Cort Mason - Dr Delectable
Cort Mason - Dr Delectable
CAROL MARINELLI
It’s their last summer of being single! Off duty, these three nurses, and one midwife, are young, free and fabulous – for the moment…Ruby’s Diary:However much I might not be loving my rotation in A&E, there is one perk that makes my job more fun… Flirting with Senior Registrar Cort Mason is definitely a distraction, but a moonlit walk on the beach can’t be a good idea…and as for kissing him? Well, that’s deliciously dangerous!
Cort Mason–
Dr Delectable
Carol Marinelli
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Table of Contents
Cover (#uf92a7f60-d1d2-5908-9d8b-a095370d6d86)
Title Page (#uf8d08001-6d6f-5d79-81fd-a4bb48b7ae88)
Praise (#uea782b96-cdcc-5b7f-b16c-c374829dd3aa)
Prologue (#u9636c148-930a-5468-b73b-33c48471f700)
Chapter One (#u3543e16f-e099-520b-a9ba-f71bd845303f)
Chapter Two (#ubf60d764-df84-53e4-bc8b-4bd0998ff974)
Chapter Three (#ud4e5f2ca-dd19-5457-8b36-00c753eee45f)
Chapter Four (#u68c9f53f-0d2b-5383-b5ca-4a039eae8969)
Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fifteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Sixteen (#litres_trial_promo)
About the Author (#litres_trial_promo)
Epilogue (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
Praise for Carol Marinelli:
‘A heartwarming story about taking a chance and not
letting the past destroy the future. It is strengthened by
two engaging lead characters and a satisfying ending.’
—RT Book Reviews on THE LAST KOLOVSKY PLAYBOY
‘Carol Marinelli writes with sensitivity,
compassion and understanding and
RESCUING PREGNANT CINDERELLA
is not just a powerful romance, but an uplifting
and inspirational tale about starting over,
new beginnings and moving on.’
—Cataromance on ST PIRAN’S: RESCUING PREGNANT CINDERELLA
PROLOGUE
‘You need to get back out there, Cort.’
‘Leave it, Elise.’
‘I won’t leave it,’ his sister said.
‘Beth’s only been dead for a month—do you really think it appropriate that I start getting “back out there”?’
And on anyone else his argument would have worked, but his sister was too matter-of-fact, and had been there through it all, and would not be swayed.
‘You’ve been grieving for her for years,’ Elise said. ‘You mourned Beth long, long, long before she died.’
‘So now I should suddenly start partying?’
‘You’ve never partied in your life.’ Elise grinned at her rather serious older brother. ‘So, no, I don’t expect you to start at thirty-two.’ Elise had come here not just to see how her brother was doing since Beth’s death but with intention too, and she was determined to see this conversation through. ‘But there is more to life than work. You need to start going out a bit, do something you haven’t done before, try new things …’
Cort knew she was right—had it been Elise in his position he’d have said exactly the same, except he just didn’t know how to start. Cort had moved back to Sydney three years ago and had chosen not to tell his colleagues about his other life in Melbourne. He had moved back to Sydney to get away from the endless questions from colleagues, and pointless platitudes that did nothing to help.
The last years had been spent working in Sydney and then travelling back to Melbourne on his days off to sit in a nursing home and watch a woman who had once been so educated, so dignified, dribble her food and strip naked at whim. He had watched endless seizures erode what had been left of her brain and, yes, Elise was right—bit by bit, over these past years he had mourned.
‘Say yes.’ Elise drained her glass and bade her brother goodnight.
‘Say yes to what?’ Cort asked.
‘Just say yes next time someone suggests something.’
‘Sure,’ Cort said with absolutely no intention of doing so.
‘For Beth,’ Elise said as she headed to his apartment door. ‘She’d hate both your lives to have been cut short that night.’
She was right.
Cort knew that. He crossed his apartment and could hear the ocean from the open French doors, but he closed them to shut out the roar and the noise, and the room fell silent. Not just from the sound of the ocean but from the roar and the noise in his head. Beth was gone.
CHAPTER ONE
‘ARE you free to give me a hand in the suture room?’ Cort Mason, the senior emergency registrar, asked, and Ruby swung around. ‘It might take a while, though.’
Ruby jumped down from the footstool she was perched on while restocking the cupboard and turned to the voice that was aimed in her direction. She decided that she’d be delighted to give him a hand.
It had nothing to do with the fact he was gorgeous.
Really, it had completely nothing to do with it.
She just wanted an empty Resus before it filled again, which it inevitably would. Sheila, the NUM, had told her to stay in there today, that this was her area, but with a senior registrar asking for her to assist with a patient, well, surely she had no choice in the matter?
None.
‘I’d be happy to.’ Ruby beamed, except her smile wasn’t returned. In fact, he wasn’t even waiting for her response. Already Cort had walked off and was heading into the suture room, rightly perhaps assuming that a student nurse wasn’t likely to say no to his request for assistance.
‘Mr Mason has asked if I can give him a hand.’ Ruby let Connor, the RN in charge of Resus, know where she was going. ‘Is that okay?’
‘Sure,’ Connor said. ‘It’s not as if we’re doing anything.’ He frowned at her. ‘Ruby, why have you got a crepe bandage in your hair?’
‘Sheila!’ Ruby rolled her eyes, because the NUM was surely out to get her. Not only had she insisted that Ruby be allocated the most grisly part of Emergency, she also had a thing about Ruby’s long auburn hair, which was so thick it often defied the hair ties and clips she attempted to hold it back with. This afternoon Sheila had handed her a bandage and told her to sort it once and for all.
‘She’s really got it in for you.’
‘I remind her of her daughter apparently—I’ve no idea why. Anyway, Mr Mason will be wondering where I’ve got to. He said it might take a while.’
‘You might as well go to coffee afterwards, then,’ Connor said. ‘And we’re on first-name terms here—it’s Cort.’
She’d stick with ‘Mr Mason’—her dad was Chief of Surgery at another hospital and had drilled it into her over the years just how important titles were so Ruby had decided it was better to play safe than offend anyone.
She had a quick look around for Sheila and seeing she was busy up the other end darted off, more relieved than Connor could know. Sheila had been very specific in her allocation, ensuring that Ruby was working in Resus, but apart from a febrile convulsion and couple of patients who had been brought over briefly while awaiting blood results it had been delightfully quiet.
‘Put some gloves on,’ Cort said as she entered the suture room. ‘I just need someone to hold Ted’s arm while I suture it. He keeps forgetting to stay still, don’t you, Ted?’
The elderly man grunted and Ruby could smell the brandy fumes that filled the small room.
‘How are you, Ted?’ Ruby asked, pulling on some gloves and looking at the wound, happy, though not for the patient, to see it was a huge cut that would hopefully take ages, and then it would be time for her coffee break and with her assessment and everything, well, she might just not have to go back out there.
She loathed Accident and Emergency, not that anyone could tell. She was always light, breezy and happy and had chosen not to tell even her closest friends just how hard this final unit of her training had been, knowing there was nothing they could do to fix it and choosing just to soldier on.
She had never expected to like it, but the loathing was so acute Ruby was seriously wondering if she would even make it through these last weeks of her training. There was no tangible reason for hating it, nothing Ruby could point to as the reason she hated it so, but walking to her shift, every ambulance that passed, every glimpse of Eastern Beaches Hospital made her want to turn tail and run for home.
Looking back, there had been a few wobbles that might have given warning that Emergency might be unsettling for her—a young man suddenly collapsing after a routine appendectomy and the crash team being called while she was on the surgical ward had stunned Ruby and made her question her decision to study nursing—but she had, for the most part, liked her training. Only liked, though—her real aim was to work as a mental health nurse, but general training was a prerequisite if she wanted to get anywhere in her future career.
‘Okay?’ Cort said. ‘We might be here a while, so I’d make yourself comfortable.’
He took off his jacket and tied on a plastic gown, then washed his hands, dragged a stool over with his foot and settled in for the long haul.
‘He’s asleep,’ Ruby said, stating the obvious, because Ted was snoring loudly now, and even Ruby could see that she might be better utilised elsewhere.
‘I don’t want to wrestle with him if he wakes up.’ He gave a tight smile. ‘Sorry if it’s boring.’
‘Oh, I’m not bored. I’m delighted to be here,’ Ruby said, hearing a noise from outside, a relative arguing with a security guard close to the suture-room door. She gave Cort a wide smile, a smile so bright that he hesitated for a moment before returning it with a slightly bemused one, then he turned his attention back to his patient. He cleaned the wound and injected anaesthetic as Ruby watched and only then did he offer a response, not looking at her, just concentrating on the wound as he spoke.
‘It’s not often you hear that in this place.’
‘What?’ Ruby asked, her mind elsewhere.
‘People saying that they’re delighted to be here.’
‘I’m a happy apple,’ Ruby said, and watched as his hands stopped, the first knot of the stitch neatly tied. He seemed to be waiting for her to do something.
‘Are you going to cut?’
‘Oh!’ She picked up the scissors with her free hand. ‘I feel like a real nurse. Where do I cut?’ She held the scissors over the thread.
‘A bit shorter.’
There was something lovely and soothing about sitting here and actually doing something, rather than just holding the patient’s hand. And contrary to what she’d heard, Cort Mason was far from grumpy. One on one with him, he was really rather nice.
She’d heard his name mentioned a lot of times. He’d been on annual leave for the first four weeks of her time here and had only been back a week, but he was nothing like the man she’d imagined, the staid man her colleagues had led her to believe he was.
Nothing.
From the way she’d heard people speaking about him Ruby had expected a dour serious man in his fifties.
Instead he’d be in his thirties, with brown hair and hazel eyes, a long straight nose and, not so much dour, or sharp, just … She couldn’t really sum him up in word, and she tried for a moment Outside the suture room, she’d never been privy to small talk with him, had never really seen him smile. He was formal with the patients, distant with the staff, and any hint of ineptness or bureaucracy seemed to irritate him.
Crabby was the best she could come up with.
Except he wasn’t being crabby now.
Ruby looked at his white thick cotton shirt and lilac tie, which was an odd sort of match for his brown suit, yet it went really well and she wondered, just for a second, how it was really possible to find someone who wore a brown suit attractive—except he was.
Up close he really, really was.
There was a lovely fresh scent to him and she thought it came from his hair, which was very close to her face as he bent over to work. She looked at it, and it was lovely and glossy and very straight and neat but there was a jagged edge to the cut that she liked too.
‘Cut,’ Cort reminded her when her eyes wandered, and she snipped the neat stitch he’d tied. ‘I need some more 4/0.’
‘You’re really making me earn my keep!’ Ruby jumped off the stool and tried to locate what he wanted amongst box upon box of different sutures.
‘Left,’ Cort said, to her hand that hovered. ‘Up one,’ he said.
‘Got it.’ She opened the material and tipped it on his tray then washed her hands and again pulled on some gloves before rejoining him. Cort was having another good look at the wound so there was nothing much for her to do and her eyes roamed the room again, landing on his jacket hanging on the door.
‘It’s not really brown,’ she said out loud, and then she blushed, because she did this far too often. Ruby had zero attention span and her mind was constantly chatting and occasionally words just slipped out.
He glanced up and saw her cheeks were bright pink.
‘Your jacket,’ Ruby croaked. ‘It’s not really brown.’
He said nothing, just carried on checking the wound, but his lips twitched for a moment, because he’d had a similar discussion with the shop assistant.
Sick to the back teeth of dour greys and navy suits, he’d bought a couple of new ones, and some shirts and ties. He wasn’t a great shopper, hated it, in fact, and had decided to put his faith in the judgement of the eager shop assistant. But when she’d held up the suit he’d baulked and said there was no way he was wearing brown.
Brown was the sort of thing his father wore, Cort had said to her.
‘It’s not brown,’ the shop assistant had said. ‘It’s taupe.’
‘It’s taupe.’ After a few minutes’ silence, he glanced up to the rather surprised eyes of Ruby. ‘Apparently.’
‘Well, it’s very nice.’
And he didn’t quite smile, but there was just a hint as he got back to his stitches and he saw her hands were just a little bit shaky when she snipped, though he was sure they had been steady before.
He didn’t look up, but he could see her in his mind’s eye for a moment. She was quite a stunning little thing—tiny, with very dark brown eyes and a thick curtain of hair that he’d heard Sheila pull her up about a few times. It was held back today with a ridiculous bandage, but defiantly kept escaping. It was lovely hair, red but not …
‘It’s not really ginger …’ Cort said, and still didn’t look up.
‘Absolutely not,’ was Ruby’s response.
‘Auburn?’
‘Close,’ came her voice. ‘But I prefer titian.’
And he gave a very brief nod and then worked on quietly. It was actually a lovely silence, just nice to sit and watch him work, especially as she could hear things starting to pick up outside. She could hear Connor calling out for assistance and feet running and though it was par for the course here, she screwed her eyes closed for just a second, but he must have looked up and noticed.
‘You okay?’
‘I’m fine.’
‘You don’t need to cut if it’s making you feel sick—just hold his hand.’
‘Really, I’m fine,’ Ruby said, because a nasty cut and tendons and muscle and all of that didn’t bother her a jot.
It was out there that did.
It wasn’t a fear of seeing people sick, Ruby thought as she snipped Cort’s stitches, and it wasn’t a fear of death because she’d actually enjoyed some agency shifts on the palliative care ward.
It was this, Ruby thought as a buzzer sounded and Cort looked up.
This moment, which arrived at any given time, the intense drama that was constantly played out here, and it actually made her feel physically ill.
‘Do you need me?’ She heard Cort shout in the direction of Resus, ready to drop everything at a moment’s notice, and Ruby sat, staring at the hand she was holding, sweat beading on her forehead. She would hold this hand all night if only it meant that she didn’t have to go out there.
