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Back in Her Husband's Arms
Susanne Hampton
All she ever wanted…After their heartbreaking separation, Sara Fielding can’t resist one last unforgettable night with her soon-to-be-ex-husband Tom. Their love has never diminished, but Sara so wants a family – the one thing Tom feels he can’t give her. Their divorce seems certain – until Sara’s new job unexpectedly finds her working with Tom. Soon they’re learning more about each other than ever before. But will discovering Tom’s deepest secret be enough to bring Sara back to his arms for good…?



It could only be for tonight. For old times’ sake, she reasoned silently. There was no chance of anything more.
They had tried that and it didn’t work. She wasn’t going there again. She wasn’t giving up her dreams for this man. But she knew her heart was finally out of harm’s way—it was safely tucked inside the walls that she had erected when she’d walked out and left him—so she gave in to her desires. It would just be one night, she reassured herself.
He was staring straight at her with his bedroom eyes. Despite wondering if she was about to make one of life’s bad decisions and one she might just regret, she seemed powerless to stop. Was it lust or was it love? She wasn’t sure, but it was going to happen.
“Don’t tell me to stop. I know what I’m about to do—” she started.
Suddenly her words were cut short by his lips pressing against hers. His hands gently cupped her face as his mouth captured her sigh. She didn’t fight him. She didn’t want to talk anymore. Her hands instinctively reached up and pulled him closer. Her body arched with desire. She was aflame with the heat in his fingers as his hands slid under her clothing to stroke her bare skin. His kisses became more urgent and she opened her mouth to him. She wanted to feel him, to have him, just once more.
Dear Reader,
I am so happy to bring you this story of love the second time around.
Tom and Sara are two very dedicated doctors who fell in love but have been driven apart by a secret in Tom’s past that has prevented him from fulfilling Sara’s dream for their future. Sara has walked away from their marriage still deeply in love but not willing to sacrifice her needs. For the first time in her life she’s made a stand—even though it has broken her heart.
Fate brings them together three years later and they quickly discover the passion they shared is still very much present. But so are their differences.
Circumstance finds them spending four weeks working together, and they must make a choice: to fight their desire and continue on different paths leading away from each other, or to surrender to their longings and find a way forward in each other’s arms.
Tom and Sara are two wonderfully strong characters, and I hope you enjoy reading about their journey to find happiness as much as I loved writing this second chapter to their special love story.
Love really can be rekindled…it just takes faith, honesty and two pure hearts.
Susanne Hampton
Back in Her Husband’s Arms
Susanne Hampton

www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Married to the man she met at eighteen, SUSANNE HAMPTON is the mother of two adult daughters—one a musician and the other an artist.
The family also extends to a slightly irritable Maltese shih-tzu, a neurotic poodle, three elderly ducks and four hens that only very occasionally bother to lay eggs. Susanne loves everything romantic and pretty, so her home is brimming with romance novels, movies and shoes.

With an interest in all things medical, her career has been in the dental field and the medical world in different roles, and now Susanne has taken that love into writing Mills & Boon© Medical Romance
.
A recent title by Susanne Hampton:

UNLOCKING THE DOCTOR’S HEART
These books are also available in ebook format
from www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk).
Dedication
To the very special women in my life who have helped me through life’s challenging times and made me stronger.
Your friendship is more precious than diamonds and a treasure greater than gold.
And to Charlotte for being the most amazing editor…thank you for your unlimited patience and encouragement.
Contents
CHAPTER ONE (#u190f1175-c410-5083-a401-16ebe45b2c2a)
CHAPTER TWO (#uf101ce53-82ae-5d5b-af4f-791a620cfa47)
CHAPTER THREE (#u64b9db18-2d12-564d-8c3d-860e76c52a2e)
CHAPTER FOUR (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ELEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWELVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ONE
SARA FIELDING MADE her way along the wet footpath, dodging the small potholes that had filled with water from the overnight rain, her feet tucked inside flat knee-high boots. It was eight in the morning and bitterly cold. She tugged her collar up against the breeze that was cutting through her heavy overcoat, wishing she had worn her woollen tights.
Winter mornings in Melbourne were brutal, she remembered, and today was no exception. It had been thundering down when her plane had landed only an hour before and she had caught a cab straight into the city. The rain had paused momentarily but the overcast sky promised another downpour at any moment. Her favourite pair of brown leather gloves were only just preventing her fingers from freezing around the handle of her briefcase, so she quickly picked up her pace. She didn’t want to arrive at the hospital soaked to the bone.
Sara had been living in Adelaide for the last three years and this was only her second trip back to Melbourne in all that time. The first had been four weeks ago when she’d travelled over to finalise her visa at the American embassy. Sara had had serious reservations about returning to Melbourne at all. She would have preferred any other city, but it was the United States embassy that processed South Australian visa applications. She’d had no choice.
Melbourne held wonderful memories but also a sadness that she really didn’t want to face. She had told herself it was only an overnight stay. A quick trip. Nothing to worry about. But now, looking back, she realised she should have listened to her intuition and stayed far away from the town where Tom Fielding still lived. She was already planning a new life in Texas. So much further from Melbourne. So much further from the temptation of Tom Fielding.
She now knew that she couldn’t trust her heart, or her body for that matter, around the man. He wasn’t a bad man, quite the opposite, in fact, but he was definitely the wrong man for her. Against her will, Sara’s thoughts were dragged back to that brief trip and how terribly wrong it had all gone.
Day one had been fine. The visa application had been processed without any hiccups. It had been day two when Sara had found herself sitting alone at Vue de Monde on the fifty-fifth floor of the historic Rialto building. She had ordered her meal and had been in high spirits, sipping her white wine and thinking about her impending trip to Texas.
She had been offered a position at a large teaching hospital in San Antonio. It was going to be a fresh start, a chance to move on and find a life that might just fulfil her dreams. Sara had finally grown tired of her life revolving around what everyone else wanted. Sacrificing her dreams, her hopes, for the needs of everyone else had become a pattern until three years ago. That fateful day when she’d decided she couldn’t give up on one particular dream. She hoped this move would give her the chance to realise that dream. The dream of becoming a mother. She knew she had the packing, the shipping and all that a move of that distance entailed, but it would be worth every bit of effort. She would be free to live her life on her terms.
Suddenly her thoughts were stolen. As was her breath. Both taken by the vision of a man she’d thought she would never see again.
Sara did a double take. Could it be? She shook her head a little. Could it really be him?
He walked into the restaurant and took a seat at a table by the window. It had been three years since she had last seen him. They hadn’t contacted each other since she’d left. No telephone calls. No letters. Nothing.
Perhaps it was her imagination. Perhaps it was someone who looked just like him.
Then she reminded herself there was really no other man who came close to his looks, his stature, his charisma. It was definitely Tom Fielding. All six foot two inches of him had crossed the room and had turned every woman’s head as he’d done so.
