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Baby in a Million
Rebecca Winters


The BIG EventCord and Ashley McKnight are proud to announce the birth of their son Cabe. Weight: nine pounds, four ounces Height: twenty-three inches long…The doctors had told Cord McKnight he would never father a child. The doctors has been wrong. For on his last night with Ashley, a miracle had occurred–a million-to-one chance…. And now it seemed his estranged wife was nine months pregnant!Only, Ashley had walked out on Cord for good reason. She had never doubted that Cord would make a perfect father–it was his skills as a husband she'd begun to doubt. All the evidence suggested that he was having an affair. But Cord was determined to hold on to his newfound family, even if it meant holding out for another miracle–getting his wife back!One special occasion–that changed your life, forever!







Excitement permeated the atmosphere (#uc30c8ab0-e543-5927-9185-8252e4504227)Letter to Reader (#u942ace8d-e992-5bde-8b8d-ad226a29f186)Title Page (#ua4c5338c-868f-513e-b6be-3987445ae675)CHAPTER ONE (#ubf1e47dd-e690-5161-b4f2-cb1f16c00926)CHAPTER TWO (#uae320c22-52d0-5fa4-bbf2-514ef79ed1c8)CHAPTER THREE (#u32934cbc-fcfe-56c5-bb6f-3fefa282480a)CHAPTER FOUR (#litres_trial_promo)CHAPTER FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)EPILOGUE (#litres_trial_promo)Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)


Excitement permeated the atmosphere

“Your son is twenty-three inches long and weighs in at nine pounds, four ounces. Being born three weeks early doesn’t seem to have fazed this big guy at all.”

Ashley had thought she knew what happiness was until her wiggly baby, who made newborn noises, was wrapped in a blanket and placed in the crook of her arm.

Her eyes raced from the curly dark hair to each adorable feature. “Cabe.” She spoke to her little boy. “We’re here. Your mommy and daddy are right here.”

Cord’s masked face was right next to hers. “We are, son.”


Dear Reader,

Welcome to






Everyone has special occasions in their life—times of celebration and excitement. Maybe it’s a romantic event, an engagement or a wedding—or perhaps a wonderful family occasion, such as the birth of a baby. Or even a personal milestone—a thirtieth or fortieth birthday!

These are all important times in our lives and in THE BIG EVENT! you can see how different couples react to these events. Whatever the occasion, romance and drama are guaranteed!

We’ll be featuring one book each month from May to August 1998, bringing you terrific stories from some of your favorite authors. And, to make this miniseries extra special, The Big Event! will also appear in the Harlequin Presents


series.

We kick off this month with Rebecca Winters’s wonderful romance Baby in a Million. Look out next month for Beresford’s Bride by Margaret Way.

Happy Reading!






P.S. Follow the series into our Presents line in September with Kathryn Ross’s Bride for a Year.




Baby In A Million

Rebecca Winters







www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)


CHAPTER ONE

WHEN the phone rang, Ashley McKnight got up clumsily from the kitchen table. She’d been folding clothes which had just come out of the dryer and hurried to answer it, afraid it might waken Mrs. Bromwell who had finally fallen asleep, hopefully until morning.

Though Ashley turned off the elderly woman’s phone every night, the second extension in the kitchen lay on the other side of the wall of the comfortable apartment. Any noise past ten o‘clock could disturb her because she suffered from crippling arthritis and the medicine didn’t always blot out the pain. But she was such a dear soul, she hardly ever complained.

The only people who would phone her this late would be Mrs. Bromwell’s family to see how their mother was doing, and how Ashley was faring. They had a replacement for Ashley, realizing that if she went into early labor, she’d have to leave their mother on a moment’s notice.

But her doctor expected her to go full term, which meant she had four more weeks until the baby was due—four weeks to earn a little more money. Besides needing to outfit a layette, she had attorney fees to pay. She’d signed the papers. Now it was Cord’s turn to sign so that their divorce would be final right away.

Out of habit she lifted a hand to smooth the hair from her ear, still forgetting that she’d had the long, thick, molasses-colored mane cut off last month. Her new short, stylish wedge-cut felt cool and would be much easier to manage with the approach of the baby and the hot summer coming on.

“Hello?” she said quietly.

“Ashley—”

Her sudden intake of breath robbed her of speech. She hadn’t heard that deep voice in eight months, hadn’t seen her husband in all that time.

Since she’d sworn her attorney to secrecy, the only way Cord could have found out where she was living and working was through Greg Ferris, Cord’s best friend, the owner of an exclusive sporting goods company in Salt Lake where she’d done a lot of the accounting until the time she’d left her husband.

She’d thought Greg was her best friend, too! He’d promised not to tell Cord where she lived, or that she was pregnant. That kind of news she intended to keep from her husband until after the baby was born and she had settled elsewhere.

After several years of trying to conceive, they’d gone in for tests and had found out Cord had a problem which made it almost impossible for them to have children.

When she’d left his house for good, it would never have occurred to her to think she was pregnant. Not only because of the medical reasons, but because the last, disastrous six months of their hurtful marriage had been spent in separate bedrooms.

From the first moment Ashley had been introduced to Sheila, Cord’s stepmother, the other woman had made subtle remarks out of Cord’s hearing which insinuated that she and Cord had enjoyed a romantic relationship before her marriage to his father—that they still desired each other.

Confused and appalled by the revelation, Ashley had tried to put the whole thing out of her mind. For the most part she had succeeded.

She and Cord couldn’t travel down from the Teton Mountains of Wyoming to Salt Lake very often. As a park ranger, he didn’t take that much time off from his work to get away. But when he could arrange it—mostly so they could visit Greg and his wife in Salt Lake—they only stopped off to see Cord’s father and stepmother for short periods of time, whether it be at the office or at the house.

Somehow Sheila always managed to say something in private to Ashley which alluded to Sheila’s past relationship with Cord. But it wasn’t until the death of Cord’s father that Sheila grew bolder and played on Ashley’s doubts about Cord’s interest in his stepmother.

As time went on, and Ashley’s marriage to Cord began to disintegrate because of insurmountable problems, the doubts grew until Ashley feared that Sheila was telling the truth.

Only once, the night before Ashley had moved out of the house, had Cord come to her, trying to persuade her to believe in him, to stay with him, telling her that Sheila meant less than nothing to him, that it was Ashley he loved.

Like a fool she’d succumbed to that moment because it had been such a long time since they’d been together, and she was still so desperately in love with him.

When morning dawned and she found herself alone in the bed, she went to his room in search of him, wanting with all her heart to believe that he’d meant what he’d said.

Oh, she found him all right. Sheila was there, of course. Ashley’s worst fears had been realized.

After a night of such incredible passion, the pain of his betrayal with his father’s widow had torn her heart to pieces. In agony, Ashley had fled from him with her bags, never dreaming he’d made her pregnant.

If he knew she was carrying his child, he might delay the divorce, escalating attorney costs. He’d insist on taking care of her. He’d be relentless. It was something she wouldn’t be able to tolerate, not when it was excruciatingly painful to be around him.

