Главная страница | Современные любовные романы | Heart of a Soldier

Heart of a Soldier
Belle Calhoune
A Soldier's Unexpected HomecomingReturning soldier Dylan Hart heads to Texas to finally meet pen pal Holly Lynch. When he arrives, he's shocked to discover the plucky beauty he fell in love with has kept a very big secret. Scarred emotionally by his past, Dylan is deeply hurt that Holly didn't trust him with such a vital truth about herself. When he's hired as a cowboy on her family's vast ranch, he's committed to staying in town. And as he slowly reconnects with the woman whose letters once saved him, he'll have to take a look inside his heart to discover what matters most.Returning soldier Dylan Hart heads to Texas to finally meet pen pal Holly Lynch. When he arrives, he's shocked to discover the plucky beauty he fell in love with has kept a very big secret. Scarred emotionally by his past, Dylan is deeply hurt that Holly didn't trust him with such a vital truth about herself. When he's hired as a cowboy on her family's vast ranch, he's committed to staying in town. And as he slowly reconnects with the woman whose letters once saved him, he'll have to take a look inside his heart to discover what matters most.


A Soldier’s Unexpected Homecoming
Returning soldier Dylan Hart heads to Texas to finally meet pen pal Holly Lynch. When he arrives, he’s shocked to discover the plucky beauty he fell in love with has kept a very big secret. Scarred emotionally by his past, Dylan is deeply hurt that Holly didn’t trust him with such a vital truth about herself. When he’s hired as a cowboy on her family’s vast ranch, he’s committed to staying in town. And as he slowly reconnects with the woman whose letters once saved him, he’ll have to take a look inside his heart to discover what matters most.
“I’m sorry you came all the way here, only to be disappointed.”
“No, it’s not about that,” Dylan said. “It’s just—”
Just what? How could he explain it to Holly without hurting her or making her feel more ashamed of the information she’d withheld? He needed to be sensitive to her feelings, but at the same time, he couldn’t sugarcoat things.
He had to be honest with himself, as well as Holly.
“I suppose you had a preconceived notion about me, right?” she asked. “Cute. Blonde. Blue-eyed. Standing on two feet.”
She breathed out a tiny huff of air. “Wheelchairs don’t exactly come to mind when you’re painting a picture in your head of someone, do they?”
He let out a ragged sigh, then raked his fingers through his military cut. “If I’d known from the beginning I’m sure I wouldn’t be feeling this way. Okay, that’s not true. Or maybe it is. I just feel a little caught off guard.”
Where would they go from here?
BELLE CALHOUNE
was born and raised in Massachusetts. Some of her fondest childhood memories revolve around her four siblings and spending summers in Cape Cod. Although both her parents were in the medical field, she became an avid reader of romance novels as a teen and began dreaming of a career as an author. Shortly thereafter, she began writing her own stories. Married to her college sweetheart, she is raising two lovely daughters in Connecticut. A dog lover, she has a beautiful chocolate Lab and an adorable mini poodle. After studying French for ten years and traveling extensively throughout France, she considers herself a Francophile. When she’s not writing, she enjoys spending time in Cape Cod and planning her next Parisian escape. She finds writing inspirational romance to be a joyful experience that nurtures her soul. You can write to her at scalhoune@gmail.com or contact her through her website, bellecalhoune.com (http://bellecalhoune.com).
Heart of a Soldier
Belle Calhoune


www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.
—Psalms 37:4
For my daughter Sierra.
I love your independence, creativity and wisdom.
You are beautiful inside and out, with the heart
and imagination of a writer. I love watching you
soar like an Eagle. Always remember there are
no limits to the things you can achieve.
Acknowledgments (#ue489cd07-8a3e-5338-8c23-8911485abba0)
For all my family and friends for all their support
and love, especially my Dad, my sister, Karen,
and my friend Lim Riley.
I owe a debt of gratitude to my editor, Emily Rodmell,
for catching all the things I tend to overlook
and for wholeheartedly embracing my heroine.
I am very grateful to all the readers who wrote to me
asking when I was going to write Holly’s story.
Your enthusiasm inspired me to create
a love story worthy of all your expectations.
Contents
Cover (#u8cfea7c1-e76e-5a9d-94f9-5bd0ebb08394)
Back Cover Text (#u6c6f7efd-d1a1-5e4d-9bae-3375a15b50a1)
Introduction (#u0b7ca6f4-c8e7-5413-bc5c-ce916e98f8d3)
About the Author (#u52c3ee39-2347-5fb4-b509-e128a7e19778)
Title Page (#ue74fe674-2155-5b13-b125-60a623bc8de5)
Bible Verse (#ued4f6f57-6800-5c94-8c27-931579fa2d38)
Dedication (#udfd7174d-635b-5772-9b22-fd2b0175c77d)
Acknowledgments
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Epilogue
Dear Reader
Questions for Discussion
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter One (#ulink_c7c979f0-579d-5802-8373-74116f75d657)
West Falls, Texas
Holly Lynch quickly made her way to the mailbox, parking her wheelchair next to it so she could scoop the mail out and place it in her lap. Once she’d dumped the mail onto her skirt, she riffled through it, a smile lighting up her face as she saw the familiar handwriting. She ripped the envelope open with her finger, pulling the crisp stationery out and lifting it to her nose to inhale the aroma. She closed her eyes and breathed in the woodsy, spicy scent. She imagined Dylan Hart smelled just like this piece of stationery, as clean and fresh as a pine tree. A photo fell out of the letter, landing on her lap, faceup. She stared down at Dylan—her gorgeous, green-eyed, smiling soldier—her heart doing flip-flops at the sight of him. He was dressed in his uniform and grinning into the camera, showcasing his impressive dimples and unforgettable face.
She opened the letter, noticing it was dated almost three weeks ago. This was how long it took to get a letter to and from Afghanistan. She let out a deep sigh. Three long weeks! A lifetime, as far as she was concerned. Her hands trembled as she began reading the letter.

Dear Holly,

I hope this letter finds you well. On this end, things couldn’t be better.
My tour of duty came to an end a few weeks ago. I’m pleased to report that I’ve received an honorable discharge. Finally, at long last, I’m coming home for good. I arrive stateside on October 1. I’m spending some time with my mom and her new husband, Roy. She’s been taking really good care of Leo for me while I’ve been in Afghanistan. Here’s the really good part. I’m planning to come to West Falls on October 15. Sorry for not telling you sooner, but I wanted it to be a surprise.
I hope this is welcome news to you, Holly. We’ve been talking about our first meeting for so long now. I can hardly believe it’s happening. By the time this letter reaches you, I’ll almost be there, at your side.
There’s so much more I want to say, words that can be said only face-to-face.
Until then, be safe.

Fondly,
Dylan

The letter slipped from Holly’s fingers, floating down to the ground like a leaf falling from a tree. Its graceful descent belied the turmoil raging inside her. Dylan Hart, the pen pal she’d been corresponding with for a little over a year while he was stationed in Afghanistan, was coming to West Falls, all the way from Oklahoma to see her. And according to his letter, he’d be arriving sometime today. With mail scattered all over her lap, Holly adroitly maneuvered her wheelchair up the ramp leading to the front porch. She barreled her way inside the house and double locked the front door behind her. Once she was safely inside, she concentrated on breathing normally. She was taking in huge gulps of air, but she still felt as if she couldn’t breathe. Her palms were sweaty, and beads of moisture had broken out on her forehead. The sound of her labored breathing thundered in her ears.
Dear Lord, help me. I don’t know what to do. Please don’t let Dylan come here!
Bingo, her chocolate Lab, padded his way to her side. Sensing her frantic mood, he cocked his head to the side, then began to gently lick her hand. Reaching out, she patted his head, looking deeply into his russet-colored eyes.
“Bingo, what am I going to do?” she asked as panic skittered through her.
She wanted to hide! She wanted to get in her van and drive as fast and far from Horseshoe Bend Ranch as possible. There was no way in the world she could face Dylan. Because as much as she adored him, as much as she ached to see those brilliant green eyes in person, she didn’t have the courage to deal with this situation she’d created. She couldn’t face the secret she’d kept from him. Somehow, in all the letters they’d exchanged, she’d failed to tell him the single most important fact about herself.
She was a paraplegic. She’d lost the use of her legs in an accident, and she’d never walk again. Not in this lifetime. Brave, handsome Dylan, who’d proudly served his country in Afghanistan, had no clue that the woman he’d been writing to—the woman he was traveling all this way to see—was not the woman he believed her to be.
* * *
Dylan Hart let out a low whistle as he pulled up in front of the Horseshoe Bend Ranch. In all his life he’d never seen anything finer. It made the Bar M back home seem like chopped liver. The massive entrance dwarfed him, making him feel insignificant in the scheme of things. As he drove past the gates, all he could see stretched out before him was lush green grass—acres upon acres of the purest horse land in the entire state.
