Claiming His Family
Claiming His Family
Barbara Hannay
Erin has agreed to take her little boy to the Outback to meet his father–her ex-husband– whom she hasn't seen for five years.Seeing Luke again, Erin's not sure how she's supposed to act around the man she once loved so deeply. The memories of their marriage come flooding back…the happy times, and the reasons that tore them apart. But now Luke is determined she stay. Can Erin find the courage to give their marriage a second chance–and let them become a family again?
Dear Reader,
When I start to write a book, I set out on a journey with my characters, never quite sure what lies around the corner or whether we’ll safely reach our destination.
I begin each of these adventures with a bunch of what-if questions, knowing that my desired destination is a happy ending for two people who are meant for each other.
But what if my characters have already tried marriage and failed? And what if there is a dearly loved vulnerable child involved? And vast distances? What if this couple have very passionate natures that have caused them to make serious mistakes in the past? What if there has been a complete communication breakdown?
Many of my stories have ended with happy marriages in the Outback, but what if, this time, one of my characters simply cannot face the unrelenting isolation, the hardship and the danger of life in remote Australia? These were the questions I began with when Erin Reilly and her son, Joey, met Luke Manning at Sydney airport.
Together with my characters, I took tentative steps into the mist, and over the weeks that followed this story emerged. I’m pleased to tell you that Erin and Luke proved to me once again that true love can find workable solutions to life’s biggest hurdles. But the process is never easy. It takes courage and compassion—from all of us.
I hope you enjoy their story.
Warmest wishes,
Barbara Hannay
“Erin,” Luke breathed in a husky whisper.
Aching need rose through her, blanking out sensible thoughts. She wanted Luke’s kiss, and her lips parted in breathless readiness.
He drew her into his embrace and his lips brushed her mouth in a tentative tease that sent flames licking deep. And then Luke settled his open mouth on hers and she sank helplessly into him—into his warm, soft, slow kiss.
Five years. Five long years of separation and loneliness. So long she’d waited. Too long.
“Erin,” he whispered again, making her name sound beautiful, mysterious and special.
She lifted her hands to his shoulders and they kissed deeply, tenderly, savoring each other, letting layer upon layer of memory unfold, so that this kiss felt like a part of every kiss they’d ever shared. Sweet. Hungry. Poignant. Fierce.
Everything about Luke felt so right. She’d known from the very first moment she’d seen him that his arms were created to hold her. His lips were designed for hers. How on earth had she lost him?
Claiming His Family
Barbara Hannay
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Barbara Hannay’s first romance novel was published in 1999. She lives in northern Australia, a fascinating and beautiful location that provides a rich setting for many of her books. When she’s not writing, Barbara enjoys refreshing her imagination by traveling with her writer husband to explore exciting new overseas destinations, or to revisit the awe-inspiring mystery of the Australian Outback.
She loves to hear from readers and can be contacted via e-mail at barbara@barbarahannay.com (mailto:barbara@barbarahannay.com). Her Web site is www.barbarahannay.com (http://www.barbarahannay.com).
CONTENTS
CHAPTER ONE (#ud3327e9d-90aa-53d0-9b64-35dff73f2740)
CHAPTER TWO (#u2e20b002-2ac2-5241-bc2e-483048987ef0)
CHAPTER THREE (#uc1b3122e-c43a-573d-a653-a598c8b1aae7)
CHAPTER FOUR (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ELEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ONE
ERIN saw her ex-husband at the exact moment he saw her, at the very instant she emerged from Customs into the International Terminal at Sydney Airport. Their eyes met across the crowded sea of expectant faces, and she felt a jolt so savage she almost stumbled.
Luke Manning looked exactly as she remembered—a man who could never blend into a crowd. Wide-shouldered, long-legged and lean, with dark hair, prominent cheekbones and a mouth that could be brooding or good humoured by turns, Luke retained an air of inner confidence and calm that always set him apart.
But today there was something more. Despite the crowds that jostled him as they waved and called to loved ones, he gave an impression of remoteness, like the vast and lonely Australian Outback he loved.
Even at this distance his grey eyes could freeze her.
Erin drew a sharp breath. For a fleeting moment there had been a spark of excitement in Luke’s eyes, but then, just as suddenly, the light vanished to be replaced with chilling blankness. In the past she’d never seen such coldness in his face, but its appearance now was hardly surprising. What else could she expect? Five years ago she’d walked away from their marriage. She hadn’t seen him since.
Now she felt a flash of panic. Seeing Luke again was even harder than she’d feared.
She’d been schooling herself to feel nothing. Nothing. But all it had taken was that single icy glance from those too-familiar grey eyes and the wounds that were supposed to have healed were ripped open again.
Once again she felt the awful pain. This was what she’d dreaded, why she almost hadn’t come.
A small, impatient hand tugged at hers. ‘You said my dad would be here.’ Joey sounded anxious. ‘Can’t you see him yet?’
‘Yes, sweetheart, he’s here.’
Erin gave Joey’s hand a squeeze, more to reassure herself than her son. She tried to ignore the trembling in her stomach, the unwanted surge of anxiety shooting high, filling her throat.
Around them, the lines of fellow passengers were breaking up as weary travellers were enveloped by welcoming arms. Mere metres away, Luke Manning stood still, waiting.
Erin’s heart thudded. She had to remember that this meeting was not about her. Or Luke. They weren’t here to rake up the past. Neither of them wanted that. Their marriage was a closed book, finished for ever. They were meeting because of their son. This was for Joey, for his future.
She heard a sharp exclamation and felt Joey’s hand slip from hers. He’d seen his father.
Even though Luke wasn’t astride a stock horse or wearing an Akubra hat, he looked so like the photograph on Joey’s nightstand that his son couldn’t fail to recognise him.
‘Hey, Dad!’ Joey shrieked, and began to rush forward, but after three or four steps he stopped, overcome by shyness.
Erin, pushing the loaded luggage cart, tried to catch up with the boy, but she too was gripped by a vexing hesitation. It was like a bad dream where she couldn’t seem to move. She’d come so far, all the way from Manhattan, but these last few steps seemed impossible.
Perhaps she should have accepted her sister’s offer to accompany Joey in her place.
How terrible this was. The three of them were like a still-life tableau—Erin in her trendy New-York black trouser suit, suitably crease-resistant for travelling—Luke, an Outback man in the city, in pale moleskin trousers, a long-sleeved, blue cotton shirt and carefully polished elastic-sided riding boots—and little freckle-nosed, redheaded Joey, staring up at his father as he clutched his favourite possessions in a NewYork Yankees backpack.
They stood there, stiffly silent and awkward in the midst of the busy, bustling airport.
And then they seemed to come to life at once. Luke’s hands came out of his pockets and his mouth quirked into a quarter-smile. With his eyes fixed on Joey, he stepped forward. Erin forced their luggage cart to move once more. Joey hitched his backpack over one shoulder and grinned.
‘Hi, Dad.’ His face was glowing as he looked up at Luke.
‘Hello, Joey.’ Stooping low, Luke offered his right hand and Erin held her breath as she watched the man and the boy greet each other. She felt a leaping sensation in her chest as she saw the deep emotion in Luke’s eyes, the shining pride in Joey’s.
This was such a big moment for Joey—the culmination of months of longing and desperate impatience that had begun last autumn when he’d started school—when he’d suddenly become obsessed by a need to know everything about his father.
Now, as Erin watched, Luke’s eyes seemed to devour the boy. What was he thinking? Was he remembering Joey’s birth and how proud he’d been of his new baby son—how smitten they’d both been?
Was Luke looking for a physical resemblance to himself?
Superficially, Joey looked more like Erin’s family, the Reillys. Both she and Joey had inherited dark red hair from her Irish father and their smallish noses were a Reilly feature too. But already it was clear that Joey was going to be tall like Luke and his high cheekbones were an unmistakable Manning legacy.
And the boy’s eyes were smoky indigo, a true mixture of Erin’s bright blue and Luke’s deep grey.
She wondered if she should break the silence, but it was Joey who rescued the moment.
Shooting Luke a self-conscious grin, her son said, ‘Good day, mate,’ in his best attempt at an Australian accent.
Luke’s face broke into a helpless crooked smile. ‘G’day, little mate.’ His voice sounded choked as his big brown hand ruffled Joey’s buzz cut. Then he tapped the logo on Joey’s backpack. ‘How are the Yankees? Have they had a good season?’
Joey nodded shyly and then Luke looked in Erin’s direction, his eyes bright yet wary.
Smile. She had to look cool and okay about this. Detached. Smile, dammit.
But her lips refused to curve and she was forced to tighten her cheek muscles until her mouth pulled outwards and upwards into a very mechanical grimacing smile.
Luke, on the other hand, didn’t even bother to look pleased to see her. ‘Hello, Erin.’ His gaze was cold again and he spoke through tight lips.
‘Hi, Luke.’ She lifted her right hand, but then let it fall back onto the handle of the baggage cart. Best not to attempt to shake hands—it would be too embarrassing if Luke ignored her.
His jaw clenched, then relaxed. ‘How was the flight?’
She shrugged. ‘Very long.’
He nodded grimly.
Erin switched her attention to Joey, who was standing between them, and she stroked his cheek with her knuckles. ‘This little tiger managed to sleep for eight hours, so he’s ready and raring to go.’
‘That’s great.’
Joey’s eyes shone as he stared up at Luke. ‘Your cattle ranch is humungous, isn’t it, Dad?’
‘It’s big.
‘As big as the whole of Texas?’
‘Don’t be silly, Joey.’ Erin’s voice sounded too tense but it couldn’t be helped. ‘You know it’s not that big.’
‘Well, it’s bigger than Manhattan.’ Joey giggled with the cheerful confidence of a kindergarten kid, not yet required to come to grips with geography.
‘Quite a lot bigger than Manhattan,’ Luke agreed. He turned to Erin. ‘Let me push that cart for you.’
‘It’s okay. I’m managing.’
Overriding her foolishness, he stepped forward and his hand closed around her wrist. Oh, help. What was the matter with her? Did he notice how she almost jumped out of her skin?
For a breathless stretch of time he looked down at her small white hand, trapped by his, so large and brown. The contrast wasn’t merely one of gender and size. The difference between Erin’s sophisticated NewYork manicure and Luke’s work-toughened, calloused palm signalled everything that had been wrong about their union.
‘You’ve had a long flight and you’re tired,’ was all he said as he wrested the cart from her. ‘Let’s go. I’ll take you to the hotel.’
Without another word, he turned abruptly and pushed the cart before him as he marched towards the escalators that led to the car park.
Joey hurried to keep up with Luke and after a small, somewhat weary sigh Erin followed.
‘I wish we could go straight to your ranch, Dad,’ Joey said as the escalator carried them to the floor below.
‘You know that’s not the plan.’ Erin’s tone held a tense warning. ‘I told you Warrapinya is way up north near the top of Australia.’ For Luke’s benefit she added, ‘I’ve explained to him that he’ll be spending a day in Sydney first.’
She’d insisted on this. Heaven knew she wasn’t looking forward to spending time with Luke, but she needed to discuss ground rules with him before he took off into the Outback. And she needed to observe how Luke interacted with Joey. No way was she going to hand her little boy over for two months in Luke Manning’s care unless she was sure they would get along well.
‘Can we fly all the way to your ranch?’ Joey asked Luke.
‘We certainly can.’
They reached the next floor and Luke hurried forward again. Joey was almost running to keep pace with his long stride. ‘Do you really fly your own plane?’ The boy’s voice was squeaky with excitement.
‘Sure do. I’ve just upgraded to a twin engine.’
‘Oh, wow! That’s so neat.’ Joey’s face was a picture of adoration.
Following behind them, Erin gnawed at her lip. It rankled that Luke had acquired a small plane and his pilot’s licence after their marriage broke up. There’d been no planes available when she’d lived on Warrapinya and had desperately needed one.
But it was useless to dwell on what might have been. The marriage between the bride from Manhattan and the boss of Warrapinya had been doomed from the outset and it was only sensible to leave it where it lay. Discarded. Dead and buried.
As they headed out through automatic sliding glass doors and into the parking area Joey’s piping voice and his endless questions added to her tension.
‘Do you drive a pick-up, Dad?’
‘They call pick-up trucks utes in Australia,’ she snapped.
‘Utes?’ Joey pulled a face. ‘That sounds weird.’ Luke grinned at him. ‘We have lots of weird things down here.’
‘Yeah.’ Joey skipped excitedly. ‘Do you have lots of weird animals on your ranch, Dad?’
‘Plenty of roos. And crocs.’
‘Crocs?’ The boy came to an abrupt halt and his face paled visibly. ‘Do you hunt crocodiles?’
Luke looked back over his shoulder and his grey eyes actually twinkled. ‘Not before breakfast.’
‘Joey’s been watching that Australian television show about the crocodile hunter,’ Erin explained.
