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Sizzling Nights With Dr Off-Limits
Janice Lynn


A date with her past!When nurse Emily Stewart puts herself up for a hospital charity auction, she never expects the winning bidder to be Lucas Cain—her new boss…and ex-husband!Since their marriage crumbled, Emily hasn’t wanted to experience such tempestuous passion again. She’s still hiding a heart-breaking secret from Lucas… Yet he’s changed during their years apart, and soon a red-hot fling is impossible to resist! Dare she finally open up to Lucas, and give their love a second chance?







A date with her past!

When nurse Emily Stewart puts herself up for a hospital charity auction, she never expects the winning bidder to be Lucas Cain—her new boss...and ex-husband!

Since their marriage crumbled, Emily hasn’t wanted to experience such tempestuous passion again. And she’s still hiding a heartbreaking secret from Lucas... Yet he’s changed during their years apart, and soon a red-hot fling is impossible to resist! Dare she finally open up to Lucas and give their love a second chance?


“I don’t want to go, Emily, but if that’s what you want, I will.”

She looked up, met his cloudy gaze, and opened her mouth to answer him—to tell him that, yes, she wanted him to go away, never to bother her again, to leave Children’s and never to purposely cross her path again. She did want all those things.

But none of that came out, and whatever she’d been going to say was lost to the pressure of Lucas’s mouth covering hers in a kiss.


Dear Reader (#ulink_f585f938-9b64-588c-82dd-8f5f6059d114),

Sometimes a story idea hits and just takes off. Emily and Lucas’s story was that way. Occasionally couples who are meant to be together let life pull them apart and blind them to their true feelings. That’s what has happened with Emily and Lucas.

Lucas is hesitant to take his dream job because his ex-wife works at the hospital—but how can he turn down an offer to make real advances in brain injury research when that’s his life’s passion? Emily was his best friend once upon a time. Surely they can make peace and have an amicable work relationship? Only once he spends time with Emily he wants much more than just a work relationship with his ex. He wants her.

When her ex buys a date with her at a charity bachelorette auction Emily is reminded of all the things that made her fall in love with Lucas to begin with. Only this time around she isn’t young, naïve, and blinded by visions of happily-ever-after. This time she won’t let him anywhere near her heart. Only what if he’s had it all along...?

I had so much fun on Emily and Lucas’s journey to healing and happy-ever-after. I hope you enjoy their story as much as I did. I’d love to hear what you thought of their romance at Janice@janicelynn.net (http://Janice@janicelynn.net).

Happy reading,

Janice Lynn


Sizzling Nights with Dr. Off-Limits

Janice Lynn






www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)


JANICE LYNN as a Masters in Nursing from Vanderbilt University, and works as a nurse practitioner in a family practice. She lives in the southern United States with her husband, their four children, their Jack Russell—appropriately named Trouble—and a lot of unnamed dust bunnies that have moved in since she started her writing career. To find out more about Janice and her writing visit janicelynn.com (http://janicelynn.com).


To Reesee. Love you to the moon and back!

Love, SMOM.


Praise for Janice Lynn

‘Fun, witty and sexy... A heartfelt, sensual and compelling read.’

—Goodreads on NYC Angels: Heiress’s Baby Scandal

‘A sweet and beautiful romance that will steal your heart.’

—Harlequin Junkie on NYC Angels: Heiress’s Baby Scandal


Contents

Cover (#u13feacf6-1a21-5a11-98b9-c5b160f8997e)

Back Cover Text (#u6e3a5d7f-e665-5d79-95e6-b25bc785052b)

Introduction (#ufa9ce54c-faeb-509f-a999-9f7715a4e522)

Dear Reader (#ulink_2565ec5a-8cb6-5e16-bc79-3b390d318a02)

Title Page (#u233593ba-4e25-592c-8df2-063f8eeed480)

About the Author (#u8fa3baa2-d99a-5e85-9e5c-d4fd9c69c719)

Dedication (#ud43e006f-da32-5bab-8f0e-529519d76865)

Praise (#u2f59a053-4a68-57a7-9460-d4a6c93ef69a)

CHAPTER ONE (#ulink_1878b455-cef2-5e89-ad49-64f47c0fdb52)

CHAPTER TWO (#ulink_686c46c8-7172-52dd-88d6-99db25c32f9d)

CHAPTER THREE (#ulink_59be8cd2-c8ec-54a2-b0b6-7835c8618829)

CHAPTER FOUR (#ulink_02aa0374-6acc-5389-9403-f9d1230d6654)

CHAPTER FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER ELEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER TWELVE (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER THIRTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER FOURTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER FIFTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)

Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)


CHAPTER ONE (#ulink_9a98bdb6-5fcd-57ee-ade9-9c35b305aa66)

NO. NO. NO. Her ex-husband hadn’t just made an outlandish bid for Emily Stewart’s Manhattan Memorial Children’s Hospital Traumatic Brain Injury fund-raiser bachelorette date.

Lucas couldn’t. Wouldn’t.

Oohs and aahs were sounding around the hotel ballroom as the auctioneer expressed his excitement over the enormous leap in the bid. Emily just wanted to cry, Noooooooo.

She’d never dreamed of putting in a clause that said if her ex-husband lost his mind, bid and probably just won, her donated “date” was null and void. Then again, when she’d first volunteered with the fund-raiser, she’d not seen Lucas in five years. She couldn’t possibly have expected him to show up at the auction, much less bid outrageously for her bachelorette number.

What she’d expected was her boyfriend to buy the date.

The reality was she’d been worried Richard would be her only bidder.

If only he had.

Why had she let Meghan convince her to do the auction? Standing on a stage letting men bid on a date with her was not her thing. Still, it had been for a great cause she believed in and she hadn’t had the heart to say no despite fear of humiliation and embarrassment.

But if she’d known Lucas would show up and bid on her, no way would she have agreed to participate.

Ugh.

If she had one of those auction number thingies, she’d bid on herself. Could a girl do that?

White-knuckled, she forced a smile to stay on her face, but her cheeks were starting to hurt. Then again, that could be from her gritted teeth rather than her fake smile.

She dug her fingers into her palms and pretended everything was just fine, as if the man who’d once ripped her heart to shreds hadn’t just bid a ridiculous sum to go to dinner with her.

He hadn’t eaten with her when it hadn’t cost him a thing except his time. Why would he want to now? After all these years? For that matter, why had he even taken the job at Children’s? Manhattan was big enough for the both of them. Barely. Their paths should never, or at least rarely, cross. They’d been apart five years and, although she occasionally heard his name or saw a photo of him come across one of their few mutual acquaintances’ social media page, she’d not seen him in person since the day their divorce had been finalized.

Until this past month.

Now she saw him every time she worked.

The auctioneer resumed his rapid-fire words, calling for another bid. Emily’s gaze went to Richard, silently pleading with him to outbid Lucas. He might not have Lucas’s millions, but the bid was far from being outside his reach. Why wasn’t he stepping up, letting Lucas know she was his?

One of the auction volunteers walked over to stand near Richard, encouraging him to up the ante. But rather than do so, he shrugged and said something she could only make out bits and pieces of from where she stood on stage. What she caught was that the auction was “all for fun” and “for a good cause.”

Cheeks on fire, forced smile glued in place, heart pounding out of her chest, Emily wanted to disappear. Richard made a good living. He could afford to bid higher. As her boyfriend, he should be bidding higher.

