
“Derek, please.”
The slap came fast and it was hard enough to knock her back against the door. And for the first time Lily was afraid he’d hurt her and the babies.
She told Gil everything, except the part about Derek hitting her. For some reason, she couldn’t share that with him. “So I left.”
“Oh, Lily, I’m sorry.”
“Me, too. I’m going to file for a legal separation, but I need to get back on my feet again first, in case he isn’t agreeable.”
“Do you still care about him?”
“Derek was my first love, and I think I’ll always care about him. But now I have two children to protect.”
His eyes widened beneath bushy brows. “You’re not going to tell him about them?”
“I’m afraid for them, and truthfully, I’m afraid his parents might try to take them from me. I just don’t have everything figured out yet, Gil.”
“You’re not alone anymore. I’m here for you.” His eyes were sad. “I know I wasn’t there for your mother, but I learned what’s important.”
She wanted to believe that, but Lily had a hard time trusting men these days.
The doorbell rang. Rising, her grandfather said, “That’s Jake. I’ve got to go.”
“Tell him I made an appointment with Dr. Rabin.” Jake was Doc Jacobs, an established physician in town and Gil’s best friend. He had a young partner who was slowly taking over his practice. “The last time he came here, he insisted. I do need checkups.”
“I’ll tell him.” Leaning over, he kissed Lily’s head. It was the first time he’d done that. “I’ll be back this afternoon.”
“Enjoy bowling and lunch.”
After Gil left, Lily was feeling discomfited, probably because she still had some conflicted feelings about Gil’s role in her mother’s life. And because she’d talked about Derek. She’d tried to downplay that last encounter to Gil, but in reality the scene had been a nightmare. Getting out of the house unnoticed. Covering her tracks. Derek wouldn’t be able to trace her to Fairview because when she met him she’d been using the Clarkson name—which her mother had taken to protect her identity—and he’d never known Lily’s connection with the Gardners.
To dispel her anxiety, Lily opened the Sentinel to search for the classifieds. She’d feel better if she was doing something with her time.
The paper did look good, though with her art and advertising background, she couldn’t help thinking of improvements that could be made to the layout and design. The classifieds, especially, needed revamping. She began circling jobs that she could do and not be on her feet all day. There weren’t many. She was halfway through the ads when the phone rang, and she answered the extension by her bed. “Gardner residence.”
A hesitation. “Lily? This is Simon McCarthy. Is Gil there?”
“Ah, no. He just left to go bowling and have lunch with Doc Jacobs.”
“Damn.”
“Is something wrong?”
“Our receptionist called in sick and we’re fielding a lot of local ads today.” He sighed. “Never mind, I’ll try Sammy’s mother. She might be able to pitch in.”
Sammy Johnston was the photographer on staff. From the looks of the paper, she was a good one.
“What about me?”
“You?”
“I can answer phones. Take ad copy.”
“No, that’s okay.”
“Really, Simon. I was just looking at the classifieds for myself.”
“You’re staying in town?” His tone of voice was odd.
“For a while. I need to earn my keep.”
“I see.”
“Give me a half hour to shower and get over there.”
“I don’t think…”
“I insist I be allowed to help out. See you then.”
Lily hung up, wondering why Simon McCarthy didn’t want her at the Sentinel. She allowed a spark of anger to surface. She was on her way to becoming the woman she’d been pre-Derek and here was another man who seemed to want to hold her back. Well, not again. She’d be damned if she let Simon McCarthy interfere in her life.
SIMON DIDN’T WANT HER HERE. When she walked through the door, he felt trouble sidle in along with her. She looked rested today. Her cheeks were rosy from the walk here and the warm April wind had played havoc with her hair, tumbling it into wavy masses. The light blue top she wore with a navy skirt accented the color of her eyes. “Hi. I told you that you didn’t have to come.”
At that moment, Sammy poked her head out from the newsroom. “Simon, we need you back here.” She smiled. “Hi, Lily. Feeling okay?”
“Yes. Thanks.”
Just then, the phone rang.
Lily crossed to the desk. “Go back. I’ll get that.”
“Suit yourself.” He disappeared into the newsroom, cursing the curtness of his voice.
After he’d made the decision about which photo to use for the upcoming fair in town, he went back out front.
Lily was sitting at the desk, taking notes. “Why, yes, Mr. Martini, I think that copy reads well. Might I suggest a little tweak?”
Simon stood behind her and watched. She smiled into the phone and listened to the caller. “Perhaps replace cute with adorable.” She paused. “All right, good. Do we usually bill you? What? Well, news travels fast. Uh-huh, I’m his granddaughter. Why, thank you so much. I’m glad to be here.”
When she hung up, she swiveled the desk chair around and saw Simon. “Lots of ads coming in today. That’s the third since you went back.”
“I know. It picks up on Friday. You’ve made yourself at home.”
Her eyes narrowed. The mirth had gone out of them. “I hope I’m helping.”
Running a hand through his hair, he said, “Sorry. You are.”
“Is there a reason you don’t want me here, Simon?”
About a thousand. He could never reveal his worry that she might make a claim to the paper, but eventually he was going to warn her not to hurt Gil. “Gil said you were exhausted. I don’t want to answer to him if you get tired out.”
Her hand went to her abdomen. “Didn’t your wife work when she was pregnant with Jenna?”
“No. She was sick a lot, throughout the first and second trimesters.” He glanced at his watch. “I’ve got an appointment with the mayor in ten minutes. I have to go. I hate to leave…”
“Don’t worry, I won’t run off with the company savings.”
His heart knocked against his chest.
“Kidding. I can hold down the fort.”
“Our advertising guy is out soliciting ads and Sammy’s only here in the mornings, but Evan, the other reporter, is in back.”
“Fine.”
“We usually close at lunchtime.”
Her expression was amused. “Really?”
“Uh-huh. Fairview’s pretty much a reincarnation of Mayberry, only bigger.”
“It’s a nice town. I like it.”
“You can go home at twelve. I’ll be back by one.”
“Trying to get rid of me?”
“Of course not.” He snapped the words at her, then started out.
“Simon, wait.” He turned back. “Have I done something to offend you?”
Just exist. “No, I’m sorry. I’m swamped, is all.”
“Then go unswamp yourself.” The phone rang and she picked it up. “The Sentinel. Lily speaking. Why yes, yes, I’m taking the information today.” She arched a brow at him. “Mr. Martini said what? Oh, how nice, Mrs. Conklin. Yes, I’ll help you with the phrasing.”