She didn’t add that he’d had several nightmares involving crocodiles and deadly snakes. Instead she slipped a comforting arm around her son. ‘You’re not too keen on crocodiles, are you, baby?’
Luke came to a stop and he frowned as he watched her fingers rubbing at Joey’s shoulder. For some reason she felt suddenly self-conscious under his scrutiny and her hand grew still. Then she lifted it away and clenched it at her side.
‘I hope you haven’t made him into a sissy,’ Luke said quietly.
‘Of course I haven’t.’ Erin glared at him. ‘That was uncalled for.’
Over Joey’s head, their eyes fought a silent battle. And then there was a barely perceptible nod of Luke’s head before he switched his attention back to the boy. ‘Don’t worry, mate. We’ll keep well away from crocodiles while you’re staying with me.’
They’d stopped near a long silver-grey sedan and, to Erin’s surprise, Luke extracted a key from his pocket and pressed its central locking device.
She’d never seen Luke drive a city car before. Of course, he would have hired the car for the brief time he was in Sydney, but it was silly how little, unimportant things suddenly seemed to take on improbable significance. A sleek, sporty sedan didn’t fit her image of Luke. Her memories of him involved uncomfortable, old and battered dust-covered utes, or sturdy four-wheel drives with clearance so high she’d almost needed a ladder to climb into them.
‘Mom put stars and stripes stickers on our luggage so we could find it,’ Joey commented proudly as Luke began to stow their suitcases into the car’s trunk.
Luke straightened and let his gaze slide sideways to where Erin stood. ‘That’s a good idea,’ he said, looking at her. ‘Your mom’s a very organised lady.’
Something bright—perhaps it was a trick of the light—seemed to flicker in his eyes and Erin felt a sudden need to plough nervous fingers through her hair.
Luke watched her action, his expression faintly worried. He was frowning as he closed the boot, and the frown held as he walked to open the front passenger door and motioned to Erin to take a seat.
Oh, help. The tension between them was suffocating, and it was only going to get worse if she had to sit there beside him.
‘Can I sit in the front with you, Dad?’
For a beat or two Luke didn’t seem to hear Joey, but then, with deliberate effort, he turned to the boy.
‘Can I?’ Joey persisted.
‘You know children should always ride in the back,’ Erin reminded him quickly.
‘Your mother’s right,’ said Luke.
Joey pouted.
‘I’ll sit in the back with you, honey.’ She didn’t look at Luke so she missed his reaction to this. She took Joey’s hand. She loved the touch of his still baby-soft skin and now she wanted to feel it again, to absorb the comfort of his small, warm hand clasping hers. Needing her.
More than ever she needed her son to need her now.
She and Joey had never been separated for more than a day or two, and that had only been when she’d been forced to take a short business trip. On those few occasions she’d left him with her mother, whose apartment was only two blocks away.
The thought of parting with her little boy for two long months was bad enough, but the reality of turning him over to the father he idolised was scary.
Going to Warrapinya would be a thrilling adventure for Joey. The Outback was astonishing, like nothing the boy had ever seen. Just the name Warrapinya stirred Erin, bringing a rush of memories of a unique and dramatic landscape—and good and bad reactions to match—at times a lift to her heart and at others a shudder down her spine.
She’d experienced the best and the worst of times there.
Joey, however, wouldn’t see the problems. He’d love Luke’s ranch. And he’d love Luke, who could be very charming and entertaining when he set his mind to it. She knew that only too well.
But…what if…what if Joey had such a great time with his dad that he didn’t want to come back to her?
Oh, damn. She’d made a vow that she wouldn’t give in to negative thoughts, and already she was letting her insecurities get the better of her. She had to stomp on them. Quickly.
Joey loved her. Erin knew that. She must never doubt it for a moment. They had a wonderful relationship full of love and easygoing warmth and companionship and fun.
Luke, she realised, was watching her again, but this time he’d schooled his features so there was no unsettling flicker and no chilling contempt. His gaze was devoid of emotion as he opened the car’s back door for them.
‘I’ve booked you into a hotel in Woolloomooloo, near the harbour,’ he said as he closed the door, and then he slipped into the driver’s seat and started the car.
It was late afternoon and the peak-hour rush had begun. Heavy, dull winter skies loomed. At home it was summer but down here in Sydney the people on the pavements were bundled inside coats and scarves and hurrying, as if eager to reach home and warmth. The threat of rain hovered, and in this dull light the city, famous for its bright and pretty harbour, looked unwelcoming.
But nothing could cloud Joey’s happiness. From the back seat he leaned forward, straining against his seat belt so he could watch Luke.
Erin closed her eyes and let her head sink back against the luxuriously soft dove-grey leather upholstery. She felt exhausted, exhausted by the whole process of getting here, by the tension of it all, and the long flight followed by the tedious process of collecting their baggage, of making their way through Security, through Immigration and Customs.
Then the ordeal of seeing Luke again.
Oh, God. Without warning her mind flashed back to the last time she’d seen Luke, the day she’d left Warrapinya with Joey screaming in her arms.
It had been horrendous, the very worst thing she’d ever experienced. She’d relived it in her dreams a hundred times and each time she woke to find herself shaking and in tears. Even now she was falling apart just remembering.
She’d stood on the homestead veranda at the top of the front stairs, with her bags packed and tears streaming down her face, waiting for Nails, the Aboriginal odd-job man, who was going to drive her to the nearest airport at Cloncurry.
But, before Nails had arrived, Luke had appeared out of nowhere, charging up on a galloping horse and bearing an enormous bouquet of Outback flowers—golden wattle, red grevillea and purple wildflowers.
‘What’s going on?’ he’d roared when he saw her suitcases.
Over Joey’s cries she’d called back, ‘I can’t take any more of this place. I’m leaving you, Luke. Joey’s sick and you’ve been gone for days and I’ve had enough.’
Luke had leapt from his horse. ‘What’s the matter with Joey?’
‘I don’t know. He just cries all the time and he won’t feed.’
‘I’ll come with you. We’ll take him to the doctor.’
‘No, you don’t understand. It’s too late for you to try to help me now. It’s over, Luke. I’ve had as much as I can take of this place. I’m going home and I’m taking Joey.’
At the time it hadn’t felt like selfishness. She’d been on her own so much and she’d been so distraught about Joey. She’d been a nervous first-time mother and her baby had cried all the time, but the Flying Doctors hadn’t considered her situation an emergency and her husband never seemed to be around. She’d felt she had no one to turn to.
Luke had been stunned. Unable to speak, he’d shoved the flowers at her. ‘But I picked these for you.’
A tremendous heartbroken howl broke from her then as she swiped at his bouquet, making the colourful flowers spill from his hand and tumble down the steps. She’d been hysterical, she realised now, looking back.
‘It’s too late for flowers. There’s no point.’
‘But you can’t leave.’ The horror in Luke’s eyes had almost made her weaken. ‘I don’t understand.’
‘Of course you don’t understand. That’s because you’re never here. All I needed was a little support from you, Luke, but you just make a joke whenever I tell you how worried I am. And you’ve abandoned me here for weeks at a time. You’re always off caring for your cattle. You’ve been gone all week, pulling cows out of bogs. Well, I’m bogged down here, but I’m getting myself out. I’m getting proper care for Joey and I’m not coming back.’
Nails drove up in the ute at that moment. Clutching Joey tightly, Erin fled down the steps and jumped into the front seat and locked the door.
There was been a terrible moment when Nails leaned out of the driver’s window. ‘You want to drive the missus into town, Boss?’
‘No!’ Erin cried. ‘I don’t want him, Nails. Come on, let’s go.’
But Luke wasn’t going to let her go without a fight. ‘Hand over the keys, Nails. I’m taking my son to the doctor.’
Erin actually thought Luke might wrench the door open. ‘You’re too late!’ she cried. ‘Even if you follow me, you can’t make me come back. I won’t stay here.’
Luke glared at her, his eyes almost black with rage and despair. Jerking her head to the front, she stared ahead of her at the dusty track. ‘Start the ute, Nails.’
And then Luke gave in suddenly. He threw her bags into the back of the vehicle and they landed with a heavy thump-thump. Completely bewildered, Nails shrugged, then depressed the accelerator and they left.
She would never forget the harrowing sound of Luke’s angry voice shouting after them…
‘Mommy, what’s the matter?’
Joey was leaning forward, staring at her, and she realised that tears were streaming down her face. She forced a smile. ‘It’s nothing, Joey. I’m okay.’
‘Don’t you like Dad’s car?’
‘Yes, yes, it’s fine. Your dad’s a very good driver. I’m just a little tired.’ She dug in her pocket for a tissue and wiped her eyes.
If only she could fast-forward the next twenty-four hours. She wanted to get this meeting and all that it involved behind her, and then she would be free to go off on her own holiday down under, and she would have nothing more to do with Luke Manning till August.
CHAPTER TWO
THE hotel Luke had booked for them was the height of luxury, much more upmarket than the hotels he’d been able to afford when he and Erin had been married. Overlooking one of the most scenic bays in Sydney Harbour, it was reminiscent of a grand nineteenth century home and furnished with beautiful antiques, oil paintings and fine tapestries.
Erin and Joey had a whole suite, with a sitting room, two separate bedrooms, glamorous bathrooms and French windows opening on to balconies with views across the water.
Joey was round-eyed with delight. ‘Wow!’ he shouted, running to the balcony to admire the busy spectacle of ships and ferries and sailing boats. ‘This place is awesome, Dad.’
‘Where are you staying?’ Erin couldn’t help asking Luke.
‘Across the hall.’
There was a sharp edge to the way he said that and she wondered if his mind had followed the same direction as hers—recalling times in the past when they hadn’t been able to keep their hands off each other, when they couldn’t have borne to be separated by anything as vast as a hallway.
Don’t be pathetic. Don’t think about that.
‘I’m sure you must be tired,’ Luke added.
‘Yes, I am a bit. A bath would be wonderful.’
‘I’ll leave you to settle in.’ He glanced at his wristwatch. ‘You won’t want the ordeal of going to a restaurant this evening. I can organise room service if you like.’ He spoke politely, but without warmth.
Erin found this emotionless, distanced Luke disturbing, almost formidable. She lifted her chin. ‘Thank you, but you don’t have to order for us. I’ll take care of our meals.’
Luke frowned and his jaw clenched momentarily, but then he seemed to deliberately switch his attention to the open doorway of Joey’s room. The little boy had suddenly run out of steam and he lay spread-eagled across the bed with his feet dangling over the edge, showing the soles of his trainers, criss-crossed with deep purple and black treads.
‘Looks like Joey won’t last much longer,’ he said.
‘He’s fading fast. He’s never flown before, so I’m not sure how he’ll handle the jet lag.’
Without warning, Luke looked directly at her again, his grey eyes piercing cold. ‘You said in your email that you had ground rules you wanted to discuss with me.’
‘Oh…’ To her annoyance she felt her cheeks grow hot. ‘Yes, yes I do.’
‘When would suit you?’
‘I—er—I suppose it would be best to talk about them soon.’
‘I could come back this evening perhaps—if Joey goes to sleep early?’
The thought of being alone with Luke, without Joey as a buffer, caused a hitch in her breathing, but it was best to get this over and done with. ‘Okay. Give me an hour or so to get settled. Can you come around seven?’
‘Right.’
As soon as Luke left Erin walked into Joey’s room and he rolled on to his back and smiled up at her, his smoky blue eyes shining from beneath sleep-heavy lids. ‘My dad’s the best, isn’t he, Mom?’
Was she strong enough to face Joey’s rampant enthusiasm? ‘Your dad thinks you’re wonderful,’ she said and she kissed him and sat very still on the edge of his bed, stroking his short, soft hair, aware as she’d been so many times before of the astonishing strength of her love for him.
Joey was the most important person, the most important anything in her life. Securing his happiness was her primary goal—for that she was risking this trip.
But letting him go was so scary. Once he got to know his father, he might never love her as completely or as perfectly as he did now. And she had no idea how Luke was going to react. Her one terror was that he might assume he had a right to reclaim his son.
But she couldn’t allow herself to dwell on that or she would lose the plot completely. She had to take this one step at a time. Most importantly, she had to try to stay calm.
Forty-five minutes.
Erin had been back in Luke’s life for less than an hour and he was a wreck.
In his hotel room he tossed his keys with such force they skimmed across the glassy surface of the bedside table and fell to the floor. He didn’t bother to retrieve them.
He felt like hell.
His plan hadn’t worked.
The plan had been to remain unmoved by the meeting with Erin and Joey. It should have been a cinch.
For the past five years he’d kept his feelings for his wife—his ex-wife—and her son safely locked away, buried deep, impenetrable, behind a walled fortress. He’d known there was no hope of saving his marriage, so he’d sentenced himself to five years’ hard labour with no time off for good behaviour. He’d thrown himself into making Warrapinya the best cattle property in the north-west.