“Anyone else, folks? Come on, just look at her. Imagine a night out on the town with this gorgeous woman on your arm.” The auctioneer turned his attention back to the rest of the crowd, trying to entice a new bidder into the ring. As if anyone else was going to cough up that much money to oust Lucas’s high bid when her own boyfriend wouldn’t. Ugh. This was humiliating.

“Going once,” the auctioneer warned. “Going twice.”

Her cheeks were so hot maybe she’d just spontaneously combust. Then sharing a meal with Lucas wouldn’t even be an issue.

“Sold to the lucky gentleman holding number 146,” the auctioneer crooned.

Great. Lucas had just won her date.

Emily walked across the stage to where the other auctioned-off women waited while the next bachelorette took center stage. In just a few minutes Emily would have to have a photo taken with her ex-husband. She’d have to stand next to him, smile at the camera and pretend she wasn’t dying on the inside.

Thanks to his winning bid she had to sit through a meal with him across the table.

How dared he do this to her? Hadn’t he caused enough havoc already to last a lifetime?

No.

Just no.

She was not having a meal with her ex-husband. Just the thought made her want to barf.

She’d play nice for the picture, but she would make a matching donation to the charity and wiggle out of the date. Although, Lucas had certainly been generous enough that doing so would make a painful dent in her savings. Still, the charity and avoiding time with her ex-husband were worthy causes.

Why? she wanted to scream at him from across the crowded luxury hotel ballroom. The hundreds of attendees might as well have not existed. All she saw was Lucas, smiling so nonchalantly, as if he hadn’t just done something so absolutely wrong. Dressed in his tux, he was so handsome she wanted to shake her fist and yell it wasn’t fair that he looked even better than he had when he’d been hers.

Their divorce hadn’t left him any worse for wear. She’d been the devastated one who’d had to pick up the shattered bits of her heart and pretend her whole world hadn’t fallen apart.

Her whole world had fallen apart.

But she’d survived, was stronger for the life lessons learned from her marriage to Dr. Lucas Cain.

Why had he drawn attention to himself, to her, by bidding such an out-of-the-ballpark amount for her date?

Why, when she’d finally put the pieces of her life back together, did he show up to throw rocks at her glass house?

She had made a good life at Children’s, was dating and liked said boyfriend who’d not won her bid. Richard Givens, a pharmacist who worked near the hospital, was everything Lucas hadn’t been.

She glanced Richard’s way, saw him laughing at something someone at their table had said. Exasperation filled her. He’d just lost a date with his girlfriend to another man and he was laughing? Ugh. He wasn’t worried. Why should he be? He didn’t know Lucas was her ex-husband.

No one at Children’s did.

Not wanting any reminder, she’d changed back to her maiden name and they’d never heard Lucas’s name on her lips. Not until three weeks ago when he’d started in a medical director position at Children’s pediatric neurology department. The department she worked in and loved. Maybe she could ask for a transfer.

Not having to see him would be worth giving up her beloved nursing position at Children’s. Almost.

Anger flared.

How dared he show up where she worked and make her consider transferring positions when she’d already left one job to escape reminders of the biggest mistake she’d ever made? She’d left the hospital where they’d met during the end of his neurosurgery fellowship.

She should have known better than to marry Lucas.

She had known better.

Her parents had warned her. Her friends had warned her. His parents had warned her. His friends had warned her. No one had thought they should marry. She was too young, Lucas wasn’t ready to settle down, they were too different and from too-different lifestyles. She’d been an ordinary middle-class girl from Brooklyn. Lucas had been born with a silver spoon in his mouth and had never had to stress over anything.

But she’d paid no heed. She’d been in love and thought she’d found her happily-ever-after at twenty-one.

She’d just graduated from her nursing program and had been at the hospital for only a few weeks when the most handsome man she’d ever seen had stolen her breath with his quick smile, mischievous eyes and quick wit. They’d had a whirlwind romance, then married and settled into her little apartment close to the hospital, because she’d refused to move into his parents’ Park Avenue penthouse as he’d apparently thought they would. No, she had not wanted to start out her marriage living with her in-laws, whom she’d met only a couple of times. She’d planned to prove all the naysayers wrong over the next fifty-plus years.

She’d been the one proved wrong.

Wrong when Lucas had become less and less enamored with their marriage no matter what she’d done to try to keep things smooth. She’d not expected a lot of his attention. He’d been in the midst of his fellowship, after all. But she had expected him to occasionally make time for his young wife, who’d loved him so much. Near the end, she’d barely seen him, had wondered if he’d even noticed she’d moved out of the apartment as he’d asked her to.

He must have. He’d immediately filed for divorce. For irreconcilable differences and abandonment.

Who’d abandoned whom?

She’d given him her heart, had put all she’d had into making her marriage a success, and he’d discarded her like yesterday’s trash.

She’d sunk into a deeper and deeper depression, but nothing had ever hurt the way the demise of her marriage had, the way he had pierced her heart and bled it dry. Now that she’d carefully nurtured herself back into some semblance of a living, breathing person, had he come back to take shots at her a second time?

She wouldn’t let him.

Her insides seethed with bitterness.

He couldn’t steal her happiness or her peace of mind.

Only, from the moment she’d found out who had accepted the department position, her peace of mind had become a war zone. But it was a battle she would fight and win. She wouldn’t give him so much power over her. Not ever again.

She’d planned to avoid him, to not interact any more than absolutely necessary to effectively perform her job duties.

Apparently, Lucas had other ideas. Like a date he’d very publicly paid too much money to beat Richard to secure.

While the current bid came to a close, Emily glared at her ex-husband, wondering if you could hate someone you used to love more than life itself.

He was no doubt considered quite the catch. She knew better. She knew his flaws, knew that behind that handsome exterior beat the heart of a man incapable of loving another human being, of a man incapable of being there when his wife had needed him.

A man who hadn’t been there on the worst night of her life.

Had he been at the hospital working, at his parents’ or out partying with his buddies when her world had crumbled? Either way, he hadn’t been at her side in that emergency room.

“Lucky you, girl!” Emily’s best friend, Meghan, whispered. “I can’t believe Dr. Cain just bought your basket. And for that price? You must be giving off some major pheromones or something because for a few minutes I thought he and Richard were going to come to blows.”

Emily had never thought that. Lucas had never fought for her. He’d never fought for anything in his whole life. He wanted something and it just fell perfectly into place in his perfect life. She was probably the only mar on his stellar record.

And Richard, well, he was a nonconfrontational beta kind of guy, so she hadn’t been too surprised when he’d let Lucas win the bid. Disappointed, but not really shocked. He would find paying such an exorbitant amount for something he did several times a week for free as a total waste.

Emily would have been highly impressed had Richard stepped up and rescued her from Lucas’s bidding clutches. A knight in shining armor to her damsel in distress. Too bad. She’d have enjoyed Richard putting Lucas in his place.

To be fair, Lucas had raised the bid a stupid amount and Richard didn’t have a deep trust fund to line his pockets, but the bid hadn’t been out of his financial reach. Not by a long shot. Still, he worked hard for his money, was someone whom Emily could relate to. Richard was the same as her, an ordinary person living an ordinary life. She liked it that way.

“You can have him,” she muttered under her breath to her fellow pediatric neuro nurse.