Just hearing his voice again set her heart thudding with sickening force. Well into the final stages, the pregnancy made her short-winded anyway. But to know that the man she’d loved to the exclusion of all else—despite everything she knew he’d done—was on the other end of the line, left her feeling faint and dry-mouthed.

“Hello, Cord.”

Good heavens. She’d attempted to infuse a businesslike quality in her tone, but her voice betrayed a pathetic nervousness.

“It’s nice to know you remember me,” came the silky rejoinder.

Remember you? She tried to swallow her pain. Though separation had brought physical closure to the insoluble problems of their six-year marriage, part of her had never let him go. Even if she weren’t pregnant with his child, she knew it would be impossible to get over him.

How many times had she relived the fantasy that one day the phone would ring, that it would be Cord calling her with proof that there’d never been an affair with Sheila, that it had all been a mistake... That he still loved her, Ashley, and wanted her back.

But this was no fantasy phone call. His sarcasm crushed her. Eight months of separation hadn’t changed anything. One bitter remark from him and they were back in battle mode, as if they’d never been apart.

All they managed to do was hurt each other.

Her hand tightened on the receiver. “If you’re not calling me to let me know you’ve signed the divorce papers, then I don’t know why you bothered.”

She hadn’t meant to sound so curt, but it was her only defense against the old emotions swamping her. Though he hadn’t asked for a divorce, she knew he’d wanted one so he and his father’s predatory widow—the woman who was now a voting member on the board of the McKnight Company—could be together.

To accommodate him, Ashley had filed. That was the pain she lived with day and night.

“I’m fine. Thanks for asking,” he mocked with bitter irony.

She couldn’t take much more. “I—Is there a point to this conversation? I’m very busy and it’s late.”

By now her voice held a distinct tremor. No doubt he’d heard it. She couldn’t bear for him to know how much this phone call had shaken her.

“Actually, there is.”

“If you read the papers my attorney sent your attorney, this couldn’t possibly be about money. I never wanted yours, and I’m making an adequate living.”

The quiet on the other end of the phone let her know she’d said the one thing guaranteed to anger Cord. It had infuriated him that she didn’t want alimony. She heard his sharp intake of breath. “This has nothing to do with money.”

Ashley bit her lip. Was he about to tell her he knew she was pregnant?

If Greg hadn’t confided that information to Cord, then she couldn’t imagine what this was all about unless he’d heard she was hard-pressed for money.

Only because she’d been given room and board to be a companion and do light housekeeping for Mrs. Bromwell, did she have a decent place to stay. The family of the feeble eighty-year-old woman who never left the house paid Ashley a small salary which she was hoarding for the time when she had to find another place to live and work after the baby was born.

Soon she would move into the vacant tiny one room basement apartment around the corner to get things ready for the baby.

Though it was the last thing she wanted to do, she’d probably have to sell her diamond ring to help pay for the delivery. The proceeds from the sale, plus the little money she’d saved would keep her afloat until the baby had come and she could look for another caretaking position that allowed an infant.

“I’ve a favor to ask,” came his deep-toned, vibrant voice over the wires.

Favor?

Her delicately arched brows drew together in a frown. After trampling all over her heart until he’d ground it to pieces, he wanted something more from her?

“So if I don’t grant it, you won’t sign the papers? Is that it?”

“One has nothing to do with the other. I’m waiting to hear from my attorney.”

How did he maintain such perfect control when she was on the verge of hysteria?

“I think I’m the wrong woman to ask,” she bit out at last. Her whole body was trembling. “What could you possibly want from me now?”

The question was out before she realized how angry she sounded. And how vulnerable. Damn, damn, damn.

“You’re the one who ended things by moving out on me—” his voice grated “—but that’s all past history. What I’m asking for is a little of your time.”

His calm reply enflamed her.

“Ask Sheila.”

There was another deadly quiet. “Aside from the fact that she has nothing to do with my personal life, you’re the only person who can help me. I’m calling from City Creek Hospital,” he added quietly.

As a dozen ghastly scenarios flashed through her mind, she suddenly felt sick to the pit of her stomach. “What’s wrong?” She almost strangled on the words.

“It’s not fatal,” he answered in a dry tone, obviously reading her mind with his usual accuracy. His explanation released the tight band around her chest, allowing her to breathe again. “But I’d rather discuss it with you in person.”

“No!” she cried out in fright. Since he was still in the dark about her pregnancy, she didn’t want him to find out about it yet.

Rising to her feet in a panic she said, “If this isn’t a life-and-death situation, then there’s no reason why we can’t talk on th—”

“As I was about to say,” he broke in civilly before she’d finished, “you have every right to refuse me.”

Cord had a way of baiting her which not only pushed every button, but managed to make her feel sorry for him so she ended up battling a large dose of guilt for something she hadn’t even done. Flushed because of the late stage of her pregnancy, their conversation had raised her temperature another couple of degrees.

“To be honest, I’m surprised you haven’t already hung up on me.”

She held her forehead in her head. He would never beg. It wasn’t his way. So why had he called? What was really going on with him?

“Cord—I fail to see—”

“The point?” he interrupted once more. “I suppose I should have expected that response from you. Rest assured I won’t bother you again.”

Beneath his wintry delivery, there was a bleakness in his response which haunted her long after the line had gone dead...

When Ashley went to bed a half hour later, she tossed and turned all night. The pain in her lower back, coupled with the activity in her womb would have made her restless anyway, but Cord’s phone call had disturbed her so much, she knew she wouldn’t sleep until she knew the real reason why he’d contacted her.

They were getting divorced. Their marriage was over. Soon he and Sheila could do whatever they wanted without interference. It was nothing to do with Ashley, not anymore.

But he had phoned with a specific purpose in mind. Maybe he’d been diagnosed with something terminal, but not immediate.

No matter what had happened to break them up, the thought of him no longer existing on the planet brought pure terror to her heart.

The next morning, after she’d prepared Mrs. Bromwell’s breakfast, Ashley left her listening to a book on tape. With a small grocery list in hand she took the car to the store, then drove to Greg’s office located on the east bench, ten miles from the apartment. If anyone knew the truth, he did.

“Hi, Sally,” she said to one of the clerks on her way back to Greg’s office where she used to work. Now that spring had come to Utah, the store was packed with people already dreaming about summer campouts, ready to take advantage of the sales on new tents and lanterns.

Seconds later she gave a little rap on the door to his suite, their private signal.

Greg looked up with a broad smile and leaped out of his chair. “My, my how you’ve blossomed since I last saw you. You look beautiful.” He gave her an affectionate hug before telling her to sit down opposite his desk.

Happily married to Bonnie, and the proud father of two adorable children, Greg had been her rock and confidant when things had started to go wrong in her marriage to Cord.

She didn’t want to believe that he would have betrayed the trust she’d placed in him. If he’d gone against her pleas not to tell Cord anything, then she needed to know about it right now.

If he’d kept his promise, she needed to know that, too, so she wouldn’t be angry at him for something of which he was ignorant.

“What brings you here unless it’s to get your old job back? Much as I like Elly, she’s never been able to fill your shoes. She doesn’t understand the business the way you do. Everyone around here still misses you like crazy.”