Sara’s heart raced a little as she watched him take the wine list from the waitress. She saw the waitress attempt to flirt, it was subtle, but enough for another woman to notice. Tom was unmoved. He didn’t appear to notice or, if he did, he didn’t respond. The flustered waitress placed the napkin in his lap and hovered, a little longer than necessary.
Sara felt a tightening in her chest and butterflies awakening in the pit of her stomach as the reality of being this close to Tom hit home. She had forgotten the effect he had on her. And apparently still did. Her emotions began playing havoc, sending her mind into a tailspin. She looked away. Swallowing hard, she began to play with her cutlery absent-mindedly.
She hadn’t expected so many mixed emotions to come in to play. Attraction, regret, melancholy, guilt, even a hint of lust. This was not supposed to happen. This was a bad dream playing out. Sharing the same restaurant as Tom was not in the plan, and her options to escape the uncomfortable situation were limited. She could hardly leave the restaurant after ordering her dinner. Most likely it would draw even more attention to her. She didn’t want to look back in Tom’s direction but she was drawn to him. Drawn to him just like the conflicting desire to gaze at an open wound.
Tom chose a wine and handed the waitress back the wine list. He looked out the window across the sweeping views of the Melbourne skyline. The panorama of lights all twinkling against the black sky. Then he turned in his seat, just a little, but enough to see Sara.
He didn’t move. He froze in his chair, staring in silence. Sara did the same. She had no idea what he was thinking. She barely knew what she was thinking as she looked at the handsome curves of his face and the generous sweep of his broad shoulders in his tailored black jacket. The ultra-modern restaurant was dimly lit and combined with the dark charcoal and earthy brown tones of the sleek decor it was difficult to make out very much. Except that he was still handsome. So very handsome.
It wasn’t cocky good looks he possessed. It was as if he just didn’t know how appealing he was to women. He had always been that way. He obviously knew on some level that he was attractive but he never took advantage of it or seemed impressed by the gift nature had bestowed on him. Tom Fielding was a lot deeper than skin alone.
He stood up then hesitated for a moment, as if to seek some sort of approval to approach. But he did anyway. Her stomach was a tangled mess of nerves as she watched him drop his napkin on the table and cross over to her. His eyes didn’t leave her face for an instant.
‘Sara,’ he began, as he bent down to kiss her cheek. The scent of his cologne filled her senses. It wasn’t overpowering, it was subtle and sensual. It was Tom.
‘It’s so good to see you,’ he continued.
Sara was momentarily speechless. She knew she was in Melbourne, it wasn’t as if they had bumped into each other in an isolated town on the other side of the world. Perhaps she shouldn’t have even been surprised, but it was still overwhelming.
‘Lovely to see you too, Tom,’ she finally breathed in reply. It was a struggle as she felt her heart cramp.
‘May I?’ he asked, as his hand rested on the empty chair.
Sara nodded and he pulled out the chair and sat down at her table. Out of habit, he reached across and touched her hand.
* * *
Looking back in the harsh light of day, Sara realised that had been her first mistake. She should have kept Tom Fielding at arm’s length. It had begun to rain, and Sara regretted not asking her cab from the airport to drop her at the nearest coffee shop to the hospital. She needed a short black to wake herself up after the early flight and couldn’t bear the thought of cafeteria coffee. She was in search of the strength only a barista could provide. Picking up her steps even more, her mind raced back to that night. That silly, stupid night four weeks ago.
* * *
Dinner alone had turned into dinner for two, then a stroll, and then drinks at a bar in the city. Scars had a way of fading a little in the soft lights of the evening, particularly when wine was involved. Old times, old feelings, old reasons for falling in love replaced the wounds and hurt. Her defences became shaky and, against her will, they finally fell.
Reason didn’t have a chance. Just before midnight, they were alone in her hotel room. Tom looked more appealing than any man she had ever seen. Sitting on the edge of her bed in his long black jeans, his suede boots a little dusty, his dark blond hair pushed back in waves that brushed the collar of his white linen shirt. His jacket was flung over the small sofa by the window.
He looked like a cowboy. Her cowboy for tonight.
And it could only be for tonight. For old times’ sake, she reasoned silently. There was no chance of anything more. They had tried that and it didn’t work. She wasn’t going there again. She wasn’t giving up her dreams for this man. But she knew her heart was finally out of harm’s way. It was safely protected inside the walls that she had carefully erected when she had walked out and left him, so she gave in to her desires. It’s only one night, she reassured herself.
He was staring straight at her with his bedroom eyes. Despite wondering if she was about to make one of life’s bad decisions and one she might just regret, she seemed too powerless to stop herself. Was it lust or was it love? She wasn’t sure but it was going to happen.
‘Don’t tell me to stop, I know what I’m about to do...’ she started.
Suddenly her words were cut short by his lips pressing against hers. His hands gently cupped her face as his mouth captured her sigh. She didn’t fight him. She didn’t want to talk any more. Her hands instinctively reached up and pulled him closer. Her body arched with desire. She was aflame with the heat in his fingers as his hands slid under her clothing to stroke her bare skin. His kisses became more urgent and she opened her mouth to him. She wanted to feel him, to have him, just once more. To feel his body next to hers and to taste him. He unbuttoned her blouse and slid it from her warm skin, tossing it on the floor as he trailed moist kisses down her neck.
‘I want you, Sara, and I’m going to have you tonight,’ he breathed low and heavy with desire as his fingers traced gentle lines along the bare skin of her thigh.
His hands moved to the curve of her spine and he pulled her even closer to his hard body. She felt her pulse racing as her fingers threaded through his hair and she kissed him more deeply than before. They fell back onto the bed, discarding the last remnants of clothing before their bodies became one.
* * *
Sara Fielding had woken in her hotel room the next morning more confused than she thought possible. It had all seemed so clear the night before. Just two people sharing a night of pleasure. Two consenting adults needing each other. Nothing more. But now it was anything but clear. She realised just how vulnerable she still was with Tom. She pulled the sheets up to her chin like a flimsy shield. A feeling of dread hit the pit of her stomach.
As daylight slipped through the gap in the heavy curtains she could see the fine stubble on his chin. The satin sheet was barely covering him, and his tanned chest was sculpted like a statue. They had made love all night and he was still the caring, amazing lover she remembered. But she should never have done it. She looked up at the ceiling of the room, wondering what possessed her to be so stupid and impulsive. It was not like her.
She had spent the last three years trying to push past the hurt and disappointment and then, in a few passionate hours, she had ignored her own logic and risked opening up old wounds. She couldn’t blame it on the wine, she hadn’t even finished her drink at the restaurant and had hardly touched the martini at the bar.
Hormones, memories, melancholy, maybe even the remnants of the love they had once shared, had overridden the voice of reason and they had returned to her room together.
Now, in the light of morning, she wanted to scream at herself. Why?
In a few short weeks he would officially become her ex-husband. The divorce would be finalised. She had managed to stay away for all those years, finally finding the resolve to ask for a divorce, and then, just before it became official, she’d slept with him.