“Are you blind?” Meghan’s expression was incredulous as they exited the stage to make room for the bachelors to be auctioned off. “He’s the hottest thing to hit Manhattan since the term Big Apple was first coined.”

Stepping a few feet away from the stage, Emily wrinkled her nose. Looks could be so deceiving. “He’s not my type.”

“Girl, he is every red-blooded female’s type.” Meghan waggled her perfectly drawn brows. “Tall, dark and handsome.”

“To each her own, because he isn’t mine. I prefer Richard.”

This time it was Meghan’s nose that wrinkled. “Richard is boring.”

Emily frowned. “Richard is loyal, handsome, intelligent, kind—”

“You deserve so much better than the likes of Richard,” her best friend assured her. Meghan had never understood her attraction to Richard, always claiming that she felt he stifled Emily.

“Not to me, he isn’t.” She’d had excitement and the fast lane while married to Lucas. She didn’t need parties and a revolving-door social life. She liked going home to her apartment after her shift ended, cooking a light dinner for two, discussing their day and occasionally going for a walk or perhaps to a show.

Richard was calm, predictable, stable. Totally to her taste in men.

Totally and completely the opposite of Lucas.

“You can’t tell me Richard is even in the same league as Lucas Cain.”

“You’re right, he’s not. Richard is way above it.”

Meghan gave her an odd look. “You been drinking?”

Emily laughed. “Because I find the man I’m dating more attractive than some new doctor at the hospital, you think I’m inebriated? Richard is my boyfriend. Why wouldn’t I find him more attractive than Dr. Cain?”

“Do you?” a familiar male voice asked from behind her.

Every cell in Emily’s body did a nervous jump to attention, making her legs weak, making her hands tremble, making her heart race. Not wanting to look at him, not wanting to have a conversation with him, she turned to face her ex-husband.

Up close he looked even better than he had from across the room. Why, oh, why couldn’t time have taken its toll and marred the physical beauty of his face?

He told you to leave. He filed for divorce. He’s a cold, heartless jerk who means nothing to you.

Even so, her hands shook and her stomach threatened to hurl the appetizers she’d consumed earlier. “Do I what?”

“Find the man who bid against me more attractive?” His blue eyes twinkled with the same old arrogant mischief. He knew that he was handsome as sin, that women fell to their knees when he so much as bestowed a smile upon them. He couldn’t fathom her finding any man more attractive. The jerk.

“Of course I find Richard more attractive, Dr. Cain.” She put great emphasis on her formal use of his name. “He and I have been dating for almost ten months.”

“Ten months?” He raised a brow as if impressed as his gaze took in everything about her. “Some marriages don’t last that long.”

Her breath lodged in her throat and she dug her fingernails harder into her palms. Mentally, she called him every rotten name she could think of.

“You’re right,” she agreed. “Too many people get married who shouldn’t. Probably because they’re too young to know any better or one of them wasn’t committed to the relationship to begin with. My guess is that when those people become involved in their next serious relationship, they are a lot choosier.”

The arrogant look in his eyes flickered just a little, as if she’d delivered a damaging blow and won that round. Good. He needed taking down a peg or two.

“I bet you’re right.” He turned to Meghan and gave her a smile so charming that it was a wonder she didn’t swoon. “Hi, I’m Dr. Lucas Cain. I work at Children’s with Emily.”

Ugh. He sounded so nice, so polite, and Meghan was tripping over herself trying to form coherent sentences. He’d always had that effect on women. Even her.

But that had been in the past. These days her sentences were freaking pieces of grammatical art. She’d been inoculated against his sexual mojo.

Well, mostly. He was a sexy beast and her body wasn’t dead. Good thing her mind knew better and ruled.

“Me, too,” Meghan practically stuttered. “At Children’s. I mean, I work at Children’s, too.”

Lucas’s brow lifted. “On the neuro floor with Emily?”

Hearing her name on his lips caused tightness to squeeze Emily’s chest. Darn him that he was here creating chaos in her world, not to mention making a blabbering idiot of her best friend.

Meghan nodded, still stammering and stuttering. “I’ve taken care of a few of your patients.”

He flashed one of his most potent smiles and Emily had to forgive her friend. When he was more handsome than anything Hollywood had ever put on the silver screen, how was Meghan supposed to resist? Her friend didn’t know he had a heart of ice and a soul as black as coal.

“Ah,” he said. “That’s why you look familiar.”

Emily wasn’t buying that he hadn’t known who Meghan was. No doubt he knew everything about her best friend.

Meghan’s lashes swooped downward. “I guess you heard what I was saying about how you looked.”

Her best friend was flirting with her ex. Not that Meghan knew, but still. Gag. Gag. Gag.

Just take Emily out and push her in front of a taxi driver right now. She couldn’t take any more.

“If you’ll excuse me, I need to go find a ladies’ room.” She went to move past Lucas, but the photographer chose that moment to appear.

“Hello,” the overly friendly guy said, smiling and motioning for Lucas and Emily to pose. “Get together for a photo for our website.”

Emily clenched her teeth and moved one step closer to Lucas.

The photographer frowned. “Smile. Look happy. You just brought in more money than any of the others.”

There was that. Raising money for a good cause did make her happy. She sighed and focused on the help that would be provided to her patients’ families because of Lucas’s generosity.

Surprisingly, he looked a little hesitant. Lucas off guard. Now, that was something new. Still, he put his arm at her waist and smiled for the camera.

Trying to ignore the fact that he was touching her, Emily curved her lips upward.

The photographer’s flash went off a couple of times.

“Thanks.” The photographer turned to Meghan and her winner, who’d joined them. “Your turn, Pretty Lady.”

Meghan curled up next to the stockbroker she’d gone on a couple of dates with.

Which moved everyone’s attention off Emily and Lucas.

Her throat suddenly tight, she glared at him. “Congratulations. You’re such a winner.”


CHAPTER TWO (#ulink_9754999b-fd35-5361-820e-b014a26ef1ff)

THAT HADN’T GONE anywhere near the way Lucas had mentally rehearsed his first encounter with Emily outside the hospital.

Then again, what had he expected? He should thank his lucky stars that she hadn’t made a scene.

The look she’d given him said she’d like to have smacked him. Or worse.

“I think you two got off on the wrong foot.” Meghan rejoined him after the photographer had snapped a few shots of her and her date winner. The brunette frowned after Emily. “I don’t understand how that’s even possible. Emily gets along with everyone. She’s the sweetest, kindest person I know.”

They hadn’t gotten off on the wrong foot, but they’d ended that way.

He closed his eyes and inhaled a deep breath, catching the faintest whiff of Emily’s perfume still on the air. She’d always worn the light vanilla scent. He could never smell anything even close to the fragrance without being haunted by memories of the past.

Lately, most everything had his mind filling with Emily.

Ever since he’d been offered the position at Children’s, he’d been confronted with memory after memory. Probably because he’d known taking the job meant coming face-to-face with his biggest regret.

To head the department, oversee research in traumatic brain injury, play an active role in the decisions being made that would impact how things were done on the pediatric neurology unit—Children’s had offered him all that and more. The position was his dream come true.

He’d still hesitated.

Because of the woman walking away from him.

Just as she’d walked away five years ago.

Not that he hadn’t deserved her leaving. He had. He just hadn’t thought she’d walk away from their marriage, no matter how bad things got.

He’d been wrong.

