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Angels In The Snow
Sarah Morgan
Do fairy lights and family make the perfect Christmas?Daniel is dreadful at tinsel, fairy lights and families. Put in charge of his brother’s kids, Daniel panics. Surely, he can’t ask Stella for help?It used to be her favourite season, until Daniel began – and ended – their engagement on Christmas Eve. Still, Stella can’t refuse a desperate plea. The children deserve the best Christmas ever!Meanwhile, shivering on the snowy doorstep of High Fell Barn, Hayley’s regretting her impulsive response to a job avert. It’s too late, the door is opening to reveal a rather cross – but impossibly sexy – man…Patrick hadn’t advertised for a housekeeper – Alfie, his ten-year-old son, has taken matters into his own hand. Still, Hayley might be the perfect gift.Alfie and his little sister are no angels. But they know a lot about the magic of Christmas – and they’re about to teach the grown-ups a much-needed lesson!Praise for Sarah Morgan'Sarah Morgan continues to hang out on my autobuy list and each book of her that I discover is a treat' – Smart Bitches, Trashy Books'Full of romance and sparkle' – Lovereading'Morgan's brilliant talent never ceases to amaze' – RT Book Reviews'Dear Ms Morgan, I'm always on the lookout for a new book by you…' – Dear Author‘Morgan is a magician with words' – RT Book Reviews'Definitely looking forward to more from Sarah Morgan' – Smexy Book




About the Author
As a child, SARAH MORGAN dreamed of being a writer and, although she took a few interesting detours on the way, she is now living that dream. She firmly believes that reading romance is one of the most satisfying and fat-free escapist pleasures available. Her stories are unashamedly optimistic and she is always pleased when she receives letters from readers saying that her books have helped them through hard times.
Sarah lives near London with her husband and two children, who innocently provide an endless supply of authentic dialogue. When she isn’t writing or nagging about homework, Sarah enjoys music, movies, and any activity that takes her outdoors.

Angels in the Snow
Daniel
Sarah Morgan
Patrick
Sarah Morgan


www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
To Lucy,
whose happy smile and cheerful nature
never fail to brighten my day

Daniel

PROLOGUE
‘I’M OVER him. Really. That’s why I’m back.’ Stella stamped the snow from her boots and levered them off on the doorstep of the converted stable. ‘Two years is a long time. Long enough to gain some perspective on things.’ She glanced at the man next to her and caught her breath because he was so like his brother. And yet so different. This man hadn’t smashed her dreams into a million tiny pieces. ‘Are you sure it’s a good idea for me to live in your stable?’
‘It’s nearly Christmas,’ he drawled, a gleam of humour in his eyes as he stood aside to let her pass. ‘A stable is prime accommodation, haven’t you heard?’
Stella smiled, but beneath the smile was a shiver of trepidation.
Christmas.
Once, it had been her favourite time of year. But that had been before every glittering silver bauble reminded her of the engagement ring she’d worn for such a short space of time.
Putting her life back together had taken time, effort and determination. And she was about to test just how far she’d come.
She’d kept her emotions safely boxed away, like Christmas decorations that were no longer needed. What if the box suddenly opened, spilling all those emotions back into her life?
For a terrifying moment it felt as though two years of healing was about to be undone and Stella stepped quickly inside her new home, hiding her feelings from the man watching her. He was a doctor as well as a friend. She knew how much he saw.
Her feet sank into the soft, cream rug that covered much of the pale wooden floor and she blinked rapidly to clear the tears, angry with herself. No more tears, wasn’t that what she’d promised herself? ‘I suspect this is a little more comfortable than the original stable. You’ve performed miracles, Patrick. When I last saw this two years ago, it still had a horse in it.’ She was making polite conversation but it was impossible to ignore the gnawing anxiety in her stomach.
‘Stella, will you drop the act?’ He slammed the door shut on the snow and the freezing December air. ‘You’re a nervous wreck. Pale. Jumpy. Looking over your shoulder in case Daniel suddenly turns up. He isn’t going to. He’s up to his elbows in blood and drama at the hospital. It’s just you and me. We drowned our sorrows together two years ago. If you can’t be honest with me, who can you be honest with?’
Stella tugged off her gloves. ‘He’s your brother. That makes it awkward.’
‘The fact that he’s my brother doesn’t blind me to his faults.’ Patrick dropped the keys on the table. ‘Neither does it affect our friendship. We kept each other going over that nightmare Christmas. Don’t think I’ve forgotten that.’
Stella felt her insides wobble and wondered whether it was a mistake to pursue this conversation. In a way it had been easier living and working among people who didn’t know—people who weren’t watching to see how she was coping. ‘I’m nervous about seeing him,’ she said finally. ‘Of course I am.’
‘I’m not surprised. Stella, you were engaged.’
‘For about five minutes.’ She walked towards the wood-burning stove and stared at the glass. ‘I just wish he hadn’t broken it off at Christmas. It made it harder, somehow.’
‘He shouldn’t have broken it off at all.’
‘That was inevitable.’ She turned, resigned to having the conversation she’d hoped to avoid. ‘Daniel doesn’t believe he’d be a good husband and he definitely doesn’t think he’d be a good father—you know how his mind works. The surprise wasn’t that he broke off the engagement, but that he proposed to me in the first place. If I’d been stronger, I would have said no. I knew it wasn’t what he wanted.’ Lost in thought, dwelling in the land of ‘what if’, Stella lifted one of the logs piled in a basket, ready to be used on the fire, and rubbed her fingers along the rough bark. Then she looked at Patrick. ‘Enough of me. How are you doing? If anything, that Christmas was worse for you than it was for me. Your wife left.’
‘The difference is that Carly and I weren’t in love. I was angry with her for ending it at Christmas, and I feel for the children not having a mother around, but for myself …’ He gave a dismissive shrug. ‘The one thing about being unhappily married is that divorce feels like a blessing. But I’m aware that I’m probably part of the reason that Daniel got cold feet.’
‘I think it was more like frostbite than cold feet,’ Stella said lightly, ‘and it wasn’t your fault.’
‘Carly walked out on Christmas Eve. Daniel broke off your engagement on the same day. Believe me, there was a connection.’
Remembering just how awful that Christmas had been for both of them, Stella sighed. ‘You and I spent it on our own, trying to smile around your kids, do you remember?’
‘I remember that you were brave,’ Patrick said gruffly, reaching out and squeezing her shoulder. ‘After Daniel walked out, you disappeared for five minutes and then came back with your make-up on and a smile on your face, determined to give my children a good time. Because of you, I don’t think Alfie even noticed that his mother wasn’t there.’
‘The children gave me something to focus on. And you and I did share that bottle of champagne, which helped. And we ate every scrap of chocolate from the Christmas tree.’
‘Then I went and picked up a kitten from the farmer next door, do you remember?’
It was one of the few happy memories among the miserable ones. ‘Giving Alfie that kitten was an inspired idea. And it was gorgeous. ‘
‘That kitten is now a cat and has just produced kittens of her own.’
‘Really? Alfie must love that.’
‘I’ve said he can keep two. I have to find homes for the other two. Our life is chaotic enough without four kittens.’ Patrick’s gaze settled on her face. ‘You really were brave, Stella. I know how much you love Dan. The fact that you held it together was nothing short of amazing.’
‘If you’d seen me two weeks later, you wouldn’t have thought I was amazing. I was in pieces.’
‘I’m not surprised.’
Talking about the past had removed any awkwardness between them. ‘I’m worried about how Daniel is going to react when he finds out that I’m living in your stable.’
‘I don’t care what he thinks.’ Tough, calm and sure of himself, Patrick removed the log from her hands. ‘My property. My decision.’
“Well, that’s a non-confrontational approach.’ Stella watched as he opened the wood-burning stove. ‘I don’t want to cause a problem between you. I don’t want you falling out over me.’
‘We have to fall out over something. It won’t be the first time it’s a woman. I still owe him for stealing Nancy Potter away from me when I was eight. I adored that girl. I’ve had a thing for pigtails ever since.’ His smile was slow and sexy and Stella wondered for the millionth time why she couldn’t have fallen for him instead of his brother.
You always have to do things the hard way, Stella.
Dismissing her mother’s voice from her head, Stella slid her hands into the back pockets of her jeans and forced herself to keep it light. ‘So—was this Nancy Potter pretty?’
‘She had red hair and a fierce temper.’
‘Sounds scary.’
‘Relationships are always scary.’
She wasn’t going to argue with that. ‘You and I both want the same out of life. I met you and Dan at exactly the same time, that week I started at the hospital five years ago. Why couldn’t you and I have fallen in love with each other?’
Patrick fed the log into the stove. ‘Because you’re a beautiful blonde and I hate stereotypes.’
Stella lifted a hand to her hair. ‘I could dye it black?’
‘Wouldn’t make any difference. There was never any chemistry between us.’
Stella watched his muscles flex as he reached for another log. ‘Do you remember that time you kissed me, just to check?’
‘Daniel punched me immediately afterwards.’ Patrick lit the fire. ‘He didn’t want you involved with me in case I hurt you.’
They exchanged a look, both thinking the same thing.
That, in the end, it had been Daniel who had hurt her.
‘Am I going to be able to do this?’ Stella was asking herself as much as him. ‘Am I going to be able to work alongside him every day and not wish I was with him?’
‘You tell me. Are you?’
Stella gave a murmur of frustration. ‘I don’t know. I hope so.’ She paced the length of the living room, hating herself for being so unsure and indecisive. ‘Yes, of course I can do it. And if it feels difficult—well, I just need to keep reminding myself that he and I don’t want the same things out of life.’
Patrick coaxed the flame to life. ‘You just need to keep reminding yourself that when it comes to women, Daniel is nothing but trouble. We Buchannans are seriously bad at relationships.’
‘You’re not.’
He rocked back on his heels. ‘I’m divorced, Stella.’
‘Your wife was clearly deranged.’
‘Or maybe I’m not easy to live with.’
‘No man is easy to live with,’ Stella said dryly. ‘You’re a different species. I just wish I’d listened to you when you warned me about Dan.’
‘It wouldn’t have made a difference. Women never listen when it comes to Daniel. It’s those blue eyes of his. For some reason I’ve never understood, he can seduce a woman with a single glance.’ Patrick stood up and brushed the dust from his long black coat. ‘I admire you. He wouldn’t give you marriage so you walked away. You refused to accept less than you deserve.’
Stella watched as the fire whispered and licked at the logs and then flared to life. ‘Why does that sound better than it feels?’
‘Because the right thing isn’t always the easy thing.’ Patrick studied her for a long moment. ‘Why now? Why did you come back now?’
As the room grew warmer, Stella unwound the scarf from her neck. ‘Because I hated London. Because two years is a long time. Because I worked here for three years and I miss all my friends. Because I can see how wrong Daniel was for me. And because I really am over him.’ Dear God, please let her be over him …
Patrick gave her a long, hard look. ‘If you’re over him, why haven’t you told him you’re back?’
Stella felt her heart lurch and she glanced from the stove to the exposed beams. ‘How did you find time to do this up?’
‘I didn’t. I just wrote cheques. And stop changing the subject.’
‘Why would I tell him I’m back? We haven’t had any contact since that nightmare Christmas two years ago. Not once.’ They’d been so close, and yet he hadn’t even contacted her to see how she was. ‘He doesn’t know I’m planning to live with his brother. He doesn’t know I’ve got a job in the emergency department. If I rang him and said I was coming back he might think I was dropping hints. Hoping to get back together or something. That would be awkward and embarrassing.’
‘So, instead, you’re going to walk into the emergency department tomorrow and surprise him.’ Patrick gave a sardonic smile. ‘I hate to disillusion you, angel, but I don’t think that approach is going to steer you away from awkward and embarrassing.’
‘Maybe not, but there won’t be an opportunity for conversation. There’s no time to talk about personal stuff in the emergency department, especially not at Christmas when it’s so busy.’ Stella flopped down on the comfortable sofa. ‘And one of the advantages of having been engaged for less than twenty-four hours is that most people didn’t know about it.’
Patrick spread his hands in a gesture of apology. ‘What can I say? Dan’s always shied away from commitment. Our parents’ marriage was ugly, you know that. Really ugly. Not an example anyone in their right mind would be in a hurry to follow.’
‘It didn’t stop you marrying.’
‘Maybe it should have done.’ His tone weary, Patrick walked to the window. ‘I suppose I wanted to create something I’d never had—I wanted the whole family thing. Dan just rejected it. And maybe he was the sensible one given that my ex-wife is now living in New York and my children no longer have a mother.’
‘I’m sorry about your divorce,’ Stella said softly, watching as Patrick’s broad shoulders tensed.
‘Don’t be sorry for me. I’m fine. It’s just the kids I worry about.’
‘I’m dying to see them. They won’t remember me.’
‘Alfie remembers you.’ Patrick turned with a smile. ‘He was eight when you left and you’ve been sending him thoughtful birthday presents. He’s dying to show you our kittens. And you won’t recognise Posy, she’s grown so much.’
‘I can’t believe she’s three.’
‘She’s very mischievous. Generally creating havoc.’
‘And what about you? Any women in your life?’
‘Thousands,’ Patrick drawled, a wicked gleam in his blue eyes. ‘I find I can’t get through the day without stripping at least one midwife naked.’
‘You can joke, but I happen to know that ninety-five per cent of the midwives in your department would be only too happy to be stripped naked by you.’
‘What am I doing wrong with the other five per cent?’
‘He’s a man.’
‘Ah.’ Laughing, he tilted his head. ‘Your turn to tell all. Did you find yourself a decent rebound relationship to cure you of my brother?’
Stella straightened her shoulders. ‘Not yet, but I’m working on it. It’s my Christmas present to myself. A love life. I’ve made a list.’
‘A list of men?’
‘No!’ Stella laughed. ‘A list of qualities. You know—things I won’t compromise on.’
‘Like tall, dark, handsome, rich …’ Realising what he’d said, Patrick threw her an apologetic look but Stella managed a smile.
‘That sounds too much like Dan,’ she said lightly. ‘I was thinking more of must want marriage and children.’ She glanced around her. ‘Does this place have an internet connection?’
‘High-speed broadband—why?’
‘Because I’ve joined an internet dating agency. I’ve decided that this time I’m going to be more analytical about the whole thing. It was crazy, falling for Daniel. He had “unsuitable” stamped on his forehead. If I’d made him fill out a questionnaire he never would have passed “go”. This time I’m weeding out all the men who aren’t right for me. I posted a description of myself last month and I’ve had three hundred and fifty replies.’
‘You’re going to be busy.’
‘Maybe you should do the same thing?’
‘I don’t have time to date. Between the children, the kittens and the hospital, I’m lucky if I sleep. And, anyway, I wouldn’t expose the kids to another woman. Too complicated. Talking of which, I’d better get going. The labour ward rang half an hour ago to warn me they have a woman who isn’t progressing as she should be. I need to check her out.’ Patrick scooped the keys from the table and handed them to her. ‘These are for you. You’re my first tenant so if there’s anything I need to know about the place, just tell me. They’re forecasting constant snow between now and Christmas so if the heating isn’t high enough, light the fire or adjust the thermostat.’
‘I’ll light the fire. It’s so cosy. And if you need any babysitting, I’m right here. It’s so good to be home. I’ve been away too long.’
‘I hope you don’t find it isolated after city life. If you’re internet dating, surely you’re more likely to find Mr Right in London?’
‘I don’t think so.’ Stella stared at the craggy outline of the mountains in the distance. ‘This place is in my blood. I need a man who understands that. A man who loves it as much as I do.’
‘Well, I wish you luck.’ Patrick strolled towards the door and Stella turned to look at him.
‘Just one thing …’ Her heart pounding, she tried to sound casual. ‘Is Daniel seeing anyone?’
Patrick paused with his hand on the doorhandle. ‘Are you sure you want me to answer that question?’
‘Yes.’ Stella licked her lips. ‘I’d rather hear it from you. It will be easier if I’m prepared.’
‘He is seeing someone.’ Patrick’s voice was gentle and his eyes held hers. ‘She’s a lawyer. Career-woman. Workaholic. About as maternal as a cactus.’
‘Oh. OK.’ Feeling suddenly cold, Stella rubbed her hands over her arms. Because Patrick was watching her intently, she smiled. ‘She sounds perfect for him. Not the sort to want marriage and a family. That’s good. Great. Really, I mean it. I—I’m glad he’s happy.’
Patrick studied her face for a long time and then he opened the door, letting in a blast of ice-cold air. ‘I said he was seeing someone. I said she reminded me of a cactus. I never said that he was happy.’
And, with that cryptic comment and an enigmatic smile, he closed the door behind him.

CHAPTER ONE
‘THE mountain rescue team are bringing in a boy who slipped on a school adventure trip. It was a very tricky rescue, by all accounts. He was wedged in a steep gully, too badly injured to move. And the weather was too bad for the helicopter to winch him out.’ Ellie, the emergency department sister, checked the notes she’d made. ‘Nasty compound fracture of the tibial shaft. I’m guessing that the poor boy had more adventure than he was planning for.’
‘Oh, the poor thing!’ Stella felt a stab of sympathy. ‘So how did they get him out?’
‘One of the team abseiled down into the gully. Sat in the freezing cold with him and figured out a way to achieve the impossible,’ Ellie said dryly. ‘Heroic rescue by all accounts. I was hoping you’d take this one for me. It might be a bit complicated and you were always good with complicated. It’s so good to have you back. I missed you. Did they teach you anything new in that fancy hospital in London?’
