The Rancher's Family Thanksgiving
Cathy Gillen Thacker
She’ll marry who she wants – or not at all! Susie Carrigan needs help – fast! With her family playing matchmaker, she can think of only one man to turn to. Rancher Tyler McCabe has always been there for her – anytime she needed a broad shoulder to lean on…or a warm body to heat up a cold night! Tyler has to stop Susie from making the biggest mistake of her life, but he hadn’t planned to put his own heart on the line. He can’t let Susie marry somebody else – not when there’s a man right here who loves her and plans to show her a Thanksgiving neither of them will forget…
“Now, why did you go and do a foolish thing like that?”
Tyler shrugged. “Because I wanted to end the argument and that was the fastest way I knew how.”
Susie’s eyes took on a turbulent sheen. Her lower lip slid out into a delicious pout. “I thought we agreed…”
“We wouldn’t fall into bed again.”
She nodded. “It could ruin our whole crisis management system.”
The truth was, there had been times when Tyler had really needed Susie, too. Times when she had come to his rescue. Been there for him. Had done what needed to be done, said what needed to be said.
“We set those boundaries with each other for a reason,” she continued firmly.
Boundaries he now wished – as he did every time he ended up kissing Susie – that they could take down…
CATHY GILLEN THACKER
married her school sweetheart and hasn’t had a dull moment since. Why? you ask. Well, there were three kids, various pets, any number of cars, several moves across the country, his and her careers and sundry other experiences (some of which were exciting and some of which weren’t). But mostly, there was love and friendship and laughter, and lots of experiences she wouldn’t trade for the world. Please visit her website at www.cathygillenthacker.com.
Dear Reader,
For us, the Thanksgiving holiday has alwaysincluded spending time with family and friends. Sometimes the family comes to us, and other times we hit the road to go to them, but there is always wonderful food, and a lot of love and laughter. We all have so much to be thankful for.
Susie Carrigan has a lot to be grateful about, too. She’s healthy. She has a thriving business. She lives near family. She has plenty of friends. So she doesn’t quite get why her parents feel the need to “fix her up” with five eligible Texas bachelors. She has no interest in getting married. And even if she wanted to…well, she just won’t.
Tyler McCabe knows why Susie is so fiercely independent. He’s self-reliant, too. But in Susie’s case, he thinks her parents may be right. He thinks Susie isn’t alone because she wants to be, but because she thinks she has to be.
Tyler knows Susie is flat-out wrong about that. Susie deserves to love and be loved in return. The only problem is Tyler doesn’t like any of the guys her parents have selected. So he does a little meddling and interfering and, before you know it, he’s a lot more involved in the situation than he had planned to be…
Happy Reading!
Sincerely,
Cathy Gillen Thacker
The Rancher’s Family Thanksgiving
CATHY GILLEN THACKER
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Chapter One
Expect miracles.
“Maybe it’s nothing.”
Susie Carrigan glared at the man she had chosen to save her from a fate worse than a hard frost on the first buds of spring.
Thirty-year-old Tyler McCabe was more than her best friend and an accomplished large animal vet. He was an astute fellow observer of human nature who could predict a person’s next move with startling accuracy, a fact that made his refusal to see the gravity of her current situation all the more frustrating.
“It’s not ‘nothing,’” she argued.
They were in the hospital barn of Tyler’s Healing Meadow Ranch, located just south of Laramie, Texas. He gave her a sexy, half smile that warmed her from the inside out.
“You can’t know that,” he said, hunkering down to finish his task.
Susie watched Tyler stitch up the flank of a longhorn calf who’d gotten tangled up in barbed wire. As always, his touch was gentle and sure, his sutures precise.
Trying not to think how those same hands would feel on her, if the two of them ever got together again—a fact she knew darn well was as unlikely as it was secretly appealing—Susie leaned back against the stall wall. She folded her arms in front of her. “Believe me, I know this. My parents are through waiting for me and my sibs to settle down and have families of our own. The holidays will be here in a few weeks. They’ve got plans for me, I’m telling you.”
Tyler swabbed antibiotic on the sealed wound, then covered it with a waterproof bandage. “I’d think that the heat would be off the rest of you now that Rebecca and Trevor are married.”
“Precisely the problem,” Susie lamented, her aggravation increasing. She looked at Tyler, studying his six-foot-four frame. Although he had an independent aura that could be a little off-putting at times—and a desire never to marry that matched her own—there wasn’t a finer-looking rancher around, in her opinion. He was strong and solidly muscled, with shoulders that were broad enough to lean on. She knew, because she’d done so, every now and again. He wore his thick reddish-brown hair on the longish side, so it brushed his collar and the tops of his ears; the no-fuss style suited him perfectly. His eyes were a distinct sage green with flecks of gray, his gaze both assessing and intent. He had a habit of shaving only every couple of days. The stubble of red-brown beard that surrounded his lips only served to remind her how passionately and skillfully he could kiss. Add to that a ruggedly handsome face, a McCabe-stubborn jaw that defied anyone to try and mess with him and a smile that was reckless and intuitive enough to make her heart flutter. And best of all, when she found herself in a potentially difficult situation, he always knew what to do or say to make her feel better.
Which was, of course, why she had come to him now.
Susie scuffed the toe of her sturdy engineer’s boots on the cement barn floor. “My parents think their plan to find suitable people for us to date, and hopefully marry, is what spurred Rebecca into going out and finding her perfect mate on her own. Basically, their plan worked! Now they aren’t going to rest until they match up me and Amy and Jeremy, too.”
“Meg and Luke can’t force you to do anything you don’t want to do, Suze.”
Susie flushed at Tyler’s use of the nickname he had given her when they were kids. “That will not stop them from trying.”
Tyler shrugged. “So tell them to back off. You’ll find your own man when you’re good and ready.”
Susie knew what she wanted. In theory, anyway. Whoever he was, the man of her dreams wouldn’t be much different from the man she saw standing in front of her.
Like Tyler, she would want her ideal someone to be taller than she was—not so easy to find for someone of her five-foot-ten inches height—and physically fit. She’d like him to be as comfortable working with his hands as she was with hers, and to enjoy being outdoors. She’d want someone, like Tyler, who had a wealth of experience in his expression, and a twinkle of humor that cropped up in his smile at the least expected times. She’d want him to call her on her bull, and let her call him on his. To make her feel that she could tell him anything. And most importantly, she’d want him to make her feel as if everything would turn out okay.
In a perfect world, that was the man she wanted. Unfortunately, her future wasn’t without potentially daunting liabilities, and in her heart of hearts, she knew it wasn’t fair to any man to ask him to share in those risks. It was bad enough that she had to deal with them, without dragging anyone else into that uncertainty.
“I want you to run interference for me,” Susie told Tyler.
He strode over to wash his hands in one of the sinks located at either end of the aisles between stalls. “By…”
“Going to my parents’ home with me.”
“No.”
Susie’s mouth dropped into an O of surprise. Their eyes met and held.
“I’m not going to help you put off until tomorrow what you should be taking care of today,” he told her firmly.
“Thanks a bunch,” Susie replied sarcastically.
Susie was used to Tyler being right there when she needed him. She wasn’t used to him refusing her anything.
He shrugged and, to her increasing dissatisfaction, held his ground. “You know your parents aren’t going to rest until they say whatever is on their mind. Therefore, you may as well just go on and get it done without me.”
“WE CALLED YOU HERE because we’re worried about you,” Meg Carrigan began as she and Susie’s father continued the preparations for the backyard party that would welcome Rebecca and Trevor home from their two-week honeymoon.
“It’s time you moved on and forgot the past,” Luke Carrigan added.
Susie tried to focus on the beauty of the November afternoon. It was unseasonably warm, with the temperature in the low seventies. The sky was a brilliant Texas-blue. It made a perfect backdrop for the red, gold and orange leaves on the trees.
Susie helped her mother spread burgundy cloth on the row of tables that would hold the buffet. “That’s easy for you to say. You didn’t go through what I did.”
Luke poured bags of ice into large galvanized tubs. “That was twelve years ago.”
And it feels like yesterday, Susie thought, putting bottles of beer and soft drinks in the ice to chill. “I’m fine.”