But Emily had been right to leave. She’d been so unhappy, crying more often than not. Marriage to him had rapidly done that to her. He’d thought she was depressed, needing counseling, but when he’d suggested as much, she’d burst into tears. That night had been the night she’d packed her things.

His wife leaving him had hurt like hell, but he had gotten over it, had moved on and made a good life for himself.

But seeing Emily again had been tough. More so than he’d been prepared for. He wasn’t sure quite what he’d expected of her, but the cold shoulder he got every time he walked onto the unit just had to go.

No, he didn’t expect her to do cartwheels that he’d joined the hospital where she worked, but he was a good pediatric neurosurgeon and was now medical director of her unit. What had happened between them was a long time ago, water under the bridge, they’d both moved on. He was happy. She was happy. There was no need for awkwardness between them.

That was why he’d bid on her date.

Mostly.

As Emily’s bid had proceeded, he’d grown more and more annoyed with the man she’d arrived with.

The man she’d been comparing him unfavorably to.

The man who’d acted as if bidding on Emily was an inconvenience.

Emily was too good for the guy.

He supposed it could be argued that she’d been too good for Lucas, too. She probably had been.

Besides, the guy must make her happy, since she’d defended him to her friend. Something Lucas had failed miserably at.

Regardless, the man’s reticence to bid had irked. As he’d watched her on stage, the insecurities that only someone who knew her as well as he had would recognize flittering across her lovely face had brought out something protective.

So much so that he’d placed a bid. Then another, then, when her foolish date had hem-hawed on his last bid, Lucas had more than doubled the amount.

Probably not his brightest move.

But the guy needed to be hit over the head with the news that a date with Emily was worth every penny.

The realization hit Lucas hard.

He watched her retreating backside head out of the ballroom, appreciated the curvy lines of her body beneath the sleek lines of her formfitting emerald dress. Once upon a time, he’d slept with her backside snuggled into the curve of his body, spooned so close every breath he’d taken had been filled with her. Now he didn’t have the right to even stroke his finger over the silky smooth skin of her cheek.

Lucas swallowed. Where had that thought come from?

He hadn’t bid on Emily because he wanted a date with her. He didn’t. He only wanted a chance to clear the air between them.

Maybe he’d been led to Children’s so he could set the past right, could mend his relationship with Emily to where they could be friends, or at least amicable coworkers.

* * *

When Emily joined Richard at their table, his expression was sour and she cringed on the inside.

“Who was that man?”

She supposed she should have been prepared for his question, but it still caught her off guard. She’d run back to Richard to escape Lucas, not talk about him.

She bent, kissed her date’s cheek. “No one, dear.”

She wasn’t lying. Lucas was no one. No one of any importance. Not anymore. Not ever again.

“He’s interested in you.” Richard didn’t sound pleased. No wonder. Lucas had just upstaged him and their colleagues would be curious.

She sat in her chair and scooted closer to him. “He’s new at the hospital and just drawing attention to himself.”

Richard didn’t look convinced. What he looked was annoyed. “By paying that crazy amount for you? Why would he do that?”

The money meant nothing to Lucas. He had paid too much. But did Richard really have to sound as if he found the idea that a date with her could possibly be worth so much as unfathomable? Shouldn’t he find time with her priceless?

“It was for charity,” she reminded him, irritated by his insensitivity to how she might take his question. “You said so yourself.”

His expression pinched, Richard straightened the napkin in his lap. “I saw him talking to you a few minutes ago. Should I be worried?”

She laughed. “No. His type appalls me. Besides, all the bachelorettes took photos with the winning bidders. What did you want me to do? Refuse?”

Not that she wouldn’t have liked to have done just that.

Richard’s eyes narrowed beneath his wire-framed glasses. “You labeled his type in those few short minutes?”

“I’ve encountered him before.” Ha. Wasn’t that the understatement of the century? “He’s a pediatric neurosurgeon in the department where I work. Actually, he’s the new head of the department. He started about a month ago.”

Twenty-two days.

Not that she was counting.

Emily shot a nervous glance toward where Lucas still stood with Meghan. They were both looking her way. Seeing her looking at them, Lucas lifted his glass in salute.

The jerk.

Emily rolled her eyes, grabbed Richard’s hand and moved her chair to where her back was completely to Lucas. She didn’t want him anywhere near her line of vision. She just wanted to forget he was even there.

Which later proved impossible even after Richard had quit talking about Lucas. He’d finally relaxed, quit suggesting she’d encouraged Lucas, and they were enjoying a slow dance. The emcee’s boisterous voice cut in.

“Folks, it’s time for our bachelors and bachelorettes to share a dance with their lucky high bidders.” Applause went through the ballroom, but Emily didn’t clap. Instead, she clung to Richard.

“Did you know they were going to do that?” He sounded aggravated, as if she’d somehow arranged the dance.

“No.” She shook her head, wondering if she could make a mad dash toward the open double doors leading into the hallway. She could hide, freshen up in the ladies’ room. “Maybe he won’t come over here.”

No such luck. Not that she had much hope of Lucas staying away. His new life mission was to irritate her as much as possible.

“Hello, Emily. I’m here to claim my dance.” His gaze shifted to Richard’s. “If that’s okay with your date?”

She cringed. She did not want to dance with Lucas. Nor did she want to further upset Richard.

Hello. He’d been the one to let Lucas have the high bid. Couldn’t he have spared more cash to have ensured she didn’t spend time with any other man? Then again, Lucas might have just kept bidding higher and higher. Money meant nothing to him, except during the time when they’d been married and he’d been forced to live within their means rather than his parents’.

Maybe she was being overly sensitive of Richard. Maybe. Being around Lucas had her on edge, making her more critical than she should be.

She liked Richard. He was calm, soothing. He never rocked the boat, never made her question herself. Usually. Why was she letting Lucas disrupt her nice, content life? Letting him make her question a man she sincerely liked and had previously never fought with?

Her annoyance with her date was Lucas’s fault, not Richard’s. She needed to remember that.

Her gaze met Richard’s. Just say no, she mentally pleaded. Tell him to get lost. That I belong to you. That you refuse to share me. That I’m the love of your life and you’ll never let another man take me into his arms.

Richard didn’t do any of those things. He just gave an exasperated sigh, stepped back and practically handed her to Lucas on a silver platter.

“Go ahead. All the others are,” he said by way of justification.

So much for Richard going all macho and staking his claim. Not that she was the type to want the drama, but he could have at least issued some type of “she’s mine, hands off” warning.

“He’s a real winner, Em,” Lucas teased as they stepped out onto the dance floor. “I see why you find him so attractive.”

“Be quiet,” she ordered, placing her arms around his neck. The feel of his body next to hers, the smell of him, the utter maleness of Lucas Cain, the memories of the past that hit her full force, almost had her forgetting about not making a scene and dashing out of the ballroom.

But she couldn’t run away from him forever. She might as well find out what it was he wanted from her so he’d leave her alone. She didn’t fool herself that he didn’t want something.

Once upon a time, she had been what he wanted. That time hadn’t lasted, had been more a tiny vapor that disappeared almost as quickly as it had appeared.

What was it these days that filled his dreams? That he wanted enough to come seek her out after all this time?

Had she accidentally taken a favorite shirt five years ago or something that he’d decided he just had to have back?

Too bad, so sad. Any clothes of his she’d accidentally taken had been donated to a local homeless shelter long ago.