She rolled her eyes in disappointment and confusion. Her lawyer had told her that Tom wasn’t contesting the divorce. He had signed the papers. It was just a matter of legal processes being completed.
Perhaps it was knowing that the divorce would be finalised that made her feel safe. That was crazy, she knew, but it was the only explanation she could muster. The divorce was a piece of paper. It wasn’t a shield. It couldn’t protect her heart.
Tom began to stir. She closed her eyes and feigned sleep. She wasn’t sure what to say. Was it Thank you for a lovely evening or I know we slept together but just so you know, I’m not in love with you any more?
She needed time. Perhaps he would wake up and leave. She felt her stomach knot, not unlike the night before when he’d walked towards her at the restaurant. All those old feelings, the good and the bad, were sitting heavily in her chest.
She wasn’t sure if she had imagined it, but as she’d been falling asleep in Tom’s arms the night before, she thought she had heard him whisper, I love you. She didn’t want to go there. She wasn’t about to get involved with Tom again. It would be too easy to fall back into his arms. She had taken so long to not need him in her life. To finally realise that she had a right to live her life the way she wanted, whatever it might cost her.
She lay as still as she could. Her breathing was light but laboured as her nerves played with her anxiety level. Last night they had given in to the chemistry they had always shared. But their differences were still there. That hadn’t changed and they would never be able to move past what had torn them apart. Sara watched Tom slip from the bed and collect his clothes from all over the room. She wondered if he felt the same. A little part wished he had tried to wake her, to hold her and to talk through their differences. To solve the issues they had and to make love again.
Reason reminded her that it would never happen, so leaving without a word would be best. She hoped he’d leave a note on the hotel stationery. That’s all she should expect. All she wanted, she tried to convince herself.
She had loved every minute of his hands and his body on hers. The tenderness and sense of belonging had been undeniable but now, hearing him dressing in the other room, she knew it had been wrong. It had been a lapse in judgement for both of them.
The door of the bathroom opened and Tom emerged fully dressed. Sara closed her eyes again. She didn’t want him to catch her awake, thinking about what might have been. He fumbled for his boots then slipped on his jacket. She watched through half-open eyes as he made his way to the desk and scribbled something on the hotel notepad. Quietly, he crossed to the door of her room, opened it and left quietly. He was gone.
As the door shut, Sara sat bolt upright. She was so grateful he was gone. Or was she? She felt horribly confused. There was nothing sweeter than falling asleep wrapped in Tom’s arms, the heat of his naked body pressed against hers.
But she had to move on. He wouldn’t change. He couldn’t change. And she was tired of changing for everyone else. She almost had the divorce. She would be free. They would be free of each other. They were two very different people with very different priorities.
She wanted children.
He didn’t.
And this time she was walking away to live her life, her way.
* * *
She remembered climbing from the warm bed and heading to the shower. Trying to make sense of the night was pointless, she decided as the warm water ran over her back and shoulders. Images of Tom making love to her came rushing back. She closed her eyes and turned to face the water head-on. The water soaked her hair and ran down her face. She was leaving for Texas in eight short weeks. And she would never see Tom Fielding again.
She turned off the water and wrapped herself in a fluffy white bath towel and returned to the scene of the crime. There was a wrapper or two that she didn’t want the hotel staff to find, so she picked them up and put them in the bin. Tom was so very good at being bad but he was always very careful.
She crossed to the desk and picked up the note.

Dear Sara,
Lovely to spend time with you. All the very best for Texas.
Always,
Tom x

She smiled, a bittersweet smile at the sadness of the situation. Two people who loved each other but who both had to accept it could never be.
Sara hadn’t really pushed for divorce at first but now, with a new life in America awaiting her, she no longer wanted to be Dr Sara Fielding, wife of Dr Tom Fielding. She needed to be single. To have a chance at happiness and a family.
She had only filed for the divorce six months before. She had held onto the idea he would change his mind for too long and she knew it. But Tom had finally agreed to sign the papers. He too had accepted they were over. The way he’d left this morning showed that. Last night had been like two friends who had given in to their emotions for just one night. But her rationale was fragile in the early morning light.
* * *
The sudden sound of an ambulance siren brought Sara back from her reverie. She was beside the tall red-brick hospital walls of Augustine General Hospital and quite close to the front doors and the hospital office of her good friend Stu Anderson. Just after she’d returned from her first trip to Melbourne, Stu had mentioned he was in need of a locum oral surgeon to oversee his private practice while he was away. Sara had had the time and had wanted to help out so she had agreed to work the four weeks before she left for the US.
She was aware returning to Melbourne could hold some difficulties but she also knew she had to push past the hurt and accept the shortfalls of the city. The shortfalls being her failed marriage and the sadness that weighed down her memories of the time she had spent there. She’d studied, she’d fallen in love and she’d left. Now, all these years later she thought she needed to accept that life wasn’t perfect here but she didn’t need to stay away any longer. She just needed to keep her emotions in check.
With this new resolve, it hadn’t seemed such a bad idea when she had agreed to help out but now, being back in the city, memories of the night she had spent with Tom came charging back, and she was a little more anxious about her stay.
She tried to remind herself that Melbourne was a big city. She could avoid the Vue de Monde, and the martini bar. That wouldn’t be too difficult as there were many more restaurants and she wasn’t that fond of vermouth anyway. And luckily Tom consulted at a hospital the other side of the city.
Mindful of the hospital traffic, Sara kept to the pedestrian pathway as she made her way to the entrance. The ambulance had pulled up in the emergency parking bay and the paramedics, now joined by two hospital staff, were already removing the gurney from the back of the vehicle.
She walked around to the automatic sliding doors of the visitors’ entrance. At least she was finally under shelter. Removing her heavy overcoat, she shook the excess water out over the large grey rubber mat before she placed the coat over her arm and stepped inside. Thankfully, inside the hospital was much warmer than outside. She slipped off her gloves and placed them into the pocket of her coat. Crossing to the information counter, she ran her fingers through her damp hair and wiped the moisture from her face.
‘Hello, I’m here to see Dr Anderson. Oral maxillofacial surgery.’
The receptionist smiled, although the second glances Sara was receiving from the other administration staff made her think her appearance was a little battered by the weather. She quickly realised her hair was more than just damp when she felt trickles run down her temples and into her left ear.
The young woman picked up a box of tissues from behind the high grey and white panelled counter and offered them to Sara. ‘It’s really coming down out there, isn’t it?’
With an embarrassed smile she took a few tissues and mopped her wet forehead, cheeks and ear.
‘You need to take the elevator at the end of this corridor up to the fourth floor and you’ll find the oral surgery consulting rooms on the left as you step out.’
‘Thanks,’ Sara replied, trying to stifle a yawn. The effect of a long night of surgery, combined with an early morning flight, was starting to show. Sara had tried to keep busy since her last trip to Melbourne; she hadn’t wanted any time to think about what she had done. Unfortunately, returning to Melbourne was rapidly bringing it all back.