Although Holly had told him her family owned a ranch and it had been in her family for generations, he hadn’t been expecting anything this impressive. For a man who’d been just getting by for most of his life, it left him a little unsettled. Here he was, fresh from a combat zone, with nothing to offer Holly but his sincerity and the special friendship they’d both nurtured. He swallowed past the huge lump in his throat, hoping it was enough to land him the woman of his dreams.
He knew he was getting ahead of himself, but he couldn’t help it. He had such a good feeling about Holly—she aroused emotions in him that he hadn’t felt in a long time. It wasn’t love—he wasn’t that deep in—but something in his gut told him she could be the one. While he’d been over in Afghanistan, there had been endless amounts of time to think about his future. When the bottom fell out of his world, everything had become crystal clear. A place to call home, a good woman by his side and a strong sense of community. More than anything else in the world, that was what he wanted.
And here he was in West Falls, Texas, taking a huge leap of faith. It wasn’t like him, not even remotely, but here he stood, ready to embrace his future. Even though he didn’t have a job lined up and this could all blow up in his face, he was willing to reach for the brass ring. He was prepared to put his painful past firmly in his rearview mirror. He was giving it his best shot.
Holly could be the one to make him forget about roadside bombs and friends who would never make it back home. She could be the one to make him believe that there were true, honest women out there in the world. And today he would be seeing her for the first time, since he didn’t own a single picture of her. How he wanted to see those baby-blue eyes she’d described in person! He’d dreamed about meeting Holly for months now. Although excitement was building inside him, there was also a slight feeling of doubt. Was he doing the right thing?
Lord, please let this rash decision to come all the way to West Falls be right! Let Holly be the woman You’ve picked for me to fall in love with, something lasting and real. I’m so tired of doing this alone. I’m so afraid of ending up by myself.
After driving for about a half mile, he reached a fork in the road. He saw a grand home looming in the distance. As someone who loved architecture, he appreciated its beauty. It was the type of house that made a person sit up and take notice. It was an impressive two-story white structure with a long wraparound porch and shiny black shutters. It looked like the type of house he would have loved to have grown up in. This place, Dylan thought with amazement, was a far cry from the small trailer where he’d spent the first eighteen years of his life.
He parked his truck and got out, then made his way to the porch steps in a few easy strides. To the left of the stairs was a wheelchair-accessible ramp leading to the front porch. The sight of the bright red door had him grinning. It made the grand house look warm and inviting—the same way Holly had seemed in all her letters. Blue and red rocking chairs sat facing each other, just waiting, he imagined, for someone to plop down and sit for a spell.
He looked down at himself, hoping his favorite blue shirt and well-worn jeans made him look presentable. With a hint of impatience, he rang the doorbell, itching to meet his pen pal after all these days, weeks and months. Seconds later he rang it again, then knocked on the door for good measure. When no one answered after a few tense minutes, he rapped again on the door, this time with a little more force.
He heard something—or someone—inside the house. A rattling noise sounded by the door, and he heard a whirring sound. Every instinct he possessed told him that someone was in there. “Afternoon. I’m looking for Holly Lynch,” he called out.
The heavy click of a lock being turned echoed in the stillness of the fall afternoon. With a slow creak, the door opened. A woman was there, sitting in a wheelchair, her blue eyes as wide as saucers. She had dirty-blond hair and a pretty face that gave her a girl-next-door look. A smattering of freckles crisscrossed her nose. Even though the blue eyes held a look of fear, they were beautiful. They reminded him of his mama’s favorite flowers—cornflowers. A necklace with a diamond pendant hung around her neck. She was wearing a T-shirt that read I Do My Own Stunts. The shirt made him want to laugh out loud at her spunk and sense of humor.
The young lady was just sitting there, staring at him without saying a single word. Had he scared her that badly with his knocking and ringing the bell? She was looking at him as if he were the Big Bad Wolf ready to pounce on Little Red Riding Hood.
“Sorry to bother you, miss, but I’m looking for Holly.” He extended a hand and grinned at her, wanting to take away some of her nervousness. “I’m Dylan Hart. A friend of Holly’s.”
Tentatively, she reached out and shook his hand, giving him a slight smile. The blue eyes still looked wary, and the half smile never quite made its way to her eyes. She folded her arms across her chest as if she was guarding herself against him. He wasn’t sure if he was imagining things, but her posture looked downright uninviting.
“And you are?” he asked, leading her to introduce herself.
“C-Cassidy. I’m Cassidy Blake,” she answered in a quiet voice.
Cassidy! Holly had written to him about her best friend, Cassidy, who was engaged to Holly’s brother, Tate. Holly had never once mentioned that Cassidy was in a wheelchair. Or had she? No, he wouldn’t have forgotten something like that. Maybe Holly was so used to Cassidy’s condition that she hadn’t thought to mention it. It was a little bit shocking to see such a young woman confined to a wheelchair. He wondered what had happened to put her there.
“I just got into town a little while ago. Is Holly here?” He didn’t want to be rude, but cutting to the chase was his style. He’d come all this way for Holly. Just one look in her eyes, and he knew all would feel right in his world.
Cassidy seemed to think for a moment before she answered him. “Um, no, she’s not. She went into town to run a few errands. I don’t think she was expecting you until later. She just received your letter today.”
Dylan glanced at his watch. It was two o’clock. Something told him Cassidy wouldn’t want him hanging around the house, waiting for Holly’s return. She had a strange look on her face—somewhere between anxiety and horror.
“I guess I’ll head back into town and unpack my things to kill some time,” he said, wanting to fill the silence with a little conversation. He couldn’t shake the sense that she was nervous about his being here. Hopefully she wasn’t worried about her safety. As far as he knew, he looked fairly trustworthy, although anyone could be a stalker nowadays.
Her mouth swung open. “You’re staying in town?”
“Yeah,” he said with a smile. “I rented a small cottage right near Main Street. My landlord is Doc Sampson. He runs a restaurant in town.”
“Yes, the Falls Diner. He’s a wonderful man.” She seemed to gulp. “Are you staying on awhile in West Falls?”
He was feeling somewhat giddy about his impulsive decision. Although he’d wanted Holly to be the first one to hear about his plans, he couldn’t resist the impulse to share the news with her closest friend.
“I made plans to stay in West Falls indefinitely. I signed a four-month lease with Doc, and I’m hoping to find some ranch work in the area. I’ve had a lot of experience breaking in wild horses and doctoring cattle back in Oklahoma.”
Her eyes widened. “That can be dangerous.”
“I served time in Afghanistan. There’s nothing more life threatening than a combat zone.”
He couldn’t help but smile at her wide-eyed concern. Working with wild horses was something he’d been doing since his teen years, ever since his father had hired him on as a ranch hand at the Bar M Ranch. Every year during summer vacation he’d lived and worked at the Bar M, devoting himself to the business of cattle ranching. The whole reason he’d signed on at first was to repair his fractured relationship with his father. It had hurt his mother terribly to see him working side by side with the man who never publicly claimed him. Crumbs, she’d called it. “He’s giving you nothing but crumbs,” she’d said with tears misting in her eyes. “You deserve so much better.” In the end, he’d learned the hard way that some fences could never be mended. It was the best lesson his father had ever taught him.
Yes indeed, working with wild horses could be dicey, but ranching had been in his blood for generations, even though for many years he’d resisted its strong pull. For years he’d asked himself why it appealed to him, and despite his many attempts to figure it all out, all he knew was that it called to him like an irresistible force. It wasn’t a choice, he’d come to realize. It was his calling. And someday, he hoped to own his own spread, a little stretch of land he could call his own.
Dragging himself out of his thoughts, Dylan nodded, acknowledging her question. “Yeah, it can be dangerous. When horses are out of control, it can be an unstable situation. That’s why training is so important.”
She leaned forward in her chair. “And you’ve had lots of training, right?” She furrowed her brow, concern etched on her face.
He smiled, tickled by her earnestness. “Yeah, lots and lots. But I’m also very careful, and I respect the horses.”
It was funny. She seemed to heave a huge sigh of relief. Cassidy was a sweetheart, that was for sure. Her caring so much about a perfect stranger showed she was a loving and giving woman. Again, he found himself wondering what had happened to devastate this young woman’s life.
He quickly glanced at his watch. “Well, I should be heading back into town, since it looks like she won’t be here for a while. It was nice meeting you, Cassidy.”
She mumbled a goodbye. He heard the door close behind him and the turn of the lock as soon as he’d stepped out onto the porch. He stopped in his tracks as a feeling of unease came over him. He didn’t know if he was being paranoid, but her actions had been a little strange. Although she seemed to radiate a good vibe, she’d been jumpy and nervous the entire time, even locking the door upon his departure. As he made his way to his car, he looked across the huge expanse of land that stretched out before him for miles and miles. Horseshoe Bend Ranch. He couldn’t imagine a more tranquil place to live. It didn’t seem the type of place where one had to bolt the door against intruders. What did he know about it anyway? Joy pulsed inside him as the realization hit him full force. He and Holly were now in the same zip code, and it wouldn’t be much longer until they could see each other.