By the time Erin’s letter had arrived, suggesting that he should meet his son, he had been sure he’d conquered his inner demons. He could handle a reunion without raising a sweat.
But at the airport just now, all it had taken was the first glimpse of Erin’s bright autumn hair and her blue-as-heaven eyes and longing had ripped through him like a bullet.
Damn.
Luke marched to the window and stared grimly out without seeing the view. He had to get a grip. Surely he’d learned his lesson? How hard did a guy have to be slugged before he remembered that his marriage had been the biggest mistake of his life?
His shoulders rose and fell as he released a sigh of frustration. Okay, maybe he was never going to stop desiring Erin Reilly, but he was never going to do anything about it either. Erin was a no-go zone. No way was he going to make the same mistakes as last time.
As for the boy…
Luke was less certain about Joey. He had no idea what Erin had told their son about his father, about their marriage, but he’d been expecting the kid to see him as the bad guy. Joey’s eagerness and excitement had knocked Luke for six. He didn’t deserve his son’s adoration, but it was there, shining in the boy’s eyes.
Another very good reason to pull himself together.
Luke turned and caught his reflection in the mirror. He looked a shocker—face like dropped meat pie.
He forced a half-hearted smile. ‘Cheer up, mate. Your ex might find you as appealing as a black snake in a sleeping bag, but your son thinks you’re the duck’s pyjamas.’
Erin should have been well prepared and calm when Luke strode back through her doorway an hour later, but she wasn’t any kind of calm, and she had no one but herself to blame.
Too late, she’d realised that she’d spent far too long in the bath, and then she’d had to rush the business of blow-drying her hair and selecting something to wear.
When she heard Luke’s knock, precisely on time, calmness wasn’t even in the ballpark. Her short dark red hair was still damp and spiky and she’d had no time for make-up. Damn. She hadn’t wanted to look dolled up, as if she was trying to impress the man, but she’d wanted, at the very least, to use some concealer to hide the traveller’s puffy shadows under her eyes.
‘Just a minute,’ she called, angry with herself for not being ready and angry with Luke for being exactly on time. She snatched up her perfume. And then smacked it down again. It was Lost, the deeply sweet and sensual scent she always wore. In the days of their courtship and marriage Luke had been crazy about it. Perhaps it wasn’t wise to wear it tonight.
There was another sharp tattoo on her door. It sounded impatient. Bossy.
Annoyed, Erin grabbed the bottle again and squirted the perfume at her neck, at her wrists and into the V of her sweater. And then, without bothering to hunt for her shoes, she hurried to answer the door.
‘I thought you must have fallen asleep,’ Luke said dryly.
‘Is that why you were banging so loudly?’
‘I wasn’t banging.’ A sudden flash of irritation sparked in his cool eyes.
Oh, God. No doubt Luke was on edge too. And they were fighting. Already.
Erin back-pedalled. ‘I almost nodded off in the bath, but I’d say I’m good for another hour, tops.’
‘I don’t suppose our business will take very long.’
‘No, I guess not.’ She waved a hand in the direction of the armchairs arranged around an elegant polished timber coffee table. ‘Would you like coffee?’
‘Not unless you’d like some.’
‘I’m fine.’
They sat. Erin crossed her legs, but her bare feet and painted toenails seemed too—naked—and she wished she’d put shoes on. She uncrossed her legs again and tried, unsuccessfully, to tuck her feet out of sight. Luke settled comfortably with the ankle of one long leg balanced easily on the knee of the other.
It was daunting to be alone with him again after five long years. Everything about him was so familiar, and yet strange. There were changes too. He’d lost a little weight and gained a few lines. Resistance and stealthy watchfulness had replaced his easy good humour and ready smile.
His cool gaze slid over her, taking in her kitten-soft white cashmere sweater and sleek black Capri trousers—carelessly comfortable, elegant garments that she couldn’t have afforded when they’d met seven years ago.
‘No jewellery this evening,’ he commented.
Surprised that he’d noticed, she lifted ringless hands to touch her bare throat and to finger her empty ear lobes. ‘Too close to bedtime to bother.’ Besides, there’s no one I need to impress.
Watching her carefully, he hitched a casual arm over the back of his chair. ‘So, how are things, Erin? How’s your business?’
‘Things are fine. My business is doing really well.’
‘You’re still in partnership with your sister?’
‘Yes. And we’ve expanded. Angie and I still do all the designs, but we’ve taken on more staff to make most of our jewellery for us.’
It felt good to tell Luke that, to let him see that although she’d made a mess of her personal life, she was proud of her business success. ‘Actually, we’ve just signed a contract with Candia Hart. Have you heard of her? She’s one of the new big stars in Australian fashion design. She loves our stuff, and I’m meeting her here in Sydney to plan accessories for her show in NewYork next spring.’
Luke looked appropriately impressed. ‘You’ll be opening a shop on Fifth Avenue in no time.’
‘You never know. We just might.’
‘I had no idea there was such a high demand for coloured pencils threaded on string.’
Schmuck. Erin narrowed her eyes and waited for him to redeem himself with even the hint of a smile. In the past Luke’s dry sense of humour had been one of his charms, but this evening there was no sign of it.
‘We’ve expanded our repertoire,’ she said tightly and then she lifted one hand in a sweeping flourish that took in the suite of rooms. ‘Looks like your cattle business is doing well too. You’re staying in five-star hotels these days, and buying twin-engine aeroplanes.’
He nodded, but offered no further comment. Instead he said, ‘About these ground rules of yours.’
‘Right.’ Erin let out her breath with a nervous huff. ‘I don’t suppose they’re rules exactly. Mostly, I wanted to fill you in a little. It’s important we’re both on the same page with the way we handle Joey.’
She paused then, hoping Luke might make a favourable comment about their son, about what a fine little guy he was, but he simply nodded grimly. His cool stare was a distinct challenge, but she was determined not to let him upset her.
‘Fire away,’ he said.
‘Okay.’ She pressed her lips together, and then released her breath again slowly. ‘You’ll get to know Joey better tomorrow, but I’m sure you’ve already noticed that he asks lots of questions.’
He nodded without smiling.
‘You’ll need to be prepared for that. Once you take him to Warrapinya he’s bound to bombard you with questions—especially about—about us.’
‘What about us?’
‘About why we split up.’ Lowering her gaze, she traced the pattern of tapestry leaves on the upholstered arm of her chair. ‘I’m afraid he asks that question rather a lot—the same question over and over.’
‘Why would he need to do that?’ Luke asked sharply. ‘Haven’t you been able to give him a satisfactory answer?’
‘I—I believe I have. I’ve certainly done my best.’
‘But he keeps on asking—wanting to know why we spilt up?’
‘Yes. He does it partly to learn, I guess, to understand. But I think he’s also checking that the answer stays the same.’ She hurried on nervously. ‘He can ask the most difficult questions at the most inconvenient moments. It always seems to happen to me when I’m standing in the supermarket line, or when I’m dropping him off at school.’ And then, because Luke was looking at her with such clear dislike, she added, ‘Or just as I’m about to go out and my date’s standing on the doorstep.’
Luke’s jaw stiffened and Erin felt a flicker of triumph, but then, as a dark stain tinged his neck, she almost wished she could take back that last cheap shot. She wanted her role in this meeting to be very mature, very civilised.
Shifting his weight slightly, Luke sat a little straighter and crossed his arms over his chest. ‘Okay, so what is the answer, Erin?’ He asked this very quietly, but the question seemed to reverberate around the room. ‘What do you tell the boy about why we split up?’
An uncomfortable pulse beat at the base of her throat. ‘I—I tell him the truth—that we weren’t able to live together.’
‘I see.’ He stared at her. ‘Is that all you’ve told him?’
‘Pretty much. I’ve been careful never to criticise you, Luke.’
‘Am I supposed to be grateful?’
Her teeth ground together and she took a deep breath, trying for an impossible calm. ‘When Joey asks why we can’t be a family, I remind him about what his teacher told the class—about all the different kinds of families there are.’
Luke frowned. ‘For example?’
Was he being deliberately obtuse?
‘Come on, Luke, you know as well as I do how many single and blended families there are these days. In America there are more children in those kinds of families than there are in families with both biological parents.’
‘I’m sure that must be immensely reassuring for Joey.’
Sighing loudly, Erin thumped the arm of her chair. ‘It’s a fact of life.’
He sat very still, watching her.
‘The important thing to remember is that Joey needs reassurance from both of us that we love him, that we’re going to keep on loving him even though we’re separated—even though—’
‘Even though his parents don’t love each other,’ Luke said, finishing the sentence in a voice as dry as moon dust.
Erin felt as if she couldn’t breathe. ‘Yes,’ she managed at last.
There was another terrible silence while they both stared at the floor.
‘I suppose Joey must worry that you’ll leave him too.’
Her head shot up. ‘No. He knows that’s impossible.’
‘Does he?’ Luke’s glance was sharp and hard. ‘We were a family once. Joey’s old enough to realise that you must have loved me once, but that didn’t stop you from leaving.’
She leapt to her feet, needing to defend herself, to swipe that stony accusation from Luke’s eyes. But she was trapped by his ruthless gaze—like an escaping prisoner caught in a searchlight’s beam, her guilt exposed. ‘That’s unfair and you know it.’
‘It’s plain logic, Erin. You said Joey’s a smart kid. Smart kids worry. I’m just trying to see how the boy might view this.’
‘Okay, I’ll tell you how he views this. He loves me. I—I’ve been a good mom to him. I’ve been better than that. I’ve been great.’
‘I don’t think that’s in question.’
‘And he idolises you. I might be his mother, but you’re his hero, Luke. He’s got you on such a high pedestal you’ll need a parachute to get down.’
Taken aback, Luke scratched the back of his neck. ‘How did that happen?’
Erin shrugged. She was too tired and emotional to try to analyse the complexities of the absent father scenario now. ‘Look,’ she said. ‘I’ve never said a word against you to Joey, and I need you to promise that you won’t tell him things that will turn him against me.’
‘Of course. I promise you have my word on that.’
She blinked hard as her eyes filled with sudden tears. ‘Joey knows he’ll be going back to New York with me at the end of this holiday.’
Luke made no comment.
‘And—’ She gulped; her throat had constricted over a knot of pain. ‘I’ve made it very clear to him that there’s no chance of us becoming a family again.’
‘I see.’ Luke stood abruptly and looked down at her from his too impressive height.
If only she’d put shoes on. Her bare feet were sinking into the deep pile of the carpet and, beside Luke, she felt too short. ‘There’s one last thing that’s very important,’ she said.
The line of his mouth tightened. ‘What’s that?’
‘I want you to promise that you’ll take really good care of Joey.’
Unexpected fury darkened his face. ‘Of course I’ll take bloody good care of him. How can you even ask that?’
‘Who’s going to look after Joey while you’re off mending fences or shifting cattle?’
‘I’ll be with him all the time.’
‘But—’
‘My cousin is managing Warrapinya these days.’
‘Really? I didn’t even know you had a cousin.’
‘Keith and his wife used to live on a station way out the back of Lake Nash, but these days Keith looks after the running of our place, so I’ll be free to spend time with Joey.’
Erin stared at him, shocked. Luke’s prolonged absences while he attended to the thousand and one jobs needed to run Warrapinya had been a major cause of their break-up.
When she’d lived on Warrapinya it hadn’t mattered how many employees Luke had—jackaroos, ringers or cooks—Luke had held himself responsible. He was the boss and the boss always went mustering, was always there for the tough work, the dirty work like fencing, dam building, branding, or breaking in horses. He’d maintained that he should take on the dangerous tasks rather than a worker.
If there was a wild scrub bull to be caught, it was the boss who led the way. Once a windmill’s blades had gone berserk in a gale and the entire top threatened to tear off. Nails, the station handyman, had been going to climb up and disconnect the sails, but Luke had insisted on attending to it.
He’d claimed that running Warrapinya was more than a hands-on job. It was a hearts-on job.
Now it was beyond disconcerting to hear that in five short years Luke had delegated someone else to run Warrapinya for him. Joey would have his father’s undivided attention. She should have been pleased, but instead she was fighting anger and hurt. ‘I—I couldn’t bear it if anything happened to Joey,’ she said quickly.
‘What’s going to happen? What the hell are you talking about?’
‘The Outback’s so dangerous.’
With a groan, Luke flung back his head and stared at the ceiling. When he looked at her again, his eyes were blistering. ‘You haven’t filled Joey’s head with that kind of bull, have you?’
‘No.’
‘I suppose you’ve told him that’s why you left—because you were terrified of the Outback?’
‘No!’
Jaw jutting belligerently, he stared at the toe of his riding boot and then flicked his gaze back to her. ‘But that was it, wasn’t it, Erin? It wasn’t so much that we couldn’t live together as that you couldn’t live in the bush.’
There was no point in having this conversation. It was ancient history; their divorce was a fait accompli.