* * *
Tom Fielding sat in his office on the fourth floor of Augustine General Hospital, thinking back to the night he’d spent with Sara, the way he had thought about it every day for the last four weeks. Each day since that fateful night vivid, unwanted memories had reminded him of how much he still loved his soon-to-be-ex-wife. Still wanted her but couldn’t have her. He had decided to give her the divorce, hand her back her life and return to his alone. But that one night together had destroyed the solace he had finally found; it ate away at his core that there was no future for them. They had different goals, different plans for their lives, and there was no common ground any more.
Except in a hotel room at midnight.
Tom remembered his surprise and elation when he’d spied his beautiful ex-wife sitting alone across from him in the restaurant. In his eyes she was still the most gorgeous, captivating woman in the world. She was intelligent, kind, caring, strong willed and the most giving lover a man could want. A shared dinner had led to drinks and then to her hotel.
Once he had been inside her room, Tom hadn’t been able to control himself any longer. Sara had made it very clear that she wanted him just as much. He had been risking everything, including his sanity, but he’d wanted this woman more than life itself. Even if it was for just one last time.
In the morning Tom had opened his eyes to see his wife lying beside him. Ex-wife, reasoning reminded him. She was sleeping so soundly. She was so beautiful. Her short blonde hair had been a mess, a beautiful mess. A mess he had created when he’d been making love to her all night. The curves of her naked body had been softly lit by the rays that had peeped through the curtain break.
He’d resisted the urge to stroke her soft, tempting skin. She was such a sound sleeper, he knew that from the time they’d spent as husband and wife, but he hadn’t wanted to risk waking her. He’d known he had to slip from the bed and leave. It would be best for both of them. Trying to make sense of what they’d done would be impossible. Sara had made it very clear that she was heading overseas. She was starting a new life and he had to do the same. He had to give her the divorce. He had to give her the freedom she needed and return to his life without her.
He loved her, and maybe she still loved him a little at least, but in a few weeks they would be divorced. She had reminded him of that fact last night in the restaurant. She was moving on, she had told him at the bar where they’d enjoyed a martini together. Leaving for the US in a few weeks to start afresh in a new country, she had told him at the door of her hotel room at midnight.
They hadn’t talked about their past, they hadn’t talked about their work. And they hadn’t spoken about their differences. They’d spoken about the present, about light-hearted subjects. It was as if they had been two strangers who hadn’t wanted to know anything too deep about each other.
It was an unspoken agreement; each knowing they would only share one last night. Tom didn’t want to hold up his end of that unspoken agreement. He wanted his wife back. He wanted to wake up every morning with her in his arms. But he was a logical man and he accepted that could never be.
Before he’d left the room he had paused to take one last look at Sara still asleep in the rumpled bed sheets. She’d looked like an angel. His angel for one last night.
CHAPTER TWO
‘SLOW DOWN...AND tell me how exactly you came to misplace a patient?’
‘I’m not sure, Dr Fielding. His name was...oh, what was his name again? That’s right...Kowalski...Joseph Kowalski. I can’t believe he’s gone. I messed up big time. I’m so sorry, Dr Fielding. I’m really sorry. I’m such an idiot.’
‘Johnson, take a breath. I examined Mr Kowalski in my ward a little over an hour ago. He had multiple mandibular fractures and if I’m not mistaken a blood alcohol close to point two. He was in a hospital gown and hooked up to an IV. I can’t see him travelling very far without being noticed.’
Sara Fielding stepped back from the open doorway to where she couldn’t be seen. Dr Fielding? What was he doing here? He didn’t consult at this hospital. He was the oral and maxillofacial consultant at Lower North Eastern on the other side of the city. It was where she had done her training. It was where they met. Why was he here? He must be visiting Stu to say goodbye, as they were friends. They had all been friends once, she reminded herself.
‘I know, right, how far could he get?’ the young voice returned in varying pitch, trying to convince himself of a good outcome. But his struggle showed when his voice gave in to a nervous stutter. ‘I—I spoke with Security at the b-back and front gates and he hasn’t left the grounds.’
‘Well, that’s comforting, I’d hate to see footage of our escapee on television tonight. We don’t want to see our director’s face on the six p.m. news if they splash shots of the bare backside of an inebriated elderly man, still attached to an IV stand, walking down Swan Street. I can only imagine the paperwork involved with that Ministerial inquiry.’
Stunned, Sara collapsed back against the wall out of the view of Tom and the young man she assumed was either a final year undergraduate or an intern. Our director? Her heart was racing and her stomach had tied itself in a knot. She didn’t hear any of what he was telling the young man after those two words, she just heard the thumping of the blood in her temples. Tom Fielding must now be consulting at this hospital. Her hospital.
‘Security, please.’ Tom spoke into the phone then, while waiting for the connection, he began skimming through the unread emails on his computer screen. After a moment, he continued. ‘It’s Tom Fielding, I’m just checking on the status of a missing patient. Joseph Kowalski. Admitted to the oral surgery ward about two hours ago, apparently did a runner out of the ward... Oh, okay. The cafeteria—poor man’s probably hungry. So where is he now? Right, that’s unfortunate. I’ll send the intern to collect him promptly. Thanks.’ With that he hung up the phone.
‘Well, Johnson, I suggest you head to the florist on the ground floor. Kowalski’s in there, trying to purchase a bouquet, and apparently while searching for his imaginary wallet underneath his hospital gown he has managed to show the family jewels to the volunteers. They’re a little disturbed, so you need to calmly head down and collect him. But remember, you’re no good to anyone, and particularly not Mr Kowalski, if you beat yourself up about it. You followed hospital procedure. You notified Security, and me, and they have him. Good outcome, so just head off and take him back to the ward pronto.’
Sara clenched her eyes closed. Her mind was struggling to process what was happening. It made no sense to her. Stu had set up the appointment at the hospital to discuss his caseload and show her around the operating theatres. Then he was going to take her to his practice, which was apparently only a few blocks away. There had definitely been no mention of Tom in the conversation. If there had been she wouldn’t have agreed to come. Nervously, she smoothed her skirt and tugged her jacket back into position.
More than anything, she wanted to run. To disappear and not face Tom again. But she couldn’t. She had made a promise to Stu to locum for him for the month. A promise she couldn’t break.
The heat began rising in her cheeks. Her heart began beating a little faster. Elevating anxiety was threatening her composure but she was fighting back. She tried to put the situation into perspective quickly. She had limited time to find a solution, a tidy way to process this.
The practice would occupy most of her time. There would be Theatre two days a week or perhaps only one and a half. She would be consulting at the private practice at least three days, maybe even three and a half. Thoughts of their recent night together, their romantic whirlwind engagement and their year as husband and wife had to be replaced hurriedly with a professional demeanour. She needed to rebuild those walls that had protected her for the last three years and which would once again be her saviour when she walked into the office to face Tom.
Clearly his presence at the hospital would complicate things but she wouldn’t run and hide. She needed to face this head-on. She was thirty-two years old now with a respected medical career. The fact that they had spent one crazy night together couldn’t affect their work, they had to put it behind them.