‘Only how to deal with stabbings and gunshot wounds, which isn’t a lot of use up here in Cumbria. I missed you, too, and I can’t wait to catch up properly.’ Her friendship with Ellie was another reason she’d come back. ‘We ought to go out. Pizza? Movie?’
‘Both!’ Ellie hugged her. ‘But it will have to be early. I have to be in bed by nine or I can’t function. The kids are exhausting at the moment.’
Stella felt a sudden stab of envy. ‘I can’t wait to see them. Are they looking forward to Christmas?’
‘Are you joking? They’re so over-excited they can’t sleep and there’s still another three weeks to go. Ben and I will be frayed by Christmas Eve.’
But frayed in a good way, Stella thought wistfully, longing for the chance to be similarly frayed. She wouldn’t want to sleep if she had a baby. She’d just want to lie awake all night, staring in wonder.
‘I’ll go and prepare Resus.’ Knowing that it was stupid to dwell on what she didn’t have, Stella walked with Ellie towards the resuscitation room. ‘So which one of the team performed the daring rescue? Was it your Ben?’
‘No.’ Ellie pushed open the doors to Resus. ‘It was your Dan.’
Stella stopped, feeling as though her heart had been left two metres behind her body. ‘Daniel?’
‘Yes. He’s bringing the boy in now.’ Ellie peered at her face. ‘I think you’ve just answered my next question, which was going to be, “Are you still in love with him?”’
‘I’m not in love with him.’
‘This is me you’re talking to.’
‘I’m not in love with him.’
‘All right, we’ll argue about that some other time. For now what I need to know is whether you can work with him.’
Stella was grateful for the acting classes she’d taken as a child. They helped her pull her features into an expression that said ‘unconcerned’.
In less than five minutes she was going to see him. This was the moment she’d been dreading. The whole thing felt like some sort of test. How far had she come? Had she recovered enough to be able to look at Daniel and not want him? Aware that some sort of response was required, she nodded. ‘I can work with him. He’s a very talented doctor.’ She consoled herself with the fact that at least the second half of that sentence wasn’t a lie. ‘Why would it be a problem?’
Ellie sighed and then gave her a quick hug. ‘Stella, this is a big thing for you, I know. I watched you fall in love with Dan. I know what he meant to you.’
‘And you watched when it fell apart.’
‘You were engaged.’
‘For about five minutes. Two years ago. Big mistake. I don’t intend to repeat it. Dan and I are history.’ Stella pulled away from her. ‘And I have a date tomorrow. He calls himself “Caring of Cumbria”. Blond, sensitive, loves romantic nights in by the fire and is looking for a long-term relationship with the right woman.’
Ellie laughed. ‘Sounds the complete opposite of Dangerous Dan.’
‘Who is dark, insensitive, likes hot sex by the fire and short-term relationships with the wrong women. You see? If I’d analysed him properly I would have run a mile.’ Gaining confidence from that thought, Stella walked across the room. ‘All right, what am I likely to need?’
‘Do you want me to hang around?’
‘In case we kill each other?’ Stella pulled on an apron and a pair of gloves. ‘I hope we’ll be more civilised than that. Is there anything else I should know about the patient?’
‘Dan will tell you when he gets here. He’s going to deal with it himself.’ With that unsettling announcement, Ellie hurried out of the room and seconds later the door swung open again.
The man guiding the stretcher into the room was tall and powerfully built, his outdoor clothing adding bulk to his muscular shoulders. ‘All right, Sam.’ His voice was calm and confident as he talked to the boy. ‘Now I’ve got some proper equipment, I can make you a bit more comfortable.’ He turned to the two junior doctors who were flanking him. ‘I put a line in at the scene, but I want you to get another one in straight away. He’s had morphine and the leg is splinted. I need another bag of fluid and …’ Daniel glanced up, saw Stella and lost his thread.
Their relationship had begun with a single look, a single look that had altered the future for both of them.
Non-verbal communication had been their speciality—a knowing glance, a touch, a smile that was more of a promise—and if she’d hoped that the damage that lay behind them would have changed anything, she was disappointed.
The sudden jolt of chemistry was powerful enough to have Stella reaching out to hold the side of the trolley. It was as if she’d touched a high-voltage cable and a thousand memories shot through her, all of them including a man with ice-blue eyes and a dangerously sexy smile.
But the smile wasn’t in evidence today.
His lean, handsome face was serious, his expression doing nothing to soften the hardness of the man.
It was unfortunate that he’d come straight from a rescue, Stella thought weakly. Stubble suited him. The first thing she’d done every morning had been to drag her fingers over the darkness of his jaw, just before she’d kissed him …
Her stomach took a dive. ‘Hello, Daniel.’
He unzipped the neck of his jacket roughly, as if it was choking him. ‘Stella?’ His voice was hoarse and shocked and suddenly she couldn’t breathe because the memories were out of control.
His breath hot on her neck; his skilled, knowing hands on her trembling body; that same husky voice murmuring her name.
She gazed back at him, the only man who’d ever had this effect on her.
In London she’d hoped to meet someone who would make her forget Daniel. But how did you forget a face as absurdly handsome as his? How did you forget six feet two of arrogant masculinity? Who, out of the many doctors she’d met during her period of self-imposed exile, would have been capable of abseiling into a narrow ravine and masterminding the rescue of a severely injured boy?
Who would have had the ability to make her care so much that when it had ended, part of her had ceased to function?
Remembering the agony was what saved her. Stella turned back to the patient, reminding herself that ‘Caring of Cumbria’ liked long walks and was looking for commitment. ‘Hello, Sam.’ She walked over to the stretcher and smiled at the white-faced boy. ‘I hear you’ve had a bit of an exciting day.’
He looked impossibly young and he turned his head to look at Daniel, fear and hero-worship mingling in his eyes. ‘You promised you wouldn’t leave me. You said—’
‘I know what I said.’ Daniel’s voice was rough and he curved his hand over the boy’s shoulder. ‘And I’m not leaving you. But I do need to try and sort out that leg of yours. Trust me. Just do as I say and you’re going to be all right.’
Always In control. Always in charge.
Trust me.
Stella gritted her teeth. Trust me to break your heart. But she noticed that his hand stayed on the boy’s shoulder, providing the contact and reassurance that was so obviously needed as he gave the other doctors a series of instructions.
She guided the stretcher alongside the trolley. ‘We’re just going to move you across, Sam.’
‘You’re working here?’ Daniel’s harsh interruption made her flinch and Stella gently removed the blanket covering the boy.
Wasn’t it obvious? ‘I’ve called the radiologist.’
‘Wait.’ His hand covered hers, stopping her. ‘We move him on my count, not before.’
She’d forgotten what it was like, working with him. When he was in Resus, he was the one in command. Which was why this particular hospital had such impressive success rates, she thought dryly. Her heart thumping, Stella glanced down at the strength of his fingers covering hers and gently eased her hand away. ‘Fine. On your count.’
Registering her withdrawal, his jaw tensed and his eyes narrowed dangerously. ‘Why did no one tell me you were back?’
‘Because the medical staff aren’t usually interested in nursing appointments,’ Stella said calmly, wondering if he was even aware that the other medical staff in the room were watching them, wondering what was going on.
Nothing was going on, she told herself firmly. Nothing, except an awkward first meeting.
They transferred the boy from stretcher to trolley, and Daniel gave Stella a fulminating look that warned her that the conversation was far from over. Then he turned back to the frightened child and proceeded to demonstrate how he’d earned his reputation as a ferociously talented emergency doctor.
Maintaining a casual flow of conversation that distracted the boy, he examined him thoroughly, his skilled hands looking for injuries he hadn’t already identified
‘How’s that pain, Sam?’
‘It’s OK.’ But the boy’s face was grey and Daniel glanced towards one of his colleagues.
‘Is that line in yet?’
‘Just about to do that now.’ The more junior doctor was obviously keen to ask questions. ‘So what’s the Gustilo classification? Was there extensive tissue loss? Much bone exposure? This is an orthopaedic emergency, right?’ His tactless observation drew a terrified sound from the boy and he clutched Daniel’s arm.
‘I feel sick.’
Panic, Stella thought to herself and Daniel gave him a warm smile.
‘You’re doing fine, Sam. I’m not worried and if I’m not worried, you don’t need to be worried.’ He glanced towards the doctor who had spoken and Stella saw his eyes narrow dangerously. ‘Get that line in,’ he murmured softly, ‘and I’ll talk to you about the case later.’
And about other things, Stella thought to herself. Daniel Buchannan was too much of a perfectionist to allow the younger doctor’s slip to pass without comment.
‘Just breathe for me, Sam,’ she said softly. ‘I’m going to attach these wires to you so that we can monitor your pulse and blood pressure without having to disturb you.’
The boy looked at her gratefully. ‘You probably think I’m a baby.’
‘Babies don’t climb in Devil’s Gully.’ Stella wrapped the blood-pressure cuff around his arm. ‘I’ve seen it from the top. Never had the nerve to go down.’
Sam closed his eyes. ‘My mum is going to kill me.’
‘She’ll just be glad you’re all right.’ Stella looked at the monitor, noticing the rapid pulse rate and the low blood pressure. She looked at Daniel and he inclined his head briefly, but said nothing that would worry the boy.
‘I’m going to give you something else for the pain and sickness in just a moment, Sam,’ he said gently, checking the boy’s abdomen. ‘Stella, I want to do a FAST scan. There might be some bleeding here.’
Stella reached for the machine, still talking to the boy. ‘I can’t believe you climbed that bit of the mountain,’ she said briskly, reaching for the drugs that Daniel was going to need. ‘It’s a tricky route, even in summer. Steep.’ She talked as she worked, keeping the boy’s attention.
‘It was snowy and I went too close to the edge.’
Picturing the scene, Stella suppressed a shudder. The boy had been lucky to escape with his life. Knowing the harsh, unforgiving terrain, she also knew that Daniel must have risked his own life to save the child. ‘That story is going to get you lots of sympathy over Christmas,’ she said lightly. ‘And bigger presents.’
The child’s face brightened slightly. ‘Do you think so?’
‘I’m sure.’ Stella grinned and put the syringes on a tray. ‘Start planning your Christmas list now.’
The boy managed a smile and then groaned as a spasm of pain took hold. The groan turned to a sob and he looked at Daniel, his eyes terrified. ‘Am I going to die? I feel sick. And dizzy. Like everything is far away.’
When he needed reassurance, he looked at Daniel, Stella noticed. He’d bonded with the man who had saved his life.
‘You’re not going to die.’ Daniel spoke firmly, his hand still on the boy’s shoulder. ‘If patients die, I get fired. And I need the money.’
The sound the boy made was halfway between laughter and a sob. ‘To run that fancy sports car you told me about?’
‘Yeah—that and other things.’
‘Women?’
Daniel’s eyes gleamed. ‘They’re expensive things, women.’ Without moving his eyes from the patient, he held out his hand and Stella slipped the syringe into it, knowing exactly what he wanted.
‘Morphine and cyclizine.’
‘I know my leg is a mess,’ Sam murmured, still looking at Daniel. ‘I saw it before you put the splint on. It looked disgusting. And that other doctor said it was a medical emergency.’
‘It’s nothing we can’t deal with,’ Daniel said smoothly, checking the drug before administering it. ‘Take no notice of my colleague. We doctors love drama—makes us feel powerful and important. Don’t you watch the TV? It’s how we pull the girls. There’s a pretty nurse in the room. He’s trying to impress her.’
The boy gave a weak grin. ‘Those medical dramas mostly make me feel sick.’
‘Me, too,’ Daniel said blithely, dropping the empty syringe back onto the tray. ‘Probably why I’m still single. I haven’t got what it takes to pull the girls. All right, Sam, this is what we’re going to do. I’ve just given you another dose of medicine for pain and sickness because I can see that’s starting to bother you again. And now my friend here is going to put another needle in your vein.’
The boy’s eyes closed. ‘I still feel sick.’
‘That will pass in a minute,’ Daniel murmured, his gaze flickering to the monitor that displayed the boy’s pulse and blood pressure. ‘I’m right here, Sam. Don’t you worry. Everything is going to be fine. In three weeks’ time, you’re going to be eating your turkey and opening those presents.’
How could he possibly think he wouldn’t make a good father? Stella wondered numbly. For a man who claimed to know nothing about children, he was astonishingly empathetic.
Sam obviously agreed because he never took his eyes from Daniel’s face. ‘I’ll never forget you climbing down that slippery bit,’ the boy mumbled. ‘You deserve a medal or something.’
Daniel grinned, moving to one side while the radiologist prepared to take the X-rays. ‘Unfortunately I never get what I deserve. What was your reward supposed to be for battling through the snow and wind?’
‘My adventure badge. But I don’t suppose I’ll get it now because I didn’t finish the trip.’ The boy moaned as the radiologist moved his leg slightly. ‘I wish I’d never signed up for it.’
‘You were unlucky, that’s all. When you’re recovered give me a call and I’ll take you up there. The views are fantastic from the top. You’ll get your adventure badge—I’m sure about that.’ Daniel was working, examining the boy properly and murmuring instructions in a voice so calm that the boy remained unaware of the seriousness of his injuries. ‘Stella, how are the distal pulses?’
‘Strong.’ Stella checked that the blood supply to the lower limb was satisfactory while the casualty officer secured the second line and took the bloods that Daniel had ordered.
‘Do you want me to uncover the wound and take a photograph?’
‘I did that at the scene. I don’t want the dressing removed. The next time that wound is being exposed to air is in the operating theatre. Camera in my left pocket.’ Daniel turned slightly so that Stella could retrieve it and she tensed as she plunged her hand into his pocket.
His eyes met hers for a moment and she backed away, her fingers clutching the camera.
‘Antibiotics and tetanus,’ Daniel said roughly, and Stella turned away to prepare the drugs, knowing that her face was pink.
This was turning out to be much, much harder than she’d anticipated.
Was this going to get easier with time?
She certainly hoped so.
It wasn’t the working together that was the problem—that was as smooth as ever. It was the emotion behind it. It was impossible to switch off.
‘Daniel?’ Ellie put her head round the door, her face worried. ‘I know you’re not officially on duty but we’re having a nightmare out here. I suppose it’s the snow and ice—the roads are lethal. I’ve got a pregnant woman coming in. She and her husband were involved in a car accident. Might you be able to—?’
‘Yes. As long as she doesn’t mind being seen by a doctor in full outdoor gear.’ Daniel injected the antibiotic into the cannula, his eyes on his patient’s face. ‘I’ve been in the mountains for eight hours. At some point I need to get back to base, drop the equipment and debrief. Where is everyone else? What’s the ETA of your pregnant woman?’
‘Ambulance Control just phoned. She’s about eight minutes away.’
‘That should give me time to get Sam down to Theatre. Give me a shout when she arrives.’ Daniel glanced at Stella. ‘Any sign of the orthopaedic guys?’
‘We’re here.’ A slim man with sandy-coloured hair hurried into the room. ‘Sorry. Black ice has kept us busy. I’ve only just got out of Theatre.’ He looked at Daniel’s bulky outdoor gear. ‘Is this a new uniform for the emergency department?’
‘Daniel?’ The boy’s hand shot out and clutched Daniel’s arm again. There was fear in his eyes. ‘Are they going to put me to sleep? Will I feel anything? Did you get hold of my mum?’
‘They are going to put you to sleep and, no, you won’t feel anything.’ Daniel’s voice was soft. ‘I spoke to your mum. She’s on her way.’
‘Will you stay with me until she gets here?’
A muscle worked in Daniel’s dark jaw. ‘Are you kidding? You’re wearing half my equipment—and it’s the expensive half. There’s no way I’m letting you out of my sight. We’re going to take you straight to Theatre and get that leg of yours stuck back together in time for Christmas.’ His glaze flickered to his colleague. ‘Are you ready?’
‘You’re coming, too?’ The man looked startled but Daniel’s gaze was cool.
‘I’ll stay with him until he’s under.’
The orthopaedic surgeon picked up the charts and gave a brief nod. ‘All right. Well, you’re obviously needed back here, so let’s move.’
‘If my pregnant patient was eight minutes away three minutes ago then I have five minutes.’ Daniel glanced at his watch. ‘I’ll be back in five minutes.’
He’d been out on an exposed mountainside for eight hours and he had five minutes in which he could have grabbed a hot drink. Instead he was going to accompany a frightened child to the anaesthetic room.
Stella gritted her teeth. All the reasons why she’d fallen in love with Daniel in the first place were still there. Nothing had changed.
‘Go.’ She started clearing Resus. ‘I’ll sort things out here.’
She barely had time to run through another bag of fluid and restock, before the paramedics arrived with the pregnant woman. After listening to the handover by the paramedics, Stella tried to make her patient more comfortable.
Her face was bleeding slightly from several small lacerations and a livid bruise was already forming over one cheekbone. ‘I’m so worried about the baby. We’ve been trying for five years—’ Her voice broke and she rubbed her hand over her swollen abdomen. ‘If anything happens to him I’ll—’
‘We’re going to check you and the baby, Fiona,’ Stella soothed, glancing towards the door as Daniel strode in. ‘This is Dr Buchannan, one of our consultants.’
Fiona looked in astonishment at Daniel’s outdoor clothing and he shrugged.