Her father moved on to setting up the barbecue grill. “If you were, you’d be dating someone.”
Maybe it was because her parents were both in the medical profession, but they had always been a lot more ready to dismiss what Susie had been through than she was. “Maybe,” Susie said calmly, “I’m just meant to go through life alone.”
Luke frowned, taking on the gentle but commanding air of a respected physician. “And maybe you’re not.”
Meg smiled like the understanding nurse she was and wrapped her arm around Susie’s shoulders. “We just want you to give love a chance.”
Susie tensed and stepped away. “I think they wrote a song about that.”
“Susie…” Luke’s voice held a warning tone.
Susie stopped rolling her eyes and sighed. “I suppose you two matchmakers have the man I should be seeing picked out, too.”
“Actually,” Meg allowed, “we have five.”
Susie blinked. “You’re kidding.”
Luke set the dials on his barbecue and began layering the first of several dozen baby back ribs on the grill. “All we are asking is that you allow us to arrange for you to make their acquaintance.”
“Which means,” Meg added, handing her husband a platter of Fredericksburg sausages, “giving them at least thirty minutes of your undivided attention.”
Susie laid out stacks of napkins, paper plates and silverware.” I can see the introductions now. Here’s my daughter, Susie. She’s a landscape architect who runs her own company and she can’t get an evening out to save her life.”
Her parents winced at her revealing choice of phrase.
“More accurately,” Luke corrected, “won’t accept an invitation for an evening out, from what I hear.”
Susie watched her father close the top of his grill over the sizzling meat. “Why lead ’em on if my intentions aren’t in the least bit serious? I’m always available for hanging out and going places with friends.”
Meg sat down to shuck some corn. “It’s not the same thing and you know it.”
“Why is this so important to you?”
Her father now walked around the yard, setting up folding chairs. “We want to know you’re moving on, especially now that the danger is over.”
As far as Susie was concerned, the danger would never be over. “The heartache can still come back.”
“It’s unlikely.” Her father came over to wrap an arm around his daughter.
“Unlikely” was not the same as “impossible,” and Susie wasn’t about to inflict her suffering on anyone else. “Look, Mom, Dad, I know you mean well,” she said, “but I’m happy with my life the way it is.” Her parents had a very happy marriage but she had a thriving business, a career she loved, a cozy house and enough money to do whatever she wanted in her leisure time.
“You could be even more content,” Meg said gently.
Susie studied her parents. Luke had silver running through his sandy-blond hair. Meg covered her silver strands with an auburn rinse that matched her natural hue. Both were fit, trim and remarkably energetic for a couple in their early fifties. They could also be indefatigable when it came to getting what they wanted for their four kids. Susie propped her hands on her hips and exhaled in exasperation. “You’re not going to give up on this, are you?”
Looking very much a couple, they shook their heads. “Not until you give it a try,” Meg admitted.
Given the fact that Thanksgiving was only a couple weeks away, Susie was willing to do whatever necessary to keep the peace for the holidays. She lifted a hand and set her boundaries. “I’m not going husband hunting. I will agree to meet the five guys—on one condition. If it doesn’t work out, if there’s no chemistry or interest on either one of our parts, you two have to back off. Permanently. And swear on all that is Texas that you will never say another word about me settling down, marrying and trying to have a family ever again.”
Her folks nodded, with obvious reluctance.
“How soon can we get this over with?” Susie asked impatiently.
Meg look over at the Congratulations Rebecca and Trevor! banner strung across the front porch. “I think we can arrange for you to meet all five bachelors in the next two weeks.”
“WHAT’S GOING ON BETWEEN you and Susie Carrigan?” Teddy McCabe asked Tyler, several hours later. “You haven’t taken your eyes off her since you arrived.”
Which, unfortunately, had been late, Tyler thought.
Beer in one hand, plate of barbecue in the other, he moved a little farther out in the backyard where the party was being held, and tried not to be so obvious about watching over the feistiest, most vulnerable woman he had ever known.
“Who’s the guy she’s been talking to?” Tyler asked.
It was clear from the range of expressions on Susie’s face that the stranger was one of the guys her parents had hoped to match her up with.
“New doctor at Laramie Community Hospital. Name is Whit Jenkins. Susie’s parents introduced the two of them soon after Whit arrived.”
Tyler could see why Meg and Luke would hope the two would hit it off. Whit Jenkins was thirty-something, decent looking, personable. In the twenty minutes, Susie had been talking to him over by the arbor, her expression had gone from pleasantly irritated—an expression Tyler knew well himself—to wary, to somewhat interested. He could tell by the way she was holding herself that she wasn’t drawn to Whit in the way her parents were probably hoping, but the night was young and the man showed no sign of leaving her side, especially now that Susie’s brother, Jeremy, fellow LCH physician, had joined the conversation.
“Do you know something I don’t?” Teddy continued.
“Meg and Luke are fixing Susie up with five different guys in the next two weeks.”
Teddy lifted a brow in surprise. “She agreed to that?”
Tyler nodded, recalling his phone conversation with Susie after the dreaded summit with her folks. She’d sounded remarkably chipper for someone who had lost the battle to keep any and all matchmaking out of her life, but Tyler wasn’t fooled. Susie might go along with Meg and Luke Carrigan’s wishes to keep the family peace, but she’d be privately gritting her teeth in resentment the whole time.
“So why is it bothering you?” Teddy asked.
Tyler looked at his brother. Teddy, Trevor and he were triplets, but the identical part only went so far as their basic looks. Teddy bred horses on his ranch, the Silverado. Trevor ran cattle on his place, the Wind Creek. Tyler’s Healing Meadow Ranch was a large animal veterinary hospital.
Now the once fiercely independent Trevor was married.
The irrepressible Teddy was openly lamenting not having a wife and family.
Only Tyler knew he was not destined for the altar, now or at any time in the future.
“We both know if Susie turns to anyone, she turns to you.”
“In crisis,” Tyler qualified. What happened when Susie wanted more than that? Would someone like Whit Jenkins step in to claim Susie as his own? And even if Whit did, what did it matter to Tyler?
It wasn’t as if he and Susie shared a romantic love. The affection they felt for each other was much deeper, and just as difficult to define. They’d never officially dated. They had tumbled into bed with each other, at last count, four times. If they both remained single, Tyler did not doubt it would happen again. And be followed, just as swiftly, by indecision and regret.
“The two of you hang out together for fun sometimes.”
Tyler shrugged as he polished off the potato salad and beans on his plate. “In a group. Never alone.”
“Not that hard to change—if you so desire,” Teddy murmured with a probing sidelong glance.
The question was, what did he want?
Tyler put down his plate and walked back out into the crowd to say hello to everyone he had yet to talk with at the party. He and Susie were a hell of a lot more than casual friends, yet they didn’t see each other all that often. They had the ability to talk in shorthand no one else understood, and yet there were times when he didn’t know what she was thinking or feeling or doing to save his life. He was always happy when he saw her. And he thought about her more than he knew he should. The two of them had cried on each other’s shoulders, slept together. And stayed up all night long exchanging confidences. Yet they’d never had a single date in all the time they had known each other.
And up until now, Tyler thought, as Susie finally broke away from Whit Jenkins, that had been okay, too.
Catching Tyler’s glance, Susie smiled and headed toward him.
And as usual, when he was anywhere in her radius, Tyler found he could not keep his eyes off her.
When working as a landscape architect or at the garden center she owned, she wore clothes that were ranch-hand rugged and yet sophisticated, too. Tonight, instead of the usual denim skirt or jeans, she had a soft flowing skirt of turquoise and dusty blue flowers with a ruffled hem and a silk-trimmed V-neck white knit shirt. Her small feet were encased with sturdy brown leather boots that just peeked from beneath the ruffled hem. A simple blue-and-white necklace encircled her throat, matching earrings adorned her ears.
As perfectly as the clothing draped her tall, slender frame, it was nothing compared to the captivating beauty of her face. Shoulder-length honey blond hair caught the evening light and framed her pretty face in a tumble of soft, mussed waves. Insightful amber-brown eyes gleamed beneath thin, elegant brows, the same shade as her hair. Her nose was long and straight; her high cheek-bones well defined; her lips soft, pink and perfectly drawn. Her normally fair skin bore the golden hint of summer sun, and a job that had her outdoors a great deal of the time.