Except for one shirt.

Memories assailed her.

Memories of going through a duffel bag she hadn’t used in a long time and finding a T-shirt he’d bought at a concert they’d attended at Madison Square Garden. They’d been happy, dating, in love, laughing continuously, totally enamored with each other, believing nothing could ever come between them.

How wrong they’d been.

She’d shredded the T-shirt into pieces, hoping she’d feel better after doing so, but had only felt just as tattered as the bits of material.

“I’d have never let another man win your bid back when we were dating.”

“No, probably not,” she agreed, still fighting the urge to flee his arms. “But you’d have gift wrapped and hand delivered me after we were married.”

Touching him was torture. Like being burned alive. Like having a vise on her heart and it squeezing until every last drop bled forth.

“That’s not true.” His body stiff, his feet stopped moving for a few beats before resuming their dance. He looked torn, but then, rather than argue his point, he just sighed. “Let’s not talk about the past anymore, Emily. Not right now. Let’s just enjoy the song.”

His capitulation surprised Emily. Before, he’d never have given in just to keep the peace. That had been her job. But he was right. They shouldn’t talk about the past. The past was just that. The past. Done and gone forever. Best thing they could do was forget the past. It was what she’d been striving toward for five years.

She couldn’t have said what song was playing prior to his calling her attention to it. A slow tune about second chances and new love. Ha. Emily never planned to fall in love again. Sure, she wanted someone to love her and to love, but she never planned to experience the craziness she’d had with Lucas.

That had been overwhelming, intense, too much for a heart to take when things fell apart.

She wasn’t so naive as to think relationships lasted forever. Not anymore. Just look at most of the people she knew. Separated. Divorced. Achingly single.

Give her good old dependable Richard.

Sure, he didn’t light any fires or even smell half as good as Lucas, but he wasn’t a stick of dynamite burning at both ends, either.

“You smell nice, Emily.”

Not something she expected to hear Lucas say. She misstepped and probably scuffed the black Italian leather dress shoes he wore. She didn’t care. If she stomped his toes a dozen times, he deserved each and every smash.

“I don’t know what you expect me to say.” She didn’t look up at him, just kept her eyes focused above his shoulders.

Her gaze collided with Richard’s unhappy one.

Great. Trouble in paradise. Well, not paradise, but...trouble in Just Okay Land?

She inhaled sharply, then frowned at how her senses were overcome by Lucas. How could she have forgotten how good he smelled? Not that he wore cologne. At least, he hadn’t in the past. Did he now? Maybe the light spicy scent was his aftershave? Or maybe his bodywash? Or maybe some expensive and pheromone-filled fragrance that guaranteed to drive women wild?

Not that he was driving her wild. He wasn’t. Crazy did not equate to wild. Just...well, he smelled nice, too. And felt strong and solid next to her. Yes, her heart was beating wildly, but that really was just crazy.

“Honestly, I don’t expect you to say anything. Nor did I mean to say it. The words just slipped out, but they are true. You do smell good. You always did.” His breath brushed against her temple with soft, moist heat that prickled her skin with goose bumps. Why was he holding her so close? Why was she letting him?

She took a step back to put distance between their bodies. She hated that she reacted to him in any way.

If only every nerve cell in her body had quickly bored with Lucas.

“I didn’t ask you for the walk down memory lane.” The last thing she wanted was more memories. “You’re the one who has instigated all this. You have no one to blame but yourself.”

“That’s true.” His palm rested at the curve low on her back and pulled her close to him as they moved gently to the music. “I am the one who instigated our dance.”

Emily’s eyes narrowed. Had he bribed the emcee to announce the date-winner dance? Looking at him, she knew he had requested the dance.

“Why?” Did she even want to know? Probably not, but at least if she knew what he was up to, she could prepare a defense. She needed a defense.

“I could beat around the bush, but that’s never been my style.”

No, he’d always been blunt about whatever was on his mind. Like when he’d told her to move out of their apartment, for instance.

“This job at Children’s is important to me.”

His job. Of course this was about his job.

“I want everything to go as smoothly as possible, for nothing to stand in the way of my accomplishing the greatest good for our patients.”

“You think I’d stand in the way of our patients getting good care because of you? How dare you imply that I’d ever not put my patients’ needs before our petty past.” She quit dancing. Probably because her feet felt heavy as concrete blocks. Her jaw dropped somewhere near the basement floor of the high-rise building. She stared up at him, wishing she could erase the past month, erase his having reentered her life. She’d been fine without him. She’d been good, healthy, content in her Just Okay Land relationship.

Lucas’s gaze didn’t waver from hers. “I don’t think you’d intentionally do anything that would put our patients at risk.”

“You think I might do something unintentionally?” she asked incredulously.

“No. What I think is that how you feel about me influences how you respond in front of our patients and coworkers. That could be problematic. That’s why I bought your date, so we could talk and forge some type of friendship between us.”

“You’re crazy.” He was crazy. Crazy to be at Children’s. Crazy to be at the fund-raiser. Crazy to have bid on her auction. Crazy to be on the dance floor with her in his arms. Divorced people didn’t do this. She was sure of it. “You and I will never be friends.”

“We at least need to forge some type of coexistence. There’s too much tension and you run every time I come near.”

“Perhaps you failed to get the memo, but I don’t like you. Of course I leave when you’re near.”

“You think others haven’t picked up on the tension between us?”

Why would anyone have paid attention to how she reacted to the new doctor? Before tonight. Now, after he’d bid such a stupid high amount, she suspected lots of people would be watching them to see if any sparks developed on their “date.”

“I don’t want you here,” she snapped, wondering if anyone would notice if she stomped her high heel into his toes. His absurdity deserved a little pain. A lot of pain.

“I understand that,” he clarified. “Knowing you were at Children’s was my only hesitation. A mistake from five years ago shouldn’t stand in the way of my dream job. I want to make peace with you.”

She laughed. A louder than it should have been, close to hysteria laugh. “Let me get this straight. You bought my date because you want to make peace with me because of your dream job?”

His jaw worked back and forth. “Something like that.”

Her hands went to her hips. “What if I already had my dream job and you pursuing your dream job is ruining mine? Why should I have to give up my dream job so you can pursue yours?”

“It’s not as if I expect you to give up your job, Emily. Listen to what I am saying. I want us to coexist, maybe become friends.” As if to prove his point, he pulled her back to him and began to sway to the music. She let him for the sole reason that standing in the middle of the dance floor with her hands on her hips squaring up to the man who’d just bought her date was just asking for people to stare. Anyone paying the slightest attention to her and Lucas was the last thing she wanted. Already, Richard couldn’t take his eyes off them.

Obviously, Lucas didn’t see a thing wrong with what he was saying. Or doing. That he was turning her world topsy-turvy. He thought it was okay to slow dance with his ex-wife and suggest they become friends. The nerve.

She closed her eyes, prayed she’d wake up and find the past month had just been a bad dream. “I cannot believe this.”

“Why is it unbelievable that I want us to be friends?”

“We can never be friends,” she hissed.

“Why not?”

“We were never friends to begin with.”

“We were.”

She shook her head. “You were never my friend.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, because once upon a time you were my best friend.”

His words gutted her and every cell in her body weighed down with lead, making movement almost impossible.

“Why couldn’t you have just stayed in the past?”

“Because Children’s offered me the position of medical director of the traumatic brain injury unit.”