‘Jamelia’s here,’ came Sheila’s voice, and because apparently Cort liked to be kept up to date with everything, her voice came closer to the open suture-room door.
‘We’ve got a head and facial injuries. He arrested at the approach to the hospital and they’re having trouble intubating.’
‘I’ll come.’
‘There’s no need,’ Sheila called. ‘Jamelia’s got it and the anaesthetist is on his way.’ But he wasn’t listening. Already he’d peeled off his gloves and was pulling off his plastic apron. ‘Wait here,’ he called over his shoulder. Given he was halfway through stitching, and the patient couldn’t be left, Ruby had no choice but to sit and wait, which she did for a full ten or fifteen minutes before Cort returned, and if she’d seen him crabby this past week, he was really angry now.
She could feel it as he tied on a new gown and washed his hands.
‘What the hell was that?’ Sheila was less than impressed as she swung into the room. ‘I told you we had it under control.’
‘No. You told me they were having trouble intubating. Jamelia gets nervous …’
‘Well, she’s never going to get any confidence if you keep coming in and taking over.’
‘So, what?’ Cort said. ‘Do we just let her stumble through and kill off a few more brain cells?’
‘Give her a go, would you?’ Sheila responded.
‘No,’ Cort said, and didn’t qualify further, even as Sheila waited, but when Cort remained silent, Sheila turned her frustration back to its regular recipient.
‘What are you doing here, Ruby? I told you! I specifically told you not to leave Resus.’
‘Mr Mason asked me to come and hold an arm.’ Ruby gulped.
‘Someone else could have done that. Now you’ve missed watching an emergency tracheotomy …’
‘Oh.’ Ruby wondered how she could even attempt to sound disappointed at having missed out on seeing that! ‘That’s a shame.’
‘A shame?’ Sheila replied. ‘Are you being sarcastic?’
‘I asked her to come in here.’ Cort intervened as Ruby struggled for a better response. ‘She was sorting out a cupboard, so I thought I’d give her—’
‘I’ll deal with my nurses, thanks, Cort.’ She turned back to Ruby. ‘I’m sick of this, Ruby …’ She shook her head in frustration. ‘I haven’t got time for this right now. I’ll speak to you at your assessment this evening. Bring a coffee,’ she added. ‘We might be there for a while.’
Sheila stormed off, and Cort carried on stitching as Ruby sat there with cheeks flaming. Cort knew that if he didn’t deal with this situation now, he’d forget about it or miss out on seeing Sheila later, and with a small hiss born of frustration and anger he stood again, peeled off another pair of gloves and waded out into the department, leaving Ruby sitting there.
‘It’s not her fault.’ Cort walked into Resus and straight up to Sheila, who was coming off the phone to ICU. ‘What is a student supposed to say when a senior registrar asks her to come and do something for him? She checked with Connor …’
‘Ruby finds excuses all the time, Cort,’ Sheila said. ‘She’d do anything to avoid work and you just gave her the perfect excuse. She searches for them …’
‘She didn’t, though,’ Cort said. ‘I approached her.’
‘Fine,’ Sheila said. ‘I’ll bear it in mind. Right now I’ve got more important things to deal with.’ Cort looked over to the screened area where Sheila was heading, where the team was working solidly. He caught Jamelia’s eye and she came over.
‘Thanks, Cort.’ Jamelia meant it. The hellish intubation had turned into a nightmare just as Cort had arrived and she was incredibly grateful that Cort had taken over when he had.
‘Call for help,’ Cort said, ‘preferably before you really need it.’
Jamelia nodded.
‘So,’ Ruby said when he returned to the suture room. ‘It looks like we’re both in trouble.’
‘I’m not in trouble,’ Cort said. ‘I’m just running out of size 9 gloves.’
He sat down and blew up his hair, because it really was warm in the suture room and he was still so angry he could spit. ‘There’s a big difference,’ he said, ‘between hero and ego. If you take anything from this place—take that.’
Ruby nodded.
‘I told Sheila it wasn’t your fault,’ he added as she snipped the last of the stitches.
‘Thanks,’ Ruby said. ‘Though I doubt it will help.’
He wanted to ask more, wanted to find out why she was in trouble, but he didn’t want to wonder more about her as well. She stayed quiet as he finished the neat row of sutures then he asked her to put on a dressing, thanked her for her help, peeled off the plastic gloves and washed his hands.
‘Cort.’ Jamelia came to the door and it sounded an awful lot as if she’d been crying. ‘Would you mind …?’ She gave a small swallow. ‘Would you mind talking to the relatives for me?’
‘I’ll come and take a look at him first.’ Cort nodded and picked up his jacket just as Sheila bustled in.
‘Jamelia, the relatives really do need to be spoken to ASAP.’
‘I’m going to do it,’ Cort said.
‘You go with Cort.’ Sheila glanced over at Ruby. ‘I’ll finish up in here.’
Ruby would have preferred an emergency tracheotomy, even ten of them, rather than the prospect of sitting with relatives as bad news was delivered, and she fumbled for yet another excuse. ‘Connor said I was to go straight to coffee after doing this.’
‘You couldn’t say no to the senior reg when he asked you to do something for him, I can understand that.’ Sheila fixed her with a stare. ‘So don’t say no to the NUM.’
Ruby nodded and swallowed and glanced up to Cort.
‘Come on,’ he said. ‘I just want to see for myself how he is first.’
They walked into Resus and the anaesthetist gave Cort a full briefing. Ruby stood quietly and looked at the young man for a moment then looked away as Cort examined his eyes and his ears and checked his reflexes for himself. She could hear all the anaesthetist was saying and it sounded a lot less than hopeful.
‘Let’s do this, then.’
They walked down the corridor to the little interview room and just as they got there, Ruby was quite sure that she couldn’t go in.
‘I don’t know what to say,’ she admitted, and Cort turned round briefly.
‘You don’t have to say anything,’ Cort said. ‘Come on.’
And she wanted to turn, wanted to run. For a full three seconds she seriously considered it, except he’d knocked and opened the door and there was a whole family whose eyes turned anxiously towards them. A nurse running off would only terrify them more than they were already.
It was the only reason she forced herself to go in.
CHAPTER TWO
COULD he not give them a little more hope?
Ruby sat in with the family and listened as Cort gave the grim diagnosis.
‘The paramedics were unable to intubate him,’ Cort reiterated.
‘But he was bagged …’ The young man’s sister was a nurse and she was absolutely not having it, refusing to accept the grim diagnosis. ‘He would have got some oxygen. And it was just a couple of minutes from the hospital when he went into respiratory arrest.’
‘Yes,’ Cort said. ‘However, his airway was severely obstructed, so we’re not sure how effective that was. His head injuries are extensive too,’ he added, and the ping-pong match went on as Ruby sat there, the family demanding more hope than Cort would permit.
‘We’re going to move him up to ICU within the next half hour—they’re just preparing for him.’
‘Can we see him first?’
‘Brief ly,’ Cort said, then he warned them all what to expect and Ruby just sat there. He told them it would be a little while till they were able to go in, but someone would be along just as soon as they could to fetch them.
And as Ruby stared at her knees, she tried not to cry as Cort finished the interview.
‘I really am very sorry.’
‘Don’t be sorry,’ the sister answered tartly. ‘Just save him.’
‘I see from his notes that he’s Catholic,’ Cort said. ‘Would you like us to arrange the priest to visit him?’
Ruby thought she might stand and run out of there as the family started really sobbing, but at that point Cort stood.
‘Someone will be in shortly.’
‘Could you not have been a bit gentler with them?’ Ruby asked when they were outside.
‘Why?’ Cort asked. ‘Soon they’re going to be approached to consider organ donation …’
‘Excuse me.’
He watched as she walked quickly to the patient toilet and he thought of waiting till she came out, but it wasn’t his problem. Instead he went and spoke to Connor then gave ICU a ring. He then found Jamelia in tears in his office and dealt with her as kindly as he could. Vomiting nurses and emergency doctors who couldn’t deal with emergencies really weren’t his problem.
He actually felt sorry for Jamelia.
A temporary locum, she had worked mainly in the country and simply wasn’t used to the volume of patients that came through Eastern Beaches’ doors. She was filling big shoes too—Nick, a popular locum, was on his honeymoon, and though their paths had never crossed, Cort knew the energy and fun he had brought to this difficult place. Jamelia told him that after Nick, and with Cort now back, she felt as though she was a disappointment to everyone. So after a long chat with Jamelia he headed to the kitchen, where someone had made a pot of tea. He poured himself a cup, then frowned at the watery fluid and opened the lid of the pot, only to see a pile of leaves and herbs. He made a mug of coffee instead and headed for the staffroom.
‘Why is there a garden growing in the teapot?’ he asked, and sat down.
‘Ruby’s herbs!’ Siobhan, another nurse on duty, rolled her eyes. ‘Just in case your immune system needs boosting.’
‘I’ll stick with caffeine, thanks.’
He glanced over to where Ruby sat, reading a book on her coffee break, her complexion a touch whiter than it had been in the suture room.
‘Where’s Jamelia?’ Doug, the consultant, popped his head in. ‘Hiding in the office again?’
‘Go easy,’ Cort sighed.
‘Someone has to say something,’ Doug said.
‘I just have.’
‘Okay.’ Doug nodded. ‘I’ll leave her for now.’
‘You know what they say …’ Siobhan yawned and stretched out her legs. ‘If you can’t stand the heat …’
And Ruby couldn’t stand this place.
They just spoke about everything and anyone wherever they wanted, just bitched and dissected people, and didn’t care who heard. She couldn’t stand Siobhan and her snide comments, and she really thought she might say something, just might stand up and tell her what an absolute bitch she was, that any normal person would be sitting in an office sobbing when a twenty-three-year-old was going to die. That laughing and joking and eating chocolate and watching television as the priest walked past the staffroom was bizarre behaviour.
‘Ruby.’ It was Sheila who popped her head round the door now. ‘Are you finished your break?’
‘Yes.’ She closed the book she had seemed so focused on, except she had never turned a page, Cort realised as she stood up.
‘Come into my office then—bring a drink if you want to.’
‘Sure.’
He could see two spots of red on the apple of her cheeks, could see the effort behind her bright smile as a couple of staff offered their best wishes as she headed out of the room, then Siobhan called out to her as she reached the door.
‘Ruby, can you empty out the teapot when you use it?’ Siobhan said.
‘Sure.’
‘Only it’s annoying,’ Siobhan said. ‘Perhaps you could bring in your own teapot?’
Cort watched the set of her shoulders, saw her turn and look over at Siobhan, and for a second she looked as if she was about to say something less than pleasant, but instead she gave that wide smile. ‘Fine,’ Ruby said, and headed off for her assessment.
‘Love to be a fly on the wall!’ Siobhan smirked. ‘Sheila’s going to rip her in two.’
Someone else sniggered and Cort just sat there.
‘What is it with her bloody herbs?’ Siobhan just would not let up and Cort was about to tell her to do just that, but he knew what would happen if he did—there’d be rumours then that he was sticking up for a certain nurse, that he fancied her.
But Siobhan was still banging on and his mood was less than pleasant.
‘Her immune system probably needs all the help it can get in this place,’ Cort said as he stood up and headed out of the staffroom. ‘Given how toxic this place can be at times.’
CHAPTER THREE
THEY could fail her.
Ruby tried not to think about it as she stalled the car coming out of the staff car park. There were new boom gates and the car was so low that, as she leant out of the window to swipe her ID card, it stalled and, grinding the gears in the shiny silver sports car all the way home she wished, not for the first time, that her brother had bought an automatic.
Normally she walked or took the bus to work, but it was Saturday and she’d promised her housemates to get home as soon as she could and meet them at the Stat Bar, so had taken the car. But as she pulled into Hill Street, the temptation to change her mind and forgo the rapid change of clothes and mad dash out was almost overwhelming—a noisy bar was the last place she wanted to be tonight.
Far preferable would it be to curl up on the sofa and just hide, but she’d had two excited texts from Tilly already, urging her to get there ASAP because she had some wonderful news.
Ruby let herself into the house and could smell the perfume her housemates had left behind on their way out. There was a bottle of wine opened on the kitchen table and a box of chocolates too. How much nicer it would be to pour a glass of wine and sit in the darkness alone with chocolate than head out there, but then they’d ring her, Ruby realised, and as if to prove the point her mobile shrilled.
‘Where are you?’ Tilly demanded.
She was about to say that she was going to give it a miss, but could not face the barrage of questions. ‘I’m just getting changed.’
‘Well, hurry. I’ll look out for you.’
Ruby trudged up the stairs, had a rapid shower then tried to work out what to wear—nothing in her wardrobe, or over the chair, or on the floor, matched her mood.
And it wasn’t just what Sheila had said that was upsetting her. As she’d headed away from her hellish shift and a very prolonged assessment, she’d passed the young man’s family, comforting each other outside the hospital—and worse, far worse, the daughter had come over and thanked her.
For what? Ruby had wanted to ask, because she’d done absolutely nothing.
‘You were lovely with Mum,’ the daughter had said, and only then had Ruby recalled that when Cort had asked them about the priest she’d found herself holding the woman’s hand.
Their grief was so palpable, so thick and real that it seemed to have followed her home, and despite the shower it felt as if it had seeped into her skin.
‘Come on, Ruby,’ she told herself. She turned on some music and danced around the room for a moment, doing all she could to raise her spirits.
And it worked a bit because she selected a nice cream skirt and a backless halter-neck top, pulled on all her silver bangles and put big silver earrings on. Looking in the mirror, Ruby decided that with a nice dash of lipstick she could pass as happy.
