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A Season of Love
Kim Watters


Just in time for Christmas, a tall, dark and handsome Scrooge visits Holly Stanwyck’s holiday shop, threatening eviction. But once landlord Ethan Pelligrino sees the single mom’s plight, the former soldier becomes her protector instead.Suddenly he’s helping her with her struggling business and bonding with her troubled son. A wounded veteran come home to heal, Ethan is no stranger to sorrow. But something about the pretty widow fills him with hope. Will Holly be able to let go of her own painful past to see her future by his side?







The Soldier’s Gift

Just in time for Christmas, a tall, dark and handsome Scrooge visits Holly Stanwyck’s holiday shop, threatening eviction. But once landlord Ethan Pelligrino sees the single mom’s plight, the former soldier becomes her protector instead. Suddenly he’s helping her with her struggling business and bonding with her troubled son. A wounded veteran come home to heal, Ethan is no stranger to sorrow. But something about the pretty widow fills him with hope. Will Holly be able to let go of her own painful past to see her future by his side?


Ethan momentarily lost himself in Holly’s presence.

Her swept back locks exposed her long, elegant neck and straight, slightly upturned nose. But it was her vulnerability that got to him.

Despite her attempts to keep it all together, he sensed just below the surface she suffered and struggled with her son, the shop, everyday life.

He should step away. Instead, when she turned her head toward him, he found himself staring into her deep green eyes that had seen so much pain. A pain he could identify with. He’d lost his father at a young age, and several of his friends in Afghanistan. But even that couldn’t compare to losing one’s partner, one’s soul mate.

He had no experience with that sort of loss, yet he felt the need to comfort. Protect. He wanted to draw Holly into his arms and absorb her pain and blend it with his own.


KIM WATTERS

At twelve years old, Kim fell in love with romance novels after she borrowed a Harlequin book from her older sister’s bookshelf. An avid reader, she was soon hooked on the happily-ever-after endings. For years she dreamed of writing her own romance novel, but never had the time until she moved from the hustle and bustle of Chicago to a small town north of Phoenix, Arizona.

Kim lives with her two wonderful children, three cats, one neurotic fish and a crazy snail.


A Season of Love

Kim Watters




www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)


Though you have made me see troubles,

many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up.

—Psalms 71:20


For Shane and Emily, who continue to supply me

with endless children’s anecdotes that occasionally make their way into my stories.

For my parents, who instilled the pleasure of reading into me at an early age and taught me to

believe that I could do anything.

For my sister, who introduced me to Harlequin stories.

For Marc, who kept me on track and sane

while writing this book.

For Linda and Kerrie, critique partners extraordinaire.

And a special thanks to Evvere Anthony,

who patiently answered all my questions.


Contents

Chapter One (#ue8c8a1d9-208f-5cb5-af46-4a4996955858)

Chapter Two (#u67b7604b-d2f9-53d7-a15b-dd5b9dca2304)

Chapter Three (#udeda80a7-4c53-5be6-ad43-5654738fd862)

Chapter Four (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)

Epilogue (#litres_trial_promo)

Dear Reader (#litres_trial_promo)

Questions for Discussion (#litres_trial_promo)


Chapter One

Another Christmas carol drifted through the airwaves and settled on Holly Stanwyck’s shoulders as she sat in her deserted shop. Normally the music would soothe her, but not today. She needed some customers to walk through the front door of ’Tis Always the Season and buy enough merchandise to pay for the day’s overhead expenses. Without being able to put out new offerings in the past few weeks, though, the odds of that happening were nil.

Taking a break from the computer, she opened her mail and stared at another past-due notice before she placed it in the manila folder with the others. The real meaning of Christmas and the reason for the store had died two years ago, along with her dreams of a happily ever after.

“Bah, humbug.” Holly never thought she’d utter those words. Fisting her palms, she rested her chin against them and stared out at the tree behind the wrought-iron fence, its bare limbs scarcely darker than the clouds spitting snowflakes. Even the cold marble pillars and structure of the courthouse in the center of the square seemed to shrink under the weight of the early November storm. She blew her wispy bangs from her eyes.

She missed her husband. The store had been his idea; a way to keep Christmas in their hearts all year round and a way to sell the hand-carved wooden crosses, ornaments, figurines and crèches he made in the workshop behind their bungalow, along with other Christmas merchandise. Only one of his masterpieces remained, and with Jared dead, no new ones would grace the shelves.

In a few moments, she regained her composure and breathed in the scent of cinnamon wafting from the candle on the shelf behind her head. It reminded her of her grandmother’s house in the suburbs of Chicago, and she envisioned Nana Marie’s soft arms cocooning her in comfort. There is nothing in life that you can’t handle, child. Just put your trust in the Lord, and everything will be all right.

Easier said than done. She didn’t believe anymore and only went through the motions for her twelve-year-old son, Cameron. Still, Holly Stanwyck was no quitter. She would not lose everything she and Jared had worked so hard for. The new business venture she’d thought of last night would work. Refocusing on the words on the computer screen, she felt hope blaze through her. She’d get caught up on her bills and give Cam the Christmas he longed for.

Where was Cameron anyway? She glanced at her watch and her heart sank. School had ended an hour ago. If he didn’t show up in the next few minutes, she’d have to close up the shop and go searching for him again.

The bell above the door jingled. Quickly stuffing the folder under the counter, she stood and plastered on a smile, hoping her customer wouldn’t see the desperation lingering in her eyes. “Welcome to ’Tis Always...” Her words died in her throat as the door shut.

A tall, dark-haired stranger stood behind her son, and the scowl on the man’s face didn’t bode well. Cam had obviously forgotten their numerous talks about stranger danger, even in the small town. But then again, from first impressions, she guessed Cam didn’t have much of a choice. Knots formed in her stomach. This wasn’t a social visit. What had her son done now?

The man’s drab olive military-style coat did little to hide his muscular frame and only accentuated his height. Snowflakes clung to his cropped dark hair and dusted his jacket, but a few hugged his long eyelashes, outlining incredible but unsettling sapphire-blue eyes. His lips had yet to break into a fraction of a smile. She straightened her shoulders, refusing to be intimidated by him as she concentrated on her son.

“Cameron.” She glanced at her watch again. “Where have you been?” Trying to keep the censure from her voice and keep her tone light, she failed miserably. “Thank you for bringing him back, Mr....”

“You’re welcome. It’s Pellegrino. Ethan Pellegrino.” He spoke as if she should recognize his name. His lips formed a straight line and fatigue bracketed his eyes. He took his left hand off her son’s shoulder and put it in his pocket, but not before fisting and then flexing his fingers.

Holly racked her brain but came up empty. She would remember meeting him, although his name did sound vaguely familiar now, as if she’d seen it written down somewhere in the recent past.

“Holly Stanwyck.” Holly had enough manners to jut her hand out. The man didn’t reciprocate. He stared at her outstretched hand and shifted his weight. How rude. Holly let her hand drop back to the counter.

After a few uncomfortable seconds, she picked up a pen and twirled it in her fingers. Glancing past his broad shoulders, she noticed the steady stream of snowflakes increasing outside the front window. More anxiety tightened the knots inside her. If the snow continued, she’d have to drag out the shovel by nightfall and, worse, drive in it. But that was probably going to be the least of her worries. What had Cameron done now that this Ethan Pellegrino had to bring him to the shop?

“Pleased to meet you, Mr. Pellegrino.” I think. She glanced at the frown hugging her son’s lips. “What’s going on?” Her words added another layer to the growing tension. Uneasy, she walked to the other side of the counter, put her arm around her son and pulled him to her. At the man’s immobile expression, her nerves threatened to dislodge the glass of water she’d drunk earlier.

“Your son should tell you.”

“Cameron?” Her son pulled away, hung his head and then kicked at an imaginary spot on the floor. “What have you been up to?” She clipped her words and tried to remain unemotional, but failed. Cameron had been getting into trouble a lot lately.

Who was this stranger residing in her son’s body? He looked the same with his unruly dark blond hair and blue eyes, but his attitude had gone south. She needed to get a handle on it because in the next year or so, he’d be taller than she’d be. And more opinionated and more uncontrollable. The pen in her hand bent under the pressure.

“I took the long way here.”

She ground her teeth as a scowl twisted Cam’s lips. “With Patrick?”

“Why do you care who I walk with?”

Her son’s new friend was bad news, but the more Holly brought that fact up, the more Cameron hung out with him instead of his other friends. Her grip tightened. She’d lost Jared two years earlier, and she was going to lose the store in a few months if things didn’t improve. She couldn’t lose Cameron, as well. “I care because I love you.”