“I was here first.” Even to her own ears her words sounded whiny and childish.

“I’m sorry that my being at Children’s is problematic for you.”

Two apologies in less than a minute. Wow.

“I’m not trying to force something on you, Emily. I just want the opportunity to make peace to where there isn’t tension on the unit.”

“I’m professional enough that I can hide my tension.”

He sighed. “Then do it for me, please, because apparently I’m not.”

“I owe you nothing,” she stated.

“Then do it for our patients. I’m good at what I do. This position gives me the opportunity to do more. Let me.”

As if she could stop him.

No hospital would give up a talented pediatric neurosurgeon just because a nurse, no matter how good she was, used to be married to him.

“Please.”

Her gaze lifted to his and his sincerity surprised her. He didn’t need her approval. They both knew it. So why did it matter? Why was he saying please? She didn’t want to think he’d changed. She needed to keep him categorized in the “bad guy” box.

“None of this matters. What I think, what I want, doesn’t matter,” she reminded him. “You want this position, it’s already yours. Just because I was here, loving my job and my life without you in it, doesn’t matter to you. Nothing does except you getting what you want.”

“This isn’t just about me getting what I want. It’s about doing the right thing, about what’s best for all involved.”

“Me coexisting with you is what’s best for all involved?”

“You know it is.”

She knew no such thing. Just being in his arms was driving her crazy, the feel of him, the smell of him, the sound of his voice. Okay, so her mind and body had gone a little mushy, but that was nostalgia, right? He’d been her first lover, her husband, her fantasy. Once upon a time, he’d been the center of her world and she’d have done anything to make him happy.

Her body had had a momentary lapse in memory, had responded to his spicy male scent, the feel of him against her, and, yes, she’d melted a little. A lot. But that was just old chemistry rising to the surface.

All she felt for him now was loathing.

Liar.

She squeezed her eyes shut and took another deep breath before meeting his gaze again with steely resolve. “This is ridiculous. You are ridiculous.”

“Your heart is racing against mine, Emily.”

He was right. Her heart was racing and was next to his, but what that had to do with anything, she wasn’t sure. When had they moved so close that her body fully pressed against his as they swayed to the sultry beat? But she wasn’t alone in being affected by the other one’s presence. His heart was racing, too.

“Hearts race for a lot of reasons. Fear being one of them.” Was that why his raced? She couldn’t imagine Lucas ever being afraid of anything.

“Fear?” He looked taken aback. “I never gave you a reason to be afraid of me. Never.”

He meant he’d never hit her or physically abused her in any way. He hadn’t. The ways Lucas had hurt hadn’t left visible scars, just jagged ones on the inside.

“Not any reason that could be physically seen.” Emotionally, he’d beaten her to a pulp. She needed to remember that, to focus on how getting involved with him had devastated her whole world. She couldn’t coexist with him. Not without severe consequences.

“You weren’t the only one hurt by our marriage falling apart.”

His words stung. He’d been hurt, too? Somehow she couldn’t bring herself to believe him. He’d lost interest in her, in their marriage, long before the night he’d told her to leave.

How could he have hurt by losing something he’d no longer wanted? By losing something he’d not even known about because he hadn’t wanted to know?

Hadn’t wanted, period. Had accused her of depression when in reality she’d been... No. She wasn’t going there. She wasn’t.

She glanced around the dance floor. No one was paying much attention to them. No one except Meghan, who gave her a thumbs-up when their gazes met.

Oh, Meghan, if you only knew.

She resumed scanning the crowd. Her gaze connected to Richard’s again. She was going to have to do some explaining when she returned to the table.

Resentment built up in her and threatened to spill free.

“If you hurt, too, then why are you here opening up old wounds, Lucas? I’ve healed, am happy and could do without the twisted walk down memory lane.”

She felt more than heard him swallow.

“I told you why I’m here.”

“You and I will never be friends, Lucas. Leave me alone.”

With that she stepped out of his arms and made her way back to where Richard waited. Richard, who clearly had a hundred questions waiting to spring from his mouth.

She didn’t want to explain why she was upset about a shared dance with a man she worked with.

She bypassed the table and headed to the little girls’ room.

Oh, yeah, she was happy.


CHAPTER THREE (#ulink_197e722f-0151-522e-8d76-23dd7cd5c61e)

“HI, CASSIE. I’M DR. CAIN,” Lucas introduced himself to the little girl he’d be doing surgery on soon if all went as expected. He’d spent a lot of time reviewing her medical records. She’d been diagnosed with a noncancerous brain tumor that had been increasing in size despite treatments to shrink the mass.

His true love within his field was traumatic brain injury, but he dealt with a lot of brain tumors and other brain maladies, too.

“Hi,” the six-year-old answered, staring at him with big brown eyes that filled with uncertainty and a lack of trust.

No doubt over the past few months she’d been poked and prodded, tested and treated repeatedly to where she felt on constant guard long before his being asked to consult on her case by Dr. Edwards.

“What’re you doing there?” He gestured to the puzzle she worked on.

She resumed scanning the puzzle pieces. “My mom says I need to do more puzzles. That it will keep my brain sharp.”

“Your mom is a smart lady.” He sat down at the table next to her. “Can I help?”

She shrugged. “If you want to. I’m not sure all the pieces are here. It’s just a puzzle I found here, but it wasn’t put together when I started.”

Here being in the hospital playroom. A large room equipped with kid-sized tables, video game stations, toy centers and table activity centers.

He sat at the table, seeming to search for a place to fit the puzzle piece he’d picked up. In reality, he studied Cassie, watching her movements, her facial expressions, how she moved her hands, her body. How she grimaced repeatedly when she tried to focus on what she was doing, how she squinted her eyes and had a slight tremor to her movements.

“Does your head hurt, Cassie?” The answer seemed obvious, but sometimes asking a child an obvious question, even one he already knew the answer to, could help break the ice. He wanted Cassie to trust him.

“Yes, but sometimes not too bad.”

Her headaches were the first symptom that had clued her parents in to the fact that something wasn’t right with their little girl. Never had they imagined they’d be told she had a brain tumor the size of a golf ball. Fortunately, Cassie’s tumor wasn’t cancerous, but, due to the size and the fact it was growing, she’d begun to have more and more problems. Visual changes, hearing changes, speech changes, motor-skill changes. She’d started falling for no reason other than poor balance. Because the mass was taking over vital brain tissue and causing increased pressure in her head.

Although it would be tricky due to where it was located within the brain and the amount of tissue it encompassed, Cassie needed surgical excision of the mass.

Lucas was the doctor who was going to perform the surgery.

“Are you going to take my blood?”

At the child’s suspicious question, he shook his head. “No, I’m not here to take your blood, Cassie.”

“I don’t kick and scream,” she told him, not looking up from her puzzle. “I used to, but I don’t anymore.”

“That’s good to know, but I’m not going to take blood.”

She cast him a dubious glance. “What are you going to do?”

“Right now? Help you put this puzzle together and talk about your headaches.”

She shrugged. “Sometimes it feels like my head wants to blow up.”

No doubt.

“I’m a pediatric neurosurgeon. My job is to make your head stop hurting.”

The child looked up and squinted at him. “Can you do that?”

He nodded. “I’ve consulted with the neurologist you’ve been seeing, looked over your imaging tests. It’s not going to be easy, but, yes, I believe I can make your headaches go away.”