She didn’t feel quite so brave, though, as she walked down Hill Street, turned the corner and walked past the New-Age shop she had worked in for two years after finishing school. She’d been happy then, if a little restless. Her desk had been stuffed with nursing brochures and forms and she had tried to pluck up the courage to apply to study nursing, telling herself she could do it, that even if didn’t appeal, she could get through her general training and then go on to work in mental health.
It would seem she’d been wrong.
She could hear the noise and laughter from the beer garden, knew her friends were wondering where she had got to, and she stood outside for a moment and pretended to read a text on her phone. She looked out at Coogee Beach and longed to walk there in the darkness and gather her thoughts.
‘Ruby!’ Tilly, her housemate, caught her just as her decision to wander was made. ‘Finally you’re here!’ Tilly said, and then frowned. ‘Are you okay?’ Tilly always looked out for her, for all the girls really. Ruby wondered whether she should just come out and say that Sheila had warned her that unless things improved she was going to have to repeat her Emergency rotation, except Ruby remembered that Tilly had news of her own and was desperate to tell her friend.
‘I’m fine. So what’s your news?’
Tilly’s face spread into a smile. She was a redhead too, but there the similarities ended. Her hair was lighter and much curlier than Ruby’s and Tilly was taller and a calmer, more centred person. Also unlike Ruby, she was totally in love with her work. ‘I delivered an unexpected breech today. Ruby, it was brilliant, the best feeling ever.’ Tilly was a newly qualified midwife and babies, mothers, bonding, skin to skin were absolutely her passion. Even if Ruby could think of nothing more terrifying than delivering a breech baby, she knew this was food for Tilly’s soul.
‘That’s brilliant.’ Ruby didn’t force her smile and hug. She was genuinely thrilled for Tilly.
‘I just saw this little bottom …’ Tilly gushed. ‘I called for help but as quickly as that he just unfolded, his little legs and hips came out and he just hung there. Mum was amazing. I mean just amazing …’
Ruby stood and listened as Tilly gave her the first of no doubt many detailed accounts of how the senior midwife had let her finish the job, how the doctor had arrived just as the delivery was complete.
‘I’m talking too much,’ Tilly said.
‘You’re not!’
‘Come on,’ Tilly said. ‘Your mob are here too.’
‘My mob?’ Ruby asked as they walked in. ‘You’re my mob!’
‘There are loads from Emergency here.’
God, that was all she needed. Half of Ruby’s problem with Emergency was that she didn’t like the staff. Okay, it was probably an eighth of her problem, but they were just so confident, so cliquey, and so bloody bitchy as well, and close proximity to them was so not needed tonight.
Ruby walked in and straight over to her friends, deliberately pretending not to even see the rowdy Emergency crowd and hoping that they wouldn’t see her. Not that there was much chance of that. With her long auburn hair she always stood out, but they’d hardly be wanting a student nurse to join them, she consoled herself.
‘Here she is!’ Jess, another housemate, had already bought her a beer and Ruby took a sip as Jess asked how her shift had gone.
‘Long,’ Ruby said, and she did what she always did and smiled, because she was a happy person, a positive, outgoing, slightly flaky person—it was just Emergency that affected her so much. ‘Where’s Ellie?’
‘Chatting up “the one”.’ Jess grinned and nodded over to the bar, where Ellie was sitting on some guy’s lap, the pair earnestly talking, utterly engrossed and oblivious to everyone around them. Ruby laughed, because for the next few weeks he would be all they heard about. Ellie, determined to find her life partner and get the family she craved, drifted happily from boyfriend to boyfriend in her quest for ‘the one’, but as Ruby turned back to Jess and Tilly, her eyes drifted to the emergency table, and inadvertently she caught Connor’s eye.
‘Ruby!’ Connor waved for her to come over and she was about to pretend she hadn’t noticed but knew it would be rude, so she beamed in his direction and gave a wave. ‘I’ll just be two minutes,’ she said to her friends. ‘Any longer and you have to come and rescue me.’
‘Where did you get to at work?’ Connor asked as she came over. ‘I never saw you after supper. I thought you were down to work with me in Resus?’
‘My assessment took a bit longer than expected,’ Ruby answered.
‘Yeah,’ Connor joked, ‘you’ve always got an excuse.’ He was just chatting and joking, he certainly wasn’t there to talk about work, or tell her off, except inadvertently he had echoed Sheila’s words. It seemed to have been noticed that any patient that needed to be taken to the ward, Ruby put her hand up. Any stores or laundry that needed to be put away, Ruby was already onto it and, yes, people had noticed.
‘So?’ Connor asked. ‘How was it?’
‘How was what?’ Ruby said, biting into her lemon.
‘Your assessment?’
‘Oh, you know …’ She forced a smile and rolled her eyes. ‘Must try harder.’
Her face was burning, but she certainly wasn’t going to share with Connor all that had been said and stupidly she felt as if she was going to start crying. God, Ruby thought, she should have had that walk on the beach before she’d come in. Her eyes darted for escape, for a reason to excuse herself, and suddenly there he was. Cort Mason was back in her line of vision. This time, though, his tie was loosened and he was sitting next to a doctor she vaguely recognised. He gave her a very brief nod, or did he? Ruby couldn’t be sure, and then he turned back to his conversation but, not that she could have known it, his mind was on her.
It had been since she’d walked into the bar and perhaps, Cort admitted to himself, for a while before that.
‘Hey, Ruby!’ He pretended not to be looking, except his eyes roamed the bar and his ears were certainly not on Geoff’s conversation as Ruby’s friend came over. ‘We’re supposed to be celebrating with Tilly …’
‘Sorry, Jess!’ Ruby smiled, glad they’d remembered to rescue her! ‘Just coming … See you, Connor.’ She glanced over to the table but everyone was busy with conversations of their own, but she did, Cort noticed, make an effort. ‘Catch you guys.’ She gave a brief unreturned wave that had the light reflecting off all her silver bracelets and then as she drifted off he saw her back and there was a lot of back because she was wearing a halter neck that showed her white shoulders and way down her spine. She was also wearing a small skirt and flat sandals and for the fist time in a very long time Cort noticed everything. Then he glanced across the table and saw Siobhan’s eyes on him, watching him watching Ruby, and Cort knew to be more careful than that. So very deliberately he didn’t look out for her again after that. Instead, he chatted to Geoff and the rest of the table, yet she was there in the background, laughing and happy, a blaze of colour in the middle of the bar. Though he tried not to notice, he still did, so much so that he was aware the minute she left.
‘Leaving?’ Siobhan asked as he drained his drink.
‘No,’ Cort said, even though it had been his intention. ‘Just getting another.’
And he headed for the bar rather than for home, but though still packed, the Stat Bar felt empty now. Well, not empty, Cort thought as he squeezed his way back to the table, it just felt pointless, he decided as he sat down to wait it out.
‘We’re going to Adam’s,’ Geoff said a little while later, when Cort really was about to head for home. ‘Are you coming?’
‘Adam?’ Cort asked.
‘Adam Carmichael.’
‘Oh!’ He’d worked with Adam in the past and even if they kept only loosely in touch as Cort commuted between Melbourne and Sydney and Adam roamed the globe, working for Operation New Faces, Cort considered him a friend. ‘Is he back?’
Geoff didn’t answer. Everyone was drifting off and Cort was about to do the same, but that morning, before he’d pulled on the brown suit and chosen a lighter tie, he’d walked along a beach just a couple of suburbs from here and he’d made a promise, not to his sister, but to Beth, to say yes.
To live this life.
Except, now that he was starting to, Cort so did not want to be doing this.
One drink and he’d be out of there, Cort decided as they turned into Hill Street.
It was a nice house, Cort thought as Geoff opened the creaking gate. Sure, it needed a bit of work, but it was a lovely older building and just a two-minute walk from the beach. Who cared if it was in need of a little TLC?
There was a small decked area and the front door was open. Suddenly the music was turned on and wafted out to greet them, and as he walked in through the hall Cort wanted to turn around and walk back out, because there was a dangerous vision walking towards him.
She looked the same from the waist up as she had in the pub, though instead of a beer she was holding a glass of milk and a bag of pistachio nuts and her auburn, or rather titian, hair was now loosely clipped up.
He noticed, he really noticed, because if he didn’t then his eyes would flick down and he really didn’t want to notice that her sandals and skirt were off, that she was wearing lilac boy pants and that there was a gap between the top of them and her top, which showed a soft, pale stomach.
She’d been crying—her eyes were red and the tip of her nose was too.
‘Are you okay?’ her friend asked.
‘I’m fine, Tilly, just watching a sad movie. I didn’t realise there’d be a home invasion tonight—I’ll go and get dressed.’
She slipped past him and up the stairs and Cort headed through to the lounge—a large area with lots of sofas and magazines and a little pile of tissues. Emergency registrars sometimes made good detectives, because for reasons that shouldn’t matter to him, as someone handed him a beer, Cort put his hand on the turned-off television and confirmed what he suspected—it was cold.
And why should it even matter to him that Ruby was sitting at home crying Cort would rather not explore, he had more than enough troubles of his own to be dealing with.
No, he didn’t, Cort told himself, at least, not any more.
‘Where’s Adam?’ Cort asked Ruby’s friend.
‘He’s away.’ She smiled. ‘He’s hardly ever here …’ She must have seen him frown, and she took a moment to explain. ‘I’m Tilly, there’s Jess.’ She pointed to a blonde and then to another one. ‘And that’s Ellie.’
‘And …’ Cort started and then stopped, because what business of his was it if there had been a redhead in her underwear in their lounge just a few moments ago?
‘Oh.’ Tilly smiled. ‘There’s also Ruby—she’s the one who’s just gone to get changed. We rent the house from Adam.’
He was at a student nurses’ party.
He so did not need this.
Okay, they weren’t all students. Tilly was telling him now that she was a graduate midwife and that she’d had her first breech today, and as he tried to stop his eyes from glazing over as she went into detail, Cort decided to excuse himself and leave just the second that he could—he’d done enough ‘must get out more’ for one night.
He was just about to slip away unnoticed when Ruby came downstairs.
Whatever had been upsetting her had clearly been taken care of because there was no evidence of tears and she was back to happy now. She turned up the music and started dancing, and Cort was determined to leave, except she really was lovely to watch, all sort of loose limbed and free, and what’s more she was dancing her way over to him.
‘You look how I feel,’ Ruby said, because if ever someone didn’t want to be there it was Cort Mason. He belonged in that suit, Ruby had decided before their encounter today. He belonged behind a stethoscope, or peering down his nose at minions, except he hadn’t been like that today and she’d revised her judgement. Though she loathed Emergency and most of the staff that came with it, Cort wasn’t like the others, he was just aloof.
‘You look like I never would,’ Cort said in return, and he wasn’t sure if that made sense, but even without the hellish last five years, even a decade ago, when he had belonged at student parties, he’d been the boring one. He would never stand in a room and dance alone with others watching, had never been as free as she appeared tonight. She must have caught his words because she smiled up at him.
‘Takes practice,’ Ruby said, and she picked up one of the many little bowls that Tilly was dotting about the place and offered it to him. He should have just said no, should have made no comment, or just taken a handful, but he screwed his nose up at the Bombay mix, and maybe her attitude was somehow catching because a teeny, tiny corner of it seemed to have worked its way over to him.
‘I’d rather have some pistachios,’ Cort said, which told her he’d noticed her when he’d walked in.
‘Ah, no.’ Ruby shook her head. ‘They’re not to be put out for the general public, you get the Bombay mix. I’ve hidden my pistachios.’
‘Sensible girl,’ Cort said, and he wanted to pause time for a moment, have a little conversation with himself to ask himself if he was flirting. But he wasn’t, he quickly told himself, because, well, he just didn’t do that and certainly not with student nurses.
‘Not generally.’
‘Sorry?’ He was too busy thinking to keep track of the conversation.
‘I’m not generally considered sensible.’
‘So why?’ Cort asked, when really he shouldn’t, when really he should just leave. ‘Do you feel how I look?’
‘You first,’ Ruby said. ‘Why do you look like you’re about to head off?’
Cort didn’t answer.
‘Why should I tell you what’s upsetting me, only to have you leave five minutes later?’
‘Fair enough,’ Cort said, because what right did he have to ask her what was on her mind when soon he’d be out of there? Anyway, he knew she was in trouble with work, but would that really matter to a flighty little thing like her?
‘How was your holiday?’ It was Ruby’s turn to probe, but she’d been in Emergency for four weeks now and he’d just been there for only one of them.
‘It wasn’t really a holiday,’ Cort said.
‘Oh.’
‘Family.’ Cort certainly wasn’t about to tell her the truth. Hardly anyone at work knew, just his direct boss and a couple of people in Admin, but he had always been private and in this he was intensely so, not just for his sake but for Beth’s.
There really wasn’t that much to talk about anyway. It didn’t feel quite right that he was even here, except he was and he asked her something now about her family, if she was local, but didn’t quite catch her answer and had to lower his head a bit to hear.
‘At Whale Beach,’ Ruby said. ‘About an hour or so from here.’
And he could have lifted his head then—after all, he’d heard now what she had said—except he was terribly aware of the sensation of her face close to his, just as he had been in the suture room.
Something tightened inside Ruby as she inhaled the scent of his hair again, and she was sure, quite, quite sure that if she just stayed still, if she did not move, if she could somehow now not breathe, whatever was in the air between them would turn his mouth those few inches to hers—and she wanted it to.
‘I think I should go.’ Strange that he didn’t lift his head, strange that still he lingered.