* * *
Had she really just done that? Rather than come clean with Dylan, she’d introduced herself to him as Cassidy Blake, the name of her best friend. She watched from behind a living room curtain as Dylan made his way off the front porch. He was handsome. That was for sure. Way more good-looking than his pictures captured. Those green eyes of his sparkled and glittered like a flawless gem. He had a beautiful, pearly-white grin. His dark hair was cut into a short military style, which enhanced his masculine features. And he was tall, six feet she would guess, with brawny arms and shoulders. His physicality was hard to ignore. It jumped out at her, reminding her of everything that set them apart from one another. Several times she’d wanted to reach out and grab his hand or ask him about Leo, his bearded dragon. But that would have been a huge tip-off that she wasn’t who she was claiming to be. She’d sunk so low in hiding her disability from Dylan. Why hadn’t she just told him? Surely it would have been better than these feelings of dread and guilt gnawing at her conscience. Pain sliced through her, causing her to wrap her arms around her middle in an attempt to assuage the hurt she’d inflicted on herself.
Lord, please make this pain go away. I’ve gotten so used to loss that I never knew it would hurt this much to lose Dylan before I truly had him. I try so hard to walk a righteous path, yet here I am withholding information and pretending to be somebody I’m not.
Was it really so out of the question to admit the truth to him? She squeezed her eyes shut to block out random images flashing into her mind. Dylan’s shocked face as she introduced herself as the woman he’d been writing to over the past year. Dylan’s disappointed expression. The look of pity that would inevitably pass over his face.
She covered her face with her hands. No, she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t handle the pain that came with the knowledge that she would never be Dylan’s vision of what a partner should be. She was too flawed, too imperfect. He’d traveled all this way to see in person the woman he’d connected with during some of the darkest hours of his life. Never in a million years would Dylan be expecting a woman in a wheelchair. After all he’d been through in Afghanistan, she couldn’t deliver him yet another blow. She just couldn’t handle it.
As soon as she saw Dylan’s truck zoom off into the distance, she picked up her cell phone and dialed the number of Cassidy Blake’s art gallery. After a few rings, she heard her best friend’s chirpy voice on the other end.
“Hi, Holly. What’s up?”
“Cassidy. I need you to come to the ranch as quick as you can get here.” She felt out of breath after she finished.
“What is it? Are you okay?” Cassidy asked. Holly could hear the concern in her voice.
“It’s not an emergency. I just need my best friend,” she explained, trying to convey the urgency without causing Cassidy panic.
“Let me close up the gallery. I’ll be there in twenty minutes,” Cassidy promised, quickly ending the phone call.
For the next twenty minutes Holly fretted over her situation, wondering how she was going to tell Cassidy she’d impersonated her when Dylan had arrived at the ranch. Hopefully her best friend would understand the impossible position she was in. As soon as Holly heard the crunch of tires in the driveway, she made her way toward the door, opening it and greeting Cassidy as she quickly walked up the front steps.
As usual, her best friend radiated an effortless, breezy look. With her strawberry-blond hair, green eyes and wholesome good looks, she’d always been a showstopper. Even in her simple T-shirt and flouncy skirt, she looked amazing.
Holly couldn’t be happier about Cassidy’s engagement to her older brother, Tate. They’d all been through a lot together, most notably the terrible accident that had left Holly without the use of her legs. For many years Cassidy had stayed away from West Falls, torn apart by guilt and shame since she had been behind the wheel at the time of the accident. Last summer Cassidy had returned home to help her ailing mother, and in the process, she and Tate had fallen in love all over again.
“You scared me with that phone call. What’s going on?” Cassidy asked as she stepped over the threshold. She held out Dylan’s letter to Holly. “You must have dropped this. I found it next to the mailbox.”
Holly pushed the door closed and wheeled around so she could face Cassidy. She reached for the letter, stuffing it down into her skirt pocket. She took a deep breath.
“Do you remember me telling you about Dylan? The soldier I write to?”
“Of course. He’s stationed in Afghanistan, right?”
Holly nodded. “Yes, he was. But he’s stateside now. He arrived in West Falls today.”
“That’s amazing!” Cassidy squealed. “I can’t wait to meet him.”
Holly stared blankly at her best friend. In her opinion there was absolutely nothing to celebrate, although Cassidy had no way of knowing it.
Cassidy frowned, her eyes filled with concern. “What’s the matter? You look as if someone died. I thought you’d be celebrating instead of moping around the house.”
Holly looked down, too overcome with shame to look Cassidy in the eye. “Cass, I messed up. I didn’t tell him about my being a paraplegic.”
Cassidy’s eyes bulged, and she shook her head in disbelief. After a few seconds she said, “Tell me everything.”
Holly quickly got Cassidy up to speed on Dylan’s unexpected visit and her pretense about being Cassidy.
“But how could you pretend to be me? We don’t look anything alike. I thought you two sent pictures back and forth,” Cassidy asked, her brow furrowed in confusion.
“I kept meaning to send a photo, but I never did. It was difficult to send him a picture without having told him I’m a paraplegic.” Holly let out a bitter laugh. “Of course, when he showed up here he wasn’t expecting to see his pen pal confined to a wheelchair, since I conveniently left that part out.”
Cassidy looked agitated. She bit her lip and ran her fingers through her long hair. “What are you going to do?”
Holly was wringing her hands. She looked up at Cassidy, squashing down the spark of jealousy she felt as she gazed at her beautiful and able-bodied friend. Cassidy’s calves were shapely, while hers lacked any muscle tone whatsoever. What she wouldn’t give to be able to walk into a room under her own steam instead of always making an entrance by way of her wheelchair. She let out a deep sigh. What was the point of comparing herself to her best friend? She chided herself. Feeling envy wasn’t going to change a thing. It wouldn’t make her something she wasn’t or somebody she could never be.
“I need you to pretend to be me, Cass. Just long enough so you can end things with him and send him on his way. He’ll never know that you’re not me.” The words tumbled out of Holly’s mouth at a rapid speed. Intuition told her that it was only a matter of time before Dylan came back to the ranch. He’d had a look of determination and purpose in his eyes. She needed to fix things quickly. Cassidy frowned. “Holly. You can’t be serious. Why in the world would you want me to pretend to be you?”
Tears pricked her eyes. “I need you to do this for me, Cass. Seriously. I want Dylan to leave West Falls and go back home to Oklahoma. This is the only way!” She was starting to feel desperate, as if the walls were closing in on her.
Cassidy frowned. “Tricking him isn’t the answer. Why can’t you just tell him the truth?”
Heat seared her cheeks. “Because I can’t face him. I never told him I’m in a wheelchair, that I’m paralyzed from the waist down. How do you think he’s going to feel after coming all this way to see me?”
“You’re the bravest person I know. Find your words and tell him the truth. If he’s as wonderful as you say he is, he’ll understand.”
“This is different. Dylan is... He’s everything. Smart. Brave. Gorgeous.”
Cassidy’s brow was furrowed. “And you’re all those things, Holly.”
Holly shook her head. “No, I’m not, Cass. You don’t understand. He’s a soldier. The world he lives in is a very physical world. He breaks in wild horses, rides mountain bikes, does marathons. He protects America from harm. He’s a hero.”
“And you’re pretty heroic, too. You’ve lived through a horrific accident that cost you the use of your legs. You’ve devoted your life to getting the message out about irresponsible teen driving. You’re a woman of faith, Holly. All those things make you an amazing woman.”
Although she loved Cassidy like a sister, she didn’t want to hear any of this at the moment. It didn’t matter how many times people told her she was brave and wonderful. She didn’t feel either of those things. Not at the moment. Not when Dylan was most likely on his way back to the ranch to meet up with her. There was no way she could look him in the eye and admit her lies. She needed to get herself straightened out before he showed up.
“Please, Cassidy. I need you to be me when Dylan comes back,” she begged in a panicked voice. “You owe me.”
The ominous words hung in the air between them. Cassidy’s face lost all of its color, and her mouth tightened in a firm line. As soon as the words had tumbled out of her mouth, Holly had deeply regretted them. Cassidy had just come back into her life after an eight-year absence. In the past six months they’d rebuilt a friendship that had been ruined in the aftermath of the accident that had left Holly paralyzed. Cassidy had been at the wheel at the time, and she’d fled West Falls rather than face the town’s censure. It had taken a lot of hard work and prayer to get things back to where they once were with their friendship.
Now, due to overwhelming fear, Holly found herself in an awkward position. With three thoughtless words she’d dredged up their painful past and made Cassidy feel as if she were still harboring a grudge. In reality she, along with Cassidy’s cousin, Regina Blake, and their childhood friend, Jenna Keegan, all shared in the responsibility. They’d all participated in the reckless-driving game, although Cassidy had taken the fall since she’d been at the wheel when the car had slid off the road. One could make the argument that she, in fact, owed Cassidy everything for having single-handedly shouldered the blame for eight long years.