‘It’s cold in this department,’ he drawled, and she gave a choked laugh.
‘I read an article about you last summer. You’re one of three doctors in the emergency department that volunteer for the mountain rescue team.’
‘That’s right.’ Daniel glanced at the monitor that Stella had connected to the patient, tracking the readings. ‘There’s Sean Nicholson, although we do keep telling him he’s getting a bit too old for tramping up in the hills. And there’s Ben—both of whom are treating other patients, which is why you have me. Technically I’m off duty but there’s no rest for the wicked. I see Stella’s already given you oxygen.’ He turned to Stella. ‘I’d forgotten what it’s like to work with a nurse who is always one step ahead of me.’
Stella’s hands trembled slightly as she attached Fiona to the CTG machine. ‘This will help us get a feel for how your baby is doing.’ She adjusted the elastic until she was satisfied with the reading. ‘Daniel—do you want me to call Obstetrics and get someone down here?’
‘I’ll take a look at her first. Monitors only tell you so much—I learned that lesson as a medical student when the monitor told me a woman wasn’t having contractions. She delivered the baby five minutes later. I was more shocked than she was.’ Daniel took off his jacket, washed his hands and pulled on a pair of gloves. ‘Have you had any problems in the pregnancy, Fiona? Anything you think I should know about?’
If sexual attraction was enough to hold two people together then they would have stuck like glue, Stella thought helplessly, watching the flex of his biceps as he worked.
‘It’s all been really easy.’ Fiona twisted her wedding ring round her finger. ‘I’ve been doing everything by the book. It’s our first baby. And I’m terrified.’ Her voice wobbled. ‘Do you have kids?’
Stella’s gaze met Daniel’s briefly.
‘No.’ There was a sudden coolness to his tone. ‘I don’t.’
‘It changes you,’ Fiona said simply. ‘All I care about is this baby. I suppose that’s part of being a mother.’
Daniel didn’t respond and Stella stayed silent, too.
Marriage, motherhood, maternity—Daniel’s three least favourite topics of conversation. And she should know. They’d had that conversation on numerous memorable occasions. Memorable for all the wrong reasons.
‘It’s natural to be concerned about the baby.’ Daniel spoke the words the woman needed to hear, but Stella sensed that part of him was detached.
‘Babies are surprisingly resilient,’ she reassured the woman. ‘And we’re going to check him very carefully.’
Daniel conducted a thorough examination and Stella knew that he’d shut the conversation out of his mind with ruthless efficiency. He was looking for clinical signs that might suggest a problem. He wasn’t thinking about babies or emotion.
He was palpating Fiona’s abdomen when she gave a little gasp of fright and shifted on the trolley.
‘Oh!’ Her eyes widened with panic. ‘I think I’m bleeding. Oh, God, am I losing it? Please don’t say I’m losing the baby.’
More comfortable with a medical emergency than an emotional one, Daniel was cool and calm as he examined her. ‘Stella—give my brother a call, will you? Tell him I need him down here.’
Meeting his gaze briefly, Stella moved to the phone and spoke to Switchboard.
Fiona put her hand over her eyes and started to cry. ‘I can’t believe I’m bleeding. I wish I’d never left the house. We were going Christmas shopping. I know there’s another three weeks to go but I wanted to get it out of the way in case something happens. And now I’ve made it happen.’ Great tearing sobs shook her body and Stella slipped her arm around the woman’s shoulders, trying to imagine how she’d feel in the same position.
‘You haven’t made anything happen,’ she soothed. ‘You must try and calm down, for the baby’s sake.’
‘If I lose this baby—’
‘Fiona.’ Daniel reached for an IV tray, nothing in his voice betraying the fact that he was concerned. ‘I want you to relax and trust me. My brother is one of the best obstetricians in the country and he will take a look at you.’
‘One of the best?’ Patrick strode into the room, a mocking gleam in his eyes as he looked at Daniel. ‘I’m not one of the best. I’m the best.’
Fiona blinked in shock and Stella sighed.
‘Yes, they’re twins. Don’t worry, you’re not seeing double. Both of them as arrogant as the other.’
Fiona gave a feeble smile. ‘Are they as good as they seem to think they are?’
‘Fortunately, yes.’ Stella adjusted one of the probes. ‘Or maybe I should say unfortunately. I don’t know. It makes them unbearable to be with, but I suppose it’s good for the patients. Patrick? Do you want to take a look at this CTG trace?’
‘I’m looking.’ Patrick stood next to her, studying the trace in silence. ‘All right—so there are a few dips there.’
Stella looked up and found Daniel glancing between her and Patrick. Then he focused on his brother’s profile, so like his own. His jaw tightened, his blue eyes glittered dangerously and Stella felt a rush of trepidation. He’d obviously registered the fact that Patrick hadn’t been surprised to see her.
Patrick looked up and met his brother’s accusing gaze.
They were like a couple of stallions, Stella thought with exasperation, locked in a battle over territory. The interaction lasted less than a few seconds, but the impact was sufficiently powerful to leave her nervous of what was to come.
Why couldn’t she have fallen in love with someone mild and gentle?
Pivoting back to the patient, Daniel fastened a tourniquet around Fiona’s arm. ‘I’m just going to put a cannula in your vein, in case we need to give you some fluid. Can you straighten your arm for me?’
‘Stella—can I have a pen?’ While Daniel set up an IV, Patrick was examining the woman’s abdomen. ‘I want to mark the height of her uterus.’
Stella swiftly provided him with a pen, wishing she’d never accepted Patrick’s offer of accommodation. It was going to cause problems, just as she’d feared. She should have stayed somewhere else.
Then she frowned, cross with herself. The stable was lovely. And she could live anywhere she chose to live. It was none of Daniel’s business.
And if it was difficult for him—well, tough.
He didn’t care, did he?
‘Why are you drawing on me?’ Fiona looked at Patrick anxiously and he slipped the pen into his pocket.
‘You’ve had some blood loss. It’s possible for some of the blood loss to be concealed, trapped behind the uterus. I want to make sure your uterus isn’t bigger than it should be. Dan, is there anything else I should know about? Any neck injury? Spine?’
‘No.’
‘Then I want her nursed in the left lateral position.’
‘Fine. I’m nearly done here.’ Daniel filled the necessary bottles and dropped them on the tray.
Stella stepped forward and helped him connect the IV, the casual brush of his arm against hers sending a shower of sparks over her.
And he noticed her reaction.
His eyes shifted to her face. As a doctor, he was trained to detect changes in the human body and he was a man who knew women. A man who knew her.
‘Everything all right?’
‘Everything is fine,’ she said sweetly, wishing he wasn’t quite so astute. Nothing passed him by. Nothing. And as much as she’d hoped that working together would be smooth and easy, it was turning out to be anything but.
Focusing on the pain that went alongside loving Daniel Buchannan, Stella murmured words of comfort to Fiona and helped her turn on her side.
‘Why do I have to lie like this?’
‘Because lying flat on your back puts pressure on one of your major blood vessels and that’s not good for the baby.’ Patrick checked the baby’s heart rate. ‘That’s better. Thanks, Stella. That’s great.’
Daniel shot him a look. ‘It’s good to have Stella back, isn’t it?’ There was an edge to his tone that wasn’t lost on his brother.
‘Definitely.’ Playing with fire, Patrick smiled. ‘I was so pleased when she called me to talk through her plans.’
Stella threw him an incredulous glance. What was he doing? He appeared to be asking for a black eye for Christmas.
‘You didn’t mention it.’ Daniel adjusted the IV. ‘It must have slipped your mind.’
‘Nothing slips my mind. I just didn’t think you’d be interested.’ Calmly, Patrick checked the monitor. ‘What bloods have you taken?’
‘U&Es, FBC, cross-match, BMG, coagulation screen, rhesus and antibody status and Kleihauer—why? Did I miss something?’
‘No.’ Ignoring the snap in his brother’s tone, Patrick winked at the patient. ‘Now he’ll be unbearable.’
Fiona shifted the oxygen mask slightly. ‘Twins, both of you doctors.’ She sounded amazed. ‘One of you is an emergency specialist and one of you is an obstetrician?’
‘That’s right. My brother is the emergency specialist.’ Patrick looked at Daniel. ‘The work suits his personality. Quick and dirty. All superficial, no depth or emotion.’
Daniel’s firm mouth flickered into a smile. ‘That’s how I prefer it.’
While they bantered, the two brothers worked together seamlessly, exchanging information, conducting tests. Then Patrick moved to the side of the trolley and put his hand on Fiona’s shoulder.
‘Fiona, I think there could be some concealed bleeding behind your uterus.’ He spoke gently, knowing that the news he was giving wasn’t going to be well received. ‘At the moment everything is fine and I’m not going to interfere, but I want to transfer you to the labour ward, just to be safe. We can monitor you there and if we need to intervene, we can.’
Fiona shifted on the trolley. ‘What’s causing the bleeding?’
‘It’s possible that a small part of the placenta has come away from the uterus—we call it an abruption. I want to keep you in hospital for now, see how things develop.’
Fiona swallowed. ‘And if it gets worse?’
‘Then I will deliver your baby.’
‘But the baby isn’t due until January.’ Panic drove her voice up a pitch. ‘I have another six weeks to go.’
‘All the indications are that the baby is fine,’ Patrick said calmly. ‘And thirty-four weeks is early, that’s true, but not so early that I’d be worried. We have an excellent special care baby unit here—we call it the SCBU—but at thirty-four weeks your baby might not need any extra help. Let’s see how you go. My plan is to keep him inside you as long as possible.’
Fiona’s face crumpled and she started to cry again. ‘But this wasn’t my plan. I’ve been reading all the books—I’ve gone to all the classes—I know exactly how I want my labour to be.’
Stella picked up a box of tissues, about to intervene, but Patrick took Fiona’s hand in his. ‘It’s hard when things don’t go according to plan,’ he said gruffly. ‘I really understand that. It happened with Posy, my youngest, and it shook me up. Nightmare. Nature has a way of keeping us all on our toes, but all that really matters is that the baby is safe, Fiona. Remember that.’
‘Babies can die if they’re premature.’
‘There is no evidence that your baby is in trouble. And from now on I’m going to be watching you.’ Patrick pulled a couple of tissues from the box Stella was holding and handed them to Fiona. ‘Once you have kids, life rarely goes according to plan. Chaos is part of the fun. Or that’s what I tell myself when I’m tripping over children, kittens and unwrapped Christmas presents.’
Stella felt a lump in her throat. Tripping over children, kittens and unwrapped Christmas presents sounded like paradise to her. ‘Is there anyone else I can call for you, Fiona?’ Stella yanked her mind back from its fruitless journey towards a dead end. ‘Your husband is just having a few stitches in his head and then I’ll bring him to wherever you are.’
‘I keep thinking that this is all my fault. Perhaps I shouldn’t have worn the seat belt—’
‘Wearing a seat belt is the right thing to do,’ Daniel said firmly. ‘Contrary to popular opinion, wearing a seat belt does lower the risk of serious injury. Fiona, just relax and trust us. Patrick will make whatever decision needs to be made and it will be the right one, believe me.’
Patrick lifted his eyebrow. ‘You’re saying I’m always right?’
Despite her tears, Fiona gave a choked laugh. ‘Are they always like this?’
‘No, sometimes they’re really bad,’ Stella said cheerfully, squeezing Fiona’s hand. ‘I’ll come with you up to the ward. Then I’ll go and check on your husband. He must be worried sick.’
‘He feels horribly guilty, but it wasn’t his fault. The roads are lethal.’
‘I’ll go and see him as soon as we’ve settled you upstairs,’ Stella assured her. ‘Is there anyone else I can call?’
Fiona closed her eyes. ‘My mum? No, not my mum. You’ll just worry her. No one for the time being. But thanks. You’ve all been really kind.’
‘Let’s get you upstairs.’ Patrick moved the trolley towards the door and Daniel’s gaze settled on his face.
‘I want to talk to you.’
Patrick smiled. ‘I bet you do. But I’m busy, so it’s going to have to wait.’
Daniel strode down the corridor, his tension levels in the danger zone after six hours of working shoulder to shoulder with Stella. Six hours of torture. At one point she’d leaned forward to pass him an instrument and he’d detected the faint smell of roses. Knowing that it was the shampoo she always used had set up a chain reaction in his brain. Thinking about the shampoo had made him think about her hair, long and loose. And thinking about her hair long and loose had made him think about her in his bed. And thinking about her in his bed had—
Daniel ruthlessly deleted that thought from his mind, but it immediately popped back again, taunting and teasing his senses until he gave a low growl of frustration, oblivious to the pretty nurse who gazed at him as she hurried past.
Without slackening his stride, he took the six flights of stairs up to the obstetric unit, too impatient to wait for the lift.
Nodding briefly to a consultant he knew, he made straight for his brother’s office and pushed open the door.
‘You knew Stella was coming back and you didn’t tell me?’
Patrick leaned back in his chair and lifted an eyebrow. ‘Next time, knock. I could have had a naked woman in here.’
Daniel planted his hands on the edge of his brother’s desk, struggling with his temper. ‘Damn it, Patrick—just how long have you been communicating with my ex-girlfriend?’
Patrick closed the file he’d been reading. ‘Your ex-fiancée,’ he said with gentle emphasis, ‘and I’ve been “communicating” with her since you unceremoniously dumped her. On Christmas Eve. Not exactly the present she’d been hoping for, I’m sure.’
Daniel felt a sudden rush of cold. ‘Why are you bringing that up now? That’s history.’
‘If it’s history, why are you standing in my office threatening me?’
Daniel dragged his hand through his hair. ‘I didn’t dump her. She dumped me.’
Patrick stood up abruptly, impatience making his eye flash a deep blue. ‘After you told her you wouldn’t marry her.’
‘Not wouldn’t—couldn’t. It isn’t that I don’t want to get married,’ Daniel said hoarsely, ‘I do. But I can’t. I just can’t do it. I would make a lousy husband and a terrible father and I won’t do that to a child.’ Sweat tingled on his brow as he thought of how close he’d come to breaking his promise to himself. Only Stella could have driven him to that. ‘I can’t be what she wants me to be. I did it for her.’
‘Funny. She didn’t appear that grateful last time I looked.’
‘She should be grateful. Better to let her down now than in five years’ time.’ Or at least, that’s what he’d told himself when he’d driven the scalpel through her heart.
Trying to dispel that image, Daniel pressed his fingers into the bridge of his nose and Patrick sighed.
‘Why would you have let her down?’
‘Being a mother is really important to Stella. Sometimes I think it’s the only thing that matters to her.’ Trying to get a grip on his emotions, Daniel clamped his hands over the edge of Patrick’s desk. ‘And I knew I couldn’t be what she wanted me to be. She has this picture in her head—the perfect family. Mum, Dad, lots of kids—probably a dog or two.’ He gritted his teeth. ‘And I’m not the guy in that picture. Fatherhood is the one job I’m not going to try. You mess that up, you take people with you.’
‘I happen to think you wouldn’t mess it up,’ Patrick replied calmly, ‘but I know you believe it. Which is why I didn’t knock your head off two years ago.’
Daniel straightened. ‘So you agree I did the right thing.’
‘No. But I know you think you did. And I didn’t want to watch you self-destruct and take Stella with you. She is a rare, special person. The sort of woman who would be by your side no matter what life throws at you. She wants marriage and a family—and she’ll make someone a fantastic wife and mother.’
‘And is that “someone” going to be you?’ Anger roared through him like fire through a parched forest and Daniel strode around the desk and grabbed his brother by the shoulders. ‘You’re in need of a wife and a mother for your children—is Stella going to fill that slot? Is that why she’s back?’
Patrick didn’t flinch. ‘You’ve just said you’re not interested. Why would you care?’
‘I never said I didn’t care.’ Daniel let his hands drop, stunned by his own reaction. Since when had he picked fights with his twin? ‘I just don’t think you’re the right man for Stella.’
‘I don’t think you’re qualified to judge. Relationships aren’t your speciality, are they?’
Daniel stared at his brother for a long moment and then breathed out slowly. ‘You’re not having a relationship, are you? You’re just winding me up.’
‘Why would that wind you up? You decided you’re not good for Stella. Right or wrong, that means she’s free to be with another man. And with her long legs and her sweet nature, they’re going to be beating her door down. You’d better get used to it.’
Sweat pricking his forehead, Daniel tried to imagine getting used seeing Stella with another man. ‘That’s fine. No problem. I just don’t want her mixed up with someone unsuitable. She’s pretty innocent.’
‘She went out with you for two years,’ Patrick reminded him dryly, ‘so she can’t be that innocent.’
Thinking about the steam and sizzle that had characterised their relationship, Daniel suddenly felt a rush of dangerous heat. The thought of Stella with another man made his stomach churn. ‘I just don’t want some man messing her around.’
‘Like you did? Don’t worry—if she survived you, she’ll survive anyone.’ Patrick strolled back to his desk and sat down. He took a set of notes from a pile and reached for a pencil. ‘I need to do some work.’
‘Why is she back?’
‘Obviously she’s got over you and felt able to come home. She has friends here.’ Patrick scanned some results, scribbled something onto the notes and dropped them in a tray ready to be collected. ‘A life.’
A life that didn’t include him. ‘And you’re one of those friends?’