When Erin refused to answer, Luke took an intimidating step towards her.
With her shoulders braced, she said, ‘You know it wasn’t just that.’
‘Okay…just to refresh my memory…what exactly was our problem?’
‘For heaven’s sake, it’s not worth dragging that up now.’
‘Come on, Erin, you can do better than that.’
‘How can you ask now? It’s too late.’ Through clenched teeth, she added, ‘It’s five years too late.’
‘I couldn’t ask you five years ago. You ran away.’
‘You didn’t try to contact me after I left, Luke. You could have asked questions then.’ Shaking with a deluge of anger and despair, she felt tears stand in her eyes. ‘When I left Warrapinya, you yelled after me to go to hell. ‘Good riddance’, you yelled. And then, you never once tried to telephone me. There wasn’t a word, Luke. You knew Joey was sick, but you never rang to find out how he was. Not once. You didn’t want to know.’
Until she’d written to Luke to request a meeting with Joey he’d been silent. For five years he’d worn his stubborn pride like a badge of courage. The only contact had been via his lawyer and his accountant who supervised the regular deposits into her bank account for Joey’s maintenance.
Now Luke stood facing her, his eyes bright with fury. A muscle clenched near his jaw line, but then he shook his head slowly. ‘You’re right,’ he said. ‘You’re tired and jet lagged and this is the wrong time to try to discuss this.’
Without another word, he turned and strode quickly out of the room.
The door closed behind him and an angry sob rose in Erin’s throat. She might have given way to tears, but there was a sound behind her and she turned to find Joey standing in the doorway of his bedroom, squinting into the light.
‘Oh, sweetie,’ she cried, arms outstretched as she hurried to him. ‘Did we wake you?’
‘You were shouting.’
‘Shouting?’
‘You and—and Dad.’ He peered up at her and looked frightened. ‘Are you crying, Mom?’
‘No.’ Hastily, she pulled Joey to her with a one-armed hug while she sniffed and used her other hand to swipe at her eyes. She kissed the top of his head. ‘Your dad and I were just talking. Sorry if we got a little loud.’
‘You sounded mad.’ Joey looked past her. ‘Where’s Dad now?’
‘He’s gone back to his room.’
‘Why?’
‘Because—because he needs to sleep. And so do I. So do you.’
‘I’m not tired any more.’
Erin’s heart sank to the floor. She was emotionally wrung out and dead on her feet. She couldn’t bear it if Joey was wakeful now.
‘I’ll get room service to bring us some hot chocolate and something to eat,’ she said. ‘We’ll have it together in my big bed and then you can snuggle up with me.’
The boy’s bottom lip protruded as he thought about this. ‘What can we have to eat?’
‘What would you like?’
‘Pancakes?’
‘Pancakes at this hour?’ Two seconds later, she shrugged. ‘Why not? I’m sure the hotel can fix them for us. And then the sooner you get to sleep the sooner you’ll see your dad in the morning.’
She was rewarded with a huge grin.
What exactly was our problem?
Why, Luke wondered, had he asked Erin that? After all, he’d had five years to come up with his own answers. He’d worked out exactly why their marriage had ended.
At the time, he hadn’t seen it coming. There’d been no lead up. No storm warning.
It was only later that he’d understood that he should have taken Erin’s concerns seriously. When she’d fretted about the baby he’d tried to jolly her out of it, had told her she worried too much.
When she’d got mad with him for spending too much time away working with cattle he hadn’t tried to explain the pressures of running the property, he’d simply tried to shrug and crack a joke. Which had been pretty damn thoughtless. But he hated conflict.
If there had been a problem—a little bickering—he’d tended to say, ‘Let’s forget it and have a cuddle.’ Erin, on the other hand, was a bit of a terrier. She was an up-front person. She wanted to push an issue through to the bitter end.
But tonight he’d been the terrier pushing her, goading her. Why the hell couldn’t he stay calm and play this game her way? Their marriage was over.
Why was that so hard to remember?
What exactly was our problem?
Erin lay staring at the ceiling, desperate for sleep, while Luke’s question echoed in her head.
How could Luke pretend not to know the answer? Their problem had been clear as day. Right from the start it had been there in letters ten feet high for everyone to see—everyone, that was, except the two of them, blinded by foolish, foolish passion.
Luke’s parents and the Mannings’ neighbours and the ranch hands—they had all known that Luke’s Yankee bride was wrong for him. Her taste in clothes, her accent, her complexion, her attitude—everything was wrong.
The people at Warrapinya were friendly enough, but they had shown Erin, with varying degrees of subtlety, that she didn’t fit in. Even the contract fencing team, who had spent a few weeks on the property repairing barbed wire fences, had looked at her with puzzled smiles and she knew they’d joked about her behind her back.
Even so, she felt so terribly, terribly guilty because the things that had ended their marriage were so small really. Luke hadn’t gambled or drunk excessively or beaten her. But the little problems had snowballed till they loomed too large.
And that had been before Joey was born and her real problems started.
Everything had become completely clear once she had been safely back in NewYork. How could she ever have been so idiotic as to think she could live anywhere else?
CHAPTER THREE
THE scratch of a key turning in a lock woke Erin, but although she heard the sound quite distinctly she felt too drugged by sleep to respond.
She lay very still, drifting slowly up and up from the murky depths of deep slumber, aware of sounds…the rattle of the door opening and the thud of it closing. Then silence. Lovely. She could sink back into the mattress. She could…
Her eyes flashed open. Something was wrong. The silence was wrong. Was someone tiptoeing about in her room? An intruder?
Squinting through semi-darkness she saw unfamiliar furniture. The windows were covered by heavy curtains, but glimmers at either ends of the fabric indicated dazzling daylight outside.
Then she heard a loud whisper. ‘Do you think she’s awake yet?’
Joey.
Erin lurched upright, her heart racing as she remembered she was in a hotel in Sydney. How long had she slept? Oh, God, how long had Joey been awake? What had he been doing? Who was he talking to?
She flung the bedclothes aside just as two figures appeared at the door to her bedroom, one very tall, the other small.
‘Mommy, you’re awake!’ A small, Joey-shaped torpedo launched across the carpet towards her. ‘You’ve been asleep all day.’
‘All day? I can’t have.’
‘Only half a day.’ Luke’s voice came from the doorway. ‘It’s just gone noon.’
Noon. Erin groaned. This day was the last time she had with Joey before he left for North Queensland. And she’d wasted half of it. Why hadn’t she factored jet lag into her planning?
‘We’ve already had breakfast and lunch,’ Joey announced. ‘’Cause I was starving.’ With a happy grin, he threw himself beside her on the bed. His cheeks glowed pink, as if he’d been running and playing outdoors. ‘Guess what we had for lunch?’
Erin was super-aware of Luke watching from the doorway. Joey was sitting on top of the sheets so she couldn’t use them to cover her bare legs. She tried to pull her yellow silk nightdress higher to cover the tops of her breasts. She hated to think how her hair must look. It would be a fright. She focused on Joey. ‘I give up. What did you have for lunch?’
‘Fish and chips,’ he exclaimed excitedly. ‘Dad and me had a picnic down near the water. We had these hot and crunchy pieces of fish with salty French fries and they were all wrapped up in paper.’
‘Wow, that sounds…neat.’
‘It was. It was excellent. And I fed some seagulls with little bits of my fish. And Dad and me had a soda too.’
With one hand holding her nightdress against her chest, Erin looked from her son to Luke. His eyes were bright and a smile lurked. She sensed a light-heartedness about him that she hadn’t seen yesterday and she felt a perverse need to dampen it. ‘You shouldn’t have let me sleep in,’ she accused.
‘You were dead to the world.’
The happy light in his eyes flustered her and she switched her attention back to Joey. ‘So how did all this happen? When did you wake up?’
Joey shrugged. ‘I heard Dad knocking on the door, so I opened it and let him in. And then Dad gave you a shake.’
‘He what?’
Heat suffused her as she pictured what must have happened—Luke approaching her bed, leaning over her, touching her while she slept. Once more she flicked a hasty glance his way. He was still standing in the doorway, one shoulder resting casually against the frame, and she was annoyed to see a hint of amusement lurking in the depths of his smoky eyes.
Joey must have sensed her tension and he frowned. ‘It was just a little shake, Mommy, but you didn’t move. So Dad said we should leave you to sleep. He helped me to find some clothes and he wrote you a note and then we went out for breakfast.’
A note? It was then that Erin saw the page of hotel stationery on her nightstand and a message in Luke’s sharp, spiky handwriting.
‘So the two of you have spent the whole morning together,’ she said. ‘I guess I should thank you, Luke.’
‘Are you going to get up now?’ prompted Joey. ‘Dad said if you want, we can go to Taronga Park zoo.’
‘Only if you’re interested,’ added Luke quickly.
Joey bounced excitedly, making the mattress rock beneath Erin. ‘You want to go, don’t you, Mommy? Dad said the zoo’s on the other side of the harbour and we can get there on a ferry.’
Dad said, Dad said. Clearly Joey’s adoration of Luke wasn’t going to wane any time soon.
‘You’ll have to give me time to take a shower.’
‘And you’ll need coffee and something to eat,’ added Luke, but his words were almost drowned out by Joey’s cheers. ‘Can I order something for you?’
Of course she said yes. She said yes to everything. There was no way she was going to let her dissent spoil this last afternoon with Joey. She even acquiesced when, as they left the hotel, Joey insisted on walking between them, holding her hand and Luke’s as if the three of them were a regular family.
It was a beautiful day. As they boarded the bus bound for Circular Quay, Erin saw that yesterday’s dull, threatening weather had cleared. The air was crisp and sparkling, the sky was a clean, bright blue and the sunshine had turned Sydney Harbour into a dazzling sea of sapphires. Although there was a nip in the air and they needed warm jackets, it was hard to remember that it was winter.
Joey found everything thrilling—even lining up to buy ferry tickets—and his happiness and excitement were catching. By the time the boat pulled away from the dock, Erin felt more at ease than she had in weeks. Perhaps, for one afternoon, she could keep her mind free from anxiety. She could aim to be as innocent and carefree as Joey.
Luke was in a better mood too, so perhaps they could all relax. She decided to try very hard. She would live in the moment and immerse herself in the simple enjoyment of the sunshine, the sparkling harbour and the freshness of the salty breeze skimming across the water.
For just one afternoon, they could all pretend that everything was okay.
It was a nice theory.
It couldn’t work, of course.
The happy-family charade was too fragile to withstand the test of an entire afternoon. Minute by minute—while Erin and Luke laughed at the antics of the monkeys, while they waved to Joey as he rode an elephant on a merry-go-round, while they shared his admiration of the lions and tigers and his amusement over the cute little meerkats—the tension between them mounted.
Whenever Joey let go of their hands and danced ahead of them, Erin walked carefully apart from Luke, taking excessive pains not to touch him or bump him. And they were both excruciatingly careful to pay attention to Joey and to show an intense fascination with the animals on display. They took the same care to pay little or no attention to each other.
And gradually the light-hearted glimmer in Luke’s eyes dimmed and Erin’s smile became more strained.
If Joey noticed their apprehension he didn’t let on. This afternoon was too important to him. For the first time he could remember he had both his parents together. He was living his dream and it was almost as if he were willing Erin and Luke to be on their best behaviour so they couldn’t spoil his happiness.
And Erin and Luke were managing tolerably well. On the surface. Things deteriorated when they reached the kangaroos.
Kangaroos were so bizarre, Erin thought, with their soft, pretty faces, their tiny front paws and then their absurdly long back legs. Bizarre, but very cute. She pointed out a sweet little baby in its mother’s pouch.
Joey was entranced. He clung to the wire with his face pressed against it as he watched the baby kangaroo’s little black eyes, pointed nose and ears peeping out from a furry pocket on its mother’s abdomen.
‘Did you know that baby kangaroos are called joeys?’ Luke asked him.
Joey pulled back from the wire to stare up at them with excited delight. ‘Is that why you guys called me Joey, ’cause I’m your baby?’
‘Well…not exactly,’ Erin began and then she winced. Why had she chosen this moment to become pedantic?
Joey waited expectantly for further explanation.
‘Your name’s short for Joseph,’ she said. ‘You were named after your grandfather.’
‘After Grandpa Reilly?’
‘No, your other grandfather.’ Erin glanced towards Luke and a nervous tremble rippled through her as she watched a muscle twitch near his jaw. ‘His name was Joseph too,’ she said. ‘He was Joseph Manning—just like you.’
‘The first Joseph Manning was my dad,’ Luke explained. ‘We called you Joseph Peter. Joseph after my father and Peter after Peter Reilly, your mother’s father.’
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Barbara Hannay
Erin has agreed to take her little boy to the Outback to meet his father–her ex-husband– whom she hasn't seen for five years.Seeing Luke again, Erin's not sure how she's supposed to act around the man she once loved so deeply. The memories of their marriage come flooding back…the happy times, and the reasons that tore them apart. But now Luke is determined she stay. Can Erin find the courage to give their marriage a second chance–and let them become a family again?