Before she could apologize, a knock sounded at the door. Holly jerked her head in the direction of the front door, then looked over at Cassidy. Her friend’s eyes were wide with alarm, and she was shaking her head back and forth.
“Please, Cassidy. Just pretend to be me. Tell him you started seeing someone, that you’re really sorry but it’s over,” Holly whispered. She felt weak begging Cassidy to do something she knew was wrong, but a part of her didn’t care. Right now all she cared about was making sure Dylan didn’t figure out his pen pal was confined to a wheelchair.
“Tell the truth, Holly. Before this whole thing spirals out of control,” Cassidy said, her eyes full of disappointment.
Feeling defiant, Holly wheeled over to the door and yanked it open. All of the air rushed out of her lungs the moment she saw Dylan. He was wearing a black cowboy hat, but he quickly took it off and placed it by his side. She noticed he’d switched up his clothes and taken a shower. His hair was still slightly damp, and he was wearing a pair of jeans and a white T-shirt. His arms were heavily muscled and toned. Once again, she was hit with the full impact of Dylan’s physicality. He looked as if he belonged on the cover of a men’s fitness magazine or on television as the star of a healthy-living commercial. All at once it hit her smack on the head. There was no way she belonged in his world. For the past year she’d been living in a world of denial, clinging to a kernel of hope about a possible future with this impossibly perfect man. In his arms was a bouquet of yellow roses and white stargazer lilies, her favorite flowers. Somehow he’d remembered from her letters. She felt a pang run through her at his thoughtfulness. How she wanted to reach out and accept his offering and press her nose against the fragrant blooms.
“Is she back yet?” Dylan asked, his expressive eyes radiating enthusiasm.
With a lump in her throat, all she could do was nod and gesture toward the inside of the house. His handsome face lit up with a wide grin. She smiled at him, feeling light-headed at the sight of his tall, muscular frame. But he wasn’t smiling at her. He was looking past her, straight at Cassidy. And he was beaming so widely it almost overtook his whole face. She felt her chest tighten painfully. Loss—sharp and swift—flooded her. How could it be this painful to lose something she’d never truly had in the first place? Sucking in a ragged breath, she invited him inside, then watched as he walked across the threshold and beat a fast path toward her best friend.
Chapter Two (#ulink_dfdaca50-af6e-558f-90b2-a33ff97b05fe)
“Holly! Is it you?” Dylan made his way across the foyer in two quick strides. Cassidy nodded her head in acknowledgment. Holly watched as Dylan wrapped his arms around Cassidy in a warm embrace. She felt her insides lurch as she observed Dylan’s intimate gesture. He was so full of life, so enthusiastic and joyful. Watching him was like seeing a force of nature in motion. Her best friend, on the other hand, was acting standoffish. She wasn’t hugging Dylan back, and her body language was as stiff as a board. Her expressive face was giving away too much. Maybe it was simply because she knew her so well that she could tell Cassidy looked conflicted and ill at ease. Her pulse started beating at a rapid pace. If Cassidy couldn’t pull this off, she’d be forced to explain it all to Dylan. The very thought of it made her palms sweat.
A part of her couldn’t help but feel cheated as she watched Dylan’s interaction with her best friend. This embrace should have been hers. His gorgeous smile, which lit the room up like sunshine, should have been directed at her. And maybe it would have been, she thought. If only she had been honest with him from the beginning. Perhaps things could have been different.
Cassidy stepped away from the hug, her face paler than usual, her eyes drifting nervously away from Dylan and toward Holly. She seemed as if she was in pain. Guilt speared through her at the agony on her best friend’s face. She looked as if she’d rather go swimming with sharks than follow through with this meeting.
“This has been a long time coming.” Dylan’s voice was infused with sweetness. To Holly it sounded like the sweet sound of rain after a long drought. For a moment she let it wash over her, rejoicing in the rich timbre of it. He held out the bouquet of flowers, saying, “These are for you,” as he handed them over.
“Thank you. They’re gorgeous,” Cassidy said stiffly, reaching out and accepting the stunning flowers.
Dylan grinned, showcasing a pair of dazzling dimples. “I hope you’re not upset with me for showing up here in West Falls. I’m not usually a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants guy, but I couldn’t help myself. The way you described your hometown made me want to see it for myself.”
“It’s definitely unexpected,” Cassidy answered, shooting Holly a meaningful look.
Holly tried to nod discreetly in Cassidy’s direction, wanting to encourage her to act normal, but she felt Dylan’s gaze land on her. He seemed to have the instincts of a hawk, paying close attention to everything around him. As a soldier, he’d probably honed those skills as a means of survival.
Dylan frowned. “Did I interrupt y’all in the middle of something?”
“No, of course not,” Holly said smoothly, her eyes now focused on Dylan’s face.
“It’s fine. We were just shooting the breeze,” Cassidy added. “Would you like something to drink? Some sweet tea or lemonade?”
“I’d love some sweet tea,” he answered, looking grateful for the offer.
“Sure thing. It’ll give me a chance to put these flowers in a vase.” Cassidy scurried off toward the kitchen, as if she couldn’t wait to escape, leaving the two of them all by themselves.
“Why don’t you make yourself comfortable in the living room.” Holly gestured toward the doorway leading to the foyer. Following behind him, she quickly maneuvered her wheelchair into the room. As Dylan folded his tall, rugged body into a leather armchair, her gaze was drawn to the dog tags hanging around his neck.
Filled with curiosity, she blurted, “Are those your tags?”
Dylan reached up and lightly fingered the tags, his face contemplative as he answered. “Just one of ’em is mine. The other one belonged to one of my buddies who died over in Afghanistan.”
Died? He must be referring to Benji, the soldier he’d written about in one of his letters. At only eighteen years old, he’d been among the youngest soldiers in the unit. From what she remembered, he’d been killed instantly when their Humvee had been blown up by a roadside bomb. Dylan had been seriously injured as well, but thankfully had rebounded from those injuries. The attack had occurred before they’d started writing each other, and Dylan was very close lipped about it and his subsequent hospitalization and recovery.
Cassidy returned with a tray of drinks and some slices of homemade pumpkin bread. Like a perfect hostess, she served the refreshments, then plopped down onto the sofa directly across from Dylan. Holly discreetly watched him as he thirstily downed the contents of the glass. It was almost impossible to tear her gaze away from him. She felt like a starving person sitting down at an all-you-can-eat buffet. Dylan, in all his cowboy/soldier glory was a sight for sore eyes.
“Horseshoe Bend Ranch is spectacular,” he raved, his eyes wide with admiration. “I can’t say as I’ve ever seen a finer spread.” His tone was filled with awe.
“It’s the largest and most profitable horse-and-cattle-breeding operation in this part of the state.” The words rolled off Holly’s tongue like quicksilver. She wanted to clap her hands over her mouth to stop herself from inserting herself into the conversation. It wasn’t her place to crow about the family ranch. That might raise a red flag in Dylan’s eyes.
Dylan grinned at her. “I’m not at all surprised to hear that.” He turned his gaze toward Cassidy. “It must make you feel proud knowing what your family has achieved.”
“Yes, the Lynches are a hardworking bunch,” Cassidy acknowledged. “It’s impossible not to feel proud of them.”
Holly flashed a smile in her soon-to-be sister-in-law’s direction. Her best friend was incredibly sweet and loyal. As far as she was concerned, Cassidy was going to be a perfect addition to the Lynch clan. If Cassidy and Tate would only set a date and put everyone out of their misery!
“So I was thinking you might like to grab a bite to eat in town,” Dylan said, his face full of expectation. “It’ll give us a chance to talk for a spell.”
White teeth flashed against his sun-burnished skin, causing a little hitch in her heart at the beauty of his smile.
Cassidy pressed her fingertips against her head. “Dylan, I—I’m not feeling too well.” She shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “I’m so happy you stopped by, but I think it might be better if we catch up another time.”
Dylan’s face fell. He recovered quickly, plastering a smile on his face. “Sure thing. Why don’t I swing by tomorrow. I think I’ll head back to town and grab something to eat. Doc tells me I have a standing invitation at his diner.”
Dylan stood up, placing his empty glass down on the tray before reaching for his Stetson and resting it against his chest.
The look on Dylan’s face took her breath away. He looked confused. And crushed. Some of the light went out of his eyes. Holly wanted to wrap her arms around him and soothe his disappointment. Although he appeared to be as tough as nails on the outside, with his rugged appearance and soldier’s swagger, she knew all too well about his tender side. And even though she felt a twinge of annoyance toward Cassidy for going off script, she knew all the blame for this entire fiasco lay at her feet. She’d done this. Her insecurities about believing a man could fall for her had led her down this path. For more than twelve months she’d neglected to tell him her most basic truth. And now it was all unraveling, bit by bit.