Her son’s scowl deepened and he moved away when she tried to push his bangs from his eyes. “I don’t see why you won’t let me take the bus home after school. Everyone else does.”

Holly sighed, refraining from the age-old saying of asking if everyone jumped off a bridge, would he follow? “Because I’m not there, I’m here, and you didn’t want to go to the YMCA. And now there’s apparently a good reason you’re to come here, that’s why.”

“The YMCA is for babies. Why did Dad have to die?” Cam threw his backpack down and crossed his arms over his chest. “If he were alive, you’d be at home like Matt’s or Tyler’s mom.”

At least she understood where the anger came from now. Communicating with her son lately had been harder than talking to the accounts-receivable people trying to collect on her past-due invoices. “Cam—I...”

Ethan Pellegrino shifted his weight, reminding Holly they weren’t alone. Her shoulders sagged. Now was not the time to have a heart-to-heart talk with her son about the fact that even if his father were alive, she’d still work outside the home as she’d always done. She had no choice now, and once she faced the reality that the store would be going out of business soon, she’d have to find another job to pay her bills. She’d been a bookkeeper before and could do it again, but she’d deal with that later. “What were you doing that Mr. Pellegrino felt compelled to bring you here?”

“Patrick and I were having some fun.”

“Fun?” Holly sank against the counter and rubbed her forehead. Her shoulder muscles tightened, creating an instant headache. “You know I don’t want you hanging around him. Thanks for bringing him to me, Mr. Pellegrino. I can take it from here.”

The man crossed his arms, pursed his lips and glowered at her son. “Not until I hear him utter the truth about where he was and what he was doing.”

“Excuse me?” Holly shoved her hands onto her hips and bit back her anger as she glared at Ethan Pellegrino. Somehow she’d lost control of the situation. “You don’t trust that I can deal with whatever my son has done?”

“It’s not you. It’s him. I doubt he’ll tell you the truth. I’m familiar with teenagers.”

“It’s not like we did much damage,” Cameron shot back.

“Cameron. Show some respect.” Holly corrected her son. “You will not speak to an adult that way no matter what the situation is. Understood?”

Cam nodded and stared at the floor.

“Now, what did Cameron and Patrick do?”

“They spray painted my garage door.” The man scraped his hand through his short hair as his gaze penetrated hers.

Cam had picked the wrong person to mess with.

Bile caught in her throat. Cameron had gone too far this time. The chat with the principal this morning had confirmed her son was heading down the wrong path. Holly felt powerless and overwhelmed by his attitude and change in personality. Inhaling sharply, she fought for control.

She was out of ideas on how to break through the wall Cameron had built around himself lately. Where communication had been easy when he was young, the moment he turned twelve and hormones kicked in, he’d turned inward and quit talking to her other than a few grunts here and there or to ask for money. “You spray painted Mr. Pellegrino’s garage? Why?”

“Because I wanted to.” Underneath all of Cameron’s bravado, Holly sensed him ready to implode. His eyes flashed with anger, hurt and panic, emotions she identified with on a daily basis.

Tagging was a minor offense in Dynamite Creek, Arizona, and usually had some kind of monetary fine—something she couldn’t afford right now. “That’s not a good enough answer. I believe both Mr. Pellegrino and I deserve to know the truth.”

Out of the corner of her eye, she watched the man shift his weight and continue to flex his hand as if testing out its strength while he glanced around the store.

“Because I heard that he’s going to evict us. This is Dad’s place. He can’t do that.”

“What? Where did you hear that?” The gnawing sensation took hold in her stomach and refused to let go as the realization hit. Mr. Pellegrino owned the building. She’d never met her landlord because he was supposed to be in Afghanistan. Jared had set everything up, and the past two years she’d signed the contracts with someone named Nan Emrey on the owner’s behalf.

She knew she’d have to deal with her rent issues sooner rather than later, but she’d thought it would be with Nan, not the six-foot male taking up more space in her shop than she was comfortable with. And now, thanks to Cameron, that time had probably come; not that her son was responsible for her failure to pay the rent. The place Jared envisioned all through college and during their early married lives was about to disappear. More sadness consumed her. ’Tis Always the Season was one of the few remaining ties they had to Jared.

She stared into Mr. Pellegrino’s immobile expression and shivered before she broke contact and refocused on her son.

“I heard it from Delany Wilson.” Anger choked his voice and emotion hovered in his eyes. “She told the whole class. She said we were going to lose everything—the business, the house, our car—and end up living out of a grocery cart in the park across the street.”

“That’s not true, Cam.” They weren’t in danger of losing the house yet, because Holly had paid her mortgage and her maxed-out home-equity loan before her rent. “Mr. Pellegrino is not going to evict us from our house. Only the bank can do that. I promise you, though, no matter what happens we will not be living out of a grocery cart.”

Holly had no idea what the future held in store for them. She did know that even if they had to eventually walk away from the house, they would not be homeless; both she and Jared had family in Tucson. She’d refused to let Cam know about all the money problems because she wanted to let him remain a child for a bit longer. Maybe she was doing him a disservice.

Cam wiped his nose on his jacket sleeve. Holly didn’t correct his actions, hoping he didn’t realize that she hadn’t mentioned anything about the store. A quick glance at her landlord confirmed he’d caught on to her son’s words, and their gazes met and held a few seconds before he glanced away. She knew this conversation was far from over, but she hoped Ethan wouldn’t bring up the issue in front of her son. She had enough to deal with.

“Promise?”

“Promise. Why didn’t you come to me, Cam?”

“Because I can’t talk to you. You’re always distracted. Or worried. Or busy.” Cameron pursed his lips and flailed his arms.

Holly wanted to deny it, but she couldn’t. Truth became claws of pain that ripped apart what remained of her heart. In spending so much time worrying about the house and the shop, she’d lost focus of her son.

Pulling Cam to her again, she put her arms around him and held him gently, cradling him. “I’m so sorry, honey. I—I don’t— I’m sorry.” Holly just stood and held her son. A tear slid from beneath her closed eyes. Cam squeezed her back, his thin body reminding her that he was just a child who needed help in understanding what happened around him.

Ethan cleared his throat. Holly still had to deal with the situation that had brought him here in the first place. No matter what Cameron was going through, she couldn’t condone his behavior and needed to get a handle on it quickly before it spun further out of control.

Releasing her son, she lifted his chin and stared into his unhappy eyes. “I’m still upset by your actions at Mr. Pellegrino’s house. You know what you did was wrong.”

“Yes,” Cam agreed halfheartedly.

“Good. And you know there’s going to be a consequence.”

“But—”

“No buts.” After wiping her hands on her jeans, she glanced at her landlord, surprised to see such compassion before his expression closed. “We’re going to Mr. Pellegrino’s house this weekend to remove the graffiti. Patrick, too, as soon as I talk to his parents.”

“That won’t be necessary.”

Holly took a step back and openly stared at the man. With his arms now folded across his chest and his legs spread shoulder-width apart, she deemed him another force to be reckoned with. The tick in his jawline and the immobile line of his lips didn’t help, either.

“It is necessary.” She placed her hands on Cam’s shoulders and spun him around to face the man. “My son needs to be held responsible for his actions. Why else would you have brought him here if you didn’t want some sort of resolution, Mr. Pellegrino?”

“Please, call me Ethan. Point taken. I’ll stop by tomorrow to set up the details.” He rubbed the stubble on his chin and stared at her baldly. But it was the words he didn’t say that concerned Holly. Her gut told her that when Mr. Pellegrino—no, Ethan—came by tomorrow, he’d have her eviction notice ready to add to the pile of past-due invoices underneath her counter.

* * *

“Welcome to ’Tis Always the Season.” Holly glanced up from her computer the next day. When she saw who stood at the threshold of her shop, her heart began to beat rapidly inside her chest.

“Afternoon.” Ethan Pellegrino took up more space than he should. A small gust of wind carried in the snowflakes and made her shiver, but that wasn’t what stole her breath away and froze her spine into a straight line. Crossing her arms, she leaned against the counter.

His expression matched the snow-laden clouds in the sky behind him. Not surprising, since she knew the nature of his visit today. She’d been expecting him, but that still didn’t make today’s conversation any easier.

Ethan rubbed his left hand over his five-o’clock shadow and broke eye contact for a moment. Hesitation danced over his features as he let out a sigh. “I won’t sugarcoat the situation. I was going to come by at the end of the week. Yesterday’s incident made it that much sooner. You know I’m here to collect the past-due rent as well as talk about the garage.”