Simon scowled as he left the office. He’d never expected her to fit in here. Didn’t want her to. As he stepped outside into the bright sunlight, he felt a sense of things slipping right through his fingers. And Lily Wakefield was the cause.
AT NOON, AFTER LOCKING the front door as Evan had told her to do when he left for lunch, Lily had taken a twenty-minute nap on the couch and then she’d fixed herself some soup she’d found in the small kitchen out back. She’d just returned to the reception area with her sketch pad and tea, when she heard a knock at the door. Rising, Lily crossed to it. Jenna was there, wearing a light yellow top and capris to match and looking like sunshine herself. She let the girl in. “Hi, Jenna.”
“Hi, Lily. Is Dad here?”
“No, he’s gone out.”
“Darn. I wanted to have lunch with him.”
“I had some soup.” She nodded out back. “There’s more in the cupboard, if you want to eat and wait for him. I’ll make it for you.”
Her face was a lot friendlier than her father’s. “Cool. But I can fix it.”
Lily went back to the couch and began to sketch the wall where framed editions of old newspapers were. She’d learned this was Simon’s collection. As she drew, she thought about his daughter. Jenna had such an interesting face. A study of innocence on the verge of adulthood. Maybe she’d try drawing the girl today.
Jenna returned with a cup of soup and some crackers and sat on the chair. “Mmm, this is great.” She cocked her head. “What are you doing here?”
Lily told her.
“Poor Dad. He needs more staff, but I guess he can’t get it. I usually help out during summer vacations.” She nodded to the pad on Lily’s lap. “What are you doing?”
“Drawing.”
“What?”
“The wall of old newspapers.”
“Dad’s collection. He loves those things, but they’re expensive as all get out.”
“I’d like to draw you sometime, Jenna.”
The girl’s eyes lit up, accented by the sun coming in from the window. “Now?”
“How long do you have?”
“Lunch is forty-five minutes. Sometimes I stay here for the next class session. I have it free. The school doesn’t mind.”
“Then, now it is.”
They talked as Lily flipped the pages and began to sketch Jenna. “Tell me about yourself.”
“Well, my best friend’s name is Katie Welsh. We’re tight and we always hang together.”
“It’s nice to have friends. What do you take at school?”
“Same old, same old. I like English best.”
“You do? Why?”
“I dig reading. Dad’s read to me since I was little and I’ve never stopped. And my English teacher, Miss Jameson, is the bomb. She lets us pick a lot of independent stuff.”
“What are you reading now?”
“Ordinary People. I love the book, and we’re seeing the movie next week.”
“I loved that book, too. It’s sad, though.”
“You read?”
“Not much lately.”
Jenna waited a beat. “Are you in trouble, Lily?”
“Not like you mean.” How much should she tell this girl? “I left my old life because I didn’t feel safe there.”
“Why?”
She looked up and almost succumbed to the sincere expression on Jenna’s face. Amazing how, after only one week, she had to remind herself she didn’t know any of these people all that well. “Some of it’s private.”
Unselfconsciously the girl rolled her eyes. “Dad says I ask too many questions.”
“No, you don’t. Just so long as you can accept it when people don’t want to answer them.”
“I can. No worries.”
“What else do you do?”
“I’m in the plays here. Katie, too. We do one a year, and then there’s a summer production. Last fall, I was the second lead in No, No, Nanette.”
“I’m impressed. I saw a revival of that on Broadway.”
“I’m dying to go and see shows on Broadway.” She added, “I love to babysit, too. Hey, maybe Katie and I can babysit the twins when they get here.”
Lily’s pulse sped up. “I’m, um, not sure I’ll be in Fairview then.”
“Where would you go?”
She gripped the pencil tighter and had to stop drawing for a minute. “I honestly don’t know.”
“You should stay. Grandpa Gil loves having you here.”
She knew that, but she wondered how Jenna had figured it out. She asked the girl.
“He just acts it. He always talks about you and smiles a lot more than before you came. Dad says it’s good to see him happy.”
“That’s nice.”
After fifteen minutes, Lily studied the sketch. “It’s okay. Could use more detail. But there’s not much time left before the paper’s open again.”
“Can I see it?”
“Sure.”
Jenna plopped down close to Lily on the couch. “Wow. This is sweet.”
“Think so?”
“Yeah. You even got me holding a book.” She smiled at the picture. “Can I have it?”
“I’d rather finish…Oh!” Lily’s hand went to her abdomen. “Oh.”
“What? Are you okay?”
Tears came to Lily’s eyes.
“Lily, should I call somebody?”
“No, no, honey. I just felt a kick for the first time.”
“Get out!” She stared at Lily’s stomach. “What did it feel like?”
“A pressure pushing against my tummy. Oh, there’s another.”
“Maybe it’s the other baby.”
“Maybe.”
Jenna was silent. Then, she asked, “Lily, can I feel it?”
“Well…of course.” Not exactly how Lily planned sharing the first flutters of the babies—with a teenage girl she barely knew—but what the heck? At least someone was with her to appreciate this milestone. She took Jenna’s hand and moved it to where she’d felt the first kick. Nothing. “Come on, sweetie. Kick again for Jenna.”
In a few moments, there was another gentle nudge. “Man, Lily, that’s the best.” She moved her hand a bit and waited. “Oh, I felt that, too.”
“Looks like one isn’t going to be outdone by the other.”
The bell over the door sounded again and in walked Simon. He stopped short when he saw his daughter close to Lily on the couch. “Jenna, what are you doing here?”
“I came for lunch. You weren’t around, so I had soup with Lily.”
He checked his watch. “I see. You’d better get going.”
“Dad, she drew me. And then I felt the babies kick. It was so awesome.”
His face softened. “Which? The drawing or the kicking?”
“Both. Come look.”
Crossing to the couch, he stood behind them. He was so close, the scent of him practically surrounded Lily. Aftershave? Soap? “Hmm. Very nice. You’re good, Lily. What’s your background?”
“I was an art and design major in college.”
“Not much call for that in Mayberry.”
“I…”
The phone rang and Lily rose from the couch. “I’ll get it.”
“No, I will. You can go home now.”
“Dad?” Jenna had obviously caught the rudeness, too. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, sure.” He answered the phone. “Hello? Oh, yes, Mrs. Billings. She’s here. I guess it’s all right if you talk to her.” He held out the receiver. “You’re drumming up quite a fan club.”
Lily shrugged and ruffled Jenna’s hair. “I hope to see you soon.”
“I loved feeling the babies move. Do you know what they are?”