Perhaps he already had done that, she told herself. He had left the hotel room without a word and he hadn’t contacted her since, so he must be feeling the same way. She desperately needed to freeze her heart before she saw his face.
Reaching down for her briefcase, she waited a moment for the young man to leave. With her head held high, she would walk into Tom’s office and behave as if nothing had ever happened.
Unfortunately, she assumed the young man would be walking, not running, and not straight into her.
His full weight met with her tiny frame, sending her crashing back into the wall and her briefcase tumbling down to the ground.
‘Oh, no, I’m so sorry. I didn’t see you there,’ he gasped, as he reached out to steady Sara. ‘Are you okay?’
Sara was stunned into silence for a moment. Finally she managed to mutter, ‘I’m fine, really.’ She was a little shaken but didn’t want to make a fuss. Bending down to gather her belongings, she didn’t think the day could get any worse.
‘No, you’re not. You’re bleeding. You’ve cut your leg!’
Sara spied the gash on her knee. The open lock on her briefcase must have cut her before it hit the ground.
‘Come with me. You’ll have to sit down while I get some antiseptic and gauze.’ The young man directed Sara into the office he had just left. Tom’s office. This was not the entrance she had hoped to make, which had been walking in confidently and meeting Tom on an equal footing. Now, limping in, she wasn’t going to meet him on any footing.
* * *
Tom didn’t lift his eyes from the papers he was reading on his desk. Sara noticed his white exam coat was still thrown over the chair. He had always hated wearing it, and apparently he still did. The top button of his blue striped shirt was undone and there was no sign of a tie.
‘They’re waiting downstairs, Johnson...you need to get there stat.’ His voice was stern but not abrasive.
Sara stood in the doorway supported by her apologetic assailant. Across the room she watched the man who had captured her heart all those years ago and who had made love to her only a few short weeks ago. For the briefest moment time seemed to stand still. Her resolve to forget their history vanished and she found herself wondering how it would be if things had been different between them.
She hated feeling this way. It wasn’t fair and she couldn’t allow her feelings to cloud her future. The chemistry they shared had allowed the anger and frustration to dissipate over dinner and drinks. But here in the hospital she would fight it. Her biological clock was ticking louder than her heart and she was determined that Tom Fielding would not rob her of the chance to have a family. She would not make that sacrifice. Letting him leave the hotel room had proved to Sara that she had the reserves to do it. To walk away a second time, and to let him do the same.
Tom’s eyes were shadowed by a slight frown before he lifted his head and met her gaze. Abruptly the frown vanished and he stood to his feet.
‘Sara, I thought you were in San Antonio. What are you doing here?’ Suddenly Tom’s eyes dropped to the injury on her leg. ‘Are you hurt? What on earth happened?’ Concern etched his voice as he crossed the room with long purposeful strides. He drew her into his arms and pulled her close to his firm body as Johnson released his support.
Sara resisted Tom’s hold. She tried to pull away but his strong arms held her still.
‘I crashed into her, Dr Fielding. I didn’t see her. I’m sorry. She was waiting outside but I was in a hurry and boof—I hit her.’ The young man re-enacted the collision with his hands.
‘Grab that chair,’ Tom said, motioning towards the large armchair that sat by the window. ‘Bring it here quickly.’
The young man dragged the chair across the room and Tom gently lowered Sara onto the cushioned leather.
‘There’s a first-aid kit in the cupboard to the right of the bookcase.’
Sara heard the instructions Tom gave to Johnson but her eyes were transfixed on Tom as he crossed the room to retrieve a small footstool by the bookcase.
He looked every bit as gorgeous in the daylight as he had that night just a month ago. His lean, angular face was slightly tanned and his grey eyes were luminous beneath his sandy brows.
He smiled at her as he carried the footstool back, his wide sensual mouth slowly curving upwards. But she would not reciprocate.
Tom had no place in her life any more. In fact, he should never have been there. They were two very different people with completely different priorities in life.
Sara swallowed hard. ‘It’s just a little scratch, honestly. It’s nothing...’ Her words were cut short when she felt the warmth of his hands on her bare skin. He looked into her eyes as he knelt on the floor beside her, gently lifting her leg and placing it on the stool. He moved the hem of her skirt slightly to assess the damage to her knee. She swallowed hard. She hated that the feel of his fingers lightly touching her skin sent shivers down her spine. Again she wished she had worn heavy woollen tights, but this time it wasn’t because of the cold.
Johnson handed him an antiseptic wipe and some gauze.
‘It’s just a superficial wound. I’ll clean it up but I think a plaster will suffice.’
‘I’m so glad and I’m so sorry, I mean it. I can’t believe what a day I’ve had and now this—’
‘We’ll be fine here, Johnson,’ Tom interrupted. ‘Go and collect your patient but this time just take it a little slower.’
‘Are you sure? You don’t need anything?’
‘Positive,’ Tom replied, not taking his eyes off Sara.
Sara watched from the corner of her eye as the young man put the first-aid kit back on Tom’s desk, picked up her briefcase and overcoat from the doorway, put them by her chair and left the room.
And left them alone.
Tom’s hands were still cradling her leg. The plaster was securely attached to the clean wound but he didn’t want to release her. He had forgotten how good it felt to have Sara this close. He had no idea why she was in his office but for the briefest moment he didn’t care. She was with him again. Near him again. And he could touch her soft, warm skin. Her perfume was invading his senses. It was the same fragrance she had always worn. So little had changed and yet so much had changed for ever.
Finally he came to his senses and reluctantly released his hold, standing up and moving back to his desk. He looked at the woman before him. She was as beautiful as the day they’d met, the day they’d married and the day she’d left him. But she had left him.
‘What brings you back to Melbourne and my office?’ he asked, as he rested back against the wooden frame and folded his arms across his chest. ‘I thought you’d be in Texas by now.’ He suddenly felt the need to protect himself. Then the realisation of why she had come to the hospital hit him. She must have grown tired of waiting for the divorce papers to make the return trip to her, so she had made the visit to collect them herself.
‘The documents are with my lawyer. No doubt they’ll be with yours tomorrow.’
Sara suddenly realised that Tom had no idea either. He was obviously equally clueless that they would be working at the same hospital.
‘I’m not here for the papers, Tom. Although I’m glad to hear that’s progressing,’ she announced. ‘No, actually, I’m here to work for a month, filling in for Stu.’
‘You’re filling in for Stu?’ Tom was gobsmacked.
‘You never said anything that night when we...’ He hesitated for a minute. He didn’t want to allude to what he knew they were both thinking. He cleared his throat. ‘When we bumped into each other. I’m surprised you didn’t say anything.’
Sara just stared at him for a moment, trying desperately to push the vivid snapshots of the evening from her mind.
‘I didn’t know back then, when we...’ She paused. It was becoming more awkward and uncomfortable by the minute. ‘That night, well, I hadn’t spoken with Stu and I had no idea you consulted here. But even if I had known, if you remember, we didn’t talk work at all.’