His pulse picked up as her favorite fragrance—a combination of flowers and citrus—engulfed him.
She linked arms with him and drew him close. Smiling up at him, she said, “I need you to come with me. Now.”
“I’M GUESSING WHIT JENKINS was bachelor number one,” Tyler said, as they let themselves out the back gate of the Carrigans’ yard.
Susie cut across the front grass, toward the sidewalk. “Fortunately, yes.”
“Why fortunately?” Tyler asked, telling himself what he felt deep in his gut was definitely not jealousy.
The edges of Susie’s soft lips turned up in a triumphant smile as she waited for Tyler to catch up. “Because as it turns out Whit isn’t the least bit interested in dating me. He’s looking for a more dependent type of woman—someone who’s more interested in staying home than running her own business.”
That had been a stroke of luck. “Then why’d he agree to the meeting?” Tyler asked, unable to help but note how pretty Susie looked in the dusky evening light.
She shrugged. “He’s new in town. Doesn’t know anyone outside the hospital. Or he didn’t, until this evening.”
Tyler followed her over to her bright blue pickup truck. “You think your parents want you to hook up with a doctor?” It made sense, since Luke was a family physician and Meg a registered nurse.
“That’s not why they chose Whit,” Susie said with a frown. She motioned for him to get in the passenger side while she circled the front and climbed behind the wheel.
Curious, Tyler settled beside her.
“Although Whit’s being a physician is part of it,” Susie continued, making no effort to put her keys in the ignition. Which meant they were there to talk, not go anywhere.
Tyler shifted toward her. “I don’t get it.”
Susie shifted toward him. She looked Tyler straight in the eye. “Whit’s an oncologist.”
Tyler felt as if he’d been sucker punched. “Hedging their bets by fixing you up with a cancer specialist?” he asked quietly.
Susie’s cheeks pinkened. She pleated the fabric of her long, flowing skirt between her fingers. “My guess is they thought Whit would understand what I’ve been through, and from that perspective, we’d have a lot in common.”
Tyler tensed. “And do you?”
Susie shrugged. “I think we could be friends.”
Friends sounded a lot better to Tyler than boyfriend and girlfriend. Although why he should care so much stymied him. He and Susie weren’t headed for the altar. He wasn’t headed for it, period. “So where are we off to?” he asked her lightly, willing to do anything to erase the hurt from her amber eyes.
“The hospital.” Susie finally put the keys in the ignition, but delayed actually starting her truck’s engine. “Whit asked me to look in on a patient of his. Which is why I wanted you to tag along. I don’t like the idea of going in there alone.”
Tyler knew Susie avoided hospitals whenever possible.
Her worst memories were set there.
“So…” Susie gave him a look he was hard-pressed to deny. “You want to follow me in your truck? Then when we’re finished we can each go our separate ways?”
Tyler nodded. That was Susie, practical as ever. “I’ll meet up with you in the LCH parking lot,” he promised.
A few minutes later, they were walking through the entrance of Laramie Community hospital. After a short elevator ride, they were stepping out into the hospital’s brand-new oncology wing.
Susie stopped by the desk to tell the nurse she and Tyler were there to visit Emmaline Clark.
“I hope you can cheer her up. She’s been pretty down,” the nurse said.
An understatement, Tyler and Susie soon found out.
The pixie-faced adolescent was seated in bed, an IV hooked up to her arm. Thin and pale, she wore an auburn wig with a fake-looking sheen to it on her head. It was cut in a hairstyle for someone much older.
Her mother and father, an emotionally exhausted-looking couple in their midfifties, were seated in chairs adjacent to the bed. No one was talking. No one was watching the TV mounted overhead, although it was turned to a popular sitcom. There was an air of glum tension that permeated every ounce of air in the room.
Like a beam of sunshine sent down from the heavens, Susie stepped forward with a smile and extended her hand. She introduced herself and Tyler to Bill and Hedda Clark.
“You’re Luke and Meg Carrigan’s daughter,” Hedda said.
Susie nodded. “This is Tyler McCabe, a vet at the Laramie Animal Clinic.”
Tyler noted no interest at all from the patient in the bed.
“If you all want to take a break, Tyler and I can sit with Emmaline for a while,” Susie offered.
The Clarks—who’d obviously been expecting Susie’s visit—exchanged looks, then excused themselves politely.
“I’m not talking to anyone right now,” Emmaline muttered with a pointed look at Susie the moment her parents were out of earshot. “So you may as well leave.”
Susie perched on the window ledge. Despite her earlier trepidation about coming to the hospital, she looked quite calm. “Don’t blame you. I never wanted to talk to anyone when I lost my hair, either.”
Emmaline slowly turned her head toward Susie’s empathetic tone and studied her for a moment. “You don’t look sick.”
“I’m not. At least I don’t think I am,” Susie amended quickly. “Once you’ve had cancer, you never know.”
Emmaline turned her attention to Tyler. “Are you a survivor, too?”
He shook his head, unable to imagine what it must feel like to endure what Susie and Emmaline had.
“I brought Tyler along because he always knew what to say when I was sick.” Susie patted the place next to her and Tyler sat down.
“Illness doesn’t scare him,” Susie continued.
Not now, anyway, Tyler thought. There had been a time…
“Yeah, well, maybe he could give my friends lessons,” Emmaline said angrily. She tore off her awful wig and tossed it at the foot of the bed. It flopped to the floor. She didn’t look as if she much cared what happened to it.
“I take it they’ve deserted you?”
“In spades. Most of them only live about an hour from here, but even before we moved, all but one or two had stopped coming by.” Emmaline’s lower lip trembled. Moisture glittered in her eyes. “They couldn’t even be bothered to call or text message.”
“The tendency when people are sick is to leave them alone so they can rest and get well,” Tyler interjected gently. “Have you tried to contact them?”
Emmaline pouted. “Well…no.”
“Maybe you should,” Tyler said.
And maybe, Susie appeared to think, shooting Tyler a warning look only he could see, Emmaline shouldn’t….
Tyler shrugged and continued anyway, “They could just be waiting to hear you’re up for a visit or two or three.”
“I don’t know.” Emmaline studied the white blanket on her bed.
“I had the same experience with my friends not coming around when I was undergoing chemotherapy,” Susie said.
Emmaline lifted her head and asked Susie, “How old were you when you were diagnosed?”
“Sixteen.”
Sweat beaded on the top of Emmaline’s bald head. “I’m fourteen. I’ve been sick for two years.”
“It sucks,” Susie stated with heartfelt passion.
“Tell me about it.” Emmaline hit the remote, and the TV clicked off. She focused all her attention on Susie. “When did you get well?”
“I had my last chemo when I was eighteen.”
Her long sigh broke the silence in the room. “I hope I don’t have to wait that long,” Emmaline lamented.
Tyler did, too. “So what year are you in school?” he asked.
Emmaline smiled, just a little bit. “I’m a freshman, although I’ve yet to attend a single day of high school here. So far, all my lessons are being done at home.”
A fact that only added to her loneliness, Tyler guessed. “When are you going to get to go to class again?”
Emmaline shrugged. “Maybe around the first of December if I make it through the next few weeks of chemo. Not that I know anyone here. We just moved to Laramie a couple of weeks ago.”
Susie smiled sympathetically. “I’m guessing you’re not liking it much so far?” she said softly.
Emmaline scowled. “The town is a lot smaller than what I’m used to. And our house doesn’t have any trees or shrubs or flowers or anything, not like our last one did.”
“That can be fixed,” Susie said.
Emmaline ground the heel of her foot against the mattress. “My parents both work. They don’t have the time to work on the yard. Probably not the money, either, since we have to pay for everything the medical insurance doesn’t cover.”
“So why don’t you take charge of that?” Susie asked.
Emmaline looked at Susie as if she was nuts.
Tyler understood why. It did seem a ludicrous suggestion.
“What do you expect me to do from a hospital bed?” Emmaline demanded, upset.
Susie spread her hands wide. “Why, make a bargain with me, of course.”