Holly stared at a bare spot on the counter. Heat stung her cheeks, and humiliation draped across her until the butterflies in her stomach begged for release. Four months behind in rent and more than one hundred and twenty days past due on most of her invoices, it had only been a matter of time. She’d just hoped she could get through Christmas and figure out another game plan before she had to close. “I know. Thanks for not bringing it up in front of Cam yesterday.”

“I’d like to think I have more tact than that.”

Her newly designed flyers on the counter caught her attention. Her idea was a good one, and people would hire her. People who came into the shop told her she had a flair for decorating, and she’d learned quite a bit from all the classes she’d taken at the local community college when they’d talked about opening the store. In about an hour, Cameron would come sullenly through the doors after school, and she’d had hopes they could fold, stuff and stamp the envelopes after he’d finished his homework. Unless Ethan gave her a reprieve, they’d have to scrounge boxes from the local market instead.

“I’m sorry. I don’t have the rent. But I’m working on it. I just need a bit more time.” Her voice squeaked and her fingers gripped the counter until her knuckles gleamed white. Jared had died with a life-insurance policy in place, but that had been eaten up by both their medical bills from the car accident, and things had been tough these past two years despite the social-security benefits. The rent due to Ethan had gone toward her mortgage payments, and the payments to her vendors had gone to her utility bills.

His expression remained detached. Unless he held her stuff as collateral, she could still sell the merchandise online and coordinate her decorating services from her home. It wouldn’t be easy, but it was the only fair thing to do. He needed a renter who could pay the rent, and it would be easier for her to not have to worry about it anymore. But to give up Jared’s dream... It would give her more time to focus on her son. She knew what she had to do even though the words were hard to form. “I’ll vacate immediately.”

A kaleidoscope of emotions flickered across his features but didn’t match his words. “How much time do you need?”

Closing her eyes for a brief second, and knowing this was for the best, Holly shuddered at the thought of boxing everything up. Jared’s hopes and dreams packed into a dark world and crowded together, lifeless, with no one to enjoy them. She fingered the carved baby Jesus ornament by the old-fashioned cash register that Jared had given her the day they’d opened the store, determination filling her every movement.

She would find everything in the store a new home and maybe bring in enough money to pay her mortgage and provide her son with a Christmas present this year. Straightening her shoulders, she flipped her hair back and met his gaze. “Well, if I can run a going-out-of-business sale for a few weeks, that should help. The rest I’ll auction off online, along with the trees and fixtures. Today’s November 3. Can I have until the end of the month?”

“Isn’t this supposed to be your busy season?” When Ethan used both hands to pick up the Santa snow globe from the counter and shake it, Holly noticed the scars covering his entire right hand and disappearing under his sleeve. When she saw the nubs where his fingers should have been, she bit her bottom lip. Now she understood his hesitation yesterday about shaking her hand. More heat claimed her cheeks, because she’d assumed he was being rude. What had happened? And did she really want to know?

Yes... No. Holly warred with her answer as compassion filled her. The scars looked fresh, but she didn’t have the time or the energy to open another place in her heart right now. Cameron and her money issues took up just about everything she had. She looked away, and from inside the globe, the jovial old man, the commercial epitome of the season, mocked her with his sack of presents. “It should be, but nothing’s been busy since the economy went south.”

Staring at the bits of white swirling around in the liquid inside the glass, Holly was reminded of her life right now. Drifting along but spiraling downward, resting at the bottom until someone came along and shook things up.

Like Ethan.

Not that she could blame him. Business was business.

When Ethan shook the globe again, she caught him looking at her over the top of the smooth glass. Lines were etched into the skin framing his deep blue eyes, but she sensed he had nothing to laugh about these days, either.

Her breath stalled, leaving her struggling to push away the strange, forgotten emotion gripping her heart. Moments passed before she managed to blink and break the effect he had on her. The snowflakes he’d carried in with him had melted, creating drops of water that glistened in his short, dark, wavy hair and on his jacket. Her instincts were to dust off the moisture so he wouldn’t catch a cold, but she refrained from leaning across the counter and touching him with anything but her gaze. A day’s growth of beard hugged the contours of his strong jaw, the intensity of his expression broken by his slight frown.

“What are these flyers for?” Ethan set the snow globe back on the counter, picked one up, then stared at the words.

Releasing her breath, Holly refocused on what should be the most important thing to her right now—making an income to pay her bills. “It’s an advertisement for a holiday home-decorating service for people who are too busy to do it themselves this time of year.”

“That’s an interesting concept.” Ethan looked around the store pensively. An awkward moment passed between them as another Christmas carol filled the air. “Will it bring in enough money for you to get caught up?”

Holly found herself staring back into Ethan’s blue eyes and felt a current threatening to pull her under. She floundered, trying to free herself from its grasp. Ethan Pellegrino confused her. She shrugged to relieve the tension building in her shoulders and arms. “Honestly? I have no idea, but I have to try.”

The wind kicked up beyond the glass door, which protected them from the cold, even though the temperature seemed to drop inside. She shivered and pulled her black sweater tighter. Snow started to accumulate on the lawn across the street. Maybe she’d close up shop early and try to make it home once Cameron arrived from school. It wasn’t as if she’d have much business this afternoon anyway, and they could take care of the flyers anywhere.

Ethan scraped his good hand through his hair and contemplated his next move. What was another month in the scheme of things? The thirty-six-hundred dollars was just a drop in the bucket of what he needed to operate his dog sanctuary, bring rescued dogs over from Afghanistan and introduce them to, or in some cases reunite them with, their new owners. “You can stay until the end of the year.”

How could he kick her out before Christmas? Not only would he have a hard time reconciling that with God, Ethan also had his mom to contend with. She wouldn’t take too kindly to him evicting the woman during the holidays.

“Thank you.”

Ethan looked away from Holly’s open expression and soft, feminine features to stare at the scars on his hand where his fingers used to be. He’d been one of the lucky ones. Along with the chaplain he was assigned to protect, two of his other comrades in the convoy in Afghanistan had been killed; one of them had been a father and the other a newlywed.

Why the Lord chose those three to die mystified Ethan. If anyone should have been called home, it should have been him. Nobody depended on him or needed him. If anything, he needed someone else since returning home from rehab. Buttoning a shirt and learning to write with his left hand continued to challenge him. Determination forced its way past the dissatisfaction as he shifted and flexed his injured hand. God had a plan for him, and it revolved around the new canine shelter.

“It’s not a problem.” Ethan would find the money owed from the rent elsewhere, especially since in his gut, he knew Holly wouldn’t ever get caught up. Someone said charity began at home. Well, right now this was as close to home as he was going to get. He could still advertise for a renter, but with the three other storefronts available along the main square, it might take a while. As long as Holly made her utilities, what difference was it going to make? Peace settled inside him as he feigned interest again in the snow globe.

Dark blond hair fell to her shoulders and framed her pale face, accentuating the dark circles under her green eyes. The black sweater she clutched around her only made her appear more fragile, as did the fact she barely came up to his shoulder. A light dusting of freckles endeared her to him more than he was comfortable with.

The woman looked as if she needed a break right now. The urge to shelter and protect her almost brought him to his knees. While his stint as an army chaplain’s assistant had come to an end, he couldn’t help who he was. He needed to think of something else.

“So your last name is Stanwyck. I knew a Jared Stanwyck. Any relation?”

When Holly nodded, his hope chose a quick exit.

“My late husband.”

His mom had told him about Jared’s car accident a few years back, but she’d failed to mention he’d left behind a wife and son. Another reason he couldn’t evict her any sooner than the end of the year. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Thanks. How did you know him?”

At her lost expression, his heartbeat accelerated. He picked up the carved wooden ornament sitting by the cash register. It was better than the similar one Jared had done in high school during shop class, but he’d recognize the talent anywhere. “We grew up a few blocks from each other and played ball together in school, but pretty much lost touch after graduation. I went into the military. He went to Northern Arizona University.” He stared at her and then his injured hand. “If anyone... Never mind. I see Jared’s work got better.”

“It did. I used to have a lot of his stuff here, but it’s all sold, except for one of his earlier pieces. I’m sorry for your loss, as well.”

“Thanks.” Ethan put the figurine back down and his attention strayed to the empty fireplace along the wall, where she’d hung a few stockings, with more placed in the nook built beside it. The store had a pleasant feel and smell to it. As soon as he finished with the dog areas, he could use some advice on how to decorate the reception area he had in mind for Beyond the Borders Dog Sanctuary so it would look nice when he welcomed owners either dropping off or picking up their dogs.