‘Hey, Cort …’ He heard his name and turned to see that another mob from Emergency was arriving and he couldn’t believe how close he’d come, how very careless he had almost been, especially as there was motor-mouth Siobhan too, so for Ruby’s sake he was relieved when she quickly excused herself and slipped away.
Ruby, too, had seen them arriving and a busman’s holiday she did not need, so as they blocked the stairs, talking, Ruby stepped out onto the veranda, her heart hammering just a little bit harder than normal, her lips regretting the absence of Cort’s, and her problems, which she’d momentarily escaped from, caught up with her all over again. She could hear the noise and the throb of the party and decided she would pop over next door tomorrow morning just to check that Mrs. Bennett wasn’t upset about the party. The old lady insisted she didn’t mind a bit, but it was always nice to have a reason to pop over.
Maybe she could talk to her a little, Ruby mused. Mrs. Bennett was so lovely and wise, except … Ruby closed her eyes … nothing any one might say could actually change things. Quite simply, she was terrified to go back to work and terrified of failing too. Sheila’s ominous warning replayed in her mind for perhaps the two hundred and fifty-second time that night.
‘It’s a pass or fail unit, Ruby.’ Sheila was immutable. ‘If you don’t pass, you’ll have to repeat.’
Six more weeks of Emergency was something she could not do. Six more shifts, six more hours, six more minutes was bad enough, but six more weeks was nigh on impossible.
She thought about telling her friends, but she was so embarrassed. They all seemed to be breezing through. Tilly just loved midwifery and Ellie and Jess were loving their studies and placements too. How could she explain that she could very easily chuck it in this minute rather than face going back there tomorrow, let alone having to repeat?
She glanced down towards the beach and thought of the little shop she had worked in for a couple of years, selling jewellery and crystals and candles, and how much safer that had been, yet it hadn’t been quite enough.
She wanted so desperately to do mental health, wanted just to scrape through her emergency rotation so she could go on and study what she truly loved.
And then she saw it.
Hope hung in the sky in the shape of a new moon and Ruby smiled in relief.
‘Please.’ She made her wish. ‘Please get me through A and E. Please find a way for me to get through it.’
Cort walked out and found her standing talking to the sky and not remotely embarrassed at being caught.
‘I was just making my new-moon wishes.’
‘As you do,’ was Cort’s rather dry response, because it would never even have entered his head that as he’d walked along his own beach, just that very morning, he’d made, if not a wish, a promise. ‘‘Night, then. I’m off.’
He walked down the path and opened a squeaking gate and had every intention of heading down Hill Street and seeing if there was a taxi—it was his absolute intention, but he found himself turning around. ‘What did you wish for?’
‘You’re not supposed to tell anyone,’ Ruby explained, ‘or it won’t happen …’ She saw his brief nod, knew he would turn to go again, but she also knew that she didn’t want him to. ‘It was a sensible wish, though.’
‘Glad to hear it.’
Keep walking, he told himself, and his legs obeyed, just not in the direction he had intended because he was walking towards her.
‘Why were you crying when we came in?’
‘I wasn’t.’ Instantly she was defensive.
‘Ruby?’
‘Okay—why wouldn’t I be crying? A twenty-three-year-old is almost certainly going to lose his life … he’s my age.’
Cort nodded, because he knew how confronting that could be. Ruby was right, she had every reason to be sitting alone in tears over a patient. ‘Talk to people at work,’ Cort suggested. ‘We’ve got a good team—let them know …’ He saw her eyes shutter, saw her close off, so he decided there was nothing further to be said. She had given him a reason, he’d in turn given advice, except something told him there was more to it than just that.
‘What about Sheila?’ He saw her shrug. ‘Your assessment?’
All he got was silence and he was determined not to break it, just stood till after perhaps a full minute finally she responded.
‘She wants to see an improvement.’
‘In what area?’ Cort asked, and this time he gave in and broke the ensuing silence. ‘How much longer have you got in A and E?’
‘Two weeks. Well, just tomorrow and Monday, then I’m off for a while and back for three nights the following Monday.’
‘And then?’
‘Then I’m finished,’ Ruby said. ‘Then I start, I suppose—I want to be a mental health nurse.’ As he opened his mouth, she got in first. ‘I know, I know, the staff are as mad as the patients—’ she smiled as she said it ‘—so I’ll fit right in. Really, I’m just biding my time …’
‘Biding your time doesn’t work in A and E,’ Cort said. ‘And Sheila’s tough, but she’s good—listen to her.’
‘I will.’
‘Are you going back in?’ He didn’t like leaving her, didn’t understand why she would rather stand alone in the dark than join her friends.
‘I might just stay out here for a while.’ She thought of Siobhan and Connor and thought of going back in and doing the happy-clappy but she really couldn’t face it. ‘I might just go to bed.’
‘You’re not going to get much sleep with that noise.’
‘It’s not the noise that’ll disturb me. I’ll have Tilly coming up to find out what’s wrong, then Ellie then Jess. It’s just easier to …’ She gave another shrug. ‘I might go for a walk on the beach.’
‘Now, that really would be stupid—walking alone …’
‘Come with me, then.’ He could see the white of her teeth as she spoke, could hear the waves in the background, and for a moment he actually considered it, a bizarre moment because Cort didn’t do midnight walks. Well, he did, but not with company, except he did like talking to her.
‘I don’t think that’s a very good idea.’
‘I think it’s a very good idea,’ Ruby said, because he’d stepped a little bit closer and she didn’t want him to go. Cort had been the only solace in a day that had been horrible, and even if a while ago she had wanted to be alone, it was far, far nicer being here with him. ‘I like walking on the beach.’
‘I meant …’ Cort hesitated, ‘I meant you and me …’ He tried to change what he’d said, but only made matters worse. ‘Us,’ he attempted, and Ruby smiled.
‘As I said …’ She looked at his tie which was grey in the darkness, but which she knew was really a lovely lilac, and she did what she had wanted to do in the suture room—she put her hand up and felt the cool silk. She wanted him to go with her, wanted a little more of the peace she had found with him today. ‘I think it’s a very good idea.’
Cort wanted to go with her too, though not necessarily to the beach.
He didn’t do this type of thing.
He didn’t find himself at student nurse parties, neither did he find himself in situations such as this one because he didn’t put himself there.
He liked it now that he was, though.
Liked it a lot because the next thing he knew he was kissing her.
It was the nicest thing. It really was a lovely kiss. He sort of bent down and caught her, not completely by surprise because she’d felt his presence all night, or had it been before that? Ruby thought as his mouth roamed hers.
She’d never kissed anyone in a suit.
Never kissed anyone as lovely before, come to think of it.
She couldn’t hear the music from the house now, wasn’t aware of anything except the lovely circle his arms created around them and what was happening in the centre. He had a hand on the wall and one in her hair over her neck, and his kiss was measured and deep like its owner, but as his tongue met hers, as she tasted his breath, there was more passion in his kiss than she’d ever anticipated, more passion than she’d ever tasted, and that it came from Cort made it all the more wild, like a secret only she was privy to. He pulled her head closer just a fraction and his mouth welcomed her a whole lot more and Ruby wanted to climb up his chest to wrap herself around him. She wanted his tie off, she wanted his shirt off, she wanted the party to disappear … she wanted more.
He pulled back just a fraction, and if their mouths weren’t touching any more, they still thrummed. He looked down, not at a student nurse and a whole set of problems but into velvet-brown eyes and felt rare intimacy. It wasn’t just lust or a sudden urge. It was, quite simply, just nice to feel, and he hadn’t felt anything for so very long now—yet he was able to with her.
‘Do you want a nut?’ He could taste her words, could feel them because as she spoke her lips dusted his.
And in turn Ruby felt rather than saw him smile, felt his lips spread, and, yes, she would kiss them again in a moment, just not here. He was like her beloved pistachios, she decided, all brittle and hard but so readily cracked and such a reward to get to the delicious centre.
Cort was used to making rapid decisions—it was what he did for a living after all—but always his decisions were measured, tempered by outcomes and responsibilities. They just weren’t tonight.
‘I want you,’ Cort said.
Which he did.
It was as simple as that.
CHAPTER FOUR
SHE went in first and checked that the coast was clear. It was, well, sort of. There was a couple necking in the hall, but the rest were all gathered in the lounge room, so she waved him in and up the stairs and they bolted along the hall.
‘Won’t they all come up?’ Cort asked as they stepped into her bedroom. ‘To see how you are?’
‘No,’ Ruby said, and grabbed a scarf and tied it onto the handle. ‘That means don’t disturb …’
He wanted to kiss her again, wanted to see her, but as his hand groped for the light switch she stopped him.
‘Don’t,’ Ruby said. ‘Don’t break it.’
‘Break what?’
‘Just … whatever it is that we’ve got.’
He stood a touch unsure as she lit a candle in the corner and then another and another till the room was bathed in dancing fingers of orange and white. Then she hauled over a chair and, just to be sure, wedged it against the door handle.
It was a room called Ruby. There were drapes, curtains, cushions, candles and crystals, all things that usually did not interest him.
There was the beat of the music and noises from downstairs and he was too old, too jaded, too bitter for someone so light and so lovely, but she’d been crying, he reminded himself as she turned to him.
He was going to leave, Ruby knew that. He was going to change his mind, but he could change it in the morning, because she wanted him tonight.
She wanted him in a way she had never wanted someone before. It was an imperative, a knowledge that this was their only chance, and she was incredibly bold in a way she wasn’t usually. She took him by the hand and to a bed that was really rather small. She felt his hesitation and tension and she wanted it gone so she kissed him, and in that moment she welcomed him back in an instant, because out went trouble as he kissed her onto the bed and they tumbled into paradise.
Tongues and taste and the lovely wedge of his body blew cares away as he lay sort of over and beside her—backed into a corner in possibly the nicest of ways. She could feel the belt of his suit against her stomach, feel the roaming of his hands over her waist then sliding to her bottom then almost apologetically heading back to her waist. She could feel him holding back when he didn’t want to.
When she didn’t want him to.
She kissed his chin and up his cheek, moved his hand back to her bottom and heard the sigh of his breath, and she pressed just a little into him and kissed his eyes and his ears, and it was like tripping a switch, because suddenly he was on top of her, his mouth hungry and urgent. He kissed her throat and then up to her mouth and her body pressed into him some more, and then she could climb up and wrap herself around him as she had wanted to before, but she pulled back his head, wanted to see him again, to hear him again, before she kissed him again.
‘Why,’ she whispered, ‘are you always so crabby?’
‘Because I’m miserable?’ He stopped and smiled down at her.
‘But you’re not.’
‘I am,’ he insisted. ‘I really am.’
‘You’re not tonight,’ Ruby said, and he had to agree with her.
‘No. I’m not tonight.’
He wanted her skirt off, wanted to see her as she had been when he’d walked into the house, but it would seem Ruby had rules.
‘I’m not making love to a man in a suit—in a brown suit.’
‘Taupe.’ Cort smiled, not even a little smile but a full, wide smile that she had never before seen, and Ruby caught her breath because it completely changed him. She went for his tie, then changed her mind.
‘You do it,’ she said.
She wriggled from under him and climbed off the bed and left him lying there. She looked down at him and he undid his tie, but that was as far as he went.
‘You want it off …’ Cort said. ‘Come and get it.’
So she did, pulling it off before she went for his jacket next.
‘Shoes,’ he said, and she took off one. ‘Both of them.’
‘You’ve got more clothes than me.’
Wasn’t he supposed to be riddled with guilt, or aching with regret? Not sitting up just to get her to remove another sandal, which she did.
‘Shirt,’ Ruby said, and he obliged.
‘Skirt,’ Cort said, and so too did she.
She wanted to go over to the bed and climb onto him, she couldn’t have ever guessed just how wanton she could be, but he rewarded her not with this game but with his smile, with a Cort Mason she would never have guessed was there beneath the austere exterior. She liked standing before him, drunk on lust and shivering with want, teasing each other and making each other wait.
‘Belt,’ said Ruby.
‘Hardly fair on you,’ Cort said, because she was down to her halter and panties and he still had socks and shoes and trousers and belt, but Ruby didn’t seem to mind. In fact, she stopped him when he magnanimously went to undo his zipper.
‘Just the belt will do,’ Ruby said, and as with his tie he merely loosened it.
‘Take it off, then.’
Which meant she got to touch him. Slowly, very slowly she pulled loose the belt and she wanted to dive onto him then, but Cort reminded her it was her turn. She slid her top up slowly and she had to close her eyes at one point because, so close to him, she wanted to bend towards his mouth, wanted to climb into bed and be with him, but instead she took off her top and it was bizarre but she didn’t feel shy or stupid. Instead, with Cort she felt free.
She stared down and saw the lust and approval in the eyes that caressed her skin. Then she stared down at herself and saw two very small breasts that she now rather liked, because how could she not when Cort craved them so much that he reached out his hand and stroked one slowly, till she blew out a held breath and thought she’d sink to her knees.
‘I’ll help with your shoes.’
She bent over him and as he stroked her breast she took off his shoes and socks, and then she kissed his toes.
And he lay there about to pull away because how could he let her? Except her tongue was so sure.
Would he regret this?
He asked himself once as she stood again and then he answered, never, because this wasn’t sad or guilt ridden. There was no one else in his head but Ruby, nothing else but him and her.
He could never have thought it would be so magical.
That it could ever be so pure and good again.
That they would have their own rules and their own ways.
He watched her kneel and rummage in a drawer and come out with pistachios.
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CAROL MARINELLI
It’s their last summer of being single! Off duty, these three nurses, and one midwife, are young, free and fabulous – for the moment…Ruby’s Diary:However much I might not be loving my rotation in A&E, there is one perk that makes my job more fun… Flirting with Senior Registrar Cort Mason is definitely a distraction, but a moonlit walk on the beach can’t be a good idea…and as for kissing him? Well, that’s deliciously dangerous!