Dear Reader,
When I start to write a book, I set out on a journey with my characters, never quite sure what lies around the corner or whether we’ll safely reach our destination.
I begin each of these adventures with a bunch of what-if questions, knowing that my desired destination is a happy ending for two people who are meant for each other.
But what if my characters have already tried marriage and failed? And what if there is a dearly loved vulnerable child involved? And vast distances? What if this couple have very passionate natures that have caused them to make serious mistakes in the past? What if there has been a complete communication breakdown?
Many of my stories have ended with happy marriages in the Outback, but what if, this time, one of my characters simply cannot face the unrelenting isolation, the hardship and the danger of life in remote Australia? These were the questions I began with when Erin Reilly and her son, Joey, met Luke Manning at Sydney airport.
Together with my characters, I took tentative steps into the mist, and over the weeks that followed this story emerged. I’m pleased to tell you that Erin and Luke proved to me once again that true love can find workable solutions to life’s biggest hurdles. But the process is never easy. It takes courage and compassion—from all of us.
I hope you enjoy their story.
Warmest wishes,
Barbara Hannay
“Erin,” Luke breathed in a husky whisper.
Aching need rose through her, blanking out sensible thoughts. She wanted Luke’s kiss, and her lips parted in breathless readiness.
He drew her into his embrace and his lips brushed her mouth in a tentative tease that sent flames licking deep. And then Luke settled his open mouth on hers and she sank helplessly into him—into his warm, soft, slow kiss.
Five years. Five long years of separation and loneliness. So long she’d waited. Too long.
“Erin,” he whispered again, making her name sound beautiful, mysterious and special.
She lifted her hands to his shoulders and they kissed deeply, tenderly, savoring each other, letting layer upon layer of memory unfold, so that this kiss felt like a part of every kiss they’d ever shared. Sweet. Hungry. Poignant. Fierce.
Everything about Luke felt so right. She’d known from the very first moment she’d seen him that his arms were created to hold her. His lips were designed for hers. How on earth had she lost him?
Claiming His Family
Barbara Hannay
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Barbara Hannay’s first romance novel was published in 1999. She lives in northern Australia, a fascinating and beautiful location that provides a rich setting for many of her books. When she’s not writing, Barbara enjoys refreshing her imagination by traveling with her writer husband to explore exciting new overseas destinations, or to revisit the awe-inspiring mystery of the Australian Outback.
She loves to hear from readers and can be contacted via e-mail at barbara@barbarahannay.com (mailto:barbara@barbarahannay.com). Her Web site is www.barbarahannay.com (http://www.barbarahannay.com).
CONTENTS
CHAPTER ONE (#ud3327e9d-90aa-53d0-9b64-35dff73f2740)
CHAPTER TWO (#u2e20b002-2ac2-5241-bc2e-483048987ef0)
CHAPTER THREE (#uc1b3122e-c43a-573d-a653-a598c8b1aae7)
CHAPTER FOUR (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ELEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ONE
ERIN saw her ex-husband at the exact moment he saw her, at the very instant she emerged from Customs into the International Terminal at Sydney Airport. Their eyes met across the crowded sea of expectant faces, and she felt a jolt so savage she almost stumbled.
Luke Manning looked exactly as she remembered—a man who could never blend into a crowd. Wide-shouldered, long-legged and lean, with dark hair, prominent cheekbones and a mouth that could be brooding or good humoured by turns, Luke retained an air of inner confidence and calm that always set him apart.
But today there was something more. Despite the crowds that jostled him as they waved and called to loved ones, he gave an impression of remoteness, like the vast and lonely Australian Outback he loved.
Even at this distance his grey eyes could freeze her.
Erin drew a sharp breath. For a fleeting moment there had been a spark of excitement in Luke’s eyes, but then, just as suddenly, the light vanished to be replaced with chilling blankness. In the past she’d never seen such coldness in his face, but its appearance now was hardly surprising. What else could she expect? Five years ago she’d walked away from their marriage. She hadn’t seen him since.
Now she felt a flash of panic. Seeing Luke again was even harder than she’d feared.
She’d been schooling herself to feel nothing. Nothing. But all it had taken was that single icy glance from those too-familiar grey eyes and the wounds that were supposed to have healed were ripped open again.
Once again she felt the awful pain. This was what she’d dreaded, why she almost hadn’t come.
A small, impatient hand tugged at hers. ‘You said my dad would be here.’ Joey sounded anxious. ‘Can’t you see him yet?’
‘Yes, sweetheart, he’s here.’
Erin gave Joey’s hand a squeeze, more to reassure herself than her son. She tried to ignore the trembling in her stomach, the unwanted surge of anxiety shooting high, filling her throat.
Around them, the lines of fellow passengers were breaking up as weary travellers were enveloped by welcoming arms. Mere metres away, Luke Manning stood still, waiting.
Erin’s heart thudded. She had to remember that this meeting was not about her. Or Luke. They weren’t here to rake up the past. Neither of them wanted that. Their marriage was a closed book, finished for ever. They were meeting because of their son. This was for Joey, for his future.
She heard a sharp exclamation and felt Joey’s hand slip from hers. He’d seen his father.
Even though Luke wasn’t astride a stock horse or wearing an Akubra hat, he looked so like the photograph on Joey’s nightstand that his son couldn’t fail to recognise him.
‘Hey, Dad!’ Joey shrieked, and began to rush forward, but after three or four steps he stopped, overcome by shyness.
Erin, pushing the loaded luggage cart, tried to catch up with the boy, but she too was gripped by a vexing hesitation. It was like a bad dream where she couldn’t seem to move. She’d come so far, all the way from Manhattan, but these last few steps seemed impossible.
Perhaps she should have accepted her sister’s offer to accompany Joey in her place.
How terrible this was. The three of them were like a still-life tableau—Erin in her trendy New-York black trouser suit, suitably crease-resistant for travelling—Luke, an Outback man in the city, in pale moleskin trousers, a long-sleeved, blue cotton shirt and carefully polished elastic-sided riding boots—and little freckle-nosed, redheaded Joey, staring up at his father as he clutched his favourite possessions in a NewYork Yankees backpack.
They stood there, stiffly silent and awkward in the midst of the busy, bustling airport.
And then they seemed to come to life at once. Luke’s hands came out of his pockets and his mouth quirked into a quarter-smile. With his eyes fixed on Joey, he stepped forward. Erin forced their luggage cart to move once more. Joey hitched his backpack over one shoulder and grinned.
‘Hi, Dad.’ His face was glowing as he looked up at Luke.
‘Hello, Joey.’ Stooping low, Luke offered his right hand and Erin held her breath as she watched the man and the boy greet each other. She felt a leaping sensation in her chest as she saw the deep emotion in Luke’s eyes, the shining pride in Joey’s.
This was such a big moment for Joey—the culmination of months of longing and desperate impatience that had begun last autumn when he’d started school—when he’d suddenly become obsessed by a need to know everything about his father.
Now, as Erin watched, Luke’s eyes seemed to devour the boy. What was he thinking? Was he remembering Joey’s birth and how proud he’d been of his new baby son—how smitten they’d both been?
Was Luke looking for a physical resemblance to himself?
Superficially, Joey looked more like Erin’s family, the Reillys. Both she and Joey had inherited dark red hair from her Irish father and their smallish noses were a Reilly feature too. But already it was clear that Joey was going to be tall like Luke and his high cheekbones were an unmistakable Manning legacy.
And the boy’s eyes were smoky indigo, a true mixture of Erin’s bright blue and Luke’s deep grey.
She wondered if she should break the silence, but it was Joey who rescued the moment.
Shooting Luke a self-conscious grin, her son said, ‘Good day, mate,’ in his best attempt at an Australian accent.
Luke’s face broke into a helpless crooked smile. ‘G’day, little mate.’ His voice sounded choked as his big brown hand ruffled Joey’s buzz cut. Then he tapped the logo on Joey’s backpack. ‘How are the Yankees? Have they had a good season?’
Joey nodded shyly and then Luke looked in Erin’s direction, his eyes bright yet wary.
Smile. She had to look cool and okay about this. Detached. Smile, dammit.
But her lips refused to curve and she was forced to tighten her cheek muscles until her mouth pulled outwards and upwards into a very mechanical grimacing smile.
Luke, on the other hand, didn’t even bother to look pleased to see her. ‘Hello, Erin.’ His gaze was cold again and he spoke through tight lips.
‘Hi, Luke.’ She lifted her right hand, but then let it fall back onto the handle of the baggage cart. Best not to attempt to shake hands—it would be too embarrassing if Luke ignored her.
His jaw clenched, then relaxed. ‘How was the flight?’
She shrugged. ‘Very long.’
He nodded grimly.
Erin switched her attention to Joey, who was standing between them, and she stroked his cheek with her knuckles. ‘This little tiger managed to sleep for eight hours, so he’s ready and raring to go.’
‘That’s great.’
Joey’s eyes shone as he stared up at Luke. ‘Your cattle ranch is humungous, isn’t it, Dad?’
‘It’s big.
‘As big as the whole of Texas?’
‘Don’t be silly, Joey.’ Erin’s voice sounded too tense but it couldn’t be helped. ‘You know it’s not that big.’
‘Well, it’s bigger than Manhattan.’ Joey giggled with the cheerful confidence of a kindergarten kid, not yet required to come to grips with geography.
‘Quite a lot bigger than Manhattan,’ Luke agreed. He turned to Erin. ‘Let me push that cart for you.’
‘It’s okay. I’m managing.’
Overriding her foolishness, he stepped forward and his hand closed around her wrist. Oh, help. What was the matter with her? Did he notice how she almost jumped out of her skin?
For a breathless stretch of time he looked down at her small white hand, trapped by his, so large and brown. The contrast wasn’t merely one of gender and size. The difference between Erin’s sophisticated NewYork manicure and Luke’s work-toughened, calloused palm signalled everything that had been wrong about their union.
‘You’ve had a long flight and you’re tired,’ was all he said as he wrested the cart from her. ‘Let’s go. I’ll take you to the hotel.’
Without another word, he turned abruptly and pushed the cart before him as he marched towards the escalators that led to the car park.
Joey hurried to keep up with Luke and after a small, somewhat weary sigh Erin followed.
‘I wish we could go straight to your ranch, Dad,’ Joey said as the escalator carried them to the floor below.
‘You know that’s not the plan.’ Erin’s tone held a tense warning. ‘I told you Warrapinya is way up north near the top of Australia.’ For Luke’s benefit she added, ‘I’ve explained to him that he’ll be spending a day in Sydney first.’
She’d insisted on this. Heaven knew she wasn’t looking forward to spending time with Luke, but she needed to discuss ground rules with him before he took off into the Outback. And she needed to observe how Luke interacted with Joey. No way was she going to hand her little boy over for two months in Luke Manning’s care unless she was sure they would get along well.
‘Can we fly all the way to your ranch?’ Joey asked Luke.
‘We certainly can.’
They reached the next floor and Luke hurried forward again. Joey was almost running to keep pace with his long stride. ‘Do you really fly your own plane?’ The boy’s voice was squeaky with excitement.
‘Sure do. I’ve just upgraded to a twin engine.’
‘Oh, wow! That’s so neat.’ Joey’s face was a picture of adoration.
Following behind them, Erin gnawed at her lip. It rankled that Luke had acquired a small plane and his pilot’s licence after their marriage broke up. There’d been no planes available when she’d lived on Warrapinya and had desperately needed one.
But it was useless to dwell on what might have been. The marriage between the bride from Manhattan and the boss of Warrapinya had been doomed from the outset and it was only sensible to leave it where it lay. Discarded. Dead and buried.
As they headed out through automatic sliding glass doors and into the parking area Joey’s piping voice and his endless questions added to her tension.
‘Do you drive a pick-up, Dad?’
‘They call pick-up trucks utes in Australia,’ she snapped.
‘Utes?’ Joey pulled a face. ‘That sounds weird.’ Luke grinned at him. ‘We have lots of weird things down here.’
‘Yeah.’ Joey skipped excitedly. ‘Do you have lots of weird animals on your ranch, Dad?’
‘Plenty of roos. And crocs.’
‘Crocs?’ The boy came to an abrupt halt and his face paled visibly. ‘Do you hunt crocodiles?’
Luke looked back over his shoulder and his grey eyes actually twinkled. ‘Not before breakfast.’
‘Joey’s been watching that Australian television show about the crocodile hunter,’ Erin explained.
She didn’t add that he’d had several nightmares involving crocodiles and deadly snakes. Instead she slipped a comforting arm around her son. ‘You’re not too keen on crocodiles, are you, baby?’
Luke came to a stop and he frowned as he watched her fingers rubbing at Joey’s shoulder. For some reason she felt suddenly self-conscious under his scrutiny and her hand grew still. Then she lifted it away and clenched it at her side.