“PRETTY CLEVER OF YOU, getting the kid to agree to help you plan landscaping for the Clarks’ yard,” Tyler said, half an hour later. He shortened his strides to match Susie’s as they walked through the half-empty hospital parking lot. It was nine o’clock, and visiting hours were ending. People were leaving in droves. “Even smarter, getting her parents to agree to let Emmaline help implement the changes, as she is physically able, and work off the cost of the plants at your landscape center.”
Susie accepted Tyler’s praise with a small shrug. “She can work on the design from her hospital bed. The part-time job in my center will help her meet people in the community and give her something to look forward to. And let’s face it,” Susie continued wistfully as the two of them stopped between their pickup trucks, parked side by side. The bright lights overhead caught the highlights in Susie’s hair and made it shimmer. “There’s nothing quite as healing as being one with nature.”
Tyler knew how much Susie loved being outdoors. “Except an understanding look or touch,” Tyler said.
Susie nodded in agreement. A distant look came into her eyes.
“Something on your mind?” Tyler asked.
Susie ducked her head, raked her teeth across her lower lip. “It’s nothing.”
“Tell me.”
Susie studied the painted yellow lines on the pavement, as stubborn and self-reliant as ever.
“We’re not leaving here until you do,” Tyler warned, knowing even if she didn’t that she was beginning to need him in her life once again.
Susie dragged the round toe of her leather engineer’s boot across the blacktop. “If you must know…” she conceded finally, on a reluctant sigh.
Tyler relaxed slightly. “I must.”
She tucked her hands in the flowing folds of her skirt. Eventually, she lifted her head and locked eyes with him. “I’m ticked off at my parents.”
No surprise there. Tyler was, too.
“For the fix-up?” Tyler guessed, wishing there were some way he could ensure that Susie would never be hurt by anything or anyone, past, present or future.
“For making this all about my cancer, once again.”
And then, to Tyler’s surprise, she promptly burst into tears.
Chapter Two
Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye….
Susie couldn’t believe she was standing there, blubbering in the parking lot.
She could believe Tyler was right there to fold her into his big strong arms and hold her close as the emotion poured out of her in great, galvanizing waves.
It wasn’t the first time she had turned to him this way. Although she was beginning to think maybe it should be the last.
It wasn’t fair of her, dumping all this on him when all he had done was care about her and stand by her. The two of them were crisis-buddies, nothing more, even if they had fallen into bed together, at last count, four highly memorable times.
Even if he was the only man she had ever made love with. Or even wanted to make love with… Never mind dared get that close.
She had to get a grip. He wasn’t her pillow.
Although right now with her drenching his shirt, that must be what he felt like.
She pulled away from him, wiping her eyes, and voiced the first excuse that came to mind that wouldn’t lead to questions. “I’m premenstrual,” she sniffed.
He chucked her beneath her chin. She should have known he wouldn’t let her off easy.
“Since when?” he teased.
In an effort to shield her eyes from his probing gaze, Susie let her forehead rest against his chest. “Since… forever,” she mumbled. A fresh flood of tears pressed hotly behind her eyes.
As if knowing the storm wasn’t over yet, Tyler tucked her into the curve of his arm and drew her back, to lean against the passenger side of his pickup truck. “There must be something more,” he murmured against the top of her head, one hand stroking down her back in long soothing strokes. “’Cause you rarely ever cry.” His warm breath touched her ear. He brought her closer yet. “Not like that.”
She had gotten pretty good at blinking back—or all-out hiding—discreet tears, when she was in public. It didn’t mean she didn’t feel incredible, overwhelming sadness sometimes.
And it didn’t mean Tyler didn’t pick up on the slightest change in her mood or demeanor. If she didn’t tell him now, he would just keep pestering her, keep digging, keep searching out the truth.
Finally, she shrugged.
She took the folded tissue he pressed into her hand.
Wiped her eyes. Blew her nose. And still couldn’t look him in the eye. “It’s everything,” she said finally.
Tyler brought her back into the curve of his strong arms. His touch was more brotherly than anything else, despite their passionate past. “I’m listening,” he told her in a low, gravelly voice.
Susie took another halting breath as she struggled to get her emotions under control. “If you must know, it’s Rebecca and Trevor. Seeing them together tonight, just back from their honeymoon. They looked so incredibly happy together. And I’m glad for them, I really am.” More than she had words to say. “But…”
Trevor nodded, even as his grip on her tightened protectively. “I felt a stab of envy, too,” he admitted in a low, understanding voice.
Susie pressed on the bridge of her nose to keep more tears from falling. “Which is stupid,” she continued, making no effort to hide her aggravation with herself, “because marriage has never been something I wanted.”
Trevor exhaled. His big body began to relax. “Me, either.”
The tears she had been doing everything to stop flowed anyway. “And yet…”
“Looking at the two of them—” Tyler picked up where she left off, as intuitive as ever where Susie was concerned “—I couldn’t help but feel I was missing out on something pretty spectacular.”
“Yeah.” Susie forced a watery smile. She dabbed at her eyes and took in a deep breath. “Although if we see them again in a month, they’ll probably be fighting over who leaves the toothpaste cap on and who leaves it off.”
Tyler ruffled the hair on the top of her head playfully. He drew back, smiling now. “And even that will be spectacular.”
Susie warmed at his attentiveness, even as she cautioned herself not to get used to it. Due to their busy schedules, there were times when the two of them went months without seeing each other, except for the occasional accidental meeting.
A couple other vehicles left the hospital parking lot. But Tyler seemed in no hurry to depart.
Nor was she.
She needed to talk to him tonight. She needed the special brand of comfort only he could give.
“So what else is on your mind?” he prodded.
Susie leaned against the side of the pickup truck, the cold metal a contrast with the warmth of Tyler’s tall frame. She folded her arms in front of her and looked up at the crescent moon, peeking out from behind the clouds. “I realized tonight I probably shouldn’t have agreed to my mom and dad’s plan to match me up with someone.”
Tyler shrugged, unconcerned. He turned so he was standing with one shoulder braced against the truck, facing her. He reached over and brushed a strand of hair from her cheek and tucked it behind her ear. “So tell ’em you’ve changed your mind.”
Susie studied the strong column of his throat, visible in the open neck of his shirt. “I made a deal. Besides—” she paused, bit her lip “—this is the only way I know to get them to back off for now.”
“So you’re assuming this won’t work?” Tyler didn’t look unhappy about that.
Nor, Susie realized, was she.
Finally, she felt herself begin to relax. And smile. “Well, duh, of course not,” she said wryly. She paused to look deep into his hazel eyes, noticing all over again what a ruggedly handsome man he was. And it was more than just the symmetry of his features. It was his kindness and compassion. The humor he exhibited. The way he picked up on a person’s slightest change in mood, the way he could always make a person feel better, with an offhand comment or smile.
Tyler McCabe was one man who was beautiful inside and out.
A man who revered family and friends.
A man who should not be going through life alone.
Aware he was waiting for her to continue unburdening herself, she said, “Fix-ups never work.”
He squinted as if doing some inner calculations, then finally allowed in a matter-of-fact tone, “Statistically, there’s probably a slight chance.”
Susie blew out an exasperated breath and shifted, her knee nudging his leg slightly in the process. “Not chance enough,” she muttered. The idea of living some real-life fairy tale occasionally dredged up romantic dreams she’d had about her future. But inevitably reality intervened and hit her with a terrible illness, disabusing her of any notion that she lived in a bubble, protected from all the worst things in life. Others might lead a charmed existence. Not her.
Never her.
“Some of us aren’t cut out for marriage,” Susie said firmly.
“I hear you.”
She smiled. “So don’t look for me to have an engagement ring on my finger, because it’s just not going to happen.”
Was that her imagination or was that a distinctly male satisfaction gleaming in his eyes, before concern took over once again.
Tyler studied her with his usual intuitiveness. “So what else is dragging you down?”
Susie knew there was something more, too, but she couldn’t figure out what.
She just knew, after she had talked to Tyler today, out at Healing Meadow, that she’d felt depressed. And her low mood had continued through the evening, only abating slightly when she had asked Tyler to go to the hospital with her.