He sniffed in the scent of cinnamon and listened to the sound of another Christmas carol coming over the speakers behind the counter. Lights twinkled on various-size fake trees, each pine with its own different theme. Larger ornaments interspersed with snowflakes hung from the ceiling, and wreaths of all sizes hung on the walls. Shelves lined the back walls, but even from here, Ethan could see they lacked merchandise.

He sensed Holly was in more financial distress than just behind in her rent and wondered if she was even going to make it through the holidays. The closer he inspected the store, the more gaps he found on the trees, shelves and walls. Would her last-ditch effort to set up decorations for other people work?

He hoped so. Even though he needed the rent money for his shelter, it wouldn’t be coming from here. He’d already made up his mind and couldn’t immediately evict his friend’s widow. What a mess. He refocused on the snow globe with the Santa figure. Picking it up, he shook it again, creating a flurry of activity inside. The turbulence suited his mood.

“How much is this?”

“Twenty-four ninety-nine. I have others if you’d like to see them. They’re right this way.”

Holly had no idea why she prolonged Ethan’s visit. She should be shooing him out the door so she could free herself from his closeness and plan her going-out-of-business strategy before Cameron showed up. Somehow she knew Ethan wasn’t quite ready to leave yet, and all of a sudden she wanted his company to chase away the loneliness inside the shop.

Staring at the shelf along the back wall that contained what was left of her snow-globe merchandise, she wondered why the pretty glass orbs were her favorites. Was it because of the intricate work inside? The bright colors in some, the muted colors in others? The idea that each time she shook up the make-believe snow, she created a new scene?

She picked up one with a happy family opening presents on Christmas morning inside. Turning the key on the bottom, she wound the music box, shook the globe and set it back on the shelf, the strains of “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” keeping time with the swirling snow.

Ethan stirred next to her. He obviously wasn’t comfortable with her choice, either.

He picked up one containing the manger scene. Ethan fumbled for a moment as he tried to turn the crank on the bottom to listen to the music inside, but without his fingers, the task was impossible until he flipped it into his injured hand and used the good one to start the music.

“What happened to your hand?”

Disgust, sadness and resignation flickered through his eyes as he looked at her, but his expression remained immobile. Holly forgot to breathe. In that quick instant his pain was her own—the death of a dream, a shattered life struggling to mend, a man trying to continue on as if nothing had happened, and yet in a flash everything had changed.

She knew it well. “I’m sorry. Forget that I asked.”

“It’s okay, Holly. You’re not the first to ask and you won’t be the last.” Setting the snow globe back down on the shelf, Ethan pulled up the sleeve of his dress shirt, exposing more scarring that went to his elbow. “It looks a lot better than it did a few months ago. I served as an army chaplain’s assistant in Afghanistan.”

“What’s that?” Holly never took her eyes off the man’s arm. She wasn’t repulsed, but she wasn’t comfortable, either. Some people wore their scars on the outside, others on the inside and others in both ways.

“I was a bodyguard to whatever chaplain I was assigned to. This time it was a pastor, but I’ve protected rabbis and priests. We were heading out from our base camp when our convoy encountered a roadside IED. I was one of the lucky ones. The chaplain and two soldiers were killed along with two innocent civilians.”

“What’s an IED?”

“Improvised explosive device. It’s technical words for a bomb.”

“I’m so sorry. That must have been horrible for you.” Holly knew there was more to the story than just the spoken words, yet she dared not ask. Having closed off her emotions after Jared’s death, Holly refused to let them open up again.

“I saw a lot of horrible things over there.” Ethan looked as if he wanted to say more about that subject, but his expression closed again and she could almost see his thoughts shift. She braced herself for the next topic of why he was in the store. “Now, about the garage. I’ll expect Cameron at eight.”

“That works for me, but Cameron will be a bit testy that early in the morning.”

“He’s almost a teenager. I wouldn’t expect anything less. It will be good for him.” Ethan cracked a smile and studied the manger inside the snow globe again. “I’ll take this one.”

“But you don’t have to buy anything.”

“I don’t have to—I want to.” Back at the counter, he handed her his credit card, giving Holly her fourth transaction of the day. It wouldn’t meet her overhead, but it would help cover something. When she went to wrap it up, he put his good hand on her arm, causing her heart to flutter. “It’s a gift for you. We all have troubles, Holly. Sometimes it helps to know that we don’t have to carry them alone.”


Chapter Two

What had Ethan been thinking? Holly needed money, not a manger scene inside a snow globe. The irony that they were both in the same position but for different reasons would have struck him as funny if things weren’t so complicated. Somehow, though, the action seemed right. For a moment, he saw behind her mask of exhaustion and fear and glimpsed the beautiful, caring, compassionate and vulnerable woman underneath.

The kind of woman Jared would fall for. He could, too, if that was what he wanted.

But wanting to protect her when he had to be part of her problem? Sure, he hadn’t been the cause of her financial woes, but deep down he knew that being behind in her bills bothered her and he felt like a cad. His mom would have never gone over there and asked for the back rent. As soon as he met Holly Stanwyck, he knew he wasn’t going to get it from her. Even if she did somehow come up with it, he wasn’t sure he would take it and hoped her idea for the holiday decorating service panned out because she needed money.

The woman also needed some divine intervention right now. He’d add her to his prayers tonight and ask his mother to do the same. Knowing Nan, though, Holly was already on the list.

He slammed his car door shut. As a career soldier forced out because of his injuries, he’d never make it in the civilian world if he didn’t toughen up. Right. He was just a big softy, regardless of which side he was on. He’d always had pieces of candy in his pocket for the Afghan children and biscuits for the stray dogs. Now he was opening a sanctuary for dogs to stay while their owners served on foreign soil and to help transport stray dogs adopted by servicemen overseas and reunite them stateside.

Head down to keep the lingering snowflakes from his eyes, and hands bunched inside his coat pockets, he headed toward home and the kennels in the enclosed porch of his house in town that he used as the temporary sanctuary. The permanent one was going to be at his family’s farmhouse outside of town, but it needed to be refurbished before he could take the dogs out there. He needed money to do that; some of it he’d hoped to get from Holly. Now he’d have to look elsewhere, since his disability checks barely covered anything.

The lemon scent of cleaner and varied barks greeted him when he walked through the double French doors off the back porch.

“How’d it go?” Meredith, his cousin and fellow board member of Beyond the Borders Dog Sanctuary, greeted him.

“As well as I suspected. There won’t be any funds coming from the store anytime soon.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. Holly’s such a nice woman. She’s just had a lot to deal with lately.”

Ethan didn’t bother to mention the incident with the garage door, seeing as he suspected Meredith was the one who had leaked the eviction information to the wrong person. He loved his cousin, but after being away so long, he’d forgotten her fondness for spreading gossip.

“Anything new with the little girl?” Ethan changed the subject. He didn’t want to think about Holly anymore, or the tangible energy that had made the short hairs on the back of his neck stand at attention when his hand grazed hers as he gave her the snow globe. Meredith sat inside the kennel, stroking the little black-and-white mutt’s head, and he saw the bandages covering both front legs where the dog had licked away all her fur.

“Pudding Cup will be fine. It’s just nerves. She misses her mom.”

“How about the big guy I brought in to Tim?” He’d found the injured stray mix huddled on the side of the road yesterday, and it reminded him of one of the dogs their patrol had rescued from the cruelty of an Afghan family. He couldn’t ignore the mutt and had thoughts about keeping him, despite the fact Ethan needed to stick to his mission statement. There were other shelters in the area that took in homeless and abandoned dogs.

“He’s going to be just fine. Tim thinks he’s found a home for him already, so he said not to worry about the bill.” Meredith was engaged to the local veterinarian, who also sat on the board and was willing to take care of any of their animals for cost.

“I’ll have to stop by and thank him.” And make sure the animal was going to a good home. Okay, so he was a sucker for dogs and kids and apparently widows behind on their rent.

Ethan rubbed his hand across his stubbly chin. “Anything else?”

“Yep.” Meredith rose to her feet, causing Pudding Cup to whimper and follow her to the gate. “Another stray is being shipped over from Afghanistan, courtesy of your buddy Phil, along with the other one. Duggan and Jasper arrive Saturday, as do two more dogs on Wednesday. Their owners ship out next Friday.”

“Great.” Ethan wiped the snowflake residue from his face. His six temporary accommodations were more than full. With four more dogs coming in, he would be over capacity at seven, even though the two from Afghanistan would only be temporary until he could reunite them with their owners, who’d arrived home from their tour of duty last month. He could spill out into his living room, but he’d be over the limit and need a kennel license that much sooner. “Where am I going to put them?”

“Whose brilliant idea was it to provide a home for displaced animals when their owners left?”