Cort Mason–
Dr Delectable
Carol Marinelli
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Table of Contents
Cover (#uf92a7f60-d1d2-5908-9d8b-a095370d6d86)
Title Page (#uf8d08001-6d6f-5d79-81fd-a4bb48b7ae88)
Praise (#uea782b96-cdcc-5b7f-b16c-c374829dd3aa)
Prologue (#u9636c148-930a-5468-b73b-33c48471f700)
Chapter One (#u3543e16f-e099-520b-a9ba-f71bd845303f)
Chapter Two (#ubf60d764-df84-53e4-bc8b-4bd0998ff974)
Chapter Three (#ud4e5f2ca-dd19-5457-8b36-00c753eee45f)
Chapter Four (#u68c9f53f-0d2b-5383-b5ca-4a039eae8969)
Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fifteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Sixteen (#litres_trial_promo)
About the Author (#litres_trial_promo)
Epilogue (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
Praise for Carol Marinelli:
‘A heartwarming story about taking a chance and not
letting the past destroy the future. It is strengthened by
two engaging lead characters and a satisfying ending.’
—RT Book Reviews on THE LAST KOLOVSKY PLAYBOY
‘Carol Marinelli writes with sensitivity,
compassion and understanding and
RESCUING PREGNANT CINDERELLA
is not just a powerful romance, but an uplifting
and inspirational tale about starting over,
new beginnings and moving on.’
—Cataromance on ST PIRAN’S: RESCUING PREGNANT CINDERELLA
PROLOGUE
‘You need to get back out there, Cort.’
‘Leave it, Elise.’
‘I won’t leave it,’ his sister said.
‘Beth’s only been dead for a month—do you really think it appropriate that I start getting “back out there”?’
And on anyone else his argument would have worked, but his sister was too matter-of-fact, and had been there through it all, and would not be swayed.
‘You’ve been grieving for her for years,’ Elise said. ‘You mourned Beth long, long, long before she died.’
‘So now I should suddenly start partying?’
‘You’ve never partied in your life.’ Elise grinned at her rather serious older brother. ‘So, no, I don’t expect you to start at thirty-two.’ Elise had come here not just to see how her brother was doing since Beth’s death but with intention too, and she was determined to see this conversation through. ‘But there is more to life than work. You need to start going out a bit, do something you haven’t done before, try new things …’
Cort knew she was right—had it been Elise in his position he’d have said exactly the same, except he just didn’t know how to start. Cort had moved back to Sydney three years ago and had chosen not to tell his colleagues about his other life in Melbourne. He had moved back to Sydney to get away from the endless questions from colleagues, and pointless platitudes that did nothing to help.
The last years had been spent working in Sydney and then travelling back to Melbourne on his days off to sit in a nursing home and watch a woman who had once been so educated, so dignified, dribble her food and strip naked at whim. He had watched endless seizures erode what had been left of her brain and, yes, Elise was right—bit by bit, over these past years he had mourned.
‘Say yes.’ Elise drained her glass and bade her brother goodnight.
‘Say yes to what?’ Cort asked.
‘Just say yes next time someone suggests something.’
‘Sure,’ Cort said with absolutely no intention of doing so.
‘For Beth,’ Elise said as she headed to his apartment door. ‘She’d hate both your lives to have been cut short that night.’
She was right.
Cort knew that. He crossed his apartment and could hear the ocean from the open French doors, but he closed them to shut out the roar and the noise, and the room fell silent. Not just from the sound of the ocean but from the roar and the noise in his head. Beth was gone.
CHAPTER ONE
‘ARE you free to give me a hand in the suture room?’ Cort Mason, the senior emergency registrar, asked, and Ruby swung around. ‘It might take a while, though.’
Ruby jumped down from the footstool she was perched on while restocking the cupboard and turned to the voice that was aimed in her direction. She decided that she’d be delighted to give him a hand.
It had nothing to do with the fact he was gorgeous.
Really, it had completely nothing to do with it.
She just wanted an empty Resus before it filled again, which it inevitably would. Sheila, the NUM, had told her to stay in there today, that this was her area, but with a senior registrar asking for her to assist with a patient, well, surely she had no choice in the matter?
None.
‘I’d be happy to.’ Ruby beamed, except her smile wasn’t returned. In fact, he wasn’t even waiting for her response. Already Cort had walked off and was heading into the suture room, rightly perhaps assuming that a student nurse wasn’t likely to say no to his request for assistance.
‘Mr Mason has asked if I can give him a hand.’ Ruby let Connor, the RN in charge of Resus, know where she was going. ‘Is that okay?’
‘Sure,’ Connor said. ‘It’s not as if we’re doing anything.’ He frowned at her. ‘Ruby, why have you got a crepe bandage in your hair?’
‘Sheila!’ Ruby rolled her eyes, because the NUM was surely out to get her. Not only had she insisted that Ruby be allocated the most grisly part of Emergency, she also had a thing about Ruby’s long auburn hair, which was so thick it often defied the hair ties and clips she attempted to hold it back with. This afternoon Sheila had handed her a bandage and told her to sort it once and for all.
‘She’s really got it in for you.’
‘I remind her of her daughter apparently—I’ve no idea why. Anyway, Mr Mason will be wondering where I’ve got to. He said it might take a while.’
‘You might as well go to coffee afterwards, then,’ Connor said. ‘And we’re on first-name terms here—it’s Cort.’
She’d stick with ‘Mr Mason’—her dad was Chief of Surgery at another hospital and had drilled it into her over the years just how important titles were so Ruby had decided it was better to play safe than offend anyone.
She had a quick look around for Sheila and seeing she was busy up the other end darted off, more relieved than Connor could know. Sheila had been very specific in her allocation, ensuring that Ruby was working in Resus, but apart from a febrile convulsion and couple of patients who had been brought over briefly while awaiting blood results it had been delightfully quiet.
‘Put some gloves on,’ Cort said as she entered the suture room. ‘I just need someone to hold Ted’s arm while I suture it. He keeps forgetting to stay still, don’t you, Ted?’
The elderly man grunted and Ruby could smell the brandy fumes that filled the small room.
‘How are you, Ted?’ Ruby asked, pulling on some gloves and looking at the wound, happy, though not for the patient, to see it was a huge cut that would hopefully take ages, and then it would be time for her coffee break and with her assessment and everything, well, she might just not have to go back out there.
She loathed Accident and Emergency, not that anyone could tell. She was always light, breezy and happy and had chosen not to tell even her closest friends just how hard this final unit of her training had been, knowing there was nothing they could do to fix it and choosing just to soldier on.
She had never expected to like it, but the loathing was so acute Ruby was seriously wondering if she would even make it through these last weeks of her training. There was no tangible reason for hating it, nothing Ruby could point to as the reason she hated it so, but walking to her shift, every ambulance that passed, every glimpse of Eastern Beaches Hospital made her want to turn tail and run for home.
Looking back, there had been a few wobbles that might have given warning that Emergency might be unsettling for her—a young man suddenly collapsing after a routine appendectomy and the crash team being called while she was on the surgical ward had stunned Ruby and made her question her decision to study nursing—but she had, for the most part, liked her training. Only liked, though—her real aim was to work as a mental health nurse, but general training was a prerequisite if she wanted to get anywhere in her future career.
‘Okay?’ Cort said. ‘We might be here a while, so I’d make yourself comfortable.’
He took off his jacket and tied on a plastic gown, then washed his hands, dragged a stool over with his foot and settled in for the long haul.
‘He’s asleep,’ Ruby said, stating the obvious, because Ted was snoring loudly now, and even Ruby could see that she might be better utilised elsewhere.
‘I don’t want to wrestle with him if he wakes up.’ He gave a tight smile. ‘Sorry if it’s boring.’
‘Oh, I’m not bored. I’m delighted to be here,’ Ruby said, hearing a noise from outside, a relative arguing with a security guard close to the suture-room door. She gave Cort a wide smile, a smile so bright that he hesitated for a moment before returning it with a slightly bemused one, then he turned his attention back to his patient. He cleaned the wound and injected anaesthetic as Ruby watched and only then did he offer a response, not looking at her, just concentrating on the wound as he spoke.
‘It’s not often you hear that in this place.’
‘What?’ Ruby asked, her mind elsewhere.
‘People saying that they’re delighted to be here.’
‘I’m a happy apple,’ Ruby said, and watched as his hands stopped, the first knot of the stitch neatly tied. He seemed to be waiting for her to do something.
‘Are you going to cut?’
‘Oh!’ She picked up the scissors with her free hand. ‘I feel like a real nurse. Where do I cut?’ She held the scissors over the thread.
‘A bit shorter.’
There was something lovely and soothing about sitting here and actually doing something, rather than just holding the patient’s hand. And contrary to what she’d heard, Cort Mason was far from grumpy. One on one with him, he was really rather nice.
She’d heard his name mentioned a lot of times. He’d been on annual leave for the first four weeks of her time here and had only been back a week, but he was nothing like the man she’d imagined, the staid man her colleagues had led her to believe he was.
Nothing.
From the way she’d heard people speaking about him Ruby had expected a dour serious man in his fifties.
Instead he’d be in his thirties, with brown hair and hazel eyes, a long straight nose and, not so much dour, or sharp, just … She couldn’t really sum him up in word, and she tried for a moment Outside the suture room, she’d never been privy to small talk with him, had never really seen him smile. He was formal with the patients, distant with the staff, and any hint of ineptness or bureaucracy seemed to irritate him.
Crabby was the best she could come up with.
Except he wasn’t being crabby now.
Ruby looked at his white thick cotton shirt and lilac tie, which was an odd sort of match for his brown suit, yet it went really well and she wondered, just for a second, how it was really possible to find someone who wore a brown suit attractive—except he was.
Up close he really, really was.
There was a lovely fresh scent to him and she thought it came from his hair, which was very close to her face as he bent over to work. She looked at it, and it was lovely and glossy and very straight and neat but there was a jagged edge to the cut that she liked too.
‘Cut,’ Cort reminded her when her eyes wandered, and she snipped the neat stitch he’d tied. ‘I need some more 4/0.’
‘You’re really making me earn my keep!’ Ruby jumped off the stool and tried to locate what he wanted amongst box upon box of different sutures.
‘Left,’ Cort said, to her hand that hovered. ‘Up one,’ he said.
‘Got it.’ She opened the material and tipped it on his tray then washed her hands and again pulled on some gloves before rejoining him. Cort was having another good look at the wound so there was nothing much for her to do and her eyes roamed the room again, landing on his jacket hanging on the door.
‘It’s not really brown,’ she said out loud, and then she blushed, because she did this far too often. Ruby had zero attention span and her mind was constantly chatting and occasionally words just slipped out.
He glanced up and saw her cheeks were bright pink.
‘Your jacket,’ Ruby croaked. ‘It’s not really brown.’
He said nothing, just carried on checking the wound, but his lips twitched for a moment, because he’d had a similar discussion with the shop assistant.
Sick to the back teeth of dour greys and navy suits, he’d bought a couple of new ones, and some shirts and ties. He wasn’t a great shopper, hated it, in fact, and had decided to put his faith in the judgement of the eager shop assistant. But when she’d held up the suit he’d baulked and said there was no way he was wearing brown.
Brown was the sort of thing his father wore, Cort had said to her.
‘It’s not brown,’ the shop assistant had said. ‘It’s taupe.’
‘It’s taupe.’ After a few minutes’ silence, he glanced up to the rather surprised eyes of Ruby. ‘Apparently.’
‘Well, it’s very nice.’
And he didn’t quite smile, but there was just a hint as he got back to his stitches and he saw her hands were just a little bit shaky when she snipped, though he was sure they had been steady before.
He didn’t look up, but he could see her in his mind’s eye for a moment. She was quite a stunning little thing—tiny, with very dark brown eyes and a thick curtain of hair that he’d heard Sheila pull her up about a few times. It was held back today with a ridiculous bandage, but defiantly kept escaping. It was lovely hair, red but not …
‘It’s not really ginger …’ Cort said, and still didn’t look up.
‘Absolutely not,’ was Ruby’s response.
‘Auburn?’
‘Close,’ came her voice. ‘But I prefer titian.’
And he gave a very brief nod and then worked on quietly. It was actually a lovely silence, just nice to sit and watch him work, especially as she could hear things starting to pick up outside. She could hear Connor calling out for assistance and feet running and though it was par for the course here, she screwed her eyes closed for just a second, but he must have looked up and noticed.
‘You okay?’
‘I’m fine.’
‘You don’t need to cut if it’s making you feel sick—just hold his hand.’
‘Really, I’m fine,’ Ruby said, because a nasty cut and tendons and muscle and all of that didn’t bother her a jot.
It was out there that did.
It wasn’t a fear of seeing people sick, Ruby thought as she snipped Cort’s stitches, and it wasn’t a fear of death because she’d actually enjoyed some agency shifts on the palliative care ward.
It was this, Ruby thought as a buzzer sounded and Cort looked up.
This moment, which arrived at any given time, the intense drama that was constantly played out here, and it actually made her feel physically ill.
‘Do you need me?’ She heard Cort shout in the direction of Resus, ready to drop everything at a moment’s notice, and Ruby sat, staring at the hand she was holding, sweat beading on her forehead. She would hold this hand all night if only it meant that she didn’t have to go out there.
‘Jamelia’s here,’ came Sheila’s voice, and because apparently Cort liked to be kept up to date with everything, her voice came closer to the open suture-room door.
‘We’ve got a head and facial injuries. He arrested at the approach to the hospital and they’re having trouble intubating.’