‘I hope you haven’t made him into a sissy,’ Luke said quietly.
‘Of course I haven’t.’ Erin glared at him. ‘That was uncalled for.’
Over Joey’s head, their eyes fought a silent battle. And then there was a barely perceptible nod of Luke’s head before he switched his attention back to the boy. ‘Don’t worry, mate. We’ll keep well away from crocodiles while you’re staying with me.’
They’d stopped near a long silver-grey sedan and, to Erin’s surprise, Luke extracted a key from his pocket and pressed its central locking device.
She’d never seen Luke drive a city car before. Of course, he would have hired the car for the brief time he was in Sydney, but it was silly how little, unimportant things suddenly seemed to take on improbable significance. A sleek, sporty sedan didn’t fit her image of Luke. Her memories of him involved uncomfortable, old and battered dust-covered utes, or sturdy four-wheel drives with clearance so high she’d almost needed a ladder to climb into them.
‘Mom put stars and stripes stickers on our luggage so we could find it,’ Joey commented proudly as Luke began to stow their suitcases into the car’s trunk.
Luke straightened and let his gaze slide sideways to where Erin stood. ‘That’s a good idea,’ he said, looking at her. ‘Your mom’s a very organised lady.’
Something bright—perhaps it was a trick of the light—seemed to flicker in his eyes and Erin felt a sudden need to plough nervous fingers through her hair.
Luke watched her action, his expression faintly worried. He was frowning as he closed the boot, and the frown held as he walked to open the front passenger door and motioned to Erin to take a seat.
Oh, help. The tension between them was suffocating, and it was only going to get worse if she had to sit there beside him.
‘Can I sit in the front with you, Dad?’
For a beat or two Luke didn’t seem to hear Joey, but then, with deliberate effort, he turned to the boy.
‘Can I?’ Joey persisted.
‘You know children should always ride in the back,’ Erin reminded him quickly.
‘Your mother’s right,’ said Luke.
Joey pouted.
‘I’ll sit in the back with you, honey.’ She didn’t look at Luke so she missed his reaction to this. She took Joey’s hand. She loved the touch of his still baby-soft skin and now she wanted to feel it again, to absorb the comfort of his small, warm hand clasping hers. Needing her.
More than ever she needed her son to need her now.
She and Joey had never been separated for more than a day or two, and that had only been when she’d been forced to take a short business trip. On those few occasions she’d left him with her mother, whose apartment was only two blocks away.
The thought of parting with her little boy for two long months was bad enough, but the reality of turning him over to the father he idolised was scary.
Going to Warrapinya would be a thrilling adventure for Joey. The Outback was astonishing, like nothing the boy had ever seen. Just the name Warrapinya stirred Erin, bringing a rush of memories of a unique and dramatic landscape—and good and bad reactions to match—at times a lift to her heart and at others a shudder down her spine.
She’d experienced the best and the worst of times there.
Joey, however, wouldn’t see the problems. He’d love Luke’s ranch. And he’d love Luke, who could be very charming and entertaining when he set his mind to it. She knew that only too well.
But…what if…what if Joey had such a great time with his dad that he didn’t want to come back to her?
Oh, damn. She’d made a vow that she wouldn’t give in to negative thoughts, and already she was letting her insecurities get the better of her. She had to stomp on them. Quickly.
Joey loved her. Erin knew that. She must never doubt it for a moment. They had a wonderful relationship full of love and easygoing warmth and companionship and fun.
Luke, she realised, was watching her again, but this time he’d schooled his features so there was no unsettling flicker and no chilling contempt. His gaze was devoid of emotion as he opened the car’s back door for them.
‘I’ve booked you into a hotel in Woolloomooloo, near the harbour,’ he said as he closed the door, and then he slipped into the driver’s seat and started the car.
It was late afternoon and the peak-hour rush had begun. Heavy, dull winter skies loomed. At home it was summer but down here in Sydney the people on the pavements were bundled inside coats and scarves and hurrying, as if eager to reach home and warmth. The threat of rain hovered, and in this dull light the city, famous for its bright and pretty harbour, looked unwelcoming.
But nothing could cloud Joey’s happiness. From the back seat he leaned forward, straining against his seat belt so he could watch Luke.
Erin closed her eyes and let her head sink back against the luxuriously soft dove-grey leather upholstery. She felt exhausted, exhausted by the whole process of getting here, by the tension of it all, and the long flight followed by the tedious process of collecting their baggage, of making their way through Security, through Immigration and Customs.
Then the ordeal of seeing Luke again.
Oh, God. Without warning her mind flashed back to the last time she’d seen Luke, the day she’d left Warrapinya with Joey screaming in her arms.
It had been horrendous, the very worst thing she’d ever experienced. She’d relived it in her dreams a hundred times and each time she woke to find herself shaking and in tears. Even now she was falling apart just remembering.
She’d stood on the homestead veranda at the top of the front stairs, with her bags packed and tears streaming down her face, waiting for Nails, the Aboriginal odd-job man, who was going to drive her to the nearest airport at Cloncurry.
But, before Nails had arrived, Luke had appeared out of nowhere, charging up on a galloping horse and bearing an enormous bouquet of Outback flowers—golden wattle, red grevillea and purple wildflowers.
‘What’s going on?’ he’d roared when he saw her suitcases.
Over Joey’s cries she’d called back, ‘I can’t take any more of this place. I’m leaving you, Luke. Joey’s sick and you’ve been gone for days and I’ve had enough.’
Luke had leapt from his horse. ‘What’s the matter with Joey?’
‘I don’t know. He just cries all the time and he won’t feed.’
‘I’ll come with you. We’ll take him to the doctor.’
‘No, you don’t understand. It’s too late for you to try to help me now. It’s over, Luke. I’ve had as much as I can take of this place. I’m going home and I’m taking Joey.’
At the time it hadn’t felt like selfishness. She’d been on her own so much and she’d been so distraught about Joey. She’d been a nervous first-time mother and her baby had cried all the time, but the Flying Doctors hadn’t considered her situation an emergency and her husband never seemed to be around. She’d felt she had no one to turn to.
Luke had been stunned. Unable to speak, he’d shoved the flowers at her. ‘But I picked these for you.’
A tremendous heartbroken howl broke from her then as she swiped at his bouquet, making the colourful flowers spill from his hand and tumble down the steps. She’d been hysterical, she realised now, looking back.
‘It’s too late for flowers. There’s no point.’
‘But you can’t leave.’ The horror in Luke’s eyes had almost made her weaken. ‘I don’t understand.’
‘Of course you don’t understand. That’s because you’re never here. All I needed was a little support from you, Luke, but you just make a joke whenever I tell you how worried I am. And you’ve abandoned me here for weeks at a time. You’re always off caring for your cattle. You’ve been gone all week, pulling cows out of bogs. Well, I’m bogged down here, but I’m getting myself out. I’m getting proper care for Joey and I’m not coming back.’
Nails drove up in the ute at that moment. Clutching Joey tightly, Erin fled down the steps and jumped into the front seat and locked the door.
There was been a terrible moment when Nails leaned out of the driver’s window. ‘You want to drive the missus into town, Boss?’
‘No!’ Erin cried. ‘I don’t want him, Nails. Come on, let’s go.’
But Luke wasn’t going to let her go without a fight. ‘Hand over the keys, Nails. I’m taking my son to the doctor.’
Erin actually thought Luke might wrench the door open. ‘You’re too late!’ she cried. ‘Even if you follow me, you can’t make me come back. I won’t stay here.’
Luke glared at her, his eyes almost black with rage and despair. Jerking her head to the front, she stared ahead of her at the dusty track. ‘Start the ute, Nails.’
And then Luke gave in suddenly. He threw her bags into the back of the vehicle and they landed with a heavy thump-thump. Completely bewildered, Nails shrugged, then depressed the accelerator and they left.
She would never forget the harrowing sound of Luke’s angry voice shouting after them…
‘Mommy, what’s the matter?’
Joey was leaning forward, staring at her, and she realised that tears were streaming down her face. She forced a smile. ‘It’s nothing, Joey. I’m okay.’
‘Don’t you like Dad’s car?’
‘Yes, yes, it’s fine. Your dad’s a very good driver. I’m just a little tired.’ She dug in her pocket for a tissue and wiped her eyes.
If only she could fast-forward the next twenty-four hours. She wanted to get this meeting and all that it involved behind her, and then she would be free to go off on her own holiday down under, and she would have nothing more to do with Luke Manning till August.
CHAPTER TWO
THE hotel Luke had booked for them was the height of luxury, much more upmarket than the hotels he’d been able to afford when he and Erin had been married. Overlooking one of the most scenic bays in Sydney Harbour, it was reminiscent of a grand nineteenth century home and furnished with beautiful antiques, oil paintings and fine tapestries.
Erin and Joey had a whole suite, with a sitting room, two separate bedrooms, glamorous bathrooms and French windows opening on to balconies with views across the water.
Joey was round-eyed with delight. ‘Wow!’ he shouted, running to the balcony to admire the busy spectacle of ships and ferries and sailing boats. ‘This place is awesome, Dad.’
‘Where are you staying?’ Erin couldn’t help asking Luke.
‘Across the hall.’
There was a sharp edge to the way he said that and she wondered if his mind had followed the same direction as hers—recalling times in the past when they hadn’t been able to keep their hands off each other, when they couldn’t have borne to be separated by anything as vast as a hallway.
Don’t be pathetic. Don’t think about that.
‘I’m sure you must be tired,’ Luke added.
‘Yes, I am a bit. A bath would be wonderful.’
‘I’ll leave you to settle in.’ He glanced at his wristwatch. ‘You won’t want the ordeal of going to a restaurant this evening. I can organise room service if you like.’ He spoke politely, but without warmth.
Erin found this emotionless, distanced Luke disturbing, almost formidable. She lifted her chin. ‘Thank you, but you don’t have to order for us. I’ll take care of our meals.’
Luke frowned and his jaw clenched momentarily, but then he seemed to deliberately switch his attention to the open doorway of Joey’s room. The little boy had suddenly run out of steam and he lay spread-eagled across the bed with his feet dangling over the edge, showing the soles of his trainers, criss-crossed with deep purple and black treads.
‘Looks like Joey won’t last much longer,’ he said.
‘He’s fading fast. He’s never flown before, so I’m not sure how he’ll handle the jet lag.’
Without warning, Luke looked directly at her again, his grey eyes piercing cold. ‘You said in your email that you had ground rules you wanted to discuss with me.’
‘Oh…’ To her annoyance she felt her cheeks grow hot. ‘Yes, yes I do.’
‘When would suit you?’
‘I—er—I suppose it would be best to talk about them soon.’
‘I could come back this evening perhaps—if Joey goes to sleep early?’
The thought of being alone with Luke, without Joey as a buffer, caused a hitch in her breathing, but it was best to get this over and done with. ‘Okay. Give me an hour or so to get settled. Can you come around seven?’
‘Right.’
As soon as Luke left Erin walked into Joey’s room and he rolled on to his back and smiled up at her, his smoky blue eyes shining from beneath sleep-heavy lids. ‘My dad’s the best, isn’t he, Mom?’
Was she strong enough to face Joey’s rampant enthusiasm? ‘Your dad thinks you’re wonderful,’ she said and she kissed him and sat very still on the edge of his bed, stroking his short, soft hair, aware as she’d been so many times before of the astonishing strength of her love for him.
Joey was the most important person, the most important anything in her life. Securing his happiness was her primary goal—for that she was risking this trip.
But letting him go was so scary. Once he got to know his father, he might never love her as completely or as perfectly as he did now. And she had no idea how Luke was going to react. Her one terror was that he might assume he had a right to reclaim his son.
But she couldn’t allow herself to dwell on that or she would lose the plot completely. She had to take this one step at a time. Most importantly, she had to try to stay calm.
Forty-five minutes.
Erin had been back in Luke’s life for less than an hour and he was a wreck.
In his hotel room he tossed his keys with such force they skimmed across the glassy surface of the bedside table and fell to the floor. He didn’t bother to retrieve them.
He felt like hell.
His plan hadn’t worked.
The plan had been to remain unmoved by the meeting with Erin and Joey. It should have been a cinch.
For the past five years he’d kept his feelings for his wife—his ex-wife—and her son safely locked away, buried deep, impenetrable, behind a walled fortress. He’d known there was no hope of saving his marriage, so he’d sentenced himself to five years’ hard labour with no time off for good behaviour. He’d thrown himself into making Warrapinya the best cattle property in the north-west.
By the time Erin’s letter had arrived, suggesting that he should meet his son, he had been sure he’d conquered his inner demons. He could handle a reunion without raising a sweat.
But at the airport just now, all it had taken was the first glimpse of Erin’s bright autumn hair and her blue-as-heaven eyes and longing had ripped through him like a bullet.
Damn.