Of course, it had all begun innocently enough. Pastor Blake had started a pen-pal program so the members of Main Street Church could correspond with soldiers serving in Afghanistan. Wanting to show her support for the brave men and women of the armed forces, she’d quickly signed up. From the very beginning she’d felt a connection with the brave soldier from Madden, Oklahoma. They’d shared their hopes and dreams, as well as favorite movies, stories about their pets and best-loved ice cream flavors. She’d shared tidbits with him about life in West Falls and the joys of Horseshoe Bend Ranch, as well as her loving family.
In turn, he’d described a soldier’s day-to-day life in Afghanistan, the triumphs, the tragedies and the struggles. He’d written her about his wonderful mother, who’d raised him as a single parent. One letter led to another until they were receiving letters from each other on a weekly basis. Somehow, without her even realizing it, Dylan Hart had become a huge part of her life. As the door closed behind Dylan, a feeling of emptiness swept through her like a strong gust of wind. A longing to call out to him, to stop him in his tracks so she could make him stay longer, rose up inside her. After so many nights lying awake, thinking about her green-eyed soldier, it was agonizing knowing she would never be able to face him as Holly Lynch. As much as she wished it wasn’t true, Dylan Hart would forever be out of her reach.
* * *
Dylan didn’t know how to explain the feelings roaring through him as he headed out the gates of Horseshoe Bend Ranch. He felt like a deflated balloon. For the life of him, he couldn’t figure out why he felt so disappointed. Holly was gorgeous. Stunning. Any normal, red-blooded man would take one look at her and thank the Lord above for placing her in his orbit. But when he’d finally come face-to-face with her, there had been no kismet, no spark. Nothing special. She hadn’t even seemed stoked to see him.
Could he have been so wrong about their connection? She’d been much quieter than he’d ever imagined. In her letters, her lively personality had practically jumped off the page. In person, Holly hadn’t been at all as he’d imagined. Something felt off between them. There hadn’t been a feeling of recognition when he met her. Not at all. Not even for a single minute. Although he knew it would take some time for them to adjust to each other, things still should have flowed more effortlessly between them. There had been no attraction, no pull in her direction. And she wasn’t at all like he’d expected her to be. She was skittish and nervous. When he’d moved to pull her into a hug, she’d stood there like a statue, still and unmoving. She hadn’t even hugged him back. She didn’t seem like the Holly he’d gotten to know over the past twelve months.
And then she’d practically rushed him out the door on the pretext of not feeling well. Not once had she asked about his living arrangements or his four-month rental with Doc Sampson. Truthfully, she hadn’t seemed all that happy to see him at Horseshoe Bend Ranch. Disappointment filled him, leaving him frustrated and full of sorrow. He’d been so sure about Holly, more certain of her than anything ever in his life. Yet now it was looking as if he’d made another gigantic mistake.
It wouldn’t be the first time, a little voice reminded him. He shook off the memory of his faithless ex-girlfriend, Shawna. It had been a long time since he’d thought about his high school sweetheart, the woman who’d dumped him after his deployment to Afghanistan. After he’d broken his neck and was laid up in a military hospital, he’d been deemed useless in her eyes. He fought against the anger swelling up inside him. There was no time in his life for people who weren’t genuine. And he refused to wallow over past hurts. He had enough scars to last a lifetime.
Please don’t let me have been so mistaken about Holly. I’ve been so wrong in the past about so many things—relationships, people, situations. Please let me find in her the strong, faithful woman I’ve been seeking. Show me I haven’t traveled all this way chasing a pipe dream.
Maybe it was just jitters from meeting each other for the first time. It could be that his expectations were way too high. And meeting someone in the flesh was a lot different than writing to one another. She had every right to be nervous, didn’t she? Perhaps it just wasn’t meant to be, he realized as a sinking sensation settled in his stomach. Being so misguided about a situation would be a hard pill to swallow. Sometimes one just got a sense of a person—who they were down to their very soul. And for the past year, he’d come to know Holly as a warm and loving, God-fearing woman. Her goodness had resonated in every letter she’d written him and wormed its way inside him, serving as a reminder of everything he wanted in a life partner.
Try as he might, he just couldn’t shake off the encounter with Holly. There was something bothering him. It was resting right under the surface, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. All of a sudden it hit him. Her eyes. They’d been a vivid green, not blue. Holly had said her eyes were blue. Or was he going crazy? And he’d noticed she was wearing a ring when she’d poured him the sweet tea. Not just any ring, he realized. It had been a diamond ring planted on the wedding finger of her left hand.
He pulled his truck over to the side of the road, his breathing shallow as he racked his brain for the facts. Had she been wearing an engagement ring? Could he have been wrong about her eye color? No, absolutely not. He remembered the words she’d written him in her letter. I’m a blue-eyed girl from West Falls, Texas.
He slammed his palm against the steering wheel. What in the world was going on? The woman he’d just seen, the one pretending to be Holly, was a fraud. Her eyes were a spectacular green. That fact, coupled with the odd way she’d been acting and the sparkly ring, was all the proof he needed. With a wild groan, he did a U-turn in the road, his tires spewing dust and rocks as he made his way back toward Horseshoe Bend Ranch. He didn’t know who was trying to make a fool out of him, but he was surely going to find out.
* * *
“That did not go so well.” Holly let out a deep sigh. Things had not unfolded the way she’d envisioned. Even though she hated the idea of tricking Dylan, the idea had come to her in a moment of absolute desperation. As an honest woman, it didn’t sit well with her that she’d taken the low road instead of coming clean to Dylan. An overwhelming feeling of fear had held her back. She now felt as helpless as a lamb.
“Holly, I’m sorry. I tried, but I—” Cassidy grimaced and shook her head. “I just couldn’t pull it off the way you wanted. It didn’t feel right giving him the brush-off.”
“It’s not your fault. I’m responsible.” Her tone was clipped. She saw the look of dismay on her best friend’s face. She didn’t mean to be so abrupt, but she was feeling so wounded. It hurt to lose the possibility of Dylan. Even though they’d shared secrets and dreams ever since they were kids, she wanted to lick her wounds in private. There was no way Cassidy could ever understand what had driven her to keep her disability a secret. Most able-bodied people wouldn’t get it in a million years. All Cassidy had to do was walk in a room to have all male eyes drawn to her like moths to a flame. Ever since the accident she’d been single. Alone. For eight long years she hadn’t gone out on a date or shared a sweet, tender kiss with a single soul. There had been nobody to hold hands with or catch a movie with at the drive-in. She’d hadn’t received flowers on Valentine’s Day or kissed anyone under the mistletoe. Although she’d felt the stirrings of something with Deputy Cullen Brand, they’d never managed to get out of the friend zone. And considering the fact that he worked closely with Tate in the sheriff’s office, in the long run it might have been a little awkward.
Becoming Dylan’s correspondent had allowed her a rare opportunity to connect with someone without her physical condition being front and center. Living in a small town like West Falls where everyone knew her whole life story felt limiting at times. And she’d wanted to experience romance. Pure, wondrous romance.
She’d wanted someone to fall for her without the wheelchair getting in the way. Yes, in retrospect it was selfish of her to withhold the truth, but she hadn’t been able to write those words down on the page. She hadn’t wanted his opinion of her to change.
Her relationship with Dylan had started out as mere friendship, blossoming into tender, powerful feelings over the course of the past year. Deep in her soul she’d nurtured a fragile hope that he might be the one. She’d never been in love, but she’d hoped to be in a position to fall head over heels in love with Dylan. And to have those tender feelings returned. Now, in light of everything, those dreams had gone up in smoke. She must have been crazy to think this would all work out in the end.
The sound of whirring tires followed by screeching brakes reverberated in the stillness of the October afternoon. A loud rapping on the front door soon followed. Holly locked eyes with Cassidy before moving toward the front door and slowly opening it. Dylan was standing on the front porch, his handsome features marred by a frown. Holly let out a deep breath. He looked so different now. His face was shuttered. He seemed impenetrable, as if he’d built a wall around himself no one or nothing could breach. The way he was standing—his arms were folded in front of him and his chest was rapidly rising and falling—caused a prickle of awareness to race through her. He looked as if he were ready to take on the world.
“May I come in?” The grim set of his features was nothing compared to the iciness in his voice.
Flustered, Holly waved him into the house. All the while her mind was racing. What was he doing back here? And why was his expression so forbidding? Her throat felt constricted, and she didn’t think she could utter a single word if she tried. The sound of his boots echoed sharply against the hardwood floor. He moved toward the middle of the foyer so he was facing both of them.
Looking back and forth between them, he ground out, “Make no mistake, we need to get something straight. I don’t know what kind of game the two of you are playing with me, but I do know you’re not Holly Lynch.” He jutted his chin in Cassidy’s direction, his eyes blazing with anger. “Are you?”
Resembling a deer caught in headlights, Cassidy froze, her eyes wide with alarm.
Holly maneuvered her wheelchair until she was positioned directly in front of Cassidy. She had no intention of making her best friend take it on the chin. She’d started this whole thing, and even though it wouldn’t be easy, facing Dylan was her responsibility. She looked up at him, refusing to lose her courage and look away from his probing gaze.