She took the phone, but before she spoke into it she grinned at Jenna. “Yep, one of each.”
“Isn’t that great, Daddy?” Jenna said.
“Great,” Simon said, staring at Lily. “Just great.”
DEREK WAKEFIELD rolled over in bed and reached for Liliana. When he came up with only a handful of silk duvet, he grunted. Gradually, he came awake to the smell of stale booze. There was a putrid taste in his mouth.
“Aw, shit,” he said, burying his face in his pillow. As awareness dawned, he began to crave another drink. Slowly, he opened one eye and stared at the clock until it came into focus. Noon. What day was it?
Sighing, he turned onto his back, and his stomach pitched. The bright sun slanted in from the skylight and hurt his eyes. Liliana liked spring afternoons—maybe he’d take her to the park. She looked so cute in that straw sun hat he’d bought her in the Caribbean.
Then he remembered. Liliana wasn’t here. She’d left in the middle of the night a week ago. Why had she done that? He had a vague recollection of something…her walking in…something happened. His head began to pound when he thought about it too hard.
The phone rang and he dragged a pillow over his head to block out the sound. When it persisted, he picked up the bedroom extension. “’ello.”
“Derek, it’s me.”
“Hello, Mother.”
“Are you all right?”
Sighing, he hoisted himself up and stuffed a pillow behind him. “I’m fine.”
“You missed a meeting with vendors this morning.”
“I did?”
“Listen, darling, I know you’re upset that Liliana left, though I think it might be for the best. But your father isn’t happy about your not showing up.”
“I’m sorry, Mother.” For a lot of things. Not the least of which was the wreckage he came face-to-face with when he looked around the bedroom. The desk chair was on its side. A lamp lay broken on the floor. A wastebasket was tipped over, its contents tumbling out onto the floor.
And several pictures of him and Liliana were smashed into pieces. He must have lost it last night. Damn, why did she have to leave him? He couldn’t function without her.
You couldn’t function with her, either.
He swore vilely.
“Derek!”
“Sorry, Mother. I stubbed my toe. What were you saying?”
“Would you like me to come over there? I could cancel my nail appointment. I know Liliana didn’t appreciate my visits, but now that she’s gone…”
He rubbed a hand over his jaw. God—days of growth. He could smell himself, too, and it wasn’t pleasant. “No, Mother. I’m going to shower and head over to the office.”
“Placate your father, dear.”
“All right. I’ll talk to you later.”
He hung up and surveyed the room again.
No wonder Liliana had left him.
Chapter Three
“OH, MR. MARTINI, they’re beautiful.” Simon watched Lily gush as she knelt on the floor of the reception area and picked up a furry black creature. She looked cute in a dark pink-and-red skirt and pink blouse. Not for the first time, he noticed how attractive she was. “He’s so little. And soft.”
“I like the one with white on his face.” Jenna scooped another kitten out of the box, and Simon watched as she held it the same way Lily held hers. For a minute, he worried. His daughter mimicked Lily Wakefield a lot these days. Then, with less effort than last week, he let it go. He believed in the old adage that you could tell a person’s true character by how he or she treated children, older people and animals.
In the three weeks she’d been in Fairview, Lily had earned gold stars in all categories. She even had the cranky O’Malley brothers behaving. They owned the local pub and usually made everybody miserable. It was odd how people in small towns were so trusting. But Simon vowed he’d keep a clear head about her. He would try not to jump to conclusions.
“Any takers on the ads?” Lily asked Mr. Martini, as she scratched the kitten’s neck. Her nails were painted pink to match her blouse.
The seventy-year-old man smiled at Lily. “All but these two.” He stretched out a stiff leg, and winked at Simon. “Don’t know what I’m gonna do with the last of them.”
Jenna’s eyes widened. She looked heartbreakingly young in overall shorts and a T-shirt, with her long hair pulled back in a ponytail. “Oh, Dad, can we?”
He stuck his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “Who’d take care of it?”
“Me. I’m not a baby. Lily says I’m very mature for my age.” She lifted a chin in a haughty manner. She’d learned that from Lily, too. “I can do it.”
“Well, if Lily said so.” The woman already had spent an inordinate amount of time with Jenna. She was even taking his daughter along to her next prenatal checkup after Jenna had begged to hear the babies’ heartbeats.
Lily looked over at Simon. Her smile was genuine and it did beautiful things to her eyes. Her face, fuller now, was alight with that pregnancy glow. He wondered about her life before she came here and why it had been stressful enough to make her thin and pale, as she’d been when she arrived. Gil hadn’t told him and he hadn’t asked. “They make wonderful pets, Simon.”
“I’ll think about it.”
After a minute, Lily stood and stretched, placing her hands on the small of her back.
“Your back hurt, Lily?” Jenna asked.
“A bit. I can’t figure out why. I’m not quite five months along. I haven’t gained that much weight. I’m not even in maternity clothes.”
“Cells are dividing in your lower back, stretching your muscles to accommodate the babies. Probably more than normal with twins.”
She stared at Simon, as if he were speaking Greek. “How do you know that?”
Simon brushed his hand down Jenna’s hair. “I learned everything I could about my baby girl, even before she was born.”
Mr. Martini harrumphed. “In my day, we didn’t take much interest.” He went on to tell Lily about his wife, who’d been dead ten years, and his four kids, all of whom had moved away to bigger cities.
Seating herself across from the older man, Lily listened intently, petting the kitten the whole time. Simon watched that soft rhythmic stroke, mesmerized. It stirred something inside him; something he hadn’t felt in a long time.
Eventually, Mr. Martini struggled to his feet. “So, should I take them back with me?”
“Dad?”
“All right. You can have one.”
Mr. Martini zeroed in on Lily. “What about you, young lady?”
“Me? Oh, no, I can’t have a kitten.” Her expression was sad.
“Why not?”
“What if I don’t stay?” Her voice trailed off, reminding Simon of the damage she could do to Gil and Jenna if— when—she left Fairview. Lately, that had been even more of a concern to him than her laying claim to the paper.
Then, she surprised them all by saying, “You know what? Yes, I’m going to take him.”
“Yay!” Jenna threw her arms around Lily. “They can visit each other for company.”
Lily laughed, Jenna laughed, and Mr. Martini forgot for a minute to maintain his gruff exterior and smiled broadly.
The front door opened, and Mr. Martini said under his breath, “Here comes Her Ladyship.”
“Hush,” Lily told him, then turned to the visitor. “Miss Jameson, how nice to see you.” She nodded to the woman’s outfit. “That green dress goes great with your hair and eyes.”