“Thanks, Greg. That’s nice to hear.”

“I’ll tell you what. If you’d reconsider working for me again, I’ll buy you a reclining chair, and we can put a cot in back room when you need to lie down.” He kept it up with that winning smile. It warmed her aching heart.

“Greg—you’re wonderful, and I treasure those words, but you know why I could never come back here to work.”

His expression sobered and he leaned forward in his swivel chair. “Cord doesn’t come in the store anymore if that’s what you’re worried about. If I want to talk to him, I have to do the calling. Even then, he’s not himself. The last three times I’ve asked him to go spring skiing with me, he’s turned me down. Frankly, I’m worried about him.”

The fact that Cord had called her from the hospital made what Greg said that much more alarming.

Evidently their impending divorce had caused a breach in Greg’s relationship with Cord, something Ashley wouldn’t have imagined happening. They’d been friends for years and loved each other like brothers. The two couples had been on dozens of weekend vacations together in the mountains.

If he’d closed up on Greg, then she had to assume Cord’s problems had to do with Sheila. When the divorce was final, Ashley didn’t suppose he could contemplate marrying his father’s second wife without alienating a lot of people, but it would be Greg’s opinion that mattered most.

Since Greg had done everything in his power to help them fight for their marriage, she could only assume Cord was staying away from his closest friend to avoid talking about the past or being made to feel guilty.

She took a shuddering breath. “Did you by any chance give him my phone number?”

Greg’s eyes narrowed. “Did he phone you?”

“Yes. From City Creek Hospital. Last night.”

“Thank God!”

Ashley was taken back by such heartfelt emotion. “Then you told him where he could reach me?” she asked incredulously.

“Yesterday morning,” he said with a nod. “I had to, Ashley. Cord is in serious trouble.”

A spurt of adrenaline made her feel dizzy. “He said it wasn’t fatal.”

“He was lying!” he fired back. “I’m convinced you’re his only lifeline. Have you seen him?”

“No,” she said on a ragged breath. “I’m afraid our conversation degenerated rather quickly. He insisted on seeing me in person. I told him no and he hung up.” Her voice trailed.

She heard an unintelligible epithet come out of him. He sounded so much like Cord just then, it stunned her.

“Did you tell him I’m pregnant?”

“No. He has no idea he’s about to become a father, nor does he know where you live, or how you’re earning a living. Since you refuse to go to him, I guess that’s it.”

For the first time since she’d known Greg, he was making her feel guilty. “Do you know what’s wrong with him?”

He grimaced and it aged his appearance. “I have a gut feeling, but it’s not my place to say.” His amber eyes stared directly into hers. “You really have cut him completely out of your life, haven’t you?”

“Greg—” she defended, “if Bonnie had ever done to you what Cord and Sheila—”

“Ashley—” he broke in not unkindly, “I didn’t say that to hurt you. I suppose I was hoping time might have softened the wounds, but apparently I was wrong. I love you and Cord, and can see that both of you are in horrendous pain. It’s hard to sit back and do nothing, but that’s exactly what I’ve done all this time up until yesterday when I went to see him. That’s when I felt I had to intervene.”

Ashley started to feel physically ill and couldn’t talk for a minute.

“I’m sorry you’ve lost confidence in me, Ashley, but I won’t apologize for wanting to help save him. One thing I can promise you, he’ll never try phoning you again. Seeing how bitter you still are, it took more courage on his part than I would have had to reach out to you one last time. To be completely honest, I’m shocked he actually had the fortitude to make contact.”

He was sounding an awfully lot like Cord.

“Am I such a horrible person?” she finally asked in a dull voice, dying a thousands deaths inside.

“You know better than to ask a question like that. I’m not judging you, Ashley. I’m not in your shoes and couldn’t possibly presume to feel what you’re feeling. All I know is, two wonderful people who seemed so perfect for each other are now living drastically altered lives and I’m helpless to do anything about it.”

Ashley couldn’t take any more. “Greg—I didn’t mean to place you in this terrible position. I don’t blame you for what you’ve done.” Her voice trembled. “In fact I love you for caring so much. I don’t want to be a bitter woman. There’s nothing uglier or more self-destructive.” She lifted her head and eyed him levelly. “D-do you know his room number at the hospital?”

“He’s not in there now.”

“What do you mean?”

“When you didn’t come, he checked himself out and went home.”

“What?” With difficulty, she got up from the chair.

“But that doesn’t make sense.”

“I guess it does to him.”

She bit her lip. “I—I’ll phone him as soon as I get home.”

A somber expression darkened his features as he rose to his feet and walked her to the door. “Please, Ashley,” he whispered against her forehead where he gave her a kiss. “Don’t do anything unless you mean it.”

Don’t do anything unless you mean it?

Those words went ‘round and ’round in her head all the way back to the apartment.

As soon as she’d put away groceries and prepared Mrs. Bromwell’s lunch, she left her propped up with pillows listening to the radio, then shut the door and reached for the phone. But fear of becoming vulnerable again prevented her from actually punching in the numbers.

Another hour went by while she debated what to do, all the while growing more and more frantic. Finally, when she couldn’t stand it any longer, she picked up the receiver and phoned Cord’s extension at the office. Most of the time Sheila answered it for him.

Prepared to hear the satisfied sound in her husky voice, Ashley was taken aback when a terse, “Yes—” came over the wire to meet her ear. He had to be in a vile mood.

“Cord?”

For once the deafening quiet coming from his end told her she’d caught him off guard.

“Ashley? Dear God—it is you.”

The raw emotion in his voice revealed that she still had the power to affect him in some small degree. Summoning her courage she said, “I went to see Greg today. He said you’d left the hospital. Why?”

“Does it matter?” he asked grimly. “Last night you said you didn’t want to hear anything I had to say.”

She was afraid it would be like this. “Cord—do you want me to go on, or shall we just hang up?”

“No. Don’t do that! I’ve been in a foul mood and didn’t mean to take it out on you.”

If she didn’t know better, she would say he was nervous, which was odd because Cord wasn’t the nervous type. Anything but. At least she could say that about the Cord she thought she knew. Right now she didn’t know anything anymore.

“If you need to be in the hospital, then I don’t understand why you went back home. What’s wrong with you?”

“It’s my worry, Ashley. I’ll deal with it.”

She frowned. Something was missing in Cord, some elemental spark which had always been there before. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but the fact that he didn’t seem like himself bothered her terribly. Especially when he was going to be a father soon.

“I’ve made a decision, Cord. Please check yourself back in and I’ll come over.”

“Because of problems at the office, I couldn’t go in before Monday. But in any case, it’s asking too much of you.”

Greg had intimated Cord was deeply depressed. She was starting to realize what he’d meant.

“Not according to Greg,” she interjected. “He seems to believe you’re in real trouble.”

“He’s exaggerating.”

“I don’t think so. Let me know when you’re back in City Creek Hospital and I’ll be there.”

“No, thanks. Your sacrifice isn’t required, certainly not this close to the divorce. I should never have called you. I’ll work on my problem in my own way.”

Ashley felt a stabbing pain in her heart. He sounded like he was giving up. She couldn’t let this go, no matter the situation with Sheila.