Before losing her nerve, she dived right in. “You’re right. She’s not Holly, Dylan. I am.”
Chapter Three (#ulink_b5723585-6894-5d6b-88db-fae7877a7f2b)
“Holly?” His question bristled in the air like a live grenade. The air around them buzzed with electricity.
“Yes. It’s me, Dylan.” She met his gaze head on, her blue eyes full of intensity.
A hundred different thoughts were swirling through his mind. His first reaction was a strong sense of recognition. Of course this was Holly. It all made sense now, and even though he’d been thrown off by the wheelchair, there was something he’d instantly recognized in her essence.
His second reaction was sorrow. His soul shattered for Holly. She couldn’t walk? The same woman he’d been corresponding with for more than a solid year was in a wheelchair. Hadn’t she written him about being an accomplished rider? About wanting a house full of kids one day? What had happened to her? Had this all been a big scam? Thoughts were whizzing through his brain until he felt himself becoming dizzy.
Confusion covered him like a shroud. His mind went totally blank. Suddenly, he was stumbling around in the darkness without a way out.
“Why?” His voice came out raspy and uneven. He shoved his fingers through his hair as myriad emotions flitted through him. “Why didn’t you tell me? What is this all about?” The tone of his voice sounded sharp and raised, but he was well past caring about that. It hurt so badly that Holly had tried to trick him. The chocolate Labrador retriever began growling low in his throat, the hairs on his back raised. The dog sat down in front of Holly, acting as a protector.
“Shush, Bingo. Quiet down,” Holly said in a firm voice as she patted the top of his head.
Cassidy cleared her throat and looked over at Holly, her eyes wide with concern. “Holly. What do you want me to do? Should I stay?”
Holly met Cassidy’s gaze. She gave her best friend a tentative smile and shook her head. “Go back to the gallery, Cass. I’m sorry I involved you in this.”
Cassidy glanced back and forth between them, hesitating for a moment before she headed for the door. She pulled it open and cast a lingering glance over her shoulder at the two of them. The look in her eyes warned him to go easy on Holly. The sound of the door clicking closed behind her rang out in the stillness of the foyer.
The silence that lingered in Cassidy’s wake was painful. Considering written communication between them had always felt effortless, it was an odd sensation.
“I’m sorry, Dylan. Please don’t blame Cassidy for pretending to be me. It was all my idea. And it’s not something I’m proud of by any means.”
“Then why’d you do it?” he asked, needing to know what this ruse was all about.
“When I got your letter today, I panicked,” she admitted. She gestured toward her legs. “Not telling you about my being paralyzed was cowardly. I should have told you in the very beginning, but as time went by, it became harder and harder.” She hung her head. “I should never have kept secrets from you, Dylan. It was wrong of me.”
“When? How?” He was fumbling with his words. There was so much he wanted to say, to ask, but he still felt out of sorts. He was still reeling from the news. The shock reverberated down to his very core.
“I was in a car accident when I was eighteen, right after I graduated from high school. My friends and I were playing a reckless-driving game, and I didn’t have my seat belt on. The roads were slick that night, and we weren’t being responsible. Cassidy lost control and hit a stone wall. I was thrown from the car.” Holly’s shoulders sagged. “As a result, I lost the use of my legs.”
His mouth felt as dry as sandpaper. He had to ask the question, couldn’t deal with not knowing. Already it was nagging at him relentlessly.
“Permanently?” His voice sounded like a croak.
“Yes. My spinal cord was partially severed. Even though I still have some sensation, I won’t ever walk again. Not in this lifetime.”
The words slammed into him with the force of a tidal wave. The news left him feeling unsteady on his feet. It felt like a kick in the gut. He felt so selfish for thinking it, but there it was, settled firmly around his heart. Why hadn’t she told him? His hands were trembling like a leaf. He felt such incredible disappointment in her decision to withhold something so important from him. As a person who’d been caught in a web of lies ever since he was born, he was a big believer in the truth. And Holly had seemed so open and forthright in her letters. Had he been mistaken? Everything he’d dreamed of building with Holly had crashed and burned in a single instant. And he felt nauseous. Sick with loss and grief and dashed hopes. And he also felt devastated for her. Sweet, loyal Holly, who’d written to him over weeks and months without fail. She’d sent him care packages filled with treats and books and stuffed animals. Holly had kept him in her prayers, and in return, he’d asked God to keep her out of harm’s way. Wonderful, brave Holly, who’d no doubt been through so much pain and tragedy in her young life. Yet in her letters she’d always projected such positivity, like a strong ray of sunshine beaming down on him in a war-torn, unstable land.
Still, it didn’t sit well with him that she hadn’t come clean to him. It made him question every single thing he knew about her. He’d traveled all this way to meet her, all in the hopes of starting a life with her. In his mind, he’d begun to think of her in a forever type of way. The ring, the white picket fence, the kids, promises of forever. Once again, he’d been a prize fool. Counting chickens, his mother called it, and she’d been warning him against doing so ever since he was knee high to a grasshopper.
And there was something else. Holly being in a wheelchair brought him back to a place and time where he himself had been disabled. A roadside bomb in Afghanistan had blown the Humvee he was driving to smithereens. Two soldiers in his unit had been killed, with another losing his sight. The injuries he’d sustained due to the IED had been life threatening. In the beginning, he’d been told he might never walk again. But, over weeks and months he’d crawled his way out of the dark, black hole and gotten his life back. And to prove a point, he’d volunteered for another tour, just to show he hadn’t been beaten. He was still standing.
“I’m sorry you came all the way here only to be disappointed.”
Holly’s melodic voice dragged him out of the past, so that his feet were solidly planted in the here and now. And even though he wanted to run from this situation, he had no choice but to face it. “No, it’s not about that. It’s just—” Just what? How could he explain it to Holly without hurting her or making her feel more ashamed of the information she’d withheld? He needed to be sensitive to her feelings, but at the same time, he couldn’t sugarcoat things. He had to be honest with himself as well as Holly. So far, things were not playing out as he’d imagined.
“I suppose you had a preconceived notion about me, right? Cute. Blond. Blue-eyed. Standing on two feet.” She breathed out a tiny huff of air. “Wheelchairs don’t exactly come to mind when you’re painting a picture in your head of someone, do they?”
He let out a ragged sigh, then raked his fingers through his military cut. “I don’t know what to say, what to think.” He rocked back on his boots, then looked away from her intense scrutiny. She seemed to be studying him, and it made him feel slightly uncomfortable. With a groan he turned back toward her. “I’m being honest here. If I’d known from the beginning, I’m sure I wouldn’t be feeling this way.” He shook his head, trying to rid his mind of all the jumbled thoughts. “Okay, that’s not true. Or maybe it is. I don’t know how I would feel, Holly. I just feel a little caught off guard. You weren’t straight with me. Don’t you think I deserved to know? It makes me wonder if you were ever planning to come clean with me.” Although it pained him a little to press the point, he felt he deserved an explanation.
Holly nodded, and he saw a soft sheen glimmering in her eyes. Those incredible blue eyes he’d been dreaming about gazing into were awash in tears. For the first time he noticed how pretty she was, and if it hadn’t been for the wheelchair, he might have recognized her right off. It had thrown him, since he’d never been given a single hint about her condition. And he hated to admit it, but he’d looked right through her. The wheelchair had served as a barrier to the truth.
He’d been under the belief that there wasn’t a single thing about Holly he didn’t know. She was his champion. His Texas rose. The woman he’d been so wrapped up in for the past twelve months. But when she’d greeted him at the door, the wheelchair had served as a buffer between them, and it made him feel a little small to realize that he hadn’t even really given her more than a cursory glance.
“Of course you had a right to know, especially when we started discussing the future and meeting one another in person. And I did plan to meet you...on my own terms, when I was ready to tell you everything.” Tears slid down her face. Her chin trembled and quivered. Despite it all, she held her head up high. Her countenance said a lot about her. She was strong. She’d had to be, he reckoned. Being paralyzed at the tender age of eighteen didn’t leave one a lot of choices, did it? He had a hunch Holly had dug in deep and persevered, relying on her faith and family to sustain her.
“Believe it or not, I’m pretty courageous in most other aspects of my life. For some reason, I just didn’t have the guts to tell you the truth. I kept promising myself I would with each and every letter, but as time moved on, it became more and more difficult to do so.”
Suddenly, the tables had turned. Just like that, his anger fizzled. Instead of feeling upset with her, he was now feeling badly for Holly. It was confusing, since he was the one who’d been deceived. He was the one who had no idea where he went from here. With no job, four months of rent paid up to Doc Sampson and nothing going the way he’d imagined, his future was seriously in question. All he knew was that he wanted to comfort this woman he’d grown to care about.
“Hey, don’t cry, Holly. My mama always told me a pretty girl should never cry.” He got down on his haunches beside her chair, then leaned over and brushed her tears away with his thumb.