Tyler’s voice turned husky. His hand cupped her shoulder, transmitting warmth and comfort through the cloth. “Is it about Emmaline?” He paused. “Did Whit Jenkins tell you something tonight before you went to see her that you’ve yet to share with me?”
Susie shook her head, still holding his eyes. “It’s not that. Whit told me Emmaline’s prognosis was good, that they are expecting her to make a full recovery as soon as she finishes the current course of chemo. Emmaline’s just depressed from the stress of treatment, and needed someone in her life who could relate. Since the hospital doesn’t have a support group for teens—currently she is their only oncology patient in that age group—and she refuses to go to the regular group, he thought—hoped—I would step in to be there for Emmaline.”
Tyler frowned, all protective male again. “Having no idea how hard that was going to be for you.”
Susie gave Tyler a look that let the handsome rancher know he did not have to go after Whit. “I’ve visited with adults who were sick and struggling with the disease. I’ve never talked to kids who were the age I was when I got diagnosed. I guess I just wasn’t prepared for how swiftly it would take me back to that place.”
A place she never wanted to visit again.
Suddenly aware how cold and damp the evening had become, how thin her sweater was, Susie shivered and wrapped her arms more tightly in front of her. “Or how overly emotional it would make me feel,” she finished, teeth chattering slightly.
Tyler scowled, abruptly looking like a knight charged with protecting his queen. “I know you want to help Emmaline. She obviously needs comforting from someone who can relate to her. But it doesn’t have to be you,” Tyler instructed her firmly.
He opened the door to her truck, and guided her inside, his hand lingering on her waist until he was sure she was settled behind the wheel. “I can go see Emmaline, in your place. I can take my aunt Kate. You know she does counseling here. She deals with stuff like this all the time.”
Susie appreciated Tyler’s desire to shield her from hurt, as always. This time she couldn’t let him shoulder the burden. She was strong now, as capable of helping others as he was. And it was time Tyler realized that.
Susie fit her truck keys into the ignition. “Kate is wonderful. I’m sure Emmaline would appreciate seeing both of you.”
Tyler rested a hand on the back of her seat and propped one boot on the running board. Elbow resting on his thigh, he studied her expression and guessed, “But you can’t duck out on her.”
Not and live with myself, I can’t.
Susie bolstered her courage even as she turned the key. “I made a promise to her tonight, Tyler.” She waited until he had closed the door for her, then put down her window and stated, just as firmly, “It’s a commitment I intend to keep.”
THE FOLLOWING MORNING, Tyler dropped by the Carrigans to see Susie’s parents. A Saturday, both Meg and Luke were working outside in the yard, raking leaves and weeding flower beds. As Tyler approached, he thought about how respected both were in the community. Meg was director of nursing at Laramie Community Hospital. Luke ran the family practice program that had recruited both Tyler’s cousin Riley, and their son, Jeremy Carrigan, to be on the hospital staff. They were good parents and they loved all four of their children dearly.
But they were making a mistake and it was up to Tyler to help them see it.
Hoping his meddling wouldn’t be taken the wrong way, Tyler headed up the walk. The last thing he wanted to do was make Susie’s life more difficult than it already was.
“Hi, Dr. Carrigan.”
“Tyler.” Luke put down his edger and ran a hand through his silver-blond hair.
Tyler nodded at Susie’s mother. “Mrs. Carrigan.”
Meg left her spade in the dirt and rose from her place beside the flower beds. Her auburn hair was mussed from the breeze stirring the fall air. Dirt and grass stained the knees of her coveralls. She smiled at Tyler, inching off her work gloves.
“Mind if I have a word with you?” Tyler asked.
“Of course not.” Meg motioned him to the screened-in back porch at the rear of the large turn-of-the-century Cape Cod.
Unlike the evening before, the afternoon was pleasantly warm.
She slipped into the house and came back with three glasses of mint iced tea.
“What’s up?” Luke Carrigan always got straight to the point.
Tyler sat in a cushioned wicker chair, opposite the long-married couple. “I want to talk to you about this plan to fix up Susie with four more guys.”
Brows lifted. Meg and Luke exchanged the kind of husband and wife glances that brimmed with understanding but required no words. “She told you,” Meg said finally.
Tyler nodded. “The first introduction didn’t go so well.”
“Yes, we know,” Luke said.
“Whit called this morning to say he and Susie were destined to be friends. The chemistry just wasn’t there.” Meg made no effort to hide her disappointment.
The next was a little harder to broach. Tyler frowned. “She’s upset you paired her with an oncologist.”
Meg and Luke clearly did not agree with Tyler’s opinion that it had been a stupid thing to do.
Giving Tyler the kind of man-to-man look that held nothing back, Luke replied, “Who better, if it had worked out?”
Me, Tyler wanted to say, though he had no idea where that thought had come from. He and Susie were not—had never been—a couple. They were crisis buddies, pure and simple.
Most of the time they were busy living their own lives. But right now Susie needed his help in the worst way.
Tyler approached her parents with the same mixture of tempered caution and compassion he used on his patients’ owners.
“Susie is trying to put the disease in her past.”
Meg’s expression clouded with remorse. It was clear she was reacting as much as a medical professional now, as a mother.
“That’s not possible, Tyler,” Meg said.
Luke added, with empathy, “None of us can ever forget what Susie went through to regain her good health.” He paused, looked Tyler straight in the eye, his aggravation plain. “I would think you would understand that better than anyone, given how much time you spent with Susie during her treatment.”
“And every time since, when she has encountered some sort of difficulty,” Meg added, with a look at her husband.
It hadn’t mattered what kind of problem Susie’d had, Tyler thought. Business, personal, whatever. If she needed a shoulder to lean on, he was there. And when she no longer needed him, he just as conveniently disappeared. That way, they could maintain the status quo. It was very important to Tyler to maintain their relationship just as it was. To not do anything that would risk what he hoped would be a life-long connection.
“And we appreciate all that you’ve done for her, thus far, more than we can say,” Luke continued.
Not about to be cast in the role of hero now, as he had been by the Carrigans back then, Tyler shrugged. As much as he pretended Susie was just another friend, deep inside, he knew that was not the case. Susie and he shared an intimacy, an ability to tell each other anything, he had with no one else, and that included his two triplet-brothers. Tyler sensed that for Susie, as close as she was to her family, she felt the same way about him. She could unburden herself to him in a way she could not confide in anyone else.
It had been that way from his very first visit to her hospital room. It was that way now, and always would be, he figured, no matter who else came and went in their lives. And if the past was any indication, other people would always come and go, since neither he nor Susie had the desire to marry and settle down.
Aware the Carrigans were waiting for him to continue explaining why he felt the need to butt into a family matter that was clearly none of his business, or should not have been, anyway, Tyler said, “I’m glad you appreciate what I’ve done for your daughter, but it’s a two-way street. Susie has been there for me, too, when I’ve needed her.”
Luke drained his tea. His expression shifted into Overprotective Father mode. “Unfortunately,” Luke stated evenly, “we also know Susie needs a lot more in her life than you can give her as a go-to friend.”
Meg held up a hand before Tyler could comment.
“Getting Susie to admit that, however, has proved difficult,” Meg concurred with Luke, like a mama bear protecting her cub. “Which is why her father and I have taken matters into our own hands and given her the nudge she needs to get out there and really start living her life again. Not just day to day, the way she has been, Tyler, but with a real eye toward the future and all she has left to experience.”
“I HEARD YOU STOPPED BY my folks’ this morning on your way to the clinic.”
Tyler looked up to see Susie framed in the doorway of his office.
He pushed back from the endless paperwork that occupied him the first and third Saturday afternoon of every month. He had hoped she wouldn’t find out about his visit.
“Can’t keep anything from you, can I?” he teased.
As expected, Susie refused to let his cajoling get him off the hook.
She sauntered in, looking beautiful in jeans and a white V-neck T-shirt. Four oddly shaped pearls hung pendant style around her neck from a thin piece of brown leather necklace, two more adorned her ear. Tyler smiled. Susie liked to accessorize, and her tastes ran to the unusual.
“They thought your interference was sweet but ill-advised.”