“Mine, and you know it’s a good one. It’s one less thing for our local service men and women to think about while they’re doing their tour. Most are fortunate to have family to take care of them, but not all.” Ethan had started his studies to be a lay minister and had often counseled some of the enlisted men when the need arose. Leaving their pets behind ranked pretty high up there behind family, especially when they had to dump their companion in a shelter.

Being distracted could get a person killed. He knew that firsthand.

He stared at the nubs on his hand and tried to feel the forgiveness. The emotion refused to come. Five people died that day, and he wrestled with the guilt. Despite the fact he was assigned to protect the chaplain, he felt a responsibility to everyone he traveled with. He should have seen the IED. He knew the signs to look for. A strange vehicle on the side of the road, the wink of light reflecting off the camera lens set up to film the incident, the uneasy feeling harbored inside his gut because of the delay in getting the convoy started.

But he’d been distracted.

None of that mattered now.

What mattered as he stared at his scars and searched for forgiveness was that God had a plan for him. And it revolved around the sanctuary and taking care of man’s best friend.

“You’re just a bleeding-heart softy. That’s what I love about you.” Meredith gave him a hug. “I’ll take Pudding Cup with me. I like the little girl, and Tim says it’s no problem for me to drop her off at his office during the day. I think she’ll recover quicker from her abandonment issues, so that frees up one kennel and then you’ll have enough.”

“Thanks. I appreciate that.” For what seemed the first time that day, he smiled. Meredith was more like a sister than a cousin, and with a job in sales and marketing, she was an invaluable part of the team he’d selected for the board. He’d also asked her fiancé, Tim, and his mom because she owned the property that would house the permanent sanctuary. He should find one other person, to make the numbers odd in case they needed a tiebreaker, and he had yet to find someone with accounting experience so he could concentrate on the dogs and managing the sanctuary.

Things had happened so quickly. He’d probably gone about this the wrong way by accepting animals before he was ready, but the alternative would have been for his first resident, Sadie, to end up in the pound. It would work out. God’s plan had been revealed to him during those long hours in the hospital and continued to be revealed daily.

Pudding Cup treated him to a good licking when he bent and scratched her behind her ears. Bear, the black Lab who had alerted him to yesterday’s graffiti artists, whined and pawed at the metal fencing of his kennel, begging for attention. “I’ll be right there, boy.” His gaze scoured the cramped area again. “I need money to expand and move everything out to the farm.”

“Keep praying. It’ll happen. We’ll get the grant money and more private funding. You’ll see.” Meredith picked up Pudding Cup and squeezed her gently. “Oh, there’s one other thing.” By the hesitant smile registered on her lips, Ethan knew he wasn’t going to like the next words out of his cousin’s mouth. “We’re also getting a ferret. Seems like one of the dogs arriving Saturday thinks it’s her baby. I told Private Smith it would be okay.”

“But we agreed this would be strictly dogs. It’s called Beyond the Borders Dog Sanctuary.”

Meredith crossed her arms over her chest and stared at him darkly. “Then change it to Beyond the Borders Animal Sanctuary. As a member of the board, I have the right to speak up, as well. How can you break up a family? What kind of peace of mind would our soldier get if he didn’t know both his pets were safe while he was away? I suspect we’ll be getting calls for cats soon, too.”

Ethan shoved his hand through his hair. “No. Absolutely not. No cats.”

“We’ll see about that.” She gave him a dark look. “Just because you have a personal issue with the cute, cuddly creatures doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have the same consideration as dogs. They are all God’s creatures.”

“I’m well aware of that. I’m okay with cats. I just don’t understand them. They need to go elsewhere. I’m having enough trouble raising the money and supplies for dogs.” His cousin’s scowl grew. Half Irish with red hair to match, Meredith was a force to be reckoned with when she was angry. “I’m not going to win this argument, am I?”

She shook her head. “They make medicine for that, you know. I’ll make a cat lover out of you yet. I’ve gotta run, but I’ll be back after dinner to help you walk them and transition Bear and Sadie for the night. You really need to get some volunteers in here, though, when the other dogs arrive.”

“I’ll work on it.” Another item to add to his list of things to do for the shelter that grew longer, not shorter, with each passing day. And now to complicate things, he had a whole separate issue to think about.

Holly Stanwyck refused to budge from his mind.

* * *

Shadows from the early-morning sun stretched across the road in front of them as Holly drove to the other side of town Saturday morning. The digital clock in her car read 7:57 a.m. and she still had ten minutes to go according to Ethan’s directions. Holly disliked being late. The scheduled 7:45 departure time shouldn’t have been an issue, since she was an early riser. Too bad her son had other ideas. Holly had let him sleep as long as possible, but he still looked wiped out from the week, disgruntled and a bit dejected. He’d given her a hard time about getting up.

Instead of going to the early church service tomorrow, they’d catch the later one. Not that she really wanted to go, but she had to, for Cam’s sake. It hadn’t worked these past few months, but maybe being in the Lord’s house would straighten him out since she hadn’t been able to get through to him. She glanced sideways at her son and caught the scowl underneath the perfected look of boredom. Nothing seemed to have remained from his childhood, and her heart ached at the thought of how things used to be before Jared died.

So much had changed since the accident. Especially the past year.

Holly tried to lighten the mood inside her old Honda. “Mindy’s manning the shop today.” The high-school student worked for her part-time because Holly couldn’t work seven days a week, keep sane and keep Cameron out of trouble, which apparently wasn’t working very well. She couldn’t really afford the student, but Holly hated asking her friends to continually pitch in. “I need to stop in and check on a few things, but any ideas on what you’d like to do after we finish at Mr. Pellegrino’s house?”

“I wanna ride the quad again.” He folded his arms across his chest and glared at her.

“You know we don’t have them anymore.” To help pay their medical bills, she’d sold both ATVs after Jared died.

“That’s what I want to do. Patrick tells me they have two. You can let me go home with him after we’re finished.”

“You know that’s not going to happen. Besides, we don’t even know if they’re coming today to help. They never responded to my phone call.” Her fingers gripped the steering wheel a little harder as she turned the corner and merged with the rest of the local and tourist vehicles heading through the downtown area. She couldn’t imagine not communicating with another parent had the roles been reversed. But then again, she had no idea what was going on inside Patrick’s home, and she had never met his parents.

Silence accompanied them the last five minutes to Ethan’s house, where he waited for them outside by the garage with a can of paint and painting supplies. Arms crossed, he paced the small cement area in front of the 1960s-style single-story brick ranch house.

“Good morning.” Holly spoke as soon as she exited the car. Too bad her inability to get her bearings had nothing to do with the sudden movement and everything to do with the man in the old T-shirt underneath his worn camouflage jacket and faded jeans. He still wore the same compassionate look he’d had inside her shop the other day, but underneath she sensed his uncertainty and awkwardness that probably stemmed from his injury in Afghanistan.

“Good morning.” His gaze swept over her fleece-lined jacket and then back to her face, making her feel a bit self-conscious. A half smile broke the tension. “I’m glad you’re here.”

Heat consumed her cheeks. “Sorry we’re late. I should have called. I would never back out on a promise or commitment. We just had a hard time getting out of the house this morning.” She glanced around the driveway, not surprised to see her car the sole vehicle. “I take it Patrick isn’t here?”

“Not yet.”

“Then he probably won’t show. I was only able to leave a message for his parents, and they never called back.” Sorrow and a touch of anger burrowed into her heart. From what she’d gleaned from Cam’s conversation the night of the incident, the idea had been Patrick’s and so had the spray paint, but her son was just as guilty for going along with the plan.

“That’s not your problem. I should have contacted them myself. Ready? After Cameron removes the graffiti, it shouldn’t take that long to paint, but we may have to do two coats. We should be finished by eleven. If you need to leave earlier, I can drop Cameron off at the store.”

“We? I thought this was Cameron’s job.”

“It is.” Ethan rubbed his chin with the back of his hand, drawing her gaze along with it. “But I somehow feel responsible. If my cousin hadn’t mentioned my hastily spoken words—about evicting the tenant because of the back rent—to her best friend, the busybody of Dynamite Creek, your son wouldn’t have heard it from his classmate.”

She looked at the black spray paint on the light brown wooden door. Holly nodded. “I see. Look, I understand your position. You need someone in there who can pay the rent, and being behind usually results in eviction. I get that. Now, as for the door, you’re right, it would go much quicker if we all helped, especially because you haven’t seen Cam paint yet.” She glanced back at her car. Her son still sat hunched in the front seat. “Today, Cameron. The sooner you get started, the sooner you get finished.”