‘I’ll come.’
‘There’s no need,’ Sheila called. ‘Jamelia’s got it and the anaesthetist is on his way.’ But he wasn’t listening. Already he’d peeled off his gloves and was pulling off his plastic apron. ‘Wait here,’ he called over his shoulder. Given he was halfway through stitching, and the patient couldn’t be left, Ruby had no choice but to sit and wait, which she did for a full ten or fifteen minutes before Cort returned, and if she’d seen him crabby this past week, he was really angry now.
She could feel it as he tied on a new gown and washed his hands.
‘What the hell was that?’ Sheila was less than impressed as she swung into the room. ‘I told you we had it under control.’
‘No. You told me they were having trouble intubating. Jamelia gets nervous …’
‘Well, she’s never going to get any confidence if you keep coming in and taking over.’
‘So, what?’ Cort said. ‘Do we just let her stumble through and kill off a few more brain cells?’
‘Give her a go, would you?’ Sheila responded.
‘No,’ Cort said, and didn’t qualify further, even as Sheila waited, but when Cort remained silent, Sheila turned her frustration back to its regular recipient.
‘What are you doing here, Ruby? I told you! I specifically told you not to leave Resus.’
‘Mr Mason asked me to come and hold an arm.’ Ruby gulped.
‘Someone else could have done that. Now you’ve missed watching an emergency tracheotomy …’
‘Oh.’ Ruby wondered how she could even attempt to sound disappointed at having missed out on seeing that! ‘That’s a shame.’
‘A shame?’ Sheila replied. ‘Are you being sarcastic?’
‘I asked her to come in here.’ Cort intervened as Ruby struggled for a better response. ‘She was sorting out a cupboard, so I thought I’d give her—’
‘I’ll deal with my nurses, thanks, Cort.’ She turned back to Ruby. ‘I’m sick of this, Ruby …’ She shook her head in frustration. ‘I haven’t got time for this right now. I’ll speak to you at your assessment this evening. Bring a coffee,’ she added. ‘We might be there for a while.’
Sheila stormed off, and Cort carried on stitching as Ruby sat there with cheeks flaming. Cort knew that if he didn’t deal with this situation now, he’d forget about it or miss out on seeing Sheila later, and with a small hiss born of frustration and anger he stood again, peeled off another pair of gloves and waded out into the department, leaving Ruby sitting there.
‘It’s not her fault.’ Cort walked into Resus and straight up to Sheila, who was coming off the phone to ICU. ‘What is a student supposed to say when a senior registrar asks her to come and do something for him? She checked with Connor …’
‘Ruby finds excuses all the time, Cort,’ Sheila said. ‘She’d do anything to avoid work and you just gave her the perfect excuse. She searches for them …’
‘She didn’t, though,’ Cort said. ‘I approached her.’
‘Fine,’ Sheila said. ‘I’ll bear it in mind. Right now I’ve got more important things to deal with.’ Cort looked over to the screened area where Sheila was heading, where the team was working solidly. He caught Jamelia’s eye and she came over.
‘Thanks, Cort.’ Jamelia meant it. The hellish intubation had turned into a nightmare just as Cort had arrived and she was incredibly grateful that Cort had taken over when he had.
‘Call for help,’ Cort said, ‘preferably before you really need it.’
Jamelia nodded.
‘So,’ Ruby said when he returned to the suture room. ‘It looks like we’re both in trouble.’
‘I’m not in trouble,’ Cort said. ‘I’m just running out of size 9 gloves.’
He sat down and blew up his hair, because it really was warm in the suture room and he was still so angry he could spit. ‘There’s a big difference,’ he said, ‘between hero and ego. If you take anything from this place—take that.’
Ruby nodded.
‘I told Sheila it wasn’t your fault,’ he added as she snipped the last of the stitches.
‘Thanks,’ Ruby said. ‘Though I doubt it will help.’
He wanted to ask more, wanted to find out why she was in trouble, but he didn’t want to wonder more about her as well. She stayed quiet as he finished the neat row of sutures then he asked her to put on a dressing, thanked her for her help, peeled off the plastic gloves and washed his hands.
‘Cort.’ Jamelia came to the door and it sounded an awful lot as if she’d been crying. ‘Would you mind …?’ She gave a small swallow. ‘Would you mind talking to the relatives for me?’
‘I’ll come and take a look at him first.’ Cort nodded and picked up his jacket just as Sheila bustled in.
‘Jamelia, the relatives really do need to be spoken to ASAP.’
‘I’m going to do it,’ Cort said.
‘You go with Cort.’ Sheila glanced over at Ruby. ‘I’ll finish up in here.’
Ruby would have preferred an emergency tracheotomy, even ten of them, rather than the prospect of sitting with relatives as bad news was delivered, and she fumbled for yet another excuse. ‘Connor said I was to go straight to coffee after doing this.’
‘You couldn’t say no to the senior reg when he asked you to do something for him, I can understand that.’ Sheila fixed her with a stare. ‘So don’t say no to the NUM.’
Ruby nodded and swallowed and glanced up to Cort.
‘Come on,’ he said. ‘I just want to see for myself how he is first.’
They walked into Resus and the anaesthetist gave Cort a full briefing. Ruby stood quietly and looked at the young man for a moment then looked away as Cort examined his eyes and his ears and checked his reflexes for himself. She could hear all the anaesthetist was saying and it sounded a lot less than hopeful.
‘Let’s do this, then.’
They walked down the corridor to the little interview room and just as they got there, Ruby was quite sure that she couldn’t go in.
‘I don’t know what to say,’ she admitted, and Cort turned round briefly.
‘You don’t have to say anything,’ Cort said. ‘Come on.’
And she wanted to turn, wanted to run. For a full three seconds she seriously considered it, except he’d knocked and opened the door and there was a whole family whose eyes turned anxiously towards them. A nurse running off would only terrify them more than they were already.
It was the only reason she forced herself to go in.
CHAPTER TWO
COULD he not give them a little more hope?
Ruby sat in with the family and listened as Cort gave the grim diagnosis.
‘The paramedics were unable to intubate him,’ Cort reiterated.
‘But he was bagged …’ The young man’s sister was a nurse and she was absolutely not having it, refusing to accept the grim diagnosis. ‘He would have got some oxygen. And it was just a couple of minutes from the hospital when he went into respiratory arrest.’
‘Yes,’ Cort said. ‘However, his airway was severely obstructed, so we’re not sure how effective that was. His head injuries are extensive too,’ he added, and the ping-pong match went on as Ruby sat there, the family demanding more hope than Cort would permit.
‘We’re going to move him up to ICU within the next half hour—they’re just preparing for him.’
‘Can we see him first?’
‘Brief ly,’ Cort said, then he warned them all what to expect and Ruby just sat there. He told them it would be a little while till they were able to go in, but someone would be along just as soon as they could to fetch them.
And as Ruby stared at her knees, she tried not to cry as Cort finished the interview.
‘I really am very sorry.’
‘Don’t be sorry,’ the sister answered tartly. ‘Just save him.’
‘I see from his notes that he’s Catholic,’ Cort said. ‘Would you like us to arrange the priest to visit him?’
Ruby thought she might stand and run out of there as the family started really sobbing, but at that point Cort stood.
‘Someone will be in shortly.’
‘Could you not have been a bit gentler with them?’ Ruby asked when they were outside.
‘Why?’ Cort asked. ‘Soon they’re going to be approached to consider organ donation …’
‘Excuse me.’
He watched as she walked quickly to the patient toilet and he thought of waiting till she came out, but it wasn’t his problem. Instead he went and spoke to Connor then gave ICU a ring. He then found Jamelia in tears in his office and dealt with her as kindly as he could. Vomiting nurses and emergency doctors who couldn’t deal with emergencies really weren’t his problem.
He actually felt sorry for Jamelia.
A temporary locum, she had worked mainly in the country and simply wasn’t used to the volume of patients that came through Eastern Beaches’ doors. She was filling big shoes too—Nick, a popular locum, was on his honeymoon, and though their paths had never crossed, Cort knew the energy and fun he had brought to this difficult place. Jamelia told him that after Nick, and with Cort now back, she felt as though she was a disappointment to everyone. So after a long chat with Jamelia he headed to the kitchen, where someone had made a pot of tea. He poured himself a cup, then frowned at the watery fluid and opened the lid of the pot, only to see a pile of leaves and herbs. He made a mug of coffee instead and headed for the staffroom.
‘Why is there a garden growing in the teapot?’ he asked, and sat down.
‘Ruby’s herbs!’ Siobhan, another nurse on duty, rolled her eyes. ‘Just in case your immune system needs boosting.’
‘I’ll stick with caffeine, thanks.’
He glanced over to where Ruby sat, reading a book on her coffee break, her complexion a touch whiter than it had been in the suture room.
‘Where’s Jamelia?’ Doug, the consultant, popped his head in. ‘Hiding in the office again?’
‘Go easy,’ Cort sighed.
‘Someone has to say something,’ Doug said.
‘I just have.’
‘Okay.’ Doug nodded. ‘I’ll leave her for now.’
‘You know what they say …’ Siobhan yawned and stretched out her legs. ‘If you can’t stand the heat …’
And Ruby couldn’t stand this place.
They just spoke about everything and anyone wherever they wanted, just bitched and dissected people, and didn’t care who heard. She couldn’t stand Siobhan and her snide comments, and she really thought she might say something, just might stand up and tell her what an absolute bitch she was, that any normal person would be sitting in an office sobbing when a twenty-three-year-old was going to die. That laughing and joking and eating chocolate and watching television as the priest walked past the staffroom was bizarre behaviour.
‘Ruby.’ It was Sheila who popped her head round the door now. ‘Are you finished your break?’
‘Yes.’ She closed the book she had seemed so focused on, except she had never turned a page, Cort realised as she stood up.
‘Come into my office then—bring a drink if you want to.’
‘Sure.’
He could see two spots of red on the apple of her cheeks, could see the effort behind her bright smile as a couple of staff offered their best wishes as she headed out of the room, then Siobhan called out to her as she reached the door.
‘Ruby, can you empty out the teapot when you use it?’ Siobhan said.
‘Sure.’
‘Only it’s annoying,’ Siobhan said. ‘Perhaps you could bring in your own teapot?’
Cort watched the set of her shoulders, saw her turn and look over at Siobhan, and for a second she looked as if she was about to say something less than pleasant, but instead she gave that wide smile. ‘Fine,’ Ruby said, and headed off for her assessment.
‘Love to be a fly on the wall!’ Siobhan smirked. ‘Sheila’s going to rip her in two.’
Someone else sniggered and Cort just sat there.
‘What is it with her bloody herbs?’ Siobhan just would not let up and Cort was about to tell her to do just that, but he knew what would happen if he did—there’d be rumours then that he was sticking up for a certain nurse, that he fancied her.
But Siobhan was still banging on and his mood was less than pleasant.
‘Her immune system probably needs all the help it can get in this place,’ Cort said as he stood up and headed out of the staffroom. ‘Given how toxic this place can be at times.’
CHAPTER THREE
THEY could fail her.
Ruby tried not to think about it as she stalled the car coming out of the staff car park. There were new boom gates and the car was so low that, as she leant out of the window to swipe her ID card, it stalled and, grinding the gears in the shiny silver sports car all the way home she wished, not for the first time, that her brother had bought an automatic.
Normally she walked or took the bus to work, but it was Saturday and she’d promised her housemates to get home as soon as she could and meet them at the Stat Bar, so had taken the car. But as she pulled into Hill Street, the temptation to change her mind and forgo the rapid change of clothes and mad dash out was almost overwhelming—a noisy bar was the last place she wanted to be tonight.
Far preferable would it be to curl up on the sofa and just hide, but she’d had two excited texts from Tilly already, urging her to get there ASAP because she had some wonderful news.
Ruby let herself into the house and could smell the perfume her housemates had left behind on their way out. There was a bottle of wine opened on the kitchen table and a box of chocolates too. How much nicer it would be to pour a glass of wine and sit in the darkness alone with chocolate than head out there, but then they’d ring her, Ruby realised, and as if to prove the point her mobile shrilled.
‘Where are you?’ Tilly demanded.
She was about to say that she was going to give it a miss, but could not face the barrage of questions. ‘I’m just getting changed.’
‘Well, hurry. I’ll look out for you.’
Ruby trudged up the stairs, had a rapid shower then tried to work out what to wear—nothing in her wardrobe, or over the chair, or on the floor, matched her mood.
And it wasn’t just what Sheila had said that was upsetting her. As she’d headed away from her hellish shift and a very prolonged assessment, she’d passed the young man’s family, comforting each other outside the hospital—and worse, far worse, the daughter had come over and thanked her.
For what? Ruby had wanted to ask, because she’d done absolutely nothing.
‘You were lovely with Mum,’ the daughter had said, and only then had Ruby recalled that when Cort had asked them about the priest she’d found herself holding the woman’s hand.
Their grief was so palpable, so thick and real that it seemed to have followed her home, and despite the shower it felt as if it had seeped into her skin.
‘Come on, Ruby,’ she told herself. She turned on some music and danced around the room for a moment, doing all she could to raise her spirits.
And it worked a bit because she selected a nice cream skirt and a backless halter-neck top, pulled on all her silver bangles and put big silver earrings on. Looking in the mirror, Ruby decided that with a nice dash of lipstick she could pass as happy.
She didn’t feel quite so brave, though, as she walked down Hill Street, turned the corner and walked past the New-Age shop she had worked in for two years after finishing school. She’d been happy then, if a little restless. Her desk had been stuffed with nursing brochures and forms and she had tried to pluck up the courage to apply to study nursing, telling herself she could do it, that even if didn’t appeal, she could get through her general training and then go on to work in mental health.