“At least you think I’m pretty,” she joked, the corners of her mouth creasing in a slight smile. Her dry comment made him want to grin back at her, even though the circumstances didn’t exactly call for it. Wheelchair or no wheelchair, she still had withheld vital information from him. She hadn’t been half as transparent as she’d seemed on paper.
Holly was far more than pretty, he realized. Beautiful, even. He started to tell her so, but he stopped, determined not to go down that road. Not today when so many things were up in the air between them. Not when his stomach was tangled up in knots and he couldn’t seem to think past this very moment. The intense feeling holding him in its grip was easily recognizable. It was fear. Because even though he was a decorated soldier who had served two tours of duty in Afghanistan, the thought of Holly being in a wheelchair sent anxiety racing through him.
And even though he still cared about her, he wasn’t certain he saw a future for the two of them. Call it crazy, but ever since Holly had come into his life, dreams of them together forever filled his head at night as he drifted off to slumber. Although he felt a stab of guilt for even thinking it, he couldn’t deny the doubts coursing through him. He’d just made it home from a combat zone after seeing his fellow soldiers and civilians broken and bloodied and lifeless. He wasn’t sure he was up to any more challenges. Did knowing he might not be able to handle this make him a bad person?
Dear Lord, please give me some clarity. Holly is such a sweet, warm person, but I don’t want to plunge headlong into a situation I can’t emotionally handle. And I’m still really confused about where we go from here. A huge curveball was thrown at me when I wasn’t expecting it. Life has shown me that everything happens for a reason, yet I can’t fathom why I’m here. And I can’t wrap my head around Holly being a paraplegic. It reminds me so much of everything I left behind in Afghanistan. Am I strong enough to get past this deception?
“What are you going to do now?” She looked at him sorrowfully, her expression full of regret and a hundred different emotions he didn’t want to analyze.
Dylan shrugged as reality set in. He really didn’t have anyplace to go. With his mother having recently moved to New Mexico with her new husband, there was no longer anything tying him to his hometown. He’d burned all his bridges with his father a while ago, no longer content with being a dirty little secret. His outside child. The one who didn’t matter. It had been almost six years since he’d spoken to him. He wasn’t even certain his father knew he’d made it back from Afghanistan. Nor did he think he even cared. For too long now, he’d been seeking something from the man that he’d never been willing to give. Acceptance. Unconditional love.
At the moment he felt like a ship without a rudder. Here he was in West Falls, Texas, as clueless as the day he was born. For so long he’d been running. From his father. From the painful gibes about his paternity. He’d run away from Madden, Oklahoma, straight into the service. At some point he just had to stand still. And perhaps God had placed him here in West Falls for a reason.
He stroked his chin with his thumb, deep in thought. “My rent is paid up for the next four months, and I really don’t have a lot of options. I need to find a job until I can get on my feet. From what I’ve seen, West Falls is a nice community.”
Holly’s eyes began to blink, and her mouth was agape. “You’re staying?”
He was still filled with so much uncertainty, but this decision to stick around was based more on practicality than anything else. In his current financial situation, losing several months’ rent was a big deal. For years he’d been sending the majority of his active-duty paycheck back home to his mother. And even though she’d socked some of it away for him in a bank account, he was still far from being solvent. In order to realize his dreams of owning his own ranch, he needed to keep making positive strides in that direction. Instead of acting impulsively once again, he’d have to stick around West Falls, at least until his lease ran out. And perhaps he could find work to tide him over while he was in town.
Holly’s gaze was strong and steady. It made him squirm some. Her eyes were such a deep, piercing blue. They pulled him in, and for a moment, all he could do was stare at her. Holly. His pen pal. His more than a friend but not quite a girlfriend. At the moment she was an enigma. As much as her letters had revealed about her life at Horseshoe Bend Ranch, her family and her abiding faith, she’d kept her disability a secret. Surely there were ripple effects in her daily life because of the accident and her being a paraplegic.
“Yep,” he acknowledged begrudgingly. “It looks like I’ll be staying for a while.”
Holly’s eyes widened, and her throat convulsed as she swallowed. “West Falls will welcome you with open arms. And it would be fine with me if you wanted to work here at the ranch. With your background, it would make perfect sense.”
Open arms? For some reason he couldn’t imagine it. His own hometown hadn’t been half as accepting of him and the single mother who’d raised him. No, they’d been considered inferior due to his mother’s unmarried status and the lack of a father figure in the picture. It hadn’t helped matters that his mother had been stunningly beautiful, making all the married women in town clutch their husbands tightly to their sides whenever she was in their presence. She hadn’t deserved their judgment and disapproval. Hurt roared through him as the bitter memories swept over him. There hadn’t been an ounce of compassion or goodness in any of them!
Holly shot him a nervous smile. “It’s a big place with plenty of work to keep you busy.”
He nodded at her, his thoughts a jumbled mess. So far this day had not shaped up as he’d planned. And he had no one to blame but himself for much of it. “I’ll think about it. It’s mighty nice for you to suggest it,” he said. “Especially since I showed up here out of the blue.”
“I think it might work out nicely,” she said, her expression a bit guarded. “If you’re open to it.”
He felt himself frowning. There was no way he was getting too optimistic about West Falls, even if the idea of a job at Horseshoe Bend Ranch seemed almost perfect. If he built up his hopes too high, he’d most likely be disappointed. He’d taken this huge leap of faith without thinking things through in a mature manner. And he’d gotten burned by her lie.
All this time he’d been focused on meeting Holly and building on the foundation they’d already established. But perhaps he’d really been doing what he’d always done. Running away. From Madden. From the fear of failure. From a father, who treated him like a castoff. Far away from gossipmongers and painful half-truths. Unknowingly, he’d run straight toward another complicated situation. He’d gotten involved with a woman who didn’t think enough of him to be straight with him.
Although he’d been hopeful about finally finding peace in this town, things weren’t half as simple as he’d envisioned. Just when he’d thought his life was about to be as calm as a lake in summer, a twist of fate had changed everything. At the moment he felt as uncertain about his future as when he’d been dodging land mines in the fields of Afghanistan.
* * *
“Picasso, you’re a beauty,” Holly cooed as she brushed the onyx-colored colt. With her other hand she reached up and fingered the white star on his forehead. She had a soft spot for the handsome horse who’d been born at Horseshoe Bend Ranch during a terrible storm last summer. Although the storm had greatly damaged Main Street Church, it had served as a catalyst to bring her brother and her best friend back together as a couple. For that she would always be grateful.
Rather than sitting at home fretting about the situation with Dylan, she’d gotten in her van and headed down the road to the stables. Being able to drive gave her a sense of independence. Once she was behind the wheel, the world didn’t seem so small anymore. She didn’t feel so much like a caged bird. And she was never more centered than when she was spending time with her horses. This was where she felt most comfortable, a place where her dreams resided.
One day, she vowed, she’d get back on a horse and ride across the beautiful landscape of Horseshoe Bend Ranch. Sadly, she’d never be able to ride in the same manner as she had before the car crash—wild, spirited galloping through the countryside. But she would still be able to experience the unforgettable sensation of being at one with her horses. For the first time in a long time, she’d be free.
Malachi, who’d worked at the ranch since she was a teenager, had given her space as soon as she’d gotten out of the van, seeming to know intuitively that she was seeking solitude the moment she’d shown up. With his dark, brooding eyes, prominent cheekbones and solemn expression, he was the strong, introspective type.
A few times he stepped outside the barn and checked on her, his movements stealthy as he watched her. It was almost enough to make her smile, watching Malachi observing her when he thought she wasn’t paying attention.
Holly heard the crunch of tires on the dirt and the slam of a car door. Shuffling noises let her know someone was walking toward her. As the steps got closer and closer, she called out, “Uh-oh. I must be in trouble if the sheriff of West Falls is paying me a visit in the middle of the afternoon.”
“What in the world is going on out here?” a male voice barked.
The sound of her brother’s voice confirmed her hunch. She swiveled her head around and made eye contact with Tate, taking in his furrowed brow and the deep scowl on his face.
“Something tells me you already know.” She knew Cassidy like the back of her hand. There was a time when she’d kept secrets from Tate—things that had almost doomed their relationship. Now that they were happily engaged, Cassidy wasn’t going to hold back anything from the man she loved. She wouldn’t do it, not even for her best friend. The stern look on her brother’s face confirmed what she already suspected—Tate knew all about the circumstances surrounding Dylan’s visit.
“Cassidy was quite upset. She told me the whole story. I had to practically pry it out of her to find out what you’d said to hurt her feelings so badly.” Tate’s mouth was pinched tightly, his brown eyes narrowed into slits. “Did you seriously throw the past in her face like that?”
Holly looked away and tucked her chin against her chest. She couldn’t bear to see such disappointment in Tate’s eyes. “I messed up. Big time. What I said to her about owing me—” Heat burned her cheeks as her own words came back to her.
“—should never have been said,” Tate finished. His features were etched in grim lines.