“I—I’m afraid it’s not just your problem any more.”

Another long silence ensued. “What in the hell do you mean by that?”

At least she’d roused him out of his morose state for a moment. “All will be explained when we see each other Monday morning. I’ll be there early.”

Without giving him a chance to respond, she quietly put the receiver back on the hook. Only now was it hitting her what she’d done.

Because she had agreed to meet him at the hospital, he would find out she was practically ready to deliver their child.

Not only would he be hurt and angry that she hadn’t told him, he’d be in shock. According to the tests, their pregnancy had to have made medical history.

She had a premonition that once he found out, everything would grow more complicated and the divorce would be prolonged. But she’d taken the risk and couldn’t go back on her word now. Not if something was really wrong with Cord, and she firmly believed there was.

Without wasting another moment, she called the Bromwell family to arrange for someone else to come in to watch after their mother.

On Saturday, when Mrs. Bromwell’s oldest daughter came over to the apartment with the new person hired, Ashley went shopping for some new maternity clothes. She couldn’t spend much money, but she needed a few decent outfits to wear to the hospital. In the end, she bought several pairs of tailored cotton pants and artist’s smock tops in a flowered print, plus a couple of dresses.

At five after six Monday morning, Ashley stepped through the doors of the hospital and walked over to the main desk. “I’m Mrs. McKnight. Has my husband, Cord McKnight, checked in yet?”

The receptionist typed in something on the keyboard and scanned the screen. “Yes. He’s here. Room 521-C. Take the east elevators to the fifth floor, then turn right and report to the nursing station. They’ll direct you from there.”

“Thank you,” she murmured with a sigh of relief. All weekend she’d worried that Cord wouldn’t show up after all.

With trepidation and a heart that was hammering out of control, Ashley headed for her destination. By the time she entered the elevator with her suitcase and sewing bag, she felt jittery and uncertain.

In the last eight months she’d become a different person physically. Though more slender than ever in body and limb, she was pregnant enough to look like she could have her baby anytime now.

Many women with their first pregnancy didn’t show as much as she did, but that was probably because she was five feet four and there was no room for her baby to grow but out. No wonder Greg had commented on how much she’d blossomed when she’d visited him on Friday.

As she made her way down the hall, she wondered if Cord would even recognize her, especially with her short hair. Friends and acquaintances who’d known her when it had been long said they liked it both ways. But they thought the pixie style showed off the smooth oval of her face and brought out her slightly almond-shaped eyes which were a mixture of blue and green. Cord had always remarked on how they shimmered between her dark lashes whenever she was in the throes of deep emotion.

She’d debated over wearing her wedding rings, but at the last minute decided she’d better keep them on. She and Cord were still married in the eyes of the law, and she had an idea Cord wouldn’t like it if she didn’t show up with them. Better not upset him any more than necessary. Her appearance would be shocking enough and she needed to make the most of it.

After changing her mind several times, she finally chose to wear the new Indian madras style in a shimmery turquoise shot with gold threads. The filmy dress with sleeves to the elbow, fell straight from the shoulders to the gold embroidered hem. Gold earrings and neutral leather sandals with a low wedge for walking comfort completed her outfit.

The last thing she wanted to do was embarrass Cord whose tall, rugged good looks turned female heads wherever he went. Possessing a physically powerful, hard-muscled physique with dark hair and eyes as dark as blue as cobalt, the attention he drew was a phenomenon Ashley had been forced to accept early in their relationship or jealousy would have torn her apart.

The only reason she could handle it was because he was oblivious to the stir that always surrounded him. The opposite of a vain man, he never thought of himself. Until Sheila, he’d never given Ashley any reason to think another woman filled his eyes or his thoughts.

Because from day one he’d made Ashley believe that she was his whole world, it was like a ghastly, sickening nightmare when she saw what was happening between him and his own stepmother.

Stop it, Ashley. The past no longer matters. You’re here for Cord’s welfare. Put everything else out of your mind or you’ll go mad...

Taking several deep breaths to calm down, she approached the nursing station. “Hello—Could you tell me where 521-C is?”

“Go down the first hall you see on your right and pass through the double doors. You can’t miss it.”

Ashley muttered her thanks, picked up the suitcase and sewing bag which seemed to have grown heavier, and started off. As she rounded the corner, she saw a tall, dark-haired man coming through the doors halfway down the hall. Even from this distance he looked instantly familiar.

Cord.

All the air seemed to leave her trembling body. She could tell it was her husband by the way he carried himself, those long swift strides which were headed in her direction.

She hadn’t had any sleep for the last two nights planning what she’d say to him when they first met again after all these months. But she didn’t need to worry because he swept right past her, intent on reaching the main hallway.

Had she changed so much?

Staggered that he didn’t recognize her, she turned around to go after him, then froze in place because he suddenly swung on his heel and stared back at her in total disbelief.

They couldn’t be more than six feet apart, yet it was close enough for her to watch the blood drain out of his face. He looked so gaunt, she thought he might faint. Because he was wearing the familiar pewter-gray business suit with the paisley silk tie she liked so much, she could tell he’d lost weight.

He looked ill.

“Hello, Cord.” She managed to find her voice at last.

He drew closer, his intense gaze taking in her face and hair before inspecting every square inch of her pregnant body with eyes as frigid and dark as the Arctic. As each second ticked by, she saw the tightening of his chiseled features, the way his body went rigid and his hands formed into fists at his sides.

A shadow passed over his face. “Who’s the father?” he bit out with unconcealed fury.


CHAPTER TWO

ASHLEY shouldn’t have been surprised by the question, but somehow she had expected any response, any comment, any question but that one. Her fidelity to him was not in question here! But incredibly it seemed that her husband believed someone else had fathered their child.

She supposed he could be forgiven for coming to that conclusion. But at the same time, did he honestly believe she could sleep with another man while she was still married to him?

What an amazing irony. She could have laughed out loud if she hadn’t felt like sobbing.

“Can we talk about this in private?” she whispered because people were walking in the hallways from both directions. Right now his mood was too volatile to trust in the company of others.

Like an automaton, he picked up the bag and suitcase, then grasped her elbow in an almost painful grip. Before she knew how it had happened, he’d ushered them down another hallway to an open housekeeping storeroom.

“Cord—we can’t come in here!” she cried softly.

“We just did.”

He turned on a light and slammed the door, barring any hope of a quick exit with his unquestionably masculine frame.

She hadn’t been this close to him for so long, she forgot how susceptible she was to his potent male appeal, the scent of the soap he used in the shower, the warmth of his hard body electrifying hers.

Strong hands reached out and covered her shoulders, forcing her closer, but her swollen belly prevented a merging of their bodies.

“Look at me,” he demanded in a deceptively quiet voice.

Afraid to do otherwise, she lifted her head and met his piercing glance.

“Tell me who he is, Ashley.” His voice grated.

She tried swallowing, but it was impossible. “I’m surprised you have to ask.”

A glint of pain flashed in the depths of his eyes. “It’s Greg’s baby, isn’t it?” came the tortured utterance.

“Greg?” she blurted incredulously.