Tyler noted her wavy blond hair had been drawn into a low ponytail at the nape of her neck. He knew Susie only put it back like that when the length and weight of her glossy mane was bothering her. “I take it that means there is a Bachelor Number Two on the schedule?”
She lounged next to his desk, engulfing him in her sexy flowers and citrus perfume. “Gary Hecht. A statistician. I’m meeting him for a half an hour at the driving range this evening.”
With effort, Tyler shifted his gaze from the subtle curve of her hip, to her face. He tossed his pen down on his desk, rocked back in his chair. “I didn’t know you golfed.”
Susie made a face. “I don’t. But he does.” Humor glittered in her amber eyes as she acknowledged with a toss of her head, “I figured that would keep his attention focused on something other than me and make the thirty minutes go a heck of a lot quicker.”
“Glad to hear you’re really getting into the spirit of things,” Tyler drawled.
Susie hopped up on the edge of his desk. She put her hands on either side of her, kept one foot on the floor, and swung the other leg back and forth.
“Which is where you come in,” Susie said.
Tyler’s hand dropped to her fingertips, curled over the edge of his desk. As always he marveled at the feminine sight. Given how much time she spent rooting around in the soil, he would have figured her hands would show the wear and tear. True, her nails were neat and short. And she almost never wore any jewelry on her hands. But her palms were every bit as silky smooth as the rest of her.
Struggling to keep his attention focused on the conversation, Tyler returned, “Oh, yeah?”
Susie nodded agreeably. Devilry colored her low tone. “I want you to accidentally on purpose show up there about the time I am supposed to leave to facilitate my exit, if things get sticky. They may not, but better safe than sorry.”
The idea of rescuing her yet again was not unappealing, although Tyler pretended it was.
Watching how the autumn sunlight streaming through the open blinds brought out the honey-gold in her hair, he regarded her with mock exasperation. “And what do I get for this?”
Susie tapped the pad of her index finger against her chin in a parody of thoughtfulness. “Uh…fresh flowers for the reception desk?”
Tyler rocked back in his chair and clasped his fingers together behind his head. As far as interruptions went, this was the most pleasurable one he’d had in quite a while.
He feigned a disagreeable attitude. “You know I could care less about anything floral.”
Unless it’s a fragrance, adorning your skin.
Tyler didn’t know why, her particular pheromones, maybe, but Susie made perfume—any perfume—smell incredible.
She squinting at him playfully and finally offered up a new bargain. “How about…hmm…I iron some of your shirts?”
His preference for unstarched cotton was a running joke between them. He fingered the pine-green oxford he was wearing. “I like ’em rumpled.”
Susie swung her leg back and forth. “I’ll plant a tree in front of your ranch house.”
“It would just get in the way of my tractor when I mow.”
Trevor wanted his off time and the chores he had to do around his Healing Meadow ranch to be as easy as possible.
“Okay, then—” she batted her eyelashes at him flirtatiously “—I’ll pay for dinner.”
“Now you’re talking.”
She held up a cautioning finger. “But it can’t be here in town. It wouldn’t be sensitive to ditch one date and then publicly go right out and eat a meal with another.”
Tyler tried and failed to keep an amused grin off his face. “But it would be okay to do it behind Bachelor Number Two’s back?”
Susie huffed and hopped off his desk. She strode back and forth restlessly. “Whose side are you on?”
As if she even had to ask. “Yours. Definitely.”
“All right.” Susie paused and circled her waist with her hands. She tilted her head at him thoughtfully. “So where do you want to eat?”
Tyler shrugged. “You know the area every bit as well as I do. Surprise me.”
GARY HECHT TURNED OUT to be shorter than Susie by a good inch and a half, and movie-star handsome, Susie noted. He also had a great golf swing.
“I gather my parents told you I had leukemia when I was a teenager,” Susie picked a spot near the end of the Armadillo Acres driving range, and set her bucket of balls down on the grass.
“Yes, they did and I immediately ran the statistics.” Gary set his bucket down to the left of hers and plucked a custom club from his golf bag.
He removed the cover and ran his hand lovingly over the stem of the stick, and onto the wood head of the club, his fingers tracing the loft, as if to ensure it were still in perfect shape.
He regarded Susie with scientific enthusiasm. “Do you know that you have a greater chance of getting in a fatal car accident or contracting a deadly form of pneumonia than you do of getting cancer again?”
“No. I can’t say I did,” Susie said drily.
Her attempt at humor was lost on the insurance company actuary. This could be a long thirty minutes.
She loathed being stuck with a humorless companion. Being on a date with one was even worse.
Gary caught her dissatisfied look. “Illness doesn’t scare me, if that’s what you’re worried about.” Satisfied all was in order with his driver, Gary placed a golf ball on the tee and paused to line up his first shot. “And if most people looked at the numbers, I don’t think it would scare them nearly as much, either. Modern medicine has done great things when it comes to improving life expectancy. Thanks to all the research being done, and new protocols developed, the odds of living a long, healthy life are getting better all the time.”
Susie supposed she was living proof of that.
Now, if someone could just convince Emmaline Clark the odds were on her side, too.
“Do you talk to all your dates about this?” Susie lined up her shot, too. She swung as hard as she could. The ball went a measly twenty-five yards.
“Oh. Definitely,” Gary said. A look of pure bliss crossed his features. “I love numbers.”
Susie nodded. “I can see that you do.” She watched Gary make a perfect line drive.
It looked as if he loved golf, too.
Gary nodded in greeting as another customer made his way past them to take up a position on the other side of Susie.
Susie started to nod, too, when she caught a whiff of man and cologne that was all too familiar. She took a good look at the cowboy ambling by, in a striped golf shirt she could swear she had never seen before, his usual denim jeans, and what looked like a pair of bowling shoes.
He kept his eyes on the green.
Gary frowned at the way Susie’s mouth was hanging open. “You know him?” Gary inclined his head at Tyler McCabe.
“I know everyone around here.” Susie flashed Tyler a tight, officious smile.
This hadn’t been their deal.
Tyler had been supposed to show up at seven-thirty, at the end of her “date” with Bachelor Number Two.
Instead, Tyler had showed up at the beginning and positioned himself in perfect eavesdropping position.
How was she supposed to concentrate on giving Gary Hecht the attention he deserved with Tyler right beside her? It was like going on a date with her parents!
Not to mention, Tyler’s golf shot was worse than hers and he kept getting his balls in her lane.
Turning her back to Tyler, Susie looked at Gary. “Tell me more about your job,” she said.
Another thing Gary loved to do was talk about his life.
For the next forty minutes, she could hardly get a word in edgewise. Finally, both their buckets were empty. “Want to get more balls?” Gary asked.
“Actually, I think I’m going to have to call it an evening,” Susie said. They gathered up their gear. “But there is something I’d like to talk to you about—in private.” She flashed her most persuasive smile at her companion—the kind she saved for very special and or important occasions—and walked off.
TYLER COULDN’T BELIEVE IT. Susie’s date had been one of the most self-absorbed men he had ever had the chance to come across, yet Susie was acting as if Gary were heaven’s gift as she sauntered off with him, arm in arm.
He quickly emptied his bucket, picked up the clubs he’d borrowed from one of his cousins, and headed back to the window.
“Nice outfit, Doc.” The girl behind the counter winked.
Tyler grinned. The shirt had cost him all of five bucks at the thrift shop. “You like it?”
“It’s real eye-catching.” The teenage clerk popped her gum. “Real, uh, orange. And green. And white. And striped.” She looked down at his two-tone footwear, so different from the boots he usually wore. “I like the shoes, though.” She gave the brown-and-beige leather a thumbs-up.
Funny, Tyler thought they were the ugliest things he had ever seen. They felt unsubstantial, too.
With his bagful of borrowed clubs slung over his shoulder, he headed for the parking lot. Susie was standing next to Gary Hecht’s white sedan, writing what appeared to be her phone number on a piece of paper.
“Call me,” he heard her say as he passed by. “And we’ll set something up as soon as possible.”
“Okay. I will.” Gary smiled and leaned forward to brush his lips against her cheek in a standard Southern goodbye.
It was the kind of casual kiss a neighbor gave a friend. But it burned him up.