‘Of course. I’ve known her as long as you have. She was my friend, as well as yours. She made Christmas for us that year you and Carly had your own mini-meltdowns.’ He looked at Daniel, a warning in his gaze. ‘I’ll never forget how she picked herself up and got on with things. Her heart was breaking but she still managed to dance around the house wearing antlers to make my son laugh.’
‘She was always good with children. That was our problem. All Stella ever wanted was children.’ And children were the last thing he wanted. Daniel stared at the row of photographs of his niece and nephew that Patrick had hung on the wall. Alfie and Posy giggling on a sledge. The two of them covered in ice cream at the beach. Posy in a backpack, grabbing Patrick’s hair. ‘Those two human beings are totally reliant on you. If you screw up, they suffer.’
‘Thanks for that vote of confidence.’
‘Doesn’t it terrify you?’
‘No. I love them. And I don’t intend to screw up.’ Patrick toyed with the pencil. ‘It doesn’t have to be the way it was for us, Dan.’
It was something they rarely mentioned and Daniel felt the filthy sludge of the past slide into his brain. ‘Christmas was the worst time, do you remember?’
The pencil in Patrick’s lean fingers snapped in two. ‘Yes.’
‘I counted the days until it was over.’
‘I counted them with you.’ His brother’s casual tone didn’t fool him and suddenly Daniel wanted to know.
‘So how have you managed to put it behind you? With that grim example of parenting shining in your head, how do you do it?’
‘I love my children.’ A faint smile touched his brother’s mouth. ‘And I suppose I treat our childhood as an education in how not to parent. As long as I’m doing everything opposite, then I’m pretty confident that it will turn out all right.’
‘You’re divorced.’
‘Precisely. If Mum and Dad had divorced, they might have been happy.’ Patrick threw the broken bits of pencil into the bin. ‘I don’t subscribe to the school of thought that says a miserably unhappy couple have to stay together for the sake of the children. Why are we talking about this? What does this have to do with Stella?’
‘I’m reminding you why I don’t want marriage.’
‘I don’t need reminding.’
‘I did her a favour.’
‘You truly believe that, don’t you?’ Patrick gave a humourless laugh. ‘Dan, you proposed to her and then broke her heart. What I don’t understand is why you asked her to marry you in the first place, given your serious allergy to that condition.’
Daniel ran his hand over the back of his neck, remembering that night. ‘It was Christmas. I was crazy about her. It was what she wanted.’
‘But not what you wanted.’
‘For a brief moment I thought I did,’ Daniel confessed in a raw tone. ‘I thought maybe, just maybe, I could do it, but when your Carly—’ Breaking off, Daniel threw his brother a glance of apology but Patrick shrugged.
‘Don’t mince your words. When Carly walked out on me, it reminded you that relationships are difficult, fragile things.’
‘And Alfie cried himself to sleep at night for months!’ Daniel’s eyes slid to the photographs on the wall. ‘I never want to do that to a child.’
Patrick eyed the stack of work on his desk. ‘Could we talk about this in my kitchen over a beer later? Or was there something else you wanted to say?’
Daniel tried to clear his head. ‘You should have told me that she was coming back.’
‘I didn’t think you’d be interested. You’re dating that sleek, sexy solicitor, remember? You’ve moved on.’ Patrick closed the file he’d been reading and placed it in a tray at the front of his desk ready to be collected.
Glaring at his brother, Daniel wondered how it was possible to love a person and hate them at the same time. ‘Well, how long is she back for? Where is she living?’
‘As far as I know, she’s back for good.’ Patrick leaned back in his chair and looked his brother in the eye. ‘And she’s living with me.’

CHAPTER TWO
STELLA walked into the treatment room and stopped the moment she saw Daniel. Her stomach flipped and her heart did a crazy dance. ‘Sorry, I just needed to pick up a dressing pack.’ Depressed by the effect he had on her, she backed towards the door and then noticed that he was putting an ice pack on his knuckles. ‘Have you hurt yourself? What happened?’
‘I hit my hand on something.’
Forgetting her own feelings for a moment, Stella stared at his profile, sensing his boiling anger. She knew him so well. Understood his moods, his volatility and his restless, brilliant mind. She remembered Patrick once telling her that if Daniel hadn’t suddenly decided to be a doctor, he probably would have ended up in gaol. ‘You hit your hand? Oh, God.’ Her stomach lurched as the truth hit her. ‘You’ve seen Patrick, haven’t you? Please tell me you didn’t—’
‘No.’ He growled the word angrily as he flexed his fingers. ‘I didn’t. Believe it or not, I have no intention of adding grievous bodily harm to my list of sins. I punched the wall.’
‘Oh.’ Relief poured over her. ‘What had the wall done wrong?’ But even while she was making a joke of it, her thoughts were spinning all over the place. This was because of her, she had no doubt about that. And part of her felt light-headed that her arrival had destabilised him because it meant that he still cared. And another part was angry with herself because that reaction was so infuriatingly illogical. She didn’t want him to care for her and she didn’t want to care for him.
She’d been there. Done that. Tested their relationship to the limits.
Watched it snap.
The glance he threw in her direction was dark and threatening. ‘This isn’t funny.’
‘I agree.’ If they couldn’t put the past behind them it certainly wasn’t going to be funny. Crisp and professional, Stella walked over to him and took his hand in hers, examining the bruising. But she found herself thinking about the strength in those fingers—the skill she knew he possessed. Skill in the resuscitation room. Skill in the bedroom. ‘That’s a nasty bruise.’ Taking the ice pack from him, she repositioned it so that it rested on the worst of the bruising. ‘I suppose I should be relieved that you’ve learned to hit the wall and not your brother, otherwise I would have had both of you in here and that would take some explaining. Are you going to have this X-rayed?’
‘What for? Nothing’s broken.’ There was a rough note to his voice that told her he was as aware of her as she was of him. ‘Who’s the doctor here?’
‘You are.’ She was tempted to slide the ice pack down the front of her scrub suit to cool her overheated body. ‘But you don’t appear to be thinking clearly.’ And she wasn’t thinking clearly, either, with him so close to her. Suddenly holding his hand didn’t seem like such a clever idea. The sight of those dark hairs shading his strong forearms was enough to make her think things she shouldn’t be thinking and the sudden flare of sexual awareness was like a punch to her senses. Stella let go of his hand. ‘I’ll get you a bandage.’
‘I don’t need a bandage.’
‘Then maybe you need an MRI to look at brain function,’ she said tartly, her tone reflecting her frustration with herself. ‘Going around hitting walls isn’t exactly the behaviour of a consultant.’
‘I wasn’t a consultant when I punched the wall. I was a man. Dammit, Stella.’ He caught her chin in his undamaged hand, turning her face to his, his movements strong and confident, his tone raw and demanding. ‘Why didn’t you tell me you were coming back?’
The way he touched her rattled her self-control. ‘I didn’t think you needed to know.’
‘But you told my brother.’
‘Yes.’
‘You’re living with him.’
Stella moved her head but he had her trapped. ‘Not with him. In the stable. Is that why you tried to knock a hole in the wall?’ Watching his reaction, she shook her head in disbelief. ‘For goodness’ sake, Daniel! What is the matter with you? I’ve seen you handle drunks and drug addicts with calm and patience. I’ve seen you ice cold, resuscitating a newborn baby when the other doctors in the room were all shaking hands and sweating brows. You have more control than any other man I know. And more intelligence.’
‘He said you were living with him.’
‘In the stable! Can’t you tell when he’s winding you up?’
Daniel gave a grunt and let his hand drop. ‘My brother knows which buttons to push.’
‘You two don’t change.’ But she knew how close they were and felt a flash of guilt for causing friction. ‘There’s nothing between Patrick and me.’
‘It’s two years since Carly walked out. He’s ready for another relationship.’ His tone was rough. ‘If that’s what the two of you want, I’m relaxed about it.’
Relaxed?
Stella decided not to remind him that his knuckles had required an ice pack. It was natural, she told herself, that he’d feel uncomfortable about her being with Patrick. It was just too close for comfort. He was probably worried that he’d be tripping over her every time he called in on his brother. ‘Is that what you’re buying him for Christmas? A relationship?’
Daniel flexed his fingers, testing the injury. ‘I think we both know relationships aren’t my speciality. And you still haven’t answered my question. Why are you back?’
‘I’m back because this is where I want to live, Daniel! I love the Lake District—I love the hospital. My friends are here. The only reason I went away in the first place was because I just couldn’t work alongside you after everything that happened. But I’ve moved on.’ She hoped she sounded convincing. ‘And so have you. If you’re worried about awkward moments, then don’t be. There won’t be any.’
‘Have you moved on?’
‘Of course.’ Stella thought of ‘Caring of Cumbria’.
‘That Christmas two years ago—’
‘Let’s not talk about it. There’s no point.’ Surprised and unsettled by his unexpected reference to their highly emotional break-up, Stella decided that the best thing was to show him everything was fine. ‘I hear you’re seeing someone. That’s good. I’m pleased for you.’
Daniel discarded the ice pack. ‘You are?’
‘Of course. I only ever wanted you to be happy. I’m seeing someone, too.’
Daniel inhaled sharply and his eyes narrowed to two dangerous slits. ‘Who?’
Stella suddenly realised that she didn’t want to tell him she was using a dating agency. Why did that feel embarrassing? She didn’t know, but it did. ‘Just a guy.’
‘So you don’t know him very well.’
‘That’s why we’re dating. To get to know each other.’
‘How long have you known him?’
Stella was starting to wish she’d never begun the conversation. ‘A couple of months.’ Which was true, she reasoned. They’d been emailing each other since October.
‘What does he do?’
‘What does it matter?’ She stared at him, exasperated and confused. ‘Why do you care?’
‘I’m just making conversation. Finding out what’s been happening to you.’ But the expression in his eyes said differently. ‘Isn’t that what friends do?’
‘Yes, but we’re not friends, Dan,’ Stella said softly. ‘We haven’t been in touch for two years and I think we both know that was the right decision.’ Staying in touch would have been like squeezing lemon juice onto an open wound.
‘You don’t seem to have any problems being friends with my brother.’
‘Patrick and I have only ever been friends.’
‘Whereas you and I were lovers.’
His husky, sexy voice sent a white hot arc of sexual heat shooting through her body and Stella felt everything inside her melt. ‘It’s in the past, Dan.’ She stepped back, rejecting the fiery chemistry and her body’s instinctive response. ‘It’s not going to give us a problem.’ Picking up the equipment she’d come to fetch, she walked back towards the door. ‘We’re colleagues, that’s all.’
‘So you can work side by side with me and not feel anything.’
‘That’s right.’ The lie came easily, but they were wasted words because both of them knew the truth. ‘We want different things.’ It seemed like a good idea to remind them both of that fact.
‘Are you going to marry him?’
Stella opened the door. ‘I don’t know.’ That was true, she reasoned. She didn’t know. ‘And I don’t understand why you would even care.’
‘Are you having sex with him?’
‘For goodness’ sake, Dan!’ With a gasp, she pushed the door closed again, hoping that none of her colleagues had been walking along the corridor at that point. ‘What business is that of yours?’ Her eyes clashed with the burning fire of his and, for a moment, he didn’t reply.
Then he drew in an uneven breath. ‘None,’ he said hoarsely, running his undamaged hand through his hair like a man on the edge. ‘None at all. And if you are—well, I’m fine with it. That’s fine.’
Desperately unsettled, Stella held his gaze, not understanding what was going on in his head. They hadn’t spoken to each other for two years. He was seeing someone else. There was no reason for him to react with anything other than indifference.
Except that their relationship had been so hot and intense that it had left scorch marks on both of them.
‘I’m glad you’re fine with it,’ she said shakily, ‘because who I date is none of your business. Just as who you date is none of mine.’ Deciding that she’d never understand men, Stella left the room before she said something she knew she’d regret.
‘So you’ve never met this person? How do you know he’s nice?’ Alfie was kneeling on a chair in the stable, watching Stella as she tapped away at the computer. One of the kittens was snuggled on his lap.
‘We’ve been writing to each other.’
‘By email?’ Alfie looked knowledgeable. ‘I have my own email address at school.’
‘Really? That’s impressive. I certainly didn’t know how to email when I was ten years old.’ Stella scrolled through her latest message, scanning the contents. ‘He wants to meet me, Alfie. What do you think?’
‘Let’s ask Mary.’ He lifted the tiny kitten. ‘What do we think, Mary?’
‘You called the kitten Mary?’
‘It’s Christmas. The two I’m keeping are Mary and Joseph. They’re the marmalade ones.’ He kissed the kitten on the head and rubbed his cheek over the animal’s fur. ‘It isn’t safe to meet a stranger. My teacher says you should never give anyone your real name or address over the internet.’
‘Your teacher is right. You shouldn’t.’ Stella typed her reply. ‘And I haven’t given any personal details apart from my name. He wants to meet me in a pub.’
Alfie stroked the kitten. ‘What if you meet him and he’s, like, really yucky?’
‘Well.’ Stella didn’t reveal that she’d been wondering that exact thing herself. ‘I hope he won’t be. We’ve already talked about the things we like and don’t like. So we have a feel for whether we’re going to get on.’
‘You mean you tell him you like computer games and he tells you he likes playing with Lego?’
‘Something like that.’
‘What if he’s lying just so that you’ll be friends with him?’
Stella lifted her hand and ruffled his hair. ‘Smart, aren’t you?’
‘Not really. Harry Trent did that to me,’ Alfie grumbled. ‘He said he loved Lego, so I invited him to my house for a sleepover but when he got here he just wanted to nose around. And he kept asking questions about how much money Dad has. He wasn’t interested in Lego.’
‘I’m sorry to hear that,’ Stella said softly. ‘And if this guy is lying to me, I won’t see him again.’
‘Why can’t you just meet someone normally? It’s going to be really weird going out with someone you’ve never met.’
‘Sometimes it’s hard meeting someone “normally”.’ Stella stroked the kitten gently. ‘We lead busy lives and the chances of just bumping into someone you want to spend the rest of your life with are pretty remote.’
‘Why can’t you just be with Uncle Dan? You were going to marry him. Two Christmases ago you sat on my bed and read me that story and you showed me the ring Uncle Dan had given you.’
Remembering how quickly her best Christmas had turned into her worst Christmas, Stella bit her lip. ‘We managed to have fun that Christmas despite everything, didn’t we?’
‘Oh, yeah.’ Alfie shrugged, more adult than child. ‘It was hard at first, when Mum left. Christmas was the final straw for her. She was screaming and yelling like she’d gone mad. At first I thought it was my fault for opening one of my presents early, but Dad told me it was his fault for going to deliver those triplets on Christmas Eve when Mum had dinner on the table.’
‘I remember the triplets. Your dad saved their lives.’
‘I know. He’s cool. But Mum didn’t think so. She hated his job. And she hated Christmas.’ Alfie looked puzzled. ‘I don’t get that, do you? How can anyone hate Christmas? Dad says it stressed her out.’
Finding it hard to feel sympathy for a woman who could leave her children on Christmas Eve, Stella leaned forward and hugged him tightly. ‘Alfie …’ she discovered that she had a huge lump in her throat ‘… this Christmas is going to be the best ever. I promise. And no one is going to be stressed out.’
‘If Dad has to cook a turkey, he’ll be stressed out,’ Alfie predicted, with insight beyond his years. ‘And I’ll probably be stressed out if I have to eat it. Dad is better at delivering triplets than cooking. He needs lessons. He’s going to advertise for someone who wants a kitten. Do you think I could advertise for someone to come and cook Christmas lunch?’
‘You don’t need to advertise. I’ll give him a lesson,’ Stella promised, kissing him on the forehead and then pulling a face. ‘Sorry—are you too old to be kissed?’
‘I don’t mind it,’ Alfie said generously, ‘as long as you don’t do it in front of my friends.’
‘I’ll remember that.’ Stella shut down her computer. ‘Have you made your Christmas list?’
‘Yes. And I’ve posted it up the chimney.’
Stella looked at him, unsure whether he still believed in Father Christmas. ‘And did he pick it up?’
‘It wasn’t there when I looked so, yes, I guess so.’ He picked up the tiny kitten and kissed it. ‘I hope no one wants the kittens. Then we’ll have to keep all of them.’
‘It would be a lot of work for your dad.’
‘I take care of them.’ Alfie tucked the kitten back on his lap. ‘I wish you’d married Uncle Dan.’
Stella thought, Me, too, but managed a smile. ‘Your Uncle Dan isn’t the marrying kind.’
‘I know. He thinks marriage sucks.’
Stella blinked. ‘Are you supposed to use that word?’
‘Probably not, but I know you won’t tell.’ Alfred slid off the chair. ‘If you don’t want to marry Uncle Dan, you could always marry my dad. Then you could cook the turkey. And be my mum. That would be cool.’
‘Being your mum would be cool,’ Stella agreed, closing her laptop. ‘But unfortunately your dad and I don’t love each other. Not in that way. And people who get married should love each other.’
‘You’d have to have sex, and I guess that would be gross.’
Stella gulped. ‘Alfie!’ she floundered, not sure how to respond, but Alfie had already moved on.
‘What’s his name? This guy you’re meeting?’
‘Edward.’
Alfie wrinkled his nose. ‘I don’t like that name.’
‘It’s just a name, Alfie.’
‘Does he drive a cool sports car like Uncle Dan?’
‘I have no idea.’
‘Is he in the mountain rescue team like Dad and Uncle Dan?’