“Thank you, dear.” She held up a basket. “I brought you some muffins.”
A lot of people in town had been trying to feed her over the past month. “Oh, dear. I’m going to be a blimp by the time the babies come.”
The woman glanced at her stomach. “Are they doing well?”
“Yes. Kicking up a storm.”
“It must be a nice feeling.” Miss Jameson had been Simon’s high school English teacher, as well as Jenna’s now, and as far as he knew, she had never married or had a child. There was an aura of mystery to her, too, since she came from the big city and had settled here, all chic and sophisticated, like Lily. Miss Jameson glanced at Mr. Martini, who was heading for the door. “No need to go on my account, Marco.”
“Job’s done here, Loretta.” He tipped his summer hat. “Goodbye, ladies. Simon. Don’t work our girl too hard.”
As if he’d had any choice. “I won’t.”
Leaving the women to coo over babies and kittens, Simon went back to his office just off the newsroom and sat down at his desk. The mock-up of the classifieds was finished. He shook his head, wondering how life had changed so significantly in less than a month.
Lily had been working at the paper since that day Simon couldn’t reach Gil and she’d pitched in to help out. When Gil had found her at the office, he’d come up with the idea himself.
“This is perfect for you, Lily. You can sit down and take phone calls.”
“I can do more,” she’d said excitedly. She glanced at Simon, who knew his displeasure at the idea showed on his face. “I have some suggestions for the layout of the ads.”
“Already?” he asked.
“If it’s okay with you.”
She was always so hesitant, so self-effacing, that it had been hard to hang on to his doubts. Besides, Simon was sensible, if nothing else. “Sure. Truthfully, I’ve thought they needed an overhaul, but Tom Barker’s way too busy just getting the ad accounts.”
“Great.” The smile on Gil’s face had also made it hard for Simon to cling to his reservations.
Since that day, Simon’s negative feelings about Lily had dwindled even more. He stared at his latest editorial on global warming, thinking about how Lily was winning everybody over, including him. She’d been enthusiastic about these weekly columns, too, offering insights and effusive praise.
She came back to the office a half hour later.
“Where’s the kitten?”
“Jenna took both of them home. Miss Jameson was going to drive her, and get some food and kitty litter for them on the way. I hope that’s all right.”
“Yeah, as you said, she’s a big girl.”
“I can stop by and get Blackie on my way home.”
“Blackie? Very original.”
“Hers is Whiteface.”
“Clever.”
She regarded him with a knowing smile.
“What?”
“You’re a good father, Simon.”
“Am I?”
Perching on the edge of a chair, Lily crossed her legs. The gesture distracted him. She hadn’t worn stockings, so her legs were bare, and through her open-toed sandals he could see her pink toenails. “You know you are. Jenna’s a wonderful girl. You’ve raised her well.”
He leaned back and felt the familiar tightness in his chest. “When she got hurt, I thought I’d die.”
“Jenna was hurt? Gil didn’t tell me.”
“Her, um, mother died in a car accident when Jenna was five. Jenna was in the backseat.”
“Oh, no.” Was that moisture in her eyes? “How badly hurt was she?”
“A broken arm and leg. She had to have a pin put in her femur. And then there were years of therapy, to get her to walk without a limp.”
“You’d never know. She’s so graceful now.”
“Thank God.”
Giving him a watery smile, Lily shook her head. “You’ve had a difficult life.”
“You, too, I’m guessing.”
She averted her gaze over his shoulder.
“You don’t have to tell me. I know I’ve been unpleasant to you.”
Looking back at him, she asked, “Why, Simon? I can tell it’s not in your nature to be unkind.”
“The truth?”
“Of course. Always.”
“At first I worried about your motives. That you came here to…” He struggled for the right word. “Milk Gil, I guess.”
“I’d never do such a thing.”
“I see that now. If he buys you any kind of gift, even chocolates, you balk.”
Her hands curled on her lap. “I guess you were right to worry. I just showed up out of the blue. I could have been anybody, wanting anything.” When he didn’t say more, she asked, “You said at first? What about now?”
“I’m not worried about that anymore.”
“What are you worried about?”
“When you go away, Jenna and Gil will be hurt. Every day, they invest more in you.”
No response.
“I caught what you said out there about not taking the kitten. Because you didn’t know if you’d be staying here.”
“My life’s a mess, Simon. I don’t want to hurt anybody while I’m trying to straighten it out.”
“Are you? Straightening it out?”
“Yes, I think so. I’ve contacted a lawyer. He’s sending my husband legal separation papers.”
“Ah.” Simon knew only that she’d left her husband for what Gil considered good reasons. And now, the fact that she was asking the guy for a separation made Simon glad. It must be because it meant she was moving on with her life and wasn’t planning to go back to her old one. For Gil and Jenna, of course. “Will he sign them?”
“I hope so.” He could see the sadness in her eyes. This was hard for her.
“If I knew the situation,” he found himself saying, “I might be less wary.”
“I’m ashamed to talk about it.”
“For what it’s worth, I’m ashamed of some things about my past, too.”
Lily laughed, a bright sound that filled the office. He liked it. A lot. “Are you kidding? Gil, Jenna, the whole town think you walk on water.”
“I’ve gone under a time or two.” He shrugged. “But I don’t like to talk about those things, so I really shouldn’t ask you about your private life.”
She bit her lip. Her vulnerability struck a chord in him. She was determined and strong, too, a combination that was far too appealing to him as a man.
“I’ll tell you about it, Simon. But I’d appreciate it if you didn’t share this with Jenna. It’s not pretty.”
“All right, I won’t.” He watched her. “And I won’t judge, Lily. I promise.”
“Thanks.”
And then she told him her story.
THE MINUTE LILY WALKED into Simon’s house she felt a sense of well-being. Her modern three-story back in Westchester County, with its soaring pillars, high ceilings and acres of windows, was a showplace, but it had never, ever felt like a home, as this one did.
The floors and trim around the doorways were done in warm wood in the foyer and in the rooms on either side. Off to the right, a fireplace stood guard in a living room filled with comfortably upholstered earth-toned furniture. Splashes of whimsy were everywhere, in colorful pillows and throws and frames. So different from her expensive, hard-edged modern furniture, these sofas and chairs beckoned you to curl up on them. On the other side of the entrance was a dining room, again with light oak furniture and padded chairs. The aroma of beef coming from the kitchen completed the homey picture.
“Lily!” A rumble on the stairs followed the shouted greeting. “You’re here.”
Gil had let them in unannounced.