Tom nodded in silence.
Sara knew she would never have accepted Stu’s proposal to fill in for him if she had known Tom worked at the hospital where she would be operating. She had assumed he was safely ensconced at the other side of town. But she had to deal with the situation. There was no other choice. Stu would never find another oral surgeon on short notice and she would never leave him high and dry like that. She just had to deal with Tom.
‘So, what are you doing at this hospital?’
‘I’m the associate professor of oral surgery.’
Sara was taken aback. Tom hadn’t said a word that night. With a title like that, and the extraordinary workload and dedication to achieve such a position, he had certainly earned some bragging rights. But he had said nothing about it. She wanted to say how proud she was of him, but of course pride carried ownership or at the very least attachment, and she couldn’t afford either.
‘Congratulations, Tom,’ she finally decided, keeping it simple. ‘That must have been a lot of work. You must be the youngest associate professor on staff.’
‘So they say. But I’d completed my PhD, and had a year post-doctoral experience so I met the selection criteria. The board approved my appointment for three years and I’m only six months into it,’ he responded. The PhD had kept his mind from missing Sara after she left. It had provided him with a focus and purpose in getting up each day.
‘I still operate on private patients but I’m more involved with the teaching and rotation programme in the undergraduate, graduate and professional curricula and the development of post-qualifying modules. But enough about me. I’m still in shock that you are Stu’s mysterious replacement.’
‘What do you mean, mysterious?’ Sara replied, giving him a puzzled look.
‘I mean he hadn’t told me who was filling in at the practice. Stu told me that he had it covered but not that you were his replacement.’
Sara was even more confused. Stu’s private practice was not his concern. ‘Why do you discuss his practice? Don’t you still have your own?’
Tom gave her a wry look. ‘Because we’re partners, Stu’s a partner now in my old practice—he bought in a few months ago. I only consult there one day a week now. The hospital consumes most of my time, but I still wanted to maintain some patient contact.’
Sara was completely flustered for a moment. Not only was Tom consulting at the hospital where she would be operating but he was also a partner at the practice where she would be consulting for the next month. She would be working at Tom’s old practice. This was quickly spiralling into a disaster.
‘Oh, well, at least this will be uncomfortable for both of us,’ she said honestly.
Tom stood watching her carefully, looking for clues as to what she was thinking and, more importantly, feeling. He wanted some signs that would let him into her head. There was nothing. She really had shut him out. That night had been nothing but a moment of passion between two lonely people in a big city. Nothing more.
He knew then and there what he had to do. He had to keep his ex-wife away from his heart. Or he’d go mad. It was crazy and he knew it but he still loved the woman sitting there, so close but emotionally so distant. The woman who had captured his heart all those years ago still held it quite firmly in her hands. He had to push her away. Or, more to the point, he had to push her out of his reach.
He didn’t need a reminder of why she’d left. Or why she’d had to leave. They had shared that discussion too many times to recall.
Any feelings she’d once had for him were clearly gone. He had to accept it. And so he adopted the same detached demeanour. A demeanour very far from his true feelings.
‘There really shouldn’t be any problems. That night...’ He paused. ‘Let’s just say old habits, reminiscing, we crossed the line, both of us. It won’t happen again. But, hey, we got it out of our systems. Like an itch that needed a good scratch, and now it’s done we can both move on.’
Sara was thrown by his response. It was cold. He really was over them. An itch? That sounded so unlike the Tom she had known. Still, three years had passed and he had obviously changed. Or, just like her, was he putting on a façade to make the arrangement they found themselves in a little less awkward? It didn’t matter. They both knew and understood the rules.
Without answering, Tom crossed back to her and reached for her leg. Sara jumped as his hand gently lifted her leg down from the stool and placed her foot back on the floor.
‘We’re good, Sara...we’re good.’
* * *
Sara wasn’t so sure. She was going to be operating at the hospital for a month. That meant bumping into each other, on ward rounds, near the OR. There were too many opportunities where they would see each other.
The way her body had reacted to Tom made her realise only too quickly that the chemistry she shared with him wasn’t just a memory. She suddenly worried if her love for him would ever truly be over. But they had no future. She would not give up on the idea of bringing children into the world. Being a mother was a dream she wanted to hold onto but Tom never wanted to be a father. That was written in stone.
She had spent too long getting him out of her head and her heart.
Sara looked at him, and even through her tired eyes she could see the man who won her love was still as handsome and charismatic as ever. It’s four short weeks. It can’t be that difficult.
‘I’m a little tired—can we discuss the work schedule later? We can sort out the personal arrangements too over the next few days. I’m happy with the financial separation the way it is. It won’t change after we divorce. You won’t need to support me, so it should be done very quickly.’
There was an uncomfortable silence between them. She had no idea what was going on in Tom’s mind but he clearly wasn’t about to share anything. She had said her piece and cleared the air.
‘Quick and painless, like an extraction of an upper molar,’ he said matter-of-factly.
Sara knew when Tom became uncomfortable he always used dark humour. It was how he masked his emotions.
‘Not quite,’ she replied, then chose to change the subject. ‘After the four weeks here, I’m off. I don’t know a lot about Texas but the position sounded exciting and I jumped at it,’ she told him as she crossed to one of the floor-to-ceiling bookcases that lined the room. Part of her didn’t want to go to the US. Part of her still wanted Tom. But she also wanted more.
Sara lightly ran her fingers over a row of leather-bound medical books standing next to one another on the shelf and thought back to all of the nights she had spent poring over books just like them as a postgraduate student at the university library, hoping to come close to Tom’s knowledge and skill. But it wasn’t just his ability and compassion as a doctor that had her in awe, it was his commanding presence as a man that had drawn her to him. He had been her lecturer and her mentor but more than that, she had wished he was her lover.
She had felt on some level there was chemistry that ran between them. She would watch him standing at the lectern, speaking to all the medical students, and she had hoped, as his eyes had scanned the lecture hall, that he had seen her as more than just his student. She had wanted him to see her as a woman. A woman who respected his knowledge, admired his skills but wanted to know more about him as a man.
Sara would daydream in the tram on the way home, a bag full of handwritten notes at her feet and a laptop in her backpack, about the two of them driving home together. She had pictured them talking about their days, comparing notes on cases and discussing surgical procedures. Sara remembered back to the long nights when she would lie in twisted sheets staring at the ceiling in the darkness of her university bedroom. She would picture the curves of his handsome face, the skin wrinkling softly around his grey eyes when he laughed, and the warm, masculine scent of his body.
Not being able to say how she felt during those many months of study was at times almost impossible. But she knew better than to say anything to her incredibly handsome tutor. It was more than likely that her romantic musings were one-sided. She didn’t want her imagination to steer her into attracting more of his attention. He was almost seven years older, infinitely wiser and often intimidating. And she was his student. Capable and willing to learn, passing with distinctions, but still his student.