The child glanced toward her mother, who was sitting in a rocking chair watching their interaction. Looking tearful and tired, the woman nodded.

“I’d like my headaches to go away,” the girl said.

“Me, too.” He told the truth. Unfortunately, a lot of his cases weren’t things he could correct or effectively treat. Once he removed the tumor, Cassie should get great relief.

Of course, nothing about brain surgery was ever that easy.

With removal of her tumor came a lot of risk. A lot of worry about what type of residual effects she’d have from his having removed a portion of her brain. Her tumor wasn’t small and hadn’t responded to the chemotherapy meant to shrink it. There was a chance Cassie would be permanently brain damaged after the surgery, that she wouldn’t be able to do the things she currently did.

There was an even bigger chance that, at the rate her tumor was growing, the mass would take over her good tissue and cause more and more damage and eventually death.

Those were things he’d discussed with her parents in private already. They’d wanted to schedule surgery as soon as possible. He’d wanted to meet Cassie, to interact with her and to do a consult with a trusted pediatric neurosurgeon colleague to be sure he agreed with how Lucas intended to proceed with Cassie’s care and predicted outcome.

He popped a puzzle piece into place. “Let’s see if we can get this thing figured out.”

She nodded and handed him another puzzle piece.

* * *

Emily stopped short when she entered the hospital playroom and saw Lucas sitting in one of the small chairs at a table where Cassie Bellows worked on a puzzle.

Emily took all her patients to heart. Cassie was no exception. Emily had instantly felt a connection to the little girl and her parents.

Especially Cassie’s mother. Maybe because the woman was the same age as Emily. Maybe because of the gentle spirit she sensed within Cassie.

She’d known Lucas had been consulted on the case, knew that he’d likely do surgery on the child.

What she hadn’t known or expected was to walk into the playroom and see a highly skilled pediatric neurosurgeon sitting at a child’s table helping his patient put a puzzle together.

She’d worked in this department for years and that was one sight that had never before greeted her. If someone had told her she would see that, never would she have believed that neurosurgeon would be Lucas.

Lucas might have gone into pediatrics, but he’d given her the distinct impression during their marriage that he didn’t like kids. Too bad he hadn’t let her know that before...before... She sank her teeth into her lower lip.

He laughed at something the child said, then popped a puzzle piece into place, earning a “Good job” from Cassie. The girl studied the connected pieces and quickly found another fit.

Lucas high-fived her, compensating when the little girl’s movements were off from a sure smack of their hands.

Old dreams rattled inside Emily’s chest and her eyes watered. A metallic tang warned she’d mutilated her lower lip.

Darn him. She didn’t want to see him being nice. How was she supposed to keep him behind those “bad guy” walls she’d spent years erecting if he went around acting like a good guy?

It was an act. Had to be. He didn’t even like or want kids. Not that he’d ever said he didn’t like kids, but he’d reacted so poorly when she’d told him she wanted to have a baby. He had said point-blank he didn’t want children and for her to stop talking about it. If only she could have. By that point, he had taken anything she said to him the wrong way, and she’d quit talking to him. Talking had led to crying and crying to arguing and arguing had led to more and more distance between them.

Currently, distance between them was what she desperately needed.

Having him at Children’s was pure torture. Every time she saw him, she was taken to the past. She just wanted to forget the past. All of it.

Especially the end and the heart-wrenching events that had followed the night she’d left Lucas.

If only she could forget.

Why was he putting a puzzle together with Cassie? He didn’t have to interact with the child. All he had to do was examine her, talk to her parents, get surgical releases signed and then do brain surgery. No. Big. Deal.

No interaction required.

He needed to stick with the program of how he was supposed to behave.

Instead, he played with the little girl while her mother watched them as if he were a superhero. If Lucas cured Cassie with minimal negative effects of removing the tumor, she supposed Mrs. Bellows would find her views justified.

Emily knew better. He wasn’t a superhero, he was...

She stopped.

He was an ex-husband who was apparently a phenomenal pediatric neurosurgeon, and perhaps even a nice guy to his patients if the vision before her could be believed.

Which she still didn’t quite buy.

But Lucas was right about one thing.

If she was going to stay at Children’s, she had to let go of the personal. She couldn’t let patients like Cassie and her parents pick up on her animosity toward Lucas.

What if she caused them to doubt him? What if her feelings toward him somehow influenced a patient in a negative way and delayed or prevented needed care?

She’d told him she was a professional. She was. But even professionals could have broken hearts blinding them from time to time.

She couldn’t allow her personal biases about Lucas to bleed over to her patient care in any way. Not and remain proud of the type of nurse she was.

She’d not seen him since Saturday night at the fund-raiser. She’d managed to slip back into the ballroom and convince Richard she’d developed a headache and would like to go home. He’d looked relieved.

The headache had served as reason to send him home, as well. That hadn’t left him looking relieved. Quite the opposite.

He’d acted as if he suddenly wanted to stake his claim.

Perhaps she should have let him stay.

She cared about him, had been thinking they’d have a nice life together. He never made her cry.

But that night she hadn’t even been able to tolerate the idea of Richard kissing her. Nor had she been able to stomach the idea of him kissing her since.

She wasn’t sure she’d ever want him to again, because just-okay-ever-after might not be good enough, after all.

Darn Lucas and the turmoil he’d caused. Saturday night and last night she’d dreamed about him, dreamed about the past. Not the tears or fights, but about the one part of their relationship that had been magical.

Sex.

She’d had no previous experience and sex had never been as mind-blowing since. How good things had been between them could only be credited to his skills. He’d made her feel amazing, loved, completely over the moon and satiated.

One touch of his hand had made her squirm with desire. One kiss from his lips had made her need him with a ferocity that had never failed to surprise her. One time with him and she’d been hooked like an addict with a potent new fix.

He’d been her drug.

Only, not long after their marriage, he’d bored of sex with her. Had he actually cheated on her?

She didn’t think so.

Despite their flawed marriage, she didn’t think he’d taken their vows that lightly. He’d told her to leave before he’d gone that far. Maybe she was being naive, but she truly didn’t think he had.

In the days since their divorce, she didn’t fool herself that he’d been abstinent. He’d enjoyed sex too much for that.

Darn him that just seeing him sitting and playing with a child had somehow morphed into thinking about sex. She wouldn’t be having sex with Lucas. Not ever again.

Which was a shame in some ways, because he’d certainly made her feel things physically she’d not felt since. Richard really wasn’t the guy for her. She needed to look for someone else, someone who wanted the same things out of life that she did, but was also good at sex.

Did such a mythical creature exist? So far her experience had been one or the other, but never the twain had met. She’d thought so with Lucas, but everything had fallen apart and left her devastated. So much for young love.

“You want to help with our puzzle?”

Emily blinked. Darn. He’d caught her staring at him and no wonder with how long she’d stood watching him, reminiscing about the past. Oh, yeah, Lucas being at Children’s was affecting her professionalism, and she hated it.

“Sorry.” Sorry she’d gotten caught. Sorry her cheeks were on fire. Sorry her mind had wandered. Sorry she couldn’t be immune to him. Sorry her body flushed when he was looking at her as if he somehow knew what she’d been thinking. “I need to check on Cassie. She’s due a vitals check.”

The child looked at her suspiciously. “Are you going to take my blood?”