“Hi, sweetie.” They hugged, and Lily held on to the girl an extra second. Her hair was damp, as if she’d just washed it with rose-scented shampoo.
“Hey, what am I, Princess? Chopped liver?” Gil accepted a second hug warmly.
“Oh, Grandpa Gil. You know I love you.”
“Mmm. Me, too.” As Jenna took their raincoats and hung them up, he asked, “What’s that I smell?”
“Your favorite. Pot roast. Dad says you can have some, but not a lot. ‘Cuz of your heart.”
“Did you make dinner?”
“Mostly.” This from Simon, who walked down the hallway, wearing an apron that read, Kiss The Cook.
When Lily’s first thought was that that sounded like a great idea, she chided herself. But he looked so good wearing a red shirt beneath the apron and jeans that fit his butt like a glove. She admonished herself for the wayward thoughts and the perusal.
“Welcome to our home, Lily.”
He was looking at her differently, too. Ever since she had told him last week about Derek, he’d been nicer. Kinder. Sweet, really. She’d begun to like Simon McCarthy, and she thought she was making headway in getting him to like her, too. Though something niggled at her.
He was concerned about Gil and Jenna, if she left town abruptly, but there was something else that was bothering him, too. Usually, she got the feeling at the paper, when she wanted to try something new. He’d shut down and become cold or distant. Not now, though. He was smiling with genuine warmth.
“You have a lovely house.”
“Daddy did a lot of the work on it.”
“Really?”
“Uh-huh. My pride and joy.”
“Marco Martini and I helped,” Gil put in. “Then, we all worked on my kitchen. The old codger’s wanted to buy my house from under me for as long as I can remember, so he was trying to rack up some points.”
“And you’re not selling, of course.” Simon started down the hall. “Come back and sit.”
They followed him to the back.
The family room flowed into the kitchen and was demarcated by a rug that bumped up against the ceramic tile. A bank of windows faced the wooded backyard. Off the kitchen was an enclosed porch, its screens open, despite the rain outside. “This is gorgeous.”
“Thanks. We like it.” He took the wine they’d brought with them. “Want a glass?” he asked Gil.
“If Lily doesn’t mind.”
“I made you tea, Lily,” Jenna said. “The kind you brew with a ball.”
“Go ahead, have the wine. I’ll help.”
Gil said, “I’m going to beat Jenna at cards.”
Lily followed Simon into the kitchen while Gil and Jenna went into the family room.
“Can I have some wine, Dad?” Jenna called out from there.
“I’ll pour you a sip or two.”
Curious about the indulgence, Lily cocked her head as Simon got her a mug and took wineglasses out of the cupboard.
“It takes the mystery out of drinking,” he explained quietly. “Hopefully, as a result, she won’t feel the need to experiment outside of the house.”
Lily’s hand went to her midsection, which was just rounding a bit as her fifth month got into full swing. “I wonder if I’ll ever know what to do with these babies.”
He gave her the mug. “You will. A lot of it’s instinct, but I read child-rearing books, too.” He poured wine for the rest of them.
As Lily got her tea, she said, “Thanks for having us for dinner. Too bad your sister couldn’t make it.”
“She’s a busy lawyer. There’s only Sara and Mac Madison in the firm, and they have clients from all the neighboring towns.”
Lily knew Mac. On Gil’s advice, she’d met with him a few weeks after she’d arrived. He’d filed for her legal separation.
“I’d like to meet Sara. In any case, I appreciate your having us for dinner.”
A silence. Then, “We have Gil over all the time.”
Oh, no. She’d never thought of this. “You haven’t had Gil to dinner since I’ve been here. It’s been more than five weeks.”
“He’s been busy with you.”
“I’m sorry I interfered. Did you mind?”
“The truth?”
That’s what he’d said at the paper that day last week. She nodded.
“Yeah, I minded some. But Gil needed time with you.”
“It won’t happen again, Simon. I won’t come between you and Gil.”
His face shadowed, and there it was—that feeling Lily got, that her words, or sometimes her actions, meant more to him than what she’d intended.
They joined Gil and Jenna in the living room. “What are you playing?” Lily asked.
Simon shook his head. “Poker.”
“Yeah, Grandpa Gil taught me how.”
Gil arched his brows at Lily. He looked younger when he teased. “You know how to play?”
“I’m afraid not.” Bridge had been big in her circles. She’d never liked it, but Derek had insisted she join a club.
“Maybe we can teach you some seven-card stud after dinner.”
“You’re on, for whatever that is.”
When Lily went to take a seat, she noticed something hanging on the wall opposite the couch. “Oh, my.”
Jenna looked over. “It’s all right, isn’t it?”
“Why, yes, of course.” She stared at the matted and framed picture she’d drawn of Jenna. “At least I got to finish it.”
“You’re very talented, Lily,” Gil said.
“Thank you. My mother started me young.”
A silence invaded the room like an unwanted guest. She had yet to tell Gil the details of what had happened to Cameron and whenever something like this came up, it was awkward.
“She continued to draw? She was really good in high school.”
“Yes, I know. I found some of her work in the boxes you left out.”
Gil’s eyes were sad. Lily said no more about Cameron and Simon tried to cover for the awkwardness. “Did I tell you the advertising income for the paper has gone up by a third this quarter, Gil? I’ll show you the figures later.”
The unhappiness faded from her grandfather’s face. “That’s terrific. I’m guessing that some folks have taken out classifieds just to make contact with our new helper here. I even saw Mike O’Malley being nice to her the other day.”
Lily chuckled. She thought the same thing about the ads and people’s attitudes. It was wonderful for her battered ego.
“Eddie McPherson stops in all the time,” Jenna said, mentioning a local firefighter. “I think he likes her.”
Lily shifted uncomfortably. Gil looked away and so did Simon.
“What did I say?” Jenna asked.
“Lily’s married, honey.”
“Yeah, but she left her husband. She’s living here, now.”
Reaching out, Lily touched Jenna’s arm. “I did more than that, sweetie. I’ve sent him papers asking for a legal separation.”
“So, good.” Jenna went back to her cards. “But watch out for Eddie. They call him Fast Eddie.”
“Jenna!”
“I’m not a baby, Grandpa.”
Simon chuckled. “You get no argument from me about Eddie. I went to high school with him. That was his nickname then, too.”
“Speaking of names, do you have them picked out for the babies, Lily?” Gil asked.
“No, not yet.”
“What are you considering?”
“I’d like to keep that to myself for now. As soon as I decide, I’ll let you know.”