‘I don’t think so.’
‘I’m going to be in the mountain rescue team when I’m old enough. I think it’s so great, going out into the mountains to save people. You get to slide down ropes and sometimes go in a helicopter. I’m going to get muscles like Dad and Uncle Dan.’
Dismissing a disturbing mental image of Daniel’s muscular physique, Stella gave a weak smile. ‘I’m sure you will.’
‘Last winter he went all the way to South America and climbed a mountain no one else has ever climbed. How cool is that?’
‘Pretty cool.’
‘Does your guy climb?’
Stella took a deep breath. ‘He isn’t my guy and, no, he doesn’t climb.’
‘He sounds a lot different from Uncle Dan.’ ‘Yes,’ Stella said breezily. ‘He is.’
She was counting on it.

CHAPTER THREE
THE weather grew colder still and the emergency department was busier than ever.
Which was good, Stella reminded herself as she worked her third double shift with no break, because work took her mind off Daniel.
‘I’ve never had a headache like it,’ the woman moaned, holding her head as Stella checked her blood pressure. ‘It feels as though someone is splitting my skull with an axe. We saw the GP yesterday and he said that we’ve all picked up this virus that’s going around, but today when I woke up I felt so bad I was scared I was having a stroke or something.’
‘The whole family has had the same bug?’
‘My husband John has been really sick, but he had the headache, too. And the kids feel rough. They’re supposed to be doing nativity plays and Christmas parties but they’re too ill to be excited about anything. I left them sleeping this morning. Billy wouldn’t even wake up when I went to tell him I was coming here and he’s usually the first one up in the morning.’
‘He wouldn’t wake up?’ Stella recorded the woman’s blood pressure, but something in the patient’s story made her uneasy. ‘Are you sure? Did you try waking him?’
‘Yes. This bug has totally wiped him out, poor thing.’
Stella looked at her for a moment, a suspicion forming in her mind. ‘And your husband?’
‘He was asleep, too. I wanted him to drive me here,’ Diana muttered, ‘but I couldn’t even rouse him so I had to catch the bus. Still, I suppose he needed the rest after being sick yesterday.’
‘Perhaps.’ Stella glanced at the clock. ‘What time did you leave the house?’
‘An hour ago. Eight o’clock.’
‘Right. Just wait there—I’m going to ask a doctor to take a look at you.’ She hurried out of the cubicle and bumped straight into Daniel.
His fingers closed over her arms, steadying her. ‘What’s the rush? Or have you suddenly realised that there’s only another twelve shopping days until Christmas?’
Stella didn’t laugh, partly because she was too conscious of his hands on her body and partly because she was still distracted by her patient. ‘I have a woman in cubicle 2 complaining of a severe headache.’ She pulled away from him, alarmed that even when she was talking to him as a doctor, she was still aware of him as a man. ‘The whole family is down with a virus.’
‘And?’ His gaze lingered on her face, dropped to her mouth. ‘What are you thinking?’
That she must have been crazy to think she would ever get over Daniel. ‘I’m thinking that it might not be a virus.’ Yanking her mind back to her work, Stella gave an embarrassed laugh. ‘I’m probably overreacting.’
‘I’ve never known you overreact.’ His voice was soft. ‘I have known you see things other people miss.’
Stella was silenced by the praise. Thrown, it took her a moment to focus. ‘She’s had this headache for a while,’ she croaked, looking past him down the corridor rather than at his face. ‘Yesterday her husband and the kids were sick—’
‘They saw their GP?’
‘Yes, and he said virus. Gastroenteritis.’
‘Sounds reasonable. There’s plenty of it going around.’
‘Yes.’ Stella rubbed her fingers over her forehead and sighed. ‘I’m definitely overreacting. If one member of the family has it then it’s perfectly reasonable for the whole family to go down.’
Daniel’s gaze was fixed on her face. ‘Why are you worried?’
‘Because when she left the house this morning she couldn’t wake her kids or her husband. She thought they were just tired, but—’
‘Are you telling me you think it might be carbon monoxide poisoning?’
‘I hope not. I—I’m sure it isn’t,’ Stella stammered, suddenly feeling foolish. ‘If it was just her husband who was tired, I wouldn’t have been worried, but it’s a bit odd not being able to wake a child who is normally bouncing around thinking of Christmas, don’t you think?’
‘How hard did she try?’
‘I don’t know.’ Stella waved her hand. ‘Will you take a look at her? See what you think? If there’s a chance I might be right, we should call the police and the paramedics.’ It occurred to her that she trusted his judgement implicitly. Whatever their differences, she’d never doubted his abilities as a doctor.
Daniel stared at her for a moment, his expression inscrutable. Then he turned and strode into the cubicle. ‘Diane? I’m Daniel Buchannan, one of the consultants here. Tell me about your headache.’ He questioned the woman as he examined her, his eyes sharp and attentive as he listened to the history and took some blood samples. ‘And the other members of you family had nausea, vomiting and headache?’
‘Yes,’ she groaned, closing her eyes. ‘I did wonder if it was something we’d eaten, but the GP said there is a gastric bug going around.’
‘Her sats are fine,’ Stella murmured, looking at the monitor.
‘The saturation level equals the sum of oxyhaemaglobin and carboxyhaemoglobin, so it’s unreliable. It isn’t going to tell us what we want to know,’ Daniel murmured. ‘I want to give her the highest concentration of oxygen possible—use a rebreathing mask. I want to check her COHb levels. And let’s do an ECG. Diane …’ Daniel turned back to the patient ‘… I don’t think this is a virus. I agree with Stella—I think you might have carbon monoxide poisoning.’
The woman looked at him blankly. ‘What?’
‘There’s been quite a lot about it in the papers. It’s a tasteless, odourless gas—it basically lowers the oxygen-carrying capacity of your blood. What sort of heating do you have at home?’
‘We’re in a rented flat,’ Diane gasped. ‘We have a gas fire in the living room. We tend to congregate there to save on heating bills. Do you think—?’
‘I suspect that the fire might be a problem.’
‘Oh, my God—the kids are in the house.’ Panic flaring in her eyes, Diane struggled to sit up. ‘My husband—’
‘We’re going to deal with it, Diane. Right now. Lie down and think about yourself for a moment.’ Her tone soothing, Stella put the oxygen mask on the anxious woman, adjusted the flow to maximum and then looked at Daniel. ‘Do you want me to call the house?’
‘I’ll do it. You do that ECG.’
Stella attached the leads to Diane’s chest and had just switched the machine on when Daniel strode back into the room.
‘Diane, there was no reply from your house,’ he said gently, ‘so I’ve called the fire brigade and the paramedics. It’s just a precaution, but if we’re right, we need to get the rest of your family in here as soon as possible.’
Diane’s eyes were bright with tears. ‘I had no idea! I just left them. I thought they were asleep!’
‘We’re getting someone round there now, Diane,’ Stella said soothingly, but Diane just shook her head.
‘What if it’s too late?’
Daniel’s mobile rang and he answered it swiftly, giving instructions to the paramedics.
‘They’re at the door now and there’s no answer—is there a key anywhere?’
‘Flower pot,’ Diane murmured weakly, and Daniel relayed that message to the emergency services on the scene. Moments later he was nodding and smiling.
‘You’re sure? OK. Yes, I’ll tell her that.’ He dropped the phone into his pocket and smiled at Diane. ‘Your husband is awake, Diane. They’re getting the children out of the house now and they’ll assess them in the ambulance.’
Diane closed her eyes briefly. ‘Are they OK? Please tell me they’re OK.’
‘They’re going to give them oxygen and transfer them straight to us.’
‘Dan? Do you want to look at this ECG?’ Stella stood to one side and Daniel scanned the strip of paper.
‘That looks all right. Nothing there that worries me.’
‘Why did that GP tell me it was a virus?’ Diane fretted, and Daniel slipped the ECG reading into the notes.
‘Unfortunately, it’s all too easy to miss.’
‘You didn’t miss it.’
‘We’re a busy emergency department—we’re more alert to the possibility of carbon monoxide poisoning than the average family doctor.’
‘But if you hadn’t thought of it—’
‘You can thank this nurse.’ Daniel’s gaze slid to Stella. ‘She was the one who was suspicious. And rightly so.’ His eyes rested on her face for a moment and she smiled and then turned away, part of her wishing that they didn’t work together so well. Maybe if she didn’t admire him as much as a doctor …
A siren sounded outside the department and Daniel moved towards the door. ‘That will be the rest of your family. I’ll go and see to them and then I’ll come back. Stella, if you need me, shout.’ He strode out of the room, leaving Stella with a very worried Diane.
‘Can I go and see them?’
‘You’re not well enough.’ Stella encouraged her to stay on the trolley. ‘Give Daniel time to assess them, and then I’ll go and find out what is going on.’
But she didn’t need to because Daniel walked into the room less than ten minutes later. ‘I’ve done a preliminary examination and it does seem to be carbon monoxide poisoning, but they’re going to be fine,’ he assured Diane. ‘Your husband is conscious and talking and the boys woke up once they were removed from the house. Your husband has contacted your landlord and the fire department will be dealing with him.’ He checked the blood results. ‘Her COHb levels are high,’ he murmured to Stella. ‘I’m going to talk to the infirmary—I’m wondering whether she would benefit from hyperbaric oxygen therapy.’
‘I thought that was controversial?’
‘I think it might be appropriate in Diane’s case. I’ll call them.’ He strode out of the room again just as Ellie walked in.
‘Diane? I’ve been looking after your lovely boys,’ she said, ‘and I wanted to let you know that they’re doing fine. We’ve given them oxygen and they’re sitting up and chatting. They’ve told me everything that’s on their Christmas lists and all I can say is I hope you won the lottery recently.’
‘They’re all right?’ Diane clutched Stella’s hand. ‘It’s because of you,’ she said hoarsely. ‘It’s because of you they’re alive. I can’t believe I just thought they were tired. You saved our lives.’
‘She’s a miracle,’ Ellie agreed, winking at Stella, ‘but don’t tell her too often or she’ll expect a pay rise and we don’t do things like that around here.’
Stella smiled at her friend and squeezed Diane’s hand. ‘I’m just relieved that your family is all right.’
‘If you hadn’t thought of it—or if that doctor hadn’t taken you seriously—’
‘I always take her seriously,’ Daniel drawled from the doorway, a gleam in his eyes as he glanced briefly at Stella. ‘Diane, I’ve spoken to my colleagues and I’m transferring you for some special treatment, and the others, too.’
Stella helped with the arrangements and once Diane had been transferred, she went back to the room to clear up.
‘Well done. You just made someone’s Christmas.’ Daniel stood in the doorway and her heart danced an uneven rhythm because the way he was looking at her was achingly familiar.
‘I’m just glad it turned out all right.’ She pushed the ECG machine to the end of the cubicle, reminding herself to keep it professional. If they just talked about work, it would be fine. ‘How are the children? Ellie said they should be fine.’
‘Their COHb levels were quite high, but hopefully they won’t suffer any long-term problems. The fire brigade wore breathing apparatus when they went in. Apparently the gas fire was lethal. Blocked flue or something.’ He strolled into the room, his eyes on hers. ‘Good job, Stella. I’ve missed working with you.’ His gruff male tones melted her bones to liquid.
‘I’ve missed working with you, too,’ she breathed, her hands tightening around the side of the trolley. ‘You’re a good doctor.’
There was a painful silence and Stella stood there, so aware of him that he may as well have been touching her.
‘Look at me, Stella.’ His soft command made her heart skip and she lifted her head and looked at him. And instantly regretted it. With a murmur of confusion, she gave a little shake of her head and his eyes darkened.
‘Stella, I—’
‘Daniel?’ A crisp, female voice came from behind him and they both glanced guiltily towards the door.
A woman stood there. She was slim and businesslike, dressed smartly in a navy suit and a white shirt, and in her right hand she held a briefcase. Her glossy red hair was neatly contained in a professional-looking French plait and her make-up was immaculate.
‘Andrea.’ Daniel hesitated and then cast a wary glance towards Stella.
And she understood instantly who the woman was.
His lawyer.
‘I’ll just go and check the waiting room.’ Stella intended to slide out of the room, but the woman stopped her.
‘Don’t run away on my account. I’m due in court in ten minutes so I don’t have long. Dan—about tonight. Don’t pick me up. I’ll meet you there. I’d rather drive myself.’ She was all crisp efficiency. ‘And I have a breakfast meeting tomorrow, so I won’t be staying overnight.’
Stella dug her nails into her palms, horrified by the agonising pain she felt. She was supposed to be over him, wasn’t she? She wasn’t supposed to care any more. So why did it hurt to meet his latest girlfriend? And to hear her talking about ‘staying over’, as if it was a regular occurrence.
Well, of course it was. What had she expected? Daniel was a red-blooded male. Just because he had no interest in marriage and children, it didn’t mean he had no interest in other things.
Shaken by the depth of the pain she felt, Stella mumbled an excuse and slid past the two of them, avoiding eye contact with Daniel.
He had his life and she had hers.
And that was the way she wanted it.
‘Caring of Cumbria’ was going to be her type, she reminded herself. And he was going to stop her thinking about Daniel.
‘What do you know about this guy she’s seeing?’ Daniel stood in his brother’s kitchen, staring across the yard towards the converted stable. A light shone behind a curtain and he assumed that Stella was getting ready to go out for the evening. For some reason that he didn’t understand, the thought set his teeth on edge.
‘Nothing.’ Patrick drained the pasta. ‘Posy, sit at the table.
Alfie, help your sister. God, I’m tired. I can’t remember the last time I spent a whole night in my bed. The labour ward is crazy.’
‘You’re the boss. You’re supposed to delegate.’
‘I don’t delegate life-and-death situations. Why are so many babies born near Christmas?’
‘I don’t know.’ Daniel leaned forward and stole a piece of pasta. ‘You’re the obstetrician.’
‘Can I have extra cheese on my pasta?’ Alfie picked Posy up and sat her on her chair. Then he went to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of milk.
‘Not milk,’ Patrick said absently, cursing under his breath as the water scalded his fingers. ‘Give her water. Otherwise she’s too full to eat.’
Daniel felt something pressing on his ankle and looked down to see a kitten looking up at him hopefully. ‘About this guy that Stella is seeing …’
‘I don’t know anything about the guy Stella is seeing.’
‘I do.’ Alfie replaced the milk and poured water into two cups. ‘I know he’s not in the mountain rescue team.’ He put the cup in front of his sister. ‘And I don’t think he has muscles. But I know he wants to get married and have kids. That’s why she’s picked him. I just hope he doesn’t turn out to be a real creep. She’ll find out tonight. Ellie is going to phone her at nine and if he’s really yucky then she’s going to pretend there’s a crisis at home. I guess that will work. She hasn’t given him her address or anything.’ He scooped up the kitten that was winding itself around Daniel’s legs and sneaked it onto his lap under the table, casting a furtive glance at his father.
Stunned into silence by the volume of information that Alfie had delivered, Daniel gaped at his nephew and then turned to his brother. ‘He’s ten years old.’
‘He inherited his intelligence from me.’ Patrick put a bowl of pasta in front of his golden-haired daughter. ‘Alfie spends every available minute with Stella. He knows far more about her than I do.’
Daniel turned his attention back to his nephew. ‘You’ve been spending time with her?’
‘Why not? She’s got this brilliant laptop. It’s so cool. And she does this dating thing. You ought to do it, Dad.’ Alfie squirted ketchup onto his plate. ‘Stella had three hundred and fifty replies. If you had that many they could each come here and cook a meal and you wouldn’t have to cook again for a whole year.’
‘What’s wrong with my cooking? And I know you’ve brought that kitten to the table again, Alfie. I’m not blind or stupid. Put her on the floor. And don’t eat with your fingers, Posy.’ Clearly distracted, Patrick put the fork into his daughter’s hand. ‘Alfie, eat, please. I’ve got to go back to the hospital in a minute.’
‘Dating agency?’ Feeling as though he was five steps behind everyone else, Daniel stared at his nephew. ‘Stella is using a dating agency?’
‘Yup.’ Ignoring his father, Alfie kept the kitten on his lap. ‘On the internet. It’s the only way she’s going to meet a decent man. She’s been through three hundred and fifty people and she’s chosen someone who isn’t a bit like you.’
Patrick gave a choked laugh and Daniel glared at him and then pulled out a chair and sat down next to Alfie.
‘So she’s meeting a complete stranger?’
‘Not really. She knows loads about him. I think he sounds really boring, but I’m not a girl.’ Alfie stuffed a forkful of pasta into his mouth. ‘She’s really excited. Dad—how long does it take to make a baby?’
A baby?
Daniel had to physically stop himself from sprinting across the courtyard and bolting the stable door from the outside.
There was no way Stella would be intimate with a guy that quickly, he told himself. She wasn’t that type of girl, was she? It had been ages before she’d eventually slept with him.
‘Nine months,’ Patrick said absently. ‘Alfie, Mrs Thornton is going to sit with you tonight.’
Alfie groaned. ‘Not Mrs Thornton. She’s so old.’
‘She isn’t old.’
‘She smells funny and her mouth is really red. Can’t I stay on my own?’
‘You’re too young. I won’t be late.’
‘You always say that, but babies are never predictable,’ Alfie grumbled. ‘They just don’t do what you expect them to do. You’ll be at the hospital all night, like you always are. If Mrs Thornton is here, can I watch that DVD? She’s so shortsighted, she won’t know.’