She thought he would be more interested in dating one of his peers, yet there were moments when she felt there was something more. She would ask a question, or answer one that he had posed, and he would appear genuinely impressed.
There were times when his eyes seemed to linger on her a little longer. His mouth would curve ever so slightly and his eyes seemed to be smiling. Her heart would skip a beat, and she hoped she didn’t blush. Sometimes he would ask her to stay late with a small number of postgraduates to discuss a topic or alternate prognosis in greater depths. On more than one occasion he bumped into her in the university cafeteria and they shared a table and talked of things other than work.
She wanted more than anything for his interest to be more than just academic, and these chats led her to believe it was, but he was a complicated man. She decided that until her training was over and he made his feelings clear she would keep her own locked safely inside her heart.
Sara never regretted that decision. Soon after she graduated and found a role in a private practice based in Brighton, Tom invited her to a celebratory dinner. She was so surprised and happy. It was a dinner for two. Standing at the door of the restaurant as they waited for their table, his soft hands cupped her face and gently turned her towards him. Tenderly, he reached down and kissed her.
It took Sara’s breath away. Her intuition about his feelings had been right all along. The man of her dreams, of all her late-night fantasies, was kissing her. And not caring who saw them.
She remembered every wonderful warm feeling that rushed through her body when, with love in his eyes and a wicked grin, he whispered huskily that given the chance he would never let her out of his sight again. He told her he wanted to keep her in his arms for ever.
It was a whirlwind romance. Every second weekend they spent away at different cosy bed and breakfasts all over Victoria and then, three months after their first date, Tom surprised Sara with a trip to Paris. Winter had set in and they had planned on heading to the ski slopes of Mount Hotham. The night before they were due to leave for the snow, sitting by the heater in Sara’s apartment eating raisin toast and sipping on hot chocolate, Tom told Sara there was a slight change in plans but one he hoped she would like. He suggested that she should pack some summer clothes and her passport instead of thermal underwear. As Sara frantically emptied her suitcase of her sweaters, ski pants and thick socks, hurriedly replacing them with cotton dresses, shorts and T-shirts, she told him that he was crazy.
And he told her that he loved her.
Tom managed to keep the new holiday destination a secret until the cab arrived at Tullamarine airport and he carried their luggage to the Air France check-in. Sara was so excited that she felt her eyes brimming with tears as she took her boarding pass, destination Paris.
Together, they spent a blissful week at Hotel Mansart on Paris’s Right Bank. They strolled hand in hand around the Tuileries Garden and along the pathways lined with tulips. Tom was the most romantic, wonderful lover and Sara knew without doubt that she was totally and completely in love. She couldn’t help but smile with happiness as they sat together by the sparkling pools in the warmth of a perfect summer day. A perfect day with her perfect man and Sara thought life couldn’t be any more wonderful.
But it could. And a short time later it did. As they stood admiring the Maillol sculptures in the soft light of sunset, Tom fell to one knee and slipped a diamond solitaire ring on Sara’s finger. She gasped and nodded before she kissed the man of her dreams and fell into his arms. She knew with all of her heart it was where she belonged.
After years of study to qualify as an oral and maxillofacial surgeon, Sara was twenty-eight years of age and Tom was about to turn thirty-five so they decided to have a very short engagement and that night as they lay in each other’s arms they set a wedding date only three months away.
Sara was going to spend her life with a man she completely and utterly adored and she had never been so happy in her life...
‘Sara. Yoo-hoo, I asked you when exactly you’re leaving for cattle country?’
CHAPTER THREE
SARA RAISED HER chin and turned around to face Tom. She looked across the room to see him sitting back down in his high-backed leather chair. She thanked the heavens that, no matter how extraordinarily talented her estranged husband was, at least he wasn’t a mind-reader.
She was angry with herself for the way she was reacting to him again. She was so distracted. Closing her eyes for a moment, she took a deep, calming breath. She had to get her emotions under control. Tom was bringing back feelings that she couldn’t afford to entertain. She had other plans.
But now, seeing Tom again, her heart began questioning her head.
Would she ever find a man she loved as much as Tom?
She had dated a few men over the past three years but not one of them had ever matched up. She always compared her dates to Tom. She hated that she did it. And she hated that they never came close.
She cursed silently as she studied him. He wasn’t going to ruin her life. She could be happy one day and have the big messy family that she’d always wanted. She deserved a man in her life who was willing to give her that family.
‘Listen, Tom, I think that it’s best I head to the hotel and put my feet up for a while.’
There was a knock on the door, forcing Sara to step back. A tall, well-dressed woman entered, a clipboard in hand. She was very attractive and Sara guessed her to be in her late twenties. Her hair was short and dark in a Cleopatra cut, which suited her almond shaped eyes and Mediterranean features.
‘Tom, I’m sorry to interrupt but I thought you should know that tomorrow afternoon’s list has an alteration. The mandibular advancement, Troy Reeves, has cancelled. Influenza. I’ve rescheduled him for the twentieth of the month. With any luck you’ll finish surgery by six tomorrow night.’
‘Christina, this is Sara,’ Tom said, as he reached for the amended list. ‘Sara, this is Christina, my secretary.’
Both women smiled courteously.
‘Christina, if you’ve done your bit, go on home,’ Tom told her. ‘I really appreciate you coming in on a weekend. I’ll make it up to you.’
‘Don’t be silly, Tom. I’m happy to help out under the circumstances and I’ll see you around seven.’ With that she headed back to the open door. ‘Nice to meet you, Sara.’
Sara smiled and with equal grace said goodbye before the door closed.
‘Don’t know what I’d do without her,’ Tom remarked casually. ‘She’s a remarkable woman.’
Sara felt an unexpected ache in her heart when she heard him talk that way about another woman. And they had plans at seven. They had a date. It was ridiculous to be feeling anything other than elation. But she didn’t. She felt jealous. It was insane. Why should she care what he thought of or, for that matter, did with other women? Tom could date other women. And now he’d signed the divorce papers he could marry another woman. As long as she didn’t want children. It wasn’t her concern what he did.
You wanted a divorce and now you have it within your reach. And don’t forget it, she reminded herself as she tried to pull her thoughts back to the situation at hand.
Before Sara had a chance to open her mouth, the door burst open again. She spun around and found herself being hauled into the arms of a tall, rather robust man with a bushy beard. She felt dwarfed by his stature. He hugged her ferociously and then stepped back.
Sara had to steady herself. It took a moment for her to register just who was on the giving end of the exuberant embrace.
‘Sara,’ he said. ‘You’re looking great. How long has it been?’
‘Stuart!’ she managed to return, realising it was her old friend hiding beneath the thick facial hair. His trademark mop of russet curls hadn’t changed at all, now she took stock of him, neither had his twinkling brown eyes in rimless glasses. ‘Gosh, it must be three years or more. Last time I saw you would’ve been...at...um...your...’ She stumbled over her words.