Almost as much as the sight of Susie hopping in the cab of her pickup truck and driving off without so much as a glance in his direction.
What the…
Tyler jumped in his pickup truck and drove after her. He’d expected her to laugh at his getup. Much as the teenage clerk had.
Susie had a great sense of humor and right about now Tyler felt she needed a little extra laughter in her life.
Unfortunately, his choice of clothing had apparently done little to amuse her because she did not stop until she reached the small shotgun-style house tucked away behind the landscape center she owned.
Rectangular in shape, the one-story, century-old residence was located behind three large greenhouses and the rows of trees and saplings for sale, and was hence, well separated from Carrigan Landscape Center and Design.
Her business closed at six o’clock on Saturdays. The parking lot was deserted. The two of them were very much alone, which suited Tyler just fine. He didn’t want anyone else overhearing what he had to say to Susie.
Tyler got out of his truck and followed her up onto the porch.
She whirled to face him. Twin spots of pink color emphasized the elegant bones of her cheeks.
“Are you mad at me?”
Susie snorted in contempt. Lifted a brow. “Gee. You think?”
Tyler exhaled in exasperation. “Why?”
Susie set her chin. “I asked you to give me an out if I needed one.” She stepped nearer. “Not chaperone the entire outing!”
Her stormy attitude added fuel to the fire of resentment burning within him. Tyler looked her up and down in a manner meant to irritate her, lingering on the curves of her breasts beneath the white T-shirt, the wide leather belt cinched around her slender waist, and the trim fit of her bootleg jeans, before returning his gaze, ever so slowly, ever so deliberately, to her flashing amber eyes. “You act like I interrupted something.”
Susie’s lids narrowed. She glared at him through a fringe of thick honey blond lashes. “As it happens, you were!”
“You like that guy?” Tyler still couldn’t believe she was giving the self-absorbed statistician a second chance to call her or go out with her or whatever.
“Of course I did.” A fresh wave of color came into her face. “He was nice!”
“I mean as a boyfriend,” Tyler clarified.
She lifted her shoulders in a stubborn little shrug. “What if I did?”
Tyler stepped nearer. “Then I’d have to say I severely misjudged you because I never envisioned you spending time with the most anal, numbers-driven guy I’ve ever come across in my life.”
He’d never really expected her to give any guy—except him—the time of day, given the solitary way she had been living her life.
“Gary Hecht is an actuary. What did you expect?”
“I don’t know,” Tyler said drily. He paused to look deep into Susie’s eyes. “At the very least, I figured there would have been some conversation about the great November weather.”
“Well, now that would have been thrilling,” Susie sassed back, mocking Tyler’s sober tone.
“Certainly,” Tyler continued critically, trying to impress upon Susie the need to raise her standards. “It would have been laudable if there had been a lot less talk about Gary Hecht and his interests and more focus on you.”
Susie shook her head at Tyler as if she could not believe his stupidity. She stepped nearer, not stopping until they stood toe-to-toe and nose to nose. “Did it ever occur to you that I did not want Gary Hecht to focus on me?”
That had certainly been his wish, Tyler thought. It should not have been Susie’s. “Exchanging information—one’s likes and dislikes—is part of dating, Suze.”
Susie’s expression turned smug. “It wasn’t dating,” she informed him sweetly, batting her eyelashes Texas-belle style once again. “It was an introduction.”
Tyler didn’t know whether to be relieved nothing of any import had happened between Susie and Gary Hecht after all, or ticked off that Susie was goading him deliberately, trying to get a rise out of him. Or that it was working.
“Same thing, from the looks of it,” Tyler muttered back.
“No,” Susie countered patiently. “It wasn’t.” She paused a moment to let her words sink in. “I went tonight to pacify my parents. And because I wanted him to do a favor for me. Which, by the way, no thanks to you and your distracting presence, Gary readily agreed to do!”
Tyler tried not to be too thrilled that he had disrupted her powers of concentration as much as she had disrupted his this evening. “What kind of favor?” he asked.
Susie huffed, becoming difficult once again. “I’m not telling.”
Tyler thought of all the ways he could force the information out of her. Kissing her, being the prime one.
“Is that so?” he countered back, his temper inching ever higher.
Amber eyes flashed. “You better believe it is.”
Ignoring her sarcasm, he continued searching her face. “Don’t you think you are being a little bit childish?”
She glared at him in resentment and splayed a hand across his chest. “You’re one to talk! This whole discussion is absolutely stupid and juvenile and pointless and—”
Tyler had heard enough. Doing what he had wanted to do from the first moment he had laid eyes on her at the driving range this evening, he wrapped his arms around her, brought her close, lowered his head, and fastened his lips over hers. It had been an eternity since he had kissed her. Too long. All he knew was that in this moment she was everything he had ever wanted, everything he had never had. Not in any way that counted, since the two of them had made sure that every previous clinch they had shared in the last twenty-four hours had gone absolutely nowhere….
Whereas this kiss…this kiss felt as if it was going somewhere. And it was more than just the softness of her lips, or the peppermint taste of her mouth, the softness of her breasts molding against his chest, or the feel of her hands clasping the back of his neck. It was the way she was kissing him back. As if there was no tomorrow. As if there had never been a yesterday. As if this moment was all that counted, or would ever matter.
As Tyler brought Susie closer still, he knew she was right.
Tonight was all that mattered.
In so many ways, Susie was all that mattered.
Which was why he knew he had to honor their previous promise to each other and stop now, before this went any further, and the two of them ended up in bed together, again.
Calling upon every ounce of gentlemanly restraint he possessed, Tyler let the kiss come to a halt. Slowly, he lifted his head and looked into her eyes.
And even more reluctantly, let her go.
They drew apart, much more slowly than they had ever come together. Susie had that dazed look in her eyes that was at once both deeply satisfied and yearning for more. It destroyed him every time. Tonight was no exception. He wanted her more than ever, even as he knew full well all the reasons why they should never ever be more than crisis buddies.
To do otherwise, to pretend he would always be there for her…in the way that she needed…to pretend they could ever be as emotionally close as she needed her potential soul mate to be…was pure fallacy.
Tyler knew his shortcomings.
He was not going to inflict them on Susie.
He was not ever going to put her in a position where he would hurt her, the way she had once been hurt before.
The kiss…well, the kiss had been a way to end the argument before it went too far, and either of them said or did anything they would later regret, Tyler reasoned, even as guilt washed over him, anew.
Susie stepped back, and shoved her hands through her silky blond hair.
Having recovered completely from the unexpected intimacy of the moment, she stomped her foot. “Now why did you go and do a darn fool thing like that?”
Tyler shrugged.
“Because I wanted to end the argument and that was the fastest way I knew how.”
Susie’s eyes took on a turbulent sheen. Her lower lip slid out into a delicious pout. “I thought we agreed…”
Tyler’s gut tightened. “We wouldn’t fall into bed again.”
She nodded, her expression as solemn—and worried—as her mood. “It could ruin our whole crisis management system, Tyler.”
A system, Tyler knew, Susie depended upon. The truth was, there had been times when Tyler really needed Susie, too. Times when she had come to his rescue.
Been there. Done what needed to be done, said what needed to be said. And then left, as soon as he was on an even keel again. Had it not been for her…
He doubted he would have survived those dark times as well as he had.
“You know I’m right,” Susie persisted, her voice taking on a more normal sound.
That was the hell of it. On some level, Tyler did know.
On another…
“We set those boundaries with each other for a reason,” Susie continued firmly.
Boundaries Tyler now wished—as he did every time he ended up kissing Susie—that they could take down.
“Well?” Susie prodded with a discreet lift of her brow.
A discreet lift that said she was much more relaxed about what had just happened between the two of them than he was.
She waited for his response.
Before Tyler could reply the pager at his waist went off.
He looked at the number flashing across the screen, frowned.
Susie sighed and guessed, “Emergency?”
“I hope not,” Tyler groused, shoving a hand through his hair. “I don’t want anything ruining our dinner plans.”
He didn’t want their evening ending with Susie still in a mood to regret—or was it simply dismiss—their impetuous and forbidden kiss.
Eyes locked with hers, he answered the call. Listened intently. “No problem,” Tyler said when the caller had finished. “I’ll be right there.”