‘Which DVD?’ Only half listening, Patrick fished his mobile out of his pocket and scrolled through his messages.
‘It’s a twelve rating.’
‘You’re ten, so the answer is no.’
‘My friends have all seen it.’ Alfie wrinkled his nose. ‘I don’t think it’s unsuitable.’
‘So why is it a twelve rating?’
‘Not sure. It will either be “scenes of a violent nature” or “moderate sex references”.’ Alfie spooned another pile of cheese over his pasta. ‘It doesn’t really matter. I fast forward those bits anyway. All that kissing is boring when you’re ten.’
Patrick’s phone rang and he answered it immediately. ‘Buchannan. Yes. How many centimetres dilated is she?’ Still listening, he tucked the phone between his cheek and his shoulder and wiped the tomato sauce from his daughter’s face. ‘No—no, not yet. All right.’
Alfie sighed. ‘Wait for it. He’s going to have to go to the hospital and sort it out.’
Daniel reached forward and stole a piece of pasta from Alfie’s bowl. ‘You know everything that’s going on around here, don’t you?’
‘I have eyes and ears. Never underestimate a kid,’ Alfie said solemnly, pulling his bowl out of Daniel’s reach and wrapping an arm around it protectively. ‘I have this whole house wired. I want to be a spy when I grow up. You could stay with me tonight, then Mrs Thornton wouldn’t have to drag her creaking joints over here.’
‘Creaking joints?’ Daniel looked at his brother with disapproval, wondering who he was entrusting with his children. ‘How old is this woman you’re leaving him with?’
‘At least forty-five,’ Patrick drawled, sliding his phone into his pocket and removing the cheese from Posy’s grasp. ‘To Alfie, that’s old.’
‘She is old and she smells strong. And she’s always asking about Daddy.’
‘She covers herself in perfume before she comes round?’ Daniel leaned back in his chair and grinned at his brother. ‘Sounds as though she’s interested in something other than the welfare of the children.’
‘Unluckily for me.’ Patrick scooped the kitten from Alfie’s lap. ‘Mary, go to the kitchen.’
‘That’s Joseph. I don’t know how you can do your job if you can’t tell the difference between a boy and a girl.’ Alfie pushed his bowl away and looked at Daniel. ‘Can’t you stay with me tonight?’
‘I have a hot date.’ Glancing at his brother, who was still on the phone, Daniel leaned forward and lowered his voice. ‘So, Agent Alfie, you wouldn’t happen to know where Stella is meeting this mystery man of hers, would you?’
‘Yes.’ Alfie picked up his drink. ‘I would.’
Daniel lifted an eyebrow. ‘And are you going to tell me?’
‘I might. But it’s going to cost you.’
Daniel gave a disbelieving laugh. ‘You think I’d pay you for information?’
‘I suppose it depends how important it is to you.’ Alfie slid off his chair and took his bowl to the kitchen.
Daniel followed. ‘You’re a tough negotiator.’
‘You don’t have to pay if you don’t want to know.’
Out of his depth, Daniel took a deep breath and glanced through the door towards his brother, who was now on the phone again, talking to the hospital. ‘How much is it going to cost me?’
Alfie set the dishwasher to rinse. ‘Two pounds fifty.’
‘That’s daylight robbery.’
‘Fine. Why do you want to know where she’s going, anyway?’ Alfie frowned. ‘You two don’t go out together any more. She thinks you’re too macho and you’re worried because she wants babies. I’m only ten but even I can see that that’s going to be a terrible relationship. Kids are a lot of work. I know, because I am one.’
‘She thinks I’m too macho?’ Daniel ran his hand over the back of his neck, unable to believe that he was having this conversation with a ten-year-old. ‘Where do you hear these things?’
‘Stella talks to me. That’s why I like her. She doesn’t treat me like an idiot.’
‘Alfie, you’re no idiot.’ Daniel dug his hand in his pocket and pulled out his wallet. ‘Five pounds.’
Alfie’s eyes widened. ‘I don’t have any change.’
‘I want to know everything that Stella has told you about this guy.’
‘All right.’ Alfie folded the money carefully and tucked it in his pocket. ‘They’re meeting in the Drunken Fox at eight o’clock.’
‘How are they going to recognise each other?’
‘She’s going to wear red.’ Alfie pulled a face. ‘I hope the guy likes red. She didn’t know whether to wear the red one or the black one, but I said red because I thought she looked nicest in that one. Sort of like a girl from the movies.’
Daniel inhaled sharply. ‘You should have gone with the black.’
‘You don’t want her to look nice?’
‘Red is …’ The colour she’d always worn for him? He’d loved her in red. For a moment his brain tortured him with a mini-clip of Stella in red. The soft red jumper she’d worn the first night he’d kissed her, the silky red dress she’d had on when he’d proposed. ‘You should have told her to wear black.’
‘Why? She looked better in the red.’
Precisely, Daniel thought viciously, searching for an excuse to stride across to the stable, knock on the door and stop her going out.
‘Why are you giving my son money?’ Patrick ended the phone call and walked into the kitchen, Posy in his arms.
‘I’m his uncle.’ Daniel walked across and kissed Posy on the top of her head. ‘I can give him money if I want to.’
Patrick’s eyes narrowed suspiciously but at that moment the doorbell rang. ‘That will be Mrs Thornton. Alfie, make sure you’re in bed by eight-thirty. No messing around. And don’t watch anything unsuitable.’
‘Just go, Dad.’ Alfie lowered the kitten gently to the floor and handed Posy her doll. ‘We’ll be fine. If Mrs Thornton dies of old age, I’ll call you.’
‘Don’t be cheeky.’
Daniel walked towards the door. ‘I’ll catch you later.’
Patrick reached for his coat. ‘Lucky you, having a night off. Are you seeing the lawyer?’
‘Yes.’ And Daniel strode out of the house before his brother could question him further.
For some reason he didn’t want to examine too closely, he wasn’t prepared to tell Patrick how he planned to spend his evening.
Nodding to the woman on the doorstep, he made for his car.

CHAPTER FOUR
STELLA turned sideways and looked at herself in the mirror. Was she overdressed? Perhaps she should have just worn jeans. On the other hand, if it went well they were going on to a restaurant afterwards, so jeans might not be dressy enough.
She looked fine. It was just that the dress reminded her of Daniel.
He’d always loved her in red and the last time she’d worn this dress they’d—
Remembering what they’d done, Stella yanked the dress over her head and threw it on the bed with the other clothes she’d tried on. It was no good. She couldn’t wear it. It just felt wrong. And the pile of clothes on the bed was growing.
Stella stared in the mirror, reminding herself that this was a new relationship. A whole new chapter of her life. And Daniel wasn’t in her life any more.
And the fact that she couldn’t stop thinking about him made it even more important for her to go out with someone else.
Exasperated with herself, she grabbed the red dress again, relieved that no one was watching her. If anyone had seen how indecisive she was about a stupid dress, they’d fire her from her job.
She zipped it up a final time and then tried to do something with her hair, but there was so much static after all the clothes she’d pulled on and off over her head she just gave up in despair and left it loose.
Realising that she was going to be late if she didn’t move fast, she eyed the clothes on the bed and decided she’d have to tidy them up later. Grabbing her favourite pair of black boots, she pulled them on and dragged her coat out of the wardrobe.
By her bed were various bags, filled with the beginnings of her Christmas shopping. Realising how much she still had left to do was enough to induce a panic attack, so she put the thought aside and reminded herself there was plenty of time until Christmas.
Fifteen minutes later she was in the car park of the pub, her heart thumping so hard she felt dizzy.
What if she knew someone in the pub?
She’d intentionally picked somewhere she didn’t usually go, but this part of the Lake District was a relatively small community.
What if Alfie was right and Mr ‘Caring of Cumbria’ was a creep?
Feeling like turning round and driving straight home, it took all of her willpower to step out of the protective cocoon of her little car and walk across the icy car park to the small village pub.
What was the matter with her? It was just a drink, for goodness’ sake. A drink and a meal. If it didn’t work out, she wouldn’t see him again.
As she pushed open the heavy door the warmth hit her and she felt daunted by the throng of people standing shoulder to shoulder at the crowded bar.
Deciding that she’d wait for it to calm down a bit before trying to buy herself a drink, Stella made her way to an empty table by the fire and slid discreetly onto the chair. Aware that everyone in the pub was staring at her, she wished she’d bought herself a drink. At least then she would have had something to do with her hands.
Feeling self-conscious, she removed her coat, but left her scarf round her neck. Staring at the fire, she found herself thinking of Daniel. Then she realised that she didn’t want to think about Daniel and gave herself a mental shake. She wasn’t allowed to think about Daniel. The whole idea of this exercise was not to think about Daniel.
The door to the pub opened, letting in a rush of cold air and a flurry of snow. A short man in a pinstripe suit walked cautiously into the pub, snow clinging to his polished shoes. Hovering on the edges of a group of men dressed in thick cable knit jumpers and sturdy boots, he looked as out of place as a ballerina on Mount Everest.
Stella fought a sudden desire to whip off the red scarf she was wearing and slide under the table out of sight. She couldn’t do that, could she? It would be rude. After agreeing to meet, the least she could do was have a drink with him.
But the thought of spending an evening with him made her feel so intensely gloomy that she contemplated texting Ellie and asking her to bring her emergency call forward by an hour.
Watching his tentative attempts to reach the bar, Stella couldn’t help comparing him to Daniel.
Would this man be bold enough and strong enough to rescue a vulnerable child from a snowy ravine? Would he be cool and decisive enough to make life-and-death decisions, as Daniel did every day in the emergency department?
She turned her head away and stared at the fire, wondering why all the comparisons she was making were against Daniel’s good points. Why couldn’t she focus on his bad points? The man hovering nervously at the bar probably wouldn’t propose to a woman one day and then change his mind a few hours later. The man at the bar was probably extremely patient with people less intelligent than him. He wanted children, and Daniel had made it clear that he had no intention of ever becoming a father. Those were the things she should be thinking about.
So why, knowing all that, was she still thinking of Daniel when she looked at the man at the bar?
The whole situation felt so hopeless that a lump formed in her throat. Getting over someone wasn’t as easy as just finding someone else. It didn’t work like that.
Stella slid her phone out of her pocket, intending to text Ellie and ask her to bring her call forward. But then a girl emerged from the crush at the bar and kissed the man on the cheek.
Feeling impossibly relieved, Stella put the phone back in her pocket.
All that worry and anxiety and it wasn’t even him. But now she had a new worry.
What if he didn’t turn up?
The door opened again and she glanced up expectantly.
Daniel stood in the doorway, flakes of snow clinging to his dark hair and broad shoulders, a dangerous look in his eyes.
‘Dan.’ The barman called out a greeting and Stella frowned slightly because she hadn’t realised that he frequented this pub.
He said something that she didn’t catch and glanced around the noisy pub.
Stella slid down in her seat and tried to be inconspicuous, but she knew it was hopeless. There was no way he could fail to spot her. He was going to want to know what she was doing here and she was going to have to confess that she was meeting a stranger. How sad was that? Not only had she had to resort to the internet to meet a man, but he hadn’t turned up. Her confidence in herself suddenly evaporated.
She was unattractive and she was never going to meet anyone.
‘Stella?’
Accepting the inevitable, she looked up at him.
Flakes of snow clung to his sleek dark hair and his jaw was dark with stubble. With the bulk of his shoulders and those long, strong legs, he looked strong, tough and imposing. A man who was afraid of nothing.
Nothing except commitment, Stella reminded herself wearily, producing what she hoped was a decent imitation of a smile. ‘Hi, Daniel. This is a surprise. I thought you had a date with your lawyer at eight. You’re going to be late. Will she sue you?’
He didn’t laugh. In fact, he seemed a long way from laughing. ‘What are you doing here on your own?’ His ice-blue eyes glittered in the firelight and he pulled out a chair and sat down, nodding his thanks as the landlord discreetly placed a drink in front of him.
Stella fiddled with her scarf. ‘They give you free drinks here?’
‘His daughter fell in a climbing accident last summer. Nasty head injury. Tricky evacuation.’
‘And you rescued her?’
‘I was part of the team.’
Despite his concise, factual answer, Stella knew instinctively that he would have been the one to rescue the girl and manage the head injury. ‘Have you had many callouts lately?’
‘I don’t want to talk about the mountain rescue team.’ Daniel’s eyes were fixed on her face. ‘Tell me why you’re here.’
That was the other thing about Daniel. He came straight to the point.
‘I—I fancied a drink.’
‘On your own?’
‘No, not on my own. I was supposed to be meeting someone but he’s been …’ She licked her lips. ‘He’s been delayed.’
‘Who are you supposed to be meeting? Your new boyfriend?’
Something in his tone made her look at him closely and she saw the tightness of his mouth and the deadly gleam of his eyes under the veil of thick, dark lashes. ‘Why does it matter to you?’
‘Because I don’t think you should meet strange men in pubs.’ His tone abrupt and gritty, Daniel lifted his drink and Stella sensed that he knew.
He knew she was seeing someone she’d met on the internet.
Stella wondered why that felt so humiliating. ‘Who told you?’
‘That doesn’t matter.’ He put his drink down on the table with a thump. ‘What matters is that you’ve arranged to meet a guy you don’t know. Have you no sense of self-preservation?’
Startled by the anger in his voice, Stella looked at him. ‘I’m in a crowded pub,’ she said reasonably. ‘What’s going to happen?’
‘He’ll invite you back to his place and—’ Daniel broke off, his eyes on her neckline.
‘What?’
‘You’re wearing your red dress.’
‘What’s wrong with that?’ Exasperated and self-conscious, Stella reached for her coat and pulled it on. ‘I like this red dress. And I’m on a date. Go away and leave me alone, Daniel.’ She’d hoped that the feelings she’d had for him had died, but she was fast discovering that life wasn’t as simple as that.
‘It isn’t the right dress to wear with someone you’ve never met.’
‘I wanted to look nice!’
‘You’re asking for trouble.’
‘Well, it’s hard to get into trouble with someone who hasn’t even turned up.’ Smarting with humiliation and anger, Stella picked up her bag and stood up. ‘Thanks for the feedback, Dan.’ Furiously angry with him, and with herself for caring what he thought, Stella walked quickly out of the pub.
The cold punched her in the face and she told herself that it was the weather that was making her eyes water as she picked her way across the icy car park towards her car. The temperature had dropped and a bitter wind breathed freezing air over her as she snuggled deeper inside her coat. Her windscreen was opaque with ice and she pulled a scraper out of her bag and attacked the ice, her fingers numb with cold as it showered over her hands. Scraping methodically, she wondered whether every Christmas was destined to be a romantic disaster for her.
Last Christmas she’d been working and the nearest she’d got to romance had been when a ninety-year-old patient had assured her that if he’d been six decades younger he would have married her. The Christmas before that—well, she wasn’t even going to think about that one but this one didn’t promise to be too much better.
The way the festive season was unfolding it looked as though she was going to need to stock up on comfort food.
As she pulled her car keys from her pocket and turned to unlock the car, her feet slid from under her and she would have fallen if strong hands hadn’t caught her.
‘Careful. It’s icy.’ Daniel’s rough, masculine voice was next to her ear and she wrenched herself away from him.
‘Let me go, Dan.’ Terrified that she wasn’t going to be able to hold it together, Stella shrugged him off with as much dignity as she could and opened her car door. ‘I wish I could say it was nice bumping into you, but it wasn’t.’
With a rough curse he turned her to face him, his hard, powerful body pressing her back against the cold metal of the car. ‘Why are you meeting men on the internet?’
‘Because I don’t meet any decent ones in real life!’ Her eyes clashed with his and then his hands slid into her hair and his mouth came down on hers.
It was so sudden and unexpected that she had no time to react.
The warmth of his mouth was such a contrast to the ice cold wind brushing her cheeks that she moaned in shock. And then she was responding to the seductive pressure of his kiss, her arms winding around his neck, her body trembling against his solid, masculine strength. His fingers tightened on her face, his kiss demanding and erotic as he created fire and flame with his mouth and tongue.
It was an explosion of pure sensuality, a heated, unfaltering, indulgent expression of passion that neither of them was able to halt.
And then the pub door opened behind them and the sound of laughter penetrated their sensual haze. Daniel tore his mouth from hers, swore fluently and stepped away from her. Raising his hands in a gesture of apology, he shook his head in disbelief, regret visible in his eyes. ‘Stella, I didn’t mean to—’
‘Oh, get away from me, Dan,’ she choked, sliding into the car and slamming the door, her body still reeling from that kiss. She didn’t know which was worse—the fact that he’d kissed her or that fact that he hadn’t meant to do it.
Damn, damn, damn. She should have pushed him away and showed him that she wasn’t interested.
Why hadn’t she done that?
Why hadn’t she slapped his indecently handsome face?
Her hands shaking, she started the engine, crunched the gears, set the wipers going, skidded the car and then swung onto the road, desperate to get away from him.
Oh, God, she was going to have an accident if she carried on like this.
The knowledge that it would probably be Daniel who would patch her up if she was taken to the emergency department was enough of an incentive to make her slow her speed.
Fortunately the roads were deserted and she switched off the wipers that were moving snow across her windscreen and turned the heating as high as it would go.
What a total disaster.