The hands on her shoulders bit in to her skin. “He’s always been crazy about you. It’s the reason he hired you to work for him after we found out I couldn’t give you a baby. It’s the reason he’s been so damn loyal to you. Good Lord—To think my wife and my best friend could get involved—” he ground out. His haunted tone devastated her.

Right now would be the perfect time to throw Sheila in his face and make him realize what their affair had done to her, Ashley. But she couldn’t.

“Please, Cord. Your hands—You don’t know your own strength.” In his pain, he had unconsciously gripped her too hard.

When her entreaty got through to him, he let go of her, looking like the lone survivor of a horrendous battle.

Taking a deep draft of air she began to explain. “The night before I left the house, y-you came to my room, and you know what happened. Within a few weeks, I had all the signs of flu and went to see Dr. Noble.

“He ran a lot of tests, but everything came back normal. He joked with me that my symptoms sounded like morning sickness, then asked me when was the last time that you and I had slept together.”

The whole time she was talking, Cord seemed to be looking straight through to her soul.

“One thing led to another and he decided to do a pregnancy test on me. He said stranger things had happened, that once in a while an infertile couple defied all the odds.

“When the first test came back saying I was pregnant, he did two more tests to be absolutely certain, then told me we’d made medical history.”

Her proud chin lifted a little higher. “It’s your baby, Cord. No one else’s.” Her voice throbbed.

A stillness came over him that pervaded the entire storeroom.

Like trick photography, his expression underwent a total transformation. Frame by frame she watched as if new life had just been breathed into his body. His well-defined chest heaved from the force of a dozen new emotions exploding inside him, needing expression.

Ashley could feel them because her body was undergoing a similar reaction. She’d lived with this secret knowledge too long, holding back for the moment when they were divorced and she was ready to tell him.

But circumstances had dictated that she tell him sooner, and now her husband knew the truth. With this knowledge, she realized everything was about to change...

“I presume you were going to tell me after the fact,” came the acid comment.

A fresh wave of guilt swept over her. “I—I thought it best to keep it to myself so our divorce would go through quickly. Sheila intimated that the two of you were anxious to—”

“Sheila be damned!” he interrupted cruelly. “You knew how much I’ve always wanted to have a baby, and you kept it from me. Good Lord, Ashley—”

Her heart almost failed her. “But, Cord—Sheila said—”

“I don’t ever want to hear her name mentioned again,” he bit out with barely controlled rage. “When is our child due?”

“May thirtieth, four weeks from now.”

“The day before my birthday,” he murmured in wonder, as if to himself. “Have you had an ultrasound?” he asked unexpectedly.

“Yes. As far as the doctor can tell, the baby is perfect and it’s a good size.”

She saw a little nerve throb along his forceful jaw, evidence of the emotion he was experiencing.

“Are we having a boy or a girl?”

Ashley averted her eyes. “I don’t know.”

“Why not?” he fired back.

“I—I decided I wanted to be surprised, so I asked the doctor not to tell me. All I care about is that it’s normal.”

“It appears that if I hadn’t called you, I wouldn’t have known about our child until after it was born,” he murmured, sounding far away. “What really made you come?”

It was hard to look anywhere except at him. “Greg said—” She paused, afraid to reveal too much. Talking about his best friend was like treading on sacred ground. She didn’t know exactly what she should say.

“Tell me!”

She shook her head. “He was worried about you, that’s all.”

His eyes flickered dangerously. “He always did have a lot of influence over you.”

It was on the tip of her tongue to remind him that Sheila had only to call him—ostensibly about a business problem—no matter what hour of the night, and he would leave Ashley in bed to take care of it.

But bringing up his stepmother’s name at such a precarious moment as this could only exacerbate the tension between them.

To her shock, she felt his hand run through her hair, feeling the silky strands. She had to stifle a moan. “I like it,” he whispered. “There’s a lot of natural curl. I would imagine our baby will look just like you.”

Don’t touch me. Please don’t touch me.

“Ashley—” he began, sounding more emotional than angry. But the door flew open and one of the ladies in housekeeping cried out to discover the two of them inside.

“Sorry.” He grinned at the woman while escorting Ashley from the closet with a possessive arm around the back of her waist. “I had this irresistible urge to kiss my wife who’s about to become a mother, and I didn’t want an audience.”

The woman tittered, obviously amused and charmed by him. “You can stay in there all day for all I care. Just let me put this waxer away.”

Anyone else might have made the woman suspicious enough to call security, but Cord had a way with people that was fascinating to watch.

He brushed Ashley’s flushed cheek with the back of his hand, sending a shiver of forgotten delight through her body. Eyeing her face through narrowed eyes he said, “I think maybe it was time we came out for air.”

The custodian chuckled and waved them on, then went about her work. Ashley, still dizzy from the sensations his touch had aroused, walked unsteadily at his side, her wedges making a clicking sound on the linoleum as he opened the door for her so they could enter the floor where he’d been admitted.

As they neared the nursing station, a sixtyish-looking man in a lab coat looked up, then smiled at Cord. “It looks like you found your wife.”

“I did. Ashley, this is Dr. Drake, the head of the clinic.”

She said something appropriate and shook the doctor’s hand, but the word “clinic” sent a shudder through her body. “W-what kind of clinic are you referring to?” she stammered. Cancer? Or something equally serious?

The doctor frowned in puzzlement. “Our couples program.”

Couples?

“She just got here so we haven’t had a chance to discuss anything yet,” Cord explained, but Ashley could scarcely concentrate because she was still reacting to the doctor’s comment.

She shook her head in bewilderment. “What program?”

Dr. Drake’s attention switched to Cord. “I thought you explained things to her when you were in here on Friday.”

Ashley swallowed hard. “I—I’m afraid I didn’t give him an opportunity. We’re getting a divorce and there’s been virtually no contact.”

“Yes. Your husband confided as much to me. Mrs. McKnight? Can I assume you’re here because you want to help your husband?”

After a moment’s pause she murmured, “Yes.”

“All right then. As you’re aware, every year in our country we declare a day of no smoking.”

Smoking?

She couldn’t imagine what he was getting at.

“Those trying to quit the habit abstain from cigarettes for twenty-four hours. In conjunction with that effort, we piloted a special program at City Creek ten years ago called the Great Salt Lake Smokeout.”

Ashley had heard of it.

“It was so successful, we’ve done it every year since. Six couples, where one or both have a smoking problem, voluntarily sign up on a first-come, first-serve basis, and stay together in a special clinic for a week free of charge. We provide intensive counseling and therapy to help them break the habit.”

Her mind was spinning. “Dr. Drake? Neither of us smokes!”

“Your husband had the habit in college, but he got off it when he went to work as a park ranger.”

Ashley was dumbfounded. Cord had never told her that...

“Since your separation, he’s taken it up again and wants desperately to quit, thus the reason he came to us. His case is one of several kinds we’re looking for because he wasn’t a smoker all his life.

“We believe this latest addiction is an outward sign of emotional stress and deep-seated problems possibly relating as far back as childhood. Problems he hasn’t yet come to terms with.