A buzzer went off in the kitchen. Simon rose. “Dinner’s ready. Jenna, you can help me. Gil and Lily, why don’t you go into the dining room.”
When they were all seated and the food was in front of them, Simon said grace. And Lily was mesmerized by the soothing rhythm of his voice, raised in prayer. She was also struck by the notion that this must be what a real family dinner was like.
She’d never experienced one before in her life.
SIMON LOOKED OVER at Gil from his desk as he read a spreadsheet, a copy of the one Gil held in his hand. Gil said, “This is good, don’t you think?”
“Yes. Though I wish we could widen the market in Gainesville.”
“Let’s talk about how to do that.”
Simon glanced at the door, thinking of Lily and how pretty she looked in the peach linen slacks and long-sleeved shirt she was wearing tonight. Her hair was soft and shiny, too, and curled a bit from the rain. “They’ll be okay?”
“We were in the way. Jenna was dying to get Lily up to her room. I heard some rumblings about makeup.”
“She’s a little young for war paint.” And Lily certainly didn’t need any.
“I hate to break it to you, Simon, but girls start with all that at about eleven.”
“God forbid.”
Leaning back in his chair, Simon watched the man he’d come to think of as a second father. Patrick McCarthy could never be replaced, but there was a unique spot in his heart for Gil. To ease this particular burden, he asked, “Lily hasn’t said anything about what happened to Cameron?”
“Just the bare bones. I asked her to elaborate a few weeks ago, and gave her another opportunity just now, but she didn’t take it. I’m guessing it was bad. I almost don’t want to know how Cameron lived. Or how Lily grew up.”
“Sometimes knowing isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.” Simon was sure of that.
Gil cocked his head. “Can I ask you something?”
“Yeah, sure.”
“You didn’t like her at first. Why?”
“Because I was worried she was using you. I was afraid she was out to get whatever she could from you.”
“That’s about the last thing that’s happening.”
“I see that now. She seems to want to stand on her own two feet.”
“She told you about Wakefield, didn’t she?”
“Uh-huh. I felt bad for her. I hope he agrees to the separation.”
“Mac is worried about his family. They’re powerful people in New York. What changed your mind about her, Simon?”
“Seeing her interact with people on a daily basis. She’s formed a bond with Jenna that can’t be faked. Mr. Martini and Mrs. Billings and Miss Jameson come in just to see her.” He smiled fondly at Gil. “And there’s a spring in your step that I haven’t seen in a long time.”
“I’m happy, Simon.”
“Good to see.” He waited a beat. “Jenna was right. Eddie sniffs around her.” Not that he blamed the guy.
“With good reason, don’t you think?”
Simon smiled. “I’m male and healthy. Who wouldn’t think that? She’s very pretty.”
“And she has an inner beauty.”
“Does she?” He was reserving judgment on that.
“I want you to be friends.” Gil waited a minute. “You know she’ll never replace you or Jenna in my heart, Simon.”
“Hell, I hope I’m not thinking that way.”
“Probably not. I just wanted to say it out loud.”
He nodded. “Let’s get back to how we can increase circulation.”
“All right. Just let me say thanks for accepting Lily as much as you have. It means a lot to me.”
“I know.”
JOHANNA WAKEFIELD stared at the legal document Derek had received earlier this week. As usual, her white hair was exquisitely styled, and her taupe pantsuit showed off her slender form. At sixty-three, she was still an attractive woman. “Well, she didn’t waste a lot of time.”
“No. She must really want to get away from me. With good reason.”
His mother’s blue eyes turned cold. “It’s Liliana’s style. She’s not to be counted on.”
“Father likes her.”
“He has a soft side where people are concerned. It doesn’t always serve him well.”
“I gave her cause, Mother.”
“A woman should not leave her husband in the dark of night. She’s never been good for you. Why, we never even found out about her background. God knows where she came from.”
“I wonder if she went back there.”
“Where?”
“Where she came from. Wherever that—” he waved his drink at the papers “—came from.”
“A law firm from upstate.”
Derek slugged back his scotch and stretched out his legs. “Should I sign them?” The thought turned his stomach. He didn’t want Liliana to leave him, but he was remembering things he’d done to her, and in his sober moments—few though they were—he knew she was better off away from him and his addictions. Some of which she didn’t even know about.
His mother studied her drink and said casually, “We could find her through the lawyer.”
“I guess.” But what good would it do? He’d only hurt her again.
“Do you want her back, Derek?”
“No. For her sake.”
“Then I have a better idea.” She stood, went to the phone and punched in a number. “Hello, Susan, this is Johanna Wakefield. My son and I would like to see Marcus today.”
“So soon?” Derek asked as she waited.
“That’s what retainers are for, darling.” Into the mouthpiece she said, “Yes, three would be fine. What? Oh, we’re going to need divorce papers drawn up.”
Derek’s eyes widened and a sharp pain sliced through him. “Divorce papers?”
“It’s for the best, Derek. We Wakefields never do anything halfway.”
“No,” he said getting up to fix himself another drink. “I guess we don’t.”
Chapter Four
“HI, LILY. NEED SOMETHING?” Evan Hill smiled up at her from his desk in the newsroom. He was a little guy with a wiry build and warm brown eyes. There were five desks in the big open space, and he was seated at one of them. Simon had his own office in the corner.
Lily nodded toward it. “I’m looking for the chief.”
“He just called and said he was on his way. Go wait inside. There’s a couch. Sit, put your feet up.”
“Good Lord. You, too?”
“If you don’t, I’ll tell the Senior Brigade.”
“We wouldn’t want that.”
In the six weeks she’d been in Fairview, the people in town had come to care about Lily, especially the older ones she’d helped with ads. She found them fascinating and loved listening to their stories. They must have sensed she was sincere because, in turn, they watched over her like hawks. Having never been nurtured before, she loved being cared for.
She wandered into Simon’s office and sat on the couch. From there—with her feet up—she studied his personal space. She’d been in here before, of course, but never alone. Several pictures of Jenna, at different ages, hung on one wall. There was another of his favorite old newspapers that had been matted and framed. What was that? She rose and crossed to a small case containing trophies. For basketball. From high school. And, oh, how cute, from this year. He played in a men’s league. Each day she discovered more depths to this man. And each day she found herself gravitating toward him more.