Focusing on her patient and doing her best to ignore the man watching her, Emily shook her head, hating that this was always the first question Cassie asked. Poor kid. “No. I’m going to take your temperature, your blood pressure, your heart rate, your oxygen saturation. Those kinds of things. But no needles.”

Cassie digested her answer, then lifted her little chin bravely. “I don’t cry anymore when my blood is drawn.”

“That’s a very big girl,” Emily praised, wanting to wrap her arms around the child. “But it’s okay to cry sometimes.”

Cassie blinked. “Do you ever cry?”

She’d cried an ocean’s worth of tears over the man sitting across the table from Cassie. Until Saturday night after she’d returned home from the TBI fund-raiser, she’d not cried in a long time.

She’d watered up on the anniversary of the day she’d left, but even then she’d managed to choke back the tears and keep herself distracted from the grief she knew she’d carry to the grave.

Unfortunately, a few days later, she’d broken down and cried bucketfuls. That had been the last day she’d cried. Maybe she’d always cry on that particular date. Oh, how much she’d lost.

“I used to cry a lot,” she answered honestly. Lucas had hated her tears, had begged her not to cry, but usually that had left her only more tearful. “But I rarely cry these days.”

Just when her ex-husband showed up and rocked her world by saying he wanted to be her friend. Right.

Lucas’s gaze was intense, so much so it bore into her. She ignored him. Let him think what he wanted. She’d wondered if hormones had played into her constant tears, but perhaps Lucas had been the real cause.

“These days, what makes you cry, Emily?” Lucas asked, his fingers toying with the puzzle piece he held. Did he know she’d cried Saturday night? Did he want her to admit how much he’d affected her? Truly, he triggered strong emotions whether they were of happiness or sadness.

“Sad movies,” she answered flippantly. No way was she getting into a discussion about what brought on her tears.

“Me, too,” Cassie piped up and began to talk about a movie where a dog had died and she’d cried.

While Lucas watched, Emily removed the thermometer from the supply tray she carried. She took the girl’s temp across her forehead, took her blood pressure, clipped the pulse oximeter over the child’s finger and completed her vitals check.

Then she took her stethoscope and listened to the girl’s heart and lung sounds and jotted them down on a notepad she kept in her pocket. She’d record them into the computer electronic medical record when she returned to the nurses’ station.

“Is there anything you need, Cassie?” she asked.

Wincing a little, the little girl shook her head. “Just to finish this puzzle.”

Emily glanced down at the three-fourths completed puzzle. “Looks like you’re making good headway.”

“Dr. Cain is helping.”

“I’m not much help,” Lucas quickly inserted. “Cassie is the puzzle master. I’m just riding on her coattails.”

Emily’s throat tightened. She didn’t attempt to speak. Why bother? There was nothing to say even if he was kind to a child.

She fought to keep from frowning. Professionalism, she reminded herself. Professionalism.

Ugh. She had to get him out of her head.

Which had been a lot easier when he’d been out of her sight. Now that he was working at Children’s, she was going to have to learn a new strategy to keep Lucas from ruining her hard-earned peace.

Work. She’d focus on work.

She turned to Cassie’s mother, smiled. “Anything I can get for you, Mrs. Bellows?”

The woman shook her head and thanked Emily anyway.

Without a word to Lucas, she headed out of the room. Lucas joined her in the hallway seconds later.

“I’m sorry.”

That made three apologies. Seemed Lucas’s vocabulary had definitely expanded over the past five years.

“For?” she asked, not sure what it was that had him saying a word he used to be unable, or unwilling, to say.

“Saturday night.”

Her heart raced within her chest, using her lungs for punching bags and leaving her breathy. “There were so many things you should be sorry for about Saturday night. Enlighten me as to which you refer specifically.”

“All of it.”

She ordered her hands not to shake and her feet not to trip over each other. “All of it?”

“Well, not the buying your date part,” he amended, flashing a good imitation of a repentant smile. “I’d like to take you to dinner, Emily.”

He wanted to take her to dinner. Flashbacks of the past hit again. He’d pursued her hot and heavy, had asked her out repeatedly until she’d said yes. Not that she’d not wanted to say yes to the handsome doctor, but she’d planned not to fall into the trap of dating the doctors she worked with. Ha. That hadn’t turned out so well.

“Perhaps you misunderstood how the date works,” she said, just because he waited for a response. “Part of what you won is that I am supposed to provide you with a meal.”

“I’d rather provide you with a meal, but beggars can’t be choosers. Would tomorrow night work?”

Beggars couldn’t be choosers? What did he mean by that? Whether or not she agreed to coexist with him really didn’t matter a hill of beans in his achieving his career goals. He had to know that. She frowned. “Maybe we should just make the ‘date’ a lunch one.”

He shook his head. “I work through lunch most days and just grab a few bites of something when I can.”

So did she, most days.

“Okay, fine. Tomorrow night,” she agreed for the sole reason that the sooner she had her “date” with him, the sooner she had that behind her and wouldn’t have it hanging over her head like an executioner’s ax.

“Really?”

Why did he look so surprised? Then again, he didn’t know she’d gone to the TBI fund-raiser chairman and requested to purchase her date and void her obligation to Lucas. The woman had denied her request with a laugh that said she thought Emily was silly for even asking.

“Let’s get this over with.”

His smile made his eyes twinkle. “What time can I pick you up?”

She did not want to be seen with him in public, but she supposed most of her friends already knew he’d bought her date. Several of them had asked how it felt to be bought by the hospital’s hot new doctor. Ugh.

“I’ll meet you at Stluka’s.” She told him the address of the bar and grill that was not too far from her apartment.

“Sounds great.” He smiled and Emily’s brain turned to mush. Pure mush. Lord, help her. She didn’t want his smile affecting her, didn’t want him to smile and her nerve endings to electrify with old memories.

That was all that was causing the zings through her. Old memories and not that he was knocking down bits and pieces of the protective wall she’d erected between them.

Maybe she was being too hard on herself. Lucas was a beautiful man with gorgeous eyes and a quick smile. Plus, she knew what those long fingers, that lush mouth, his hard body, were capable of. She knew.

Darn. She needed Lucas repellent. Or Lucas resistant spray. Or something. Anything to give her the power not to respond to his utter maleness.

She didn’t want to respond to him.

He represented the worst time of her life.

He represented the best time of her life, a little voice reminded. Only, that time of joy had been short-lived and she’d spent years recovering from the aftermath.


CHAPTER FOUR (#ulink_9ccd4b33-7ac3-5534-bc91-560c93728d20)

EMILY ARRIVED AT Stluka’s right on the dot of seven. Although she’d been ready and nervously pacing across her tiny apartment for the past hour, she’d refused to arrive early. She would not have Lucas thinking she’d been eager to spend time with him.

She wasn’t.

She just wanted this over. Which didn’t really explain why she had a nervous jittery feel in her stomach. Maybe that was normal when dining with one’s ex-husband.

The perky blonde hostess greeted her with a huge smile and welcomed her to Stluka’s. “Are you meeting someone or just want to hang at the bar?”

At that moment, a man stood from a bar stool, turned, met her gaze.

“I’m meeting someone. He’s already here.”

The girl followed Emily’s gaze and gave an impressed look. “Lucky you.”

Lucas joined her, but Emily wasn’t sure if he overheard the girl’s comment. If so, he didn’t acknowledge her admiration.

“We’re ready for our table,” he told the hostess.




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