It would seem she’d been wrong.
She could hear the noise and laughter from the beer garden, knew her friends were wondering where she had got to, and she stood outside for a moment and pretended to read a text on her phone. She looked out at Coogee Beach and longed to walk there in the darkness and gather her thoughts.
‘Ruby!’ Tilly, her housemate, caught her just as her decision to wander was made. ‘Finally you’re here!’ Tilly said, and then frowned. ‘Are you okay?’ Tilly always looked out for her, for all the girls really. Ruby wondered whether she should just come out and say that Sheila had warned her that unless things improved she was going to have to repeat her Emergency rotation, except Ruby remembered that Tilly had news of her own and was desperate to tell her friend.
‘I’m fine. So what’s your news?’
Tilly’s face spread into a smile. She was a redhead too, but there the similarities ended. Her hair was lighter and much curlier than Ruby’s and Tilly was taller and a calmer, more centred person. Also unlike Ruby, she was totally in love with her work. ‘I delivered an unexpected breech today. Ruby, it was brilliant, the best feeling ever.’ Tilly was a newly qualified midwife and babies, mothers, bonding, skin to skin were absolutely her passion. Even if Ruby could think of nothing more terrifying than delivering a breech baby, she knew this was food for Tilly’s soul.
‘That’s brilliant.’ Ruby didn’t force her smile and hug. She was genuinely thrilled for Tilly.
‘I just saw this little bottom …’ Tilly gushed. ‘I called for help but as quickly as that he just unfolded, his little legs and hips came out and he just hung there. Mum was amazing. I mean just amazing …’
Ruby stood and listened as Tilly gave her the first of no doubt many detailed accounts of how the senior midwife had let her finish the job, how the doctor had arrived just as the delivery was complete.
‘I’m talking too much,’ Tilly said.
‘You’re not!’
‘Come on,’ Tilly said. ‘Your mob are here too.’
‘My mob?’ Ruby asked as they walked in. ‘You’re my mob!’
‘There are loads from Emergency here.’
God, that was all she needed. Half of Ruby’s problem with Emergency was that she didn’t like the staff. Okay, it was probably an eighth of her problem, but they were just so confident, so cliquey, and so bloody bitchy as well, and close proximity to them was so not needed tonight.
Ruby walked in and straight over to her friends, deliberately pretending not to even see the rowdy Emergency crowd and hoping that they wouldn’t see her. Not that there was much chance of that. With her long auburn hair she always stood out, but they’d hardly be wanting a student nurse to join them, she consoled herself.
‘Here she is!’ Jess, another housemate, had already bought her a beer and Ruby took a sip as Jess asked how her shift had gone.
‘Long,’ Ruby said, and she did what she always did and smiled, because she was a happy person, a positive, outgoing, slightly flaky person—it was just Emergency that affected her so much. ‘Where’s Ellie?’
‘Chatting up “the one”.’ Jess grinned and nodded over to the bar, where Ellie was sitting on some guy’s lap, the pair earnestly talking, utterly engrossed and oblivious to everyone around them. Ruby laughed, because for the next few weeks he would be all they heard about. Ellie, determined to find her life partner and get the family she craved, drifted happily from boyfriend to boyfriend in her quest for ‘the one’, but as Ruby turned back to Jess and Tilly, her eyes drifted to the emergency table, and inadvertently she caught Connor’s eye.
‘Ruby!’ Connor waved for her to come over and she was about to pretend she hadn’t noticed but knew it would be rude, so she beamed in his direction and gave a wave. ‘I’ll just be two minutes,’ she said to her friends. ‘Any longer and you have to come and rescue me.’
‘Where did you get to at work?’ Connor asked as she came over. ‘I never saw you after supper. I thought you were down to work with me in Resus?’
‘My assessment took a bit longer than expected,’ Ruby answered.
‘Yeah,’ Connor joked, ‘you’ve always got an excuse.’ He was just chatting and joking, he certainly wasn’t there to talk about work, or tell her off, except inadvertently he had echoed Sheila’s words. It seemed to have been noticed that any patient that needed to be taken to the ward, Ruby put her hand up. Any stores or laundry that needed to be put away, Ruby was already onto it and, yes, people had noticed.
‘So?’ Connor asked. ‘How was it?’
‘How was what?’ Ruby said, biting into her lemon.
‘Your assessment?’
‘Oh, you know …’ She forced a smile and rolled her eyes. ‘Must try harder.’
Her face was burning, but she certainly wasn’t going to share with Connor all that had been said and stupidly she felt as if she was going to start crying. God, Ruby thought, she should have had that walk on the beach before she’d come in. Her eyes darted for escape, for a reason to excuse herself, and suddenly there he was. Cort Mason was back in her line of vision. This time, though, his tie was loosened and he was sitting next to a doctor she vaguely recognised. He gave her a very brief nod, or did he? Ruby couldn’t be sure, and then he turned back to his conversation but, not that she could have known it, his mind was on her.
It had been since she’d walked into the bar and perhaps, Cort admitted to himself, for a while before that.
‘Hey, Ruby!’ He pretended not to be looking, except his eyes roamed the bar and his ears were certainly not on Geoff’s conversation as Ruby’s friend came over. ‘We’re supposed to be celebrating with Tilly …’
‘Sorry, Jess!’ Ruby smiled, glad they’d remembered to rescue her! ‘Just coming … See you, Connor.’ She glanced over to the table but everyone was busy with conversations of their own, but she did, Cort noticed, make an effort. ‘Catch you guys.’ She gave a brief unreturned wave that had the light reflecting off all her silver bracelets and then as she drifted off he saw her back and there was a lot of back because she was wearing a halter neck that showed her white shoulders and way down her spine. She was also wearing a small skirt and flat sandals and for the fist time in a very long time Cort noticed everything. Then he glanced across the table and saw Siobhan’s eyes on him, watching him watching Ruby, and Cort knew to be more careful than that. So very deliberately he didn’t look out for her again after that. Instead, he chatted to Geoff and the rest of the table, yet she was there in the background, laughing and happy, a blaze of colour in the middle of the bar. Though he tried not to notice, he still did, so much so that he was aware the minute she left.
‘Leaving?’ Siobhan asked as he drained his drink.
‘No,’ Cort said, even though it had been his intention. ‘Just getting another.’
And he headed for the bar rather than for home, but though still packed, the Stat Bar felt empty now. Well, not empty, Cort thought as he squeezed his way back to the table, it just felt pointless, he decided as he sat down to wait it out.
‘We’re going to Adam’s,’ Geoff said a little while later, when Cort really was about to head for home. ‘Are you coming?’
‘Adam?’ Cort asked.
‘Adam Carmichael.’
‘Oh!’ He’d worked with Adam in the past and even if they kept only loosely in touch as Cort commuted between Melbourne and Sydney and Adam roamed the globe, working for Operation New Faces, Cort considered him a friend. ‘Is he back?’
Geoff didn’t answer. Everyone was drifting off and Cort was about to do the same, but that morning, before he’d pulled on the brown suit and chosen a lighter tie, he’d walked along a beach just a couple of suburbs from here and he’d made a promise, not to his sister, but to Beth, to say yes.
To live this life.
Except, now that he was starting to, Cort so did not want to be doing this.
One drink and he’d be out of there, Cort decided as they turned into Hill Street.
It was a nice house, Cort thought as Geoff opened the creaking gate. Sure, it needed a bit of work, but it was a lovely older building and just a two-minute walk from the beach. Who cared if it was in need of a little TLC?
There was a small decked area and the front door was open. Suddenly the music was turned on and wafted out to greet them, and as he walked in through the hall Cort wanted to turn around and walk back out, because there was a dangerous vision walking towards him.
She looked the same from the waist up as she had in the pub, though instead of a beer she was holding a glass of milk and a bag of pistachio nuts and her auburn, or rather titian, hair was now loosely clipped up.
He noticed, he really noticed, because if he didn’t then his eyes would flick down and he really didn’t want to notice that her sandals and skirt were off, that she was wearing lilac boy pants and that there was a gap between the top of them and her top, which showed a soft, pale stomach.
She’d been crying—her eyes were red and the tip of her nose was too.
‘Are you okay?’ her friend asked.
‘I’m fine, Tilly, just watching a sad movie. I didn’t realise there’d be a home invasion tonight—I’ll go and get dressed.’
She slipped past him and up the stairs and Cort headed through to the lounge—a large area with lots of sofas and magazines and a little pile of tissues. Emergency registrars sometimes made good detectives, because for reasons that shouldn’t matter to him, as someone handed him a beer, Cort put his hand on the turned-off television and confirmed what he suspected—it was cold.
And why should it even matter to him that Ruby was sitting at home crying Cort would rather not explore, he had more than enough troubles of his own to be dealing with.
No, he didn’t, Cort told himself, at least, not any more.
‘Where’s Adam?’ Cort asked Ruby’s friend.
‘He’s away.’ She smiled. ‘He’s hardly ever here …’ She must have seen him frown, and she took a moment to explain. ‘I’m Tilly, there’s Jess.’ She pointed to a blonde and then to another one. ‘And that’s Ellie.’
‘And …’ Cort started and then stopped, because what business of his was it if there had been a redhead in her underwear in their lounge just a few moments ago?
‘Oh.’ Tilly smiled. ‘There’s also Ruby—she’s the one who’s just gone to get changed. We rent the house from Adam.’
He was at a student nurses’ party.
He so did not need this.
Okay, they weren’t all students. Tilly was telling him now that she was a graduate midwife and that she’d had her first breech today, and as he tried to stop his eyes from glazing over as she went into detail, Cort decided to excuse himself and leave just the second that he could—he’d done enough ‘must get out more’ for one night.
He was just about to slip away unnoticed when Ruby came downstairs.
Whatever had been upsetting her had clearly been taken care of because there was no evidence of tears and she was back to happy now. She turned up the music and started dancing, and Cort was determined to leave, except she really was lovely to watch, all sort of loose limbed and free, and what’s more she was dancing her way over to him.
‘You look how I feel,’ Ruby said, because if ever someone didn’t want to be there it was Cort Mason. He belonged in that suit, Ruby had decided before their encounter today. He belonged behind a stethoscope, or peering down his nose at minions, except he hadn’t been like that today and she’d revised her judgement. Though she loathed Emergency and most of the staff that came with it, Cort wasn’t like the others, he was just aloof.
‘You look like I never would,’ Cort said in return, and he wasn’t sure if that made sense, but even without the hellish last five years, even a decade ago, when he had belonged at student parties, he’d been the boring one. He would never stand in a room and dance alone with others watching, had never been as free as she appeared tonight. She must have caught his words because she smiled up at him.
‘Takes practice,’ Ruby said, and she picked up one of the many little bowls that Tilly was dotting about the place and offered it to him. He should have just said no, should have made no comment, or just taken a handful, but he screwed his nose up at the Bombay mix, and maybe her attitude was somehow catching because a teeny, tiny corner of it seemed to have worked its way over to him.
‘I’d rather have some pistachios,’ Cort said, which told her he’d noticed her when he’d walked in.
‘Ah, no.’ Ruby shook her head. ‘They’re not to be put out for the general public, you get the Bombay mix. I’ve hidden my pistachios.’
‘Sensible girl,’ Cort said, and he wanted to pause time for a moment, have a little conversation with himself to ask himself if he was flirting. But he wasn’t, he quickly told himself, because, well, he just didn’t do that and certainly not with student nurses.
‘Not generally.’
‘Sorry?’ He was too busy thinking to keep track of the conversation.
‘I’m not generally considered sensible.’
‘So why?’ Cort asked, when really he shouldn’t, when really he should just leave. ‘Do you feel how I look?’
‘You first,’ Ruby said. ‘Why do you look like you’re about to head off?’
Cort didn’t answer.
‘Why should I tell you what’s upsetting me, only to have you leave five minutes later?’
‘Fair enough,’ Cort said, because what right did he have to ask her what was on her mind when soon he’d be out of there? Anyway, he knew she was in trouble with work, but would that really matter to a flighty little thing like her?
‘How was your holiday?’ It was Ruby’s turn to probe, but she’d been in Emergency for four weeks now and he’d just been there for only one of them.
‘It wasn’t really a holiday,’ Cort said.
‘Oh.’
‘Family.’ Cort certainly wasn’t about to tell her the truth. Hardly anyone at work knew, just his direct boss and a couple of people in Admin, but he had always been private and in this he was intensely so, not just for his sake but for Beth’s.
There really wasn’t that much to talk about anyway. It didn’t feel quite right that he was even here, except he was and he asked her something now about her family, if she was local, but didn’t quite catch her answer and had to lower his head a bit to hear.
‘At Whale Beach,’ Ruby said. ‘About an hour or so from here.’
And he could have lifted his head then—after all, he’d heard now what she had said—except he was terribly aware of the sensation of her face close to his, just as he had been in the suture room.
Something tightened inside Ruby as she inhaled the scent of his hair again, and she was sure, quite, quite sure that if she just stayed still, if she did not move, if she could somehow now not breathe, whatever was in the air between them would turn his mouth those few inches to hers—and she wanted it to.
‘I think I should go.’ Strange that he didn’t lift his head, strange that still he lingered.
‘Hey, Cort …’ He heard his name and turned to see that another mob from Emergency was arriving and he couldn’t believe how close he’d come, how very careless he had almost been, especially as there was motor-mouth Siobhan too, so for Ruby’s sake he was relieved when she quickly excused herself and slipped away.