Holly wiped her hand across her face, getting rid of the beads of sweat gathered on her forehead. “You have no idea how much I regret saying those words. I wouldn’t hurt Cassidy for the world. You know that. I’m just not myself today. And I fully plan to meet up with her tomorrow and apologize.”
Tate raised an eyebrow. His features softened. “Seems to me if it wasn’t for this soldier friend of yours, you would never have gone to that hurtful place with Cassidy.”
She fought against a rising sense of irritation with her brother. At twenty-six years old, she was responsible for her own actions. It was high time Tate stopped giving her a free pass.
“Please don’t blame Dylan. None of this is his fault.”
“So what exactly is he to you? A friend? Pen pal? Or something more?” Tate’s voice was tinged with curiosity.
Holly sighed. Tate’s question hit a sore spot. Although it was clear feelings had blossomed between the two of them over the course of more than a year, neither of them had ever laid their feelings on the line. And having a letter-writing relationship couldn’t begin to compare to a real face-to-face interaction. Other than gut instinct, she didn’t have any proof of Dylan’s feelings. She had the feeling that coming to West Falls had been his way of exploring their relationship and showing her how much he wanted them to meet one-on-one. After all, hadn’t Dylan written about wanting to say certain things to her in person? But now everything had changed. She’d been a fool to ever think she was on Dylan’s level.
“We were building toward something. I’m pretty sure that’s why he came all this way to see me.” She let out a ragged breath, releasing the weight of the world from her shoulders. “For the first time since the accident, I felt as if I was developing a romantic rapport with someone. And I got carried away with those feelings. I can admit that. It felt so good to be treated like a whole person. I just didn’t want that to end. That’s why I hid the truth from him in all of my letters.”
“Being a paraplegic doesn’t make you any less of a person.” Tate made a clucking sound. “The sight of you in a wheelchair shouldn’t send him running.”
“He has every right to be mad. And upset. And disappointed.” She lowered her head, unable to look her brother in the eye.
Tate reached down and lifted up her chin. “Don’t even go down that road. You could never be a disappointment. You’re beautiful and funny and smart, with a heart as big as the outdoors.”
“He doesn’t see a future with me.” The words clogged in her throat, and she fought the sudden urge to cry. Where had all her strength gone? Why did her insides feel like mush?
Tate scowled, looking every inch the tough Texas lawman. He clenched his jaw. “Did he say that to you?”
She swallowed. It was painful admitting the truth. “He didn’t have to, Tate. I could see it in his eyes. In the way he looked at me. All the life went out of them.”
He made a clucking sound with his tongue. “Then he’s not worth a single second more of your time.”
She could see the raw emotion on her brother’s face. It mirrored how she felt inside. Her throat clogged up. “That’s not fair. I was the one who wasn’t honest. No matter how I justified it at the time, it was wrong of me.”
Tate rocked back on his heels, his silver-tipped cowboy boots glinting in the sun. He jammed his fists into his front pockets.
“Any man would be blessed to have you.” He gazed off into the distance, his expression steely. “I worry about you, little sis. And it has nothing to do with you being in a wheelchair. You’ve worn your emotions on your sleeve ever since you were a kid. It kills me to think of someone hurting you.”
“It’s part of being alive. It happens when you live life.” She shrugged. “Let’s face it. It comes with the territory. Even tough lawmen like you aren’t immune to it.”
Tate swung his gaze back in her direction. His eyes were moist. “You’ve always been a wise soul, do you know that? Even when we were kids and I was trying to protect you from the world, you always had a strong head on your shoulders. You never really needed me to fight your battles, did you?”
Holly chuckled as memories of her overprotective brother ran through her mind. “Nope, I didn’t. But I always loved the fact that you cared enough to be my protector. It made me feel special.”
“I’ll never give up that role, you know,” Tate said with a smirk. “It’s a lifelong assignment.”
Holly playfully rolled her eyes. “I can’t wait till you and Cassidy get married and have a house full of kids. You’ll be so busy chasing after them you won’t have time to watch over me.”
The thought of it made her a little wistful. Would she ever have a husband and a house full of kids? Or would she be relegated to the role of spinster auntie? Even before the accident, she’d always dreamed of rocking a baby to sleep in her arms. Now that might never happen. Was it realistic to dream of things that might not come to pass?
“It’s hard to believe we’re finally getting married.” His larger-than-life grin was threatening to take over his entire face. It was nice to see Tate so overjoyed and on the verge of having all his dreams come to fruition. For a few minutes the two of them simply savored the moment, basking in the promise of tomorrow. Each and every day, Holly found great inspiration in Tate and Cassidy’s love story. It kept her hoping and dreaming and praying. Perhaps she, too, would find her happily ever after.
“By the way, Dylan’s not running.” She tried to keep her tone conversational, despite the rapid quickening of her pulse. “For the next few months, anyway, he’s sticking around in West Falls.”
Her brother raised an eyebrow. “So what does that mean for the two of you?”
“We’re just friends,” she said. “I even told him to apply for a job here at the ranch. He’s plenty qualified.”
Tate furrowed his brow. “You’re okay with him working here?”
She nodded her head vigorously. “I think it would be great. Hopefully I’ll get the chance to win back his trust, if he’ll allow me to.”
Even though her statement was technically true about being in the friend zone with Dylan, she couldn’t deny the rush of adrenaline she felt at the mere thought of him. Dylan Hart, her gorgeous, green-eyed pen pal. Her brave soldier. The man who’d traveled all the way from Oklahoma to see her, based on the connection they’d established.
For a woman who’d fought tooth and nail to rebuild her life after losing the ability to walk, it didn’t feel good to feel so conflicted. She wished she could turn back time and rewrite all the letters she’d sent to Dylan. This time around she wouldn’t hesitate to tell him the truth. Pressing her eyes closed, she prayed that she might have the opportunity to show Dylan she was the kind of woman he’d believed her to be before he’d arrived in West Falls.
Chapter Four (#ulink_43adfe92-1610-5123-b9c7-711612c463eb)
Dylan revved the engine of his truck, hoping the loud noise would rid his mind of all the chaotic thoughts swirling around him. The urge to leave Horseshoe Bend Ranch felt overwhelming. He slammed his hand against the steering wheel, letting out a low groan as he did so. Frustration speared him. Why would God allow a young girl to lose the use of her legs? Why did things like this happen?
The feelings of helplessness roared through him like thunder. It was the same question he’d pondered when Benji and Simon Akol had been killed in such a senseless, violent way. Where was He that day? In the days following Benji’s and Simon’s deaths, he’d been flat on his back, recovering from a broken neck, a hairline skull fracture and facial lacerations. For endless hours he’d replayed the explosion in his mind—the wreckage, the blood, the cries of pain, which still rang out in his ears. All the while he’d had no clue that two members of his squad had been killed, wiped out in a single deadly blast. His focus had been on staying alive.
Dark memories swept over him, threatening to take him to a place he didn’t want to revisit. He’d tried so hard to forget the feelings of despair that had consumed him in the days and weeks after the bomb blast. And the fear of the unknown. He didn’t want to lash out at God, not when he’d come so far on his spiritual journey. Although he still had a ways to go, he knew he’d turned a corner two and a half years ago. There was no way he was going back to that place in time when he’d been a nonbeliever.
Pressing his eyes closed, he tried to stop the flood of images from rushing through his mind. He didn’t like to go back to those moments when dread had been ever present. It made him feel vulnerable and weak and not in control of his own destiny.
Son, you may never walk again. The military chaplain had clasped his hand and broken the news to him in the most compassionate way possible. He’d completely broken down, unable to comprehend a life without the use of his legs. During the bleakest days of his life, his mother had been at his side. They’d prayed together, asking God to grant him mercy and healing. In the end, once all the swelling subsided, he’d experienced sensation in his toes. From there he’d endured months of physical therapy, resulting in his regaining 100 percent function.
As the beautiful West Falls landscape passed by his window, a feeling of uncertainty grabbed hold of him. What am I doing here? I thought by coming to West Falls I was following a path that would lead me toward the next chapter of my life. Had this entire journey been nothing more than a pipe dream? A rash, foolish mistake?
The downtown area of West Falls was a vibrant section filled with quaint businesses. It looked like something one might see on a festive postcard. Colorful awnings, old-fashioned lampposts, kids skipping along the sidewalk. The Bowlarama caught his eye. Bowling had been one of his favorite pastimes as a kid growing up in Madden. For some reason Holly’s image flashed before his eyes, and he wondered if she bowled. Was it even possible?

Конец ознакомительного фрагмента.
Текст предоставлен ООО «ЛитРес».
Прочитайте эту книгу целиком, купив полную легальную версию (https://www.litres.ru/belle-calhoune/heart-of-a-soldier/) на ЛитРес.
Безопасно оплатить книгу можно банковской картой Visa, MasterCard, Maestro, со счета мобильного телефона, с платежного терминала, в салоне МТС или Связной, через PayPal, WebMoney, Яндекс.Деньги, QIWI Кошелек, бонусными картами или другим удобным Вам способом.