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Waiting for the Etonians: Reports from the Sickbed of Liberal England
Nick Cohen
Do you remember what life was like before the crash?• When level-headed couples were still taking mortgages five times their joint income.• When the middle class was divided between the haves and the have yachts.• When Her Majesty's Government boasted that their 'light-touch regulation' of finance had abolished boom and bust, and laughed hysterically at anyone who disagreed.By Christmas 2008, eight banks had been part-nationalised, Woolworths had disappeared, unemployment had reached nearly two million and the country's debt had hit record levels. We are now a bankrupt nation.After the Great Crash of 2008, Americans could at least blame an incompetent right-wing government. But when the money ran out, Britain was ruled by left wingers who had grown up despising the 'funny-money' men. And yet, like the most gullible investors on Wall Street, New Labour prostrated themselves before the snake oil charmers of financial capital.Since they came to power in 1997, Nick Cohen has been taking the pulse of what has turned out to be the longest period of left-wing government in British history. Over a decade later, he reports from the sickbed of liberal England as battered and broken voters contemplate a remarkable shift. With splendid outrage and great compassion, Waiting for the Etonians, is an account of a country that, for the first time since the end of the Empire, is considering embracing the old ruling class it has despised for decades.

NICK COHEN

Waiting for the Etonians
Reports from the sickbed
of Liberal England


To A-M for sustaining and supporting me

CONTENTS
Introduction—Looking Back at the Ruins

PART 1—The Classless Society

Holding on to Nurse
Class Hatred: A Defence
The Cool Rich and the Dumb Poor
The Moneyed Young Beasts
In Search of the Normal

PART 2—Who is England? What is She?

Celebrity Chefs and Invisible Immigrants
Black on Brown/Brown on Black (#uf0753a97-905a-5ba1-9540-39b2018142fc)
Ryanair Migrants
Neo-Fascists at the Village Hall
Shooting the Foxes
Law without Order
Svengali at the Church School
Blowing Britishness Away

PART 3—Oh, Comrades!

Pacifists and the Bomb
Communists and Fascists
Pseudo-Leftists and Real Rightists
Eco-tourists and Islamo-terrorists
Multiculturalists and Monomaniacs
Liberals and Murderers (Part One)
Liberals and Murderers (Part Two)
Social Democrats and Theocrats

PART 4—Tyranny and the Intellectuals

Martin Amis Meets Liberal London
Neoconitis Sweeps Broadcast News
It’s the Jews, Once Again
Vänster Om, Höger Om!
Nicolas Sarkozy Woos Bernard-Henri Lévy

PART 5—The Silence of the Hams

The Rout of the Avant-Garde
Now It’s the Art Galleries
The Broadcasters Bite Their Tongues
A Cartoon Crisis
State Britain
Labour’s Contemptible Election Trade-off
Inequality before the Law

PART 6—Bread without Freedom

Lesser Breeds without the Law
The White Woman’s Burden
Let Them Eat Organic
The Menace of the Quaint

PART 7—Cuckoo Land

Pathologising Everyday Life
The Genetic Revolution (Postponed)
The Clairvoyants
Criminal Crackers
Beware of the Flowers

PART 8—Before the Banks Bust

The World on Your Doorstep
Casino Capitalism
Natural-Born Billers
The Roc’s Egg of Great Ladies’ Assemblies
Primal Screams and Broken Dreams
‘Sub-prime’ (adjective): Insanely Risky
The Skull beneath the Skin

PART 9—Waiting for the Etonians

The Making of the Next Prime Minister?
‘We’re from the Tory Party and We’ve Come to Help’
Breaking the Camel’s Back
All Passion Spent
Attack of the Mulletts
Tory Isolationism
The Retreat to Little England
The Great Leap Backwards

Postscript—The Reasonableness of Ranters

Index (#ulink_f738daf5-7556-5da4-9ed0-a2c90ffb99ee)
Also by Nick Cohen (#ue5a9d11a-34f3-5f94-9c44-a1cd1faf867d)
About the Author
Review (#u62395a48-ce08-5108-a76f-9f25938a38a1)
Copyright (#uce9c1d98-10c0-5a5a-9a02-4a89dd172ba1)
About the Publisher (#uab1ace25-d1bf-5f1a-b8b7-33a4516b262f)

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