Cam sulked as he stepped from the passenger seat and shuffled toward them. The preteen residing in his body screamed attitude. Holly needed to get a handle on him before he towered above her with his next growth spurt.

Ethan gave Cameron a pair of black work gloves. “Here, put these on.”

“For painting?”

“You’re going to remove the spray paint first. I doubt the paint for the garage door will cover the black markings very well.” After kneeling down, Ethan wedged the yellow bottle with red lettering into the crook of his arm and used his good hand to open the top.

“What’s that?” Cameron yanked on the gloves.

“It’s supposed to remove the graffiti.” Ethan poured some liquid onto a rag, set the bottle down, stood and then handed the cloth to Cam. “Just start rubbing the painted areas. It should come off.”

“Me?”

“Of course.” He winked at Holly, making her heart flutter until she tamped down on the emotion. Despite the two years that had passed since his death, her heart belonged to Jared.

“You’re the one who did it. I’m here to supervise, not do the job for you. Your mom, either. Just be careful you don’t get it on your skin or clothes.” Folding his arms over his chest, Ethan stepped back.

What? she mouthed, raising her eyebrows and tilting her head to the side. Ethan put a finger to his lips and motioned for her to take a few steps back.

Once they were out of hearing distance, he leaned close to her ear, the warmth of his breath creating havoc with her breathing. “We’ll help with the painting. This part is a lesson the boy needs to learn for himself.”

“Sounds like you have experience,” Holly replied softly as she inched away, needing to distance herself.

“I do. I wasn’t exactly a choirboy in my youth.” A fraction of a smile tugged at his lips, and his gaze slipped back to her son begrudgingly rubbing the saturated cloth over the paint.

“Really. What did you do?”

“Pretty much the same thing. I tagged a neighbor’s garage door because he was old and crotchety. Back then, I didn’t get to use any sort of remover. I had to sand the area first, apply a primer and then four coats of paint. Took nearly the whole weekend.”

“Did you learn your lesson?”

“That was just one of many.”

And yet it looked as if Ethan had managed to turn his life around, go into the service and almost die for his country. Her gaze flickered to his injured hand again and wondered if it still hurt and how he managed to do the day-to-day stuff that required two sets of fingers, but she was too polite to ask. Besides, that would mean opening up her heart again to the possibilities of establishing some sort of friendship or relationship with him, and that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon.

“This stuff smells like your nail-polish remover, Mom, but it really works. Look. The paint is almost all gone.” Cam broke into her thoughts, dragging them back to the garage door. A slight stain still clung to the beige paint, but it was much less noticeable now. She breathed a sigh of relief, realizing they wouldn’t be there all day as she’d anticipated.

“Pretty much. Now you need to rinse the residue off. Then while it’s drying I’ll show you around.”

“Show us around?” Cam dropped the cloth on the newspaper protecting the driveway and yanked off the gloves.

“I’m opening a sanctuary for dogs while their owners are overseas.”

“Dogs? Really? I wish we had a dog, not a stupid, silly cat.”

Holly heard the criticism and hurt spew from Cam’s lips. Her mouth opened and shut quickly as the blood now drained from her cheeks. Any words she could even think to say caught in her throat as she stared at her son and gulped for air. The person standing next to Ethan bore little resemblance to the sweet, innocent boy she remembered.

“Your dad brought Figaro home.” That was all Holly managed to say. Pain ate through her heart again, and tears hovered behind her eyelids. How could she explain to her son that the cat was more than just a cat? Figaro was another link to the past she’d shared with Jared, just as Cam was.

Ethan broke the uneasy silence. “Cats are wonderful creatures and just one of God’s many creations, Cameron. Pets come in all shapes, sizes and colors. The same as people. God made us all unique. He loves us all the same, despite our differences.”

Holly squirmed at Ethan’s mention of God. Of course, she should expect no less from a chaplain’s assistant, but it made her uncomfortable, especially since she went through the motions for Cam’s sake but didn’t really believe or love the way she was supposed to.

“I want a dog that can play fetch.”

Ethan caught the defiant look the boy threw at his mother, and a subtle change hovered in the air between them. Clouds drifted in front of the sun, blocking out its temporary warmth, and the wind kicked up a notch, intensifying the clang of the wind chime on the front porch of his neighbor’s house. Holly’s soft gasp met his ears as her light floral fragrance drifted under his nose. Her stricken expression told him more than any words she could speak. The tagging incident aside, the boy was headed for trouble if there wasn’t some kind of intervention.

He liked kids, had a special rapport with them. He’d started training as a lay minister after he joined the military, where he had high hopes of saving the world. He hadn’t. Instead, five people had paid the ultimate price. But this wasn’t about him, the pastor or the two soldiers and civilians with God now. Saving the entire world was His job. Opening the dog sanctuary and maybe helping a troubled boy find the right path in life was something Ethan could handle. Maybe. It was the least he could do for Jared. For Holly.

A thought struck him as he turned on the spigot, yanked the hose to the garage door and then passed it off to Cameron. Ethan knew he should check with Holly first, but he had only so much time to get through to the boy. “I have a solution.”

“What?” Both she and Cameron spoke at the same time.

“I need a volunteer or two to work at the dog sanctuary. Cameron can come after school. He’ll stay out of trouble, I’ll get some much-needed help and the dogs will have someone to play with. He could ride the bus here after school. What do you think?”

“Really?”

“Really. Why play with one dog when you can play with several?” Encouraged by the hope blazing in the boy’s eyes, Ethan shot a look at Holly and saw her cross her arms and draw her lips tight.

“Can I, Mom?”

“What about his homework?”

Ethan understood this was about more than just homework. She’d already lost her husband; this was about her son’s safety. Despite his being her landlord, she didn’t know him from any other stranger in town. He’d reassure her while Cameron rinsed off the door.

A strand of hair had fallen free from her ponytail and accentuated the curve of her jawline. Her soft lips graced him with a tentative smile, and her green eyes made him think of his childhood and rolling in cool, thick grass on a hot summer day. Ethan almost forgot why he stood in front of his garage. Almost. He pulled his gaze from her and refocused back on the boy and safer territory. Something about Holly brought out his protective side that, despite what had happened in Afghanistan, was a part of him that refused to go away. And that extended to her son, too.

“I’ll make sure he gets his homework done.”

“And how will he get home afterward?”

“I’ll drive him there.”

“I don’t know...” Holly felt the weight of two pairs of eyes staring at her. This twist threw another item she had to deal with into her already-crowded mind. Pressure simmered underneath the surface.

“Please, Mom?” Cam begged her.

“Rinse off the door and give me a moment.”

Holly should have realized her son wanted a dog. She did know that she couldn’t handle the added expense or the time commitment, although the idea of helping out at the shelter was brilliant. Had her monetary worries removed her that far from her son’s life? Had she been so focused on getting through each day that she had lost touch with what was the most important to her?

Yes.

Holly didn’t like the answer that popped into her head. She didn’t understand her son anymore. Jared would have told her to take her troubles to the Lord. Easier said than done. Holly blamed Him for taking her husband away from her.

Cameron quickly squirted the water onto the door and washed away the paint residue and chemicals. Then he handed the hose back to Ethan. “I’ll get my homework done. I won’t get into any trouble and I won’t ask for a dog again. Please?”

Put like that, how could she say no? Easily. Her alternatives, though, were wondering how to keep Cameron away from Patrick or dealing with her son’s sulking expression in the store after school. It would make him happy, settle the issue of Patrick and help Ethan out at the same time. In a way, she owed it to her landlord for letting her stay in the shop until after Christmas.

She still had to deal with the fact that she didn’t even know Ethan that well. But he had to be good. He was a Christian, retired from the military and had once been Jared’s friend. Plus he was Nan Emrey’s son, and she’d never had any issues or concerns with the older woman. Her gut told her it would be okay, but it wouldn’t hurt to ask around about him tomorrow just in case. She could always change her mind if necessary.

“Fine. We’ll try it out for a week. I’ll pick him up, though, after I close the shop. Now shake on the deal and...” Holly turned to face Ethan, the last of her words garbled in her throat. Blood pooled in her cheeks.

This time Ethan had no problem putting out his hand as if almost daring Cameron to touch it.

“What happened to you, Mr. Pellegrino?” Cameron’s eyes widened as he stared at Ethan’s hand. His own hovered in the space around his head.

A muffled silence filled the space until Holly’s strangled voice cut into it. “Cameron. Where are your manners?” Yet she’d asked the same question days earlier.

“Does it hurt?”

“Cameron Jared Stanwyck. Enough.” Holly clenched her fists.

Ethan ignored her outburst and leaned toward her son. “Not so much anymore, but when the cold seeps in, it does bother me somewhat.”