Luke marched to the window and stared grimly out without seeing the view. He had to get a grip. Surely he’d learned his lesson? How hard did a guy have to be slugged before he remembered that his marriage had been the biggest mistake of his life?
His shoulders rose and fell as he released a sigh of frustration. Okay, maybe he was never going to stop desiring Erin Reilly, but he was never going to do anything about it either. Erin was a no-go zone. No way was he going to make the same mistakes as last time.
As for the boy…
Luke was less certain about Joey. He had no idea what Erin had told their son about his father, about their marriage, but he’d been expecting the kid to see him as the bad guy. Joey’s eagerness and excitement had knocked Luke for six. He didn’t deserve his son’s adoration, but it was there, shining in the boy’s eyes.
Another very good reason to pull himself together.
Luke turned and caught his reflection in the mirror. He looked a shocker—face like dropped meat pie.
He forced a half-hearted smile. ‘Cheer up, mate. Your ex might find you as appealing as a black snake in a sleeping bag, but your son thinks you’re the duck’s pyjamas.’
Erin should have been well prepared and calm when Luke strode back through her doorway an hour later, but she wasn’t any kind of calm, and she had no one but herself to blame.
Too late, she’d realised that she’d spent far too long in the bath, and then she’d had to rush the business of blow-drying her hair and selecting something to wear.
When she heard Luke’s knock, precisely on time, calmness wasn’t even in the ballpark. Her short dark red hair was still damp and spiky and she’d had no time for make-up. Damn. She hadn’t wanted to look dolled up, as if she was trying to impress the man, but she’d wanted, at the very least, to use some concealer to hide the traveller’s puffy shadows under her eyes.
‘Just a minute,’ she called, angry with herself for not being ready and angry with Luke for being exactly on time. She snatched up her perfume. And then smacked it down again. It was Lost, the deeply sweet and sensual scent she always wore. In the days of their courtship and marriage Luke had been crazy about it. Perhaps it wasn’t wise to wear it tonight.
There was another sharp tattoo on her door. It sounded impatient. Bossy.
Annoyed, Erin grabbed the bottle again and squirted the perfume at her neck, at her wrists and into the V of her sweater. And then, without bothering to hunt for her shoes, she hurried to answer the door.
‘I thought you must have fallen asleep,’ Luke said dryly.
‘Is that why you were banging so loudly?’
‘I wasn’t banging.’ A sudden flash of irritation sparked in his cool eyes.
Oh, God. No doubt Luke was on edge too. And they were fighting. Already.
Erin back-pedalled. ‘I almost nodded off in the bath, but I’d say I’m good for another hour, tops.’
‘I don’t suppose our business will take very long.’
‘No, I guess not.’ She waved a hand in the direction of the armchairs arranged around an elegant polished timber coffee table. ‘Would you like coffee?’
‘Not unless you’d like some.’
‘I’m fine.’
They sat. Erin crossed her legs, but her bare feet and painted toenails seemed too—naked—and she wished she’d put shoes on. She uncrossed her legs again and tried, unsuccessfully, to tuck her feet out of sight. Luke settled comfortably with the ankle of one long leg balanced easily on the knee of the other.
It was daunting to be alone with him again after five long years. Everything about him was so familiar, and yet strange. There were changes too. He’d lost a little weight and gained a few lines. Resistance and stealthy watchfulness had replaced his easy good humour and ready smile.
His cool gaze slid over her, taking in her kitten-soft white cashmere sweater and sleek black Capri trousers—carelessly comfortable, elegant garments that she couldn’t have afforded when they’d met seven years ago.
‘No jewellery this evening,’ he commented.
Surprised that he’d noticed, she lifted ringless hands to touch her bare throat and to finger her empty ear lobes. ‘Too close to bedtime to bother.’ Besides, there’s no one I need to impress.
Watching her carefully, he hitched a casual arm over the back of his chair. ‘So, how are things, Erin? How’s your business?’
‘Things are fine. My business is doing really well.’
‘You’re still in partnership with your sister?’
‘Yes. And we’ve expanded. Angie and I still do all the designs, but we’ve taken on more staff to make most of our jewellery for us.’
It felt good to tell Luke that, to let him see that although she’d made a mess of her personal life, she was proud of her business success. ‘Actually, we’ve just signed a contract with Candia Hart. Have you heard of her? She’s one of the new big stars in Australian fashion design. She loves our stuff, and I’m meeting her here in Sydney to plan accessories for her show in NewYork next spring.’
Luke looked appropriately impressed. ‘You’ll be opening a shop on Fifth Avenue in no time.’
‘You never know. We just might.’
‘I had no idea there was such a high demand for coloured pencils threaded on string.’
Schmuck. Erin narrowed her eyes and waited for him to redeem himself with even the hint of a smile. In the past Luke’s dry sense of humour had been one of his charms, but this evening there was no sign of it.
‘We’ve expanded our repertoire,’ she said tightly and then she lifted one hand in a sweeping flourish that took in the suite of rooms. ‘Looks like your cattle business is doing well too. You’re staying in five-star hotels these days, and buying twin-engine aeroplanes.’
He nodded, but offered no further comment. Instead he said, ‘About these ground rules of yours.’
‘Right.’ Erin let out her breath with a nervous huff. ‘I don’t suppose they’re rules exactly. Mostly, I wanted to fill you in a little. It’s important we’re both on the same page with the way we handle Joey.’
She paused then, hoping Luke might make a favourable comment about their son, about what a fine little guy he was, but he simply nodded grimly. His cool stare was a distinct challenge, but she was determined not to let him upset her.
‘Fire away,’ he said.
‘Okay.’ She pressed her lips together, and then released her breath again slowly. ‘You’ll get to know Joey better tomorrow, but I’m sure you’ve already noticed that he asks lots of questions.’
He nodded without smiling.
‘You’ll need to be prepared for that. Once you take him to Warrapinya he’s bound to bombard you with questions—especially about—about us.’
‘What about us?’
‘About why we split up.’ Lowering her gaze, she traced the pattern of tapestry leaves on the upholstered arm of her chair. ‘I’m afraid he asks that question rather a lot—the same question over and over.’
‘Why would he need to do that?’ Luke asked sharply. ‘Haven’t you been able to give him a satisfactory answer?’
‘I—I believe I have. I’ve certainly done my best.’
‘But he keeps on asking—wanting to know why we spilt up?’
‘Yes. He does it partly to learn, I guess, to understand. But I think he’s also checking that the answer stays the same.’ She hurried on nervously. ‘He can ask the most difficult questions at the most inconvenient moments. It always seems to happen to me when I’m standing in the supermarket line, or when I’m dropping him off at school.’ And then, because Luke was looking at her with such clear dislike, she added, ‘Or just as I’m about to go out and my date’s standing on the doorstep.’
Luke’s jaw stiffened and Erin felt a flicker of triumph, but then, as a dark stain tinged his neck, she almost wished she could take back that last cheap shot. She wanted her role in this meeting to be very mature, very civilised.
Shifting his weight slightly, Luke sat a little straighter and crossed his arms over his chest. ‘Okay, so what is the answer, Erin?’ He asked this very quietly, but the question seemed to reverberate around the room. ‘What do you tell the boy about why we split up?’
An uncomfortable pulse beat at the base of her throat. ‘I—I tell him the truth—that we weren’t able to live together.’
‘I see.’ He stared at her. ‘Is that all you’ve told him?’
‘Pretty much. I’ve been careful never to criticise you, Luke.’
‘Am I supposed to be grateful?’
Her teeth ground together and she took a deep breath, trying for an impossible calm. ‘When Joey asks why we can’t be a family, I remind him about what his teacher told the class—about all the different kinds of families there are.’
Luke frowned. ‘For example?’
Was he being deliberately obtuse?
‘Come on, Luke, you know as well as I do how many single and blended families there are these days. In America there are more children in those kinds of families than there are in families with both biological parents.’
‘I’m sure that must be immensely reassuring for Joey.’
Sighing loudly, Erin thumped the arm of her chair. ‘It’s a fact of life.’
He sat very still, watching her.
‘The important thing to remember is that Joey needs reassurance from both of us that we love him, that we’re going to keep on loving him even though we’re separated—even though—’
‘Even though his parents don’t love each other,’ Luke said, finishing the sentence in a voice as dry as moon dust.
Erin felt as if she couldn’t breathe. ‘Yes,’ she managed at last.
There was another terrible silence while they both stared at the floor.
‘I suppose Joey must worry that you’ll leave him too.’
Her head shot up. ‘No. He knows that’s impossible.’
‘Does he?’ Luke’s glance was sharp and hard. ‘We were a family once. Joey’s old enough to realise that you must have loved me once, but that didn’t stop you from leaving.’
She leapt to her feet, needing to defend herself, to swipe that stony accusation from Luke’s eyes. But she was trapped by his ruthless gaze—like an escaping prisoner caught in a searchlight’s beam, her guilt exposed. ‘That’s unfair and you know it.’
‘It’s plain logic, Erin. You said Joey’s a smart kid. Smart kids worry. I’m just trying to see how the boy might view this.’
‘Okay, I’ll tell you how he views this. He loves me. I—I’ve been a good mom to him. I’ve been better than that. I’ve been great.’
‘I don’t think that’s in question.’
‘And he idolises you. I might be his mother, but you’re his hero, Luke. He’s got you on such a high pedestal you’ll need a parachute to get down.’
Taken aback, Luke scratched the back of his neck. ‘How did that happen?’
Erin shrugged. She was too tired and emotional to try to analyse the complexities of the absent father scenario now. ‘Look,’ she said. ‘I’ve never said a word against you to Joey, and I need you to promise that you won’t tell him things that will turn him against me.’
‘Of course. I promise you have my word on that.’
She blinked hard as her eyes filled with sudden tears. ‘Joey knows he’ll be going back to New York with me at the end of this holiday.’
Luke made no comment.
‘And—’ She gulped; her throat had constricted over a knot of pain. ‘I’ve made it very clear to him that there’s no chance of us becoming a family again.’
‘I see.’ Luke stood abruptly and looked down at her from his too impressive height.
If only she’d put shoes on. Her bare feet were sinking into the deep pile of the carpet and, beside Luke, she felt too short. ‘There’s one last thing that’s very important,’ she said.
The line of his mouth tightened. ‘What’s that?’
‘I want you to promise that you’ll take really good care of Joey.’
Unexpected fury darkened his face. ‘Of course I’ll take bloody good care of him. How can you even ask that?’
‘Who’s going to look after Joey while you’re off mending fences or shifting cattle?’
‘I’ll be with him all the time.’
‘But—’
‘My cousin is managing Warrapinya these days.’
‘Really? I didn’t even know you had a cousin.’
‘Keith and his wife used to live on a station way out the back of Lake Nash, but these days Keith looks after the running of our place, so I’ll be free to spend time with Joey.’
Erin stared at him, shocked. Luke’s prolonged absences while he attended to the thousand and one jobs needed to run Warrapinya had been a major cause of their break-up.
When she’d lived on Warrapinya it hadn’t mattered how many employees Luke had—jackaroos, ringers or cooks—Luke had held himself responsible. He was the boss and the boss always went mustering, was always there for the tough work, the dirty work like fencing, dam building, branding, or breaking in horses. He’d maintained that he should take on the dangerous tasks rather than a worker.
If there was a wild scrub bull to be caught, it was the boss who led the way. Once a windmill’s blades had gone berserk in a gale and the entire top threatened to tear off. Nails, the station handyman, had been going to climb up and disconnect the sails, but Luke had insisted on attending to it.
He’d claimed that running Warrapinya was more than a hands-on job. It was a hearts-on job.
Now it was beyond disconcerting to hear that in five short years Luke had delegated someone else to run Warrapinya for him. Joey would have his father’s undivided attention. She should have been pleased, but instead she was fighting anger and hurt. ‘I—I couldn’t bear it if anything happened to Joey,’ she said quickly.
‘What’s going to happen? What the hell are you talking about?’
‘The Outback’s so dangerous.’
With a groan, Luke flung back his head and stared at the ceiling. When he looked at her again, his eyes were blistering. ‘You haven’t filled Joey’s head with that kind of bull, have you?’
‘No.’
‘I suppose you’ve told him that’s why you left—because you were terrified of the Outback?’
‘No!’
Jaw jutting belligerently, he stared at the toe of his riding boot and then flicked his gaze back to her. ‘But that was it, wasn’t it, Erin? It wasn’t so much that we couldn’t live together as that you couldn’t live in the bush.’
There was no point in having this conversation. It was ancient history; their divorce was a fait accompli.
When Erin refused to answer, Luke took an intimidating step towards her.
With her shoulders braced, she said, ‘You know it wasn’t just that.’
‘Okay…just to refresh my memory…what exactly was our problem?’
‘For heaven’s sake, it’s not worth dragging that up now.’
‘Come on, Erin, you can do better than that.’