After she’d finished exploring, Lily caught sight of a typed sheet on his desk. Hmm. She’d just take a peek. His editorials were wonderful—usually on world events that small towns sometimes forgot about. He’d done one on the war in Iraq, and one on peace in the Middle East, and he’d even tackled the volatile topic of gay rights, which— because he was a proponent—had caused a stir down at the diner and over at O’Malleys’ pub. She wondered what the subject of this one was and picked it up. When he walked in, she’d just finished reading.
“Hi, Lily. What are you doing here?”
She held up the paper. “I’m sorry, I peeked. Well, no,” she sniffled, “I’m not sorry. Simon, this is so sad. And so poignantly written.”
He leaned against the doorjamb. She noticed again how broad his shoulders were as they stretched the cotton of his shirt. The opening at the collar revealed dark chest hair and a patch of tanned skin. “It’s a shame, isn’t it, what goes on in those refugee camps? I wish I could do more than write about it.”
“You do a lot by making people aware of the atrocious conditions. After the Iraq editorial, there was a big collection of socks and books in town. I heard from Loretta that your work spurred other action. You are helping.”
“I guess.”
She indicated the one she’d just read. “This woman, Anna. She was in a camp for sixteen years?”
He nodded his head. “Yep. Got married there, had two kids.” Quietly, he added, “God knows what she endured.”
Lily glanced away. He came around the desk and squatted in front of her. He tipped her chin and shook his head. “Are you crying, Lily?”
“Ignore it. I cry at everything these days.”
“So did Marian.” He took out his handkerchief and Lily reached for it. But instead of giving it to her, he wiped her face. She swallowed hard at the intimacy of the gesture. Up this close, she could see the green flecks in his eyes, how long lashed they were, several shades darker than his hair. She got a whiff of his cologne. Very male, very sexy.
When he finished, he stared at her for a long time. “You’re something else, Lily Wakefield.”
She was startled to realize how disappointed she was when he drew back. Self-consciously, she smoothed down her tan capris and long white blouse.
“Did—” he cleared his throat “—did you come back here for a reason, or just to nose around in my stuff?”
“I wanted to talk to you. I need advice and I thought you could give me some, since you’re close to Gil.”
He stiffened. He was so protective of her grandfather, Lily knew instantly she was doing the right thing. Though she was still wary of men, in general, she was beginning to see Simon as an ally.
“Can we sit on the couch? And close the door?”
When they were settled, Lily faced him solemnly. “Simon, last week, when Gil brought up my mother’s art, I knew he was waiting for me to tell him what happened to her. He’s been waiting.”
“He mentioned it while you were turning Jenna into America’s Top Model.”
“And planning a world tour of all our favorite places, don’t forget.”
“Spare my checkbook, please.” He sobered. “About Cameron?”
“If I tell Gil what happened to her, I worry that he’ll be devastated. And I wonder if he really has to know.”
His face shadowed. “As I told him, sometimes knowing the truth isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”
“Simon?” Intuitively, she knew he wasn’t just talking about Gil. And suddenly, she wanted to know more about this man, about those secrets he said he’d been keeping. The longing was so strong, it surprised her.
“Never mind about me. Finish what you were going to say.”
“All right. I thought I could tell you what happened, and you could help me decide if I should tell Gil. You’re closer to him than anyone, and you’d know what was the right thing to do.”
“Thanks for trusting me.” He leaned back against the couch and crossed one foot over the other knee. “Go ahead.”
“You know the basics. My mother never went to the home for unwed mothers. Instead, she took a bus to New York, and stayed at the YWCA. She found a job right away as a waitress.”
“That must have been hard. Sixteen. Pregnant, waitressing.”
Lily’s hand went to her just-beginning-to-bulge abdomen. “I can’t imagine. Anyway, welfare paid for my delivery and our hospital stay, and then she got a second job in a day care so I could stay there while she earned money. It was tough, but she loved me and I knew it.”
“She must have been a very strong woman.” He smiled. “You take after her in that respect….”
His compliment warmed her, and for a minute distracted her.
“What happened?”
“We did okay for a while. But the hard life wore on her. By the time I was in grade school, she wanted more.” Lily shook her head. “She found a way to get it.”
His eyes narrowed. “Not a good way.”
“No. First she waitressed at this club. This strip club. And then she stripped. She called it dancing, but I knew what she was doing. I was mortified, but still she was a good mother.”
“You told Gil she died in a bus accident.”
“Another lie.”
“Oh, Lily.”
“She went home with one of the patrons from the club. And never came back. They found her body on the street, near a garbage dump.”
Tears flowed now. She tried to dash them away, but she was transported back to all the horror of her mother’s death and the terror of being left alone.
Simon slid closer and took her hand. She latched on to it for support, but she couldn’t look at him, so he pulled her close and held her.
“I’m sorry. I thought I’d dealt with this.” She buried her face in his chest, as if it were the most natural thing to do. “You’re the first person I’ve ever told this to.”
“Derek doesn’t know?” There was an odd note in his voice. It got that way every time he talked about her husband.
“Are you kidding? No. And he wouldn’t want me to tell him. That’s one reason why he won’t find me here. He doesn’t know about my connection to you all.” Oh. “I mean to Gil.”
“It must have been hard for you, Lily, living like that.”
“It was, but, Simon, my poor mother…She was a good person. I think life just gave her too many knocks.”
“What happened to you when she died?”
“I was sixteen, by then, and she’d left some money. She stashed it away, truly, in a mattress. With working two jobs, it was enough for me to live on.”
“Didn’t social services have something to say about that?”
“It’s easy to get lost in New York City.”
“I can’t believe you were left alone.” He was still holding her, and his hand smoothed down her hair. It felt comforting—and something else, too. Closing her eyes, she sank farther into him. “You were Jenna’s age.”
“I love Jenna’s innocence. Because I never was like her. I craved it, though, and respectability.”
“I can see why.” He kissed the top of her head. Settled his hand at her neck.
All she wanted was to stay in Simon’s arms. She’d never felt protected by Derek. Instead, she was always taking care of him. This was such a welcome change, maybe even a needed one during her pregnancy, which had made her feel utterly vulnerable.
But it couldn’t last and it wasn’t reality. After a few more precious moments in his arms, she drew away, sat up and wiped her eyes. “Damn. I’m a regular fountain around you.”
“This is something to cry about.”
“That’s why I’m torn about what to do with Gil.”
“It’s a hard call.”
“Simon, this would hurt him so much. And what purpose would it serve, to tell him? He already feels so much guilt.”
“You really care about him, don’t you?”
“Of course I do!”
“I think maybe your instincts are right. As you said, what good would it serve for him to find out about Cameron?”
She released a heavy breath. “Okay, then. I feel better, knowing you agree.”