Flexing his thumb, the only remaining digit on his hand, Ethan stretched it toward Cameron. “Go ahead. You can touch it.” He gave her a no-nonsense expression. “I’ve found talking about it instead of ignoring it helps.”

When his gaze caught hers, Holly had a hard time remembering her name. His startling blue eyes had turned into deep, mysterious pools of uncharted waters, challenging her. She fought to gain control over her emotions. What was happening to her?

“Feels weird. How do you write and stuff like that?”

Holly’s gaze remained averted, but she sensed Ethan’s attention shift to her son. “I’m relearning that, or I do it with my left hand. It hasn’t been easy, but I’ve discovered you can teach an old dog a new trick. Speaking of which, come on. I bet Bear is just waiting to learn something new today.”

“Bear?”

“A black Lab that’s going to be here for at least a year. He loves to play fetch with an old tennis ball. The temporary sanctuary’s in the house until I can move it to the family farm outside of town.”

When Cam ran ahead of them, Ethan faced Holly again and held out his injured hand. “Here. Your turn. We may as well get this out of the way, since I’m guessing I’ll be seeing a lot of you when you pick Cameron up.”

Seeing each other? Holly had no plans on that. She would make sure that Cameron waited for her outside.

“Holly?”

Blinking, she forced her thoughts back to the present. She inhaled sharply. She’d tried to keep from staring earlier, but her gaze had kept returning to his injured hand. She was curious. But to touch it?

Swallowing, Holly reached out. She stopped short. It seemed too intimate a gesture for someone she hardly knew, despite the fact Ethan and Jared had gone to school together. “I’m really not comfortable with this.”

“And I’m not going to be comfortable with the idea of seeing the questions in your eyes all the time.”

“But—”

“It looks worse than it really is, but I understand.” Ethan shrugged and stared at his hand as he withdrew. “It does take getting used to.”

“I’m sorry, Ethan.”

Holly felt his pain again behind his mask of indifference, confirming there was more going on inside him than he let on. The bomb had taken more than just his fingers and five lives. It left behind a shell of a man, struggling to deal with everyday life. He suffered the survivor’s guilt that ate away at the soul like a moth devoured clothing.

Holly wore it every day like a piece of her wardrobe.

She should have never insisted that she and Jared attend the Chamber of Commerce function when the weather forecaster had predicted the cold snap that would turn the melted snow into ice. But how was she to know in that brief moment she took her eyes from the road that the argument would be their last?


Chapter Three

Disappointment pooled around Ethan’s shoulders as silence accompanied them to where Cameron stood impatiently by the back door. Holly’s son had taken Ethan’s injured hand in stride with the curiosity he’d expect from a child. Holly’s reaction bothered him, even though it shouldn’t. He didn’t see the revulsion in her eyes like he had with others, but even now he noticed that her feet angled away from him and she stepped in close proximity to Cameron.

Why had he insisted she touch his hand? Why had he openly challenged her? What difference would it make in the scheme of things? She was his tenant for now, and in less than two months that would change. Then, of course, there was Cameron. But who knew whether that arrangement would last more than a week? More discontent filled him as he stared at the nubs. He didn’t understand his actions himself, but he couldn’t go back and change things.

If he could, the injury and loss of life would have never happened.

Let go, let God. The voice of the pastor who’d visited him daily in the hospital echoed in his brain. Four simple words; three if you didn’t count the repeated one. Was it really that easy? He’d studied God’s word, yet he found himself struggling to follow His commands. Let go, let God.

Ethan had no choice. In order to embrace the future, the past had to be forgiven and forgotten. Starting today.

“Come on in.” He opened the back door and ushered them inside. Warmth spilled around them, along with the scent of lemon, antiseptic and dog. He heard a happy whine as he flipped the light switch, evicting the dimness from the west-facing room.

Nudging the door shut with his shoulder, he glanced around the small white kitchen, realizing the only color came from Holly’s red sweatshirt. Nothing adorned the walls but a small black-and-white clock. Even the white curtains on the window over the sink blended into the background, as did the few appliances on the equally white Formica counter.

He’d packed up all his stuff and rented out the house while he was overseas, and hadn’t made the time to unpack the boxes he’d pulled from storage and left in the garage. His house was just a house and not the home he’d left behind. But then again a lot of things had changed. He’d changed. Used to the constant company of people around him for the past several years, the quietness of his surroundings now, other than the two dogs, grated on his nerves.

He’d find the time today to breathe life back into his house.

Another whine sounded from the other room, louder this time since Bear had heard their voices. This time Sadie joined in along with the noise of the chain-link fence rattling as the dogs tried to escape their enclosures.

“Are they this way?” Excitement buried the indifference in Cameron’s voice. Good. The boy hadn’t gone too far down the wrong path yet. He could work with the spray-paint incident and the few other problems that simmered under the surface.

Maybe this was part of the Lord’s plan for Ethan, as well. He’d had an old neighbor’s intervention in his teens that helped steer him in the right direction. Now it was time for him to pay it back, not only with Cameron but with other boys, as well—Patrick being one of them if he ever showed up.

“Right through that doorway. Hang on, though. Let me get you some treats for them.” Ethan grabbed a box from the pantry, pulled out two bone-shaped dog snacks and then handed them to Cameron. Anticipation created a tangible energy inside the small kitchen, and he knew he’d made the right decision to have the boy help him with the dogs. Holly’s signature light floral fragrance mingled with the other scents lingering in the air. He wouldn’t turn down her assistance, either, if she decided she wanted to help in some capacity.

“Thanks, Mr. Pellegrino.”

It felt right to have Holly and her son inside his home. They added warmth and companionship that were missing between the four walls. Possessions didn’t make a home. People did. But allowing others into his life again besides his immediate family meant protecting them. Bile burned his throat and he flexed his throbbing hand, feeling the impression of fingers where none remained. Protecting people was something he wasn’t good at anymore. So why the offer to have Cameron help him out?

Because right now, the need to think about the boy’s well-being overruled everything else.

“You’re welcome. This way. They’re in the Arizona room.” Ethan slipped past his guests and into the area to his left that used to be the back porch before the previous owner enclosed it. Six kennels filled the space, all lined up like soldiers during inspection.

But this was only temporary. As soon as he found more funding, he’d be moving to the permanent sanctuary outside of town. The vision of twenty-four more inside the old barn on the farm property filled his mind’s eye as well as the big dog run in the pasture.

Focus on the future.

Cameron shook off his mother’s grasp and ran to the first kennel. A smile broke out as he put his hand out for the black Lab to smell. Good. The kid knew how to approach a dog. And he showed an interest in them and an apparent love for them as he reached through the bars and scratched the dog behind his ears. That would make their time together go a bit smoother.

He glanced at Holly and momentarily lost himself in her presence. With her hair pulled back in a ponytail and no makeup to cover her smooth, delicate skin, she looked to be in her mid-twenties even though he figured her to be closer to his thirty-five years. The swept-back locks exposed her long, elegant neck and, from this angle, a straight, slightly upturned nose. But it was her vulnerability that got to him.

Despite her attempts to keep it all together, he sensed just below the surface she suffered and struggled with her son, the shop, everyday life. Ethan also knew he hadn’t made it any easier on her, but he had his own dreams and issues. His gaze fell on his hand. Sometimes sugarcoating things didn’t help; it only made matters worse. He’d given her to the end of the year, and his offer to help her son would still be available to both of them as long as the arrangement continued to work out.

He should step away and draw himself inward. Instead, when she turned her head toward him, he found himself staring into her deep green eyes that had seen so much pain. A pain he could identify with. He’d lost his father at a young age, and several of his friends in Afghanistan. He could identify with the hollowness, the gaping hole, the huge cavity filled with darkness that even these days God’s light had a hard time driving away. But even that couldn’t compare to losing one’s partner, one’s soul mate.

He had no experience with that sort of loss, yet he felt the need to comfort. Protect. He wanted to draw Holly into his arms, absorb her pain and blend it with his own.

“What’s his name?”

Ethan blinked at Cameron’s words, stepped backward and concentrated on the dog as Holly knelt down by her son. He folded his arms across his chest and leaned against the door frame. “That’s Bear. He’ll be with me for at least a year. He likes to play ball. I’ve already taken him out for a walk, but in between the coats of paint, maybe you can let him run around the yard a bit and throw him a couple of balls.”

“Hi, Bear.” Laughter spilled from the boy’s lips as the dog tried to lick his face through the metal fencing. In that instant, Ethan realized another thing that had been missing from his life. Not that he’d had anything to laugh about. That would change going forward. He flexed what remained of his right hand again, determined not to let anything stop him from his goals.