“We’ve learned it’s easier if the partner in the marriage goes through the counseling, as well, in order to help their spouse and/or themselves. Through a team effort, the prognosis for quitting altogether is excellent because many problems and side issues are aired with positive results.

“In your particular situation, facing a traumatic divorce has obviously triggered his need to begin smoking again, so you’re the one he would require to be on hand to help him learn more about himself and dig deep for answers.

“You certainly don’t have to agree to this. It would take an exceptionally strong person to revisit the scene of the crime so to speak and place yourself in a vulner able position once more.”

Ashley moaned because his comments pierced the very core of her turmoil.

“In fact in ten years, I only know of one other couple on the verge of divorce who entered together, and they left the program early. For them, it didn’t work. But Mr. McKnight seems anxious to try.

“Today is our kickoff. I’m giving a lecture in the auditorium in five minutes. If you’re interested in helping your husband, talk to him and let me know what you decide by the end of the hour. If you decide not to go through with the program, I’ll need to give your place to the next couple on the list.”

While her thoughts reeled, he patted Cord’s shoulder, then walked down the corridor.

Stunned by the news that Cord was a smoker, she stood there in a daze. “When I married you, I thought I knew everything about you, but it’s evident I only scratched the surface. All weekend I assumed that you must be dying of a terminal illness and Greg was afraid to tell me.

“Instead—I discover you’re here because of a smoking problem! It’s too absurd.” An angry laugh escaped.

“It’s serious to me,” Cord said in a quiet voice. “Even more so now that I’ve found out you’re pregnant.”

Ashley didn’t have a comeback for that. During the last six months of their broken marriage she had no idea what he did apart from her because they spent so little time together. He and Sheila, along with several subordinates, ran the administrative end of the lucrative McKnight potato chip company. The various plants located in northern Utah and Idaho had produced a phenomenal business for three generations and it was still growing to meet the demand.

Sheila smoked a lot. Ashley could always tell when Cord had been with her because he came home from the office with telltale signs of tobacco clinging to his clothes. Under those circumstances it would be easy enough for Cord to fall back into an old habit.

Naturally she wanted him to stop, if only for his own health’s sake. She supposed that knowing he was about to become a father would provide the extra incentive.

But one week without Sheila? Ashley mused waspishly. She couldn’t imagine how either Cord or his stepmother would survive that long without each other.

Yet he obviously felt he needed help or he wouldn’t have checked in to the hospital. But a couples program?

She’d heard smoking was a very difficult habit to break, and she admired anyone who was successful. Certainly a program like the one run at the hospital sounded as if it might work because it was attempting to deal with a person’s whole psyche.

She moistened her dry lips. “It would never have occurred to me that you were a smoker.”

“I put it behind me when I went to work for the forest service and thought I’d licked it.” There was a distant pause. “Evidently I haven’t. Now that you know the truth, I wouldn’t blame you if you walked away.”

She took a shaky breath. “If I do that, then you won’t be able to participate.”

“It doesn’t matter, Ashley. I can afford to get the help I need through individual therapy. But when I heard about the clinic, the idea of couples working on the problem together made a lot of sense.”

She hated to admit that she agreed, but she had serious reservations. “I don’t feel comfortable about taking the place of another couple who wouldn’t otherwise have the funds to get this kind of help.”

Cord’s jaw tautened. “That was one of my concerns, too. I’ve already told Dr. Drake that if you did join me, I would insist on paying for our stay and the therapy involved.

His admission didn’t surprise her. In all areas but one, Cord was the most honest, decent human being she’d ever known.

“It was a mistake to have called you,” he muttered darkly. “If you’re ready, I’ll walk you out to your car.”

He cupped her elbow to usher her toward the elevator, but she pulled back. His dark brows furrowed in question.

“Cord—since you’ve gone to this much trouble, I have to assume you’re intent on quitting smoking. I’ll stay through your first meeting with the therapist, but beyond that, I can’t promise anything.”

His body stilled. “You don’t have to do that.”

“I—I came this morning, Cord, and I’ll see it through that far at least.”

“But your job?”

“The person who was going to replace me when I went into labor is with Mrs. Bromwell now. Early this morning I made the decision that no matter what happened between you and me, I wouldn’t be going back there. It’s not going to be a problem since we all agreed that anything could have happened during these last four weeks.”

“You’re right. Our baby might decide to come early.”

“It’s possible,” she admitted, “but the doctor says there’s no sign of that yet.”

“Frankly, I’m glad you’re quitting work.”

Ashley looked away, nervous and apprehensive over what she’d done, but she’d made a commitment and couldn’t back out on it. “Excuse me while I make that call.”

She turned to the desk clerk who allowed Ashley the use of the phone. All the time she talked to Mrs. Bromwell’s daughter, she felt Cord’s presence and it prevented her from concentrating. After promising to keep in touch with the family, Ashley hung up the receiver. “Shall we go to the auditorium?”

His gaze swept over her, concerned and reminiscently possessive. “Are you all right? Do you need anything first?”

“No, thank you. I’m fine.”

“If you should feel any discomfort, I want to know about it.” The one thing she knew about Cord was that he would take perfect care of her.

“I promise,” she said in an effort to reassure him.

When they went inside, Dr. Drake was speaking at the podium, using an overhead projector to put some points across. Cord shifted his arm to her shoulders and guided her down the aisle to a vacant row where they took the first two seats. He placed her suitcase and bag in the aisle next to his.

Another surprise awaited her when he reached for her left hand. She could feel him brailling her rings, no doubt to ascertain that they were still there.

When she attempted to put her arm back in her lap, he exerted the slightest pressure which served as a warning not to try to free herself.

She had been afraid of this happening. Now that he knew he was about to become a father, he was feeling proprietorial of her. He might not be in love with her any longer, but he would love their child. She had no doubts about that. Because she was going to be the mother, he would do everything in his power to help and protect her.

Once they were alone again, she’d remind him that they were getting a divorce. He couldn’t go on touching her, holding her whenever he felt like it.

Somehow she had to make him see that the only reason she was here was to provide an additional impetus to help him conquer the problem which had beset him.

“...After this general meeting, which should only take another ten minutes, we’ll assign each couple a room and ask you to go there and get settled. Breakfast will be served at seven-thirty in the conference room next door.

“At eight o’clock, a psychologist will visit each couple in their rooms to begin the treatment and therapy sessions.

“Lunch will be at twelve, followed by a getting-acquainted session for everyone back in here at twelve-thirty.

“I believe that’s as much as I need announce at this time. Right now, I’d like to introduce Mack and Barbara, a couple who were involved in our pilot program ten years ago.

“Mack was a heavy smoker who’d tried dozens of times to quit without success.

“Mack? Tell us what happened when you came in here.”

Ashley tried to listen while the man explained how City Creek’s program had turned his life around and made a new man of him. But with Cord sitting next to her, his lower thigh brushing against her nylon-clad leg, she couldn’t possibly concentrate.

While he held her hand, he absently rubbed his thumb over her palm. Every motion sent her pulse skyrocketing, rekindling old desires which had been lying dormant over the last eight months.