Ruby, too, had seen them arriving and a busman’s holiday she did not need, so as they blocked the stairs, talking, Ruby stepped out onto the veranda, her heart hammering just a little bit harder than normal, her lips regretting the absence of Cort’s, and her problems, which she’d momentarily escaped from, caught up with her all over again. She could hear the noise and the throb of the party and decided she would pop over next door tomorrow morning just to check that Mrs. Bennett wasn’t upset about the party. The old lady insisted she didn’t mind a bit, but it was always nice to have a reason to pop over.
Maybe she could talk to her a little, Ruby mused. Mrs. Bennett was so lovely and wise, except … Ruby closed her eyes … nothing any one might say could actually change things. Quite simply, she was terrified to go back to work and terrified of failing too. Sheila’s ominous warning replayed in her mind for perhaps the two hundred and fifty-second time that night.
‘It’s a pass or fail unit, Ruby.’ Sheila was immutable. ‘If you don’t pass, you’ll have to repeat.’
Six more weeks of Emergency was something she could not do. Six more shifts, six more hours, six more minutes was bad enough, but six more weeks was nigh on impossible.
She thought about telling her friends, but she was so embarrassed. They all seemed to be breezing through. Tilly just loved midwifery and Ellie and Jess were loving their studies and placements too. How could she explain that she could very easily chuck it in this minute rather than face going back there tomorrow, let alone having to repeat?
She glanced down towards the beach and thought of the little shop she had worked in for a couple of years, selling jewellery and crystals and candles, and how much safer that had been, yet it hadn’t been quite enough.
She wanted so desperately to do mental health, wanted just to scrape through her emergency rotation so she could go on and study what she truly loved.
And then she saw it.
Hope hung in the sky in the shape of a new moon and Ruby smiled in relief.
‘Please.’ She made her wish. ‘Please get me through A and E. Please find a way for me to get through it.’
Cort walked out and found her standing talking to the sky and not remotely embarrassed at being caught.
‘I was just making my new-moon wishes.’
‘As you do,’ was Cort’s rather dry response, because it would never even have entered his head that as he’d walked along his own beach, just that very morning, he’d made, if not a wish, a promise. ‘‘Night, then. I’m off.’
He walked down the path and opened a squeaking gate and had every intention of heading down Hill Street and seeing if there was a taxi—it was his absolute intention, but he found himself turning around. ‘What did you wish for?’
‘You’re not supposed to tell anyone,’ Ruby explained, ‘or it won’t happen …’ She saw his brief nod, knew he would turn to go again, but she also knew that she didn’t want him to. ‘It was a sensible wish, though.’
‘Glad to hear it.’
Keep walking, he told himself, and his legs obeyed, just not in the direction he had intended because he was walking towards her.
‘Why were you crying when we came in?’
‘I wasn’t.’ Instantly she was defensive.
‘Ruby?’
‘Okay—why wouldn’t I be crying? A twenty-three-year-old is almost certainly going to lose his life … he’s my age.’
Cort nodded, because he knew how confronting that could be. Ruby was right, she had every reason to be sitting alone in tears over a patient. ‘Talk to people at work,’ Cort suggested. ‘We’ve got a good team—let them know …’ He saw her eyes shutter, saw her close off, so he decided there was nothing further to be said. She had given him a reason, he’d in turn given advice, except something told him there was more to it than just that.
‘What about Sheila?’ He saw her shrug. ‘Your assessment?’
All he got was silence and he was determined not to break it, just stood till after perhaps a full minute finally she responded.
‘She wants to see an improvement.’
‘In what area?’ Cort asked, and this time he gave in and broke the ensuing silence. ‘How much longer have you got in A and E?’
‘Two weeks. Well, just tomorrow and Monday, then I’m off for a while and back for three nights the following Monday.’
‘And then?’
‘Then I’m finished,’ Ruby said. ‘Then I start, I suppose—I want to be a mental health nurse.’ As he opened his mouth, she got in first. ‘I know, I know, the staff are as mad as the patients—’ she smiled as she said it ‘—so I’ll fit right in. Really, I’m just biding my time …’
‘Biding your time doesn’t work in A and E,’ Cort said. ‘And Sheila’s tough, but she’s good—listen to her.’
‘I will.’
‘Are you going back in?’ He didn’t like leaving her, didn’t understand why she would rather stand alone in the dark than join her friends.
‘I might just stay out here for a while.’ She thought of Siobhan and Connor and thought of going back in and doing the happy-clappy but she really couldn’t face it. ‘I might just go to bed.’
‘You’re not going to get much sleep with that noise.’
‘It’s not the noise that’ll disturb me. I’ll have Tilly coming up to find out what’s wrong, then Ellie then Jess. It’s just easier to …’ She gave another shrug. ‘I might go for a walk on the beach.’
‘Now, that really would be stupid—walking alone …’
‘Come with me, then.’ He could see the white of her teeth as she spoke, could hear the waves in the background, and for a moment he actually considered it, a bizarre moment because Cort didn’t do midnight walks. Well, he did, but not with company, except he did like talking to her.
‘I don’t think that’s a very good idea.’
‘I think it’s a very good idea,’ Ruby said, because he’d stepped a little bit closer and she didn’t want him to go. Cort had been the only solace in a day that had been horrible, and even if a while ago she had wanted to be alone, it was far, far nicer being here with him. ‘I like walking on the beach.’
‘I meant …’ Cort hesitated, ‘I meant you and me …’ He tried to change what he’d said, but only made matters worse. ‘Us,’ he attempted, and Ruby smiled.
‘As I said …’ She looked at his tie which was grey in the darkness, but which she knew was really a lovely lilac, and she did what she had wanted to do in the suture room—she put her hand up and felt the cool silk. She wanted him to go with her, wanted a little more of the peace she had found with him today. ‘I think it’s a very good idea.’
Cort wanted to go with her too, though not necessarily to the beach.
He didn’t do this type of thing.
He didn’t find himself at student nurse parties, neither did he find himself in situations such as this one because he didn’t put himself there.
He liked it now that he was, though.
Liked it a lot because the next thing he knew he was kissing her.
It was the nicest thing. It really was a lovely kiss. He sort of bent down and caught her, not completely by surprise because she’d felt his presence all night, or had it been before that? Ruby thought as his mouth roamed hers.
She’d never kissed anyone in a suit.
Never kissed anyone as lovely before, come to think of it.
She couldn’t hear the music from the house now, wasn’t aware of anything except the lovely circle his arms created around them and what was happening in the centre. He had a hand on the wall and one in her hair over her neck, and his kiss was measured and deep like its owner, but as his tongue met hers, as she tasted his breath, there was more passion in his kiss than she’d ever anticipated, more passion than she’d ever tasted, and that it came from Cort made it all the more wild, like a secret only she was privy to. He pulled her head closer just a fraction and his mouth welcomed her a whole lot more and Ruby wanted to climb up his chest to wrap herself around him. She wanted his tie off, she wanted his shirt off, she wanted the party to disappear … she wanted more.
He pulled back just a fraction, and if their mouths weren’t touching any more, they still thrummed. He looked down, not at a student nurse and a whole set of problems but into velvet-brown eyes and felt rare intimacy. It wasn’t just lust or a sudden urge. It was, quite simply, just nice to feel, and he hadn’t felt anything for so very long now—yet he was able to with her.
‘Do you want a nut?’ He could taste her words, could feel them because as she spoke her lips dusted his.
And in turn Ruby felt rather than saw him smile, felt his lips spread, and, yes, she would kiss them again in a moment, just not here. He was like her beloved pistachios, she decided, all brittle and hard but so readily cracked and such a reward to get to the delicious centre.
Cort was used to making rapid decisions—it was what he did for a living after all—but always his decisions were measured, tempered by outcomes and responsibilities. They just weren’t tonight.
‘I want you,’ Cort said.
Which he did.
It was as simple as that.
CHAPTER FOUR
SHE went in first and checked that the coast was clear. It was, well, sort of. There was a couple necking in the hall, but the rest were all gathered in the lounge room, so she waved him in and up the stairs and they bolted along the hall.
‘Won’t they all come up?’ Cort asked as they stepped into her bedroom. ‘To see how you are?’
‘No,’ Ruby said, and grabbed a scarf and tied it onto the handle. ‘That means don’t disturb …’
He wanted to kiss her again, wanted to see her, but as his hand groped for the light switch she stopped him.
‘Don’t,’ Ruby said. ‘Don’t break it.’
‘Break what?’
‘Just … whatever it is that we’ve got.’
He stood a touch unsure as she lit a candle in the corner and then another and another till the room was bathed in dancing fingers of orange and white. Then she hauled over a chair and, just to be sure, wedged it against the door handle.
It was a room called Ruby. There were drapes, curtains, cushions, candles and crystals, all things that usually did not interest him.
There was the beat of the music and noises from downstairs and he was too old, too jaded, too bitter for someone so light and so lovely, but she’d been crying, he reminded himself as she turned to him.
He was going to leave, Ruby knew that. He was going to change his mind, but he could change it in the morning, because she wanted him tonight.
She wanted him in a way she had never wanted someone before. It was an imperative, a knowledge that this was their only chance, and she was incredibly bold in a way she wasn’t usually. She took him by the hand and to a bed that was really rather small. She felt his hesitation and tension and she wanted it gone so she kissed him, and in that moment she welcomed him back in an instant, because out went trouble as he kissed her onto the bed and they tumbled into paradise.
Tongues and taste and the lovely wedge of his body blew cares away as he lay sort of over and beside her—backed into a corner in possibly the nicest of ways. She could feel the belt of his suit against her stomach, feel the roaming of his hands over her waist then sliding to her bottom then almost apologetically heading back to her waist. She could feel him holding back when he didn’t want to.
When she didn’t want him to.
She kissed his chin and up his cheek, moved his hand back to her bottom and heard the sigh of his breath, and she pressed just a little into him and kissed his eyes and his ears, and it was like tripping a switch, because suddenly he was on top of her, his mouth hungry and urgent. He kissed her throat and then up to her mouth and her body pressed into him some more, and then she could climb up and wrap herself around him as she had wanted to before, but she pulled back his head, wanted to see him again, to hear him again, before she kissed him again.
‘Why,’ she whispered, ‘are you always so crabby?’
‘Because I’m miserable?’ He stopped and smiled down at her.
‘But you’re not.’
‘I am,’ he insisted. ‘I really am.’
‘You’re not tonight,’ Ruby said, and he had to agree with her.
‘No. I’m not tonight.’
He wanted her skirt off, wanted to see her as she had been when he’d walked into the house, but it would seem Ruby had rules.
‘I’m not making love to a man in a suit—in a brown suit.’
‘Taupe.’ Cort smiled, not even a little smile but a full, wide smile that she had never before seen, and Ruby caught her breath because it completely changed him. She went for his tie, then changed her mind.
‘You do it,’ she said.
She wriggled from under him and climbed off the bed and left him lying there. She looked down at him and he undid his tie, but that was as far as he went.
‘You want it off …’ Cort said. ‘Come and get it.’
So she did, pulling it off before she went for his jacket next.
‘Shoes,’ he said, and she took off one. ‘Both of them.’
‘You’ve got more clothes than me.’
Wasn’t he supposed to be riddled with guilt, or aching with regret? Not sitting up just to get her to remove another sandal, which she did.
‘Shirt,’ Ruby said, and he obliged.
‘Skirt,’ Cort said, and so too did she.
She wanted to go over to the bed and climb onto him, she couldn’t have ever guessed just how wanton she could be, but he rewarded her not with this game but with his smile, with a Cort Mason she would never have guessed was there beneath the austere exterior. She liked standing before him, drunk on lust and shivering with want, teasing each other and making each other wait.
‘Belt,’ said Ruby.
‘Hardly fair on you,’ Cort said, because she was down to her halter and panties and he still had socks and shoes and trousers and belt, but Ruby didn’t seem to mind. In fact, she stopped him when he magnanimously went to undo his zipper.
‘Just the belt will do,’ Ruby said, and as with his tie he merely loosened it.
‘Take it off, then.’
Which meant she got to touch him. Slowly, very slowly she pulled loose the belt and she wanted to dive onto him then, but Cort reminded her it was her turn. She slid her top up slowly and she had to close her eyes at one point because, so close to him, she wanted to bend towards his mouth, wanted to climb into bed and be with him, but instead she took off her top and it was bizarre but she didn’t feel shy or stupid. Instead, with Cort she felt free.
She stared down and saw the lust and approval in the eyes that caressed her skin. Then she stared down at herself and saw two very small breasts that she now rather liked, because how could she not when Cort craved them so much that he reached out his hand and stroked one slowly, till she blew out a held breath and thought she’d sink to her knees.
‘I’ll help with your shoes.’
She bent over him and as he stroked her breast she took off his shoes and socks, and then she kissed his toes.
And he lay there about to pull away because how could he let her? Except her tongue was so sure.
Would he regret this?
He asked himself once as she stood again and then he answered, never, because this wasn’t sad or guilt ridden. There was no one else in his head but Ruby, nothing else but him and her.
He could never have thought it would be so magical.
That it could ever be so pure and good again.
That they would have their own rules and their own ways.
He watched her kneel and rummage in a drawer and come out with pistachios.
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Carol Marinelli
Тип: электронная книга
Жанр: Современные любовные романы
Язык: на английском языке
Издательство: HarperCollins
Дата публикации: 16.04.2024
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О книге: It’s their last summer of being single! Off duty, these three nurses, and one midwife, are young, free and fabulous – for the moment…Ruby’s Diary:However much I might not be loving my rotation in A&E, there is one perk that makes my job more fun… Flirting with Senior Registrar Cort Mason is definitely a distraction, but a moonlit walk on the beach can’t be a good idea…and as for kissing him? Well, that’s deliciously dangerous!