The evening was supposed to have been the first step in her Daniel Recovery Programme, instead of which she’d slipped right back into her old habits. It was like surviving an earthquake only to be trapped in a lethal aftershock.
It was all his fault. He was the one who had kissed her. Why couldn’t he have just left her alone? Or why hadn’t she slapped his face?
Furious with herself and even more furious with him, Stella crunched the gears again, tears blurring her vision as she drove down the narrow, empty roads that led to Patrick’s barn.
It had been stupid to come back to the Lake District again. It was all very well having grand ideas about dating other men but the truth was she didn’t want another man.
She wanted Daniel. She always had. And it didn’t matter how unsuitable he was, she still wanted him. Patrick was right—love wasn’t something you could switch on and off.
Her vision blurred and as she pulled into the courtyard of the barn, she almost crashed into the back of Patrick’s car.
Slamming her brakes on just in time, the car slid to a halt a mere centimetre from his bumper and she switched off the engine and closed her eyes.
What next?
Her car door opened. ‘Are you trying to kill yourself or me?’ Patrick took one look at her frozen features and leaned across and undid her seat belt. ‘Come on. You look as though you need a drink.’
‘Actually, I don’t need a drink.’ Her teeth were chattering. ‘I just want to be by myself.’
‘No, you don’t.’ Patrick pulled her gently out of the car. ‘Believe me, I’ve tried that in your situation. It doesn’t work. Much better to have company when you’re feeling down.’
‘You’re the wrong company. I need to yell and say bad things about your brother.’
‘You can yell and say bad things about my brother. I promise not to defend him.’ Patrick locked her car and pushed her towards the stable. ‘We’ll use your place. Mrs Thornton is staying the night so there’s no guarantee of privacy in mine.’
Stella pulled the keys to the stable out of her pocket and promptly dropped them.
With a sigh, Patrick stooped and picked them up. ‘Thank goodness you’re not working in Resus tonight. I gather “Caring of Cumbria” wasn’t what you were hoping for. Was he ugly?’
‘I have no idea. He didn’t turn up.’ Stella pulled off her boots and dropped them by the door. ‘Unfortunately, Daniel did.’
‘Dan was at the pub?’ Patrick closed the door behind them. ‘I thought he had a date with the lawyer.’
‘Well, apparently he found the time to come and ruin my evening first.’ Stella filled the kettle, grateful for the cosy warmth of the stable. ‘Patrick, it’s really sweet of you to check up on me, but I’d like to be on my own.’
Ignoring her, Patrick slid onto one of the tall stools by the breakfast bar. ‘So Daniel turned up—that’s interesting.’
‘It wasn’t interesting.’ Stella pulled a mug out of the cupboard. ‘It was inconvenient, thoughtless, annoying—since you’re determined not to let me have my tantrum on my own, do you want a coffee?’
‘Please. Black, no sugar. I need the caffeine—I have a feeling I’m going to be back at the hospital soon.’
Stella made the coffee. ‘You work too hard.’
‘You sound like my ex-wife.’ Patrick gave a wry smile and lifted his hand in a gesture of apology. ‘Forget I said that—you’re nothing like my ex-wife.’
‘Do you hear from her?’
‘No, and the only reason I care is for the kids. I can’t believe she can just turn her back on her own children.’ His tone was hard. ‘Do you know what really gets to me? The fact that Alfie is OK about it. He saw so little of her that he’s hardly noticed her absence.’
Stella handed him a mug. ‘He’s a sweet boy.’
‘I just hope all of this hasn’t put him off relationships. I worry that he’ll think marriage isn’t a good idea. Like Daniel.’
‘Alfie doesn’t seem to think that. It always amazes me how much children see. He’s pretty wise for ten years old.’ Stella passed him a packet of biscuits. ‘I keep them for Alfie’s visits. Please eat them or I’ll eat them all myself. I’m in that sort of mood. Why did Daniel have to turn up at the pub tonight? Just bad luck, I suppose.’
Patrick took a biscuit. ‘Bad luck doesn’t take you to a pub when you have a date on the other side of town.’
‘You don’t think it was an accident that he was there?’ Stella warmed her cold hands on her mug. ‘How could he possibly have known where I was meeting the guy? Even you didn’t know.’
‘Actually, I did.’ Patrick pulled a face. ‘Alfie told me.’
Stella groaned. ‘Alfie? You think he said something to Daniel?’
‘I think he might have done. The two of them were talking earlier. Money changed hands. Sorry, Stella.’
‘It isn’t Alfie’s fault. And to be honest, it wasn’t even a secret. I suppose I didn’t imagine for a moment Daniel would be interested. And even if he knew where I was going …’ Stella put her mug down. ‘Why would he bother coming? It doesn’t make sense.’
‘Doesn’t it? If you want my opinion, I think my beloved twin couldn’t face the thought of you seeing someone else. It isn’t just me he doesn’t want you to have a relationship with.’ Patrick took a mouthful of coffee. ‘It’s anyone. What does that tell you?’
‘That he’s lost his mind,’ Stella muttered, rubbing her forehead with her fingers as she tried to make sense of what he was saying. ‘He didn’t want me.’
‘Oh, he wanted you, angel. And he obviously still wants you.’
Did he want her? Stella thought about the kiss and felt her cheeks turn pink. Quickly she picked up her coffee again. ‘Even if the chemistry is still there, nothing has changed.’ She was saying it to remind herself as much as Patrick. ‘We want different things.’
‘Yes. I know. That’s what makes the whole thing complicated.’ Patrick suppressed a yawn. ‘So what did he say to you tonight?’
‘He basically turned into a macho, chest-thumping, over-protective …’
Stella ran out of adjectives. ‘He didn’t like the idea of me meeting a stranger.’
‘Neither do I.’
‘You didn’t turn up and hang over me.’
‘No, but I confess I did ring the landlord and ask him to watch out for you.’ Patrick handed her his empty mug. ‘I’d better go. I need to check that Alfie isn’t watching unsuitable movies.’
‘You rang the landlord?’ Stella was stunned by that confession but Patrick simply smiled.
‘Daniel isn’t the only Buchannan brother who can be macho and over-protective.’ He leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek. ‘Goodnight. I’ll leave you to your internet search. Next time make sure you pick someone who is going to show up.’

CHAPTER FIVE
‘STELLA, have you seen Daniel?’ Ellie hurried into the treatment room where Stella was just finishing a dressing. ‘The paramedics are bringing in a baby with breathing problems. I need him.’
‘I haven’t seen him.’ She’d made sure she hadn’t seen him. She didn’t want to set eyes on him until she’d calmed down.
The more she thought about what had happened the evening before, the angrier she became.
Stella saw her patient out of the room and Ellie looked at her closely.
‘All right, tell me what’s wrong. You’ve been hiding in the treatment room all morning.’
‘I’m not hiding.’
‘Your evening didn’t go so well, did it? When you texted me to say you were at home, I gathered something was up. Was he creepy?’
‘He didn’t show up.’ Neither had he emailed. Stella frowned, finding it a little strange that he hadn’t given her some reason for the fact that he hadn’t shown up. Mind you, she hadn’t given him her mobile number, had she? Apart from ringing through to the pub, he’d had no way of contacting her once she’d left the stable for the evening. But there had been no email waiting when she’d arrived home. ‘Obviously he changed his mind.’
‘So you just sat there for a bit and then left?’
Daniel’s dark, handsome features swam in her brain. ‘That’s right. Early night.’ And she felt horribly confused about the whole thing. Too confused even to talk to Ellie.
‘You look tired for someone that had an early night.’ Ellie leaned forward and gave her a hug. ‘Why don’t you come over to my house one evening this week? I can get the kids to sleep early and we can open a bottle and watch something romantic.’
‘Romance isn’t working for me at the moment, but thanks.’ Stella hugged her back. ‘You need to make the most of your evenings with Ben. You see little enough of him.’
‘That’s true, but there’s something wonderfully soothing about talking to a girlfriend and ranting about the things that men just don’t understand.’ Ellie glanced at her watch. ‘The ambulance will be here in a moment—I’d better go and find Daniel. I don’t suppose I could persuade you to work in Paediatric Resus, could I?’
‘What’s happened to Andrea?’
‘She had to transfer a patient to Theatre and she isn’t back yet. And on top of that she irritates Daniel because she’s slow.’
Knowing that to refuse would raise more questions than she wanted to answer, Stella gave a nod. ‘All right. Tell me about this baby.’
‘Five months old. Born at thirty-six weeks by Caesarean section—one of Patrick’s, I think.’ Ellie frowned. ‘Anyway, the mum called the emergency services tonight after the baby turned blue and stopped breathing.’ They hurried towards the paediatric area of the emergency department and met Daniel heading in the same direction.
It was the first time Stella had seen him since the previous evening—since the kiss—and she felt the colour flare in her cheeks. Despite her best intentions, all she could think about was the way his mouth had felt against hers.
His eyes raked her face, held hers for a disturbing moment and then his jaw tightened and he pushed open the doors to Resus with slightly more force than was necessary. ‘What have we got?’
A mess, Stella thought helplessly, thinking of their own situation.
‘Five-month-old baby …’ Ellie repeated the information she’d given Stella, just as the paramedics arrived with the baby.
A pale-faced woman with no make-up and untidy hair was with them, holding a squirming toddler by the hand. ‘Please don’t make me go and sit in the waiting room. I can’t bear to leave Poppy.’
‘You’re her mother?’ Daniel walked across to the trolley and the woman nodded.
‘We’ve been up all night for three nights and I can’t even think straight any more.’ Her eyes filled. ‘She stopped breathing.’ She broke off as the toddler started to whine and Stella took one look at his exhausted, stressed mother and scooped him up.
‘Come and see what’s in my magic box,’ she whispered into his ear, and the toddler stopped grizzling and looked interested. Stella pulled out the toy box that was hidden away for occasions such as this, and settled the toddler on the floor. ‘This is full of exciting things. See if you can find my special blue car. I’m just going to see to your sister. I’ll be back in a minute.’
While Daniel was questioning the mother, Stella attached the baby to a cardiac monitor and a pulse oximeter.
‘Sats are 92 in air,’ she murmured, and Daniel glanced at the monitor.
‘Let’s give her humidified oxygen and ask the paediatric registrar to come down. Whatever the outcome of my examination, she’s going to need to be admitted.’ Removing a stethoscope from his pocket, he turned back to the mother. ‘You say that you’ve been up all night for three nights. Was that when she first became ill?’
‘I thought she just had a cold. She just had a runny nose and a bit of a temperature. It’s that time of year, isn’t it? And then suddenly she started coughing—this horrible dry cough. And she stopped feeding.’
‘A baby with a respiratory infection can’t always take the same amount of food as usual.’ Daniel slid the jumper over the baby’s head and undid the vest. ‘So what happened to make you call the ambulance?’
‘I put her down for a nap and when I looked at her she was blue and she stopped breathing for a bit. Honestly, I didn’t imagine it.’
‘Her respirations are 70,’ Stella said, and Daniel gave a nod as he shifted the vest and looked at the baby’s chest.
‘I’m sure you didn’t imagine it.’ He glanced at the mother with a smile, everything about him calm and reassuring. ‘It isn’t uncommon for young babies with bronchiolitis to have pauses in their breathing and I suspect that’s what’s going on here. I’m going to take a good look at her and then we’ll decide how best to treat her.’
‘I honestly thought she was going to die.’
‘There’s nothing more frightening than being on your own at home with a sick baby. It’s hard to think straight, especially when you’ve been up all night.’ Daniel watched the baby’s chest rise and fall. ‘You did the right thing to bring her in. We have an excellent paediatric department here and we won’t be sending Poppy home until we’re happy with her.’
In response to his sympathetic comments, the mother put her hand to her face and started to cry. ‘Sorry—you must think I’m a total nutcase, it’s just that I’m so tired and I’ve been so worried.’
‘I’m not surprised. Any normal parent would be out of their mind with worry.’ Daniel gestured to the chair and then put the stethoscope in his ears. ‘Sit down before you drop and I have to treat you, too. Once I have a better idea what’s going on, you can get yourself a hot drink in the café down the corridor. You look as though you need one.’ Then he turned back to the baby, his hands infinitely gentle as he examined her.
‘Poppy sick?’ The toddler wandered across to the trolley, clutching a blue car, and Stella admired the toy before turning back to help Daniel.
He was so good with children and that made the whole thing so much worse.
Although she knew he didn’t think so himself, Stella knew that Daniel would make a wonderful father.
While he concentrated on his tiny patient, she found herself looking at him. Why couldn’t she be indifferent? He was so unsuitable. He didn’t want what she wanted. So why did she still find him so desperately attractive? She gazed at the strong, bold lines of his bone structure and the dark shadow that emphasised his jaw. And her heart stumbled.
Daniel removed the stethoscope from his ears and met her gaze. He frowned briefly, clearly aware that she was thinking about more than the patient. ‘Fine inspiratory crackles,’ he said gruffly, ‘and she has a high-pitched expiratory wheeze. She has nasal flaring, grunting and her chest is visibly hyper-inflated so I think we’re looking at a diagnosis of bronchiolitis. Did you ring Paeds?’
Stella pulled herself together. ‘Yes. The registrar is just finishing a lumbar puncture and then he’ll be down.’ She turned her attention back to the baby, telling herself that her relationship with Daniel would become easier over time. It was bound to feel hard at first, wasn’t it? It was up to her to move on.
Maybe ‘Caring of Cumbria’ hadn’t worked out—but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t meet someone else. She wasn’t going to give up at the first fence.
‘What exactly is bronchiolitis?’ The exhausted young mother stood up and stroked her baby’s head gently. ‘Could I have avoided it somehow?’
‘It’s a viral infection of the small airway, very common in the winter months, especially in this age group.’ Daniel took his pen out of his pocket. ‘There’s absolutely nothing you could have done.’
‘I feel like a terrible mother. I feel like I’ve let her down. I should have brought her days ago.’
‘She wasn’t as ill as this days ago, or you would have brought her.’ Daniel wrote up some drugs on the notes. ‘You haven’t let her down. You’ve done all the right things. You’re a brilliant mum.’
The woman flushed. ‘I don’t feel brilliant. I feel … incoherent. I haven’t been to bed for three nights.’
‘That’s why you’re brilliant,’ Daniel said easily. ‘Some mothers would have just gone back to sleep. You’ve put yourself through the wringer because you’ve been watching over your child. That makes you brilliant in my book. How many feeds has Poppy had today in comparison to normal?’
The mother flushed but it was obvious that Daniel’s words had bolstered her self-confidence and given her the extra strength she needed to get through the crisis.
Stella studied Daniel’s profile, wondering what his own mother had been like. She knew that his childhood had been far from idyllic, but he rarely divulged any details.
He had firm views on mothers, she knew that.
And fathers.
And he didn’t think he’d make a good one.
Oblivious to her scrutiny, he was scribbling on the notes. ‘How many wet nappies?’
The mother pulled a face. ‘I—I don’t know. Why is that important?’
‘Because it helps us assess how dehydrated she is. We may need to give her some fluid into her vein, but I’m going to leave that to my paediatric colleagues to decide.’
‘Can you give her antibiotics or something?’
‘It’s caused by a virus so antibiotics won’t help.’ Daniel looked up as the door opened. ‘This is Deborah—she’s the paediatric doctor.’ He outlined the case to Deborah, who immediately arranged for the child to be admitted.
Stella watched the easy smile he gave to the other doctor and wondered whether they’d had a relationship in the past two years.
Gritting her teeth, she gathered up the baby’s things. None of her business, she reminded herself. She no longer had any interest in Daniel Buchannan’s love life.
And that was the way it was going to stay.
As the paediatric team took over care of the baby and transferred her, she expected Daniel to go back to work. Instead, he closed the door of Resus so that the two of them were alone.
‘Listen, about last night—’
‘Yes, last night.’ Her temper exploded, fuelled by all the confusing feelings he’d released inside her. ‘Don’t you ever kiss me again, Daniel Buchannan. Do you hear me?’
‘You kissed me, too.’
‘Yes, I did. And it was a mistake!’ She glared at him. ‘I didn’t come back here to get involved with you again. What do you think I am? Stupid? Some sort of masochist? You think I want to put myself through that pain again?’
His eyes narrowed. ‘Stella—’
‘Kiss me again and I’ll injure you!’ She stabbed her finger towards him. ‘If you want a woman, I’m sure your lawyer will oblige.’
His expression was defensive. ‘You have no reason to be jealous of her.’
‘I’m not jealous. I’m angry. I’m angry that you can be so—so …’ She stumbled over the words. ‘Careless about my feelings.’
‘I’m not careless,’ Daniel said roughly. ‘It’s because I care that I broke off our engagement. I knew I couldn’t give you what you wanted. I couldn’t be what you wanted me to be. If I’d married you, I would have made you miserable.’
‘Well, breaking off our engagement didn’t exactly make my day, either!’ Furious with herself and with him, Stella turned away and started clearing up the equipment from the trolley with more clatter and energy than was entirely necessary. ‘We can work together, Daniel, because we’re both professionals. As for the rest of it—I want you to stay away from me.’ Because she didn’t trust herself …
With a soft curse, Daniel strode towards her, his eyes glittering dangerously as he moved her away from the trolley and backed her against the wall. ‘Enough of this,’ he growled, planting his arms either side of her so that she was trapped. ‘Are you trying to pretend you don’t feel anything?’