She could hardly breathe as she felt his gaze wander over the pregnant line of her body. He was studying her, most likely comparing what he saw to his last memory of her. It shamed her now to remember how she’d molded herself to him after a rapturous night of lovemaking. But the second she’d fallen asleep, he’d stolen from the bedroom she was using, and had gone back to his own room.

When she’d awakened and had discovered him missing, she went to find him, needing to talk about what had happened.

During the night he’d begged her to believe him, that there had been no affair with Sheila. After what they’d just shared, she’d wanted to have faith in him and thought maybe this could be a new beginning.

But the conversation she had in mind never took place because when she reached the door of his room, she heard Sheila’s voice. She was talking to Cord.

Though Ashley felt like she was going to faint from the pain, she peered inside. What she saw turned out to be the blackest moment of her life.

Within ten minutes she’d packed a suitcase and had left the house in the compact car he’d bought her. Since that hellish morning, she hadn’t stepped over the threshold of the McKnight house. She never would again.

“Ashley? It’s time to go to our room. The others have already filed out.”

Cord’s low voice brought her back to the present with a jolt. Her head jerked around. “What?”

His lancing eyes searched her features relentlessly. He let out an expletive. “You’ve gone pale.”

“I’m just feeling a little empty inside,” she lied. “It’s nothing serious.’

“What can I get you? Some juice? I saw a machine in the hall.”

“That sounds good.”

“Let’s go.”

After having been on her own for over half a year, she had to admit it felt wonderful to be taken care of again. No one was more solicitous of her needs than Cord. He’d been a giver from the first moment she’d met him. That quality in him hadn’t changed.

Within a couple of minutes he’d whisked her to their room a few doors down the halt and had forced her to sit down at the side of the bed, guarding her to make sure she drank every drop of the canned orange juice.

Though she hadn’t needed a drink, it tasted delicious. While she emptied the can, he put the bag in the closet, then lifted her suitcase onto his bed and started emptying it.

Ridiculous as it seemed, though she’d been married to him for six years, she felt shy and a little embarrassed as he unpacked her things, particularly her nightgowns and underwear.

“What are these?” He held several vials of pills in his hand.

“Prenatal vitamins and calcium tablets.”

He put them on the top of the dresser. “How often do you take them?”

“The vitamins once a day. The calcium, twice.”

Any normal man who’d just. found out he was going to be a father would show some curiosity. But this was Cord who’d been told by specialists that he would probably never be able to father a child.

Yet the miracle had happened. He was about to become a new dad. She could see the excitement in his eyes every time they rested on her. More, she could feel it in the huskiness of his deep voice. He couldn’t seem to keep his hands off her.

This was his baby she was carrying. His natural curiosity had been magnified a dozen times by the wondrous news. Ashley had to resign herself to the fact that he’d already taken over his role as prospective father with a seriousness that bordered on overprotectiveness.

In her heart she couldn’t blame him. Right now she didn’t think that even Sheila could wield enough power to win him away from Ashley’s side, no matter the urgency. Once she’d delivered, it would be a different story. In the meantime, it was evident Cord would be preoccupied with thoughts of the son or daughter almost ready to be born.

If Sheila already hated Ashley now, how much more would that emotion escalate when she found out Ashley was carrying Cord’s baby?

Instead of his stepmother somehow finding out first and running to Cord with the information—no doubt twisting it in some strange way to make Ashley look bad in his eyes, Ashley derived a certain satisfaction in knowing that Cord would have to inform Sheila he was about to be a new father. That would definitely come as a shock!

She bit her lip. How long would Cord wait before he excused himself to use the clinic phone and make that important call?

Following the thought, she wondered how much the baby would put a crimp in his future plans with Sheila, whatever they were.

If Cord married her, that would mean she’d be the other woman in their child’s life. Ashley couldn’t fathom such an untenable possibility.

“Come on, Ashley. You’re still looking wan. Let’s get you to the dining room for some solid food.”

“I’m really not hungry, but I’m sure you are. Why don’t you go without me? I ate something before I came and the juice filled me up. Besides, my back is aching a little, and I would like to lie down till the psychologist arrives.”

He pondered her remarks with a single-minded intensity reminiscent of the old Cord she’d first met and fallen in love with. “Then let me help you relax.”

Faster than she could think to lift her legs from the floor, he leaned down and gathered her in his arms to help her stretch out properly on top of the bed.

His gentle solicitation, the close proximity of their bodies produced a bittersweet ache. She turned her head toward the wall, afraid to look at him. “It’s a little cool in here for you, I think.” In the next instant he’d found a light blanket to cover her.

“Th-thank you,” she whispered. The words came out haltingly because as he tucked it around her, his hands seemed to have a mind of their own. She squeezed her eyelids tightly together as she felt him shape his palms to the large mound containing their baby and begin a slow exploration.

You don’t have the right, Cord! Not when you’ve been intimate with Sheila, her heart sobbed in silence.

But Ashley felt powerless to stop him.

Because you’re still in love with him and crave any contact with him. Admit it!

His sure touch was light as a feather, but she felt it in every atom of her trembling body. It had been eight months since she’d known such exquisite pleasure. Eight lonely, interminably long, desolate months. She never wanted him to stop.

“It’s a miracle, darling—” she heard him murmur in a thick-toned voice.

Suddenly the blanket disappeared and the weight on her stomach felt a little heavier. She opened her eyes and turned her head back around to discover his face buried against her belly. A slight gasp escaped her throat as he started to kiss her through the filmy material of her dress.

Unshed tears sprang to her eyes. From almost the very first moment they’d met, he’d kissed her under every conceivable circumstance and manner, but she’d never been as moved, never felt as worshiped and adored as she did at this moment.

Cord would never have the experience of carrying a child nine months inside his own body. Yet it was his child. She realized this was the closest he could come to sharing the experience with her. But she hadn’t counted on the indescribable swell of emotion that made her want to forget every painful thing that had gone on in the past and just feast on this incredible feeling of oneness with him.

A little being was growing inside her, getting bigger every day. A little life which was half her, half Cord. But while she’d had over eight months to ponder the wonder of it all, he’d only just learned that his life was already immortalized by the son or daughter waiting to make an appearance shortly.

Being pregnant with Cord’s baby bonded them in a way that went far beyond the physical world and touched on the eternal. She couldn’t begrudge him the God-given right to fatherhood by denying him this miraculous moment of discovery.

It was something she would treasure in her heart, long after they’d separated and gone their own way. Which they would, a nagging inner voice cried out in despair once more.

“I’ll be right back,” he whispered, pressing a hard, swift kiss to her astonished mouth. After covering her again with the blanket, he left the room in a few swift strides.


CHAPTER THREE

“HELLO, you two. I’m Vincent Warren, but since we’re going to be getting to know each other very, very well—” He grinned. “Why don’t you just call me Vince.”

“That sounds good to us,” Cord spoke for both of them in a deep, even voice. He sat down in a chair next to her bed, drinking a cup of coffee he’d carried from the dining room. Out of thoughtfulness, he’d brought her back a roll and some grapefruit, in case she got hungry later.

Seated on the edge of the bed, Ashley tried to put the memory of those moments before Cord had gone for breakfast out of her mind. It had been a transcendent experience, one which had shaken her and affected her ability to concentrate.