Reaching out, he took her hand again. His was big and masculine and easily encompassed hers. “Let me say something. You’re a wonderful person. You’ve survived so much. And you still worry about others.”
“I ran away from Derek, Simon.”
“Which was the right thing to do. You have character and strength. Remember that.”
Tears welled in her eyes again.
“Uh-oh. We’d better stop this.”
She looked down at her hand in his. So did he. He was right—they had to stop. Because the last thing Lily needed in her life right now was a relationship with this man. With any man. Although, in her heart, she didn’t want to curtail her feelings for Simon.
This time, however, she’d listen to her head.
STILL REELING from his afternoon conversation with Lily, Simon met his sister at the Fairview Diner for dinner. The cool air inside felt good after his walk over in the warm May weather.
“Hey, Simon,” Artie Conklin, the owner, said, when he came in.
“Hi, Artie. How’s that son of yours doing? He just got promoted, didn’t he?”
“Yep, to head of the ambulance crew. Still goes on calls, though.”
“Good for him.”
“How’s Lily?”
“She’s good.” More than good. Wonderful. And beautiful. Very, very beautiful.
“Glad to hear.” Artie nodded across the room. “Your sister’s in the back booth.”
“Thanks.” He found Sara sipping a glass of wine and kissed her cheek before he said, “Hi, sis.”
“Hi, Simon. That happen often?”
“What?”
“People asking you about Lily Wakefield. Right after you ask about their families?”
“Everybody asks me about her and Gil. They know her through the paper.”
“I heard she was working there.”
He motioned to their waitress for another glass of wine. “How are you, Sara?”
“Busy as hell.” She nodded over to Mac Madison, who was at another table. “Him, too. He’s with a client even now.”
“Sorry you missed dinner last week. Jenna felt bad.”
“Yeah. Me, too.”
“You didn’t really have to work, did you?”
“Of course I did.”
Leaning over, he took her hand. “Let’s get this out of the way so we can enjoy our meal. You didn’t want to see Lily, did you?”
She shook her head. The siblings resembled each other, except her short hair was darker and her eyes greener than his. Now, there was a wariness in them. “No, I didn’t.”
“She’s a good person, Sara. She really does have Gil’s best interest at heart.”
“I…found out some things about her.”
“On the background check I asked you to do, right?”
No answer.
“You investigated her more than that? Oh, Sara, all I wanted to know was if she was who she said she was, and from where she said she lived.”
“Simon, we knew nothing about her. I wanted more on her. I found articles and pictures on the Net, society kinds of things. She’s a real trophy wife.”
He didn’t respond.
Sara watched him. “Did you hear me? She’s married, Simon.”
“I know she’s married.”
“The Wakefields are influential people. I’m familiar with their law firm. Very high-powered. Rumored to be ruthless.”
“So?”
“Derek Wakefield is the father of her kids. If he wants them, he’s got a good chance of getting them.”
“She’s afraid of that.” He sat back and sipped his wine. “Look, there were good reasons she left.”
“What?”
“I can’t tell you. They’re private.”
“But she told you.”
He nodded.
“You’re getting attached to her.”
Thinking about holding her today, feeling her curves against him, loving the scent of her, he lied to his sister. “No, I like her. But I’m okay with it. Mostly, I was worried about Gil.”
“I’m worried about you. And Jenna.”
“Jenna is getting attached. She’s excited about the babies.”
Sara fired questions at him as if he were on the stand. “What happens to all of you when Lily leaves town?”
“Who says she’s leaving?”
“Oh, Simon, she’s got millions to go back to. Why would she stay here?”
For me. And Jenna and Gil. “She says she’s not going back.”
“She scraped her way through college. Even when she spent the required year abroad as an art major, she had to work. People who’ve been that poor never want to go back to a life without money.”
“She says she’s staying.”
“Then, that brings up another problem. She’ll have rights to the paper.”
His initial fear, which he’d buried because he’d begun to like Lily, surfaced with Sara’s warning. “I know.”
“The paper that you’ve been planning to buy. Dreaming, all your life, to own.”
He repeated, “I know. But Sara, I can’t do anything about one of Gil’s relatives turning up.”
“You could make her less welcome. If everybody stopped being so nice to her, maybe she’d go back to where she came from and forget about the Sentinel.”
“I tried distancing her and it didn’t work.” And now, he didn’t want her to leave.
“I’m just worried about my baby brother and my only niece.” Sara sighed heavily. “I wish Dad was still alive. You always listened to him. He’d talk some sense into you.”
He pictured his father’s laughing brown eyes and kind smile. Patrick McCarthy would have seen Lily’s true nature right away. God, he missed the man. “Maybe if you got to know Lily…”
“No. Somebody in this town has to stay objective about her.”
Good luck. “All right. Can we change the subject now? We haven’t talked in a while.”
“Since Lily came to town.”
“Hush. Tell me about your love life.”
She snorted. “My love life is about as active as yours.” When he didn’t respond, she added, “Simon, you’ve got to start dating again. So you had a few fiascos early on. Try again. You know Ellen Priestly has been interested in you for a long time.”
“I’ll think about it.” But instead of considering the elementary school teacher who gave off signals every time he saw her, Simon’s mind settled on Lily and how she felt in his arms, how his body had responded to her. However, he kept his face blank. That was the last thing Sara needed to hear now.
THE NEXT DAY, Lily sat at a table in the drugstore visiting with Loretta Jameson. The only pharmacy in town had a soda fountain on one side, and she and the schoolteacher were having late-afternoon tea together.
“How long were you on the stage, Loretta?”
“Ten years. I gave it up because the lifestyle was too intense. I came here—I already had a teaching degree— when I decided to find a nice small town to settle in.”
Lily shook her head at the story. “I love Broadway. What roles did you play?”
As she listened, she thought again of her idea for a column in the Sentinel. Which was one reason why she was so glad to see Simon stride into the drugstore and approach the prescription counter. He smiled at the pharmacist, Mr. Atherton, and made small talk. Lily took surreptitious glances at him. He was wearing shorts today, as she was, in deference to the warm weather. His legs were muscular, and the matching navy T-shirt outlined a chest that she already knew was sinewy. And solid. And strong.
Конец ознакомительного фрагмента.
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Kathryn Shay
Тип: электронная книга
Жанр: Современные любовные романы
Язык: на английском языке
Издательство: HarperCollins
Дата публикации: 16.04.2024
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О книге: Be My Babies, электронная книга автора Kathryn Shay на английском языке, в жанре современные любовные романы