“So much for brisket, I guess,” Susie lamented as he shut off the phone and put it back on his belt.
Tyler scoffed as he headed back to his truck. He reached into the compartment behind the seat, and pulled out a rumpled tan chambray shirt from the pile of clean laundry there.
He stripped off the ugly green-white-and-orange striped golf shirt, then stood there a minute, naked from the waist up, as he put the shirt that was inside out to rights.
“I was really looking forward to treating us both to some fine Texas barbecue. Another time then, I guess.”
Tyler grinned. “Are you kidding me?” Pulse racing, he shoved his arms through the sleeves of the shirt and buttoned the soft rumpled cotton cloth from the bottom up. “You’re not getting off the hook that easily, missy.” Now that he had her full attention, he let his gaze meet and hold hers. “You’re going on this vet call with me.”
Chapter Three
To get more out of life, give more of yourself.
It wasn’t the first time Susie had seen Tyler without a shirt, she ruminated as she and Tyler drove to see Tyler’s equine patient. She and Tyler’d been swimming together, for heaven’s sake. But treading water wasn’t what she thought about when she saw his broad muscular shoulders, taut pecs and strong abs.
She thought about what it would be like to be his woman. She thought about the last time they had made love. She thought about how quickly they undressed whenever they fell into each other’s arms and how swiftly they put their clothes back on when reality hit them over the heads and the passion was spent. She thought about the wistful yearning she always suffered afterward. How she wished she and he had the kind of relationship where they could cuddle and share pillow talk and make love whenever they pleased, however much they pleased. She wished they could have the kind of relationship where they saw each other and hung out together all the time, even when their lives were excessively dull.
Unfortunately, that hadn’t been the case in the past, and for reasons far beyond their control, would not be so in the future.
Susie exhaled in frustration.
She needed to get a grip.
Stop letting her parents’ constant talk of love and romance and finding the perfect man to settle down with fill her head with romantic notions. She needed to be practical. And a realistic assessment of her recent actions indicated that she had completely overreacted to Tyler’s showing up early at the driving range. True, he’d had no business hovering over her like a chaperone intent on breaking up the first sign of familiarity, but she knew he had meant well, even if he had been ridiculously overprotective.
What really annoyed her was how traitorous and guilty his mere presence had made her feel.
It wasn’t as if she had been cheating on him, or was being unfaithful to him in any way. Sure, the two of them had impetuously crossed the line from friends to lovers four times in the past decade. Each time, they had promised themselves and each other there wouldn’t be a next time.
Each time, there had been a very good reason.
The first time they had come together like that had been on her twenty-first birthday. She was feeling sorry for herself, thinking that because of her illness, and the possibility it may come back, she would never get close enough to anyone to make love. Tyler had told her she was wrong, and the next thing they knew they had ended up in her dorm room bed. She had pushed him away afterward, accepting that it never should have happened.
The second time had been four years later, when he had passed his boards and gotten his license to practice veterinary medicine. He’d called her, wanting to celebrate. They’d had way too many margaritas. And somehow ended up in bed, again. That time they’d fallen asleep afterward. They’d awakened at dawn, hung over, happy—about his success—but mortified by their lapse in judgment.
It had been awkward for them for a while. They were both embarrassed by the sheer physical abandon with which they’d given themselves to each other. But eventually they’d chalked it up to an alcoholic and joyful aberration and gone back to being crisis buddies once again.
Which of course was how the third time had come about, several years after that.
One of Tyler’s college friends had been killed in an accident, and he’d been devastated by his buddy’s death. Susie had gone to the funeral in Corpus Christi with Tyler and they’d ended up talking in their hotel room late into the night. Tyler had been so sad, so devastated, it had seemed only right that Susie reach out to him. One hug had turned into two. Before she had known it, they were kissing again, and once they started kissing, there was no reason either of them could think of to stop. Fueled by grief and sadness and the need to feel, in that instant, very much alive, they had tumbled right back into bed.
They’d made love through the night that time. Fiercely, passionately.
By the time morning came, they had come to grips with the passing of his friend. But were more confused than ever about what had transpired between them. They knew it wouldn’t have happened had the two of them been back in Laramie, Tyler not reeling with grief. So again, they had promised themselves. No more.
And that vow had held until the day a year before, when Susie’d had a close call on the job. She was out doing a bid on a property, inspecting a tree that had died and needed to be removed, when one of the rotting limbs broke off and came down, knocking her to the ground, narrowly missing her head. Her crew had insisted she go to the hospital and get checked out. Her parents had overreacted even though all Susie had to show for the near-death experience was a few bruises and a torn shirt.
Meg and Luke had wanted her to go home with them.
She’d called Tyler and had him come and get her instead.
Tyler had told her parents he would stay with Susie through the night—a move that had turned out to be both good and bad. Good because when the enormity of what had nearly happened finally hit Susie she had started crying and couldn’t stop. Tyler had held her until the storm passed, and a different storm started. Once again, they had ended up in her bed.
Making love with him that night had been the perfect remedy for the calamity. The usual confusion and promises not to ever do it again had followed. And they had kept that promise. Until tonight.
The fact they had ended up in each other’s arms this evening really was no surprise, Susie silently reassured herself.
Her parents had a talent for driving her absolutely crazy. And now, thanks to her plea for his intervention, Tyler was being driven to distraction by the situation, too.
Fortunately, this time, for the first time, their coming together like that had started and ended with a single kiss. His emergency call had removed them from a situation rife with physical temptation and emotional pitfalls.
And now that she had gotten the much-needed break, she had to take a step back. Take a deep breath, and go back to what worked best for her, living moment to moment. No plans for the future, other than the ones she had for her business.
The upcoming holidays were going to be tough enough without adding another emotionally complicated but ultimately going-nowhere lovemaking session with Tyler to the mix. Thanksgiving was so family-centered. It always brought home to her the things that would never be hers—a husband, children, the deep, inherent belief she would have everything she had ever wanted, everything she deserved, and live to a ripe old age.
All that and more had been taken from her. She didn’t care what anyone said. No platitude or encouragement could bring it back.
“Still ticked off at me for kissing you that way?” Tyler drawled, turning his pickup into the fair grounds where the Laramie County barrel racing competition was being held.
How could she be mad at him when she was equally to blame?
Susie flashed a smile. “Not a problem as long as you don’t do it again.”
Tyler’s expression remained inscrutable. He searched for a parking place. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
Which was not the same thing as promising to abstain, Susie noted.
Jimmy Rooney and his father met them at the entrance to the horse barn. Mr. Rooney was a mild-looking man, unlike his son, who seemed like an arrogant kid.
Susie sized up the sixteen-year-old with the custom-made Western clothing, expensive hat and hand-tooled boots, and the fifty-year-old man beside him. She figured out two things right off the bat. The kid was in charge here, not the parent, and the kid was trouble.
Mr. Rooney shook hands with Tyler. Unlike his son, he was all grace and warmth. “I’d like you to examine Catastrophe. I thought he was favoring his right front leg during the warm-up, but couldn’t be sure.”
“I told you, Dad. I didn’t feel anything out of the ordinary when I was riding him!” Jimmy Rooney glared at Tyler. “You’ll see. Nothing is wrong with my horse. Nothing that would keep me from racing him tonight anyway.” Jimmy brushed past the other contestants in the barn, and led the way to the stall where his horse was quartered.
With a gentle word to the sleek stallion, Tyler entered the stall and squatted to examine the dark brown quarter horse, with the glossy black mane and tail. “I can feel the heat in this leg.”
Jimmy sent a panicked, angry look at his father. “We’re supposed to compete tonight!” Jimmy turned to Tyler with a haughty glare. “It’s for the area championship.”
Tyler examined the rest of the horse, then settled next to the right front leg once again. As Tyler pressed gently, the horse snorted in response and attempted to push Tyler’s hand away by rubbing his head against his right leg.
Tyler petted Castastrophe, then stood and spoke gently in his ear. The horse calmed under Tyler’s ministering touch.
Tyler turned to Jimmy and his father. “I know this is disappointing, but I advise against racing Catastrophe tonight. His leg needs to be wrapped and iced.”
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