She did note that the middle-aged psychologist emanated a professional mien in his pale blue lab coat and clipboard. He was clean-shaven, unlike so many in his profession.

“Ashley? Is that what you want me to call you?”

She nodded.

“And you, sir? You wish to be called Cord?”

“All right.” He put everything on the bedside table, then reached in his pocket. “I’m going to adhere this patch to your neck, Cord. As you know, this is one of the methods used to help you lose your desire for a cigarette.”

“Are there any side effects associated with it?” Ashley blurted anxiously, causing Cord to flash her a questioning glance.

She turned to Vince. “H-he had a bad reaction once to some pain medication following a brush with a grizzly bear.”

“That’s right,” Cord muttered. “I’d forgotten.”

“Oh, honestly, Cord. How could you possibly forget an experience that almost cost you your life?” she cried out in remembered pain.

“Really!” Vince made a notation on his legal pad. “That’s a story I’d like to hear about later. What was prescribed?”

“Percodan,” she supplied instantly.

“Then you’re probably allergic to codeine. The patch doesn’t have the same ingredients, so I’m not worried, but we’ll watch you carefully all the same. Most people respond favorably to this form of treatment. We’ll just have to wait and see.”

It took him about one minute for the procedure, then Vince reached for a chair and sat down facing them.

“I’m sure Dr. Drake has already explained this, but the aim of our clinic is to put together a profile on both of you so we can get as in-depth a picture of your life as possible. At the same time, we’ll teach you some strategies to end your compulsion to smoke.

“As you know, human nature is such that we all operate under the selective memory process. Interviewing both of you at the same time helps get two points of view on the same happening, and supplies the missing pieces to help us make the most correct assessment possible.

“What happened just now when your wife remembered an incident in your life that you didn’t deem very important, is a case in point.

“I’ve read the summary of your work profile and understand you lived a lot of your life in the out-of-doors before moving back to Salt Lake. Obviously the accident such as she described was routine to you, but to your wife, it constituted much more of a threat, thus her reaction and instant recall.

“You see how beneficial interviewing both of you simultaneously will work to our advantage?”

Ashley was very much afraid that she did. When she darted a covert glance at Cord, his closed expression told her nothing about his inner thoughts.

“Willpower and self-mastery are always the keys to living a temperate life,” Vince expounded, “but many other factors get in the way. When two people live together, for good or bad, those factors increase, thus the reason for both of you agreeing to go through the program. By the end of the week, we hope to have accomplished a great deal.

“Cord—we’d like to see you walk out of here feeling physically fit and having less of an urge to light up because number one, it’s unhealthy. Number two, because through counseling here, you will have zeroed in on the stumbling blocks in your life that trigger your need for nicotine, and will have taken positive steps to remove them.”

Ashley stirred restlessly on the bed. Once they got into the past, it would be like opening Pandora’s box. She dreaded what was about to come out and wondered if she had the temerity to last the course.

Vince’s gaze centered on her. “If you get uncomfortable sitting there while I’m interviewing, please move around or lie down, or do whatever makes you the most comfortable.”

“Thanks. I’m fine for the moment.” Physically, she’d had a very easy pregnancy. Except for occasional back pain, she didn’t swell that much and the morning sickness left after the third month. It’s my emotional state that is in turmoil. Being with Cord like this is killing me.

The psychologist nodded. “According to the notes Dr. Drake left with me, I see that you were the one who filed for divorce. Is that correct?”

“Yes.”

“How long have you been separated?”

“Eight months.”

“When was the last time you saw each other since the separation?”

She bowed her head to avoid Cord’s searching gaze. “This morning.”

“So there’s been no communication until now?”

“Not until last Friday when Cord phoned me.”

“Yet you cared enough to help him, and he cared enough to ask for your help. That’s a good beginning if we’re to accomplish anything positive in the next seven days.” He cleared his throat. “All right. Cord? Let’s start with you. What’s your age?”

“Thirty-six.”

“From what I understand, you didn’t start smoking until you went away to college.”

“That’s right,” he answered quietly. Ashley kept her eyes on Vince, but she was listening to Cord with every part of her being.

“Had you ever been tempted by cigarettes before that time?”

“No.”

“Most kids start in junior high or high school. What do you think made you take the first one so late in life?”

“I don’t know. I was at a loose end, and the fellows who roomed in the same apartment I did all smoked. One night at a party someone offered me a cigarette and I thought, ‘why not?’ That’s how it started.”

“We’ll assume for the moment that you’ve been at a loose end many times long before then and since. So what was different about that time?”

Ashley heard the draft of air Cord took in before he answered.

“I’d just left home after a bitter scene with my father.”

“Your mother didn’t figure in it?”

“No.”

One of Ashley’s deepest disappointments was not ever meeting or knowing Cord’s mother, a woman he’d adored. As for Cord’s father, he was a cold man, aloof.

“You were what? Eighteen?” Cord nodded. “Tell me more about your family. How many brothers and/or sisters?”

“I’m an only child.”

Vince wrote more notations. “Since you went away to school in the East, am I assuming correctly that you generally made several visits home a year?”

“No,” came the abrupt reply.

This was news to Ashley. Her gaze fastened compulsively on him, her heart thudding.

“Why not?”

At this point Cord leaned forward, his hands clasped between his knees in an attitude of solemnity. “My father and I became estranged before I graduated from high school.”

“Why?”

Cord’s face darkened with lines. “From the time I was fourteen, I always had to work for my father at the office doing odd jobs, anything he wanted me to do. It was always intended that I would head the family business after he retired, so he expected me to know it all.” His voice grated.

“I take it the idea of filling his shoes didn’t appeal to you.”

“No. I had interests which ran in another direction entirely, but being the only son, I felt trapped.”

“You never told me that—” Ashley blurted.

Cord absently brushed his lower lip with his thumb. “I never said anything because my mother urged me to do what my father wanted. Above all, I hated disappointing her.”

“Surely she wanted your welfare above all else!”

Sadness lurked in Cord’s eyes. “I’m positive of it. But because Dad didn’t seem capable of making her happy, I thought I could. Anyway, in May of my senior year, about three weeks before graduation, Dad hired a new girl to replace the receptionist who was leaving to get married.”

Suddenly Cord’s dark glance swerved to Ashley. “Her name was Sheila Wright.”

A gasp came out of Ashley. “You really did know her clear back then?” she cried in fresh agony. “Then that means Sheila was telling the truth.” For the second time in one morning, she watched Cord’s face pale.

Vince got to his feet before she did. “All right. The mention of this Sheila has touched on an issue of extreme sensitivity, one that has obviously not been resolved.” He eyed Ashley compassionately. “Is Sheila the person you feel is partially responsible for the breakup of your marriage?”

“Among other reasons.” Ashley’s voice shook. She felt ill. “I’ve got to get out of here.”

“Ashley—”

She heard the tormented plea in Cord’s tone, but she couldn’t handle the gut-wrenching revelation that Sheila had been his lover as far in the past as high school! Sheila had intimated that she’d been the other woman in the background of Cord’s life, but Cord had always denied it.




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