And maybe find love in the process.

A strange emotion gripped Ethan as he squatted down beside Holly outside the kennel of the cocker spaniel/heeler mix next to Bear. The tan-and-white spotted dog with the droopy ears stared up at them with big brown eyes. Love? Something as complicated as that was meant for guys like her late husband, not someone who would probably have nightmares of what happened in Afghanistan for the rest of his life, or carry the guilt of five deaths around his neck like a yoke.

“This one here is Sadie. She’ll be here for almost two years.” God willing he’d still be open then. More delays in funding meant he would have to pull more money out of his savings account to continue the renovations, because with more dogs coming in, he had to have more room.

“She’s adorable,” Holly whispered. He noticed her gaze dart toward Cameron, who had wedged his hand between the metal bars of the cage door and continued to scratch Bear behind his ears. “Maybe I should consider getting Cam a dog. In the future.” Her sigh washed over him, filling him with that need to protect her from her thoughts. Ironically, he was part of the problem, not the solution, since her reprieve lasted until just after the holidays.

“Where are the rest of the dogs?” Cameron asked.

“Two dogs are showing up this afternoon and the other two arrive next week.”

“What happens if you get another dog? There won’t be any room.” Holly turned to face him.

“I’m well aware of that. I’ll have plenty of room once I move to the permanent place.”

“But in order to move there, you need money. Like the rent from the storefront.” Holly dipped her head and clenched her fists. But when she made eye contact with him again, resolve and resignation slid into her eyes. “What you’re doing is a noble thing, Ethan. I’ll vacate immediately so you can get another renter in there.”

“It’s going to take a lot more than those kinds of funds. The past-due rent isn’t going to make that much of a difference. My original offer still stands. You have until December 31.”

For a moment Ethan stared at the empty kennels and again envisioned himself in his new place with twenty-four kennels occupied and his sanctuary fully operational. Somehow he sensed the woman who barely grazed his shoulder and the boy kneeling in front of the other kennel would play an intricate role in this if he managed to pull it off.

The Lord worked in mysterious ways.

“Come on, the door should be dry by now. Let’s put the primer on and then we’ll come back and take the dogs outside for a bit.”

“Aw, just a few more minutes?” Cameron whined.

“We’ll come back.” Ethan held his ground. The integral part of the intervention was taking a firm hand and making sure the preteen knew who was boss.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, they all stepped back and looked at their handiwork. Holly grinned and scratched the back of her neck. “Now I know why I leave the painting to the professionals. Your area looks much better than mine.”

“And mine.” Cameron plopped his brush back into the paint tray.

“It’s primer. It won’t matter, anyway. Not once the topcoat goes on. I’ll show you a quick, easy way to do it when we get to that step.”

“It’s a good thing you placed cardboard along the bottom. It saved the concrete driveway from the wayward drops.”

“Yeah, it’s a lesson learned the hard way.” Ethan grabbed the brushes and rollers to rinse off with the hose. “If you study the driveway enough, you’ll see the drops of paint from the first time I painted it six years ago when I bought the house. No matter how careful you are, you always make mistakes.”

Funny. He could forgive himself for certain mistakes, but not others. But then again, a little paint on the concrete couldn’t even compare to five people losing their lives because he was distracted. Careless.

If only he could wash away his guilt as quickly as he did the primer. The stream of water cleared. After shutting off the tap, he stood and shook everything out. “Good job, Cameron. We’ll make a painter out of you yet. There’ll be lots of painting needed in the new offices of the sanctuary. What do you say? Wanna come on board?”

“Sounds like too much work. Can I go back and play with Bear now?”

Ethan couldn’t help but smile. At least the kid was honest. Cameron would probably rather go to the dentist than do any more painting, but at least he had energy for the dogs. Exercising the dogs took a lot of time, time Ethan could use for paperwork, or raising money, or cleaning up the kennels, if he didn’t make that part of Cameron’s responsibilities. “Just make sure you put him on the leash hanging on the wall before you take him outside.”

“Sure thing. Thanks, Mr. Pellegrino.” Cameron spun around and sprinted away, leaving Holly and Ethan to follow at a more leisurely pace.

“It’s sunny today, so it should dry quickly. Then we can do a coat of paint. If that doesn’t cover it, I’ll do another one tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow? But I thought we’d get it all done today.”

He watched Holly swipe her fingers across her old sweatshirt, leaving gray streaks of primer in the process. That and the tiny splotches sprinkling her hair only added to her charm. It was all he could do not to try to remove some of the bigger blotches, but after his earlier thoughts about her surfaced, he knew that it wasn’t a good idea. Instead, he focused on Cameron.

“That had been my plan, but keeping you here all day wasn’t part of it, either. I forgot about factoring in the time frame of letting the coats dry in between applications. Cameron will have fulfilled his obligation after the first coat of paint.”

“But—”

“If I do another coat, that is my own choice, okay? You have enough going on. Let’s just keep it at that.”

Holly reflected on his words. He understood, and that scared her more than the thought of losing the shop. Because if she ever decided to let go of what she had with Jared and started dating again, Ethan would be the kind of man she’d choose to go out with. But she wouldn’t. Involvement with another man would only open herself up to more heartache and pain, especially if something happened to him. Besides, she needed to concentrate on her son and his needs. Once he was grown, she could focus on her own.

“I haven’t seen Cameron this excited in a long time.” Since before Jared’s death. “Thanks for giving him the chance. I’m sure he’ll do a great job with the dogs. And I doubt he’ll give you any trouble with his homework if he’s got something to look forward to afterward.”

“He doesn’t like doing his homework?”

“Not lately. Or pick up after himself, or do any of his chores.” Her sigh filled the space between them. “There’s a lot of things he used to like to do but not anymore. His attitude these past few months has been...for lack of a better word...challenging.”

Holly had to get a grip on it, or the spray-paint incident at Ethan’s was only the beginning. Some days she didn’t know where to turn. Jared would have told her to look upward and let everything rest in God’s hands. Yet He hadn’t answered her prayers to keep her husband alive. What made her think He’d listen to her now?

“I’ve worked with kids before. I’ll see if I can get through to him.”

He put his hand into his pocket but pulled it out empty. A pained expression flickered across his face, quickly restrained and replaced by one of resignation.

“Is something wrong? Did you hurt yourself?” She placed her hand on his forearm and compassion infused her. Only a bit lower and she could touch his hand. His injured hand. Did she want to go there? Only confusion answered her.

“No. I’m okay. I used to always have candy for the Afghan children. Sometimes I forget where I am. I don’t carry it anymore.”

“I’m sorry.”

Ethan moved her hand from his arm and squeezed it gently before he let it drop. “What’s there to be sorry for? For some reason God spared me but left me a reminder that He’s in charge. Despite my teachings in order to be a lay minister and everything I’ve witnessed, I forget.”

Unsure of what to say next, Holly trudged along beside him the rest of the way to the back of the house in silence. What could she say that wouldn’t sound phony or unbelievable?

* * *

Holly paused in the parking lot of the shingled one-story redbrick building. Despite her almost weekly attendance, she still felt uncomfortable since her husband’s death. This had been Jared’s church, his parents’ church and his grandparents’ church before him in the old building that now housed the youth center and other Sunday school classes. It was as if they knew she didn’t have the same beliefs, that she’d shut down her connection with God the same time He’d taken Jared away. Some days she felt the eyes of the congregation staring at her, drilling her as she sat in one of the back rows, as if they blamed her for her husband’s death.

That wasn’t too far from the truth.

Beside her, Cam shifted in his seat and refused to take off his seat belt. “Do we really have to go?”

“Yes, we really have to go. I let you sleep in, so you’re stuck with the traditional service today. Come on, we’ll go grab brunch after we’re done.” Not that she could afford it, but both of them needed some sort of treat. The Sunrise Diner wasn’t too far from the store, and it catered to the folks who didn’t have a lot of money to spend, unlike the more touristy places on the square.

Afterward, she’d drop her son off at his friend Tyler’s house while she opened the store for a few hours since Mindy wasn’t feeling well today. If the sunny weather held, the afternoon should be somewhat busy and she could reduce her inventory by making a bunch of sales. That would be less for her and Cameron to pack after Christmas.

If they even had a Christmas. So far she’d had no response to her seasonal decorating flyer, but it was still early in the season. She’d thought her idea had been a good one. Apparently, it wasn’t.

The butterflies in her stomach increased with each step. She joined the streams of other worshippers entering the church, yet Holly still felt the isolation despite the beige welcome mat by the door. It was probably more of her own doing than anyone milling around her, though.




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