‘No, I’m not. But I don’t want to feel anything, can’t you understand that?’ Her legs were shaking and her insides were as hot and fluid as molten lava. ‘You hurt me, Daniel.’
‘You think I don’t know that?’ He put his hand under her chin and forced her to look at him. ‘You think I don’t know exactly what I did two years ago? Believe me, I know.’
‘So why did you kiss me again?’ She tried to ignore his tantalising male scent and those blue eyes, programmed to drive a woman wild. ‘You want to put me through it all a second time?’
‘No.’ His gaze dropped to her mouth and lingered there. ‘I kissed you because I can’t be that close to you and not want to kiss you. That’s how it’s always been. Most of the time I manage to control it but last night—last night, I didn’t. I was angry that you were meeting a stranger. Angry that you wore the red dress.’ The expression in his eyes was personal—intimate—and Stella felt the breath jam in her throat.
‘What I wear isn’t any of your business.’ His face was close to hers, just a breath away from touching.
‘Why did you come back, Stella?’
She gave a low moan and closed her eyes, struggling against instincts that were stronger than her. ‘I’ve told you why. Because this is my home.’ Her heart was thumping dangerously hard and her body yearned to melt into his. ‘Are you suggesting this is all my fault?’ Oh, God, of course it was her fault. She’d overestimated the strength of her willpower, hadn’t she?
‘You knew I was here, but you chose to come back. You knew what would happen when we were alone together. Look at me.’ His fingers tightened on her chin, demanding—possessive. ‘Admit it, Stella. This was always going to be difficult.’
She looked at him and immediately wished she hadn’t because eye contact simply intensified the chemistry. ‘Why would it be difficult?! You didn’t want me—’
‘That isn’t true. You know that isn’t true.’ His mouth was dangerously close to hers. ‘I won’t make a good husband or a good father, but that deficiency in my make-up has no effect on my skills as a lover.’
A delicious shiver ran through her body. ‘Dan, please—’
‘I’ve always wanted you,’ he breathed huskily. ‘I’ve wanted you from the very first day I saw you.’
‘Stop it!’ Stella twisted her head away, trying to free herself from temptation. ‘You’re the one making this difficult.’
‘No. It’s difficult because our relationship didn’t really end. I told you that I didn’t want marriage and children, but I never once told you that I didn’t want you.’
Stella pushed at his chest and struggled to find willpower. ‘You wanted sex with no commitment.’
‘I made a commitment,’ he said roughly. ‘I was with you. There was no one else for me.’
Thinking about their relationship was bitter-sweet. She’d been so excited about the future, in love for the first time in her life …
‘It wasn’t enough, Daniel. I want more than that. I’m old-fashioned. I want a man to love me enough to marry me.’ Her voice broke because it seemed impossible to imagine ever loving a man as much as she loved Daniel. ‘Why are we going over this again? Leave me alone, Daniel. I’m trying to build a new life.’
‘Is that why you’re meeting strange men in pubs? Is that the “new life” you want?’ The sudden hardness of his tone slashed like the blade of a knife and her chin lifted.
‘That’s none of your business.’
‘I’m just worried about you, that’s all.’
‘You don’t need to worry. I’m not your problem Daniel.’ Unsettled by her own feelings as much as the look in his eyes, Stella ducked under his arm and walked towards the door, her legs shaking so badly she could hardly walk. ‘Neither am I your responsibility. If I choose to meet a stranger in a pub, that’s my decision.’
‘It’s a lousy decision.’ His blue eyes glittered dangerously as he watched her retreat. ‘Why are you meeting men over the internet?’
‘Why not?’ She held his gaze and for a moment they just looked at each other.
‘It isn’t safe to meet strangers,’ he said roughly. ‘You could get hurt.’
‘You hurt me, Daniel. You hurt me.’ Stella turned away, confused and frustrated. Was he asking her not to meet anyone? Was he suggesting that they resurrect their relationship? Part of her was appalled at the thought, but another tiny part of her was desperately hopeful and she hated the fact that she could still feel that way.
‘I know I hurt you.’ His voice was low and impossibly sexy. ‘I know I can’t be what you want me to be.’ He broke off and muttered something under his breath, his shoulders visibly tense. ‘Just be careful, that’s all I ask. If you want to meet a man, go to the Christmas party. At least it’s a safe environment. You know lots of the people and you’re less likely to get hurt.’
Her fantasies shattered like glass on concrete.
He was encouraging her to meet someone else.
‘You can just as easily get hurt by the people you love as by strangers,’ Stella said pointedly, turning and looking him in the eye. ‘And when I need your help or advice to meet a man, I’ll ask.’ Without giving him time to reply, she stalked out of the room and let the door swing shut behind her, wishing for the first time in her life that she’d never met Daniel Buchannan.
Stretched out in a chair in his office, exhausted after eleven hours with no break, Daniel stared blankly at the computer screen, his mind full of the night before.
He never should have kissed her.
What had possessed him to do such an utterly stupid thing?
As if things hadn’t been hard enough before that.
He still didn’t understand exactly why he’d lost control.
One moment he’d been furiously angry, the next he’d been kissing her. Usually with women he choreographed every move—he was always in control. He made sure of it. He knew when he was going to ask them out, he knew where he was going to take them—control was part of the way he protected himself.
Only with Stella there was no control. And there never had been.
Sliding his hand over his face, he muttered a black oath.
Nothing had changed between them. Except that they were no longer together.
Dwelling on that uncomfortable truth, Daniel glanced up to see his brother standing in the doorway. ‘What are you doing here? Is someone giving birth in my department?’
‘No. I have some news. And I need a favour.’ Patrick frowned at him. ‘You look as though you’re in a filthy mood. What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing.’ Somehow Daniel couldn’t bring himself to confess his thoughts about Stella. He waited while his brother sprawled in the only armchair in his office. ‘You don’t look so good yourself.’
‘Tired.’ Patrick closed his eyes and Daniel frowned slightly.
‘Is it the job or the kids?’ Out of the corner of his eye, Daniel surveyed his desk, barely visible beneath the piles of files and papers that people wanted him to read. For a brief moment he wondered what would happen if he just tipped the lot into the bin. Would anyone notice? He didn’t have time to deal with any of it all anyway, so it may as well be in the bin. His computer was telling him that he had seventy-two new messages in his inbox and he stifled the temptation to just switch the thing off at the mains. ‘What’s the problem?’ Apart from the fact your wife left you with two little kids.
‘I’m knackered.’ His brother opened his eyes briefly. ‘If the labour ward rings, you haven’t seen me.’
‘That bad, huh?’ Daniel gave a sympathetic grin and transferred the files on his desk to the floor. ‘Busy night?’
‘Not particularly.’ His brother’s eyes drifted shut again. ‘But I didn’t get any sleep, thanks to a certain woman in my life.’
Daniel gave a slow smile of masculine approval. ‘Now, that is good news. I’ve been telling you for months that it’s time for you to get out there again. Tell me that she was incredible in bed, cooks like an angel and is dying to take on a single dad with two small children who spends most of his waking hours working.’
Patrick opened his eyes. ‘What are you talking about?’
‘The woman you spent last night with—I want the details. Blonde? Brunette? Redhead? God, I love redheads. My lawyer is a redhead.’
‘You always preferred blondes.’
‘Well, now I prefer redheads. Very dominant and assertive.’ Omitting to mention that he couldn’t help comparing every blonde to Stella, Daniel noticed more emails fly into his inbox and swivelled the chair so that he could no longer see the screen. ‘And we were talking about you, not me. Why don’t we grab a beer after work and you can give me the details?’
‘Can’t. I need to get home. And there isn’t a woman. At least, not the sort that you mean.’ Patrick ran a hand over his face. ‘It was Posy who kept me awake. I was talking about Posy.’
The smile left Daniel’s face. ‘You’re exhausted because of your three-year-old daughter?’
‘That’s right.’ Patrick’s eyes closed again and his head dropped back against the chair. ‘I don’t know whether she’s teething or whether she has a cold coming but she’s really fractious at the moment. In the end she slept in my bed and it was hell. She always lies horizontally so her feet are in my—’
‘You know what?’ Daniel lifted a hand as he interrupted him. ‘This is too much detail. I honestly don’t need to know about the sleeping patterns of a three-year-old.’
Patrick was silent for a moment and then he opened his eyes and looked straight at his brother. ‘You’re very fond of Posy. And of Alfie.’
‘Of course I am.’ Daniel waved a hand. ‘I’m a doting uncle. The job description for doting uncle is that I smother them with extravagant gifts on various important dates like birthdays and Christmas and as they grow up I take them on the odd climbing expedition and for rides in my fast sports car to impress their friends.’
Patrick was silent for a moment and it seemed to Daniel that his twin brother looked more exhausted than he’d ever seen him.
‘You need some time away.’
Patrick gave a nod. ‘That’s what I’m planning.’
‘You are? Without the kids? Perfect. What’s the plan?’
‘Do you remember that lecture I gave in Chicago? Well, they’ve offered me a job. Part clinical–part academic. It would give me more time at home with the kids—’
‘A job in Chicago?’ Daniel frowned slightly, unsure how he felt about his brother relocating to the States. ‘You’re considering that?’
‘I thought it was worth a look. They want me to come across and meet them. Look around, interview …’ Patrick shrugged. ‘You know the score.’
‘Great. Go for it. Fresh start. Well, at least go and talk to them.’
‘I’d like to. And that brings me to the favour I need.’
‘Of course. I know your sweet ex-wife cost you a fortune. I don’t know how you’ve coped.’ Even when Patrick’s petulant, moody wife had finally stopped having tantrums and left him and the children, his brother had just gritted his teeth and got on with his life. He’d shifted his workload so that he could continue in his role as obs and gynae consultant and still spend time at home with the children. Daniel reached for his chequebook. ‘How much?’
‘I don’t need money. Money isn’t my problem. I need a different sort of favour.’
‘Name it.’ Daniel thought of the hell that his brother had been through since his wife had left and waved a hand expressively. ‘Anything. What do you need? A lift to the airport?’
‘I need you to look after the kids.’
‘What?’ Daniel stared at him with undisguised horror. ‘You have to be kidding. No. Absolutely no.’
‘You said anything.’
‘Anything but that.’ Daniel launched himself out of his chair, knocking pens and papers onto the floor. ‘Why would you even ask me that? I’m the last person in the world that any sane person would want looking after their kids. I’m terrible with kids. That’s why I don’t have any of my own.’
‘You’re my family. And you’re their family.’
‘That’s no reason to punish them! Or me.’ Daniel felt panic mingle with guilt. ‘Don’t ask me to do this, Ric.’
‘I’m asking. And it isn’t a punishment for the kids. They love you. You’ve been a constant in their lives since they were born.’
Nervous now, Daniel paced around his office. ‘From a distance. I told you, I do the fun stuff. I don’t do any of the nitty-gritty practical stuff. I wouldn’t know how. What if they can’t sleep, or they fall over—well, actually the falling over bit would be about the only thing I’d be qualified to deal with, but …’ Daniel felt the prickle of sweat on his brow and ran a hand over his face. ‘Can’t you just take them with you?’
‘Posy is too little and I don’t want Alfie to miss school. And who would look after them while I’m looking around the hospital and talking to people? I don’t want some stranger caring for my kids. You’ll be fine. It’s another week until the Christmas holidays start.’
‘Why can’t Mrs Thornton do it?’
‘I can’t give her sole responsibility for the children.’
‘Stella?’
‘I can’t ask her to look after two kids that aren’t hers.’
‘You’re asking me—’
‘Because you’re my brother.’ Patrick sank his hands into his hair. ‘Do you honestly think I’d be asking you if I had a choice? I know you’ll hate every minute, but I also know the kids will be safe with you.’
Daniel’s heart was pounding. ‘Ask me anything else,’ he said hoarsely. ‘A horse for Posy. Anything. But don’t ask me to look after them.’
‘Posy is too young to need a horse.’
‘See?’ Daniel spread his hands. ‘I don’t even know that. I don’t know what children do at what age. I wouldn’t be safe with them. You’re mad even to ask me.’
‘You won’t have to do much,’ Patrick said wearily. ‘Just give them breakfast and get Alfie to school. Then you bring Posy here and drop her into the hospital crèche on your way to work.’
‘I can’t fit the kids in my sports car.’
‘We’ll swap cars. I’ll take the Porsche and you can use my four-wheel drive.’
Daniel lifted an eyebrow. ‘If that’s supposed to be an incentive, you don’t know me very well,’ he drawled. ‘Listen. I’m the last person in the world that anyone would want looking after their kids. I don’t know anything about kids.’
‘You work in A and E. You know a great deal about kids.’
‘I know how to fix them when they’re broken!’ Daniel glared at him. ‘And I’m assuming you don’t want yours broken, which they will be if I look after them!’ He felt something close to panic rise inside him and then he looked at his brother—saw the dark shadows in his eyes.
‘You’re my brother,’ Patrick said softly. ‘That makes you suitable. You’re the only person I trust.’
Daniel lifted his hand to his throat, feeling as though he was being strangled. ‘All right, I’ll do it.’ His mouth was moving even while his brain was still trying to refuse. ‘But you have to leave me some textbooks or something.’
‘They’re just kids, Dan,’ Patrick looked amused. ‘You don’t need books. They’ll tell you what they want.’
‘Posy is so little. How am I going to know what she wants?’
‘She’ll tell you. Alfie is good with her. He’ll help.’ Patrick glanced at the clock. ‘I’d better get back. Thanks. And stop worrying. It’s only for four days, Dan. What can possibly go wrong?’
‘I assume you don’t want me to answer that.’ Daniel strode back to his desk and delved under a pile of papers for his mobile. ‘The first thing I’m doing is calling Andrea.’
‘Your frosty lawyer? How’s that going?’
‘We’ve both been too busy for me to thaw her out,’ Daniel muttered. ‘One of the disadvantages of dating a career-woman is that they’re too involved in their career to see you. And when she’s available, I’m not. This place is death on a relationship, you know that.’ Seeing his brother’s face, he closed his eyes briefly. ‘Sorry.’
‘It’s all right. Carly didn’t leave because of the job—that was just her excuse. She left because she was Carly.’ Patrick rose to his feet. ‘Why would you call Andrea?’
‘Because she’s a woman. She’ll know what to do with a ten-year-old and a three-year-old.’
‘I wouldn’t be too sure about that.’
‘Well, she’s going to know more than me.’ Daniel dialled the number. ‘When are you leaving?’
‘Saturday.’
‘That gives me four days to bring in reinforcements.’
‘If you get stuck, you can always bang on the stable door and ask Stella to help. The kids love her.’
Daniel thought about the kiss and gritted his teeth. Stella had made it clear she didn’t want him anywhere near her, and he was in agreement.
If last night had taught him anything, it was that the chemistry between them was still alive and well. And that could only lead to trouble.
No way would he be banging on the stable door.

CHAPTER SIX
IT SNOWED for the next four days and they were so busy in the emergency department that when she finally had a day off, Stella slept late.
Relishing the thought of a whole weekend ahead of her, she decided to check whether Patrick needed any help preparing for his trip.
Dressing in warm clothes, she picked her way gingerly across the snow-covered yard and banged on the door.
Daniel yanked it open. One of the kittens shot past him and out of the door and Stella stooped and caught it. She was so shocked to see Daniel there that she was glad of a reason to hide her scarlet face.
‘Where do you think you’re going?’ She cuddled the kitten close and then looked at Daniel, trying to keep her expression neutral. ‘I didn’t know you were here. I was going to talk to Patrick …’ Her voice tailed off as she saw the red streak on his cheek. ‘What happened to you? Are you bleeding?’
Daniel lifted a hand and scrubbed at the mark. ‘It’s probably paint. Posy is painting. She doesn’t appear to have a very good sense of direction with the brush. Thanks for catching the kitten. I keep forgetting I’m not supposed to open the door.’
‘Right.’ The situation felt horribly awkward. ‘Is Patrick around?’
‘He’s gone into town to get a few things for his trip. I’m having a practice run with the children.’
Stella looked at the paint on his cheek. ‘And how’s that going?’
‘Both kids were still alive last time I looked.’ His lazy drawl was a contrast to the tension she saw in his eyes.
‘You’ll be fine.’ Stella’s eye caught movement behind him. ‘That red paint you mentioned—Posy appears to be painting on the wall. Is that what you had planned?’
Daniel turned swiftly, growled deep in his throat and made a dive for Posy. ‘How did she get there? I left her safely occupied at the table.’
‘Three-year-olds don’t always stay where you put them.’ It was impossible not to laugh. ‘How are your decorating skills?’
‘About the same as my childminding skills.’ Daniel prised the paintbrush out of Posy’s chubby hand. ‘On the paper, Posy, not on the wall. The paper. ‘
Posy’s lip wobbled and Daniel scooped her up in his arms. ‘Don’t cry. No one cries on my shift. Understand?’
In response to that rough command, Posy plopped her head on his shoulder, her blonde curls a stark contrast to Daniel’s dark masculinity. As the child curled her arm round his neck, Stella saw his mouth tighten and a muscle work in his lean, hard jaw. But his hand came up to steady her and he rubbed the child’s back awkwardly.
‘I don’t deserve that cuddle,’ he said gruffly, and Stella suddenly found it impossible to swallow. Emotion stung her eyes and pricked at her throat and she found herself thinking things she didn’t want to be thinking.

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