A cough echoed from across the room. ‘I think Sara’s trying to say it was at your anniversary party just before we went our different ways,’ Tom interjected. ‘And by the way, Stu, it would’ve been nice of you to let me in on the fact Sara was filling in for you. I had no idea.’
Stuart just shrugged his shoulders. ‘Should’ve read the memo I left on your desk in the office.’
‘Maybe you should have just told me.’
‘I’m not your secretary, Dr Fielding. We’re partners!’
Sara smiled at the banter. They were like bickering children.
‘It’s lovely to see you again, Stu,’ she cut in, to change the subject before it escalated further.
‘Just wonderful to see you, gorgeous. You haven’t changed a bit. Stunning as always,’ he said, stepping back. ‘I’m sorry I was delayed in ICU. I wanted to be here when you arrived and talk through everything but since Tom is here I’m sure he can run you through my caseload and his as well. He’s going to take over my day at the hospital and you will cover his day there. It’s easier than trying to have you cover at the hospital for me. Way too much paperwork in this place,’ he said, rolling his eyes.
‘Okay, I’m happy to fit in where I can,’ Sara said after hearing the update. She’d had no idea she would be covering for anyone else, let alone Tom, but it did make sense.
‘I’m glad I got to thank you in person before I leave. You’re a trouper. Dana and I can’t tell you how much it means to us.’
‘It’s my pleasure. Are you looking forward to your time off?’
‘It’s not exactly time off for the sake of it. I’m taking time out to be with Bonny. She was hurt in an accident up on the farm. The tractor lost its grip on an embankment. It rolled into a ditch where Bonny was playing.’
‘Oh, my...’ Sara’s hand instinctively covered her mouth. ‘When did that happen?’
‘A few weeks back. She’s okay. She’s out of hospital now. I mean, all things considered, she’s doing really well. It was a dirty great tractor and she’s so tiny and it could have been much worse. Thankfully there were huge great boulders that took the full weight of the tractor. It fell sideways and Bonny got injured when the metal toolbox lost its moorings and landed on her. She was knocked unconscious and her leg was pinned underneath the exhaust pipe.’ The pain in his eyes couldn’t mask the distress he was feeling at retelling the story.
Sara was horrified at the thought of Bonny pinned beneath the tractor. She felt her own spine rush with cold and then tears begin to build. She blinked them away.
‘I didn’t want to guilt you into coming so I didn’t mention Bonny when you offered to fill in. It would’ve been unfair to put that sort of pressure on you.’
‘It wouldn’t have been pressure. You know I would do anything for you and Dana. I’m just so incredibly sorry to hear about all of this,’ Sara told him truthfully. ‘I’m glad I’m here, and I hope you can just focus on Bonny and get her better even sooner.’
‘She’s up and walking but still in a frame,’ Stuart told her. ‘But she’s determined to get back on those little feet of hers. I know she can do it and I think she’s going to get better that much sooner with me home full time to help her through the physio. I’m usually home three days a week then here in Melbourne, consulting, the other four.’
Sara watched as Stuart looked pensively down toward his hands and nervously twisted his wedding band back and forth. She felt helpless to ease the almost tangible pain he was suffering.
‘She hasn’t regained her speech yet,’ he began, in little more than a dying whisper.
Sara reached for his hands and encircled them in her own.
‘If she’s anything like you, little Bonny will be back on her feet and telling you off before you know it.’
He coughed to clear his throat and slowly pulled his hands free of hers and stepped away from her. Sara suspected it was some sort of male strategy he was using to keep his emotions in check.
‘I know she will. It’s Dana that needs convincing. The specialists have told us with family around her full time she’ll be racing ahead. I originally organised a nurse to help out with the twins so Dana could spend time with Bonny, but now, thanks to you taking over for the next month, we can keep it just the family and I know it will make all the difference to her recovery.’
Stuart wrapped one arm around her shoulder and pulled her close again in a bear hug. ‘Dana sends her love and hopes you can visit us at the farm soon. We’ve had it for two years now. Dana really wants you to meet the twins. They’re nearly one and, of course, Bonny’s almost seven now.’
Sara felt a twinge of guilt for not returning to Melbourne to visit Stuart and Dana. The four of them had shared some wonderful times together, but after the separation Sara had felt the need to stay away from risk of seeing Tom. She’d emailed often and called occasionally. She’d sent them a basket filled with toys and baby gifts when the twins were born. But for the last few months she had been too focused on planning the trip and hadn’t spoken to them. Obviously because of the accident and their priority being Bonny, they hadn’t reached out to her either.
‘It has been far too long since I saw you,’ she began. ‘I really would love to visit you and Dana on the farm when Bonny is up to it.’
‘Of course, Dana would love it,’ he responded. ‘Sars, some things never change, you know, like you and Tom. Good friends you can always rely on in times of need.’
Sara was having trouble concentrating. Her mind was spinning with images of helpless little Bonny lying in the ditch beneath the tractor. She could only imagine how devastating it had been for the family.
She was deep in terrible, vivid thoughts she didn’t want to have filling her head, when Stuart’s prickly beard brushed against her neck as he kissed her cheek to thank her yet again.
‘I won’t forget this, kiddo,’ Stuart told her. ‘If there’s ever anything I can ever do for you, just ask.’
‘Don’t you think twice about it,’ she returned. ‘Just get Bonny well—that’s enough for me.’
‘Well, I expect to see you up on the farm the first break you get.’ He smiled and was gone, leaving her alone in the office with Tom.
The atmosphere in the office changed within moments.
With calm composure Sara walked to the door and softly closed it. Her hand quietly released the handle before she turned on her heel and marched over to his desk. ‘Why didn’t you tell me about Bonny when we caught up the other night?’
‘I hadn’t seen you for three years, we were keeping it light and I didn’t see the point. You said you were leaving to live in Texas. What could you have done? I had no idea that you were coming here to work with me...’
‘Neither did I, but surely something as serious as that would rate a mention.’ Sara was angry with Tom and not afraid to let him know it.
‘Sara, you walked out on me. You walked out on our life together and everything we shared. You never brought up Stu or Dana that night. What right do you have to question me about my actions or what I do and don’t tell you? We shared a few hours together. I don’t know what’s been happening in your life any more than you know what’s been happening in mine. We kept it light, Sara, so don’t lecture me about what I should and shouldn’t have shared with you.’ His lips were tight and his mouth formed a hard line.
Sara stepped back. She was acutely aware that Tom was right. She had walked away and she had no right to criticise him. She hadn’t asked about Stu and Dana during the evening they’d spent together. That night she had purposely steered the conversation away from anything and anyone that linked her back to their life together.
‘You’re right. I’m sorry,’ she said, regret tainting her voice. ‘I guess it wasn’t your job to bring me up to speed that night. It’s just that we were so close to Stu and Dana and I wish I’d known. I wish they’d called me or I’d called them.’
Sara realised that she had only herself to blame. It wasn’t Tom’s fault. Her lack of sleep was finally taking its toll and she could feel that her eyes were becoming heavy.

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