‘How can you ask now? It’s too late.’ Through clenched teeth, she added, ‘It’s five years too late.’
‘I couldn’t ask you five years ago. You ran away.’
‘You didn’t try to contact me after I left, Luke. You could have asked questions then.’ Shaking with a deluge of anger and despair, she felt tears stand in her eyes. ‘When I left Warrapinya, you yelled after me to go to hell. ‘Good riddance’, you yelled. And then, you never once tried to telephone me. There wasn’t a word, Luke. You knew Joey was sick, but you never rang to find out how he was. Not once. You didn’t want to know.’
Until she’d written to Luke to request a meeting with Joey he’d been silent. For five years he’d worn his stubborn pride like a badge of courage. The only contact had been via his lawyer and his accountant who supervised the regular deposits into her bank account for Joey’s maintenance.
Now Luke stood facing her, his eyes bright with fury. A muscle clenched near his jaw line, but then he shook his head slowly. ‘You’re right,’ he said. ‘You’re tired and jet lagged and this is the wrong time to try to discuss this.’
Without another word, he turned and strode quickly out of the room.
The door closed behind him and an angry sob rose in Erin’s throat. She might have given way to tears, but there was a sound behind her and she turned to find Joey standing in the doorway of his bedroom, squinting into the light.
‘Oh, sweetie,’ she cried, arms outstretched as she hurried to him. ‘Did we wake you?’
‘You were shouting.’
‘Shouting?’
‘You and—and Dad.’ He peered up at her and looked frightened. ‘Are you crying, Mom?’
‘No.’ Hastily, she pulled Joey to her with a one-armed hug while she sniffed and used her other hand to swipe at her eyes. She kissed the top of his head. ‘Your dad and I were just talking. Sorry if we got a little loud.’
‘You sounded mad.’ Joey looked past her. ‘Where’s Dad now?’
‘He’s gone back to his room.’
‘Why?’
‘Because—because he needs to sleep. And so do I. So do you.’
‘I’m not tired any more.’
Erin’s heart sank to the floor. She was emotionally wrung out and dead on her feet. She couldn’t bear it if Joey was wakeful now.
‘I’ll get room service to bring us some hot chocolate and something to eat,’ she said. ‘We’ll have it together in my big bed and then you can snuggle up with me.’
The boy’s bottom lip protruded as he thought about this. ‘What can we have to eat?’
‘What would you like?’
‘Pancakes?’
‘Pancakes at this hour?’ Two seconds later, she shrugged. ‘Why not? I’m sure the hotel can fix them for us. And then the sooner you get to sleep the sooner you’ll see your dad in the morning.’
She was rewarded with a huge grin.
What exactly was our problem?
Why, Luke wondered, had he asked Erin that? After all, he’d had five years to come up with his own answers. He’d worked out exactly why their marriage had ended.
At the time, he hadn’t seen it coming. There’d been no lead up. No storm warning.
It was only later that he’d understood that he should have taken Erin’s concerns seriously. When she’d fretted about the baby he’d tried to jolly her out of it, had told her she worried too much.
When she’d got mad with him for spending too much time away working with cattle he hadn’t tried to explain the pressures of running the property, he’d simply tried to shrug and crack a joke. Which had been pretty damn thoughtless. But he hated conflict.
If there had been a problem—a little bickering—he’d tended to say, ‘Let’s forget it and have a cuddle.’ Erin, on the other hand, was a bit of a terrier. She was an up-front person. She wanted to push an issue through to the bitter end.
But tonight he’d been the terrier pushing her, goading her. Why the hell couldn’t he stay calm and play this game her way? Their marriage was over.
Why was that so hard to remember?
What exactly was our problem?
Erin lay staring at the ceiling, desperate for sleep, while Luke’s question echoed in her head.
How could Luke pretend not to know the answer? Their problem had been clear as day. Right from the start it had been there in letters ten feet high for everyone to see—everyone, that was, except the two of them, blinded by foolish, foolish passion.
Luke’s parents and the Mannings’ neighbours and the ranch hands—they had all known that Luke’s Yankee bride was wrong for him. Her taste in clothes, her accent, her complexion, her attitude—everything was wrong.
The people at Warrapinya were friendly enough, but they had shown Erin, with varying degrees of subtlety, that she didn’t fit in. Even the contract fencing team, who had spent a few weeks on the property repairing barbed wire fences, had looked at her with puzzled smiles and she knew they’d joked about her behind her back.
Even so, she felt so terribly, terribly guilty because the things that had ended their marriage were so small really. Luke hadn’t gambled or drunk excessively or beaten her. But the little problems had snowballed till they loomed too large.
And that had been before Joey was born and her real problems started.
Everything had become completely clear once she had been safely back in NewYork. How could she ever have been so idiotic as to think she could live anywhere else?
CHAPTER THREE
THE scratch of a key turning in a lock woke Erin, but although she heard the sound quite distinctly she felt too drugged by sleep to respond.
She lay very still, drifting slowly up and up from the murky depths of deep slumber, aware of sounds…the rattle of the door opening and the thud of it closing. Then silence. Lovely. She could sink back into the mattress. She could…
Her eyes flashed open. Something was wrong. The silence was wrong. Was someone tiptoeing about in her room? An intruder?
Squinting through semi-darkness she saw unfamiliar furniture. The windows were covered by heavy curtains, but glimmers at either ends of the fabric indicated dazzling daylight outside.
Then she heard a loud whisper. ‘Do you think she’s awake yet?’
Joey.
Erin lurched upright, her heart racing as she remembered she was in a hotel in Sydney. How long had she slept? Oh, God, how long had Joey been awake? What had he been doing? Who was he talking to?
She flung the bedclothes aside just as two figures appeared at the door to her bedroom, one very tall, the other small.
‘Mommy, you’re awake!’ A small, Joey-shaped torpedo launched across the carpet towards her. ‘You’ve been asleep all day.’
‘All day? I can’t have.’
‘Only half a day.’ Luke’s voice came from the doorway. ‘It’s just gone noon.’
Noon. Erin groaned. This day was the last time she had with Joey before he left for North Queensland. And she’d wasted half of it. Why hadn’t she factored jet lag into her planning?
‘We’ve already had breakfast and lunch,’ Joey announced. ‘’Cause I was starving.’ With a happy grin, he threw himself beside her on the bed. His cheeks glowed pink, as if he’d been running and playing outdoors. ‘Guess what we had for lunch?’
Erin was super-aware of Luke watching from the doorway. Joey was sitting on top of the sheets so she couldn’t use them to cover her bare legs. She tried to pull her yellow silk nightdress higher to cover the tops of her breasts. She hated to think how her hair must look. It would be a fright. She focused on Joey. ‘I give up. What did you have for lunch?’
‘Fish and chips,’ he exclaimed excitedly. ‘Dad and me had a picnic down near the water. We had these hot and crunchy pieces of fish with salty French fries and they were all wrapped up in paper.’
‘Wow, that sounds…neat.’
‘It was. It was excellent. And I fed some seagulls with little bits of my fish. And Dad and me had a soda too.’
With one hand holding her nightdress against her chest, Erin looked from her son to Luke. His eyes were bright and a smile lurked. She sensed a light-heartedness about him that she hadn’t seen yesterday and she felt a perverse need to dampen it. ‘You shouldn’t have let me sleep in,’ she accused.
‘You were dead to the world.’
The happy light in his eyes flustered her and she switched her attention back to Joey. ‘So how did all this happen? When did you wake up?’
Joey shrugged. ‘I heard Dad knocking on the door, so I opened it and let him in. And then Dad gave you a shake.’
‘He what?’
Heat suffused her as she pictured what must have happened—Luke approaching her bed, leaning over her, touching her while she slept. Once more she flicked a hasty glance his way. He was still standing in the doorway, one shoulder resting casually against the frame, and she was annoyed to see a hint of amusement lurking in the depths of his smoky eyes.
Joey must have sensed her tension and he frowned. ‘It was just a little shake, Mommy, but you didn’t move. So Dad said we should leave you to sleep. He helped me to find some clothes and he wrote you a note and then we went out for breakfast.’
A note? It was then that Erin saw the page of hotel stationery on her nightstand and a message in Luke’s sharp, spiky handwriting.
‘So the two of you have spent the whole morning together,’ she said. ‘I guess I should thank you, Luke.’
‘Are you going to get up now?’ prompted Joey. ‘Dad said if you want, we can go to Taronga Park zoo.’
‘Only if you’re interested,’ added Luke quickly.
Joey bounced excitedly, making the mattress rock beneath Erin. ‘You want to go, don’t you, Mommy? Dad said the zoo’s on the other side of the harbour and we can get there on a ferry.’
Dad said, Dad said. Clearly Joey’s adoration of Luke wasn’t going to wane any time soon.
‘You’ll have to give me time to take a shower.’
‘And you’ll need coffee and something to eat,’ added Luke, but his words were almost drowned out by Joey’s cheers. ‘Can I order something for you?’
Of course she said yes. She said yes to everything. There was no way she was going to let her dissent spoil this last afternoon with Joey. She even acquiesced when, as they left the hotel, Joey insisted on walking between them, holding her hand and Luke’s as if the three of them were a regular family.
It was a beautiful day. As they boarded the bus bound for Circular Quay, Erin saw that yesterday’s dull, threatening weather had cleared. The air was crisp and sparkling, the sky was a clean, bright blue and the sunshine had turned Sydney Harbour into a dazzling sea of sapphires. Although there was a nip in the air and they needed warm jackets, it was hard to remember that it was winter.
Joey found everything thrilling—even lining up to buy ferry tickets—and his happiness and excitement were catching. By the time the boat pulled away from the dock, Erin felt more at ease than she had in weeks. Perhaps, for one afternoon, she could keep her mind free from anxiety. She could aim to be as innocent and carefree as Joey.
Luke was in a better mood too, so perhaps they could all relax. She decided to try very hard. She would live in the moment and immerse herself in the simple enjoyment of the sunshine, the sparkling harbour and the freshness of the salty breeze skimming across the water.
For just one afternoon, they could all pretend that everything was okay.
It was a nice theory.
It couldn’t work, of course.
The happy-family charade was too fragile to withstand the test of an entire afternoon. Minute by minute—while Erin and Luke laughed at the antics of the monkeys, while they waved to Joey as he rode an elephant on a merry-go-round, while they shared his admiration of the lions and tigers and his amusement over the cute little meerkats—the tension between them mounted.
Whenever Joey let go of their hands and danced ahead of them, Erin walked carefully apart from Luke, taking excessive pains not to touch him or bump him. And they were both excruciatingly careful to pay attention to Joey and to show an intense fascination with the animals on display. They took the same care to pay little or no attention to each other.
And gradually the light-hearted glimmer in Luke’s eyes dimmed and Erin’s smile became more strained.
If Joey noticed their apprehension he didn’t let on. This afternoon was too important to him. For the first time he could remember he had both his parents together. He was living his dream and it was almost as if he were willing Erin and Luke to be on their best behaviour so they couldn’t spoil his happiness.
And Erin and Luke were managing tolerably well. On the surface. Things deteriorated when they reached the kangaroos.
Kangaroos were so bizarre, Erin thought, with their soft, pretty faces, their tiny front paws and then their absurdly long back legs. Bizarre, but very cute. She pointed out a sweet little baby in its mother’s pouch.
Joey was entranced. He clung to the wire with his face pressed against it as he watched the baby kangaroo’s little black eyes, pointed nose and ears peeping out from a furry pocket on its mother’s abdomen.
‘Did you know that baby kangaroos are called joeys?’ Luke asked him.
Joey pulled back from the wire to stare up at them with excited delight. ‘Is that why you guys called me Joey, ’cause I’m your baby?’
‘Well…not exactly,’ Erin began and then she winced. Why had she chosen this moment to become pedantic?
Joey waited expectantly for further explanation.
‘Your name’s short for Joseph,’ she said. ‘You were named after your grandfather.’
‘After Grandpa Reilly?’
‘No, your other grandfather.’ Erin glanced towards Luke and a nervous tremble rippled through her as she watched a muscle twitch near his jaw. ‘His name was Joseph too,’ she said. ‘He was Joseph Manning—just like you.’
‘The first Joseph Manning was my dad,’ Luke explained. ‘We called you Joseph Peter. Joseph after my father and Peter after Peter Reilly, your mother’s father.’
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Barbara Hannay
Тип: электронная книга
Жанр: Современные любовные романы
Язык: на английском языке
Издательство: HarperCollins
Дата публикации: 16.04.2024
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О книге: Erin has agreed to take her little boy to the Outback to meet his father–her ex-husband– whom she hasn′t seen for five years.Seeing Luke again, Erin′s not sure how she′s supposed to act around the man she once loved so deeply. The memories of their marriage come flooding back…the happy times, and the reasons that tore them apart. But now Luke is determined she stay. Can Erin find the courage to give their marriage a second chance–and let them become a family again?